#i know i got a lil triggered earlier but that was like. 4 days ago and this started at least 7 days ago so i don't think it's the c-ptsd

[olibavee]

augh

this has never happened to me before but i’ve been consistently having nightmares for a week now. i went abt 2 nights without having any and then last night i had 3 nightmares one after the other. what is going on.

#liv asdf #negative cw #at least it isn't the same nightmare every time. #i'm so...tired. #i know i got a lil triggered earlier but that was like. 4 days ago and this started at least 7 days ago so i don't think it's the c-ptsd #sorry for complaining so much lately. i'll be fine eventually but things've been getting bad again.

[beann-e]

“ honestly Suna sometimes it feels like your just sitting there — calculating — thinking of ways that you can piss me off” you let out in a huff of anger as you slammed your hand onto the arm rest placed in the middle of the car. Voice loud enough to be heard from a mile away and then some “ And then you don’t even fucking care “

“ I’m sorry you feel that way “

“ seriously ? seriously Suna “

“ oh I’m sorry would you like me to say it jokingly? “

The silence that towered over the both of you was tall and it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon “ WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY “ his hand came up to run down his face as he sighed

“ look I'm sorry baby but — “

“ but nothing — I'm tired Rin—I'm tired of you screwing with me“ you groaned “ honestly at this point just fuck off “

he moved to pull the keys from the car unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the car door as your jaw hung open “ what the fuck Suna — “

“ I'm fucking off you ungrateful bit—“

“ you asshole — all of a sudden you take everything literal right ?? huh only when you want to right “

“ y’know what— no you fuck off —ok y/n “

“ see that’s what I'm talking about “

“ honestly I doubt you even know what you were talking about in the first place “

your steps quickened as you followed after the male who stopped at your front door imputing the code and opening your house door “ This is what I mean by you keep fucking with me Suna “

“ oh “ he moved to sit down on the couch arms flung behind it and legs spread wide out in front of him. “ is it really— because , the 40 minute argument in the car about your best friend hitting on me didn’t quite make that clear “ he scoffed shaking his head along with it “ your shitty reasoning must of gotten lost on one of the many streets of Japan y/n “

His eyes glowing body perking up with his next sentence “ yknow what how about you go find it hmm then we can have this little talk sometime later -- preferably when I'm sleeping id hate to be awake for another one of your hellish complaints babe.”

your anger was only growing as the argument continued “ you fucking douchebag I bet you don’t even know why I'm pissed off “

He let out a small sigh of a laugh his legs shaking and hitting each other in a wave before they resumed their earlier position “ I don’t“

“ and you don’t care either do you “

“ I don’t “

Your heart broke for the first time ever in your relationship with the stoic male after hearing his words and tone. In all the time you and your boyfriend had been together you two never argued about his lack of emotion or care.

It never bothered you

It never affected you

until it did

4 hours ago

You smiled up at the taller male as his mouth continued to run while talking to the rest of his volleyball team. This was the first time you’d ever seen him talk for more than 5 minutes with anything other then yeah’s and small mhmms.

The both of you had been invited to a class reunion and you only decided to go because of his new teams constant nagging

Suna had been telling you all week to find something else to do and that you didn’t have to go with him. That it would be too boring and long and that you would be better off having fun without him.

Of course you put up a fight but, ultimately lost and decided to hang out by yourself for the earlier half of the day spending last weeks paycheck on this weeks shopping spree

it felt nice to treat yourself but you couldn’t help but want to treat your boyfriend too. The thought of him being bored alone plagued your mind and you had to get it out.

The only way to do that was to go to the reunion.

Now how you imagined it would go is you show up in your fancy new dress surprising him smile a bit , talk up some of the host and sneak your way in and then mingle and go home and cuddle and kiss your boyfriend all night

funny thing is somewhere in that prewritten script you had created you didn’t realize imagination is not always reality.

The sight of your boyfriend leaning against a wall with a glass in his hand and his other on the string of your best friends dress had you reeling in the disgust that you wanted to spill so badly on the floor right now

All you’d done was go to the restroom but now you sat with your eyes widening while you watched his eyebrows come together in annoyance with the string that wouldn’t come undone.

Your best friend faced away from him back to his chest and a small smile on her face. Cheeks heated from his touch and in that moment you cursed her for having a look on her face that made it visible how much she enjoyed his warmth. You wished she didn’t make it so obvious how the closeness to your boyfriend was making her feel

how it was encouraging her

Your heart broke when you seen Suna finally relax and blow air out of his cheeks before nodding softly almost thanking the gods that he figured it out and it was over

Your feet moving before you could even process what to say to either of them.

“ y-y/—“

your hand came in contact with your best friends face before she could even finish the loud slap echoing through the room as everyone turned to find the source of the noise

Eyebrows raising when they noticed it was not only a slap but a full on one sided battle between you and the girl who everyone seen as nice and quiet during your school years

They never knew of the undercover bitch that was lurking behind the surface. They’d never see the way she was smirking as she took every hit given to her in stride. Your boyfriends hands wrapping around your torso as he looked down and seen that you were hovering over her ripping her to bits

You never letting go of the grip your thighs held around her own as she whispered to where only you could hear “ aw poor y/n’s defending someone that doesn’t even want em—gonna go to jail for someone so unloyal huh “

Your eyes lit up with pure hatred as the security made their way over to you reaching to take you from Sunas hold and lessening your grip on the woman beneath you

“ sir we need you to let her go “

“ don’t touch me until you actually make it all the way to police academy you fucking lowlife. “ you spit out “ how the hell do you only make it to security much less high school reunion security “

“ the hell do you know — you don’t even know how hard police academy is asshole “

“ ah I bet your kids’ll be real proud “ your eyes squinted at his name tag “ todd — you kiss your wife with that mouth “

you laughed eyes rolling from him to suna “ or are you like this asshole and kiss your mistress with it instead ? huh toodles ? “

“ ha — ‘m gonna have fun with you--ya little prick. sir — let ‘em go or else i’ll pull out the big guns — they snuck in here and now their disrespecting an officer “

“ big guns “ your laugh circulated through the room “ ‘k sure let me stop before I get pepper sprayed “

“ my hands already on the trigger you lil bitc— “

“ hey “ sunas voice growled behind you “ watch who the fuck your talking to toodles“

“ just— get—get the fuck off dude I didn’t go to police academy so I could avoid this — their full on disrespecting me come on man get off“ your face scrunched up in annoyance as you saw the security look like they were about to cry

“ well I mean — “ he sighed “ it’s not like your a real officer right“ suna sighed out as he began to bite his lip in worry “ I mean we can let this slide right ? “ he nodded looking towards the males name badge “ uh toodles“

He coughed “ todd — I mean todd “

“ I’m sorry but, even if I could “ his gaze dead set on you “ which I really don’t want to — seeing as though they disrespected me “

His voice sounding proud as he continued “ and I'll have you know I'm security guard of the mouth asshole “

“ oh whoop dee fucking do Tinkerbelle ”

“ y-fucking-/n “ you could feel the way Suna was seething above you breath hot and you could tell his face was made up in a snarl “ if you don't shut the fuck up I swear on Atsumu’s unwashed boxers ill leave your ass prison letters starting tonight “

“ see —— sir I'm trying “ he sighed “ I really am trying to let this go but — “

“ their with me — “

“sure “ he scoffed “ I'll need to see some relations or — “

“ their my s/—their my plus one “ his eyes moved to look at everyone surrounding you guys then back to the position he now held you in before finally dropping you to the floor. Your heart dropping and ears tuning everything out from that point on.

Everything on mute until you got in the car and were finally met with his low voice as he buckled you in and walked to his side turning the car on “ y/n “

You turned to look out the window “ y/n that — “

His voice was so hard but so weak “ y/n that was so fucking embarrassing “ Your body shivered at his words

“ having to watch my fucking s/o almost get fucking arrested “

His hands tightened their grip on the wheel “ then turning around and having to talk you out of it in front of our whole graduating class “

his voice went deadpanned as he swerved a bit on the road mixing lanes “ and — and my team — oh fuck my team “

he started to breathe a bit heavier as you began to feel bad hearing the sadness in his voice. His body shifting in his seat “ all so you could “

he laughed a bit at the situation “ all so you could take your ugly ass insecurities out on your friend ? “

he scoffed looking from you to the road and back to you “ when did you two even stop being friends huh ? did I miss that or ?? do friends just go out and leave bruises on each other or is that something new? What-- is it like a new TikTok trend -- a fashion statement huh ?? the fuck is it because, I'm not a friend person so maybe you know something I don’t “

He scoffed “ maybe — maybe I'll never be a friend person after something like that. If friends are just beating each other’s asses in broad day light out the fucking blue then I'll just stick with ‘tsumu at least I know I can beat his ass if he were to pull some shit like that “

‘ friend ‘ you thought silently

“ poor kid didn’t even see it coming “ he shook his head at you turning back to the road “ holy hell that’s shameful y/n “

he whispered “ I don’t even wanna think about the rumors that’ll spread about us tomorrow “

The car was quiet only for a minute as Suna re arranged his thoughts before he could beat into you again “ friend Suna ? “

your voice was dry “ Rin do friends help each other out of their clothes ? “

your eyebrows creased “ do they focus so intently on another woman while their own is in the same room “

“ I didn’t know you were there “

“ SO YOU ONLY TAKE FRIENDS CLOTHES OFF WHEN IM NOT THERE “

“ NO I “

“ YOU ONLY TOUCH OTHER WOMEN WHEN IM NOT THERE “

“ y/n jus— “ he took a deep breathe and let it out “ just shut up its not like that “ he let out an uncomfortable and tired scoff of a laugh “ it wasn't like that “

“ it’s always shut up Suna it’s never ‘ what’s wrong y/n ‘ ‘ are you ok y/n ‘ it’s just ‘ shut up I don’t wanna talk so you don’t wanna talk either ‘ “

you locked eyes with the male in front of you “ I'm done Rin I'm— I'm done “

“ you cant leave me-- heh not after that shit you pulled back there  “ 

“ fuck if I cant--you don't look like my legs to me and as far as I know their still Bluetooth connected to my mind so-- “

“ you'll be an overnight clown you-you need me y/n “ he shook his head “ we need each other “ 

“ no you need volley ball because you need money-- because guess what asshole as of right now-- your homeless”

“ fuck you as if “

“ we’re over Suna don't let my words finally hit you when you walk out the shitty door”

“ that’s fine by me “ he scoffed “ get the hell out for all I care — I'll pack your shit for you “

“ no— I'll pack your shit asshole your living  in my house bottom feeder “

“ if you don’t shut the fuck u— “

“ then what ? huh what — you’ll leave me “

“ I swear to god I'll —”

“ you’ll what cheat on me with my best friend ah I'm so scared — “ your voice holding nothing but mock enthusiasm “ I can just imagine the way you’ll kiss her when I'm not there — these thoughts for some reason almost feels real y’know “

you watched as the man you’d taught yourself to love for 7 years since high school finally walked out the door. His perfume from earlier still hanging in the air long after the door slammed. Your mind racing when you were finally brought to one thought

‘ how did we end up like this and how the hell do we get back ‘

#Suna #suna headcanons #haikyuu suna #suna x reader #suna angst #Suna Rintarou #suna rintarō #suna rintaro imagine #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro headcanons #haikyuu!! #haikyu #haikyuu #haikyū!! #haikyuu rintaro suna #suna rintaro angst #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x s/o #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #suna rintaro x you #suna rin

[ivyjlopez]

October 9, 2020, 8:19pm Q&A 101

Eight days before my birthday as of this writing. I’m actually having second thoughts if I should do a blog or a vlog. But, I do like writing and releasing my thoughts through words rather than speaking up. So, as I’m about to enter another year and continue to be an adult I’d like to start doing things I’ve wished I’ve done earlier. I do not intend to have plenty of followers in any social media platforms, the only goal is to write, encourage and lead people closer to Christ through my writings and to release the thoughts I have in my head for quite some time. Yes, I’ve always been telling people that I am an introverted gal and even so, that doesn’t mean I cannot share the gospel having this personality. Introversion is not a disease and if you know you’re one of the “introverted peeps” and is frightened to share the word by speaking up or encouraging people then share it the introverted way. You go, gal! The Lord got your back.  ;)

To begin this blogging journey, I’ve let some of my friends ask me certain questions about anything that they’d like to ask. Disclaimer, those that you’re about to read below are just based on my thoughts and opinions, and I’ve used some verses from the scriptures and will be using ‘em in my future blogs, if you’re actually opposed or you want to correct anything, feel free. So, here you go…

Question #1

Who are you?

I chose to answer this one first as a way of introducing myself a lil’ bit. So, most of my colleagues knew me as someone who’s meek, timid and quiet. But for those who are actually close to me would somehow oppose (lols). People would usually talk to me and seek advice as if I am a pro (lols kidding aside). I think it’s just that they consider me as someone worthy enough to be trusted sharing their deepest darkest secrets since I usually prefer to listen to someone’s rants and let the person do the talking cause sometimes that’s only what a person needs. Someone who’s willing to listen. I am literally not the type who does the first approach and most of the time would tag as “snobbish”. (Maybe I wasn’t really snobbish, I just didn’t see you due to my 300/400 vision. Haha.). I would definitely describe myself as someone who loves and values solitude, spends my spare time resting, reflecting, reading either at home or outdoors. I prefer to be in a small group of friends than being surrounded by the crowd. I am someone who doesn’t like the spotlight, I’d prefer to stay lowkey and not let everyone know what my next steps are. 

P.S. I might be one of the most picky person you’ll ever meet. Lols.

Question #2

Where do you want to go?

If this question pertains to travelling, I prefer land over water activities (just to add the fact that I don’t know how to swim that’s the main reason I dislike water activities). Nothing specific, it could be both local or international, I’d like to roam around places just to pass by a well-known spot and attractions, watch and appreciate the beauty of nature and sceneries, read books if possible (sort of boring to some but I’m just simply happy with this kind of thing).

Just to add up though, one of the unforgettable trips I did a year ago was at Puerto Princesa. To cut the story short it was supposedly for a two person trip turned to trio friends down to the first ever solo trip (sighs). It was my first time to be at the airport, first time to ride a plane, first time to go somewhere I’ve never been, first time to plan my own itinerary Onset (lols). Am I lonely during my whole stay? Definitely not (remember solitude is my forte) I was kinda nervous at first but it was suddenly replaced by excitement. I’ve met new people along the trip, my eyes were able to capture beautiful sceneries, I was able to eat and enjoy my breakfast without rushing. I didn’t do much activities on those days but my heart and soul was truly grateful and joyful. And it made me even realized, I am indeed capable of doing things on my own, going to a certain place on my own and just being on my own. Do not equate being alone to being lonely. I was planning to go back this year however, this isn’t the best time yet. Looking forward to visiting that place again and to more other places and countries soon.

But at the end of the day, as some would say, “there’s no place like home” - I will always end up with my comfort place which is, home. (But more than the home I have here on earth, I’m also one of those people who looks forward to coming home with the One who created humanity.)

Question #3

Is it really painful to be left behind?

Without a single thought - Yes. 

If it is for someone who passed away, the grief that anyone feels couldn’t be covered up by any comforting words even by the wisest person you knew. Just let the person grieve for now and do its work then healing will follow. Pray for that person too.

If it is for those who left in order to move out or pursue a career it would also be painful for those family members and close friends to see you go. But as for me, if you are in faith and I see you brave enough to explore the unknown, you will always have my support. It’ll be sad for a while. But we have to remember that sometimes letting a person go is also a way of showing our love and support. Let the person grow on his/her own.

