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#whenever im home alone pretty much. not that often maybe
milkweedman · 8 months
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I ended up needing to decant the exhaust dye when I put the next 2 ounces/56 grams in, which I still have not added back in, and the new fleece is already dark with color. I'm going to let it cook overnight regardless just because I think it's good practice but wow, buckthorn berries are crazy potent for a natural dye. This was like one scant double handful (I didn't weigh them RIP) of dried berries and I'd be surprised if I got less than 6 ounces (130 grams) of dyed wool out of it.
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taintedtort · 17 days
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Hihii...!!! i really love ur HCs and i wanted to ask if you're comfortable with these types of character writing, what r ur headcanons on kenma, kuro, tsuki n maybe suna would act when they're drunk ? like would they be a bit different than their usual self ? sorry to ask a lot but im more curious on ur thoughts on kenma ;; .. write whatever u can, idm ! thank u ehehe have a good one ! >_< <3
" LET'S GET DRUNK! "
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summary. they’re drunk lolz
characters. kenma, kuroo, tsukishima
warnings. afab!reader, drinking/alcohol, post timeskip!!!^^
a/n. yesss i love kenma, many thoughts on him!! he’s my favorite!!! didn’t add suna because i don’t really know his character that well :( added a kenma bonus to make up for it tho!
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KENMA
☆ i think he’d be a sleepy drunk. he's out as soon as his head hits any soft surface— maybe even before! i feel like he also acts grumpier, mumbling complaints when you wake him up and try to move him (he was passed out on your shoulder in the car, you have to get him to bed!)
☆ his face gets kinda pink, like he’s blushing. he’s pale, so it’s more noticeable than it would be on someone else. his eyes get droopy and his face sort of relaxes, so he looks mean and tired.
☆ he stubbles slightly, but he surprisingly manages to maneuver himself pretty well for a drunk person. just don’t ask him to do a cartwheel or anything… he couldn’t even do one of those while sober.
☆ he doesn’t drink often, so he’s a light weight… plus he’s skinny and on the smaller side, so he doesn’t have to drink much to get a buzz. he’s usually responsible though, but sometimes he celebrates too hard (with a bit of a push from kuroo)
☆ he doesn’t get any more talkative, but he’s less filtered that normal. i don’t think he’d be too flirty or mean, but if he got drunk enough he may compliment you a couple times.
BONUS:
☆ the type to get so drunk he forgets who you are. you come find him to pick him up after someone called you, and he’s face down on the table. you nudge him, trying to gently guide him to stand, but he’s immediately swatting you away, grumbling about how he has a girlfriend.
"leave m' alone— got a girlfriend already," he slurs, raising his head to drunkenly glare at you. his eyes narrow further when you laugh.
"kenma… i’m you’re girlfriend," you tell him, always finding it a bit amusing when he gets this drunk. he’s not too much of a hassle though, since he usually knocks right out when you get home and tuck him in.
he's silent for a moment, just staring at you up and down. he wears the same expression he has whenever he buys a new video game, excited and in awe.
"really…?" he asks, a hopeful tone in his voice. now that he’s looking at you… you are really pretty. he really hopes you're his girlfriend.
"yes, really. i’m gonna take you home, okay? cmon," you urge, gently grabbing his arm and helping him stand. he complies this time, his eyebrows raising.
"we live together?" he questions, the situation just getting better and better to him.
"we do," you confirm, another giggle leaving you. it doesn’t really hurt your feelings that he doesn’t remember, you find it more amusing and entertaining than anything.
"… im so lucky," you hear him whisper under his breath, looking at you as you guide him to the car.
KUROO
☆ he'd be a funny drunk i think… a bit of a handful, and is entertaining at first, but eventually gets annoying. his emotions kind of double when he’s intoxicated, and he’s also kind of erratic. really energetic after his first few drinks, but if he’s extra drunk, he’s more emotional.
☆ his eyes get a little watery, but that’s about it. he actually looks more lively while he’s drunk, because he makes more facial expressions.
☆ he can’t stand straight at all, especially if he’s had more than a couple drinks. needs support to walk, otherwise he'll fall. he’s heavy though, and puts majority of his weight on you, so sometimes you end up falling anyway.
☆ he can handle his alcohol pretty well. takes him a few drinks to get a buzz, but he doesn’t usually stop there. mostly drinks to celebrate things, or at parties. never drinks alone, that’s just boring and sad to him.
☆ probably asks you random stupid questions like "what number am i?" or "what animal would i be?" (follows up that second question with "would you still love me if i was that animal?")
☆ i think he’s more talkative, but he speaks faster and his words are kinda jumbled, so it’s hard to understand him sometimes. he gets a lot more sappy, constantly complimenting you and telling you that he loves you (he does that all the time already)
"y're sooo pretty, love you s' much."
TSUKISHIMA
☆ not that much different than when he’s sober, honestly. he gets more mellow, surprisingly, though it might be because alcohol makes him a little sleepy, similar to kenma. he isn’t quick to fall asleep, but he’s not energetic and jumping around.
☆ his face is more relaxed, which makes him look even more intimidating and mean. his eyes get a little red around the edges, but that’s mostly it.
☆ stubbles quite a bit and holds things for support. if you try to help him, he’ll snip and you and complain that he doesn’t need your help to walk. (he does, and eventually gives in and leans on you a bit when he almost falls on his face)
☆ also a lightweight. doesn’t go drinking unless he’s invited, and even then he’s usually the designated driver. on top of that, he hates being hung over, and he hates throwing up, so he rarely gets super drunk. kuroo tries to persuade him sometimes, but the most he gets his a little tipsy.
☆ probably gets into debates with people about certain topics that he likes, arguing with them about facts and opinions. he usually wins. even when he’s drunk, he’s still quick witted.
☆ he fights you on everything, insisting he’s fine and "not drunk" whenever you try to help him. you end up ignoring his complaints and just assist him with changing and getting into bed anyway. he’s asleep pretty quickly, especially if you run his back/scalp.
"i don’t need help— i'm not even that drunk!"
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izoom02 · 1 year
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Helloo I would like to req a jungwon, he is a son of the principal and he is close with y/n but his father thinks y/n is a distraction from his studies so he made jungwon choose whether he let go of his friend and continue with his studies or stay friends, you can make it angst or fluff its up to u😭 (Im sorry about my english :’) )
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“DEARER THAN I..?”
Pairing: Student! Jungwon x Student! Y/N
Genre: Angst !!
Warning: None !!
Notes: When I read this, I thought of that tiktok audio😭 so I would be adding that, anyway if you want to be in my taglist please do say so !! And correct me if I made any errors hope you enjoy reading this
____________________________________
Jungwon was a quiet kid at class, he has no friends and always studying and that’s what his father wants, his father is the principal of the school, he want Jungwon to only study and be wealthy at the future, Jungwon has no problem with it but he does feel lonely since he has nobody, people take no notice of him because they are scared of him.
But one day… a transferred student went to their class and introduced as ‘Y/N’, people loves her so much because of her sweet bubbly personality, she is always helpful to others and shows respect to those who is older than her, she gets along with everyone pretty well exept Jungwon… Whenever she tries to talk to him, he simplify told her t go away or he is not interested to make friends but that didn’t stop her. Everyday, she would be waiting for him at the gate and would often greet him, she would talk random stuff and ask silly questions, Jungwon is curious… why would you want to talk to him or eager to be friends with him? He then asked “Why do you even waste your time on me?” You were truly shocked by that but then answered “because I want to get to know you alot, and everyone needs a friend!” Now it him that was shocked, he didnt expect someone actually wants to know him.. now that he thought about it, maybe its not bad to have a friend..
You guys were super close and were inseparable. Everyone was shocked that you actually became his friend, you guys always walk to class and eat lunch together, the two of you would talk a bunch of silly topic and laugh a lot, you both were super happy and so does everyone, they were also happy for you guys but except one… Jungwon’s father was not happy…he thought of you as a distraction, he despise you so much… he even tried to bribe you to leave him alone but of course you refused his offer, you want to spend your time with Jungwon and he does too, if he cant make you leave him then he’ll make sure Jungwon will be the one who will leave you..
“Y/N can we talk…?” He said gloomily, “Sure Wonie! What’s up??” You observed his face and noticed he seems sad.. “My father doesn’t want us to be friends.. he thinks you are a distraction from my studies..” you were dismayed by it “I’m not, right??” “Of course not! You were never a distraction to me” You, of course were glad to hear that, it was never your intention to be a distraction to him, you always know how much important his academics are. “So what would you do..?” You asked him sadly and hoping that you both can convince his dad that you guys can stay friends “Here’s the thing.. if I betray you… I betray myself and if I betray him… i betray his wish, and he is dear to me..” You looked down and shed a tear, you dont want to end your friendship “Dearer than I..?” Those words hurts him, you mean so much to him but he doesnt want to be a disappointment to his father “Y/N… It hurts to say.. I cant betray my own father.. i’m so sorry” and that point you started crying “I see.. Well then, thank you for everything and spending time with me” and you left, crying… Jungwon wanted to chase after you but he knows that he cant. Jungwon went home and his father was waiting for him “It’s for your own good Jungwon, it will hurt at first but you’ll soon move on, and I promise you, you will thank me in the future” Yeah.. He is right, parents knows best after all… right??? After that moment, you guys are strangers again, you both werent talking nor glancing at each other, you have your own friend group now and he is back at being alone but both of you wished to turn back time where you guys were best friend..
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cringecrew · 10 months
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(asking from arienmew) question...!! i saw a post from u mentioning ur like. altar and i was curious about that!! like if u dont mind sharing details.. what is the altar for and how do you use it?? i find the cincept very interesting and wonder if maybe itll be helpful for me too yknow!!! Christianity fucked with my spirituality too and im working on like.. accepting my spirituality as well!!! even if u dont feel like sharing thats ok im just like. pleased to know im not alone LMAO
HI!! I love talking abt my altar type things, lowkey I have no idea what post you’re talking about so I’ll just do a little run down of my different altar/altar type things!
Alterhuman Altar/Shrine :
So this is more of a comfort thing, I don’t do much witchcraft/spirituality with it as of rn but it’s a collection of things that “feel like home”!
This includes:
A spray/mist I made with essential oils
Plushies and prints of my kins/kinsidering
A little box of trinkets (sea glass, kandi, etc)
Other trinkets like dice, a fish sculpture, coins, seashells
Witchcraft Altar :
This is my stuff that’s more spiritual, crystals, tarot, herbs, candles etc. I basically use this for tarot reading (tho i often like to read outside because it feels more connected to the universe or whatever /lh) and making spells (like dressing candles, spell jars and other stuff)
This includes:
Herbs, candles, crystals, multiple tarot decks, etc. generally what you’d think of
Trinkets that hold meaning to me, this also extends to my alterhuman shrine because I borrow from there sometimes
Miscellaneous :
My whole room is pretty like witchcraft-altar vibes tbh. I keep lots of dried herbs around and I cleanse and bless the space with incense and herb bundles often. I have a lot of candles around for different things (calm/peace, uplifting and energy, protection etc) for whenever I feel I need it.
Basically! You definitely aren’t alone! I started looking into witchcraft about 5 years ago as apart of my rebellion from The Church™️ /lh. It’s definitely been a struggle to 1) go from Christian/catholic to what feels like the opposite and then 2) realize I ended up on the extremist opposite of before and navigate the feelings towards being neutral/more in the middle.
If you ever wanna talk about it feel free to dm me!! I’m not super active on here but I can also be reached very quickly through my discord server in my pinned post :]
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fueledbyapplepi · 3 years
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I love your writing it's so good!!! Could I have reader having a crush on the boys and giving them a kiss while they think the boys are asleep and confessing their love to them with mikey, chifuyu and the haitani brothers? Im just so soft for those boys!!!
Sleep Tight | Mikey, Chifuyu, Ran, and Rindou
- Confessing to the boys while they're (not really) asleep
genre: 🌸 fluff 🌸
warnings: minor cussing
A/N: Thank you, anon! I really got into writing this one ( ◜‿◝ )♡ Also, I honestly think I need to come up with better titles because it sounds like a word vomit to me LMAO Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!
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Mikey (Sano Manjiro)
Life would be nice if you had someone by your side who felt the same way about you.
You already have Mikey by your side, making every day much easier to get by. But does he feel the same way with you?
You practically grew up together with Mikey. Being neighbors with the man, you often come by to play with them as kids- leading to a blooming friendship. Although more often, it was you watching Mikey train in his grandfather’s dojo, where he never fails to amaze you with his tricks. Sometimes, you’ll have sleepovers together with Emma and Mikey where you’ll watch movies with them. Only for Mikey to be sound asleep halfway through the movie.
Growing up, nothing has changed that much with that routine. The only thing that has changed is your growing feelings for Mikey.
You saw the ups and downs in his life. From the time he established Toman to losing Shinichiro, you were there to witness how he would build a castle from the rocks of his downfalls.
So it was no surprise that you find your heart beating much faster when he’s around.
Childish as he is, you can’t deny the fact that Mikey is charismatic, beautiful, and kind. But, you never had the chance to tell him what you feel. Because what if he never saw you the same way?
You looked at Mikey, who’s currently sitting by your side almost half asleep. His head swings from side to side as he struggles on whether he should watch the movie or not.
“Mikey, you always never get to finish our movie nights. You’re no fun.” Emma pouted at his brother as she turned off the television.
“Mhmm, not sleepy.” Mikey turned to look at you then at Emma before leaning on your shoulder. “Just a little.”
Your heart flutters from close contact. “Maybe he’s tired from one of Toman’s meetings.” You turned to look at Emma with a sorry face
Sighing, Emma stepped out of the room as she looked at you, “I’ll get us a blanket, wait here Y/N.”
Your face felt hot as you realized that you were left alone in the room with Mikey. Well, this isn’t unusual for you two but with the strong feelings you have for him, you just can’t help but blush.
You looked at Mikey, his eyelashes seemed a bit longer, making his eyes more beautiful. His lips, although chapped, pouted with the way he’s comfy with you.
“Mikey, can you stop being so pretty? It makes me want to kiss you,” you whispered, thinking that Mikey’s probably dozing off to dreamland.
Mikey opened out one of his eyes to take a peek at you. All the sleepiness vanishing from his body. Did he just hear you right? “Then kiss me, Y/N.”
“Heh? Mikey, you’re awake?” you felt embarrassment creeping into you. “Mikey...I...look, sorry. I-”
Your blabbering mouth was silenced with a peck on the lips. Mikey kissing all your worries away.
“I like you too, Y/N.” He smiled as he leaned closer to you. Your foreheads touching and nose brush against each other.
You felt like you’re on cloud nine. Is this real? Mikey likes you too?
Before you could say anything, the door opened with Emma looking at the two of you weirdly. “Hehhh, am I interrupting something?”
You and Mikey looked at Emma. An embarrassed look on both of your faces as if you were caught red-handed.
Now, there’s a lot of explaining to do.
Chifuyu Matsuno
No matter how many times you try, you always seem to lose.
But who won’t?
With Chifuyu’s angelic smile and kind eyes, your determination to admit your feelings for him always seems to waver. It’s just that your thoughts always fly out the window and anxiousness gets the best of you.
You’ve known Chifuyu for quite some time now. Baji, who’s your cousin, introduced him to you as Toman’s 1st Division Vice-Captain and most trusted partner. Of course, it was only natural for you to be wary of him. Baji might trust him, but he could be some sort of drug dealer or serial killer. Who knows?
You’re wrong though. The more time you spend with Chifuyu, the more you appreciate his presence. How can you not? He always lends you a helping hand whenever you need it. As cliche as it sounds, Chifuyu is like the knight and shining armor in your life.
And now here he is. Once again saving you from another horrible situation.
Chifuyu offered you a ride when he found you drenched from the rain in Shinagawa. Apparently, the weather wouldn’t be pleasant today but you forgot to read the weather forecast. Currently, he brought you to his home for the meantime as the rain wouldn’t be stopping until tomorrow.
“I’ll just text and let Baji-san know that you’ll be staying here.” Chifuyu handed you a blanket as he laid on his futon.
“Thank you, Chifuyu. But I swear it’s okay for me to sleep there. This is your bed anyway.” You said embarrassed.
Chifuyu yawned. Tiredness dropping from his eyes. “It’s alright, Y/N. I can’t let Baji-san’s pretty cousin sleep on the floor.” He smiled at you with a faint blush on his cheeks.
You laid on the bed silently. Blushing from his compliment. Did he just call you beautiful?
You looked at the ceiling for about a good minute before turning to Chifuyu. “Chifuyu-san, I-”
A soft sleeping figure cut you off. The light from the lamp outside reflected on his beautiful features.
You padded off your feet on the floor and sat right next to Chifuyu. Observing him, you notice that he looks prettier when he’s peaceful like this.
You hesitatingly brushed your fingers on his hair. While massaging it, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed by your emotions. “I like you, Chifuyu-san.” You smiled proudly at yourself as you finally got to admit your feelings even though he’s asleep.
However, you noticed that the sleeping figure in front of you stiffened and reddened from your statement. Eyes wide, you held a hand in your mouth.
“Chifuyu-san, are you awake?” You hoped that he wasn’t.
