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hotvintagepoll · 1 month

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Propaganda

Maria Montez (Cobra Woman, Arabian Nights)—maria montez was a dominican actress who rose to fame starring in a series of technicolor adventure movies in the 1940s hollywood, becoming popularly known as "the queen of technicolor”. her dramatic persona and elaborate bejeweled attire in these films subsequently lead to her becoming an early camp icon to underground queer filmmakers like jack smith and andy warhol. maria was fiercely determined to become a Movie Star from early on and tirelessly promoted herself (she would be killing it as an influencer today probably) - she deliberately cultivated an outré star persona in the tradition of old school screen vamps like theda bara and alla nazimova and she was always serving no matter where she was or what she was doing.

Judy Garland (Meet Me In St. Louis, A Star is Born, Summer Stock)— Judy is the GOAT when it comes to classic movie musicals. The voice of an angel who deserved so much better than she got. She can sing she can dance she can act she's a triple threat. Though she had a turbulent personal life (her treatment as a child star by the studio system makes me mad as hell like Louis b Mayer fight me ((she was made to believe that she was physically unattractive by the constant criticism of film executives who made her feel ugly and who manipulated her onscreen appearance by capping her teeth and using discs in her nose to change its shape and Mayer called her "my little hunchback" like imagine hearing that as a child and not having damage)) she always goddamn delivered on screen and in any performance she gave. She began in vaudeville performing with her sisters and was signed to MGM at 13. Starting out in supporting parts especially paired with mickey Rooney in a bunch of films (she's the best part tbh) she eventually transferred to the lead role. She is best known for her starring role in movie musicals like the iconic Wizard of Oz (somewhere over the rainbow still hits hard and is ranked the top film song of all time), meet me in St. Louis (Judy singing have your self a merry little Christmas brings tears to the eyes she is that powerful), the Harvey girls (she looks like a technicolor dream and sings a catchy af song about trains), Easter parade ( dancing and singing with Fred Astaire), for me and my gal, the pirate, and summer stock ( with pal Gene Kelly who she helped when he was starting out and he helped her when she was struggling). But she also does non- singing just as well like the clock ( her first movie where she sings no songs and is an underrated ww2 era romance), her Oscar nominated a star is born ( like the man that got away she put her whole soul in that and I have beef with the fact she lost to grace kelly ((whom I love but like still not even her best work)), and judgement at Nuremberg (a courtroom drama about the nazi war criminal trials). Outside of film she made concert appearances to record-breaking audiences, released 8 studio albums, and had her own Emmy-nominated tv series. She was the youngest (39) and first female recipient of the Cecil B DeMille award for lifetime achievement in the film industry. Girl was a lifelong democrat and was a financial and moral supporter of many causes including the civil rights movement (she was at the March on Washington and held a press conference to protest the 16th street Baptist church bombings). She was a friend of the Kennedy family and would call jfk weekly often ending the calls by singing the first few lines of somewhere over the rainbow (she thought of them as Gemini twins).She was a member of the committee for the first amendment which was formed in response to the HUAC investigations. Though she died far too young and tragically she remains an icon for her work and her life. As a girl who didn't feel like i was as pretty as everyone else I have always felt a connection to Judy and I just really love her.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Maria:

Dominican actress dubbed the Queen of Technicolor. Starred in colourful action adventure movies and was Universal Studios “glamour girl” of the 1940s. She starred in 26 movies before her untimely death in 1951. Shot to stardom with Arabian Nights in 1942. Fought with universal over roles she was cast in and managed to negotiate better pay for herself before going freelance and starring in European movies.

Judy:

Judy's voice alone qualifies her for at least top ten hottest HOT VINTAGE MOVIE WOMEN. She was a truly incredible swing singer, with a stunning voice on top of her technique. Her short dark hair looked incredible in just about any style. Have I mentioned her swagger? I can’t do it justice with words. She had swagger. She was funny as hell, and clever too. Incredibly charming and cool. I adore her.

Her eyes, her voice have bewitched me

I mean how can you beat the one and only Judy? She's beautiful, her smile is contagious, the way she sings with her whole body. You can't help but love her.

youtube

Beautiful woman, love her singing voice. And she can do everything between happy or silly and angry or heartbroken

#judy garland #maria montez #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 2

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legy · 10 months

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random game roundup 1

The Other Side

included in: Indie Bundle for Abortion Funds but also it’s pwyw with no minimum

this is a game where you are trapped in a room and need to follow instructions on the terminal to drill through the walls and escape. it is very short (i completed it in about 14 minutes). this game excels massively in atmosphere in art direction. i found that interacting with objects was not extremely clear (as in it was hard for me to figure out where exactly it wanted me to be clicking). really enjoyed having to diegetically press the keys on the keyboard to interact with the terminal.

overall would recommend if you want a quick horror experience, especially for the asking price of “free”

My Little Pony: Super Ethical Shipping Climax!

included in: Indie bundle for Palestinian Aid, also it’s free

i am not the target audience for this game.

Naughty Elves - Christmas puzzle game

included in: Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality, Indie bundle for Palestinian Aid

not porn :/

fairly straightforward puzzle game. santa’s elves stole all the presents so you need to throw snowballs at them through the window until they fall over. i think it’s really funny but not very well communicated that you are stuck outdoors (presumably can only enter houses through the chimney)

i don’t think you should play this

Attention Heroes!

included in: Indie bundle for Palestinian Aid & it’s pwyw with no minimum

required minimum of two players so unfortunately i will have to skip. the description is really funny tho i really want to find out what self-centered gameplay means

Epic Battle Fantasy 4

included in: Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality

honest to god fucking flash game. fantastic. this is a jrpg which are typically very hard to get an impression of in such a short time period but fortunately this one lets you loose basically instantly. i can tell theres insane depth to this already. the humor is really dated (its from 2014 so whatever) but the art style is generally very cute. music is hot ass tho. i am actually probably going to come back to this one after i’m done with this post

Discovering Colors - Animals

included in: Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality

Bara Blackjack

included in: Queer Games Bundle 2022

this orc did not come dressed for strip poker.

it’s literally exactly what it looks like. which is awesome. main complaint is that his dialogue would show up and vanish so fast i had no idea what he said most of the time. he really wanted me to see his penis though

he’s circumcised btw

Hungry Frog

included in: Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality, but it’s also free

no shit this is frog fractions but sincere

1977: Radio Aut

included in: Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality + it’s free

i didnt realize peppino was a real name i thought pizza tower made it up

this was really cool tho its a short biography on the life of a communist who was killed by the sicillian mafia for standing up against them.

This Call May Be Recorded

included in: Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality + it’s free

what if telemarketing had undertale combat

i kinda didnt like this at all tbh. it didnt feel like it was trying to make a point. like not even the point of expressing frustration at working at a call center. the people you call are all really annoying caricatures and you are just a poor guy following an incoherent script. this really needs more time in the oven

#random game roundup

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mevekagvain · 2 years

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Chapter 421 - ...Artist is really making some weird bara shit with how he's drawing Uzhir. He's too wide, I mean, look at him!

- Is... is Gayare's modifications just some steam vents in his body? To cool off cells that way so they can reach higher limits?

Chapter 424 - Not Raizel's panicked sweat when he realises he can't ask Lunark shit after she's gone 😭

Chapter 425 - Dorant at least isn't a complete idiot and tells two warriors to deal with Frankenstein at once.

Chapter 426 - And suddenly Ignes is wearing a push up bra...

- Okay Gorma calling out to Krano to help him did make me sad :(

Chapter 427 - Karias using Amore!! My second fav soul weapon along with Blood Witch <3

Chapter 428 - I like this panel of him.

- ALSO I CAN'T BELIEVE HE MADE BRAANG BALD SON BOY WHY ARE YOU SO FUNNY ILU 😭 but also he's right why isn't Braang's hair regenerating :/

Chapter 429 - The fact that Ignes offers to let Lunark go as long as she leaves M-21 behind... utterly fascinating. Love her superiority complex and how it manifests differently with Lunark compared to Seira.

- ...How does growing scales make one stronger exactly? Like obvsly Krano is stronger with them but how? Is it Deviantart rules or something?

- Yeah see every Rael Rajak flashback shows that Rajak is a good brother when he's around but unfortunately that itself is the problem. He was rarely present. It gets funny and sad ig but idc idc if you imagine that said flashbacks are the only times Rajak spent time with him.

