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stovetoast · 1 year

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a year ago today, kirby and the forgotten land released worldwide. i didnt have energy for a full drawing, so i wrote a little something under the cut to celebrate.

it feels strange. i still remember all of those months of waiting. theorizing. hoping. discussing. watching failboats reactions over and over. the day it was leaked, i typed KIRBYDISCOVERY into my calculator because i couldnt calm myself down from the news. its all so vivid, as if it happened yesterday, but... no. the game's been out for a year. to say that leaves a smile on my face.

the smile on my face is one of fondness. its been out for a year, and im growing along with it. i was 15, now i turn 17 in almost exactly 3 months. welcome to the new world was new to me, now i know how to pronounce most of the fake lyrics because of how much ive listened to it. i had short hair, now its down to my shoulders. people were unsure about elfilin, now theyre a beloved part of the franchise. i have a kirby hoodie now, my childhood dream. i can stand up for myself more. im growing. forgotten land won best family game of 2022. the start of a new world. the franchise is growing, and ive never been happier with my choice to live for it.

im not exaggerating when i say kirby and the forgotten land is what kept me alive in the months before its release. i was hurting, so badly, but i couldnt die. i didnt want to die. the idea of missing such an important addition to my favorite series, a milestone, a new start... it was torture. i had to keep going. and i still press on, even after i got my final waddle dee. i still press on, because why choose to live for something at all if youre going to take it back when the rest of the world seems to have moved on? i didnt. and i dont think i ever will.

every second of this game is an experience. every waddle dee you save, every note that plays, every hit you squeeze in on a boss. is it a perfect game? no, but it never had to be. i dont want it to be. i dont want a patch. i dont want an update. i dont want dlc. i dont want perfection. i want my unbridled love for this game to be questioned, because whats more human than finding beauty in mistakes? whats the point of singing karaoke with your friends if everyone hits every note? whats the point of skin if every mark is covered? whats the point of a funny exploit if its patched out? i still teach my friends the hammer jump glitch, because why should something like that stay hidden when its brought people joy?

forgotten land, its reception, its story, and the people who were so enthralled by its beauty that they stuck around... it captures the human experience better than any other installment in the franchise. the ties to the lore. the fake language. the music. the world. the way the waddle dees found the resources to build a town and start fresh. the way it was previously left behind, not out of malice, but out of curiosity. in japan, this game is known as kirby of the stars: discovery. the people who made interdimensional travel possible in-universe worked at a place called lab discovera. youre encouraged to explore, to find, to search.

this game is about discovering something new, whether it be something as grand as a reason to live, or as small as a rare stone hidden around the town. thats what life is all about too, isnt it?

yet most that care enough have already reached 100% completion, including me. people arent tagging spoilers anymore. everyone knows who fecto elfilis is. theres no anticipation for why it has a fear warning. its meant to be experienced as if it were new, but... its not anymore. maybe thats why my smile isnt as big as it should be. my mind wants to move on with the rest of the crowd, but i dont want to. i never want to.

i dont know how to close this in a clean way, mostly because i dont want to close it at all. theres so much more i want to say but if i did id be here for hours, so... ill leave you with this: if youre still reading by this point, thank you. if you played this game, thank you. if you voted for it in the game awards, thank you. if you suggested it to a friend, thank you. thank you. thank you. i have never held a game this close to my heart, at least not enough to wrote about it in this way. im overjoyed that hal labs loves their games in the way they do, and hope that they continue to stay this passionate for years to come. do they know we can feel their love? do they know how much theyve done for me? for us? maybe, maybe not.

to anyone involved in forgotten land... thank you. you made me feel human again, even if only for a week, and thats a sort of debt i will never be able to repay.

#art #artists on tumblr #kirby #kirby fanart #kirby and the forgotten land #kirby of the stars #nintendo fanart #kirby nintendo #katfl #suicide mention

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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 1 month

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Someone liked my post about how Amren should have to drink fae blood and since ive been on a pretty big vampire kick since about october of last year Im just thinking about what if acotar was about vampires. first of all, i think sjm writing vampires would make me very angry, i hear that the way she writes fae makes fae-fans really angry and I can definitely see why even though i dont know THAT much about fae, I just dont have a whole lot of personal investment in the accuracy and interestingness of fae lore, but I am highly invested in vampire lore it would make me pretty mad but I think itd be more fun for me to complain about, so what Im saying is sjm should totally write a book series about vampires

But anyway, lets get back to my initial thought of 'What if ACOTAR but vampires'. honestly, theres not much to get back to because Im basically just rotating some vague aesthetic bullshit in around in my mind. Oh, also I just had a thought, what if Feyre had to experience episode one of the hit-netflix miniseries Dracula (2020). I think she'd kill that old man if im honest. OH wait no, speaking of dracula series

Okay so, imagine this: at some unspecified point in the future, Feyre gets sick and tired of Prythian and leaves, I was gonna say Rhysand died before that but i dont wanna imply that she only left because he died and also I remembered that stupid death bargain existed. So she leaves and she actually goes back to the mortal realm, but she goes to the continent instead of returning to her home village, she wants a completely fresh start and shes like, pretending to be a human too, shes hiding her ears and glamouring herself and whatnot. With her shes brought some faerie lights as well as all of the stuff she needs to make a whole lot more of them, because shes gonna sell faerie lights as this groundbreaking alternative to more traditional light sources. So she rolls up to the scene, this hot mysterious foreign entrepeneur, shes enlisted that mercenary from all the way in the beginning of ACOTAR to help her in her endevour, and shes got all these suits who have a vested interest in maintaining a monopoly on light sources so theyre doing everything they can to prevent her from getting faerie lights of the ground, but Feyre simply keeps evading them. At some point she aquires a boytoy with whom she does not have any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with its exclusively professional and for the sake of her faerie light business, Feyre ends up seducing her boytoys fiancee and just absolutely destroys her marriage. Thats when those light source suits come back in, they have still been trying to bring Feyre down while shes been busy seducing but now theyre back at the foreground, and they approach the boygoy being like "hey, we heard that mysterious weirdo stole ya girl. Well, shes in danger of stealing our profits as well so how about you sabotage her and destroy her business and life" maybe they would mention something about her being a dangerous fae as well but idk, theyre like capitalists so Im not expecting them to care that much about the danger. But whatever, boytoy says "sure I'll do that" and he goes over to this big warehouse/factory type building where they make/store all the faerie lights. Feyre is about to give this big show where she properly shows the public how the faerie lights work and how you can replace normal lamps with them, this has been planned for months now and theyre storing all these lights in one place. So boytoy goes to where they store all the lights and he fucks with them a little, and then Feyre goes up on like a stage in front of am audience holding a faerie light and shes giving this presentation on how they work and whatnot, but as she goes on she notices that theres something very wrong and she realizes that all the faerie lights are about to EXPLODE OH NO so she tells everyone to run away, get out of town as quickly as possible, but its too late; she just barely manages to save her girlfriend/boytoys fiancee but everyone else dies in this massive explosion that just completely destroy a good chunk of the town. And then Feyre and her new gf have sex in the rubble, i think? Idk, and then after that they decide to travel a bit and live a quiet life and maybe try the whole entrepeneur thing somewhere far away from the town that feyre just exploded

and thats my pitch for an acotar au based on the hit tv show Dracula (2012)

#just for the record this is NOT me endorsing that show its bad #miscellaneous acotar thoughts

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autisticethanmorgan · 1 year

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How I would continue mbav in comic form

disney, teletoon, fresh tv, whoever the fuck owns the rights to this, please let me have them

LONG ASS POST WARNING

we are past the days of any further mbav television content, but you know what has a much lower production cost and would fill a specific niche? a comic/graphic novel continuation >:) Teen rating because pretty much anyone who was the target audience of mbav when it was airing is late teen or older and I want the characters actions to have more consequence, basically i want to injure my protagonists

I would pick up a month or two after the lucifractor explosion, establish the new status quo, we cant really do a continuation if they all died so Ill settle for injury and property damage, including putting out main man Ethan in a half magic/half head trauma induced coma! this is kind of a cheap story beat but i cant help it I love a coma and its a good opportunity for both sarah and benny to get a little bit darker and have some interesting character development, with the most important difference being that sarah basically gets through it and refuses to compromise her morals whereas benny is very lost without ethan being his moral compass and becomes more and more reckless with magic, eventually leading to him attempting a very risky spell to wake ethan up which does work but basically has sarah and his grandma like 'wtf is wrong with you'

meanwhile erica and rory are fucking around in the states bc this would be a very fun B plot for a while before they return, if youve read the comic crowded im thinking of that kind of vibe

so anyway ethan is back up and running now and everyone is kind of trying to get back to normal but its really hard and theres a lot of residual magic causing problems and making bennys magic more powerful, and its giving ethan basically constant migranes and really vague visions and horrifying dreams and all that good 'plauged with visions' stuff.

sarah and ethan have not gone on any more dates at this point so theyre not dating but they do have this kind of romantic aspect of their relationship and they basically havent talked about it since the explosion, kind of a silent understanding of like 'i love you and i dont really care that its platonic or romantic but i just understand whats happening in a way almost no one else can and Im here for you even if now just isnt the time for us'

benny is continuing to get more reckless and kind of vengeful with his magic use, testing his limits, using magic to get back and the people making snide comments in the halls, especially after ethan comes back to school, when your best friend is in a coma for two months you get kind of defensive about it I guess. If you’re not a bethan truther I’m sorry but Ethan can have two intense friendships that border on romantic, both of which are societally non conventional/acceptable. In fact he has to. It is so good narratively. but anyway at some point there is a particularly bad incident benny gets more vindictive than ever before and hurts this guy pretty badly till ethan is yelling at him to stop

at this point ethan and sarah and grandma are like 'uhhh benny is getting kinda intense' but they dont even know the half of it because secretly he learning magic that isnt in his book, researching on his own and making stuff up. the magic itself wants him to be getting stronger, its not like sentient but it does have kind of a self preservation instinct? like a power begets power type thing that magic users can very easily be driven mad by their own magic if theyre not careful or dont have another magic user telling them to touch grass.

i think benny can have unexamined mental repercussions due to his parents having either left him or died. as a treat. so when he get magic and suddenly he can control things he couldnt before yknow who can blame him for getting kind of lost, i personally would become insane. I havent really though about the specific of him devolving and mentally deteriorating. I dont want him to be too evil yknow? bc we will be letting him get redeemed latr bc im a sucker for that.

at this point erica and rory return from their wacky adventures bc this is no time for a silly b plot. and they are like huh benny got kind of weird and different and ethan is like haha no hes fine

he is not fine

he is actually sneaking out of town to meet another magic user who is basically like 'i will act like a father figure to gain your trust' and benny is like 'epic!' yknow because he. becuase. because he has no dad :D. he gets exposed to magic that grandma doesnt do and is both scared and impressed and this other magic user is like 'she doesnt want you to learn this >:| she doesnt want you to reach your fullest potential' and benny is like 'hmm idk about that' but they keep talking until this guy is like 'arent you tired of being nice?dont you just wanna go apeshit?' but benny is still like 'hmmm my really close boy best friend probably wouldnt like that' but its too late. its already in motion.

benny gets more evil. he is causing problems in whitechapel and does not seem to care. benny be like 'thought acquired: if i control everything and destroy the things i dont like then everything will be good and i can protect my friends forever. i see no moral problems with this' more development into evil, dont ask me the details i dont know.

bennys evil girl summer culminates in some kind of fight where ethan enters his mind bc yeah obviosly thats where this has been going, idk if ive just spent to long thinking about jean grey and scott summers but this is the most interesting thing ever. i want to see ethan walking through bennys memories end of life is strange style and realizing that all of his most important memories are of them together, times that theyve comforted or protected each other and it ends with a memory of from just before they met sarah. that memory fades out and ethan is standing on the street in front of his house, so he goes up to his room and benny is there but this time its really him and not just a memory version of him and benny is like 'i dont know how it got to be like this, this isnt what i wanted, how do i fix this?' and ethan is like 'i havent given up on you, you can still come back and we can try to make it right' and they hug and they come back to reality and benny basically breaks down sobbing yeah i <3 sad boys. he has a lot of regrets. ( i have written a lot of this scene bc i am insane and obsessed)

by the next morning hes left town. only leaving a note saying he needs to go away and clear the magic out of his head. hes reversed as much of the magic he did as he could, and left ethan with a spell leaving the words 'semper reveniam ad te' on his arm that will disappear when they see each other again or if benny dies.

