#i know we do not like gay tragedies | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

#i know we do not like gay tragedies

tschulijulesjulie · 2 years

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(apparently) unpopular opinion: both DWD and MP were incredibly good. which just proves me further, that Harry's fandom is just an incredibly toxic and hateful place (and I do not know why tbh)

#like these movies were so good #dwd #i hate how all that alleged bts drama overshadowed the movie #and for what?!#because Harry apparently is dating someone and people dont like it?!#like can we talk about this movie instead?!#the message?#how well made it was?#Flos INCREDIBLE performance #the cinematography #my policeman #i know we do not like gay tragedies #but they do have their place ESPECIALLY when theyre told by queer people themselves (as it is the case with mp)

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rotisseries · 10 months

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everyone debates about elmike like oh they're the best of friends no they would never hang out on their own they don't even know each other, when the true answer, much like everything else about them, is that there is so so much and also nothing at all

#they're like siblings. not like. freakishly sweet siblings but like. normal siblings you know?#like a sibling is the most distant person you're ever close to. the most intimate stranger #we aren't in each other's lives by choice and if we could choose we probably still wouldn't choose each other #but also I absolutely can't live without you #I would confide my deepest fears and wants and secrets to you and you find that same confidante in me #but we never talk to each other about our interests and we don't care to hear about them either #everything about elmike is just so. everything and nothing #I love you enough I'd die for you and I don't know a thing about you #you're such an inescapable part of me but we're not even friends #like a blank wall in an otherwise filled bedroom #even though you make up a part of the structure of one of the most intimate spaces in my life there's still nothing of me there #like. do you get it. actually does this make any sense. I think I'm just saying shit #alright wrap it up guys everyone go home this post is actually just nonsense maybe #this is actually about how I view elmike in general though like they're everything and nothing they're so interesting and also so boring #like it's about the insaness of the fact they love each other that much they truly do albeit not romantically #but they don't KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT EACH OTHER. THEY'D DIE FOR EACH OTHER THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHERR #THAT'S THE TRAGEDY. THAT'S THE FUCK OF IT ALL #but also at the same time it's so boring because actually it's just every other bad middle school relationship #where you both haven't realized you're gay yet #so. elmike. everything and nothing #stranger things #el hopper #mike wheeler #elmike

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frostwork · 10 months

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HSR patch 1.2

Almost 1000 year old gay dude: I miss my wife tails, I miss him a lot.

20 odd year old library nerd who looks exactly like the gay dude’s dead wife: I just work here man…

Mutual ex-friend who went insane: I am going to kill you, hit you, or hurt you in some way.

#playing honkai star rail #honkai star rail #frostpost #jing yuan embodied that fb post with the old person and the dog #do you remember how we used to run?#and dan heng is like no #your past incarnation commiting a terrible sin to hang with his homie forever #and no no one is having a good time #but i cant get over dan hengs constant im not him please im just here for my friends #which is just his girlfriend their boyfriend and their chaperone father figure #and jing yuans like yeah i know until he like forgets himself because they do look so similar #and blades busy being veeeery normal about everything #sorry the killing blow for me is always gay tragedy so im gonna be even normaler about my man now

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ria-the-camel · 2 years

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At this point, if it's unreversable, i kinda just need imogen to acknowledge what laudna meant to her, i feel like laura was headed that direction but she should absolutely be free to eventually pick another character for imogen to develop stronger feelings.

But it would suck so bad if she doesn't admit to what was happening in her heart before then.

#critical role #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #this absolutely just for me #my broken ass gay heart loves tragedies #but kinda needs confirmations too #like we know pike had a crush on percy but that obviously couldn't lead anywhere #and i do feel kinda cheated by her only confirming off game (i might remember wrong tbh)#maybe caleb i feel less conflicted cos that ball of angst had canonical crushes up the wazoo #also felt weird when marisha said beau's crush on jester was immature cos it surely didn't feel that way!!!#it can be so juicy to just live and roleplay an unrequited love and it doesn't have to be diminuished or ignored if it turns impossible #crit role #absolute ramblings in this one

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nopeferatu · 1 year

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i always feel so alienated when i see ppl talk abt the overrepresentation of tragedies within queer media and stuff bc while i do understand where ppl are coming from, i just enjoy consuming sad media in general lol so i cant truly relate to the frustration of not getting to see happy things.

and this isnt even me being critical of that argument bc i 100000% understand where it comes from, i 1000000% think its valid, studies have shown that queer people need positive representation to not feel so hopeless for their futures and stuff so like. i get it. i just like sad shit man! and i dont think we should stop having popular sad gay narratives altogether just bc of oversaturation.

i think its a hard convo to have bc we realize how rare the opportunity for mainstream gay media comes about and so i get that people don't want the "uber mainstream gay media" that happens twice a decade to be a tragic sad fest like they all are but i think maybe the answer is. we either need to change hollywood which is basically impossible OR we just like, stop looking to big hollywood studios for representation and start giving our money to independent studios who are making a lot of stories w queer ppl at the helm and stuff. because if we have a lot of different shows and films that involve queer people, then it wont matter if some of them are tragedies, and maybe then we can finally stop throwing groundbreaking queer media of our past under the bus and/or advocating for the death of queer tragedies when there are very much queers out there who love tragedies <- like me.