Breakup - unquestionably painful. Why? Imagine not talking to the person you thought you’d end up marrying? Those plans you guys made will now be redirected to a different person. Same thing with losing a loved one because of death, this too needs a grieving phase. Cry as much as you want then stand up again. At the end of the day, you’ll just laugh it off (swear) forgiveness and acceptance will be your last destination.

Question #4

Lessons after the breakup

A lot actually (this might consume the entire space lols).

First, your happiness shouldn’t be dependent on a certain person.

Second, never allow yourself to be an option, you deserve to be a priority too.

Third, having the same personality doesn’t guarantee long-term commitment.

Fourth, never let a day pass by without fixing your arguments.

Fifth, communicate and choose to understand.

Sixth, shares the same faith and beliefs (it should always be a Christ-centered relationship).

Seventh, be consistent while both of you are still a work in-progress.

Eight, be honest. I’d prefer someone who tells the truth and does not sugar-coat.

Ninth, choose the people you’re hanging out with and/or seeking help or advise. Not everyone you call a friend is indeed a genuine friend. (It is written in 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals”)

Tenth, choose to forgive always, everybody deserves to be forgiven. Acceptance will always be around the corner once you’ve gone through the right stages of moving on. 

(I’ll be cutting it off right here cause there’s quite a lot that I’d like to write. Haha. I might write a separate blog for this. Stay tuned. Lols)

Question #5

How to stay positive in life? 

We can’t stay positive all the time. Even the strongest and the most optimistic person that you know will have his/her own downcasted moments and that is okay. Coming from someone who actually thinks negatively this question is kinda tough to answer (haha) but as for me, do not let negative thoughts overwhelm you to the point that it is already consuming you. Sometimes those thoughts are all in the mind and you’re just giving yourself a reason to create a problem that does not even exist. Surround yourself with people who will inspire and motivate you to do better, unfollow pages in social media that will trigger your anxiety, disconnect from people that are not helping you grow, stop looking up to idols and conforming to the pattern of this world, break the bad habits that you always knew you needed to stop doing. Keep it a habit to continually pray, always look up to God’s word prior seeking advice to your closest friends or bursting it all out in social media. If you are to seek counselling, ensure that it is from someone who will not tolerate you doing evil deeds. Read self-help books, open your bible, don't let the dust embrace it. Listen to calm music, it’ll help. Remember that you are loved and blessed. (Philippians 4: 6-7) 

(Thank you for your questions Jonnabae, Angge, Dani and Adreng) I’ll be posting the rest of the other questions and my response of course next week. :)

[attract-mode-collective]

The Attract Mode Holiday Gift Guide For 2019, Part 2

Alright, there's officially one week left, seven days till Christmas! And if you're still looking for that special something for that special someone, time is running out.

Thankfully, options do still exist... kinda, sorta. Also, you might have to pay a premium.... but dems are the breaks. First up is Love Hultén's logical follow-up to the FC-PVM from earlier this year, the SNES-PVM! Here's some additional beauty shots...

Going by the product page, it's more or less identical to the predecessor, so the same 9" Sony Trinitron PVM-9042QM. It also appears to utilize the same 8BitDo driven controller mods as well; it's not listed on their made-to-order​ page, but I'm sure if you ask nicely... as well as offer enough money to make it worth their time... they might be willing to make a deal?

Though I do have an alternative, cuz even if there was a SNES-PVM ready to go, imagine how much guaranteed by Christmas shipping from Sweden would cost? Your next best bet is Bithead1000, who can build you a Super Nintendo Fish Tank made in the good ole’ U.S. of A....

For those of you finally pulling the trigger on a PlayStation 4 Pro this holiday, and are considering the Limited Edition Death Stranding bundle... but are a bit underwhelmed by the included DualShock 4... consider We Are Robot's alternative. Which costs about as much as the aforementioned system, oh well...

But if you're interested in something for the whole family, then how about a block of Bridge Baby cheese? Am sure this will be the centerpiece of this year’s Hideo Kojima Christmas gathering...

And guess what can be the centerpiece of your Christmas gathering? Why Hideo Kojima of course, or a 1/6 replica from @bayuarafat...

I myself am simply going to get a lil Ludens for my desk, to hold my glasses (seen here as part of Jean-François Rey's collab with Kojima Pro) which will pair nicely with my lil Venom Snake bionic arm (from the Metal Gear Solid V Collector's Edition), aka my wedding ring holder...

Am still kicking myself for missing out on this DS Lite covered with Swarovski crystals; suppermariobroth notes that it was on sale at the Nintendo New York in '07 for only $600 (I have no idea how I could miss that)...

Here's a motorcycle jacket from THUNDERBOX that’s supposed to evoke the Game Boy; would be nice if one could somehow hook one up to it & have the jacket be a controller of sorts, silly as that sounds...

As someone who could care less about Kirby (sorry everyone), I nonetheless adore the Shogo Sekine portion of Laforet Harajuku's PLAYFUL KIRBY line (be sure to check out miki800.com to see Converse Stars’s half, or maybe not, cuz it kinda sucks)...

Though miki800's Instagram recently reminded me of the one person/place/thing I absolutely need to visit when making my triumphant return to Japan: wherever VIDEOGAMETOKYO is at stationed at that moment, to finally obtain this Salamander/Life Force sweatshirt...

I’ll probably want to also track down whatever pop-up GAMES GLORIOUS is at during my stay, cuz I’ve long been interested in their Sega Master System/Mark III button-up...

Along wit their SEGA HARD GIRLS shirt; even with the detail of the pattern handy, I still need a closer look...

I previously showcased Eri Kitamura's work a little over a year ago; nowadays, not only does she draw pretty girls on Game Boys, but pretty girls with Game Boys as well, which forms the basis of her zine GAME GIRL...

For those who haven't heard, the latest release from Data Discs is the soundtrack to Radiant Silvergun...

As for myself, I've recently begun collecting old Japanese 45s, and as @marosahi19 demonstrates, I won't have any trouble finding a copy of Takahashi “16 shots per second” Meijin hit single while in Tokyo later this weekend...

This is what it sounds like, btw...

Hey, did I mention that I'm going to Japan? Cuz I am! Yup, the grand return is actually happening, again, in just a few days. Hence why part two of my holiday gift guide is so late. Anyhow, I'm also going to be on the lookout for the Famicom copy of Athena, cuz of the included bonus audio cassette (or I guess I could make an mp3 of Jeremy Parish's rip for YouTube)...

But yeah, this blog post is way overdue; if I had filed it in time, perhaps there would have been enough of a heads up for my buddy Joe Simko's Good Nite Fortnite! card, which was available from Topps for just 24 hours (perhaps a card collector out there might have one for sale on eBay or something)...

It's also why I didn't get to mention in time that Retro-Ko had not just one, but two pink Hello Kitty Dreamcasts available (hopefully you saw my mention on Twitter, but more importantly, following @retro_ko will guarantee that you'll know when they next have three in stock)...

Remember my mention of Read-Only Memory's Sega Dreamcast: Collected Works from, gee, two years ago? Guess what; it's finally here...

Here's an old Dreamcast jacket from Cobles in mint condition. For those interested, make James Mielke an offer...

Back to the subject of Death Stranding; if you regret not picking up that game's Collector's Edition... or simply couldn't afford to... you can still carrying around a BB, so long as you attach him to your coat zipper or the like: @mxgicdave's FUNKY FETUS Acrylic Charm...

Guess what else is super fashionable? Japanese arcade cabs of course; anyone interested in @VVCollectiv's Astro City inspired pins & keychains should send them a DM...

This holiday season, show your Switch how much you truly care by finally giving it a pair of legs, courtesy of... am not sure, to be honest. The problem with Instagram these days is how everyone basically swipes content from everyone else; saw it here in case anyone’s interested...

Hey, remember that girl with that Sega Saturn on her head that I wrote about a few years ago as well? Well, these days she's making art & designing apparel...

And here's a closer look via @miaumiauzmiau's Twitter...

If you'd rather adorn your love for candy cabs on your wall and not on your body, then SURUDENISE can help with that, with this super spiffy print...

My wife & I are always looking to furnish the apartment with things that reflect both of our interests; for myself it’s video games & for Ashley it’s cats. So this PixelEyeBat print from The Yetee seems right up our alley…

Actually, we recently got something along those lines, which was acquired at Anime NYC from loststreetkat.com…

She also had this keychain, which we naturally had to get…

Full-disclosure: my original plan for part two of my holiday gift guide was going to be a round-up of all my fave findings at the show, but since time was running out… guess that’ll have to wait till 2020. Cuz one again, I’m going to be in Japan in just a few days!!!

Though one last thing: if none of the above works out for you, remember, there’s always Mercari...

[boarix]

Wraith in the Ruins: A Fallout 4 Story Part XV

Nefarious They

Trigger warnings: Canon violence/language/gun use. Mature content *throws lemons* so look out

Game spoilers

Please enjoy!

 “It was deliberate. A direct attack on Sanctuary.”

Hancock idly flipped his tricorn, “Hmm. I’d say more like it was a attack on you, sunshine.”

“What do you mean? I wasn’t even here.” Wraith, who had been examining gouges in some of the trees that bordered Sanctuary’s fence, now turned to the ghoul, confusion on her face, “I thought that they waited until they were sure I wasn’t.”

“I don’t doubt it; you’re too terrifying to mess with directly! But you’re hurt if your loved ones are hurt, you feel me?” His smile was pitying, “If someone wants to punish you, make you suffer, than the best way is to kill your people.”

Confusion turned to anger and then swiftly to fear, “To hurt me…”

“Trouble is your people are very strong. MacCready and Danse alone could take out a score of… whatever they got.”

“They… who are ‘they’?”

After returning Valentine to his wife and appointing a new Quartermaster to Diamond City, Wraith had made good on her promise to Edward Deegan; offering her support and condolences as they delivering the remains of Emogene and Virgil to the Cabot house. Afterward she had continued on with her interrupted schedule by travelling to The Castle to check in with Preston. A few weeks had passed since the incident and Wraith would have had nothing to go on but hearsay had Danse not taken pictures.

As soon as he had known Panther would recover, he had taken the settlements camera to the breach. The photos documented the unmistakable Mecanum wheel tracks left by a sentry bot leading to and from the massive hole in Sanctuary’s defense as well as boot tracks from the aforementioned ‘They’.

“I suppose the robot dragged the caged deathclaw here too.” Wraith was running her hand back and forth over her freshly clipped hair, “Why didn’t anyone hear it? Or see it? I supposed they could have rigged it up with a stealth-boy and waited until Mac’s class started… Rust Devils? They certainly would have the knowledge…”

“They ain’t particularly stealthy though. They like it when their victims know whose victimizing ‘em.” Hancock took her fidgeting hand in his and squeezed it gently, “And if they knew to wait for MacCready’s class to mask the noise then that means there’s been a spy skulking round for a bit. Seen any new faces lately?”

“I haven’t been here… I should check in at the gate and the Rocket; talk to Tina, she was a Devil.”

“I don’t get how they could have dragged a caged deathclaw cross the Wealth without attracting some attention. I realize the population ain’t exactly dense…” Hancock paused, smiling to himself on his phrasing, “Somebody had to have seen somethin’.”

“You up for playing detective with me?”

“I’m always down for some roll-play.”

 Tina shook her head emphatically, “No ma’am. The Devils would want you to know it was them. It’s possible this was staged to look like them to make you crush them.” She offered Wraith a somewhat abashed smile, “It’s not like there are many of them left for you to punish.”

“The Hounds have been doing a commendable job in keeping Minutemen settlements safe. You should be proud, Tina.”

Lifting her chin, the former raider gave Wraith a sharp salute, “I am very proud, general! Thank you for taking a chance on me.”

Stepping out of the Red Rocket, Wraith winced as the wave of light and heat washed over her, “Ugh… so…”

“Who’s left?”

“This seemed more organized than your average raider group. L&L?”

Hancock was quick to dismiss them, “Not likely.” He removed his hat and held it aloft, blocking the sun from Wraith’s face as they walked, “I’ll have my network look into things. We’ll figure out who’s fuckin’ with ya and serve them up some bad days. No worries, sunshine.”

“In the meantime, I guess I’ll have the Minutemen make sure to check new visitors. I’ll reinitialize long patrols on all settlements… I hate to do that but we are going to be on high alert.”

Bear stopped them after they passed through the gate, “C’mere a sec, Wolf. I want to measure your feet.”

“My feet? Oooo, are you going to make me some new gofasters?”

“New gowhatnow?”

Bear chuckled, “It’s slang for ‘sneakers’, Johnny Boy. And no, I’m making you some serious shit-kicker boots! That deathclaw hide made some fantastic leather and I’m itchin’ to start creating.”

Wraith had worked with the ghoul to re-build the home just to the right of the bridge. Now with a full workshop and storefront, Bear’s business was booming. So much so that he had begun an apprentice program, just so he could have assistance with the near-overwhelming volume of orders.

“I noticed you seem to make a big deal about everyone else’s birthday, while doin’ your best to pretend yours don’t exist. Well, I’ve literally known you for centuries, so I’m making you something special and I want it done for the BIG one.” He passed her a vest as she sat down, “Try this on too.”

Wraith groaned, “Two-hundred forty years…”

“You’re only as old as the woman you feel.”

“It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.”

“Thanks, boys. That’s great. Super helpful.”

Bear clapped his large hands together, “Oh yeah, I finished the new armored jackets for the Hounds.” Turning, he grabbed an enormous coat off of a rack and held it up for them to see, “I even made one for my buddy Strong!”

The garment’s main body was fashioned from dark green leather and on the back the Hounds’ symbol, the Triskelion was done in golden inlay.

Hancock whistled appreciatively, “That is some mighty fine craftsmanship there. You’re a true master!”

“Incredible! Cait is going to spaz!”

“You think so?” Bear ducked his head, suddenly embarrassed, “You think she’ll be happy?”

Hancock’s eyes crinkled in a warm smile, “Yeah, brother. She’ll love ‘em.”

Leaving the shop, both were quiet as they entertained happy romantic thoughts. Arm in arm despite the heat, they slowly made their way up the street. Sudden bombastic laughter made them both jump slightly and as they turned a corner they could see Duncan, mouth open wide, laughing and pointing at Shaun. Wraith’s grandson was singing and dancing in a goofy manner along to the radio.

“Pretty good set of pipes on that kid… Nate sing?”

“Not as well as you. Honestly. I’m not just saying that to blow up your ego, or get in your pants.”

“I like it when you do those things too though…”

“Anchor! Anchor!” The song had ended and Duncan was clapping and shouting, “More! Anchor!”

Breathless, Shaun bowed with mock solemnity, “Jus a min, Dunk. I wanna talk to Grandma Wraith...”

Wraith clapped as well, “Anchor? What’s Anchor?”

“Oh, he just means ‘encore’. Dr. Curie said it earlier… So, speaking of that; Cap’n Danse left the clinic a little bit ago and he looked, I dunno… like, scared.”

“Brother Shaun! I asking politely, please!”

“Give me a second please.” Shaun smiled and shook his head, “He’s really needy today… So, yeah… um maybe you should poke your head in and see if Dr. Curie and…”

“I ASKING POLITELY!”

“Not at that volume.” Even with a quiet and even tone Shaun’s admonishment cracked like a whip.

“You have this under control?” Wraith popped her chin at the now apparently sullen Duncan.

“He needs to know I’ll stop playing with him if he gets too bossy, right?” Shaun flashed her an impish grin, “It’s just as important for a child to be told ‘no’ for reasonable reasons, as it is to receive positive reinforcement.”

