#i hope you weren’t expecting me to take this in good faith and give a nice measured response

[transmascissues]

hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs

i have one question for you: so fucking what?

i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”

i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.

what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.

if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.

like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.

and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.

this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.

who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?

#i hope you weren’t expecting me to take this in good faith and give a nice measured response #because just so we’re clear you didn’t have a chance in hell of doing anything other than pissing me off #like in case you forgot i am a real person who this is happening to #in what world did you think i’d care about how an anonymous stranger feels about how i describe it when im the one who has to live it #idk man. some of y’all clearly do not see me as an actual person capable of emotion and it shows #also like. using a friend’s experience is wild bc 1) how do you know it was the same if it didn’t happen to you #and 2) would that friend really want you using their experience against another trans person experiencing something similar? #anon hate #ask answered #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men

[jhuzen]

Hi!! I wanted to make a request if you're taking them right now! (Sorry if you aren't, feel free to just ignore!!((in love with your writing by the way it's amazing)))

My idea is Zhongli with a partner who is very usually very cheery and chaotic but very emotionally closed off. Until they get drunk for whatever reason and sobbing to Zhongli about how much they're in love with him and how he's the best thing that ever happened to them etc.

Basically just very mushy drunk reader.

Anyway, hope you're doing well, make sure to drink water and be nice to yourself!

truth serum [gn/m.reader]

asmsiskdkcmeimcwdc?? not me absolutely having fun with this godsend ask. like. tysm anon. i love it. you have no idea how amazed and happy i am to see this ask. good shit. another big brained anon ftw. also i hope i did it some justice 😭 i really enjoyed writing their chemistry,, it’s so cute hehe

𖦹 a pinch of angst, drinking, alcohol, an attempt at a cute scenario

In all the years that Zhongli has known you, there was nothing short of joy and amusement that you brought into his life. Since the day he met you up on one of the mountains he’s shaped and created, you’ve enticed him and drew him in so effortlessly and he complied, growing closer like a moth to a flame. You were the sun that everybody looked forward to — him more so.

And he wasn’t wrong with his judgment, you gave what you offered. You were the gentle glow and the warmth that radiated on the nights that he’s cold. Always blessing him with that smile of yours — how ironic was it that he was the famed archon, and yet he looked to you and worshipped you far more than anyone in the people of Liyue could ever do so with him. To him, you were the unsung deity, the person that deserved a throne but never needed one, your benevolence exceeded anyone’s expectations and anyone wouldn’t be ashamed to have you.

You are Zhongli’s pride and joy, the only one capable of forging the embers of passion that sweltered within him. You are his everything.

And even with such a kind attitude, you were no downer. You exhibited a form of exuberance that immediately drew everyone in. With that warming smile of yours, everyone wanted to be near you for a chance (though Zhongli still with the characteristics of the draconic Morax would refuse anything closer, you were his even before he staked his claim).

Said exuberance of yours often turned you into a mad riot — a whirlwind of pure excitement that anyone could barely keep up with. Zhongli had to stifle a quiet laugh when he had to come get you from Wanmin restaurant, Guoba scolding you as you tried to beat Xiangling on who can eat the most Jueyun Chilis. You lost to young girl, but Xiangling wasn’t doing any better. You tried to reason out that you were losing on purpose, but with your labored breathing and your adorably red face, Zhongli could tell otherwise.

Often times, Zhongli would get dragged into such schemes, to the point that he has to save you from plummeting down into Osial’s prison when you tried to propose to him to be your lover in the stone forest. It truly was memorable for all the wrong (and right) reasons.

You’ve endeared him when you took the leap of faith and came to him with open arms, ready to finally have him after the long-winded pining, the hinting glances he would give you, and the way the former archon only seems to care about you and only you far more than anyone else.

Being with you was nothing short of delightful. Everyday, Zhongli would wake up to your breathtaking smiles and home-cooked breakfast. You entertained his endeavors and stories that could last for days, even making remarks of your own. You bought him trinkets that ranged from something simple, to something he knew even Tartaglia’s bank would quiver at. You were perfect.

Well. Generously speaking.

By all means, you weren’t a bad partner or a lover, you gave him everything, from the material possessions, down to the intimate moments you and him shared.

It was only that there are times, when Zhongli would be left in the silence of your shared home, he would zone into those moments that were so intimate emotionally and found… that it was only him that ever shared the appreciations, the loving gratitude, and the genuine love that he feels for you. And you accepted it wholeheartedly, only to turn the other way and continue on with what you’re doing.

It worried him greatly.

Even more when his thoughts were proven right as you held him so closely as you and him laid under the shade of the tree, with him comfortably resting on top of you. He could hear your heartbeat from your chest, as he laid his ear on it, quiet thumping can be heard and if he were to listen close enough, there was a timber of kindness and love inside it.

He sighed, content and at peace within your arms, “I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated life more than now…”

“Hm? Why do you say that?” You asked, hands slowly removing itself from his waist as you played around with the strands of his hair. “You’re not dying on me, are you?” You jested and he only scoffed with no malice. Ever the joker you are, it’s ridiculous how he fell for such charms.

“I am merely appreciating the finer things in life. Madame Ping has urged me to talk more about it,” a mere white lie for him to coax out your vulnerability. Madame Ping was far too aware of his happiness now that he has you — she was always the one on the receiving end of his talk of fondness about you.

“Oh? Then what makes you appreciate this life then?”

“Complications are far behind me now that I’m no longer the one in control… everything feels so much simpler yet so intricate,” he looked up at you, chin resting on your chest as he flashed you a small smile. “All of it because now I have you. I love you, [Name]. I would give you all the stars if I could, and slay a thousand beasts to keep you from harm… you are my everything and without you, I can no longer see myself as something…”

He watched with glee as your eyes widened at his words, no doubt taken by surprise. Zhongli can feel it, your vulnerability, ready to bare itself to him with the same level of intimacy as he’s displayed. Just that, and he can be the most content man in the world.

“I— ah, that’s good.”

Zhongli blinked owlishly as you stumbled over your words. Struggled even. He felt your muscles tense up beneath him.

“Good. I’m glad you’re happy, dearest.”

He couldn’t shield you from the way his eyes flashed a smidge of hurt at your response. And you weren’t an idiot. A bit reckless to the point of trouble following you, sure, but you were far from ignorant. Especially to your lover. You frowned a little and tilted his chin up, “Hey now, don’t make that face. I’m glad you’re feeling okay in the life that you’ve been living. And I love you too,” you tried to salvage what you could but even you were aware at how lacking it was.

Zhongli wasn’t unappreciative of your efforts, but he could only nod and stomach the gnawing worry inside him as he felt your lips brush against the skin of his forehead. Surely there’s a way to pry you open, right? There was something holding you back… and he doesn’t know what.

He was aware already that despite how accepting you seem, no one has ever seen you so vulnerable. You were an individual so full of life, but you never once wore your heart on your sleeves. And if people could look past those smiles of yours that are just so full of life, they would’ve known just how closed off you truly are. It was confusing, really, and Zhongli was starting to doubt things.

If he can’t even know your true feelings… then what’s stopping you from suddenly going up and leaving, only to never come back? Zhongli was heartbroken at the thought, he can’t lose you, not in a million years and even more than that.

But how… in Teyvat is he going to pry you open?

“ALCOHOL!!”

Zhongli almost yelped as he watched the poor you crash into the cobble streets of the harbor, jolting at the sight of the infamous Crux Captain on top of your back, with an incredibly huge smile on her face. He grimaced at your weak groan. He knows you can stomach a little pain. He knows that after he watched you confront Azhdaha to help the traveler into coaxing him to give them some materials for something important.

“[Name]!! I’ve arrived with a hundred souvenirs and a thousand more kegs! Courtesy of the rich lady up top, of course.” Beidou cackled as she finally got off of you, helping you up to your feet. “Oh! Hey there! Hope you don’t mind me borrowing your beloved for awhile!” She winked at Zhongli… but from her one eye, it only seemed like a mere blink.

Zhongli tilted his head a little as the look of confusion crossed his features, “Pardon? What do you mean by that, Captain Beidou?”

You dusted off the last bits of dust on your clothing and laughed a little, “Ah, I almost forgot. Y’see, before Beidou left, she told me I owe her a challenge.”

“A challenge?” The former archon cocked an eyebrow.

“A challenge!” Beidou parroted with a loud laugh, patting your back rather strongly to the point that you almost went back down to kiss the ground. “I challenged [Name] into the greatest drinking contest ever! Them against me, of course! It’s finally time for us to prove who’s the one that can hold the most liquor in the world!”

Zhongli looked at you questioningly, and you returned it with a shrug, “It’s what she wanted. And she won’t leave me alone until I say yes. If I didn’t I probably wouldn’t have been able to leave the ship.”

“Like there was even a chance for you to say no!” Beidou laughed again before patting your back and Zhongli’s shoulder, “Alright, I’ll see you in Liuli Pavilion! The booze is waiting and I don’t want my rival backing out!”

You had to rub your back from the soreness and sighed, “Though I doubt she’ll win, you have to admire the captain’s spirit. It’s hard not to honor her request.”

Zhongli stepped nearer and fixed up the lapels of your suit, smiling a little, “You know it’s a rather unfair match, right? While the Captain is amazing, you’re basically impossible to even get drunk.”

“That may be true, but hey, who knows?”

Who knows, indeed — is what all Zhongli could say as he gawked at the many barrels of alcohol that were stacked upon each other. The captain was not kidding, she secured barrels of it even, and the spark of glee that was within her eyes was relatively alarming. He merely tagged along so he can at least help clean up, but now curiosity was lingering at the back of his mind.

He’s never once seen you drunk. Often times, it’ll be him already mumbling about on the occasions that you and him would go out and drink to unwind (often in the company of one harbinger who would always challenge you and subsequently lose). He’s even seen you offer a handicap and drink Snezhnaya’s fire water in one bottle and Tartaglia still got wasted first.

You simply held your alcohol so well. Zhongli figured maybe this was the reason for Beidou’s challenge, to finally outdo you.

And Zhongli would have called it a night if it hadn’t turned for the unexpected.

But before that, expectantly, Beidou was out. She couldn’t beat you, and probably not even a million years. But she managed far more than any other human out there, swigging drink after drink with little to no care, keeping up with you all the more. It was almost inhuman, really, to see her empty the huge beer glass with so much gusto, the accompanying snacks as chasers left to the crew members who were also around to witness their captain’s victory.

And when she finally tapped out, surprisingly, you… you were already drunk.

Zhongli waited in bated breath as you and him were the only ones awake in the establishment. He was positive even the owners had to have dozed off with how long this competition has been going on already.

“Z…Zhooooong…zhongzhong…” you murmured and he was already by your side in a flash.

“Dear? Are you alright?” The concern inside him was quelled as he watched your flushed cheeks brighten even more. You’ve had one too many to the point that you were barely coherent. He was surprised to say the least — seeing you so feverish and so drunk.

“Zhonnnngggzzzzzzzli,” he blinked as you looked up, letting go of the beer glass you had in your hand. “Did I… win?”

“Sure did. We’re the only ones awake.” He laughed.

You raised a wobbly and weak fist in victory, “H….Hhhh…. Y-Yep. D-Das’right… I am the… undefeated champ,” your fist landed softly on the back of Beidou’s head, bonking her slightly with a slurred grin, “Take that… you… sea lady thing…”

Zhongli sighed a little, it was definitely in your fashion to get yourself into this kind of situation. Definitely your style to agree to something as ridiculous as a drinking contest and get drunk for the very first time. A smile tugged on the corner of his lips, “I will go get you some water and carry you home, yes?” He said and you nodded.

Only that when he did stand up to get water, you pulled him back down from his coattails, making him sit on your lap.

“[Name], I…”

“Shhhshshshshhh, no. Shush.” You huffed, enveloping his waist with your arms as you buried your face into his chest. He let out a breath, “Shush.” You chided and Zhongli obliged, trying to breathe quietly… however that’s done.

You and him stayed in silence, and he relished in the feeling of you within him. It was a sight to behold, something he will definitely remember for all eternity.

“Zhongli…” you murmured into the fabric of his coat, he only let out a quiet hum in response, playing with your hair like you did with him before. “I love you.”

“I know, dear. And I lo—”

“No!” You suddenly yelled and one of the crew members stirred at your volume, but you could care less. You lifted your head from his chest and held his shoulders, pulling him back a little as you looked at him square in his eyes. “I. Really. Love. You.”

Zhongli smiled a little and nodded. But you cut him off before he could say it back again, “I don’t think you realize just… how much… I love you. It’s ridiculous. I love you so much that it’s soooo annoying,” you drawled and the former archon had to wonder what you meant.

Lucky him that you were going to tell anyway. It seemed as though a moment of sobriety and clarity came upon you, as your lazy slurring left your system while you spoke.

“You… are probably one of the best things that ever happened to me. I know I don’t say it much, but,” you hiccuped and Zhongli only then saw the tears cascading down your face, “I really, really, really love you so much. You have no idea how much it broke me when I saw your face before. You looked so sad, Zhongli, so, so, soooo sad. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it before, love. I don’t know what came over me, and I—!”