Chapter 430 - Yes! The time Karias used Rael as bait to buy himself time 😆 Also Braang regrew some of his hair :)

Chapter 431 - Oooh Uzhir saving his unnamed teammate 🥺 I love seeing camaraderie among antagonists. Like yeah he got disintegrated in like the next few panels but that's irrelevant.

- Wolfie!

Chapter 433 - "Even your father Roctis could not get cocky around me" is definitely an ego booster. Good for Lunark. A modified clan leader being wary of her strength? Interesting. But once again I guess that means Urokai and Zarga are just better lmao.

- I like how Lantheart looks like a really long sea urchin.

- Lantheart made a snake :)

- Zaiga the magic ww is here... But more importantly, Raskreia and Kei!!!

Chapter 434 - Hi Gaura, hi Bashum. Are the glasses and monocle you two wear for fashion or do you guys just not have eye surgery?

- I never did agree with Zaiga's explanation tbh. 'A few warriors' invading Lukedonia is already a declaration of war, no? Especially if the werewolves don't try to fix the situation immediately and instead ignore it. It'd be one thing if Maduke sent an apology and an explanation that they were rogue warriors but he didn't so...

Otoh... I do think just coming to get revenge for Rajak alone is weird. But tbf, she probably did mean to talk to Maduke first, the wws are the murderous ones who didn't take her to him. She probably only ordered Rozaria to prepare her attack after realising the wws were not going to do so. At least that's the rational explanation. Canonically she just uh. Attacks the wws. End of story.

- Speaking of Rozaria, the Lukedonian script looks gorgeous. And I'm assuming that's Lukedonian cursive too. I do wonder if that's an existing script, was based off of one, or is simply pretty scribbles because I'm leaning towards option 3 since it does seem like an amalgation of different scripts I know.

Chapter 435 - No don't take your clothes off 😨

- Meanwhile Kei's already sick of the wws lol. He's right though, they need to get new lines.

Chapter 437 - Ah yes, Karias is everyone's big brother. How come Rajak has so much trouble with just Rael if he's doing fine with Rael, Seira, and Regis?

Chapter 438 - No but I never understood why Frankenstein drafted plans to make Dark Spear in the first place. Like yeah he abandoned them after seeing how much suffering and death was required but surely you would have noticed that before the full draft? Or is it some powerpuff girls shit where he just needed to get some weird ingredients and then add the countless souls for power? Plus... why didn't he just burn his plans? Why just leave them around after abandoning them?

- Another reversed hero vs villain scenario, this time courtesy of Dorant. Of course considering Dorant's backstory he's more of a misguided villain compared to Urokai. Still looks the part of the hero with his yellow and light blue compared to Frankenstein's purple though. It's actually better this way since it repeats the theme but still contrasts with Urokai.

Chapter 439 - Wolf again!

- Aaaand Frankenstein pulled out Blood Spear.

Chapter 440 - You know you're crazy if even Karias doubts you 😔

Chapter 441 - Zaiga's pack of wolves vs Kei's tiger. Nice.

Sidenotes - Dorant's eyes always looks so blank and empty. It's cos he's dumb. Brain empty no thoughts.

- Shoutout to Uzhir's green haired comrade who never talked to anyone else at all. The Kertia fucking wish they could have what he did.

- Thinking about how wws must have crazy good immune systems to not get cancer from their regeneration again.

- Won't accept Rael's height but it is kinda funny imagining that getting a soul weapon gives you a height boost. And I do hc that Seira is still going to get taller and hasn't finished growing yet.

#noblesse #raining while reading

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fujoxhime · 1 year

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Yuri is mostly repulsive to me bc I can only read abt high school girls for so long I'm an. Adult I want to read abt adults but so much is just teenagers going wahh for grown men to masterbate to. my sister got me a Yuri manga 2 Christmases ago and I opened it and it was just a pedo male fantasy. I wish Yuri repulsed men the way yaoi does. Tbh I've never seen a real man like female made yaoi unless it had a crossdresser or shota. Every male Ive known has mostly been into shota and trap shit with some rapey bara sprinkled in. Bunco no pico or however u say it was made for men btw. I guess it makes sense. Traps don't exist irl bc only prepubescent boys can pass as girls but hmm I do suppose that tracks with how everyone I've met (who admits to liking traps or makes a lot of jokes abt them) in person and observed online has shown sympathy to pedos and wants to either be a child rape victim or admits to wanting to commit the act themsleves.

Also they r all misogynistic racists even if they identify as left wing

^ just imagine a diverse group of anorexic 4channers and obese neckbeards in those cute clothes instead and you'll get my point

#men and women both btw dont worry im aware of onneshotas

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wolfblabbersaboutfujoandshipshit · 1 year

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Intro Post I Guess

Hey, you can call Meg/Megu. This is pretty much my sideblog to ramble about ship and BL stuff. Mainly just made this so I could have somewhere to post my threads, and not spam friends and others with my ship stuff. Gonna use this pinned as an easy link to threads or whatnot that I write.

23 yr old cis bisexual dude, pronouns are he/him. Mainly focused in JJBA/JJK rn and NitroChiral. Please be 18+ if following, I may discuss, write, or post NSFW and I don’t want minors following. If I see you’re a minor, I’ll block.

More info below + links

I may post my main in this, but for rn here’s my Ao3

Ao3

Threads

Jujutsu Kaisen

Sukufushi/SKFS/宿伏

Togainu no Chi AU

Fics

Jojo’s Bizzare Adventure

AbbaGio/GioAbba

Their Moment

Perplexing

More Info

Even though a lot of this will be BL and MLM pairings, I also do like Het and GL and WLW parings so just expect those as well.

TWs will be used on posts that deal with potentially dark content.

If you have ideas that I could write for threads, feel free to say em I may write them or not, I like writing. Just no lolishota related, that’s makes me greatly uncomfortable.

Tbh I probably won’t be posting about Bara/Furry stuff on here, more likely I’ll make a different side blog for that stuff esp. since that would mostly be NSFW.

Feel free to mute tags or block me if you dislike a ship or whatnot.

I honestly don’t care about Top/Bottom dynamics, as long as it’s about my pair I don’t care either way. Yeah I may have some preferences like liking KakJota more than JotaKak but it’s not an end all be all for me. If you’re someone who’s a stickler for that type of the stuff you’ll probably get annoyed lol. I will try at least to mark

I don’t really have a DNI, just don’t be a fucking MAP or bigot or some shit.

To be blunt, I honestly don’t give two shits about Pro/Anti related stuff. It’s annoying and just grates on my nerves, esp. coming from Twitter where some fandoms were infested with nonstop fighting. I mainly mention this in case people ask “Oh are you pro or anti affiliated”, dude I just want to ramble about my ships like some weeaboo, not have this blog become discourse focused. Again if you genuinely dislike a ship I post you can mute the tags or block me, no hard feelings will be felt.

If I’m talking about a ship I dislike, I will censor the ship name so not to shit up the fans of it’s tags/search

#pinned #intro #wolf rambles

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 2 years

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Had to look up what a bakestone was, if this is your super secret masterplan to make people knowledegable about Wales via funny tumblr content it's working, now I'm wondering whether people still largely use them and whether there's any difference to pans with the results you're getting? Also do you just put it on the stove like a regular pan? How does this work?

The master plan is working

Oh people very much use them! I wouldn't say every person in Wales has a bakestone, but they are a fair unremarkable thing for someone to own tbh. You own one if you're a baker on the reg. If you're the sort to own fancy cutters and four different types of flour and six different types of sugar and vanilla paste instead of extract, and you have an expensive food processor and Proper Knives, then yeah, you'll have one, most likely. Plus, any bakery that sells Welshcakes uses one. Swansea market has a stall where you can literally watch the nice lady make them - she's got a fucking massive bakestone there, and makes them throughout the day so you buy fresh.

It's very rare for people to make anything other than Welshcakes on them these days. I've made Scotch pancakes on mine before, and I know people who do crepes, and a woman Steff used to work with has three - one for meat, one for fish, one for cake. Oh, and I used to make bara planc on mine sometimes? And bara mel, both of which are bread loaves, but they're denser than most modern breads because they're very much poverty foods from The Past. Tasty tho.