#the brokeback brainworms led me down some rabbitholes and im like grrrrrrr #me on the outside: youre allowed not to like the media i love bc we all have different tastes #me on the inside: *killing u with my mind*#i also just think the crit can be a little insensitive to the people who do see themselves represented by queer tragedies #like you guys do not know the depth of how much brokeback mountain affected ppl. like you probably have an idea but it runs fucking DEEP #and also i think that seeing young generations shit on queer tragedies of the past is kind of like a man yells at brick wall sit bc #the media already exists and you cant change it and they came out at times that were very different in terms of social acceptance of gays #so like idk. also in general im just a big advocate for trying to meet a piece of media halfway and judge its success based on what it was #trying to do within the context it was created in and like this goes for all movies not just gay movies and i think taking that approach #can make ppl better critics #but also i mean youre allowed to just not wanna get involved w sad media. esp sad gay media. i know a lot of ppl who are rly sensitive to #sad shit and thats totally fine. theres just ppl out there who are sensitive to sad shit in the opposite way in that we love it and it #consumes us and drives us to make changes in our lives for the better and so i would hate to see sad gays go away #in the end the true villain was the hayes code all along #like if they didnt make it a mandatory thing that gay people needed to fucking die in order to be represented at all we wouldnt #be having these conversations and youd let me fuck off to my mountain to get my back broken in a really sad way

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institute-of-planar-shitposts · 2 years

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Hey! Just saw you reblog a post from me, and I was wondering, is Lucretia canonically queer? I know a lot of people ship her and Maureen (I do too), but I didn't think it was said she was one way or the other unless there was a ttazz or tweet I missed?

I've actually been meaning to ask someone this for a while now, but I never remember to actually look it up or ask anyone lol

Honestly? No clue! I see people ship her with Maureen a lot, like you said; I personally love Blupcretia; but I don't think the boys have said anything about it. Which, I mean, fair; they've had a lot going on! Even in the TTAZZs! But I think it's absolutely possible and I like the fanon of her being queer.

#tentatively positive 3 #we don't know so we get to choose :>#also like. the same kinda goes with the rest of the crew tbh? with the exception of taako ofc #and. arguably Merle.#i do like the idea that the entire crew is some flavor of queer #and honestly I also like the idea of Lucretia just being aro!#Lup I consider bi and same with Barry though he is Painfully introverted (mood jdjsjkd)#magnus I see more as straight but flexible sometimes #Davenport I see as aro but has flings sometimes #(I have not actually finished imbalance yet; a tragedy I know but I'm working on it!!; so idk if anything happens There but)#taako ofc is gay and Merle is. Merle #probably pansexual for Merle. and yes that's for the pun JSKSNSNCNSNXKAJBDKF #anyway thanks for the ask gab!#honestly if anyone ever wants to talk about Lucretia I am always down 👀

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arthur-r · 8 months

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also this song is hitting me in the face so bad right now i’m not used to wanting sexual autonomy that’s a new college experience and this song is ringing in my ears about it

#tell me baby baby do i walk like a boy do i speak like a boy do i stand like a boy sorry babe you keep asking #do i kiss like a boy should i spit like a boy may i fuck other boys????#idk. feels like disability and transness are trying to take me away from myself. and it’s a weird like #this is not a dilemma i’ve really had in the past?? like i was pretty happy with being infantilized and de-sexed #(that’s a lie it still feels bad shdhdf) but like i don’t know like i’ve never been LOOKING for attention like that but now it’s like #i dont know. like now im receiving it and i want it but it feels wrong #like i’m an attractive girl or like i’m a tragedy to be rescued and held close or like i’m a piece of fucking meat #depending who i am talking to. i just want to take the reins back i want to be the person who defines myself????#have never felt as strongly that i want to be a gay man. but im just being compartmentalized and it makes me uncomfortable #anyway i want to feel strong and competent. and soft and kind but i want to be a fucking man about it you know????#i want to be myself without that making me into a woman in other peoples minds. and i’m really struggling with that #straight men being into me = not fun. the gay guy who liked me was creepy and the bisexual guy im hanging out with worries me slightly #but that’s not his fault you know?? but like i felt so much more secure when i thought he was gay because now i can’t escape the idea that #he likes me in the way he likes women. and that’s internalized transphobia that’s externalizing into biphobia like it’s really not good #but it is. scary and weird. idk i kind of just want to go back and back up and save all of this for after midterms shdhdhf #i dont know. i’m gonna go to sleep for real now but the point is this is a good song and it’s the struggle i’m having right now #and it’s what i was feeling during my flare-up last week that made me feel so broken and disconnected from myself and my sexuality #i dont know. i really like the first guy and we should hangout later. i’m gonna have a nap and figure out later what i’m doing today #but yeah everything is just weird. my flesh to jail my soul i just feel like i could fall!!!!#in the meantime im just gonna focus on experiencing depression. and have a nap about it. wish me luck shdhdf #me. my post. mine.#delete later #friends only #nsfw-ish #????#ask to tag #vent cw #(sort of. just feeling weird)