“Oh dear,” an airy chuckle left Zhongli’s parted lips as he watched you suddenly break open the emotions you held in your indestructible dam, flowing through like the tears in your eyes.

“I just— I just… I just!!! I just love you so much, man! Y-You treat me so well and give me all that I hope for!” You wailed so dramatically and Zhongli had to wonder if anyone woke up (he hopes not for the sake of your dignity and that he only wishes to be the only man to see this side of you), “Zhongli, I will marry you. It’s not even a want to do kind of thing anymore, I-I feel like if I don’t have you, I will die.”

It wasn’t even your intention, but soon tears pricked at the ends of his eyes, sniffling at your display, “Let’s hope we do not come to that point, yes?”

You pouted a little, “…Yes… Anyway… I’m… sorry I couldn’t say much… it’s hard for me, I guess,” you confessed and Zhongli understood. He always will for you. “But please understand… that if I also could, I would bring you not just stars but all worlds, that for your safety, I will not just kill a thousand threats but also build the strongest home… I will do it all for you…”

Suddenly, the fears within Zhongli were quelled and sent away as you finally gave out, letting him know that his worries were nothing but anxiety and that he will always have a place in your heart. He could feel his cheeks warm at your proposition earlier of tying the knot, even he couldn’t resist the giddiness that flooded his system at your drunken promise. It was enough for him to know that you still loved him even when it was expressed through a drunken honesty.

“…I love you… Zhongzhong…” you took your final shred of consciousness to breathe out your little declaration, eyes finally closing as you gave into the blissful slumber.

He cupped your cheeks and pecked your lips with a content smile, “I love you too, [Name].”

Zhongli was right about himself when you finally laid your feelings to him so openly. Because right now, he can confidently claim that he is most content man in the world.

#this fic is just me flexing my high alcohol tolerance too #shsjsidmc #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x gn reader #genshin impact x male reader #zhongli x gender neutral reader #zhongli x gn reader #zhongli x male reader #zhongli x reader #jhuzen’s stupid one shots

[wanderinginksplot]

Sev + "I'm going to give you five seconds to take that back."

Sev x gn!reader (no use of 'y/n' and no pronouns). Flirty (ish).

Word Count: 2,400

Warnings: discussions of medical concerns, references to missions, stimulant misuse, grandstanding, ill-planned bets, semi-flirtatious wrestling.

---

It had all started when you tried to talk your most recent set of charges into being more healthy. 

Delta Squad had been a source of constant frustration for you since you were assigned to be their medic. Normally, commando squads weren’t overly concerned about having a medic on-board. However, Delta had a close call on a previous mission. One commando, Sev, had been in especially bad shape. 

Some time in a bacta tank had fixed the worst of their injuries, but there were certain limits they shouldn’t push if they wanted to avoid a repeat. Sev needed to be particularly careful, since he had suffered damage to his ribs and many of the organs within them - including his heart. 

Which was why you had been irretrievably furious when you found him downing a packet of stims. 

“Are you trying to die?” you had demanded. “Because I know you’re not stupid, and those are the only possible reasons you would be using stims with damage to your heart. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that I have a mission to complete and I don’t have eight hours to sleep before we get there.”

Honestly, you could have expected that kind of answer, but the nonchalant tone Sev had used was what pushed you over the edge. 

“And when they wear off? You know, since you took them three hours before we even break atmosphere?” You had shaken your head, clenching your jaw so tightly that the muscles ached. “If you had bothered to talk to me, I would have advised you to sleep for that time, then take half a stim pack when we arrive.”

“I don’t need some vorpan baar'ur telling me what to do,” he had spat. “As long as I can do my job, the GAR doesn’t worry about the little things. Including my health or my life.”

You didn’t understand the Mando’a, obviously, but that didn’t stop you from rolling your eyes at the drama of his caustic words. 

“Apparently, having someone tell you what to do is exactly what you needI” you had countered. “Do you know what kind of shape you’ll be in after another dose of stims? Even I would be able to beat you in a wrestling match! Some use you’ll be to your brothers then.”

It was a bit too far, and you felt bad as silence fell in the small ship. You had worked with enough troopers to know that they prided themselves on loyalty to their brothers above all else. In your defense, though, you recognized the signs of someone who wouldn’t be talked out of their nihilism. By meeting him head-on using the parameters of life as he saw it, you had hoped to shake him out of his stubbornness. 

It was only bad luck that it hadn’t worked. Sev’s expression had darkened and you prepared yourself for a threat or a cutting insult, but Scorch had laughed, breaking the tension.

“Sounds like a good, old-fashioned bet,” he had said, chuckling in a way that could only be described as ‘gleeful’. 

Sev had scoffed and walked away without another word, but your luck ran out.

Delta Squad had gotten a call from General Jusik, alerting them that the leader of the Separatist-controlled planet had opted for a peace talk. As a gesture of good faith, the GAR was withdrawing the commando squads who had been set to invade.

“We’ve been redirected,” Boss announced when Jusik disconnected the call. The sergeant stepped out of the small cockpit where he had been navigating with Fixer. “We’re to touch down on a Republic-friendly planet in the next system and settle in. We’ll be backup if things go south, so stay ready to go. Get some sleep if you can.”

“Those of us who didn’t already take a packet of stims,” you had muttered when Sev went back to cleaning his blaster instead of heading for the bunks. 

Unfortunately, your sarcasm would prove to be your undoing. Scorch perked up at your quiet admonishment, visibly brightening. “Hey, didn’t you say you could beat Sev in hand-to-hand when he’s using stims?”

“Yes,” you confirmed, holding eye contact with Scorch, but trying to watch Sev in your peripheral vision.

“I’m going to give you five seconds to take that back,” Sev growled. When you looked over, you saw that he very much was not focusing on his blaster anymore. 

“I don’t think I will.” The way you lifted your chin was nothing short of antagonistic, but you were angry. Clarity of thought while angry had never been your forte. Despite that, you clocked the gray undertones in Sev’s face and the way his fingers were trembling slightly. “In fact, I think I could beat you now, whether or not you take another dose.” 

“You’re on,” Sev told you, a challenge thick in his tone. 

“Wait-” How you hadn’t seen this coming, you weren’t sure, but your stomach was sinking. “I didn’t mean I actually want to wrestle you. I’m just telling you, as a medical professional, that-”

“Hey, you already said you would,” Scorch reminded you. “Too late to go back on it now.”

“Knock it off, Six-Two. It isn’t too late for anything,” Fixer told him, turning around in the cockpit to face you all. Before you could thank him, he continued as he eyed you directly. “It’s actually a choice: wrestle Oh-Seven or admit that stims aren’t that bad.”

“They are that bad, though,” you insisted. 

“If you’re going to wrestle on my ship, do it in the cargo bay,” Boss said over his shoulder. “I don’t want to explain broken equipment to the GAR.”

“This isn’t enough of a challenge to break anything,” Sev decreed. He watched you as he set aside his blaster and stood. “Cargo bay. Five minutes.”

It was overdramatic to specify a time and place on such a small ship, but it still made the pit of your stomach tighten. You took care to offer him an unimpressed face and a simple nod. 

"This is gonna be fun!" Scorch said excitedly. 

You strongly disagreed, but that wasn’t going to help. It was far too late for that. So you stifled your misgivings and made your way to the back of the ship. 

Sev had stripped off his armor by the time you got there. That hadn’t been a concern, but you wondered if it should have been. There was nothing at all you could do against plastoid armor. However, much as you loathed to admit it even to yourself… you were almost as disadvantaged anyway. The sight of Sev’s muscles swelling and bulging under the tightness of his body glove was enough to make the ship feel like it was lurching through the galaxy. 

You were wearing comfortable clothes, having refused to change into your lightly armored medic’s gear until you were closer to your eventual destination. You were comfortable and didn’t have to strip off any clothing, but that was almost a pity. It was starting to feel distinctly warm aboard the small ship…

“Ready?” Sev asked. 

You nodded, resigned to being decimated by the fully-trained commando. He didn’t attack immediately, choosing to watch you instead. You circled warily, already closer than you liked. The cargo bay of the ship was reasonably big and, as promised, you weren’t going to break anything. That should keep Boss happy, but there still wasn’t a vast amount of space. 

So you and Sev circled around, watching each other. You were focused on his chest: all of the hand-to-hand training the GAR had offered told you that motion was typically forecasted in the torso, so that was the best place to watch if you wanted to avoid being surprised. 

When you occasionally snuck a glance at Sev, he was watching your face rather than your torso. At first, you wondered if you should be doing the same with him, but then you started to feel flustered rather than wary at the weight of his eyes. 

That was when he pounced. 

You managed to avoid the first lunge, but you weren’t expecting him to recover his balance as quickly as he did. In half a moment, Sev was upright once more and diving at you. 

A strong arm hooked around your waist and you were falling, cushioned from the ground by Sev’s body, but the impact still knocked the air from your lungs. Sev flipped you over and you made your move, rolling quickly out from under him before he had time to close the distance between you. 

You got to your feet - or, you started to. Sev’s hand closed around your ankle and pulled. It wasn’t enough to put you back on the floor, but it was enough to bring you heavily to your hands and knees. Since you were already in the proper position, you kicked out with your foot and felt a surge of victory when your heel connected. 

And then you were horrified, turning around as you gave a loud gasp. “Sev! Are you okay? I’m so sorry-”

There was a small smudge of dirt on his forehead from your boot, but Sev’s grin flashed bright. “I’m fine. Keep going.”

And then he grabbed both of your ankles, pulling hard enough that your knees went out from under you and you landed on your stomach with a soft, “Oof!”

Sudden heat at your back warned that Sev was getting ready to pin you, so you rolled again. He seemed to expect the movement then, dropping onto you in mid-turn from your side to your back. 

With a sudden, surging need to keep your freedom, you pulled back a fist. Your goal was Sev’s recently injured ribs, but you came to your senses before the blow came too close to landing. You were a medic, and every bit of training you had received covered how to prevent injuries, not cause them. 

Sev didn’t know that, however, and he winced sharply. He curled into himself in an effort to protect his ribs - a motion that only put more pressure on them. The flash of pain across his face would have made you stop even if you hadn’t already decided to do so. 

“Are you-?”

Before you could ask if he was hurt, he had reached down, snagged your wrists, and pressed them against the cold metal of the floor. You were pinned. 

You were on your back with a commando pressing you into the floor, but you both… stopped. Your breathing was heavy and - with more than a little surprise - you noticed that Sev’s was, too. Of course, his ribs probably still hurt and you would have to check him for a boot-borne head injury, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he was feeling anything other than pain.

You definitely were. 

The chilly bite of the floor at your back faded into the distance as you and Sev studied each other from closer than you had ever been. Sev always looked vaguely angry, but you had wondered if that was his natural expression. That seemed to be true: if you didn’t know him as well as you did, you would have taken his expression to be one of irritation and disdain. But there was softness in it, too. That was what left you feeling like you couldn’t get a full breath. 

“Well, Sev, I’d say you won,” Boss remarked dryly. 

The comment pulled you back into the moment and you realized that Boss, Fixer, and Scorch were all observing the scene. It felt vaguely ridiculous then, wondering what it would be like to kiss the man who currently had you pinned to the dirty floor. But as Sev released his grip and stood, you missed the warmth of him like it was something tangible.

To your surprise, though, Sev held a hand out to you in a silent offer to help you stand. You took it and he lifted you easily. The silence was thick. 

You cleared your throat. “Well, I guess I was wrong. One stim pack isn’t enough for me to win a wrestling match. I still think-”

“Save it,” Sev ordered and you froze. No matter what you thought had changed between you, it wasn’t enough to save you from his sharp tongue. But when he spoke again, Sev’s voice was far more gentle. “It was closer than I thought it would be. Another few minutes and I would have probably lost. I’ll lay off the stims.”

“Aww, no rematch?” Scorch complained. 

Fixer made a sharply derisive noise and left for the cockpit. “I’ll pilot us to the staging planet.”

“All of you, get some rest,” Boss ordered before he left as well. 

Scorch lingered a moment, glancing between you and Sev. You were still standing close together, the tension palpable between you. Unlike most of your interactions, that tension was not actively hostile. 

You were torn between wanting Scorch to leave so you and Sev could talk about what had just happened, and wanting him to stay so you didn’t have to. Slowly, like he was watching something interesting unfold before his eyes, Scorch turned and retreated to his bunk. Since the bunks were in the section just ahead of the cargo bay, Scorch was still in hearing range, but a sense of privacy settled thickly around you and Sev. 

When you finally gathered the courage to look over, Sev was watching you. Neither of you spoke, and your mind raced in an effort to find the right words. 

Your lips parted, though you didn’t have the slightest idea what you planned on saying. Fortunately, Sev spoke before you could say some muddled assortment of words that might mean nothing… or too much. 

“We should sleep while we can,” he told you. After a moment, he added with a wry grin, “Some medic told me I need actual rest, not just stim packs.”

It was more familiar ground, and you relaxed enough to jibe, “What disappointing news.”

