#i feel like im not a real person

[fallahifag]

palestinians don’t owe you anything

#like i shouldn’t have to say this but #we aren’t responsible for absolving your white guilt #please stop dming me weird shit it’s just going to get you blocked lmao. i already said i’m going through a tough time #your first response to that shouldn’t be #‘let me tell this random palestinian that i feel so bad about what’s happening i might *insert extremely graphic suicide mention* #please go to therapy. #like i’m a real person who’s dealing with real life things lmao #im not playing fr i don’t want this shit in my messages i WILL block you and i won’t read it #this goes for asks too.

[bleakprincess]

Does anyone else’s anxiety make them a literal empty shell of a person or what

#liek why do i feel this way #i cant eat #i feel like im not a real person

[nat-20s]

I am not one to need realism in my silly space show but I WILL say I fucking adore how much Donna Noble feels like a real person. Like omg I know her we worked a shitty office job together where we shit talked a manager together!!! She's my friend she's my neighbor she's my coworker crush I KNOW her!!!!

#doctor who #donna noble #im not saying that there aren't multiple companions that feel like REAL HUMAN PEOPLE but donna's the one i personally feel like I have met #like she's so fucking real to me #she's the exact kind of complicated that feels so so so human

[love4hobi]

I end up going round in circles, and fall into slumps, and I feel some sort of disconnection from what I actually like. And I wonder why I think the way I do.

HOPE ON THE STREET EP.4 ⎯ "I Don't Know"

#bts #hoseok #jhope #hobi #btsgif #btsedit #dailybts #userines #usersky #annietrack #* #hope on the street #this hit a little too close... #both hearing it from him and feeling it personally #remember bts' 'break' in august 21 and he was just working on cns the whole time.... #like i seriously think his enlistment might be the first real break from work in years and for that im kinda glad #and im glad he has boogaloo to tell him this stuff

[blueskittlesart]

in the nicest and most non-confrontational way possible. i feel like some of you think that anything that isn't directly openly spelled out for you within a story is "missed potential" or "unexplored." like. sometimes there are implied narratives. sometimes the point is that you as the reader are supposed to think and draw your own conclusions and participate in the story. the writers not directly spelling every little detail out for you doesn't mean that the story is poorly written or missed its own plot details somehow. PLEASE.

#if i get one more comment referring to zelda's draconification as wasted potential im going to lose it for real #that's not unexplored potential that is THE ENTIRE STORY. JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT BEAT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH IT DOESNT MEAN ITS NOT THERE #i get this all the time with just like. link's trauma in general too. #like people will ask me 'do you think they should explore link's trauma more' and im like. they do #that's what the games are about. it's all there. they just don't directly state that that's what they're doing because theyre expecting you #as a reader to ENGAGE WITH THE DAMN TEXT BEYOND SURFACE LEVEL. UGHHHHHHH #WHATEVER. whatever #like i feel like some of you would read the great gatsby and be like #'there was a lot of missed potential to talk about the failure of the american dream' GIRL IT'S RIGHT THERE. JUST THINK A LITTLE #personal #and yeah obviously its not that deep its a video game but like. i am not making shit up when i write my comics and analysis. #I AM ENGAGING WITH THE TEXT. AS IS GENERALLY EXPECTED OF A READER #ugh ok whatever. im done now sorry

[kkoct-ik]

i dont think i will ever forgive what the internet did to DID because please explain to me how "your sense of self is so torn apart you think youre multiple people" turned into "youre actually multiple people"

do you understand what i mean? please understand what i mean

#kostik speaks #yes cat 3 are real things ive been told and things that honestly really traumatised me and ruined my relationship with myself & disorder #some reassurance im not the only person who finds this super upsetting would be nice #my mental illness: causes harrowing feelings of disconnection from my life and a tendency to disown and/or reject my identity #some people for some fucking reason: reinforces the mental illness in ways never thought possible #i love and appreciate everyone who knows about my bullshit and yet doesnt deny me my personhood or treat me like some freak #i got really triggered about this yesterday so ive deleted the bulk of the tags i wrote (dehumanisation trauma when) #but i stand by this and ive been assured i make sense so sure. posting #this is the real reason i hate giving my disorder by name if you even care. it is specifically this treatment