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cheese-water · 11 months

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Generation Loss is a comedic tragedy in every sense of the word. Every character we see exemplifies this fact, but no one other than The Austin Show proves its truth.

We begin at the carousel. Austin, Gay, takes his turn by pleading for himself to live because he has a wife and children back home. The rest of the cast interrogates him about his “wife and kids,” clearly suspicious of his truthfulness without even knowing his dubbed “title.” Everyone in the room treats Austin like a joke.

In turn, so do we.

Next, we reach the closet and shortly after the failed drag show, Austin remarks, “Look, I uh… I didn’t expect to die here.” It’s a moment of pure honesty, whether we like it or not. It happens again when the Puzzler tries to party with them, and Austin has to angrily remind him that they are his captives and are actively trying to kill them.

Austin: “What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? We're trying to get out of here. I have children and wives— wife. One wife! What is this some sort of game? I’ve been stuck in hear for hours it seems. We’re trying to get out. Why is nobody else freaking out? We’ve got C4 strapped to our neck…”

It isn’t until Ethan’s death, his blood pooling out from underneath the door, Austin screaming at the others, begging them to have a reaction, to care about their circumstances, to care about death, that we finally understand Austin’s role in Generation Loss.

After all, in every great comedy, someone always has to play the straight man.

#generation loss #genloss #ranboo #ranboolive #austin show #I LOVE IMPROV STORYTELLING SO MUCH #You can pry genloss improv from my cold dead hands #yeah yeah the pacing was funky #But you can’t ignore the joy it brings when it creates accidental dramatic irony #I adore it so #remember the artwork of genloss characters as card suits?#Like Ranboo is the diamond Sneeg is the spade and Charlie as the club?#This is my formal application to make Austin the heart #he always talks about love and his family is his motivation to keep going and oof :(#he deserved so much better #gl!austin

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creacherkeeper · 7 months

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is this old religion, are we calling it love?

{sweet movie, alisha dietzman / @gaphic / tiktok / @iamalivenow / on earth we're briefly gorgeous, ocean vuong / @manywinged / these violent delights, micah nemerever / the reader, bernhard schlink (trans. carol brown janeway) / hestitations outside the door, margaret atwood / a self-portrait in letters, anne sexton}

[ID: ten images of text together in a litstack

1: Confession: I will think of you forever

2: a post by gaphic: It’s only tragedy if you convince yourself, for even just a moment, that everything could be ok, despite knowing it won’t be. Tragedy lies in ‘so close, yet so far.’ It’s avoidable because it would only take a tiny alteration to prevent disaster, but human nature is in the way- not maliciously, not knowingly, despite trying so hard.

3: a tiktok comment and answer: Are they lovers? / Worse

4: a post by iamalivenow: gay sex won't fix this. it'll probably make this worse. that being said don't you want to see how much worse it can get?

5: Sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined.

6: tags from manywinged: #technically they know and understand each other better than anyone else alive #but they communicate that in the most fucked up insane unnecessarily complicated way and think thats normal

7: I don't think you've ever felt anything that didn't hurt you. / We've found each other, out of everyone else in the world. Does that hurt, too?

8: "I'm not used to being loved. I wouldn't know what to do."

9: Should we go into it together / If I go into it with you I will never come out

10: of course the love is there. / still, / still, / still.

end ID]

#litstack #web weaving #quote compilation #i love giving these vague taglines and then in the tags being like yes this is about blorbo from my games #its Funnee. when they escape containment. 2 me.#lizzie/onion/brandi #lost township #yes this is about the messy dyke girlbestfriend situationship everyone please join hands and pray for them thank you #characters who are either gonna get fixed or get sooooo much worse (or a combo of the two!!) and only time and the dice will tell #faun are you happy now. make me the onion/lizzie playlist.

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hello-nichya-here · 5 months

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Did Sia insult topic of autism somehow?

Oh honey, it's sooooooooo much worse than that.