I find there is a difference between a bakestone and a pan-cooked Welshcake - the cooking process is different, and so it does make a small difference in the final product. A bakestone is thick, you see. The generic type most people own these days looks like this:

So, about quarter of an inch of cast iron, which holds an incredibly stable and even temperature. Traditional non-commercial ones are often thicker again. Mine is a family heirloom, really - I inherited it (via competition, I had to make better Welshcakes than my dad lol suck it dad) from my grandmother, and it was originally made for her in 1921 by her brother, who worked at Llanwern Steelworks at the time. It's a full inch thick, and it's the absolute best. Whereas pans are way, way thinner, so while they do work and are absolutely fine, they also don't produce quite the same steady temperature.

Anyway - yes, on the stove like a regular pan. I have to give mine a full hour to heat up before use, so I generally put it on and then make the dough and roll it and cut it, to reduce waiting around. You also have to be very careful with cleaning them - the surface needs to be seasoned (a combination of butter and salt that you apply to a super hot bakestone and smoke fills your kitchen so you have to have the windows open) and you don't want to clean that back off again, nor accidentally rust one. Also, Welsh kids are taught young to never touch the bakestone because it might still be hot so if you walk up to one and touch it you get a row off your nan, that's how it works.

Anyway, I think that's everything! I had a quick look in case anyone is about to ask and apparently John Lewis sell them for £26 these days, which is surprisingly cheap.

#food #WALES!#closed for cleaning on mondays

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moxfirefly · 4 years

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So an ask @teenage-mutant-ninja-freak got really has me thinking. So I’m hoping on the train and giving my own two cents on the guys with an s/o who’s ovulating and what goes down.

@tmntspidergirl did her own version so give it a looksie and some love!!

Liste my peeps, wow, what y’all getting yourselves into

Donnie KNOWS, ok and it’s not just cause he’s the smarty pants of it. You once told him when you were on your period and boy just made the calculations and knows when the next cycle happens

But here’s the thing, the little issue. The first time you spend a week with him post menstruation and ovulating?

You know somethings off with him. He’s acting all off and he’s so grabby with you especially in public (like in front of his brothers) I mean this man is straight up making you sit on his lap, he’s pawing at you and when did he become ok with kissing you like t h a t in front of people?

Don’s a private lad when it comes to you and his alone time

But he’s got you pinned against the sink one night while you were doing the dishes. And he’s so tall like when he leans down and nuzzles your ear and inhales the life out of you when he noses your hair the shivers my dudes

‘I wanna put a baby in you’ he whispers against your ear

Well you just broke Leo’s tea mug

‘Excuse me??’ You try to turn your head but he presses you hard against the sink and his hands slide to your stomach

‘You heard me’ and it’s such a territorial tone like you have to make sure this isn’t Raph and some fever dream. But not it’s Donnie, your big lovable nerd and why are you so for this idea all of a sudden?????

Let’s just say when you end up in his bed, Donnie absolutely railing the life out of you. Not once, not twice but an amount that leaves you so close to drunk on your own dopamine that you’ve forgotten how to speak properly

You don’t question when this large fucking terrapin is holding your legs to your chest after spilling himself in you.

He’s breathing so hard, sweaty and grinning ‘Don’t move love, keep all of me in you’

You nod breathlessly not even registering what he’s just said but boy do you not move an inch until he tells you that you can

Drunk Drunk Drunk off your scent

I can’t even begin to explain

He’s in a stupor almost

Mikey.exe has stopped working

He’s lowkey confused tbh like yes you’re hot but f u c k what is it about today that has you so HOT™️

He’s so transfixed by you that you gotta ask

‘Ok do I have something on my face? Is there a stain on my shirt??’

Mikey is just eying you up and down and shakes his head

He scoots closer to you and he’s not rocking that goofy smile. He’s legit studying you. It’s so bizarre seeing him so hyper focused and serious.

And obviously you’re somewhat alarmed when he straight up starts sniffing you

Your neck, your shoulders, your chest

When he starts trailing down your stomach and you’re alarmingly looking around the living room cause MIKEY PEOPLE

It takes all of your resolve and actual praying when he just straight up buries his face in your clothes crotch and the ‘holy shiiiiiit’ and full body shudder that leaves him to not moan out into the open living room

The movie is background noise at this point and whatever has taken over your orange clad boyfriend is somewhat worrisome but not at all un welcomed

Especially when you find yourself trying to muffle your noises because Mikey had straight up slide you down the makeshift couch and onto the floor. Crawled over you and begged to be inside of you

Begged, like he was going to die if this didn’t take place immediately

It’s so not you and his usual style, there isn’t the usual flirting and playful dirty talk Mikey gives you. He straight up telling you that he will Protect you, if anybody goes near you or tries something against you, omg they gonna be d-e-a-d. This lad has never been this serious.

He’s promising you everything. You’re his, and he is yours.

‘Your my mate baby, you’re my mate oh god’ and how is such a simple word turning you into actual goo??

My condolences to your cervix seriously bro r.i.p pour one out for that homie

But here’s the thing and ima do it to y’all

Sub!Leo has entered the chat

This is a time period you must take full advantage that he’s not gonna lowkey embarrassed about his subby tendencies

He’s ready for you to boss him, use him, make him beg and plead for you

All with the most stupidfied and endearing precious look on his face

So obviously you’re convinced that maybe he’s having one of those days™️ cause Leo has days where he needs to to take over (we can delve into that subject later my dudes)

And in this state he’s been all afternoon while visiting you has been weird but naturally y’all end up in the bedroom

And you end up riding him (which he absolutely fucking loves when he’s being a freaking sub)

And god he’s so mesmerized with your hips tonight, grabbing them. Pushing you harder down on him (because he’s allowed per your commands) he wants to bury himself so painfully in you, he’s a man possessed about it

He begs for it, begs for you to allow him to push into you more and more ‘please please’ he says and he looks like he’ll go mad if he doesn’t

So you allow him to switch you guys up

He’s on top but he’s still not running the show

‘You’re so good baby- fuck Lee yes yes’ and he is hiiiiigh of that and your scent how are you smelling this good, feeling this good? It’s more than the usual senses that he’s experienced with you

And I hope you don’t become a complete puddle when this lad starts pleading

Pleading™️

Fearless Leader himself yes you heard it here first folks

He’s pleading to cum inside of you, an absolute mess, he wants to mate with you, he wants to make you round with his child. He wants all of this only if only you allow it

He coos just how beautiful and glowing you would look and wow does the very thought of it make his thrust so pathetically sloppy

You’ve never felt so empowered then watching Leo cum completely undone and bury himself so far in you unwilling to pull out because he wants every last drop in you

‘I’m yours, I’m yours...please have me’ he sounds almost drunk

You hold him so close, kiss all up on him and tell his trembling self you’ll gladly carry half of him and you inside of yourself

Your legs have left the chat

You don’t know what being vertical means

Hi possessive Raph™️

Hi territorial Raph™️

The only time on the clock is baby making time

He is living, breathing and eating up your scent

Hooked on it, that shit is a drug to him and if you think his sex drive was high before

R.I.P to you my friend

This man isn’t letting you leave the bed unless it’s for a bathroom break and some Gatorade and a protein bar

No area is safe in your house. He is going to fuck you in every part, against and/or on any possible surface

It’s just a primal lightbulb turned on to the brightest setting in his head

All he knows is that he has to mate you, mark you and knock you up

All his dirty talk is focused on knockin you up. He wants to make a mother out of you, he wants you big and round with his child

And it ain’t gonna be one 😅

Big bara wants a bunch and he’s gonna do everything in his ability to give you a good amount in the first round

Seriously I fear for your well-being

But you’re absolutely OBSSESED with this side of him 🥴

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2016 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt donatello #donatello #michelangelo #mikey #donnie #leo #raph #headcanons #tmnt raph #tmnt mikey #tmnt donnie #tmnt leo #ns*w

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heyitsyn · 4 years

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Prince Iwa-Chan

Oikawa!Sister x Iwaizumi Hajime

a/n: it aggravates me that my mans bara-arms-iwa-chan is so UNDERRATED!!!!

requests open!!

