#i hope this answered your question anon.

[deepfriedpaddymayne]

who, in your massively correct opinion, is the hottest sas boy? i can never tell if i think they're hot or i want to steal their gender

anon. before i start answering this, I need you to know that I went at this the most ridiculous way possible. just so you know, before you embark upon this journey.

imagine you are me. and you are a lesbian. and you think everyone on rogue heroes looks like Some Guy. and then you get this question. you might come up with an idea, make a joke, and move on.

OR.

you could choose to apply the scientific method. objectively quantify hotness in the Objective opinion of a lesbian. except, obviously, hotness depends on a series of factors - just because someone is attractive, it doesn't mean that they are Hot, you get me? you gotta keep their personality into account, too. AND on top of all of that, we need to account for gender envy. so you do what I did. and you open excel. and you start grading the boys depending on fuckability, dateability, and whether or not you want their gender. cool, now you have an Objective, Correct Answer. because obviously everyone's opinions on attractiveness are subjective and therefore all valid, BUT my subjective intepretation IS a little more correct than other people's. anyway, you have done all this. you have your answer. except you also have a visual memory and don't love numbers. and you might choose to chart it all out.

if, for some godforsaken reason, you had followed all of these steps, then you would find yourself with something like this.

and you would conclude that, if we exclude gender envy that might skew results, the hottest Rogue Heroes boy is Eoin McGonigal. which is ironic, considering he's in the cold, cold ground now.

I'm actually putting a cut here not to clog everyone's dash with this, but here are some little explanations on why I gave my score and clarifying some slightly confusing things about the chart:

Everyone is listed by surname to make sure they were all identifiable without clogging up the chart too much.

I do think most of them look, like. Fine. not, like, fiiiiiiine, they do genuinely just look. like some guys. half of them I wouldn't look at twice if I met them in tesco, you get me? anyway. I stared at so many pictures of these men trying to determine if they were fuckable. I think I am losing my mind.

Jordan, Cooper, and Stirling are actually all on the same point, they are just vaguely scattered around to make the labels readable. I had to install a whole new r package for this.

now the fun part. my completely Objective and Correct Judgment on each boy

-Stirling - his swagless looks and cringefail personality might have captivated Eve, but they are not enough for me. he looks mostly average, but he gets extra points because I am an Unusual Nose enjoyer

-Paddy - with all of my love for him he also does just look normal in my opinion (very pretty eyes, though). like, he looks good, but in a pretty normal way. and then on top of that there is his personality. (both of his scores turn into 10s if you have the highly specific brand of mental illness that Augustin and Eoin both have. get better soon pal)

-Lewes - Jock would absolutely make the best boyfriend out of the main trio, this is basically canon. he's also kind of pretty in a haunted doll way but again I do think he looks mostly Fine.

-Riley - not sure how to justify why his scores are so high tbh. but he seems very confident which is kind of attractive, I guess? also no idea why I want his gender. but I DO.

-Almonds - I just KNOW that Almonds would be such a kind and caring boyfriend. I had originally given him a 7 for fuckability but then I realised that if I was a gay man I would be all over his bear charms in a matter of seconds.

-Reg - Reg gets extra points for being kind of a malewife and also his massive tits but other than that I do think he's pretty average. I would be his friend though. I think he'd be a big lesbian ally in the same way Thor is.

-Kershaw - his fuckability is that high because he exclusively joined the SAS cause he loves killing fascists so my friends and I have an ongoing joke that he fucks like a freight train. that's it.

-Wee Johnny - a little Too Blond for my taste. also, I am sorry, but he is VERY young and I think at the point in life he's at, he'd be a little too self centred to be a good boyfriend. that said my man looks like a he/him lesbian and I'd steal his gender like a fae if I could.

-Fraser - I just KNOW he'd be the kindest, most gentle boyfriend on the planet. absolute sweetheart of a man. that said, he does just look like your run of the mill twink.

-Sadler - really don't know what it is about his odd as hell vibes that makes him so fuckable to me but there is SOMETHING. that said those odd as hell vibes do probably make him into a Not Ideal boyfriend.

-Eoin - I'm sorry, he's got it all. he cooks? he's sweet and understanding but can also be a bit of a little shit? buff but not massive? gets dimples when he smiles? AND he's got freckles and curly hair and an Unusual nose? he's literally perfect and undefeated winner of this contest. rest in peace sweet prince

-Augustin - he has very pretty eyes and face but his lankyness and weirdass way of moving (affectionate) does bring his fuckability score down a little. he's also Insane and while I do think he's very good at hiding it, you would eventually notice while you are dating him and go "huh!" (this, once again, does not apply if you are Paddy). oh that said I don't know what it is about his weird skinny puppetlike limbs that's so gender to me but. yah.

-Bergé - gonna be honest here, he's only included because I felt bad about Augustin being the only Frenchie on there. I like his moustache and his funky hat.

#sas rogue heroes #sas: rogue heroes #anyway this is the stupidest contribution to this fandom ever but. #i hope this answered your question anon. #anyway besties tell me what your hot takes are I am curious! #let's not talk about how long i spent on this. let's not. #oscar rambles #oh also the actual answer is that eve is obviously the hottest person on the show #like i am not even saying this as a lesbian but like #all the men look like guys I could meet at the big tesco eve looks like a supermodel. like come on guys #oscar answers questions

[yourlittlettoy]

Have you ever tried to tickle yourself? And did it work?

(if you don't mind, explain the position you used, the way you tickled yourself, and where you tickled yourself)

… no shot I can explain so uhhhh here take a clip of a video I made of myself attempting to instead 🙈💀

#me #ask #anon #answered! #LISTEN I TRIED MY HARDEST #I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION LMAO #video #feet #self tickling #tease~ #foot tease #ticklish

[lambment]

How do you have the energy to post everyday……..how do you pace your time to draw spare tips please 🤲

okay first things first! this is absolutley not a sustainable pace to go at!! just want to make that expectation very clear, that this is not normal!! lol I will run out of energy

a reason why this is happening:

Im having a shit ton of fun (what hyperfixation does to a man/so many brainworms )

I work freelance from my house (I choose my hours)

I've been reintroduced to adhd meds (lol)

everyone is being v nice to me <:

I was extremely burnt-out and barely drawing when I left my job as an animator to pursue boarding, this is like one of the only times ive had fun w art since then.

for proper tips all I can honestly give is: let go of expectations, just draw what you want to see, someone else out there will also probably want to see it too. Im ngl 80% of my comics are literally just stream of thought of what I would think is funny, and some of you are finding it 'hehe haha' too! not policing what Im drawing is rlly helping.

I normally render the ever loving shit out of things, I have let go of that expectation here, im not putting that type of pressure on myself lol, my only job is to have fun with this, therefore Im drawing way more than I normally would! give it a try yourself!

#I hope this answered your question anon #art tips #speaketh

[simplydnp]

okay what do you think, easter baking video?? april fools joke?? both???

dan and phil have made a point in their return to be like 'remember all the things you loved about the d&p era? they're all coming back! but this time more gay!' it was literally the focal point of their return: the tatinof dil head. and since then, they've proved this. sims revival, spooky week, halloween baking, google feud, calendar & calendar vlog, dan vs phil, gamingmas, wdapteo--these are all returning projects. the only 'traditions' they have left are pinof (not returning, though we did get pinof reacts), danandphilCRAFTS (which was intended for 3 years and completed them), and easter baking. ergo, why bring everything else back and not this? i won't be like, mad, if we don't get one, but i will be confused, given their all-or-nothing commitment to the revival of the gaming channel.

regarding april fools itself: dan and phil love april fools because they love fucking with us (earned) they plan their pranks out and i respect them for it. while there's been many good ones throughout the years, which other duo, who have been stuck in sexuality and relationship speculation for their entirety in the spotlight (and have finally gotten the nature of their relationship mostly out of the public eye), has ever or will ever do a joint fucking nude and post it. no context. no takebacks. no nothing. to me that is peak dan and phil shenanigans. i expect them to do something for it because they adore april fools. will it eclipse last years? who knows. to me, it doesn't need to, and almost shouldn't. cause that was such psychic damage and i think it should be perceived how it's perceived, but dan and phil are feeling ✌️🤪✌️ lately so i wouldn't put it past them.