Sia wanted to make a movie about an autistic girl that manages to connect to people/feel safe and confident through music. So far, nothing outrageous, just a simple concept that would obviously put Sia's music front and center while doing something nice and educating people on autism.

There was controversy about her not casting an autistic actress as it would have been nice representation, but she could have totally gotten away with that since, come on, hollywood hasn't even figured out Rain Man isn't exactly true to life, they're not ready to have an autistic person playing an autistic character. Baby steps.

The real problem started when Sia started promoting the "charity/support group" that was helping "educate" her on the topic to make the movie. The "charity" in question was Autism Speaks - which is absolutely HATED by the autistic community for things like:

1 - Spreading the myth that autism is a mental illness that one can develop/catch like the freaking flue and potentially be cured of, instead of a neurotype, aka something starts in the woomb and cannot be "cured" because to do that you'd need to replace someone's entire nervous system, which is impossible.

2 - Using that myth to get outrageous amounts of money from people so they "search for a cure" - that doesn't exist and will never exist because curing autism is biologically impossible, AND despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of autistic people don't even want to be "cured" (plus, since said "cure" would essentially mean giving the person a new brain, it leads to the question of "Would I even be the same person, or would that just kill and replace me?")

3 - Using the myth of "We don't know what causes autism" (we do, it's genetic) to, of course, get MORE money from people so they can "do research to find the missing puzzle piece" (if you ever see autistic people complaining about a puzzle piece being used to represent the condition, that's why, it was started by Autism Speak's massive disinformation campains).

4 - Falsely "confirming" things like soy milk cause autism with one of the world's most ridiculous "research", losing only to "vaccines totally make kids autistic, buy MY vaccine instead, guys, I am totally not an unbelievably biased person, it's ALL the other doctors/scientists lying to you. GIVE ME MONEY!"

5 - Pushing the narrative of "autism is inherently a tragedy" to distract from the fact that all the money they waste on stupid shit could be used to help autistic people and their families. Instead, they focus on creating more and more panic, making parents in particular despair even more - to the point that one of their "awareness videos" includes a mother talking about how she wants to murder her autistic daughter and then kill herself... while sitting right next to said daughter.

6 - Promoting ABA "therapy" - which was created by the same guy responsible for the attrocity that is gay conversion "therapy." Both have led to unbelievably high rates of confirmed PTSD and suicidal ideation in patients (victims), and ABA in particular has been compared to literal dog training. Very fitting since it was created by a guy who famously did not believe autistic people truly counted as thinking, feeling human beings, and said as much several times. Despite that, it is still praised by some utter bastards because "it makes the patients act less autistic when they're not crying in the corner or trying to jump out a window"

So yeah, working with these guys is a genuinely horrible thing to do since they're basically a scam/hate group pretending to be a charity - and people were STILL willing to give Sia the benefit of the doubt, since Autism Speak uses all their resources to make sure they're the first thing people see when looking up how to help autistic people.

Lots of Sia's fans, both autistic and allistic, warned her repeatedly, politely, that she needed to supporting them IMMEDIATELY as their goal was the exact opposite of the one she claimed to have - aka raise awareness through an accurate portrail of autism. People were even kind enough to name organizations like ASAN as replacements to help her fix any damage done to the project.

And instead of being a decent human being, Sia decided to cry on twitter about how the mean retar-I mean, autistics were bullying her even when she was so kindly using them for her vanity project.

Because yes, that's how the movie turned out. An unwatcheable piece of garbage, with the autistic "character" being so fucking bad even the people who actively use "autistic" as insulted being offended on our behalf - and of course, she was used just a prop to show how awesome Sia's character was.

Seriously, it was so bad the actress playing the autistic girl was sobbing in between scenes because she knew how it was horrible and she didn't want to insult anyone, but Sia is literally her godmother and helped her career by putting her in nearly all her music videos so she felt obligated to go along with it.

So yeah, fuck Sia and fuck Autism Speaks.

#asks #sia #ableism #autism speaks #actually autistic #aba therapy

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ludwigplayingthetrombone · 1 year

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Made this rewrite of the end of chapter 608 bc me and my friends wanted to see gai being the one to stand up for kakashi instead of naruto and just rip obito up. We know gai would’ve been seeing red at hearing him degrade his rival. (Plus it parallels baby gai trying to beat up those chunin for mocking his dad.) Reads Left to right bc i forgot to make it right to left whoopsies.

TW for blood

Obito: Once born into it, none can escape the cycle of trash. So, I will create a new world. Naruto: Sensei!

Gai: The only trash I see is /you/.

Obito: Whatever you do to me is pointless. We end up in the same place. Trash like you could never understand. That’s all shinobi every amount to. Gai: You’re mistaken.

