Tumgik
#i just literally dont know how to process my feelings rn
love4hobi · 6 months
Text
.
20 notes · View notes
weenhands · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
6 notes · View notes
faraum · 1 year
Text
There are certain things i am not equipped to handle and im trying so hard to calm myself but of course the second i start feeling ok again i get another message that i cannot fucking handle and i am tired of having to tell someone i love that i cannot help them rn like i am going to explode if one more person tries to message me tonight
3 notes · View notes
rewrentless · 7 months
Text
.
#i am not doing well#i overheard my parents the other night talking about how they dont accept me that they dont believe in nonbinary genders and how they#hate it so much#ive been out for 6 years and i know they struggle to understand especially my dad but my mum has always said she supports and accepts me#she helped me legally change my name and said her and my dad would pay for my top surgery if it ever happened#shes always doing research and asking questions so i thought she understood at least a little#i feel betrayed and abandoned by the only people in my family who i thought actually accepted me and would stand up for me#guess it was a fucking lie#this is literally my worst fear come true im so anxious and scared of people making fun of me behind my back or#lying that they like or accept me out of pity#i dont know how to wrap my head around that i cant trust my mum my comfort person#i feel like an idiot ive been saying for years how lucky i am to have parents who are trying who support me who encourage me to be who i am#turns out theyre no better than my aunt who blamed me for turning my cousin gay and trans they just lied cause they thought id kill myself#ive been wanting to move out for a while cause if my dads drinking and temper but i cant stanf being near them rn#i cant really do anything though cause nearly all the student accommodation is full and i dont know the process for renting#my mum has me so sheltered from reality i dont know how to do anything#im so tired
1 note · View note
bixiaoshi · 1 year
Text
not having someone older than me telling me that im still young and i can still start doing things at whatever age rlly got me fucked up
0 notes
elliereject · 30 days
Text
ifhy .1
* in which ellie’s obsession relationship with you begins to sour as your romance with your new boyfriend seems to flourish. it seems she’ll stop at nothing to ensure your happiness, (which you’ll find with her, obviously) even if it means hurting you in the process.
* lowkey obsessive ellie, (I LIKE EM’ A LITTLE CRAZY!), angst + comfort (next chapter(s), infidelity, unrequited feelings yet also mutual pining (just read it like, idk idk I forgot how to do these),lmk if I missed anything!
* im back, ok not really this has been rotting in my drafts forever and I was reading it back and I was like damn I lowk cooked with this. It’s unfinished as of RN but this is only 1/3 of the fic im just splitting it up so u don’t have to wait months,,for it..like my other fics..DONT ASK ME ABT THOSE, cuz I don’t got an answer. IN THE MEAN TIME ENJOY THIS! <3
* mdni (but like if u do wtvr, nothing crazy happens in this chapter)
wc ~ 1.6k
pt. 2 here
Tumblr media
Ellie Williams fucking hated you.
Surprisingly, she didn’t at first. In fact, she was in love with you, bordering infatuation.
She had seen you for the first time at the local bookstore before the semester started, you were flipping through a book about time and relativity with a concentrated look on your face. She smiled to herself when she saw you push up onto your toes to reach for another book but to no avail. She took this as an opportunity to walk up to you and reach over your head to grab it, making sure to flex her lean, tattooed arm before placing it in your hand.
Her jade eyes locked on yours and your face heated immediately, you mumbled a “Thank you.” Before scurrying past her to the checkout.
Imagine her surprise when on the first day of classes, she walks into her astrophysics course and sees you, doodling in your notebook with that same concentrated look on your face.
Of course, she sits next to you, flashing that charming smile that has sweat gathering at your hands. She tells you her name then asks for yours and learns about your major, favourite course, and how you’re staying in a little apartment just outside the campus before more students and your professor filed in. You didn’t know why but you just felt so comfortable telling her things, She laughed at your corny jokes and made even cornier ones, and she admired the doodles that covered your notebook and the little duck pen you used.
You didn’t want to speak too soon, but it was safe to say you were harbouring a tiny bit of a crush on her.
Ellie on the other hand, was completely ready to admit it. She felt her love for you grow each second she was around you. Your smile quite literally felt like the sun shining upon her, your laugh made her want to drop her studies of space to pick up stand-up comedy just so she could make it her job to make you laugh. In her eyes, everything you did was perfect. Her thoughts were completely consumed by you, you, you.
And for a few months, things were amazing! You had been introduced to Dina and Jesse and even spent Halloween hanging out with the trio watching horror movies and eating each other's weight in candy. When the holidays rolled around you and Ellie, along with the others, cozied up under some blankets and made fun of cheesy Hallmark movies while she tried her hardest not to interlock her hands with yours even after your pinky brushed against hers for the sixth time.
During finals, Ellie and you organized designated study days that usually ended in giggling at stupid memes on each other's phones or late-night food runs. Of course, there were lingering touches and flirtatious glances here and there but you were too shy to act on it and Ellie would rather die than make you uncomfortable so she kept you just at arm's length. Besides, she knew you were too timid to approach anyone else, so in a way she had you all to herself.
Then, you met him. Some motherfucker whose name she didn’t care to remember. However, she did remember the innate feeling of anger that surged through her body when you gushed to her about him and how he was a history major and the way his glasses framed his face perfectly and whatever the fuck else you found interesting about him.
She nodded and laughed and smiled along with you when you would drone on about him but would excuse herself to the bathroom to tend to the crescent-shaped wounds in her palms from digging her fingers into them so hard.
She tried her best to not show these negative emotions to you because she knew how much you didn’t like when she got mad but fuck was it hard. Especially that one night when you were out with him and you hadn’t replied to her texts in over 5 hours. Man did her drywall take some damage that night.