“Yeah,” Sev agreed. “But the delivery made it a little better.”

You could only shake your head as you followed him to the bunks.

---

Author's Note - I love Sev wayyyyy too much! I have written more fics for him than for any other member of Delta Squad. That being said, I'm going to focus on Scorch and Boss next since I haven't done much for them. If you have any great ideas for either one that you'd like to throw my way, feel free to comment, ask, or message!

Thanks for reading! You can find other works on my masterlist. As of a few days ago, I discontinued my taglist. You can find just fics on my side-blog, @wanderinginksplot-writes. (As soon as I work through my drafts on this blog, all fics will be posted there first and cross-posted here later.)

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars republic commando #star wars legends #delta squad #republic commando #repcomm #delta squad sev #sev x reader #sev x you #reader insert #reader #gn!reader

[solance-fics]

Holy devil {priest Sanji x alt/gothic fem reader}

Tw: religious themes, priest Sanji,



This is due to the fact that I am absolutely obsessed with @hunnismokah s priest Sanji art and I’m not sorry

This is also probably poorly written cuz I have written anything in like a year LMAO

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sanjis pov:

In all honesty today started completely normal, I woke up , did my morning routine , got ready for mass , welcomed everyone who attended in , held mass and now i was saying my goodbyes. Yet today one of the patrons decided to talk to me, Jane was her name. She was a sweet young woman about a two years younger than myself and her personality was as i could only describe as pure. She volunteered every week at the food drive i held for the local homeless community, she came to mass every week, not to mention she dressed in a modest way. A woman of faith is what she was and as of recently we have became friends. Though i wouldn’t ever voice this, i wanted to be with her yet unfortunately she revealed that she was think of joining the church as a sister.

Smiling softly and nodding to what she said , we walked outside. I respected her wishes and even encouraged her to do so, saying I’ll talk to one of the sisters i knew to help her out. Yet when the got outside is when this normal Sunday turned into what i felt was a test from the lord himself. Jane let out a small excited squeal as she ran towards a woman dressed in all black leaving against what was a hearse. Her hair was down , and her makeup was simple yet dark. Shadow and liner as black as coal and lips pained with a color of wine.

As I looked at her outfit I almost lost my composure, her top was a deep red with black swirls adoring it, her pants were tight and looked leather like, and on her feet were black combat boots. Yet what caught my attention was the necklace the rested at the top of her cleavage. Saint Peter’s cross rested in silver on her skin, that alone told me one of two things. One she was a woman of the devil or two she was a woman who was humble and I could decide which meaning I wished to be true.

“(Y/N) you’re here! You said you’d be coming on Tuesday!” Wrapping her arm around (y/n) Jane jumped up and down in excitement with a huge grin on her face. Letting out a small chuckle (y/n) hugged her friend back softly. “I may have told a small lie in order to surprise you, I figured if I came today I can get started on unpacking. Some of my stuff is in the back. Besides I figured I could treat you to lunch if you weren’t busy.” Jane pulled away from the hug and laughs”I’m not busy at all besides it was a lie that was meant for something good. Oh! That’s father Sanji , he’s the one I told you about!”

Y/n’s pov:

I looked where Jane pointed and my eyes widened for a second , when Jane mentioned a father Sanji I was expecting some middle aged man. Not some hot dude who looked our age, he had a goatee, and his blonde hair was pulled back into a lose ponytail yet he had this fringe that covers his right eye. In all honesty I only thought priests like him only existed in fanfics, but hey I wasn’t going to complain.

“Well in that case good afternoon father , I hope your sermon went well.” I give him a small grin. I observed how he stiffened up before shakily smiling back. “I-it did , thank you.” Fighting back a smirk I gave him a small nod. “I hope we can properly converse some other time, though it was nice to finally met you. Jane here wouldn’t stop rambling about her new friend father Sanji” I chuckle a bit. I take a few steps forward and open the passenger side door for Jane.

“Perhaps the next time Jane comes? “ Sanji spoke and i could faintly hear tiniest bit of hope in. Smirking to myself a shut the door once Jane got in the hearse. Taking my time walking to the divers side I give the priest a small teasing grin. “Maybe, but I’m not worthy of stepping into the lords house father. Yet I might just this once if that’s what you’d allow me father?” Letting out a cough Sanji nods and I take that as a sign to get into the drivers seat.

As I drive away I head Jane giggle “you gave the poor man a nose bleed! I had a feeling he struggled deeply with the sin of lust but still!” Letting out a snort and small chuckle i sake my head a bit “maybe I will join you the next time I go, he was hot. Maybe I should pray and thank god for making him?” I joke with a loud laugh earning me a small smack on my shoulder.

“I thought you weren’t very religious (n/n) ?” Jane teases. “If he’s the father around here I might just have a reason the attend church even if it’s for selfish reasons”

#one piece x reader #one piece sanji #priest sanji #vinsmoke sanji #reader insert #female reader

[alchemie-tarot]

Pick A Sunset: What Does The Universe Want You To Learn and How Can You Move Towards It?

Note: Happy bow and arrow season! 🏹  It’s time to let that inner Archer take his aim and make his mark. Sagittarius wants to set you free and have some fun. Most of all, he wants you to gain a deeper understanding of yourself.

Feel free to choose the pile/s you feel called to. Some details may not resonate with you since this is a general reading. As always, nothing is set in stone, so please don’t take it too seriously. I hope these will be able to give you some enlightenment. ✨

(Extra: I took these pictures for one of my Photography classes when I was in college.)

Pile 1

Cards: Knight of Wands, 7 of Swords, King of Swords, The Hanged Man

You need a proper strategy to get things done. You know you want that success. Your success– however you define it, whatever path you have chosen. The universe wants you to harness that fiery passion inside of you, like the Knight of Wands does to his red steed. To charge up your determination so that you can go full speed ahead.

I see that some of you are tempted to take an easy way out and ditch making a master plan altogether. Playing on the safe side with a “no plan is the best plan” kind of mindset. For others, you may have convinced yourself to turn away from what’s calling you. You may not believe that you deserve to pursue this, or you may fear the demanding nature of truly fulfilling your dreams.

The universe points out that this is a matter of the mind. You need to look at things objectively in order to make something concrete of this mixed bag of possibilities and doubts. Let go of unnecessary expectations. Don’t be afraid to sit with the uncertainties and explore them deeper. There is a truth about yourself you will independently come to know. Your intellect is on your side and will help you stick to the facts. 

I feel like sitting still can feel like a sacrifice for some of you, so take it as it resonates. I see that it may help to write things down, or to talk to yourself in a firm but fair way. It’s okay to take your time and wait for a bit. You will arrive at a decision that will have taken a lot of careful thought. Fun and adventure await you on the other side.

===

Pile 2

Cards: The Star, 8 of Cups, Queen of Wands, The Fool

“You’re on Your Own, Kid” by Taylor Swift played in my head. I know it’s not a popular choice from Midnights, but I can totally see parallels from the song and from this pile (I’m a Swiftie so I’m all about it). Basically, it’s the cycle of having high hopes for something, seeing it turn out not quite what you expected, and learning lessons from it that no one can take away from you. Situations change and level up in some way as we grow older, but the cycle continues. “Everything you lose is a step you take.” 

You may currently be in a big transition or are about to embark on one. The universe prompts you to let the optimism of The Star card be your guide. You may have been disillusioned by familiarity and think of stepping out of your comfort zone. Something new and healing awaits you when you decide to walk away for good, and towards the longer term.

I also felt the message “less is more.” The forgotten 8 of Cups tell me you may have explored a number of options that weren’t fulfilling, but are about to find that fulfilment in The Star’s overflowing jugs. Quality over quantity.

Looking at the cards in the order I laid them out, you can see that the colour yellow increases. A beautiful journey of attracting what you want by simply believing that you will get it. Easier said than done, I know, especially when you feel like you’re going nowhere. Blind faith is a theme in your reading so things will still unfold even if you feel that way, don’t worry.

The universe urges you to know what you want, to be bold and to own it. New connections are on their way to you, but you must be sure that they align with you. This is a wake-up call not to settle. When I shuffle my cards I usually wait for them to flip or fall out of the deck, but this time the deck seemed sticky and I had to choose which ones wanted to jump out. Being confident can be a conscious choice.

At the end of the reading you have The Fool, the ultimate card for beginnings and a reminder of your excellent potential. You got this. You’re surrounded by encouraging energy; I feel like it’s your inner child, for most of you. They will help you keep your baggage light and greet whatever lies ahead with a smile.

===

Pile 3

Cards: 3 of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, 7 of Swords Rx, 2 of Wands

My hardworking pile. First of all, I see that you’re not giving yourself enough credit for whatever it is that you’ve been working on. In fact, you should be proud of yourself and celebrate those successes, no matter how “small” and unconventional they are. Seriously, even the slightest changes. There’s always movement in the universe, but it’s not always visible. If you have doubts about it, it may help if you look back at where you started. You’ll be surprised by all the progress you’ve made!

A lot of you seem like the ‘lone wolf’ type when it comes to the grind. Being independent is admirable, but the universe nudges you to come out of your shell a bit. New collaborations are around the corner, offering not just to fill your schedule with productive and meaningful work, but to also fill your cup of emotions as well. These new connections will open your heart and feel like a balm to your soul. For others who have been thinking about something on the creative side, this is definitely a sign to cultivate it.

You’re on your way to become a master of your craft, but you need to reevaluate your approach. You need to drop your pretenses about this. You may want to avoid any kind of interference, or feel overwhelmed at the thought of another in your space. It doesn’t have to happen all at once; you can start with a simple partnership (as signified by 2 of Wands) and grow your network bit by bit, one step at a time.

Things are about to come together. You’re carving your own route and you will soon be at a crossroads. Don’t be afraid to expand. Each element of the suits are present in the cards, balancing your energy. You are more than ready. 

===

Pile 4

Cards: 5 of Pentacles, 5 of Swords Rx, King of Swords, Judgment

You’ve been through it, Pile 4. I can sense that you’ve been carrying some form of struggle for a while that made you feel alone and made it hard for you to see much else. I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you can take it easy on yourself real soon.

Fives often carry a heavy and unstable energy to them. More than that, it is a temporary energy because Fives are all about change. The universe means to say that you can’t win all the time because you don’t have to. The universe assures you, this is not your be-all and end-all. You’re entitled to process this grief, to take your time to come to terms with it, but at some point, when there’s not much left to do anymore, you must cut your losses and learn to see beyond it. I’m getting a strong feeling of lack from a lot of you. This struggle is behind you now.

I don’t find it easy to impart tough-love kind of advice because I believe each struggle is unique to the person and that there can be movements related to that I’m not meant to see nor understand. The universe sends a firm message for you to evaluate yourself in order to release those feelings of doom and gloom. You must tackle the truths about yourself that hurt. Do so by sticking to the facts and not sticking them to your identity. Where you’ve been and what you’ve been through is not who you are. These can affect your emotions strongly so do your best to be fair to yourself.

This period of awakening will present different paths forward for each one of you. What they all have in common is strong renewal and clarity. Take care of your health, please, and try not to isolate yourself. Surround yourself with your trusted friends and loved ones. It will all come to an end soon. There is always more after.

===

Pile 5

Cards: 6 of Pentacles, 2 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles, The Chariot Rx

It seems that this reading is all about balance. I was a little confused at first looking at the cards at face value because the card that followed the previous one kept contradicting it, for me. You seem to be faced with a series of choices in a certain area of your life. Knowing when to give and when to take. The universe advises that instead of one or the other, it’s both, and how they can apply and fulfil their purpose in a situation.

You must focus in order to determine which works for you at a given time. Do the necessary research and pay attention to details. In fact, a strategic move could end up multiplying rewards in your favour. Approach it decisively, but do not rush into it. Lay some boundaries if it can help you take things step by step. 

The 7 of Pentacles and The Chariot in reverse tells me to remember to stop and smell the roses from time to time. Observe. Relax. Doing things in one go is convenient and efficient in theory but is not sustainable in the long run. If you lose a streak, know that it’s okay, things can’t always be in your control. Losing that desire will help you breathe easier.

You have a pair of sevens in the latter half of the reading because the Chariot is number seven in the Major Arcana cards. 77. Luck is on your side. Trust yourself.

===

Pile 6

Cards: Ace of Swords, The High Priestess Rx, 7 of Pentacles, Ace of Cups

Have you had a breakthrough lately? Congratulations! New ideas and ventures should be celebrated, but in your case, you’re encouraged to do so in privacy. Don’t reveal information about your plans just yet. I don’t really sense anything harmful that can compromise them, just that you must let them take root first without external influences.

Keep your secrets safe; it can help you stay centered. I know it can be exciting and tempting to share your good news to the world. There will be a time for that. For now, give these emotions the freedom to be in solitude. I see that others are cultivating their inner voice. That’s great! Just make sure they’re always aligned with your best interests. 

Your creative energy is building up. Foster this connection between yourself and your chosen craft. It will make you so happy, you have no idea. Learning to channel your emotions into your creations will make a stable foundation out of these new beginnings. 