“Ha! Well alright then.”

“That one from you?” Hancock tucked his chin, his question quiet.

“Yeah, but hearing it said back to me… ugh, it sounds really…”

“Robotic?”

“Yeah…”

Once inside the clinic, Wraith knocked politely on Curie’s exam room. Both jumped back when the door flew open and Fahrenheit, face scarlet in fury, yelled at them.

“I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!” As soon as she realized who she was roaring at, the red in her cheeks deepened, “What do you two want?”

“I’m sorry Fahr; I thought your exam would have been over…”

Curie’s voice carried an uncharacteristic tone of irritation, “Mademoiselle’s exam has not yet started.”

“This is all just a waste of time! I will not be a party to this farce!” The redhead swept out her hand, seeming to indicate all of Sanctuary, “I will not stay here for the remainder of my pregnancy to be poked and prodded!” She stabbed a finger in Curie’s face, “Perhaps you’ll do better to convince Mrs. Valentine to be your lab rat. I will not!”

“Who said anything about you staying here? I thought you just came to get an ultrasound? Maybe hear th’ lil one’s heartbeat…” Hancock’s face clouded in confusion.

“I simply asked.” Curie pushed herself to her feet and frowned at Wraith, “This… woman… yelled at Danse after I asked him to help me move equipment.” Her struggle to maintain a professional tone was becoming increasingly apparent, “He would have naturally left before the examination commenced! Her… bellowing was unnecessary!”

“YOU’RE UNNECESSARY!”

“Okay whoa!” Hancock stood between them with his hands up, “Let’s all just breathe…”

Wraith’s laughter cut through the room like a saber, “Ha ha… you’re… hahaha.”

“I fail to see what is so damn funny.”

“Fahrenheit this is so unlike you! No one is going to make you do anything! As if we even could.” Wraith wiped a tear from her eye, “I’m sorry for laughing but this has gotten really out of hand, right? You came all this way… so let’s regroup. Do you want me to stay? Do you want your dad here? You tell us how you want this to go.”

“Monsieur Hancock is… oh my.”

“He raised me but he didn’t help make me.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.”

She rolled her eyes, “Semantics… you were pivotal in my development as an individual. Satisfied?”

“Quite.”

Fahrenheit’s shoulders sagged, “Very well. I might have overreacted. But I am firm in that Amari will deliver my child.”

“But surely my procedural knowledge far outweighs even Dr. Amari’s.”

“How many babies have you delivered?”

“Well… none.”

“She has delivered several to drifters; in poor health, no less.” She gestured to Hancock, “He himself has helped with at least four in my memory. Their practical experience far outweighs your procedural knowledge, Dr. Curie.” She offered the synth a slight smile, “If we can time it out and you would like to come and observe, I suppose I would have no objections.”

“You’ve delivered babies, Hancock?”

“Helped. I helped. Mostly just made sure there was clean water and a hand to hold.”

“I’ve been made to understand that even these simple things can be pivotal, oui?” Curie sighed, “I would be remiss if I did not defer to the mother.” She turned and pulled a book from the shelf behind her desk. Smiling, she offered it to the ghoul, “In that case, please accept this, Monsieur Hancock. I know you will have no difficulty in committing it to memory and I am certain Dr. Amari will find it useful as well.”

“Tiny, Tiny Babies: All You Need to Know About Pediatric Medicine.” Flipping through the first few pages, his smile was tender, “I might get choked up here…”

“In that case, please leave! I’ve had my fill of hormonally-induced, excessive emotion today. Thank you.”

“Fine by me.” Smiling wickedly, he kissed the top of her head as he passed her on his way to the door, “Love you, Fahr.”

“I said no more.” Her smile betrayed her tone.

 That evening, Wraith used her guests as an excuse to throw a settlement-wide cookout. The outdoor communal dining area was filled with the sounds of people happily eating and visiting. Wraith sat at a picnic table with the MacCreadys, Shaun, Hancock, Fahrenheit, Curie and Danse. Sighing with contentment she watched their faces, committing their expressions and happy tones to memory; fighting dark thoughts about how she might have lost them to the deathclaw.

Fahrenheit’s exam had gone well and she agreed to go back after dinner so that Hancock could hear the heartbeat of his grandchild.

“You and Mikey come up with some names yet?”

“No, MacCready; Michael and I will decide when we actually meet the child.”

“You see my eyes rolling, right? Jeez.”

“Mon ours, would you pass me the carrots? Merci beaucoup.”

“What’s ‘ours’, Docker Curie?”

“It means ‘bear’, sweet boy.”

His cherubic face screwed up in confusion, Duncan pointed at another table, “Unkie Bear is right there.”

“It is a nickname that I have given to Danse. It demonstrates the deep affection I have for him.”

“It’s like how Wraith calls you ‘Dunk’ and me ‘Mac’, because she loves us.”

“Oh, you call Mr. Cap’n ‘Tin Can’ cause you love him too, right daddy?”

MacCready choked on his Nuka Cola.

“Is that true MacCready? Do you love me?”

Danse’s tone was so perfectly deadpan, Wraith couldn’t trust herself to look up. Afraid she might ruin the moment, she feigned fascination over the carrots on her plate.

Looking down at the hopeful and sweet smiling face of his son, MacCready visibly swallowed, “What… ahhh… what’s not… to… to love?”

“You alright MacCready? Looking painful o’er there.” Hancock’s voice shook slightly with suppressed mirth.

“… just overcome with love, man. Overcome…”

 Later, Shaun was helping Wraith wash dishes and she could tell he was working himself up to ask her something big. Alone in her kitchen, with the radio softly playing, he would normally hum along. Quiet and stiff limbed, the youth practically shouted anxiety at her.

“Mr. MacCready says that I’m a really good shot.”

“Mmm hmm. He brags about you almost as much as he brags about himself.”

I have a feeling I know where this is going…

“I was able to disarm Nat almost every drill and my throws have gotten better too…”

“You certainly have improved but don’t forget; it’s almost impossible to defend against a knife without getting cut. If you can run away…”

I’m not going to make this too easy on you, kid.

“Yeah, I remember. So, I heard that you were going to start long patrols back up…”

“Yup.”

“If… if Mr. MacCready goes out, may I go too?” He stood perfectly straight with his arms down to either side and his chin high. “I won’t get in the way and I think that if we bring Dogmeat or… or another adult…”

“I’m not sure Mac will want to leave Duncan.” Wraith reached out and tapped her grandson’s elbow, hoping the contact would help him relax, “He isn’t, technically speaking, a member of the Minutemen. He has gone on long patrol before, that’s true, but mostly it was because he was frustrated and bored.”

Shaun’s face fell, “Oh…”

“I tell you what; it’s up to him. If he agrees and you take both a Minutemen solider and Dogmeat, then you have my permission.” She held up a finger in the face of his jubilant bouncing, “Maybe not a loooong patrol, okay? Maybe a longish patrol.”

“Really! Oh cool!” Suddenly serious he schooled his features back into attention, “I won’t let you down, General!”

 “Why are you laughing at me, Mac?!”

The sun had set and Sanctuary was quiet. Sitting on the bench next to the mill, Wraith and MacCready waited for Hancock and Fahrenheit to finish at the clinic. Snuggled up under his arm, she had told him about Shaun’s proposal.

“I’m just surprised ‘s all. You barely let the kid go to the bathroom by himself…”

“Oh, please! I’m not that bad…”

“Uh huh. Yeah. Sure.”

She dug a knuckle into his ribs, hitting a particularly ticklish spot, “Robert Joseph, you take that back!”

When he attempted to twist away, she hooked her arm around his waist pulling him fully beneath her. Popping herself up, she straddled him and held his arms; pinning him in less than a blink.

Breathless and aroused he tried to lean toward her, “Or you’ll what? Tell me what you’ll do to me.”

“Hmm, I don’t know…” Smiling evilly, she shifted her pelvis, grinding against him, “See how close I can get you? Hmm? Make you shudder and shake…”

“Please, yes…”

“That’s it, ask me nicely.” Reaching down between them, she palmed him through his jeans.

“Plea… uhhhh.”

She stopped stroking and gave him a squeeze, “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you.”

“Don’t stop. Please don’t… God yes. Just like that. Please, Wraith. Please touch me.”

“Why, I’m surprised at you!” Arching over him, she bent to set her teeth on his neck, nipping gently even as she slipped her hand beneath his waistband, “Asking for such things on a public bench.”

“You’re so… I’m… puh… ye… plea…”  Close to climax, he bucked involuntarily into her hand.

“Tell me, baby. Tell me how good it is.”

“Shit! Wraith, it’s so fucking good… I’m gonna… HUH UHHhhhhhh!”

After a few seconds of heavy breathing, MacCready suddenly sat up and pulled Wraith to his chest, kissing her hard, “Your turn…”

“Oh yeah? I don’t know; I’m not an exhibitionist…”

“There’s no one to see…”

“I can see you two got started without me.” Hancock smiled down at them, “And I hear that foul mouth of yours, Robert. What’s the matter, house too full?”

“Nothing quite like screwing on a hard bench outdoors…”

“Mills open, ain’t it?” Hancock opened the barn door and bowing, bade them enter.

MacCready picked Wraith up princess style and carried her across the threshold, “Good, you can help me with something.”

“From what I could see, you got it well in hand.”

 Bossy and the Goodneighbor provisoner caravan arrived a few days later. Despite his protests, Fahrenheit had insisted that Hancock stay with Wraith.

“You’ll drive me crazy. I’ll not have you under-foot and following me around.” Her tone softened briefly when a flash of hurt crossed the ghoul’s face, “Stay for a month and return home on Bossy’s next run. I’ll be sure to contact you, either through Radio Freedom or a courier, with any new information on the deathclaw incident.” Then to everyone’s amazement, she embraced Wraith, “I want to thank you Queenie, for everything you’ve done. Oh, and one more thing; the mattress in your guest room is terrible. I’ve slept on cobblestone streets that were less… lumpy. I’m almost positive, judging from what I know of you, that is most likely the best bed in the house. I’ll have Daisy find you better ones.”

“Oh… Okay Fahr… thank… thank you?”

“A larger one for your room as well since you are oft sharing a bed with two others. Especially since MacCready sleeps like he’s making snow angels.”

“Oh, I do not!”

“You kinda do…”

“Be well.” Turning briskly, Fahrenheit led the caravan through the gate an across the bridge.

“What the heck is a snow angel anyway?”

“Like this, daddy.” Duncan flopped onto his back and made angels in the dirt.

“Smart kid.” Hancock scooped the small boy into his arms and tousled the sand from his hair, “Your aunties teach you that?”

Sighing, he laid his head on the ghoul’s shoulder, “Yup. I miss ‘em.”

“Good thing it’s bath night...” MacCready sighed as well, “So, are you going to start on the new greenhouse or are you two going to go talk to the Abernathy settlers?”

Hancock passed Duncan to his father, “I still think it’s a dead end; they would have sent someone if they saw something.”

“I’m not going to leave it to chance. Any small detail could prove invaluable.” Wraith smiled at the MacCreadys as they hugged each other, “What about you, Mac? You figure out a ‘patrol for beginners’?”

“Yeah, Tenpines. I’ve got a couple more days of lessons then we’ll head out.”

“You takin’ Lloyd?”

“Naw, man; I’m going to let Shaun pick.”

Hancock gave him a mischievous grin, “You know he’ll pick Danse, right?”

“That’s fine,” He rubbed noses with his son, his voice going up an octave, “cause we all loooove Mr. Cap’n, don’t we?”

 Hancock was right. The trip to and from the Abernathy farm was both uneventful and fruitless. Frustration drove Wraith to sleeplessness and she slipped away from her lovers to go for a late-night walk. Her intention was to do a complete circuit of Sanctuary but instead found herself at Nate’s grave. To her surprise, Curie was standing near the make-shift headstone. Not wanting to shock or scare her, Wraith froze in indecision.

“What ez it, Panther?”

The large feline walked through the synth’s legs and padded to Wraith, whiskers extended.  Crouching slightly with arms out, she picked them up; holding them to her chest like a child.

“Oh, Madame, it is you.” Curie’s voice was strangely thick, “May I assist you?”

“Me?! Curie, what’s wrong?!”

“Oh! I do not want to burden you…”

Setting the cat gently on the ground Wraith went to embrace her, “You’ll never, ever be a burden!”

Seeming to melt in her arms, Curie cried bitterly for several minutes. Wraith thought her heart might break and her own eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, crying this much is so very taxing.” Sniffling and hiccupping she motioned to the grass, “May we sit?”

“I’m crying myself, and I don’t even know what about!”

“I… Even if we decided to… I wanted to… But, we cannot!”

A sudden revelation came to Wraith, “You two can’t have kids.”

“Mon ours would have been the greatest father…” Crying anew she bent forward, placing her face in her hands.

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry.”

“There is more… I’m sorry but… Danse isn’t aging… but I… I AM!” Raising her head, she turned to Wraith, eyes filled with deep sadness, “How will I ever tell him? He will have to watch me grow old and die. I will be gone and he will be alone… again alone.”

The realization that Curie was upset, not at her own mortality, but at the thought of Danse’s grief, set a pain in Wraith’s chest. “He’ll have time with you, right?” Reaching out she patted Curie’s back, “You are still young! There are years of memories for the two of you to make. And when you are no longer with us,” Fighting her own emotions, she swallowed hard, “he’ll…”

“Oh! That’s right!” Her face suddenly brightening, Curie clasped Wraith’s face in her hands, “You and Hancock will be with him! He would no doubt take comfort in your love and friendship.” Pulling Wraith’s face to her own, she clunked her forehead affectionately.

“You ladies alright?” Hancock had woken up when Wraith got out of the bed. Worried when she didn’t return, instinct drove him to check Nate’s grave, “Somethin’ happen?”

“Et is well, Monsieur Hancock.” Curie cocked her head to the side, considering the ghoul’s silhouette with the moon as a backdrop, “Have I done a metabolism study with you?”

“That a pick-up line?”

 Wraith did her best to keep occupied while Shaun, MacCready, Dogmeat and Danse were gone on patrol. From Tenpines, the group would head to Starlight Drive-in then on to Abernathy Farm and finally return to Sanctuary. Knowing that her grandson would be beyond her protective reach for several days was bothering her. However, she did take comfort in the strength of the adults (she counted Dogmeat as one such adult) he was with. Joining Sturges’s greenhouse work crew certainly helped as well; working hands helped to still a working mind.

“General, we’ve got a white flag bearer on the road.” Lloyd’s voice crackled from the walkie on Wraith’s hip, “Children of Atom, from the looks of it.”

“It’s not Marie, is it?”

“No ma’am, from the posture and gait, I’d say it’s a middle-aged woman.”

“Good job. Have Gabby meet her at the Rocket. I’m on my way.” Motioning for Hancock to join her, she set a brisk pace to the bridge, “I think it might be Isolde. I’ve been expecting to hear from her, but not in person!” Accepting her coat from a helpful soldier, she stopped to work the various clasps, “I’m thinking she’ll be a more reasonable conversationalists then her daughter...” Catching sight of her face in a window, she stopped again to work on a spot of grease.

“Having to talk to any of these… folks, doesn’t exactly razz my berries…”

It was indeed Isolde. Sitting on a barstool, she stared at the air conditioner with a mixture of fascination and keen distrust.

“Mother Isolde, welcome to Sanctuary. This is an unexpected honor.”

“Forgive me child, for surprising you this way. I was concerned that any attempts to contact or indeed warn you, in any way, would have been thwarted by Marie.”