#this is longer than the essay i was supposed to write tonight needed to be #mbav #my babysitter's a vampire #ethan morgan #benny weir #et al

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acreaturecalledgreed · 2 years

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@sweatandwoe

wheezes softly okay so monstery silco au thoughts

idk if i have a name for this au or not yet but i have a lot of loose scrambled ideas and Vibes and various atmospheric scenes floating in my head

ive no idea if any of this is quality and all i know about league lore is what i can glean from wikis and one very enthustiastic infodumping friend

i also just, really like subtle monster shit. this person is a monster but oh, they could so easily be human.

ahhh this is all just very. slapped togethor thoughts its not super coherent apologies

so bare with me

im rly fascinated with tahm kench and i know im not the only one and i see a Lot of ppl who like to associate him with silco in some way- wether silco worships him, made a deal with him, whatever, a lot ppl seem to like playing with the idea and theyre valid

to my understanding tahm kench isnt exactly limited in what he can appear as- of course theres the squat and charming catfishalligator man in his jaunty little hat but to my understanding he can take on other appareances? idk i recall reading this but i cant recall where to save my life so like for the sake of this au we’ll just assume he Can appear human if he wants to

we also know like nothing about silco’s childhood etc so im playing fast and loose

im never sure if im of the opinion that silco had shit parents or parents who tried their best but honestly its likely a little of column a a little of column b and im rambling too much and need to get to the point

in the context of this au sil’s mom had a mysterious but charming paramour who often made her promises of wealth and good fortune and one day he just sort of vanished from her life but not without leaving her pregnant

she successfully passed off the baby as her husband's by the sheer fortune that said baby seemed to resemble her and not her paramour in the least

paramour was, obvs a this point, tahm kench

my reasoning why for he did this in the first place is mostly that hes just fucking around for shiggles- theres other reasons but im a bit scatterbrained at the moment and words to explain are not coming to me so great

silco is largely the same as he is in canon- he’s not visibly inhuman in any way, and he doesnt act much different at all. though, i suppose, in the right light, teeth can look unnaturally sharp, eyes too solidly dark like nothing human should have, etc

but he’s prone to disassociative states and cravings for Meat ideally Very Fresh and Possibly Alive Meat and they’re worse when he’s in compromised emotional or physical states

his father left/died/whatever early on leaving him largely in the care of just his mother and while she did her best rumors inevitably spread of her weirdass half feral kid, his ill temper, his strange disposition, and the massive amount of meat he seems to require

stories that he was slowly eating her out of house and home

stories that he wouldnt stop even if the only flesh she had to provide was her own

eventually, she too was gone

i dont think sil actually hurt her or attacked her in any way, but one day it was just silco, alone, with no one else, and the rumor mill churns and youve got stories about some scrawny monster that killed and ate his own mother

he and vander do end up friends as in canon, i dont doubt b/c vander took pity on this weird guy with a bad, bad reputation but a relatively skittish (if bitey, hah) personality

like i said a lot of this au is just sort of various scenes playing out in my head- sil ends up attacking people occasionally and its a bloody fucking mess every time

hes a conniving, sneaky little schemer and any outright deals anyone makes with him always seem to fall in his favour

he has his skills, and he’s useful, and in his own way he’s a loving and devoted friend

he is still the deeply driven revolutionary we have in canon- he loves his home and his people but he’s harsh and not afraid to spill blood

the drowning incident occurs more or less the same but vander comes out of it with a lot more than just his arm wound- silco bites, and as it turns out under life or death circumstances he can be a lot less human than he’s always seemed

i dont think he knows he’s tahm kench’s offspring until the drowning incident, having some kind of “conversation” hallucination with the river king while under and learning of his parentage

ironically the shimmer he takes for his eye is a blessing- shimmer works as an appetite suppressant and as he gets older there are way, way less incidents

jinx knows her dad is weird and so does everyone working under him but for the most part its not a problem, yes the boss is fucking scary they all know this its nothing new

i think shit gets Real odd tho post-death

im not sure silco can be properly killed, not in a way that sticks right

his body gets dumped in the river and that should be the end of it, but i think perhaps there are strange sightings for years to come, mysterious disappearances of people who wander the shores alone

im playing with this ball of idea clay and having great fun with it, others can play too if they wanna

#arcane silco #silco arcane #silco #shrUGS LOUDLY??#idk its been a long time since i shared ideas openly with fandom and for whatever reason its got me crazy nervous

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that-one-weeb-but-starwars · 3 years

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Seeing Maul after All This Time

"Maul?" Y/n asked looking at the hooded figure, Ezra besides him as he looked back at Y/n.

"Y/n you know him?" Ezra asked.

"Ezra come here." Ezra did as told, Y/n stepping infront of him protectively.

"Y/n. It has been some time." Maul spoke walking around with the cane.

Y/n ignited one of her two sabers, the red blade crackling as she kept Ezra behind her.

"Your a sith lord Y/n?!" Ezra shouted.

"No! Ezra- we'll talk about this later."

"A shame really," Maul spoke, "We were once-"

"We were once," Y/n told him, "We are no longer, I tried to help you! I wanted you back Maul! You think I wanted you to throw yourself away?"

"You threw me away!" He argued.

"I would never and you know that! We could have left! Both of us!" Y/n defended, "both of us! Like we planned!"

Maul only growled at her pushing forward as the battle began, light flashing back and forth as they fought one another. Maul still trying to reach for Ezra but was kicked back, Y/n igniting her second saber which was green in color.

"Ezra! Run!" Y/n demanded force pushing him back and out of Mauls reach once again, as Ezra got up.

"I'll get Ashoka! And Kanan!"

"Just run!" Y/n demanded, Y/n being back up into a wall as she kneeded Maul in the gut him stumbling back as she spit into the corner of the room.

"I can do this all day." Y/n spoke.

"You can't hope to beat me! Not again!" He shouted.

"I do not hope but know! I will win!" Y/n responded.

Maul kicked her across the room as she crashed into the stone wall dropping one of her Sabers.

Dodging his hit it scored the wall as she rolled off to the side, she grabbed his wrist twisting it back as the saber turned off and soon fell out his hand.

"Stop this Maul!" Y/n demanded, pushing him back into the stone wall, her hand up as she kept him pushed into the wall with the force.

"I loved you once!" Y/n argued, "We were one! Why would you betray me!"

"I betray you!?" Maul spoke, "I never did!"

"You killed my friends Maul! You just attacked me!" Y/n argued, "you killed the only think I had to a sister. You killed Satine! Why!"

He was silent, "I asked you why!" She demanded, "You knew she was all I had. You knew I loved her! But you couldn't just submit could you! You had to have power! Broken power! When you could have just come to me I would have helped you!"

Y/n glared at him as she gritted her teeth dropping him to the ground falling to his knees and over.

"I once loved you." Y/n told him, as he looked up at her, "after all you did I still came looking for you, and you were going to use a innocent soul. I stop worrying about you, and stop loving to you today Maul."

She turned away from him using the force to make her second saber come to her, walking away and down the hall.

"No..." Maul called, "No! Y/n! Y/n! Come back! I was foolish! Come back to me!"

Y/n kept quiet as she left the temple the others running to her aid.

"Y/n!" Ezra spoke looking at her hopefully.

"I am okay Young one." Y/n responded, feeling a sense of relief rush over Ezra.

She smiled softly at his relief, a hand holding his cheek.

"None of us belong here anymore." Y/n spoke.

It was silent the rest of the way, Y/n knew what Maul knew, what he wanted he got, Ezra confused that much to her. She wasnt angery but knew it'd be Maul's demise. So there Y/n sat, in the bunk with Ezra.

"Are. Are you alright?" Ezra asked.

"I haven't been alright in some times Ezra." Y/n responded sitting on the floor attempting to meditate.

"Can. I ask you some questions?" Ezra asked.

"Sit with me then."

Ezra did as told, sitting infront of her as she opened her eyes, she was tired, heart broken, missing.

"I...did...we're you a sith."

"No." Y/n responded.

"Then the red saber."

"It was a gift." Y/n told him, "I was considering to be a sith...long ago."

"Because of Maul?"

Y/n nodded softly, "It was long ago, I-"

Ezra listened, "Me and him were in love, we pulled each other towards both sides...I..."

"But why him?"

"It is easier to show you than tell. Come." Y/n spoke as Ezra scooted closer, Y/n placing her hands on each side of his head, covering his temples as Y/n closed her eyes, Ezra following:

"Commander! Its going to blow!" Jesse shouted at the Jedi besides him, "Commander Y/n is still in there!"

"We have to leave! Now! Get the transports out of here!"

"But Commander!"

"Now!"

Y/n was getting everyone out, force pushing them down carefully to the ground.

"I have to check if anyones inside!"

"Commander no!"

"Go! Now!"

Y/n rushed back inside only seconds later the explosion going off. Y/n the only one inside as the others took cover as quick as possible. With the rubble falling down, she did as well. Being left crushed under some rocks for dead, her head bleeding, her ribs crushed, her spine brusied, she was dying a slow and painful death.

She was left there, no one did come and find her, she wasnt expecting it anyways, until later that day, the night had taken over the sky and she was passed out, swimming in her thoughts deep in her head and her own blood. Rocks pushed aside and body being lifted up Maul had picked her up in his arms walking away from the scene.

Waking up suddenly and in pain she looked around.

"So you've awaken."

Maul walked over to her Y/n backing up slightly as she winced backing into the wall.

Maul stopped in his spot. Y/n looking up at him as she then looked away.

"You know. Don't you?" Y/n asked.

"Its not everyday you see a night sister with markings such as yours."

"Get it right! I am not a night sister! I am a human being!" Y/n shouted immediately grabbing her chest in pain, "your...night sisters that...mother- she used me..."

"Fair point."

"It seems me and you have more in common than you think." Maul spoke, slidding a cup over to her with his foot.

"It will give your chest relief-"

Without hesitation she drank it immediately, she pulled away from the cup choking she had downed it so fast.

"I save you, and you go and die by choking."

"Why save me?"

"Why do anything anymore?"

Y/n pulled away from Ezra, the teen opening his eyes, "he saved you? But why?"

"I cant even answer that." Y/n responded, "but I repayed him later on, but he always tried to one up me, soon enough I fell for him, and it seemed him for me..."

Y/n panted heavily the two sitting against the control panels of the star cruiser that had just crashed.

"Damn." Y/n spoke, "we have to stop meeting like this."

Maul only chuckled, "we do indeed."

"I suppose we're each other's gaurdian angels." Y/n responsed rubbing her temples with one hand as they're chlothes were full of cuts and stains of dirt and blood fresh or dried.

"The more we saved each other the more we fell in love."

The two looked towards each other, Maul took the turn away first, but Y/n pulled his head back to look at her after grabbing one of his horns, forcing him into a kiss, he only returned it, deepining the kiss by turning his head and running a hand through her hair. Y/n pulled away.

"I figured saving you is starting to become boring payment for you saving me." Y/n responded..

"And within time.' Y/n spoke, "we were begging the other for them to come with us."

"Maul! Take my hand!" Y/n begged, "Your master does not care about you! Come! With me!"

Taking a step closer to him she finally reached arms length turning his saber off for him she let him keep hold of it.

"Don't do this Maul. They may not care but I do." Y/n tried to convince, "come with me please!"

"Y/n!"

"No! Anakin don't!"

"And as I pulled at him, he pulled at me." Y/n told Ezra.

"Take my hand!" Maul begged, "Y/n! Take my hand!"

Obi-Wan and Anakin stood there sabers in hand.

" Come with me!" Maul argued.

"Y/n! If you join him theres no telling what would happen!" Obi-Wan tried to convince.

"You turned on me! Why?" Y/n demanded, "I love you both and you turn on me!"