Things have just begun and they will only get better from here. Just remember to protect your beautiful and important inner world and let it expand on its own for the meantime. You will know when it’s time to lift the curtain along the way.

===

That would be all! Thank you for taking the time to interact with this reading. Feel free to let me know how you found it, if it resonated or not, etc. You’re more than welcome to send me feedback or details about it. 

Stay safe and have a cosmic week ahead! 🌇

#pick a pile #pick a picture #pick an image #pick a card #pac #tarot messages #tarot #general reading #pick a card reading #pick a pile reading #tarotblr #tarot community #pac reading #tarot reading #divination #tarot lessons #message for you #universe message #spirit message #sagittarius #sagittarius season #bow and arrow #the archer

[vanquishedhydra]

A Letter to the God I Used to Believe In

Dear God—

I was never able to find you in church. Ever. I looked, I searched, every week I went. But you—you. weren’t. there.

And I was—am angry. At you? At the church officials? I don’t know. Maybe at myself…for not being “good enough”, for not measuring up to your own impossible standards, for not “loving my neighbor” or “having enough faith”, and I… I hate it.

I hated it, still hate it. Because, just by being myself, I’m not good enough for you. Maybe I never was.

But that doesn’t matter, because I don’t care.

It felt wrong to take communion after three to four years of not having been in a church, it felt wrong to sing when I was losing my faith in a church pew, like a bucket with a hole in the bottom.

And you know what? It’s funny that I never found you in church.

Because I found you in a lot of other places. Like public school bathrooms, where you smelled like vanilla cookies, or in my bedroom, where we laughed at shadows after nightmares, or watching sunsets from the backseat of my mom’s car.

I found you in those things, the little moments. Sometimes in other people. But never where they said you would be. Never in a church building, for all their towering steeples and old wooden pews and stained glass windows.

I find you in the world outside, in other people, in the vastness of the universe. Because that is where I’ve been able to find you most often. Because that’s where I know you to be.

But that begs the question of whether you’re even there in the first place. I want to believe that you are, but I’m not sure.

That wasn’t a question, not really, and if it was, I don’t want to know the answer. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that everything is filtered through our own perceptions, and that just because someone tells us something, that doesn’t automatically make it true.

For all I know, and for all our hoping to the contrary, there is no paradise waiting on the other side. But maybe there’s no hell, either. Maybe there’s nothing, only the void of eternity.

We have a saying, don’t know if you’ve heard it: “if you stare at the void long enough the void stares back into you”. And maybe, we’re all doing that, staring into the void and wondering if the void is the universe, or you, or nothingness.

I think that perhaps, in some terrifying way, the void is us.

Maybe it’s saying that if you look back far enough, we are you and the Universe and Nothing and Everything, all at once, and we are human and we are the void, and everything is ultimately inside of something smaller, but that in the end, we are ourselves, and that is all we have to be.

But you never seemed to care about that, did you? Always searching for some reason to judge us, some unattainable standard of perfection for us—for yourself, even. One that you know deep down, you will never achieve because you are as flawed as any of us and yet you claw for the top of the mountain, just another rat in a maze, same as your creations.

But oh, we are made in your image, are we? Funny, that—the idea that you are just as bad off as us, perhaps even worse. We humans, small and insignificant as we are, ultimately have each other. But you? You don’t have anyone. You’re alone. You’re alone but you claim you’re not lonely, not desperate for understanding, for love, like a starving animal.

We both know you’re a liar. And that’s all you are. Maybe that’s all you’ve ever been. Empty promises, that’s all you give, and then expect me to follow after you, begging for scraps of your attention like some sort of dog.

I hate you. What kind of deity, what kind of person could view the sacrifice of their only child as something worthy of reverence, something worth being praised?

Congratulations, you are a child-murderer, and yet they laud you for it. I would’ve rather watched you writhe on that crossbeam and experience what you put your son through than him. He could’ve been happy. But you…you drove him, sent him to his demise, made him scared enough at the prospect of dying to sweat blood, all for your own sick amusement, and called it a blessing.

I hate you for it.

So, you can take your crosses and your blessings and your petty notions of sacrifice and love and care and shove them up your divine ass. I don’t want them, and I don’t want you. I’d say I’m sorry, but you’re not worth it. None of it was. This is my resignation letter from the horrible relationship that I was in with you, so feel free to wipe me off the face of the planet, you immature, selfish git.

I think I’ll be better off without you. Call it rebellion or sin or whatever you want, but I don’t care about what you think anymore. I refuse to let you and your tyrannical attitude dictate the course of my life, because I have felt like an inconvenience to you with every moment I spend with you, but I have come to realize that I am not. I am not an inconvenience because I am here for a reason, and I exist. I refuse to be your plaything, because I am a human being, and I am going to be better than anything you would have me be, even if I have spit in your face and walk away from you and everything I’ve grown up with to do it.

I hate you. And I’m glad I’ve never found you in church. Because you were never there in the first place.

Sincerely, but with much resentment,

—Me.

#ex christian #agnostic #christianity #christian faith #deconstruction #deconversion #letter to god

[georgiapeach30513]

Keys in Your Ignition, Part 11

Summary:  Curtis gathers your things, and you meet Howard Everett

Pairings:  Curtis Everett X Reader, the Everett’s X Reader

Rating:  mild

Warnings:  mentions of a child’s death, mentions of a miscarriage, language, depictions of depression, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  2.6K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

“When will you be back?” Curtis stops at the edge of the porch to turn around and look at you. With your arms crossed over your chest, you start scratching yourself uncomfortably. With a gently tug to your arms, he brings them down by your side.

“Soon. My dad’s coming home today,” that’s what worries you. New people. And you were hoping he liked you.

“What if he doesn’t like me?”

He lifts up your chin, giving you a big smile, “He’ll love you, Doll. It’s me he’s not fond of.”

“How?”

“Because I didn’t fulfill my destiny. Don’t worry about it. He doesn’t hate me. The club is a sore subject. Mom’s got your back. You could always stay with Steve,” you shake your head no rapidly. You weren’t quite ready to see Steve yet.

“You want your phone back?” he reaches into his pocket, pulling out the phone, but you push it back in his hand.

“No. I’m going to help your mom make pies today. You’re not coming back for a while though, are you?”

“Baby Doll, I have to take care of some business. Bring you back some clothes, so you don’t alternate between your clothes and Hayden’s that he left behind years ago,” you move closer, and rest your head on his chest.

He wraps his arms around you tightly, and you hear his laughter roll up out of his chest, “Don’t say it. Because I don’t want to fuck you. I just…when you see Bucky, tell him I’m sorry,” you look up at Curtis with tears in your eyes, repeating that you were sorry.

“Doll, it’s fine. Remember this is for you. You’re here as long as you need. And then you can tell Bucky.”

“I do love him. I just…”

“Shh, don’t worry about it right now. You go make your pies. I’ll be back with some clothes for you,” you give his arm a little tug, and he chuckles looking down at you. “What?”

“In Bucky’s closet at the clubhouse, there’s this stuffed bunny with floppy ears. Can you bring it?” he kisses the top of your head, and walks off to his bike, while you sit and watch him leave.

“Hey, sweetheart, these pies won’t make themselves.”

“Be right there, Tara,” you respond watching the taillights of Curtis’ truck move to the distance.  With a deep exhale, you walk into the kitchen, and have the mother daughter day you always wanted.

Ari looks out the window of his home when he hears a truck. Curtis Everett was not who was expecting. His fists pulsing as he watches the man walk up his porch. Ari slings the door open, and with a nod Curtis walks right in, plopping himself down on the couch.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“Taking care of your fuck ups,” Ari raises an eyebrow at him, and Curtis throws his hands up, “Came to get her things. She said they still should be in bags.”

“Where is she?” Curtis shakes his head no, standing up to walk towards Ari’s bedroom. “Where is she?” he stops when there’s a sleeping girl in Ari’s bed.

“Really?”

“She fucking left. And how many times have you fucked her? What about Bucky? I’m a mess. She doesn’t return phone calls. I wasn’t ever meant to take care of a kid, or have an old lady,” Curtis rolls his eyes walking past him to grab the garbage bags of your clothes.

“Curtis, I love that girl, but it’s like she’s the amazing girl one minute and a crazy psycho bitch the next.”

“It’s called depression, asshole. Is this all her stuff?”

“I was faithful to her, and that’s more than she can say. She’s not good.”

“No shit. She’s safe. She’s sobering up from biker cock. And I have her phone. Which is why she hasn’t responded to anything. I’m not gonna pretend to know your relationship, because I wasn’t involved. I’m not sleeping with her, I’m helping her. What I do know is she couldn’t stay here. She was reacting instead of living. Made you blind with rage, and that’s not you either. You’re both toxic for each other.”

“Is she coming back?” Curtis shrugs his shoulders. If it was up to him, you wouldn’t ever be back. “And she’s okay?” Curtis whispers out, yeah, as he gathers the bags to take to his truck with Ari following behind.

“I wanted her.”

“Wanted.  She’s not a possession.  She needed a father, Ari. You need someone more your age. It’s okay to walk away with the memories. Even you have to know she wasn’t right. She’s getting the help she needs, so be thankful for that. Don’t follow me either. Let her have this. And when she’s done, if she comes back, let her make her decision.”

“Meaning Bucky?” Curtis shrugs, slinging a bag into the back of his truck. “I love her,” Curtis leans up against the truck eyeing the man, “Despite what you believe, I do. I love her. I love her enough to let her go. She’s not right. Where she’s at, she’ll get help?” Ari bites at his lip, while his eyes look straight at Curtis, hoping that you’re going to get help.

Curtis slaps his hand against Ari’s shoulder, and nods. “Take care of your new one.”

“One night pussy. I don’t know if could do the living with someone bullshit. It’s not what I thought it was,” he sits on the porch steps and watches Curtis jump in the truck. “You tell her, I hope she does good, and I’m sorry?”

“Will do,” he gives a wave to Ari, knowing this next meeting isn’t going to be as pleasant. It was clear that Bucky had suffered as well, maybe not as deeply as you, but still felt the pain from the miscarriage, but more your mistreatment of his feelings.

Curtis walks into the clubhouse, after being at Bucky’s and discovering he wasn’t there, he can smell him. The stale scent of old marijuana and cheap beer, right to his room. Bucky sits at the end of his bed, taking a deep pull of his joint. “What did you do to her? She’s never refused my calls like this.”

Curtis tosses him your phone, and Bucky turns up his face glaring. “You’re punishing her?”

Scoffing, Curtis walks over to a chair, kicking his foot up on the bed beside Bucky, “I’m intervening.”

“What makes you the fucking expert. She just needed to get away from Ari.”

“She needed a way out of this place.  All of it, including you,” Bucky shakes his head, and pulls another hit. “Bucky, she was spiraling. She needed help. She was bouncing between you and Ari like a damn boomerang. You were in too deep and didn’t realize, she was numb, you just wanted to take whatever she gave you, and that was enough.”

“It was!”

“Not for her! I know you love her. Now love her enough to realize she needs this. She’s never been given the chance to be her. Her identity was this fucking club, and she never asked for this. It was enough for you, and that isn’t fair to you either,” Bucky mumbles out that he didn’t care, extending the roach over to Curtis.

“I love her. I want…all I’ve ever wanted was her and for her to be happy. Doll deserves that.”

“You see why she deserves this?” Bucky stares at the floor, not answering, except for a single bon of his head. “She said to tell you she’s sorry.”

“It was never her fault. I’ve never blamed her.”

“She loves you, but knows she isn’t enough for you now, but,” he lets that linger in the air a moment, not daring to finish that sentence. Scared to say too much, knowing that Bucky will cling to every word, and Curtis isn’t sure what your future plans are.

“She said there’s a stuffed bunny in your closet here,” Bucky looks up at Curtis oddly, and shakes his head. “Mind if I look?” pointing over to the closet, Curtis rummages around in the closet.

He pulls out a floppy rag doll gray bunny, and finally Bucky smiles. “That was the first thing I bought for Luna. Never really bought Doll anything but condoms, and half the time they didn’t get used. We were at this baby store, and her eyes lit up when she saw that thing. I figured she burned it along with the shack,” his eyes look up at Curtis accusingly.

“Wasn’t my idea. She said she needed to do that.”

“She didn’t burn everything,” Bucky sighs, reaching into his shirt, he pulls out his dog tags and hands them to Curtis. “Give these to her? I think about her everyday. Both of them.”

“Bucky,” Curtis whispers. “I don’t…”

“Just give ‘em to her. I don’t care what she does with them. Let her know I’m waiting on her. However long it takes. Now, leave me in my misery.”

“You gotta get out more.”

“You gotta suck my dick,” he stifles out a laugh. His hand rubs on the back of his neck thinking. “You won’t tell me where she’s at?”

“Nope. She’s not ready,” he reaches down to the bed, to grab your phone, and Bucky’s eyes linger on the rabbit.

“Why do you think she kept it? And here?”