“Is there a… difficulty concerning your daughter? Some aid I might provide?”

Looking down at the glass of water that Gabby had given her she seemed on the verge of tears, “My daughter’s obsession with you has not waned. She has convinced herself that if she kills you she will have destroyed a false profit.”

Hancock growled deep in his chest, “That’s bullshit! Wraith has never claimed to be this… whatchamacallit, ‘Fog Walkn’ Favored One’. From what I heard that was all that Tektus asshole’s nonsense.”

“I’ll have to respectfully disagree Mayor Hancock. Wraith is indeed the Mother’s Favored One. Although she chooses not to embrace it, your wife is a Blessed Child of Atom and that holds immense religious significance to my people.”

“My… wife...”

Doing her best to ignore Hancock’s confused and sappy smile, Wraith pushed the conversation to the point, “All that aside; we recently came afoul of a chameleon deathclaw. Was that Marie? What else can I expect from her?”

“I truly know very little.” Looking up at Wraith there was a great deal of fear and regret in her eyes, “She began stirring up some of the younger, more fanatical Children and pushing for open war; against you and your Minutemen.” Her gaze returned to her cup and her voice softened, “My Marie, my daughter…”

“Isolde, what has happened?”

“I feared for my people. I knew that you would never want to destroy us but… you would. Utterly.” Standing, she set her cup aside and squared her shoulders, “I have denounced her. I cast her out.”

“I’m so sorry. That must have been so hard…”

Islode held up her hand, “I fear I have made the situation worse. After I exiled her she and her followers traveled to Megaton. It is my belief that they intended to recruit Infamy.”

Hancock sucked air over his teeth and groaned, “Goddam…”

“Who or what is Infamy?” Hancock’s reaction genuinely spooked Wraith.

“Nyx has had some… difficulty with ‘em. They’re Children but they are closer to feral than even I am.”

“They act like a collective; all of them ghouls. Having discarded their names, they are all Infamy. They defer to a glowing one who believes he’s Atom’s personal assassin.”

“You can hire ‘em if you can convince ‘em, that your goal is beneficial to Atom.” The ghoul rolled his eyes, “MacCready has bitched about ‘em too.”

“They are Atom’s ‘Divine Blade’. Very cunning. Very deadly.”

“Not so deadly when it comes to my people.”

Islode shook her head, “Marie somehow blames you for not receiving visions of her own. She blames you for her exile… for the loss of everything she holds dear. She wants you to lose everything the same way she has; then watch as you die in anguish.”

Revelation struck Wraith like a hammer, “If there was a spy… then they knew I’d set long patrols… Shaun, Mac, Danse and Dogmeat…” She practically turned herself inside out to sprint to the Radio Freedom tower…

 “I’m not sure when I noticed… Maybe that one time with the deathclaw… when she broke her ribs, remember?”

“I missed that one. I must have still been at the police station.” Danse’s brow furrowed, “What about her breaking her ribs would have made her alluring?”

“Not cause she got hurt. Just… I don’t know… the fact that she would get hurt for other people’s sake.”

“That I can understand; her selflessness and devotion to others does make her compelling.”

“And her legs and her eyes and…”  

“Mr. MacCready… can we please change the subject…”

Navigating the rocky terrain south of Tenpines, the group had fallen into an easy banter.

“Shaun, buddy, I’ve told you to drop the ‘mister’. Call me ‘Mac’; like Wraith does.”

The youth’s mouth twisted, “No that’s weird…”

“Well kid I have plenty of names… how about ‘MacCready’ like Hancock does?”

Danse chuckled, “I think that might be weird for similar reasons.”

“Okay… what about ‘RJ’?”

Happy to have moved on from the ‘Wraith is a Knockout’ discussion, Shaun readily agreed.

The sniper’s bullet hit Danse and he fell from the ridge.

Dogmeat instantly turned and made a beeline for the assailant.

MacCready’s first thought was for Shaun and he screamed his name, even as he was overrun by a herd of feral ghouls.

A slight movement out of the corner of his eye was all the warning Shaun got before a hooded attacker, wielding an evil looking dagger, hacked at his face. Grabbing his opponent’s right elbow, Shaun pulled forward and raised his own right arm up; tight to theirs. Pivoting to the left and using his back and hip as a fulcrum, he thrust his arm toward the earth, rolling them both to the ground. Keeping his momentum, he put some small distance between them, and then vaulted to his feet while unsheathing his bayonet.

Infamy was impressed.

Shocked to see his foe was a glowing one, Shaun backed away even as eyes kept flicking to the cliff where Danse fell. And to his rifle that lay midway between them.

Infamy noticed.

“That your friend, there? Too bad little boy.” Their voice had an odd, echoing quality that sent shivers down the spine. “That your precious mentor, getting gnawed at by my children? So tragic! What will you do, little boy?” They chuckled low and evil, “I got you, you know? You’re cut. Your blood is flowing, ha ha. Flowing away.”

Ignoring the baiting, Shaun's mind was filled with only one thought:

Danse didn’t cry out when he fell…

Thank you so much for reading! Like what you read? Looking for more? Please check my Wraith in the Ruins tag for the full link tree. As always, if you have any questions/comments/concerns, my ask is open (anon too). I would love to hear from you! =^..^=

#wraith in the ruins #fallout 4 #john hancock #rj maccready #paladin danse #fallout curie #fallout danse #fallout dogmeat #fallout fanfic #fallout fan fiction #hancock #maccready #john hancock fanfic #fallout maccready fanfic

[vkr-kayne]

Dark Silence train of thought

Hi I am freaking out, how are you? these are my million mph thoughts if you’d like to read a huge fuckin brain dump, cool       

EDIT: this got very long I’m soRRY FJALKFD

Who was that really at the end with Anti??? was it Chase or Jack?? bc we heard a bunch of children’s voices, and still no true confirmation that Jack’s woken up from a coma yet

was this in real life or some kind of weird dimension? could it be a nightmare or a vision during a coma?

ANTI WHAT THE FUCK

if the glitch bitch does ANYTHING to Chase’s children i will immediately unstan him

FULL-BODY ANTI

what if there’s some weird fuckin twist where that somehow wasn’t actually Anti at the end?? rational thoughts are failing me so idk if that’s even possible but??? aaaAAHHHHh???

so light changes are a sign of Anti?

WHERE THE FUCK IS JACKIEBOY MAN IN THIS MESS

OR MARVIN

OR JJ ACTUALLY

THE FUCK

Jack’s acting is absolutely incredible and I want to hug that man for all of this. Signe’s camera work is beyond amazing and I would like to hug her too. Robin’s editing is fucking insane for this and sells the atmosphere better than anything I’ve ever seen for him being the only person working on it, and I want to hug that cube man as well.

im supposed to be studying calculus whoopsies

that aint gonna happen

“aint” has the same letters as “anti” oh my god

Is Anti currently going after Chase or Jack? or is he somehow able to go after both simultaneously?

THAT FUCKING LENS FLARE

I feel like a fool for writing out a theory last week about why Anti wouldn’t appear

Anti just came in and bitchslapped that shit outta here

I am deceased

Jack I fucking love/hate you right now

I am super glad that Mayhem2k18 is still officially happening and didn’t end on that depressing vid of Chase

it makes a lot of sense that pink/red colors are associated with Anti since that’s literaLLY THE INVERSE OF GREEN

THEY’RE GODDAMN OPPOSITES SO OF GODDAMN COURSE THEY’D HAVE OPPOSITE GODDAMN COLORS GODDAMNIT

why is Anti barefoot. just.... why

he’s gonna go slappin all over Jack’s floors

unless he has socks on to keep them lil feetsies warm

don’t want a cold demon boi with cold demon toesies

all of the frames from the glitches are either terrifying nightmare fuel or extremely derpy looking. there is no in-between.

fucking hell Robin just how long did this take to edit???

BLOOPERS

why doesn’t Anti have a cut on his neck? is this before Say Goodbye even happened? or can he heal from that?

what if it’s not Anti at all?

I already asked that earlier fuck

building off of earlier thoughts: what exactly do the children’s voices mean? are they Chase’s kids (it better fucking not be), or just a manifestation of Jack’s fears and he always hears when Anti’s around?

the whispers in this video were the same as the one’s from Stories Untold 4 so... we were seeing the nightmare he woke up from, then?

I hate whispering sounds apparently

not like... in an “oh no teh whisper are scawy DX” kinda way 

but i just.... mmmm nope, do not like

that better not be another fuckin auditory trigger, brain; you’ve made enough of those, we don’t need normal things like whispering to join them

SIGNE’S CINEMATOGRAPHY IS  👌 👌 👌 GODDAMN 

seriously without her helping out we wouldn’tve had NEARLY as amazing shots

...no offense Seán

but Signe is has an amazing eye for this stuff, you just worry about acting n shit, k?

i have rewatched the ending so many times now

WHY DOES .25 SPEED MAKE IT SO MUCH FUCKN CREEPIER JEEZ

THE HEAD THING = NOPE

Jack went from adorable giddy fanboy w/ Ryan Reynolds to absolute murder bean in a fuckin hurry

WHERE THE FUCK IS JACKIE? SERIOUSLY

Marvin/JJ/whoever the fuck is tryna wake up Jack can y’all hurry it up please

..but also don’t bc I love seeing freaky videos like this

so if we’re seeing Jack’s comatose nightmares, does that mean that Anti’s just a figment of his imagination

as in he’s never been real

will we ever get an expLANATION FOR MOTHERFUCKING OVERNIGHT WATCH

probably not

that’s the last time we saw Anti wasn’t it

damn

maybe Jackieboy Man hasn’t shown up bc he and Jack are one and the same

I am 1000004% ready for a JBM vs Anti showdown

or Marvin vs Anti too

magic cat man deserves more showtime gdi, he’s the oldest ego here and he’s barely had any attention compared to Grits Bits over here 

gringle bungle,,,,, gloat boat,,,,,, grin bin

fuck this is turning into that ASG post from a while ago-

SEAN IT IS 5 AM YOUR TIME GET OFF TUMBLR YOU CUCK

oh that got rid of the bullet points rip

it’s ok I fixed it

guess y’all kinda have an idea of how long I’ve been adding stuff to this now huh

hm I have an AP exam in.... 6 hours, cool

thanks Jack for choosing the day before it to dump the entirity of hell on us :D

no but really I missed this

IF THERE’S NOTHING ANTI-RELATED FOR LIKE 6N MONTHS AFTER THIS IM GOING TO DIE

YOU BETTER NOT KILL OFF ANYONE EITHER, SEAN

can I start referring to Robin as “accomplice cube” again?

plz

that was one of my proudest moments here

and it’s quite fitting for now

Why doesn’t Jack remember the egos?? or is that simply his form of fuckery for us, and it doesn’t actually tie in to this bizarre plot thing going on?

Signe better not start pretending to not know the egos too...... shes the last one i trust ok

#jacksepticeye #mayhem2k18 #mayhem18 #this is gonna be my brain dump post #so i'll probably add on more stuff throughout the day #cool

[callmetippytumbles]

Home, A TRR Fanfic Series, Part 5 [2/2] (Liam)

Tippy’s note: This is the part that everyone has been waiting for, and I have been most excited to share.  Basically, the moment where Liam and Harrold meet for the first time is the genesis of this whole series.  Harrold has a lot of anger towards Liam for what happened in Cordonia, namely the scandal, as well as what Liam is asking Halle to take on.  Harrold does use racialized language to mirror the language that he reads when he reads about his daughter as well as to make Liam feel uncomfortable.  

Disclaimer: Choices owns this and I do not.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5(1)

Words Counted: 3,069 Rating: M, Mature Language Pairing: Liam x MC (Halle), endgame Trigger Warning: Racial Slurs

Tags:  @youwontlikewherewewillgo  @sleeplessescapades @jasoncrouse @lizzybeth1986  @hopefulmoonobject @ayo-minty-jess   @flyawayblue56 @drakewalkerwhipped @drakelover78 @umccall71 @writtenbycandy   @mfackenthal

Summary: Liam lands in North Carolina expecting to find Halle but instead meets Harrold.

Hours earlier...

It was a humid day in North Carolina.  Liam was thankful he didn’t go with his usual casual outfit.  His cashmere sweater and button down would have been soaked with sweat by the time he got from the car to the porch.  Not all of the sweat would have been from the oppressive heat.  

He was at Halle’s family home, about to knock on the door to see if she would come home with him.  Bastien and Mara were standing behind him.  Olivia was confident that Halle was still in love with him, but right now he wasn’t sure.  The only way he would know for sure was behind that door.  

He took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

A stern, gruff voice called out, “Just a minute.  You better not be Jehovah, this is a Baptist household!”

A puzzled look washed over Liam’s face.  He quickly regained his composure as the man opened the door.  He was tall with a muscular, commanding frame for a man of his age.  

“Yes.  Hello, are you Harrold Berry?”

“Who’s asking?”

“Right.  I should introduce myself.  I am Liam—”

“Oh, right,” Harrold interjected.  

Liam could hear the sound of recognition in his tone.  He offered a small smile.

“You are the man who didn’t think to ask me for permission to marry my daughter.”

Liam’s head reflexively jerked back.  Harrold’s bluntness took him by surprise.  

“Well, don’t just stand there.  C’mon in.”  He peered behind Liam and then added, “Your lil’ friends can come too,” gesturing to Bastien and Mara.

Inside, Liam stood in the Berry’s living room.  Pictures of the family were everywhere.  They were on shelves in the TV stand, on top of the fireplace, on the side table.  Even along some of the walls.  The house was covered in memories of the family.  Liam’s eyes were drawn to all of the pictures, especially those of Halle.  The photos were so different than all of the ones at the palace.  In his home, there are portraits, mostly oil paintings of past kings and rulers.  The few actual photos that were hung were not private candids taken by Constantine, Regina, or even his mother.  They were taken by the press or by the Crown’s official photographer, Mario Di Bacco.  

Seeing the photos of the Berry Family, by them told their family history in a way that the ones at the palace didn’t.  When he looked at his family photos, he doesn’t get a warm feeling.  Compared to Halle’s family, the Royal family looked sterile and cold.  He didn’t even know the context for any of these moments, but he already feels the warmth and intimacy of them.  He thought about some of the photos taken by Maxwell and the one he and Halle took on the top of the Eiffel Tower.  He remembered that night whenever he looks at it.  

Liam paced around the living room absorbing all of the memories.  He picked up a small frame on the TV stand that had a picture of Halle when she was young.  She was holding a doll made of yarn and cradling it like a baby.  Another photo had Halle on the back of a boy, older, looks like Harrold.  Liam assumed that the young boy had to be Halle’s brother.  

He didn’t know that she had a brother.  Up until 20 hours ago, he assumed Halle was born in New York.  

The frame next to that had two pictures, hinged together like a book.  The first was a picture of the boy that had Halle on his back, but he is at least ten years older. He was much taller and wearing a crown and posed hugging a woman in front of him. She was wearing a crown too. Both had sashes. He could only read hers. Howard Homecoming Queen.  On the other side of the hinged frame, a younger Halle and a young man were in a similar pose.  No crowns.  The young man had deep umber skin and short hair.  They were both smiling.  Unlike the other photo, the young man in Halle’s picture held her closer.  Liam felt a small ripple of jealousy course through his body.  

This was more than a decade ago, calm down, he told himself.  

Liam kept looking at photos of the Berrys’ lives.  He saw Harrold’s wedding photos to Halle’s mother.  Harrold in the ocean holding a young Halle in the water.  In another frame was a set of pictures of Halle in a white gown and long straight hair.  She was on the arm of another man, with much lighter skin and almost bald.  The next picture had Halle and the young man in the center of a few other couples.  A third showed Halle and the young man in a ballroom pose.  