#here is your essay anon. i hope you enjoy!! thank u for the question #dnp #c.text #dan and phil #answered #phan #<- for the fandometrics

[softcitrus2345]

Hi, I absolutely love your art!! I wanted to ask about the latest kinktober prompt? When Damien woke up in Matt's body, Matt had what I think are claw marks? If they are, what happened to him? Again, I love your art and I hope you have a nice day!!

Congratulations, anon! You have unlocked: LEMON'S OC LORE

The difference in tone between their canon stories and what I share of them here is so funny to me XDD Sorry if I threw yall off with the sudden angst posting, it won't happen too often here-

Thank you so much for the ask anon! I really appreciate your sweet comments and curiosity about my silly little fictional guys ;;w;;

#Holy shit this took forever to finish #hope that answered your question anon XD #Sorry for the angst yall but I couldn't resist the urge to dump lore on here the second I'm prompted to- #softcitrus asks #softcitrus matt #softcitrus damien #softcitrus vanessa #bhm #oc lore

[bibuddie]

In your opinion, how do you think is going to evolve Tommy/Buck relationship? What do you think is gonna happen?

hi anon!

okie dokie. so i think the first important thing to note is that we obviously know bucktommy isn't the intended end-goal - there's a few things that clue us in about this, but generally it's pretty widely accepted throughout the fandom space that this isn't the be all and end all for buck.

that being said, this relationship still has the opportunity to be extremely meaningful for buck, and i truly believe it will be.

i do believe that tommy will be around for a while to come, as buck begins to navigate coming to terms with his sexuality. as a man coming to terms with bisexuality in his thirties, he's going to have a lot of complex emotions to navigate, and maybe some unlearning and relearning to do too, and i think tommy's going to help him to do a lot of that. additionally, his dynamic with tommy is something fresh and something that we haven't seen before out of buck in a relationship. i can't remember the last time the flirting was this innocent, for want of a better word. the flirting in buck's apartment was just flirting for the sake of it, no expectation at the end of it and i really loved it and found it extremely refreshing. i honestly wouldn't mind seeing tommy stick around for a minute, and buck getting used to being in a relationship with a man, and learning what that's like and how to navigate both himself and his partner in that set of circumstances.

that being said, as i was saying, this isn't the intended end-game for buck, and i think we all know that. the biggest clue being that tommy is an amalgamation of different facets of eddie in many different ways. i think there will come a point - and i'm not entirely sure what the catalyst will be, although i definitely have some ideas - that tommy senses the dynamic between buck and eddie, if he hasn't already. i think the connection between buck and eddie will be undeniable to tommy, and i think through viewing his life through a slightly different lens, buck may begin to recontextualise his relationship with eddie, and what he wants from it, and i think that's where our line in the sand will be; once buck has that realisation, there's going to be a point of no return - an undeniable moment of reckoning that he's been in love with his best friend for years, and i think tommy will probably get there before buck does, and things will reach their natural end.

#anon #asks #bucktommy #buddie #i hope this answers your question!! (: feel free to ask anything else!!

[hakusins]

If male Jordan looks female does female Jordan look like a male? … (let me fuck em both)

unfortunately anon you'll have to get in line - there's already someone by jordan's side and he ain't the sharing type

but on f!jordan design!! I actually didn't think much when making m!jordan cause i was just thinking of what my oc's type would be (pretty men) HBREHBFJHBERF but if i were to view f!jordan, it would just be m!jordan design but female? so they'd look something like this:

BUT YOU DID give me the Thought of .... short haired f!jordan so you also get a bonus brainrot doodle from yours truly <3

but same anon - same, i want to fuck em both

#HBJERBFHJBEHJRFBJHERBF #HELP ME ANON IM SO SORRY FOR RESPONDING SO LATE #i had my hands preoccupied with another thing - (side eyes a certain bunny) #HJBERBFJBEJRHFBJERJHFEBJHFR #BUT I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION?!??!?!? #idk i just saw this and let my random thoughts take the wheel #ask dean #dean answers #jordan the pious #dol #dol related #degrees of lewdity #dol jordan #eri the orphan #dol pc #im sorry about my bastard son he's the possessive type #fan art #art #mine #my fan art #my art #anonymous #also had to bust out my ipad because my graphic tablet is DRIVING ME CRAZY with the connection issues #like babygirl i aint buying a new one you better keep working.

[captainfern]

Is it hard writing smut :0? Idk about you but I have to be really horny to read smut, and if I’m not I just feel completely ashamed and disgusted in myself, and I want to know if it’s like that writing smut

Idk I just feel like you sort of have to be in the mood to write smut if you know what I mean💀

I dunno I’ve never written it before

i read smut like the morning news

no but in all seriousness, i can honestly read it whenever (although certain topics/kinks i have to be in the mood for)— but i have to be in a certain mood to write smut. not necessarily horny, but idk how to describe it. that’s why i love taking asks and using other peoples posts as inspo. if i see a really good idea/ask, then it makes me really want to write something !!

also, there’s no need to be disgusted with yourself. exploring different aspects of your own sexual interests, and sexual writing/creations is completely normal and totally okay. as long as what you are choosing to engage in is safe for you as a person and doesn’t damage your idea of sexual boundaries/kinks, then you’re completely fine !!

and when i’m writing, sometimes i’ll like gain consciousness lmao and cringe myself out. that’s why most of the time i don’t proofread my stuff lol

until i got on tumblr, i’d never written smut before— i’d read it, but never wrote. so yeah, it was a learning experience, but i think i’m doing okay this far lol :)

#captainfern #captainfernsalutes #i actually enjoyed talking a bit about this so thank you anon i hope this answers your question <3

[fdelopera]

Hi curious anon here. You mentioned in one of your posts (I think the sennek one? If I’m spelling it right) that the exodus from Egypt was metaphorical as the enslavement in Egypt didn’t happen, but I thought it did? Can you explain? (If you’re happy to of course)

Hi Anon! Thanks for your question. My response is looong lol (you got me going about a special interest), so buckle up!

Sooo I’m going to make a few guesses here, based on the way you’ve phrased your question. Judging from the fact that you’ve written Sukkot as “sennek” (I've looked through recent posts, and I think this is the post you're referring to), I’m going to guess that you’re not Jewish.

And judging from the fact that you think that Shemot, or “Names” (commonly written in Christian bibles as Exodus), is a literal historical account of Jewish history, I’m guessing that you have a Christian background.

You’re not alone in this. And I’m not saying this to pick on you. Many Christians have a literalist interpretation of the Bible, and most have zero knowledge of Jewish history (aside from maybe knowing some facts about the Holocaust). And so, what knowledge of Jewish history you have mostly comes from the Tanakh (what you call the Old Testament).

Tanakh is an acronym. It stands for Torah (the Five Books of Moses), Nevi’im (Prophets), Ketuvim (Writings). Also, the Tanakh and the “Old Testament” are not the same. The Tanakh has its own internal organization that makes sense for Jewish practice. The various Christian movements took the Tanakh, cut it up, reordered it, and then often mistranslated it as a way to justify the persecution of various groups of people — I’m looking at you, King James Bible.

But back to Shemot, the “Exodus” story. The story of Moshe leading the Israelites out of Egypt is more of a Canaanite cultural memory of the Late Bronze Age Collapse between around 1200 – 1150 BCE, which was preserved in oral history and passed down through the ages until it was written down in the form that we know it in the 6th century BCE by Jewish leaders from the Southern Kingdom of Judah.

Since the text is influenced by Babylonian culture and mythology, just as Bereshit is (which you know as Genesis), it is likely that some of the writing and editing of Shemot took place during and after the Babylonian exile in the 500s BCE.

Now, I’m guessing that what I’ve just written in these two paragraphs above sounds very strange to you.

Wait, you might say, didn’t the Israelites conquer the land of Canaan?

Wasn’t the "Exodus" written by Moses’s own hand during the 13th century BCE?

And wasn’t the Pharaoh in the Exodus Ramesses II (aka Ramesses the Great), who ruled in the 13th century BCE?

Actually, no. None of that happened.

