#i hate myself for my base plan this season but i also love the lore so it evens out

[nach0]

apollo watch out your work is going to consume you- oh gods they can't hear me they have airpods in

#stinky bastard man #i hate myself for my base plan this season but i also love the lore so it evens out #...why did i say season #i meant version #watching too much mcyt lol

[tleeaves]

The Fictional Crush Line-Up For 2023 and Beyond

Was going to do this sooner (as in a review on the year based on the new or resurfaced interests I picked up, with aforementioned fictional crushes along the way), but I wanted to collect art for them all too and then I also had to try and remember them all. But here we are. If I'm missing any, I'll either have to edit and or reblog to include them.

See if you can spot any common threads (it may get trickier as the list goes on, just be warned). This goes almost in chronological order. But order does not in any way reflect my level of brainrot and obsession with each.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE FRAGILE THREADS OF POWER, BALDUR'S GATE III, AND ARCANE: LEAGUE OF LEGENDS (SPECIFICALLY REGARDING VIKTOR).

Consider yourself warned.

Victor Vale (Vicious by V.E. Schwab)

Victor and his revenge story are kind of responsible for kick-starting my journey of self-rediscovery these past twelve months, in a strange and roundabout way. He made me want to stick up for myself and what I wanted out of life. Sure, he's extremely morally grey in a concerning way, and yeah, we don't normally encourage revenge, but I found him a comfort at a difficult time. But also, I could totally fix him (no one can and it's no one's responsibility, yet the sentiment is still there). I'm not usually one for blonds (I am a liar) but his cold aesthetic is oddly pleasing. There's nothing I understand more than an awe that rots into resentment and envy while maintaining the same thread of fascination with someone. "Victor Vale was not a fucking sidekick" is just a, mwah, chef's kiss line. Honestly, I have less of a crush on this guy, more of an understanding that I appreciate. Also, I haven't even mentioned the chronic pain implications and canon uses of his powers. But that might be for another time.

Viktor (Arcane: League of Legends)

Another Viktor with chronic illness themes and whose (in LoL lore) regard for a partner in science goes sour over time as they pursue different objectives (not seen in the Netflix series yet, of course, it's too early for glorious evolution). This guy always comes back to rot in my brain, and I cannot wait for season 2 later this year to see what comes of his arc. I'm planning a fanfic involving him, Jayce, and maybe/sort of Jinx, based on a dream I had months ago but still have swirling in the soup that is my consciousness. There is something so pretty about this guy. If I was more confident in my sketching abilities, he'd end up being my muse way too often. Viktor's character to me is kind of a tragedy personified, and I love a good tragedy. Oh, and his voice actor?? Amazing. There's some debate over how authentic he sounds to Eastern Europeans, but the accent aside still, he sounds sooo good. I want to sit in on a lecture where he speaks about literally anything for two hours.

Kell Maresh (A Darker Shade of Magic; The Fragile Threads of Power by V.E. Schwab)

Usually, I don't talk about Kell because of how silly I feel like my crush on him is. I identify with Delilah "Lila" Bard throughout ADSOM and even Threads, so I hate further mentioning how much I actually think about Kell because I'd have to fist fight anyone who said I only relate to her because of Kell when that's not the truth. And yet, there's still enough differences between Lila and I for me to be like "if I had to pick a woman in the Schwabverse..." But also, MAYBE I JUST THINK KELL IS GORGEOUS, OKAY? 🫣 Maybe I like that he starts as a somewhat naive prince who's had things both easy and rough in life (wanting to be loved by the only family you know and not feel like you're only there to protect your adoptive brother whom your parents tried to tell you both was not actually your brother and you should stop treating each other as such is VALID, argue with the wall, also he's the bodyguard and eternal worrier (yes, worrying) for Rhy and he's taken lives way too young). Maybe I like that he fell first and fell hard for Lila (okay, but if we're getting into the nitty-gritty, she did flirt with him first multiple times, but she would never admit to actual feelings), that he's the male love interest without reservations for once, leaving it up to Lila and whether she's open to love for once in a story. And yeah, okay, maybe I like that he's actually some kind of a prince charming, the sort you always secretly dream about, you know? Shut up. I like his stupid magic coat too. He's clever, but occasionally actually unbelievably dumb, he's funny and witty yet he knows when to keep his mouth shut (and is usually the one hauling others out of a scrap because of their own smart mouths), he cares too much about his family, AND DID I MENTION HE ALSO HAS CHRONIC ILLNESS THEMES THAT BROKE MY DAMN CHRONICALLY ILL AND IN PAIN HEART? I've said too much already, but there. He's a guy.

Miguel O'Hara (Spider-Man: Across The SpiderVerse)

This is the one my sister teases me most about because she doesn't get it. To be honest with you all, even I don't know how to explain it. But this guy. Miguel. There is something about him that I just abdkjdjsdv, you know? Is it the tragedy? The moral greyness? The fangs? His insane height? Just his fanon self? The fucking muscles?? I don't know. But I will defend how interesting he is as an antagonist until the cows come home.

Elliott (Stardew Valley)

Oh... boy. Sometimes, I realise I have a type. It's pretty guys who are hopeless romantics that write novels and poetry. Maybe it's just this one guy. But wow, it works on me. I'm writing a fanfic about him because I need to. There's only 400-odd words to it so far. It was not long after I met him in the game that I decided I had to wife him up. I planted that pomegranate tree early, because it's his favourite fruit for those who don't know, and he loves receiving them as a gift. I got ducks so I could give him their stray feathers. I learned how and when to find lobsters and catch crabs because he loves those too. If I'm out of gifts, I go get a coffee for him because every writer needs their sustenance. Literally, by Spring of Year 2, we were married, and I wondered if perhaps I might have been a little too single-mindedly pursuing every one of those cut scenes when I should have been taking it a bit slower and making it less of a mission. Don't know what to tell you, I went crazy. I fully believe in the headcanon that he gets up early just to go through his haircare routine. Is he pretentious? Maybe. Does he lay it on a little too thick that he's scared of dying alone? Well, okay, yes. Does it bother me that as a househusband he doesn't help out more on the farm? Occasionally. But there's also no one else I'd rather be with (and I developed a sprinkler system specifically so there was less work for me anyway and so now I don't mind at all when he isn't helping). And I can't believe my sister ever introduced me to Stardew Valley because I am now mentally ill about a videogame character made of pixels. Yes, I make wine just for him too. Hush. I spoil him daily now that we're married. Our first child is a son named Ernest. I was debating between Ernest and Edgar, and honestly, I think I should have gone with the latter, but I chose the former. All the dialogue from Elliott is so frickin' cute.

Astarion Ancunín (Baldur's Gate III)

And do you know what the worst part about this one is? I still haven't actually played Baldur's Gate III. I know, I KNOW. A crime. I'm working on it. But you best believe I've watched every cutscene I can, every scrap of gameplay dialogue, all the choices, the different endings you can get with him (Ascended breaks my heart every time -- I don't care how hot he is, it's not what he would have wanted, he doesn't love you like he used to anymore, and he's not as happy as he could be), and I've listened to all the interviews with Neil Newbon and the writer for Astarion about him. This fruity traumatised vampire haunts me. I want to hold him gently and caress his face and tell him he's beautiful and what he looks like to me since he hasn't seen his reflection in centuries and I want to make sure he knows he's loved. I want him to bite me and drink my blood too, but that's not as important. Does it weird me out how much he reminds me of Prince Charming from the Shrek franchise and Preminger from Barbie: The Princess and the Pauper and then aesthetically Asra from The Arcana: A Mystic Romance? Yes. But Astarion's also his own character and I'm in love with his smile and goofy lines.

Settrigh "Sett" (Heartsteel; League of Legends)

This... might be the lowest point, actually 💀 My sister would agree. Because it's not enough to crush on book characters, show characters, and videogame characters -- while technically this guy is a videogame character and was part of League of Legends waaay before the music video, it was the PARANOIA music video that got me. So, even fictional characters made/involved in music videos are not safe from my heart. Because, as I understand it, OG Sett is a bit different from Heartsteel Sett, and I've found I usually prefer reading about the interpretation of the latter in fanfic more than the former. I mean, I still really, really enjoy fanfics where he's The Big Boss of the pits, and or his other background/lore is included, but I've read some where his old personality is a bit Yikes. The golden retriever energy is my favourite era of his if we can call it that (I still headcanon him as a part fox Vastayan, you can't convince me otherwise so go argue with someone else about it, not me). And honestly, I think I might have read more fics involving Sett in 2023 than I did any of the other characters on this list. Which is saying something since he's not as popular as a few of them. He's a pretty guy and I wish to bite him. Lovingly.

Mizu (Blue Eye Samurai)

Oh woman. Mizu is... is... she's basically my wife. I know she's all our wife, but like just let me dream a little here. As soon as I finished the series, I was opening up Tumblr, Pinterest, and AO3, my holy trinity of fandom. My platonic wife was sending me TikToks of our shared fictional wife. Mizu can wind up non-binary, male, female, I honestly do not mind because I am in love with any version she is/becomes (for now, I interpret her as a woman in disguise, but if that changes, I'll absolutely change how I refer to Mizu). She is a tragedy wrapped up in revenge because of a rotten love and unfortunate parentage and time period. I want her as much as I want to be her. Also? I go insane over her little smiles and smirks. I LOVE when we got to hear her laugh, even if it was mostly the flashbacks (do not mention Mikio near me; if he wasn't already dead, I would kill him). Also, who doesn't hate their British/white half, ahaha, oh my god, I know mixed ethnicity is a hot topic for people who do not want POC whitewashed in media, and I fully understand that, but I do appreciate seeing parts of myself in mixed characters like the conflict between trying to be more like one side than another. I'll also admit it: she does indeed look hot covered in blood and carrying a sword. I'll see myself out the door. I've been wanting to write a fanfic about her but I'm still stewing over ideas. Mizu is also probably my first truly major crush on a fictional woman (other than my childhood crush on Helga Sinclair from Atlantis: The Lost Empire). Vi from Arcane comes pretty close, but I see too much of myself in her that it gets weird.

We'll do some honourable mentions for characters from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim since I've gotten into that again.

Brynjolf, Hadvar, and Nazir, I wish I could mod my gameplay so I could marry you. The developers hated their men-loving gamers (I know the women-lovers complain about Serana, but she will never be as heartbreaking as Brynjolf, I don't care if she recognises proposals only to decline them). I mean, Brynjolf is the Tamriel equivalent of Scottish, he calls you "lass/lad", has got a smoothass voice, supports you through so much of the Thieves Guild questline, has a wicked sense of humour, and then when you finish the questline, it's all "sorry, lass. Got important things to do. We'll speak another time" 😭 You can't even recruit him as a follower. He says nothing when you wear an amulet of Mara. I play on a fucking PS4, I can't do mods to marry him or get more dialogue.

(By the way, on my most recent playthrough, Lydia died when I fought the troll on the seven thousand steps, and I am still mad about it. It used to be difficult for Lydia to die, that was why I brought her everywhere, and now I have to become Batman "I work alone". ESPECIALLY after Benor then died on the way up to Paarthurnax. I still can't believe that happened, I should have told him to stay behind and wait for my return.)

Also, every time I play, Derkeethus is so bugged, I can't even rescue him let alone marry the guy, which was disappointing because he seemed nice.

Argis the Bulwark, Vilkas, Farkas, Rayya, Aela the Huntress, and Marcurio, you are all marriageable and live in my heart always. Marcurio was the first I ever married, I think. Three guesses why I chose him (it's the sarcasm, wisecracks, and general sense of humour) (maybe the long hair too). Has anyone noticed how there doesn't seem to be marriageable options among the Khajiit characters?? Why do you think that is? I just checked the Skyrim marriage wiki and this is what it has to say in the trivia: 'There are no Khajiit spouses, however; since the majority of Khajiit in Skyrim are traders or travelers from Elsweyr, they probably have families back home. Additionally, Khajiit characters talk about home a lot, stating how much they miss it and how cold Skyrim is; thus, they probably do not want to marry and settle down in Skyrim.'

Heart-breaking. Oh well.

And that's the end of the line-up. If you read through this, Divines bless your goddamn soul. Psycho-analyse me based on them, I dare you. Or just judge me. I'd like to see either. And if you can find something in common about them all (you don't need to consider the honourable Skyrim mentions), please let me know, because I am personally at a loss.

#victor vale #viktor arcane #kell maresh #miguel o'hara #elliott stardew valley #astarion ancunin #sett heartsteel #mizu blue eye samurai #skyrim characters #these are all just from the past twelve months #the real common thread here might just be mental illness

[bapple117]

Some RadioCotton Trivia 📻🐰❤️

Now that my first fic "If You Can't Say Somethin' Nice, Don't Say Nothin' At All" is finished, I thought I would share some behind-the-scenes trivia!

Some of this will contain minor spoilers for the plot, so read with caution if you've not finished the story - there will be no spoilers for part two (All That Grace). Okay let's go! This list is LONG so hold on y'all

The Bambi Thing

The name is a direct quote from Bambi; there's actually a LOT of Bambi references in the whole fic. The quote was actually the entire inspiration for the whole premise. Bambi is one of my favourite Disney movies and I couldn't help but notice a lot of shared themes between it and Alastor - and then I thought, what if a cute, wholesome rabbit demon came to Hell and taught him to be sweeter?

There's another direct script lift from Bambi later in the fic - when Alastor has the dream about his mother. 'Mother? MOTHER? Mother where are you?' Oh the pain.

Adam also calls Alastor "Bambi" and Verity "Thumper" at points, AND one of the chapters is called "Drip Drip Drop Little April Showers". The themes of them being a deer and a rabbit also crop up a lot, obviously.

The Music Thing

There are a LOT of references to songs, both when I put lyrics at the start of chapters and within the story itself. I am aggressively inspired by music and song lyrics, and have immensely eclectic taste, and can't help myself. Some songs would be the thematic influence for a chapter and I would literally listen to the song on repeat as I either planned or wrote the chapter. Something I'm still doing now while I write Bluest Monday!