"Y/n this wasnt our choice!" Anakin spoke, "Y/n. I love you."

"Anakin!"

"Y/n! He lies!" Maul argued, "they both do!"

"Don't act like you dont either Obi-Wan!"

Obi wan sighed, "Y/n please, we care about you. Come back. We both care about you dearly!"

"At the end of the line. I was betrayed no matter which side I turned too." Y/n told Ezra, "I've been betrayed by every one."

"I'd never betray you." Ezra said, causing her to smile.

"You'd be a first." She spoke.

It was silent for only a few moments.

"Would you have left the republic for him if he left the Sepertist?" Ezra asked.

"Yes." Y/n responded without hesitation, "but things changed after he killed Satine."

"Satine?"

"The last Dutchess of Mandolore. She was like a sister."

"Im still confused. Your as angry as any other sith, but calm as a jedi. How are you doing it?"

"Im neither or." Y/n spoke, "i can't follow the Jedi code but I wont kill in anger."

Ezra was quiet, "Get some sleep young one." Y/n spoke.

Ezra did as told hoping up into his bunk as Y/n stayed on the floor meditating.

#star wars fanfiction #tcw maul #star wars reader insert #star wars rebels #darth maul #the clone wars #star wars: the clone wars #x reader

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t-underneaththeradardancing · 3 years

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ch-ch-changes

joke from ig t only knows 1 joke - wait - 3 actually - but only 1 that he tells well enuff to b funny

q how many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb

a 1 but it takes a long time - and the light bulb has to want to change

(insert laffter )

so new joke

q how many philosophers duz it take to change a light bulb ?

philosopher what do you mean by change ?

and believe it or not - a nutshell synopsis of my life connection lately - duz u believe in synchronicity - wait t - i think we jest cross the line by more than one toke and u aint smokin - from bad comedy - to awful not even - poetry guessing - and all things considered- an excellent morning like bill and ted’s adventure - if not fresh to deth like snoop it aint showtime - yet - gotta stay together imma here and now the speeker ( how many more x u gonna do that tired zen thing - only 1 but infinitely - and most ppl quit reedin at least a couple lines ago lol it happens its ok - old ppl tendz to repeat themselves and pls dont 4get the lazy ) but imma feel like guitar maybe - wait is this some kinda philosophy actually more jungian - no t dont venture - run dont walk away renee a 2fer into those uncharted awmost rote enchanted waters muddy af now we got a playlist and havent even picked up guitar yet - order of operations t - calm - u gulped caffeine and nowadaze it affects u - fukkity fuk oh well im laffing - im ok just maybe too aware thats all or as my acupuncture say “you got a lot going on “ and technically she dont know wat the 1/2 is but an eye lock and in terms of feelz no secrets locks off for a second - u gotta trust someone sticking u w painful needles and some points - if blocked - r always painful - sometimes just once more than bare emotion pain i tap out - a fresh needle - and- its over im sorry - we move on but fukkkk - and many i dont feel or barely - did u know im scared of needles - really - prolly - the only reason i lived thru the 80s - i tell her thinking good information - uh did we digress or wat

anyway a joke

funny and not really mean to anyone but imaginary philosophers - oh yah i was gonna write something about the cruelty of comedy - how gawd or goddess iz not a comedian but a trickster sometimes maybe but we - r human and our idea is flawed at best past the conception of love and we get soooooooooo fucked up on that subject sometimes - or iz that just me - asking for a frend in need - now im jest being funny like a trixter method actor and again at wurst self efface and u know idgaf about a lot of things - and

( ed hear - damn it contagious awmost included - any way - in everybodies best interest - t has left the building w the ghost of elvis on the astral plane with richman - should i have a contest for who gets the most references without a playlist - wait t stfu the joke pome whatever is ended i tell u - but wait theres more t calling picasso an .....)

#make it stop

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simple-ponderings · 4 years

Text

Universal Guidance- Pick a Card

Welcome back to another pick a card. This is one is mostly centered on where you are on your journey right now and the advice The Divine wants to relay to you. This time Ive done something different. Ive done some shufflemancy and added songs for you to listen for any additional messages. These messages may or may not resonate as its a general reading and thats ok. There are always messages being sent but they wont always be for you. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask God or whoever you feel a bond most strongly with, to help you choose a pile.

+++PLEASE READ! Before you go down to your reading, I wanted to say that the most prevalent theme happening for all groups is that you’re all going through significant change. The Death card and The Last Judgement card came out for all three readings. All of us are experiencing change in different ways. I believe this is something being Divinely orchestrated. Things that need to end and also come to fruition will come to pass, whether you are ready or not. Hang in there everyone. We will get through this.++++++

Pile 1:

While shuffling I saw and got the notion of a journey, or the beginning of one. Traveling. There were sperm whales, mermaid tails, deep sea. Traveling on a rocky mountain, like in LOTR. I also saw a volcano. There was a weird wooden gate, with black bolts that looked like the Dolce & Gabana logo.

Im getting the feeling of stubbornness. Almost as if there is something you know you need to be doing or not doing, and then you dont do it or do it anyway. The Death card was overall energy and then when I went to clarify Princess of Pentacles it came out again- quite quickly too. Is there an ending you are hesitant to release? Maybe it has to do with your habits, mindsets, aspects of yourself, or the people who have served their purpose in your spiritual journey. Regardless, something needs to come to close so that other cycles in your life-whether its having new friends, obtaining a new job, or learning something new, or anything, may begin. It can even be so simple as “The New You” emerging. Its like youre stuck in the past I think, with memories of someone or how you used to be, and now that that has been taken away youre kind of unsure of yourself and where to go. Maybe you feel a little ungrounded and not really confident?...Im really starting to get the feeling that this was a person you were dealing with, and they just couldnt really deliver. Its like being around them for so long has sucked you into weird environments that arent really in your best interests. I know this is a general reading but this is a feeling I cant shake, I apologize if this message does not resonate with you. If it doesnt resonate then it is not for you. This person, was most likely sent for your activation and transformation. Im sorry that its so unpleasant :(. You need to break free from this. Its like youve experienced both the really dark aspects, and now are coming to experience the really light aspects. I think this is what new cycle awaits you, but you are hesitant to let it because you’ve been exposed to that darkness for sometime. Maybe you even comfortable in it because it may be what you expect? This is just one stop on your journey, even though it feels as if it’ll stretch on and on and on. Give yourself time to grieve that which was lost. But remember you must get back up eventually, and begin building your new reality. You arent alone in this. You will soon leave the desolate rocky terrain and move into beautiful meadows filled with flowers. But its up to YOU to go out there and create your reality- your life, your legacy that makes you happy and is for your highest good. You are being pointed in the right direction, you are always being guided. Believe that for yourself no matter what others tell you, or no matter how things seem, or no matter what even you think. Dont let the negativity of others stop your abundance, your uniqueness, and most of all the beauty of your soul. There are some important things for you to consider: 777 and Volcanoes. Also you might wanna give the song “No Running Water” by The Flashbulb a listen for additional messages. Thank you for reading Feedback would be greatly appreciated!!

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Pile 2:

While shuffling, I saw an open path with wild grass on either side. The road was made of dirt. There was the word DATE written in red with other words. It looked like some sort of official document. I saw Space, and a blue light being. This pile felt a little dark, like some heavy energy but not too heavy- more like somberness.

I feel like theres this onset of spiritual power, but you may feel as if youre not ready for it or its too much. Or it could even be that you experience emotion very deeply. And so you kind of focus on the material and logical aspects of yourself, almost kind of “rejecting” that spiritual and emotional side. I think you have alot of spiritual gifts, but you dont want to go “too deep”. You are comfortable with seeing tangibility and are used to seeing whats right in front of you. But I believe the doors to the Unknown are being revealed to you. You see all these phenomena happening and you just “Observe” it kind of. Theres this feeling of not wanting to get too involved so you just keep your distance. By that I mean, you just watch and observe things and try to remain unaffected. Its almost as if you putting your spiritual self at arms length is your way of self-defense if that makes sense? Its like youre trying hard to cling to the old you, how you and your life used to be, before all THIS happened. What are you afraid of? Perhaps you are a person who wonders if there is any merit or tangible reward for diving deep and I think if you do decide to dive deep it will feel that way. “Whats the point of it all?” But its to help you embrace your Fire, your gifts so to speak. If you do decide to walk this path of spirituality and embracing yourself, getting comfortable with the unknown, I feel you will be a completely different person. A Complete Rebirth so to speak. And maybe you are scared of that. I think The Divine is trying to point you in this direction. It will get easier. As you begin to walk this path, things will become Clearer. And I feel you will feel so much more “In Tune” with The Divine or whoever you believe in. I see a link, essences intertwining. Whats meant to happen will happen. Fate. Be kind to yourself during this period. Make sure you take the time to ground yourself and even go outside and get a breath of fresh air. It will help clear your head and balance yourself. You are Loved no matter what. You arent alone, you can let your guard down. Important things to consider: Angel Number 66. Pay attention to how you feel, whether it be around others or the emotions you feel in general. I think being near bodies of water, or even moon gazing may help you. I even think carrying selenite around may be of help to you. Remember to take care of yourself mentally and physically! Keep yourself balanced. Also give “Severed” by The Flashbulb a listen for any additional messages. I hope you enjoyed this reading and feedback is always appreciated!

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Pile 3:

I felt bliss and happiness. I saw a plant growing. There is this feeling of building something thats here to stay.

Im thinking you guys went through hell and back despite that feeling of bliss I felt when shuffling. Overall theres a overarching theme of having everything in life be on track, but when it comes to love it seems that thats where you begin to run into problems. It could even just be relationships in general. Or rather everything is finally going right, but theres this feeling of something coming to “haunt” you. Something that you’ve thought was over with and finished but manages to come back into your life. I feel like you’ve been through some tough shit and have tried your damned best to make the situation better. Like you’ve broken free from some sort of attachment or restriction but there is still a lingering feeling of obligation, almost as if you still feel the need to give it your energy. Maybe things didnt end on the right foot. Maybe there were things left unsaid. There is a message of unfinished business. But this part of your life will soon be wrapping up. After this hurdle, something new will arise from it. An opportunity that will sprout its way into the physical world. Its very weird, theres this notion of finally seeing the light of day after being surrounded by the night. The first light of the Dawn. Its as if youre running a marathon and youve made it through all these obstacles to reach the finish line. Youre almost there, just a little more. This experience you went through, gave you the wisdom you needed to be where you are in life. It made you who are you are. You have gone through much transformation. Im really proud of you. But The Divine is saying you have to go through this for just a little longer. To Be who you were meant to Be. Understand that whatever happens, it is always within your power to decide how you want to act. You always have the power to choose differently. Always choose what feels right for you. Always choose what you know to be true. What has this journey taught you so far? What lessons have you learned? How have you changed? Use these teachings and apply them to your life and how you want to live. Important things for you to consider: 1010 is significant for you. I believe after this ordeal things will only get better for you. When you feel things are getting out of control or too much, take deep breaths and bring yourself back to the present- back to balance. Remember you are in control of how you respond, you always have a choice. Take it one step at a time too, its ok if you dont get it right away. We have the utmost patience and love for you. Also give “Home” by Brian Mcknight a listen as there may be additional messages for you. I hope you enjoyed this reading. I really hope I was able to offer you some clarity. Feedback is always appreciated!