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Bard-aby <3 except he's only loosely a bard bc i don't subscribe to absolutes <3

rambles:

BARNABY WITH PANTS??? BLASPHEMY!!! however this is a (dnd-inspired) fantasy au so. pants! loose pants tucked into modified boots because no one can tell me No!

based off of Clown's pokemon au human Barn, it seems like he might be a bit of a jewelry guy! he was wearing rings! and had an earring! also i think Barn just looks great w/ some extra shinies, yk yk

since ties aren't really a Thing in fantasy settings, i combined the iconic pattern w/ his vest for a two-in-one. then suspenders bc they fuck severely! his belt buckle is a bone both as a nod to the pattern on his tie / house decoration, and to go along with how Wally has an apple buckle! besties stay twinning!

you can't see it but on his other side he has his pack & his smoking pipe holster, which attaches to his belt! it's very high quality leather that he spent so much money on. his pipe is important to him - he carved it himself out of wood from an important tree from his childhood, so he wants it to be properly stored & protected! he has two kinds of tobacco for it - normal, and magic tobacco that essentially allows him to cast minor spells w/ the smoke

the feathers on his hat are from Ms. Beagle! in my mind he left the farm to go adventuring on a bit of a bad note, but his mama made sure to give him a couple feathers to take with so that she'd always be close <3

he keeps his claws blunt so that he doesn't accidentally scratch people/things, and so that he can play stringed instruments without cutting the strings. while i imagine for this au he plays a wide range, he prefers Loud Handheld Instruments that allow him to sing along. so in mind he has an Accordion here! loud! jaunty! but i imagine he also keeps a recorder in his pack for when Frank needs annoying. (he did have a lute, but he broke it over someone's head in the act of defending Wally's honor)

im still trying to pin down the right balance of colors for his outfit, but! for a little au tidbit - all of his spots are the same two blues as his ears. in this im imagining that he, at a young age, learned a very basic cosmetic spell that allowed him to change his spots color to mimic Ms. Beagle's! he wanted to look like his mama! but by the time he's in his late 20s he no longer changes his spots

ohhhh i forgot to add his pockets. Oh Well

#i wanted him to look um.... Put Together? #barn strikes me as a character that likes to look a lil sophisticated in a way! #and i wanted that to come across in this fit... dont know if i succeeded #i still wanted to have Bard-ish / Barnaby Vibes #i can easily imagine him reclined by a tree absentmindedly playin his accordion... smokin... in this outfit hat tipped down over his eyes #barnaby my beloved <3 #and bardaby my beloved <3 #also ill admit!!! #that lute is traced from a real image lmfao there was no way in hell i was scribbling that thing from scratch #scribble salad #wh fantasy au #i lowkey feel bad for barnaby when he finds out about the whole warlock thing #bc hes been traveling with wally for Years #barnaby likes to think that he knows everything about his little buddy #and then wally has to be like 😬 #yeah im actually not technically a real person #also there's this 'demon' i have a pact with & also a weird kinda non-platonic Cant Be Accurately Labeled intimate relationship with #oh and i sometimes sacrifice innocent people to it in a pinch. the rest of the time we eat enemies' souls #and barnaby just has to! deal with that! like oh great! his bestie has been lying to his face since they met! #ands its been Seamless Lying! #suffice to say barnaby has a crisis #and now since wally can be more open about home #there's a sort of... pointless Rivalry for wally's attention/affection #even though barnaby definitely misjudges the situation and how home feels about wally... #oh switching gears back to the instrument thing! #in my mind barnaby also knows how to play the harp really well #and howdy's tavern has a corner for live music - which includes a permanently placed harp <3 #so i think on quiet days barnaby will go play the harp while howdy cleans glasses & the others do their own quiet things #maybe its raining outside! or Snowing! but the tavern is cozy and warm & there is beautiful music <3

[groven4]

"I don't ship securitywaiter" I say as I continue to fall deeper and deeper down the "crackship" rabbit hole.