At one point I spent about an hour trying to find the name of a music scale just so I could accurately describe it when Alastor and Verity play the piano. I am very meticulous with my research, I was determined to find it 😂

The Alastor Thing

The way I chose to write Alastor was influenced by a number of things. One, that "What just happened? Ffffffuck" line from the finale of Season 1 did a LOT of heavy lifting for me. It showed that he has a version of himself that's less guarded and raw - and I don't care what anyone says, it's NOT because his staff broke. He goes right back to the filter and accent immediately afterwards and the staff is still broken, so.

Two, I just really wanted to write him as someone that uses violence and a covered-up personalty as a coping mechanism for grief, which I don't think is too far from the canon. His eventual softening and ability to love was influenced by things like Mr Darcy, Kylo Ren (LOL), Astarion from BG3, etc etc. Traumatised bad boy is healed by the sunshine girl - we love to see it.

I also did a LOT of research on the canonical information thus far known about Alastor, including things Viv has said in streams. The only thing I got dead wrong was a chapter where he drinks tea - apparently he hates it. Everything else is either based on canon or a speculation based on lore that's been teased.

Other Random Facts

I chose to include Adam as a fleshed out character for a few reasons. One, he's hella fun to write. Two, I had the Vox-jealous-kidnap-and-rescue planned since the start, and I knew I needed a character who could help them. Adam is unknown to the Vees as a hotel resident at that point, and so he became a great choice. I needed to lay the ground work so it would be convincing that he'd help them, so he's there from the start. I ended up loving him so much that he's now one of the main characters in the sequel and is getting his own development arc. Go Adam!

Adam also breaks the fourth wall in the show (Ugly people? *looks at camera*) and so I felt inspired to make him quippy with pop culture references a la Deadpool. It was great fun and very helpful when I wanted to squeeze in a fitting reference.

There is a LOT of foreshadowing and wordplay in the fic. A LOT, so much I don't have time to list it all. For example, Verity drunkenly talks (in Chap 4) about how deer are territorial momma's boys - if that ain't Alastor idk what is. That info becomes very important in Chap 21.

There are references to stuff from Helluva Boss; Fizzerolli Cola, a Verosika music video plays, etc. A sign of more to come in P2 👀

Dramatic irony (where the audience knows something the character doesn't and it's either funny or tragic) is my absolute FAVOURITE Shakespearian trope, and I use it all the time.

I made myself laugh a lot coming up with the names for fake booze LOL

Husk was one of my favourite characters to write, as well as Alastor (ofc), Rosie and Adam.

My personal favourite chapters are 13 (Al drunk with Rosie) 19 (dream scene, fluff & first smut) and 23 (final chapter). I loved the image of Alastor laughing into his drink like a normal young man being silly and chapter 19 has a bit of everything - angst, fluff, smut, comedy. I loved writing that one so much.

The scene where Verity uses Alastor's power to manifest them away from the group cheekily and then Alastor likes it a lot and goes crazy kissing her is very inspired by this scene in Titanic (one of my all time fave movies) - especially where Rose swears and laughs as the lift is going up.

I myself have lost a parent, so I understand that loss very well. I poured a lot of that feeling into this fic, it was something I could actually inject into the story from my own experience.

I'm pretty sure we got the comments turned off on a video on youtube LOL. I linked this song at the end of Chap 19 (I listened to it on repeat while writing the love scene) and the next day the comments were disabled LMAO. That track will ALWAYS remind me of this fic now, arugh my heart

Verity

As much as Verity started as just a way for me to avoid using (Y/N) in a reader-insert fic (something I personally don't like) and a way for me to do the rabbit and deer theme, she became her own character over the course of the story. I made it reader-insert cause I figured no one would read it otherwise, but now the sequel is third person bc she's her own person.

Her name was also a deliberate choice - a V name meaning truth. She makes Alastor face his truth, yadda yadda blah blah blah you get it you get it 😂 Plus it just sounds like a rabbit name doesn't it?

Verity has a lot of traits from myself, but she is NOT self-insert for me, I'd hasten to add. I'm not completely delulu guys okay? ....Not entirely But she does have a lot of overlap with myself. You gotta write what you know, after all. I won't go into detail about the similarities between us - some of them are obvious, I think. But I'll leave that all ambiguous, more fun that way :)

Final Thoughts

There are honestly so many more things I could say but this is already veering into narcissistic self-indulgence land LOL so I feel compelled to stop here, but if anyone has any questions or things they'd like to know, pop them in my inbox!

That's all, folks!

#bapple chats #bapple writes #radiocotton #trivia #q&a #verity #If you can't say somethin' nice don't say nothin' at all #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel #hazbin fanfic #alastor #hazbin alastor #writer stuff #behind the scenes

[shadowynn]

(preview of yandere!vampire!cult!poly!ateez au wip below the cut!)

merry christmas and happy holidays!! in honor of this festive time of the year, I was hoping to do a short christmasy drabble with in love and lore, but am sorry to announce my procrastination has gotten the better of me to the point it’s just not getting done, at least not in time for this christmas.

speaking of in love and lore, I have hit a rough bit of writer’s block, so I’ve taken a short break to just clear my mind and enjoy the season. the last thing I want is to force things and come to hate writing it. I’ll be visiting my family this week, but once I’m back home, I’ll be back to writing. I have a few ideas floating around in how I want the next chapter to go, and hoping for the next chapter to come out mid-January at the latest.

however, I would like to give you all something, so I have decided to give you all a short preview of a wip that hit me like a storm this past week. It’s based off the movie 1BR on Netflix, with the inclusion of vampires because I just couldn’t help myself. Keep in mind, that this is a very early wip and that it’s still in major development. with that also being said, I do not plan on making this work as big as a project as in love and lore. More as just a series of drabbles and scenarios. like there will still be a plot, but not the world building that my other work has. but who knows, maybe as it develops, it’ll get there.

so, without further ado, I present to you a preview of… The Paradigm Complex

“So, what do you think?”

You were startled from your thoughts at the voice that spoke up next to you. The seat beside you that had previously been empty now occupied by the sweet-talking man who had been your tour guide for the day - Yeosang if you were recalling it correctly. It had surprised you how young he was when you had signed in for the open house earlier that afternoon, and you were once again struck by that very same thought as he plopped down next to you, head propped up by the elbow that rested against the table. 

“It’s very nice,” you replied, eyes once more taking in the scene around. After touring the available unit for the first half of the showing, you had been brought to the center of the complex that was used as a community center. The outside area was enclosed by the building around it and included everything from a garden and greenhouse to a swimming pool and grilling area. “And the community also seems very nice and safe.” 

You referred to the young boy currently sitting in your lap, content with drawing on one of the backs of the application you had been given at the end of the tour to fill out. You didn’t know anything past his given name, Junseo, but he had become attached to you when you noticed him crying on the ground near the garden. While the others in your group had swept their eyes right by the sniffling child, you had approached him, rustling through your purse for the bandages you kept when you noticed the cut on his knee. His mother had thanked you profusely when he led you to her, too busy tending to another part of the garden to notice what had happened. And though you had left him with her, it didn’t take long for him to return to you, preferring your company over the other kids milling around while his mother worked. 

You thought it strange, but the wave the mother sent you when she saw him with you told you she didn’t mind, making you wonder just what sort of community there was here for her and the others to be comfortable with letting their children run free. 

It was just another factor that told how nice this place was. Everything about this place was nice. Nicer than any place you had ever lived in before. It was perfect, everything you could wish for, but-

“But…” As though he had read your mind, the man finished your train of thought, a hint of a smile tracing his lips as his eyes traveled to the papers you had left blank up to this point. The only markings on them from the scribbling Junseo had done along their backs. 

“But it’s a bit out of my price range, I’m afraid.” 

A bit was an understatement; the place was double what you could afford. You had known that going in though. The Paradigm housing complex had made a name for itself within the past few years as one of the most prestigious and highly exclusive apartment complexes in the city, and you had known the price for the available unit would be high above your budget. And yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from signing up for the open house the following weekend when you noticed a few spots were still available. It wasn’t often a unit became vacant, the last one had been nearly a year ago, and the timing had been impeccable. 

You weren’t really looking for a new place to live. You had one in the south end of town with your boyfriend, and yet, that hadn’t stopped you from looking at available housing in the city on your laptop late at night when he was still at ‘work’. You wanted out. You had wanted out for months since you had first caught wind he was cheating, and still cheating, but it had always seemed so impossible. You were still finishing up your last year in school, and even with working enough hours to be considered full time at the bookstore, you could barely afford your half of the rent. A fact he readily reminded you of any time you wanted to leave him. As much as you hated every time he said it, he was right. You needed him. Unless you were willing to sacrifice your own safety and move into a shitty unit in a sketchy part of town, you were stuck where you were. You needed him and he knew it. 

Perhaps it was because of this that you had come out today. He had been scheduled for a weekend shift at the hospital, leaving you free to come to the open house without him questioning you on your whereabouts as you left. The Paradigm was a life you could never afford, and yet, it was nice to escape reality for a few hours. To sit and imagine what your life would be like if you hadn’t landed yourself in such a sticky situation. And yet, you hadn’t expected the stab of melancholy that had hit you as you had roamed the studio apartment available for rent, nor as you sat here in the courtyard with the pleasant buzz of the complex’s current tenants as they roamed through the area. 

“Does that mean you’re looking for a place on your own, then?” he asked, attempting to blow the piece of hair the wind had cast in front of his eye. 

“Myself?” You asked, not quite fully understanding which way he meant his statement and feeling a tad panicked at the thought of leaving your boyfriend to start afresh on your own. Was that something you could really do? “Uh, yeah, it would just be me.” 

“Well, if you ask me, it doesn’t hurt to still apply. We’re always more than willing to negotiate prices for the right person,” he hummed, fingers tapping against the table. “Though it would probably be best if I grabbed you a new copy. Junseo doesn’t seem too keen on letting yours go at the moment.” Junseo looked up at the mention of his name, and matched the goofy smile Yeosang sent his way. 

“That’s very kind of you, but even then…” You turned your face away, fighting the blush the embarrassment your current situation brought. Despite attempting to dress up for the event, you still stuck out from the other people who had signed up. The designer clothes and handbags a stark contrast from your thrifted outfit. Hell, even Junseo had nicer clothes than you to run around the garden in. “To be completely honest, I just really wanted to get an inside peek of this place. I knew I can’t afford to live somewhere like this at the moment, but I thought it might be fun to just see what it would be like.”

You resituated Junseo’s position in your lap, taking in the people milling around the grounds. It was a beautiful day, bright and warm. The perfect day to spend some time outside and enjoy what remained of the summer. You could see yourself fitting in well here. Helping out in the garden in between playing with the few children roaming the grounds. Maybe even take a dip in the pool to cool off from a hard day’s work before lounging in a nearby lounge to soak up the last of the summer sun. 

It was just too bad that was a lifestyle you couldn’t afford on your own. Not while you were still in school and struggling with bills and debt as it was. 

“But you are currently looking for a new place to live, right?”

“It’s not an immediate necessity at the moment, but yes,” you nodded, “if given the opportunity, I would move in a heartbeat. Not just here, but anywhere. As long as it was safe and something I could call my own.”

“Then fill out an application.” He ruffled around in his bag, pulling out another application and pen and pushing it towards you. “I’m close with the owner and can put in a good word for you. Just fill it out, list the rent you can feasibly pay at the moment, and we might be able to work something out. After all, we’re much more concerned about quality than quantity here at Paradigm.”

“You would do that?” Your eyes widened, wondering why on earth this man would do that for you when the rest of your group would be willing to pay twice the starting rent just for the opportunity to say they lived in the most exclusive complex in the city. “Why?”

“I like to think I have a nose for good people,” he smiled, fingers tapping against the application, “and you’re a good person, y/n, I can smell it. So, come on, Junnie,” he reached for the boy on your lap, ignoring the pout that crossed his lips as he took him from your hold, “let’s get you back to your mother so the pretty lady can fill out her application.”

He left you at that, but only made it a few feet before he was stopped by a nearby couple that had been in your group. By the glance they sent your way, you could tell they had overheard Yeosang’s mention of putting in a good word for you and hoped to earn a similar feat for themselves. After all, it didn’t matter who the first person to apply for the unit was or who was the highest bidder when it came to the Paradigm. You didn’t get to choose whether or not you lived here. They chose you. And a good word from the tour guide was exactly what you needed to get in. Not wanting to stick around for the conversation, Junseo wriggled his way out of Yeosang’s grasp and made off in the direction of his mother with one last toothy grin in your direction. 

You turned to the second application he had handed towards you, twirling the pen in your hand as you mulled the decision over. None of it made much sense in your mind. Why would they select your application when there was hundreds of others that would willingly pay triple what you could? But even if that was the case, what did you have to lose by following through with it? If it didn’t go through, and you weren’t selected, you’d still be exactly where you were now. In a shitty situation, but no shittier than it already was. And on the tiny chance it did go through, well, your entire life could change. You would have that fresh start you had been yearning for so long. 

That and, well, there was something charming about Yeosang. It didn’t slip your notice that he had called you pretty in passing, and though you knew it was just the way his personality seemed to be, you still felt a pull towards him. He was someone you felt you could get along with. Someone you would enjoy getting to know and become friends with if you only had the chance to. 

So, before you could give it too much thought and talk yourself out of it, you pulled the application closer towards you and began writing. 

~

You weren’t the type of person to pick up unknown calls, but something about the number that flashed on your screen as you waited out your lunch break in your car seemed familiar. You didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, not after all the shit you had dealt with the first half of your shift, but your finger still hovered over the accept button as you quickly searched your brain for whose number it could have been. Thinking it might have been your doctor finally returning your call for a refill you had been waiting on or even possibly a call on one of the countless job applications you had been filling out the past few weeks, you grudgingly accepted. Figuring it was better to get it over with now instead of living with the stress of what it might be the rest of your shift. 

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this y/n l/n?”

“Um, yeah.” You shifted the phone in your hand, trying to place the familiarity of the voice on the other end. Was it finally a call back from one of the job applications you had put in? “This is y/n.”