The Israelites didn’t conquer Canaan. The Israelites were the same people as the Canaanites, and these are the same peoples as who later became the Jews, as I will explain. The Semitic peoples who would become the Jewish people have been in this area of the Levant since the Bronze Age.

Moshe was not a historical figure and did not write the Torah.

The “Pharaoh” in Exodus is not any specific Egyptian ruler (Ramesses the Great as the “Pharaoh” is mostly a pop culture theory from the 20th century).

Okay, now that I’ve said all that, let’s dive in.

The first ever mention of Israel was inscribed in the Merneptah Stele, somewhere between 1213 to 1203 BCE. Pharaoh Merneptah, who was the Pharaoh after Ramesses the Great, describes a campaign in Canaan to subdue a people called Israel. But there is no mention of plagues or an exodus because those things didn’t happen. The Canaanites were not slaves in Egypt. Canaan was a vassal state of Egypt.

In fact, the events that occurred during the reign of a later Pharaoh, Ramesses III, relate more to Jewish history. Ramesses III won a pyrrhic victory over the Peleset and other “Sea Peoples” who came to Egypt fighting for resources during a time of famine, earthquakes, and extreme societal turmoil. And Ramesses III would witness the beginning of the end of the Bronze Age.

The Canaanites, who were a Semitic people in the Levant, gradually evolved into the people who would become the Northern Kingdom of Israel and the Southern Kingdom of Judah (i.e., Jewish people), but during the 13th Century BCE, they were Canaanites, not Jews.

The Canaanites were polytheistic, worshiping a complex pantheon of gods; they didn’t follow the later Jewish dietary laws (i.e., they ate pork); and their religious practice bore little to no resemblance to the Jewish people of the Second Temple Period.

So, to reiterate, the people in Canaan who called themselves Israel during the Bronze Age were a Semitic people, but they were not recognizably Jewish, at least not to us Jews today. Canaan was a vassal state of Egypt, just as Ugarit and the Hittite Empire were.

Canaan was part of the vast trading alliance that allowed the Bronze Age to produce the metal that historians have named it for: bronze.

Bronze is a mixture of copper and tin (about 90% copper and 10% tin), and in order to make it, the kingdoms of the Bronze Age had to coordinate the mining, transportation, and smelting of these metals from all over the known world. This trading network allowed for the exchange of all sorts of goods, from grain to textiles to gold. Canaan was just one of these trading partners.

Well, between 1200 BCE and 1150 BCE, this entire trading alliance that allowed Bronze Age society to function went (pardon the expression) completely tits up. This is likely due to a large array of events, including famine and earthquakes, which led to an overall societal disarray.

Some of the people who were hardest hit by the famine, people from Sardinia and Sicily to Mycenae and Crete, came together in a loose organization of peoples, looking for greener pastures. These were all peoples who were known to Egypt, and many of them had either served Egypt directly or had traded with Egypt during better days. According to ancient records, this loose grouping of peoples would arrive at various cities, consume resources there, and then leave for the next city (sacking the city in the process).

Just to be clear, these people were just as much the victims of famine as the cities they sacked. There were no “good guys” or “bad guys” in this equation, just people trying as best as they could to survive in a world that was going to shit.

Well, these “Sea Peoples” (as they were much later dubbed in the 19th century CE) eventually made their way to Egypt, but Ramesses III defeated them in battle around 1175 BCE. He had the battle immortalized on his mortuary temple at Medinet Habu.

We don’t know much about these Sea Peoples, but we do know what the Egyptians called them. And from those names, we can figure out some of their origins. Peoples such as the Ekwesh and the Denyen. These were likely the Achaeans and the Danaans.

If you’re familiar with Homer’s Iliad, you’ll recognize these as some of the names that Homer gives to the Greek tribes. Many of the Sea Peoples were from city states that are now part of Greece and Italy.

Yes, the Late Bronze Age Collapse of the 12th Century BCE didn’t just get handed down as a cultural memory of the “Exodus” to the people who would centuries later become the Jews. That cataclysm also inspired the stories that “Homer” would later canonize as the Trojan War in the Iliad and the Odyssey. The Exodus and the Trojan War are both ancient cultural memories of the same societal collapse.

And neither the Trojan War nor the Exodus are factual. However, despite having little to no historicity, they both capture a similar feeling of the world being turned upside down.

Well, back to the Sea Peoples. Remember the Peleset that I mentioned a few paragraphs ago? They were one of these “Sea Peoples” that Ramesses III defeated. They were likely Mycenaean in origin, and possibly originated from Crete. After Ramesses III defeated them, he needed a place to relocate them along with several other tribes, including the Denyen and Tjeker. It was a “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” situation.

So, Egypt rounded up the surviving Peleset and sent them north to settle — to the land of Canaan.

Now, if you have some Biblical background, let me ask you this. What does “Peleset” sound like? What if we start it with an aspirated consonant, more of a “Ph” instead of a “P”?

That’s right. The Peleset settled in Canaan and became the Philistines.

This is where the real story of the people who would become the Jews begins.

As the Mycenaean (aka Greek) Peleset settled in their new home, they clashed with the Semitic Israelite people of Canaan. Some of these Canaanites fought back. These Canaanites also organized themselves into different groups, or “tribes.” (See where this is going?) Some of these tribes were in the Northern area of Canaan, and some were in the South, but there was a delineation between North and South — aka they did not start out as one people and then split in two. They started as two separate groups.

If you’re following me so far, you’ll know that I’m now talking about what would in time become the Northern Kingdom of Israel and the Southern Kingdom of Judah.

Well, backtracking a bit. The Bronze Age was ending, and the Iron Age was about to begin. The Peleset/Philistines were experts at smelting iron, which was harder to work with than bronze due to it having a much higher smelting temperature. When the Peleset settled in Canaan, they brought this iron smelting knowledge with them, and they used it to make weapons to subdue the local Canaanite peoples. The Canaanites therefore had to fight back “with sticks and stones.”

Hmm. Does that sound familiar? Who is one of the most famous Philistines you can think of from the Tanakh (the Old Testament)? I’ll give you a guess. It’s in the Book of Samuel (in the Tanakh, that’s in the Nevi’im — The Prophets).

That’s right. Goliath.

The story of “David and Goliath” is likely a Jewish cultural memory that was transmitted orally from the time of the Canaanite struggles against the Peleset.

The man who would become King David used a well-slinged stone to fell the much greater Goliath, and then he used Goliath’s own iron sword to cut off Goliath’s head.

In this metaphor, we can see the struggle between the Canaanite tribes and the Peleset, as the Canaanites fought to hold off the Peleset’s greater military might.

Historically, the Peleset eventually intermarried with the Canaanites, and within several generations, they were all one people. Likewise, the Mycenaean Denyen tribe may have settled in the Northern Kingdom of Israel, intermarried with the Canaanites, and become the Tribe of Dan.

The Book of Samuel, containing the story of David and Goliath, was written down in the form we would recognize today in the 500s BCE during the Babylonian Exile. It is a cultural memory of the time that the Canaanites were unable to wield iron weapons against a much more technologically advanced society, and it would have resonated with the Jews held captive in Babylon.

And with this mention of the Babylonian Exile, I come to the question that remains. And I think the question that you are asking. Where did the story of Shemot, the “Exodus,” the “Going Out,” come from?

And more importantly, why was that story so important to canonize in the Torah — the Jewish people’s “Instruction”?

The Shemot was likely written down and edited in a form that we would recognize today during and after the Babylonian Exile.

So, what was the Babylonian Exile? And what was its impact on Judaism?

To answer that, I need to start this part of the story about 130 years before the Babylonian Exile, in around 730 BCE. We’re now about 450 years after the Late Bronze Age Collapse, when the Canaanites were fighting the Peleset tribe.

Between about 730 and 720 BCE, the Neo-Assyrian Empire conquered the Northern Kingdom of Israel.

Now, you may know this as the time when the “Ten Tribes of Israel were lost.”

In reality, the Assyrians didn’t capture the entire population of Israel. They did capture the Israelite elite and force them to relocate to Mesopotamia, but there were many people from the Israelite tribes left behind. The Ten Tribes were never “lost” because many of the remaining people in the Northern Kingdom migrated south to the Kingdom of Judah.