Gai: A true hero doesnt run from reality; He accepts and overcomes hardship! [gai: You can go home if you want. I’m fine Kakashi: The first night in an empty house is the worst. I’m staying] Punished himself instead of others for his failures and flaws! Endured tragedy after tragedy but still keeps youth and kindness in his heart. [Kakashi: I dont think there’s a cooler shinobi out there... Than your dad.... He’ll be alright, Gai] That is what true strength is! So What i do understand, obito, if the word trash leaves our lips in the same sentence as his name, You never knew anything about kakashi in the first place! I have watched the village fail my rival more times than I can count, but he still fought to keep /your/ memory alive!

Gai: Turning your back on him. You aren’t even a tenth of the man Kakashi Hatake is! Gyuki: Let’s go! Obito: Still clinging to kakashi’s side and running your mouth. I speak the truth.

Gai: If that is your chosen path, I’ll crush you to dust. That’s my self rule!

Kakashi: Thanks for cheering! [Thank-you, Gai... I-... I won’t waver again]

Gai: That’s my kakashi! Kakashi: Let’s go. Gai: ROAR, MY YOUTH!!

#kakagai #Maito Gai #might guy #naruto #Kakashi Hatake #my art #obito uchiha #//blood

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bengiyo · 9 months

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The Knowing: Being Queer in BL

I’ve been talking about The Knowing a lot lately with @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles @ginnymoonbeam and @shortpplfedup and so I felt it was time to gather all those thoughts into one place.

I define The Knowing as “growing up and suffering with the knowledge that you are queer (specifically that you are not like other kids) and understanding that you must keep that knowledge to yourself.”

Part of what initially drew me to BL was how often many of these shows took place in what @absolutebl calls “The Bubble” where cultural and structural homophobia is less prevalent or nonexistent. Many of these stories are about guys learning something about themselves for the first time when it comes to being attracted to other men. However, I always find myself drawn to the characters that clearly Knew who they were a long time ago. What’s interesting about these characters is that many of them carry an intense sadness and loneliness that plagues them and their relationships.

I am in my mid-30s. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of language over the decades. When I first realized I was different from other kids I was eight years old. I was a lot like Chiron in Moonlight (2016) asking the question, “What’s a faggot?” I wish I’d had someone like Juan around to say, “A faggot is a word used to make gay people feel bad.” To which Chiron asked, “Am I a faggot?” and Juan quickly corrected. “Nah. You can be gay, but you ain’t gotta let nobody call you no faggot.” I know it’s hard for some of you to read slurs written out so plainly, but I grew up with them being part of the day-to-day language used by kids around me. If you instinctively recoiled at me typing the word four times, imagine experiencing that constantly for your entire adolescence while also fearing the consequences of being discovered by your peers. That’s what I survived. That’s what some of these boys survived.

Before I learned other words, I thought I was weird or broken. I knew I was drawn to boys before I even hit puberty, but I didn’t have language for existing on the ace-spectrum until I joined Tumblr in the early 2010s. Before that I just thought there was something wrong with me. When we see a character in BL who has clearly been gay for a long time, I find myself examining the environment around them to see if they suffered The Knowing.

The worst part of The Knowing is for the boys who can pass as straight if they try hard enough. I always talk about how I think femmes are stronger than those of us (like me) who can pass. They face the public scrutiny of being queer and the danger of that constantly. People like me often go unnoticed unless we’re amongst our peers or explicitly tell people who we are.

I’m writing this post as a love letter to the boys who suffered the Knowing. Sometimes these characters get a bad reputation in fandom for being boring or sad sacks, but they are the characters I love the most. I’d like to talk about some of my favorite boys who Knew. Unsurprisingly, the exact kind of melancholy Japan is willing to play with means they have strong presence on this list.

Korn (Until We Meet Again)

Korn is the character who began my discussion about this in a conversation with @wen-kexing-apologist about Kao’s acting. I pointed out that the saddest thing about Korn in Until We Meet Again is that he knew what he was going to do the entire time. The tragedy of UWMA is that Korn loved Intouch and let him in, and unfortunately learned that Intouch’s love couldn’t fix the horrors that plagued him. You can see it in Kao’s eyes for the entire show whenever we see the In and Korn flashbacks. He suffers under the weight of masculine expectation and crumbles.

The Entire Cast of What Did You Eat Yesterday?

WDYEY is all about characters who Knew. Kenji and Wataru may have been unable to pass and have chosen to accept who they are, but we know Wataru suffered for it because of his feelings about family. Shiro hid who he was for a very long time, and still hides it from most people. His trauma from The Knowing regularly threatens his relationship with Kenji. Kohinata also clearly knew who he was the entire time, and works diligently for the life he’s built for himself. So much of this show is about being gay in a world that does not value us.

Book, Christina, and Yok (Make It Right)

Book is actively victimized because of The Knowing. He left his previous school and doesn’t live with his family because he was outed by a past boyfriend, and is disowned after revenge porn of him is posted.