But apparently, he is. “I guess you caught me.” Chifuyu sat up and scratched his head as he smiled at you sheepishly. “That felt nice though.”
“I’m sorry!” You bowed your head, hair hiding your flustered state.
“I like it!” Chifuyu panicked. “I mean, no. I like it. But, I like you too, Y/N-san.”
You laughed. At the same time, feeling extremely happy from what you just had heard.
“I guess we have some explaining to do with Baji-san.” you teased him
“Mhmm. But,” he held your hand and put it into his hair. “Would you continue that?” Chifuyu smiled.
“Of course.” You smiled at him, continuing your hair massages.
Looks like you won this time.
Ran Haitani
You’re no medical expert. The only knowledge you got was based on textbooks and first aid knowledge.
Yet somehow, Ran would always come knocking on your door whenever he has cuts or injuries. Sometimes, even without one, he would come by at your place and complain that his body is painful.
And it’s one of those nights again as you hear a soft knock on the door.
Moving to Roppongi, you were warned about the Haitani brothers. How you must stay away from them because they’re just no good. However, you somehow managed to come across the elder Haitani while you were shopping at a local store when he asked you what hair dye he should use.
This little interaction moved from one way to the other and now, ever since Ran found out where you live, he always comes by to let you heal his “injuries”.
You’re not complaining though. Despite the rumors and warnings, Ran was much more different from what other people say. He may be cocky and teasing, but the beautiful man sure is nice when it comes to you.
Causing you to develop a little crush on him.
You opened the door as you welcomed Ran. “Now, what do we have for tonight?”
Ran stepped in as he walked towards the couch. Laying as if he lives around here. “I got a bump on my forehead.” He pointed out as he pouted at you.
“You have Rindou! And you call yourself notorious but you come here whining like a baby.” you rolled your eyes as you got in the kitchen getting an ice pack for the man.
“Here.” You handed out the ice pack as you stood up in front of him.
“No.” Ran rolled his eyes. “Kiss it, Y/N.” he pouted once again.
“You’re not a baby, Ran. Tch.” you sighed as you sat across him. “Take a nap here and I’ll cook for you when you wake up.”
“Now, wifey material aren’t we.” Ran teased as he closed his eyes. Holding the ice packet against his forehead.
About a good 10 minutes have passed and you never heard another bicker from Ran. As you look at him, the man seems to be sleeping like a log.
You crouched down near him. Observing his features. You must say, he’s quite beautiful and more attractive when less chaotic.
“You’re such a big baby.” Thinking that he’s asleep, you kissed the small bump on his forehead.
As you got up to prepare his late dinner, a hand clutched yours.
You felt your body freeze for a moment as you turned around and saw a bastard smiling cockily.
“Do it again, Y/N.” Ran grinned at you as he held on tighter on your hand. “I’m a big baby but your baby.”
“Let me go!.” your face was beat red as you tried to yank off your hands. Only failing as Ran grabbed your arms causing you to fall on top of him.
“I like you, Y/N” Ran hugged you tightly while you were a blushing mess on top of him. “So let's just stay like this for a while.”
And you did.
Being with Ran isn’t so bad after all.
Rindou Haitani
If there’s one thing you’re proud of, it’s the skill you have for coloring people’s hair.
You like dyeing your hair, your friend’s hair, your cousins, and to just anyone who asks for your help. So it was no surprise when Rindou asked you to help him in doing his highlights.
Of course you can’t say no. Not because he is a Haitani but because you actually like his presence. When you’re around him, everything seems more calm and peaceful.
Despite being a menace around Roppongi, you and Rindou are actually good friends. You’ve known each other when he saved your ass around a group of guys who tried to harass you. And although he was stoic to you at first, he was able to ease up to you because of your caring nature.
After all, you recognized him as Rindou Haitani and not “Ran’s younger brother”. And he appreciated you for it.
So now here you are in their living room. Currently finished in dyeing Rindou’s hair.
“And there you have it. We just have to wait for an hour or so before washing it.” You tidied all the mess up as Ran sat and observed you. “By the way, why won’t you let me dye Ran’s hair?”
He raised an eyebrow upon your question. “Because he can’t have you.” Your eyes widened from his statement. Rindou, realizing what he just said, covered it up with an excuse. “I mean, I want him to dye his own hair and let it look shit. If he wants someone to dye his hair properly, he can go to the salon.”
You laughed at his statement. Well, he can actually crack up jokes once in a while if he loosens up his strict facade. “Oh Rindou, we also need to buy an extra conditioner.”
You looked up and saw the man with closed eyes. Deciding that you don’t want to disturb his sleep, you sat quietly beside him and observed him.
Rindou is already handsome with his glasses. But you realized that he looks much cuter without one.
He just looks good in anything.
You traced the bridge of his nose as you admired his features. “You know what? I actually might have feelings for you.” you muttered softly as you smiled.
“Let’s go out on a date then.” Rindou opened his eyes as he looked at you. Your lips a few inches away from his.
“Rindou!!!” You sat up straight. “I thought you were-”
“Asleep? Well I’m not.” he smiled at you as reached out for your hand. “But I meant it Y/N. I like you, and I want us to go on a date.” Rindou looked at you, hoping for an immediate response.
He does like you. After all, you were the only person who he was able to open up to other than Ran.
“Okay.” You smiled as you brushed your thumb at the top of his hand.
Rindou caressed your cheeks. Leaning in and going for a kiss.
“Ohh. Can I join?” a teasing voice butted in. Causing you two to look at the tall man who’s leaning in the doorframe. “I mean can I join Y/N’s dye party? Just continue that later.”
“Ran, get out!” Rindou shouted as he pointed at the door to his brother.
Well, things quickly escalated with the brothers.
As well as your relationship with Rindou.
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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years
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Do you write yandere? If so, can I request skz yandere headcanons on how they would react when S/O rejects them because she doesn't wanna deal with whole drama that would come with dating an idol?
i mean kinda?? i have a seungmin yandere fic in my drafts sooo BUT YEAH
oh also, requests are not open but im just gonna do this one cause headcanons are kinda fun BUT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED <33
also why is the felix one so short-
Warnings; yandere!skz, rejection, k-dnapping, slight gaslightning or like manipulation, restraints, threats, aggression, mentions of masturbation, stockholm syndrome
Chan
nobody rejects him. nobody.
you two were friends from school and you were sooo happy when chan made it as an idol, finally persuing the dream he had been yapping on about for years. 
but in the midst of that he realized that he had feelings for you, he missed you all the time, just wanting to hang out with you and maybe explore the things he had on his mind. so,, he decided to confess when you guys were at a cafe.
“look y/n,,, there’s something I wanna tell you” he started to which you tilted your head
“nooo,,, are you guys going on a tour again,,, i wil miss you sooo much channie” you said with a pout but the boy shook his head.
“i like you y/n” 
your mouth stood agape, this was not what you expected and truthfully,,, not what you wanted. 
“chan,,, y-you know thats not possible” you said with a frown, looking at him straight ahead.
“of course it is,,, why wouldn’t it be? w-what are you trying to say y/n?!” his voice started growing louder, you looking around in order to see that people werent turning their heads towards your table. 
Minho
you have made a big big mistake my friend- 
wont even hesitate to keep you hostage in his basement LIKE IM NOT JOKING-
might just tie you up and like,,, not even do anything to you, just talk to you and admire you, maybe tracing your facial features and cuddle closer on the cold floor
just wants to keep you as a pet or smth and you are scared out of your mind cause you cant move cause of the restraints, you cant speak because you have silvertape across your lips that he only removes to feed you but if you start screaming you wont get any so you deicde to just stay calm and quiet before someone saves you and play along. 
i mean you do,,, kinda fall for him but you know you cant,, but you cant help but to fall for him and miss him whenever he’s out on schedule things
he always returns to you and you get so happy when you see the little crevice of light from outside when he opened the basement door
whenever he lies next to you, you put your head against his shoulder and take in his scent the best you can
he told you everyday that he would let you go if you agreed to date him but you shook your head,, maybe cause you liked being his prey. 
Changbin
he’s more of the threatening type of yandere,,, like,, not that he’s violent but if you try to block his number he will create new ones and keep on sending you messages about how you have betrayed him and how he wished that you loved him back and all that,,,,
you guys often meet because you go to the same college and are students in the same department sooo,,,, avoiding him is pretty impossible 
he stares a lot at you,,, you guys have a couple of classes together and he just stares the entire time, his eyes are just filled with revenge, he somehow wants you make you his, own you but he doesnt know how yet, for now he can just look.
watch this fucking message conversation just be this;
[why did you talk to him during class?]
[you could have just asked me]
[nobody loves you like i do. no one y/n]
you are never getting rid of him basically,,
he’s gonna get to you first ;))
Hyunjin
i feel like he goes more to the stalking route than the kidnapping and drugging and whatnot- 
ok,,, you rejected him,,, but that doesnt mean you’re getting rid of him.
ohmygod what if he turns into a peeping tom- cause he obviously knows where you live. 
like yall were not even that close?? he just saw you backstage at one of the concerts and thought you looked good so he decided to go up to, you werent an idol so no problem he thought.
but he gets a bit too,, hasty with his decisions and often falls for people randomly and so when he politely greeted you and gave you his number you simply shook your head, explaining that this wouldn’t be possible since you worked in the same industry and you needed to stay clear out of any scandals in order to keep your job. 
no was not answer in Hyunjins mind. 
luckily he managed to catch your full name by flickering through some papers in an office and also saw your full adress there, knowing exactly what he was going to do on his free time. 
Jisung
if im being completely honest,,, i have no idea-
like,,, he gives me kinda pervy yandere vibes,,,
what if youre like his ex before he became an idol and now he wants to get back together with you-
oh,,, he masturbates to your pictures-
i feel like he always thinks about you, wondering what you like and wants to write songs about you but he doesnt do much-
but when he finds out that you have been hired by the same company as him to work as a like,,, economics accountant thingy he is all of a sudden vEEERY interested-
always asking the manager of when the group will have meetings with the accounting team,,, although they had nothing to do with them-
he just wanted to be in a conference room with you (and think pervy things about you in your tight office skirt and white blouse)
you went to the toilet on day and you saw him lurking around the same floor,,, WHICH ONCE AGAIN WAS NOT CONNECTED TO THE GROUP AT ALL- 
and idk,,, probably sneaks in with you and locks the door before you even react that theres someone else in the toilet- 
i feel like he’s pretty mild,,, but when he’s alone with you he is aggressive broooo
probably pins you to the wall and threatens you or smth along those lines,,,,,
(writing this is what my life has become to-)
Felix
“what do you think you’re doing?”
you turn around again, you had just thought of just leaving with a vague answer to his question but he was not having it. 
“answer.” 
his words sounded cold, his dark voice making an entrace, the exact one you’ve heard on many of the songs you listened to.
“felix,,, you have to understand,,, u-um,, if we date theres gonna be some issues” you said but he just stared at you with cocky eyebrows and a dark gaze, running his tongue on the inside of his cheek.
“do you think i care? would i ask you if i cared?” he said to which you shook your head automatically, what more could you do?
“you get until tomorrow to think and if i don’t get the answer i want well,,, we’ll see what i’ll do to you.”
Seungmin
he plots shit behind your back yk?
he’s more of the sneaky type of yanderes (oop spoiler to a fic heh)
like he makes this like fucking year long plan where the objective of the mission is to make you obssessed with him-
he starts kinda subtely,,, first its going to the same gym as you and like,,, knowing where you placed your stuff
and then he starts putting small notes like under your waterbottle when you went to grab something that say like “i think youre cute, call me” and then his number
you obviously dont react,,, because why the fuck would you contact a stranger at the gym 
BUT THEN you realize that its him, its mf kim seungmin. yo,,,, u didnt know he went to this gym,,, that was not,,, the best-
of course you got a bit interested,,, you wanted to know how he was off camera,,, like just in his everyday life and i meeean,,, he was attractive but obviously you should stay away bc,,, he’s a celebrity but seungmin didnt want to stay away
he notes somehow started to get more aggressive,,, suddenly being like “why are you ignoring me?” and such,,,
and one night you were left alone in the gym with him,,, it was sooo quiet, only the sounds of your strained breaths as you lifted a dumbell
here where the plan came to play ;))
Jeongin
he’s obsessed with you and you are not going anywhere, even if you rejected him. 
he’s more clingy?? LIKE HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU
ok sure,, he falls more into the stalking category too,,, 
also veeeery much a obssessed kinda yandere,,, like his mind is not thinking about how to like capture you,,, more about how to make you soooo comfortable and fool you into loving him despite the circumstances?
i just imagine that you work in a cafe and jeongin often meets you there when he buys coffee and you are already in awe when you see fucking yang jeongin enter the coffee shop on your shift but you were even more excited when he leaves his phone number on a napkin and slides it over the counter before leaving. 
you thought about it,,, contemplating multiple times but,,, you decided it would be best not to since well,,, safety purposes 
but he would visit you and every day his face got more and more perplexed cause he wondered why you didnt call
mf would not leave you alone, he would even wait outside the coffee shop until you finished your shift and walk you home,,, so now he knew where you lived- 
and then do the same thing over and over again until you talked to him.
does. not. give. up. 
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Note
Hi love, pretty sure you're requests are open (if not just ignore this) n e ways what about Inarizaki with manager who's like intimidating (i've been told i am intimidating lol) and very sarcastic, much Tsukishima Kei vibez cuz that's basically me😃
Just like how would our boys react, very curious and take your time btw don't have to rush it, do it whenever you feel like :D
Oh my gosh Nat, it's literally my honour to write this for you. You can request anything, anytime, and you'll be a top priority (ily<3)
Inarizaki with a tsukkishima-ish manager.
Specially dedicated to @sunasthing <3
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So first of all, if you think that's gonna stop the boys from simping over you, you've got it wrong 😖🖐️
The boys would literally take it as a challenge to get your softer nature out, especially Atsumu.
I GENUINELY think he'd find it really hot whenever you snap back at him, or tell him off. (maybe he's like Nishinoya and Tanaka in that sense 🙄)
Constantly pesters you, and although you don't give him a reply often (because he's annoying as fuck), if you ever acknowledge him slightly, he WILL flirt with you.
Beware tho, even if he comes off as flirty and charismatic, he's literally just a dorky small baby and genuinely wants your attention because he thinks you're the coolest person ever.
And if you're ever nice to him, you can best bet he'll replay that moment in his mind before sleeping EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.
Y/n, earlier that day: don't get hurt. I don't want to have to deal with anyone on this team being injured
Atsumu at 3 a.m: s-she cares about me 🥺🥺
I think Osamu would vibe really well with you. He's not annoying, he's really really chill, and he has a pretty sharp tongue himself.
Judges people as an attempt to make you laugh, and he sees it as a personal victory if he can get you to crack a smile or smirk. He just doesn't make a big deal about it, unlike his twin xD
Osamu: y/n look at that guy. he's totally crushing on his brother's best friend, could he not be more obvious about it??
Y/n: *cracks a smirk* yeah, it does seem so.
Osamu, internally: ✨v i c t o r y i s s w e e t✨
He also cooks for you pretty often, and even if you protest against accepting it, you'll usually find a bento hidden in your locker or bag.
He knows you might not accept it straight, so he finds other ways to get it to you. Osamu actually thinks of you as a cooler sister that he says "he'd trade Atsumu for"
In general, the twins are the life of Inarizaki and although they're sometimes annoying, they mean well and it's plain to see that they love you.
Kita loves how smart and analytical you are. I've said this before, I'll say it again— Kita thinks brains are sexy 😤
Especially when you call the team to give your insights about their opponents, or give them ideas on how to improve their play, Kita is literally there like “I'm so glad she's ours”
Because you would be a dangerous asset to other teams, and Kita is the most thankful that you're with them.
He's also a really good leader and although the two of you don't have heart-to-hearts or conversations like the twins, you know he'll ALWAYS be there for you.
Like once, it was raining and practice was cancelled, so you decided to wait in school until the rain subsided (because you didn't want to get wet), and our sweet Kita searched for you in every single classroom until the finally found you and walked you home. That's just the dynamic you had with him
He also often checks up on you, even when it's unrelated to volleyball. Have you done your homework? have you ate breakfast this morning? although you're usually sarcastic with the twins and most of the other members of the team, you can't bring yourself to do so with Kita.
The respect you guys have for each other is unmatched and that's probably why you're such a golden duo in Inarizaki. The leader and the analytical manager.
And now Suna. I think Suna would be the member you have the deepest bond with. you truly allow him to see who you are inside, and he does the same. You guys really just click.
It started with him complaining about Atsumu, and slowly progressed into you letting Suna be the only member to have physical contact with you, but only when the others aren't looking.
Sometimes, if you guys are the only two people in the gym, he'll nap on your lap or lean on your shoulder.
If you didn't already know, like everyone else in Inarizaki, he has a crush on you 😖🖐️ like damn you thought Atsumu had it bad? nah, Suna has it the worst.
He literally asks his little sister to let him practice braiding her hair, just so he'll be perfect when he someday asks to do yours.
