Oikawa, texting his big sis: im taking iwa-chan home take down the poster of kong stepping on godzilla from my room
Oikawa: AND HURRY UP
Tomiko: what do you give me in return?
Oikawa: dont screw with me now if he sees it again hes going to kill me before we do anything and IM FIVE FUCKING MINUTES AWAY
Tomiko: the stracciatella ice cream that u have hidden at the back of the freezer
Oikawa: No.
Tomiko: cool the poster stays then
Oikawa: okay u damn bastard selfish KEEP THE FUCKING ICE CREAM BUT REMOVE THE POSTER
Tomiko: its a pleasure doing deals with you, tooru-chan
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Random Ushijima headcannon
A/n: oikawas sister and ushijima.
⚠️: fem reader yelling. Oikawa being dramatic.
Ushijima and oikawas sister, how. Like how. It started with y/n going to Ushijima's school and joined her club aka the volleyball team manger. They got to know each other and often sat together. She was a tomboy but did he care. No. He loved it. So they just started going out they never had an official "asking out" it was just known by everyone. Except oikawa tooru. Soon the volleyball game y/n was dreding. Ushijima new she was oikawas sisters but oikawa... didn't know of Ushijima. When the walk in to the gym Ushijima and y/n were holding hand and then she heard it a loud high pitched scream and them a tall lanking man run up to them."hey tooru" you say letting go of Ushijima hand to start senting up. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM" her brother yelled. "My boyfriend tooru keep up" he just looked offended
This is a mess Have a good day and night 🌙
Pixie out 🧚♀️
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HUSBAND OIKAWA HCS OMAGHAUSHSHD
husb!oikawa who helps you do the taxes and puts his glasses on and brings a calculator only for him to get bored after 20 minutes and whines when you don't give him attention
husb!oikawa who is your plus one to any events your office is doing and your female coworkers gawking over him only for him to show off his ring before wrapping an arm around your waist, swiftly saying "i'm taken, ladies" with a smug smirk
husb!oikawa who panics and screams whenever he thinks he lost his wedding ring bc he can't wear it in games!
husb!oikawa who ties the ring to a necklace so he can wear it during games, he'll also give the ring a kiss before any serve
husb!oikawa who watches horror movies w you, expecting for you to hide your face in his chest from the jumpscares and he can act all tough and cool by protecting you from said jumpscares— only for him to be the one hiding in the crook of your neck when watching them
husb!oikawa who picks you up from the bar that you and your coworkers went to bc he doesn't trust anyone on returning you home when you're drunk as a sailor
husb!oikawa who makes hangover seaweed soup along with some hot chocolate when you wake up all lightheaded bc of the drinks you had and nags you for drinking too much
husb!oikawa who will reserve you a VIP seat for his games and will shamelessly kiss you in front of the whole crowd, he could also shamelessly make out w you too but that would earn him a smack
husb!oikawa who gets upset when you can't go with him to his overseas games because of your work, muttering a "you can be a housewife instead, yknow!! I'll be the source of income!!" which he got smacked for because you didn't work your ass for a degree just to be a housewife
husb!oikawa who'd act all tough and nonchalant when both of you have a fight and he's lying on the couch with crossed arms but in reality he's thinking about the fight and he hates getting into arguements with you
husb!oikawa who will beg you to listen to his explanation bc he doesn't wanna go to sleep with you being mad at him
husb!oikawa who just grins and wiggles his eyebrows at you whenever your parents start asking for grandchildren when you both come over to visit
husb!oikawa who will not show up to work if you're sick and will take care of you
husb!oikawa who whines when his mother and his older sister treats you like their own family to the point they forget about him (he's actually happy that the important women in his life get along)
husb!oikawa who has an ID photo of you in his wallet and has a polaroid of both of you on your wedding day in his clear phone case
husb!oikawa who comments on ALL your instagram posts and shares it on his story. he will also reply to every men in the comments section that dares to flirt with you
husb!oikawa who always has a hand on one of your boobs when he's sleeping because he says it's comfy! (he just wants to feel something soft)
husb!oikawa who spoils you rotten and sends bouquets to your office on a weekly basis
THATS ALL FOR NOW KEKE
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✧ tough guy iwaizumi hajime who ends up falling for his best friend’s cute little sister
✧ genre/tw fluff ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ (nsfw at the end ⚠︎)
✧ word count 857
all three of you grow up together, with you being two years younger than tooru. oikawa is always doting on you, treating you like a doll. despite the very little age gap, no matter how old you get, he’s always referring to you as his baby sister. oikawa spoils you rotten. one look from those big brown eyes you both share, but look a lot cuter on you for some reason, and oikawa can’t help but to give you whatever you ask for.