“I don’t think you realize how much that made her go down a dark path. She deserves a better life than this club. This,” he holds the rabbit up for Bucky to see, “This was her way out.  Instead it brought her deeper in, and made her become a shell of what she used to be.  We just got glimmers of the old Doll.  You know that, too. Remember that,” Curtis turns to leave Bucky with his thoughts about better and happier times.

Not knowing if ever there will come a time that the two of you could be together, or if it was just always meant to be short, sweet, and so tragic, and Curtis doesn’t exactly know what the best option would be, for either of you.

“Who is she?” Howard asks his wife, after catching you asleep on the couch. His eyes constantly drift back into the living room trying to figure out if he knows you. “And what is all this?”

“She’s a friend of Curtis’, and we’ve been busy baking. It’s keeping her fingers busy.”

Howard glances back at your body, before jerking his head back to look at Tara, “Oh, god, he knocked some girl up? Are you kidding me? And she’s wearing Hayden’s clothes? I told you that club was no good.”

Tara slams her hand on the counter, scowling at her husband, “You watch your mouth. Even if Curtis got her pregnant, she would still stay here. But he didn’t, and they’re not even together. So help me God, Howard, if you do anything to make that girl uncomfortable, you can go back to the city and live with our son. She needs our help, and I’m giving that to her.”

“How does he know her?” Tara mumbles out something about the club, and Howard rolls his eyes, looking back at you. “She’s not Jessie.”

“No one said she was. You know why Curtis has this need to save young girls, so you let this go, and have some pie. It might loosen you up a bit. He’s bringing her some clothes. He may stay a bit longer, and you’re going to let him. She needs Curtis. He’s the only one that’s tried to help her.  The only man in her life that hasn’t used her. Now, do you want blueberry or cherry?”

Nervously you sit out on the front porch steps. Your eyes twitching around on the street in front of you. The early nightfall means the shortening of days, and your favorite time of year.

Bringing the sleeves of the borrowed Henley over your fingers, you press your hands to your face, and inhale the clean scent of whatever Tara used to clean clothes. No lingering smoke smell on it. You’d forgotten what that was like. Even your hair and body smelt fresher.

Hearing the door open, you turn your head to see Howard Everett walking outside for his one cigarette a day. He extends the box to you, but you politely decline, returning to looking for Curtis’ old truck to arrive.

“How do you know my son?”

“The MC,” your answer quietly.

“So…you’re a sweet bunny?”

You giggle, turning to look at him shaking your head. “I’m not a sweet butt or a bike bunny. My dad is…was the president.”

He takes a long drag of his cigarette reminding you so much of Curtis. A calm serenity spills over you, and you feel like divulging more. “My mom died when I was six. My brother Steve’s mom left. The, uh, the old ladies tried to raise me. It wasn’t the best upbringing.”

“Why?”

Leaning over, you rest your head on the handrail. Slow trails of tears roll down your cheeks, and to your surprise, Howard sits down beside you. “I was taught how to be an old lady. Serve your man. I, um, became a woman, and I was told how to be careful of who I slept with, because not all bikers want an old lady or kids. Single mothers don’t do well in the MC. Bikers don’t want to share their women. Even if they don’t want to be with them. I was twelve. Dad was too busy with his revolving door of women, he forgot about me.”

“What did you want to be?”

You shrug, it wasn’t something you thought too much about except for one thing, “A mother. I wanted to teach my daughter to live for herself instead of being what her man needed her to be.  I was always good with numbers, but, I don’t know how you make a career out of that.”

“This is a bit of a backtrack but what’s the difference between a sweet butt and a bike bunny?”

You actually laugh at him, wiping away your tears, “I don’t know. I just personally preferred the name bike bunny. I guess the bunnies don’t always sleep with the man. Sweet butts hang at the club, waiting for one, and that’s it.  Easy. Knowing she’ll never be the one he settles down with. Bunnies could eventually become the old lady.”

“What did you want?”

You look around at their all American home. The white picket fence, porch swing on the front porch, a big backyard with a crude treehouse that the kids had made. “This. I’d add a dog though.”

“I don’t do dogs.”

“No?” there was something about your smile. His wife had told him that you were broken, much like his Jessie was. “What do you have against dogs? Like, imagine there was this adorable and sweet golden retriever, or I don’t know, you look like a Brittany kinda man. You got the fence.”

“Jessie always wanted a dog,” you look at him realizing how much Jessie’s death still haunts him. “She wanted a Jack Russell terrier. The boys were more keen on a German Shepard.”

The two of you sit in silence when you see that truck start rolling down the road, and he stands to leave, “Mr. Everett, you have a good son.”

“I know.”

“I mean Curtis,” he nods his head at you, before walking into the house. Curtis sighs when the door closes. They could get along, as long as they didn’t talk. You scamper off to his truck, going to help him get your things out of the back.

Curtis jumps out, and in his hand is that gray bunny, but around its neck was Bucky’s dog tag. “I wish he didn’t do that.”

“Doll, he’s heartbroken, too. The difference is, he’s not ready to work. Are you?”

“Yeah,” you gulp, and he pulls you in tight to his chest. He might not have saved Jessie, but he would die trying to save you. “You’re dad isn’t so bad.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Do I have to move in with Steve?”

“No, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Remember that, Doll. Your life. Your choices. Now, didn’t you and Mom make pies?” you nod your hand on his chest, and he reaches around to grab a few bags. All that was left of your old life all thrown in garbage bags.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist:  @tis-thedamn-season​ @marveloustaylortot​ @pono-pura-vida​ @sstan-hoe​ @peaches1958​ @kaybaby2494 @flannellover67​ @infatuatedjanes​ @redbloodedgurl​ @thedarknessilove​ @whimsyplaty92​ @tryingtosurvivestuff​ @superforgottensoul​  

#keys in your ignition #curtis everett x reader #curtis everett #curtis everett x fem!reader #curtis everett x y/n #curtis everett x you #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x curtis everett #ari levinson #ari levinson x curtis everett #biker au #biker!ari levinson #biker!curtis everett #biker!bucky barnes

[itjazzbicch]

Figuring It Out

Pairing: Daniel Garcia x Fem Reader

Summary: While Handling some business in Japan, thinking everything in AEW will be okay without her, she doesn’t expect her love interest, Daniel Garcia to betray Bryan Danielson and when she returns, there’s lots to take in, especially with Daniel’s actions causing issues within BCC, but does she still give him a chance?

Warnings: Bit of Angst, some fluff, SMUT! (18+ ONLY!) (Oral F Receiving, Unprotected sex)

Word Count: 2.4k

Tag List: @demonqueen29 @peachy-satan00 @new-zealand-chic @crowleysqueenofhell @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @thatpanpal @damnnhausen @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @linzi-land @xxx-jazz-xxx @writtingrose @legit9thlunaticwarrior @seeingstarks @rubyred1980 @alexisquinnlee-bc

I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF:

For two weeks, I had to travel to Japan for a wrestling tournament and I thought it wasn’t going to be that big of a deal. What would two weeks hurt?

Blackpool Combat Club started having their issues whenever Daniel Garcia betrayed Bryan, had us all fooled and made us all believe that he was going to leave JAS and go under Bryan’s wing.

Why was this so crucial? Not only did this stir issues between Bryan and Yuta, but I was secretly talking to Daniel.

I was excited and surely thought that Daniel was going to join BCC, but he blindsided all of us.

Watching this happen while in Japan made me beyond nervous to come back, but of course, I did and my heart was racing the moment I stepped into the arena.

My main priority was to get to our locker room and spend the night back there, not stepping out unless I had no choice.

Moving around like a ninja, as quiet as I possibly could, someone was bound to find me:

“Hey babe, nice telling me that you were back from Japan.”

Daniel.

Things were just starting off with a bang, huh? There was no avoiding him and the conversation that we needed to have.

So, turning around with an attitude on my face, he knew exactly how I feel, laughing at me:

“I see why you haven’t been talking to me. You’re mad at me, huh?”

“You know what you did was messed up, Danny,” I huffed, trying not to get too emotional, “You know the faith and hope Bryan put into you and you just betrayed him like that?”

“Hey, he should’ve seen that coming, so that’s on him!” He protested, always acting so cool, but I gave him something to truly think about:

“Maybe so, but Bryan isn’t the only person you hurt. What you did has him fighting with Yuta, I can tell that Claudio is ready to flip dealing with it, and you hurt me too. I really thought that you were going to join sides with us because you’re not a ‘sports entertainer’, you’re a wrestler, a damn good one and we all know it.”

“Naw, I know why you’re so ‘hurt’,” Those words caught me off guard, staying silent to listen to his rebuttal, “You’re just scared you’re going to get kicked out of BCC or something because of us.”

My time with Daniel wasn’t wrestling related. When we were with each other, we were ourselves and I haven’t connected with anyone like I did with him.

I didn’t think it would be a big deal but after everything that happened? It would definitely be a big deal. Maybe that is what I feared.

I wanted Daniel, but I also wanted to continue to be in BCC. With everything going on, those options weren’t going to coexist with one another.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Y/N?” Daniel looked into my eyes and I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of being right, turning and getting the door:

“I’d leave before one of the guys show up if I were you.”

“Wow!” He scoffed, my actions showing a sting he felt, definitely expressed in his voice, “So that’s it, huh? You’re choosing them over me?”

As a final response, I just pointed to the BCC sign on the door as I stepped in, then slammed the door shut.

Thank goodness I was all alone in there for a while to cool down. When Bryan, Claudio, Yuta, Mox, and Regal all made their ways in, I put on a smile and caught up some.

That night, Claudio and Yuta were facing Chris Jericho and Daniel; As much as I didn’t want to, I went out to ringside just to make sure no cheating occurred.

The whole match, not lying in the slightest, it was a banger and I was watching all of the action.

But of course, JAS couldn’t avoid their cheating nature, Angelo Parker trying to grab Yuta’s feet.

I quickly went right over to him, flipping him around and before I could even say anything, he even gave me a little shove.

That made me smile and I shoved him right back, going to get back into each other’s faces, I jumped a little, not seeing Daniel’s feet coming from the ropes and right into Parker.

From a certain view, it looked like an accident, and Daniel tried making the facial expressions explain that to everyone else, but when our eyes met?

He did that on purpose. We both knew it, but I stayed quiet and let Yuta do his thing, that small bit gave him the advantage and shortly after, Claudio was pinning Jericho for the win.

This was beginning to weigh heavy on my shoulders and I really hope nobody noticed, but while leaving the ring, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him.

I didn’t want to do what I did earlier, but I was a strategist; I liked having game plans with an end result. Things with Daniel? I had no clue how it would end and that’s what was making it all confusing.

And staring into his eyes? He didn’t want things to just end, he didn’t need to speak for me to know how he felt.

“Y/N, Y/N!”

I was so out of it that I didn’t notice Yuta talking to me when we got to the guerrilla.

“You okay, Y/N? I know that Angelo didn’t shove you that hard, right?” Claudio chuckled, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“I’m fine,” I smiled, playing it off and laughing, “It takes a lot more than a little shove to throw me off. You guys did great out there.”

Going down the stairs, Bryan was waiting and oh boy, this wasn’t going to be good.

Yuta went straight up to Bryan, looking like he was going to start a fight and I was so grateful for Claudio breaking them up.

All of these internal issues because of Daniel. I just couldn’t and didn’t want to believe it.

For the rest of the show, we got Yuta to calm down, distracted one another with humor and all, which was nice, but when I was all alone again in my hotel, that’s when I started drowning in my thoughts again.

Fresh out of the shower in my robe, I was brushing my hair back, staring at nothing in the mirror, slightly startled when I heard quick knocks at my door.

That knocking seemed like someone was in an emergency. The first person that popped into my head was maybe Yuta or Bryan, but I opened the door to find Daniel.

It was clear that he had been thinking, having an attitude too, rambling right off:

“Look, we have to figure this shit out. And you won’t slam the door on me again. I’m serious.”

“I won’t,” I said softly, taking a deep breath, “You’re right. We do have to figure this out. Can you just try to see things from my shoes?”

“I get it. Dating me while in the BCC after everything? I’m sure they’d try to kill the both of us, but-“ He was finally trying to relate for a change, but considering he didn’t finish his sentence made me nervous:

“But what, Daniel?”

Staring deeply and creating a gaze between us, for a change, he made a very good point:

“You and me, what we got going on? It’s not a sports entertainers versus pro wrestlers deal. It just you and me. That’s it. No wrestling involved.”

I wanted to say that, that was easier said than done consider wrestling was literally our entire lives, but that’s exactly how I wanted things to be. So I stayed silent, thinking deeply when he huffed:

“That’s how I feel. So, if you want to be with me, we can figure things out or you can just slam the door on me, again.”

Geez, he was surely upset that I did that earlier, but he didn’t have to worry, getting him off guard this time when I grabbed his shirt:

“Just come here, Danny.”

Pulling him inside and the door shutting on its own, I got something I’d been longing for when I kissed him, feeling his arms wrap tight around my waist like he always did so naturally.

Any time I kissed him, it felt so right and this time was no different, done with the arguing and smiling softly:

“You’re spending the night with me, just so you know. Hope you’re not in trouble with your boys, by the way.”