But he always chickens out because he's scared you'll say no 😭😭 he's internally very shy, okay? 🥺🥺
He's literally your best friend. You guys have study sessions together, anime nights, literally anything, he's right there with you. The rest of the team are literally not aware of how close the two of you are.
Until one day, Atsumu tries daring you to kiss Suna on the forehead, and instead of flat-out refusing (like you've done before when he's dared you to kiss him, or Akagi) you shrug and gently kiss Suna on the forehead, causing Suna to smile and ruffle your hair.
The rest of the team is just shocked.
Atsumu: what is this FUCKERY?? is y/n literally WILLINGLY touching someone ??¿¿
Y/n and Suna: *smirks*
Atsumu, close to tears: okay
But the rest of the team soon accept you and Suna have a pretty special bond, and that you're genuinely softer when it comes to him.
You don't snap at him much, and as they've noticed, Suna has started being more brave about leaning on your shoulder or sleeping on your lap.
Of course, the rest of the team (with the exception of Kita) is jealous. But hey, they just don't have Suna's charm, okay? xD
You make Suna want to try harder, and he's way more motivated to give it his all in every single game. Mostly because he wants you to be proud of him.
He definitely has a nickname for you, but he will only use it when he's sure you guys are alone. And in return, you call him "Rin" which makes his heart flutter 🥺🥺
KAHDKSS I TOOK SO LONG WITH THE SUNA ONE PLEASE IM TURNING BOTH OF US INTO EVEN BIGGER SUNA SIMPS (as if we weren't already xD)
Now onto Aran !! Aran is a softie who (like Kita) respects you a great deal. He'll fend Atsumu and Osamu off if he senses you aren't having a great day.
He's also pretty good at giving you your space but he checks up on you every once in a while if anyone is bothering you.
Although he's shy about it, Aran actually comes to you when he doesn't understand a homework question. You're super smart and he knows you won't make him feel bad about not knowing.
And it makes you feel happy to know he trusts you, so you help him as best as you can. It's a little secret of yours that the other members don't know about.
It especially lights your day up when he gets a good grade and whispers a silent "thank you" to you in class.
In return, will help you with anything you ask for. No questions asked.
And now, last but not least, sunshine Akagi!! I think he's a total Hinata Shoyo, so he might annoy you a bit at first because of his bright personality.
But deep down inside, you love how easily he gets people to smile and slowly find yourself warming up to him.
And Akagi is really determined to get you to smile (at least once a day) so he cracks the corniest jokes or makes puns.
It has become a thing between the two of you, where Akagi tells you a joke a day, and you rate it out of ten.
Gone are the days when you found him annoying. And now, even if you won't tell him outright— you really do think he's one of the brightest people in your life.
Additional headcanons
CHEERING YOU UP— whenever you feel quieter than usual, or a bit more sarcastic, the boys immediately know something is wrong and rush over to make you feel okay. Literally, it's almost like they've abandoned practice. And eventhough you tell them to get back to it, they refuse to leave until you're feeling better. Suna usually gives you a hug and kisses your forehead, whilst Akagi cracks jokes. Then, (and eventhough you protest) Atsumu lists off all the things you should love about yourself, whilst Osamu buys you ice cream (food is, after all, the best cure for anything). Aran is literally ready to HUNT the person who affected your mood down, and kill them, whilst Kita is literally just holding him back and making sure things don't go overboard. Even if you aren't fully cheered up by then, you'd have laughed a whole lot and know how much they care for you, so honestly... how could you stay sad?
REACTING TO YOU TELLING THEM OFF— Suna is literally just meh about it. He can't take you seriously because he's a dork who thinks he's not included in the list of "idiots" (but no Suna, u mf, you ARE included -_-). Atsumu thinks it's hot 👀 (as I mentioned above), Akagi is genuinely upset/ready to sob and vows to do better. Kita is proud of you for telling them off before he could do it (Kita is not included in the "idiots". How could he? he's PERFECT 🖐️). Osamu and Aran have similar reactions, because they end up apologizing and try to change tactics and do better.
HOW THEY'D ACT WHEN YOU START DATING SUNA— (because this is honestly inevitable, wbk 😭❤️). Atsumu would be jealous. Petty and would call Suna "pretty boy" every chance he gets. Leave him, im sure he'll get over it 🥺🥺 Osamu is pretty jealous too, but he'll never show it and focuses instead on your happiness. Kita approves, and honestly thinks you're a good influence on Suna. Aran is protective of you, and would literally gun Suna down if he ever hurt you (but he won't. Suna loves you, he'd literally jump down a cliff before ever hurting you 😤🖐️) and Akagi is cheerful as before, but extra glad because you seem to smile a bit more often (and Akagi loves your smile).
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I took a lot of effort on this <3 hope you like it, bae !! Taglist— @dai-tsukki-desu @sunasthing @k-sakusa-old @tilli-san
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nastybuckybarnes · 3 years
Text
Deep End  -  Three
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Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers X Reader
Summary: He’s back. After all your best efforts at getting away, he’s found you again. And this time, he’s not letting you go so easily. He’s determined to do whatever it takes to get you to be his. Forever.
Warnings: Dark Themes, Language, Angst, Manipulation, Anxiety
Word Count: 2.6K
A/n: Part three nowwww. I hope you guys enjoy!!! I’m not sure how often I’ll be posting but I hope it’s more frequently than im doing now. Anywho, here you go, and I hope you all have a great night!
Madness Masterlist
Bad Dream Masterlist
THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!
~*~
The record player in the corner of the spare bedroom plays softly, the soothing voice of Billie Holiday filling your ears as your eyes skim over the room, lips pursed.
Although it isn’t ideal, having a project does make the time go by faster.
Just as you’re deciding where you want the crib to go, soft feet pad into the room, Sarah’s arms coming up to your leg.
“Mommy, why are you in here?” You glance down at her, one hand coming to ruffle her hair.
“Nothing, sweetheart.” She frowns, looking up at you. “Then why are you in here?”
You raise your eyebrows, a smile growing on your face at her sass.
“You ask a lot of questions, don’t you, missy?” She nods, putting her hands on her hips proudly.
“Yes, I do.” You roll your eyes, grabbing her hand and ushering her out of the room and down the stairs.
“C’mon. Let’s get you a snack.” Her mind is instantly occupied by what she wants to eat and as you’re rummaging around in the pantry, she’s climbing up onto the barstool.
“Your father should be home in a few hours, then maybe you can convince him to order pizza, just until we go grocery shopping.” You look at the nearly empty pantry with your lips pursed, grabbing some crackers and shaking them onto a plate for you and her to share.
“Why did we move out here with daddy?” She asks, making you freeze for a moment. You flounder for an answer but she shoots out another question, saving you from coming up with an excuse.
“Why didn’t you tell me that daddy was coming to pick us up?” That one you’ve thought about.
“I don’t know, honey. I guess it just never came up. And I didn’t know if or when he would come home from work.” She nods, taking a cracker and chewing it thoughtfully, swallowing before asking another question.
“Why do you look sad whenever daddy’s around?” That one catches you off guard even more than the first one did, and you cough twice, trying to gather your thoughts.
“I-I’m not sad, baby. I’m just trying to get used to living with him again, that’s all.” She hums, seemingly pleased with the answer.
A few minutes of silent eating go by before you find yourself wanting to ask her something.
“Sarah,” you begin, waiting until she looks up at you to continue.
When her sparkling blue eyes meet yours, you lower your voice slightly.
“Do you like living here with your dad?” Her face lights up and you have your answer before she speaks.
“I do! I really like living here and Morgan’s my best friend and I’m happy to have daddy back! And I like that we get to see Aunty Nat more and I like Uncle Bucky too!” You nod slowly, pursing your lips.
“So do you want to stay here, then?” She nods eagerly, a smile on her face.
“I really do! I love it here! I’m so happy daddy came to pick us up!” You let out a shaky breath and nod, your one chance at leaving being crushed.
Steve treats his daughter right and she’s happy here. You can’t very well take away her happiness and replace it with longing and instability. Not when she’s been your pillar during those four years away from Him.
She deserves some semblance of peace. And you’re willing to sacrifice yours if it means that she can get hers.
~*~
“Daddy!” Sarah runs to the front door and intercepts her father as soon as she can see him, jumping up into his arms excitedly.
“Hi, baby!” He hugs her tightly, transferring her to one arm effortlessly and walking into the house.
“How was your day at school?” He asks, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“It was good! Can we get pizza for dinner?” He raises his brows, eyes fluttering around the house in search of you.
“Well, we’re gonna have to ask your mom about that, okay?” She nods, shimmying out of his grip and up the stairs.
He sets his work bag down on the counter, following the little blond girl up the stairs and smiling when he sees you in the spare bedroom, a look of concentration on your face and a pretty blue dress on your figure.
“Hi, honey,” he whispers, his arms wrapping around your frame.
“Hi,” you murmur, trying to remember the measurements of the dresser as you inspect the bedroom.
“Pizza!” Sarah exclaims, tugging on the bottom of your dress.
“Oh yeah.” You turn around to face Steve, eyes meeting his for a brief moment before falling to his shoulder.
“Could we order pizza tonight? W-we don’t have much for groceries but I can make a list and we could pick some up tomorrow morning? I just- it’s Friday and b-before...” you take a deep breath, fighting tears as memories of life before start to fill your mind.
“Hey, Sarah? Could you do me a favour please, princess?” Steve glances down at his daughter, sensing that this may be a conversation best had in privacy.
“Yes, daddy?”
“Could you go downstairs and see if there are any snacks that we have that you want? Or any that you want us to buy for you?” She nods eagerly, running out of the room and down the stairs, leaving you alone with her father.
You take another deep breath then explain yourself in depth.
“Friday’s used to be pizza night for her and me. We’d order pizza and watch a movie. Nat or... or my dad would come over too but... we haven’t had a pizza night since coming here and I think it would bring her more comfort and more normality.” He eyes you for a moment.
“It would bring her that or you that?” You swallow hard, eyes cast down to the floor.
“Either answer is valid, darling. I want you to be happy here and if we need to make pizza Friday’s a thing, then we’ll make them a thing. I just want the two of you to be happy and healthy, okay?” You sniffle then nod, your bottom lip wobbling as anxiety courses through your veins.
“Hey, talk to me. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” You squeeze your eyes shut as a tear slides down your cheek.
“I-I’m scared,” you whisper, terrified to confess this but knowing he won’t do anything with Sarah so close by.
“Of what?” He asks gently, trying to coax it out of you.
“Of you.” His fingers stop their tracing on your waist and he stiffens.
“I-I don’t want you to hurt me. And I know I can’t leave. I can’t run b-because I tried once and you found me. And Sarah loves it here and I don’t want to deprive her of that, of you, but I’m so terrified of you.” He’s quiet for a long moment before wrapping you up in his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
“Thank you for telling me,” he whispers. He’s not angry like you thought he’d be. No, he’s supportive and gentle, and you feel more tears fall from your eyes.
“I’m not going to hurt you, okay? Not like I did before. I love you, (Y/n). And I need you. Sarah needs you. I’d never...” He trails off, swallowing hard and shaking his head.
“You’re mine. I want you to do things a certain way, yes, but I’m not going to hurt you the way that I did before, okay? As long as you stay here and you behave. You've done pretty well so far, but I know it’s gonna take time. I just hope that when the baby comes you don't go back to your old ways.” His hand finds your tummy, rubbing gently.
“I’m all alone during the day, Steve. I don’t have any friends o-or any family. You’ve got me locked in this big house all day and I can’t even access the cutlery. It’s hard not to feel like a prisoner when you treat me like one.” Anger flashes across his features for a moment and you tug away from him.
“Just like it’s gonna take you some time to trust me again, it’s gonna take me time to trust you. You’ve hurt me before, (Y/n). A lot. I told you that I won’t treat you the way I did at first and I mean that, but if you even try to take my daughter from me, I’ll stop you. I’ll use whatever force necessary.” You swallow hard and nod, your fingers trembling.
“Now, you go make a list with Sarah while I shower. When I’m finished we’ll order pizza and watch a movie, okay?” You nod again, this one more reluctant.
You go to move past him but his hand grips your wrist, halting you.
“I love you, (Y/n). And I’ll do anything to keep you in my life. But you know that already, don’t you?” You glance over at him, the fire in his eyes making your heart race in your chest.
“Mommy! Is applesauce in the fridge?” Sarah’s voice saves you from having to answer, and you hurry down the stairs.
Steve stands in the spare bedroom, thoughts filling his mind, a deep voice whispering that you need to be punished.
He shakes the thought from his mind and walks to his bedroom, ready to take a shower then relax with his family.
~*~
Beauty and the Beast plays softly on the TV, two almost empty pizza boxes are on the coffee table and the three of you are on the couch.
You’re curled up against his side, if only to be able to watch as your daughter sleeps peacefully in his lap, her mouth open and soft snores falling from her lips.
You’re not sure what comes over you, whether it be fear from your conversation earlier or you wanting to get on his good side, but you speak.
“She says she loves being here, living with you and going to school with Morgan,” you whisper, your eyes trained on your daughter as Steve looks over at you.
“She uh, she wants to stay, more than anything in the world. And even if I had the option, I don’t think I’d take her from here. I... I couldn’t do something like that to her.” Your eyes slowly meet Steve’s and he smiles softly, understanding the meaning behind your words.
You wouldn’t leave him even if you could.
“I’m glad. I love having you both here. Everything’s been so much better since you guys have been back in my life.” You take a deep breath then turn back to the tv, leaning your head against his shoulder slowly.
His arm winds around your figure, hugging you closer to him with a smile.
“It’s all going to be okay, honey. I promise. Everything will be okay.”
~*~
The weeks pass in a blur of dresses, cooking, and reading.
Every day is so much the same that it’s become painful. You’d kill for a new book, a job, fuck, even a better project than the one you have now.
“Well why don’t you order the furniture?” Steve asks when you bring it up to him one Sunday morning.
“I... I don't wanna order anything until we know for sure that I’m pregnant.”
He knows that if you aren’t pregnant already, you will be within a few days. The fertility pills he’s been giving you should’ve already taken effect, but if not he’s more than willing to keep trying for a baby.
“And I don’t wanna pick out colours or anything yet, and if we get the furniture now we’re just gonna have to move it when we paint the room, so it seems like the least logical thing to do,” you explain, fingers twisting around your mug of tea.
“I think it’s prime time to start planting. You could start a little garden out back? Give you something to take care of and whatnot,” he suggests, watching as you purse your lips.
It would be nice to have fresh vegetables and flowers. And getting dirty’s never really bothered you.
“Alright. But I don’t know what grows well out here. Back... where we were before, we could grow lots of things. I don’t know what flourishes out here.” He walks around the kitchen island and takes your hand, leading you to the couch.
“We’ll look it up, and then I’ll grab some seed and you can start the garden tomorrow. How’s that sound?” You nod, sitting down beside him.
“Could you maybe pick up some books on gardening too? I’m not the best and I want this to turn out well.” He smiles, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“Of course, anything for you, honey.”
True to his word, Steve provides you with seeds, gardening supplies, and multiple books on gardening.
You start your garden the very next day, spending hours outside in the sun, trying to get your little garden to look like the ones in the pictures.
It takes all week to get it going properly, but you’re proud of your work, bringing Sarah out after school on friday and showing her all the different plants that will grow.
Now you’re sitting at the dining room table, soft music playing while your fingers fidget anxiously and your mind flutters to your daughter.
“She’s alright, darling. Tony and Pepper will take good care of her, I promise. And they know to call at the first sign of trouble.” You take a deep breath and nod, pushing the food on your plate around with your fork as anxiety courses through you.
It’s your baby girl’s first sleepover.
“I just... I’ve never really been away from her. Every night we read a bedtime story and she gives me a hug and two kisses goodnight. What if she has a nightmare, Steve? W-what if she wakes up and she’s scared because she doesn’t know where she is o-or where we are? What if-”
“Honey,” he cuts you off, a gentle smile on his face.
“It’s going to be okay, I promise. This is just as good for you as it is for her. You’ve got separation anxiety. But it’s all gonna be okay, I promise.” You take a couple more deep breaths, fighting tears.
You miss your daughter.
“Stand up,” Steve orders.
Your eyes flash up to him, nervous for a completely new reason now as you slowly rise to your feet.
He walks around the table, eyes unreadable until he stands in front of you.
The record player whispers Paul Anka, and for a moment that’s all you can hear is the sound of his voice singing out softly.
Steve takes one of your hands gently in his, the other hand finding your waist and tugging you softly against his body.
“Dance with me,” he murmurs. It’s not a command like you thought it would be, no. It’s a request.
A hardly whispered plea for you to dance with him, and you don’t have it in you to deny him.
You’re tense as you nod your agreement, shoulders tight and back stiff as he slowly starts to sway the two of you to the music.
His hand is so gentle on the small of your back, holding you so tenderly that you can’t help but relax in his hold, your tense muscles loosening up.
You slowly lean your head against his chest, closing your eyes and basking in the comfort of being held so softly by him.
He lets out a small breath of relief, a smile tugging at his lips as he hugs you even closer to his body, lips pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head before his chin rests atop it, his own eyes fluttering closed.
