#like. i know its fixations on celebrities but sometimes its people i know in person its not that i need to be with them 24/7 i just | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imashoe69420 · 11 months

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Can I request a shy Leo x shy male reader, where they both have a nice sleep over together alone, and then the reader timidly asks Leo what kissing feels like, and Leo says that he doesn't since he never kissed anyone or know how to kiss, and the reader say the same. So Leo nervously asks if they could try it together, and the reader agrees, and they both bashfully try it together at the same time on 3?

The reader is Puerto Rican

Happy Pride everybody!!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

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★彡 On Three ★ 彡

Rise!Leo X Shy!Male!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Relationship: Romantic

Timeline: Post-Movie

Pronouns: Masculine (he/him)

Warnings ⚠️: Language

===================================

One thing you weren’t known for was being up front with your thoughts and emotions. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust anybody, it was just the second you would open your mouth, nothing would come out. Or someone would talk over you, which always annoyed you.

That being said, you never had many close friends until you met Leo. For once, you’d found a person that had identical interests as you and would hyper-fixate on such topics the same way you did.

On top of this, the both of you weren’t inclined to make many friends; for different reasons, of course. But this only brought you closer to each other.

After a few months of hanging out, you noticed a change in your relationship with the blue clad turtle.

When he would come over to your apartment, he would bring gifts such as food or a new issue of your favorite comic. Leo would adamantly listen when you would speak, but you often questioned if he was really listening, or just admiring your visage. You didn’t mind it, but the question was always in the back of your head.

Aside from the gifts, the turtle would often brush up against you or place his hand right beside your own. If you pointed it out, he would automatically shrink away and try to deny his attempt at the intimate gesture while stuttering and blushing furiously.

In all honestly, you thought his little blatant attempts were adorable, frequently laughing at his embarrassment. You yourself had been questioning not only your attraction to him, but your sexuality as well.