“Why would I be in trouble with them?” He picked his head up to think, then looked away when he remembered, trying not to smile as I giggled:

“I appreciate that you did that for me. Don’t look so shameful about it.”

“I’ll trash anyone who touches you,” When our gaze reconnected, he was dead serious and I admired that, kissing again while untying my robe:

“And I’ll never doubt that. I know it’s been a few weeks and I’ve been a bit of grinch so-“

His eyes dropped along with my robe to the floor, licking and biting his lower lip, loving my next words:

“Since you’re staying the night, how about we make this all right again, hm?”

“Oh baby,” He chuckled, feeling how his hands gripped my thighs, the lust in his eyes, “You know that I was getting some of all this.”

At first I was giggling at how quickly he picked me up and took me over to the bed, tossing off his shirt once I was on my back, but the second his knees dropped and his head dove between my legs, I was breathless.

“D-Danny-“ I know it had been a few weeks, but not even a minute and he was devouring me like it was his last meal.

And when his tongue started flicking at my clit super fast, my body was trying to roll, unable to stay still with the hard shakes in my legs.

“I can’t make you cum if you keep moving like that,” He knew what he was doing, hooking my thighs and applying pressure to keep my hips pinned down, having my back arch with my growing moans.

“I’m so close, Danny!” Propping up on my elbows, there were tears in my eyes, feeling how his tongue was fucking me, having my walls spasming, hitting every right spot in a fluid series, falling to my back seconds later with my thighs squeezing his head, a handful of hair, crying out with moans while my slick drenched his mouth and chin.

I seemed to forgot how intense he made my orgasms, chest feeling heavy from finally being able to breath, spot in my vision when I finally opened my eyes, but still fixed on him, noticing how he was kicking his pants off.

He remembered how sensitive I was after something like that, leaving kisses at my inner things that made me shake hard with a moan, up my stomach, finding my breast and latching to my nipple, nibbling slightly before sucking harder.

At the same time, I felt his thumb circle my oversensitive clit, two fingers pushing into me softly and it felt so much, having me bite my lips and whimper out softly:

“Don’t be teasing me now, baby.”

He just snickered while leaving bites across my chest, pumping his fingers once more before positioning himself between my legs, having me whine at his cock slapping my clit, then running through my folds.

“What? You been missing this?” He loved to tease me, kissing at my neck while teasing my entrance, asking after I moaned instead of answering him, “You gonna answer me?”

“You know I’ve missed it. Just give it to me, please,” I wasn’t the type to beg, so I hoped that proved how serious I was.

“You’re gonna get it, baby,” His whisper was deep and gave me a feeling that I was in for it, but only focused on the tight friction along with his cock stretching me.

“Damn, Danny-“ Hooking my arms under his, my head snapped back and don’t know if I forgot how good he felt inside of me, but it was even better than our first time, just a few soft thrusts getting some noise out of me.

“I know you’re tight baby, but damn,” He chuckled softly, groaning with a thrust before lifting my right leg higher, “I’ll give you a reason to be louder.”

“You think I’m being dramatic or something-“ Just like how I thought, I was in for it, gasping hard at the strength behind his thrust, feeling his tip meet my cervix.

“Shh,” Holding the side of my face, giving a sloppy kiss given his hard, quickening thrusts, he bit my lip while growling, “I just wanna hear you screaming for me.”

“Daniel!” If I wasn’t calling him Danny, that meant I was serious, feeling how deep his thrusts were pushing me down, the constant smacks at my sweet spots surely getting me to scream out at times, quickly being driven to my next orgasm.

Positioning my left leg up higher too let his hips roll faster, rocking our bodies up to hit at different angles, his chest heaving with groans and pants, but he made sure to lock eyes with me, saying:

“I know with how you’re squeezing me. Cum, baby.”

“I’m about to-; I am, Daniel!” My nails were digging into the back of his shoulders, not able to breath and feeling a slight tear fall from the corner of my eye, finally catching my breath when I gushed around his cock, gasping out his name as he kept going till his cock was throbbing.

Going to pull back, I held on tighter and with one swift smack of his hips, he was buried deep, letting my legs fall with his head on my chest while were both panting and trying to breathe again.

“I’ve missed this,” I whispered softly while running my hand through his hair, smiling when he looked up at me and he couldn’t help but smile either.

“Trust me, baby,” He picked himself up to kiss me, holding with a promise, “We got this.”

#wrestling #wrestling imagine #wrestling fic #wrestling smut #Aew #Aew imagine #Aew fic #Aew smut #Daniel garcia #Daniel garcia x reader #Daniel garcia imagine #Daniel garcia fic #Daniel garcia smut #read and enjoy

[adoreinbloom]

thank you @sun-lt and @dahliaaz for tagging me in this!

here are my top albums of 2022!✨ (some of them were released in 2022, and some weren’t but i discovered them in 2022, so i hope that still counts!)

i tag @pop-punklouis, @sweetest-devotion , @itslottiehere, @dragmedown, @becauseheartsgetbroken-hs, @allmylouv and anyone else who wants to do it! (no obligations! ✨❣️)

harry’s house - harry styles

the album that was the soundtrack to my summer. from going from listening every single day to hearing my favourites from the album live in a few months felt incredible. I haven’t stopped listening since it’s been released. i’ve had it blaring from the speakers any chance i can get at home, and i always go to listen to it as soon as i open spotify. i didn’t know what to expect when we had as it was as the only single leading up to it, but it exceeded all my expectations! it felt like he had the most fun with this album, and he wanted us to have as much fun as he did with it and i can’t not be in a good mood when listening to every song. he amazes me every single time with his work, and i think it will always be constantly on my ‘on repeat’ spotify playlist.

faith in the future - louis tomlinson

the best album to close my year off with! i was really curious to see what the entire album would sound like considering he kept saying this was the music he always wanted to make, and i wanted to see what he has always been working towards. if this is the music he’s always wanted to make, then i am fully on board and will continue to fall in love with his work. it was a mix of songs that each told their own story, and made you relate moments of your own life to the memories he’s singing about. i can’t wait to see this live.

the car - arctic monkeys

i wasn’t a huge fan of arctic monkeys’ last release, so i wasn’t too excited about the car but i decided to pre order the vinyl anyway just to go out on a whim! i think it’s definitely one of my favourite AM albums, and i kind of wish i’d bought tickets for their next tour since listening to it a few times.

doomsday - lizzy mcalphine

my third most played artist on my spotify wrapped behind harry and louis. i fell in love with give me a minute during lockdown, so i was excited to see what else she was releasing! it did take me a while after the album was released to actually listen to it, but every song i love. i have it as my ‘wfh concentration album’ and it’s very mellow and just perfect. her voice is incredible, and i wish she was touring more local to me i’d love to see her!

stick season - noah katan

very late to the game with this one but i fell in love with it from the get go! i feel very calm and chill when i’m listening to this album, and like i just need to listen to it when i’m sitting on a bench somewhere and looking at the world pass me by. it makes you think a lot about your own memories when listening, and i had goosebumps listening to a few! it kind of reminds me a bit of mumford and sons, and i love them a lot.

take time - giveon

this is a 2020 album so i’m very very late to this one! i saw the performance he did of heartbreak anniversary at wireless festival this year and fell in love with it, so i immediately had to see what else he’d released. a lot of his songs have been good to listen to when i was writing (or trying to write) and the storytelling of his music kind of inspired a few stories of mine.

(i would have followed you) - delaney bailey

the best album to listen to when i just need to cry. the most angelic voice i’ve ever heard, and a bad album to listen to when it’s like 3am and you are overthinking everything that’s ever happened in your life. my heart broke 100 times over with every song and i loved every second of it.

emails i can’t send - sabrina carpenter

i haven’t listened to sabrina since 2018 when she released singular act one, so i was going into this with a four year break almost. i really really liked it! it feels like the kind of album you’d listen to when you were on a late night drive with your friends just blaring out the songs. that was the energy i got from it and you always ALWAYS need an album like that in your life.

the otherside - cam

for some reason, i’ve only listened to changes that harry wrote since 2020, but never the entire album that came along with it! i’m secretly a fan of country (not all country but a fair bit i like!) and this just felt like the right amount for me to enjoy! she reminds me a bit of old dolly parton (especially with the song diane) and i feel like my grandad would have really really loved her, and that is always a winner for me.

#tagged #tag games #i haven’t done a tag game in forever!! #did take me a while to figure out exactly what was in my top 9 #and i added a little commentary under the edit if you wanna read! (it’s just me rambling if i’m honest!)

[lilredghost]

babyyyy!!! im so sorry i am late, college started so i had to shift to the hostels and its so hectic but also so fun here(its so much like the colleges u see in movies like soty i didnt expect this college to be like that im so glad im here) and there was some issue with the wifi in my room so no ao3 for 3 weeks </3

i am in in LOVE with all the times obikin kiss, its so so soft and sweet, obi's trusting anakin with himself its so cute!!!!!!!

also CINNAMON OH MY GOD IT TASTES SO GOOD I CANT BELIEVE U MADE ANAKIN TASTE LIKE IT I LOVE U

(As much as he loves the scruffing, it’s not exactly conducive to Obi-Wan having a discussion.)

(Or thinking at all, really.)

oh my god me too pls i cant think after reading this u will be the sole reason im not studying before my math quiz

His hope is to extend that feeling to other parts of his life, someday, but for now Obi-Wan will stick to brushing and braiding his husband’s hair with all the care he can muster.

oh he is so oblivious oh god oh please tell me they both know the other person loves them before they separate pls

(And this, Obi-Wan has done before.)

(He is, perhaps, an expert in doing things quietly.)

sjdvhvjkdv pls pls red stop killing me im dying over here

(Anakin would deserve it too, is the thing. He'd deserve whatever he asked for.)

baby pls send him to therapy pls i love him but he is unwell™

But the day has been long and fraught, and he would like to believe that he can be happy too.

maybe anakin is the therapy, mandatory sessions for the both of them??? i'll tie them up back to back in a room until they talk

in public interest i would like you to know that u have officially ruined my plans for studying today as this fic will be bouncing around in my head on a pogo stick. i want to distill this fic and use it as an iv

Baby!! I'm glad you're having fun at college and not, like, a giant crisis 🙌 but no ao3 for 3 weeks sounds like hell 😭😭 My sister's wedding was just this last week (and you know big Indian weddings-- I'm exhausted) AND I resume college next week so it's pretty chaotic over here too.

So happy you liked this chapter 🥰🥰 I wanted to get through my whole outline of events instead of cutting the chapter in half (but also it took so long that maybe I should have cut it, lol). Obikin kissed so much that I'm amazed they got anything else done honestly!!

Obi-Wan is sooo brave for taking these leaps of faith, I love him so much. He makes a resolution in the next chapter (though it will be a bit hard for him to act on):

The most important thing is this: Anakin still doesn’t know what he is. The second is this: He cannot be allowed to find out, or Obi-Wan will lose him. Anakin may have married him for reasons Obi-Wan will never know, but being an alpha is surely a nonnegotiable part of that. Unless… Unless Anakin loved him. If Anakin, perhaps, were in love with him, the way Obi-Wan is in love with Anakin, then perhaps he could tell the truth. Perhaps he could be held and kissed and accepted in his entirety, as though he weren’t a failure of an alpha, a failure of an omega—

Baby hasn't even figured out that Anakin is already in love with him, or that Anakin doesn't give a shit that he's not an alpha. It's just so hard for him to detach his designation from his sense of self worth 🥺😔

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And yes I made Anakin taste like cinnamon!! I only decided that an omega's slick tastes (mostly) the way their arousal smells like halfway through, so I'm SO GLAD that I gave him a good scent and not like. Something weird, idk. Some things smell good but I do not want them in my mouth. Also I'm not sure if you remember this post but it sure does lend a whole extra layer of meaning to it 😂

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The scruffing I'm so absolutely obsessed with and idk why! Obi-Wan's emotions have been so out of control in these last few chapters, and it's such a sweet way for Anakin to lend him comfort, while also being hot as fuck in the right circumstances. I need him to pavlov Obi-Wan into getting horny when he scruffs him.

(Also please study for your math quiz baby, the sex will be there to reread when you finish 🙌)

-

Isn't he so fucking stupid?!! Anakin will tell him he loves him but I'm not sure yet how much he'll believe it (the outline gets pretty loose post-Tatooine rn).

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(And this, Obi-Wan has done before.) (He is, perhaps, an expert in doing things quietly.)

OK this was literally like one of my favourite lines in this whole chapter ❤️❤️ It's so indicative of Obi-Wan's character and also the absolute root of their relationship problems. Obi-Wan is holding himself back from telling the truth, from telling Anakin he loves him, from biting him, all while Anakin is doing the same, because neither of them wants to scare the other away. (It also just hasn't occurred to Anakin that he hasn't said he loves Obi-Wan yet. He's so focused on holding himself back physically that he forgets about the words.)