#ig the main reason i feel weird about it is that at the end of the day Ness is currently just a matpat-insert character #and im personally not into real person ships #tho you could argue its just his youtube persona so maybe im overthinking it idfk #the other reason is that everyone in this movie feels aroace to me (mike especially imo) #so like i cant really get myself to ship them without it feeling forced #not romantically anyway. i will gladly shoot just about any pairing with the queerplatonic ray #fnaf movie #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #mike schmidt #mike schmidt fnaf movie #ness the waiter #ness fnaf #securitywaiter #mike x ness #rambles

[mattastr0phic]

#don't wanna take those spam requests anymore. please dont send them to me. #it feels weirdly manufactured and hollow tiktok trend to me and its not my vibe #preferably just ask me about/to draw my wife please and thanks #if i find out another thing i draw for is just a part of another spam trend i'm going to delete it. mg #not trying to be harsh here this just doesn't seem right for some reason and my personal ask. #its not like im going around spamming everyone to draw myriad yk? even if i'd love to see more art of her #no real tags just late night ramblings.

[liauditore]

cw// implied character death, double life nonsense

because you are love itself.

#my art #trafficblr #double life #divorce quartet #<-- insane about how scott killed pearl in limlife. #this comic has been sitting unfinished in my files for a good month its def not finished to my usual quality but god it needed to be done #so uh scott... yeah. i like villain scott but not pure evil scott. i like a scott whos scared of being loved and manipulates others to spar #himself the pain. i like a scott who ditched pearl because their friendship was actually becoming real and when the server gods confirmed i #with DL he freaked out a bit and ran off. #ofc u can interpret this comic however u want but i was just thinking way too hard abt smajhor #i feel like often ppl get divided into scott did nothing wrong vs scott is pure evil alot of the time #which is understandable cus like i said with fanart/fic u only have so much space to show someones personality #but idk i like him all angsty. like i know im a bad person but to keep myself safe i need to keep being like this. #hes so blorbo *puts him in a blender* #i hate him *wraps him up in a blanket and takes him home* #cw implied death #cw implied violence #scott #pearl

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm sorry I let down my guard.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #xiao xingchen #God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish #Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it. #The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic. #And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core. #Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently- #come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt #and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people. #So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'. #The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there? #The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible #He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg) #''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.'' #Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts. #ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.

[petorahs]

shuake works because it feels like akechi's the only one who listens to akira and prompts the otherwise quiet leader to talk.

in a game about defiant teens making their voice heard, goro akechi listens to akira's voice from the get-go. out of detective-sleuthing/work duties, sure, but over time it's clear that akechi genuinely finds akira interesting.

in fact, akechi's confidant route regardless of which game is being played starts with him deeming akira the antithesis to his thesis, a "worthwhile debate partner". akechi values joker's opinions.

its always nice to see people point out that in that one 3rd sem phone call with akechi, its the most involved akira's been in a conversation in-game. i myself remember inserting a lot more input during that story-sequence which usually i can put on autoplay otherwise. akechi, in a whole different reality, still seeks out joker's opinions on it. it's like he trusts no one but him.

and imo this gives a lot of character to akira. he talks the most with akechi. the quietest people have the most on their minds, and it shows with akira. but akira never gets a say in anything, and who would listen? he's less than a nobody in reality since society dictated that. so he pointedly made himself silent, hiding his thoughts beneath an impenetrable mask. during important story moments, akira favors doing more than saying. his teammates and confidants are all directly inspired by his actions over the course of the game.

but with akechi, it's different. actions seem to take a backseat as they continue with their verbal back-and-forth. in rank 7 of royal, they play pool while talking, but it's clear to the outsider that the focus is in the layered conversation they're having. they primarily talk everytime akechi's in the coffee shop, because they dont usually see eachother in their busy schedules. it's not just "hi, hello, how are you?" with them but "i find you and everything you stand for interesting. let's talk more."