He leads the dance, and for a beautifully perfect moment, you feel comfortable and at home in his arms.
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buckleyx · 3 years
Text
HERO E.B
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Author’s note: I don't think im emotionally ready for Buck begins
Warnings: a bit of angst but fluff at the end
Summary: After a long day as 911 operator you go and find comfort in the person you love the most.
masterlist
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A hero.
It was a title and a word that was said to you almost daily.
A hero.
The first time you heard it it was special, like a magical moment. A feeling of happiness storming through your veins as the words left the callers lips.
You got a call, one of the first in your career to be precisely. A building was falling apart and you were the person to help them stay calm and notify the fire department, they followed your instructions and made it out alive.
You did it.
You saved their lifes.
But still, it often felt like you were the villain in someones story. The person who couldn't safe them, the one who couldn't get the situation under control or the operator who was too late to respond. A persons life is literally in your hands and it was tearing you apart knowing that is was just as easily slipping away with every ticking second.
You felt quilty, quilty for deciding someone elses fate.
You kept struggling with the feeling for a long time, cropping it up and refusing to talk about it. But one day the endless last words and terrifying screams became too much.
It was time, time to call for help yourself.
Hi baby. Is everything alright."
Your late shift just ended and you were in your car debating whether to go home or go and find comfort in your best friends arms.
The moon hung low in the Los Angeles night sky, keeping watch over the busy city. You could hear some sirens in the distants but you tried blocking them out as best as you could, not wanting to be reminded of the horrific day you had today. You rapidly tapped your steering wheel, a habit you picked up from Buck whenever you got anxious.
"I'm okay." You said softly, feeling bad for calling him this late in the evening. You pushed your phone closer to your ear as if you were afraid to lose his voice. "Can I maybe come over?" You asked carefully. "I don't wanna be alone right now."
"Tough day?"
"Tell me about it."
"Me too." He sighed. "I was just planning on calling you but you beat me to it." He chuckled, making the corners of your mouth turn up at the adorable sound. "I would love for you to come over." He admitted. "I still got some leftovers, if your hungry."
You smiled again at his honesty. "Thank you, Buck. I'll be there in five."
"Drive safe." He said before cutting of the line.
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Bucks eyes lit up as he saw you standing before his door, the stressful events that happened to him, already forgotten. "Thank you for letting me stay." You hugged him tightly, his hand pressing your body closer to his.
The hug was longer then usual as you both finally found your comfort. You nuzzled your face further in his chest, making both of your hearts flutter.
"You can stay here for the night if you want, it's already pretty dark outside and I wouldn't want you driving around this late." He suggested as you nodded. His hands were still firmly placed on your hips as you gazed up to him. His blue eyes blinked in the light as he smirked down at you, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks.
God, you looked beautiful.
He tried his best to stay calm as thousand of butterflies danced around in his stomach. You smiled, bringing your hands to the back of his neck. Your soft fingers played with his hair, a feeling he loved more then anything.
He felt safe.
His head got closer to yours, noses bumping against each other, making you both chuckle.
His hot breath hitting your skin made you shiver slightly but soon nerves turned into excitement and he finally kissed you.
His lips fitted perfectly in yours like two lost puzzle pieces finally finding each other. He smiled as you deepend the kiss, tugging slightly on his hair.
You couldn't help the happiness crossing throug your body as you finally were sure.
He was it,
Your light at the end of the tunnel, that spark of hope in the dark but most importantly,
your hero.
And you were his,
his hero.
My requests are open! :)
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kisslettrs · 3 years
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haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o
featuring: lev, kuroo, suna
a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔
warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞
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→ HAIBIA LEV
you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.
lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.
“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him
“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.
“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”
you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.
“lev haiba!”
he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.
“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”
before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.
fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.
[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]
you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.
as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.
you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.
schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.
“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”
he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.
“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”
you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.
“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.
“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”
and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.
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→ KUROO TETSURO
you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’
however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.
kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.
yeah it didn’t go well uhh
“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”
“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”
you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”
“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”
“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”
it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.
you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”
as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.
next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”
you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?
the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.
you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.
some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.
you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.
[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]
[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]
[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]
choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.
[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.
you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.
Kyanma: ???
Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?
you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj
Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️
you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]
sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.
well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.
“hey y/n.”
“hi kuroo.”
you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”
kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”
“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”
you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.
“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”
“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.
as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.
before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”
fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”
his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”
he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”
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→ SUNA RINTARO
while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.
but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?
suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.
one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand
“what?” he asked.
you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”
you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”
“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”
“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.
this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...
“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”
well damn. his words hurt. a lot.
“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”
you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.
as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?
maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.
you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’
kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”
home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...
you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.
you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”
“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.
“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.
suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.
“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.
“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.
“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”
“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.
wow, this was even more rare.
you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.
suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.
as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”
you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.
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anotherhellchild · 3 years
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📁❤️ I really like your head canons and wanted to see if you had any about Bakugou’s home life
oh boy okay well, tbh im in camp 'mitsuki and masaru bakugou are assholes' so disclaimer right away: This is not a mitsuki/masaru friendly post.
also, i got most my inspiration/ideas from Sif, her hc's and fics are amazing.
This is gonna be very general probably and also pretty messy/ all over the place but if anyone wants me to elaborate or clarify then just lmk. 
ALRIGHT SO, first and foremost, i think the bakugou’s r really neglectful. Theyve always worked very busy jobs together in the fashion industry and they go on lots of work trips and stuff. i think that from the moment they deemed it possible, mitsuki and masaru have been letting katsuki stay home alone for long periods of time. as katsuki kept getting older and more independent (which he had to be) I imagine theyd gradually start leaving for longer and longer. 
also, i think that the communication in the house is TERRIBLE. like, often times mitsuki and masaru would just not inform katsuki of their whereabouts and katsuki wouldnt inform them of his either cause,, nobody ever asked/cared. So most of the time katsuki’d just find out his parents are gone whenever theyre literally not there and then its just like, ‘shit, nobody made dinner’. or smth. 
and, obviously, the bad communication does not stop there. I feel like especially when he was younger, mitsuki would contradict herself on lots of things (as lots of parents do) like ”you are the child and i am the adult, therefore you must listen to me” but then she’s also like “You are not a child, stop acting like one and get your shit together”. Little katsuki would get so frustrated at this and so confused. I imagine that eventually he’d realize he can never be in the right with her, and thats when he starts resenting her a lot which builds up.
oh btw, I should mention; i dont think katsuki was planned at all. I dont think that mitsuku or masaru wanted to have a kid but then they did and it kinda threw their life around (obviously). mostly for mitsuki i think this effected her career quite heavily for a time and she’s blamed that on katsuki ever since. so she’s always resented him on a level.
But yeah, as i was saying, i think mitsuki and masaru r those types of people that were just never fit to be parents. they dont have the patience or care that u need for a child and it shows. I think masaru is the type to ignore and mitsuki is the type to get frustated too easily and lose her cool. So whenever katsuki was being ‘annoying’ or ‘bad’ he’d immediately be shut up or ignored. No time for explanations or reasoning.
Now, if we go back a step,, katsuki is a super independent kid. a consequence to this is that he’s had to teach himself a lot of things and sometimes those things just arent right. He doesnt know that though because he’s had to collect his knowledge from all over the place, which he thinks is normal. so then for example: maybe he’s fought with a kid at school and the bakugou’s are called. They’re both extremely mad at him but he doesnt understand why. If he gets hit, why would he not be allowed to hit too? Is that not how it works? WOuldn’t that be unfair?
but yeah, because he’s basically had to figure the world out himself, with mostly bad influences to look up to. he’s got a pretty messed up worldview. 
Now, i ALSO think that despite mitsuki and masaru not really caring about katuski in general, they DO want to have that ‘we have a good kid’ status, yknow? like, they cant have katsuki embarrassing them or something. I think he’d be dragged along to a lot of places he never wanted to go (dinners, fashion shows, whatever) and forced to wear all fancy clothes and act all neat with no reward. consequences for ‘being a little bitch’ as his mom puts it, are not pretty.
he’s a smart and talented kid too though, and it seems, even to masaru and mitsuki, like he doesnt have to do much for it. which makes them think he’s lazy and stuff and thats not good. so they expect him to work for everything he does at 100% . again, consequences are not pretty.
generally as well, i think there are so many fights in the house. katuski speaks up whenever he disagrees with bullshit and even though he’s never won an argument, he’s always wanted to. so he’s not going to stop. 
so yeah, basically theyre strict, neglectful and abusive. There are extreme’s they go to, and because katsuki is just the type to disobey shit he doesnt agree with, those are often used.
It’s been said by Sif before, but i really like the idea that todoroki and bakugou both had bad childhoods but in opposite directions. Thats probably the best way to describe it.
Actually, Ive had a fic in my head for a long time that would partly focus on katsuki’s entire childhood and kinda explain my thoughts on it
But anyway, this is getting ridiculously long and i probably have more i could say plus i can definitely go into more detail. as you can see though, my thoughts are a fucking mess. hopefully this made some sense. again, let me know if u wanna know more! :)
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nostalgicks · 2 years
Text
its like 4am im not proofreading any of this sorry BUT maddie buckley and eddie diaz bestieism are my life now heres how theyre actually bffs + my headcanons
S2:
they had heard a lot about each other through buck and even met for the first time through buck
buck invites some of the 118 to come help maddie move into her new apartment, and eddie and chim agree because oh it would be nice to meet buck’s sister and welcome her into their little found family
maddie and eddie bond over being new to the city (awkwardly, because theyve just met err) and then maddie exchanges numbers with eddie n chim.
they dont really text or talk to each other until eddies ceremony in 2x18
the day of the ceremony they have many laughs together. maddie meets chris and ADORES him.
aunt maddie promises to take him out for ice cream one day because seriously she cant get over how cute he is.
S3:
so that s2-3 hiatus where buck and chris magically become best friends? oh yeah eddie and maddie grow a little closer too
i just know when theyre at barbecues they will find each other and GET ON that gossip ! [insert reality tv show here] was pretty crazy last night eddie did you see it yet?
theyre like party friends at this point like they wont arrange a separate time to hang out yet but they love each others company.
eddie hears things about maddie and maddie will hear things about eddie and theyll go “hey theyre kinda like me lol hah”
“what about eddie?” “wheres maddie?” “hows eddie doing?” “maddie doin good?” every once in a while. very subtly..
theyre both going through it and need help god help their poor souls
they still ask about each other after s3a, but become a little distant
like maybe theyre left alone at an outing and now they have no choice but to make mean but gently mean jokes to one another.
“eddie dont encourage him to go to war!” was one of many interactions that night
they dont really get time to talk at mays graduation party
S4:
QUARANTINEEE eddie sees maddie everywhere.
but not in person. eddie sees maddie through chimneys laptop so often that sometimes chimney will run to the bathroom while on call and he will take that opportunity to ask maddie how shes doing. how maddies little mango is doing.
“hey just saying you should name the kid eddie. you know, because im your friend and all 😁” then maddie will roll her eyes. and then ask about christopher.
they start to text wooo go guys utilize those numbers!!!
most of the time its nothing important theyll play imessage games and maddie will ask him for his book and movie recommendations
maddie and eddie bond and share their thoughts on not seeing the people they love and how much of a toll the pandemic is taking on their mental health vrrooom
but they only let these secrets out at NIGHT when everyones asleep except those two . because his brain wont let him sleep and bucks snoring like a tracker and for maddie the baby is keeping her ass UP ⬆️ no sleep for this mama
eddie returns home and a few months later chimney goes back too. when buck jumps from the diaz house to the buckley han apartment he always brings gifts that have come from the other.
maddie bakes for chris and eddie, and eddie will . ah well he returns the Tupperware.
whenever he comes over he offers to help fix maddie’s pipes (because he feels like returning tupperware isnt enough) but after she runs out of things in her house that need repairing she MAYBE starts shoving muffins down her drain so he can come over more LOL
eddie notices and decides not to confront her about it. he just makes a reminder to tell chimney later
chimney is also playing an important role in this 67 step plan to bring eddie diaz to the buckley han house. him and maddie are in this together
then soon enough eddie makes a habit of dropping by maddies apartment to buy her scented candles and sneak her starbucks. maddie does the same but with big dad sweaters she found in the clearance section at walmart. its a very comfy cozy couple few months
oh and eddie gets a girlfriend and then buck and taylor and brain explodes there is no tiimmee 
but eddies respectful towards his friends see he congrats her on her new baby and he may be a busy guy but he will never get sick of the baby pictures maddie spams in his dms
chris enjoys the jee spams just as much as he does
ouch well eddie gets shot i guess. crap. well darn what are we- oh and maddie has ppd.
S5:
eddies high on painkillers always sleepy and maddie is trying her best to make it through the day.
a few weeks into his recovery eddie requests buck to drive him to maddie and chimneys. chris is at school and chimneys at work and well why would buck deny
maddies surprised to see him, but not shocked. she makes them lemon green tea while eddie gently plays with jee for the first time (!)
he is dying from cuteness overload shes grabbing his hand and her fingers are soo tiny oH my god she made a noise
they sit on the couch on opposite sides just silently drinking their tea and watching jee squirm and make silly noises with her tongue. its kind of therapeutic
maddie breaks the silence with her thoughts “i don’t know if im doing this right, eddie.”
eddie lets her speak and lets her pause to catch herself for as long as she wants.
he understands how it feels to not know if youre doing the best for your own. not on maddies level, but thats something they do have in common.
he makes sure to give her the softest hug he can give her with his one arm and remind her before he leaves that shes an amazing mother.
they promise to hang out together more.
eddie didn’t actually know she was leaving L.A. for a bit. he heard the news and prayed that she was safe and working on recovery.
with maddie gone, the hole in his heart feels a little more hollow. christopher’s nightmares coming back and his own fears overtaking him, him leaving the 118 for his son, he feels like he needs someone he can talk to about this. someone on the same boat as him.
shortly after maddie comes back, eddies driving to her apartment every WEEK.
ofc he understands shes still not fully recovered, so he gives her her space for a little while and lets her settle back in with chimney and jee
once she sees him at the door, she instantly goes in for a hug, lighting up at the sight of him.
eddie spends that afternoon helping her finish all of her background chores, and then they reward themselves with the new tea eddie had brought over
turns out they hate the way it tastes so they dump it out and go back to their regular lemon green tea with ginger.
eddie cheers her up by surprising her with whip cream and caramel syrup. even if it kind of doesnt make sense, it makes her laugh
“eddie is your new job at a coffee shop?!? how are you so good at this?”
and eddie continues to spoil jee yun with toys while aunt maddie does the same for chris
so basically if you’ve read this much THEY’RE A FAMILY eddie and maddie have got so much in common man they’re always bonding over something. frank who? i only know eddie and maddie
+ chimney
chimney comes home from his shift one night and finds maddie and eddie leaning against the couch on the floor with the tv playing some dramatic reality show. he walks closer to find them both passed out. the first thing he does is take a picture to tease them later, and then he collapses face first on the couch beside them for a long nap.
+ buck
eddie and maddie will invite buck to their little playdates sometimes. sometimes he invites himself. usually when he does come tho, he’s forced to become the chef for them, since they both cant really cook that well 😓
+ karen
karen has always been a close friend of eddie and maddie but creating this book club has been the single greatest idea theyve ever come up with
christopher denny and jee yun playdates all the time plus its like a mini potluck party every time they meet up
theres no book club most of the time they drink wine and joke around eat food maybe bake too. just living their life as they should!
knitting Oh my god knitting is so their thing. “christopher come here let me see if this would fit you” “aunt karen please i have 9 already can you make me a hat instead”
17 notes · View notes
wizkiddx · 3 years
Note
i saw that you at least used to write for harry could u do another? like maybe im just a basic bitch but 'only one bed' trope or sm
Summary: honestly just me shitty attempt at the only one bed thing ahah with Harry Holland x reader
no warnings I don’t think apart from my ramabling :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God you were groggy. It had been a long 16 hour flight and you were well and truly completely over this day. Once you’d had some proper sleep, no doubt you will be beyond excited to explore the forest and beaches of this remote island in Indonesia. You were certain it was beautiful, even if you’d arrived in the dead of night so you couldn’t see any of the majesty yet. It was one of the joys of being Tom’s makeup artist - travelling the world and being paid for it? A literal dream. 
Except maybe the previous 24 hours. The Holland name carried a lot of weight in the world, but not enough to control typhoons across the tropics - there were some limitations to his power. And yes first class lounges were nice but none had beds to crash on during the 6 hour weather delay. The four of you (Tom, Harry, Andrew and yourself)  ended up camping out in a out-the-way corner. Tom got the long sofa; Andrew in one of those weird egg line chairs; you and Harry splayed on the floor. Why you’d had to get up at 4 am to catch a flight that was now not departing till 12 hours later actually hurt to think about - especially because you’d all gone out for a meal the night before that had inevitable went a lot later than planned. 
Two connecting flights with a very angry baby later, the four of you were checking in to the only hotel on the island - which was now almost exclusively filled with the production team for Tom’s newest movie. It wasn’t especially big-budget with massive million pound overheads, instead a smaller scale indie film (that you privately thought might earn Tom a number of accolades). But yeh, shooting on an island that received almost no tourism meant everything was different to the usual. None more so than for Tom and his team (including you) who he normally would look after very well, with the nicest hotel rooms or rental homes. 