like look mom, im in love

ofc youre an oikawa

tbh, i dont think iwa wouldve been comfortable w you when yall first met

lets say youre a year younger than tooru

its a well-known fact that theyve been friends since they were really young so you, being oiks’ baby sister, was also part of your little trio

like lets say they met when they were 6

that would make you about 5

since yall have an older sister, you were exposed to the girly girl stuff like dolls and princesses

ngl, tooru was too thats why hes so flamboyant

but seems his fashion style refutes that

ya didnt hear that from me

anyways

tooru had already developed a deep fascination w volleyball bc he saw it being played during the 2000 summer olympics

but you remained w your sister and continued letting her treat you like a princess

im not really sure how old his sister is but lets say she was about around middle school when you were 5-6

however, tooru still made you play w him even though you didnt know how but you didnt care bc you were close w your brother so you would play ball w him

then came along iwaizumi hajime that tooru met from school

he found out that this boy also liked volleyball and tooru yeeted them both home so they could go and play at the back yard

you peeked from your window and you just thought iwa was the most handsome boy youve ever met

ofc, you just bolted down the stairs to where your brother and his friend was

oiks saw you standing by the door w a red face and him, being still a child and not understanding crushes, thought you were sick

he went to you and beckoned hajime to follow him inside

tooru sat you down and asked if you were okay but you just kept staring at hajime

he figured that you were just confused as to who this person was

‘oh! iwa-chan! this is my little sister, y/n! y/n, this is my classmate, iwaizumi hajime!’

cue iwa hitting him at the head

‘i can introduce myself perfectly fine, bakakawa!’

iwaizumi hajime,,,

iwaizumi hajimeee,

iwaizumi y/n

that thought made you turn even redder and you squealed in embarrassment before running back to your room

lmao what

if your personality doesnt align w this, i deeply apologize

i just think if you were an oikawa, you would bound to immediately also be drawn to this handsome specimen named iwaizumi hajime

he be getting the oikawas though

iwa was actually concerned but oiks waved it off

‘don’t worry, iwa-chan. shes weird like that. lets go toss the ball!’

so that was kinda how he met you

now, since hajime basically lived in your house by how much him and your brother hung out, youve slowly mellowed out and gotten to be friends w him

despite your hatred w bugs, you still went w them to explore just bc you wanted to be around hajime

lmao tooru youre now irrelevant

hajime didnt mind and he always made sure you were okay with the adventures of the day

even though you were only like a year younger, he cant help but baby you bc of your much smaller height than him and overall cute baby face

one day, they both came home from school all sweaty bc they raced home

‘iwa-chan! you can settle in the living room while i go shower!’

‘don’t call me iwa-chan, bakakawa!’

‘then stop calling me that!’

he sat down on the couch and started doing his homework when he heard you come home from school

lmao how do little japanese kids go back and forth from school to home at the age of 6

idek how to cross the street

‘tadaima’

‘oh, okaeri, y/n’

you perked up at his voice and you ran to the living room, seeing him

‘iwa-chan!’

he grunted and you threw yourself to him in a hug

if your personality doesnt align w this, i deeply apologize

i just think if you were an oikawa, you would bound to immediately also be drawn to this handsome specimen named iwaizumi hajime

part 2

tbh it doesnt even faze him anymore since you do this to him every time

he continues doing homework and just wraps one arm around you and starts patting your head

‘tooru-nii?’

‘shower’

‘okay’

then silence

but its the good kind of silence

you and iwa just sit there with you snuggled up on him while he continues to add numbers

then it was ruined

by the pterodactyl oikawa tooru who comes flying down the stairs and glomps on to iwa’s other side

‘y/n-chan! stop hogging iwa-chan!’

‘he’s mine, tooru-nii!!’

you pout while iwa turns and gives him a glare

‘shut up, bakakawa! and stop calling me that!’

‘aahh!! you were mine first, iwa-chan!’

‘i was never yours! be quiet!’

‘itai, iwa-chan!’

‘he’s mine forever! we’re going to get married so butt out, nii-chan!’

‘HAH?!’

once everything calms down, yall actually start your homework and work

‘anything happen today, y/n-chan?’

oikawa always asked that question bc he believes its his duty as older brother to be caught up in your life

thats actually annoying bruv

‘hmm, me and the girls in my class were playing princess tea party today and a boy asked to be my prince.’

‘WHAT!’

oikawa is 7 now and he faintly has an idea about crushes and his father made him promise that he would protect you from nasty boys

‘calm down, bakakawa’

iwa mumbled, continuing his homework but also paying attention

‘WHAT!? NO! WHATD YOU SAY, Y/N-CHAN! YOUR BROTHER IS THE ONLY PRINCE YOU NEED!’

‘i told him i already have a prince’

oikawa was so smug and crossed his arms

‘hm, serves them right-’

‘prince iwa-chan and i are going to get married and live in a castle so there’s no room for anybody else’

iwa had to double check and turned red really fast

like who was this iwa-chan

wait, what his name?

his name has iwa in it

is he iwa-chan?

y/n’s prince iwa-chan?

was he really iwa-chan?

‘NO! YOUR NII-SAN IS YOUR PRINCE! IWA-CHAN CAN BE YOUR KNIGHT OR SOMETHING! BUT IM YOUR PRINCE!’

you glared at tooru and shook your head

‘no. iwa-chan is my prince’

you were so shamless about this fact

lmao i want your confidence

from then on, youve called iwa as your prince

like his name on your phone is literally prince iwa-chan

then when you were in middle school, you’ve started calling iwa as haji-senpai

there wasnt even a large event that spawned this

well,,, actually,,

youve noticed that iwa hated the nickname ‘iwa-chan’ a lot and he hit tooru many times bc of it so you stopped calling him that bc you didnt want him to be mad at you

so you started calling him senpai bc he was technically an upperclassman

when you first called him this, iwa was lowkey shook

‘haji,,,, senpai?’

you nodded from your spot on the couch, not looking up from your homework

‘see? i can only call iwa-chan, iwa-chan! OOF!’

that was iwa hitting tooru at the face with his pencil case

‘y/n, you dont have to call me that. we’ve known each other since we were little so you dont have to call me by an upperclassman term’

you shrugged

‘i know. but you dont like it when you’re called iwa-chan, do you?’

‘not if it’s by this trash’

he jutted a thumb to the fallen tooru

‘so,,,, iwa-chan is fine?’

your eyes sparkled at the permission of being able to freely call him that without worry

he gulps at your face and turns away to hide his red face before nodding

‘my prince iwa-chan!’

‘no! my iwa-chan!’

‘shut up shittykawa!’

‘itai, iwa-chan!’

keeping up with the oikawas

this nickname will forever be stuck

since you went to the same middle school, you were known to be around your brother and iwa and even staying behind for practice to walk home w them

it became a bit of a joke to the team of you picking up your prince

one day, a teammate called iwa, ‘prince iwa-chan’ and he almost busted a fuse

was ready to square up bc only his babie can call him that

but when you came through the door

‘prince iwa-chan! your princess is here!’

he turned all soft and squishy and pats your head so gently that they couldnt believe this is the same boy who is the ace

you were interested in volleyball so you were kinda friends w the team but you didnt really care for the sport, mainly focusing on your academics

thats how it really was for you three

they focused on sports while you studied

oh my here comes highschool

oikawa and iwa were already known throughout the FREAKING PREFECTURE bc of how TALENTED THEY ARE AT VOLLEYBALL

and you were already known by your pretty face and your cute personality

basically genderbent oikawa

and just wanted to stop you from reading by telling you that you are beautiful and you are a KWEEN and you are a GODDESS and confidence is the most beautiful thing to wear and best of all, it’s free!!

ofc, youd have to go to aoba johsai bc your brother was there

‘y/n-chan! you need to go where your brother is! you love him, don’t you?’

‘sure, tooru’

you actually went to seijoh bc you would see iwa

you didnt hear that from me

your first day, boys (and gals) were already flocking towards you when they saw you walking with iwa and tooru

still being the overprotective brother since day1, oikawa was just snarling at anyone getting close to his baby sister

lmao what baby

hes only like a year older

but iwa was being terrirorial protective bc he finds it as an obligation as tooru’s best friend and your childhood friend

when oiks wasn’t paying attention and being drowned by his fangirls, iwa was your bodyguard

there was this one boy who started walking towards you as yall were going to your class but hajime placed an arm around your waist and pulled you closer

‘oh? i’m only at the first floor, iwa-chan. don’t get all clingy now’

lmao, girl hes trying to show that boy that hes your unofficial mans and will cut off his family jewels if he tries to even BREATHE in your direction

umm,,, iwa’s not yandere in this one yall

iwa just rolls his eyes and makes you walk forward until yall are at your door

‘i’ll see you later, iwa-chan!’