And when you finally did reply you had completely disregarded her message and went on to boast about the time you had and how gentlemanly he was. All she could do was reply with a dry “sounds like fun🙂” before she went back to throwing a tantrum around her room and tormenting that poor wall…she’d have to remember to buy some spackle before the end of the semester.
Then, there was the time she trekked over to your apartment with some pizza for a surprise movie night and saw the bouquet placed in front of your door. She set the box down to pick up the flowers and read who it was from, her body reacted before she could rethink. She tore the flowers from the beautifully wrapped packaging and stomped on them over and over and over until all that was left were broken stems and tattered petals.
Thankfully, you got home just a few minutes later and missed her outburst. You gasped when you saw the smashed flowers and asked her what had happened, she shrugged and lied easily, claiming it was like this when she got there. She let out a breath when you shook your head and sighed, saying it was probably your next-door neighbor who had always been a bit of a grouch.
She had genuinely thought she was doing a pretty good job of hiding her true feelings for both you and him but it was when you gleefully announced that he was officially your boyfriend she knew she was done for. You squealed and pulled her in for a hug but it felt like her heart had shriveled up into a clump of black coal and woosh like magic, her love for you had turned into something twisted, something possessive.
It was when you invited her over to your apartment to eat dinner with him that she had started considering the idea that you knew she had a crush on you and you were just fucking with her emotions for fun.
How could you start dating, let alone seeing some random ass motherfucker when she was right here! She knew she could treat you better than he could even dream of, she knew everything about you and she’d make it known to you how perfect she was for you, one way or another.
That night at dinner she sat uncomfortably as you fluttered around your tiny kitchen, adding last-minute touches to the spaghetti you made and despite the grumble in her tummy it felt like she had no appetite when she watched the hungry way he looked at you, as if you were a juicy steak and he was a starved wolf.
Once you were finished plating the food and placing it on the table you sat down eagerly and tried your best to mediate the obvious tension.
“Soo uh, Ellie, you’ve been really into watercolour recently right?” You beamed.
“Uh-huh.” She said dryly, twirling her spaghetti around her fork.
“Oh that’s cool, you know watercolour as an art form has been around since Egyptian times! It’s funny to think that like—Cleopatra was painting with water and grapes or something!” He spoke and you giggled like it was the funniest joke in the world. She shot you a look that said really? because she knows she could make a joke that was way funnier, and would expel your real laugh.
“That’s cool. You know how to shut the fuck up?” She mumbled into her bite of spaghetti.
“Sorry?” He asked and you gave her a sideways glance.
She smiled tightly and swallowed before answering, “Just said that’s cool!”
Dinner dragged on as he droned about the history of the Renaissance or fucking Christopher Columbus, she didn’t actually know, she tuned him out. After you cleared the plates, you ushered them into your cozy living room for a movie and when you excused yourself to the bathroom she plopped down on the couch next to him, subtly pulling out her switchblade.
“So, Kevin—“
“Actually my name—“
“I don’t give a fuck what your name is, matter fact I don’t give a fuck about you in general. What are your intentions with ★?”
The man tensed up as Ellie expertly spun the blade around in her fingers.
“Uh—I mean, she seems cool and dating her has been pr—“
“Cool?” Ellie scoffed, “She’s fucking perfect, and I hope you know whatever you have going on with her right now? It won’t last. Soon she’s gonna see you for the limp-ass motherfucker you are.”
He was taken aback, “What?—I’m sorry, did I do something to offend you?”
“Your whole existence offends me.” She rasped, inching her blade closer to his neck. “She’s not meant to be with you.”
He furrowed his brows, “You like her, don’t you?”
Ellie rolled her eyes, “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
Before he could reply you were back from the bathroom and she slipped her blade back into her pocket and got up with a firm grip on his shoulder.
“What were you two talking about?” You asked as you grabbed a bag of chips from your small coffee table and tore into them.
“Oh you know, girl talk.” She smiled, digging her blunt nails into his shoulder. Translation: don’t say a fucking word.
You rolled your eyes playfully like you even had a clue of what was going on, “He’s not a girl, dumbass.”
She shrugged, stepping away from her previous seat to plop down on the other small sofa.
The rest of the night proceeded relatively smoothly, your boyfriend had been so shaken up by Ellie’s words that even with you sitting next to him he kept his distance with worried glances toward Ellie now and then. Ellie crunched on her popcorn happily and watched the movie with a satisfied smile and a chipper aura.
— ★
🤔 shall I put out the second part? only time (and interactivity! 💝 pls don’t let this flop) will tell!