Both Chrstina and Yok are femme and cannot pass. Unlike many of the boys in this show figuring out who they are, they are trying to survive without losing themselves.

Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)

Li Ming has a gay uncle and still suffers The Knowing. He is hiding his attraction from everyone until he develops feelings for Heart.

Itou Akira (Life: Love on the Line)

We experienced the entire arc of this man’s life and how much The Knowing crushed him. This is probably the most The Knowing character on the list.

Oumi Mitsuru (Eternal Yesterday)

Oumi has such a frank expression of The Knowing and how much it hurts that he likes Koichi but feels like he can’t express it.

Takahashi Satoru (Koisenu Futari)

The man literally blogs about The Knowing, and it’s how Sakuko began to understand herself. He has a questionnaire prepared to help you figure out how long you’ve Known.

Ren (Tokyo in April Is…)

I wrote multiple posts about Ren and his experience with The Knowing. So much of what goes wrong for them is because Ren couldn’t believe that Kazuma could like him, too, and he knowingly faced the consequences of being discovered to save Kazuma’s life.

Pete (Love by Chance)

Pete knows who he is and can’t change it. Trump uses this against him. Pete doesn’t want Ae to be gay like him and suffer with the realities of being a Known Gay. Pete has one of the first coming out scenes in BL that I really enjoyed.

Cairo (Gameboys)

Cairo was clearly struggling with Knowing, and his close friend took his coming out from him. Cairo is a brat, but goddamn do I appreciate some of his angst.

See-eiw (My Only 12%)

He watched The Love of Siam (2007) and had a complete emotional breakdown as he was finally able to name his feelings for Cake. Top-tier expression of The Knowing.

Shin (3 Will Be Free)

I mean, we don’t have to look much further than his entire sad existence and being pushed into sex with a prostitute in the first episode. Also there’s, “It wasn’t that you didn’t like boys. You just didn’t like me.” Shin is the only boy in BL-adjacent media to suffer a specific version of The Knowing: being rejected and discarded by your own people in a homophobic way so they could stay closeted.

Phupha (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Phupha’s entire romantic angst is built around The Knowing and what others seeing him for who he is will do for him.

Pran (Bad Buddy)

Though Bad Buddy exists in The Bubble, Pran has one of the most painful versions of The Knowing I’ve ever experienced because his is wrapped up in family angst and an unrequited crush.

Lee Wan (Our Dating Sim)

Lee Wan suffered The Knowing and broke things with his best friend after confessing. The Knowing destroyed his ability to see a version of his life where he and Shin Kitae overcame the upcoming challenges together and so he takes that choice from Kitae. Crushing.

Ueda Minoru (Our Dining Table)

Minoru is so familiar with The Knowing that he preemptively breaks up with Yutaka after kissing him.

Kiyoi (My Beautiful Man)

The reveal that Kiyoi already knew who he was and noticed Hira the entire time? Beautiful. One of the best reveals in J-BL history.

Minato (Minato’s Laundromat)

This man is one of the sadder examples of The Knowing because he’s in a place where he understands who he is now, but the internalized homophobia cripples almost all of his romantic and closer relationships.

Han Baram (Sing My Crush)

This boy is suffering so much from The Knowing that his love confession song is literally titled “Letter of Apology.”

Oh-aew (I Told Sunset About You)

He Knew. “Are you proud of me?”

Noh Shinwoo and Shin Daon (Light On Me)

Noh Shinwoo clearly suffered The Knowing and was discovered. His bullies still plague him on the streets when they see him. Shin Daon was not surprised by his attraction to Woo Taekyung; he struggled with his parents expectations.

Nagisa (His: I Didn’t Mean to Fall in Love)

Nagisa definitely Knew who he was and was probably going to stay quiet about it until Shun showed up in his life. What upsets me so much about Nagisa is that he is the one who leaves Shun later in the movie after pulling queerness out of Shun.

The Secret Crush on You Quartet

All four of them get a spot on this list for The Knowing. Toh, Kaojao, and Daisy clearly suffered The Knowing, and Som has clearly taken care of them for a long time.

Rocky and Judah (Quaranthings)

I love that these two explore The Knowing from a class perspective. Judah is wealthier and eventually comes out, but Rocky is poor and struggles with it a lot longer.

Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook (Where Your Eyes Linger)

The Knowing, bodyguard edition. The yearning between the two of these is palpable. It hurts that they can’t even talk to each other about it.

Mafuyu (Given)

He Knew and lost his boyfriend to The Knowing.

Kim Dong Hee (Unintentional Love Story)

He won’t acknowledge Go Ho Tae’s feelings because he feels a sense of loyalty to Ho Tae’s mom for taking care of him after his parents disowned him over the gay thing. Huge case of The Knowing.