One such group of people from the Northern Kingdom of Israel maintained their distinct identity and still exist today: the Samaritans. These are the people who today are the Samaritan Israelites. They have their own Torah and their own Temple on Mount Gerizim, where they continue the tradition of animal sacrifice, as the Jews did in Jerusalem before the Romans destroyed the Second Temple in 70 CE. The Samaritans keep the Sabbath, they observe Kashrut laws (i.e., they keep kosher), and they hold sacrifices on Yom Kippur and Pesach. In short, they have maintained religious practices that are similar to Judaism during the Second Temple period.

This mass migration into the Kingdom of Judah in the late 700s and early 600s BCE is where Judaism as we know it today really started to take shape.

At that time, the people of the Northern Kingdom of Israel were polytheistic. They ate pork. They did many of the things that the writers of the Torah tell the Jews not to do.

This is where many of these commandments began, when the priests of Judah needed to define what it was to be a Jew (a member of the Tribe of Judah), in the face of this mass migration from the Kingdom of Israel.

You see, the Ancient Jews didn’t know about germ theory or recognize that trichinosis was caused by eating undercooked pork. That’s not why pigs are treyf. Pigs are treyf because eating pork began as a societal taboo. In short, pigs take a lot of resources to care for, and they eat people food, not grass (i.e. they don’t chew a cud). So if you kept pigs, you would be taking away resources from other people. When you are living in a precarious society that is constantly being raided and conquered by outsiders, you have to make sure that your people are fed, and if you’re competing with a particular livestock over food, that livestock has to be outlawed.

This time period is also likely when the Kingdom of Judah started to practice monolatry (worshiping one God without explicitly denying the existence of other Gods). The people of Judah worshiped YHWH (Adonai) as their God, and the Northern Kingdom of Israel worshiped El as the head of their polytheistic pantheon. The Jews put both of them together as the same G-d. That is why the Bereshit (Genesis) begins:

When Elohim (G-d) began to shape heaven and earth, and the earth then was welter and waste, and darkness over Tehom (the Deep), and the breath of Elohim (G-d) hovering over the waters

NOTE: This is a modification to Robert Alter’s translation of the first two lines of Bereshit (Genesis) in the Tanakh. In a few paragraphs, I will explain the modification I’ve made of transliterating the Hebrew word “Tehom,” instead of (mis)translating this word as “the Deep” as in nearly every translation of Genesis.

Then over the next two hundred years, monolatry would gradually become monotheism. One of the Northern Kingdom’s gods, Baal, was especially popular, so the Judean leadership had to expressly forbid the worship of this god during the writing of the Tanakh.

The message was clear: If we’re going to be one people, we need to worship one G-d. And the importance of the Babylonian Exile cannot be overstated in this shift from monolatry to monotheism. The period during and after the Babylonian Exile is when most of the Tanakh was edited into a form that we would recognize today.

So, I come back to the question, what was the Babylonian Exile? It began, as many wars do, as a conflict over monetary tribute.

Around 598 BCE, the Judean King Jehoiakim refused to continue paying tribute to the Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar II. And so in around 597 BCE, Nebuchadnezzar II’s troops besieged Jerusalem, killed King Jehoiakim, and captured much of the Judean leadership, holding them captive in Babylon. Over the next ten years, Nebuchadnezzar II continued his siege of Jerusalem, and in 587, he destroyed the First Temple, looted it for its treasures, and took more of the Jews captive. The deportation of the Jewish people to Babylon continued throughout the 580s BCE.

So, by the 570s BCE, the majority of the Jews were captives in a strange land. They were second-class citizens with few rights. The Jews feared that their people would start to assimilate into Babylonian society, intermarry so that they could secure greater freedom for their descendants, and then ultimately disappear as a unique people.

The Jewish leadership knew that this assimilation would begin by the Jews worshiping Babylonian gods.

So the Jewish leadership had a brilliant idea. They said, “We are not in danger of our people drifting into polytheism, assimilation, and cultural death, because we declare that the Babylonian gods do not exist. There is only one G-d, Adonai.”

Now we have left monolatry, and we are fully in monotheism.

And so, the Jews in captivity took Babylonian stories that their children heard around them, and they made these stories Jewish.

That is why the opening lines of Genesis sound so much like the opening lines of the Babylonian creation story, the Enuma Elish.

And remember when I mentioned that I had transliterated “Tehom” in the first two lines of Bereshit (Genesis) above, instead of using the standard translation of “the Deep”? That is because Tehom is a Hebrew cognate for the Babylonian sea goddess Tiamat, who the Babylonian god Marduk defeated and used to shape the heavens and the earth, just as Elohim shaped the heavens and the earth.

When you read the Enuma Elish, you can see the parallels to Genesis:

When the heavens above did not exist, And earth beneath had not come into being — There was Apsû, the first in order, their begetter, And demiurge Tiamat, who gave birth to them all; They had mingled their waters together Before meadow-land had coalesced and reed-bed was to be found — When not one of the gods had been formed Or had come into being, when no destinies had been decreed, The gods were created within them

That is also why the flood story of Noah and the Ark sounds so much like the flood story from the Epic of Gilgamesh.

That is why the story of Moshe’s mother saving him by placing him in a basket on the Nile River parallels the story of King Sargon of Akkad’s mother saving him by placing him in a basket on the Euphrates River.

In order to survive as a people, the Jews consolidated all gods into one G-d. Adonai. Shema Yisrael Adonai eloheinu Adonai ehad. "Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One."

The Jews said, yes, we acknowledge that we are hearing these polytheistic Babylonian stories in our captivity, but we will make them our own so that we can continue to exist as a people.

But back to your question. What about the story told in Shemot, the “Exodus” from the Land of Egypt?

I think by now you can see the parallels between the Jewish people held as captives in Babylon and the story that they told, of the Israelites held as slaves in Egypt.

And so, the Exodus story, which had been told and retold in various ways as a means to process the cataclysmic trauma of the Late Bronze Age Collapse (similar to the oral retellings of the Trojan War epic before they were written down by “Homer”), now took on a new meaning.

The Exodus story now represented the Jewish people’s hope for escape from Babylon. It represented the Jewish people’s desire to rebuild the Temple in Jerusalem that Nebuchadnezzar II had destroyed. It represented the acceptance that it would take at least a generation before the Jews would be able to return to Jerusalem.

And it represented a cautionary tale about leaders who become too powerful, no matter how beloved they may be.

At a Torah study this Sukkot, the Rabbi discussed why the writers of Devarim (Deuteronomy) said that Moshe couldn’t enter Canaan, even though he'd led the Israelites out of Egypt (which, again, didn't literally happen). And one interpretation is because the Jewish leaders were writing and editing the Exodus during and shortly after the Babylonian Exile, and after seeing the Kingdom of Judah fall because of bad leadership. And they were saying, “It doesn't matter how beloved a leader is. If they start becoming a demagogue, and start behaving as someone who is drunk on their own power, you can't trust them as a leader. And you need to find new leadership.” And damn if that isn't a lesson that we could all stand to learn from!

So, was the Exodus story historically true? No. But does it matter that the Exodus story isn’t historically true? No, it does not. It was and is and will continue to be deeply meaningful to the Jewish people. The Shemot, the Exodus, the breaking of chains, the escape from the “Pharaohs” that enslave us — these are still deeply meaningful to us as Jews.

Was Moshe a historical figure? No, he was not. Is he one of the most fascinating, inspiring, and deeply human figures in Jewish tradition, and in literature in general? Yes, he is. Moshe was an emergent leader, an everyman, a stutterer, and yet he was chosen to lead and speak for his people. He was chosen to write the Torah, the “Instruction,” that has guided us for thousands of years. It doesn't matter that he was not a historical person. What matters is what he stands for. He is the one who directed us in what it is to be Jewish.

Now, fast forward to 538 BCE, around 60 years after the Jews were first taken as captives to Babylon. The Jewish people’s prayers were answered when Persian King Cyrus the Great defeated Babylon in battle, and allowed the Jews to return to Jerusalem, where they began construction on the Second Temple, which was completed around 515 BCE.