194 notes · View notes
bones-of-a-rabbit · 7 months
Text
u can never have too many au ideas (aka the cursed-sun/moon au)
(im copy n pasting this from discord bc im lazy sorry y'all fsjhf)
other au idea: Sun is a ruler or lord in a fantasy world or smthn and Moon is the form he's been Cursed into turning into each night. Reader is a low-tier magic-weilder (who has a secret past that involves smthn rlly Bad and they used to have a reasonable amount of respectability in th community but now theyre shunned and cant get a job anywhere and also has a big scar and/or only one eye lol) who's one remaining ability is the ability to lift minor curses or plagues. Sun has been searching for someone who can 'bless' the curse of Moon (or whatever is making Moon be nasty murderous bloodthirsty man) for ages but mages r rare and most of them spend maybe one night trying to cure Moon before either getting got or being scared into getting tf outta there
so eventually word reaches Sun of a mage who's been looking for work, with the only catch being that they arent very powerful and no one has much to say abt them, and Sun, who has burnt every single thread he has trying to find a mage, is like GOOD ENOUGH CALL THEM HERE
and reader is like 'oh shit this is potentially a rlly good job, the only catch is that i have to deal w a demon possessed guy thats like twice my height and three times as strong,,' and like. bc they have Zero Options and also feel like their life has run itself into th ground and there is little left for them/no way to get themselves out of their Issues, they r like 'yeah sure its gonna take a while bc i can only perform minor magic but i'll do whatever i can to see that this curse is delt with'
and instead of trying to face Moon head on, they start with just kinda,, getting to know him. he's kept chained/locked away in a chamber every night to keep ppl safe, but every night reader goes into the chambers, sits at a tea table just out of his reach, and just. talks with him
they dont entertain his trying to mess w them, taunting, cruelty, etc, but they talk when there's the chance for standard conversation. at first it's hell bc Moon is a little shit and he never cooperates. he never answers questions, he spends the entire night threatening to tear them apart and savor their insides, etc. they bring him a cup of tea every night, and every time he smashes the cup and throws the pieces at them
ok well point is eventually Moon starts to mellow out around them, will actually sit and have conversation with them, one day is like 'you think i dont know what youre doing?? youre just trying to bore me into falling for ur trap so u can kill me. i like ur style but its not gonna work >:3'
and reader is like 'i literally do not have enough magic to kill a toad let alone a whole entire possessed person' and moon is like ',, huh. so what IS ur goal here??' and reader is like 'i want to lift ur curse for both u and Sun's sakes. i gave u my word, and i will follow through, at the very least to clear my own conscience of a past sin'
and so eventually Moon, out of curiosity, and later bc he likes spending time with reader, starts letting them cast the healing magic on him, breaking the curse little by little every night
and at the same time all this is happening, reader is spending mornings and evenings with Sun and keeping him up to date on how the process is going and, eventually, becoming the person he turns to when he's stressed or tired or rlly just wants company
and idk smthn smthn eventually both of them rlly want Reader and they dont know how to act so they just b making fools of themselves but reader is a dumbass so theyre just confused
(Moon absolutely tells Reader abt every 'oh man i rlly wanna kiss kiss snuggle smooch the mage rn' thought Sun has during the day but Reader is so used to Moon being a little shit n making shit up to mess with them that they r just like ._. )
the plot twist part,,
(the secret dark past that reader is hiding is that they used to be a local mage for a nearby town who was known and respected for giving 'blessings' to ppl for small fees but one day for Reasons, they cast a curse upon someone and one of the biggest no-no's a mage can do is Curse someone so the town practically rioted, tore them down from their pedestal, called upon another mage to strip reader of their magic, and then cast them out)
(rn im considering the idea that the person reader Cursed is Vanny, who, because of her own curse, eventually went on to be the one who cursed Sun and Moon)
118 notes · View notes
lains-reality · 9 months
Note
the hardest i keep trying to remain uninterested towards my thoughts and reaffirm that im awareness only and not the ego the more i feel angry that absolutely nothing is happening, not even feeling peace or fulfillment or anything, probably because i went into nd thinking its the same thing as loa and just wanting to get things but rn im done trying to convince myself that i dont care what my thoughts or my reality is, i dont know what to do about any of this anymore because ive read so much information (including the books ada shared) and now my brain feels fried and cant process shit i have no idea of where to go from here
firstly. take a break.
honestly, i've been thinking about honesty lol. i've realised that a lot of what i've been doing is to see a manifestation or feel love. but i never wanted to admit it. i might not ever have any """evidence""" for why i am pure awareness - my ego wants to understand. but i've moved on from trying to make it understand or convincing it. its perfectly fine as it is. it can walk, it can intelectualise (something that i actually want to stop doing with nd!), it can talk. thats okay with me. i don't want to demand or force anything more of it. i know what happens when i force my mind to do something, its a complete mess. i know that for the manifestations i want, that it requires me not to be a body-mind. it require something more. something timeless, boundless, etc. i cannot demand that from my body or mind. so i've decided to move past them, work with them when needed and soothe them when needed.
doing the inner work, depending on your ego, might be a thing you need to do (in fact i'd say that everyone needs to do it). its hard to just force yourself to disbelieve and detach. especially when forcing is not what you're supposed to do.
if you're in my inbox then you've read my posts, right?
so you see that i've recommended self inquiry before yes? and that i've put up books? you sound like you haven't read my posts? i've been reblogging so much and talked several times about no forcing!!
give yourself a chance. calm down. you're putting so much pressure on the body-mind to see your Self, BUT IT CAN'T, you are not that which you can observe!! you can't observe Self, THATS WHY THE MIND WILL NEVER GET IT! stop trying to force yourself to see your divinity, just appriciate the divinity you see now (you're literally ALIVE, breathing!! look at the world, you as Self created for YOU. Self fell in love with the character so much it forgot it was not it!!)
you're looking for some woo-woo magical experience that forever changes you - these ideas about enlightenment are not it. whatever ideas about enlightenment the mind had, throw it in the bin.
before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. after enlightenment - chop wood, carry water!! you'll be going through the world the same, except in how you see the world.
enlightenment is a destruction. its a destruction in how you see the world and yourself. that's it. in the end, you'll feel peace (as others have said so) but you're not there, are you? you're trying to get rid of ego through ego. stop.
you'll never know Self, until you see it yourself. this is through experiments and practise.
stop reading if its frying you're brain. you're entire ask can be solved by "ok i'm gonna take a break this is too much". please the answer to your questions is not some magical shit! this is why i've said before KEEP IT SIMPLE.
this goes to all anons now (not just you anon!) LEARN HOW TO EMOTIONALLY REGULATE YOURSELF. i might just make a big post on this or something.
reading
starting the journey
i've shared this too many times now
another regular article i share
disbelieve
how to let go of vanessa
i'm sorry more ada posts
another one
read this one
LEAVE VANESSA ALONE
79 notes · View notes
asmobeuses · 7 months
Note
Asmo give me any atsushi hcs fluff, angst destory my atsushi lover self DO IT!!!!!
Tumblr media
Me ^
Atsushi HCS!
Warnings: Insecurity, mentions of bickering and arguments, hurt/comfort (u said angsty. Ask and u shall receive.)