Looking at the photos stirred a myriad of emotions for Liam.  On the one hand, he was fascinated.  During the social season, when he would lie in his bed at night, thinking about Halle, he would wonder what she was like as a child.  Was she as mischievous and lively as the woman she became?  Was she a happy child?  He is actually getting answers to that.  

On the other hand, the photos only highlighted how little of Halle he knew.  Liam knew her personality and temperament.  The basics.  She never talked about her childhood in depth.  He didn’t even know she was born in North Carolina.  Seeing these moments of her life, sparked a sense of sadness in Liam.  Halle had a whole life before him that he didn’t know or could begin to comprehend.

As Liam was looking at the pictures, Harrold returned to the living room with sweet tea.  While the gesture was hospitable, Harrold’s attitude was far from it.

“I suppose you and your friends are not used to the heat of the American South,” Harrold explained as he handed glassed to Liam, Bastien, and Mara.  

Bastien and Mara took a sip and puckered their faces at the intense sweetness.  Liam sipped and had a less dramatic reaction.  He thanked Harrold for the drink.

“I figured you shouldn’t die of thirst while you explain your business here.”

“Thank you for being so generous to speak with me and welcoming me into your home, Mr. Berry.”

Harrold turned away, settling in his Lazyboy.  Liam sat opposite him on the sofa.  Still holding one of the pictures of Halle in his hands.  Bastien and Mara remained standing behind him.  

“Seeing that you and my daughter are betrothed, I guess you should call me Harrold.”

Liam nodded.  He was still looking at the picture he held in his hands.  His knowledge of American traditions and culture was limited at best.  He knew some things, but anything region-specific was outside his depth.  His brow furrowed as he tried to understand what he was looking at.

“Harrold, I thought America didn’t have titles?” Liam asked gesturing to the picture.

Harrold looked confused for a moment.  Liam turned the picture towards the older man.  He looked at the picture Liam was holding and laughed.

“America doesn’t,” Harrold confirmed.  “You are looking at pictures from Halle’s cotillion.”

Confusion remained on the younger man’s face.

“Cotillions are balls, mostly in the south.  Initially, they were events for the wealthy, usually white, to introduce their daughters to eligible wealthy men that they could marry.”

Liam looked at Harrold while he continued explaining.

“After slavery was abolished in the US, and the Civil War ended, a few black families managed to acquire some money and status.  Naturally those families wanted to do the same, but of course, were not allowed.”

Harrold swallowed some of the saliva that was collecting in his mouth.    

“Wealthy and not even middle-class whites did not want to mix with any kind of black, regardless.  Like we always do, because we are usually forced to, instead of complaining, we made our own.”

“Wealthy black people came together and started their own cotillions.  They expanded it to allow for anyone regardless of class to participate, as in you didn’t have to come from a prestigious or wealthy family.  At some point, the cotillion became closely linked with fraternities and sororities.”

Harrold pointed to Halle’s portrait.  

“Halle’s cotillion was organized by Delta Sigma Theta.”

Liam was not entirely familiar with what a fraternity or a sorority was.  He tried to remember that to Google on his own time later.  Google was going to be a handy resource while with Halle’s family as it has been with Halle.

“Black cotillions are not just about introducing young eligible women to get married.  They are about scholarship and community service.  Sure Halle in that picture is in a beautiful gown and has a fresh press.”

Liam raised an eyebrow at “fresh-press.”

“What you don’t see is the 50 hours of community service Halle had to complete, plus countless trips with the Deltas learning things like etiquette and dancing but also how to negotiate salary with a prospective employer.”

Liam listened to Harrold realizing that Halle’s adaptability during the social season was a lot less happenstance than he thought if she went through all of this just to participate in a ball.  He had to wonder why he felt it was happenstance at all.  Was it because he met her as a waitress?

He placed the picture on the coffee table between them, returning his attention to Harrold.

“I didn’t know about any of that.  Do all Black Americans do cotillions?”

Harrold shook his head.  “No.  Halle wouldn’t have if Joanne didn’t insist.”  A small frown formed on his face.

“I think it was because Joanne didn’t get to when she was Halle’s age, and she didn’t want Halle to not have that experience.”

“I see.”

The two remained seated, letting the silence settle between them.  The silence was cut by the sound of Harrold sucking his teeth.  He finished the rest of his sweet tea and put the glass on the table with an audible thud.  

Harrold looked at the young man before him.  He knew that he should welcome this man because his daughter loved him.  Harrold swore that he would never be that father with a shotgun on his porch.  It wasn’t until today that he understood them.  

Harrold cleared his throat.  “I know you didn’t come here just to learn about cotillions.”

“I didn’t,” he admitted.  “I came to talk to Halle.  Do you know where she is?”

“Halle went shopping with her mother and should be back shortly.  You didn’t come here just to talk.”  Harrold eyed Bastien and Mara suspiciously.  

“You wouldn’t need muscle to talk,” Harrold said gesturing to Bastien and Mara.  “You came to make her come back.”

“I would never force Halle to come back, but I am a king.  I need to have security with me.  Mara is actually Halle’s detail.”

Mara weakly waved behind Liam, quickly returning her hand to the side.

“If—”

“And that is if—”

Liam’s jaw stiffened, and he continued, “If Halle decides that she wants to come back, she will need to have security with her.”

Harrold leaned forward in his seat.  “Did Halle have security when that man showed up in her room?”

Liam’s eyes widened as he pressed his back into the sofa.  Bastien stood a little straighter, and he held his hands behind his back tighter.

Harrold's eyes narrowed as he continued, “What about when someone took photos of my daughter half-naked? Or how ‘bout when she was shot at was there security then?”

Liam remained silent.  His mouth became a small line.  What response could he possibly offer Harrold to assuage the ways that he failed his daughter?

“I am sure you are a decent man, at least to Halle, but you can see my reservations with you marrying my child.”

“Harrold, I cannot possibly begin to imagine how you must feel.  I know that Halle’s time with me has not been the easiest, to say the least.  I can offer 1,000 apologies, and it would not begin to scratch the surface.  What happened to Halle, that it happened under my watch.  Not being able to prevent it is my greatest regret.”

“So you plan to make up for it by making my daughter into some kind of trophy?  A possession for you to dress up and parade on your arm?  Your negress trinket?”

Liam flinched when he heard that word.  He was prepared to have Halle’s father, not like him, there may be convincing, he wasn’t ready for this.  Even so, he knew that Harrold’s anger was reasonable.  Liam has been in meetings and negotiations that were far tenser than this, but this was the most uncomfortable he has ever felt.  Knowing that he had to press on.  The stakes were too high.  Everything had to go on the table.  He gulped.

“No, sir.  I love Halle.  I have been in love with her since the night I met her in New York.  I never expected to see her again after that night.”

The older man, let Liam continue.  Listening intently.  

“The night she set foot in Cordonia was the greatest surprise of my life.  I was impressed with how seamlessly Halle fit in Cordonia.  The more time I spent with her, the deeper in love I fell.  The moments we had together were never enough.  I have heard about how wonderful and beautiful love is, but I never truly comprehended how powerful or transformative love can be until I met your daughter. 

“All of this to say that I do not want to possess Halle like a doll.  I want Halle to be my wife and to stand by my side as queen.  I want to give her the world.”

Harrold’s gaze never left Liam.  The intensity never wavered or softened.  Liam felt the full weight of his scrutiny, and he knew it.  He took a deep breath and spoke.

“I know that you think you know Halle.  What her life was like before you.  What you assume Halle’s life would be like once you marry, have children.  Live your ‘happily ever after.’”

Now it was Liam’s turn to lean into Harrold.  Returning his gaze.

“I look at you, and I worry.  I am fearful for my child.  Liam, you say you want to give Halle the world, but I don’t think you know or understand what the world has given Halle.”

The younger man’s jaw tightened, he balled his hand into a tight fist.

“You want to take my child and make her a target.  The fact that you are so willing to thrust her out there tells me that you don’t know her.”

“What don’t you think I know, Harrold?” Liam challenged.  “There is something you want to say about me, and you should just say it.”

“Want me to say it?  Spell it out for you, Your Highness?”  Harrold asked as he stood.

Liam gave a curt nod, rising to stand with him.

“Fine.  You don’t know anything about being with a Black Woman!”

Liam’s eyes widened.  He couldn’t ball his fist any tighter.

Harrold bellowed, “You are just not prepared for the scrutiny and malignment that you are asking Halle to subject herself to, to be by your side.  You will have Black children that you will have to raise.  

Sure you are a King, you can give them the best education money can buy, no material possession is out of their reach.  As soon as your children, my grandchildren,” Harrold said pointing to his chest.  “Leave your golden palace, they would not be seen as a prince or a princess they would be seen as a threat.  The world will have judged them before they have even said ‘hello.’  I have watched it happen to my son and daughter.  You are not prepared for that!”

Liam shouted,“Cordonia is not America!”

Harrold stood back and gave a small smile as if he appreciated Liam’s loss of control. He shook his head and laughed to himself.

“Are you sure about that?”

Liam looked at Halle’s father, his eyes wild with anger.

“Have you read what some of your news outlets have said about Halle?  What about the comments on those posts calling her every racial slur imaginable?  Those are not all Americans.  Most people from the US probably do not know that your country exists, let alone find it on a map.  

Those comments, the niggers, the blackies, those are from your own people Liam.  Halle being American is not the only problem they have with her.  You should know that better than anyone or have you not looked at yourself in the mirror?”

Liam furrowed his brow and sat down.  He hasn’t thought about looking or being different for a long time.  Being born second in line to the throne may protect from some of the apparent prejudice.  It doesn’t protect you from all of it.  His mind flashed back to Leo telling people Liam was adopted and not his brother when he was younger, or some of the Greek think pieces on how different Cordonia would be under his rule just because he didn’t look like any of the previous rulers.

The sooner you can stop being in denial about that the better it will be for you and her.”

Harrold’s words hung heavy in the air as he returned to his seat.  No one spoke.  Everything was tense.  Both men waiting for the breathing as well as their heart rate to return to normal.

The sound of rapid footsteps could be heard on the wooden porch before the door flew open.  

Halle ran in, turned towards the living room and stopped.  She quickly noticed Bastien and Mara standing in her living room.  

“Liam?”

He turned towards Halle.  The both of them stared, caught in the pull of the other’s gaze.  Several footsteps could be heard entering behind her.

“Halle why did you leave the—” Joanne said.

“Is everything—,” Rhon started.

Joanne and Rhon stopped when they noticed the extra guests.  The bags of groceries they carried dropped to the floor as they watched Halle and Liam.

“Halle, are you just going to stand there with your mouth open like the jaw of the singing bass?” Joanne said breaking the silence.  “That man traveled a long way to see you.  The least you can do is say ‘hello.’”

Part 6

#the royal romance #choices the royal romance #playchoices the royal romance #the royal romance fanfic #king liam trr #liam x mc fanfiction #liam x mc #tw: racial slurs #choices fanfiction #long post #mature fanfiction #mature language

[soyoureviewhiphoptoo]

4 of Rap’s Most Overrated Diss Tracks

1. 2Pac and Friends Take Shots at Notorious B.I.G. and Bad Boy Ent.

2Pac Featuring The Outlawz- Hit ‘Em Up Released: June 4, 1996 Label: Death Row Records and Interscope Records

That's why I fucked yo' bitch, you fat motherfucker!

The harsh and brutal opening line of one of the most iconic diss tracks ever released. In November 1994, months before he would be sentenced for his time in prison, 2Pac was ambushed and robbed at Quad Recording Studios in New York, leaving him with multiple gunshot wounds. Notorious B.I.G. and his team were in the studio during the altercation and soon thereafter, Biggie would release the single Who Shot Ya. While Biggie would go on to claim that the track was written months before the shooting and was in no way a diss towards his West-Coast counterpart, 2Pac would take massive offence from this song, believing he was set up. Upon his eventual release from prison, 2Pac would join forces with his group The Outlawz to record his response to the Biggie track, taking aim at Biggie, Puff Daddy, Lil Kim and Junior M.A.F.I.A. of Bad Boy Entertainment.

As I mentioned earlier, Hit ‘Em Up has been regarded as one of the most iconic diss tracks ever released; Pac would send brutal shots regarding the rumoured infidelity of Biggie’s wife, Faith Evans, Biggie copying Pac’s style and flow, reminding him of his humble beginnings and insulting his label mates. The song has one of the best hooks for a diss track and the energy exuded from the slow beat and Pac’s ferocious vocals would imply this song deserves the ratings it has received.

First off, fuck yo' bitch and the clique you claim Westside when we ride, come equipped with game You claim to be a player, but I fucked your wife We bust on Bad Boys, niggas fucked for life Plus, Puffy tryna see me, weak hearts I rip Biggie Smalls and Junior M.A.F.I.A. is some mark-ass bitches

Here is the problem with this track that people often overlook; Hit ‘Em Up would have served as a fitting solo track with Pac’s verses and his monologued outro but the song has three more verses from Outlaw members E.D.I Mean, Kadafi and Hussien Fatal. While the three young rappers are able to just about come near to Pac’s energy, ultimately, the Outlawz do not actually add to the song. Listen to this track enough times and you’ll realise that Pac says everything there was to say about Bad Boy and the Outlawz are just echoing his words. Not adding any pieces of new information or saying an overly unique or hurtful diss, just sticking with anything Pac said and making the song longer than it needed to be. If this song was a reply to Who Shot Ya, a Notorious B.I.G. single with no features, why clog your response with guest verses?

More isn’t always better.

2. Drake goes Back to Back, Fans helps him defeat Meek

Drake- Back to Back Released: July 29, 2015 Label: Cash Money Records, Young Money, Republic Records & OVO Sound Radio

Following a Twitter rant that resulted in Meek Mill accusing Drake of not writing his own songs, Drake fired back with the calm-mannered yet boring diss, Charged Up. After four days without a reply from the Dreamchaser camp, the Toronto M.C. fired the next shot with the relatively better diss, Back to Back. The song gained a grand ovation, winning over the internet. The song would go on to be multi-platinum and the first ever diss track to be nominated for a Grammy.

Here’s the thing about Drake’s Back to Back, it was hardly a diss track, to begin with. Rather than follow the traditional route, Drake decided to follow the idea of “Not releasing direct diss tracks but releasing hit songs and diss you on them”. While the first song was far from exciting, Drake would take numerous shots at the credibility of Meek Mill on Charged Up. On Back to Back, however, the main diss in the long verse was:

This for y'all that think that I don't write enough They just mad ‘cause I got the Midas touch You love her, then you gotta give the world to her Is that a world tour or your girl's tour? I know that you gotta be a thug for her This ain't what she meant when she told you to open up more Yeah, trigger fingers turn to Twitter fingers Yeah, you gettin' bodied by a singin' nigga I'm not the type of nigga that'll type to niggas And shout-out to all my boss bitches wifin' niggas

Here, Drake only briefly mentions the ghostwriting allegations while deciding to turn the beef towards Meek’s then-girlfriend and Young Money labelmate, Nicki Minaj, questioning Meek’s “gangsta” and pointing out he is not as famous or successful as Nicki or himself. Aside from being perceived as a low blow to involve a man’s girlfriend to a situation that doesn’t involve her, these lines aren’t necessarily disses but quotable cheap shots that people can sing along to. You’re not necessarily hurting anyone when you say lines that are reminiscent to playground insults on a hot beat however they will bruise your pride when the song begins to get played everywhere multiple times.