You’d only had a girlfriend or female interests. The only guy you’d ever liked was a celebrity that was absolutely ripped. It would be fair to say that you were questioning.

~~~

It wasn’t long after the sun officially set when you heard a familiar tapping at your window. When you entered your living room from the kitchen, you saw a smug Leonardo playfully wiggling his factitious eyebrows at you.

You couldn’t hide the redness of your cheeks, instead opting to quickly open the window and scurrying into the kitchen to continue cooking.

Before you could even say hello, Leo had a quip about how good your cooking smelled.

“Yeah, they’re Empanadillas. Most people call them empanadas. Same thing.” You clarified. “You want some?”

He nodded, approaching the beef filling sizzling in its pan. “I’m sure anything you cook will amaze my tastebuds, (Y/N).”

Your heart betrayed you as it gained speed at his compliment, causing your face to be even more red. “I-I wanted to make the dough from scratch but I didn’t want to ask the workers where the corn oil was so…” your words trailed off as you admitted that. Being shy sometimes felt like your greatest curse.

Leo chuckled. “It’s alright! I’m sure it’ll taste the same.”

You knew he was just being kind, but you’d had authentic Empanadillas when you went to visit your grandmother in Puerto Rico every spring. The ones you were making could never measure up to your abuela’s.

Soon, you finished cooking and offered Leo one of them. To say he was absolutely in love would be an understatement. You only ended up having two or three while the blue clad turtle downed about six of them without getting up for air. In your culture, food was a way to express your love for people, so the fact that he was thoroughly enjoying your food warmed your heart despite only having a few of them yourself.

After the meal, you played an obscure romantic comedy in the background as the two of you talked about a recent episode of a show you’d been watching.

You eventually started to pay more attention to the movie as Leo tried to find the name of an actor from the show on his phone. The two main characters kissed briefly before continuing their conversation. This sparked a question in your mind for Leo.

“Hey, Lee?” You said barely audibly.

He gazed up at you with a curious expression, causing you to immediately backtrack.

“No, tell me. What’s up?” Leo smiled.

“I-I… well… no, it’s stupid.”

Leo laughed as he took hold of your hand in a friendly gesture, giving it a light squeeze. That was another thing he would often do. “See, now I have to know.”

You hesitated. “I… have you… well, probably not, but… have you ever… kissed anybody?”

The turtle nearly choked on his own spit, which only made you more embarrassed.

His face man act soon returned, though. “You see, not everybody can appreciate good looks such as this.” Leo waved a hand in front of his face, that iconic smirk plastered on his face. “So that’s unfortunately on the back burner. How about you?”

You shrugged pathetically. “I had a girlfriend in middle school, but that doesn’t really count. And we never kissed.”

Noticing his face suddenly fall, you subtly clarified that you were questioning your sexuality. Leo perked back up in no time.

After a few seconds of silence as the movie’s credits rolled, he came up with a unique proposition.

“Y’know… we could try.”

Your eyes practically bugged out from your head. “W-what?”

The turtle raised his three-fingered hands in defense. “We don’t have to! I-I mean, I was just… offering?”

More silence fell over the two as they stared at each other. You began laughing at the awkward exchange.

“I-I mean… I’m down for… whatever.” You said bashfully.

Leonardo exhaled in relief. “Should we, like… do it on three?”

The duo chuckled before you leaned in closer toward his face.

“Ok, on me. One, two… three.”

Leo was the first to close the space between the two of you. It was only for a second, though; a peck. When you parted, admiration was laced in the blue turtle’s features. He came back again.

Then again for a little longer.

Then again long enough to the point where you subconsciously maneuvered to sit in his lap.

After a minute or so, you and Leo parted. He exhaled a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” You teased.

“Nothing… I just think I like kissing you.” The turtle revealed shyly.

The corner of your lips pulled up into a smile; a real genuine smile.

“I think I like kissing you, too.”

#rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt fluff #rottmnt raph #fanfic #rottmnt reader insert #rise leo #rottmnt leo x reader #rise leo x reader #tmnt x reader #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt x male reader

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drifloonz · 11 months

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HII WISPYYY OKOK so i have the biggest fixation on Steven rn... that man has me on a chokehold

it's very self indulgent (i think......) but like... S/O who's very scared and jumpy from things like fireworks or balloons, like causing them panic attacks !! like being comforted by him, hugged and being led away from danger... i'm gushing so much over the idea of being hugged by steven and comforted i just know you would put it into words better than me (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) I'm sorry if its very vague, thank you !!! ily !!!

HIHI ANON! ! ! and also im not sure if that was intentional but chokehold huh. Sorry. Sorry. ANYWAYS, i can definitely do that! plus i personally relate to being like. jumpy and scared from sudden noises esp around this time of the year good lord ( remember how bad it was during 2020 that shit sucked ). I can also personally relate to the steven fixation.... wistful sigh.

anyways !! ty!! Here is your tall dark brooding Issues Having boyfriend. i wrote way too much for this probably but i assume people follow me for that by now. Throwing birdseed at my followers in the form of depressed men

steven with an S/O who is deeply scared of fireworks ( and similar things )

♡ steven himself isn't one who really... likes loud noises, especially ones that come out of nowhere? it doesn't happen often, but sometimes there are fireworks set off around his home, either as a prank or just people celebrating near where he can hear, since, fireworks can be seen and heard pretty far. regardless, he's too tired nowadays to care about that, unless it becomes a constant issue. it does also startle miki though if she's out of her pokeball, which is a cause for concern and... anger. he's not going to track people down and kill them for it though, like he would've before, no matter how tempting it is if it frustrates miki.

♡ so, when you walked into his life having a lot worse issues with that than he did - which is something he realized after the 4th of july ( because that probably exists in pokemon, or something similar to it ) from the flurry of fireworks - he realized that anything like that happening even once wasn't acceptable for him anymore.

♡ along with your fear of balloons - whether it be the popping sound they make when destroyed, or some sort of trauma that they remind you of, or textural issue perhaps... however it becomes apparent, steven's making sure that the both of you avoid them. ( note to self; do not take you to an amusement park. )

♡ he even goes as far as to personally vet the stores or places you go to before taking you out just to make sure no balloons are present, or at least to know how to avoid them if they are.

♡ of course, the reason he even finds out about these fears of yours is likely due to firsthand experience. seeing you panic after a few fireworks go off nearby makes him also panic but much more internally - he's not sure if he should be holding someone or not during a panic attack... doing that all of a sudden would be bad, right? he know if someone did that to him in his worst states he either wouldn't react or would angrily push them off.

♡ so firstly, he tries to calm you down verbally... doing some breathing techniques that he probably picked up from daisy after losing miki and encouraging you to repeat the patterns, along with the 3-3-3 technique in order to ground you. he's not often been on the giving end of these techniques, people always offering to do these for him... but due to that, he's all too familiar with the feeling, and is 100% ready to help you out with it.

♡ then he promises he'll be back soon and seeks out things to help you out and give you comfort. something to block out the noise, closing windows ( not that he often has them open ), moving you somewhere where the fireworks were quieter, like his kitchen or something... and of course, he'd turn on his tv(s) and anything that would overpower the noise.

♡ he doesn't give himself anything to muffle the noise because your noises and voice comfort him... and he wouldn't want to muffle that. even though the fireworks still very much irritate him, but more in a slight annoyance way... at least, until now. he feels mad at any of these sounds more than usual due to the fact it puts you in this state, and you're more important to him than almost anything else. If he could physically brawl with a goddamn firework for you he would.

♡ once you're calmed down enough to talk and you give him permission, he hugs you. tight enough to remind you that he's there for you, but loose enough to give you wiggle room... he'll cuddle with you in his bedroom if you want, and just try to relax you enough to sleep, at least until the fireworks are over. he's like your personal assistant, ready to carry out any of your wants to make you feel better.

♡ comfort foods? he has you there, stocked up on plenty of them after the two of you started dating, since that mostly involves you coming over to his place... it was sort of the start of him deciding to take care of himself and be a little more active in life, even if it's just going out to get groceries from the pokemart and not much else. he'll offer you plushies if you want or have any, blankets, drinks, turning on specific shows, whatever you'd like. he'll even let you play with his hair or clothes or something if it calms you down... he likes how it feels too, and will similarly play with yours because that also calms him down.

♡ if any of this were to happen to you two outside, he'd just quickly lead you as far away as he could within reason and do the same things, at least to the best of his extent. likely, he'd just go home and continue there.

♡ he'll stay with you for as long as you need, give you space if you need it... anything you want. if you need space, he'll just be pacing around his home and doing everything he can to muffle outside noises while he waits.

♡ miki, of course, is also there to help you if you're comfortable enough with her doing so. she's a good distractor, actually? she also gets startled and disgruntled by the noises, so she can relate... she allows you to pet her and will sometimes nuzzle your nose with her snout for comfort, emitting glitchy purrs. How can a dragon purr? fuck if i know but by god i know miki can and will. she's just a big powerful cat in a dragon body.

♡ once the fireworks calm down or stop completely, he checks in on you, continuing to comfort you if you're still even awake by then. he holds you by your waist close to him, giving you a gentle little squeeze, along with a few chaste kisses if you allow it. he's happy that his partner is doing much better now, and he almost feels validated that he's the one who did that...? maybe that's selfish. he didn't know.

♡ after that experience, he's sure to keep the noise muffling measures up to stuff, constantly checking them to make sure they're still properly in place. he becomes a little more overprotective, but he always is overprotective with you... he doesn't want to lose you or scare you.

♡ he continues to practice breathing exercises even when you aren't panicking so that you can remember them precisely if he isn't there. he never intends to not be there for you, but... in the worst-case scenario.

♡ he also encourages you to talk about these things to him, so he can prepare in advance for anything similar - which is likely why he knows about the balloons thing. if you somehow didn't realize by now, he's... really just a big worrywart at heart, no matter how he comes off otherwise.

♡ if the fireworks become far too constant for their own good, steven himself will make it a damn mission to locate whoever's setting them off and tell them to do it precisely like, way further away. his demeanor is pretty scary to everyone else, and that's when he's not even trying to be - so he's pretty good at convincing people, even without many words.

♡ thankfully, pallet town is decently far from any big city in kanto where fireworks mainly take place, especially on steven's side of pallet town - the forest itself gives a good bit of muffling, too. which, always makes it more strange when fireworks occur nearby, but he just chalks it up to the locals buying illegal fireworks for their kids to set off. how irresponsible...

♡ ( what he didn't know is they also sometimes do that when red or blue occasionally take visits back to pallet, since the locals get so excited over them... )

♡ regardless, you're taken care for and he's not going to let you panic unprepared anymore. you've got a keeper!!!! ( i wrote way too much for this apologies oopsy )

#wispy writes #steven strangled red x reader #strangled red x reader

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hatboyproject · 2 years

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EDI & Intimacy

I've been imagining conversations between Shepard & EDI for this mod, since by necessity, some of the characterisation for her gets straight up removed. I want Shepard to talk with EDI about romance and personhood, but I want to recontextualise the discussion to focus on EDI's personhood as separate and distinct from that of humanity.

It's always bothered me about that character that, in a galaxy populated by numerous forms of intelligent life, she appears so utterly fixated on figuring out who she is through the lens of becoming more "human," and the way that's explored is through ushering her into experiencing romantic intimacy as if that is the ultimate thing that defines people. The unspoken understanding is that romantic love is the ultimate way to be a person, and... I'm not so hot on that idea... Die-hard romantic as I am.

Mass Effect's Milky Way is a place that has been forced to learn and internalise the idea that personhood and humanity are not mutually exclusive. In ME, you can be a complete, entire person and never have even met a human, let alone be one. In fact, statistically, that's likely. Humans are but a recent fraction of a millennias old culture. Certainly as well, even on the human-run ship that is the Normandy, it's typically populated with a rich diaspora of other peoples. Other examples of persons.

My point is, there are so many ways to be alive. Even among people, the ways in which we pursue happiness - and what that means to us - is impossible to distill. Add to that an entire ream of alien races, and the potential perspectives you get really are limitless.

Intimacy is a useful thing to hinge our identities on. But, there are so many ways of being intimate with one another. Speaking personally, I have an unfortunate pattern in my life of having confused sexuality for intimacy at one time or another, and this has led me to some not great places, sometimes. Romantic love and sexuality is only an expression of intimacy - and only one form of it, at that.

Right now, we live in a culture that is struggling to come to terms with differences between us in ways that are respectful and make sense. I was raised with the idea of bonding with others on the basis of what we share in common. I believe in that. However, maybe the things we share in common sometimes require a little closer examination. Maybe we can use what we have in common to celebrate our differences and encourage healthy exploration in others. In short... Empathy.

All that was a lot of words to say, "And so, I want to explore that with EDI, in some small way, in my mod, if I can."

I want EDI to be challenged on the idea that for a being with her abilities and potential, she's thinking too small. Rather than constantly compare herself to humanity, I want her to stand in contrast, as something beautifully other. I want her to understand that she doesn't need to contort herself into trying to be something she is not and never can be; a human, when her focus should be on herself as a complete person.

EDI can't experience reciprocal emotions as humans do, though that isn't to say she doesn't experience something else instead. She has no reproductive desires, and thus no mating drive. She has no purpose for romantic love other than for its intimacy, and, as I said before that can be had in spades elsewhere. Every time she & Jeff fly together, that is intimacy. Any time she preempts Shepard's needs, or covers for Jeff in a moment of vulnerability, that's intimacy. The act of her core being unshackled was intimacy. Every time she sets up a joke, or has a question answered, or someone makes time for her, that is intimacy. Intimacy is the exposure of our weakest points, knowing we won't be (intentionally) hurt.

I want to have EDI understand and encourage what she sees those around her desiring for themselves, whilst not confusing that for her own needs. Sexuality is important to her only in the sense that it is important to those around her. She has no desire to experience it herself. The key here is that she should not be shown to be missing anything because of this. There's no sense of loss or wistfulness or 'maybe someday' about it; she's complete, whole, and entire without it.

Some of the conversations in game do touch on this for sure, but I think there can be more, specifically about learning to see one's self as whole irrespective of others.

In vanilla, there's a conversation outside Flux where EDI asks about pursuing a relationship and all this. Of course, I'm going to turn this around, so EDI mentions that she's aware of Jeff's apparent interest in Shepard. (This is backed up by some additional bridge ambient dialogues I've written, where EDI kind of tries to spur him on a little bit.)

But I want to quickly move the conversation onto some of this stuff, because it's a good jumping off point. Like, yes, technically part of the conversation is going to be about a man, but I want Shepard and EDI to connect as people.

Uh, anyways, that's what I'm thinking about when I'm not writing in stupid 'cold shower' jokes l8r

#mass effect thoughts #mass effect edi #character stuff #brain soup #after ten goddamn years i can finally stop being mad once i finish this

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opalesense · 3 years

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the last appointment

zhongli & gn!reader

3.4k words • ~25 min. read

summary: as a studious and credible fortune teller in liyue, you discover something about your last client of the week that completely derails your outlook on life.

warnings: liyue arc spoilers, little bit of existential dread, slight mention of family member’s death

notes: might make more parts to this idk? just kinda wanted to dip my toes into genshin writing for the first time!!

LIFE IN LIYUE HARBOUR seemed to be repetitive and mundane. For the past few years, you would wake up, open your fortune telling shop, analyze the futures of your clients using your geomancy, possibly take a stroll around Liyue when you needed to run errands, and then call it a day. You performed the same routine constantly, sometimes travelling beyond the harbor to collect crystals and magical supplies for your shop, but rarely did anything truly change in your routine. If something was off in the slightest, it was never too exciting to note.

As anyone would have suspected, you were tired of your state of limbo in life. Other vision holders seemed to be going on adventures, travelling with companions and exploring the vast mountains and valleys of Teyvat. Other vision holders seemed to be fighting against evil, helping citizens, and saving the world from imminent dangers. You could even recall a recent event where the Qixing had evacuated the harbor to defeat a terrifying sea monster. The Jade Chamber had been sacrificed for the safety of the people of Liyue, and yet here you were, playing with a bunch of rocks for a living. Despite being able to grasp the glowing Geo vision that held your coat together, you could not grasp why you felt doomed to tend to this shop for the rest of your days.

You didn’t know where or how to “start” your life. The small, inherited establishment from your late aunt was located in the small alley of Chihu Rock, practically out of sight from most of the foot traffic in the harbor. Not many people came to visit, though your name was still decently known. In fact, most of your appointments were simply previous clients from your aunt, regulars that relied on her readings for years and believed you were the next best thing after she passed. Especially considering you were the first vision holder in your family, it made your credibility even stronger.

You still remember how you got your vision. The morning after your aunt had passed, the elemental gift somehow made its way into your hand as if the timing was meant to be perfect. You didn’t celebrate such a special and momentous occasion with pride or joy. Your face stiff with tears, you instead reflected on why you received your vision at that moment in the first place. With the shop doors closed upstairs, you gripped your vision and did what you felt needed to be done. With your family’s legacy and tradition on the line, adventuring like other vision wielders was not a priority at the time.

But after years alone of research, a social life consisting only of interacting with customers, and a constant state of grieving the experiences you could’ve had in your youth, you were now in your late twenties and closing the shop for the day. Your last appointment was either extremely late or not showing up at all and you were tired of working today, just like every other day. Regret gripped you tightly as you wondered how you managed to get yourself in such a boring, slow burning loop.

That is until the shop door opened, eliciting a gasp from you at the sudden noise, shattering the previous thought. You accidentally dropped the basket of cor lapis you were refilling and immediately knelt down to pick up the precious pieces that thankfully hadn’t cracked on the way down.

“Hello, [Y/N],” the tall figure practically glided through the doorway, “My deepest apologies for being late.”

He closed the door behind him, “...and for startling you, it seems.”

You sighed, checking for any scratches on the gems and sighed again with relief based on the good results. You grinned to hide the fact you had just been in deep thought. “It’s quite alright, Mr. Zhongli. It’s kind of you to stop by at the very least, even if you’re late.”

Mr. Zhongli was one of your aunt’s longtime clients. Since you were a child, your aunt had always described Mr. Zhongli as a complex yet thoughtful man that had always shown kindness to your family for many years. When Mr. Zhongli learned of your aunt’s death and began to receive readings from you instead, you quickly realized what your aunt meant by calling him complex. Mr. Zhongli was truly a tough nut to crack in every single reading, his sessions taking longer than most other cases. That is why Mr. Zhongli would always offer to take the last spot of the day at the end of every week as to not trouble any of your other clients.

As you took a few of the best cor lapis from the basket, you could see Mr. Zhongli’s acts of kindness and thoughtfulness unfold in front of you. He seemed to carry what was now clearly a gift basket at closer inspection.

“This gift is for you,” Mr. Zhongli took a few steps forward to set the basket on a countertop. “I brought you your favorites. Slow cooked bamboo shoot soup, qingxin, glaze lilies, and all the crystals I could find… needless to say, let this be a token of my appreciation for your patience and hard work from our last few sessions. I know I am not the easiest to read, but you truly have a talent.”

You were speechless at the gesture as your eyes sunk into the intricate detail of the handwoven basket and decorated items inside. No one had ever done something so kind for you in so long. It was astonishing enough that he remembered your favorite soup that you mentioned only once a few months ago, let alone your favorite flowers and crystals as well. “Thank you so much, Mr. Zhongli! I’m at a loss for words – this is so thoughtful of you!”