Edit: New Additions October 7, 2023.

Nekoyashiki Mamoru (Kabe-Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized)

He describes a textbook case of the Knowing and finding community at the convention.

Zo (Hidden Agenda)

He definitely Knew, and got messed over by his friends badly for it.

Yuuki (Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend)

We almost lost Yuuki to the Knowing.

All of the Eclipse Gays

Literally all of them. The entire show is about how fascism turns queer people into agents working against their own community.

Joe (The Warp Effect)

He clearly Knew before his encounter with Army, and he also suffered for being outed.

#Ben writes #The Knowing #too many shows to tag #what did you eat yesterday?#until we meet again #bl series #thai bl #japanese bl #korean bl #filipino bl

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rthko · 3 months

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Hi :) I read The Tragedy of Heterosexuality and loved it — do you have any other books you’d recommend about gender/sexuality? Thanks <3 I love reading your long posts, you have really insightful ideas and I think we view the world very similarly

Glad to hear that! Here's some context for anyone not in the loop: The Tragedy of Heterosexuality is a book about Heteropessimism, or rather, finding a way out of it. The notion is that heterosexual love is doomed because men and women are just different by nature, and it manifests through relationship self-help books, incels and pickup artists, and the memes and ramblings of countless straight women who they wish they could just be lesbians. Jane Ward think heterosexuality as we know it self sabotages through what she calls the misogyny paradox: straight men love women, except they don't love women. But she doesn't think heterosexuality is doomed or prop up political lesbianism as a solution. She calls for mutual respect and actually leaning into the heterosexuality of, well, actually liking each other, rather than try to "queer" it. This is part of a really interesting turn in queer theory where heterosexuality has emerged as a subject of study--another good example is Hanne Blank's Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality.

So I want to start out by disclaiming I'm not actually that well read. This is something I've been trying to work on more recently. That said, here are some gender and sexuality recs:

Two essays by Gayle Rubin: The Traffic in Women and Thinking Sex. I don't completely cosign everything she says, but these are monumental texts. Thinking Sex is topical especially as the "sex wars" keep playing out.

Gender Trouble by Judith Butler. Everyone's heard of this, so my specific recommendation is to skip to part three and the conclusion, where the text is at its most concise. Butler's theory of gender performativity has exploded beyond their initial reach, so they've since had a lot of interviews and given talks that address a wider audience. People who have read both Gender Trouble and Bodies that Matter tend to recommend the latter text, but I still need to.

The Trouble with Normal by Michael Warner, or if you want a shorter version, his essay "Normaler and Normaler." Even if you're not against marriage in its entirety, his criticisms are so incisive and helpful, especially now in countries where gay marriage was passed but proved to be a dead end. It also really gets into gayness as identity versus behavior, which seems to have exploded into a huge conflict recently. This is how you get people who are on board with queerness in the abstract but appalled by its real-life specifics. I also still need to read Fear of a Queer Planet.

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde, is a collection of speeches and essays by one of the most influential Black feminist writers. "Uses of the Erotic" especially stuck with me, where the erotic is taken not so literally but as a sort of creative synergy with political implications. If you've ever heard "the master's tools will not dismantle the masters house," that's included in this collection.

Close to the Knives by David Wojnarowicz, also a collection of speeches and essays, is one of my favorite books on AIDS. The rage is palpable and crucial, and the essay "Do Not Doubt the Dangerousness of the 12-inch Politician" is eerily resonant today as politicians still stoke violence on TV (and now social media).

Lately I've been getting more into trans writing, with Transgender History by Susan Stryker and Whipping Girl by Julia Serano. The former alarmed me with how much I didn't know, and the latter blew my mind. It was written at a time when trans people, for better and for worse, weren't really in the public eye except for in niche circles, and academia about trans people was about or at the expense of them but not by and for them. Her mark is so tangible today. My next read will be Reverse Cowgirl by McKenzie Wark after hearing rave reviews. I think I'm going to like it.

I am also accepting recs!

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bowofbalance · 4 months

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I absolutely believe that Foreman is gay. I have two reasons for that. First and most obvious, absolutely no one who is attracted to women at all would let themselves fumble Thirteen that hard. There is absolutely no way. Second, he grew up evangelical. That's actually canon (for once in my life). And he's not married, he doesn't have kids, none of that. Even though he's a doctor and objectively would be able to take care of a family.

Since he's gay, he has to deal with the absolute worst case of internalized homophobia you can possibly imagine. He definitely grew up hearing that gay people are all going to hell and that they deserve it and everything else like that. So young Foreman never even let himself see that he was gay because that was just too dangerous for him. Which means that adult Foreman is completely ignorant of who he is, except on the rare occasions when he loses control (have you seen how he looks at Chase if he's been drinking?). Those episodes do put him in a spiral of self hate though, so he keeps clinging to control more and more over the course of the show.