The hotel was basic, you’d known that before you arrived but seeing is believing is it not? Most entertaining though, was seeing Tom’s face. Andrew was a well travelled older guy, he had stayed in some shitholes in his life. Equally you and Harry had both travelled when you were younger (you through inter railing and him in australia), so had stayed in hostels before. But for Hollywood star Tom Holland? The way he tilted his head to the side as if to say ‘really this place?’ did lift your spirits momentarily. 
Andrew had got his key first, bidding you all good night with a grunt, then Tom - who still seemed confused as to the whole arrangements. It left you and Harry at the small dingy reception, the warm glow of an old lantern-esque light fixing illuminating the place. The guy behind the desk was a smiley local and greeted you warmly, if incorrectly.
“Ah and finally the couple I see!” He spoke with a thick accent but still very clear English which had you questioning if this was just a translational error. Harry looked at you instantly, his eyes wide which made you scoff - him joining in, shaking his unruly curly mop emphatically.
“No no we um… we aren’t together.” All the while Harry pointed between the two of you, communicating through actions rather than just the language, given that you were both the very typical Brits abroad who hadn’t learnt the language of the place they were visiting. 
“Still under Holland name?” The guy asked in a perplexed manner, flicking through a book filled with cursive scribbles and scanning to see if he’d made a mistake. He checked one, then looked up nervously before checking the same page once again- you saw where this was going. ”We, we only have couples room down for you though? 3 double rooms is the booking for Holland.” 
It was late, you both stunk of a combination of plane and BO, you both just wanted your individual and respective beds. 
“Well can we get another room then?” Harry didn’t quite snap but there was still an impatientcy to his voice, which came out whenever he was a little agitated. Seeing the slightly worried look the mans eyes, you leaned onto the desk with a genuine smile. 
“Sorry we know its last minute and its not your fault, we’ve just had a really long flight.”
“I am terribly sorry miss but we are only small hotel and Hollywood has filled us up. I have no other rooms. I am truly sorry sir, ma’am.” The guy went from looking worried to terrified as Harrys jaw tensed up, you naturally squeezed his arm to try and ground him, instantly deciding that you’d just work it out. 
“No no it’s not your fault, don’t worry we’ll figure it out. Can I just get the key?”
Harry stepped back and let youtakeover proceedings, signing all the insurance documents etc and asking the man about the breakfast arrangements and such, though you saw him furiously typing on his phone and by the buzzing in your pocket- presumed he was messaging the group of you Tom, Andrew and himself. 
Once finished the guy pointed you on your way, up two flights of stairs and down a hall. The whole time Harry was muttering about how useless the other two were for not replying and also for making the wrong booking in the first place. If only you hadn’t been the last two to checkin, then it would’ve been someone else’s problem.
He felt especially guilty just because you were the only girl-  he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, hence why he was trying to locate his brother so they could share tonight till they got it figured out. The tension, combined with sleep deprivation, was palpable as you both walked in silence toward the room - Harry was trying to formulate a plan in his head as they did so. And honestly? You just couldn’t be bothered to deal with it. So, once you reached the door 57 holding the physical key (old school, rather than a key card) you just decided to address it. 
“Will you chill please?” 
“Well if my idiot broth-“
“Oh leave him be for god sake. If you’re okay with it I really don’t mind sharing with you tonight?” Not bothering to laugh at his slightly shocked expression with mouth hanging a little open, you fiddled with the key until the lock clicked open. From the entrance you had a pretty clear view of the whole room and… well, lets just say dated would be a fair expression - when compared to what you were used to? The floor was tiled and the bed was a small double, with some funky and slightly washed out prints of blue and red on the cover. The pillows looked a little limp, more like glorified pieces of cardboard than anything fluffy and comfortable. The walls were that yellowy magnolia shade that everyone in the UK had gone insane for in the 80s and there was an old school wooden wardrobe in the corner. 
Home for 5 weeks. 
With a shrug of your shoulders you entered, dumping your personal and work suitcases by the far wall carelessly - the higher priority action being to collapse on the bed. Doing so with an overdramatic huff, you let your eyes close but payed special attention to the delayed footsteps of Harry as he entered, then the slight creaking noise as he perched on the other side of the bed - no doubt looking at you, at least slightly fearfully. 
The relationship between you and Harry was complex to say the least. Well no… it should be, not on the face of it. You had met through work and made friends. And you wished it was that simple but alas, nothing ever really is. When you’d first worked with Tom you were in the tail end of a relationship you had long since forgotten about - literally meaningless, not worth the time and effort you’d put into it. From the start you’d had a feeling Harry was more interested in you than the average co-worker (even if your job and therefore co-workers were anything but normal and average) but you were in a relationship so nothing ever came. 
Then almost as if synchronised, just as you got out your relationship, Harry threw himself in the deep end with a girl he’d met through his family friends. Then the roles were somewhat reversed, you now spent a good chunk of your day just entertaining yourself with thoughts of the curly headed, slightly awkward, very-passionate-about-tea-making Holland. The cliche is so real - your always want what you cannot have. 
However, a couple months ago his relationship had fizzled and faded away leaving both of you in a sort of no mans land. The sort of not wanting to ruin the friendship situation. The subject was never broached by either you - except you assumed he was being tormented in a similar way to how you were by his big brother and Andrew. Never publicly, yet whenever you found yourself alone in a room with one of them (being Tom’s makeup artist that happened often enough) there would always be a sly dig. The chemistry was  so ‘obvious even a blind man could see it’. Somehow though, weeks of this and your were still stuck. Stuck in the middle. 
“You sure you’re alright with this?” His voice was gruffer and hoarser from the long journey but you could hear the self-consciousness and naivety in his tone, without having to peel your eyes open and look at his face. 
“I know your not a murder and plus, we shared the airport floor this morning… this is pretty much the same.” He hummed in acknowledgement so you carried on “and plus your pint sized.” That earned you a playful shove in the side as you sniggered, before pulling yourself up so you we now sitting next to him, legs hanging off the edge of the bed. His brown eyes searched deeply into yours, as if physically checking for any hint of regret or hesitation. “Don’t even dare offering to go on the floor.” 
“Okay okay okay!” Holding his hands up in surrender, you both laughed, breaking the peace of the late night of the remote Indonesian island. Once an impressive yawn interrupted you though, Harry proclaimed it was time for bed and shooed you into the bathroom to get changed and sorted. 
Honestly you were too tired and lazy to dig out your cleanser and skin stuff, instead opting to just splash a bit of water on your face before swapping into your pj shorts and an old tattered oversized tee. Once done you and Harry swapped, him coming out a couple minutes later in basketball shorts and a black loose fitting tee. 
It wasn’t awkward so to speak, more a sort of excited-tense atmosphere, which there was no doubt Harry was mainly responsible. The boy was jittery and on edge, which to put simply, you didn’t have the energy to reciprocate. 
With a quiet wish of goodnight to each other, Harry flicked off the bedside lamp and you both rolled to your respective edges of the bed, a large space of no mans land between you. In the middle. You know the first time you share a room with someone and you overthink everything? When you don’t want to move about or fidget too much in case it disturbs the other? When your listening intently to their breathing, in the hope it’ll even out and only then will you feel able to fall asleep yourself? 
Well it doesn’t work when both of you are doing it. When both of you are professional over thinkers. 
God knows how long it took till you gave up, favouring sleep over your worries and concerns. So you flipped over, no doubt rocking the whole bed, turning to face his back that was still huddled almost teetering off the edge of the bed. The only light within the whole room was that coming under the actually scarily large gap between the floor and the door to the hallway. It was just enough to see the back of Harry’s curls and you must’ve fallen asleep trying to trace all the torturous and windy routes of the strands.
///////////
In the morning the process of waking up didn’t come easy to you as normal for many reasons; the long day prior; the jet lag; the weird surroundings. So you stayed in this sort of blissful haze for probably longer than you should. Half aware but not really; half asleep but not quite. In the middle  of sleep and alertness. Therefore it took you longer than it should have to notice the extra weight on the dip of your waist. Not anything alarming, just a presence you were absolutely not used to. It was only when you shifted a bit to lie further on your back, that enough of a stimulus from the added pressure made you actually open your eyes blearily. And sure enough, a limp hand looked to have casually and unconsciously been thrown over your side. 
As if in slow motion, you traced the arm backwards - first with your eyes, but then having to twist your neck too. Only then could you fully see the browny ginger haired boy who was lowkey spooning you? It was certainly a way to fully wake you up, breath halted to a stand still in your lungs, in fear of disturbing him and having to confront what would almost certainly be an awkward situation. 
There was still a safe hands width distance between the two of you except for the rogue arm. Harry’s head was placed to the edge of his pillow, mouth slightly parted as his breathing slightly tickled the wispy hairs on the back of your neck. He looked so peaceful and calm - a difference to the normal Harry who, even on a good day, took great pleasure in meticulously picking things apart and being a bit cynical. It was part of his ‘charm’; but seeing him like this was a type of vulnerability he rarely chose to show. 
To be fair he was asleep, he dint realise he was exposing himself in this way.
Finding yourself a little transfixed (a bit creepy but hey) on the natural curves and definition of his face, you ever so carefully rolled over in the bed to face him. It stopped you from craning your neck and gave the sleepy boy a slight nudge, making him tense his arm a little more tightly round you. 
He settled quickly though, giving you ample opportunity to just observe what was going on . Both right in front of you… and what the hell was going on in your head. Because to be honest it was an overwhelming amount of emotion thoughts for the early morning. 
Somehow you must’ve eventually drifted off once again because the next thing you were aware of was a shuffling from immediately next to you. This time though, you were instantly aware of exactly the situation you found yourself in and chose to keep up the pretence of sleep - a little interested in how Harry would play it. 
You heard a small gasp, having to suppress a chuckle at what you imagined Harry’s sleepy and panicked face looked like. That lasted a couple of moments, before you felt him painstakingly slowly peel his hand from your waist and if you were being 100% honest… you heart sort of sank. 
What you had been expecting?- you don’t know and really there was really no reason to be disappointed. Yet, you still felt this deflated and disappointed feeling, hit your chest especially hard. Perhaps it was because of your focus on that emptyness that you forgot you were supposed to be pretending to be asleep./.
Because when he had delicately brushed the side of your face to tuck a rogue bit of hair behind your ear - your eyes flickered open.  Like a rabbit caught in headlights, Harry froze, his hand still hovering over your jaw. Equally, you didn’t know what to do. Because really… do friends tuck hair behind the others ears? And do friends look at each other with this matched expression of confusion and fear? 
It took a painfully long time (though in reality was probably only a matter of seconds) before the boy retracted his hand, suddenly sitting up from his reclined position down at you. Mirroring his actions, you both ended up sitting, facing the opposite wall, bodies closer than they needed to be in the double bed. Both still very much in the middle. 
“I er-“
“-No no don’t… was nice of you” He had been about to apologise which you didn’t want to hear. You didn’t want to hear ‘ I didn’t mean it’ - you wanted him to mean it. In response Harry nodded jerkily, and from your peripheries, noticed he was searching your face for any sign of emotion.
“Still can’t believe this all happened… I-I didn’t disturb you too much did I?” He sounded really nervous. You were never like this with each other. So static and forced. 
“No no… I slept really good actually.” Your register was quieter, waiting till you’d finished speaking before looking over at him with a self conscious smile. 
“Ah I’m glad… I um-I did too.” The silence returned and the atmosphere just felt sharp. It felt like you were quite literally walking either side of a knife edge. It made you chew on your bottom lip, playing with the slightly frayed edges of the vintage quilt. 
“Y/n- I look…” He’d bolted upright and voice was more raised than normal for the morning. “This is gonna sound so fucking weird, especially cos we’re literally in the same bed but... but I was thinking we could maybe go on a hike or something together?” What he seemed to be suggesting didn’t match the level of panic that was conveyed in his body language which confused you. And what the bed had to do with it… was yet to make sense in your head. 
“I think Andrew said we’re getting some tour of island this afternoon so-“
“ I kinda meant just you and me.” 
The penny dropped and it had you focusing all energy on processing what was happening - understandably causing Harry to only worry more with the lack of response. “I’m sorry if I’ve ruined ever-“
“No I-I….I’d really like that too.”
“Oh er… well… really?” The sheer shock made you giggle, feeling the two of you sliding back into the normal dynamic.
“Normally a boy has to buy me a drink before he gets in my bed but….” A mischevious smirk that spread across your lips gave Harry the final confirmation that just maybe you were interested too, making him scoff and quietly chuckle.
It was odd; mainly because this was the two of you being incredibly vulnerable and honest with each other - something that you hadn’t allowed yourself to be for fear of messing things up. And then one lazy morning, both with morning breath and slightly puffy eyes, it changed. For the first time when you looked at him, he really saw - and vice versa. You were still in the middle of something, yet it was completely different. 
This time you were in the middle together figuratively as well as literally. In the middle of the bed, closer than you needed to be, but not wanting to retreat - while you both just looked shyly and bashfully at each… Eventually you lips hesitantly met in the middle. 
127 notes · View notes
xsugarysweetsx · 3 years
Note
Could I please request an angsty Armin x reader 🥺👉👈 where maybe the reader dies in childbirth, (preferably twins but they could be whichever gender), and so he has to deal with the loss of his wife and the world falling apart, a n d he has to make sure his precious children are safe— im so aorry if this doesnt make sense but thank you
A/N; haven’t written angst in a minute!
Please enjoy~🍰
Warnings; childbirth ; mentions of death ; Angst;
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“Y/N.....please open your eyes..” he said in a strained voice a she gazed down at your motionless face “w-we have two beautiful girls now.....th-they look like...like y-you...”
There was no doubt a piece of him had groans and died that day. He gained two daughters for the price of his wife. The woman he loved and adored since he has met her. You had spent hours in that bed trying to bring your children into the world.
When you were pregnant he was excited to be a father. To be able to teach and nurture his child with you would be a dream. Although, the world they would come I to wouldn’t be a pretty one. War and death surrounding every inch of it. But he was determined! To show his children the world was wonderful. You would do it together!
Sadly, it was all but a dream. You spent about 6 hours in labor with no progression. He’s seen you pain before, but not like this...you cried, screamed and cried some more. After another 5 hours you and given birth to your baby.
He was there the whole time. He held your hand, wiped your face and gave you courage. He took every insult you threw at him. You were pain and he could never imagine what it was like.
You were absolutely drained from it but it was over. That was until more pain came in. The doctor informed him you were having twins and you had to push again. You were so tired you could barely keep your eyes open. He felt as though something was off. From your weak grip, to his baby crying, to the doctor telling you to push.
And just like that, everything had slipped form his fingers. When you second baby was born you fell back and panted. Only they were shallow, and you were barley conscious. He tried to coax you to wake up and say anything. But he got nothing in return. He simply sat there with his daughters and stared at you. Almost in hopes of you waking up again.
But.....you were gone. The love of his life, the mother of his children. Gone.
That was a year ago today. Now he sat near the window of his small home. He watched at the rain his the window. His tea had gone cold long ago. After you had passed nothing had been easy. Especially taking care of two babies.
Bella and Jade were the lights of his life. Bella had his hair and features and Jade had yours, but they both had your beautiful E/C eyes. Despite the world they lived in, they made everything better. Everything he did, was for them. Whenever he had to leave for the day he dreaded leaving them with the sitter. He was living a dangerous life and he couldn’t bare the thought of leaving them.
Yet at the same time it was for them. For their future. It’s what you would have wanted after all
“Oh Y/N......I wish you were here...” he whispered as he let the tears fall. No one had dared to tell him to suck it up and move on. They all knew just how much he loved you. No matter how cruel the world was, they didn’t have the heart to do it.
He thought back to when you had met in the survey corps. You were the kindest person there. You saw he was struggling and falling behind and offered help. With just one act, he had fallen head over heels for you. He was never good at romance so it took him a while before he could ask you out on a date. In fact, your first kiss was after he was given the injection because of all the pent up emotions. After that your dates were more often and eventually he proposed.
Your wedding...you looked so angelic. He thought he was dreaming, then you took his hand in yours and he was grounded. He was actually marrying the woman he loved, the girl of his dreams.
Being brought out of his thoughts by the sound of his baby crying. He stands from his seat and heads to the nursery. In it was a single crib, since you were expecting only one. Either way Jade and Bella shared the crib just fine. Looking in the crib Jade was a bit fussy. Her cheeks red and her eyes watery staring up at her father. 
“Hey Jade..what’s wrong?“ he whispered picking her up and cradling her close to him “Did the storm wake you?“ he asked gently rocking her “It’s okay papa’s here.“
As much as he would want to isolate himself and process everything, his girls needed him. He walked to the chair that rested in the corner as he bounced her softly
“I know..it’s hard,“ he sits down carefully and rests back “you must know what today is. I’m sorry your mother isn’t here....she would have without a doubt be better at this than I am. You look so much like her Jade....“ he whispered tracing her small features.