‘yea yea. i’ll pick you up’

he starts to walk down the hallway but you poke your head back out and shout

‘i miss you already, prince iwa-chan!’

he turns red all over and freezes for a 0.0002 seconds before raising a hand without turning around

now ladies and genitals

this is when iwa-chan starts to catch feelings like he catches them spikes

your cute smling face and saying his dumb nickname that he actually loves was like a recipe for a stroke for him

it has come to the point at the mere thought of you would make him all flustered and red

it tripled over when this happened:

puberty was kinda late for you and you actually just woke up looking like a goddess one day and you were like, lmao what

your chest just ballooned up and your height just skyrocketed that your skirt was now very short

ew i dont know what i would do in this situation

you were self-conscious about this and was kinda scared

obvs, you would scream for your mother and she and your father and brother bolts up to your bedroom thinking there was a whole michael meyers in your room

but when you explained that your uniform doesnt fit anymore, she starts making appointments to get you fitted for another one

but you had to wait for a few days

so you went to school looking like a whole snacc

more of a snacc than you did before

when iwa saw you, he had a literal nosebleed in the middle of campus and runs to the bathroom to get all cleaned up

why in the name of asahi do you look like that?!

when you saw your prince look at you in horror and run away, you cried

you were already very self-conscious and him doing that just topped the cake

cake that tooru doesnt have

oop imsorry

tooru reassures you that he had a nosebleed and he was just sick and ran to not get any blood on his clothes

but you just walked away with your head down low

it didnt matter to you if this caught all the student body’s attention

that their precious oikawa y/n, little sister of the oikawa tooru, was a walking perfection goddess Venus

all that you cared about was iwa’s opinions bc he was your prince and your best friend

girl, accept that you actually like the mans

this was the worst day of your entire life and you went straight to your locker to get your gym clothes out and wear it for the day

it was tight but at least it covered skin

and it still attracted enough attention to be catcalled and whistled at

it felt violating

the entire morning, there was more attention and more people flocked over to you and guys were staring at you as if you were a piece of meat, not a girl

‘harry potter is a boy! not a piece of meat!’

sorry i cant help it

you were so uncomfortable that you called your brother during lunch time to come pick you up for lunch bc you were too scared to walk alone after being catcalled during your walk to your class

tooru sends out iwa to go help you as an apology from this morning and he just runs to your class bc you were in trouble and he was going to protect you!!

go iwa-chan!

he finds you sitting on your chair, looking down at your desk as there seemed to be boys piled up on top of each other, trying to get your attention

first world problems, amirite

‘OI!’

that angry grunt but at 2x bass boosted

hearing his voice, you were still embarrassed from earlier but you were so relieved

‘iwa-chan!’

iwa pushes people away and he grabs your hand to pull you up before wrapping an arm around your waist, protectively

‘if i see you idiots making her uncomfortable or even trying to touch her, i will destroy you’

protection and the feeling of safety is my fave

he leads you out of there to the stairway where him and his teammates were eating

he held your hand tightly and you squeezed it, trying to show that you were grateful

even if they were still male, your brother was there and if something happened, they were both strong enough to take them on

besides, its just mattsun and maki anyways

tooru saw you and he hugged you before leading you to the 2 others

‘guys, this is y/n, my sister. that’s mattsun and that’s makki.’

you slightly smiled and raised a hand in greeting

‘yo’

‘hello’

to be safe, iwa made you sit a step down from him so that if something happens, he could protect you

idk how but you do you boo

‘i can protect her too, iwa-chan!’

‘shut up, shittykawa. youre literally sticks and bones’

‘so mean! iwa-chan, you’re so mean!’

you giggled, head leaning down to rest on iwa’s right thigh since you were full and tired and he runs his hand through your hair

mattsun and makki shared a look before asking

‘are you dating our ace, y/n-chan?’

at the mention of dating, you both turned red and you sat up

‘OF COURSE NOT, MATTSUN, MAKKI!’

iwa shouts but his red face and ears betrayed him

‘iwa-chan grew up with us so he’s naturally like that. we’ve adopted him into our family!’

oikawa explained but you looked at him and he gave you a knowing look

oh he noticed everything

the lingering looks during practice

the bashful smiles during hang outs at home

unnecessary touches during the walk to school

oikawa may be annoying but he’s observant and he is smart

after that fiasco, the two boys were a little wary of letting you walk home alone so iwa offered to take you since he was already making more progress and didnt need extra practice while tooru wanted to practice more

‘iwa-chan, can we go to your house this time?’

he turned to look at you curiously since you never ask to go to his place

‘i miss your mom and ive been meaning to go visit her. so can we, iwa-chan?’

you squeezed his hand and showcased your pleading look making him agree

‘fine’

his house wasn’t a frequently hung out spot since your house was closer but you were still familiar with his home since his mother was fond of you

‘tadaima’

mama iwaizumi peaked from the kitchen and greeted him home before squealing at the sight of the youngest oikawa

‘oh my, y/n-chan! hello!’

‘hello, auntie!’

she gave you a big hug and you returned it with a laugh

iwa just standing there to the side with a smile bc his mom approves so all is good in life

‘you’ve grown so much, y/n-chan! so much prettier too!’ you turned bashful at her compliments.

then she leaned forward to whisper in your ear but made her voice loud

‘say, has my son finally ask you to be his girlfriend?’

omg mama iwaizumi really ships it

iwa turns red and complains to his mom about being in his business too much

‘don’t be so timid, hajime! y/n-chan could be taken from under your nose any minute now!’

‘dont you think i know that’ he mumbles but very lowly so that no one hears him

but you decide to tease him more

‘no. but i’m waiting for it. i’ll tell you once he does, auntie!’

fed up with the teasing, he grabs you and drags you up to his room to change into comfortable clothing

you sit on his bed while he rummages through his closet for a sweatshirt and sweatpants

‘here! change into these!’ he shouts, still flustered and refusing to look at your eyes

youre an oikawa and you lived to tease so you stood up, tossing the clothes to the side and wrapping your arms around his neck

ooo gurl you want iwa to die today, don’t you?

he gets even redder and scowls

‘oi, y/n, what are you doing’

you shook your head

‘nothing. i just miss my prince iwa-chan. you were so brave for saving me today, prince iwa-chan’

the nickname used to not affect him that much but now, he watches the it fall from your cherry lips

‘say my name’

you furrowed your eyebrows

‘iwa-chan?’

he gently shakes his head no

‘my real name’

‘iwaizumi hajime’

you say, distracted at the way his mouth moves

‘and what’s yours?’

‘iwaizumi y/n’

you breathed out

he growls softly before taking your sinful lips

wowza jesus took the wheel bc he stepped on that pedal

we going straight 100 mph up in this bih

iwa really said, ‘skip the confession. imma go straight for my babie girl’s lips. also, proposal who? let’s go get married in vegas!’

it wasnt even been literally 15 minutes until you came bounding the stairs wearing hajime’s signature grey hoodie with his seijoh sweatpants and calling for your auntie to announce you were now dating are going to get married

‘WHAT!?’

she screams and comes running from the kitchen, holding a ladle

you flashed a grin while iwa shows a small smile with red cheeks from behind you before telling you that you were both too young to get married

‘i told ya you would be the first to know’

after dinner, you call your brother and hes like, ‘okay, since you’re not at home i’m assuming youre at iwa’s’

‘omgomgomg, nii-chan! i just had dinner with my boyfriend’s family! they accepted me!’