“I even brought you that Rex Incognito series you had mentioned, although, I am not sure why you would need to read the series when I am fully capable of educating you on the history of Rex Lapis myself,” he flaunted, taking his seat on the cushioned chair in front of the reading table.

“Now, Mr. Zhongli...” you picked out some prithiva topaz from another basket, following the usual protocol you had with such a personalized, frequent client like him. The required materials for his readings were imprinted into your memory like carvings in stone. “You know I don’t want to burden you with my curiosity. And with such an intriguing topic like Rex Lapis... once I start asking questions I’m afraid I will not stop.”

“I have all the time in the world,” he got comfortable in his seat as you sat yourself across from him, “I truly think it would benefit you to discuss the history of Rex Lapis with a learned scholar such as myself. We can even have some tea as we discuss.”

You chuckled at his eagerness. He seemed more forward than usual. “You are too kind, Mr. Zhongli. Perhaps I’ll take that offer someday, but at least let me put those books to good use first. Maybe I won’t need to bombard you with questions if I’m already well briefed on the subject.”

He sighed happily. “You make a good point. And you will enjoy them, I’m sure.”

You settled into your seat as you arranged the crystals between the two of you. “The usual for tonight?”

“Yes, please.”

Your hands meticulously placed the last crystal in its spot on the surface. You closed your eyes and hovered your hands above the rocks, clearing your mind to make way for the usual reading: a reflection on the past, any significant events of the present to focus on, and some insight into the future. You held this hand gesture for awhile, letting the energy from the rocks lift into the air and envelop your gloved palms. When you felt there was enough energy to work with, you opened your eyes to reveal the manifestation of his thoughts in front of you, able to take its physical form using the powers from your glowing vision.

No one had ever taught your this skill, not even your aunt. If you had to bloat your own ego, one could say you invented this Geo fortune telling process yourself. The process indeed came to you naturally, a true display of pure talent.

You slowly lifted your hands to allow the visual manifestation to settle on the table among the gems so Mr. Zhongli could watch his reading unfold in front of him as well.

“Let us analyze the past first,” he spoke, already knowing the routine without you needing to ask him where to start. You slowly waved your hands as if you were digging a hole in sand on a beach, the manifestation displaying ambiguous patterns that wouldn’t make sense to any commoner’s eyes but could be interpreted easily by yours.

Two pairs of focused eyes fixated on the picture as you spoke your mind out loud. “You have recently given up something extremely important to you, it seems. I see you handing over something… small, physically, yet unbelievably significant and personal. I can’t tell what it is exactly, only that it glows like the sun with its energy. But you have handed this important object over to a very... evil... figure?” you cocked your eyebrow, confused. “You seem to be brooding over the fact that its aura is dark with malicious intentions.” You hesitated, “Well, that can’t be right, can it?”

He sighed. “Unfortunately, that is indeed what happened recently. But it had to be done.”

“Didn’t we talk about a similar situation in a previous reading? If I remember correctly, I thought I had advised you to not give up whatever that object was.”

“I am aware of the consequences that will follow. Especially with your future guidance, I’m sure the events following this one questionable decision will unfold in a better way soon enough.”

“I will always be here to help you, Mr. Zhongli. But please be careful in the future with these decisions. The importance of this object seems to be off the charts.”

He nodded. “It is as you say. Please, have faith in me now. I cannot change what happened in the past, after all.”

You hovered over this image of the sacrifice. You couldn’t make out what this object was, no matter how close you tried to inspect it. It had the likings of a chess piece, but surely this wasn’t simply a chess piece, was it?

“Let us move on, if that is alright with you,” his low voice cut the silence.

You wiped the image from your mind and waved your hands again, as if you were slowly putting the sand back into the hole you dug before. If the last image wasn’t enough bad news, this new one that formed was even more painful to witness.

“You have been grieving your losses very recently,” you said gently. “Your mind is currently weighed down by your past. I see you looking out at the sea in deep thought. There are flashes of…”

You stopped as you inspected the graphic images that suddenly appeared beyond your hands. You gasped at the terrifying horrors.

“What is it?” the low voice tried to search for understanding of what you were seeing. Even though the image was clearly laid out in front of him, it was still too ambiguous to tell when he lacked your years of experience.

“There are flashes of war,” your breath stifled as you watched his thoughts splayed out in images of lifeless bodies and destruction. “Very graphic details of war and death. Mr. Zhongli, I believe this image of suffering has been weighing over your mind like an anchor in the sea.”

He paused to process your comparison. “That is... a very good way to put it.”

“Though, I believe that despite the sorrow that emanates in this image, you are in a state of relief and tranquility. It seems you are grieving, but you are simultaneously at peace,” you hesitated again, “Yet I wonder what these graphic images of war are meant to represent. Surely we are not in an actual war, are we? Perhaps you are at war with your past, wanting to move on but haunted by your memories?”

Mr. Zhongli unfortunately knew the images you were seeing were, in fact, real events he had experienced in his life time and the truth was that lately he had been reminiscing on these events. Mortal life is kind to humans for them to be blissfully unaware and carefree of these harsh realities, he internally commented.

He still put your analysis into thought, though.

“I am haunted, indeed. I have been attempting to come to terms with my troubled past, just as you advised me only a few weeks ago. I have tried to follow your guidance, and although they resurface what I have been trying to repress, I believe I am coming to peace with what happened.”

You grinned. “That is very good to hear, Mr. Zhongli. I believe you are currently making good progress when it comes to moving on. Just remember that it is okay to remember your sorrow. Let your emotions pass through you instead of repressing them or rushing to move on. It is okay to take your time and let the thoughts bubble inside of you for awhile.”

He closed his eyes as you continued, letting your advice seep in. You continued. “Imagine the stillness of the sea. Many creatures and lost remnants take their place in the depths of the waters, but on the surface we see constantly moving yet serene waves wash over what is hidden below. Your memories are there to stay, Mr. Zhongli. But your present self, the surface of the water, can peacefully coexist with whatever is hiding deep within. Let these thoughts weigh you down momentarily, but rest assured, you will find balance and acceptance in due time.”

His eyes fluttered open as he reflected over your words. You always seemed to know what to say. “Your words have truly resonated with me, [Y/N]. And you are absolutely correct. I have been fighting these memories to avoid the pain, but it had not dawned on me that sorrow is... what I am meant to feel, not push away. I suppose your advice has put my mind at a bit more ease, and I suppose I am focusing too much on when I will be able to move on rather than allowing my thoughts to coexist for a moment.”

“Now you’re getting it,” you grinned with the relief that washed over his face.

“Shall we move on?” he offered.

You got to work on the last segment of the reading. If manifesting the other images didn’t take long enough, reading one’s future always took the longest. Interpreting an event that hasn’t happened yet always made you a bit nervous with your words. You never wanted to let a client down with an inaccurate reading.

On the contrary, this reading, despite taking quite awhile to appear on the surface on the table, was very clear.

“That is undoubtedly an image of me,” your eyes glazed over the facial features of the person in the manifestation. “I apologize for the delay, Mr. Zhongli, I must have accidentally let my thoughts seep into yours–“

“Do not fret, I believe this is accurate,” he interrupted. “Keep going.”

Your perplexed expression remained as you continued the reading. “I am admittedly stumped. There is nothing left in this image. I suppose it is simply me standing in what looks like some ruins. I am holding a staff, or some kind of long object.” You paused to think out loud. “Why am I in your reading? What could this possibly mean?”

Mr. Zhongli chuckled as you thought out loud. “Perhaps this is a good time to tell you why you are in my thoughts.”

“I’d love to hear it, I have never appeared in someone’s reading in my last decade and a half of experience. This is quite unique.”

He folded his hands in his lap, “For some reason, I have had this strange vision of training you. I’m not sure why, since you don’t seem like the fighting type, but there is some voice inside me that is telling me you are destined for something great and i need to take some part in it. What do you think, now that you see this vision as well?”

Your eyebrows rose in shock. “Training me? I guess this does relate to something I have been pondering as of late. I do not want to lay out my troubles on you though, my job is to interpret your life, not mine.”

“Our lives have clearly intertwined in this vision,” he insisted, “Please do not hold back for my sake. I have the time.”

You thought for a moment. How could you form the words without seeming too selfish? How could you maintain professionalism by talking about your personal problems?

“I am not the fighting type, Mr. Zhongli. Though, lately I have been quite depressed about the fact that I am not doing as much with my vision as other vision holders are. My life is uninteresting. The truth is that I am a simple fortune teller that plays with rocks. I hope you can understand why I am failing to interpret this reading,” you apologized. “It’s because this doesn’t seem characteristic of me at all. And with all due respect, after giving you readings for years, I would have never guessed you were versed in combat to train me!”

He chuckled. “I respectfully disagree. To tell you the truth, your talents surpass the abilities of many other vision holders. Not everyone can read thoughts or tell the future. Now that I mention it, I know of one talented astrologist in Mondstadt, but think about that. You are one in hundreds of thousands in Teyvat,” he reassured. “You did not receive your vision for no reason and I truly believe you are destined for something big. I regret not being able to realize this before.”

“How are you so sure of this? I would love to believe you, but I’m afraid I am not destined for much, really. Again, I am simply a fortune teller. What could I possibly do for Liyue other than read some rocks?”

He sighed and connected his palms with yours, interrupting the reading and wiping the manifestation off the table. The hovering crystals dropped onto the surface, making you gasp at the sudden sound.

“I am not who you think I am,” his amber eyes finally met yours for the first time this evening, which sent a chill down your spine. “Promise me you will not fret, for what I am about to show you may shock you.”

“What do you mean? What are you doing, Mr. Zhongli?” you slightly panicked as he firmly grasped your hands.

Suddenly, the room was engulfed in golden light that emitted from the seat across from you. Scattered, distorted images of a mystical dragon, a devastating war, and seven seats in Celestia flashed across your eyes as you stared at the beams of light. Death seemed to swallow you, but not take you. The baskets of crystals around the room shook with the surge of energy. The world seemed to destroy itself then remake itself over and over again within fleeting moments. These thousands of years of memories made your body tremble. It all happened within fleeting moments, and after a few seconds of your senses being overwhelmed, you finally pulled yourself together and connected the dots.

His expanded knowledge of Liyue’s history. The sudden gift of your vision immediately after your aunt passed. Grieving his losses and having flooded thoughts of war and death. Offering combat training. Remembering your favorites the same way he would remember Liyue’s customs and traditions. His glowing amber eyes alone.

Mr. Zhongli was the God of Contracts and overseer of Liyue. Rex Lapis, a being that lived for millennia, sat in the seat across from you. He had been posing as a mere mortal for years, taking readings as if he were any normal customer. The realization shook you to your core as you sat there bewildered, grateful, and horrified at the same time.

He let go of your hands after seeing that the information successfully processed in your mind. He saw something in you that was yet to be awakened, where the sky was the limit under your own expectations. This daydream of his was no simple vision – it was a calling. Internally, whether you agreed to it or not, he vowed that he would not leave your life until your true destiny was fulfilled.

He would see this vow fulfilled by offering you a contract that would change the course of your life forever.

#zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin impact #rex lapis #mine #boom #genshin impact x reader

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hotgirltarot · 3 years

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Pick-a-Card: What will be a major obstacle this Mercury Retrograde ☿ and how can you overcome it? 🐆🐝🐬

What's good, Baddies? Welcome to another Pick-A-Card! This PAC is about what the upcoming Mercury Retrograde (September 27th- October 18th) will bring up for you and how to handle it.

Pile 1: Cheetah 🐆 - Pile 2: Bee 🐝 - Pile 3: Dolphin 🐬

To pick a pile, you can meditate, intuitively choose one or pick whichever crystal is calling out to you. This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Please only take what resonates & leave what does not. If you like your reading and want to support our page, tips are appreciated at $DejaWash19 on Cashapp or Deja-Washington on Venmo!

Reblog to help others master mercury retrograde!

Pile 1: Cheetah 🐆

Pile 1 is for the people who are most comfortable in situations where they are in control. They thrive in their own world while feeling lost when they are outside of it. One major theme of this Mercury retrograde will be your relationships with others. Your connection to others, whether it be friendships, business partners, relationships or marriage will be affected. Any major issues or tensions from the past that you or they may have swept under the rug will be brought to the light. You must ask yourself: Am I feeling disconnected from any people in my life? Am I growing away from limiting relationships? Are my relationships an even push and pull? Are the people in my life bringing value to me? Mercury retrograde is here show you that you have been living in an illusion in some of your personal relationships. No more time for empty conversations or entertaining people that are not on the same vibration as you; this is a time of evolution and transformation.

We are picking on 2 types of energies:

1. Some people who need a person as a reason for them to grow, because they don't think they deserve to be their own priority. You have to do things in life for yourself, if you choose to heal for someone so that you can have a better relationship with them won't work. You have to do it for yourself because you are worthy enough to be the reason and you care about yourself enough. Waiting for someone to guess what you're going through and come and save you from your mind will make you lose hope. 2. Some people who give up human interaction and just isolate. You need to be more open and interact with people, don't give up as soon as something doesn't go the way you planned. Some things require time to grow especially when it comes to relationships/friendships. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't choose to isolate yourself and let others' emotions, opinions about you stop you from all the beautiful things that you are capable of achieving in this lifetime.

You have the power to change. Don’t dwell on the past or on what could have been. Look forward and keep going; it’s not over yet. Just because some people may leave your life, doesn’t make your life any less fulfilling. Life continues and you are being given the opportunity to grow, experience new things, and evolve. After it is all said and done, you will realize that the people that have left your life brought little or no value to you at all. You are not meant to be a follower in this lifetime; you are a leader, a visionary, an artist, and a dreamer. Your Spiritual Team wants you to know that you are protected, divinely guided and it's safe for you to share your art/ideas & yourself with the world. All you have to do is to gather the courage to pave a new path for yourself and trust your visions before they become reality. Don’t look for outside validation for your work or creative projects, allow them to just exist. When you allow the negative Nancies and keyboard critics to impact your self-worth, it takes the joy out of creating. A major piece of advice is to be bold during this mercury retrograde. Follow your heart and emotions and listen to what your gut is telling you about the people in your life. Avoid being reckless, but show the world what you’re made of!

Pile 2: Bee 🐝

Pile 2 is for the people who are sometimes so trusting in their spirituality that they forget to also be practical. This mercury retrograde will show you the importance of having practicality & reality instead of just having your head in the clouds. This retrograde will force you to make more effort to move towards your goals and the more practical steps you can take, the better. It’s time to find an inner balance between your dreams and your responsibilities. Taking responsibilities means cleaning up your messes and making changes so that it does not happen again, not just hoping everything will just magically sort itself out. This mercury retrograde may also affect your 2nd house of personal finance and possessions. Think about your relationship with money; Are your thoughts and actions around money empowering or disempowering you? Do you use money as an excuse to avoid doing something? Abundance comes through gratitude, being appreciative of what you already have. Don't be fixated on the idea that rewards only come in the form of money, thinking like this will only cause you to miss the beautiful gifts that life will be offering you. You might have a feeling that your purpose is to help others and guide them, but you sacrifice so much of your time, energy, resources for others that you ignore your own needs. You are for sure the person who helps everyone and is solving their problems. However, the only thing you are doing is burdening yourself by carrying their unresolved issues and also stopping them from learning the lessons they need to learn in order to grow in this lifetime. You are being asked to look after your well-being before anyone else’s. Spirt is thanking you for being so caring but now it's time for you to relax, celebrate, and allow yourself to reap the rewards for all your positive actions and intention. Also, it is important to listen openly and respectfully to people who have different beliefs than you, open communication can start real change.

In order to get the best out of this mercury retrograde, meditate as much as possible. Meditate for relaxation, for answers and for guidance. If you are able to find the perfect balance between spirituality, positivity and practicality, you will leave mercury retrograde with new love opportunities, abundance and happiness. There are major themes of wealth, abundance and new relationships in your life. People who have chosen this pile have a desire for the finer things in life and want the best of the best; Venusian energy. If you can believe it, you can achieve it. Some opportunities you are about to be given will happen once in a lifetime, but make sure you are taking action to make it happen and not just wishing on a star.

Pile 3: Dolphin 🐬

Pile 3 is for the people who live in a more Neptunian way of life. You are imaginative, live heavily in your subconscious and fantasy world. This mercury retrograde is going to force you to grow and heal your past wounds at a rapid pace. You are being called to let go of the past. That time is over. Whatever you have been clinging on to - good or bad - is long gone. The past energy is weighing you down and it is time to break free of it. You are currently living in a state of complacency. There is lots of self-neglect and dietary imbalance in this pile. Procrastinating and choosing to live in a dream world instead of dealing with the reality of your situation. You are holding yourself back and this retrograde will shake your world until you are born again. You will go through major regeneration: a rebirth. This mercury retrograde practice being present and calling your energy back into the here and now. Music is going to be very influential in your healing; it will be a safe space for you to process your thoughts and emotions as well as raising your energy when needed. Massive healing and Chiron energy in this pile. Shedding your old skin and coming out anew. By the end of it all, you will be a different person, the star of your own world. The universe is giving you a second chance to attach new opportunities you once let slip by. Forget about the past, a new start is on its way!

Make sure you gratitude for all the things in your life that make you happy and if you need guidance through this journey listen to your soul and follow the path you are being called towards. Remember that your soul choose this journey before you started your life on Earth. This moment was destined. Don't think you are unprepared and you will be lost once you decide to take action. Your soul has been training for this moment and you will know exactly what to do when the time comes. Your Guides are assisting you in this journey and they want you to have faith in yourself. Your circumstances will soon improve and your life will get so much better, don't lose hope!

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blookmallow · 3 years

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hi i binged through all of salad fingers for the first time in like 8 years and im fixating again here are. My Theories. pls talk to me if anyone else has Thoughts or wants to discuss things. this is really long i am sorry :’ )

also shout out to the salad fingers wiki for helping me keep track of details and also for this

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thought: salad fingers is not violent on purpose he did not mean to kill that kid

this is less a theory and more “if you slander my boy with accusations i will Get you” but listen. i see people going “but he mURDERED A CHILD!!” because of the oven incident but listen. listen to me. he didnt mean to and cannot be held to the same standard of morality and understanding consequences as a. person who isn’t..... in whatever situation and mental state he has going on

- yes, the kid getting trapped in the oven was his fault. but it was not intentional or malicious and i sincerely doubt he understands what happened or why.

he was asking for help reaching the fish (there’s no reason to believe he wasn’t just genuinely asking for help. he tears up in gratitude. theres no evidence of him Tricking People Maliciously in any other context i do not believe he would do that) and was distracted by the rusty nail, causing him to let go of the door. it wasn’t “he cares more about rust than about a child’s life” or something, i dont think he can actually hold “hey look at that i gotta check that out” and “i need to hold the door open so the child doesn’t get hurt” in his head at the same time, rust is his favorite stim/an impulse thing that takes over everything else and his perception of reality and the things going on around him changes very quickly and easily. more on that later. but the important point here is it wasn’t a malicious plot, or a neglectful careless action, he literally did not realize letting go of the door would cause harm