 “I’m sorry I’m not the best father...but I’ll get better for you and your sister. So you can have a happy life“ he kisses her forehead as her eyes droop back into a sleep state. He wasn’t a bad father but he thought himself as so. He thought he could have been better for them but he was already doing a good job.
Walking back to her crib, he carefully takes a hold of Bella. He walks to his room he once shared with you. He would lay there and hold your pillow close to him, you scent ever so faintly still there. Laying his daughters on your side he climbed in and covered them in the blanket
“Don’t worry...papa will always protect you“
```
“Papa?“ one of his girls asked coming into the living room with something in her hands 
“Who is this?” she asked
“Yeah papa!” her sister followed 
Putting down the book he was reading he brings Bella into his lap. His heart dropped slightly seeing the picture. It was the first picture you took together, you were a few months along but you were the happiest in the picture. Armin was sat next to you with one arm around you and the other rested on your bump along with your hand. 
“*sigh* this is a picture of your mommy“ he sighed holding her tighter 
“Wanna see“ Jade said tip toeing near the chair. He then brings her up into his lap as well and shows her the photo “She’s pretty papa“
“Yeah she really is, but you’re both just as beautiful as your mother was.“ he sniffed a little 
“Don’t cry papa“ Bella pouted wiping at his cheeks making him chuckle a bit 
“It’s okay Bell, I just miss you mother very much. She loved you both very much, and she spent a very long time and worked very hard to bring you both into the world“ he points to your belly “See? All four of us were here but you both were in her belly at the time”
“Really?“ Jade asked 
“Both of us?“ Bella asked with wide eyes. These two never fail to make him smile
“Yes both of you...your mother was a beautiful very kind woman and I know, she would have loved everyday with you two.“
He was still very hurt and lonely with your absence but, he had his girls. They were like having two of you. Even on his lowest of days, they find some kind of way to make him smile or feel warm. The same warmth he felt with you. 
Yes, you were gone but he was never truly alone
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I hope this is what you were looking for!❤️
214 notes · View notes
sevlgi · 4 years
Text
not-so-sweet secret
requested: yes
group: blackpink
pairing: jennie x fem!reader
genre: angst, fluff
contents: school!au, rich girl!jennie, secret relationship
warnings: none
synopsis: What you had with Jennie Kim used to be your sweet little secret. But recently, as Jennie starts publicly dating someone else, it doesn’t seem so sweet anymore.
a/n: yes you can! I love this prompt, thanks so much for requesting! also thank you all so much for 700 followers 😭 you guys have questionable taste but I love you all
word count: 2.6k
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You always knew that what you had with Jennie Kim would have to stay a secret.
To be honest, you had no idea how she had even developed feelings for you. While she as the queen of the school, you were a nobody, just another wallflower who admired her. Somehow, she liked you enough to ask you out, and everything began from there.
At first, the idea of a clandestine relationship exhilarated you. The thought of sneaked kisses behind closed doors, of weekend dates in places no one would recognize you, managed to make your heart beat faster.
And that’s exactly how it was at first. You stayed late after school so that Jennie could drive you home in a car that smelled like her perfume, and you sneaked out at night for the first time to see the stars with her. She stared at you in your shared classes, and you slipped notes into each others’ lockers, each one of hers signed with a kiss printed in lipstick.
It was all you could have ever asked for, even if both of you pretended the other didn’t exist in the presence of other people. Sure, it wasn’t ideal that you couldn’t sit together at lunch and share food like other couples, or that Jennie could barely give you a passing glance in the hallways, but it was enough to know how she genuinely laughed, how she liked to hug the people she really loved.
You wanted to be with her publicly, but you also wanted to give Jennie time. You didn’t want to rush her into doing anything she wasn’t ready to do, even if it meant you had to suffer in silence because of it.
In private, she was the sweetest girlfriend you could have ever asked for. She visited your house almost every afternoon and brought you fresh-baked sweets, and she cooked dinner for both of you whenever your parents weren’t home. Jennie stayed over so often that you kept a special blanket and pillow for her right next to yours.
But in public, she was always a whole other person. Whenever you went on dates outside, even if the two of you were in a different town, Jennie hesitated to even stand to closely to you, to smile that cute gummy smile specially reserved for you.
Especially at school, Jennie hung out with her popular friends, those crazily beautiful and rich kids who never looked your way. When she was with them, she was no better, fake-laughing at insensitive jokes and burning money on designer clothes.
That was the price. To be the butt of those insensitive jokes, to be on the receiving end of falsely sweet smiles and to be unable to love Jennie as much as you wanted. But you were sure it would all be worth it in the long term, as long as you kept your sweet little secret tucked close to your heart.
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“Hey, jagi,” you smiled, getting into the car and tossing your bag at your feet. “It’s so nice to see you.”
Jennie gave you her customary gummy smile, eyes turning into pretty crescent moons. “Hi, baby. You look really pretty today, you know? I wanted to tell you in math, but Eunchae kept talking about her new Mercedes.”
You blushed lightly, kissing her on the cheek as she started the car. “Really, another one? Didn’t she crash the last one while drunk?”
“High,” your girlfriend corrected. “Remember, there was that huge party at Jackson’s place? He got drugs somehow, and Eunhae got so high that she backed her car into a wall.”
Rolling your eyes lightly at the mention of the party, you reminded Jennie, “I wasn’t there, remember? Nobody in their right mind would invite me to a party. Pretty sure they don’t even know my name.”
“Well, they should. You’re the greatest,” Jennie cooed, giving you a big smile. “Although, you don’t like those parties anyway, right?”
“Nah,” you shrugged, looking out the window at all the passing houses. Unsurprisingly, Jennie lived in a different neighborhood than you, hers with a gate for every house and at least 4 expensive cars parked in every driveway. Despite that, she drove you to and from school every day. “Although, your daily recap of who started dating who is pretty funny.”
Jennie laughed lightly, and you could hear your heart beating faster just at the sound of her. You had been dating for so long, but just the tiniest action of hers still managed to make you flustered like crazy. “I know you don’t enjoy it that much, you just like to let me talk.”
“Maybe,” you joked, getting out of the car when it parked at the curb of your house. “Do you wanna come in? I bought the ice cream you like so much, milk flavor.”
She pouted at that, not getting out of the car, which was enough of an answer. “No, sorry, Junsoo made me promise to tutor him in math today. See you tomorrow?”
“See you tomorrow,” you answered, waving as she pulled the car away. You did your best to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach, like a huge stone had been dropped there. It was hard not to get jealous when Jennie routinely hung out with people way better than you, but you always reminded yourself that your girlfriend loved you and would never cheat on you.
Right?
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“Good morning,” Wheein greeted you, sliding into the seat right next to you. You smiled in greeting, still copying the notes down from the board. The girl had been your assigned Chemistry partner for a few months now, and you could maybe call her a friend. 
“Hi, Wheein.”
“You won’t believe what happened today,” the girl started saying. She was a bit gossipy at times, but she was still considerably kind to you, so you always let it slide. “Junsoo started dating Jennie!”
Your head snapped up, your hand slipping and drawing a huge mark over your notes. Wheein winced at the huge black arc on your paper, passing you an eraser. “What? Jennie? Like Jennie Kim?”
“Well, what other Jennies are in this school?” Wheein giggled, cocking her head at you. “Why?”
Jennie. Your girlfriend, Jennie, was dating Im Junsoo, quite possibly the biggest asshole in the entire school. You knew she would do a lot to hide your relationship, but you didn’t think she would go that far. “No reason,” you mumbled, starting to scrub at your paper.
That sweet secret that you kept close to your heart started to feel not so sweet anymore.
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You didn’t want to believe what Wheein said, and that was the only reason you took the long way to lunch and headed by the cluster of benches where Junsoo held court during lunch. At first, you couldn’t see him or Jennie, a group of other popular kids creating a barrier between you and them.
But you heard her voice, that gorgeous voice that only called you ‘jagi’, flirting shamelessly with Junsoo. You wanted to leave, to pretend like you didn’t hear anything, but the crowd shifted just enough for you to see the happy couple, Jennie practically sitting on Junsoo’s stupid lap.
She was definitely flirting with him, practically giving him bedroom eyes in the middle of the cafeteria. Her friends cooed over them, only fueling the stupid smug expression on Junsoo’s stupid face.
Jennie caught a glance of you when she looked up, and you knew that all she could see was betrayal. And that was exactly what you felt as you turned on your heel and walked away.
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You didn’t wait in the parking lot for Jennie that day. Instead, you hitched your bag up on your shoulder and walked home yourself, ignoring your phone when it started buzzing in your pocket halfway.
You didn’t pick up when she called you, and you didn’t read any of the texts she sent. Instead, you spent your time in the garage fixing up your old bike so you could start getting to school easier.
Maybe it was just a rumor, but you had a bad feeling, one that told you something had gone incredibly wrong. You ate dinner with your parents for once instead of going up to your room and video-calling Jennie.
It all felt wrong, but you weren’t ready to talk to her yet. Once you picked up on one of her calls, you knew the truth was going to come out, and you weren’t ready to hear it just yet.
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You managed to avoid Jennie for a full 3 days. To be honest, it wasn’t that hard; you didn’t have many classes together, and there was no way she could get alone enough to approach you.
Saturday was the day you were dreading, because you knew Jennie would show up. That was the day she usually came over, because neither of your parents would be home and neither of hers would be watching her. She didn’t need to be let in, since you had given her a spare key, and she had her own car.
It was only a matter of time before she confronted you, and you were not looking forward to it.
Unsurprisingly, you heard the front door unlocking at exactly 9:33 in the morning on Saturday. Luckily, you were already awake, cooking breakfast in the kitchen a few steps away. “Let yourself in, why don’t you,” you called out sarcastically.
“Y/N?” Jennie answered, setting her keys down on the counter and closing the door behind her. “Have you been ignoring me?”
Blunt as always. You turned around with an eyebrow raised, taking in the sight of her. She looked unfairly good, glowing as always, as if she wasn’t worried at all about the fact that you hadn’t talked to her in days.
Under usual circumstances, you would have immediately rushed to her, kissing her and running your hands through her immaculately curled hair, but instead, you stood there, holding the plate of food. “I don’t know, why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”
It came out more spiteful than you had intended, but it did the trick; your girlfriend flinched, regret settling into the brown eyes you loved so much. “Y/N...”
“Jennie,” you deadpanned, staring right at her. “Go ahead, explain if you can.”
“It’s not real,” she implored, stepping closer to you. “I don’t like Junsoo, not at all! He’s just a friend, please, Y/N.”
“Then why did Wheein tell me the big, amazing news that he’s dating you this morning?” you demanded, not caring about the fact that you sounded like a crazy, jealous girlfriend. 
At the sound of your deskmate’s name, Jennie’s expression changed. Instead of the desperate scrunch of her eyebrows, a jealous twist of her lip brought spite to her eyes. “Wheein? I don’t like that you talk to her so often.”
“Don’t turn this around on me!” you exclaimed, your voice echoing off the walls of your kitchen. “Are you serious? Wheein’s my friend, not anything like your official boyfriend Junsoo. We’re talking about you right now!”
Jennie’s expression changed again, into a slightly pained one as her hands scrunched into the fabric of your shirt. “Y/N, you know I’m not ready to come out yet. I don’t know how people will react, much less my parents.”
“Yeah, I know, and I understand that! But dating someone else right in front of my face? What the hell, Jen?” you challenged her, anger furrowing your brow. 
She chewed on her lower lip and looked down at the floor. “I… I think it’s best if I leave right now. You’re obviously angry, and I get it. I don’t want to fight.”
“Okay, then leave,” you scowled, turning back to your food. You could feel a sour pang in your chest as you heard the door close softly behind your girlfriend, but you ignored it. You had a right to be angry when your girlfriend started publicly dating someone else, but was it worth it to hurt each other like that?
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A week or so passed without you or Jennie speaking a single word to one another. That was one of the things that made the two of you not such a great match; both of you were incredibly stubborn, and neither of you would give up without a fight.
It hurt, of course, but you wanted her to approach you first. After all, it wasn’t your fault that she started dating someone else and ruined your relationship.
Stumbling in on Jennie kissing Junsoo in an empty classroom was the last straw.
“Excuse me, who are you?” the boy demanded, scrambling to stand in the empty classroom. Behind him, Jennie stared at you in horror, lipstick slightly smeared and her blouse just a little bit wrinkled.
You couldn’t help the horror on your face, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to expose Jennie. It was stupid, maybe, wanting to protect her after all the heartbreak she brought to you, but instead of saying anything, you mumbled a hurried “Sorry” and darted right out of the door.
You didn’t expect her to run after you, and you definitely weren’t expecting the hurried clack of heels behind you and the feeling of her warm hand clasped on your wrist. “Y/N, please wait.”
“What…?” you stared at your wrist and then at Jennie’s pleading eyes, begging you to stay. “Um, Jennie?”
“I’m sorry,” she blurted out. “I’m really, really sorry. I never should have acted like I was ashamed of you, I never was! You’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Dumbly, you opened and closed your mouth like a goldfish. Whispers sounded around the two of you, dozens of eyes glued to the two of you as you stood in the middle of the hallway. All you manage to say is “I think we should talk about that” as you pulled Jennie out of the school.
Neither of you talked until you were far enough out of the campus that nobody you recognized was there. “What’s going on? Aren’t you happy with your popular, rich boyfriend?”
Jennie winced, shaking her head pleadingly. “Please, Y/N. I know I don’t deserve it, but I really love you. I want another chance, and I promise I’ll never keep you a secret again. I’ll come out to my parents, and I’ll announce our relationship--”
“I never wanted to force you to come out,” you sighed, stepping closer. You knew that what she did wasn’t right, but you didn’t exactly handle it well either. “I just didn’t want you to date someone just to cover us up. I felt like you were ashamed of me.”
“I promise I’m not. Please, I’ll treat you right this time,” Jennie promised, still holding on to your wrist.
Biting your lip, you looked at the ground. Obviously, you loved Jennie; she was the best person in the world to you, despite what she did, and you didn’t want to let her go. “One more chance,” you suggested, looking back up to her again. “We’re starting over, we’re not continuing our old relationship.”
Jennie nodded fervently, giving you the familiar gummy smile you were so familiar with. “Okay. I’ll take you on a date tomorrow, and I’ll treat you so well. I promise.”
“I’ll be waiting,” you laughed, wrapping your arms around her in a hug and inhaling the familiar sweet scent of her perfume once again.
You felt sweet. Not sweet in the way that your old relationship was, not the kind of sweet that still had a bitter aftertaste. No, you were on cloud nine, and you could stay there forever if you just had Jennie.
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moon-light-jukebox · 4 years
Text
“All you have to do is ask.” Chapter 6 - [Reid x Reader]
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previous chapter // series index // next chapter
Summary: After a long stretch of crimefighting, Reader and Spencer finally get a chance to spend some time together. Reader is ready to give Dr. Reid the proper introduction to female domination and BDSM he asked for.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x (Female) Reader
Category: 85% Smut, 10% Fluff, 5% Angst.
Word Count: 7.9k for Chapter 6
Content Warnings: BDSM, Femdom, thigh riding, pegging, orgasm denial, spitting, slapping, bondage, sub drop, aftercare, brief mention of menstruation (just in case that needs a warning). This chapter is filthy, y’all. 
A/n: Before we begin, I wanted to give a small warning. When I started this story, I wanted to give an honest portrayal of BDSM/Femdom. The before, during, and after are equally important. Sub/Dom drop is a very real and emotional thing. But don’t worry, Reader is always there for our nervous boy.
y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. Italicized text is Reader’s thoughts.
-- Chapter 6 – “Dirty thing” --
Things started to move so fast after Illinois. We arrived home late Sunday night only to be called back out on Monday morning to assist the Tucson Police with a child abduction. We were finishing up the paperwork when the call came in from Florida about a series of car-jackings that weren’t really car-jackings.
It had been more than 2 weeks since that night in the hotel room, and all I had since then were just moments with my Dr. Reid. He sat next to me on the plane sometimes, his hand resting on my thigh when he was certain no one could see. He had placed a kiss on the back of my neck while we were standing in the conference room in Florida. I was surviving on these stolen moments.
Spencer seemed to be happy with our first BDSM experience together, which was a relief to me. I had never had a submissive that was inexperienced before. I felt a great deal of pressure where he was concerned; I knew the toll one bad partner could have on a person.
Some nights Spencer would call me from his hotel room. I would give him instructions on how I wanted him to touch himself; listening to his desperation grow every time he brought himself to the edge and I pulled him back. We experimented a bit with degradation. Learning the complexities of Spencer Reid was quickly becoming one of my favorite pastimes.
After Florida we made a brief stop in Alabama; Hotch informed us that we were only spending one night here and that we would be departing at 7:30 am the following morning. Our unit chief also swore that we were going to have the weekend off; no interruptions. I’ll believe it when I see it, was all I could think. Glancing around to the rest of the team, I could see they agreed with me.
We all had separate rooms that night, thankfully. If I had to listen to Emily snore for one more night, I might lose my mind. I wasn’t sure how JJ did it. Coming into my room, I kicked my shoes off and headed for the bed. I pulled my phone out of my bag before I very unceremoniously flopped down on the bed. The pace of the last 2 weeks was starting to wear on me.