‘BOYFRIEND?! DOES IWA-CHAN KNOW!? HOW COULD YOU BREAK HIS HEART?!’

oikawa just has that special type of voice that even without being on speaker phone, it sounds like he is

iwa laughs at his friend’s worried questions

‘better hand over your princess to the prince, grand king’

oikawa screamed

i hope i did my mans justice

2K notes · View notes

tomikashii · 3 years

Text

Nohebi Boyfriend Headcanons

literally made this because i don't see alot of nohebi boyfriend headcanons lol

warning ; nsfw , mentions of sex and kinks (like exhibitionism , choking , blindfold , toys , scratch marks )

honestly , if you are gonna have a problem with my headcanons , please leave 🚪👈🏻

i love nohebi and let me talk about them , give them the boyfriend headcanon that they deserve because literally one of them is in a canon relationship 🙄 (but mika is non-existent in this headcanon , im sorry)

🐍 Daisho Suguru 🐍

as we can see from the way he treats mika , probably a very good guy to you but an asshole to the others

well , other than the nohebi members lmao

anyways , i picture him that he is the type who would hold your hand wherever you guys go

locking pinkies with one another when you both are standing next to each other

when you are on your period , he is scared of you (learned it the hard way from his older sister i suppose) but he knows how to handle it because his sister taught him (in a way)

helps you out with your homework because he is in a higher class than you and YOU JUST KNOW HE MAKES FUN OF YOU XISBSIWHWIWHW LIKE OKAY ALBERT EINSTEIN 🙄✋🏻

sexy times with daisho includes having sex in the fucking gym closet because you both have no shame (mostly him)

or probably catching hiroo and his girlfriend at the corner 👁👅👁

FOURSOME ?? (woah sya no pls)

anyways , please go to his games to support him :( you will see the most biggest smile across his face but immediately hides it when you catch him smiling.

and yes , you scold him for teasing or taunting nekoma because you need your boyfriend to B E H A V E

🐍 Hiroo Koji 🐍

emo boyfriend ™️

im just kidding but he really looks that emo boyfriend with his edgy kuroo haircut

anyways , he is probably the clingiest boyfriend among the nohebi team because he doesn't like anyone except you

like deadass , his confession was like :

" i like you because i can tolerate you "

LIKE OKAY BITCH ? I CAN TOLERATE YOU TOO ? 😭✋🏻

would prefer to cuddle you than going out of the house with you . but if you ask him nicely , he would probably bring you to like the nearest convenience store from your house and buy snacks to cuddle you longer in your house .

his parents doesn't really mind you around and his younger siblings loves you more than him (expect alot of hiroo and them fighting for your attention)

sexy times with hiroo : GIRL HE FUCKS YOUR EYEBROWS OFF (LIKE SAYONARA EYEBROWS)

probably would fuck you in the gym closet when he is locking up the gym . (once was caught by daisho and his girlfriend *hint hint* and they both ZOOMED) he doesn't really mind though 👁👄👁

you didn't walk for a week after that so you know that its super beneficial for him because he likes staying home with you and not going anywhere other than school and volleyball practices

honestly , he gives very warm hugs and you would stay cuddled up on him for many hours .

🐍 Sakishima Isumi 🐍

someone add him into the pretty setter squad please or im going to R I O T

anyways , he is a very shy tsundere kind of boyfriend but actually worships you like a goddess

really loves you but shows it by flicking your forehead or constant teasing with either your grades or height

first time holding hands , made him so cocky like he was FLEXING to the entire team that he held your hand to school today (and akama was like : good job 👍🏻)

when you both walk pass each other during passing period , he would playfully nudge your shoulder or of course , flick your forehead

this bitch is the type who would insult your forehead

" damn , your forehead could fit the entire world map in there . " LIKE BITCH

the type who will put your head on his shoulder in the bus when you are fast asleep , after telling you to not sleep on his shoulder 🌚

really shy when you both slept together for the first time (not even sex lmao)

but when you guys had sex , he was so dense , it was so cute but he is trying his best . but after like 20 minutes , he loosen up abit .

OH MY GOD HIS SETTER FINGERS LIKE GOD DAMN AWOOGA AWOOGA it will reach spots your little fingers can't reach .

his aftercare is not the best but he is trying and learning slowly .

super insecure of his freckles but you are madly in love with them , would kiss them when he is 'fast asleep' next to you (but little did you know that he wasn't asleep next to you)

🐍 Takachiho Yoshiya 🐍

STOP SLEEPING ON TAKACHIHO HE IS MY SON AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH STOP SLEEPING ON HIM

as we can see from haikyuu bu! , he is like the father/mother figure of the team so expect him to care for you alot in the relationship

would give you good piggy back rides because he is so nice to you

calls you one million nicknames (i know right) but he does have his favourites like 'pretty girl' or 'angel' .

has a pet dog and the dog loves you more than him (he isn't upset about it but more of touched that his dog loves his love of his life 🥺)

he has this boyfriend sense that even if you didn't text him that you are sick , he is already at your doorstep , with medicine , snacks and like eight different hoodies for you to choose from .

like literally half of your closet is his hoodies and he doesn't mind because he wants you to have them 🥺

very into PDA and would want you to get along with his team because he loves the team but never tells them that except you .

but please don't be fooled , this man is a fucking crackhead at like 4am . he would send you a random meme , making you laugh hysterically for the next 2 hours before school starts .

sexy times with takachiho is the most heartwarming but the most eye rolling pleasurable experience .

LIKE THIS MAN CAN HIT THE SPOTS LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH and plus , he has like that deep ass morning voice .

wouldn't mind if you leave scratches on his back . the other teammates will pester him about it and he would just say , " i went too hard . "

🐍 Numai Kazuma 🐍

OWNS THE BOYFRIEND ™️ HANDS DOWN

honestly , he will give you like the best damn hugs in the whole wide world like you will feel so protected in his bara bara arms .

and the thing is, he is taller than you so like he will lift you up as he hugs you , signaling you to wrap around his torso as he holds you close to his chest .

GOD IM JUST ASKING FOR A BOYFRIEND LIKE NUMAI KAZUMA PLEASE 🥺🤲🏻

he literally worships you like a goddess , always be in awe on whatever you do (even when you just woke up with the most ugliest hair and ugliest facial expressions *he thinks its cute*)

yes , he has a picture of you sleeping on his chest as his wallpaper because he can't get enough of your face

PDA PDA PDA PDA this man live off PDA like hugging you when you pass him in the hallways to kissing your forehead randomly when you are just standing in the train next to him .

gives you a ton of his hoodies and would only want you to wear them because you are his precious PRECIOUS girlfriend .

soft dom numai ;) like he is so soft with you in and out of bed , his aftercare is OUT OF THIS WORLD (like takachiho and numai can have a aftercare battle tbh)

WILL NEVER DEGRADE YOU EVEN IF YOU ASK (maybe a little of degradation + praise) BUT PURE DEGRADATION IS A NO NO

he rather punish you by tying you up against the headboard and sliding in vibrators while you beg him to fuck you .

EYE CONTACT WITH HIM PLS- YOU CAN ACTUALLY DIE FROM HIS SOFT EYES STARING INTO YOURS !!!!!!

🐍 Kuguri Naoyasu 🐍

soft boy and very shy boy + he is very aloof so please don't think that he doesn't love you (he does , he just doesn't know how to show it)

not into PDA but will hold hands with you in private or lay on your shoulder (because he doesn't want his older teammates to make you uncomfortable)

probably the first person he would introduce you to is Numai because he trust Numai than the rest .

sleeps on your shoulder in the bus (unintentionally) , but sometimes you feel he does it on purpose . (because he said that he doesn't like PDA)

he is a very shy boy , so please be patient with him !! he is trying his best :>

says 'i love you' so rarely , everytime you hear him say it , your tears wouldn't stop falling from your eyes .

actually really happy that you go to his games and would blush the moment he sees you in the bleachers .

believe or not , he wants to kiss you more often but people keep getting in the way so that lead him to not do it often .

you first kiss was really magical , like those shojo manga scenes ; on top of the mountain , under the cherry blossom tree .

sexy time with kuguri : the first time you both had sex was in the later part of your relationship . i mean , you guys do make out and stuff , but like- never went the next level .

he is really gentle , always asking if you are okay because your face will scrunch up in pain , taking him in (because he is big)

after having sex with him , he begins to be more confident and actually tries to grab your ass from time to time

hint hint : remember that he is a wing spiker , yeah , let your imagination run wild on that 🌚

i know i didn't add the second years but i really don't know how to write for them :(

and definitely not because i love third years + because kuguri is always on my mind (bcuz of numai 🤗)

leave me a message , reblog or whatsoever if you like this headcanon ! please do let me know if you would like to use it too , NOHEBI STANS RISE !!!! 💕

#nohebi academy #nohebi #haikyuu #haikyuu bu #daishou suguru #numai kazuma #sakishima isumi #takachiho yoshiya #hiroo kouji #hiroo koji #nohebi headcanons #nohebi boyfriend #i love nohebi #kuguri x reader

102 notes · View notes

i-did · 3 years

Note

hi mlm here. so i want to write andreil smut but im a virgin so i have no idea what exactly sex is like. but i do not want to write it for the.... straight women gaze. what are some things that are accurate to write about. this is prolly super nsfw but i dont know who to ask.