“This is Kang Yeosang from Paradigm. I’m calling to let you know that your application for unit 617 has been accepted.”

“Wait, are you being serious?”

You couldn’t hold back the gasp his response elicited, sure this was some sort of joke being pulled. Despite Yeosang’s promise of putting in a good word for you, you had never expected anything to come of it. Not when you had followed through with his suggestion and wrote down the actual amount you could feasibly pay for the place. And though you had held on to some hope something would come from it, you had never truly expected to hear from them again. 

“I can assure you, I’m quite serious,” he chuckled. “I talked with the owner about your application and he was willing to accept it with a few added stipulations I would like to discuss with you if you have the time.”

“Oh, okay.” 

You did your best to hide your disappointment, fearing the worst. Despite Yeosang’s insistence they were willing to negotiate on pricing, you should have known they wouldn’t just willingly drop the rent by half for you just because he had felt pity for you. 

“You see, one of our administrative assistants recently put in her resignation and we’re in need of a replacement. When we looked over your application, we noticed the address of your current residence and place of work are on the other side of the city and figured you would likely be in need of a job with a shorter commute if you were to move here.”

The dread which his earlier statement had caused was slowly being replaced with excitement once more as he continued to speak, eagerly hoping he was beginning to allude to what you thought he was. 

“We’d like to extend a job offer towards you here at Paradigm, which if you were to accept, would cover the cost of your rent plus a biweekly stipend to cover any other expenses you might have.”

“And what exactly would the job entail?” you asked, trying hard to cover the shock his reply gave you and trying just as hard to not let your hopes get too high before you figured out exactly what it was he was offering you. There had to be a catch; the offer was just too good to be true. “I’m finishing up my last year of college online, but I would still need some flexibility in my schedule.”

“Oh, it would just be your typical administrative work. You’d mostly be assisting myself and the other managers here at Paradigm and we’d be more than willing to work around your class schedule,” Yeosang replied without skipping a beat. “When you have time, I’ve sent an email to you that includes a detailed description of the job, alongside the logistics of your pay and housing for you to look through so you can have a clearer idea of what you would be signing up for if you were to accept.”

You were silent, unsure of what exactly to say. What could you say? Everything you had wished for the past few months was finally being extended towards you. A new job, housing of your own, and most importantly, a way out of the toxic relationship you had been stuck in for so long. All of it. Everything you dreamed of for so long, now within reach. 

There had to be a catch, right? It couldn’t be as good as it seemed, right? So what was it? A whole new life in exchange for your soul?

“I know this is a lot to take in, so don’t feel as though you have to accept anything right away. Read through the emails I sent you and just give us a call back sometime within the next two weeks with your answer.”

-

and that is a very rough start to my new project. feel free to let me know what you all think and if this is something that you would be interested in! once again, I hope you all had/have a wonderful holiday/Christmas season. :)

#ateez #in love and lore update #new project #wip #ateez fic #ateez x reader #the paradigm complex #you guys are the best #i love you all #merry christmas #thanks for a great end to a year

[moongothic]

JJK fans love the Kenjaku is Yuji’s mom reveal so why is there such opposition in OP fandom to the Crocodile is Luffy’s birthing-dad theory?

I mean I'm not into JJK (I watched Season 1 and thought it was fine) so I can't really comment on that situation (like how it plays out in that story* and what their fandom is like), but I think in OP's case it just comes down to rampant transphobia?

*(Okay I quickly looked up What The Situation seemed to be in JJK and as far as I can tell, although Kenjaku took over the body of Yuji's mom and gave birth to the kid, he does not seem to be a binary trans person? Rather, he's just some inhuman, monstrous entity who took over a body of a poor woman for a while before going back to presenting as male? Like there is an argument to be made that Kenjaku could be read as genderfluid or nonbinary (or even a GNC trans woman because Kenjaku does not have to possess Women Only Forever to be a woman), but you could also just ignore the potential queerness of the character entirely? And just treat him as a cishet murderous monster? (Who can do queer shit if he feels like being experimental or has just evil master plan to fulfill because he's already "morally corrupt" so having a gay phase is just a cherry on top at this point) But again because I'm not into JJK I don't know how that reveal has been treated in the story at all so I can't comment on it really)

More specifically; One Piece is a much, much older series, and as an older series, its fanbase is also older. And when you have an older fanbase, it's more likely there'll be "old fashioned" transphobic and queerphobic fans in general. Like a new series like JJK may be a bit more likely to attract younger, more open-minded fans, where as OP's fanbase can base as old as the series itself. (Mind you I'm not saying old OP fans are queerphobic by default, fuck I'm almost 30 myself lmao)

Not helped by the fact that, while I do sincerely believe Oda is for Queer Liberation, his representation of queerness in One Piece has been Imperfect at Best, often instead reinforcing western queerphobic ideas about queer people instead. So on a surface level the transphobes can look at OP and simply assume Oda is on their side, and when you add to the fact how for a long time there was this absolute echo chamber where nobody could ever say anything negative about Oda ever... Yeah, despite Oda's representation improving, the transphobic side of the fandom has not grown one bit.

Thus, we have a lot of older fans who view Crocodile as A (cishet) Masculine Manly Man, a type of guy some men kinda look up to (and someone a lot of women find hot). And many of those people would probably see it as a threat to their own masculinity if The Manly Man Crocodile turned out to be """a chick""". And even if it didn't, some of them just hate trans people and don't want him to be trans. They'd accuse Oda of """going woke""" if Crocodile did turn out to be trans. They'd accuse him of "changing the character" (actually seen people say that).

And all of that shit would just be amplified if Crocodile was not just a trans man but also had been the one who had given birth to Luffy. Especially because then there'd be no way for them to ignore it in the story, as that would be like an important plot point and crucial character lore. There's be no way to ignore the fact that Monkey D. Luffy has two fathers, and one of them is a gay trans man. And that mere concept I'm sure makes the transphobes' blood boil.

Or at least, this is what I'm assuming is going on deep in the psyche of the most openly transphobic OP fans.

The other aspect could be just that a lot of people haven't actually done like a deep dive into the theory and have just heard the surface level meme version of it, and like. Like I had heard of the theory like 7+ years ago maybe, but only in the context of a piece of joke fanart. I never thought it was An Actual Theory until last September (and proceeded to lose my mind when I fell down into that rabbithole), like until then had you asked me about Crocodad I would've been like "lol what?"

But like. I dunno man. Usually when you see people discuss the theory on Reddit or elsewhere, the explicitly negative comments and takes about the theory just tend to call it "stupid" without explaining why they feel that way. So I can't say for sure why the OP fans hate the theory. I can only guess these are the main reasons why???

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Crocodad #JJK Spoilers #CW Discussions of transphobia #No idea how I ended up as an authority on discussing subjects like this when. I'm not. But here we are.

[sepublic]

TOH deserves better

           Y’know what?

           Now that I’ve… Had time to really focus and think and process about the news for The Owl House and its shortened Season 3, now that I’ve really dealt with other things in my life, I’m…

           I’m angry. I’m genuinely MAD…

           The Owl House has always been a comfort show for me! It’s a show I’ve loved, its characters and worldbuilding and mystery is fascinating to me and it’s inspired me! When Season 1 ended... I was excited. I was prepared. I braced myself for the story that Dana Terrace and the writers intended to tell us. I knew we had at LEAST two more full seasons to go, based on Dana’s comment about a third season.

           Season 2 would’ve been a safe season in a sense. A season where we’re in the middle of the action, where we can get onto things that have been planned and set up; But at the same time, it’s not the final season! It’s not the end. There would’ve been an entire, full season, twenty or something episodes after that. I could’ve sat back and enjoyed Season 2 in all its entirety, as another phase of the story set in the middle, and when it was all said and done, I could speculate and hope and wish and think about this final third season; Assuming we wouldn’t even get a fourth!

           But no… NO, Season 3 is literally just. THREE episodes, each twice the normal length, so like six episodes; But still, it’s obvious with how it’s formatted into a trio that Season 3 will be less a season, and more the final battle and climax of the show, the culmination of everything else! Which means for all intents and purposes… Season 2 IS the final season of the show. That everything we want to see, we hope to see; It can only happen in Season 2, because Season 3 is the final battle in a sense.

           Warning: A LOT of text and upset ramblings below!!!

           And that deeply angers me. I’ve done the calculations and there are fourteen episodes we’re missing out on, due to Season 3 being cut down. Fourteen episodes to do any wide variety of things; To focus on side characters, to flesh out lore and plot. To extend and focus on character arcs, to introduce and establish things; Fourteen episodes to introduce, develop, and finish various arcs and smaller plots! There’s SO much to do in fourteen episodes, especially in regards to relationships, and even representation as we talk about Luz and Amity and everyone else!

           And out of NOWHERE, out of the blue- We don’t get that! Dana Terrace herself admitted on Twitter that she left in December to focus on the news. I’m not entirely sure on how production works, but I imagine she and the crew were working on Season 2A when they got this news… Which means they’re going to have to COMPLETELY rehaul and rehash their plans for Season 2B as a result. They’re going to have to hastily pull together and rush the arcs they had planned out, so it can lead up to Season 3.

           They expected fourteen episodes of development; And now they have to resolve that within the remaining ten or so episodes of Season 2, which is already jam-packed with the original plans. At this point, any criticisms for the show’s writing or pacing that might come later down the line… I can’t take it seriously in good faith. Not when I know how Disney just screwed over Dana and the crew so suddenly, so abruptly, so HUGELY. Season 2 was supposed to be the mid-point, and you KNOW there are a bunch of arcs and little plot points that will never see the light of day, or be rushed, to accommodate the change!

           And it really angers me. Season 3 would’ve been made after a lot of fandom response- So all you fans of the Detention Kids, who would’ve liked to see more of them? Season 3 would’ve been the time for Dana and the crew to throw the fandom a bone… EXCEPT, because it’s only three/six episodes, there’s no way the Detention Kids will get focus now. Not when there’s the actual climax of the show left. There’s no room to have fun, to focus on side characters or expand even more on pre-established ones. Fourteen episodes’ worth of kind, small little moments that stand out- Gone, down the drain, never to see the light of day to begin with!

           I just… Feel so BAD for Dana and the crew; Dana fought so hard for this story! Her roommate said that nobody wanted to see a story about an old witch and her young apprentice, and you know what, Dana FOUGHT for that story and got it for us! She had to deal with censors for Lumity, but she fought for that! Dana and the crew were EXCITED to tell us, they no doubt had so much planned and in store, you can tell from the tone of the Reddit AMA and the Charity Livestream, all of which were done months before Disney told Dana and the crew about Season 3 being downsized.

           And like… Dana herself said that she’s still down to do future Owl House content. If Disney asks her to –with pushback from fans- then yeah, she could do more! We might get an epilogue or sequel series… But that doesn’t change how the pacing of the show will be disrupted. How a lot of arcs will have to be prematurely rushed through and finished, instead of having the loving time taken to develop and appreciate them.

          Characters will be rushed through, we had FOURTEEN episodes taken from us! Characters like Belos or Kikimora, or Odalia and Alador, the antagonists- They’re not guaranteed to survive or make it past the end of Season 3, so even if we got more content post-S3, it wouldn’t really be able to remedy for their drastically-shortened screen time, unless through flashbacks or resurrection or whatever. Characters, arcs, development, all are being shafted here.

           And this ANGERS me! Like I said, The Owl House is my comfort show. I finished Season 1 with the full understanding that we weren’t even halfway through yet; We still had SO much more to do, so much more to see, amidst all of the wonders that Season 1 had provided! But now I feel cheated. I feel cheated, because sike! Actually you WERE halfway through, and that changes everything about the tone, the pacing, the setting of the show. Suddenly I’m already looking forward to and anticipating the end, because the end is DIRECTLY after Season 2; And I can’t enjoy it as much, because now I have that anxiety and dread as Season 2 ends that… THIS is the final, full, regular season.

           It was just supposed to be another season for me to enjoy, to further flesh out the show- And out of nowhere, I have to approach this with a sudden sense of finality, I’m forced to really appreciate it even further, because this is it! This is all we have left, when until then, I thought we had so much more! And it’s angering. It’s abrupt. Season 2 was in many ways supposed to be carefree and hands-off…

           But now, I have to approach it in an existential sense. With the full understanding that the show is essentially ENDING by this point, with each new episode, we’re on a timer now. We’ve lost the luxury of Season 1, that Season 2 would’ve had, if it was the midpoint in the series. And now I can’t enjoy things as much because just as quickly as I got these new arcs and characters and developments, I have to watch them be quickly wrapped up. 

          I barely even got them, I was looking forward to more of it, there should’ve been more, and then bam! It’s already done, just kidding! Like it was handed to me, and then abruptly torn out of my hands barely a few seconds later, after I’d anticipated an entire day alone with it.

           I hate this. I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m disappointed. I had so much wonder and joy that this was only the beginning, but now it’s actually the ending! I had so much to look forward to, so much promised- And this show was doing well! It was SUCCESSFUL, Lumity brought a HUGE influx of popularity, and you know what? The show deserves that! 

          Not just for being good in general, but also- This is SUCH a huge step forward in representation, especially given how this is DISNEY of all channels… With Luz being a bisexual, ADHD, character of color! Amity fully being a lesbian ON-SCREEN, no censors, nothing held back, her crush treated and fully indulged the way a straight person’s would’ve been!

           The Owl House deserves so much for just that alone. So much attention, and it got attention, it was arguably at a peak because now so much fans are tuning in… And Disney, those paradoxical cowards, they decide to end it early!? I’m angry. I’m frustrated, I’m sad, I was told to expect more, to just enjoy myself in the moment, but now I have to readjust my sense and perception of everything in anticipation of a sudden end.

          And I’m sure that’s what Dana and the crew have to do as well, they were so excited, no doubt planting things in Season 2A to be resolved later in Season 3… But nope, now they have to rush it through and finish it in Season 2B, along with everything else they had planned! And they might have to cut out stuff from Season 2B, to make room for the ending of those pre-established arcs!