Tumblr media
I apologize in advance if these r ooc, I don't know much about his character UEUEUEUEUE💔
Tumblr media
Tjis fucking loserboy!! He's completely whipped for u no doubt about it
He's constantly doting on you! Making sure you're okay, tending to any of your needs,
,,,making sure you're okaaaayyyy
(Ran out of things he does it's 3am spare me)
Treats you as if you're married lol
"Astushi we don't even live together"
Tumblr media
Him cuz u said that
"How could you" :(
Apologize rn.
> Angst below the cut
Angsty (this is my shit right here)
He was very insecure about your relationship when it first began
He would always make sure to go above and beyond because he thought you'd leave him if he "wasn't enough" :((
Hug kiss and tell him he's important to you right NEOW!!!
No but fr his love language besides physical contact r words of affirmation
He constantly needs reassurance.
He may not need as much further on into your relationship, but don't think that means u stop giving it to him 🤨 (pause.)
Obviously like any couple, yall will have occasional disagreements that MIGHT turn into arguments if you're not careful
He loves you but damn does he get heated and passionate when it comes to his views on smth
At the end of each one he feel rlly bad tho, even if he wasn't the one who started it
Tumblr media
Literally him after yall argue
Yall always end up making out up after every argument yall have.
You both end up forgetting about it after a night of movies n snacks n cuddles
The next day the Ada r like "you guys are on talking terms again?"
U and atushi in unison: "we weren't?"
Bonus angst
Thinking about atushi's reaction to you wanting a break and what caused it.
You love your boyfriend with every fiber of your being
But that doesn't mean you have the space on your shoulders to carry both his and your baggage.
Obviously you're there for eachother during your lowest, dont get me wrong!
There will be moments where his past is weighing in on him and he wants nothing but your reassurance!!
Butttttt his judgement gets clouded sometimes and he loses his emotional intelligence
Causing him not to notice when you're down in the dumps.
And this varies for whoever reading obv but in this case let's say you're the type of person to bottle up your emotions until one little thing tips the cup over
You end up blowing up at him over something small, really only because of how overwhelming your emotions got.
Now it's your turn to be like
Tumblr media
(Hopefully) You end up feeling very guilty about your outburst
"Look, atsushi, I really think we need some time apart."
Whether you say that bevause you feel horrible about blowing up at him or you just need time alone to process your emotions is up to you 🫡
Prepare to be bombarded with questions.
"Are you breaking up with me?" no "Are you getting tired of me?" no "Is it because of something I did?" no
The list goes on
For the love of all things holy please make him shut up tell him you love him and just need time to yourself!!
He will understand and respect your decision, but prepare for him to look like a kicked puppy
Er... kitten?
Some type of cute creature that makes your heart clench when it looks sad.
Sorry idk where I'm going w this anymore
Yall always have a happy ending tho!! No matter what, there's no force that can keep you away from eachother permanently.
Tumblr media
Would you like some coffee fluff with your sugar ansgt?
40 notes · View notes
ritsukaaoyagi · 8 days
Text
*heart palpitations* like to soubi, ritsuka is his sacrifice first and a person second for a while. i know soubi acknowledges him as a child in volume three which for sure kick starts a kind of growth in their relationship (vol 3 in general... sighs wistfully) but still obviously struggles with how to treat and view ritsuka... mostly because he is projecting onto ritsuka and using him to fulfill his own "needs"... or whatever... like he kind of uses ritsuka to unravel. but soubi really emphasizing ritsuka's status as his Sacrifice is still kind of shaky because he obviously does not obey him in the same way he would with like seimei or ritsu. and obviously this has to do with not necessarily ritsuka being a child but ritsuka just obviously treating soubi decently and clearly not taking the fighter/sacrifice dynamic as seriously as soubi does and having no interest in that... so ritsuka is safe to disobey.......... some of it also has to do with ritsuka being a kid but i dont feel like getting into that rn it's clear... AURRMMM LIKE IDK BASICALLY i just think soubi treats ritsuka Like That mostly because he doesn't know how else to treat him obviously like Where would someone like soubi even start with being ordered to love someone.
and with the projection thing it's like. actually no regardless of that they're pretty similar either way like this is literally also soubi's deal too
Tumblr media Tumblr media
they are both soooo crazy. crazy dedication to people who are actively hurting them because they feel they need them in their lives and just that alone gives their own existence a sense of purpose or whatever (however "purpose" can be interpreted... IDGAF) and Obviously how this works for both of them is different and clearly soubi is in the process of growing out of this but IMO RITSUKA IS NOTTT!!! Well he's 12. and the denial of it all... for both of them... idk... i don't have much to say besides stuff i've already said i just feel things... hmm and by soubi projecting onto ritsuka it's like clearly they can relate on same things and seimei and yada yada but he also uses this to hurt ritsuka. Not on purpose obviously but you know what i mean......like just read loveless. waaait when he started "training" him My god... dont even get me started on the ear piercing scene and then the scene that's like not directly after but soon after where soubi is talking about how he hates butterflies...... It's okay it's okay omg calm down. that's another example of soubi talking about both himself and ritsuka respectively and together IMO!!!!!!
as for ritsuka's side of things i'll start getting mildly freudian so that's it rn. ritsuka does process soubi as a human pretty quickly though NOT at first but ritsuka person-ing soubi happens much more quickly than vice versa. I mean that's the whole conflict of their shit for a good chunk or even just in general like soubi having given up his personhood and ritsuka kind of wrestling with his own but standing by it while also going a little crazy And also trying to affirm soubi's personhood at the same time. And going a little crazy (looks away)
17 notes · View notes
shibuiking · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
umm. bhaal thoughts nd stuff under the cut. ive seen a lot of stuff mischaracterising/interpreting/whatever and it bothers me. i like him.
bg1+2+3 spoilers btw.