#pick a pile #pick a card #tarotcommunity #tarotreading #pick a pile tarot #divination #pick a deck #shufflemancy

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fairycosmos · 4 years

Note

chloe what do you do when you feel really suicidal? but like not like before- but NOW that you are grieving such a painful loss? dont need to answer but i read your a. to the anon that felt trapped and like they couldnt leave now bc their sibling died too and like you and that anon i feel the same. im so so suicidal chloe. i cry every day and night and i feel despertate but my parents just lost their child so. how do you cope... as much as its possible. what do we do? fuck.

dude i am so sorry you're in the same position as me and you are going to hate me for saying it but there is no satisfactory answer 😔 it's a cruel joke. we're in the worst pain we've ever been in, and our instinct is to want to make that stop. but we can't because now we're obligated to stay alive, where all the hurt is, because we're one of the only ones left. and we dont want to cause more of this feeling by ending it all. it's like a contract you didn't agree to and are now trapped in for the foreseeable. grief is the absolute heaviest thing a person can carry, it's a fucking nightmare. it doesn't make any sense, it doesn't have a cure and it's disorienting as fuck. it's ok to be exhausted by it. reality has been irreparably worsened and it's an absolute tragedy, it's completely unfair. personally i'm more suicidal than i've ever been, but like you, i know i'm not going to do anything. and in moments of great pain, where i want to act on those thoughts, i find myself coming back to that fact. i watch the idea of suicide run its course through my head and then i acknowledge the reality of things, that i can't leave. that it doesn't matter how sad i am and how tired i am, because i'm still here, and processing these emotions is a part of that. the urge to kill myself is there, but the actual act of suicide has never been less of an option than it is right now. so i can feel whatever i need to feel, but there's no point leaning into it or daydreaming about it. because it's not going to happen. sometimes i'm screaming and crying to myself in absolute agony while this is all going on, and sometimes i'm just sitting staring at my phone, numb. the desperation is very real, and i understand that. but it is not as urgent as it feels in the moment. no matter how many times i think i'm at my limit, i know that there's going to be tomorrow. and at the moment that sounds like a really bad thing. but i know that by waking up my parents aren't getting a call saying i'm dead, which for now is kind of the whole point. i am living to minimize their trauma, i am living for them, and an optimist would have hope that that could keep me alive long enough until i get to the point where i can eventually live for myself again. i could definitely see that for your future, even if you can't. the thing is you don't have to know what to do and you dont have to look for ways to fill the void that has been left behind by your sibling. you just have to learn to exist alongside it, and i do mean just exist. as awful as it is. waking up, putting one foot in front of the other, crying and crying and crying. that is good enough. i know it doesn't feel like much of a life, but. it's the short term answer, or so it seems to me. another thing i remind myself of is how it all comes in waves. waves are the nature of both grief, and strong suicidal urges. maybe they're always running in the background, but the moments of pure despair where you feel like you're bursting at the seams, they're so strong and harsh that they flare out faster than you realize. and they feel unbearable, and i know those moments are very frequent when you're in our position, but it's good to remember that the intensity of their nature makes them temporary. especially if the grief is fresh, every little thing triggers an avalanche of hopelessness. but some part of me believes these experiences will either a. become less persistent with time or b. become a part of us we learn how to navigate. at the moment, the simple act of being completely broken by these episodes means you're surviving them. i think it's not a matter of knowing how to cope, but knowing that if you're here to ask these questions - what do i do, how do i go on, etc - then that is proof you have been coping. and it probably doesn't feel like you have been. i think there's a common misconception that coping is thriving, letting go, having positive memories. and sure that's a part of it. but there is a lot of darkness and absolute horror to work through before that. additionally, there is no rule book on how exactly to work through it. theres just time, experience, learning what works for you and hanging on. i'm trying to hold my own hand through it, i'm trying to look at the present moment i'm in and just think about what i need at that very second. not what i'm going to do tomorrow, not what i should've done yesterday, but what i have to do right now to make it through. a lot of the time the answer is nothing, and i just sit and stare or cry, because like i said, ultimately nothing can fix it. theres no epiphany that can change what happened.

as far as practical things you can to do combat suicidal thoughts goes, i have a few suggestions that i really hope you consider as viable choices: talk to your doctor/therapist - idk where you live or what your financial situation is like, but if it's at all an option i would really urge you to seek professional help. at least let your GP know what you're dealing with so maybe they can refer you to a therapist, or give you some mental health resources. grief counselling is also a step in the right direction. having someone to talk to and implementing positive coping mechanisms into your day to day life, even if it's the last thing on earth you want to do, can work wonders. understanding your own suicidal thoughts, why you react the way you do and what you can do about it, can really come in handy when you're breaking down. it's ok to reach out. it's ok to visit different counsellors until you find one that fits you. it's ok to treat your emotional turmoil as seriously as you'd treat any physical disease. there is always support and treatment options available in some form, and it is always worth looking into.

call a (grief or suicide) hotline - i've had the hotline number open in my browser for days. if you are in a moment of crisis, it can absolutely help to have someone talk you through your emotions, listen to your pain, and then give you some gentle recommendations as to what you should do next or where to go from here. you don't have to tell them your name, you don't have to say anything you don't want to say. you're in control of the call and they care about keeping you going. you're not alone. theres also online grief support groups - i'm in a sibling loss group on fb. it's absolutely crazy how many people are in this position.

talk to your parents/family/friends - i know saying 'this is a tough one' is a giant understatement. idk if it's the same for you, but i've been isolating to cope and i don't want to tell anyone what i'm thinking because they're already having such a hard time grieving my sister. but if there's anyone you trust, i just want you to know it's alright to lean on them. it's up to you how much you open up, but the urge to keep to yourself leads nowhere. those around you can relate (to an extent) with your grief, and sharing it, talking about memories and crying together - it's fucking awful, god it's the worst thing ever, but it's necessary. and i don't want to say it helps, but a shared burden is always better than trying to shoulder it alone. you deserve to be listened to and supported. and if you think you're being an inconvenience to your loved ones, that's your inner self hatred talking. they would likely rather be there for you when you need it, than have you harm yourself because you kept it all pent up. it's a lot easier said than done, but it's important to keep in mind that it's an option.

try to create a safe space - try to remove things from your living space you could use to harm yourself with, and make the environment as comforting as possible. refer back to safe coping mechanisms/ distractions that have worked in the past - this can be as simple as going for a walk, watching stupid shit on your phone, meditation, having a crying session, writing to your sibling or just about how you feel in general. these are not suggestions that will solve anything or cure mental illness by any stretch of the imagination. they just get you out of your head. that can really make a difference.

create a crisis plan and learn what triggers you - this is a bit of a process but that's alright. being able to identify what sets you off, and being able to recognize your own toxic thinking patterns/behaviours, is the first step towards combatting them. another idea is, if you do end up talking to a loved one or a mental health professional, come up with a plan with them regarding what they should do when you're suicidal and your judgement is impaired. you can even start by just making one for yourself, like writing down a few suggestions as to what you should do when you're in a crisis, what your other options besides suicide are.

i think that's all i've got right now. i'm sorry this got so long, especially when i know nothing truly helps. i just know what it's like having all this useless life in front of you that you're going to have to fight through without the one person who always should've been there. i keep thinking about what she'd say to me if she could see me, and i know she'd be livid if i threw my life away, but. that doesn't change the fact that she didn't get to live hers, and that i miss her so so much it aches. i keep coming back to the idea that our relationship will continue to grow beyond death. i can still talk to her, reminisce with her, understand her, love her. so much of this reality was shaped by her. it's not the same as when she was here, but it's not total absence either. anyway, i'm so so sorry for your loss and i hope you can just focus on taking care of yourself, love. because your life still has so much worth and you deserve to see your own future even if you cant stand the thought. moments of happiness and peace are still 100% possible. it's just never going to feel like it did before. and it's ok if you spend the rest of your life struggling to come to terms with that fact, because at least you got to live the rest of your life. i'm sending so much love to you and i'll be here if you need a friend. one day at a time.

*no pressure to read all this you can just refer back to it whenever you feel the need

#anon #tw suicide #long post #sorry i dont shut up💖 this 1 hurt

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babysizedfics · 4 years

Note

I need to know about doctor mama lo taking care of a sick baby Virgil if you would like pretty please. I dont wanna ask on the in character blog cuz I feel like it would be weird to ask for details and lo seems kinda busy anyway lol.

hey tumblebee!! yeah yeah lets do this, Im gonna write it so that ppl who dont follow the other blog can understand too

WARNING IF U HAVENT ALREADY BLOCKED THE TAGS ILLNESS TW AND VOMIT TW THEY ARE VERY PREVALENT IN THIS

also this is a VERY long headcanon!!

so last night vee got ill, he had been regressed in the afternoon with patton and he was acting much more fussy than usual - not being entertained by his cartoons, not having the energy to play with his rattle, pretty much constantly whining and pouting and he gets very wriggly when he's fussy

patton assumed it was because vee had been upset earlier that day. at one point vee started gripping his stomach, and patton assumed its because he was hungry and could smell the food roman was cooking

but when dinner came around no matter how hard patton tried he couldnt get vee to eat a morsel - he kept turning his head away from the food and whining. at one point patton and logan both managed to convince him to eat a spoonful but his face crumpled with a wince and it looked almost painful for him to swallow it. it was at this point logan noticed he had a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead

things fell into place quickly after that - logan checked his temperature and it was indeed slightly higher than was healthy, they noticed vee's hands were trembling and he was constantly on the verge of tears :(

while patton cleared away dinner and excused roman who wanted to go and craft in his room, logan took vee to his bedroom and tried to check for more symptoms, since vee was non verbal and unresponsive totheir questions. he tested his tummy by pushing it a little to see if the pain got worse when he released it (this is a test for appendicitis) but there was no reaction thankfully except vee being upset by logan not cuddling him. he checked his throat for any redness or infection, nothing.

vee's crying became more pronounced and eventually he was in constant tears, occassionally pleading 'mama mama' through sniffles and hiccups and whines of pain :(( Patton brought him a baby bottle of cooled tea made with fresh mint leaves since that is supposed to help stomach pains. though he left the room again since logan thought it was best not to crowd virgil. Vee's crying had dissipated but he was strangely silent and seemed almost loopy now. he only drank a little of the tea before he pushed it away with a gag.

logan immediately took him to the bathroom knowing what was coming, and sure enough vee threw up into the toilet, crying between gags. logan dutifully managed to keep vee in his lap the whole time and held his hair and rubbed his back, telling him he was such a good boy the whole time

Thankfully it didnt last long as there wasnt much in vees stomach to be emptied. he was shivering and sweating and flushed and had lost all energy. he wasnt even crying anymore, just whimpering under his breath. with a bit of a struggle logan managed to show him how to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash - though he had to hold vee over the sink and pat his back to make sure he didnt swallow it

during all of this patton wasnt able to help because of his heightened empathy, if he sees someone throwing up the likeihood is he will too and that wiuldnt be very helpful! so instead he drives to the store to pick up some medicine and ice pops - and comes back with half the store including some actual baby medicine smh - ((im actually begging u to read that linked post i think its so funny))

it was originallly meant to be logans night to put roman to bed but understandably patton took on that task instead. after roman was drifting off patton pokes his head into vee's room. he had hoped to find lo and vee asleep but they werent. they were lying in the dark with an in the night garden audio story playing on a portable speaker and with vees salt lamp and star night light lighting up the room in a soft glow.

logan offered a strained little smile and nod to patton as he stroked vee's hair and cuddled him close. vee was completely out of it honestly. his body was wholly lax against his mama, his lips were in a permanent pout and his eyes were puffy and wet. he barely even acknowledged his papa coming in, his teary eyes just settled on him for a moment then dropped back to the bedsheets without a reaction. he kept lifting his thumb up to suck on it but logan kept capturing it and apologising as he brought it away. Vee shouldnt suck on his thumb and logan doesnt want to give him a paci while he's ill. understandably, baby vee was completely miserable.

patton asks if logan thinks vee could handle a popsicle or plain crackers at the moment but logan disagrees. he doesnt expect either of them to get much sleep so he will make sure vee eats something in a few hours. with a gentle kiss on vee's forehead patton goes off to bed, confident that logan will be able to look after vee and will come get him if theres any issues

logan and vee really dont sleep much at all. Vee drifts off for a few minutes at a time then gasps awake from vivid fever dreams. logan keeps ice cubes in a bowl by the bed for vee to suck on if he needs to cool down and wraps a couple in a flannel to press to vee's head when his fever rises in the middle of the night.

around 3am logan jolts awake and realises he had drifted off. and vee isnt anywhere in the room. he panics momentarily, bolting up from the bed and dashing to the closet to see if virgil is in there - which he tends to do when he is overwhelmed - but then he hears sniffling from the bathroom.

he finds vee, no longer regressed, curled up against the side of the bathtub with his bangs clinging to his sweaty head. vee is the palest person logan knows but he looks positively grey at the moment

'can i help in any way?' he asks, aware that he doesnt need to baby talk at the moment but still eager to look after this bundle of miserableness

virgil just groans under his breath and clutches his knees to his chest. 'i.. i didnt know what to do with the..' he gestures vaguely to something on the floor

logan notices virgil, being not regressed anymore, had obviously wrestled off the diaper he had been changed into the night before and not known how to dispose of it

'its ok, ive got it' logan wraps it up in a bag and puts it in the trash can they have in the room for just this purpose

'sorry.. m stupid' virgil croaks

'You're not stupid.' logan says firmly as he washes his hands 'You're ill and probably delirious from the fever. it's alright virgil'

theres quiet for a bit longer, virge's head pressed against the porcelain edge of the bathtub likely in an attempt to cool his fever. logan stays there with him for a while just waiting. then suddenly virgil starts sobbing and buries his face in his hands.