           It’s frustrating and clumsy and sudden, and it just… ANGERS ME! It makes me genuinely mad and frustrated, like I want to punch a wall… And I hate it! And a part of me hopes and wishes that if the fans really DO give enough of a backlash and demand, maybe Disney will change its mind. 

          If we say enough, ASAP, then maybe Disney will delay Season 2B so that Season 3 can be extended back to its proper length, allowing Dana and the crew to redo Season 2B as they originally intended. I’d be fine with waiting additional time, as much as the crew needs, to redo Season 2B with the understanding that they have that full third season back!

           I’d GLADLY, happily, let the crew take their time to redo Season 2B to its original glory and plans, to better set up a full Season 3! I’d let them take their time, I wouldn’t complain at all, I’d still watch! So Disney, go ahead, change your plans abruptly AGAIN, it’s not like you have no qualms screwing over this show or other content creators with this kind of back-and-forth, look at Matt Braly having to contend with True Colors being delayed and almost censored, only for the whole thing to be useless because the original episode was leaked anyway! He had to rush out the Season 3 intro, I’m betting this RIGHT now!

           But even if it was delayed, even if it was released early… It doesn’t change the actual show itself. It doesn’t change the actual story, just how it was presented- But the story itself, it remains intact. The Owl House doesn’t even get that. Brevity can be the soul of wit, but if you’re suddenly told out of nowhere to chop it down, it’s not gonna be the soul of anything. 

          It’s just… SO UNFAIR, and it makes me genuinely pissed off. Like, I could handle True Colors being delayed by the end of the day, because the show is otherwise the exact same- But TOH being so drastically reduced, abruptly shortened, I think that’s honestly objectively worse… So I braced myself for and adapted to one bad thing, and then got another thing even MORE terrible! Much more terrible, in fact- Amazing.

           I’m just… Tired and frustrated. Like it feels like I had this happy thing in my life and it was taken away from me, I can’t even have that, I can’t have the hope and anticipation for more, that’s it! It’s already done and gone! I knew I’d have to prepare for that eventually, but in a manner that felt fleshed-out and well-rounded, like I’d really had my time to enjoy and appreciate… But just kidding! It’s like a punch in the face, and it makes me honestly depressed and sad, and I kind of don’t know what to do besides… Ask for more, and hope?

          A part of me feels like the investment, the enjoyment, was lowkey all for nothing, meaningless and worthless, now that so much was cut down- And obviously it IS worth it, it always is! But in the moment of despair, I’m asking… Is that it? It was all for nothing, then… All that effort. All of that speculation and enjoyment and anticipation. 

          All you had look forward to, all of that emotion you put in- So much of it is going to be left unresolved because how the show was so enormously cut down. And now it makes me hesitant to invest in other shows, I’m afraid, in case they get cut down like this, in case my attention is punished and deprived for engaging with the material like that to begin with.

           As a viewer and someone who loves and enjoys media, I feel like there’s a trust that’s being breached, I can’t really rely or depend on things I enjoy to last or stay there, so why bother getting invested? Why put in the effort for fandom and content if it’s going to be gone like THAT, if all plans are thrown out the window, and all attention and feedback is meaningless! 

          What’s the point of showing that you love this, of expressing yourself, if you’re going to get even LESS than what you’d cautiously hoped for? Why hope at all? There’s this bitterness left inside of me, that you shouldn’t have bothered enjoying or getting invested, or pouring yourself into this, because in the end you weren’t going to get anything close to that.

           Which, fan content is ALWAYS valid! But it’s usually done to expand on stuff that’s already there… But if there was nothing there because it got pulled last second, then why bother? Why enjoy if it’s so brief? Why invest if the conclusion is so sudden and out of nowhere? Why care at all? And I know that shouldn’t change how I feel… 

          But with Infinity Train and Amphibia, I guess I really can’t count on anything, not even the mutual solidarity of numbers, to change a thing. So why hope for and ask for more and better? Why even enjoy what I have, knowing it’ll be cut off by itself in the future because the planned arcs were forcibly dropped? I can’t enjoy an episode as part of a larger story now, just a shorter one, and now there’s this pressure.

           Pressure, that’s it- A pressure on the show. A pressure on the writers and audience. To suddenly cram in and make the most of this time. Pressure on every Season 2 episode to go above and beyond to make up for the almost complete and utter lack of Season 3; Season 2 will practically have to carry the weight of TWO seasons on its back, two condensed into one! And it just… There’s so much pressure. No time to breathe or enjoy myself or relax, because now it’s all suddenly ending and fleeting in front of my eyes when I hadn’t done that, and now I go back and yell “Come back!” 

          I wish I’d enjoyed it more knowing it was already ending, but it’s too late. I wish I could’ve done something, but what could I have done? And I really did try to appreciate and cherish this to my ability, but I did so expecting more, as I should’ve- And now it feels I didn’t do enough. I feel cheated. Like the rug was pulled under me, that my effort was rendered naught and never enough no matter how hard I tried, the game is rigged.

           I’m frantic. I’m paranoid. I’m already having to say goodbye and brace myself for the end, when I expected at least another full year to unapologetically not have to worry about that, to just be in my zone and be myself and ENJOY… To not have to worry existentially like that. I can’t have that peace, I can’t have that longing, lasting fun. 

          I knew it’d come to an end, but now I can’t have the time to properly enjoy and relax and appreciate it, to truly live it out meaningfully and deliberately… I’m going to have to laser-focus now and put aside other things, because this thing is NOW and won’t last, unlike the rest; And in a way, that kind of rush and pressure, it just ends up paradoxically making the whole thing LESS fun, even!

          So in my attempts to appreciate and enjoy it more, I enjoy it less. It’s like a punch in the face in direct retaliation for getting invested and attached, for actually being connected to the story. I’m being punished for enjoying, for letting myself feel, so why ever bother with that, ever again? Why should I get attached? I’m just punished for that, so I won’t bother. I won’t put myself out there so even if it DOES see itself through, I won’t have been there for it from justified paranoia, and then I’ll miss out when it IS there. Like I can’t win, no matter what- So why participate?

          It doesn’t matter, it’s all useless. “It makes me happy”, well, maybe that’s no longer even a reason to do and make and enjoy things anymore, huh! And now I’m just… Bitterly putting it aside. Feeling like I should’ve known better, that at least I’m being more ‘mature’. I feel like Luz in the first episode, throwing her book away, her prized hyperfixation that invigorated and brought so much meaning to her… I feel like Luz, just almost apathetically, in resignation, throwing it into the trash while someone smiles and tells me it’s okay and good and I SHOULD have done that, actually!

           It’s making me tired and exhausted. I didn’t want to have to suddenly feel and deliberate over all of this, all at once, right now- But I feel I’d regret it even more if I DIDN’T do that, and then it ended, and the time and moment, the opportunity, it passed! It’s a frantic dread and paranoia that means I can’t appreciate and enjoy properly, because every little thing I so desperately claw at and prize and treasure, but also I keep telling myself not to get my hopes up, and…

          It lowkey makes me want to curl up and cry? And sob, because now that insecurity, that voice in the back of my head, it was RIGHT, I really should’ve listened to it to begin with, and not ever bothered! Don’t risk the trust in connecting with someone else’s story that’s still in process, only ever engage with stuff fully finished. 

          I can never enjoy that anticipation and hope now, of being along the ride for the journey, of just getting to look out the window and wonder; Not knowing the ending, but looking forward to it! And I can’t do that anymore, not when I’m afraid of the trip suddenly grinding to a screeching halt out of nowhere!

           But yeah, I’m just… I…

           …I’m sad. I’m angry, and now I’m sad. Depressed, outright, directly because of this, when otherwise I wouldn’t have been- And that’s painful and frustrating and makes me feel like I’m being tossed around a whirlwind, with no hope. No say or agency, just a constant bad hand I have to brace myself for. So all I can do is curl up and lie down and hope for the worst to be over, and never dare to be so ungrateful or greedy to ask or hope for more, for good things, just for the bad things to lessen or stop.

          In the end, it didn’t even matter, so I should just throw it all away, never try again; And everything I did beforehand, up until then, I’ll look back at it all, those fond and innocent memories, and I’ll look back with an eternal bitterness that will forever corrupt and scar those recollections. So even the past, which allegedly can never change, is ruined for me! The past never gets better, it only gets worse, so WHY… Why believe and hope, and love and live???

          I’m just a stupid fool for being so invested in this cartoon, in fiction, why don’t I just GROW UP and focus on REAL things that matter, huh?!? I really do feel like Luz genuinely thinking and resigning herself to the Reality Check camp, having that childlike passion and joy just whittled down and strangled, feeling it die out; Knowing it will, so just getting it over with and killing it now, before I have to mourn later.

          I shouldn’t ever put forth the trust in engaging with others’ stories, just my own because I at least have control there, I should just be alone and by myself with only my stories, and never get to connect with or experience companionship with others’ stories, ever again. Just build up my walls and hide and be alone and isolated as I’ve always been- It seems even with fiction or media, I’m STILL by myself! There’s an intimacy in reading and emotionally engaging with others’ stories, where other writers put a piece of themselves into that… Hoping others will read and respond and reciprocate, and feel the same!

           Well, maybe I shouldn’t put myself out there, either, in fears of being punished and cut off and whittled down like that! Why express myself, why be, why live? Why be invested into the soul of others, manifested in their own content, if it’ll never come to fruition, if my own soul will only hurt for connecting?! This is worse than a fave or a comfort character dying, because at least the integrity of the story itself remains and is worth it.

          There’s always the chance of a return or a revival or a flashback to appreciate, but THIS… This is real life. And it’s THE ending in the most abrupt and literal and tangible sense, of the media itself; An ending more powerful and harsh than any resolution to an arc. Because now NOTHING will ever be expected to come out from this, ever again- No new content, nothing else to enjoy. Media is like a fantasy, an escapism from real life, but even when I fully expected and accepted and saw the boundary and end between fantasy and reality… I still get punished with reality regardless! I can’t escape that real life because it WILL go out of its way to directly cut in and interfere, and ruin, what I love.

           So why escape? Why invested? Why love? Why should I ever feel comfort??? It’s all stupid. I’m stupid. Life is finite and it’s merely what’s directly in front of you, don’t dare to dream or imagine, or think or hope, just focus on what’s in front and get by and try to live… Or at least ‘survive’. Or ‘not die’, I guess.

          And now I resent real life even more for ruining this for me, when beforehand I could still like and appreciate it, even if I still needed some time away every now and then. So paradoxically, trying to get me to focus on real life, has made me detest it moreso! It’s that whole thing of don’t bother trying because you’ll just get punished for it, just passively wait and receive, don’t LIVE. Don’t stake initiative or agency.

          At least if a character dies, the universe and immersion is still intact, if not moreso because then you feel and become even MORE connected and get that emotional catharsis, everything up until then and after takes on a whole new meaning and appreciation; But if it ends in real life, the immersion is gone. The fantasy is permanently shattered, and now it’s all worthless in hindsight because you’re reminded that it was never real to begin with.

          And what little you DID get, is now ruined; And you’re not going to get anything else new, either! You can’t even KEEP things anymore… You’re just a bitter fool who’s going to get old and wither, look back, and become even MORE bitter and miserable. All of the emotion you felt, it’s been rendered worthless and meaningless, that connection once made… And I hate to see things ruined like that, so maybe don’t have things to begin with!

          I’m bitterly, enviously jealous of others who still manage to enjoy, because why are you still invested?! Why still keep trying, don’t you realize how pointless it is!? And now I’m just ruining that for them, I’m ruining THEM, in my own mind and heart and place in life. How can you still keep going!? So even that stuff they make, that fandom content that exists on its own more or less in a sense, even THAT is marred and ruined for me… And I feel like I’m internally ruining that for others, that makes me feel guilty as I loathe myself for being so awful, so why believe that I can be better? Why try to be better then?!

           I’m envious, because you guys still manage to cope and handle this in a realistic way, in a safe and mature manner. And anything others make, it’s just a cruel, cold reminder, a mockery even, of what I’ve lost, of my dashed and ruined hopes. And then I can’t bear to look at or even enjoy THAT, especially stuff made post-announcement, because you guys managed to keep making it anyway. And me, I didn’t, so what does that say about miserable old me? But then don’t make this about MYSELF…

          Seriously though, if you’re going to still enjoy and create, please do so! Don’t let this bitter fool stop you. Don’t let me hurt you. Just keep going out there and be yourself, me, I’ll… I’ll figure something out I guess? But yeah, that’s MY problem, not yours, those of you who keep creating anyway, you’re everything I admire and more! You’re all heroes in a sense, and I encourage and fully support you- If my ramblings make you hesitate or discourage you, then just throw them aside and disregard that! I’d never want to intrude or interrupt someone’s own expression, not when I mourn my own, that’s for sure!

           And y’know what? Other people who keep creating… You remind me that there IS hope. That there maybe is a point in going on and being invested, especially indie creators, because y’all have control and agency and take over what you make, and don’t have to depend or rely on, or fear, some gross corporation butting in and pulling the strings, threatening to revoke and take it all away! Thank you, I’m grateful, truly I am, I’m eternally indebted in a way I can never fully repay. Maybe I can try to make up for this by continuing to make my own things… So now this depressed, cynical rant, suddenly it takes a more hopeful turn as I write it, because of others!

           And now I’m thinking to myself… It IS worth it to connect. For those little moments of inspiration and joy and hope that others can instill. Thanks, you guys. Out of nowhere, you suddenly made it better for me, and kind of helped me overcome this depressive slump; And here I was, just thinking and resigning myself to the end! I guess it never really IS the end… And what I said about feeling like Luz, throwing away her beloved book and joy of her life? Well, she DID go back to grab that book, and in doing so, found love, found family, and happiness she couldn’t have anticipated beyond her wildest dreams!

           …Even so, wishful thinking aside, this has all been a whirlwind to me;

           I’m tired.