i dont wanna seem uhhh. confrontational or anything so this is just me airing thoughts out cz its true u dont rly Hear from him much directly in bg3 so i guess i get why ppl wouldnt know or think certain stuff. and im not the worlds expert on the topic as much as id like to be. but writing gods in stuff is never easy i think, especially as a fan, since they function on totally different ideas and have worldviews we could never possibly understand, etc etc
i think what bothers me the most is the misconception that bhaal would give a shit what the urge does. he definitely doesnt. the canon bg1+2 is a human male goodguy (derogatory) and even he was still supposedly favoured by bhaal (in that achieving slayer form was from a feeling of 'divine hatred' and not an actual gift since bhaal at the time was dead and he was favoured not for this but in that he was the strongest of all his spawn (this is bg2 stuff btw i highly recommend u play both those games if u liked bg3 durge)) i actually miss how bg2 introduced that form its way better than in 3 but thats a big tangent ToT and i get why since the durge was quite literally made with it in mind anyway he didnt care about the prev spawn because their only purpose was to die anyway. but he doesnt care abt what durge does either. he would not care if he was fucking gortash. the one constant w him is that all he cares about is the end goals, the process doesnt matter at all. i cant be bothered putting screenshots in rn but both the durge's old diary and sarevok say "bhaal cares only for death. death in numbers, death in droves." and the ingame proof is in that even if u refuse to kill isobel u can still get the slayer form by agreeing to accept his gift in the temple. whether u killed isobel or not just determines if u get slayer form early. the other proof is orin, who doesnt follow him as he would ideally want either (too focused on making 'art' with death instead of actually killing) but still gets to be his chosen if u play as tav instead of durge (he also doesnt like the way shes loyal to sarevok more than him) hes pretty pragmatic
also the other thing... abt the butlers. sceleritas isnt there to ensure u are loyal, thats his own prerogative and pride as a butler. tho i think the specifics of him in general are left intentionally vague. the rest of bhaals butlers are always imps, and his own was also an imp (theyre made in his imps image after all), bt sceleritas is made in bhaals image. since he has a glued on nose and the colouring on his face looks like a skull. and the earrings are mirroring the slayers facial horns. thats a bit of a tangent tho umm anyway, my point is that durge got a very special butler for reasons we can only guess at. (tho i enjoy thinking that he really was meant more as a nanny/standin parent figure)
anyway that got sort of long. i love dad a lot. everyones durge can be different frm canon obviously... bt bhaal is an established char, nd a super interesting one (i have a lot of thoughts abt the similarities w mystra+shar especially cz of bg3 and the way sheart+gale narrative's play out bt again thats uhhhhh a HUGE tangent and im not even sure how to word my thoughts)
anyway tldr bhaal is a very hands off parent and doesnt give a shit what u do as long as u get the job done (and i love him very much 🥺)
oh also if u math the years out, durge is 20yrs old at max. and that takes the assumption that bhaal made u ASAP after he was resurrected. trivia. if u wanna read the thing wheree he gets rezzed, its the 'murder at baldurs gate' story which also comes with a rly intensive worldbuilding manual for the city which could help w fanfic or whatever u want. i enjoyed reading it (helping w dnd stuff T_T).
another edit: i doubt anyone except me is rly interested bt i have soooo much to say on the topic of how bhaal treats the urge (positively+unconditionally), sceleritas in general, and the way the urges journey mirrors bhaals own fall from grace and coming back stronger, etc etc, i already wrote half of it on twitter anyway so if theres interest i can share it here too
32 notes · View notes
quodekash · 8 months
Text
im already about to cry and the episode hasn't even started yet, so that's a nice sign that'll probably foreshadow how tonight is gonna go
Tumblr media
PLS I LOVE HER SO MUCH
SHE ACTUALLY LISTENS AND TALKS TO KANGHAN
SHE IS MY GODDESS
MY QUEEN
MY MILF
Tumblr media
9GO3U4ERHDSGN9P8IO4EURBDGN980OEUVDS
I KNEW SHE WAS CAPTAINING THE SHIP BUT HOLY FRICK NUGGETS
GUEOJRKBGNUOERJDFBGEUOR
IM SOBBING SO HARD RN
Tumblr media
lmao nice joke
based on this scene being right at the start here, this episode is definitely gonna be the one where he properly realises his feelings for sailom (if he hasn't realised them already, which I dont think he has. he hasn't accepted it, at least)
AND BASED ON THAT LOGIC, generally the way these writers and directors etc base these ones, they fully lean into the fell first / fell harder dynamic, and almost immediately after the second person realises, they kiss
SO im very much hoping for a kiss at the end of this episode (but it also might not be til next episode)
Tumblr media
WE'RE WHAT, ONE MINUTE INTO THE EPISODE?? AND WE'RE ALREADY GETTING TO THE INTIMATE STARES????
OH BOY IM SCARED FOR THE REST OF THE EPISODE
I THINK MY GAY LITTLE HEART MIGHT ACTUALLY EXPLODE
oh yup, oh yup, we've got the heartbeat sound in the background. kang's feelings are coming to lightttt (PLEASE LET THEM KISS TODAY)
Tumblr media
AAA
IM SO EXCITED FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN BC OF THIS
Tumblr media
my theory that they're gonna run away during school hours is still going strong
Tumblr media
NOOOOO THE SCENE WAS SO NICE AND HAPPY AND FLUFFY WHY ARE YOU HERE TO RUIN IT YOU BASTARD???
Tumblr media
yup okay so that theory is definitely right
(the theory that saifah's gonna like steal from kang's house, and his dad is gonna get shot in the process. not my own theory, it's from @ respectthepetty and it's such a good theory, I love it so much)
Tumblr media
OML THIS IS SO FUNNY
I CANT WAIT FOR MORE BATHROOM SHENANIGANS, THIS IS GONNA BE WONDERFUL
Tumblr media
awh is he lonely?
he needs a hug
from kang
all through the night
it'll be insane if they do tho, its literally night one, there's no way
Tumblr media
I TAKE IT BACK, APPARENTLY IM WRONG????