'sweetheart, tell me whats wrong please' logan hurries to kneel beside him, lifting his hands away from his face. that wouldnt help the fever

'i dont feel well' virgil cries pathetically, tears rolling down his face.

logans heart breaks 'no, you dont. i'm sorry little one, i know its not nice'

at the nickname virgils thumb raises to his lips again, which logan hurriedly intercepts. 'i'll make you a deal, okay? you're allowed to use a pacifier, but you have to use the same one everyday until you are better. we will need to sterilise it every night too.'

vee sniffles and nods, then chokes 'm not a baby right now though'

'that doesnt matter. you dont need to be regressed to want one of your pacis, vee'

vee is unresponsive and starts scratching at his pyjama pants. logan gets a feeling he isnt saying something. then he notices virgil's pout is much more infantile than his adult ones. 'are you feeling little, baby?'

with a harsh shake of his head vee starts crying again. he whispers 'dont wanna be a b...' then cuts himself off and whimpers

logan cards his fingers through virgils damp bangs. he knows what virgils mind has jumped to. 'were you going to say you dont want to be a baby?' he lifts virgils chin up to look at him 'or that you dont want to be a burden?'

virgils pale lip wobbles 'same fing'

'no sweetheart, no no no,' logan sits on the tiles beside vee and pulls him into his lap. virgil goes willingly. logan rocks his baby as he says 'youre always always allowed to be a baby and its never ever going to upset your family. even if you're an adorable wonderful brave baby boy alllll of the time' he scribbles his finger on virgils rosy cheek and delights at the tiny smile it earns him. 'but especially when you're feeling yucky. you feel a bit yucky today dont you, little one?'

vee nods with a pout

'but yknow whats not yucky? softies and pacis and diapers and lots and lots of cuddles with mama' he holds virgil tighter to prove his point. vee sighs and drops his head to nuzzle against his mama's neck. logan feels he still has a slight fever. 'i know what might help you feel less yucky. does my sweet baby want a sweet ice pop?'

thankfully vee nods against his shoulder and grips tight onto his pyjama shirt, preparing for when logan lifts him up

he first makes sure to change vee into another diaper and even decides that he should wear one of mama's t-shirts as a light dress so he doesnt get as overheated by his pyjamas. at this point vee actually giggles for the first time pretty much all day as he feels the tshirt swish lazily around his legs. logan makes a mental note to observe whether little vee might want to try wearing dresses if the feeling sparks this much joy (at this point logan is unaware that vee has secretly been trying skirts and dresses in his room for months, and roman found out a few weeks ago, but vee isnt ready to tell the cgs yet)

by the time vee is in his diaper and mamas tshirt dress and has a paci and jiji clutched to his chest he is a lot calmer and happier. he's still very ill and exhausted and teary, but theres a tiny smile on his face instead of a pout. in the kitchen he picks a strawberry ice pop and it goes down well, logan convinces him to have a cracker too though vee is in such a young headspace by then that he is just sucking on it, which logan supposes is fine too

by the (real) morning vee is still regressed and has managed to have a couple hours undisturbed sleep. its not much but its better than nothing. logan didnt fare much better. by then vee misses his papa and asks for him and logan hands the responsibility over to papa patton, trustinf the other caregiver enough to catch up on a quick power nap himself

but yes, the main thing is vee thought being ill was a burden enough that he shouldnt be regressed too, but logan makes him see that its okay. vee is regressed pretty much the whole time he is ill over the next few days because its stressful and painful and its a lot easier to feel comforted when ur a baby

yeah! gosh that was long, theres probably a billion spelling mistakes! feel free to ask follow up Qs if i missed anything u wanted to know abt this event

#little/big concepts #illness tw #vomit tw #food mention #long post #asks #tumblebee the smol bean

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rogueshipagogo · 4 years

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ppl have been asking me my opinions on space channel 5 vr... and i guess since i bought a vr headset off craigslist just so i could play it and speedrun it before work the day it came out... i should talk abt it now... i dont rly think i’ll be able to separate it into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ things i think i’m just going to do a rambly stream of consciousness bc i have a headache... but i DO have good things to say abt this game... so st.... sta stay t tune d

right off the bat, the thing i appreciate most abt this game- i like that space channel 5 vr doesnt have cash grab vibes. i Do genuinely believe that they Wanted to make this game For the people who are still obsessed with it, and that they ultimately did what they set out to do when they intended to scale certain aspects of the series up conceptually to match the way the fandom perceives it nowadays. but like i’ve said before... i’m not going to Disagree with the very common conclusion that it Needed to be longer, or at Least more intricate plot-wise. one of my fun and fresh excuses for sc5vr being as short as it is is because you arent really supposed to be playing vr games for too long anyways, its really disorienting and kinda painful, but even that doesn’t account for why so much of the game that we got is a rehash of old settings, concepts, songs, and characters. [i dont even have a problem with reusing old songs, i just think the ones they chose ended up being misleading]

for example i think it makes sense that the first report is a remake of the first games first report on the surface, it’s meant to take you back to the way the first game felt and give you an idea of what it means that the games classic scenery can be rendered in actual high quality detail now [same with the recurrence of events like encountering the space pirates in the asteroid belt/the last battle against a villain being singing to it about what it’s done wrong], but i really thought, like, report 1 was going to end up being a simulated scenario for the benefit of lou and kee’s training... which i dont think ended up being the case??? i think they really did write ‘ok here you are in the first game’s setting again, fighting the old enemies again, because... :^) ok have fun playing report 2!’

and then whats report 2... you fight another old boss from the first game... but theres Still no clear villain or motivation for anything thats happening... and there wont be until like... basically the end of the game...

like, glitter is a really cute character, but its kind of underwhelming that shes just a random citizen who was kidnapped by an entity that we NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT... like part 1 was extremely notable for being about corporate greed and corruption, part 2 honestly wasnt that political in comparison but at least made you do a think wrt purge’s motivation and his methods, and this game just has a plot device that feels like it’ll do smth but then ends up not doing anything beyond what we already learned about it from the information on its character bio before the game was out. if it turns out that cell x is actually relevant again in a future entry in the franchise and they do have a more developed concept for what cell x Is in mind, i’ll do an entire backflip, but for now its just chalked up to being the result of More Space Hijinks that dont need to be explained

ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE ALLUSIONS TO CELL X BEING AN ENTITY THAT FEEDS OFF OF DANCE ENERGY... it had me thinking that there would have to be some New Method of fighting it off that didn’t just lend it more power in the process, but nah apparently just tacking on the disclaimer ‘*this dance energy is not for glitter’ is enough to turn it from smth it can consume for power into big attacks you can use to kill it... like honestly it sounds like im asking for a lot from a game that has Never made too much sense, but considering that in part 2 they could add details like ‘oh didnt you know purge can open pocket dimensions? ulala is capable of manifesting tangible dance energy and the only other person who can do that is purge???’, its not like they havent come up with weird new shit for dance energy to do within the plot before. they just didnt do it in this game fsr

like did anyone else think that cell x/glitter was going to be the result of tossing purge out into deep space and him encountering the sc5 universe’s equivalent of an eldritch alien creature, smth more bestial than morolians?? even if purge wasnt part of it, when you say ‘uh oh, this guy Eats this society’s only source of energy!!!’ i expect the stakes to get HIGH, and i want the ramifications of it to be kinda STARTLING, because blank wanted money and purge wanted to ritualistically end the world but something this near to an ecological disaster that would force an entire paradigm shift hasn’t occurred yet in the series?? its totally new!!! there’s a lot they could do with this but OH DONT WORRY ABOUT IT EVERYONE ulala knows how to make dance energy kill cell x instead of feed it she’s got this we’re good no need to investigate more into all that

i can’t explain why the game is like this. and i dont expect grounding to address it in any meaningful way either. i’m sure they’re Aware of these complaints by now- the game reviewing community has Not been kind to sc5vr specifically due to all of these shortcomings [i didnt even touch on the issues with motion sensing and how many of the games mechanics were removed in favor of smth presumably easier to program yet much less satisfying, like Secret Moves just being mini quicktime events and Turning Your Ratings Into Stars just being replaced with the standard Three Strikes You’re Out method of scoring], but the pr team still seems very enthusiastic abt the game and is still promising dlc and potentially even more games in the series after this one- heres hoping that they’ll at least take these grievances to heart and consider making the experience not only more accessible [aka it will... go back to being a rhythm game with controller input.... and not... an exclusive vr experience...], but also as immersive and detailed as the old games, with less reused plot beats. i can let some of it off the hook in this game simply because i’m aware that it began its life as a tech demo that was only supposed to be that initial first report from the first game But Happening All Around You!, but i Really dont think they could get away with doing this little to expand upon the groundwork set by the first two games again. not with the way people remember part 2 being such a vast upgrade from part 1... the bar had been set so high that this just felt like a huge backslide into something even sillier and harder to take seriously than part 1 before we had any idea what kind of staying power the franchise would have as a hallmark of sega’s quirky antics. like... this game is what i think space channel 5 looks like to people who don’t understand the appeal of the first two games. and that scares me

but i guess for the most part, aside from wishing they had done more to revitalize the setting and the lore of the sc5 universe itself, im kind of glad it didnt do a lot to change the existing storylines the characters have kinda forged for themselves- here i was stressing out that they would pull out some plot development that would utterly and drastically change the way we talked abt the series for the rest of time, but so little happened and so little was added to the bank of sc5 lore that we can kind of all just carry on as usual and keep having the same headcanons we always had.