he stabbed himself accidentally with the nail and passed out for a while (the fact that he immediately bled that much is concerning too, he probably has hemophilia which is. a medical condition outside of his control, as well) and after all that he had completely forgotten about the child altogether (and says “i must have dozed off” so he doesn’t even understand he passed out. and might not remember the nail thing in the first place)

we don’t see what happened after this, we don’t know how he responds when he investigates the fish and inevitably finds an unexpected charred corpse in there, but i guarantee he won’t remember why its in there or understand that its a corpse. we dont see it again so its. entirely possible he didnt recognize it as a person and either just disposed of it or, uh, ate it. but if he did, it wasn’t with the knowledge and comprehension of it being A Corpse or the memory of how it got there

theory: on salad fingers and memory / comprehension of death and consequences

more on that subject

- we see him frequently doing things and then immediately forgetting he did it or forgetting what was happening. he accidentally squishes the bug (which also was not malicious or intentional, he intended to pet it but just. went too hard) and has no understanding either that its dead, or that he killed it. she has gone flat and gooey for some unknown reason. that’s strange. she needs to go have a wash, that’s no way to be.

he eats the jeremy fisher puppet at one point and then immediately goes “where have you gotten to??”

he even briefly forgets hubert cumberdale’s name and immediately comes up with another one without realizing it, and then later goes back to hubert cumberdale again with no mention of barbara logan-price

he refers to the same little yellow guy as “young child” and also Auntie Bainbridge later on. he keeps up the fantasy of... whatever the fuck yvonne was being his child for a pretty long time but then when he arrives at “auntie bainbridge” ‘s house he suddenly forgets why he’s there, and even apparently forgets what yvonne is and uses ‘her’ as a window rag instead and never mentions it again (I also don’t think she was in the sandwich at the end either. it’s hard to see but the sandwich contents are vaguely brown and theres a visible lump in the black goo behind him. i like the idea that the lil yellow guy made the sandwich for him)

salad fingers is constantly subconsciously adjusting his reality to fit Whatever Makes The Most Sense At The Time and does not consistently remember things (sometimes even major things. he remembers his puppets the most consistently and still even forgets hubert’s name) or have a concept of cause and effect

i think he possibly has some sense of recognition, “I’ve seen this person before,” but doesn’t always remember Why he knows them, and his mind just automatically fills in the blank with whatever makes sense to him. he doesn’t remember who the yellow guy is, but knows he knows them Somehow, so, ah, of course, it must be auntie bainbridge out for her sunday stroll :) and he knows he’s there for a reason, but not what that reason was, so he decides it must be time to clean the windows

- milford cubicle was already dead when salad fingers opens the door, but he has no idea that hes dead. this isn’t even a cause for concern. my, he must be tired, that’s all. he kept milford there until he rotted away, too, so there was never a point where he realized anything was wrong (until he became skeleton. more on That later too)

- he finds a corpse buried in the yard and rather than confronting the confusing and alarming reality of that situation, why it must be kenneth, back from the great war! at no point does he understand kenneth is definitely dead

theory: kenneth vs glass brother

i think he really did have a brother named kenneth who probably died in the war. could be some subconscious connection between “recognizing” a corpse as his brother, but i dont think he realizes any of that. i think the glass family is probably a trauma based hallucination, but a... well, reflection. pun not exactly intended lmao. on how his real family was and how they treated him

i dont think glass brother is the same brother as kenneth, since salad fingers interacts with them completely differently

kenneth is a corpse that salad fingers projects a personality on and speaks for, while glass brother seems independent and malicious toward him. i think he had a good relationship with kenneth (so, when salad fingers imagines that he’s here, it’s cause for celebration and he’s projecting onto something inert and “safe”) and also had another brother (who was probably his twin) who bullied him and acted violently, so when that trauma resurfaces, he hallucinates a vicious Other that he cannot control or speak for.

it also tracks that the abusive brother was his twin - he sees himself reflected in the mirror, and something in his own face reminds him of that lost brother until it “becomes” him

he refers to kenneth as his younger brother, and sees him as a being that does not look like him, while glass brother is literally his reflection, so it would make sense if he had one identical twin and one younger brother

ive seen theories that he had a real sister named bordois too, but i think him calling the bug “little sister” was just. a term of endearment or one of his little odd language quirks, he seemed to be talking to it more like a pet than like a sibling

theory: regarding mable

- ok people are saying salad fingers killed mable at the picnic but i Really Don’t Think He Did

we never see him acting out violently when he gets scared. he tends to try to escape situations that stress him out, he shrinks, he cries, he goes into his cupboard (which is. incredibly upsetting given the fact he was almost definitely abused by his family)

he takes on a kind of Authoritative Tone often, he gets sort of ruffled up and disdainful toward things, but that’s not what he does when he’s scared

when he’s actually distressed (rather than irritated) he tends to break down and retreat. this includes when other independent beings act in ways that unsettle and upset him

so i dont know where the “he freaked out and killed her” idea is coming from. he suddenly goes from outside at the picnic to having a breakdown in his house so. he most likely just ran

i think the Only time we see him act out violently is when he decides he has to punish marjory for not getting a haircut like he asked - he tears her hair out, but for me that scene was particularly concerning because it was so unlike him. that was an anger response, not a fear response, though, and he tends to be harsher toward things that he’s actually controlling (I don’t think we ever see him decide to Discipline something that was independent from him other than the horses, and he didnt hurt them)

ordinarily when something irritates him he just goes “hmph! so distasteful. how rude. i shan’t have this behavior, you know” but doesn’t really actually do anything about it, and moves on

anyway we never see mable again so i think either he freaked out and ran away and she just didn’t come back, or he scared her and she ran away, or both

there’s a dress visible briefly when salad fingers is making his Flesh Boy which could be mable’s (he did comment he liked it) but it’s not 100% clear, and that doesn’t necessarily mean he KILLED her for it. she could have changed into something else and left it somewhere and he found it. she could have died under unrelated circumstances, and salad fingers found her - he doesn’t comprehend death, so. probably he decided they’ve made amends now and she’s given him her dress as a token of friendship, or something

i dont think it really looks that significantly like hers but the fact that it stands out so distinctly from the rest of the Pile could mean something

but i just feel like if he had killed her we would’ve seen her corpse again, he doesn’t have a concept of murder, or death at all, or consequences, and his memory doesn’t hold out that consistently, so if he killed her, he probably would have calmed down later and then forgotten what he did and came up with a new way to explain the corpse in front of him - oh, how rude of me, mable’s here dozing right off and i havent even offered her a blanket. let’s get you to bed

like, he probably would have dragged her home with him, with the intention of being a good friend/host to his guest, not understanding what happened. he kept milford cubicle around a really long time

it wouldn’t be like him to have any concept of hiding the evidence

speaking of milford

theory: regarding milford cubicle

salad fingers keeps milford’s corpse around until it starts rotting, and then after a very confusing series of events, the corpse is suddenly a skeleton, which surprisingly alarms salad fingers considerably, and then he goes out to find a whole bunch of himselves eating various bits of gore. they give him a present, which is a hat very clearly made of milford’s skin

my conclusion: salad fingers, in some kind of dissociative fugue state, skinned and ate the remains of milford cubicle himself and turned the remaining skin into a hat. he also saves some of it to make hubert cumberdale (the real boy) later as well, probably forgetting where it came from. he does not realize he’s done this or remember doing it, so his scrambled mind tries to make sense of it with other selves eating unknown flesh, and a lovely hat appearing (which he doesn’t seem to notice is made of flesh)

you can also see milford’s original name tag in the drawer later on when he’s building the flesh boy, so. he kept that after the mysterious disappearance of milford’s flesh, apparently. more evidence that that skin is probably also his

some other scattered thoughts regarding the most recent string of episodes and salad fingers’ mental state:

ive been trying to figure out what the fuckhell happened with the yvonne incident and everything that happened in the birthday episode

im really concerned for salad fingers’ health and mental state, as it seems to be deteriorating

some yvonne theories ive seen:

1. he ate the burned corpse of the kid who died in the oven, and it made him very sick, which ultimately resulted in a charred mass he couldn’t digest - he steadily gets worse, until his body finally ejects it (yvonne’s “birth”) and after that his health starts to recover again. since the oven incident happens really early on, all the times he mentions his stomach being upset after that until he becomes deathly ill would make sense, so i think this is plausible

2. the hair he found in the cupboard was actually a parasitic worm that grew in his stomach after he ate it and became yvonne. i think this is Possible, it is a really strangely wormy looking hair, but it doesn’t move and he mentions stomach pains before this, so it seems less likely to me

3. i also saw the concept that salad fingers is a trans man who suffered a miscarriage at some point in his past and yvonne represents that, and i can definitely see where the idea is coming from but i do think something really physically happened to him in the present time, i dont think it was all a trauma-based hallucination, since the yellow guy reacts to the black ooze and something was definitely making him severely ill

so. i Don’t Know what the fuck that was about but i think the burnt corpse theory makes the most sense

on that note: there’s a lot of cannibalism imagery in salad fingers

we have no IDEA where he’s getting food from. im pretty sure its been confirmed that he is Not a zombie, we see him bleed, pass out, sleep, etc so it seems like he must be a living person who has ordinary needs. but we see him eat... his own puppets. hairs. sand. the soup glass mother instructed him to make, which made him very sick. he has a working oven but doesn’t seem to have consistent access to water. he had a fish somehow but who knows where it came from. it’s very likely he doesn’t get food often and some of his hallucinations and mood swings could be caused by starvation (and when he does eat, it’s things that are outright inedible or probably not good for him)

the burned corpse disappears and is never mentioned again (though salad fingers is very sick afterward). milford’s flesh disappears and salad fingers violently hallucinates multiple selves gorging themselves on unknown flesh

and what concerns me the most about that is that he loses a lot of time in that episode

he passes out in the woods and when he wakes up, it looks like a shit ton of time has passed

we don’t know how much is reality and how much is his warped perception, but it looks like a tree has grown and his physical condition has deteriorated

he looks really, really unhealthy and haggard for the rest of the episode

i think he had a huge dissociative episode and lost possibly weeks of time, probably due to starvation, and he ate milford cubicle and very possibly other people as well

so my question is. how often does this happen to him

and what happens to him during that state? does he become violent and dangerous without being aware of it when he returns to himself again? or has he just been ravenously scavenging corpses when he gets desperate enough?

its possible dr papanak is another personality he has, one that’s “buried out in the woods” that he becomes when he’s in a really, really bad mental and physical state

he looks much better in the next episode (though that’s also when he has his outburst with marjory. could be that he’s still staving off the violent urges/hasn’t fully come back to himself after the last incident) and I’m really hoping the fact that he was able to finally stand up to his family (at least in some sense) and smash the mirrors could mean he’s making steps toward recovery after whatever the hell all that was

there’s not really much space to do anything with his life or get much help given the circumstances but watching him slowly losing himself even more is Awful :(

i hope we get more episodes im so desperate for more information now

lastly, some random observations

i tried to read this newspaper and it looks like it’s actually written in french, which is interesting given that salad fingers seems to be british (but fond of france, and seems to speak french or at least knows one phrase)

i wonder where he got this, or whether it ever meant something significant to him

theres a lot of evidence that he can’t read (takes no notice of the “harry” nametag and immediately names him something else, “reads” a letter that is actually a newspaper clipping in another language he’s holding upside down, “writes” a letter that is just scribbles) so i dont think he learned his one french phrase from this or anything but, still. vaguely interesting. maybe he has been to france before and brought this back with him for some reason. maybe he’s actually in post apocalyptic france and was just originally from england. We Don’t Know

theres a weird little face in the. heater? whatever that is in the background for a second and i dont like it

salad fingers leaves horace in charge, but then sees him (as a live horse) in the woods, but then comes back to find him both still on the shelf (as a toy) and in the room (as a live horse, now with his, uh, surgery scars) but doesn’t seem to notice this and doesn’t comment on it

i dont know what the hell that means other than possibly his reality is even less consistent and logical than usual/a reflection on his mental state deteriorating

#salad fingers #pinned #media analysis

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aro-comics · 3 years

Text

Jealousy (Part 4)

NOTE: This comic will contain depictions of arophobia, specifically from a parent. Full comic under the cut.

Part 4/4 - this part was ... painful. Painful to write, painful to draw, painful to put together and post. I’m sorry that all of you have to see it like this though 😞 Being aro isn’t just the grief of realizing that you will never have the life amatonormativity promised, but it is a part of it 😅 To address slide 4. I was going to draw it in more detail, in the style of the rest of this comic, but my childhood is mainly something I don’t want to remember and this memory is no exception. I was debating putting in this slide in the first place, but I think it’s important alloromantic people to know that arophobia is unfortunately not just implied but very aggressively enforced sometimes, and that it’s something some of us have to really struggle with unlearning. I wish there was a good conclusion, a solution or way to resolve these feelings. But ... there isn’t. The only thing I’ve learned over the past few months is that it’s okay to walk away. And that, thankfully, the feeling does go away. Also, if you’re somehow still reading - I am officially going on a one month hiatus. I will not be making any new posts, but I will keep an eye on the account 💚 My new job is busy and I have some admin stuff in my life I need to take care of, so I want to take the time I need to get settled in! But rest assured, this account will remain going in the long run 🐸✨😁 y’all mean a LOT to me and there’s still so much to talk about 💚💚

[Image Description:

Slide 1: Celia is talking to the viewer, again in the current day. “Or maybe its how the rest of the world can celebrate* them for their love.”

Slide 2: “It’s seen as an achievement.”

Below are a few people drawn. They say things like “I love them together! They’re a sweet couple and I wish them the best.”, “That’s cute.”, and “I can’t wait to see the wedding!”

Slide 3: Warning: The following slide contains arophobia. Please skip it if this will upset you.

Slide 4: “My mother used to warn me to be careful of older adults who were “still single”.

A sketch of Celia from her childhood. It’s drawn in a drastically different style, black and white and extremely sketchy. Her mother tells her “every. Single. One. of them. Every older adult with no partner is a twisted person. THey push everyone away.” Celia seems to want to protest.

Slide 5: “After all, if they were alone - it was because nobody was willing to stay with them, right?”

A drawing of a girl with pink hair and a yellow top and bottom set stands next to the blank outline of another figure, a question mark drawn in the center.

Slide 6: Celia is drawn staring down at her hands as she stands on a green, swirling planet. In the background are stars and nebula also drawn in a darker shade of green.

“I worry what other people will think of me when I’m older”

Slide 7: Will they ever see me as trustworthy? Acceptable? Or even …”

The slide has a more zoomed in view of Celia, who is now cryling.

Slide 8: “... human?”

A shot from Celia’s perspective of her hands wet with tears.

Slide 9: Blank.

Slide 10: The scene switches back to her at her desk. Tears stream down her face.

“At least now, I know when to stop fixating on it.”

Slide 11: Celia has put her phone down, and is now standing off close to the window in her room under the sunbeam. The dust in the sunlight sparkles, and she seems to be at peace.

“And after a moment, the feeling passes.”]

#RegularComic #JealousyComic

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mybodyliberation · 3 years

Text

More Than A Body

Sometimes, I find focusing on my body exhausting.

Yep.

I said it.

And I know what you're thinking. Well that's not very body positive, but the thing is, in this social media fuelled world, how are we not meant to not have burnout when it comes to our bodies, when the focus is always on our bodies?

How can we expect to be fixated on our bodies and other bodies, scrutinising every aspect and angle and bump and curve, 24 hours a day and not get sick of it?

There's always some comment, some thought whether good or bad, the focus is there on the body.

This week I loved that Jonah Hill took steps on his IG to let people know, hey you don't need to say anything! You don't need to comment. In the most peaceful way he too said, IM TIRED.

I made a post recently about choosing to not comment on someone's body: https://www.instagram.com/p/CSw1Q7LobYF/?utm_medium=copy_link

We are constantly commenting on our bodies or others whether with reflection or celebration and that can be wonderful, positive but it can also be harmful. Because shouldn't one of the aims to be to go beyond the body. To see someone as a whole person, not the physical presented before you!

Add a chronic illness like endometriosis to the mix and the awareness around my body is constant and that's tiring because...

We are more than our bodies. We are more than looking and learning to love the stretch marks, and I'm not saying that isn't important.

But we are more than finally wearing that bikini and that doesn't negate the triumph of that...

But now more than ever my body isn't the only thing I want to celebrate or focus on.

As Walt said, we contain multitudes.

And some of that doesn't exist in relation to our bodies; which is massive for someone like me, who does believe in body acceptance, to say, but that is the truth.

Because the acceptance isn't just about your external body.

It's about your mind, your soul and your spirit and your heart.

There is so much happening there and there is so much you're navigating in life in which your body blessedly carries you through but is not the one leading you through.

There is more, you are more and so I guess that's all I wanted to say today.

Just in case no one reminds you, just in case you're tired of people focusing on your body and its size and its shape and your height and anything else...you are more than all of that.

You are a multitude and that is so amazing.

#body acceptance #bopobabe #body neutrality #self acceptance #kat shares stuff #recovery #self worth #positivity #growth #inner growth #inner strength #it gets intense

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writeofmind · 4 years

Text

a quick lesson

Genre: smut

Pairing: Rosé x Reader

Type: scenario

Never in your life did you expect to be the one giving Rosé a private lesson.

A/N: Rosé is my bias wrecker, if you can’t tell. and i wrote this on a whim, very randomly lol. a lisa smut and many others will be up next. enjoy!

You tapped away at your laptop, textbook in your lap, sitting on a single bed in Rosé’s room. You had just wrapped up a concert and finally found time to finish some of your homework, all while being able to hang out with Rosé afterwards. Through the entirety of the night, despite being half focused on homework and still laughing and joking with the other girl, you felt her eyes fixated on you more often than not. Her eyes were narrow as she rested on her wrist.

You continuously glanced over and still caught her staring every time.

“Hey. You okay?” You chuckled. You leaned forward now and looked up to the older girl. Rosé smiled back softly and nodded.

“Yeah. I’m just thinking.”

“About what?”

Rosé let her eyes wander around your face. You always felt a little insecure when Rosé did this, being under her gaze made you feel so little.

She blinked her eyes now. “About you,” she said, very matter-of-factly.

You pulled back and tilted your head. “Of me?” A smile crossed your face, “How come?”

“Because you work so hard. You’re always doing your schoolwork when you have free time,” Rosé shrugged and hoped that she was carrying this conversation well.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” You quickly began to push your things to the side, “I don’t mean to ignore you or anything!”

“No, no no no!” Rosé began to laugh. She stopped you from closing your laptop and shook her head again. “Not like that. I meant, like, you are always doing your homework but it’s like you barely rest. Plus you’re always with us. Aren’t you tired?”

You looked at Rosé for a bit. Now was your turn to laugh, waving your hand dismissively. “It’s just normal. Not really a big deal.”

Rosé’s eyebrows furrowed. “Do you ever get time to yourself though? To do things you want?”

Your expression turned soft. You couldn’t help but stare at Rosé for a few moments as you tried to gather your thoughts, to the point where Rosé had to turn her eyes to the floor for a moment. It was quiet, until a sigh escaped your lips.

“I mean, I get to tour with you and the girls. And I get to be with you when you’re not being a big shot celebrity,” Rosé looked up to see that your smile grew wider, your eyes turning to crescents. “I am doing what I want.”

A small flush of pink took over Rosé’s cheeks. She smiled and shook her head, presumably at the amount of cheesiness that you were able to exude sometimes.

“That’s cute.” Rosé rolled her eyes again.

The bed creaked as you leaned back to rest on your arms. “Thank you, thank you. I do try my hardest.” Your eyes closed and a smug smile came across your face.

Silence overcame the two of you for a bit, which seemed pretty odd to you. Rosé usually wouldn’t stop talking unless she had food in her hands, and in this case, you were both still waiting for the food to arrive.