I brought up my text messages when there was a hesitant knock on my door. It was just past 8 pm; it was risky, but I knew it had to be Spencer. I hurried towards the door, throwing it open to reveal his sheepish face. Wasting no time, I grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him into the room.
“What are you doing?” I hissed. “Someone could have seen you.”
"I'm not allowed to go to my friend's room to hang out?"
He has a point. “Well, you never know! It’s better to be safe.”
His full lips turned down into a pout. “I just wanted to spend some time with you. I missed you, y/n.” Is my heart fluttering like that a sign of a medical problem? I wondered. “And not just the…stuff we do. I just…I just missed being with you.”
How could I stay mad at that? “I missed you too, baby.” I took his hand in mine, guiding him over to the bed. He propped up on the pillows beside me, both hands coming up to loosen his tie.
“Can I ask you a question?”
I snorted a bit. “Yeah, Doc, I think you can ask me anything you want at this point.”
“Well,” his cheeks were starting to turn pink. “We’ve been…” I wonder what he’s gonna call it. “…serious”Hmm, that’s fair. “for almost 4 weeks now, 27 days and 14 hours, give or take, depending on when you wanted to say this started.”
“Get to the point, darling.”
“Right,” he muttered. “Well, we’re supposed to have this weekend off. And I don’t have any plans.” He dropped his eyes to his hands which were twisting nervously. “I understand if you have plans, of course. Or you’re just not in the mood. Statistically speaking, given the time we’ve spent together,” your likely to have your period soon-“
“Woah,” I interrupted. “Let’s pump those breaks, Doc.” Spencer looked horrified that he had rambled on so much and equally relieved that I had stopped him. “First of all, I have an IUD. I don’t get my period very often.” I can’t believe he’s talking about my period. “And second, the only plans I have this weekend involve grocery shopping and laundry.”
“Oh,” he said quietly. “Me too.”
I pulled my lips together between my teeth to try and suppress my smile. “Are you asking about my weekend plans because you’re interested in being a part of them? Or just out of curiosity?” Come on, Doc. All you have to do is ask me.
“I was-I was wondering if you wanted to spend some time together this weekend? If you’re not busy.”
My sweet, sweet boy. I stretched my body up, bringing my lips to his. I brushed my mouth over his in a very sweet and unhurried kiss. “No, Doc. I’m not busy.” I felt his lips smile against my own. “And maybe we can try some new things if you’re interested.”
“I’m more than interested in everything related to you,” he breathed against my lips.
--
It was decided that Spencer would come to my apartment Saturday in the early evening. I left the exact time up to him, in case he had anything he needed to do on this rare weekend off.
It was around 2 pm when my phone chimed with a text message from him.
“What time is okay for me to come over?”
I laughed out loud; I should have expected this. “Whenever you want, Doc.”
His response was immediate, which was also rare. “Can I come over now?”
“Sure, Doc. But I want you to bring something with you.”
--
I pulled open the door a short time later to find a very nervous looking Spencer Reid. Even out of work, he was still dressed the same as always. He had dark slacks on, a navy shirt, and a cardigan, he had forgone the tie today, and he was clutching the strap of his messenger bag for dear life.
“Hi, Doc,” I greeted him with a huge smile before waving him in. I saw him taking inventory of my apartment. From the art on the walls to the rug on the floor to the books on the bookshelf. "You need a bigger bookshelf," he said at last.
He wasn’t wrong. “I suppose I do. But not all of us can have a whole wall as a bookshelf, Doc.” I put my hand on his arm, pulling him into my living room, then down onto my couch. His entire body was tense, his eyes moving around nervously. I leaned closer, putting my hand on the side of his face, drawing his gaze to meet mine.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” I reminded him.
“I want to do this. I do.” He swallowed nervously, flexing his fingers. “I just…I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s going to happen. And I don’t want to mess up. And I’m so nervous that I’ll do something wrong.”
I leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Hey, hey. Take a breath. I’m serious. Take a deep breath.”
He rolled his eyes but complied.
“Spencer, I don’t expect you to just come in here and jump into a world that you’ve never been a part of before. I’m nervous too.”
That had his eyes widening. “You are? But why? You know what you’re doing.”
It doesn’t feel like I do. “Every person is different, Spencer, and I haven’t cared about a submissive the way I care about you in a long time.” My boy smiled at that. “Before we do anything, we’re going to let you get comfortable. I’m not going to do anything that we haven’t already discussed. If you feel uncomfortable, say “yellow” and I will pull back. If you don’t want to do anything more, say “red” and we will stop right then.”
He bit his full bottom lip, his eyes widening as he continued to meet my gaze. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
Just when I think my heart can’t possibly handle another crack in it. I cupped his jaw in both of my hands. “You could never disappoint me, Spencer. Never.” I said the words with 100% sincerity and honesty. It was true. “Even if you decide this isn’t what you want and you walk out right now, I’ll never be disappointed.” If he left right now I would feel a lot of things, but disappointment in him wouldn’t be one of them.
“Okay,” he breathed. “Can…Can I kiss you now? I don’t know-“
I leaned closer, my lips hovering millimeters from his own. “Yes,” I whispered. “You can kiss me.”
His lips were tender as they brushed mine. It was like nothing we had done previously mattered, my nervous boy was still so afraid, but still so desperate and so curious.
I pulled back right as his tongue flicked over the seam of my mouth, resting my forehead against his. “Let’s not get carried away,” I chuckled. “I still need to talk to you.”
Spencer sat back, his hands folded on his lap, looking at me expectantly.
Forever the eager student. "The scene begins when I send you into the bedroom alone. It ends when you cum. That can always change if you decide you want it to stop." He needed to know that. “Since this is your first experience, I want you to be prepared for some pretty intense emotions once we’re done, I promise I’ll be right here with you to get you through anything, should you feel it.” My boy’s eyes were wide, but he nodded. Still so trusting. “I’ll be using toys on you this time. I ordered them a few weeks ago and they’ve all been sterilized.”
His brow quirked at that. “You had to buy them?”
It was impossible to contain my laugh. “I didn’t think you’d be okay with toys that had been used on other people, no matter how well I sterilized them.”
The horrified expression on his face did nothing to help me suppress my laughter.
“Anyway,” I went on, still attempting to get myself under control. “I have various sizes for different things. I assume you’ve never done any sort of anal play on your own?”
There’s that blush. “No, y/n, I haven’t. Does that matter?”
“No, sweet boy, not in the way you think. I just want to make sure you’re comfortable. So, we will start with smaller sizes. If you decide you like it, we’ll work up to bigger ones. Or if you like the small ones, we can stick with those.”
He was shifting his hips unconsciously. “You’d be okay with that?”
Moving quickly, I lifted my leg over both of his, my hands pushing his shoulders to the back of the couch, my heat settling over his cock. He’s already a little hard, I thought with a smirk. I leaned forward, my mouth finding the softness of his neck, my lips skimming down to his pulse point before placing a soft kiss there.
Spencer groaned softly, his hands resting on my hips. He knew our scene hadn’t started yet, which made him bolder with his touch.
Kissing my way up to his ear, I took the lobe between my teeth, tugging softly, before I spoke. "I just want to fuck you, Dr. Reid. I don't care what size cock I fuck you with." I don't know if he shivered at the feeling of my breath against him or at my words. Hopefully both. I placed one last kiss on his neck before I moved off of him.
His bewildered expression amused me greatly. “But, before any of that, did you bring what I asked?”
It took my brilliant boy a second to remember what I was talking about. He reached for the messenger bag beside him. “Yes,” he muttered, opening the bag to pull out several books. “But I wasn’t sure what sort of book you wanted me to bring. So, I brought a few different options.” He set 4 books down on my coffee table. “What are they for?”
“You’re going to read to me,” I said, not attempting to hide my smile.
"…I am?" At my nod, he said, "Oh..okay. Do you want to do that now?”
“Don’t look so disappointed, baby.” I held out my hand to him. “Come with me.”
Curious as ever, my boy followed me into my bedroom, his eyes scanning over the bed, resting on the small chest that sat at the end of it.  
“…Are we…” he trailed off.
"Sort of. I wanted to try something first before we officially start.” I turned to him, my fingers moving slowly up his chest until I reached his collar. “It will help me get you ready for later. Is that okay?” Still so nervous. Spencer nodded quickly; his pupils were already beginning to dilate. I rose up on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his pouty mouth.  "We're not really in a scene right now. I know that can be confusing, and it's not something I would normally do, but you've never done this, so I thought it would be best." I pressed another kiss to his jaw.  "You can touch me, just not under my clothes yet. Alright, baby?"
He mumbled his response while I pulled him forward until the back of my knees hit the bed, bringing him tumbling down with me. His hands tangled in my hair when my mouth found his. I didn’t pull away this time when his tongue flicked over my lips. I let him in with a soft sigh, moving my hands to tug on his soft, messy curls. I shifted until my pelvis was aligned with his, beginning to rock slowly.
This whole exercise was a bit of a tease, but I needed for him to be aroused for what I had planned. The more aroused he was the better.
I tugged his shirt out of the waistband of his pants, running my hands underneath the fabric. "Hey," he whispered, pulling back to smile at me. I ignored the way my heart fluttered at his tone. “You said not under the clothes.”
Smiling back at him, I hooked my leg around his hips, pulling him down further. I used that momentum to flip him onto his back while I straddled him. He looks so surprised, I thought smugly. He knows I help teach seminars on defensive tactics.  
“Wrong again, Dr. Reid,” I murmured, my lips moving down his cheek to his jaw, to his ear. “I said you couldn’t put your hands under my clothes, baby,” I whispered against his ear. “I can do whatever the fuck I want to you.” I brought my hand up to wrap around his throat, applying a small amount of pressure to each side. I pressed my still covered pussy against the bulge in his pants. “Isn’t that right, baby?”
Spencer didn’t even wait until the words were out of my mouth before he started to whimper. I lifted my body until I was sitting up then I brought my hands to his belt. My fingers were unzipping his fly before I spoke again. “I asked you a question, Dr. Reid. Or does that memory of yours stop working when you become a whimpering, needy little mess?” My words were harsher than they had ever been with him before; he’d really enjoyed the degradation we had done so far and said he was open to pushing it a bit further. Ask and you shall receive, baby.
I moved off of him then, rising to my feet at the side of the bed. First, I slid his shoes off. Then I reached up to pull his pants down. Then my thumbs hooked in the waistband of his underwear. I let out an exaggerated sigh as I climbed back on top of his body. My lower body was still completely covered but he was bare from the waist down.
He wasn’t prepared for when my right hand shot out and grabbed his face. My thumb digging into the left side of his face. “That’s twice you’ve not answered me, Dr. Reid.” I lifted my hand from his face and quickly brought it back down quickly. Not as hard as I had the last time we were together like this. Not yet.
“I’m sorry, Miss,” he whimpered. “I’m so sorry.”
“Are you?” I moved my hand down to grip his hard cock in my hand, squeezing him, enjoying the way his eyes fluttered at the action. “I don’t know if I believe that, Dr. Reid.” My hand was pumping him steadily now. “I think you need to apologize a bit better than that.”
His eyes shot open and he subconsciously licked his lips, causing me to chuckle and still my hands movements. “Oh no, you can’t have that. You haven’t earned that, my nervous boy. Look at you. Look how much your cock is leaking precum already.” I brought my hands up unbutton his shirt. “You’re just a needy thing, aren’t you? It’s almost pathetic.”
Spencer was shifting his hips again, trying to get some sort of friction. “I’m sorry, Miss.”
Once his shirt was unbuttoned, I brought my hands up to his throat, leaning down to kiss the tip of his nose. “I know.” I lifted up, raking my nails down his pale chest. “Which is why you’ll be my good boy now, won’t you?”
He nodded quickly, his eyebrows coming together when I moved off of him. I knelt in front of the trunk at the end of my bed. He propped himself up on his elbows as I opened the chest and pulled two items out before I moved back over towards him.
“Move up the bed, lay in the center.”
Crawling back onto the bed, I hovered above him, before I began to move down his body. I kept eye contact with him the entire time. It’s okay, baby. I would never hurt you. “Do you know what this is, Spencer?”
I think hearing his name surprised him; he forgot that we weren’t technically in a scene yet. I had only acted this way because I wanted to bump his simmering arousal up to a flaming inferno. I knew my boy would become more nervous if he wasn’t a whimpering, desperate mess. He nodded.
I pushed his legs up until his knees were bent, then I kissed up his right thigh, moving towards his cock. “I want you to be ready for when I fuck you.” I offered in way of explanation right before I moved to run my tongue up the underside of his cock.
Spencer threw his head back, tossing it against my pillows. I wrapped my fingers around the base of his cock while I moved him into my mouth. I didn't suck as hard as I normally did, instead of letting saliva slip from my mouth to coat him. After a few moments, I pulled off.
"I want you to touch your cock, Spencer," I said, uncapping the lube. "You're not allowed to cum. Remember that when you touch yourself. If you get so close that it's painful to stop, you have no one to blame but yourself. And if you cum, I will punish you."
His Adam's apple bobbed, his eyes moving from the butt plug to my hands then back to his cock. He wrapped his long fingers around it while I coated the plug with lube. Eyes fixed firmly on my hands; he started a slow rhythm. What a good boy.
I stroked his thighs as I moved the plug into position against his ass. His face was flushed with a mix of arousal and embarrassment, I think. I just smirked at him. “Don’t get shy with me now, baby,” I said as I slowly began to push inside of him. “I’m going to have you begging me to fuck your tight little ass before the day is over.” He whimpered, his hand speeding up slightly. “You do know that, don’t you, Spencer? I’m going to make you such a little slut for me.” The plug went in further, with almost no real resistance from him. “Jesus, it looks like you’re already a fucking slut.” His whimpers and groans were coming faster now. “Look at how you’re taking this plug,” I started to fuck it into him slowly. “I knew you were dirty, Dr. Reid. But I didn’t expect this.”
With one final small push, it was seated inside him. I reached to grab his hand, pulling it off of his cock. His lip was between his teeth, his forehead dotted with sweat. "You did so well, Spencer," I praised him. "You're more needy than I thought. I think I might make you bounce on my cock later." I moved off of the bed, reaching down to pick up his underwear before I tossed them to him. "I thought it would take some time to get you to ride me, but you're such a little slut, I'm sure you'll be begging for it soon."
He looked so confused, his fingers picking up his underwear. “Wha-“ he panted, his hips moving against my bed, already starting to be overwhelmed by the sensation.
“Put on your underwear, Dr. Reid; leave your shirt unbuttoned. Then come back into the living room.” I gave him a wide smile. “You still have to read to me.”
--
I sat on the couch, flipping through the books Spencer had brought, waiting for him to emerge from my bedroom. He really had done so much better than I expected. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I was going to have him bounce on my cock. The thought of him moving over me, his head thrown back while I pumped his cock caused heat to pool between my thighs.
My eyes didn’t raise to look at him when he walked into the room. He sat to the left of me, where he had been before. His cock was still hard, his precum was leaving a damp spot on his underwear. “Which book do you want to read me, Dr. Reid?”
He groaned. “I-I don’t know if I can finish the whole book like this,” he mumbled, flushing a deeper red that went down to his neck.
“You don’t have to finish, darling boy.” I rose up from the couch then, undoing my pants before shimming them down my hips. “You just have to read to me until I cum.”
Spencer’s eyes went wide. Flickering from the books then back to where I was removing my shirt. I wasn’t paying attention to what book he picked; ultimately, it didn’t matter, I’m not sure I would be able to pay enough attention during this to even process what he was reading.
I stood before him in my bra and panties. He brought the thick book up to his chest, never so much as blinking while I moved over him. I put my thighs on either of his right thigh before I sat down, pushing the seam of my pussy against him through my underwear. I gripped his shoulders, moving my mouth to the tender area where his shoulder met his neck. Placing a soft kiss there, I moved my right hand down his chest, skimming over his stomach, then applying a teasing pressure to his cock over his underwear.
“Come on, Dr. Reid. You told me you’d read to me.”
His first few words were sure. I was almost positive this was one of the many books he had memorized, meaning he wouldn’t need to rely on the book itself to keep reading. This was probably good, as at the first rock of my pussy against his thigh, he released a soft groan, interrupting his words.
Smirking, I moved my hips more purposefully against him. My hands came up to grip his hair, pulling harshly. His moan once again made his words falter. “What’s wrong Dr. Reid,” I whispered sweetly against his skin. “Can you not focus on your book?”
“It’s…It’s so hard, y/n.”
I licked the vein running up his neck before I sucked on the skin. “I can feel just how hard it is, Dr. Reid.” I moved my mouth up to his ear again. “Take my bra off.” I expected him to fumble with this task, but he put his right hand behind my back and removed my bra in seconds. You’ve been holding out on me, Doc. Leaning back, I moved my hands to my own breasts, thumbing my nipples as I listened to Spencer read his book, his words barely registering in my mind.