Tumblr media
OKAY NVM APPARENTLY I WASNT WRONG
im half convinced kang is gonna walk in or smth tho
Tumblr media
YALL IM SCREAMING, HE FULL-ASS JUST HEEHEED
Tumblr media
THEY ARE FRIENDS
Tumblr media
AAAA THE LYRICS
Tumblr media
I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH
THEYRE SO PLAYFUL WITH EACH OTHER
WHAT THE HELL
what I wouldn't give to be that driver rn
Tumblr media
THE ARM OVER THE SHOULDER???????
Tumblr media
THEYRE LITERALLY SO IN LOVE?????????
Tumblr media
OMG
PIMFAH
MY WIFE
I rly wish that screenshot was better but the wifi is being stupid for no reason (which isn't surprising since this is Australia and we have the shittest wifi there is)
anyway IM SO SURE JUNE IS GONNA SHOW UP TODAY
GIVE👏US👏LESBIANS👏
Tumblr media
DID I NOT SAY IT?
I WAS RIGHT YALL
Tumblr media
AAAAAAAAAAA
LITERALLY IMMEDIATE
AS SOON AS THE OTHER MAJOR FEMALE CHARACTER WAS INTRODUCED, B O O M, LESBIANS
I VERY MUCH APPRECIATE THIS
although I wasn't expecting it to be teacher/student
she is just a trainee teacher, but its still a bit ick
idk tho
I guess we'll see what they do with it
Tumblr media
gay panic in real time
Tumblr media
ooh yes ive been waiting for the familial need for an heir thing to crop up, yesyesyes
making me think of drarry now
Tumblr media
OKAY SO MAYBE I WAS WRONG
MAYBE HE DOES LIKE HER
but the things I said are still true
the evidence we've gotten before just now havent really felt solid enough to argue that kang likes pimfah
but now... I guess I have to agree
Tumblr media
pimfah knows/suspects/ships it and no one can convince me otherwise
Tumblr media
IM WHEEZE-LAUGHING THIS IS HILARIOUS
THE MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND?????
I CANT RN
Tumblr media
SO THIS IS DEFINITELY A DREAM SEQUENCE, RIGHT?
I wasn't expecting imaginary scenes from this series but I deeply appreciate it
Tumblr media
I CANT STOP LAUGHING
THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING, SAILOM
YOU SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED
BUT ITS ALSO SUCH A MOOD
also I like kang's shoes
Tumblr media
Y E S
I WAS HOPING FOR OPEN HOUSE VIEWJUNE
again, I wasn't expecting it to be teacher/student, but anyway
Tumblr media
OH YOU LESBIANN
G3I4ORENHGKLS
I would do the same tho
June is so pretty
and so is view
and so is chimon
and so is Perth
(and so is satang)
(no I will not shut up about my satang and perth siblings agenda, its too good to keep to myself)
NO IM OUT OF IMAGES
on the bright side, it took a lot longer to run out today than it did last week
21 notes · View notes
ellecdc · 2 months
Note
every single remus version you have written so far is about to catch these hands cause wtf.
I MEAN COME ON JUST FUCKING BE HAPPY ITS NOT THAT HARD??
anyways loved the new chap and i love rem being a stupid fucken doofus AND SIRIUS PUTTING HIM IN HIS PLACE YES BABY
also i feel as though amelia is gonna be a big fucking problem for my whim baby. i swear if she hurts her im going to riot. pitch forks and torches.
i want more sirius putting people in their places (shit is hot 🤭🤭) hoping it’s amelia next🫣
(i do feel a little bad though, it’s either she’s going to be a problem or she’s going to be extremely hurt AND I DONT LIKE SEEING GIRLS HURT NO NO)
anyways i think the reason why your stories work so well is because you mesh ALL the characters into the story, it’s never just r and said character ITS A WHOLE PRODUCTION AND A HALF👏👏
ohhh i can’t wait for the angst between james, sirius, and rem and then heart wrenching angst between rem and my whimsical baby😮‍💨😮‍💨
(also a little note i saw u post abt the drink snob: if you are willing to finish the story (which is fully up to you, no one can force you to do anything) i think you can start it off with r finally starting work in the restaurant! i think the interview process with rem’s parents would be so cute, while she learns stuff abt him cuz his mom is adorable and won’t stop talking abt her kids (all of them) maybe she gets a little peak -fully accidental- abt what it is rem and the little gang is actually doing. just a few ideas for you lovely, it’s all up to you and what you feel comfortable in doing! 🫶💗)
YES YES YES THERE YOU ARE - everytime I post a new chapter/piece I literally sit at the computer like:
Tumblr media
….waiting to see what frostooo has to say 💃🏻
I know rem is such a dumb dumb it was getting hard to write cuz he was pissing me off so much (even tho it’s my own damn fault??)
I was like, okay, someone’s gotta humble this man, and who better than my fellow November Scorpio??????
I think someone needs to look at Amelia and be like “………babes…..why u letting this mans treat you like this????………….be better” like which friends of hers are letting her hopelessly pine over this dumpster fire of a man rn???? Bad friends, she needs new friends.
Also, I’m the kind of person who like, the thing I’m most proud of/what I brag about to people is my relationships. Like my relationship with my friends I’ve known since I was 4, being an aunt & godmama like these things are the coolest thing about me so I wouldn’t be who I am without my friends AND THATS HOW OUR BABIES ARE?!?!? Sirius is who he is cuz of his friends, and James, and Remus etc etc - they are integral to the story because they’re integral to the characters!!!