there's something to be said about how two people with vastly different and opposing views seek eachother out to further discuss things instead of antagonizing eachother. its why maruki said "despite being enemies, your relationship was never based on hatred or ill will".

their relationship was never a one-sided thing. akechi helps joker as much as joker helps him... arguably more. he eggs joker on, shows him that he can do better. otherwise, the leader would remain stagnant and unchallenged. there is no progress where there is no thesis and-- you can finish the rest.

#persona 5 #shuake #goro akechi #akira kurusu #been defensively quiet lately and was thinking how nice it is to have someone listen to and validate my thoughts. #maybe not always agree but. making me feel like my words are worthwhile #aishi.docx #and then i realized thats exactly what akechi does with joker. damn rivals... #they should exist irl too... #oh to have a smug pretty n intelligent boyfriend telling me im smart while he twirls his spoon in the tea i made him... #anyway i really like the topic of joker's quietude cause i feel like it makes sense that he wasnt always like that at all. #him becoming quiet after getting shut down over and over is like. so humbling and a real epidemic i fear... #this is a personal post more than anything i feel HSJDBJS me giving joker my fears and pains. but actually joker copied ME #(said like a totally normal person)

[chickenoptyrx]

*sittin up projecting onto the baby blorbo when I should be sleeping*

#just havin a super normal 1 #ok but i neddta tag rant #prepare for typos #but #like ok imagine you havin your first real melt down #you dont know whats happenin just that you feel like your goin insane #and instead of helpin ya #your dad- the only person ever been lookin out for ya #his solution is restrict your freedom/ cut off access to this part of you that he was praisin and encouraging before #cause yknow it scares him now #now bein strong and aggressive is bad and you needta be quiet and calm #but ay since you cant act up now problem solved right? #he can just ignore it all now #no way this sudden unexpected shift will trigger a downward spiral or anything #....anyway yes im sayin the big evil bad guy is just an uwu over stimulated smol bean #...but fr every time paragus says ' there was somethin far darker about him ' i get sad for the dumb man baby #cause man hes talkin about his kid #blah blah blah ok sleep. thats a thing i should do soon

[critter-wizard]

i wish i were a monster...

#UPDATED WITH MORE ZINE PAGES!! #im going to be selling these at conventions and market stalls !! #a little poem and zine i cooked up in my sketchbook a few months ago with mostly crayons and then further edited in clip studio :) #there was more to the poem but I feel like this is enough lol #i want to make more personal art going forwards its a bit scary it feels a little cheesy but real and a little cathartic #but it is real feelings i have so maybe it connects with someone #personal art #zine #monsters #werwolves #artistic nudity #artists on tumblr #trans art #grimm art

[transmascissues]

hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs

i have one question for you: so fucking what?

i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”

i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.

what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.

if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.

like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.

and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.

this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.

who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?

#i hope you weren’t expecting me to take this in good faith and give a nice measured response #because just so we’re clear you didn’t have a chance in hell of doing anything other than pissing me off #like in case you forgot i am a real person who this is happening to #in what world did you think i’d care about how an anonymous stranger feels about how i describe it when im the one who has to live it #idk man. some of y’all clearly do not see me as an actual person capable of emotion and it shows #also like. using a friend’s experience is wild bc 1) how do you know it was the same if it didn’t happen to you #and 2) would that friend really want you using their experience against another trans person experiencing something similar? #anon hate #ask answered #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men

[baldofawesome]

btb doodles

#art #my art #btb #bigtop burger #btb cesare #btb steve #btb munkustrap #iread one fic hc munkustrap as transfem and kept callin em she #idont think ill stop #its kinda a real as fuck hc #i think a mutual of mine wrote it.. #if u see this hii #me personally they need a break from steves shit #im saying this bc i kinda feel like theyyre gonna play a big part in season 3...giggles