And at least Chase knows that, and he tries to tell Foreman that he's gay exactly the same way House would: by calling him repressed and hooking him up to a monitor that he rigged. We never see Foreman get over the repression/internalized homophobia even after he got everything he wanted, which is incredibly sad. But Chase still keeps trying to drag him out of his shell and I think it's because he sees what's really going on with Foreman (Catholic guilt sees evangelical shame, I need to write more about that).

Foreman is kind of like his own tragedy and we never get to see enough of him As Himself instead of him As House 2.0.

#i feel like the catholic shame evangelical guilt relationship deserves a whole book #i wish i were a better writer :(#anyway yeah. foreman internalized homophobia #house md #eric foreman #choreman #(ish)

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absolutebl · 6 months

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This Week in BL - I'm All Over the Place, and so are the shows

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - The Jasmine flirting thing was so darn cute, I can’t. I love these two so much.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 2 of 10 - Oh it’s great. Flirting. Fighting. Fate. Murder. Eventually we’ll add fucking. A trifffecta. I could do with a bit less training but whatever. And we have learned our boys are laboring under a geis. NO SINGING. Otherwise this ep was actually pretty flipping great.

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - Ooo kidnapping and the sides are suffering betrayal. Also Tew kills again. I like that they don’t shy away from the fact that he’s a killer and Guy was genuinely scared. And then Tew had to break up with Guy to protect him in Noble Sacrifice (tm). How Cdrama of him. Rough ep all round.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - It’s not exactly good, but it’s better than I was expecting, and I tend to cut pulps a lot of slack out the gate. The plot is more interesting, Him is a sweetie (I like that in a seme) and our uke has both game and pluck. He’s a femme bitch, I LOVE that in a boy + we never get it femme in the lead. The acting is not great, sound all over the place, but there are no terrible sound effects, the soundtrack is okay, and our high heat came with a side of BJ + condoms, and no one has sung (yet), so I think I like it. It’s giving me Big Dragon vibes.

Linguistic moment:

Him used Him/ter for pronouns & ha. Very flirty. Nail used rao back a little bit of a challenge. (No pom and didn’t use his own name either.) Gauntlet thrown. Our baby ends up with rao/kao but I don’t think that’ll stick. Him is getting Phi out of him if it's the last thing he does.

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 2 of 6 - The characters’ shared backstory is no surprise but I do like this show. Those little private smiles as they find family. Those lingering gazes as they find romance. Lovely. Also Shin wants to marry into Peach's family so bad, I’m reminded of Laurie in Little Women. All that said, it’s never the top of my list to watch for some reason.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - How could I have forgotten how stunning Off is? Meanwhile… I love Gun’s character, he's so cute. But this show is a bit too comedic for me. I wish GMMTV were taking this script seriously. Sorry Neo et al I’m not sold on the sides. In general? I don’t love it. I don’t hate it either. In other news, I think I'll go make toast.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 14 - I love the sides and unholy amount and in general it was fine this week probably because I decided to do a trash watch.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 5 of 10 - I’m getting fatigued. Also holy random sex Batman. Where did these extra sides come from? I’m confused. Tonal pingpong going on, and not just in the shower.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 4 of 8 - Finally a direct confession Jade can’t avoid. Will things get a bit more serious?

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I don’t know why I watch this show, the acting is great, but it just makes me cry.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 3 of 14 eps - What a bonkers thing this is. Very kinky and also just odd. I do keep thinking about the pinks with it. Similarly, there doesn’t seem much glue holding this thing together, dried cum of course but not glue. And despite what some kinksters say, the one cannot replace the other.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Fake Love ep 15 of 24 - This is a weird installment. Too stalker and random blackmail for me. But not as bad as abuse and death, I guess?

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - Not much of a love triangle in the end (you just found out he is actually gay and broken hearted = an opportunity not a tragedy). Meanwhile I like that the high school break up was just mr insomniac's fault. He got jealous and angry and petty. No miscommunication just an asshole kid. I did find this show a little slow, even though it was your standard length KBL. Odd that. They are very cute boyfriends tho.

All in all:

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it. 8/10

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - It has the feel of a one act, with such a limited cast and location, which reminds me of KBL. Still watching these two quietly fall in love and process affection through their own art forms is sweet. This is a very soft gentle show.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) - Toki, a delinquent but pure-hearted kid falls in love with his handsome phys-ed teacher, Sahara. This is very much my trope but very manga campy, which I don’t love. I’m quite torn. Toki is an idiot but a lovable one. But do I like it?

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even dimples can motivate me to watch. You can tell me how this goes if you can find it.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off. If told it's good, I'll binge.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes, so I'm waiting to binge if told it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.