#the owl house #the owl house season 2 #toh #dana terrace #disney #disneytva #rant #vent #rant tw #vent tw #ramblings

[duhragonball]

For the Ask Game: Son Goku

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Goku is the main character in Dragon Ball Z, an anime that I have enjoyed tremendously for over 20 years.  He kicks aliens really fast and hard, and he eats wolves and bugs and clouds, and he’s very cool and good.   

That may sound kind of basic, maybe even borderline sarcastic, but I’m not sure how else to put it.    I’ve gotten so used to liking Goku that it’s hard to articulate why.   

Like, okay, you know that one episode during the Cell Games, where he’s gonna pick apples from his favorite apple tree?   And he does the special karate punch that makes the apples all fall out of the branches without really hurting the tree?    In the dub, he says to the tree “Ready for one more round, old timer?”  Or something like that, and then after he hits it, he’s like “See?  That didn’t hurt a bit.”  I’m not getting the lines right, but you get the idea.    That’s some choice Goku right there.    He’s friends with that tree!   

Why I don’t: hE gAvE mOrO a SeNzU bEaN-- ha ha just kidding, but can you imagine not liking Goku?   Because of something he did in some horseshit fancomic that doesn’t even count?

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of guff from people about Goku showing mercy to his enemies.   This is humorous to me, because I’d bet you dollars to donuts that they’re fans of Vegeta and/or Piccolo, and that only happened because Goku decided to have mercy on their stank asses.    “Well I like Vegeta because he kills people.”  He only gets to do that because Goku allowed him to live.    Best Green Dad doesn’t happen without Goku, period, end of sentence, new paragraph.   

I’m not a lore expert like that guy on Twitter who only watched DBZ Abridged, but here’s some cool trivia for you: Cell could have self-destructed and destroyed the Earth at any time.    It literally does not matter that Goku gave Cell a senzu bean before Gohan fought him, because Cell would have done the same thing no matter who beat him or how.     If Gohan had wiped him out quickly, that nucleus would have survived and regenerated, and he would come back even stronger.   The senzu bean just delayed the inevitable outcome, and not even by that much, because Cell wasn’t that worn out in the first place.   The whole thing with the senzu bean was Goku playing headgames with Cell and no one seems to understand that but me.   

But what about Moro, you ask?   Hey, come here.  

Closer.    No, closer.   

Listen to me.   I love you, okay?    But the Dragon Ball Super manga isn’t canon.   Hating Goku over something he did in Super is like hating Superman for something he did in a Mad Magazine bit.      

“Blargle blargle he doesn’t kiss his wife bad father, tournament of power--” I super mega don’t care about any of these ice cold takes.      Every day I go on YouTube and it recommends me the dirt worst Star Wars commentary videos.   “Maybe the SITH were actually the GOOD GUYS and the JEDI were the BAD GUYS!  Huh?  Did I just BLOW your MIND?   Be sure to like and subscribe!”  Every dope with a keyboard seems to think they can flip the script and pretend they’re some kind of genius.    “Thanos was right!”  “Magneto was right!” “Dr. Doom was right!” “Antifa are the real fascists when you stop and think about it!”  “Masks and vaccines are bullshit, COVID-19 is a hoax, but if it were real, maybe it’s the good guy in this situation!”

I didn’t mean to go off on a rant here, but the whole point of Goku is that he’s a pretty cool guy, and the hero of his particular adventure, and you see all these people trying to outsmart that somehow, like it’s not the premise of the character.   It’s like all those fan theories about how every show is really one character having a coma dream in the hospital.    It’s fake-deep, like when Will Smith’s kid goes on the internet and says something like “Water isn’t wet when you stop and think about it.”  

I’m not saying everyone has to like Goku, but I don’t get the hate-boner people have for him.    I don’t like cole slaw, it’s soggy and insipid and I don’t understand it, but I don’t go around trying to convince people it’s not made out of cabbage.  

Anyway, Goku’s awesome. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): It’s hard to choose, but DBZ #248 always fucks me up.   I looked it up in my liveblog archive to get the episode number right, and the first line of that post: This one always fucks me up.

Moving on.

Favorite season/movie: In Dragon Ball terms, I guess this refers to the sagas, so I’ll go with Cell Games.    Goku goes into the battle with this flawed, touch-and-go plan, and it works.    He defeats perfection with imperfection, and it’s glorious.  

Favorite line: “What I represent can never be destroyed,” is one of the most metal lines ever uttered, anywhere.   It’s a threat and a moral lesson all in one.   

Favorite outfit: Two answers for this one.  

Shu’s outfit in the Fortuneteller Baba Saga was awesome.    I used to wear yellow T-shirts to work, so when I put on my blue labcoat I would see myself in the restroom mirror and think: yeaaaaahhhhhh.

I’m also big into Goku’s look during the Cell Games, classic orange outfit, blue shirt, with the Super Saiyan form ready to go.    That may sound obvious, since this is kind of Goku’s default look, but it takes a while to get all of this together.  For me, it was a big deal to see Goku in action as a Super Saiyan in his standard fighting gear, because the whole time he was SSJ on Namek his shirt was ruined.   Against Gero and 19 he was sick, but starting with the Cell Games, we get him fresh as a daisy, and it’s worth the wait.   Harder to stealth cosplay, though.

OTP: Gochi.   Come on.    I don’t even care that much about ships, but they’re adorable on the show, and the internet backlash against Gochi only intensifies my defiance.   

Brotp: I wrote a fanfic with Goku and Yamcha just joyriding in the desert, and that seemed pretty awesome, so maybe we need more of that.   

I dunno, maybe I’m giving this to Bulma.   They don’t get a ton of screen time together after a certain point in the show, but the bond between them is this really sublime thing.    In the same fanfic, I wrote Bulma and Goku interacting, and that was just a pleasure to write.

Head Canon: I think Goku being an alien orphan matters more to him than he lets on.   Early on, he knew he had parents but he didn’t know why they left him in the woods.   Pretty much every interaction he has with the outside world is about him being different.   Then he finds out he’s a Saiyan and all the Saiyans hate him for being weak and sentimental and so on.   He can kick all their asses, but that doesn’t make him any less of an outcast.   

I think becoming a Super Saiyan is a bigger deal to him than he lets on.   That moment kind of serves as this unspoken proof that there’s more to being a “true” Saiyan than Vegeta, Nappa, and Raditz ever knew.   That maybe, if his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great granny could see him, she might approve.

Unpopular opinion:

Yukio Ebisawa is underrated. 

A wish: I always wanted to see Goku style on Broly ‘93.   It seemed unfair to me that they kept bringing Broly back, and even teased a rematch with Goku in Movie 11, only to not deliver on it.    I wanted Goku to turn Super Saiyan 2 and Broly’d be all “oh noes!” and Goku would look at him and be all “Yeah.   What now, bitch?    That green shit won’t cut it anymore.”

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I think my darkest fear about the Dragon Ball franchise is that it’ll get bastardized like Superman, where some giant multimedia corporation owns it, has no idea how to tell new stories with it, and refuses to let it lapse into the public domain.   I have no idea how public domain works in Japan, but “Disney Toei’s Dragon Ball KH” doesn’t sit well with me.    Hopefully I’ll be dead by the time that happens.  

Like, Rise of Skywalker wasn’t that bad.   But it did lead me to worry that they really have no idea how to make Star Wars work.    They got it right enough, but the part where Rose is going to stay and guard the base or whatever, it just made me realize they’re only guessing, and they just happen to guess right often enough to succeed.   And it’s not like you can jump over to some other studio and see how they handle a Star Wars movie.

5 words to best describe them: Ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.

My nickname for them: Geeko.    Ha ha, just kidding.  

#dragon ball #ask duhragonball #goku #son goku #jcogginsa

[asterekmess]

S3A - E7

So, I’m starting this episode right after finishing the last one, and I’m still kinda riled up from that bullshit. Let’s get to pissing me off and breaking my heart then. Blood/gore mention warnings for this episode.

Exercise your eyes! Read More!

Let’s just jump right in:

Starting right off with forcing myself into putting the tag in. Scott literally just listened to his mother say that giving this woman something to lessen the pain of her injuries could complicate things and make it harder to treat her. This is like an important medical thing. While yes, it’s really upsetting that she would need to keep being in pain, she needs to be able to identify and explain what exactly she’s feeling to the doctor who is going to be arrive really soon (though I have no idea why the nurses aren’t able to get these people set up. That’s what they did with me? I didn’t see a doctor for like an hour, but they didn’t make me sit in the fucking waiting room before dealing with the blood.) Her pain level will have a direct effect on how quickly she’s seen. This moment is meant to show Scott being soft-hearted, but with the doctor only ten minutes away, he could literally be making this woman’s life a whole lot worse by taking away her pain right now. There is a reason why after I was given pain killers for my surgery I wasn’t allowed to be near any heavy objects. Her pain is keeping her from irritating her wound. She could fuck herself up if she stops responding to the signals her body is trying to send her. This is not the right way to make Scott look kind. He looks like an idiot who doesn’t even listen to his nurse mom.

WHo the FUCK would keep driving with a bunch of bugs in the car? She’s not even on the interstate! PULL OVER IDIOT.

I’m actually agreeing with Scott on this one. I have no idea how medically accurate what melissa just did was, but it look pretty damn cool.

WHat the hell is this conversation? First off, Ethan, you made VERY clear in the last episode that you want to bite Danny even after he said no. Even if that was the possession talking, it was based on what YOU wanted. Danny’s not safe with you. Second, what is this bullshit about knowing Lydia is the important one? Important to Stiles and ALlison maybe. Scott literally never talks to Lydia. THIRD how exactly did you guys come up with that idea when you went after them on the FIRST DAY? You sniff him on them? cus’ if so your noses are damaged.

what...what is with this ghost car shit? She was in the middle of the city, more than ten minutes away from the hospital and behind the traffic caused by the ten car pileup. How did the car drive itself ALL THE WAY here?

Ethan. you’re an alpha. you have night vision. You shouldn’t need to ask what the fucking MOTH in the middle of the driver’s seat is.

HI NOAH! I’ll be honest. I missed you. You’re a really good actor and you just make me feel all safe. WHich is weird bc I hate father figures and I hate cops. Linden Ashby is just too good, I guess.

It’s so frustrating watching Deucalion walk around with humans pretending to be blind. Because he is. He is Pretending to be blind. He’s already proved like a dozen times that he can see just fine when he turns on the Alpha eyes. Which doesn’t make SENSE because Deaton said his iris’ were permanently damaged. He doesn’t have two different sets of eyes! And it sucks, bc they put in these little things that it would’ve been awesome to see if they included an actual blind person properly. The casual use of the cane, taking someone’s elbow and the trust that implies, and even this. Having (that looks like ethan’s coat) Ethan explain what’s in front of Deucalion, describing the scene to him.

DEREK YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM SUCKS. HOW DID THEY DO THAT WITHOUT YOU WAKING UP? WITHOUT CORA NOTICING?

Also, Cora, you look amazing, can you please be my friend and can I hug you? I love your shirt.

I HATE THIS BITCH. Fuck you Julia.

uhh....why is an English teacher filling in for a chemistry/geometry teacher? That’s not how substitutes work. Making a joke out of it doesn’t make it make any more sense. SHe shouldn’t be doing that, especially if Harris has been missing for a while.

So your office can keep werewolves out, but not darach? Okay, let me go full conspiracy theorist here. we only know Deaton saw the moths because we see it. He just tells Scott that he’s going to be taken. This is a story that Scott is telling, so he couldn’t know that deaton saw the moths unless deaton told him. Julia is currently teaching a class. Are you seriously saying she doesn’t need to be involved at all in order to do these kidnappings? She can just put them on a timer and let the autmoatic spellwork do the job for her? OR Is deaton lying about being taken, and this is just a test he came up with to force Scott’s “True Alpha”ness to the surface? JUlia clearly had other plans for her sacrifice. I don’t think Deaton was a ‘distraction’ to keep Scott from finding the actual sacrifice. I think it was Deaton using the situation to his advantage.

why does deaton have a canine acupressure chart on his wall? I’ve never seen a vet’s office have that. Does he do alternative medicine for dogs??

BOYD. ISAAC. MY BOYS. I can’t tell you how much I love this. It’s so sneaky and annoying and so pack-ish I just love it so much.

BOYD YOU ARE A GENIUS BOY AND I LOVE YOU.

I swear, like ninety percent of what the ‘adults’ in this show say is ‘go back to school.’ ‘shouldn’t you be in school’ yadda yadda. Like, they want so badly to write the teens as though they never have to go to class, so they just make them constantly skip and ignore that these are fucking teenagers who would never be able to get out of school that easily, and they handwave it with someone occasionally going ‘hmm, weird that they aren’t in school’ and then just ignoring it? Truancy is like a THING that you can get in major trouble for. At least Boyd and Isaac called in sick. You know how you could have avoided all this class bullshit? PUT THE FUCKING SEASON DURING THE SUMMERTIME DUMBASSES.

It just hurts seeing Stiles beg for Scott not to make him tell his dad, and then turn right around and admit that it’s not okay for him to let other people suffer just because it scares him that he might lose his only parent. Like, he walks into that sacrifice with eyes wide fucking open and it hurts.

I’m not talking about these dumb sex scenes anymore. I’m so tired of them.

OKay, can we talk about the fire alarm thing though? It sounds like a jokey kind of thing with Aiden teasing Lydia about wanting to leave during the fire alarm but... Remember how Lydia was haunted by Peter’s burnt corpse? How she can hear the cries of the dead, and how she went wandering into the crumbling remains of the Hale house? There’s every chance that Lydia remembers the fire through Peter’s eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was forever freaked by fire alarms.

Man, Cora and Lydia, together? The sass involved? If I didn’t ship Allydia so hard, I’d totally ship Cora and Lydia.

ONce again, I wanna point out that AIDEN IS A MURDERER. Literally all it would take is someone Explaining to Lydia that he is serial killer and she’d never touch him again.

Cora and Stiles together? I’m loving it. I just, wanna point out that when Scott showed up Cora couldn’t have given less of a shit. But here....Cora doesn’t remotely question Stiles’ authority here. She immediately goes along with it and when he tells her to let go of Cora she does. Even though she has no real reason to. When she asks about the spirit board, it’s a legit question and she doesn’t argue or make fun.