“You don’t need both hands to read, do you?” He shook his head, his worlds never faltering from the story. “Good. I know how hard it is for you to sit here with that plug inside you. I know you’re thinking about how it will feel when I fuck you.” There’s that whimper, I thought. “I’m thinking about it too, Spencer.” My hips began to grind against him faster. “Put the book down but keep reading to me. If you stop your words, I’ll stop moving. The sooner I cum, the sooner you can get back into my bed.”
He placed the book down; his words a whisper now as he recited the book. “Touch me, Spencer. Make me cum like a good boy so I can finally fuck you like the little slut you are.” His hands gripped my hips, guiding my movements against his thigh, his mouth against my neck while he continued mumbling words I could barely hear against my skin.
"I've thought about fucking you before, you know," I said, my pussy becoming wetter and wetter against him. "The first time was on the jet. You had some book open in your lap. You were stretched out on the couch." I groaned as Spencer moved my hips faster and faster. "I thought about the look on your face if I just came over to you and sat on your lap." I moved to kiss his neck again. "I wonder what they would have said then." Dropping my hand down to palm his hot, hard cock over his underwear. "What would they have said if they saw Dr. Spencer Reid's big, pretty boy cock sliding down my throat?"
He was groaning now in between words, but the words were yet to totally falter. “I guess that would be better than them seeing you get fucked, right?” One of his hands moved up to my breast to pinch my nipple. “What would they think if they knew that their boy wonder, their resident genius, wanted to get his ass fucked and treated like a dirty little thing?”
I was so, so close. “Come on, Agent Reid. Make me cum. Make me cum all over your thigh so I can make you cum so hard you see stars.”
His words faltered then; his mouth moved to my shoulder, kissing it softly before he said, “I’d let the entire world watch anything if it meant I got to fuck you.” With that, he bit down on my skin. That small amount of pain caused my orgasm to break like a wave against me. Spencer kept moving my hips back and forth to help me ride it out.
The world came back into focus slowly, my breathing still harsh against Spencer’s shoulder. Gripping his shoulders, I pulled back to kiss him softly. He tried to turn the kiss into something deeper, his need making him desperate. I pulled back, looking in his eyes. “When you go into the room we really begin,” I whispered. “Green, yellow, and red. I need you to know I’m so proud of you, darling boy, even if we just end here. You’ve done so well.”
He whimpered again, confirming once again that he had a praise kink. “I want more, Miss. Please?”
I moved off of his body to sit back on the couch, picking up the book he had set down. “Go into the bedroom, take off all of your clothes. Lay in the center of the bed, hands by your sides. Do not touch yourself. If you do, I will punish you.”
--
When I finally made my way into the room a minute later, I found Spencer right where I instructed him to be. His cock was still hard; he was breathing rapidly. I stood at the edge of the bed, slowly slipping my panties off before I knelt down to open the chest again.
I had given this first scene a lot of thought. One day, I wanted to restrain him with my handcuffs when I fucked him. I could just imagine how he'd blush whenever he saw them after that. But, for this I had decided to use arm restraints that attached to the bars on my headboard, wrapping around his wrist with a Velcro cuff; he could open them if he needed to. I moved up on his left side, fastening one restraint to the bed, then walking to the right side, doing the same. His eyes were on my face, so expectant and so trusting.
I crawled on to the bed then, sitting myself on his firm stomach, my wet heat touching his skin. I leaned over to grip one cuff before I said, "Give me your hand, Dr. Reid." He complied without complaint or hesitation, then he did it again with his left wrist. I scooted my body down his until I felt his pubic bone brush against my still sensitive pussy. His breath hitched. "What's wrong, Dr. Reid?" I asked as I moved further down, my ass now resting over his cock.
“I-I can feel you. You-you’re so close.” His hands started to pull against the restraints, itching to reach out and touch me, push me back even further so his cock would finally touch the paradise that was my wet cunt.
I tsked at him, pouting my lips. “I know, darling boy. It must be so hard.” I moved my hands to his chest, bracing myself on one hand while the other reached up to wrap around his throat. “It’s so hard to so fucking needy, isn’t it, baby?” I moved back another inch.
He was whining under me now, shifting his hips relentlessly. Leaning forward, I placed my lips centimeters away from his own, my grip on his throat tightening just a bit. “It wouldn’t take much, Dr. Reid.” I brushed my mouth against his, laughing when I heard the restraints jerking against the headboard bars. “You know I won’t let you fuck me…but all it would take is just a shift of my hips.” I rocked back a bit, bringing my pussy right there, before drawing back up. “What would you give me for that, Dr. Reid? What would you do to feel my hot, wet, tight, little pussy rub against your pretty boy cock?”
“Anything,” his voice was so much higher than normal when he spoke. “I’ll do anything, Miss. Please. Please.”
You’re so good at this, baby. “You sound very pretty when you beg, Dr. Reid.” I placed one more chaste kiss on his top lip before I went back to a sitting position. Bracing my hands on his hips, I lifted my pelvis over his groin to settle on the tops of his thighs. His strangled groan was music to my ears. “You have been such a good boy…” I pretended to ponder this. “Tell you what, if you promise to ride my cock, to swirl your hips while you fuck yourself on top of me, I’ll let you feel me.”
He was nodding desperately, still pulling against the arm restraints. “Yes. Please. Please, Miss. I’ll do whatever you want.”
I moved his cock to lay flat against his pubic bone, the head pointing upwards towards his face. “I want you to watch, Dr. Reid.” I could feel myself dripping when I moved forward. Slowly, slowly, slowly, I placed the lips of my cunt around the width of his cock.
“Fuck." Spencer's eyes were glued to where my pussy was finally touching his cock. "You're so…fuck, you feel so good, Miss.”
This was the first time I had felt a man against me like this in longer than I wanted to admit. I should be scared, but I just couldn't be. It felt so right to be against him right now. I started moving my hips forwards and backward, much like I did when I rode his thigh. I looked down, watching his cock disappear as I slide my pussy over him. This wasn’t even sex in the way most people considered it, but being here, sharing this moment with Spencer was one of the most erotic and intimate moments of my life.
With one finally slide of my hips, I lifted off of him, getting off the bed completely.
“No, no, no, Miss, please come back.”
I looked back at him over my shoulder. His cock was wet with my arousal, his neck was flushed a bright red, his messy curls were sticking to his forehead, and his wrists were still pulling against the restraints. He is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“My, my, Dr. Reid.” I moved back to the chest, reaching down to pull out my harness. “You might be the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen. Look at you,” I shot him a look of fake disapproval while I stepped into the harness, bringing it up to secure it around my hips. I had selected this strap-on for the specific reason that I could change the size of the dildo attached to it. So, for today I could use something smaller on my boy…until he was ready for something rougher, or bigger. Originally, I had planned on selecting the smallest dildo, but after seeing how easily he took the plug, I decided to move to the next size up.
Spencer watched with wide eyes while I pulled out my “cock”. I smirked at him. “Do you like it, Dr. Reid?” I slid the dildo into place, clip it into place. I moved closer to him, crawling up the bed, sitting on his right side. I brushed my fingers over his chest, feeling his racing heartbeat. Moving so quickly he didn’t have a chance to brace, I struck quickly, whipping my left hand up to backhand across the cheek. Rising up on my knees, I moved closer to him, gripping a handful of his hair with one hand, my other bracing myself on the headboard. “I am getting really fucking tired of not having my questions answered, Dr. Reid.”
He was positively squirming now, his pupils were huge, his mouth hanging open. “I’m sorry Miss, I’m so sorry. I can’t- I can’t think when you’re around me.” I had to fight very hard to stop my lips from spreading into a smile, but I think he saw my lips twitch anyway.
“Brat,” I muttered, yanking on his hair again, causing him to let out another whimper. “I think you need to apologize, Dr. Reid. You want to be my good boy, don’t you?” I tilted my head to the side, regarding him curiously. “Because, if you’re my good boy, I’ll let you cum. But…if you’re not,” I leaned down to whisper to him. “Well, bad boys get their pretty little asses fucked, but they don’t get to cum.”
“I’m sorry Miss,” he whined out. “I’m so sorry. Please let me apologize.”
“Open your mouth.” He did so without question, his arms pulling on the restraints harder when I spit into his mouth. “Swallow it.” Such a good boy. “Now, I want you to suck my cock, Dr. Reid. Can you do that? Suck my cock and get it nice and wet before I fuck you with it.”
His eyes were on my face; I could see just the smallest flicker of nervousness in those pretty golden-brown eyes. I’d never hurt you, baby. You know that. Almost as if he heard my thoughts, he opened his mouth for me. Releasing his hair, I brought my hand to the dildo, guiding it into his mouth. “That’s it, you’re doing so good, Dr. Reid.” I gave a few very shallow thrusts of my hips, watching his eyes flutter while his cheeks hollowed out. “I knew the first time you sucked my fingers that day on your couch that you’d be so good at sucking cock.” I moved my hand from the dildo to place it lightly against his throat. “You’re nothing but a cock slut though, right, Dr. Reid?” He moaned around me; I squeezed his throat in response.
Pulling out of his mouth, I smiled down at him while I moved further away. I placed a soft kiss on his cheek before I moved down the bed. “You know why I left your legs free, don’t you Dr. Reid?”
“I’m not sure Miss.” His response was breathy and immediate. You’re learning, my nervous boy.
“Oh, the great Dr. Reid isn’t sure? That must be first. I guess it’s probably hard for your big brain to work when all the blood is going to your cock.” I grabbed the lube from the side of the bed to place it beside his thigh. I pushed his legs up roughly, so his knees were bent again. “I left your legs free, Dr. Reid, so it’s easier to make you take my cock.”
I brought my right hand up to his cock, my grip not firm enough to be satisfying, but I wanted him to focus on that sensation, especially now. In reality, it probably didn’t matter, my boy looked too far gone to be embarrassed anymore. With my left, I grabbed the base of the butt plug, slowly pulling it out.
His breath caught in his throat, his top teeth digging into his bottom lip so hard it whitened. “What’s wrong, baby?” My tone was condescending as I worked the plug out a bit, before I pushed it back in a bit, fucking it out of him gently, much like how I fucked it into him. “What do you need, Dr. Reid?”
He knew what I wanted, I had told him multiple times, but will my boy be brave enough to give it to me. I pulled the plug out completely, tossing it to the side before I grabbed the lube. I squirted some into my right hand before I started to slick up the dildo, my eyes never leaving his.
“I-I want you to fuck me, Miss.”
“Hmm,” I acknowledged, my hands still moving up and down my ‘cock.’ “I’m not sure what you mean, darling boy. You’ll have to be a bit more specific.”
Spencer’s head thrashed, his thighs clenched, his stomach muscles tensed. “I need you to fuck my ass, Miss…Please. Please fuck my ass, Miss.”
My hand stilled. Goddamnit. Hearing those words out of him made my pussy clench, my own wetness starting to drip down my thighs. "All you have to do is ask, Dr. Reid.”
I moved into position between his thighs, bringing both of my hands up to grip his slim hips. Scooting forward, I lifted him up a bit until my knees were barely under him, just enough to tilt his pelvis up so I could see him. I ran one of my hands up his inner thigh. “You’re even pretty here, Dr. Reid.” I lifted my hips slightly, pressing the dildo against his asshole. “Hold still, baby. I know you’re so needy and that makes it so hard, but you can hold still for me, can’t you?”
He nodded rapidly, his hands fisted into balls, his wrists tugging against the restraints, his teeth still sunk into his lower lip. Usually, I would demand his words, but I understood how overwhelming this was for him. Free pass, my nervous boy. I slowly started to push inside of him. My gaze kept flicking between my ‘cock’ entering him and his face, watching for any reaction, any sign of hesitancy.  
“Please,” he whimpered.
I started making slow strokes, fucking the dildo into him in shallow, small thrusts. When I had about 4 inches inside of him, I put some more lube on my hand. I stroked some of it on the remaining 3 inches of the dildo, making sure I could bottom out inside him. The remaining lube I left on my hand…the same hand I brought up to grab his cock with.
“FUCK.” Spencer’s shoulders were raising off of the bed, his eyes locked on my movements.
“Does it feel good, Dr. Reid?”
"Green, green, green, fucking green," he muttered. Under normal circumstances, I would have laughed, but right now I just pitched my hips forward, burying the dildo inside of him. He let out a strangled moan that sounded like my name when my thighs hit his body.
"Look at that," I said softly. "Look at what a good little slut you are, Dr. Reid?" I started to thrust slowly, looking at his reactions to see which strokes seemed to have the biggest effect on him. Being a profiler comes in handy at the strangest times. “You’re such a pretty cock slut, baby.” The tempo of my thrusts sped up while I looked down to watch the dildo move in and out of his tight entrance.
“Miss, fuck,” he whimpered. “Miss, please fuck me harder.”
I moved my hips faster, watching as his mouth opened in a silent scream. I gripped his cock firmer in my hand. Building up a rhythm between jerking him off and fucking him. “Is this what you want, Dr. Reid? You want to be used like this? Like a filthy slut?”
“Yes, yes, Miss, please.” His eyes were fixed on my hand on his cock, on my hips moving quickly. “Miss, Miss, you’re so- Miss, I’m going to cum.”
“Oh, you are, are you?” I teased, slowing my hand slightly. My thighs still slapping against him as I fucked him.
“Please Miss,” he begged. “Please let me cum. Please, I’ll do anything. Please, please, I’m so fucking close.”
I gripped his cock harder, my pace never slowing. “Come on, Dr. Reid. Cum for me like the dirty thing you are.”
At my words, he let out the loudest moan I’d heard him make yet. His back was arching off the bed, as rope after rope of cum erupted from his cock. I slowed my pace, only giving a few shallow thrusts to work him through his orgasm.
Right as his orgasm started to end, I slowly withdrew the portion of the dildo that was still inside him.
I leaned over him to quickly undo the cuffs, freeing him. Moving off the bed, I unstrapped myself, letting the harness fall to the floor before I dashed into the bathroom connected to my room. Wetting the washcloth, I had already laid out, I grabbed my other supplies and hurried back into the room. Spencer was where I left him, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, unseeing.
I moved to sit between his legs. First, I wiped the cum and lube off his cock, murmuring my praises the entire time before I cleaned up the remaining lube from between his cheeks. Tossing the rag into the floor, I moved to kneel beside him on the bed. "Spencer," I whispered. "Spencer, you did so well. You were so wonderful."
His gaze fixed on mine, his eyes starting to fill with tears, his face a mask of confusion. “Y/n,” he said, his voice raspy. “Why-why-“
I pushed his hair off his forehead, bringing his arms in towards his body to check his wrists. “It’s okay, Spencer. It is fine. Your adrenaline and endorphins are hitting your body right now. This is what I was talking about that might happen. It’s called sub drop.” I cupped his jaw, my thumb brushing over his lips. “I’m right here, Spencer. I’m right here. And I’m so proud of you.”
I wanted to wait until he asked me to touch him, to be sure that was what he needed, but I just acted on instinct. I laid down beside of him and wrapped my arms around him. He turned his body to face mine, his knees curled up to hit my thighs. I stroked my hands over his back, murmuring softly to him the whole time.
After a few minutes had passed, and his breathing had evened out, I spoke again. “Spence? Do you think you can take a shower? The heat will make you feel better.”
He sniffled, his eyes never rising to meet mine. “I…I don’t know if I can leave you.”
In that moment, the tiny part of my heart that didn’t already belong to Spencer Reid, this marvelous, wonderful man, was cemented into his grasp. “Spencer, I need you to look at me, can you do that?”
His soft eyes finally rose to meet mine. They were wide and anxious and swimming with a much bigger and more frightening emotion. “Spencer, I’m not going to leave you. I’m going to take a shower with you. Then after we get cleaned up, we’re going to order some food and watch whatever you want to while we sit on my couch.” My words were hurried and dripping with honesty.
My darling boy’s face lite up with hope so bright it threatened to consume me. “You’ll stay with me?”
“You don’t even have to ask, Spence.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead.
--
The remainder of our Saturday went like I had planned. In our shower, I held his body under the warm water, I washed his hair, and I listened while he told me whatever fact came to his mind in that moment. After we were done, I got his messenger bag and brought him his clothes.  
Together, we cuddled on my couch. Him in his old Caltech t-shirt and sweatpants and me in loose t-shirt and leggings. We found some sci-fi show that he said was good that I had never seen to watch while we ate our takeout. I listened to everything he told me about the show, holding his body close to mine.
I felt the tension rise up inside of him the later it got. Which is why I turned to him with an over-exaggerated yawn and asked him the question he was too afraid to ask me.
“Hey, Doc?” I said softly. “It’s getting pretty late…and after…after everything we did today, I don’t really want to be alone. Would you mind staying with me?”
The relief I felt radiate off of him in that moment was so powerful I don’t know if I’ll ever forget the feeling. “Of course, y/n. I’d really like that.”
After I stripped and remade my bed and cleaned up any stray items that I may have missed earlier, I lead Spencer into my bedroom. I fell asleep that night with my arms wrapped around him, his back to my chest. I held my hand against his chest, feeling his heartbeat slow as he fell asleep in my arms. It took a long time for sleep to finally find me, but I didn’t mind. I was content to just feel the heart beating inside the chest of the best person I had ever known.
--
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