-

Obi-Wan needs therapy soooo badly, poor thing. I love him but he is definitely unwell™. I don't want to say he's blowing things out of proportion (these feelings are obviously real and he's struggling with them a lot), but they are absolutely a byproduct of the way he keeps spiralling. He'll be feeling sky high one minute and then he'll crash to the ground again in the next. Some of this is his depression but also his hormones are out of wack because his supressants are failing!! 😬

I've been trying not to fall into that rut of "romantic partner cures depression magically" by having Obi-Wan slowly, like, rebuild his support system (Feemor and his friends), find an identity outside of being an alpha and being emperor (like that same thing from earlier about detaching his sense of self-worth from his designation and his job), indulging/discovering hobbies and interests (anthropology, embroidery, time with his friends), and showing vulnerability to others (Anakin is a big one here, but Karishma was an important milestone too).

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On one hand I understand it's imporant to study but on the other hand !!! This fic also bounces around my head on a pogo stick 🤭🤭 I always love to see which things you noticed and which things you liked because it gives me so much motivation to keep writing, thank you!!! 🤗💕💕

#I think it took lots of people time to get around to reading this chapter because of all the fics from the subanakin fest tbh #it's left me sooo behind on reading fics lol #obikin #emperor obi-wan au #squick: a/b/o #also I tried breaking up the reply with dashes but I'm not sure how well it worked. it kind of feels more chaotic to me now #imjusttoofunky #asks #also did you just start your first year of college or did you like move or something?? 👀 sounds like a really cool place to be!

[childofchrist1983]

And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine? There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger. And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole. - Luke 17:17-19 KJV

Leprosy was a terrible disease in ancient days. There was no cure and anyone who had been diagnosed with leprosy was an outcast and had to stay away from any populated place and call out "unclean, unclean" when people came near.

The ten lepers approached Jesus Christ in hopes that He would heal them, and He did. Why is it that only the Samaritan returned to give thanks? I've given this some thought over the years and the only answer I could come up with is that he didn't take Jesus' healing for granted. After all, he was an outsider, and worse, he was hated by the Jews and had no reason to expect that Jesus, a Jew, would take pity on him. The other nine, presumably, were Jewish. Did they take for granted that Jesus would heal His own? It made me think about what I take for granted.

I was born into a stable family that loved me, provided for me and gave me a good education. We weren't well off by any standard, but we had what we needed. I was grateful and realized that God had been very good to me, but I never really understood how much I took for granted. I feel like one of the nine who didn't return and try each day to remember to say "Thank you!" for all the blessing God has given me, as well as for always being a part of my life and always being near.

May we never take all God’s blessings for granted. May we be a good steward of the Earth and work to help those who have so much less than the rest of us. May we make sure that we give our hearts and lives to God and take time daily to seek and praise Him and share His Truth with the world. May the LORD our God and Father in Heaven help us to stay diligent and obedient and help us to guard our hearts in Him and His Word daily. May He help us to remain faithful and full of excitement to do our duty to Him and for His glorious return and our reunion in Heaven as well as all that awaits us there. May we never forget to thank the LORD our God and our Creator and Father in Heaven for all this and everything He does and has done for us! May we never forget who He is, nor forget who we are in Christ and that God is always with us! What a mighty God we serve! What a Savior this is! What a wonderful Lord, God, Savior and King we have in Jesus Christ! What a loving Father we have found in the Almighty God! What a wonderful God we serve! His will be done!

Thanks and glory be to God! Blessed be the name of the LORD! Hallelujah and Amen!

[moonlatias]

Beloved Morningstar

Radiant God, who I, as of late, have also called Lucifer…

Your story, your reputation, your myths mean different things to different people. When I was still Christian, it was meant as a warning, a threat, as to what happens if I disobey. If I don’t accept everything I am told without question, if I try to seek out knowledge forbidden to me.

But I never thought much of the Devil, or demons. To me, Satan wasn’t the one causing people to do evil things. Humans do that on their own. The myth of Satan just gives people a convenient scapegoat to push their wrongdoing on, to avoid taking responsibility for the harms they inflict on others. And even early on, I knew of the sympathetic “fallen angel” story of Lucifer.

But I have since pulled away from that faith, for I have found a spiritual path that resonates with me and fulfills me far greater than the old one. I found comfort, love, and guidance in the God and Goddess, and I have been happy. I thought I had successfully rid myself of most of the old Christian doctrines, though I wasn’t foolish enough to think that I would cast off everything. It still was a big part of my life, and it still shaped me as a person. I don’t hate the good things it has taught me.

But I never expected to be called… by you.

You weren’t supposed to be a good thing. My old faith equated you with the Devil. But you somehow appeared, gave me light and courage where I had none. Maybe you were always there, and you were just waiting for an opportunity to show yourself when I was ready to receive your guidance.

You showed me a vision that would guide me best. A gnosis meant for me alone, that would help me understand you and be able to adapt you into my beliefs and practice thus far. You are another aspect of the God, representing rebellion, justice, power, truth. The church twisted your beautiful visage into that of a demon, and has used you as a tool of fear ever since. The magnificent ancient gods and goddesses were maligned and identified as you, the scapegoat of the selfish and close-minded.

Radiant Lucifer, Beloved Morningstar, he who heralds the Lady of the Moon and brings the light of dawn… you have taught me the value of my personal strength, of knowledge, and of fighting for what I love. You have taught me courage to rebel against those who oppress me or try to control me, even if the fight is painful. You hold me close when I feel broken, and your light shines as a constant reminder of hope. You inspire me because I know you have felt my pain and sadness, my defiance and my fury. Negative feelings are natural, not a sin. And you encourage me through it all, instead of condemning and abandoning me.

You are light itself. And I revere and love you.

Blessed be the Radiant God, forever faithful to the Goddess and her children. Blessed be the Morningstar who fell so that he could guide us back to where we all belong. Blessed be Lucifer, who does not mind the shadows and the ignorance of those who cannot see his light. We all return to the Divine in the end.

“Better to reign in Hell, then to serve in Heaven.”

#wicca #eclectic wicca #luciferianism #theistic luciferianism #paganism #book of shadows #sacred texts #god #deity worship #upg

[lizziethebibrid]

60. Is it greedy of me to say I never want you to leave my arms?

for methan pretty please!!!

ao3 link here

MG was an optimist. He’d been going through life trying to find the positive in the world, find the good in people around him even when they didn’t give him any reason to. He wasn’t always given the same courtesy, although that was probably because of the whole 'humans are afraid of vampires and MG doesn’t really do well with human blood right from the source' thing.

Still though, he tried to be optimistic. He’d been trying more and more ever since he’d gotten to the Salvatore school and the world seemed to be giving them more and more reasons to make them lose faith in the universe, but so far they were doing pretty well for themselves.

And then gods had become a thing. And that was harder and MG wanted nothing to do with them if he was being honest, but the burden once again fell on them, especially with Hope gone for the time being. Eventually they'd decided to fight because that was what they did and if they were the last line of defense that could protect the world from gods above everything else, then they would do everything they could. And MG was ready to go up against them. He knew they didn’t have the upper hand, everything could go very wrong very fast, but everyone who’d decided to stay back, had done so on their own accord.

He still couldn’t deny that he’d hoped more of them would actually leave. He loved his friends and he knew not everyone was going to make it out alive and well if they went against the most powerful beings in existence. But they’d chosen to stay just like he had and he had to respect their choices and-

Ethan stirred next to him on the bed. 

It was getting harder and harder when they couldn’t get a win through everything and gods weren’t even his first priority.

“Is it greedy of me to say I never want you to leave my arms?” he murmured mostly to himself, not really expecting an answer.

“Kind of, we have things to do,” Ethan mumbled, starting to wake up properly and turning around to face MG.

“Is there nothing I can say to change your mind?” MG asked. He knew the answer to that, but he still had to try. It was ultimately going to be Ethan’s choice in the end, but MG would never forgive himself if he didn’t do everything in his power first to change his mind.

“Everyone else is going ahead with the plan,” Ethan said.

“Not everyone else has a limited power usage,” MG retorted.

“I think you might be overreacting about that,” Ethan tried to be casual even though they both knew their concerns were justified.

“I saw the Pukwudgie die, E,” MG said, trying not to let the despair seep in his voice. “And your blood practically explode. I can put two and two together and so can you.”

“Okay, that wasn’t great, I’ll admit, but it still doesn’t mean next time is gonna be the last. And we kind of need all hands on deck for this one,” Ethan said.

“We also don’t know it won’t be the last time. You don’t have to risk it,” MG insisted. “You shouldn’t.”

Ethan sighed, although it still didn’t feel like he was willing to accept MG’s plea. “You don’t want me to get hurt,” he stated.

“Of course I don’t.”

“Well, I don’t want you to get hurt either,” he said. “I can’t just stay back while you all go into battle and wait for whatever happens. Even if I can’t use my powers as much as I’d like, I’m still going to help. And if I feel like I can’t take it, I’m gonna pull back. But I’ll be fine.”

“You know, this is usually what people say in movies and then go and do something stupid anyway and sacrifice themselves in the end,” MG said.

Ethan actually smiled at that. “I’m not going to die, if that’s any consolation,” he said. “And this is not a goodbye speech. I am actually optimistic.”

“Yeah, me too, but the universe isn’t giving me much reason to be anymore,” MG sighed.

“Yeah, the timing isn't ideal, I’ll admit… But we’re fine right now. And I don’t think we should spend our time together worrying about something maybe going wrong in the future.”

“Not even when that future is coming closer by the second?” MG asked.

“Especially not then,” Ethan said, relaxing back against his pillow. “Let’s just… be for a while.”

“Easier said than done…”

“You said you wanted to hold me here, right?” Ethan said, curling back further into MG. “I’m giving you the go ahead.”

MG couldn’t help but smile slightly despite everything. “I thought we had things to do?”

Ethan made a little noise as he shrugged against him. “That’s fine. They can wait.”

#legacies #methan #mg #milton greasley #ethan machado #new fic #thank you🥰

[jesusagrees]

i agree i love the girls (le sserafim) and i don’t blame them, kpop is a machine with a lot of gears behind it. Certain labels have certain standards and i don’t think hybe (source music) is training them properly for live performances and giving them songs that flatter their voices. I can’t in good faith ignore there subpar vocals but i also can’t bully them over it. I will say they weren’t ready for coachella and alot of kpop fans are tone deaf to their favs and come up with excuses. They don’t have to be beyonce but they train hard for years for what? I was expecting more :/. And it’s okay to expect more as a fan. Then again i come from gen 2-3 of kpop where vocals were very important and these days visuals are more important . I personally don’t like this change but if they’re still selling records and selling out shows there isn’t much to be done. I prefer more vocally talented groups although i do love Le sserafim music their bad vocals stop me from being a full on stan. I like the girls individually as people but ahh the singing piece is hard. They don’t sound conditioned to sing live at all, i wonder what type of training and practicing they’ve been doing all this time. And the excuse of singing and dancing is hard doesn’t cut it. No one is expecting a live performance to sound like the recorded song but there’s a level of quality that should still be there. Look at jungkook, look at aespa, or txt. Do they not have hard songs and/or dances? Why do they sound so good live? Cause they train to sound good live, they train to do long high energy performances. It’s quite literally their lives work, they spent years doing so. So i’m sorry but le sserafim doesn’t get to have any slack in that area (or their management). They don’t deserve excessive hate but their mediocrity at the time they are in their career is ridiculous. Chaewon can only carry so much, i feel like everything is put on her back to make the group sound good. The rest are jus visuals. Not even Yunjin sounds good. How does she go from having an opera back ground to being an off key out of breath mess. She literally grew backwards i’m so confused.

Oh, I totally agree with this.

It's literally their JOBS to sing and dance and they CANNOT do it. They can dance/perform fine, but dancing and performing does NOT equal GOOD SINGING. You can be a good performer but a terrible singer.

And as an old gen 2-3 stan too, coming from that background and to what kpop is today is why I have such a hard time getting into new groups. These groups just do not cut it for me and a lot of their personality does not make up for lack of talent to me. I am a full blown SHAWOL. I stan one of the best in the industry and I KNOW the standards.

LESSERAFIM need to be benched for a Year AT LEAST and get the proper training and whole new team while they're at it. They need to come back when they're ready.

And their fans are just as embarrassing. This whole thing was blown WAY UP because of their hardcore fans. Their fans made the situation WAY worse for these girls. Instead of taking the L quietly, as they SHOULD have done, they brought other groups into it pissing off other fandoms hence why it got blown up so big.

This is going to stay with these girls FOREVER if they do not get proper training. They are being set up for FAILURE.

And I will say, I am SO glad ATEEZ was there to show what REAL/TRUE kpop is. LESSERAFIM was such a bad example of kpop and it's really embarrassing on the industry. I hope companies use this as an example and take this and LEARN from it. Stop rushing out untalented, untrained idols who just give face. Bring back the REAL idols.