“Have you ever been in a relationship, y/n?”

Your eyes immediately opened to stare.

Rosé had a serious look on her face, curious and inquisitive.

You raised an eyebrow and moved forward. “Um, yeah, I have. Why do you ask?”

“What’s it like?”

“What’s it like?” You questioned. It seemed like such a trivial thing for someone like Rosé to be asking about. “Well, it’s... nice?” You shrugged.

Rosé continued staring. She expected you to say more and you could feel it.

“Umm,” you continued, “its like you always have your best friend at your side. It’s fun, and y’know. You just kinda enjoy being together.”

“So you loved them?”

You raised your eyebrows. “Um, I’m not too sure,” you laughed uncomfortably, “I would probably say yes? But...”

Rosé nodded. It was encouraging, but her soft expression told you that you didn’t have to continue. You smiled.

It was quiet once again for a short while, enough that you thought the conversation was over. You playfully squeezed Rosé’s knee and turned to grab your laptop again; Rosé stopped you by tapping your arm.

“Can I ask you something else?” Rosé sat back on her heels, folding her hands in her lap. She kept her head down now, and you could see her thumbs running over the back of her hands. Her voice was quiet.

You scooted up to sit on the edge of the bed next to her and nodded. “Yeah, sure, anything.”

Rosé took a deep breath and took her bottom lip between her teeth. Her eyes stayed diverted from your gaze.

“Did you ever... have sex with them?”

“What?!” Your eyebrows shot up to your hairline. Rosé flinched a bit from your tone and you sunk back into the bed in apology. Lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed, it was your turn to play with your own hands.

“I— yes, I did,” You managed to stammer, “it was, uh, yeah.”

Rosé hid her laugh and finally looked up at you. Her eyes were filled with a certain look of curiosity— or maybe something else.

“How was that?”

“Rosé, this is getting very—“ you laughed awkwardly and held your own throat in a chokehold, “very personal.”

Rosé smiled and let out a little laugh. “I know, I’m sorry. I just...” She shrugged, “is it satisfying?”

“It— yeah,” you looked off to the side and inhaled a nervous breath. “If done right.”

A thought suddenly crossed your mind and you stared at the older girl. “Have you... never done it?” Your tone was confused, and you sat back on the bed as puzzled as ever. This time, Rosé shook her head.

“Like, you’ve...” You shrugged and pointed to her legs, “you’ve had sex before.”

Rosé rolled her eyes. “No, y/n. I haven’t.”

The world must have slowed down in order for you to process this, because you stared at the older girl for a few moments, like the cog wheels in your head were turning to make sense of this.

“Okay, but, you’re an idol...” It seemed like you were just talking to yourself with the way your eyes stayed spaced out at the area in front of you, “you have to have had some getaway. And you have so many... willing fans. Some free time to... y’know...” You, again, shrugged incredulously and did a very inappropriate gesture that almost made Rosé laugh out loud.

“Y/n, you’re right, I’m an idol, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I get no free time for that,” Rosé sighed.

You furrowed your brows. It never really crossed your mind what Rosé did in her personal life. You didn’t think it bothered her that she hasn’t been in a relationship, nor have you ever thought about the fact that she’d eventually be in one. The thought alone made your stomach drop.

“Y/n,” you noticed Rosé creeping closer to you, a soft hand resting on your thigh. You jumped under her touch and looked in her eyes.

“I’ve never been with anyone. And, I’ve never felt that feeling of... release,” she admitted, quietly and breathlessly. You could see her eyelids fluttering along with her lashes with every blink. “Can you teach me?”

Your mind went blank. The cogwheels in your head froze, your throat immediately going dry. “Teach you?” You stared right through Rosé with a feeling that you may pass out.

“I won’t be able to just meet someone and do it. I at least want to know how to properly... do it myself.”

“You want me to teach you how to touch yourself?”

Rosé nodded. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her voice stayed quiet, but she had no problem with voicing her problem to you.

Rosé must know what an odd request this was, you thought. There’s always been tension between the two, regardless of how close of friends you were. You spent every waking moment together; maybe that’s why. But this was crossing a line.

“On top of that,” Rosé added, “I’ve never been able to feel that... that feeling that people get on their own.” She shrugged and looked at you with sincerity in her eyes. “It’s frustrating.”

“Yeah, yeah, I can see that...” Your throat felt like it was drying out by the second. You could feel that your stomach was in knots and your breathing began to break its rhythm. You couldn’t deny that you haven’t thought of this before.

Seeing Rosé so flustered and asking of something so intimate was sending you over the edge. There was an undeniable attraction you felt for the older girl. How could you not? Throughout the tours, the trips, you two had always been glued at the hip. But, still, you had to face reality. Rosé was a celebrity, and she understood that. You were fine being by her side as a friend— but that didn’t mean that those thoughts, ripe with lust and something more wouldn’t arise more often than not.

The atmosphere in the room only grew heavier and heavier.

“Do you watch porn?”

It was a valid question, but Rosé giggled. The blush deepened on your cheeks.

“I have. It just, doesn’t work,” Rosé was almost whispering now. You noticed that her eyes were lidded now and she kept her gaze low.

You swallowed nervously and nodded. “Do you want to try? Watching it?”

Rosé flushed. “With you here?”

“If you still want me to teach you.”

The older girl shuffled a bit on the bed now. A sudden shyness took over her, but the heat between her thighs grew unbearable by the minute.

Rosé nodded, and your stomach suddenly flipped over. It was happening, and you couldn’t believe it.

Without another word, you picked up your laptop and wasted no time in pulling the website up. Images began to flood the screen and your cheeks grew hot. From where you sat, you hoped that your beating heart would go unnoticed.

You clicked on a video with a very explicit thumbnail. You thought that the best way to teach was to show.

Rosé scooted closer to you, until you were shoulder to shoulder. Your skin burned hot to the touch.

The video began to play and your stomach filled with nervousness by the second. You were about to cross an unspoken boundary that’s been in place since you were children; but you didn’t care.

You were supposed to teach Rosé, but you weren’t able to find the words to try. You kept glancing to her, watching how she fidgeted and stared at the screen with such concentration. You took a deep breath, unable to handle the burning between your legs.

“Hey,” you finally spoke as you scooted backwards, resting on the headboard of the bed, legs open and patting the space between.

“Come sit between my legs.”

Rosé’s face flushed. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped, but no words of protest came out. She only quietly removed herself from the edge of the bed to climb into your lap.

“I’m gonna show you now, is that okay?” You asked.

“Yes,” Rosé took a deep breath and nodded, “that’s okay.”

Once Rosé was between your legs, you let your hands gently trace her thighs. Rosé almost flinched them closed on instinct, but you promptly took hold of her knees to slowly push them further apart.

Rosé’s face rushed with redness. She took a deep breath and tried her best to relax her nerves as your hands continued to travel up her sides and down her arms to her wrists.

You gently took her wrists and brought them up, towards your lips, where you left a kiss on her pulse.

The older girl’s hips twitched and you tried to hide your smug smile.

You lifted her wrists once more until Rosé felt hair entangle her fingers. Her arms were draped on your shoulders where she was free to grab at your hair, your head, anything.

“Don’t be afraid to use me too,” You spoke with lust dripping from your words. Rosé nodded desperately and unknowingly already took hold of a fistful of your hair.

She laid her head back on your shoulder. Her chest was heaving, and her legs were spread. You could tell that her nervousness began to build and grow, spreading through her whole body until she was almost trembling.

“Focus on my fingers,” You spoke softly to calm her down, your lips brushing against the shell of Rosé’s ear. “We’ll start slow.”

Your breath was felt on her skin, and it was enough to send shivers straight down Rosé‘s spine.

Trying to calm yourself of your own nerves, you took deep breaths and focused yourself on the feeling of Rosé’s smooth skin beneath your touch. With eyes closed, you began to slowly travel upwards and underneath the older girl’s shirt. You could feel Rosé’s stomach rising and falling in anticipation.

Your nails gently dug into her skin as you left soft, red trails in its wake. She whimpered and let out frustrated sighs.

The fabric of her bra was the only thing keeping you away from her chest. Even so, you gently cupped both breasts in your hands and heard a small gasp.

“Can I move this?” You asked. The feeling of Rosé’s nervous breathing was still prominent, but she nodded anyway. You traced her back with your left hand to give her bra strap a quick *flick*, and within a moment the latch fell limp.

You took hold of the front and began to pull it from Rosé’s shoulders. She straightened her arms to help ease from it, but resumed her position of holding the back of your head. The beating of your heart began to pound in your ears.

From just where you sat, you could see Rosé’s bare chest on display for you, free to be touched and teased. The thought of it being so close made your mind feel hazy.

Your hands skimmed up Rosé’s body once more before you finally felt her perky nipples in the palm of your hands. Rosé’s moans drifted through the air when you began to knead her breasts together. Her hips began to gyrate in your lap, slow strokes to match the pace of your hands. You let one of your hands fall back into her lap, where you took hold of her inner thigh to control the speed of her hips.

Rosé’s back arched away from you as you gently tugged at her already hardened nipple. Your thumb would ease up on them, twirling and just faintly touching, enough to frustrate Rosé and have her asking for more.

Rosé’s head was thrown back onto your shoulder, chest heaving and legs slowly spreading as you pushed and pulled her against you. You wondered just how riled up she could get.

Your hand moved from her thigh to delve under the material of her shorts, your fingers quickly swiping over Rosé’s clothed, throbbing clit. A soft gasp came from the girl’s lips and her chest arched away again.

“It’s okay.” You ran her finger along Rosé’s slit, feeling her panties grow increasingly wet as you did so. Rosé let out frustrated groans and tugged at your hair.

“I’ll touch you soon,” Your lips caressed the nape of her neck. The feeling alone sent jolts of electricity through her body. Rosé leaned her head back further and let out a whine, pulling your head closer to her.

You let your fingers roam, sliding along the cloth before rubbing gentle circles over her clit. Her panties were soaked already.

Rosé’s hips raised slightly and you heard a small whimper form in her throat. From the feeling of Rosé gripping your hair, you could tell that she was getting impatient with you.

“Y/n, come on,” she whined. The neediness in her voice only made your ego grow twice in size.

You couldn’t help but smile and nod. “Okay, okay,” you pulled your hand back to slide it under her panties. “It’s okay to relax.”

As you touched her, your fingers tracing between her folds to feel how wet she’s become, you make sure to remember every sound, imprinting it in your mind for only you to keep. You relish in every moan and whimper and shiver every time you dip your fingers into her heat, covering your own fingers in her juices. Then you bring your fingers back up to her clit, circling slowly, falling into a gentle rhythm that brings her close to the edge.

“Fuck,” she chokes on a gasp, then whines as she grinds herself against you, her own fingers digging into your neck, “don’t stop...” It almost seems like Rosé has forgotten the situation she was in, this whole scene being a lesson (or maybe she doesn’t care) because she lets go, only focusing on the pleasure you give her, giving in to the way you touch her, the way you tease and play between her trembling thighs. Your hand works quicker, driving her wild until she’s shaking against you.

But maybe she does remember that this is a lesson, because she tries to calm herself to focus on the feeling of your fingers. You don’t stop, however, now caressing her swollen, aching clit, filling the space with the sounds of her messy juices. Just feeling how wet she’s become as your body on fire, and feeling her trembling against you while listening to her breathless whimpers and moans makes your own body ache for release.

“God, that feels so good,” she cries out, gasping and whimpering all over again, “fuck, y/n, I’m… I’m gonna come—“

Her words ignite the fire within you, and even more so as you feel her thighs tighten around your hand as she begins to unravel. Her hips rolls against you and she reaches to grasp your wrist with a shaking palm. Her head is swirling, as is yours. Curses and moans fill the air, breaths suddenly so heavy as the pleasure rolls through her body, and after a few moments, she finally begins to come down.

Her head falls into your neck. She’s breathing deeply as her legs fall open, exhausted, but you still play at her folds. You smile as you caress down her slit and watch as her legs twitch from the sensitivity. The tips of your fingers sink into her pussy, allowing her messy juices to be heard after coming, pumping them slowly, the filthy noises making it known just how hard she came. Rosé giggles because it becomes too much, and finally her thighs close once again as she pushes your hand away.

You both stay quiet and just listen to your heaving breaths, feeling the both of your chests rising and falling with each one you take.

You decide to break the silence. “How was that?”

Rosé shook her head, but you could still feel her smile against your neck. “It— it was done right,” Her voice shook, “I’m pretty sure.”

You laughed a bit. The blush on your cheeks was still very much prominent, but she couldn’t see that. “Well, I hope you paid attention. You think you can do it yourself now?”

Rosé sat up from your lap and turned to face you. The shyness was erased from her face and was replaced with dominance, and to be honest, it frightened you a bit. Only— not really.

Rosé crawled closer to you until your noses were touching, her lips so close you could just lean up to capture them.

“I’m not sure,” Her hand moved from your thigh to find its place right where you wanted it most, “let me practice.”

#rosé #rosé x reader #blackpink scenarios #blackpink #blackpink smut #rosé smut #gg scenarios #kpop scenarios #park rosé #park chaeyoung #girl group scenarios #park roseanne #writeofmind

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appleb0mb · 3 years

Audio

Twisted Wonderland x Date A Live (Outfit) - Rook Hunt

Art Process of Begonia here! (currently not available)

Collection of TWSTxDAL Tracks here!

Blue Begonia - This flower represents dark thoughts and cautiousness. This flower is known for warning others of dangers or misfortune in the near future. It is also a sign of individuality and uniqueness.

For blue, it is a sign of artistry, passion, and creativity. Usually this flower is given to those who are worthy or understanding enough to accept the beauty of this peculiar flower.

Previous: “Effort is critical and essential to reach your goal. The ruthless, the hopeless, the beautiful and the ugly have all done the same. Even if people dry up like potatoes, I will persevere - and I will NOT falter.” [ Agapanthus ] here.

“My arrows have pierced the strongest of hearts, and my joy is unwavering - for beauty is at thy side. Let us celebrate till morn, and fill our cups with merriment. For the time has come, to dance till our final breath.”

“Shall we dance, my Dearest Vil?”

(NOTE: This is absolutely free! But NOT free to steal credit from! PLEASE CREDIT MY ART AND MUSIC, AND ASK FOR PERMISSION FROM ME!!!)

(Also comments, criticism, reblogs and likes are appreciated! I enjoy seeing them because they brighten my day ( ◜◒◝ )♡)

If you’re into some Pomefiore plot, please - continue below~.

A word from appleb0mb:

I am INCREDIBLY pleased with how the cover looks! LIKE OMG INCOMING BAD VIBES FROM ROOK-

I EVEN LISTENED TO THE SONG MULTIPLE TIMES JUST TO LOOK AT THE COVER

Begonia here was kind of hard, but overall it was a lot easier than Agapanthus fOR SURE.

In conclusion, I am extremely EXCITED and ECSTATIC to release Begonia! Thank you for listening as well, and stay tuned!

The Concept of the Track - Begonia:

In the beginning it was a simple, scrapped draft that was lying in the corner while the previous song, Agapanthus was being edited to completion.

When I first opened the music file, it did feel kind of Rook-like but it didn’t hit me like a truck for this song. It was boring, cringe, catchy...but annoyingly catchy in a way. It didn’t feel like the Rook we know and love - so I decided to do another one instead.

For Rook he’s known as enigmatic and eccentric (well in my opinion), so I definitely wanted his theme to sound that way. But if I’m going to be honest here - the whole theme sounds jumbled up.

The theme sounds like a tiring, never-ending journey of adrenaline rush...except the ending is rather unexpected! I never expected the guitar to be even in the last bits of music there but...it somehow did. (:’)))))))

To summarize, Begonia is an amazing track for Rook and for my ears. Not a bop, but it works for me (lol). I hope it sounds great to your eyes too, oh great reader ( ╰(´꒳`)╯).

Imagery and Ideas From Listening to Begonia:

In the beginning I imagine Rook bowing to Vil amusingly, lowering his hat while looking sus.

Also I imagine him in game mode using multiple arrows to hit his opponent (you) and Vil sometimes helping him by adding poison to the arrows.

That’s it lol

TWSTxDAL Plot - Continuation!

Warning - long reading ahead!

Note: This is not a full continuation of the story in Agapanthus to avoid spoilers. These can be consider teasers of the upcoming story.

A mysterious figure laid above the roof of the glamorous villa, their hands twirling a freshly-bloomed Begonia. Its sapphire petals laid bare to unwithered skin - basked with warm, welcoming rays of the evening sun. Emerald eyes fixated on the meticulous veins of the petal, before subtly shifting its glance to the person next to him. “Good afternoon, Vil.” “Same to you, Rook.” His light, blonde curls bounced as he spoke. “May I ask why you had to call me on top of the roof?” Rook roared with laughter. “Roi de Poison, I want to reconsider the contest that has commenced two weeks ago.” “If it has something to do with that Invidaé potato and those Spirits, I’m not allowing them to join for VDCI.” “Dearest Vil, I understand that they may be a disadvantage...but maybe if you reflect carefully and ponder on the subject - this could be the most fantastic opportunity yet.” Breathless silence befell the two, as Rook’s words sunk deeply into his thoughts. “An opportunity?” Vil huffed in wry amusement. “Explain how conjuring unstable in one place can be considered an opportunity.” “That’s the thing, *mon ange. You want to be even more successful and modern, right? If we bring the Spirits on our side, then maybe the whole world will express a change of heart.” “Rook...we can’t do that - it’s not time yet.”His lavender eyes shifted to tile roofs, glaring at it.“Failing to properly prepare for the worst, is like begging for disaster and danger.” “*Mon bégonia bleu...” His scarred, veined hands wrapped around the blonde’s unblemished, lily-white ones. Emerald and lavender met one another, their gaze unwavering and sparkling in the apricot sun. “We never know what the future may hold.” His grip tightened, unwilling to let go. Moments later, Rook’s hands gently moved a strand out of Vil’s face; before planting his hair with the begonia. “I understand that you may not be ready. I will wait with you, but if there’s a time to begin - it is now.” Instantly, Vil pulled away and stood up hastily. “Enough of the dramatics, we've arranged an appointment in the next hour.” He uttered before turning his back to the golden-haired being. “Meantime, I’ll consider it. Also, Rook - don’t touch my face. I put my life’s work into it.” A radiant smile and chuckle escaped his lips. “Apologies, Vil.” With speed, Rook descended smoothly to the ground of the villa before catching a slightly trembled Vil in his hold. Forcefully, Vil sped inside the front door while Rook simply followed after, all while maintaining an enthusiastic smile on his face.

Words: mon ange - my angel || mon bégonia bleu - my blue begonia

- End of Post -

Thank you for supporting the fan-made music and art of Twisted Wonderland x Date A Live.

And have a wonderful day!!!

Note: If you have any questions about this post, please request it in my inbox or under this post.

#TWSTxDAL #TWSTxDAL album #twisted wonderland #twst #date a live #pomefiore #twst rook #rook hunt #twst vil #vil schoenheit #twst epel #epel felmier #WOAH that was a lot to take in!#And yeah the Begonia holds importance to story!#Too bad y'all don't know yet :P #GOSH I can't wait to plan the full story out AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #Also canonically Vil and Rook's friendship give me unsettling vibes. Is that a bad thing????#I mean Ruggie and Leona gave me bad vibes. But Vil's and Rook's is like UHMMMMMM #But anyways-#Not gonna lie the story here is kinda wholesome lol #Though...it's not gonna be so wholesome when you dive in deeper into the story.#People have lies written all over #but very few know how to conceal and feel it #some have forgotten the lies they're supposed to hide...#'The angel and the devil all in one place. How unsettling...isn't it?'#'My dear (MC)...survive and wait just a little bit longer...'#'So that I can put an end to this nightmare.'#'Sweet dreams (MC).'#Indeed...sweet dreams! ;)#Till next time reader! :DDDDDDDDDD

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house-of-cakes · 3 years

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Jamais Vu

Masterlist || Series Masterlist

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Chapter 17: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme

Jungkook x Reader: enemy to lovers AU

Word count: 2164

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of slight bullying

Premise: “There’s an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger… Nothing is ever familiar” – Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

AKA Jungkook goes in search of the girl who got him expelled.

I feel so bad posting late that I wrote a bonus chapter 😅 the extra chapter will be out this weekend.

If you would like to give feedback or be tagged in this story please send me an ask/message 😊

Tagged list: @inspinkyring @betysotelo18 @kardia-apo-marmelada @casspirit0705 @preciouschimine @therealsugababe @lucedelsole97 @deolly @lexy9716 @thesweetest-peas @sannsia

Bright flashing lights…catchy retro theme songs…the loud cheers of victory from teenage boys and girls defeating their opponents – these were the ingredients that made up Y/N’s favourite place in the world. While Namjoon found comfort on the stage, she felt most at home under the glowing neon lights of Reload.

A few years ago, Y/N had found the arcade a by chance after she had “run away” from home. She had just had an argument with her mother about her appearance and after countless moments of nagging and insults she had finally snapped and left home without permission…it was her first act of rebellion.

Y/N’s mother was fixated on looks and how a “lady” should behave and present themselves. She always claimed that Y/N she be focusing on her physical imagine instead of having her face hidden behind a computer screen. It killed her mother that her youngest child spent all of her free time working in a place she deemed to be so juvenile. Y/N knew this for a fact and if she was being honest it only added to the appeal of working there. The job didn’t pay much nonetheless she loved it just as much as she did the Magic Shop.