The Persian Zoroastrians were henotheistic (they worshiped one God, Ahura Mazda, but they recognized other gods as well). They also had a chief adversarial deity, Angra Mainyu, who was in direct opposition to Ahura Mazda.

Just as the Jews had incorporated Babylonian stories into their texts as a way to preserve their identity as a Jewish people, the Jews now incorporated this idea of “good versus evil” (i.e., It’s better to assimilate the foreign god to us, than to assimilate us to the foreign god).

This shift can be seen in the later story of the Book of Job, which is in the Ketuvim (Writings). Jews have no devil and no hell. There is no “eternal afterlife damnation," and there is no “original sin.” Jews believe in living a good life, right here on earth, and being buried in Jewish soil. Some Jews believe that we go to Sheol when we die, which is a shadowy place of peaceful rest, similar to the Greek realm of Hades. In the Book of Job, the Hebrew word “hassatan” (which Christians transliterate as “Satan”) is just a lawyerly adversary, like a “devil’s advocate” who debates for the other side of the argument. It’s certainly not anything akin to a Christian “devil.”

However, throughout the Second Temple period, various apocalyptic Jewish sects would arise in response to Greek and then Roman persecution, inspired by the Zoroastrian idea of a battle between “the light and the dark.”

In the 1st and 2nd centuries CE, this would lead to a search for the Moshiach: a human leader (not divine) who was descended from the line of King David, and who would restore Jerusalem. And that would not culminate in Jesus (Jews don’t recognize Jesus as Moshiach — for us, he's a really cool dude who said some very profound things, but he's not That Guy).

Rather, the search for Moshiach would stem from the events leading up to the Jewish War, which concluded in 70 CE with the Romans destroying the Second Temple and sacking Jerusalem, and it would culminate in the Bar Kochba revolt between 132 and 135 CE. The Bar Kochba revolt resulted in a Roman campaign of systematic Jewish slaughter and “ethnic cleansing” that nearly destroyed the Jewish people a second time. But that’s a story for another day!

In closing, I encourage you to learn more about Jewish history. And don’t just learn about us from the Holocaust, our darkest hour. Learn about our full history. I highly recommend Sam Aronow’s excellent series on YouTube, which is an ongoing Jewish history project. The YouTube channel Useful Charts also provides excellent overviews of Jewish history.

#tfw a simple ask compels you to write 4000 words #i hope i've answered your question anon! #jewish history #jewish studies #judaism tag

[lilyoffandoms]

Sat on this a few days cuz I wasn’t sure how best to answer the question and I’ve been thinking of leaving the Choices app behind for good for a while now and this ask kinda opened my eyes.

@playchoices is either sticking their heads in the sand and pretending the artists they hire aren’t passing off AI-generated content as their own or they think we are too stupid to identify AI-generated/assisted content in their app. Either way, they are lying to us and are using stolen art to make a profit and that don’t sit right with me.

Given PB’s use of AI generation in the creation of their covers, I will no longer be utilizing the app, nor will I create anything for any of the newer books that utilize this technological theft. I will consider and most likely still create for the older books from before the app’s complete greedy cop-out era but it will be a case by case basis.

In addition, anyone in the Choices fandom (or any fandom for that matter) that uses AI-generators or reblogs AI-generated content will not be eligible to request or be gifted anything from me from here on out. Also, from this point forward, I will only take requests for fics & art if you are off anon to better ensure this.

[More on my stance on requests can be found here under the header, Fic & Art Requests/Commissions.]

Edit: This is not directed at anyone in particular. Yes, anon listed a few names and I have yet to look into those but what’s done is done. I can’t change the past and what I’ve done back then. This is simply talking about moving forward.

#hope this answers your question anon #forgive me for not posting the ask but i don’t want to call out individuals i’ve not looked into myself #ask #anon ask #question ask

[msmargaretmurry]

Anon doing ratnovel reread again - it's an absolute pleasure to (re)immerse myself in this world and these characters, and I know I'm not the only one who loves these extra little insights into haw-verse! Rereading it and knowing the general shape of Leon's side (poor guy with his soft little heart that he gave to Matthew and then...) makes it so much more hurty. Which I love. And speaking of (and I promise I won't bombard you with questions for each moment, probably, but I am still immersed in the feels), what is Leon's side of things when Matthew tells him to leave after the kiss?? Obviously he is heartbroken, but does he cry about it, is he very stoic German, does McDavid take on look at him and facepalm because he KNEW Leon was too much of a softie for this...?

Leon is an idiot.

Sitting in the back of the car back to the hotel, that’s all he can think. He is an idiot. He’s so fucking stupid.

He could think about other things. Matthew’s mouth against his, finally. The hot, desperate way he kissed back. That moment, lying together afterward, when Leon thought, stupidly, idiotically, that he was getting what he wanted. But if he thinks about those things, his hands start to shake and his stomach turns and he is not paying the clean-up fee for throwing up in an Uber, so he stays focused.

He’s an idiot.

He needs another shower, and he’s an idiot.

Not an idiot for thinking Matthew was feeling something even remotely similar to what he felt. No, he’s still painfully sure about that. An idiot for thinking Matthew felt enough — cared enough — to get the fuck over whatever the fuck is wrong with him long enough to have one honest moment. To think he'd see Leon putting himself out there and meet him halfway — not even halfway, a third of the way. A quarter of the way would have been enough. 

At least it’s a short ride.

The hotel lobby is mostly empty at this hour, which Leon is grateful for as he stalks to the elevator, mashes the unlock on the digital key on his phone until it takes him to his floor. If he ran into a teammate right now— he can’t fathom having a conversation. He’s still burning so hot with humiliation that he can hardly see straight. The real world feels far away. Everything is white noise and his own stubborn heart still thudding in his ears.

He needs a shower. He still has Matthew’s come on him, under his clothes, drying on his stomach, sticking to his shirt. The sensation makes him want to puke, but he’s not doing that in a hotel elevator any more than he’s doing it in an Uber.

He’s such a fucking idiot.

In his room, he goes straight to the bathroom, stripping his clothes off with such determination that he pops a button off his shirt, then another as he yanks it off in frustration. He’ll care later, maybe. More likely he’ll just trash the whole shirt. He does not wait for the water to get hot, and cringes when he steps under the cold spray, but it doesn’t deter him from scrubbing himself clean. And it doesn’t take long to warm up. Faster than the water in Matthew’s shower warms up.

He is not going to cry.

Leon’s not an easy crier. He’s emotional, yeah, and he gets choked up easier than some guys, but it’s pretty rare that actual tears fall. But he’s got this tightness in his chest, this pressure behind his eyes, like there’s a dam inside him that wants to break. He rubs his hands over his face as water pours over him, streaming down his back and shoulders, hot enough now that it’s surely turning his skin red. Better than his skin being red from Matthew’s fingers digging into it. A sob tries to push its way up and out of his throat; he bites hard on the heel of his hand, turning it into a sharp, muffled sound.

And he shouldn’t care, he shouldn’t care about what Matthew is doing right now, but, fuck, Leon hopes he feels like shit. He hopes he’s still sitting there alone on his bed, staring at the t-shirt folded on his dresser, feeling like shit.

He presses his palms to his eyes, his breaths coming too fast and too short.

“Fuck,” he yells, the word swallowed up by the steam.

He’s such a fucking idiot.

If he could, he would stand in the shower until the water ran cold. But this is a hotel, so it’s not going to get cold. So instead he stands there until he can breathe without it catching in his throat. Until the pressure behind his eyes eases just enough that the danger of crying is no longer imminent. Until it hits him how fucking exhausted he is and suddenly all he wants is to lie down.

He shuts off the water, towels off, and goes to collapse onto his bed. He nearly steps on his phone on the way, so he scoops it up to take with him, but he doesn’t look at it yet. If Matthew hasn’t texted, it’ll make him want to throw up. If Matthew has texted, that might also make him want to throw up.

At least his life will be a lot less complicated now, he thinks, and that also makes him want to throw up.

He lays there miserably for who knows how long. He’s been miserable before, after losses, after breakups. The entire time they were getting swept in the conference finals last year while his ankle throbbed so badly he could hardly stand. Could hardly think. He wishes he had some kind of real physical injury right now to explain away how much he hurts inside. He’s been miserable before, but not like this.