#kpop #hybe #le sserafim #topics

[cherryeol04]

Action! | Ch. 6

Genre: Humor, Romance, Slice of life?, Crackheadedness

Pairings: BaekRen, MinRon

Work Count: 1.4K

Summary:  From the moment he was casted, Ren wasn't sure if he had what it would take to be a pop idol. Losing faith in himself, he was going to give up the future he had always wanted, but one person stood by his side and renewed his faith. After a hot debut and rapid growth of stardom, Ren started to notice that maybe this person, his close friend, was something more. But how could a straight man even remotely think of a homosexual relationship?

Warnings: Homophobia, some smut (chapters will be marked)

A/N: I wrote this series back in 2012 and used OCs and over the top writing style for arguments. Whoops. Lmao it’s pretty decent though, so I hope you enjoy!

↶Previous Next↷

Ren’s POV

Sighing, I stepped from the dressing room once more. Turning, I showed off the pants I put on to Minhyun. The other looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head. I couldn’t help the small growl that left my lips.

“This is the fifth pair you’ve turned down. Why don’t you like them?” I asked.

“Do you like them?” he countered.

“Well duh. Why would I try them on if I didn’t?” I asked.

“Then get them.” I smacked my forehead. This boy…if it weren’t for the fact he was a close friend of mine, I probably would have strangled him. He was so confusing! Lowering my hand, I looked back at him and frowned. The other was looking away, like he was distracted by something.

“Minhyun.” I called, stepping closer to the chair he was sitting in. “Are you alright?”

His head snapped back and he looked back at him in surprise. “What? Oh yeah, I’m fine.”

“Really? You look a bit…distracted.” I said. Moving to the empty chair, I sat down. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing Minki.”  He said and waved his hand.

“Ren! “ I corrected. Good lord how many times am I going to have to correct these people. It’s Ren. My name is Ren. If I go back to Minki... I don’t think my self-esteem could take being Minki again.

“Sorry!” he said and sighed. “Ren. It’s really nothing.” I wasn’t convinced and I don’t think he was either. In fact, I think he was saying that more to convince himself than to convince me.

“Naw, come on, you can tell me.” I said and leaned over, smiling cutely at him. “I’m your friend!”  Minhyun stared at me, a bit taken aback. I could see him struggling. He wanted to tell me everything, and that’s what I wanted him to do. It was very hard to resist the power of the maknae; I was going to get him to confess no matter what it took!

“Fine.” He finally gave in after a few moments of staring at me. He glanced around for a moment, making sure we were alone before leaning in. “Ren, what’s your position on…liking the same sex?” he asked.

I sat back a bit then. That was not a question I had ever been asked before and not one I was expecting. How could he just ask something like that before mentally preparing me first? What was I supposed to say? ‘The truth, duh!’  Sighing, I took a moment to think on the question. What was my position. Well I knew I wasn’t gay, that was for sure. I had a girlfriend before and a few crushes. But that doesn’t mean I’m against such a thing. Not entirely.

“To be honest, I think it’s wrong.”  Minhyun’s face fell and I knew I just hurt the other, so I tried to correct the situation. “But I’m not against it.” I said hurriedly. Reaching out, I touched his arm. “Obviously I’m not against it. I like doing skinship between us friends. It’s fun, and fans like it.” I said. “But…well I know I’m not like that.” I told him. “So…” I trailed off and sighed.

“I’m sorry for asking.” Minhyun said as he pulled away and looked away from me.

“No! No, it’s okay.” I said. “It’s just; it was a shocking question you know? And I’m not…gay.” I said, the word coming out harsher than I meant it to. “So I mean, I don’t think I really have a right to say what I think about it. People are who they are, they can’t help that. I’m not against that choice they have; it’s just not something I would partake in.” I tried to explain. He looked back at me uncertainly before giving a small nod.

“I’m sorry still.”

“Don’t be. And don’t think this changes anything between us.”

“Why would it?” Minhyun asked, raising a brow.

“Well you did ask that question for a reason right? You wanted to know how I would react before actually coming out to me right?” I asked. That’s what I assumed, was I wrong? Did he just want to know my position in comparison to his? Did I totally miss the mark on his conversation? Wouldn’t be the first time.

“Ah, well yeah.” He said and laughed nervously. “I guess I am coming out to you. But…I didn’t know who else to turn to. I need help.” He said as he faced me once more, taking my hands. My cheeks flushed then.

‘Please don’t confess, please don’t confess.’

“I don’t know how much help I’ll be in this situation.” I told him, my voice surprisingly calm, despite my racing heart.

“I know, but I just need some sort of advice. It’s…It’s…” he trailed off, taking in a deep breath. “It’s JR-hyung.” He said. “I like him so much and I don’t know what to do, or if he even swings my way.”

I felt a huge rush of relief wash over me. God I don’t know what I would have done if Minhyun went to confess to me. I would break his heart surely. “Swing your way?” I asked and laughed. That was a funny way to put it.

“Well, I suppose that is a bit of a problem.” I said. I glanced around then, searching. Our leader was somewhere in the store and I wasn’t sure where. The other had a tendency to pop up at the most inappropriate times. Seeing him nowhere in sight, I looked back at Minhyun. “Why not ask him?” he asked.

“What if he’s not gay? What if he reacts like you, only worse? You’re so open and understanding Minki.” He said.

“Ren.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He said. “But you are. So kind and carrying. You’re accepting me for who I am and you’re not thinking badly of me…are you?”

“No! Of course not. I never even thought you could be gay. We’ve been friends for over a year now and I never once suspected. You’re my friend because I like you, this isn’t going to change that. I already told you that.” I assured him.

“Ok. Good.” Minhyun said and smiled sweetly at him. “Still, what if he’s like, super homophobic? I don’t think I could handle it if he rejected me, or worse yet, left the group because of it….or even forced me from the group because of it.”

“He’s not going to force you from the group. If you go, I go. And if I go, I’m taking Baekho with me.” I said and grinned, laughing. We both knew how close Baekho and I were. We were as close as I was to Minhyun. With one simple request, Baekho would leave with me and Aron would probably follow, though he may stay with JR. I’m not very sure about Aron-hyung.

“You would?”

“Of course. Friends stick together.” I said. “But really, you should try and find out. Do like you did with me just now. Ask his opinion on the matter.” I said. “That way, you can get a feel for his position without telling him your secret and if he does ask, tell him you saw something on TV about it or something.” I said.

“I never thought of that.” Minhyun said and shook his head. “I’m so stupid sometimes.”  I laughed, but refrained from agreeing. “Thanks Minki…I knew you would give me the best advice.” He said as he leaned over and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around his torso, returning the hug.

“Ren!” I corrected it once more.

“Oh for god sakes.” He said as he pulled back and stuck his tongue out at me. I laughed and stood.

“Alright, so what do you think of this pair?” I asked, and turned again.

“I like those. Get those.”

“Finally! An answer!” I cheered and he laughed, throwing the pillow cushion on the chair at me. I laughed as I retreated back into the changing room to change back into my clothes. I was still worried though. I could tell Minhyun really liked JR. I think it was more of a ‘crush’ like, but it was a strong ‘crush’ like. I hope he didn’t get hurt, but I’m pretty sure he will. I don’t think JR is like that. But Minhyun needs to know. The sooner he does, the sooner he could mourn, get over him and move on with his life. There would be other people. Even as an idol, it was possible to have a relationship, not a public relationship, but a relationship nonetheless. Minhyun was a sweet person; he did deserve to be happy.

I really hope things work out for him.

#Nu’est #Nu’est fanfic #Baekho #Ren #Minhyun #Jr #Aron #Dongho #Minki #Jonghyun #Baekren #Minron #Baekren fanfic #Minron fanfic #Nu’est imagines #Nu’est scenarios #Baekren imagines #Baekren scenarios #Minron imagines #Minron scenarios #Kpop #Fanfic #Kpop fanfic #Kpop scenarios #Action! #Romance #Humor #Fluff #Internalized homophobia #Externalized homophobia

[destinyimage]

How to Release His Miracle-Working Power

God takes pleasure in expectant faith. He likes hungry children who come back for more and more.

Think how your heavenly Father feels when He knows you delight in His blessings and in His ways. He takes pleasure in pleasing His children. When he sees that pleasure exemplified in your praise and your worship, when He sees that you’re satisfied in Him, that you’re happy, that you’re full of joy, that you’re thankful, it causes God to give more and to pour out more of His goodness upon you. Gratitude provokes blessings.

I crave the things of God as well as the blessings of God. That hunger for Him causes God to show His power and goodness to me.

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In my book, RevivalMakers, I discuss a moment I had with God in early 2021 at Fresh Start Church in Phoenix, Arizona. But I had another one of those moments in Chicago in 1999. I was a younger preacher and I was hungry for the miraculous. I had grown up seeing God do miracles in our church. I had seen people baptized and filled with the Holy Spirit. But just like I talked about in the potato soup story, there was this hunger for more. Every time God moved in our service, I was never satisfied—I wanted more. I said, “What else, what else can You do?”

We would have these great moves of God where we were literally drunk in the Holy Ghost. Young people would carry us onto the bus after youth camp because we were just flat, sloppy drunk in the Holy Ghost. And I remember sitting on the bus thinking, What else can You do?

I was not satisfied that He had just moved in a service; I was expecting and hoping that He would move on the bus home from youth

camp. Sunday morning service, I’d come in with this wild expectation: “God’s going to do something.” There was just this hunger for more of the Lord. And back when I was a kid, most Pentecostals didn’t have televisions. And if you did have one, you didn’t tell anybody that you had one because it was the one-eyed devil and you weren’t supposed to have one. Thankfully, we had a “monitor” (a TV without cable) that I could rig with paperclips to pick up channels.

I used to watch Christian television for hours on end. I’d watch those services with a holy frustration stirring up on the inside of me. I’d watch those healing crusades where 20 and 30 wheelchairs were brought to the front emptied. In a moment, people were healed here and there, and scores of people lined up, ready to testify of how God had healed them, God had delivered them, and God had done miracles. I was captivated by and hungry for the miraculous. I needed to know if it was real or fake.

When I got to the stadium in Chicago that day I saw a lady in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank. I saw her husband help her out of the car and wheel her into the stadium. God allowed me to see that because He was going to show me something later in the service to prove to me this was really Him.

The Holy Spirit filled the stadium as the people began to praise and worship God. During that time of worship, I heard a lady shriek. I turned around to look and it was that lady from the parking lot. She was disconnecting the tubes that were in her nose. She was disconnecting everything from the oxygen tank. I watched her pull herself up and stand up out of the wheelchair, her husband crying. And I saw her begin to lift her legs and walk, completely healed. Nobody laid a hand on her. Nobody spoke the word of faith to her. She was just healed in the presence of God. And I watched as she and her husband just started celebrating.

I heard a shout come from the other side of the stadium. I don’t know exactly what healing they received, but it was obvious something miraculous was happening. Pastor Benny said, “Yes, Lord, do it again.” Miracles started happening like popcorn all around the stadium. No one had to pray. No one had to ask it, because in the presence of God anything and everything is possible.

God took me to that service to encourage my faith and change how I approach God with my needs. That service confirmed what my father had always taught me about praise and worship—when we praise God up, blessings come down! God inhabits the praises of His people. When He comes, every blessing and benefit comes with Him! It’s only a praise away! At a miracle crusade, I saw it. It was like the praise went up like a magnet and literally pulled heaven down to the earth. The atmosphere of the miraculous was created through praise and worship, and all of these miracles started popping up and taking place all over.

Overwhelmed by everything God was doing, I stepped into the lobby of the arena. There was a lady beating on the door demanding she be let into the service. Apparently the arena had reached maximum capacity and they weren’t letting anyone else in, but this lady was persistent. She yelled, “Let me in! Let me in! Don’t you understand? If I get in there, I’m going to get a miracle!” That moment marked me. This lady was not coming with her fingers crossed hoping that God would move on her behalf. She was convinced—if I can just get in the room, I know I will be healed!

She didn’t have hope. She had expectation. So did multiplied thousands who attended and received miracles that day. They showed up confident—if I can just get in that room, I will be healed.

That service changed my life because that day God revealed to me the highest level of faith that exists—expectation. They expected to get a miracle. They expected to get healed.

It changed my perception of how I approach the Father. For years I’ve been coming bashful, timid—“If You would, would You please heal me? Would You please bless me? Would You please make a way?” But the Bible says to come boldly before the throne of grace. He is your Father and we are His children. RevivalMakers expect God to answer. RevivalMakers expect to see miracles. RevivalMakers expect revival. We’re not hoping, we’re not praying that it might happen—we’re looking in expectation! That’s how you should approach every service—expecting there will be a moving of the Spirit, expecting revival will break out.

I’m fully aware of the times we’re living in, the trouble that has surrounded us, the opinion of our naysayers in the world regarding Christianity. But here’s where I stand today—like the woman trying to enter the crusade in Chicago, I’m knocking, I’m pressing, I’m pushing to get into the presence of God. I just know that in His presence anything is possible!

I expect miracles. I expect healing. I expect revival.

There’s an old song that not everyone remembers, but it’s the song of my heart for this season:

I hear the sound of abundance of rain!

God’s going to pour out His Spirit on all man! Like the days of old

Revival’s coming again

I hear the sound of abundance of rain!

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