BUT!!! there ARE a lot of cute little details here and there that make the experience feel wholesome and like i said not an utter cashgrab- like so many of the character profiles referencing previous games [all of the references to npcs in this game being relatives of the npcs of the last games made me lose it] and how often ulala changes her expressions up and looks right at you and talks to you. the new music they wrote for the game also all slaps and everyones redesigns [if they got a redesign... rip pudding] are stunning

one of the most important things they did in this game was give a nice sort of Update to every character.... for example explaining that ulala isn’t a rookie reporter any more like she was in the first 2 games, that she’s moved up to being in charge of training new channel 5 reporters, and that while pudding is still somewhat stuck on her rivalry with ulala her career isn’t stagnant either, she was just cast in a romcom series as the lead... which is really nice considering how in the past she was portrayed as somewhat of a loser with almost no remaining fans left from her idol years

and you knew i was going to bring up jaguar at some point HES ALL OVER THIS GAME AND IT LITERALLY MADE ME FEEL LIKE MY LIFE WAS WORTH POWERING THROUGH THESE LAST FEW YEARS AND ALSO LIKE IM A GENIUS FOR SPENDING SO LONG POSTING EVERY SINGLE DAY ‘NO REALLY, HE’S THE SECONDARY PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY, ITS ABOUT CHANNEL 5 AS A COMPANY AND THEIR IMPACT ON EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER ENCOUNTERED THEM AND THAT INCLUDES JAGUAR AS WELL AS ULALA HES INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT BC SHE WOULDNT BE ALIVE IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIM’ i feel like it’s really incredible how in this game he has genuinely nice energy and doesnt withhold praise from ulala just to be helpful in a mysterious way later and he like HAS FRIENDS now. like consider how he went from disgraced former ch5 employee who got mad every time he saw them, to kidnapped robot henchman kinda humbled by the fact that now the turns tabled and ulala had to rescue Him, and now 3 years later his bio is all about how he has a new tv show thats super popular and he has a new entourage of ladies who he considers his '’’’’’comrades’’’’’’’ within the station he founded??? AND AFTER 20 YEARS THEY WERE FINALLY ABLE TO GIVE HIS MODEL JUICY ASS CHEEKS??????????????? NO MORE PANCAKE BOOTY???? THE BOY HAD A GLOWUP AND NO I WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT

WHEN I SAY MEOW MATCH THE POSE MOTHERFUCKERS THIS BLONDE BASTARD GETS TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE HUNDRED STAGE BATTLE NOW TOO THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE SPACE PIRATES BAYBEE

#its almost 4 am. idk i will probably have more to say tomorrow. my head still hurts #the galaxy depends on my funky moves

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positive-lesbian-vibes · 5 years

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I recently found out that I'm a lesbian (I realized I don't like men at ALL) and I'm femme, but sometimes it bothers me that people might not know I'm a lesbian. Is there any way I can still be femme but dress in a way that Fellow Gays would be able to recognize me? (I realize that stereotypes don't matter- I'm just asking in case there's any advice you can give. If there's anything ignorant I said, please let me know, because I'm still pretty fresh to this. :) )

this is a thing! it’s called flagging, its dressing in a particular way in an attempt to signal to other wlw that you like women!

i can super relate, people never even entertain the idea that i might not be straight, and it can be hard to meet other women when you dont even come up on their radar

before i get any further, i should give a quick disclaimer: there is no one way to “look gay,” and you dont have to conform to any sort of fashion standard to be a part of the lesbian community. if you’re a lesbian, then congrats! you look like a lesbian! but sometimes other people don’t say it that way, which can be disappointing. so i get it. i’ve been there.

there is a lot of stuff online for flagging, but some basic things that a lot of women do to signal that they are into other women are very femme-friendly, although there are certainly ways to “look gayer” that might not suit your style

I have a “how to look gay” tag but knowing tumblr, i cant imagine any of my posts on it would come up with a search, so here are my hot tips!

some common (but sometimes used by straight girls) things would be:

a flannel, i prefer mens because they are softer and warmer, but tying it around your waist can be a nice femme touch, although i will layer with flannels too.

you can double-denim/canadian suit it up. one way i like to do this is with like a black denim pant and a loose denim shirt or jacket over the top of a t-shirt. if double denim is too tacky for you, splitting it up into two separate-looking denims can help. but theres nothing wrong with a tacky denim get up!

things like undercuts or sidecuts, with one section of your hair buzzed short. may not be your style, but definitely gets the message across if youre into it

asymmetrical piercings. i have a double cartilage in my left ear but nothing special on my right. i hear industrial bars are a big thing, too. nose rings can be pretty hit or miss, i tend to believe they are gayer than other people do imo. but i have a nose stud so... i guess i cant really talk

in the same vein, tattoos. this one is also pretty hit or miss, because there are PLENTY of straight people who like tattoos (tats are cool, who can blame them) but i always think twice when i see a girl with a sleeve or a shoulder tat.

less conventional makeup. it doesnt even have to be too out there, but maybe like, you just dont wear foundation, or only do lipstick, or go really bold with your brows. my first term at college i saw a girl with really bold brows, a couple face piercings, and a flannel, and i just. Knew she was into women

boots. they dont have to be combat boots. but combat boots are pretty gay. people usually say wlw dont wear heels, but i know some who do.

accessories. this is a big one. i know a lot of lgbt people who are big on the rainbows, like rainbow bracelets, earrings, headbands, belts, pins, buttons, etc. generally i feel a little too loud with big rainbows all over my body, but there are other options! i like the interlocking venus symbols as a lesbian symbol, as its a bit more subtle but also relatively recognizable. i have two interlocking venus symbol necklaces, and a hat with a little rainbow on it. some lesbians like the labrys from the labrys flag, but it doesnt really seem as recognizably gay to me

theres definitely a quirky kooky femme fashion niche that i (sadly) cant say im a part of, but a bunch of femmes like to dress kind of tacky. there’s a big joke about “tacky lesbian fashion” because lesbians can be known to wear some interesting combos, like crocs with a skirt, etc, but this can be dressed up, too. louder prints that might not be too appealing to the average straight man OR woman can be a subtle way to give off vibes

hats. the classic beanie. even in the year of our lord 2019, i know nary a straight girl who would dare don a beanie. its just so classically lesbian. but you can opt for a baseball cap or bandana, too. backwards hats? very gay. my belief is that this stems from the classic lesbian pastime, softball.

dyed hair. usually unconventional colors. this one can go both ways, too. pastels tend to be “less gay” but that doesnt mean there arent lesbians out there rocking some pastel pink hair. streaks or an ombre of a bright or non-natural hair color give off vibes. the ends of my hair have been purple on an off since i was a freshman in high school.

the way you carry yourself. this one isnt a way of dressing, yeah, but it can be just as effective. my gaydar tends to go more off behavior/body language than appearance. it obviously isnt 100% (none of flagging ever is) and takes some practice, but I’ve generally been pretty good at figuring out if someone is gay from interacting with them. it isnt instant, takes practice, and can easily be wrong, but its usually my method of choice. unfortunately, this method almost NEVER gets the point across the straight people, who tend to think if you have long hair then there’s no WAY you could be a lesbian. body language to look out for: not sitting in chairs properly (a meme that reflects reality) like “manspreading” but as a woman, generally more confidence/self-assuredness, focusing more on women, being less “meek” and more “aggressive” with taking up space, accommodating for women’s comfort but not for mens, disregard of the male gaze, that sort of thing.

lastly, all of these things are just suggestions of how to “look gayer” based off stereotypes, some of which were played up by the lesbian community in an attempt to find each other. you dont have to change how you dress, act, look, or anything else to be a real lesbian or to “look” like a lesbian, because there is no one “thing” that lesbians look like. some of us dress to stereotypes, and some of us dont, but we are all lesbians at the end of the day, dressing and looking the way you feel most comfortable should be the goal. if that includes some things on this list, great! if not, thats fine too! you don’t have to do everything. just the stuff you feel good about

#how to look gay #long post #anonymous #ask

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genderfreezone · 5 years

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Do you like the Evil Within 2?

Yeah! Certainly not as much as the first one (i was not immune to being sad they left out fan favorites Jojo and Ruvik's Cube)

The rest of this post is me rambling about things i didnt like about the game, and then things i did like (most of my issues are how they treat the female characters tbh)

Its missing kind of the action-noir-gone-horrifically-wrong feel of the first game. The scare factor also suffers bc our player character has been through this before, hes a veteran at dealing with this crazy shit, it doesnt phase him anymore and by extension it doesnt phase the player. They really like tripled down on the Evil Corporation thing and both the intrigue and horror suffer for it.

This game did not drink its respect women juice (the first one didnt really either, case in point: Everything About Kidman) Sebastian is surrounded by 5+ female characters and only 2 of them survive (and one of them is his 7 year old daughter hes spent the whole game trying to rescue... and yet they never bothered to give her any kind of characterization or agency. A highly empathetic and supernaturally powerful little girl in a monster-infested hellscape?? HELLO???? Lily really had the potential to be the most interesting, sympathetic, and complex character--especially as she slowly lost her innocence--in the WHOLE GAME, but she was just sort of relegated to Plot Device McGuffin) The rest of the female supporting cast are killed off for Sebastian's Man Pain. In fact, THIS ENTIRE GAME IS CENTERED AROUND SEBASTIAN'S MAN PAIN. Torrez is a walking stereotype, shes literally just Vasquez from Aliens. Hoffman was the most likeable and believeable, except when it Turns Out She Was In Love With Liam Or Whatever (psst, guess what, i dont care. Also O'neal was kind of a dick anyway? I dont care x2)

And you know who i SUPER dont care about? Bland-White-Bread-And-Mayo-Sandwich Myra. Where's the no-nonsense firecracker of a police lieutenant Sebastian married? Not here, thats for sure. Her entire personality is "mother" and "worries about stressed-out husband". We got more characterization of Myra in seb's jornals from the first game, where she never even made a physical appearance! Horror media does this SO MUCH, women are either A. Sexy Lamp B. Hurts Men (Sexily) C. Mother or D. Innocent Virgin. It sucks. Do better.

The story lacked the "digging up old buried memories" and "theres more to this than meets the eye" of the first game. It felt too...... Straightforward. Everyone told Sebastian the truth. EVERYTHING WAS EXACTLY WHAT IT SEEMED. It all felt too simple, too easy, like there SHOULDVE been something else beneath the surface. And yet there wasnt. (I watched markipliers playthrough and i loved his theory that Kidman was actually Lily. It had such potential. Kidman's entire resume for the police station was fabricated, who's to say the rest of her past wasnt fabricated as well? It would retcon a lot of stuff and like 80% of her backstory from the DLC, but you know games like this arent above retconning important shit, and at least it wouldve been sacrificed for something with actual intrigue. Maybe it wouldnt even retcon anything! Consider: tiny Lily is taken by Evil Corporation and dropped off in a non-nurturing environment that would lead her to become the kind of person who would willingly join & work for an organization like Mobius. At least wouldve been a nice excuse for why Kidman and Lilys face models looked so similar... other than... yknow.... "WomEN ARe hArD tO DRaWwwwwee")

Okay okay ive been ranting for long enough. It probably makes it sound like i kinda hate this game, but i dont! It certainly doesnt hold the same place in my heart as the first one (which i still have very glaring issues with lmao Kidman deserved WAAAAAAY better), but i do like it! It brings back salty, grizzled, tsundere Sebastian Castinellos. It brings back spooky monsters that kill you dead. It brings back having a fun theatrical over-the-top villain who takes himself a litte too seriously.

I love Stefano. Probably not in the way some other fans do, but i love him as a ridiculous theatrical over-the-top villain. He sucks! And i love that he sucks! I love him BECAUSE he sucks! Hes terrible and exaggerated and completely up his own ass and ITS GREAT. He isnt as ACTUALLY THREATENING as Ruvik was (even in his bad assassin's creed cosplay. I could go on and on and on about why Ruvik is simultaneously a ridiculous AND frightening antagonist and how much i love it but uh..... maybe later) but hes such a FUN villain! Hes the kind of pretentious art snob shitheel i cannot STAND irl, but in this game i LOVE to HATE him. Hes just SO over-the-top you kinda wonder if he actually subscribes to the pretentiousness he spouts, or if hes just being Exceptionally Extra.

The other villains? Theodore was.... forgettable. His monsters were forgettable. (Its like how i completely forgot that Frank Manera was a character in Whistleblower for like... 5 years lmao i guess this game also kinda followed that "having multiple named/characterized antagonists in one game" thing that Outlast did) Myra, i just didnt care. Her final design was kinda cool, i liked the red clusters of insect eyes. Her monsters werent really gross enough to be memorable. The only reson theyre gross at all is bc they kinda look like theyre made of semen. (I checked the wiki and apparently Myra's white goo is "psychoplasm" and her monsters lost 99% of their gross factor. I just dont care.) The Administrator literally just looked like a 3D human model of Maxwell from dont starve, and i have to laugh every time i see him. Hes not terribly threatening, all he does is threaten characters to work faster and doesnt actually follow through on those threats. He doesnt even make fun threats like HABIT or anything. He thinks hes so powerful and ominous that his mere presence will frighten the player but hes just kinda all bark and no bite. Hes The Big Bad Company Man so you know hes gonna get whats coming to him, and you know Kidmans gonna be the one to do it to him, so hes not even that much of a threat. Hes whatever.