He’s so tired, but he can’t sleep. The idea of sleeping feels completely foreign, like it’s something he’s never done before and might never do again.

He swallows his nausea and picks up his phone.

Are u still up, he texts Connor, knowing he won’t be. Connor goes to bed at a reasonable hour unless there’s a very good reason not to. He sits and stares at his phone for a few more minutes anyway, scrolling aimlessly through his texts without looking too closely at the conversation with Matthew. The temptation to tap in and backread is there, but he’s not masochistic enough for that. Masochistic enough to get himself into this mess, but not masochistic enough for that. If Matthew texted him right now, maybe. Maybe he’d open the conversation then. Who is he kidding — if Matthew texted right now with an apology, he’d take it. He’d forgive him so fucking fast. But it would have to be tonight. Maybe tomorrow. But only if it’s a real apology. Only if it acknowledges, even a little, that they were doing something real. If Matthew can’t do that, then there’s no point to any of this.

Leon squeezes his eyes closed. He’s not going to fucking cry. He squeezes his phone, willing a text to come through. Nothing.

He can’t fucking do this. He can’t lay here all night thinking about it. He’ll drive himself crazy.

It only takes a moment to find sweatpants, a t-shirt, slides — the bare minimum for leaving the hotel room. He stalks down the hallway and raps on Connor’s door. Hopefully it wakes him up the first time. Leon will keep knocking if he needs to, but he doesn’t want anyone else to hear and come ask him what he’s doing.

There is a long, excruciating minute before the door opens just enough for Connor, tousled and grumpy, to squint into the hallway at him.

“Leo?” he says. “What are you— what’s wrong?”

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Leon asks.

Maybe it’s the way his voice cracks, or maybe there’s something in the look on his face, but Connor’s brow creases and the sleepiness seems to dissipate.

“Yeah, come in,” he says, stepping back so Leon can do that. He’s wearing boxers and a t-shirt so old that there’s a big hole in one armpit. The ensemble makes him look strangely teenaged, like the shy, skinny kid Leon met when they first came into the league, and that for some reason makes him feel a little better about showing up pathetically in the middle of the night because some guy broke his heart.

Connor doesn’t turn on any lights, just crawls back into bed and turns the TV on with the remote. Leon follows, settling on top of the covers instead of under them. Clicking through channels, Connor eventually stops on one showing some sort of disaster action movie that Leon doesn’t recognize.

“Good enough,” Connor mutters. His eyes flick over to Leon. “What happened? You look like shit.”

“Feel like shit,” Leon says, trying for deadpan, but a lump rises up in his throat and all of a sudden he feels like crying again.

Connor looks at him for a long moment, the light from the television distorting the shadows on his face. “Weren’t you going to see Chucky tonight?”

“Yeah,” Leon croaks. He squeezes his eyes shut and is embarrassed to feel a hot tear slide down his cheek. Fuck. He scrubs it away, sniffling and sucking in a ragged breath. “Fuck, sorry.”

“Leo,” Connor says softly. “What happened?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Leon’s voice is tight, wobbly at the edges. “I just want to watch a movie.” Onscreen, some sort of storm is wreaking havoc. People are yelling, but the volume is down pretty low.

There’s another long pause.

“Okay,” Connor finally says. Then, hesitantly, “Do you want a hug?”

Leon kind of really fucking does, but he doesn’t want to open his mouth again, because he will definitely make some sort of awful crying sound. But Connor moves anyway, scooting up and over to wrap his arms around Leon’s shoulders. Leon slumps against him and tries to breathe through it, but the dam inside him feels like it’s about to crack down the middle.

Connor squeezes him, his cheek pressed to Leon’s damp hair.

“Just tell me if you want us to hate him now,” he says. “Because if he doesn’t want you, he’s an idiot.”

#ask #ratnovel #hockey for ts #i started to write a normal answer to this and then was like..... actually i think i just want to write this scene for real lol #hope this is a good answer to your question anon <3

[zetadraconis11]

We know what all HL characters are like personality and behavior but how do you think they behave when they are at MC's home for the first time and meet their parents?

Oh boy. So personally, my MC, Estelle, has been an orphan since she was a baby. So she doesn't know who her actual parents are, and she was raised in an orphanage for fifteen years.

Now, in the bigger picture, for all the MCs out there that have families and parents, I'm sure they'd all be polite. If MC is muggle-born, I'm sure the whole group of friends would try to not act too crazy in front of the family to unnerve. To give the family a good impression of magicfolk. They would TRY to be on their best behavior. Ominis would probably be the most proper, Natty and Amit would be delightfully polite and curious. Poppy would also be nice and probably try to acquaint with any pets MC families have. Sebastian and Garreth would be the most curious about the Muggle things, I'd say. They'd probably ask the most questions, wanting to know more about this other world.

But if Sebastian and Garreth come up with a crazy idea, then you'd best hope it doesn't end up as a fiery disaster. Don't leave them alone near a Muggle gas stove, lol.

Garreth: So this is a gas stove...

Sebastian: Apparently you just light a match and stick it close to the stove.

Garreth: ...So...hypothetically, what do you think would happen if we used Confringo instead to light the stove?

Sebastian:

*a minute later*

MC: We were gone for only a little bit! How did you-?!

Sebastian, covering in soot: Our curiosity blew up in our faces.

Garreth, also covered in soot and repairing the exploded stove and kitchen: Literally.

#It's a good thing garreth and sebastian aren't in the same house lol #I headcanon they're both smart but if they're together they share one braincell #I hope this kind of answers your question anon #Everyone would just be good company with mc families #Because they're good friends #hogwarts mc #sebastian sallow #garreth weasley #ominis gaunt #poppy sweeting #natsai onai #amit thakkar #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy incorrect quotes #hogwarts legacy headcanons

[thosewildcharms]

If Lori had lived do you think Rick and Michonne would’ve still fallen in love? I’m sure most of us do but I’m curious as to how you see an alternate universe like that playing out? I feel like either Rick mirrors Lori and tries to sticks with marriage (either a broken or healing one) and as such it takes even longer for him and Michonne to connect. Or having Lori’s presence actually forces whatever grows between Rick and Michonne to be uncomfortably brought to the surface and instead accelerates their realization of their feelings. What do you think?

hey anon! these are all really interesting questions to think about.

i mean, i definitely think rick and michonne would have fallen in love anyway, and that was before the ones who live came into my house and said yes, definitively, they are soulmates and michonne is the love of his life.

i liked lori, and i think the amount of hate she gets can be unfair and sometimes uncalled for, but i also think she and rick were fundamentally incompatible and that michonne or no michonne, wouldn't have made it in the long run either way. in the very first scene of the show, rick tells shane that he and lori have been having a rough time, that she always seems pissed at him and he doesn't know why. this lack of understanding between them only seems to build over seasons 1 and 2, no matter how hard they're both trying.

that being said, i do think rick had every intention of trying to work things out with lori. he said as much when he was talking to her (to himself) on the phone after she died. specifically, he was going to get them safe first, and then he would "put it back together" as in, work on fixing their relationship. he was angry with her, and extremely hurt, but he still loved her, and at no point do i think he had ever really given up on her. that, i think, is part of why she haunted him for so long and why he felt so much guilt. he never really had a chance to tell her all of that before she was gone.

i don't know how long it would have taken them to call it quits had lori survived childbirth but i do think the chemistry and connection with michonne would have still established itself pretty quickly, and i think rick would definitely feel that innate understanding and connection in sharp contrast to how out of sync he and lori have always been. and i think lori would probably clock it as well. BUT, rick is no cheater - in fact, he's so honorable in that regard that i think as long as he was still focused on working things out with lori he would never let himself even think about going there with someone else. and for her part (and, from what I know, unlike her comic book counterpart but don't quote me on that) michonne would never get within a hundred feet of that situation - romantically - until it was completely resolved. this show doesn't really do love triangles (even shane/lori/rick wasn't so much a love triangle as it was a vehicle for rick's growth) so i think rick and lori's relationship would end and resolve itself on its own without any interference.

so with all of that in mind, i think rick and michonne would still have been a slow burn that matched pretty closely with what we saw in canon, except this time instead of rick having to get past the grief of losing lori, it would be just be the decline and resolution of that relationship that had he'd have to work through. while that was happening, i think rick and michonne would still naturally build their relationship, which would be platonic until it wasn't, just like in canon. for example, i think they'd still find it very easy to open up to each other, still be like-minded in most areas, michonne would still bond with carl. they'd still like being around each other and understand each other in ways no one else really could. and then they'd realize they were in love once they were safe and available to examine their own feelings. i think they'd still have been quietly and subconsciously in love with each other for a long while, but unready and/or unable to do anything about it until suddenly they were. so they could very much still mirror canon in that regard.

as for exactly how it would happen beat by beat, well. i'm no fanfic writer lol but i think there could be some subconscious yearning in there as well. as a treat.