Sure, this worked for Drake but there are two reasons why he was able to overcome Meek Mill.

1.      Meek released a lukewarm response. Wanna Know, released the day after Back to Back, did not match the hyped-up vibe that Drake created and Meek did not bring his usual aggressive and loud energy to the track despite sampling Quentin Miller’s reference track for Drake’s hit song Know Yourself and sending far more scathing shots at Drake (And sampling the Undertaker’s iconic theme song).

2.      The people were on Drake’s side and, most importantly, the people were against Meek. Over the course of that week, millions of memes relating to the beef were created, with Meek slander being the theme. Drake would go on to project many of these memes on a screen during his Back to Back performance at OVO Fest, which spelt the end of the beef.

If the release of Back to Back taught me anything, it is that Drake’s fanbase is can turn a mediocre “diss” song into the song of the summer and the cause of a meteoric rise.

3. Kendrick “Diss” Puts Rap on Notice

Big Sean Featuring Kendrick Lamar and Jay Electronica- Control Released: August 12, 2013 Label: UMG Recordings, Inc., G.O.O.D. Music & Def Jam Recordings

During the 2013 roll-out for his second studio album, Hall of Fame, Big Sean would release the single Control. Featuring fellow rappers Kendrick Lamar and Jay Electronica, the Sean single delivered three impressive rap verses. While the song was unable to be added to the album due to a sample not being cleared on time, the song would go on to gain critical acclaim and becoming one of the most notable songs in Big Sean’s discography. Mind you, that is not thanks to Sean by any means. It would be Kendrick’s verse that would send shockwaves throughout the rap industry.

With a guest verse that hijacked the shine of his fellow artists and a stupendous lyrical display that will leave you catching your breath, Kendrick spat, possibly, the best rap verse of his career.  What is odd about this verse is whenever it is discussed by critics and major publications, it is often referred to as a diss verse. When I first heard this verse five years ago, this sentiment confused me and it still leaves me scratching my head today. The very reason why this verse is an “overrated diss” is that it was incorrectly labelled as a diss, to begin with. In this very long rap verse, there are certain bars that grabbed the most attention and generated the most reaction.

I'm Makaveli's offspring, I'm the King of New York King of the Coast; one hand, I juggle 'em both

With these lines, Kendrick claims he is the king of both California and New York, two of the spiritual homes of hip-hop. The latter claim led to a response from many New York rappers, most notably Joel Ortiz, Joe Budden, Cassidy and a surprisingly harsh diss track from Papoose. While it makes sense that rappers will act as gatekeepers for their city against the outsider with boisterous claims, it also seems odd that certain rappers took lines, that were nothing more than Kendrick bragging and displaying his confidence, like this to heart (especially Papoose).

I'm usually homeboys with the same niggas I'm rhymin' with But this is hip-hop, and them niggas should know what time it is And that goes for Jermaine Cole, Big K.R.I.T., Wale Pusha T, Meek Millz, A$AP Rocky, Drake Big Sean, Jay Electron', Tyler, Mac Miller I got love for you all, but I'm tryna murder you niggas Tryna make sure your core fans never heard of you niggas They don't wanna hear not one more noun or verb from you niggas

This is a section of the verse I remember the most. In a fashion that would make The Game proud, Kendrick would name drop many prominent rappers and while saying he respects them all, he says he plans to outdo them all and surpass them. I remember a very specific out roar towards this particular section, with many people feeling this was a diss towards the individuals Kendrick named. This, of course, is incorrect. At this time, Kendrick had worked with all of the rappers he mentioned, with the exception of Tyler, The Creator. He even states he is friends with all of them, making it clear to me that he was playing it safe with this section by naming people that may not have a negative reaction, generate a sense of competition and most importantly, generate a big enough reaction from the fans. With the exception of Nicki Minaj, 2 Chainz, Rick Ross and the T.D.E roster, all Kendrick did was name drop all of the rappers who had the most mainstream appeal in 2013.

Kendrick might have spat an amazing verse that brought back a sense of competition to hip-hop but he set a statement, not release a diss.

4. Remy Ma hands Nicki Minaj and herself an L

Remy Ma- shETHER Released: February 25, 2017 Label: Empire Distribution

Unlike all of the feuds on this list, the tension between Remy Ma and Nicki Minaj has been well-documented for many years. Dating back to 2007, Remy Ma, who was becoming a fan of the young Nicki Minaj, perceived the opening lines of Nicki’s single “Dirty Money” as a diss towards her. Despite being a belief she maintained for a few years, Remy had a change of heart upon her 2014 release from prison. Remy and Nicki would publicly champion each other and show each other love through tweets and interviews. All of this would come to a halt when Remy would release an N.Y. State of Mind freestyle where it was speculated that she sent shots towards Nicki Minaj. Since the release of this freestyle, Nicki would send shots on featured verses on Gucci Mane’s Make Love and Jason Derulo’s Swalla. At this point, Remy was given the excuse to release a 7-minute freestyle over Nas’ iconic diss track called shETHER.

Off the bat, the very first issue Remy encounters with this song is the song she chose. To rap on the beat of one of the greatest diss tracks ever recorded immediately puts her remix under a magnifying glass. The song was destined to fall from the resulting high expectations despite Remy superb rapping ability and cypher delivery style. With seven minutes of straight bars, there are several instances of memorable bars, discrediting Nicki’s character, insulting her surgically enhanced body, her label situation, her relationship with her brother and instances where Remy just goes on spectacular lyrical runs.

And I got a few words for the moms of the young Barbz Guess who supports a child molester? Nicki Minaj You paid for your brother’s wedding? That’s hella foul How you spendin' money to support a pedophile? He a walkin' dead man, sendin' threats to him I guess that’s why they call you Barbie, you was next to Ken Talkin’ about your money long and your foreign sick Why you ain’t help your bro hide his cum from forensics?

The next issue (and possibly the biggest) was the legitimacy of the lyrics. In rap beef, it is not uncalled of that rappers tend to stretch the truth or just lie in a few bars on their diss songs (After all, the opening line of Hit ‘Em Up has since been disproved) however, there are several instances in shETHER where Remy makes claims and allegations towards Nicki. During this song, Remy accused Nicki of: sleeping around with multiple artists including Drake, Lil Wayne, Gucci Mane, Ebro Darden & Trey Songz, having punctured ass implants for three months & refusing sex with her then-boyfriend Meek Mill, being addicted to cocaine & ecstasy, having untreated gonorrhoea and signing a 360-record deal to Young Money. Mind you, all of the bars relating to these topics were shocking and added to the song when it was first released, however, since then, a lot of the claims that built up a majority of the song were apparently disproved. With many of the men, Remy named as Nicki’s past lovers, denying the allegations, Meek denying talking to Remy about Nicki’s punctured implants and learning Nicki was not signed to a 360 from a simple Google search deflated the validity of shETHER overall.

Remy would go on to an attempt to go “back to back” on Nicki by releasing the significantly weaker diss track Another One, further deflating the effect of shETHER. Nicki would release the even weaker response; the Drake and Lil Wayne assisted No Frauds. While there would be later exchanges between the two, including Nicki spitting responses on the 2Chainz’s Realize and DJ Khaled’s Can’t Even Lie, the battle was over by then and it was unanimously decided that Nicki lost. While this would be nice under regular circumstances, Remy did not necessarily walk away from this beef in complete victory. shETHER has since been banned from radio and streaming services due to Remy not gaining rights to use the Ether beat, her credibility has been brought into question due to her many allegations and Remy’s eagerness in the battle caused her to disrupt her own momentum.

Nicki Minaj might have lost this battle but Remy Ma wasn’t really a winner in the end.

#2pac #outlawz #Notorious BIG #bad boy #drake #Meek Mill #Big Sean #Kendrick Lamar #nicki minaj #remy ma #hit em up #control #back to back #shether #diss track #list #overrated #rap #hip hop #review #song review #album review #music #music video #musicians #syrhht

[artificialqueens]

: Sinning Never Felt So Good (Pearlet) : Chapter 4 : katyasbingowings

A/N - thank you so much for the positive feedback, it does make a gal so happy. Anyway, in terms of smutty stuff, as a lesbian male gay intercourse is not my fortay, so please do forgive me. Also a lil but of Biadore to spice things up…

Warning: Smut

“Miss, is or is not a naked man reaching towards God a tad too homoerotic, I thought the bible didn’t like the gays.” Katya shot her hand up, voicing her thoughts to their Religious History teacher and silent classroom, who all soon burst into mad cackles. Except Matt, of course, who elbowed his companion roughly, growing red as his classmates all turned in their general direction.

“Katya! The nudity is used to represent -”

“If his penis is free - and tiny, if I may add - and a buff man is present they must be some homosexual underlinings. There can’t be a heterosexual explanation for this.”

“Katya. Get out. Now.”

And that’s the short tale of how Matt ended up abandoned and lonely in his first Religious History class, he being only of many wanting to delve into how religion has effected modern life. Matt sighed, defeated, watching from the sidelines as his classmates giggled between each other and doodled faces onto said miniature genitalia, again a wallflower who didn’t seem to fit in. Catholic school was not as religious as he had anticipated.

~-~-~-

The week soon drew to a close, each day following the same pattern: Matt waking up early to have breakfast with Katya, followed by class, Katya getting removed from said class for some inappropriate comment, Matt would socialise with his ‘friend’ during lunch - while Jason used cigarettes to battle his jealousy of the make believe individual, Katya grew closer to Tracy/Trissy/Tammie/nobody was really too sure, the foursome would have dinner together, Jason blatantly flirted with Matt, before everyone would drift to sleep. Rinse and repeat.

No classes were held over the weekend, Saturday being a free day, and Sunday being lords day. So as Friday night arrived the students were all ready for a well-deserved rest, no one had an ounce of energy remaining after the sinful quantities of work that had been forced upon them. Jason had retreated to his dorm, changing into more appropriate attire for lounging around with a large bottle of vodka: his signature torn jeans and an oversized hoodie, much better than the plain sweater vest school uniform. The boy stood by the belief that the concept of a uniform removed his favourite form of creative expression, as he himself was a rabid lover of fashion.

Jason was securing his locks in a loose bun when Matt returned to the room, having just performed a brief evening prayer to close the week in spiritual manner. Matt had of course forgot about the plans he had agreed to, prepared to sleep through the weekend and recharge, quite looking forward the simple arrangements. “Someone finally turned up,” Jason announced, “the rest of them are waiting, I told them to not start without us, but I doubt that’s happening.”

“What - oh!” Matt soon recalled, completely regretting even going along the idea in the first place, quickly trying to talk himself out of the miserable gathering, “I completely forgot, you go, I’m sure nobody will mind me not being there.”

“Oh you’re not getting out of this that easily,” Jason teased, piling an abundance of black cloth into the smaller ones arms, “put these on, I know you won’t have anything other than church shoes and ties and shit, these might be a bit big but they should fit.” Matt stared down at the outfit, which was borderline identical to the other boys, the only difference being the shade of Jean.

“I’m really not sure about this Jason…”

“Oh shut it or I’ll get Courtney to slap you one,” Jason taunted, shooing Matt off to change. During their short week together, Jason had learnt that his roommate was less of an exhibitionist than he was - while Jason stripped off and performed nude burlesque routines without a care, Matt always preferred to change in the more reserved bathroom. This was a brief annoyance to Jason, as it removed the opportunity to check out Matt unapologetically, that being his favourite pastime after all.

When Matt returned Jason quite enjoyed the sight of his clothes hanging against the other’s figure, giving him an unexpected rush of pride, before his eyes focused on the added accessorise to his attire, “is that a bloody nose ring?”

“Don’t even mention it,” Matt warned, “I usually wear my clear one but I just dropped it down the sink cause I’m an absolute mess, this is the only other one I could find.” Matt pierced his septum many years ago, believing it to an attractive and unique addition to his face, though his parents obviously did not agree and it had been hidden ever since, never having the heart to let it heal up - this was one of the first times he showed off his pierced skin since he had it originally.

“It suits you,” Jason told the other, tugging teasingly at the detailed ring of metal, noticing Matt blush and smirking in triumph, “I actually find it rather endearing.” His eyes focused on his roommates lips for brief moment, before catching himself and distancing his body away from Matt’s, just then realising how close the pairing were standing.

“As much as you just want to stare at my septum ring all night, we’re keeping them waiting,” Matt called him out, taking his turn to watch the fellow one grow red. Don’t get him wrong, Matt still didn’t want to leave, but believed the sooner they got there the sooner they’d leave. Jason merely muttered some form of agreement and perched the window open, guiding the more innocent individual in ‘How To Sneak Out 101’. After they had successfully scurried down the fire duct, the two walked in a peaceful silence, every so often purposefully bumping shoulders and grinning at each other playfully.

“Look at you two twinning it up,” Adore announced the pairs arrival, obviously already somewhat intoxicated, getting up to give them both a hug and stain their cheeks with purple lipstick. Matt first noticed Katya, who was flailing as if possessed on the floor, cackling manically and smacking a strangers thigh - Matt took this to be Willam, the curly hair being an indicator, who was also snorting in a wild fashion. He focused next on the second stranger in their midst, a more flamboyant boy drinking rosé out of a wine glass, pinky raised for added effect. Adore soon introduced everyone, confirming Willam’s identity, and revealing the new boy to be Justin.

“What you wanting?” Willam thrust forward the famous litre bottle of vodka - which was no longer a litre full - and a bottle of wine towards the newcomers of the group.

“Vodka.” Jason immediately replied, taking grasp of the bottle and sprinting over to Adore, Matt instantly feeling somewhat dejected.

“I guess I’ll have wine,” Matt answered, planning on only having a single glass; enough to remain socially acceptable, though a quantity he knew wouldn’t make him act a fool.

Justin handed him a glass, which he gracefully accepted. “I brought these from my personal collection, I’m a classy woman like that,” the boy explained, earning a genuine laugh from Matt, taking note to ensure the table wear did not get damaged if Justin thought so highly of his belongings. Liquor soon occupied his glass, which he connected with Justin’s before taking a sip, letting the warm sensation send goosebumps through his entire body.

This would be a good time to point out that Matt hadn’t had a lot to eat that day, missing out on lunch as he didn’t wish not sit alone, and dropping the majority of his dinner after a mortifying fall earlier that night, Jason wouldn’t let him forget that one. So skip to two glasses of wine and a few too many shots later, the boy wasn’t in the best state. He, Justin and Katya had just finished performing a rendition of Single Ladies (Justin insisting on being the Beyoncé of the trio), resulting in a bellowing round of applause from their impressive crowd of three. At one point Jason had placed a dollar down Matt’s trousers, which he was only just fishing out.

“Want your dollar back? Think you need it more than I do,” Matt asked, placing himself next to his roommate, as the rest bantered among themselves.

“You Bitch,” Jason responded, shoving Matt jovially, “keep it, buy yourself something pretty. For once.”

“Says the one who can’t afford jeans that aren’t ripped,” he winked, gesturing at the noticeable holes and tears in both their trousers, the cold biting at the exposed areas on his upper thighs and lower shins. The clothing choice had more skin than material, the polar opposite of Matt’s usual attire.

“It’s for easy access,” Jason’s deadpanned, lowering his hand through a particularly large tear to stroke patterns on Matt’s inner thigh. Matt’s breath haltered, unaware of how to react to the situation, knowing that his judgement was clouded, though also knowing that he didn’t want the tracing of circles cautiously close to his private section to halt. Jason was testing the waters, and after Matt hadn’t taken any steps to stop his wandering hands, he slowly lifted the seam of Matt’s briefs and released it, allowing the material to snap at the other’s skin. This sent a shudder through the boy’s body, one Jason had picked up on, triggering his classic smirk - the very one he suited whenever he got his own way.