PLus there’s the whole ‘Well do you know any spirits” which straight up just confirms for me that ghosts and shit are real in this universe. I trust the Hales as lore sources and Cora’s matter-of-fact tone is good enough for me.

jesus christ i wanna get deucalion and Peter in a room together and watch them just...monologue random facts and trivia at each other endlessly. “Lacrosse was originally played by Native Americans.” “Do you know what a metronome is?” Guys. come on.

Exasperated Stiles is literally my favorite Stiles. “We’re trying to save lives here for the love of god” “YOU”RE SOMETHING, OKay? JUST put out your Hand” It’s so fucking good.

Someone EXPLAIN TO ME how Scott learned to do fucking gymnastics. WHEN DID HE LEARN THIS? I hate this bullshit “I’m a werewolf, so I can do anything” shit. Especially since it’s LITERALLY just Scott they let do it. Everyone else has to actually do the work to learn it.

So...how exactly does Deucalion know where Deaton is? This literally just supports my theory that Deaton set the whole thing up.

ALSO, since I already have the tag I feel no shame in pointing out that Scott didn’t even HESITATE when he learned Derek was going to die. He immediately asked about Deaton. Yeah yeah, Deaton is a father figure to him, but if that’s an acceptable excuse for Scott to use now, then it should count as an acceptable one when it’s STILES” FATHER BEING THREATENED (but I digress, we’re not there yet.)

How did I never notice that Lydia’s Left handed?

andd.....how did Lydia know that? How did Scott know that? What did Deucalion say that even remotely hints at Danny? Scott doesn’t know about Danny’s paper...what?

Fuck yeah, vengeful Boyd. I dig it.

uh....why couldn’t allison just stand next to Scott in the closet. you know, like she did while he was getting in? Also, why was Allison hiding with him anyway? It’s HER HOUSE and HER BEDROOM.

um....okay, i know that we all like the sterek fics where they have to hide in the closet and one of them pops a boner...but I’mma be real, it’s a lot more uncomfortable when I know she broke up with Scott and they’ve been in there for like ten seconds. Plus there’s the whole knowing that she DEFINITELY has enough room to move away and so does he. *shrug*

Side note: Allison where the fuck do you get these clothes? THey’re both awesome and...kinda weird? Did you buy that dress in france?

okay, i’ll admit it, i do actually kinda like the camera angle through the map, with the blacklight lighting up the symbols (though the symbols flash on and off a little too fast). It’s kinda cool.

uh, how would taking the picture help? You don’t have the blacklight over it? None of the markings are visible anymore

why does Chris keep walking in and out? AND WHY DIDN”T ALLISON DO THAT THE FIRST TIME?

Stiles in plaid and Converse? Yes. Yes. please. That’s so my aesthetic I’m so fucking jealous. He looks COMFY.

This whole interaction is just so fucking weird XD

But like, why would Stiles know to go through Danny’s stuff instead of just asking him why he might’ve been targeted??

HOW WOULD THEY KNOW TO CUT THE POWER? THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Why does the ALpha pack keep showing up with way more information than they should have? It’s so annoying! It’s one thing if Morrell is feeding them information, but she wouldn’t have KNOWN about this! This was a good plan and there’s NO REASON the Alphas should’ve known what Boyd, Isaac, and Derek were doing! What the fuck?

....god i love Derek’s red eyes.

....god i hate that I know where this is going.

....god i wish he’d just let them tear her apart.

I know that it’s meant to be setting up the cora/stiles thing, but I love that she doesn’t hesitate to touch him, and that when she stops him it’s with a very quiet “stop.” She’s really gentle with him, which is just fucking nice. Werewolves taking care to be gentle with Stiles is like...nice.

Since when did Scott know about the plan with Boyd and Isaac? Since when did Stiles know? Is Boyd seriously texting Cora while Derek and Kali are fighting, or did he text her as soon as the power was cut?

is this the first time we see a werewolf bounce off the mountain ash? I mean, I think so, but we also see Peter in S1 try to get past some. There’s no glowing when he comes into contact with the shield. It’s the same with Isaac and Erica in s2. I mean...I guess they’re just trying to upgrade the ash stuff? I gotta say though, I kinda prefered when there were no special effects. It seemed cooler when literally the only thing making it work was belief and having this totally invisible barrier that Peter couldn’t cross. It was cool.

....i think i’m procrastinating seeing the end of this fight. I’m gonna fucking cry.

Why...why does Isaac turn and yell ‘wait’ to Boyd when he was the one running forward to Julia? I am confusion.

Dude, if Alphas could break through mountain ash barriers then Talia Hale WOULDN”T HAVE DIED. THE HALE PACK WOULDn’T HAVE DIED.

I wanna point out here, that this fight between Derek and Kali makes sense for once. Him losing makes sense. We know that the Alphas are much older than they look, or at least Kali, Deucalion and Ennis were. Aiden and Ethan don’t show up in that flashback. ANyway, Kali’s probably in her thirties or forties. SHe’s much older than Derek and she’s been fighting for a lot longer, not to mention fighting to kill.

Seriously, someone get my boy a quarterstaff to knock her feet away.

I really really don’t understand this stuff. Why is it whenever people (I mean Derek, because it’s literally always Derek) get forced to use their werewolf claws/teeth (because again I cannot believe this is happening more than once) he for some reason can’t just...shift back? Retract his claws and fangs? Derek has amazing control, he should totally have been able to do it. With the venom it made sense, he was paralyzed. But now??

What exactly was the fucking point of having Scott break the mountain ash barrier, just to have the sheriff show up and shoot Deaton down? That was literally useless.

also, Noah is an amazing shot. Hot damn.

ALSO. LIterally all this info about true alphas is being whispered to Scott when he’s all alone? How the fuck am i supposed to trust that deaton even ever said that shit to Scott? He could totally be lying about it.

WHAT KIND OF TOTAL BULLSHIT BACKWARDS ASS PLOTLINE IS THIS? After half the season being about Deucalion attacking Derek and trying to get him into the pack, suddenly “Deucalion isn’t after Derek, he’s after you” WHAT? THat’s the STUPIDEST LAZIEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN.

and to end my rant BOYD SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PETER STUCK HIS ENTIRE HAND THROUGH DEREK”S CHEST IN SEASON 1 WHIL IN HIS ALPHA FORM AND THREW HIM INTO A WALL AND DEREK SURVIVED JUST FINE. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE???

Final Thoughts: No. No, no, no no, no, and no. The ‘plotline’ of this episode is literally like fifteen things that have nothing to do with each other.

Admittedly, there were a few nice moments. Cora, Lydia, and Stiles was an awesome trio. Boyd, Isaac, and Derek was an awesome trio. The sheriff? Amazing. Melissa? A fucking hero. Danny, a genius saint.

All in all, I’m going to tear this episode to shreds in order to rewrite it. Get fucked, Davis.

#personal #anti-scott mccall #TeenWolf-Rewatch

[t100ficrecsblog]

an interview with @easilydistractedbyfanfic (she/they)

what are you working on right now? I don’t typically take prompts, but after finding out about the Bellarke Writers For BLM Initiative and how their goal is to raise money for BLM via various fandom prompts that are requested by readers and written & illustrated by various writers and artists, I wanted to get involved. I’ve finished two prompts and am working on my third, which is a Murphy/Raven smutfic set during their years on the Ring. It’s definitely an idea I can work with - it’s over 10k at this point with a lot more to say, so hopefully the anon who requested it will end up pleased! Go check out the tumblr page and the ao3 collection - there’s various t100 pairings/ratings and you can choose the cause if you want to request a fic!

what is the fanwork you’re most proud of? I struggled with this question! My stories are all like my kids, and even if some of them could use a bit of improvement with pacing or dialogue or whatever faults I see when they age, ultimately I do love them all and I’m glad I wrote them. I do sometimes play favorites but that often depends on what I’m in the mood to read myself. That said, I really do always feel proud of my story called What You Need. It’s a darker version of Raven & Murphy, but one that I don’t find unrealistic under the circumstances of the fic. I surprised myself with where my head went on this one. In a good way, because it was really fascinating to dive into the minds of who these particular versions of the characters were. 

I’m also pleased that I have over 500k on ao3 at this point. I never expected anything like this when I started writing, and it kind of blows my mind that this is my hobby now. It’s so strange to me that there are stories in my head at any given moment now.

why did you first start writing fic? I started writing in June 2018. Never wrote any fanfic before that, ever - though I did read plenty! I wrote three stories super fast, posted them all on ao3 on the same day and haven’t looked back. I think I started writing out of a combination of just really needing more content for my faves, but also I wasn’t in fandom before s5 and was quite desperate after s4 to talk to other people about Raven & Murphy. So I needed to get the stories out but also I had this hope that it would invite conversation when I didn’t know anyone in fandom.

what frustrates you most about fic writing? Just because I want to write doesn’t mean I can. Having prompts on my plate right now, I feel a real responsibility to finish them, but even when I carve time out to write, sometimes the words just don’t feel right. The muse doesn’t always strike when I have the time available. Also, it’s super ridiculously important to me that scenes and dialogue FEEL right based on the characterization I have in my head in any particular story. I can look at a scene I’ve written, especially an emotional one, and sometimes it’s just not resonating with me the way I know it could or should. It’s tough not to just push through and post it as-is, but I know that would never satisfy me, even if it means a much longer turn-around time on a story or chapter update. Often I will find that I get an a-ha moment that cracks open a better understanding of why a scene isn’t working for me, but this can take time and I have to trust in this process.

Not to preach, but it’s also frustrating when something you spend a lot of time and effort on doesn’t get much in the way of comments. I see posting fic on ao3 as a sort of conversation, so when there’s mostly silence even as the hits (and hopefully kudos) tick upwards, it can feel really...disheartening to feel like you’re talking into a void. And I say this as someone who has been fortunate enough to have regular readers who DO give feedback! I think every writer understands that they need to write for themselves first and foremost, but I wish more readers understood that feedback and enthusiasm will absolutely result in MORE CONTENT! I try very hard to follow this guideline myself by supporting and commenting on everything I read as time permits.

what are your top five songs right now? I listen to a huge mix of songs & my childhood influenced me a lot. 

Some floating in my head include - 

Chris Cornell’s live cover of Nothing Compares 2U Indigo Girls - Romeo & Juliet The Decemberists - Once In My Life Tori Amos - Silent All These Years The Chicks - March March 

what are your inspirations (books, songs, other fic)? I find inspiration in a lot of things, which I think is lucky. One of my biggest is the characters themselves. I love getting deep into understanding who I think they are, what their motivations are and why they’d make certain decisions, whether in canon or in an AU. What parts of their personalities do they keep when they aren’t tortured and under trauma on the regular? What would happen if I change this one scenario in their lives? I could probably go on forever just based on these sorts of thoughts, but I do also find inspiration in simple things like tropes, or song lyrics and the lore of the show itself. Quite a lot of my ideas in my inspiration notebook have sci-fi themes too. A few of my stories have already touched on sci-fi topics, and I absolutely plan more of them because I love how creative that can be. I also love the idea of suspended belief - can I have sentient plant life from an alien planet that can mindread & communicate by projecting thoughts into characters' heads? Yes, yes I can! (I wrote this story, fyi - Flora Incognita, part of a series) 

what attracts you to Murven? what first attracted you? Hey, do you have all day? Ha! Seriously, I could talk about this until everyone wants to strangle me! I loved Raven immediately - not so much Murphy! But I really disliked Finn, so ep 1x10 when Raven finally broke up with him had me interested. In that ep, you can see that Murphy is present, awake & nearby in the Dropship and probably overhears everything Raven says. Then he gets up and looks at her to make sure she’s still sleeping before he carries out his revenge plans. I’m not kidding - that one look absolutely and completely hooked me! Murphy was still awful then but he was so much more interesting than Finn, and back then I remember thinking how I’d really like to see them interact as two stubborn, strong personalities, because no doubt sparks would fly. And then when they did interact more, their dynamic was exactly what I’d hoped for and then some! 

I love that they’ve seen each other at their worst and at their weakest and most vulnerable, yet they’ve built a strong foundation of trust, faith and understanding. They have so much in common but they’re also different sides of the coin in some ways too. Fandom talks about Bellarke being the head & the heart, but to me Raven and Murphy are the intellect & the instinct - they complement each other, provide some of the qualities that the other needs, their differences improve each other. For me, nobody gets Raven like Murphy & nobody understands Murphy like Raven. Maybe not a lot of people notice, but Raven & Murphy check in with each other a lot - Raven tends to say “I got this” but Murphy is the only person who replies to her “Do you?”. And Raven listens to Murphy’s ideas and suggestions and plans even when she’s known as the genius because she knows that he has valuable things to say. They have fun together, make each other smile and enjoy each other’s company, which is in such short supply in this show! 

I know there’s parts of fandom that don’t ship them because Murphy shot Raven in s1. I have a lot of thoughts on it and have had quite a few tumblr posts about it. This is a fictional show - it does not reflect reality. I’ve been on the fringes of fandom for a long time and I know shipping doesn’t always mean yes, I want to see this relationship in real life. For me, I think it’s absolutely fascinating that someone Raven should hate has become one of her closest and most trusted friends. That she forgave him, and we as the audience get to see this dynamic change and grow, and that Murphy has always felt guilty about it even though he was being presented as selfish and out for himself - it’s such a huge, huge part of each of their character’s journeys. This is getting rather meta, but I don’t think either of these characters would have survived this long or evolved to the extent that they each have without specifically being around each other. 

And I absolutely can not discuss my love for Raven & Murphy without mentioning the whole way these two LOOK at each other! OMG have you SEEN it?!?? How could I not ship them when they look at each other like that! LOL! Also, I want to keep talking about this but I’ll stop now because I truly could go on forever and anyone who follows me already knows I’m wordy.