Stefano definitely got all of the coolest monsters. Many Arms Buzzsaw Lady was terrifying and i love her. And OBSCURA was just *Chef's Kiss* Anima was cool, she kinda looked like a mix of Laura and Samara. The Harbingers were neat, but really only bc ive got a thing for gas masks. The rest of the monsters werent really unique or weighty/threatening enough to be memorable. Now the first game is a fucking TREASURE TROVE of unique monsters *muah* you got Sadist, Sentinel, Keeper, Amalgam, Heresy, Laura, Shigyo, the Twins, Alter Egos, and im probably forgetting some!! But holy FUCK!!!!! And if we're includong the DLC?? MOTHER FUCKING SHADE. SPOTLIGHT LADY. LIGHT WOMAN. SEXY LEGS. Whatever you call her, i fucking love her. Her design is so simple. Helmet. Sheet. Legs. Her voice? Unnerving as hell. Love it. (Also i just personally love the diving helmet. Also like you know how a lot of games have a spotlight mechanic where you have to avoid the light and if it lands on you, you're fucked? LET'S MAKE AN ENTIRE MONSTER OUT OF THAT. She's PERFECT.) Oh and also those weird crawling exploding dudes. They made gross sounds and it was great. (Tbh Keepers still probably my favorite, if only for horny reasons)

TATIANA HOW HAVE I NOT FUCKING TALKED ABOUT TATIANA. Shes like the ONE female character that i fucking LOVE in the sequel. I love how they finally gave her a personality, and that personality is literally just "fuck you, Sebastian" Oh GOD its great shes SO FUNNY. I just.... god i love Tatiana lmao. I love how she makes you kinda uncomfortable too, like she knows something, but she wont tell you bc youre stupid. I didn't like the kind of "all-knowing guide" thing they did to try and make her creepy (like she's a "guide" but then also turns around and is like "no i wont tell you what you need to know bc you """have to discover it on your own""" or whatever") it serves no purpose since she never gave you any actual information, and it didn't succeed in making her creepier, all it did was frustrate me. She was at her creepiest when she IMPLIED she was doing something behind the scenes or knew something you didn't know and then didn't elaborate (not REFUSING to elaborate, just... stopping talking and leaving the statement to hang in the air, like the "getting her nails done" and "its been a long time, detective" and the "now what makes you say that" from the first game) and she was at her funniest when she was interacting with Sebastian from the sidelines, her snide little comments and sarcastic clapping cracked me the fuck up. Tatiana not treating Sebastian seriously was a fantastic touch for a game that otherwise would probably take itself so seriously it would double back around to being silly. Without Tatiana, it would've been just another male-centric gun-toting "survival horror" game, and for the most part, it was just that. She was definitely a much-needed source of slightly derisive comedy and a definite high-point for me, even if they didn't so a great job of making her creepy or fulfilling her "purpose."

Oh I also really love the COLORS in TEW2. The first game fell into the trap of having the colors be totally washed out that a lot of horror stuff does, but it also kind of worked for it. Especially with the color pallette of our main villain and how the whole thing was His World. The saturation of the colors in the second game is a breath of fresh air and gorgeous to look at, and you can even see the color motifs of the game change with each new villain: the game starts out with Stephano has lots of blues and purples and dark reds, when Theodore takes over we get bright orange and yellow contrasted with black and brown, and in the climax with Myra the game goes back to having washed out colors and white (and with her villain design? Let's face it: they were kinda just trying to do Ruvik again) We did get portions that were still kind of wahed out whites and greens and greys, but it wasnt the ENTIRE game, even the big blood-and-brains splatterhouse sections of the first game kinda had their colors weirdly muted for that "Horror Aethetic."

In conclusion, i do like the evil within 2, but i also had a lot of problems with it. And i complain about these problems because i like the game and know it couldve done better, tried harder, and been a LOT more than it was (the wasted character potential is my real overarching pet peeve, probably becuase i loved the characters in the first game, and character development is kind of my whole jam) . But all in all, it was still a fun monster-zombie romp with at least one entertaining villain and fun-to-look-at designs and environments. It wasn't character or horror or even REALLY story driven in the way I know it COULDVE been, but i still had a fun time and enjoyed myself.

#long post #875asks #anonymous #the evil within 2 #i couldnt put a readmore on a mobile post so you all have to suffer with me #my paragraph about stefano got cut out so i put it back in lol

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otheroutlandertales · 5 years

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A/N: This story was inspired by Brianna showing off her shooting skills with Jamie in The Birds and the Bees.

“I used to go barefoot all the time when I was little. Daddy—Frank—took us to the mountains every summer, to the White Mountains or the Adirondacks. After a week, the bottoms of my feet were like leather; I could have walked on hot coals and not felt a thing.”

-----------

“Daddy—Frank—taught me to shoot when I was eleven or twelve. He gave me a twenty-two when I was thirteen, and by the time I was fifteen, he was taking me to shoot clay pigeons at ranges, or to hunt doves and quail on weekends in the fall.” Roger glanced at her in interest. “I thought Jamie’d taught you; I’d no idea Frank Randall was such a sportsman.” “Well,” she said slowly. “I don’t know that he was.

The Fiery Cross (Chapter 20)

Meant to Be

by @futurelounging

It was easy, in the beginning, to hold his daughter in his heart as his own. As if his blood truly mingled with hers. Her skin was smooth and pale, freckles dusting her nose. Her tiny fingers wrapped around his thumb and squeezed. He could lift her with her fingers gripping his, hanging like a monkey from a tree. Her hair, though nothing like his own or his wife’s, was only a minor irritation, and only if remarked upon. For he found the image of her was simply her. Her face as familiar to him as his own, until the lines and shape of her no longer felt distinct from her essence.

She toddled and fell, scraped her nose, bruised her knees, drooled on his shoulder while she gnawed with her gums like a puppy. She threw her small body from chairs, trusting he’d reach out and grab her at the last second. Being a child, he thought, was about doing without consideration, letting your body learn the consequences. Being an adult inverted it, the consequences ever etched in one’s vision, until doing felt impossible.

He had not expected to think about her quite so much. When he’d imagined fatherhood before Claire had gone, he’d pictured waving goodbye to his wife and child in the morning, going about the business of his day, then later, when his work was finished, conjuring them in his mind as he ventured home. But his daughter was not so easily dismissed. She invaded his thoughts throughout his days, appearing in the bit of cereal crusted on his trouser leg, in the tiny orphaned sock he found at the bottom of his briefcase. She must have pulled it off and tossed it in there last night, he’d think. And she appeared in the corners of his mind always, as he watched the students walking with oblivious confidence, imagining her grown and barreling through these halls.

As she grew older, his fantasy of her being merely his faded. It wasn’t so much that she was physically resembling the mysterious man who shared her DNA. It was in her manner, a presence, a confidence that felt entirely different from his own or Claire’s. The tilt of her head and the hum of her thoughts as she contemplated a problem. How could blood be so strong, he wondered.

This change spurred him to pull her closer, to leave his imprint in some way. His suggestion to begin spending a week in the mountains each year might have seemed deliberate in hindsight, but in truth, it was a whim in the beginning.

“The Adirondacks?” Claire looked up from the journal she had folded over on her lap. Her hair had loosened from the pins and had begun to fall across her brow as she read. She pushed it back behind her ear with a sigh of exasperation.

“I thought perhaps you’d like some time away from the city, but if you’re too pressed with work I can go alone with Bree.” Frank pushed his glasses higher on his nose and glanced at her.

“No, I… No, that sounds wonderful! It’s been so long since I’ve gone anywhere.” The strain that normally pulled on her face began to loosen and a smile tugged at her lips.

“Work won’t be an issue?” Frank asked dubiously.

Claire’s brow furrowed, her lips pursing. “How long?”

“A week.”

“Hm. Well, I don’t know if I can do a full week at the moment, but at least a few days. Perhaps I could drive separately so you and Bree can stay a bit longer.”

He’d not expected such an enthusiastic response from her. He knew she adored nature and longed for time away, but still, time with him didn’t seem a good selling point. While he was relieved that she was receptive, he felt a pang of guilt for how pleased he was to hear that she’d not be with them the entire time. He cherished his alone time with Bree and if he were to examine his feelings a bit deeper, he’d find that he worried Claire’s presence would somehow resurrect the other man, the one who seemed intent on haunting them.

“Why would this man let us stay in his cabin, Daddy?” Bree asked as the car rattled over the bumps in the narrow road snaking through thick forest. Claire’s car followed close behind and Frank glanced in the rearview to make sure she didn’t blow a tire on the rocks.

“Why?” he laughed. “Well I daresay he considers me a friend, darling. Is it so hard to believe I might have friends who want to do nice things for me?”

Bree snickered from the seat next to him. “No! It just seems like lending someone a house is a bit more than lending someone your… power saw.”

“Well then, my dear, that is my challenge for you. Become the sort of person who is offered houses rather than… hand mixers.” He smiled widely at her, tightening his grip on the steering wheel at a particularly deep pothole.

“I’d rather be offered a power saw over a hand mixer, if those are my options.” She smirked and winked at him. Or, more accurately, blinked. She had not yet mastered the art of winking just one eye and instead blinked with a slight dip of her head, something he found utterly charming.

“Here we are,” Frank said, leaning forward to see the cabin as he pulled the car to a stop at the top of the drive.

Frank and Claire unloaded the cars and gave up trying to get Bree to help as she ran through the cabin chattering about how perfect it all was, especially the screened sleeping room off the back. She bolted out the door, leaping over a steel wash basin, her voice swallowed by the forest.

The cabin was small, but modern enough that they had running water, a wood stove for heat, and a bathroom. Frank’s shoulders relaxed as he dropped a stack of shirts in the dresser drawer. The place was a bit musty, so he pushed open a few windows and ventured back toward the kitchen where he’d left Claire to organize. He found her standing at a window, looking out through the trees, her eyes seeing something else. He hadn’t seen that distant look in a long time and felt a panic rise in him. He couldn’t let her slip away now. He couldn’t pretend what they had was ideal, but if she let herself drown in her past, she’d be lost not just to him, but to Bree as well. That fear gnawed at him.

“Shall we go for a hike? Stretch our legs and get the lay of the land? Bob said there’s a creek a half mile or so away. Good for fishing.”

“Hm?” She turned to him, eyes slowly refocusing. “Yes, let me find a basket.”

The trail to the creek was well worn, but the summer had been wet and new growth began to crowd the edges, pushing tiny branches and brambles into their path. Frank made a note to bring the hatchet next time to clear some of it away. Once settled in with their fishing rods, feet propped on smooth stones along the edge of the water, Claire began wandering, crouching now and then and dropping herbs into the basket hanging from her arm. Bree lost interest in staring at the water with Frank and joined her mother.

“What are you going to do with these, Mama? Are we eating them? They don’t look very good.”

“Ha! No, I suppose they aren’t all that appetizing. I might use some in our food this week, this thyme for instance. But some I will take back with me to the hospital.”

Bree looked at her mother as if she’d spoken another language. “Why?”

“Well, some herbs have healing properties, settling stomachs, soothing pain, all sorts of things. I like to have options.” She spoke matter-of-factly, but her smile was nervous, having been on the receiving end of suspicious looks from her colleagues when introducing herbs to her treatment plans.

“Did you learn about them in medical school?” Bree asked.

“Hmm, no. No, I had read some books before I went to medical school and… Well, I spent some time using more natural… remedies.” Claire’s voice trailed off, catching her words before they shattered the walls she’d built to keep the past at bay.

“‘Learn by doing.’ My biology teacher says that all the time.” Bree added a handful of yarrow to the basket and brushed her hands on her pant legs.

“Books cannot always prepare you for the reality of things. That is very true.” Claire leaned forward and kissed the top of her daughter’s head, pulling a leaf from her curls.

The days at the cabin were long and peaceful. The fresh air and exercise knocked them all out cold before the sun fell below the horizon. Bree woke on the fourth day and found her mother setting her bag on the front porch.

“Do you really have to go?”

Claire turned back to her daughter, a sad smile on her face. “I do. I’m sorry, dear. But I’ll see you in three days. And you will have a wonderful time with your father. Although you are in charge of extracting any splinters he gets now. Think you can manage?”

“Ugh no! I hate splinters. Daddy will have to live with them. I think I’ll pass out if I have to pull any out,” she said, half-joking.

Claire kissed her daughter goodbye and slipped away before Frank woke.