Okay so this response took me literally months, and I'm sorry about that. I honestly was so excited when I got this question. I don't know why I put off responding?? But here I go:

CW for discussion of NSFW, STD’s, and a lil homophobia

I bet a lot of people who write smut are virgins tbh, that's not to insult anyone or anything, but like writing is a non physical way to explore sex and fantasies by yourself, so you’re definitely not alone lol.

So you're MLM and want to write smut, (and others who want to get my opinions on writing non-fetishistic smut).

Porn is porn and can have unrealistic circumstances to fulfill said fantasy, such as anything from people messing around in locker rooms to tentacles.

To get a general sense of what is common in MLM sexuality, (rather than the typical feminine gaze that is seen in smut) looking at gay porn and gay porn categories is good insight.

Bear culture, muscle culture, leather culture, etc.

These are obviously still porn and unrealistic, however being attracted to sweat, jockstraps, and muscles is very common outside of porn.

Bear culture is a body-positive movement that started because of the gay community's fat-phobia, age-phobia, and overall shittyness about body hair.

Leather culture is also really big, it started because of the belief that gay men couldn’t be dominant or “masculine”, even in bed. So in America, leather culture was a way a lot of MLM embraced themselves.

Going to pride, you will see many men wearing those leather harnesses, it doesn't indicate a preference of topping or bottoming necessarily, they're just something mlm wear and has grown quite popular in the culture, I've known some men to say it feels like a security blanket for them.

And I think it’s very important to understand these cultures or at least be aware of them on a base level if you’re going to write gay porn.

Also looking at erotic MLM art made by men, there is Tom of Finland, who was very historically significant, and is the most famous erotic gay artist. There is gay literature, one that openly talks about sex quite frankly is the book “We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan” which is a series of diary excerpts from a real gay trans man where you follow his life up until he died during the aids epidemic. He talks about sex with partners and discovering himself as well as what being a gay man means to him. He has a real love for sex in a way that is very unashamed and interesting to read about. We know that he wrote the latter half of his diaries with the plan of compiling them and publishing them but he passed away and people in his life carried out this wish for him. He is considered a significant part of gay and transgender history because of this, and his diaries are in LGBT museums.

Reading gay poetry, looking at gay art, erotic, romantic, grungy, whatever, and you will find and see how they portray things differently than when it’s not portrayed by gay men usually. I mean there is a clear difference between yaoi and bara and that's the audience and authors. Some yaoi are made by MLM, (well technically their called gei comi, or gay comics in Japanese)

“Also known as ‘gei comi’ or ‘men's love,’ bara comics are by men, for men. There is a yaoi equivalent to this, and it is called ‘gachi muchi’-- it is written by women, for women.” – myanimelist.net (lol)

but more than 90% aren't. I haven't ever heard of a non-MLM bara artist, but I'm sure there's at least one.

Of course, I've seen things depicting MLM just together pretty realistically that didn't feel like it was written by someone who definitely wasn't MLM, but these scenes tend to be more writing in the general sense of art in the general sense rather than porn, which has a huge gap in characteristics between stuff usually written by MLM vs when it's written by women. (sorry about the binary language here)

I know some people don't like any realism in their porn, but I personally really like small details such as prep being mentioned, foreplay, even acknowledgment of the existence of condoms even if they choose to go without.

Especially as an MLM who lives in America currently, the ever-present acknowledgment and stigmatism of AIDS is around us. We think about it, even when we don't want to. An entire generation of MLM, trans people, and a lot of POC were wiped out. Not necessarily a PWP detail, but including discussion of prep, PrEP (the anti HIV medication) and/or getting tested, even for diseases besides HIV, is a small detail that I think is nice. MLM often have to have a moment when opening up a conversation about sex where HIV is mentioned, our dating apps and hook up apps have sections where you put positive, negative, non-transmissible/undetectable, or prefer not to say. The books take place in 2006 so PrEP didn't exist yet, but also the aids pandemic was happening when they were being born and as young kids, so it wasn't that long ago in society's mind. It's still illegal for many trans people and MLM to donate blood despite that the blood is screened for diseases after donation.

Also, some realism I like is when a character isn't getting their ass ate first in the morning. Like, for me that's a huge turn-off because I think “holy fuck hygiene.” specifically with anal play I just really think even casually mentioning “washing up” or basic prep, or if you want more accuracy/details mention time between last meals or “x only ate a salad, so he would be fine”. It's like a joke in the gay community to eat chili fries or some shit on a date to indicate that either there will be no anal, or if there is you’re not going to be the one to do it, because you just fuckin ate those fries to say so.

A cock just going in without prep and no condom is going to A) hurt very bad the body does not do that naturally and can cause injury B) get shit dick.

An also not sexy detail that is common for sex is just laying down a towel so you don’t have to wash sheets. Lube on hands? Wipe off on the towel that you’re on rn. Laying down a towel is pretty normal especially for anal. But this is if you’re going for a much more playing for accuracy sex scene.

Honestly just writing fingering and prep and stuff like that in my opinion goes a long way and also gives the audience more to read.

Also, sex is way more than peen in hole. Get creative, frottage, mutual masturbation, docking? Idk like thigh fucking, fucking buttcheeks but not hole, handies, blowies, anal oral, Neil doesn’t have to be the only one who gets his ass ate and things don’t have to follow formulas, in fact, they’re better when they don’t.

Sex comes in many forms, and like I’ve definitely been with someone and he took off his shirt and I was like what, because he was skinny and clean-shaven and I didn’t expect him to have nearly as much chest hair as he did. I bet honestly Neil has a massive bush, like fuckin, massive.

Andrew and Neil don’t have to like everything the same amount, Neil could be like “I wanna lick your armpit” and gets really off on it, Andrew is neutral but likes that Neil likes it and agrees even if it does nothing for him physically. Honestly, Neil having a sweat kink imo is pretty fitting lol.

Try not to categorize the characters into “the bottom” and “the top”, or “the man” and “the woman”

This is something I see a lot and pay attention to how “the bottom” tends to adopt traits that are seen in straight porn that are over-exaggerated. I’m not saying it's inherently wrong to write someone as slim, but we know Neil isn't delicate, but I personally wouldn't categorize him as slim. He's a college-level athlete and is definitely muscular and defined, he has some bulk at least, he isn’t model lean for sure imo. You also often see PWP where the bottom makes a bunch of noise and the top makes none, or the top grunts and the bottom mewls, these are things I personally feel gives the bottom the role of a woman in porn. I don’t think Andreil have rough sex necessarily, but I do think when Neil does make noise, it would be because it was practically punched out of him by the feeling, and would sound more like a gasp than a kitten or whatever. There's nothing wrong with writing them both grunting, both of their voices being lower. Someone bottoming doesn’t suddenly magically not have secondary sex characteristics and stubble and body hair or a deep voice or however, they’re like everywhere else.

When I read an over-emphasis on Neil’s slim waist and swaying hips and ass I’m like,,, okay someone please mention Andrew looking at Neil’s dick or bulge or shoulders. As an MLM, what do you find hot about men? I like stomachs and arms and shoulders, jawlines, collarbones, asses yes but like in a different way than how I like women’s asses (I’m bi lol) they are smaller and I like them muscled and squared almost. I look at veins on hands and noses and shoulders and backs, I look at a lot and I honestly don't have a type. But yeah so think about what you like, why you like it, what you might want. Or look at what others like, and why and how they want and like it.

what would Neil like, how would he feel about it? And Andrew. I kinda feel like Andrew is low-key masc 4 masc but that's just me lmaoo. Anyways, good luck writing.

#aftg #ask #fandom psychology #fandom culture #osha violation #mailob

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

Text

The Catboy Valois AU

This one is a little cursed, and inspired by this Totally Spies post.

This AU does contain some nsfw content, which I will place at the end of the post and mark for (it’s right after the dog pics). Once again, this was brainstormed on the GG server, back in October of 2019. Biggest contributor other than myself was @atagotiak.

So I decided that, at some point, I need to see one of those inexplicable and very horny modern catpeople AUs.

Where a fraction of the population just happens to have cat ears and tails etc. for... minimal reason.

Tarvek def has them. Bc twink. Sticking to the tropes, you know.