#answered #richonne #twd #i hope this answered your question anon! apologies if i misunderstood what you were asking #or if this is a very boring take lol

[atlas-library]

Giggling and kicking my feet and twirling my hair and going "oh my gawd" every time I re-read the nsfw alphabet that you did of toge your brain is so huge💞 gigantic even. You said you don't think he talks during those times (understandable), but do you think he doesn't even like...say tuna? If he has to say something (best dirty talk ever)? Actually, do you think he ever has to fight off the urge to actually speak and say something during sex, and then gets like. Upset at himself inside?

Okay so first of all, I'm gonna cry, this is the sweetest comment ever omg 🥹🥹 I haven't given up on this blog btw, I haven't posted in a while but I just got sick + I have a new job starting soon + somehow the creative juice got sucked out of me, BUT I'M STILL HERE AND THIS COMMENT!!! IT GIVES ME MORE REASONS TO KEEP PESTERING Y'ALL!!! 😭😭😭 so yeah tysm for your comment it just made my night 🥹🥹💗💗

Okay, regarding your questions (nsfw, so find it under the cut!!)

I actually think he would use some rice-ingredient words!

In-between the moans and whimpers, the pants and grunts coming from you both, he would probably ask how you're doing— A small "Mustard leaf?", or even some "Tuna tuna!" when he feels you drift away. And if you ask him how he's holding up, he'd try to give you a shaky "S-salmon..!" so you keep going.

I just think overall he tries to keep quiet, mostly because of how insatiable he is and thus how long sessions can be— If it's his first or second orgasm, he's not necessarily going to slip out. He has enough control to remember he can't fully let go. The more you go on, though... well, you both remember the time when he screamed of pleasure— That was wild, even for him. Sometimes you leave him a crying mess, and all you can do is watch as he pants and lets out unintelligible whimpers.

I also definitely think he would try to say your name. I headcanon Toge with a speech impediment, mainly him stuttering and stammering because he doesn't often get to pronounce new words; he knows his commands by heart, as well as Yuuta's name (and even then, he would pronounce it "Yuuda" at first). However, I think he'd try very hard to pronounce everyone else's names correctly, especially if he got caught doing it and basically got the equivalent of a pat on the head. For his significant other, it's clear he'd try his hardest: he can't tell you how important you are to him, so he'll try to do something simple yet very meaningful for the both of you. He'll try to pronounce your name, without stuttering— And it might slip out during sex.

Whenever he uses it, even though it doesn't seem to affect him, it does affect you: you can't say if it's actual cursed energy or simply your feelings for him, but you find yourself staring at him, admiring his features and drinking any sound leaking from his lips.

🍵 Okay, let's take a breather now. 🍵

...

🍵 Breathe in.. breathe out. 🍵

About your last question— Toge's curse is being a passionate soul forced to silence. He hides it well, but he feels a lot; he's a control freak, similar to Maki (even though they'd never admit it), because that's how he hurts the least amount of people. Before the school, before Gojo, before Panda (his first friend)— Toge was alone. He wouldn't say a word, hands would be shoved against his mouth if he dared breathe too loud. The only person who never shushed him nor feared him ended up being cursed by him— Clearly, everyone's better off far away from him.

The problem is, Toge is a lover. I'm an Inuokko shipper first and foremost so this might be where this idea comes from, but, even platonically, I think Toge would be the one to relate most to Rika. They're like two sides of the same coin when it comes to love. @gelatosushix made a wonderful post about it, so I won't dive too deep into this, but basically: Rika kills when she loves, but Toge dies when he loves.

A common mistake would be comparing Toge to a moth, drawn to fire and getting burnt by it. Toge isn't the moth; he's the flame. You're the moth. He's captivating, he has this mysterious aura yet somehow seems like an open book, but only if you ask the right questions— Only if you learn his language (and I'm not talking about rice ingredients). He intoxicates you, draws you in with his gaze (whether a purple wine with violet droplets, or a fiery brown with amber lights).

Then, he pulls his collar down: tattoos, or maybe burn scars, marking his cheeks and tongue as death takes the form of a baby-faced man. He's a weapon, one even Maki can't wield. He's feared. And yet— The raspiness of his voice, the deep accents scratching his throat— They get to you. Stupid moth flying to its death. At least it'll be sweet, you think.

Toge kills for people, because killing goes hand-in-hand with dying in his case. Toge loves by pushing away; that's how it's always been, that's what he's been taught. Yet you're here— You're holding him, stroking his cheek, singing his name, giving yourself to him. It feels right, it feels like everything he's ever wanted, it feels like so little yet so much to him— And he hates it.

You deserve it all and he deserves nothing. You deserve words. Not silly ones, actual words— But he can't say it. He can't stutter that he loves you, because what if? He could curse you. He could ruin your life, and Toge's already ruined so many lives in the past— It weighs on his soul, yet he can endure it; as long as you're not the next accursed.

So he bites down. On your skin, on his hand, on the pillow— Anything, anywhere. He bites down to keep the sounds from coming out. And if you reassure him, tell him that you know, he doesn't need to say it— He starts crying. He hates himself, he hates his curse, he hates the fucking marks on his face.

His hips slam against yours, he grabs at your skin; you're near, he knows it. He knows you by heart, that's the least he can do.

Deeper, deeper, deeper— You reach the stars first, but he follows soon after. And he keeps crying. He cries the rest of the night, even with you holding him and whispering against his lips. He has to grab onto you so he doesn't run to the bathroom to desperatly try and wash his markings off.

Toge is a lover, a passionate soul forbidden from opening his heart; he hates emotional sex because of how much his heart bleeds from it. It ignites his flame, lures you in even more; and when his cries fill the room, when he hugs you tight— It's like you're a butterfly, pinned by the thorns of a rose you were drinking from.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk headcanons #toge #inumaki toge #toge inumaki #toge headcanons #toge x reader #toge smut #atlas answers #atlas writes #atlas headcanons #atlas posts #(i hope it answered your questions! i got a bit carried away🥹) #(it gets me so shy for no reason🥹 hopefully you like it..) #👀 anon

[misc-obeyme]

wait wait wait, is it just me or has there just...never been a diavolo-centric event yet? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? and are there any other characters who haven't gotten a single event yet? like, i'm a solomon lover but damn him, barbatos etc. (or just them?) have gotten two events and then there's (supposedly, i think, idk i'm asking) diavolo and...presumably others (who i'm not aware of because i honestly do not keep up with events apart from looking for enough spoilers to see if it's worth it for me to go search up more about it, but never play it myself obviously lol) as well? like...am i missing out on something? i think i might be? isn't that unfair or is there something i was supposed to know? because i haven't seen a single SOUL ask about him so far (or am i not looking hard enough?)???

Okay, anon. This question sent me down the rabbit hole because I was like I need to look this up.

So with the help of the Obey Me! Wiki, I have determined a few things about the Spotlight events.

I had noticed that sometimes events were focused on a character, but didn't list them as being in the spotlight. For instance, the Scroll of Thirst event was very much about Solomon, but no spotlight was listed. I felt like the Chess event was also very focused on Belphie, but again no spotlight. Or the Blue Para event being mostly about Levi.

This happens when it's a Celestial Blessing event and there are outfits for multiple characters. Those events seem to be focused on those characters, as if they were having a spotlight event. But there is no mention of the spotlight and I suppose it's because they don't want players to think that there's only one outfit for that character? Either way, that seems to be the distinction.