After breakfast, Brianna washed the dishes and went outside to find Frank. He wasn’t out front chopping wood where she’d expected him, but rather behind the cabin, about twenty yards into the woods. He held a rifle at his side, and Brianna’s eyes went wide.

“Bree. Come here.”

“Really?” she asked, disbelief shadowing her face.

A conspiratorial smile answered her.

“You’re going to teach me how to shoot?” she asked when she reached his side.

“Well, yes. I was thinking, Bree, about what you said in the car. That you are not the kind who will be pleased to borrow a hand mixer. You get that from your mother, I think. But you are bright and meticulous and determined, which are all good qualities for a marksman. Or markswoman, as it were. And based on your glee this week, I suspect you may find yourself living in the woods someday so this skill might come in handy.”

She grinned back at him, bright and eager, and his heart swelled with pride. So much of his life as her father was lost to the mundanity of existence, the unrecognized coming and going, the tiny steps that led to big leaps with little to remark upon if only because it was merely part of life. But in this moment he felt the gentle nudge of time, that he, and she, would look back on this memory, distinct and pivotal. That when she thought of him years from now, after he was long gone, she might think of learning to shoot with him in the woods.

It was not deliberate. He did not know when he taught her to shoot that she truly would find herself living in the woods someday. But he did consider, later when he found proof of his wife’s return to the past, that perhaps there had been some subconscious truth behind it all, that he was meant to take her shooting in the woods. That he was meant to come to America. That Claire had to go through the stones and return to him. That it all was meant to be.

#outlander fanfiction #otheroutlandertales #mod fulo #pair: frank x claire #ch: bree #ch: frank #ch: claire #canon compliant #missing moment #oot #*

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thethespacecoyote · 5 years

Text

A little late, but here’s Day 4 for @kyluxromanceweek with “Secret Crush.” More office AUs, because why not.

Hux can’t help but scowl when he returns to his cubicle, fresh cup of coffee in hand, to find a little wrapped box sitting just in front of his keyboard.

He narrows his eyes at it, as if his stare could wither the sparkly red bow sitting innocently atop the shiny golden paper. It’s not the first strange gift he’s received in the past few weeks, and honestly? They’re starting to wear on his nerves.

He growls as he sets his steaming coffee cup on the desk and picks up the box, looking down his nose at it as he turns it over in his hands. Of course there’s no tag. Whoever is doing this clearly doesn’t want to be found out.

Hux shakes the gift, considering just dumping it in the trash and forgetting about it altogether, but instead he pulls at the red bow and slips it off before tearing into the paper. Beneath he finds a silky red box, a name Hux recognizes from the high-end grocery store he occasionally frequents scrawled in gold on top. He pries open the lid and wrinkles his nose at the fancy chocolates nestled inside—the kind of heavy, indulgent sweets that Hux hardly partook in. He scowls and stuffs them into his laptop bag, trying to put the gift far from his mind so he could get the afternoon’s work done.

Whoever thought it funny to play such a joke wasn’t going to get a rise out of Hux that easily.

The following day Hux returns from a trip to the bathroom to find a single rose, lovingly wrapped in red ribbon, siting in his mesh pencil holder. Hux frowns, plucking the rose out and peering around the wall of his cubicle to where Phasma sits at her desk, phone cradled against her shoulder. She shoots Hux a quizzical look, signing off from the call and setting it back in its cradle.

“What is it?”

“Did you see who left this?” He brandishes the rose at her, eyebrows furrowed. She glances at the rose for a moment, before smirking.

“You got an admirer?”

“Of course not,” Hux hisses, shaking the stupid flower. “Someone is obviously trying to make a joke out of me. Make me look like some kind of lovesick fool.”

Phasma laughs, turning around in her chair to face him.

“You know, most people would be happy to get free gifts, even if it was from a stranger.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Lighten up a little.”

Hux scowls, folding his arms.

“I’ll ‘lighten up’ as soon as I figure out who is doing this. I want you to keep your eyes and ears open next time I leave my desk, see if whoever they are shows themselves.”

“Yes sir,” Phasma taunts as he storms back to his cubicle, stuffing the rose in one of his drawers before getting back to work. He gets up to grab coffee , but to his surprise and slight disappointment no new gifts grace his desk, and Phasma tells him she didn’t notice anything.

When Hux comes to work early the next morning, there’s a massive bouquet of roses sitting daringly in his chair.

The gifts only grow more extravagant as the days go on. A little gift bag filled with delicate macarons and rolls of fruit pastilles. More flowers, this time a striking bunch of black lilies. A half-sized bottle of Prosecco. A small porcelain figure of a cat—which, despite himself, Hux actually likes, and sits on the little shelf above his computer as soon as he unwraps it.

And still he’s been unable to figure out who’s responsible, or why they’re doing it.

He’s sure it must be a prank, but there’s no one in the office he believes would go to such lengths. These kind of gifts are expensive, nothing even the most dedicated would throw away on some silly joke.

Then why?

Periodically he considers Phasma’s suggestion, that he has a true admirer—but he isn’t exactly well-liked among his coworkers. He’s more than competent in his work but rather cold when it comes to socializing, not interested in gossip or debate with the rest of the office. Hux is the type to keep his personal life far removed from his professional life, disinterested in indulging his colleagues’ incessant need for small-talk.

He can’t imagine any of them wanting to become—romantically involved with him.

So maybe it really is a joke at his expense. Perhaps the entire office pooled their funds together, just to lead Hux on, make him believe anyone could ever be interested in him. Maybe they were just waiting for him to fall for it, so they could

Honestly, Hux can’t wait for the weekend, where he might be free of all this nonsense for two blissful days. He checks his watch as he returns from his lunch break, hoping the next few hours will fly by, so he can spend his time in the solitude of his apartment with his cat and favorite books.

But as Hux approaches his cubicle he stops dead in his tracks, lips parting in surprise at what he sees—not another bouquet of roses nor box of chocolates, but a besuited man with long, dark hair barely tamed back against his head.

Hux recognizes him instantly.

Ren, one of the upper managers that Hux rarely even saw in his department, though he certainly heard plenty of rumors about the man. He apparently came from a wealthy family, and Hux has heard grumblings that may have influenced his appointment. From the few times Hux has encountered him, he seems a touch too changeable for such a position, but otherwise he’d never given the man much thought.

Until now, when he notices the wrapped box in Ren’s hand, topped with the same kind of red ribbon as all the other gifts Hux has received.

“You’re kidding,” is the first thing to come out of Hux’s mouth, in a wholly unprofessional manner but he can’t hold back. He stares at the gift in Ren’s hands, then up to the man’s face, feeling a conflict of emotions roil in his stomach at the amused expression he finds there.

“Nope. Just really good at sneaking around.” Ren smirks, looking quite satisfied with himself. Hux frowns, heart fluttering even as his mind reels in denial.

“I thought this was all a joke…it’s not a joke, is it?” He asks, taking a step back. Ren’s face falls slightly, frowning.

“No? Why would you think it was a joke?” He fidgets with the gift, confident posture taking a slight hit. “Did you not like the things I got you?”

“I—that’s not—that’s beside the point,” Hux stammers, regretting the flush he can feel crawling to his cheeks. “But I didn’t realize anyone here would be…serious about me. Much less a junior manager.”

He’d gone through a list of suspects in his head several times and had at least considered Ren, but quickly dismissed the possibility. Hux can’t wrap his head around the fact that Ren was responsible for this all along—but perhaps he’d been just that good at concealing his feelings. Biding his time, plying Hux with little gifts and presents until he felt confident enough to confront him.

It’s a little endearing—which is not a word he ever thought he’d ever ascribe to someone like Ren.

“I’m serious. Very serious.” Hux takes the wrapped box as Ren holds it out to him. His heart beats a little quickly as he pulls at the bow, taking the little lid off. His eyes widen at what he sees underneath, lips parting in surprise.

Nestled in a bed of white silk are a pair of golden cufflinks, dotted in the center with a dark red stone. Truthfully they’re a little too gaudy for Hux’s taste but he’s still bewildered by the gesture.

Alright. It’s definitely not a joke.

Ren moves in closer, and as Hux inhales sharply he can detect the strong scent of his cologne.

“Wear them tonight?”

“Tonight?” Hux looks up, raising his eyebrow. “What’s tonight?”

“A date. Well, hopefully.” Ren shrugs, closing Hux’s hand over the box. “If you’ll indulge me.”

Hux balks, eyes widening at his audacity. His first instinct is to say no, remembering his plans of solitude and relaxation for the weekend, but—

—It has been quite awhile since Hux has been on a proper date, and part of him feels curiosity at just what further sort of pampering Ren has in store for him. After a moment’s hesitation he composes himself with a nod.

“I don’t have a car. You’ll have to pick me up.” Despite himself, Hux feels his heartbeat pick up in his chest. The grin returns to Ren’s face, looking excited as a schoolboy with a crush.

“Deal. See you tonight, Armitage.” And with an affectionate pat to the hand he turns away and walks away, leaving Hux to ponder over what exactly he’s gotten himself into this evening.

#spacetext #fanfic #kylux #kyluxromanceweek #i had fun with this #sw

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that-one-violist · 5 years

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formal apologies this is long, its a mindless vent session so like, dont feel obligated because oof

i hate how grief takes away so much from you. not only do you have to deal with the absence of someone you never could imagine would disappear from your life, but the bills, the house, the clothing, the holidays, the food in the fridge she would have eaten, the things you would have shared with them, the phone calls you would make, having someone to forward emails you didnt understand to, someone to sit next to when youre ill, someone to cry to when life gets tough or when your head hurts for hours unend and it just makes everything harder. i cant share anything with her anymore. i cant be happy or feel proud without it being stained by grief and pain.

like, i did really well at my juries, maybe not comparatively to others but for me i did. but all i could do was sit in a practice room and cry because i normally would have called her to tell her how proud i was and how much she made this possible for me. but i couldnt. there wouldnt be anyone on the other side, and there never will be. there was a moment when i read the comments that i just was happy and proud and excited and then i went to grab my phone by reflex and then it just hit and i just broke all over again.

last night i walked around campus from like 10-11:30 at night just walking aimlessly because i just needed to think and get some exercise and fresh air along the way. everything was fine and then i got to my dorm which at this point is empty im the only one left for exams and i feel like i could have had a minor fucking breakdown?

i literally just started crying and all i could do was talk to an empty room like i was talking to her on the phone and i tried to share everything with her and tell her how much i miss her even though i was fully aware there was no one there i just felt like i had to and it helped but how fucking crazy do you have to be? i literally even took out the wedding rings that I cleaned because i knew she would have wanted them clean because she was so meticulous so i could fucking “show” her that i got them cleaned. literally what the fuck? like i even openly said like 40 times that “theres like a 99% chance that you dont even exist anymore and then if you do its unlikely youre able to hear me or experience any of this and tehres absolutely no guarantee that if there is something after that ill be able to interact with you but i dont know what to do because telling dad about this trivial stuff that im proud of just isnt the same. its still important but its not you.” and kept going. whats wrong with me? is this just like, grief but a weird version of it?

why am i going off on here. why is tumblr somehow supposed to help me think through shit? i always have to talk through shit and im 10000% an over-sharer because i think outloud and i think through other people’s reactions and their responses but i dont want to bother anyone with this face to face because its uncomfortable and its been over a month so my “free to be too open or openly sad or openly something related to grief” card is gone and

i used to do this shit on my finsta but a lesser version of it but then people in real life that follow my finsta started to bring it up to me (and by that i mean literally one person but also) and im not trying to concern people and theres a few people i know and love to death that follow me on here and know me irl and i also dont want them to worry but i operate on the slim chance they dont see this shit even though i post fucking bullshit so frequently

i dont know im just saying shit to say it now i really need to just figure out a more personal not so vocal version of this, writing it on a piece of paper does nothing because theres no out in the world to it, idk if that makes me an attention whore but i mean i wouldnt be suprised at this rate with how much i talk about how much this is bothering me

big

fucking

yoinks (thats yikes but more)

#personal #greif #im so lost #idk what to do #im sorry for going of #off #i just #oof

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