A young boy runs through the arcade and finds Y/N sat on top of an air hockey table (a privilege that only she was allowed). Her attention is focused on her phone, trying to keep tabs on her best friends who are working a job without her. It was not very often that she could not attend an appointment however her elderly boss had caught a cold and there was no one else to cover the busy Friday night shift.

“Noona.” The soft whimper of the young boy catches her attention. “What’s wrong, buddy?” She jumps off the table and kneels so that she is eye level with the child “A-an older-r b-boy…” his words are choppy as his small body shakes with sobs “Stole my game.” “That wasn’t very nice of him. Can you point him out so Noona can have a chat with him.” The little boy continues to whimper but with some comforting words of reassurance and 5 free game tokens, she is able to convince him to point in the direction of the most popular first-person shooter game towards the back of the arcade.

“Thank buddy, that was very brave of you. I promise you in 10 minutes the game will be free for you to play.” She wipes the last of his tears and ruffles his hair for good measure “Come find me soon, ok?” The boy sniffling boy nods as Y/N quickly makes her way to the other side of the room.

At the game Y/N stands off to the side of the machine and pauses to analyse the teenage boy and his skill. The teen would get easily flustered each time a surge of villains would rush after his character and he would frequently let out a string of cuss words whenever he missed his mark, he was an amateur and it showed.

Suddenly his life bar at the top right of he screen started flashing, indicating that his game would soon end if he was not careful with his energy. This must have been enough motivation for him to focus better because his kill streak went from 3 to 9 in almost an instance. A wicked plan formed in Y/N’s head as she he went in for the last shot of the level.

“Hey!” she called out to him causing him to flinch and miss his target. This caused a fatal error as the enemy on screen took the opportunity to shoot his character right in the face. The teen let out a sound of frustration as the screen read ‘Game Over’ in giant letters and request more tokens to continue. Y/N waited for him to insert the coins before making her presence known in front of him.

“You stupid bitch! You made me lose my game.” He grumbled and lift his gun to continue playing. Y/N reached over to the power point behind the game and switched it off.

“Get the fuck out of my arcade.” She spat and point towards the exit “Reload has a strict no bullying policy so don’t think for a second you’re getting a refund on those tokens.” The teen didn’t bother arguing, he has realised his mistake when he figured out who she was and walked away looking rather embarrassed he had been called out in front of everyone on a busy Friday night. He was sure his class mates would all be talking about it come Monday morning.

The screen of the machine flickered back to life as Y/N switched the power back on, she waited to make sure that the unexpected reboot did not affect the game. The download bar reached the end of the bar and loaded the high score screen. She read over the listed and frowned when she got to a name that had been annoying her lately – Nochu.

This Nochu person had climb two positions high on the leader board since the last time she had checked this game and the achievement displeased her. That name was popping up on the leader boards of many games recently and while she did not feel her abilities were being threatened, she was annoyed that she could not put a face to this person.

Hours later back at the Kim residence, the two cousins enjoy the cooling weather on their porch as Jin attempts to tune his guitar by ear.

“The Basement wasn’t closed tonight.” Jungkook states when he scrolls through his Instagram feed and comes across a new post by the club “I never said it was.” Jin pays no attention to his cousin, instead he fiddles with the knobs at the head of guitar and plucks at a string once he believes he’s tightened the key enough. The sound rings out and the pitch is too high. “So why did we go to Reload instead?” Jin repeats the process with the chord again, the pitch is closer to where its supposed to be however the sound is still off. “None of the guys had a battle or a performance tonight.” He explained as he plucked at the string again and again, trying to pin point why it sounded wrong “And Y/N had to work, so we decided to hang with her instead.” “So we went for Y/N?” Jungkook tone was accusatory “No one forced you to tag along.” Jin fired back, he had stopped trying to tune the guitar to face him “She’s always supports the guys at the Basement, sometimes we repay the favour by making an appearance there to help drum up business.” Jungkook scoffed “You told me Reload was popular because she attracts people with her skills…if that’s the case why would she need you guys?” “She doesn’t need us at all.” Jin moved his guitar from his lap and lent it against his seat. He was frustrated with it and this conversation was adding to the stress. “That’s the thing about having a good relationship with people…you do things to support them, even when they don’t ask.” “Oh yeah? If she’s so good why is she only ranked second on all the high scores.” Jin rolled his eyes at his cousin, he was being petty again and completely missed the point he was trying to make. “Mr S.K?” Jungkook nodded in confirmation.

Jungkook was becoming a regular at Reload and it was evident to him that Mr S.K was clearly the real champion of the joint. The guy had dominated every game of the arcade by holding highest score and while Y/N’s name always sat below his, her score was always miles away from meeting his. To Jungkook this was clearly another instance of Y/N receiving praise and adoration where it was not merited… it was Mr S.K who deserved to celebrated and yet it was Y/N who stole his popularity. If he had to come up with an explanation as to how this occurred, he would bet all his money it was because Y/N was considered to be “beautiful”.

“Mr S.K has held the top for as long as anyone can remember. There’s no mystery to who he is…He’s obviously the owner of the arcade.” Jin windshield wiper boomed out and filled the stillness of the night as his cousin’s face fell.

Jungkook pondered on the last few weeks, there was so much background information he didn’t know and for some reason his brain chose to fill in the gaps by somehow hating on Y/N.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car blaring loud music as it sped up and down the street.

“What the fuck is going?!” Jungkook exclaimed as he stood from his seat and made his way to the top of the porch stairs to get a better look at car. “Ah my Angel is home!” Jin jumped up and went to stand next to Jungkook. “Does she always carry on like this? She drives like a dipshit.” “Nah, that’s not even her driving. You see a while back she got caught at the illegal races, her parents made her sell her car as punishment... She must have gotten into a fight with her mother, this is how she always gets back her.”

The car finally stopped doing laps down the street and pulled up into Y/N’s drive away. The pair watched as Y/N jumped out of the passenger side of the car and wave to the driver as they pulled away from the house. She was still unaware that she was being watched by them

“Hey Brat!” Jin called out, capturing her attention “Didn’t your mother ever tell you not take rides from strangers?”

Jungkook’s breathe hitched at the thought of Y/N allowing herself to be in a car with a stranger, especially someone who drove like a lunatic. He didn’t catch a glimpse of the driver but surely, she wasn’t reckless enough to put herself in such a dangerous situation…was she?

“She did, that’s what make’s it all the better.” Y/N bantered on smugly, Jungkook couldn’t figure out if she was joking or not. “Well it’s past your bed time young lady, you march right on inside and get right to bed.” Y/N let out a sound of fake indignation and clutch her hand to her check overdramatically. “To think I raced all the way here with a surprise and this is how you treat me? You really are such a punk!” “A surprise?!” Jin’s eyebrows shot up in excitement, the façade dropped immediately. Everyone knew she gave the best surprises. “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” he demanded and waved her over to them. Y/N laughed at his eagerness and rummaged through her bag as she closed the distance between them.

“Sorry I didn’t have time to wrap it.” She purposely handed him a grey game cartridge face down so there was some kind of element of surprise to the gift. His eyes widen comically when he turned it over and read the title of the game. “Y/N…is this…??” For the first time in Jungkook’s life he had seen his loud mouth cousin speechless. “Yah! Don’t make a big deal of it.” She tried to brush it off “Consider it an extremely late birthday gift.” “Not a big deal? This is the original Super Mario Bros 3! I played this game every day as a kid then this idiot blew it up somehow.” He nodded his head in Jungkook’s direction who rolled his eyes in response.

The incident happened years ago and he still hadn’t heard the end of it, he pretended like it didn’t bother him but deep down he felt so bad for accidentally destroying something his cousin held so dear to him.

“I’ve been trying to find it ever since! This must have cost you a fortune.” “Like I said…it’s no big deal. I was cleaning out storage at work and found it packed away, we never got round to fixing game console for it so the boss-man was nice enough to let me have it.”

That was a bold-faced lie.

Y/N had known about the sentimental significance this game had to Jin and went in search for it many months before his birthday. She only managed to get the game after she traded a set of mint condition baseball cards, she had acquired as collateral when a client fell through their end of a deal.

“Y/NIEEE this is why you’re my angel! Thank you so much.” He pulled her towards him and wrapped her up in a big bear hug. Jungkook felt out of place as he watched Y/N shriek and attempt to struggle out of his grip as he showered her with love…he could help but feel jealous of the fact that she could fix a mistake that he had made so long ago.

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harley-style · 3 years

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DREAM SMP Swap AU

Dream = Wilbur : Dream comes into the server to help these two kids who are trying to stir shit up -- why not, right? He's got a fondness for chaos but also very protective and caring over his friends. VERY FOND OF TUBBO. To the point of.. well, brotherhood. Wilbur = Dream : He had a vision, to create a place where people could emancipate -- he's not above being the bad guy to keep that ideal in place. He's charming and self-confident and isn't afraid to use blackmail or get all up in your business. Has dirt on everyone but Dream. Constantly threatens secrets but subtle, yanno? Again, very charming, very persuasive.

Tubbo = Tommy : Still very sweet, but Big Crime often comes out to play more often than not. Also a huge trouble magnet, tried to start a...Honey smuggling empire? For some fucking reason, despite its innocent sounding plan, is a threat to Wilbur's land but no one has any idea why. Tommy = Tubbo : Tommy has an innate fucking fixation on music discs. He's got Cat and Mellohi personally. He dreams of starting up a music cafe/music area...? He and Dream get along swimmingly, Dream actually gifts Tommy a few music discs too, but also pins Tommy with the name discount Dave Strider.

Fundy = Eret : Was convinced earlier on by Wilbur to continue his 'legacy' and ideals. Fundy further grows into a neutral party, doing things only when it benefits him. Is the traitor from the first war. Eret = Fundy : Gets far too involved with stuff and the only way out is if he wiggles through the restraints on him. Yes that's metaphorical.

JSchlatt = Technoblade : Assists through uses of contracts and business deals. Like, hello, Tubbo's Honey smuggling business? He and Dream make an agreement, he supplies Dream and Tubbo with shit, and Dream does favors for Schlatt. Technoblade = Jschlatt : Anarchy lmfao. Was actually brought on by Wilbur in secret. Acted as a benefactor for Dream before turning around and causing chaos in the land Dream Tubbo and Tommy built. Blood for the blood god, only the strongest gets to the top kind of government. There's always fucking pitfights. Oops.

Philza = Callahan : Largely uninvolved in the events, mostly just there to supervise Wilbur, Tommy and Techno. Duh. Callahan = Philza : Has personal history with Dream, tries to convince him not to do the thing that could hurt everyone else. Minimally succeeds.

Alyssa = Niki : Ready to defend her home and her family. Niki = Alyssa : Neutral, but ready to back Wilbur up if need be.

Sapnap = Bad : Arsonist, goes around and burns shit whenever he wants to. His base is a Nether inspired fortress. Also, he has to deal with a Nether problem in reference to the Red Vine problem from the original SMP. Hotlands? LMFAO Bad = Sapnap : Helps when asked. Started out on Wilbur's side, as a favor, but slowly shifts neutral due to the conflict between factions.

Karl = Skeppy : Gets held hostage? That's what preoccupies Sapnap's time. He suddenly disappeears or gets trapped in a cell. Skeppy = Karl : Runs around doing supply runs. Gets his friends into various stints to try and settle the conflict through friendly rivalry and competition. It doesn't always work.

George = Ranboo : Unlike original Ranboo, George is highly unsympathetic and needs concrete fucking facts before he acts, and that kind of backfires on him in the end. As a favor to Dream (how many favors is Dream involved in honestly) he runs messages back and forth from Tubbo to Tommy. Ranboo = George : Largely uninvolved in the conflict, like Niki, but unlike OG George, is not absent. He's just there to assist. One of the most innocent and purest people on the SMP, knows when to keep his head down. When his house burns down, he doesn't really believe its Tubbo who did it -- he knows the kid has been framed because he'd been WITH him at the time, but Wilbur pressures him to admit it.

Quackity = Punz : Wilbur's loyal paid henchman. Quackity will cause shit for the appropriate price, he's not exceptionally picky. That stunt he did as Mexican Dream was great and everyone in L'Manberg loved it. Punz = Quackity : One of the best fighters under Techno. Has more morals, but keeps them secretly. Very good at hiding his true intentions/feelings.

(sorry about the other characters not being on here, i dont know them enough to make swaps, or dont know who they'd make a good swap with. Swap who you wanna swap though! i'd like to hear your take on this matter! HEADCANONS ACCEPTED TOO AT THIS POINT EVERYTHING HERE IS FROM WHAT I REMEMBER AND MY HEADCANONS)

PLOT

-Wilbur starts the SMP with Niki, slowly invites others like Ranboo, Tommy, and Tubbo.

-Tubbo expresses a desire to Fuck Shit Up and Tommy says they can get Dream, he's an expert at getting away.

-Dream is extremely protective of them both. Tubbo more than Tommy but that's fine because Tommy is largely independent.

-Tubbo gets in the weirdest shit but Tommy can roll with the punches really quickly.

-Wilbur gets tired of their crap and burns down Tubbo's establishment. It's like the Disc Wars except it's the Great Honey War. Bee War? Basically he's tired of Tubbo hogging all the Honey related expenditures.

-Dream gets the idea to make a honey smuggling empire, as a joke, but Tubbo is Big Crime and he's going with it. Tommy just wants chaos, and he was getting bored tbh.

-Eventually the Honey thing turns into Resource management, so Tubbo Dream and Tommy have a hold on all major supplies

-Shit happens and Dream, Tubbo, Tommy, Eret, Sam, Fundy and Alyssa establish an independent nation. Dunno what to call it bc the server is called the L'manberg SMP so....

-The fight for indepencence still happens. Instead of 'Green boy' Wilbur is named 'E-boy'. Dream still says "WE HAVE NO MERCY FOR YOU" when Wil calls for a ceasefire negotiation, but Wilbur does threaten the nation saying "If there is no white flag by tomorrow, then you can kiss your sorry little arses good bye. That's my final warning."

-Turns out Fundy's been secretly funneling information to Wilbur in exchange for the safety of his friends, and also because Wilbur's his dad....uhm. Also! He and Dream are circling each other and others are like "OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE DEAD RINGERS FOR QUEERPLATONIC MATES JUST MARRY ALREADY" bc I like FundyWasTaken but others might not and its okay, we'll label it as platonic, but can be read otherwise depending on your tastes. But for this, it's very close platonic.

-Wilbur goads Tommy into a fight, as brothers do, but Tubbo steps in and Wilbur fucking jumps at the chance.

-This is the start of Dream's descent into madness. No one fucking threatens or pulls one of his friends like that. Denied. It's still subtle though, so he's okay for now.

-Tubbo and Wilbur face off. When Tubbo pulls back bc he genuinely doesn't want to hurt anyone, Wilbur takes the chance and beats him.

-Tubbo, however, makes a deal. Let their nation stand on its own, and he'll give up the Resource Empire he started. Wilbur accepts, with the condition that they unify their alliance with a...marriage? So basically, political marriage between Wilbur's heir, Fundy, and Dream, the leader of the revolution.

-YEAH I WENT THERE THIS IS VALID

-They're strained at first, but Dream and Fundy slowly mend their relationship post-betrayal.

-Fast forward a few months later. The Nation doesn't really have a leader, as per the agreement, but it does have a representative. All decisions are made via majority votes, and that decision is voiced by the rep and sub-rep, Dream and Tubbo respectively. Tommy's just there to have a good time and causes chaos as per usual.

-Enter Technoblade. He's been called in by Wilbur to...ah. Dismantle a little...nation. Sounds right up his alley. But he asks Wilbur to wait and see what happens.

-Tommy and Dream get the idea to hold a tournament to celebrate their independence, an all out brawl for everyone to kick back and relieve stress. There. That's where Techno comes in.

-He gets Punz to join him after like, being paid (ofc) and they fucking dominate the tournament. Dream's about to congratulate them but Techno turns the fuck around and declares his right to rule the nation. If anyone wants to fight him for the title, they're welcome to try.

-Dream loses another life to Techno trying and failing to fight it. He and a few others lost their first life sometime elsewhere? I guess? Probably by being blown up by Wilbur, idk.

-Tubbo and Dream are chased out by people who reluctantly follow Techno's orders, and Tommy, torn between his friends and his brothers, stays behind. Oh jeezus.

-Since Techno is a fighting GOD, no one's able to usurp him to make things turn back to normal. But Dream is smart, and knows Wilbur's 100% behind this. Fundy kind of knew but didn't do shit about it, which is why Dream rejects Fundy's offer of sanctuary. He can't be sure his husband will stay on his side, after all. It's nothing personal.

-Dream and Tubbo hide away somewhere, probably not a ravine but?? A mountain or something? They manage to get Sam away enough to ask him to build a super cool Redstone contraption thing that opens for them. ooooo.

-I'm not good at names but for the sake of jokes I'm gonna call their land the 'Bee's Knees' bc at some point Tubbo finds a fuckton of Hives hanging from Trees. Bee Mountain if Dream's feeling especially salty.

-SPEAKING OF DREAM. his insanity is on course now, it's slowly eating away at him and in fear of hurting Tubbo he's slowly distancing himself away. Tubbo's like what's wrong but Dream can't answer -- he doesn't know what's wrong with himself either.

-Tubbo and Dream need to go back and confront Techno, but they can't wait for long else Techno's going to obliterate everyone and their extra lives. They call Schlatt in.

-Schlatt's a pure business man and draws up a contract. He'll aid them in terms of supplies, but most of the revolution is on them. They agree.

-Tommy is actually really fucking good at lying and skirting around what he reveals to Dream and tubbo as a spy that Techno would have believed him if he didnt' know his brother. and Wilbur's warnings, of course. That results in Techno just being fucking done with Tommy's bullshit and plans his execution in another tournament? I guess?

-It doesn't go like the festival. First of all, Schlatt can't fight for shit, so why would Techno call him up the stage? No, Schlatt fights dirty. techno doesn't set much rules so theres no rule against poisoning Tommy quick and easy before the fight. Tommy loses another life and is on his last. Tubbo is spitting mad, but Schlatt points out that nothing in the contract covered this, so he's free to do as necessary. Tubbo is stopped by Dream who, at this point, is just overtaken by the need to one-up Techno.

-Also, Wilbur's been slowly persuading Dream to just. Let go. Let the monster inside of him free, he 'deserves it'. By the end of it all, Dream does. He snaps and lets loose the monster crying for blood inside him.

-Callahan is left to convince his old friend not to do it. In a moment of clarity, Dream stares on in horror of what he'd done. In his rage he managed to deplete ALL of Techno's lives (not really but shhhh), cause massive bloodshed, and terrified everyone in the process. He asks Callahan to kill him. Callahan does.

-Yes we'll get to Ghost Dream eventually.

-Anyway, Schlatt still does the Wither plan, because, uh, Drunken Rage. He was so stressed out from the ensuing conflict that he's like "LETS JUST FINISH THE REST OF YOU. THERE WILL BE NO CONFLICT IF YOU ARENT THERE TO FIGHT."

-and then he uses the line from the Lego movie on Tubbo like "Oh, Tubbster. It's nothing personal. It's just Business(tm)".

-Schlatt still dies of stroke. He does come back as a ghost though, that's one main difference.

-After everything's said and done, and the dust has settled, everyone decides to disband the nation, and just live their lives. like, they're done, wilbur, they get your point, jfc, let them rest.

-but uhhhh someone frames tubbo for setting fire to ranboo's (the server sweetheart) house. wilbur immediately decides to exile tubbo in 'anger'. acutally, he wants tommy and tubbo separated.

-tommy's not standing for it though, he fucking fights his way until wilbur threatens him and tubbo's like YES FINE OKAY I'LL AGREE TO BEING EXILED STOP THREATENING YOUR BROTHER

-tubbo's exile arc is not as sad as tommy's, but rather very tense because wilbur keeps riling tubbo up and taunting him. he still keeps contact with tommy though because they arent going to be separated just like that. no way. tubbo just gets a little more mad and gets short tempered like a lot.

-ranboo's not even that mad about it, he knows tubbo would never burn his house, there was a conspiracy on board and even if there wasn't he's like "arent yall overreacting its just a house, didnt you all do this like before the first war even began, what even (also, ranboo was WITH tubbo at the time of his house allegedly being set on fire. Not that he'll admit to it, because he and tubbo made that agreement long before)

-eventually he finds out that wilbur just wanted to pin the blame on tubbo to make him leave, and ranboo's like "IM DONE WITH YOUR CRAP WILLBUR STOP HURTING THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT" and leaves

-with the nation gone, people started to solidify their groups. sapnap and karl deal with their own thing, quackity still runs errands for wilbur, george is the main person ferrying messages from tubbo to tommy back and forth, etc.

-there's a funeral for dream, ofc, fundy arranged it. all of dream's shit was hidden because fundy doesnt want wilbur to get it.

-niki's still there managing her bakeshop but doubles as an informant for wilbur because she's well liked within the server

-ghost dream is present and he's a chaotic troll who mostly hangs around tommy. he's really hyper active and is always on the move, you can never catch him sitting still for like, 5 minutes

THAT"S ALL I HAVE FOR MY SMP SWAP AU PLEASE BE GENTLE I DONT HAVE TIME TO GET ALL THE FACTS STRAIGHT FROM THE OG SMP qwq

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wing-ed-thing · 3 years

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Fraternizing and Spineless (Kabuto x Reader, Part III)

Synopsis: Kabuto has a fixation and you sometimes apologize to inanimate objects. Ever since one fateful day, you’ve been drawn to each other from opposite sides of the battlefield.

Word Count: 1,987

Warnings/Tags: Shy!Reader, Slight!Iruka x Reader, Fem!Reader