I’m going to mood board about drink snob - usually I have an idea of how I want a story to end before I write it (I knew the ending of CBBH and of AMWAP before I knew what happened in the middle), so it feels weird to write without a plan. (Omg, a plan, I sound like Remus)
Okay bye love you drink lots of water today 🫶
11 notes · View notes
plasmasimagination · 5 months
Note
Hi! I hope You’re doing well and I wanted to ask who you’d match me with from HSR, preferably the guys because ahhahdjsbdks my pfp, but ignore jingy rn I want your true and honest opinion. (I don’t mind a female suggestion either)
I’m going to really try and keep this short (I feel like I will fail this as I literally over-explain everything—) but don’t feel pressured at all to reply to this or anything! (I kinda feel i alr did this but im forgetful too help-)
A quick summary:
I’m afab, like 160cm(5’2? With chest which I hate because I want the dark academia dressing style (i dont have money)), she/they, libra, INFP, I’m sorry, I haven’t really had the hyperfixation on sun moon and rising and well astrology stuff tbh 😭
My personality (a mess im so sorry):
Well, I don’t think I could tell you. What I know of myself is that I try to be honest, I am loyal to my friends and probably obsessive when someone shows me interest and i dont know- (there’s some mental disorders going around, along a suspicion of autism) Personally I see myself as a shy annoying brat, while in reality I don’t ever initiate conversation and never know what to say unless it’s about a hyperfixation or something—AGAIN I OVEREXPLAIN EVERYTHING. My mouth doesn’t work as well as I’d like to, I cry too much (imo) I’m sensitive to well a lot, I get overstimulated quickly depending on the situation and um well I’m a picky eater I guess.
RAHHH I LOVE FOOD. And I’m chubby. I’m VERY self conscious and messy (which I’m sure you’ve noticed if you got this far)
Fun fact! If i were to live alone (still living with parents because house market is hell) I’d probably forget to eat a lot/overeat even more than I already do. Why? Because I don’t feel it. I don’t feel a limit to my ‘hunger’ and I don’t even really think I feel hungry at times.
Also, I hate to be perceived by people. It makes me feel like… too much alive. I don’t really feel a connection between my mind and my body, like someone sees my body and I’m just: THAT AINT ME YALL PLEASE IT AINT MEEEEE 😭😭😭😭 but id never say that bc again, my mouth doesn’t work.
I think I’m pretty useless at a lot too, but I don’t mean for this to be a traumadump thingy, which I also don’t realise when I should stop or not like RIGHT NOW I SHOULD PROBABLY STOP (the doubt is real, I’m so sorry—)
LAST THING!
I’m a Jing Yuan simp, obviously, name and all, but I also firmly believe we wouldn’t be good together? Like he’d be great for me. But what would I bring to him? Besides messy thoughts and nothing?… Which is literally nothing. I want to be someone he could properly rely on and not just a hopeless random girlypop who stops processing information after something becomes a bit too much mentally.
I have my serious moments, which will for most part go unnoticed online, but it’s not like I’m inherently useful or whatever. I feel like I’m really lacking in lots of aspects, and yes I’m aware I’m not ‘old’ yet, but my thoughts eat me alive and I won’t be surprised if I well blablah me me me I hate talking about me. Nothing bad even happened I’m just weird at this point, apologies! (Im a mess, my mind is still that 12 year old kid who just wanted a good hug from her mom and a good chat with her mom without all the school and later college problems aghh I wanna be 5 again.)
ANYWAYS if you made it this far, kudos to your determination anddd i hope you stay hydrated! And eat well. Health before anything.
I FAILED TO KEEP IT SHORT. Sorry I- AAAA that’s how my brain is.
Good god jingsnuggler you're Litteraly the best request I've had in my inbox- (IM SORRY MY OTHER CUTIEPIES DONT GET JEALOUS)
And I also was scrolling from like bottom to top to write some request and saw your pfp and was like "wait didn't I just recently get another one of them?" And I was right >:} You really did stay in my memory HSHSHS anyways anyways not tryna chit chat too long since we know why you're here, and I'll use both of your submits to give you the perfect match...
Drumrolls please....
🥁🥁🥁
.
.
.
JING YUAN!
WAIT ! LISTEN IM NOT BIASED.
I genuinely with all of my heart think that you guys would be perfect like no joke
He would balance you out, just fine.
He's a gentle soul, and would find you very amusing and enjoy being around you
Your talkative and bubbly nature would soothe his soul and calm him even.
Sensitive personality? Don't worry Jing yuan will pat your head and tell you it's fine
Forget to eat? Jing yuan will take note of it. And make sure you never forget. Ever
Okay enough of fluff you said you don't think you have anything to offer for him while I strongly disagree
I think Jing yuan needs someone who can keep him entertained, someone that can talk to him, he's a lonely man believe it or not, he doesn't really interact much with plp other than Yanqing, and between you and me Yanqing is boring af
So he'll greatly appreciate having a small birdie on his shoulder that will tell him all that they think , after hours of doing general work all he would need is to have someone talk to him about some casual stuff and random thoughts, yk?
I also think he would turn to you in case of a crisis, sometimes just come home to you and lay down to cuddle with you, it comforts him somewhat, youre like his stress reliever, hes usually very reserved and calm with other people, but with you..it's so different
To him you're like a fresh breath of air, like just a slap to the face to wake him up, you keep him from going freaking insane
I don't think Jing yuan is usually fit for people with a personality of like blade or Dan Heng (just an example of personality I am no shipper nor anti shipper don't shoot me)
Like ...yeah I guess they can be friends but like...Jing yuan wouldn't click with them? I don't know how to explain it but jing yuan needs someone lively and like all over the place, so he can take time to slowly organize you and your thoughts in his mind.