BESIDES Murven, what’s your favorite ship in t100? Honestly, nothing else comes close to Murven for me, but I did like Kabby before the show just eviscerated their characters. I like the possibilities of Niytavia still. I can see why people ship Murphamy in the earlier seasons. Definitely think Echo/Roan could’ve been something intriguing. And I’ve got this weird thing going right now where I wouldn’t hate Murphy/Russheda, but admittedly that’s mostly about the aesthetic! I tried really hard to like other partners for Raven & Murphy since they’ve always been my faves, but I’ve been meh about all the possibilities except Luna as a partner for Raven or as a Luna/Raven/Murphy threesome. At some point I might write that. Otherwise I’d say I tend to like the friendships more than the ships.

what are some things you’d like to recommend? I always hesitate to recommend other stories & authors because I can’t stand the idea of people feeling left out if I forget to mention them! But I would like to say that I really and truly love my fellow Murven shippers who read & support my stories and who create content like fic and art and gifs and fanvids. I find so much inspiration in them even though sometimes I can’t get through 30 seconds of a fanvid before I have to pause it because the angst is too much for me!

Since you’re kind enough to ask me this question and maybe a few people will read this answer, please - I recommend that everyone educate themselves on social justice and climate change and Black Lives Matter and capitalism and unions and what intersectionality & solidarity truly mean! Vote like your lives depend on it because THEY DO!

ed’s note: compiled a few resources -Rebel Well: A Starter Survival Guide to Trumped America -Jacob and Al’s Intergalactic Intersectionality Adventure -Get involved in your local chapter of DSA -Join Your Local Mutual Aid Group -Keeping Yourself Safe Online In This Capitalistic Hellscape -Angela Davis’ book Are Prisons Obsolete? -Resource about defunding the police

You can find @easilydistractedbyfanfic here on Tumblr, on Twitter, and on AO3. You can also a request a fic written by her via @bellarkefic-for-blm!

#bellarkefic4blm #raven reyes #john murphy #murven #murven fanfiction #bellarkefics for blm interview

[dnd4elove]

Light elves, dark elves and racism, my thoughts

Disclaimers: I’m basing most of this on 4E lore as that’s what we’re playing. I’m a white girl from Norway, so I’ll try and stay in my lane while talking about this topic.

Alright, so let’s talk about the main 3 elf races we have in 4E, I’ll not go into the more obscure sub-races today. There’s the fancy-pants, the hippies and the evil man hating ones.

The backstory goes something like this:

Long ago there was one united race of elves that lived in the Faywild. It was all good, the elves were chaotic, amazing and masters of magic, nature and interpersonal drama. They were ruled by 3 gods, Sehanine, Corellon and Araushnee. They also had a lot of drama between them, but everyone assumed it was all good natured. That was until Araushnee decided that things weren’t going her way and it would be better if she was the head of the gods and all the elves. She convinced some of the elven people to join her and together they tried to overthrow the remaining elves and gods.

It didn’t end well, they were defeated and Corellon, having the temper of a boiling tea-kettle, cursed the elves that had dared to rebel. It was a three-fold curse that drove them away from the light and they were named Drow after the elven word or trator.   Araushnee became their patron, taking on the name of Lolth after messing around with demons and moving to the Abyss. Anyway, the curse,  it went something like this:

They will never know peace

Their eyes will hurt in sunlight

Their skin will be dark

WAIT. What was that last one? YIKES 😬 How very Mormon. The goodly elves are light skin and the evil ones are dark. Doesn’t help that the drow originally had dark brown skin, at least they changed it to black/grey quickly enough.

The drow are one of the most popular races in D&D and with good reason, they have a sweet aesthetic and an interesting history and culture that is fun to explore as a drow player or an outsider. And whether you personally like them or not, I don’t think they’re going away any time soon.

Then there’s the Eladrin, it says that they can have human ranges of skin colours, but that they tend to light skin and that they always have straight hair. They are the high society, smart and fancy elves, the masters of intrigue and drama.

Lastly there’s the elves, the group that left the Faywild and settled in the natural world after the war. they became the woodsmen, tribal folk and druids. To the credit of the 4E creators, they did specify that elves tend to have brown skin, or specifically, brown hues. This is progress from previous editions where elves were specifically only light skinned (I blame Tolkien), but I feel it’s a bit um...on the nose...that the light skinned Eladrin are smart and educated ones and the brown skinned elves are the “noble savages” 

But even then, more or less all of the official art from WotC shows elves being light skinned or at least not darker then light brown. I even checked the 5E books, since they have been very good about diversity, but they seemed to be suffering from the same issues.

So here’s my re-interpretation or headcanon or homebrew or whatever of the story:

The original race of elves had all kinds of looks and skills and each individual could re-define themselves at-will in both looks, gender and identity (This is eluded to in other editions anyway).

The drow were changed to be colourless, not dark, that way we can still have that white on grey aesthetic we all love, but without the racism.

So here’s a superficial overview of how I imagine the elves in my settings:

Eladrin

The most colourful of the bunch, both in style and complexion. Many will say that they are the most similar to the original race, but that’s only partially true and only when it comes to looks. There is no reason that a race that could be anything, would not churn out members with dark skin or curly hair. Unless of course you think that light skin and straight hair is inherently more beautiful? I think their complexion would be colourful with hair-colours ranging from blonde to dark brown and red, sometimes even going into metallic colours like gold and copper, black hair being unusual, but not unheard of.

Eladrin who’s family is part of a seasonal court or who joins a court, tends to take on colours of that season.

Elves

Sometimes known as wood-elves, travelled to the natural world and settled as the guardians of nature and the spirit world. They took on the colours of the earth and forest, their skin colours ranging from a light tan to the colour of rich dark earth, some even have a bronze tinge to their skin. Their hair range from light brown to black, blonde being very rare and they are the only elves that can be born with natural green hair.

Drow

As mentioned before, the drow are colourless, they have white hair and grey skin ranging from light to ebony black, this also gives some variation to the most homogenous of the elven races. The most common eye colour is red, perhaps a symbol of Lolth’s gift of dark-vision (in truth it’s a hold-over from the old editions where everything with dark-vision had glowing red eyes).

I also imagine that drow are the elves that has the most sexual dimorphism, meaning that it’s easier to tell the difference between men and women because they put a lot emphasis on gender/sex unlike their elven and eladrin counterparts who prefer a more gender-neutral look and style, so that difference is brought on by sexual selection.

And while we’re at it, let’s kill the idea that drow are dressed skimpily and overly sexual. It’s problematic enough that the only major and official matriarchal society in D&D is super evil, let’s not equate female sexuality to evil on top of that, that’s a trope that needs to die in all of media. In fact if you live in a society where people regularly assassinate and poisons each other, you probably want more clothes...

This turned out longer then I was planning, so yeah, these are some of my thoughts on the subject, I hope I have explained myself well enough, I would love some feedback if you have it.

#D&D #D&D 4e #elves #eladrin #drow

[daleisgreat]

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Season Seven

-Finally, after three years of watching mostly one episode a week, I have finished my re-watch of all seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation (season seven trailer)! I am thrilled to present my final entry here chronicling my adventures with the crew of the Enterprise! For the final season I was able to slightly bump up my viewing habits and mostly stuck to watching two episodes a week, and thus I was able to make faster progress on this final season! Somehow, my horrendously outdated Samsung Galaxy S7 phone has managed to barely limp along this entire journey with me, and the gloriously awful pics featured throughout this article are courtesy of that wonderful device. -Season six wrapped with an enticing cliffhanger to “Descent” where Lore managed to work some sinister sorcery to recruit a squadron of Borg and hack into the code banks of Data (Brent Spiner) in order to recruit him to join his cause. Season seven had a great kickoff to resolve this new threat, and had a satisfying conclusion at putting an end to Lore once and for all. I would rank “Descent” on the higher end of TNG two-part arcs, as the Lore/Borg/Data combination proved to be an intriguing antagonist to see how they would be dealt with.

Picard is ready for combat on the left, while falling ill on the Enterprise leads to crew members tripping with some wild illusions on the right! -I was a little bummed to see a complete lack of appearances from Whoopi Goldberg in her role as Guinan in the final season. I am presuming it must have been scheduling conflicts as she has always been in high demand, especially around this time just a couple years after her Oscar win for Best Supporting Actress in Ghost. Whoopi would return as Guinan in two of the four Star Trek movies based on TNG cast.

-A pair of recurring characters that did return for their final episodes this season are Michelle Forbes as Ensign Lt. Ro Lauren and Wil Wheaton as Wesley Crusher. Ro is fresh off tactical training for an important undercover mission that conclusively decides her fate with Starfleet as she would never appear in another Star Trek series or film again after this. According to my research I was surprised to learn it took a last minute agreement with Forbes within a week before filming to get her to reprise her role as she was starting to distance herself from the brand after initial plans to make her a mainstay on Deep Space Nine fizzled. Wesley Crusher’s final appearance had a better payoff in “Journey’s End” where during a vision quest he finally is deemed ready by a previous guest character, The Traveler (Eric Menyuk), to join him on a mystical journey to see Wesley fulfill his supernatural potential. I had no idea they were going to payoff these vague promises The Traveler alluded to in Wesley way back in season two, so big props to the cast and crew making that happen! -Other past recurring characters returned, but only to see them casted in middling-to-disappointing episodes. This is the case for Reginald Barclay (Dwight Schultz) in the head-scratching “Genesis” episode that has the Enterprise staff fall victim to a virus that de-evolves them into various primates. The love-or-hate mother of Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis), Lwaxana (Majel Barrett), has a major sendoff in her final episode where we learn all about her tragic backstory.

-Speaking of mediocre episodes, season seven has a bit more than previous seasons. A two-parter sees Riker and Picard go undercover to form a fake mutiny to sniff out a Vulcan double agent, and while it is not terrible by any means, the whole arc seems bloated and the second episode feels unnecessary. “Phantasms” is as bizarre as the dreams Data (Brent Spiner) has in the episode, but Data later has a redeeming character episode in “Inheritance” where he meets his mother…..then later hits another stumble in “Thine Own Self” where his radioactive experiments causes a planet’s population to become seriously ill. I will give season seven the benefit of the doubt for the noticeable bump up in lackluster episodes because several of the bonus interviews own up to this and attribute it to the cast and crew being spread thin with the final season of TNG, the second season of Deep Space Nine and being in pre-production of the first season of Voyager and the upcoming movie with the TNG crew, Generations. -The holodeck’s sendoff in TNG, “Emergence” is a decent affair that sees the crew go aboard the Orient Express to solve the mystery of how the holodeck becomes self-aware. The episode had a few promising moments, but could have been better. While I enjoyed the quality of holodeck episodes overall in TNG, from what I understand the holodeck episodes greatly suffer going forward and falls victim to holodeck malfunctions and sexual fantasy tropes.

Worf once again has a strong set of character-focused episodes this season. You have not lived until witnessing Worf adopt a cat for an episode, and experience a birthday party time-loop. -Worf (Michael Dorn) has one of the strongest slate of character episodes this season. Seeing Worf being a curmudgeon at his birthday party was pulled off to perfection! “Homeward” is a feel-good family episode where Worf resolves his rocky relationship with his foster brother, Nikolai (Paul Sorvino). The best Worf-centered episode is saved for last where he trains Alexander (James Sloyan) in the arts of becoming a Klingon warrior with the help of a mysterious Klingon friend.

-A couple other episodes that made strong impressions on me this season are “The Pegasus” and “Lower Decks.” In the former, Terry O’ Quinn of Lost fame, appears here as a higher-up from Starfleet to track down the lost USS Pegasus, but Picard (Patrick Stewart) eventually discovers a grand cover-up that has an enticing way of finding the truth of what Quinn’s character is hiding. “Lower Decks” is entirely focused on the background Ensigns and ancillary characters like Nurse Ogawa (Patti Yasutake). The last couple years saw the streaming service, Paramount+ (formerly CBS All Access) launch a Star Trek: Lower Decks animated series with the very same premise, and if you are a fan of the cartoon, you owe it to yourself to track down this episode as its source material. “Interface” and “Bloodlines” are both strong episodes dealing with long forgotten family members. The former has Geordi (LeVar Burton) risking his life with prototype tech to save his mother (Madge Sinclair), and the latter deals with Picard’s surprise of finding out he had a son (Ken Olandt) from a decades-prior relationship.

-Now to the moment of truth, it is time to cover the final two-part episode, “All Good Things…” The series finale naturally focuses on Jean-Luc as he finds himself constantly time-warping between three different time periods to solve a new challenge bestowed onto him by none other than Q (John de Lancie). I loved how they brought it back full-circle with one of the time periods emanating from the same setting as the original pilot episode of TNG where Q puts the then-newly assembled Enterprise crew on trial. The cast and crew hold nothing back for the final episode with an enthralling narrative as Picard pieces together Q’s final challenge, and has an emotional final scene where after seven seasons, Picard finally joins his crew for a round of poker. -Here is the paragraph with my obligatory kudos to the countless hours spent remastering TNG in HD for the BluRay set. I am not a video-phile and cannot immaculately explain with the proper tech verbiage on how they did it. All I can say is the staff painstakingly made it look like they shot it today, and it does not have any of the old fuzzy standard definition effects that would happen when forcing an SD resolution onto an HD set. Just watch this indicative video that overlays the remastered HD transfer over the SD version to see for yourself. I will also give yearly props to the podcast, Star Trek: The Next Conversation which chronicles every individual episode of TNG and has served as the best supplementary listening material to get the most out of every episode for me. The podcast took a hiatus during the pandemic, and only recently picked up again and are only a couple episodes into season seven as of this writing, so I will pat myself on the back at catching up to them when I was nearly a season and a half behind them when I started from the beginning of TNG.

-You guys know I love covering the bonus features, and season seven of the BluRay is absolutely jacked with them with previous bonus interviews and specials, and all new HD extras. According to my notes, it all added up for just over five hours of bonus materials, and that is not including a handful of commentary tracks on selected episodes. Going over each and every piece of bonus content will kill me, so instead I will highlight the handful that I got the most out of: -----Captain’s Tribute (16 min) – Stewart gives loving testimonials to the cast and crew. A lesson he learned from a dialog with Michael Dorn and LeVar Burton was a key takeaway here. -----In Conversation: Lensing ST: TNG (42 min) - This one is a new HD extra aimed at special effects enthusiasts where a roundtable discussion with camera operators and directors of photography reunite to talk shop of the many highs and lows of on the set production. While a fair amount of trade vernacular went right over my head, they provided ample context and their enthusiasm for their craft is irresistible!