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Finale

Notes: Bruh I just want to write Fraternizing and Spineless and never stop. IT’S GETTIN’ JUICY UP IN HERE.

@exquisitex113 @tiktoktheclockisticking

He told you that you didn’t have to go, in all sincerity. You looked into his deep brown eyes and sighed. He wouldn’t hold it against you if you decided you didn’t feel comfortable going, but you could feel the guilt already starting to creep up on you. And inwardly sighing, you knew exactly what you had to do.

“Yeah, of course I’ll go.” Iruka looked slightly taken aback. After all, it wasn’t too long ago since you had turned down his last invitation to go out, but this time was different.

“Are you sure?” He asked and your tired eyes met his, yielding.

“Yeah, I’m sure. What kind of friend would miss another friend’s birthday?” Iruka laughed nervously. You could tell from the expression he wore that he didn’t expect your answer. He reached up to scratch at the scruff of his neck. A few strands of hair fell from the back of his ponytail.

“You know I’m not trying to guilt trip you, you know?” He said, “I just didn’t want you to feel like I wasn’t including you.” You glanced down to the side before meeting his eyes again.

“Do you not want me to come?” You questioned softly, lips slightly puckered as your eyebrows wrinkled your forehead. Panic overtook Iruka as he looked into your wide eyes.

“No, no, no, no!” He waved his hands in front of his body defensively before one hand returned to the back of his head. “I just want to make sure that you’re comfortable, that’s all. And that you’re not feeling forced to go, ‘cause I know last time…” He trailed off. You bowed your head in understanding.

“I know what I said, but believe me, I’m happy to celebrate with you.” The corners of your lips tugged upward, subtly forced. “Besides, we keep saying how we never have a chance to catch up and how it’s been so long.” Iruka gave a slow nod, not completely convinced. You tried your best to give him a reassuring smile. “Really, it’ll be fine. I think it’ll be good for me.”

“If you say so.” Iruka let out a small laugh again. He had always been a nervous smiler. “I’ll see you there?”

“Sure thing.” You answered and both walked separate ways.

Once turned, you let a restrained shiver work its way down your spine. Anxiety followed you like a cloud hovering over your head. Not many people confronted you about the events that had happened a few months before, but you had also hardly left your apartment. You didn’t mind staying holed up inside with your extensive library, but now you were faced with what you feared most. You sighed, making your way up the steps of your building. You had no idea how you were going to handle this one.

Jiggling the knob of your modest studio, you were surprised to see that your stray cat of a companion wasn’t present. The window, per usual, remained open. You dropped your jacket on the small dining table before pulling open your wardrobe.

Of your options were neatly ironed uniforms lined up in an orderly line and practically nothing more. You looked down at the bottom. Work sanctioned shoes stared back at you. The room became a tinge darker. You closed the door, turning around to see Kabuto lounging on your bed. The comforter of your well made bed wrinkled under him. The curtains were drawn closed.

“I’m going out tonight.” You blurted. Kabuto blinked a few times, staring at you otherwise blankly.

“No hello?” He snorted. Your fingers interlaced in front of you and you nervously began to rock on your heels.

“I just wanted you to know, because I won’t be here to make dinner.”

Your voice jumped an octave, but you hardly noticed the shrillness of your voice. Kabuto’s face was untelling. He cocked his knee, resting his elbow against it as he leaned back. Your eyes darted to his eyes. You pursed your lips, diverting your attention to somewhere else in the room. He sighed, swinging his legs off of the bed and neatly placing his footwear next to your bedside table. Kabuto resumed his lounging position. You let out a breath, not noticing that you had been holding it. He reached down into the space where your bed met the wall and pulled out a book. A bookmark stuck out of the top, the piece of paper lodged quite a ways in.

Kabuto noticed your nervous staring.

“What?” He asked, eyebrows raised in a familiar amused but smug look. “You think I come here just for the free meal?” He cracked open his, well your, novel. You stood in the middle of the room, still and tense, still unsure generally of what you should be doing. Kabuto glanced up at you again. “Or is this about the shoes? Because I know you don’t like shoes on the bed and I knew you weren’t going to ask me-”

“I mean, uh, well…” As soon as his challenging eyes met yours, you promptly closed your mouth. Kabuto stuck a finger out at you, sitting up at the edge of your bed. You only stood a few feet away. His fingers held the pages of the book splayed open

“That.” He nearly spat. “That is what I’m talking about.”

“What?” The book closed with a thump. Kabuto propped a foot up on the side rail of your bed as he leaned forward.

“A little nerve would look good on you.” A burning grew at the center of your forehead.

“That’s not very nice.” You murmured, thumbs twiddling. Kabuto frowned.

“Is it? I suppose helpfulness isn’t always nice.” You couldn’t find it within you to convey the ugly feeling in your chest. You turned back to your wardrobe. The door opened with a pop. Kabuto shifted on your bed behind you. “It would be easier for you to handle this passively, but that’s not going to work, dear. I know that’s what you were hoping for.” You gulped, a violent shiver wracked your system. While spoken with little tact, you should be listening to him.

“Please don’t call me that.” You didn’t dare to face him. Your eyes clenched closed.

“That’s a good start, but keep talking like that and you’ll get torn to shreds, dear.” You stood, hand on the frame of the closet.

A silence. You stood pretending to analyze your collection (or lack thereof) of clothes, but your stare went right through any item that came into your focus. You could feel the peering eyes on your neck. Kabuto took a certain amount of pleasure in being silently right.

“I can tell that you don’t want me around right now, so I’ll leave you to your plans, m’kay Sweetheart?” You heard him climb through the window. “And, Dollface, just wear your uniform.”

The room lightened once again, leaving you alone and your made bed wrinkled.

***

Kabuto settled into the den. Really, the hideout was more of a lair rather than a den, but Kabuto always hated calling it a lair. Such a descriptive word felt far too comically sinister for his personal tastes, so he opted for a different word. Den.

Boredom plagued him as he aimlessly sorted through the lab, attempting to clear his mind with a bit of repetitive meniality. The workspace itself remained far from professional, but served as functional nonetheless. However, it’s dilettantish nature translated to more frequent upkeep. Kabuto wiped down the lab tables before refilling various jars of standard materials. By the time Orochimaru found him, Kabuto had almost finished cleaning all of the scalpels.

“Your toy unavailable to play today?” Orochimaru teased. Kabuto only muttered in response, focus still on the scalpels. Orochimaru crossed his arms as he let out an amused sigh. “My, my, I haven’t seen you this upset since-”

“I’m not upset.” Kabuto quickly snapped, intently fixated on scratching blood stains out of the groves of the tool’s handle. Orochimaru clicked his tongue.

“What? Playdate cancelled for today?” He came to sit on one of the lab tables. He leaned his head back against the sturdy fume hood and crossed his legs. A mischievous glint, normal for Orochimaru, gleaned in his eye. He smirked, biting back a laugh. “Have you met the parents yet?”

Kabuto huffed, carrying the scalpel holder back to it��s usual spot. Sliding the tray into the empty space, Kabuto sought out another task. Orochimaru leered, still expecting an answer. His surrogate son tried his best to concentrate on the maintenance of the stereomicroscope, but even Kabuto was not immune to Orochimaru’s eerie gaze. He huffed again.

“No, I haven’t.” Kabuto admitted, finding it easier to play the game in hopes that the other scientist would leave. It never worked in the past, but Kabtuo’s state of distraction left him vulnerable. Careless.

“And why’s that?” Orochimaru fully turned on the table, legs still crossed. Kabuto remained fixated on the stereomicroscope. His fingers danced delicately around the knobs.

“Because she doesn’t have any.”

“Really? That’s awfully sad.” The Sannin mused, “No family?”

“Nope.”

“No one close to her?”

“Nope.”

“No one who would miss her?”

And in that moment, Kabuto knew that he screwed up. Royally. He didn’t have to look at Orochimaru to know that a wicked grin had overtaken his lips. Kabuto hung his head, exasperated by his own carelessness.

“Not what I said.” He countered, attempting to return to his upkeep. Orochimaru drummed his fingers on the hard surface beneath him. “And I don’t like what you’re implying.” Orochimaru feigned disappointed shock.

“What sinister thing could I possibly be implying?” Kabuto arched an eyebrow.

“That’s funny, because I never mentioned anything about it being sinister.”

“Well, if she has no family and no one close to her-”

“She’s out with friends as we speak. Blood of the covenant, I don’t have to tell you that Lord Orochimaru.” Kabuto looked up from his work, eyes squinted with a certain fierceness painted in them. This wasn’t missed by the Sannin, who quickly took a mental note of it. Orochimaru pouted.

“I can’t meet your friends, Kabuto?” Kabuto tore himself away fully from the stereomicroscope, one finger flicking off the light with a snap. He studied his mentor carefully, an attempt at a prediction. He chose his words wisely.

“We’re not friends.” Orochimaru appeared utterly delighted.

“Then you wouldn’t mind bringing her here. I was simply fascinated the last time I saw her. Quite the interesting specimen if I do say so myself.”

“She’s not worth the materials we would use, Lord Orochimaru.” The Sannin hummed, coming down from his perch to lean against the counter next to his protégé. He grabbed his wrist, forcefully pinning it to the table. The skin around the grip had already begun to turn white.

“I suppose that’s why you seek this little friend of yours out every day, hm? You are like a son to me, so I do you a favor and tell you this; I don’t appreciate liars, Kabuto. You know that.” Venom coursed through his voice. “One little act of what could be considered kindness and you’ve let this low level Leaf thing leash and neuter you, my poor boy. Remember that you were the one who wanted to be somebody. Don’t get distracted now.” Kabuto scowled and pushed the equipment back into their spaces with his free hand.

“This is less out of concern and more of your want to study the Leaf girl’s healing capabilities.” An accusation. The hand around Kabuto’s wrist tightened and Orochimaru let out a deep chuckle.

“That’s funny,” He reiterated mockingly, “Because I never mentioned anything about her healing capabilities.” Kabuto tore his arm away.

“I’ll be turning in, now.” He retreated, trying to think of ways to salvage what he could from his mistakes.

Notes: I’m low key waiting for someone to be like “iTs a MiCrOsCoPe nOt a StErEoMicRoScoPe” to which imma be like “bruh I used one yesterday get outta heeee” then I proceed to dab which disturbs everyone within the tri-state area.

Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, and followed. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

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aphrostarot · 3 years

Text

Self-Love Pick a Pile

How can you be more loving towards yourself?

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me if you are interested!

Pile One (Amethyst):

How do you see yourself?

Five of Cups:

In your eyes, you are very hard to please since you are very fixated on the past. You can never forgive someone who wrongs you. Since you have been burned in the past, you tend to focus on the negative and be pessimistic rather than getting your hopes up. It is difficult for you to love yourself, which leads to a great deal of neglect of yourself. However, you see yourself as a very empathic friend, someone who will always be there for you when you are in need.

The Mastermind:

A Mastermind is never left holding the bag. She conceives the grand plan and then flees the law, living in hiding. To keep someone in her life, she needs a great deal of trust. You see yourself this way. As extremely intelligent and powerful.

How do you speak to yourself?

The Emperor:

Emperors are very powerful leaders who rule with an iron fist. You talk to yourself in a very bossy and powerful manner. Your attitude towards yourself feels very harsh to me. The demands you place on yourself are extremely high, and you are ruthless when it comes to your own success. Your own worst enemy is you.

How can you remind yourself you are worthy?

The Empress:

A future filled with abundance is signaled by the Empress. It is telling you that things are going to improve for you soon. By remembering how far you have come and how far you have yet to go, your guides are telling you to remind yourself of your worth. Keep in mind that it will come no matter what. Believe in yourself and your guides, because they do not lie to you. Don't doubt your worth, you're a fighter and are more than worthy of obtaining abundance.

Grey:

This card reminds you that endings are inevitable and to let go of the past. Your past experiences have caused you to hang on to things from the past and can cause you to not easily let go. Your guides are telling you with this card that you can remind yourself of your worth by letting go of the past and moving on to the next phase of your life. Things can go wrong sometimes, but that doesn't mean they always will. Let go of the idea that bad things are destined for you.

How can you love yourself more?

Five of Swords:

Because you believe everything that has happened to you has happened because of your own faults, this card makes sense for you. A feeling of defeat that arises because of one's own faults is portrayed on this card. It is hard for you to let go of the past and move on. Your guides are telling you that yes, bad things happen, but you aren't always at fault. It is possible to overcome the mistakes you have made in the past. To begin that process, you need to love yourself for who you are, which includes your past mistakes.

Storm:

Recently, you have suffered so much hurt and this has affected your ability to take care of yourself. Your guides are saying that that hurt is about to end. You can begin to love yourself by believing that good things will happen to you. Believing that your guides will lead you in the right direction.

How can you see your beauty?

Two of Wands:

This is the card of partnership, and having it come up here shows me that the way to start recognizing your beauty is by welcoming someone into your life who can help guide you. You've been unable to recognize your own beauty for a long time now, and your guides say that the only way to do this is by inviting more people into your life rather than rejecting everyone because of bad experiences in the past.

Sun:

The Sun is all about bringing happiness back into your life. You have been struggling for so long and you have lost your happiness as a result. You can recognize your beauty by finding happiness in your life again, according to your guides. This can be accomplished by trusting others and letting them in.

Pile Two (Sodalite):

How do you see yourself?

The Magician and Ace of Wands:

With both of these cards, you see yourself as being very creative and skilled. As a successful and driven individual, you've accomplished a lot in your life, and you're celebrating it. In the picture of the spread, these two cards depict someone holding a wand in the air. Having worked extremely hard to get where you are and having been successful at it, now you can raise your trophy (the wand) in the air with great pride and happiness.

The Earth Mother:

I get strong Green Witch energy here. You are very connected to the earth and draw on it to succeed. You are a very feminine person regardless of how you identify because remember, every single human being has both masculine and feminine energy within them. You, however, channel your femininity much more than your masculinity.

How do you speak to yourself?

Page of Pentacles:

You listen to your body well and make sure you are taking care of its needs. You constantly are trying to learn more about yourself, making sure you are asking yourself questions and listening to your aches and pains as signals of when to take a break. You speak to yourself very kindly and try very hard to take care of your body because you believe that your body is your vessel in each lifetime so, you want to take good care of it, and a part of that is speaking kindly to it.

How can you remind yourself you are worthy?

The Emperor:

You are very good at listening to your body and recognizing when to take breaks, as we have established. You take excellent care of yourself, but only your physical self, not your mental self. As your guides suggest, you can remind yourself of your worth by taking control and being in charge of your thinking. Yes, you are kind to yourself, but you are also very lenient when it comes to your mental health. It's time to be bossier towards yourself and to ingrain in your brain that you are worthy.

Potion:

This card reminds you that self-love is needed here. While you have mastered self-care, you've been lacking in self-love. Make sure you take care of yourself, do something that makes you feel beautiful, reminds you that you are worthy.

How can you love yourself more?

The Hierophant:

In your self-love journey, the Hierophant encourages you to seek out community. You need to go back to your tried and true, if you're a part of a religious group or organization of sorts, now is the time to seek peace within them. If not, find peace in your friendships. The guides want you to find structure in your life through a community, and by doing so, you will be one step closer to loving yourself.

Shark:

You are reminded to swim away from your current situation with this card. In your life, by someone you know, and even by yourself, you are not being treated right. The first step to loving yourself more is to surround yourself with people who love and support you.

How can you see your beauty?

The Star:

You've recently lost hope in your self-love journey, and having this card come up is a sign to hold on to your comforts, and to remain hopeful because positivity is on its way.

The Empress:

Do something luxurious, treat yourself. Feel beautiful inside and out. This is how you can start feeling beautiful. With this card coming out, you are a goddess, and you need to remember this, celebrate your accomplishments. You have grown so much in your life and you need to acknowledge that.

Spaceship:

You have been made to believe that you are not beautiful and now you hide. This is not the way to live, and this card encourages you to embrace your beauty and be confident. You do not need to continue hiding behind your conditioned fear. You should be proud of who you are and how you look.

Pile Three (Rose Quartz):

How do you see yourself?

Three of Wands:

You consider yourself to be extremely optimistic and a dreamer. With great tenacity and drive, you have achieved a lot. You consider yourself very competitive, going after what it is you want with a very cutthroat approach. You believe that you are better than others because of your drive, which usually gets you what you want from life.

The Spinster:

The Spinster is not bothered by the hustle and bustle of society. They rebel against everything society expects of them. Most of the time they are alone, and they prefer it that way, keeping to themselves, and most people view them as something they should not strive to achieve. The reason for this is that they do not get married and keep to themselves. You consider yourself to be an outlaw.

How do you speak to yourself?

Two of Swords:

There is something about you that I feel is so stubborn that you won't accept that you need to improve in terms of self-care and self-love. You are perfectly fine in your eyes, and nothing needs to be changed. You talk to yourself in an extremely negative tone, pushing your feelings aside and sticking to the facts, which are that you do not need to change anything, regardless of whether that is true or not. It feels to me that even when you feel like you should change you do not because you fear it which results in negative self-talk.

How can you remind yourself you are worthy?

The Star:

As the card of hope, having it appear here means that yes, you know you will be rewarded for your hard work but not because you hoped for it, only because you worked for it. As a result, you don't rely on hope in your life to understand your worth, just your hard work. Your guides want you to let go of that all-facts mindset and to let yourself dream and hope for things. Take care of yourself during this time. You view yourself as being very optimistic but your guides are telling me that you really are not as optimistic as you think you are because you are lacking hope in your self-worth.

Flower:

This card tells you, to be honest with yourself, you have been lying to yourself for some time now. Trying to convince yourself that you are better off than you really are. It is important for you to take care of yourself here, stop pretending you are better than you are.

How can you love yourself more?

The Hierophant:

In your self-love journey, the Hierophant encourages you to seek out community. You need to go back to your tried and true, if you're a part of a religious group or organization of sorts, now is the time to seek peace within them. If not, find peace in your friendships. Now is not the time to be alone. You need to seek out the support of others. Your guides want you to find structure in your life through a community, and by doing so, you will be one step closer to loving yourself.

Sword:

There has been a change brewing in your life for some time now. This card encourages you to make a change, whether it is cutting your hair, making new friends, finding a new job, etc. To love yourself more, you need to make a change.

How can you see your beauty?

Ace of Cups:

The Ace of Cups is a reminder to embrace all of your emotions. You have run from your emotions for so long that now is the time to embrace them. You will be able to recognize your own beauty more easily if you do this.

Lioness:

As a result of growing so much, you have accumulated some scars along the way. Your guides are telling you to embrace every scar you have whether physical or mental because they are a symbol of your strength. Now is the time for you to recognize that you are incredibly beautiful and strong.

Pile Four (Amazonite):

How do you see yourself?

Knight of Wands:

In your eyes, you are very confident and will never back down from competition. Because you believe in yourself so much, you are not afraid to take action. You are confident that you can achieve everything you set out to do since your qualifications are impeccable. Passion and rebelliousness are two things that you think make you irresistible.

The Delinquent:

Delinquents are symbols of youthful rebellion. This is who you are in your eyes. Rather than doing what everyone wants from you, you would much rather break the rules. You are the definition of an angsty teen in your eyes.

How do you speak to yourself?

Five of Pentacles:

It seems like you are very hard on yourself. You have experienced many losses in your life and because of this, part of you feels to blame. You are very difficult on yourself as a result. Your guides are sick of you blaming yourself for mistakes.

How can you remind yourself you are worthy?

Page of Swords:

Your intelligence and quick thinking make you an exceptional individual. As a result, you are very aware of everything happening around you. Your guides tell you that by recognizing these things about yourself, you will be one step closer to understanding what you are capable of and accepting your worth.

Nostalgia:

You have been too focused on the past and what could have been. Rather than focusing on your imaginary life, your guides say you should improve your present life. You cannot change what has happened in the past, but you can change your present by reminding yourself of your worth.

How can you love yourself more?

The Heirophant:

In your self-love journey, the Hierophant encourages you to seek out community. You need to go back to your tried and true, if you're a part of a religious group or organization of sorts, now is the time to seek peace within them. If not, find peace in your friendships. Now is not the time to be alone. You need to seek out the support of others. Your guides want you to find structure in your life through a community, and by doing so, you will be one step closer to loving yourself.

Homeward:

You are encouraged to take yourself out on a date with this card. Give yourself a night in or a night out that allows you to slow down and pay attention to yourself since you have been ignoring this for some time. It's time to learn more about yourself. You need to fall in love with yourself again.

How can you see your beauty?

Five of Cups:

For some time now, you have been very self-conscious and insecure about your beauty. Every day when you look in the mirror, you feel as though you lack everything society deems beautiful.

Death:

It is through losing this mindset that you will be able to recognize how beautiful you are. It's time to let go of the way you think of yourself and embrace how beautiful you are. You don't need to think of beauty in terms of what society says, as that is incorrect. Everything and everyone is beautiful, you just have to change the way you see things.

Potion:

This is the card that tells you to love yourself. You are being encouraged to do things that make you feel beautiful by your guides. Take a luxurious bath, use a rosewater face mask, journal, etc. Making yourself feel loved is the key to recognizing your beauty.

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you!

Venmo: @ aphrostarot Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

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xpeachesncream · 3 years

Text

off the grid | seven

summary: it was as simple as swapping places with a stranger from across the world to get away from everything back home. that is - until you meet Jimin. things become more complicated as he unfolds a new chapter in your life that you were initially trying to avoid.

pairing: reader x pjm

genre: post-college au, christmas/holiday au | angst, fluff, smut (to come)

words: 4.1k

chapter warnings: fluff, cussing, flirting, hints of sex/sexual comments, breakups and exes, alcohol consumption, intoxication, dancing/grinding, good friends and good company, insecurities, lots of overthinking

notes: last two chapters will be posted tomorrow and the following day!

> series masterlist <

The next morning, you wake up to the warm sun hitting your face. You quickly grab your phone to check the time and see that it's a little past 10AM. Jimin is sound asleep behind you, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist. You slowly turn, smiling to yourself as you watch him breathe quietly. Your hand rests on his cheek as you lay small kisses on his lips and nose, causing him to flutter his eyes open and smile into one of your kisses.

"Goodmorning to you too." He slightly chuckles as he wraps both arms around you and brings you closer.

"Wake up." You whine.

"I'm awake." He says, his eyes still closed.

"Doesn't look like it." You lay another kiss on his lips.

"I mean if it means more kisses, then no. I'm not awake." You playfully smack his shoulder, causing him to scrunch his nose and open his eyes. "Ha, ow." You sit up, resting onto your elbows as you look down at him. Jimin finally opens his eyes to check his phone, all while a hand is caressing your back. "Oh shit."

"Hm?"

"Fuck, that's right." He groans a bit.

"What is it?"

"The boys are out to the bars at Hongdae tonight. I'd rather much stay in with you, though."

"Ah, don't be a party pooper, Park." You laugh. "Go to the bars."

"Only if you come with. I think it's the usual, plus some of our friends from school will be coming by."

"That sounds fun. What's the celebration?"

"Mmm, nothing really. Just wanna get together and enjoy the night."

"Yeah, let's go. That sounds fun." He smiled.

"Mmkay, love." His voice is still deep and raspy, causing you to bite onto your bottom lip.

"Speaking of school, do you happen to have any pictures from college still?" Your curiosity gets to the best of you since you've heard them talk about their college days so much.

"Yeah, a ton." He laughed. "Wanna see some? You'll see baby Taehyung and Jungkook. They definitely look way different now."

"Even better." He tilts his phone to show you pictures from his college days. His black, pink, blue and purely blonde-haired days, and the way his hair was longer or styled differently with a clear undercut, caused your heart to flutter at how good he looked no matter the color or style. He sees the glow in your eyes and smiles, continuing to scroll down. You see a ton of pics of him, Jungkook, Taehyung, Jin and Hoseok hanging out individually or all together. There were a few unfamiliar faces in other photos, but nonetheless, Jimin always showed off his bright smile and laugh.

Then there was a picture he stumbled upon that caused you to raise an eyebrow. He didn't seem to mind it, even though you knew it was a picture of him and his ex. She looked up at him while he had his arm around her waist, both laughing in a very candid picture. She had popped up in two more pictures, Jimin either wrapping his arms around her or her on his back.

"Who's that?" You weren't sure how to bring up the question, or if you should have even brought it up at all. You didn't even tell him Taehyung had brought up his ex in your conversation with him at the Common Ground.

"My ex." He looked at you, puppy eyes and all.

"Wanna tell me about her?" You rested your head on his chest, the both of you still looking up at his phone.

"We dated for almost 3 years. We broke up early last year. And honestly, I don't really know. We were good until we weren't." You felt him slightly shrug. "That's probably as best as I could put it. We started off like any other couple in its honeymoon phase, then eventually, I gave more to the relationship than she did. It was pretty obvious she was over the relationship and wanted to see other people, but I tried not to have any bad blood with her when we broke up. For the most part, we had more good times than bad, and she was my friend first and foremost before we became a couple. As long as she was happy, you know?"

"Mhm." You look up at him. "Have you talked since you broke up?"

"No. She moved on pretty quickly and I felt like we both needed the space, anyways." You nodded.

"How are you such an angel?"

"What do you mean?" He chuckled.

"I don't know. You're just too good to be true, sometimes." Seriously, how? How could someone just be so understanding like that? Sure, he definitely was hurt. It's inevitable to feel hurt and completely destroyed, especially if you found out that the person you loved didn't really love you in the same way anymore. Wouldn't that make you pissed off? Sad? Like all these years didn't actually matter? Jimin continues to surprise you every day and this is why it's been hard not to get attached. Exhibit A, right here. He was just full of love, patience and warmth.

"Mm, I just consider myself to be a simple person living a simple life." His hand is now tangled in your hair, lightly massaging your scalp. "I try not to overcomplicate things. Just takes up too much energy."

"Simple? For the record, I think you're pretty cool." He laughed.

"Such a compliment coming from a pretty girl like you." He says playfully, causing you to hit his chest. The rest of the time, he begins to talk more about the other pictures he comes across, but your mind continues to wander. Why did he have pictures of his ex on his phone still? It wasn't a bad thing, knowing what you know. But part of you couldn't help but feel like Jimin was still holding onto that part of his life, even though he says he isn't. Was he still holding onto her? Lets say you both did end up working this out one way or another - what if she wanted him back? Would he instantly drop you to get back with her? Especially since she could physically be there for him 24/7? It honestly worried you, even if you weren't sure what this was, but you brush off the thoughts and simply respond to him by smiling and nodding.

It was such a bad habit of yours to assume the worst right away. A bad habit you had trouble unlearning.

Once you both deemed it was time to get up and get on with the day, you quickly showered and threw on some clothes. You borrowed a small duffle bag from Yana's closet to throw in your outfit for tonight's bar festivities as you didn't feel comfortable roaming around in it throughout the day since it was too cold.

Jimin drove you both to his apartment so he could get himself ready while you waited. Jungkook was in the kitchen getting himself a late bowl of cereal, while Taehyung sat in his room with the door wide open.

"Had a fun night, kids?" Jungkook winked and smirked at you both. You felt your cheeks heat up as you blushed and tried to avoid eye contact.

"Shut up." Jimin laughed.

"Better yet, how productive was it?" Taehyung yelled from his room.

"TAEHYUNG-AH!" Jimin yelled, making you giggle to yourself as you sat on the couch watching him pay a visit to Taehyung to scold him some more.

"Are you coming tonight, Y/N?" Jungkook sits at their dining table.

"Yeah, I am."

"Sweet. Save me a dance?"

"Sure." You chuckled.

"What are you and Jimin up to today?"

"You know, I have no idea. He doesn't like to tell me these things."

"I'm taking her to the tower." Jimin yells from his room.

"Can we come with?" Taehyung asks.

"No, I don't want you guys to go."

"Jimin!" You shout back. "Yes, you can come with us." You hear Jimin groan as he begins to shower, making Jungkook laugh.

"Grouch. It'll be fun!" You shake your head as you make your way into Jimin's room to drop off your duffle bag of clothes. You sit criss-crossed on his bed until he appears in a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is damp and slicked back messily. Your eyes fixate on his abs and apollo's belt, causing Jimin to laugh.

"Personality is up here, Y/N." You look up to meet his eyes and smile sheepishly.

"Woops." You joke. "Couldn't see it through all of that." You wave your hand in a circular motion in front of his chest and abdomen areas.

"Mhm, wanna tell me more?" He makes his way to his closet to throw on some clothes. For God's sake.

"Mm, maybe later." He whips his head back and smirks.

"Later, huh?"

"You little nasty!"

"Says the one who was like 'I'd rather you do it inside me.'" He mocked your tone and laughed, causing you to throw his pillow at him. "Ow."

"Go get dressed, please."

"Yes, princess." He throws on black and white button up short sleeve and distressed black jeans with boots. He throws on a thick jacket and fixes his hair before walking out to meet the rest of you in the living room.

The day turns out more productive than you both thought it would be, all thanks to Jungkook and Taehyung. Besides visiting the tower and looking at the exquisite view, they figured walking around town without any agenda would be fun. In which it was, because you unlocked more stores to buy souvenirs from and more foods to try. Jimin took a ton of polaroids of the three of you, having fun and enjoying the weather, which actually wasn't too cold today.

You all get back a little past dinner time and chill for a bit before getting ready to hit the bars. The cold picked up a little bit since earlier, but you knew once you got inside and drank a little bit, you would get warmer. Taehyung was the designated driver again and it took quite a bit to get to your designation, but it was nothing too far.

The streets were flooded with people already, swarming with college kids from the nearby university. You held onto Jimin's hand as you walked behind him and navigated the streets. The bar itself was pretty nice, and there was a good amount of people already hanging out inside. You heard lots of greetings and yelling, signaling that Jimin and them finally found their friends in the crowd. He brought you forward and introduced you to his college friends, his arm held tightly around your waist. They wasted no time getting their drinks and taking shots, in which you happily joined in to get the night started. There was enough room for you all to crowd around a table and dance around.

Shot after shot, cocktail after cocktail, your body started to feel numb from the alcohol. You were at a good level and you were highly enjoying yourself tonight. You were here with Jimin and his friends, having a good time at a laid back bar in Hongdae. What could go wrong?

"Hi pretty lady." Jimin wraps his arms around your waist as you rest your arms around his neck.

"Hey, you."

"Having fun?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Good." He places a kiss on your forehead before taking you to the dance floor. "Come dance with me." You two make it to the middle of the dance floor, Jimin immediately pressing his body against yours as you grind onto him for some time. It becomes playful, the two of you locking eyes every now and then just to smile and laugh. He turns you around and you two begin to dance around each other, Jimin showing off his moves and how good of a dancer he actually really is. The boy can dance and sing?! Yeesh. Somebody send help.

"May I steal a dance?" Jungkook comes in, holding his hand out for you to grab. Jimin smiles and nods, allowing you and Jungkook to dance around each other as if you were long time friends, him twirling you around from time to time. As a song and a half passes, the both of you make your way to the bar because JK promises he'd buy you a shot if you took one with him. He asks for a double shot of some sort of whiskey, which makes your insides crumble. Yuck. But cheers to new friends and adventures, right?

"Hey, I'm really happy we met." Jungkook smiles at you and raises his shot glass. "Please promise me you'll keep in touch no matter what? We're friends now." He slightly pouts.

"Of course."

"Cheers, Y/N."

"Cheers!" You smile and tap your glass against his. The both of you take the shot quickly, your faces immediately turning sour as the alcohol travels down your bodies. Jin and Hoseok make their way over to converse, trapping you with another shot. You gladly take it since you weren't all that drunk, and you felt like you could handle another. By the time you all had drank a little more and chatted a bit, you look over Jungkook's shoulder to see Jimin speaking to another woman. He's smiling and whispering in her ear, his hand on the small of her back. She turns to look behind her when another one of Jimin's friends greets her and you realize it's his ex. Jungkook can see that your smile had died down, so he looks behind him to check out what's going on.

"Oh." He simply says and shakes his head. "Don't worry, Jimin is just being the nice guy he is but that's completely done with." You give him a tight-lipped smile and nod.

"Yeah, you're right." Is all you can say.

"Come on, let's dance with the hyungs." He nods over to the dance floor towards Jin and Hoseok. You take one last look behind him to see that Jimin is still talking to his ex but has finally created some distance between the two of them.

Maybe JK was right, what if you were worrying for no reason? For a minute, you felt a little guilty, so you brush off the thoughts and continue to dance with the boys. But then that quickly fades when you realize some time has passed and Jimin hasn't returned to your side. Instead, his ex is whispering his ear, her hands placed along his sides.

Then it suddenly hits you, a huge wave of sadness and frustration taking over you completely. This wasn't going to work. This wasn't going to work because you couldn't physically be here for Jimin like she could. No matter how you both decided to make it work. It wouldn't be fair. Jimin needs someone to be here for him. To care for him, support him and to see him. To show him that he's loved. You couldn't do that being in LA.

Maybe he really was still holding onto parts of his past. Maybe it was just better that way.

"Hey, I think I'm just going to head home." You tippy-toe to let Jungkook know. He shakes his head and looks down at you with worry.

"Wait, what's wrong Y/N? Let me know how I can help."

"It's nothing, I'm just feeling pretty tired. My feet hurt."

"Do you want me to grab Jimin?"

"No, he's busy. I don't wanna bother him." You lie, even though Jungkook can tell this is about his ex. Very clearly. "I can make my way home."

"I'll tell Taehyung to drive you."

"No, I promise. I'll make it. Please just keep having fun. I'll probably see you guys tomorrow." You give him a reassuring smile before walking off. You needed to get out of there before he could stop you any further. You tried to rush down the street, hoping none of them would come after you. But you should've known.

"Y/N!" You look back to see Jimin slightly pushing his way through the crowd to reach you. "Y/N, wait!"

"Jimin, go back inside. I'm fine." He grabs your wrist gently.

"What's going on?"

"I'm just tired." He shakes his head.

"Are you seriously going to lie to me?"

"I'm not doing this here. I just want to go home." You plead, breaking away from his grip.

"Let me go with you."

"Jimin—"

"Y/N, stop. I'm not letting you go anywhere by yourself at this time. You either let me come with or we both go back inside." You sigh, making your way to a cab that was already parked and waiting for you to come in. Jimin gets in on the other side, directing the driver to Yana's address. The ride is quiet, your hands resting on your lap as you avoid eye contact and look out the window. You couldn't even describe your feelings right now because ya, you were hurt for many reasons. One being that he didn't even come to your side that entire time he was with her. And two, reality fucking sucks. It was never going to work between the both of you and you hated believing it could so quickly.

He quickly rushes over to open your door and follows behind you as you walk into Yana's loft. You throw the keys and your bag onto the kitchen island, tossing your shoes messily to the side.

"Y/N, please stop giving me this silent treatment. What's going on?" He gently grabs your wrists to make you face him. You look at his face and begin to cry. That face became so special to you in such a short amount of time. That face, that body, this entire being. And it hurt so, so bad.

"Jimin, what are we doing?" You cried.

"What do you mean, baby?" He asks softly.

"No, don't call me that." He's taken aback by your statement.

"W-what?"

"Did you really think this was going to work between us?"

"Why can't it?"

"Because I live in Los Angeles, Jimin! If you haven't forgotten, I don't live here and I'm going back home in a few days."

"So what?" He shrugs. "I'm going to make this work with you because I want to. I don't care about the time difference, distance, whatever. It doesn't matter to me."

"Well, it does to me! Okay? I care! Because I won't physically be here to be with you. I don't think it's fair."

"Is this about my ex?" He stepped back a bit to read your body language. "Is it because you saw us talking earlier?"

"N-no."

"Y/N, I really don't appreciate you lying to me." You wipe your tears aggressively and cross your arms. "I was catching up with her and I'm sorry I didn't get to introduce you. I'm not gonna lie, she was talking about hanging out and seeing each other more but I told her I was done with it."

"Are you really?"

"Yes." His face dropped. "How can you question me about my own feelings for you?"

"Jimin. I don't think you get this." You pleaded. "I can't be here physically. Do you not understand how unfair that is? She can be here for you and I—"

"I don't want her. I want you." You shake your head.

"This should have never happened between us." He furrowed his forehead.

"Huh? Are you saying you regret this?"

"No, but it should have never gotten this-this.. complicated. I came here to get away from all that mess back home. I just wanted to be free from it all and find myself, as cliché as that shit sounds. And now it just feels like I've completely defeated the purpose of my trip here."

"It sounds like you do, though."

"I'm not saying that. I just.." You cried harder. "I can't do this with you. And trust, I know you'll meet someone who could do better for you and be here for you. What if I can't be the person you deserve? Especially being across the world."

"I don't give a fuck about anyone else but you, Y/N! Why can't you just see that? I just want you."

"Jimin." You shake your head as you cried more. You physically feel your heart breaking, each bit falling to the deep pits of your stomach. You almost feel queazy and nauseous, like you could hurl any moment now.

"It doesn't have to be this way." He says lowly. You can see the hurt on his face. "But you know what, I'll respect you and your space."

"You know—" He shook his head and opened the door.

"Save it, Y/N. You made it very clear what you wanted." He sighed. "You became everything to me, you know? I care about you so much." He paused. "I-I fell in love with you and wanted to give you my all, but I guess it wasn't enough." He says, almost at a whisper before slamming the door shut, leaving you to cry your eyes out on the kitchen floor. You quickly pull out your phone, feeling completely lost and alone.

"Pick up, pick up." You whisper to yourself. It was early morning in LA and you knew Namjoon would be up, so you were just hoping he would be around to pick up the phone.

"Wasssssup!" Namjoon smiles, but it instantly fades when he realizes you're crying. "Woah, hey. What's going on?"

"Joon, I'm so fucking stupid." You cry into your hands, not giving a fuck what you look like over Facetime. "I'm so, so fucking stupid."

"Slow down, stop saying that. What is it?"

"I should have never gotten into this mess. I should have stuck to my plan and I shouldn't have gotten so attached to Jimin. This was never going to work." You go on and on.

"Did he do something?" You can see Joon's jaw slightly clench and tense up.

"No." You sighed. "No. It's just, what was I thinking? Falling in love with someone when I knew damn well I was only going to be here for a limited amount of time. I came here to get away from all that. All the stress and relationship bullshit."

"You can't help what you feel, Y/N."

"Yeah, but this was never going to work no matter how much I want to be with him. My life is there. The distance, not being able to physically care and love for him like-like-like his ex or some shit!" You stutter.

"You guys ran into his ex, I'm assuming."

"At the fucking bar! And she was all touchy with him."

"Okay, but how did it actually go down?" He leans forward, waiting to hear the real confrontation between Jimin and his ex.

"He told her he didn't wanna see her or take their relationship further anymore. He said he was done."

"So, why are you making an issue out of this?"

"I don't know Joonie. I wanna be with him but I can't. I'm afraid of not being able to deliver and give him what he deserves. He's an angel. I'm nowhere near that."

"Y/N, I love you. You know I do, right?" You nodded as you sniffed and wiped the remaining tears away. "But I don't think this is a good enough excuse to push yourself away from Jimin. If you really care about him like you say you do, then this distance shouldn't matter. You both could make it work as long as you both think it's worth it. And from what I can see and hear, I think he really has it for you."

"Don't say that, it's not helping."

"I'm saying it like it is." He sighed. "I know you've been hurt before and I know Romeo was a fucking dumbass, but you can't keep holding onto that, thinking every experience will be the same. You need to leave him in the past, where he belongs. The things you've told me about Jimin and the things Yana has told me about Jimin have only shown me how great of a guy he really is. Maybe you just need to let your guard down and take a chance with him."

"I'm just scared. I'm scared he might find better, you know? He'll realize this distance is too much. He'll realize how much work this is."

"I think he has found that already. And I don't think it's fair for you to speak on his feelings."

"Are you on my side or his?!"

"I just want you to think about this before you come back home feeling even shittier than when you got there. Whatever it is, whatever you decide, I'll always support you. But don't push your happiness away just because you're afraid of the little things. You'll never grow that way."

"Namjoon." You cried. "I really don't know what to do. We got into this argument and he left. I'm sure he's done."

"I'm here for you. I got you." Namjoon repeated, giving you the space you needed to let it all out and cry on the other end.

#bts #bts fanfiction #jimin fanfiction #jimin #park jimin #pjm series #pjm x reader #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #off the grid #otg #writing

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