That being said, there are plenty of events that do list specific spotlights. So with that in mind, I went through them to see who we have had spotlighted.

The results are rather uneven. The events were either a solo spotlight or a shared spotlight with two characters. Here's the breakdown:

Lucifer - 1 solo, 1 shared Mammon - 2 solo, 2 shared Levi - 1 shared Satan - 2 solo, 1 shared Asmo - 2 solo, 2 shared Beel - 1 solo Belphie - 1 solo

Diavolo - none Barbatos - 3 solo Simeon - 1 solo, 1 shared Solomon - 1 solo Luke - none

Not sure how much people care about Luke, but for the record he also hasn't had a spotlight.

I was SHOCKED to see that Lucifer only had one solo event. And inexplicably Barb has had THREE??? LOL two of them were about sports and the other one was about video games. Make it make sense.

Anyway, as you can see Diavolo has also not had one. I think you could argue that Levi hasn't either, since he's only had one that he shared with Satan.

So you aren't missing anything, it is an unfair distribution. I know it took us forever to get Beel & Belphie events. I don't know why they're doing it this way, but it's pretty dumb. I can only assume we'll eventually get a Diavolo spotlight event because aside from Luke, he's the only one who hasn't had one.

For reference, here is the list of the spotlight events in the order they happened and which characters they spotlighted. Putting it under a read more because this post is already really long lol.

Starting with events that were only in OG.

Satan: A Star for You Barbatos: Super Smash Devils Mammon & Asmo: Princess Rose Simeon: A Weird White Day

The rest of these were in NB as well.

Lucifer & Asmo: The Cursed Seed and the Fertilizing Flame Simeon & Mammon: RAD on Stage Satan & Levi: Whisked Away Mammon: Hell Marine Festival Lucifer: Terrible Time Trouble Asmo: Devil's Water Panic! Barbatos: Fangol Ultra Bowl Mammon: An A-mazing Adventure Asmo: Fabulicious Beel: The Great Devildom Outdoors Satan: Exciting Inn-cidents! Solomon: Bon Voyage! Belphie: Poison Hunting & Candy Making! Barbatos: Dust Storm Panic

#anyway I got a little too obsessed with the details perhaps #but I hope this answered some of your questions! #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me events #anon asks #misc answers

[ailendolin]

was wondering what your thoughts are on the prank alison played on thomas? Cuz on one hand, yeah, it was wayyyyy more harsh than any of the pranks played on the others and was the only one that was deliberately designed to strike him where it hurts especially since she knows about his history with isabelle

but on the other hand, i think she just likes everyone else more than thomas? and who can blame her when he's been disrespecting her boundaries for years. Kitty can be needy but its different with a younger sister type character who just wants affection vs thomas who has been hitting on her for years even though she's very clearly happily married

im not sure where i stand on this

Thank you for this ask, anon! I've actually been meaning to make a post about the prank in 5x01 so this is the perfect excuse to finally get around to writing it.

But before I do that, I just want to stress that my opinion is just that - an opinion. I've been getting quite a few Thomas asks recently and while I do appreciate that very much because I love to talk about him, my interpretation of his character is just one of many and it's perfectly fine if you or anyone else sees things differently. My take on him doesn't hold more weight than any other.

With that being said, here are my thoughts on the prank and Thomas's vs. Kitty's behaviour - long post incoming:

I'm probably in the minority here but I found Alison’s prank on Thomas downright cruel, especially when you compare it to her other pranks. It wasn't some harmless fun - that prank was designed to hurt him, and I think that crosses a line. Because Thomas, for all his annoying habits, for all his ridiculous love declarations and inability to take a hint, has always backed down when Alison told him to. He hasn't stopped altogether (which technically speaking is partly Alison's own fault because of the, "I could kiss you," line and not just his for lack of trying) but whenever she gets fed up with him, he actually listens and shuts up - which I think is something people often tend to overlook.

Also, Thomas's 'love' for Alison is a theoretical thing: something for him to fixate on that is safe because he knows nothing will ever come of it. It's why we only ever see him 'fall in love' with living women who are, by nature, out of his reach. Thomas doesn't really want to be with them. It's why he downright panics when Alison seems to return his feelings in 5x01. He likes the idea of taking a walk with her in the gardens and holding her hand; the thought of kissing her under the mistletoe - the romantic ideal of it. But 5x01 makes it quite clear that he never expected it to become real, and that he isn't as keen on physical intimacy as he sometimes pretends either. I don't think he's ready for the vulnerability that comes with loving someone and being loved in return, and him dying alone and unloved plays a huge role in that. Because that's how he ghosts too. And I don't mean that in a romantic way. Thomas isn't particularly close to any of the other ghosts, not like Julian and Robin are, or Fanny and the Captain. He doesn't have a best friend because he's always the butt of the joke and no one takes him seriously or even pretends to like him. Is it really a surprise he clings to a love that is safe because it only exists in his mind?

That doesn't change anything for Alison, of course. But I'll go so far as to say she never even tried to understand him. The way she treated him when he came to her to talk about his death showed that. If she'd been as gentle and understanding and patient with him as she was with the Captain during the therapy session and actually listened and talked to him, the whole 'love' thing could have probably been resolved early on. But as was mentioned here, there are moments when she even encourages his behaviour and seems to miss his attention. That's sending very mixed signal to someone who is desperate for love, and makes her prank even more cruel. Given the circumstances, it's obviously understandable that out of her ghostly family she likes him the least as you mentioned (I think her listing him as a con for staying at Button House is pretty much proof of that) but it just feels like she's never really made an effort when it comes to him and just like the ghosts, never gave him the chance to open up. Instead, she uses his deepest pain against him with her prank, once again not taking the hurt he felt over his death seriously, and that's just not right.

On the matter of Kitty: it's interesting that you use the phrase "disrespecting boundaries" for Thomas and the word "needy" for Kitty because I'd actually say it's the other way around. People always regard Thomas's behaviour as creepy because his love for Alison is (seemingly) of a romantic nature whereas Kitty's love is regarded as sisterly and thus deemed acceptable and even sweet. But I've actually gone through every episode of series 1 once to note down all the times the ghosts cross lines with Alison and you know what? It's Kitty who does it most severely (along with Mary). The most Thomas does is phase through Alison's bedroom wall once without being invited in and looking through the bathroom door while Alison is showering (where the others are present so this was clearly part of the plan to haunt her for which Thomas, predictably, volunteered). Kitty, however? She's in Alison's bed twice and watches her and Mike sleep another time. I don't know about you but I'd rather have someone walk into my bedroom once than wake up with a stranger in my bed or in my room.

But maybe that's just me. So let's take a look at Kitty's 'sisterly' behaviour. The biggest difference between her and Thomas is that Kitty doesn't back down on her own. If it were up to her, Alison's life would revolve her. She doesn't accept that Alison has other friends (the tantrum at the party Alison and Mike threw) or god forbid another sister. She is very vocally against Lucy from the start and only stops when Alison calls her out on it (which parallels 4x02 when Alison told Thomas to stop - though in that case Alison is merely fed up whereas she is actually hurt by Kitty's behaviour). Kitty demands and expects Alison's attention in a way Thomas never has. He's always been content to love her from afar whereas Kitty inserts herself into Alison's life as best as she can and throws a tantrum when she doesn't get her way and often manages to guilt-trip Alison into giving in (the phone call at the party).

Kitty's obsessive behaviour got tuned down in later series but it was there and it was not cute. I found it very off-putting, to be honest, and I never understood why people thought it was cute. Obviously, these are just my personal thoughts and feelings on the matter. I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this (cue anon hate in 3, 2, 1...) because they love the idea of Kitty as this young, sweet, naive girl. But I think if you're calling Thomas out for his behaviour (which you should because as much as I love him, he shouldn't romance a married woman, no matter the reasons), you shouldn't ignore Kitty's actions just because her love for Alison is platonic rather than romantic. That doesn't make what she does okay.

#I hope this answers your question anon #sorry it took so long to reply #thomas thorne #kitty higham #alison cooper #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts spoilers #mp bbc ghosts #ask