I know it is asking a lot to dive into the many hours of bonus interviews, but nearly most of it is incredibly insightful and well worth your time! -----Starfleet Moments & Memories (30 min) – Awesome feature showcasing the camaraderie and humor between takes that indicates a true sense of friendship among the cast and crew. -----Closed Set: Tour of Real Enterprise (11 min) – The Okundas give a private, narrated, tour of the Enterprise filled with fun facts like how the set for sickbay gained a reputation among cast and crew as “nap-bay.” Every person should have their own nap-bay! -----Journeys End: The Saga of TNG (45 min) – Original 1994 TV special hosted by Jonathan Frakes celebrating the end of an era. ----Sky’s the Limit: Eclipse of TNG (89 min) – Three part special with part one primarily focused on the cast and crew having a lot of projects on their plate the final year and lovingly throwing shade at Picket Fences for stealing their Emmy award! Part two interviews various directors of episodes about their process, and Seth McFarlane shares a special moment he had with a fan on how the show saved their life. The third part interviews a lot of the cast on how they felt the show wrapped, with a couple highlights being Sirtis not being fond of the Worf/Deanna courtship, and Patrick Stewart remarking when asked about future projects that he would consider them, but thought they would ultimately be unnecessary. This was obviously recorded several years before Stewart would return as Picard in the current Paramount+ series, Picard.

-Suffice it to say, the extra features do not disappoint! As I foreshadowed above, there is an apparent dip in quality this season overall compared to the high bar set from seasons three through six, but I will cut the cast and crew some slack since they were seriously overworked during the 1993-94 season. There are still many excellent episodes though as I dissected above, and a terrific series finale that puts the best damn bow they possibly could on the TV series. Thank you so much for joining me on this ride over the past three years and bearing with me on my never-ending entries covering the series. If you missed out on previous entries, click here to see all my previous season recaps of The Next Generation, or click here to continue my journey with TNG crew with my reviews of all the Star Trek motion pictures.

Past TV/Web Series Blogs 2013-14 TV Season Recap 2014-15 TV Season Recap 2015-16 TV Season Recap 2016-17 TV Season Recap 2017-18 TV Season Recap 2018-19 TV Season Recap 2019-20 TV Season Recap Adventures of Briscoe County Jr: The Complete Series Baseball: A Ken Burns series Angry Videogame Nerd Home Video Collections Cobra Kai – Seasons 1-2 Mortal Kombat: Legacy - Season 1 | Season 2 OJ: Made in America: 30 for 30 RedvsBlue - Seasons 1-13 Roseanne – Seasons 1-9 Seinfeld - Final Season Star Trek: Next Generation – Seasons 1-7 Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle Superheroes: Pioneers of Television The Vietnam War: A Ken Burns series X-Men – The Animated Series: Volumes 4-5

#star trek #Star Trek TNG #picard #data #Patrick Stewart #Brent Spiner #jonathan frakes #gates mcfadden #Marina Sirtis #levar burton #Michael Dorn #Wil Wheaton #whoopi goldberg #dwight schultz

[kindabraveandlittlestupid]

It seems Disney underestimated the power of the Dark Side of its fan base with the box office failure of Solo: A Star Wars Story. It shows a fracturing among viewers and how future movies will be received (or not received) by audiences around the world. The major issue with the fans isn't that people outright hate the new direction of the series but many are upset that the universe they know and love for long is changing before them. Some of those changes are for the better with new stronger female leads in the movies (which was needed) and then there are changes that for the worse such as changing the established lore of the force and cutting back the extended universe, which ironically took dozens of strong female characters with it. So yay! Progress?

So I plan to make the case for being critical of the new movies. I plan to also chastize those jerkoffs who decided to attack female actresses for being role models for young girls. I plan to make a rational argument for the removed content cut away by Disney writers. I also plan on talking about how we can bridge these divides and bring everyone back together. You might not agree with everything I say or maybe you will. Most people almost never share 100% of their opinions with another person which was kind of the problem in all this... dissent was widdled down to either or and those fans with legit criticisms were pushed into the camp of those assholes who hate women and the concept of social justice/equity. Because there was no discourse or room for dissent, Disney Ultimately gambled on that disgruntled fanbase not being as influential as it is and they were wrong.

No Room For Dissent

This is a common problem in society these days, where we view things in absolutes; be it politics, movies, religion and so on. Perhaps we have always been like that (I only been around since 1985) but it feels pretty bad these day especially in regards to politics being so divisive or movies that look to present more female roles and ethnic roles in their casts taking so much flak. While I might make some political parallels to create examples, I intend on focusing on the cultural divides taking place in these popular movies.

There is plenty of blame to go around for the tribal mentality that comes when critiquing a movie. Studios benefit from having a cultural high ground because it's easier to say “You’re being sexist or racist” instead of handling a critique and having to answer for poor choices they made while making the movie. I imagine this is what happened in the case of the Ghostbusters reboot, some people asked why the black character wasn't the scientist and the studio reacted with “Why don't you like women?” A kind of deflection mentality that avoided a valid critique of the movie and shames the critic from raising his or her voice again.

The blame also falls at the feet of the very worst patrons of our society. On one side you have the army of trolls of the web who are by far the worst people the interwebs (and the world) has to offer. These are the sort of guys who see any female lead role as an insult and seek out to harass them in the real world forcing the said actresses to abandon social media. These sort of people (most of them male) leave me gritting my teeth because this isn't so much a passion of a fandom they want to protect as it is a lifestyle of attacking people who are not them. Everything is a fucking battle and anything that progresses or enhances another race/gender/sexuality beyond their own is considered a threat to their manhood.

On the other side, we have people who you would call PC and they are sometimes PC to a fault. I tend to find myself agreeing with people on this side more often than not but even then we have our moments where I am wondering what the fuck the objective is. They become advocates for a worthwhile cause but become blinded to valid points or arguments. Back to Star Wars, I wondered why Admiral Holdo was even in the movie because she was killed right away and Akbar or Leia could have had the noble death. The response is defensive of the female role simply because it's a female role. Studios obviously love these advocates because they still don't have to answer the questions and its a private army of people to protect their franchise.

The last group is fans which is a wide spectrum of people from little girls who see Rey and get excited to see a girl kicking ass on the screen to long-term fans who have questions about the lore of the movies being changed or questions why the movie changed directions. Most of us reside here between the two extremes; the PC movie defenders who see the film as a tool to improve society and those little troll fuckers who want to see the world burn.

The failing in this discussion about the movie is the fact those two polar opposites dictated the discourse for the rest of us. You either accepted the movie as it was and enjoyed being on the moral high ground or join the trolls if you have any small critiques of the movie whatsoever. Perhaps we more moderate critics failed a bit by letting the trolls become the loudest voice in the room and let them write letters where they basically bashed women became the only thing people could see. Much like a peaceful protest where 97% of the people are there to say their piece with civility and clarity but its those 3% (the Trolls) throwing trash cans thru the window that get the cameras on them and they define the protest with the media coverage. 

I blame also the Directors and Disney for playing this absolutist mentality where they say anyone who is complaining about the movie is a baby, sexist, racist or some other insult. They didn't seem to want to have any criticism and why would they?! Having a golden franchise that can basically prints money and where you can say anyone who dissents against us is a bigot of some sort, is a hell of a defense. No one wants to be with the trolls and be labeled as chauvinist or racist but because there was no spectrum or room for dissent they ultimately pushed critics and concerned fans to that side.

Respecting The Lore/Establish A Vision

Disney may not realize this but they fucked up pretty bad by cutting away the extended universe. I understand WHY they did it; thousands of characters, hundreds of worlds, dozens of stories to consider compiled over 40 years? I imagine the collective writers of Disney who saw the scope of what other people had built together and collectively shit their pants. It's a massive undertaking to try and apply the lore in a way that fans might enjoy or explore plots that we would love to see executed. The problem is instead of looking at this expanded universe as a foundation to build their movies on, they decided to slice it away and leave nothing but the core movies and a cartoon. I will try and break down why that was a mistake.

Fans Invested Most of Their Time Into The SWEU

What they may have not realized is the original trilogy and the prequel trilogy was not where fans invested most of their time. Yes, we loved those movies for being the gateway into this great fictional universe but ultimately watching the 6 films would take only 13 hours. Knights of the Old Republic a single game of that Star Wars Universe (that they cut away), takes at least 28 to 48 hours to complete. Then you add on other games Knights of the Old Republic 2, The Old Republic MMO, Shadows of the Empire, Battlefront 1/2, The Force Unleashed, Rogue Squadron, Empire at War, Dark Forces, Jedi Knight, Jedi Academy, Republic Commando and so on you are now looking at hundreds of hours invested to a single play thru or more likely THOUSANDS of hours for true gamers play each game a few times.

This is where the true long-term fans who buy Star Wars merchandise over a lifetime instead of a holiday season reside. It stays fresh in our minds as books, comics, games, and yes the movies become part of regular media diet. Disney perhaps felt overwhelmed by it or perhaps wanted to reboot the universe decided to take the vast majority of where our love resides in the Star Wars Universe and scrapped it. Like it or not this is where they lost most of their following and since they did it just before the release of the The Last Jedi they have since been dealing with the fallout of loyal fans who feel betrayed and I am not talking just about the bitchy trolls from online either.

Removal of Strong Female Roles

I like seeing Ray as a strong female character and we all, of course, we all love Leia as well. There is no doubt the Star Wars movies while centered around some strong female characters have been pretty much been male-dominated for those first six films. So the change is not only warranted but welcomed.

What is a shame as while that was true for the movies it was far from the truth for the SWEU content where there were literally dozens of strong female leads they could have been explored by Disney.

Meetra Surik

Mara Jade

Bastila Shan

Mission Vao

Juno Eclipse

Iden Versio

Jaina Solo

Maris Brood

Visas Marr

Jan Ors

And so many more...

These women come different walks of life being the daughter of Han and Leia (Jaina Solo), plucky engineers who travel with a Wookie (Mission Vao), former Sith turned to the Light Side (Mara Jade), former Imperial Pilots and Soldiers fighting for the Rebellion (Juno and Iden), or even one of the most powerful Jedi’s in the Galaxy (Meetra Surik). I suppose what is best about them being fictional is that they still exist and if Disney wants to start mending bridges they should star readapting these characters into the canon universe.

The Best Stories Exist Before And After The Movies

I suppose for some the story of Skywalker family struggle was enough for them but the bigger stories existed long before the Empire/First Order and greatest conflict took place years after. The Mandalorian Wars, where warriors raider world after world forcing the Galactic Republic to step in. The Great Galactic War pitting the Sith against Jedi across the galaxy. The Invasion of the Yuuzhan Vong leaving trillions dead across hundreds of worlds and nearly destroying all life.

These stories are part of that extended universe and far more compelling than the recycled Death Star plot we saw in 4 of the 10 Star Wars movies. The audience craved to see the Jedi at their peak when they maintained peace across the universe, or they wish to see the Sith exist not in pairs but as an Empires themselves. If Disney wants to explore this franchise than embrace the stories that have not yet been shown on screen.

Establishing A Vision

Disney has enjoyed great success with the MCU and dozens of movies its created. They also managed to get their mittens on the Star Wars Universe and seek to milk it much the same. The problem is they don't seem to have a clear idea where they want to go with the movies or what they should do with it. I already discussed how complex the universe is with all its lore but you (Disney) have control over the movies. The rights to the toys, games, books, comics and films an like it or not we are at your mercy of where you decide to take it. 

I suppose I am advocating having a vision for the future of this series. Marvel Cinematic Universe works because the stories were planned out with a sort of climactic point to be explored (IE the Infinity Wars) so we know you can practice good foresight. On the other hand... John Carter, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and the Lone Ranger display a carelessness of other franchises. Not trying to be mean, just stating a fact. We saw it happen with other movies like Batman in the 90′s where the objective was selling toys and not making a quality film that could encourage people to buy merchandise for decades. I guess what I am trying to say is Harry Potter this franchise, treat it with love and care that the fanboys and fangirls so we can go with you on this adventure into a galaxy far far away.

A Letter to You Troll Douchbags

Some of us critics truly love movies. We see the flaws as they are and we want to be able to say our views with other people around a table. I had my issues with the magical properties of the heart-shaped herb in Black Panther. I wish they continued Ghostbusters 3 with Oscar (Jason Gordon Lovitt) taking over and having some young black scientists (played by Donald Glover and Jessica Williams) being the Ghostbusters (and Role Models) in the movie. I have some issues with The Last Jedi and how they changed the flow of the movie from one director to the next but you little bitches keep making these debates about race and fucking gender every fucking time. You see a woman on screen and you write up a review of a movie that isn't even out yet because you’re somehow afraid of the 50 movies released over the year you somehow won't be represented.

Cut your fucking shit out you little pricks. We cant make honest critiques now because you’re the first fucking twits to review a film and all you spew is the vial fucking hate raging against everything that isn't you. Honestly, the rest of us just want to enjoy ourselves, we are grown up enough to know white isn't the only skin color in the seats of the movie theater and male isn't the only gender of a hero (we call them heroines) in movies.

I picked these movies on purpose because they were topical and I had my issues with them (and I have my issue with every movie save Shaun of the Dead which is fucking perfect). I wanted to write reviews that were balanced because I want to believe we can have that discourse again where we can chat why a movie works or doesn't work without the risk of having labels like sexist or racist applied to us because you want to act out. So please for the love of god either commit to shoving your head further up your ass so we can't hear you or pull your head out and join the rest of the world. Either way, I am tired of having to apologize and denounce your rhetoric... it's honestly fucking exhausting.

Regards Michael California

#Star Wars #Disney #The Force Awakens #The Last Jedi #Star Wars Expanded Universe #Personal Rant #MovieReview