in the beginning, iwaizumi is almost like your other, more responsible big brother when things go wrong. you’re always trying to tag along with your older brother and his friend, which is a recipe for disaster sometimes.
when you inevitably take a spill, and bump your knees, tooru is rolling on the ground, shouting out against the heavens for forsaking you. how could the higher powers let you just fall to the ground like that?? but iwaizumi is is silently wiping off the pebbles from your knee with his little hands, blowing cool air to help assuage your pain. without a word, he carries you back home.
eventually you learn to stop tagging along so much. you can only handle so much pain and embarrassment. other than those moments, iwaizumi and you never really spend that much time together. for the rest of your childhood, you’re more acquaintances than anything else.
but at some point, after oikawa desperately begs you to join the boys volleyball team as it’s manager (“its the only time we’ll be together in high school, you wouldn’t ruthlessly deny your precious and loving and dashing and charming big brother this chance, would you???”), iwaizumi begins to notice you again. but this time, you’re a lot more grown up than you were before. seems like good looks run in the family.
but he’s not the only one that notices. in the same sense that oikawa seems to have the student body under his spell, it seems you do as well, and without even trying.
you’ve had a sheltered childhood that you mostly spent in doors, so you’re shyer than most people. and your brother enables you with his doting behaviour.
iwaizumi finds himself frequently getting jealous at the basket of love letters and confectionery that you have to empty out of your locker and lug home every night. iwaizumi finds that his hands begin to ache after a while bc he clenches them so hard whenever he sees another person confessing to you. and he waits with baited breath to see their disappointed faces as they walk away—an indication that you turned them down again in the way that you always shyly do; an indication that he might still have a chance, yet.
in an effort to put the moves on you, iwaizumi is constantly performing little acts of service for you. he goes out with you to the fountains to refill the water bottles so that you have some company, and so that you won’t have to carry anything heavy—that should be his job, after all. in the most cliche move ever, when an errant ball goes flying right in your direction, iwaizumi coolly catches it with one hand before it can bounce off of your head, making sure to ask you if you’re okay after. he stays behind to help you sweep the floors after practice, striking up a conversation with you. when oikawa stays behind to practice his spikes, iwaizumi walks alone with you home, making sure to keep you away from the side of the sidewalk that’s closest to the road. iwa also makes sure to put your back against the wall of the train while standing in front of you, keeping you safe from any wandering hands.
eventually, he even starts buying your favourite milk drink from the vending machine, and brings it to you while he visits your classroom, the place where you normally eat your lunch. he sits, and eats with you (to which oikawa complains vehemently bc “why would you just sit in a different spot than we normally do without telling me?? you left me all alone!!")
iwaizumi’s actions don’t go unnoticed. you start to fall for it.
when you two eventually start to date, oikawa is whining and complaining that you two are both stealing each other away from him (there’s also relentless teasing on oikawa’s end bc “iwa-chan, isn’t funny that you fell in love with someone that looks just like me?? are you secretly gay and actually just in love with me :3 ??”)
but what’s really the kick in the back for oikawa is the moment he runs up to his precious little sister’s room to check and see what she wants for dinner. but upon opening the door, he finds both his best friend (who, of which, he didn’t even know was over their place at the moment) on top of his “adorable baby sister who can do absolutely no wrong”; the two of them are naked from the waist down, in the throes of passion.
he falls to his knees, asking god to strike him dead, right then and there.
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