All the Valois are catpeople because most of history didn't have the option of interbreeding, just coexisting. Something something sterile hybrids because chromosomes.

Andronicus Valois, Catboy King

Lucrezia was full human and Aaronev never had a chance.

"Most of history" because recently they scienced up ways to get around it, so there are catperson/human hybrids, like Gil and Zeetha (Klaus is human, Zanta is not).

Klaus is kinda glad Gil has cat ears bc this makes people automatically assume he can’t be the dad even if they realize it’s technically possible.

This means Agatha gets her boys.

The human (Lars), the hybrid (Gil), and the cat (Tarvek).

Anevka's initial robot body doesn't have the cat features just due to the fact that Tarvek was aiming for Bare Minimum, and then when he added them in later she decided she liked being able to pick when she had them.

I am morally obligated to reblog the callout art @mercurialvoid did for me a few years ago.

We’re not gonna talk about that, though.

human Othar/catgirl Anevka

SCENT MARKING

It's considered Undignified but everyone still DOES it, just... discreetly.

Agatha thinks nothing of it when Zeetha rubs their cheeks together while training and then someone looks at her funny and asks if that's her girlfriend or something.

And Agatha Realizes that she's currently got Belongs-to-Zeetha scent on her and has to scramble to explain that Zeetha kind of adopted her as a little sister because it's the closest approximation she can come up with that still has Acceptable Connotations.

I think platonic marking is a THING but mostly within families, children, and really close female friends, like holding hands. (Toxic masculinity does apply.)

And kolee-zumil is effectively family relationship.

Agatha can't SMELL the scent markings but she gets used to them.

Also like. There's probably different levels of scent marking depending on the body part. Wrists and cheeks are different.

Jagers that used to be catboys have better senses of smell, and are the ones sent to find a Heterodyne.

Agatha and Lars make out but don't go all the way because Agatha is not ready. (Meanwhile, Zeetha can literally smell how horny these dumb kids are.)

TINY BABY GILVEK FACE NUZZLES WHILE STILL ON CW:

(Imagine how much more dangerous the baby gilvek airship-exploring shenanigans would be given one is a catboy and the other is half catboy.)

Gil just kinda scent marks on literally everything/everyone. The boy is affection-starved well into adulthood. He probably purrs too. And purring is probably considered kinda undignified.

Tarvek purrs when he’s designing clothes in his head. He’s embarrassed when he realizes. Everyone thinks it’s cute tho.

Also when crafting super-complicated diabolical plans.

Purring isn’t very diabolical. So it’s embarrassing and doesn’t fit with the aesthetic at all.

It’s hard to do an evil scheme while being an image-conscious catboy.

Gil only. Sort of knows how to cat. He's not very good at it. Zulenna helped but...

Is Von Pinn a cat? Gut says yes. Though it makes it less likely she'd be mistaken for Lu as the students did, but hey! She’d appreciate that.

She probably wouldn’t know how to cat.

Or maybe she would, given we’re assuming hereditary and she was made for Andronicus... She probably knows a bit abt how to tell other people how to cat, but she doesn’t know how to cat herself.

The Muses... not designed to look like catpeople. Ruined the minimalist bodies RVR was going for, going by canon's lack of consistent ears or noses

Agatha does not realize at first that Von-Pinn is a cat-lady because her ears match her hair and every time she sees Agatha her ears go back, and the tail is hidden under the hobble dress.

Otilia is very happy to go from catwoman body to Giant Metal Cat body

KITTY BANGLADESH DUPREE

She's got a faint pattern to her fur that's, on closer inspection, very much indicating she's a PANTHER.

Consider: Tarvek starts working himself up into a frenzied panic and the nearest Trusted Person starts petting him to calm him down and he like. Melts.

TBH tho, a good portion of canon Tarvek’s behaviour can already be described as “cat does something stupid and immediately after attempts to pretend he has dignity even though everyone saw the stupid thing.”

Once Tarvek calms down... Lazy Cat Time.

NECK PINCH

CH would be ecstatic that Agatha snagged two suitors, then swing around to devastated that they’re both catboys, and maybe delusional enough to attempt to cut the ears/tails off like that’d solve anything then come around to “well there’s always science” once it’s fixed.

All Valois have high necks on their outfits, at least at the back

So nobody tries to Deactivate The Cat

(One less thing for Anevka to worry about.)

Because, you know. Canon decided to cut Agatha in half to acquire an heir, so we can’t exactly say the Castle is all that sensible.

It does calm down once Agatha mentions she has Lars, though.

Per @lyratalus: Krosp could be... so much more dangerous in this AU. What if he was designed to be emperor of all catpeople?

Cats never do what they're told anyways, and you can’t really control people without wasps, but the attempt was made! Vapnoople was ambitious!

Long story short, there's a spark of Something but then they just bat him off the table.

Imagine Seffie making Martellus Stop by deactivating the cat

Violetta is the cutest lil catgirl...

SHE GETS REALLY BRISTLEY WHEN SHE'S MAD

HE'S NOT A TWINK AND IT'S WEIRD. Not even a twunk???

Martellus is

So fucking ODD for a catboy

Like it HAPPENS but it means that human women are more likely to find him attractive than catgirls (and even that's a bit of a long shot on the basis of personality).

(Gil excused from the catboys-are-twink-to-twunk rule on the basis of being half human, and his dad being Basically A Wall.)

That said, for Andy I’m gonna go with "buff as fuck but sooooooo charismatic that all the catgirls, and human girls, flocked to him anyway."

So that’s at least two Bara catboys in this AU

Tarvek is canonically more or less the same size/shape as Gil, but... in my heart, Tarvek’s a twunk. He’s got muscle but he's not AS big, and he's got intense Twink energy, especially since Tarvek actually is queer.

(And they're both straight so they're not even technically bara, just Buff.)

(Not twinks either but...)

(Twink is a fun word.)

Colette is human and Seffie isn't but they'd need science for babies ANYWAY so who cares? It's a lot of Seffie laying her head in Colette's lap and purring as she falls asleep because Colette just keeps petting her.

Catboy Martellus still makes sparkhound shapeshifters. He's a catperson... but he's still a Dog Person.

Martellus and his dynamic with the sparkhounds:

He loves them, they love him. But they’re embarrassing sometimes.

THIS MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE NSFW CONTENT

ANYWAY back to the point, which is that a lot of these catperson AUs are just... really super horny.

Which is valid.

Ears are technically erogenous zones for everyone but for the cat people... it's a Lot. It's also not like. Inherently sexual? But it can be. Like spooning. It feels nice ALWAYS but with the right person it's also HORNY. Or like brushing someone else's hair.

Ear rubs and headpats that result in like, intense sensation? Good actually.

Also I’m declaring that catpeople have heats. Or at least like. Heightened mating seasons? Extra horny times.

So you have Agatha and Lars normal, Gil kinda horny and confused, and Tarvek rubbing himself against the nearest spouse in hopes that someone's going to fuck the living daylights out of him.

Valois probably take suppressing things as a matter of course bc it’s hard to stay alert to assassination attempts when overwhelmingly horny. When Tarvek deliberately forgoes them eventually, everyone is touched by how much trust it shows.

Without suppressants, the horny is either something you can cope with or something that is intense but comes in Very brief periods. Either one day a month, or a week twice a year? Something like that.

Honestly though, imagine if Gil tried to hide being a catperson for the sake of the Empire or some nonsense, and had to just suffer when in heat?

Agatha likes to watch the boys go at it because there's something about Fangs On Neck that's super pleasurable for cat people and she can't provide that for Tarvek but Gil certainly can.

Bonding marks aren't a thing but possessive biting is.

(Since birth control is so easily accessed in GG, I feel like Lu’s opinion of catboys would be a super gross objectifying thing.)

(Which. Yeah.)

(Lucrezia basically has that opinion on any man in canon that isn’t immediately useful to her for science reasons.)

#Girl Genius #Valois Family #Tarvek Sturmvoraus #Gilgamesh Wulfenbach #Gilvek #Agatha Heterodyne #human animal hybrids #GG OT3 #Lars #Anevka Sturmvoraus #Martellus von Blitzengaard #Violetta Mondarev #Xerxsephnia von Blitzengaard #Colette Voltaire #Zeetha Wulfenbach #Otilia #Andronicus Valois #Lucrezia Mongfish #Phoenix Posts

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