Matt, now both conflicted and lustful, looked up at the fair-skinned boy through his lashes, sending a glare that read 'I am remarkably aroused and if you do not stop messing with me right now I’m gonna get a stiffy’, though made no physical effort to stop the happenings. This only boost the other’s confidence and desire to continue his relentless teasing.

“What you gonna do about it,” Jason mouthed, to avoid his distracted peers from overhearing their private affair, before sticking his tongue out pinching roughly down on Matt’s thigh. Matt responded by slowly removing the lingering hand, resulting in a rather sullen Jason, that was not what I meant by do something about it.

“Hey guys, I’m not feeling too good, we’re gonna call it a night,” Matt announced, now that is what he meant by doing something about it. Jason had never jumped up faster, quickly bidding farewell to the foursome of drunks, with the generic sign off of 'party’ from Adore. Matt was already strolling ahead of him by the time he was racing after, both seeping with tension by the time they scaled the fire duct and slipped through the propped open window.

The pair merely stared at each other for a minute moment, unsure of what was about to occur, before both of Jason’s hands were pinned against the wall, Matt’s body flush against his own. “We’re you having fun back there,” he ground his hips against Jason’s, causing an unexpected groan to sound from the back of the boy’s throat, “teasing me,” another roll of the hips made Jason thankful he was being suspended by Matt’s stern grip, “in front of all our friends?” With only final gyration Jason released a broken moan, anticipating the pleasurable pressure on his groin to continue, weeping in protest when it cut short. Matt merely stared down at Jason, he had never seen his roommate’s rebellious persona drop, and was truly appreciating the power shift that led to him witnessing such a vulnerable state.

“I would’ve teased you all damn night if I knew it would get you riled up like this,” Jason replied, voice - despite being gruff - remained quiet and sensual. He attempted to move his body to reinitiate their previous actions, though remained restricted and appeared defeated. Now it was Matt’s turn to smirk, with their previous power play completely reversed he now had control. After gloating in the moment for some time, the boy leant down and captured Jason’s lips with his own, allowing the two of them to work in sync in frantic movements.

Jason, growing bored of the PG-13 make out session, bit down with great pressure on Matt’s lip, resulting in his arms being released out of shock. He took advantage of this moment and threw Matt onto his own bed, straddling the boy before he had time to react. He knew the twosome wouldn’t remember exactly what had occurred by the time the sun rose, so he worked on leaving a prominent reminder in shape of a purple bruise on Matt’s neck. Matt bit back a moan as Jason payed attention to a sweet spot just above his collar bone, the biting and kissing blurring his senses, not considering what remnants would remain. Jason took a second to sit back and appreciate his piece of artwork, before continue to trail frail butterfly kisses up the other’s neck, to his jawline, and eventually reaching Matt’s lips.

A cold hand slipped underneath Jason’s hoodie, he responded by stripping the item off completely, allowing Matt to take in the creamy skin and gentle v-lines, tracing them softly with his finger tips. His own shirt was soon carelessly discarded, Jason admired Matt’s toned abdomen, before working his fingers on the boy’s belt buckle. Matt raised his hips to allow his jeans to easily fall down and be kicked off, leaving himself laid beneath the other in nothing but a pair of briefs, that were fitting particularly tight at this moment in time.

“Someone’s excited,” Jason quipped against Matt’s ear, palming him through the thin piece of material.

“I’m not the only one,” Matt echoed back, dipping into Jason’s boxers and taking hold of his erect member, pumping gently as Jason bit into his bare shoulder to hold back his sounds of pleasure.

Jason, in attempt to regain a dominant position in their encounter, travelled down Matt’s torso, leaving a west trail of kisses to mark his path. “Woah,” Jason breathed, impressed at what he witnessed when removing his partner’s underwear.

“Like what you see?” Matt asked cockily, pardon the pun, watching as Jason’s eyes bulged as his shaft sprung upwards. Instead of responding, he merely took Matt’s tip into his mouth, dancing his tongue skilfully against the sensitive skin. The new sensation overwhelmed Matt, as he gripped at the sheets as he failed at suppressing an earthy moan. Jason - pleased with the reaction he had catalysed - continued his actions, hallowing his cheeks taking the majority of the member in his mouth, until the tip was brushing the back of his throat. “Fuck Jason,” Matt griped, which only motivated the other boy, his name being said aloud filling him with an odd sense of pride and determination. Matt decided to grasp onto Jason’s hair, releasing the locks from the tight bun, and taking a rough hold. He used his grip to push the boy to completely engulf his manhood, resulting in a spluttering Jason, who was determined to manage the deep throat with pride. Jason allowed himself to be ruthlessly taken until a creamy substance shot into the back of his throat, he took point to make eye contact with Matt as he prominently swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing as the action took place. Both treasured the moment for a second, regaining their breath, hearts palpitating rapidly.

“Who knew you were such a kinky bitch,” Jason exhaled, cheekily staring up at Matt, who was only just getting over his orgasm.

“Still think you need a little help here though,” Matt jeered, flipping the paring over, Jason honestly astounded by his stamina, as Matt’s head lowered and Jason’s eyes closed in content.

***

Katya had already returned to her room, claiming fatigue, leaving Adore to try and stumble back to the dorm alone - key word: try. She had taken a wrong turn at some point, now wandering the hallways in an intoxicated state, attempting to make her way (and failing). Her heeled boots clinked against the flooring, sound rebounding through the corridors, making her presence extremely known.

“Ma'am, it is way past curfew you need to get to your room,” Adore snapped her head towards the voice, swaying gently in the spot and beaming at her new companion, “Adore?”

“Royyyyy!” The mermaid drew out, giggling childishly at her maths teacher, who has been adorned the tedious task of manning the halls that night, unaware of the tomfoolery he would have to deal with. “I have a question about the assignment,” she supported herself against his body, flinging her arms around the smaller male and leaning her entire weight on him, Roy nearly falling at the new pressure.

“Are you drunk? Oh my gosh Adore you will be kicked out if Courtney sees you like this,” he worried. Yes, he did appreciate Adore’s company, her always making his maths classes more humorous with silly quips and antics, and didn’t want to see the younger girl get into any trouble. “You need to get you back you your room.”

“I can’t find it Roy! I keep getting lost! Maybe you should take me there,” she stumbled over her words, placing a dorm key clumsily in the male’s hand, convincing the individual with large puppy dog eyes.

“I will Adore, but you can’t say anything to anyone, okay? I could get in trouble for not ratting you out.”

“Okay!” Her green hair swayed as she jumped up and down with glee, leaving a large purple mark on his cheek as a sign of gratitude, causing Roy the smile sheepishly out of embarrassment. He rested his hand on the girl’s lower back, carefully guiding her to avoid any accidental falls, allowing her to rest against his frame. They made gentle small talk that entertained Roy, Adore seeming to have even less of a filter when drunk:

“Ganja, that girl who sits next to me, drives me absolutely nuts, you should move her.”

“I want to stick my finger in your dimple.”

“You know I won’t hand the next homework in on time so you shouldn’t even be surprised on Monday.”

“You’re so short it’s adorable. I can put my head on your head, see! Like a totem!”

“How old are you even? Like I know you’re old, I don’t have a problem with it by the way, but how old?”

“I’ll move her, don’t, I won’t be, get off my head, much too old to be entertaining you, anything else?” Roy answered, careful to not come across as annoyed, he most certainly was not, though wanted to quieten the younger individual to avoid her undergoing Courtney’s wrath.

“Can we have a pizza day? With actual edible food?” Adore added without hesitation, huge smile occupying her face, one that made Roy blush unexplainably.

“I wish. Anyway here we are, now Adore I don’t want anything like this to happen again, do you understand?” Roy questioned, unlocking the dorm door and handing her back the key.

“Of course Mr.Roy, see you on Monday!” She exclaimed, pecking him gently on the lips without a thought and swaying into her room, disturbing a sleeping Katya who began to groan. The Russian cursing did not phase Roy, what bothered him is that the intoxicated girl had placed her lips upon his own - an action she probably wouldn’t remember in the morning - and it made his heart race more than it should. He cursed himself, turning around and trying to forget the interaction ever took place, a harder task than he anticipated.

#pearlet #biadore #trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #bianca del rio #adore delano #pearl liaison #violet chachki #au #smut #sinning never felt so good #katyasbingowings #rpdr fanfiction #submission #m/m au #m/f au #student/teacher

[doodoodloo]

How do you live life, Freya? How do you squash the hopeles negative feelings when they creep up?

Hi,gosh! Such a big question! Thanks for asking ~

 Ihad to really reflect on this in order to find words for such a complex andopen-ended question. Like, how do Ilive life?

Iguess I can’t really explain how I live life now without reference to anearlier process of growth and reflection. My ‘state of being’ if you will beganwith the early teenage desire to arrive at a place /version of myself that feltcomfortable. At that time elements of my life were somewhat out of my control,for example my home life, my school situation and to some extent my socialcircle, so in order to figure out if experiences suited the version of myself Iwanted to be, I would just ask myself in new situations Do I like this?

I have a side of myself that is very stubborn, and another side that is very freeand curious, so usually I would try something (not if I had been pressuredthough, only if I had decided in the moment that I wanted to try it) and thenafterwards I would decide if it was for me. My curiosity would be satisfied,and my stubbornness would then categorise the experience into a yes or no file.It sounds very straightforward but it was of course much more subtle than that.I’ve always had a very strong core from where a ‘yes or no’ arises from. Iremember in early childhood being put into situations that I didn’t like andfeeling this all encompassing ‘NO’ rise in me, but I didn’t have the words orauthority to tap out. The adults in my life that knew me back then still jokeabout my tantrums, where my body would stiffen into an embodied state ofrefusal. In this process of discovery my stubbornness was extremely useful Ithink, and saved me from some of the pain others experience in teenagehood,since I was never swayed by peer pressure. At some point though that traitserves it’s purpose and needs to be loosened a little, I think.

 Ican imagine for people with a quiet or as of yet undeveloped intuitive ‘yes orno’ voice it means that choosing what you want in your life and what you don’t isa bit more challenging. I mean, you don’t always need to know what you aregoing to become, but I think most people have a secret or not so secret imageof the best version of themselves in mind. That version is 100% accessible, andyou should have the intention of becoming her, and giving yourself permissionto become her. If that seems all vaguey-vague, why not make a list of literalthings you want (and know you will) be. For example, I want to be 1) Centred instressful situations 2) Generous but not to the extent that people takeadvantage of me 3) Non judgemental but have boundaries with people that don’tsuit the vibe I want in my life 4) In touch with my emotions but not undertheir control etc etc. Coaching language seems to always use words like goals, reaching for, aiming for but thatkind of bothers me because it suggests that this higher you is outside ofyourself, if only you would dislocate your shoulder to reach for her! Whenactually it is a slow unfolding of the petals of your truest self blossomingoutwards, calling on what was already there, laying patient and dormant untilyou asked for it to wake up. That’s how I see it, anyway.

 Atsome point I arrived at a place where I felt comfy and incredibly safe with whoI had become, and realised that it was a foundation that if maintained, wouldkeep me happy…maybe for the rest of my life? Honestly that experience is kindof hard to explain since it involved a week long series of aligned coincidencesand then some weird esoteric things like maybe an angel and some dreams, Idon’t really have words. But it could be said that something ‘clicked’ andsince then (three years ago) I’ve been ‘ok’ every day.

 Aftera lil while it became clear that maintaining that level of ok-ness came withthe need for a lot of intention and boundaries. Those words are relatively newto my vocab but explain everything I’d never had words for before. I think thatwhen you arrive at a place that feels good, it also leaves you very vulnerable.And supposing that you arrived there by discerning what did and didn’t feelright for you, you can become very sensitive to vibes and atmospheres andenergies, from both locations and people, and the things that you said ‘no’ toa while back act as triggers that can feel like a real threat to your safeplace. So from within my being I birthed a jewel that is my truest self that isalways improving ~ how do I keep it safe?! Or as you put it, how do you squashthe hopeless negative feelings when they creep up?

 WhatI would have previously called a bubble I’ve heard others call boundaries, or acontainer. The word ‘boundaries’ works well for me, so I’m going to use thatfrom now on. You can imagine your boundaries as a space around your physicalbeing which deters all that is not right for you, and you get to choose whichenergies move through that wall. Boundaries could also be a code of morals thatyou adhere to, and do not cross yourself, or let others cross in your presence(I mean, they can do whatever the heck they want, but you can maybe tell themthat they have crossed your boundary, that behaviour doesn’t suit you etc. Ithink most reasonable people will respect another’s boundaries once you make itclear why it’s not ok with you. Remember to listen to them also, since theywill have some also!). I think of boundaries in two sorts of forms. Like oneversion is more inclined to ‘avoid’ situations. For example, I do not want tosupport fast fashion, cheap labour, environmentally toxic brands or largecorporations. I also do not like bright lights, loud music or air conditioning.Those are some boundaries. Sounds really picky-choosey, but my intuition says‘no’ when I think about them. So a boundary of mine is that when it is in mycontrol, I will not go to a shopping mall pretty much ever.

 Supposeit is a little less out of my control though, and my family needs to stop atK-mart on the way to the beach on a family holiday to buy my bro some flipflops and I don’t want to make a scene like I would have when I was a kid. Inthis situation I do my best to strengthen a different sort of boundary where Icreate an circle of intention around myself like an invisible protective shieldmuch like the protective shield over Hogwarts when Voldy and the dementors ndeath eaters are coming to get Harry in the last book! In my opinion this formof boundary is much stronger and more useful overall, since you can’tperpetually avoid all situations with annoying people or negative vibes. Thisboundary says ‘I will not be swayed by others emotions, I will not let thesethings ‘get’ to me (like literally, they will not get through my shield), Iwill leave this situation as clean and whole as when I entered it’. I believe thatif this sort of power is developed there are huge rewards. Like a master ofthis could probably accept the neg vibes through the shield, transform it andthrow it back in the other persons face in the form of love.

 I’mbeing kind of bias towards external negativity rather than negative feelingsthat arise from within, as you asked ~ sorry. Those feelings are probablyrelated to self worth and fear. When those doubty, sad feelings arise for me, Istare them in the face and ask where they have come from, and go as far back tothe root as I can. Then I try to fix them from the ground up. If youacknowledge that there is both dark and light in the universe, and that you arejust visiting the dark for a while, with intention of returning to the light,negative feelings and emotions become less scary. I don’t think there is anyshame in exploring darkness, but don’t make it your default hangout spot! Like,I’d encourage you to go on a little field trip into fear and see what you find.Pack a light lunch and come home to the light when you’re ready.

                                                     OkI just realised that I have written you a literal 1500 word essay so I’m goingto sign off. Just a quick disclosure: I don’t really have any authority overthese topics other than my own experience. I feel a connection to what might besome universal truths that have found me, but I can’t confirm which are true ornot, so I just speak from a place that feels right.  Just as you asked how I live my life ~ I justlive from a place of feeling ‘right’. My actions flow from that place throughactive choice. You got the power to design your reality ~ have fun!

Muchlove, Freya Xo

#advice

[themillennialjunkiediaries]

Alright internet where no one rly listens to my annoying ass, I'm gonna have a talk with myself in public. Which really, isn't all that shocking because I've been talking to myself the entire time I've been alone because I'm sooooo spun. Plus this blog is like 40% a journal for me to talk about the things going on in my life. Also, don't even waste your time reading this shit, I just needed a big ass vent session abt life.