Phew that's all from me, sending lots of hugs and loves I hope to see you around on my blog since you're a small blessing on my acc (≧◡≦) ♡
17 notes · View notes
quackitytheduck · 6 months
Note
about the qsmp gotg au: I'm listening, do you mayhaps want to elaborate 😁
ngl i JUST had the split second thought while listening to dog days are over (fatm) so my thoughts are still in progress BUT rn im trying to connect character arcs to determine who should take whose place
at first i was thinking quacky as peter q bc. well. im a quackity main. and then i wondered how i could fit tilín into that and my thought process for that kinda ended there. but i was still stuck on quacky and then i thought of gamora and he actually fits her arc more plus i like fem coding quackity's characters. then i was thinking maybe tilín as nebula? theyd have to have an ever so slightly diff relationship but i could make it work, maybe el pato or cucurucho as thanos OH WAIT MAYBE CUCURUCHO AS RONAN so that would put el pato as thanos and then i was thinking how would i get elq in here maybe he could be nebula and THEN i thought what if i split nebula into 2 characters so i could have qq elq and tilín all under thanos at some point but then qq escaped w tilín but elq stayed working under thanos and took back tilín at some point so that could give qq that good good grief arc!! and then well there's the obvious memory loss which would fit in perfectly with both arcs!!
and then i got to peter q and who has a backstory of being taken from their home and growing up in a hostile and violent environment. boom cellbit ez. but does the backstory or personality matter more?? so i had a character w a good backstory but who didn't have peter's wit although he had his heart and charm like that. and i dont wanna say who i thought of but let's just say his charm comes from being a musician. but i didnt want him i wanted literally anyone other than him so now im stuck on that
and then i was thinking what if starmora luckity. luzu the angstlord (+ arin) as gamora and then maybe i could take some of c!quacky's sarcasm and put it into this au but that would take away from it being a qsmp au
and now im trying to veer away from my quacky centric tendencies and go back to qcell as quill and then bagi as maybe a mantis type figure who was introduced in vol 2 w ego, and i think that could work with bagi having been on the island (ego (planet)) much longer than cellbit and i feel like im missing some piece of lore here i feel like im getting this backstory wrong but icr. and i know bagi isnt loyal to the feds in any way so i think she's been trying to escape the planet her whole life and always failed. idk who ego would be idk some kind of fed rep. id like pol to be there too if in this version ego is fed affiliated i want pol to be a reluctant employee on the planet w bagi. tbh idk what their canon relationship is or if theyve even met yet but i think it would be a cool new dynamic. wait shit icr if pol's lore is that he's pro fed or not i dont think he is but i can NOT rmbr rn. anyway i like this version w mystery twins a lot tbh i might just take this one and run w it
to summarize:
quackity gamora w tilín/elq nebula, cucurucho ronan, el pato thanos
quackity quill w luzu gamora
⭐️ cellbit quill w bagi mantis-ish
foolish drax!! and maybe two eggs as rocket and groot
or rocket as an egg and the high evolutionary as el pato/the fed w all the other experiments as eggs too!!
8 notes · View notes
wc-confessions · 1 year
Note
the only evidence-- yes, these kinds of claims need evidence-- of marinin being racist i can find is in one tumblr post that has a screenshot of marinin being upset about getting a lot of aggressive comments for working on the cleopatra MAP. she did a map part- a 5 second animation- and got called a piece of shit by dozens of people, but i guess she's not allowed to be stressed? not to mention she is a person of color. but i doubt you knew that, because that would require you to take a second look at the situation rather than regurgitating rumors. it's just so sickening how badly people in this community seem to want to turn on each other. but i guess it's all worth it if you're making all the people of color feel very safe... by endorsing the harassment of a poc for making an animation you don't like. you're definitely making me feel very safe as a disabled person. i love knowing that characters like me should be relegated to inspo p*rn. love seeing people attack a creator for arbitrary reasons and then say "hehe see! i care so much about disabled people!". i love seeing that my opinion only matters when i'm agreeing with you and otherwise i'm just an idiot stan. i dont even follow marinin's content. it's just so stressful knowing what she's going through and how rabid the warrior cats fandom is. its scary, honestly. making art online seems like my only realistic way of making money and the thought that one tumblr post with shaky evidence could get me harassed for literal years is scary.
ok first off i need you to fucking stop making assumptions abt me bc i know of marinin just forgot all the bullshit they did. i dont knkw u and u sure as hell dont know me so the fact that in both ur shit asks youre comming up with false ideals just to show ur support to someone who has done bad over and over again is telling. secondly stop babying them just bc theyre brazilian its so wekrd u have to keep mentioing tht they are not exempt from being a shithead just bc theyre a poc lol theyre a fucking human which is evident in their actions. and you do not speak for every fucking disabled person bc i assure you disabled ppl were the ones that brought the issue w the tawny pelt map to light. and as a disabled black person fuck you literally the map was in bad taste and she responded in a terrible way its not tht hard to accept.
and if u really did some reasearch youd be aware that she was taking from native cultures, handled the issue tawnypelt map Badly, and she was literally deleting comments explaining how her actions were ableist and only responding to/liking the comments of ppl siding w her but yeah im biased and mean for acknoweding any of this. shes also literally friends w shit ppl and While searching im literally seeing her subject several minors to harassment solely for. adressing her ableist map in a chat and on their accs.and this was fucking not that long ago why arent you pissing yourself over the ppl discussing tht
and idk if you dont think a guilt trippy belittling responses to being held accountable isnt a red flag hm
the fact that you have to utilize this person being brazilian and upset about the process of facing accountability in Both asks as a way to make Me somehow brush off everything else is fucked up. no its not cool they were harassed but if u equate ppl bothered by her actions as harassment or hating poc then. that sounds more like a u issue.
literally. stop making this about a shitty animation stop minimizing the harm shes influencing. this is more than a fucking map ppl dont like this is abt someone who is obviously not fit for a huge following and you are proving that point gn
19 notes · View notes