I'll start with the bad so I can end on a high note.

After days of being ignored by fp I finally split. I messaged him tonight, not even wanting his attention but I lost my fav nail polish and asked him if he could please look in his truck because it was pretty expensive and also my fav. He ignored me. So fuck him and especially fuck him for fucking with my feelings when he knows how fragile I am. My current task of self improvement is understanding and accepting that no one owes me anything including explaining why they leave me. I won't ask for that. I'm not going to block/delete him either, though. I've known him 16 years and if he needs me I'll be there for all the emotional support, I just won't see him anymore.

I'm officially down to my last $60 until I can manage to secure a job but I want to have the holidays with my family and don't want to start until Jan 2. This is a problem because I have habits to support and no way to do so without said job. I imagine I'll make something happen between now and then because I always do. Oh the life of an addict always finding a way to get high.

I'm skeptical about serving and the fast paced, super demanding, extremely socially interactive, and oh so loud environment I'll be in. It is going to stress me the fuck out and give my anxiety a hell of a time. However, being right off a huge interstate and the restaurant I hope to get on at means the tips will always be good. When a friend was going to start there she was promised $50 for a 4-5 hour shift during the slow times when she first started. Plus they don't pee test, always a huge bonus for me because getting pee or buying synthetic is a real pain.

One of my best (but god awful slow) plugs really stressed me tonight. I'm glad I finally scored and am in a positive mental space again, ready to face the split with fp and all the other things I have going on. But my girl, after taking a long ass time which didn't bother me today because I had things to do, we get to her place at about the same time and we smoked almost immediately. Then we did a few hot rails. And that's when the stress started. She gets loud and yells a lot, a trigger for me (she is unaware). Her temper is bad and when she goes off she just keeps on going. Usually it's just talking in circles and for the longest time I've been hanging with her and using her to score, it didn't feel directed at me but the last few times I've seen her it's felt like she's got me in the scope now too. So she's going all the way off and I'm constantly apologizing, trying to fix it, and calm her down because I'm so triggered and trying not to show it but she doesn't so I ended up leaving after the second time she tore into me and a friend. I felt bad but I needed to for my own mental health.

It hit me earlier today that I've had three people in the last week cut from my life if not completely then for the most part and all of them I've known for years. Fp a friend of 16 years, another friend of 13 yrs and highschool crush, and a friend of about 4 years. I know my mental state has been off lately but it doesn't do much for a girls self esteem when friends start dropping like flies. I know I haven't done anything wrong but it feels like I have because why else would this have happened?

Since I've been known to be a negative person I'm sure I could go on but that's the shit currently on my mind and plate.

Now for the good & happy things!

I finally got my nails painted! It wasn't my fav color and I even went to the store but they were out of the color I wanted so I got a couple others. I had to take the first color I did off because the clear coat was somehow motherfucking bubbly and my brain wasn't allowing that but when I'm done here I'm going to do them a nice turquoise that I love!

I was able to get spuuuuuuuun! Despite all the things with my plug, I really had a pretty damn good night. Usually I don't sniff Tina because of the burn, but I even hit a few lines after smoking and taking a couple hot rails. I took a line of a perc too but downers and opiates aren't really my thing.

I left ol girl's still spun despite her being a Betty Buzzkill and took a guy I met at her place a couple weeks ago down the road then when I was going to drop him off, we sat in the car and talked for a while. After idk 45 minutes we went inside his house because it was good conversation and I wasn't really ready to leave. He's 9 years older than I am but we had similar views and thoughts on a lot of things and I'm pretty sure we both enjoyed that 2 hour+ conversation we had. I may have a new pal and even a possible work hookup for my uncle so he's not home all the time annoying me lmao.

This one I'm not entirely sure it's good because my logical self is telling bpd self to fucking stop BUT it feels good so I'm putting it there. I met a guy through a mutual friend a while back and we have really connected with each other. He and I have a GREAT banter, I love talking to him and we never run out of shit to talk about. Tonight I realized that even before previous fp dipped, he was starting to give Devin some competetion. Of course, he has things to work on but who doesn't? I saw him this evening and we went for a drive, railed down a few lines, then blew some clouds talking the whole time. Idk what prompted him to tell me he wanted to kiss me but he said it and I let him. It could've been the ice or him being a lil tipsy, but his kisses felt so genuine. It's been a while since I was kissed like someone was absolutely amazed by me and it's making me giddy. There are important parts I'm leaving out rn but this covers the main frame since I hadn't mentioned him until tonight. I just need to be sure I control myself and don't rush into obsession and I'll do my best to remind myself so the bpd isn't gasoline on the flame. I do see him tomorrow though. He owes me $20 I fronted him and he told me to go to where he works which is within walking distance of my house in the afternoon so he can pay me and we will hang out in his camper he keeps parked at his boss' house.

Later this morning I plan to clean my room because I definitely have been slacking on that. It's so funny everyone thinks all tweakers keep a spotless house but that's not true. A lot of us will sit in the same place for hours doing the dumbest shit you ever saw. I'm one of them but my depression also plays a part because I never feel like cleaning. Laundry needs done though and the room is just cluttered. I'd like to invite people over but with this much crap everywhere that's not possible.

All in all, after such a downer of a week, things are feeling more up and I'm finding motivation to do more. Maybe I'll even start therapy again after the new year. Maybe not, but we can see.

#jesus christ ari shut up lmao #long post

[krayns]

All :p

THANKS A! okay ill skip the ones M already asked me!

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? 

LOLOL, well it was the GC so I would say hey bitches wus good. ACTUALLY. I’D BE LIKE YALL CAN LOOK BUT CANT TOUCH CAUSE YALL BITCHES BE GETTING THE WRONG IDEA, and told yall bout a good million times Im just not interested. Pls take a hint.

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

WELL. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, bc he was a lowlife scrub who I do not need in my life at all. Blocked & erased my history 

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? 

UM…. yes bc I would care about my partner and would want the best for them……. so I wouldnt want them on drugs 24/7

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? 

OMG its exactly 6 letter BISH.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? YA GIRL WAS DRUNNNNK IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE 

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

OMG NO. Im never the one to mess it up SMH, im the one left to clean up the mess SMFH 

7. What does your last received text say? “Or nahhh” 

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? 

LMFAO what kind of question. YALL REALLY THINK I SIT THERE AND COUNT EVERYTIME I KISSED MY MAN LIKE LOL?????????  Lets just say I kissed him WAY too many times than he deserved. (V many times tho bc who doesn’t love a good smooch)

9. Where was your last kiss at? 

BRUH. my ex mans house OK NEXT 

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? 

well I have 2, and a few hours ago before they both went to sleep bc they youngins. 

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Ya girl likes her steaming hot cup of TEA in the morning. Gotta have my daily tea. 

12. Where did you sleep last night? 

My mans crib ;) why you care tho?

13. Do you think relationships are hard? LOL. They’re hard if you make em hard. And if you’re partner is stressin you then hell yeah. But I mean no relationship is perfect. Its all about working through those hard times and that honestly makes the relationship stronger. 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? 

YES. I would’ve left the trash ass ugly piece of garbage that treated me like shit and used the hell out of me, before I got super attached to him and let him walk all over me. DEFS wish I could’ve left his fuck boy ass long time ago, shouldn’t have let things lasted as long as they did.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO. bruh. YOU ARE ASKING FOR A WORLD WAR 3. im crying could you imagine. OH he would be shook. That or he would have the best sex of his life lbr. 

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Sunny when I gotta go out, Rainy when I’m inside/ at night. BC YA GIRL HATES GOING OUT IN THE RAIN. Womans are not tryna look like a wet cat. 

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? 

Actually yes quite a few, people I knew from school, also I think Selena Gomez? My middle name is kinda basic.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

None of the above ;) 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

PART OF ME: I REALLY HOPE SO bc ya girl a hopeless romantic 

OTHER PART OF ME: HONESTLY IDEK BC MANS ARE SO WHACK THESE DAYS, HARD TO FIND A QUALITY QT, and honestly im doing me these days like mans can wait BYE 

20. Does anyone like you?

Jesus! My boy JC. Dont know if anyone else likes me bc like I clearly can’t read minds so?

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Besides family, no one else is ringing a bell

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? 

Nope

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Currently: My EX, Alicia from AYTO (tv show) (snake ass bitch), 

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yessss many times. Like theres so many ideas I have. I would probs get one like on my side, back, lower waist, or behind my ear? Either something cute or something with meaning.

25. In the past week have you cried? 

Yes I think I had a moment the other day.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? 

A cockerspaniel. 

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Depends on my mood. I really like showers tho, preferably with my man 

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Not yet ;)

29. Do you think you’re old?

Honestly sometimes I feel old asf

30. Do you like text messaging? 

TBH not really. I prefer having that face to face, talking through text is too much miscommunication. 

31. What type of day are you having? 

A swell day, kinda was in my feels earlier but ya girl got it together. 

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

YASSSS. I’ve wanted one for a while, but now I’m like do I want one that bad? It would be cute af THO

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

WARM WARM WARM. No ones tryna freeze their ass off. Ya girls an Island baby 

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Jesus Christ. 

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

RELATIONSHIPS, FUCK FLINGS ARE JUST NOT FOR ME. I am not meant for that fling life 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Im quite wild tbh when you get to know me

37. What song are you listening to? 

Currently: Straight Up & Down by Bruno Mars 

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 

Hellllll YEAH 

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? 

Yes, I’d say my Moms, Ash, Rach or my sister Tia

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

OK. WELL…………………………………… dont ask me bout this rn im confused. But I kinda also have feelings for my ex ex man who wasnt really my man but still he is literally like my ideal man and ive been seeing him a few times and im triggered UGH my first uni LOVE FML fuck he has me WEAK ASF

41. When did you last receive a text message? 

A second ago: so 1:55 AM 

42. What is wrong with you right now?

NOT A GAWD DAMN THING BISH. 

no but real talk school out here draining me. ALSO IM V CONFUSED BOUT STUFF. 

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

YO thats my girl. RIDE OR DIE since 7th grade. I know her like the back of my hand and likewise for me. 

44. Does anyone disgust you? 

HAAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA, you already fucking know the answer. TRASH ASS EX MAN. Also fuck boys just disgust and erk my soul in general. 

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Depends on who’s asking 😏 but hey if I like you, you cute, nice, funny, LOYAL, determined I mean I would probs say yes. ALONG WITH MY OTHER WANTS: smells good, good style, nice hair, kind, TALLLLLL, athletic, 

But hey I mean he don’t have to fit all these categories, im just being extra here 

46. Are you in a good mood right now? 

Currently Yes :D

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

My mom

48. What color shirt are you wearing? 

Not wearing a shirt oooooooops 😳

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? 

YUP. dont wanna repeat bc it was honestly the DOUCHIEST thing I’ve ever heard in my life and it makes me sick to my stomach that this literally came out of a mans PIE HOLE. i cant. 

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Already gave up on em. LIKE UP OUT OF MY LIFE. blocked and erased that history 

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Not really my ex ex man I still kinda like. BC my ex man was not the one that a fell hardest for so nah. IF IT WAS HIM THEN I WOULD. 

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

ummmmm noooo????

53. Do you like rain? 

Only when I’m inside, or about to sleep. That Netflix and cuddles possible chill typa weather ya feel 

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Nope, unless the liqs turns them into a monster then yes I would care. 

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL😳😳😳 HONEST TO GOD IM EITHER STRAIGHT UP OR SO LOWKEY. Like im TOO GOOD AT THIS. I could be crushin so hard on someone and they would never know bc im too good at hiding it.

56. Do you like to cuddle? 

YES LOOOOOOOOOVE. your girl likes her doses of cuddles. BABS like getting cuddled too ): 

57. Are you shy? 

LOL HONEST YES. IM SO SHY AROUND CUTE BOYS OR LIKE PEOPLE I DONT KNOW. But once I get comfortable with you whoever you are im defs not. YA GIRL WILD AF

58. Do you get along with girls?YASSSSSSSS girl power bitch. LOVE MY GIRLS. Love hyping and empowering up my girls. 

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

YEA SHE MY BAE :* 

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

STRESS. LOL jks but omg phone, lipgloss (bc you never know if you eva gonna kiss a QT), the normals 

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

UM. NO!!!! TF! ARE YOU WHACK. NEVER WOULD YOU EVER CATCH ME IN A JUMBIE INFESTED PLACE. NAH NAH

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

YES. OBVI. I’m that long term typa gyal ;) Im that ride or die typa girl

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? 

LOOOOL. Lets not think back to that time, I already ctrl alt and DELETE. BOI BYE 

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

um YES. stop. putting. me. in. my feelS. But lets just say it wouldn’t just end with a kiss on the forehead ;) 

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? 

Well im cute so……….. everyday something cute happens aka ME :)

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

21, and the rest were family SO LOL 

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?   

honestly i can do my own nails, but its nice to treat your self

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? 

ZEBRA, your girl is a zebra print stan, my whole room is practically this print 

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? 

i dont own a car, but the car I drive has a “princess on board sticker” which is for my little sister but HEY its suitable for me too so 

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

Lil Wayne… not about that country/ tim buck two. But tbh I dont listen to either of em 

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?  

IPHONE 6 GANGGGGGGGGG

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

Maybe like last year? Usually get pizza pizza

73. Do you like diet soda?   

NAH, diet taste kinda weird 

74. What color are the walls in your room?    

Its like an olive green, but I want to re paint, maybe a shade of pink 

75. Are you 16 or older?    

older…. why you tryna holla?

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?  

I did…. show got mad boring tho. 

77. Do you have a job?   

Not currently, in school tho

78. What are your initials?   

K.M.B BITCHHHHHHHEEEZ

79. Did you ever have braces? 

nope, but the dentist always ask me if i had braces and always say how nice my teeth are :D

80. Are you from the south?  

NAH NAH, IM NORTH JAX FAM

81. What does your last status on facebook say?  

um???? I think I promo’ed Ash’s travel VLOG, check that shit out tho!!!!!!!

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? 

CRTL.ALT.DELTE. 

NO BISH

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? 

I would say my dad bc I grew up with him? but i tell my mom and step mom more personal stuff/ everything so

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? 

I think it was suicide squad.

86. Do you smoke?    

Nah, not on those greens fam

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?  

DEPENDS. On location and look. 

88. Is your phone touch screen?    

YUP

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? 

Well my hair is wavy and I usually just leave it natural. I love straightening my hair but takes way too much strength and energy out of me.

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?  LMFAO YES. TO GO TO SLEEPOVER AT ONE OF MY MANS HOUSE IM CRYING @GOD forgive me father 

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? 

DEFS POOL OR OCEAN LOL BOUT LAKE OR RIVER BYE 

94. Are you single or in a relationship?   

Doing me. Living life. Doing whatever the hell I want. I am happy and thats all that matters. Not letting mans bring me down, have me stressing, crying myself to sleep, or crying until i have no more tears to cry

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?  

Texting my squad in the GC, talking about waste mans 

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?  

Fireworks in my heart: probably in the summer on my first date with trash 

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?   

YES bc I stay taking cute pics, im obsessed with taking fire pics

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

NOPE. Always know my limit

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Hate is a v strong word. I think if anyone I really disliked I’ve removed, I may have some fakes from like HS but thats about it.

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:   PROBABLY TICK TOK, YO MY GRADE 7 ASS WOULD WHINE UP TO THIS SONG, MAJOR TRACK 

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?  noPE, but honestly i wish I did bc I wanna go somewhere warm