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naturaldisasterfanfiction · 4 years

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10. Part 3

Robyn is laughing at me and I really want to know why “why do you keep laughing at me, it’s like you look at me and laugh?” she looks so sexy just sat in the chair, she doesn’t even need to do much “because” Robyn looked down at her nails “you are funny, just how you are to the world this mean monster but you’re actually a fully blown softie, I just find it cute how you’re slightly shy with me, I mean me? Come on, we have known each other for years, I just think you should let yourself be free, open up to me. Like we have been through shit, we have not had a good childhood. We have been damaged but I was at a stage of my life where I felt like you, but I had to move on, I had to forgive the person that damaged me in the first place, I had to face my dad. And I know you, and with you. You never faced your dad, you front face lie and say your dad was good but then told me you felt he never saved you, for you to fully move on and be happy you need that” putting my head down “nobody wants that Robyn, nobody listens to me. My views are irrelevant. When I went to therapy nobody cared, they hated me, they saw me as this nigga that will always be troubled, them women had opinions on me. It’s useless and I didn’t have a good team, people take advantage because they think I need them. I feel like even if my mom says she loves me, she is happy for me. I feel she isn’t. And then what bugs me is that these women got pregnant and I don’t remember how or why, when I sit and think I am like what am I doing with myself, my life is a mess and drugs clear that. The parties do that too, nobody actually accepts that I am bipolar, they just think Chris is being a dickhead not knowing I am probably just having a fucking episode because nobody cares, who cares about me? Like I am used to it now, someone always try to dog me out about things, so I have to close my doors and stay in my home and then I still get shit for it. It sucks because people say I am a funny guy, but inside I am just there calculating shit around me because I don’t know these niggas, but I don’t want to be alone, nobody helps anymore. And them OHB niggas are there because I like to feel wanted and needed, I get that” Robyn looks genuinely upset for me, like I know we fuck around a lot, but she looks sad for me.

“I don’t want a pity party, you asked, and I said but it is what it is. I try to feel that change with my kids, I try and it’s not there. And I am not sure if it’s because I hate the way it came, I hate that at the end of the day their mothers will always have this shit opinion on me and they used me for a come up that I am stuck with. I think Royalty does love me but as she grows her opinion is siding, she feels I need help and I hate that she feels that because I felt that with my mom and I couldn’t help, so I fucked up with that but I won’t get to ever bond with my son. These bitches, they took me for advantage and they never thought of me, again. It’s me, I am the bad guy” I shrugged saying, it’s just a shit situation “but we were also drunk Chris?” Robyn said “everyone takes advantage of me, but nobody sees it as that, this is why I was hurt by you when you told me to go. It’s just the fact I love you that I let it go but it did hurt me Robyn, you hurt me too” Robyn looked away from me “I am sorry Chris, I didn’t think you had so much going on. I get you was a mess with things but not the way I thought, this is literally bigger than me, I want better for you Chris because I know you deserve better and I am here for you. I believe that women have taken advantage of you, and for myself also. I am one of those, but I did it because I know you and it was just a bit of fun for us, I just” Robyn put her head down “I feel bad” I know she does.

I don’t want Robyn to feel this way about it “when you told me you had sex when you were what, eight? I didn’t find that normal and always knew from then that you were taken advantage of from a young age, that was always going to trouble you Chris. This is really bigger then me” Robyn said looking at me “but you believe in me and I know you love me, just those things alone is making me think right” Robyn smiled at me lightly “you speaking on it is good too, I wish different for us Chris. I really did, every day I wished we were different and not in this situation but we were just two damaged kids that were falling in love so deep that we didn’t know how to handle it, not one of us knew how to stop it. When I was ready again, you weren’t. Then it was done for and even now Chris you aren’t but the baby, you’re here for the baby and that makes me happy” nodding my head in agreement “but I want different, I want change. You handle yourself so well” she really does “the thing is I had to change myself, I was being a bitter person but still. Till this day I get reminded of the shit I did or happened to me and it’s not nice, but you have to push through, and drugs is not it, I will help you Chris. I will talk to you until the sun comes up if you want, I think we need to consider you have bipolar and people don’t take that into account, you handle emotion different. So, what do you want to gain from this, like what do you want?” she asked “just you, I love to be around you. You’re like a healing agent” Robyn giggles make me smile “I will take that but I can’t make you ever speak to your dad about those issues but we can work on it and I want you to have that good feeling about our child and also your kids. Have this little journey together I guess. Which will be weird for us both” I grinned “it will be, but I am having a baby with the woman I love, and the fact you care for me the way you do. I am excited and I can’t stress this enough that it feels like my first” I think it’s going to be a better journey for me.

Watching Robyn get up from the chair “it is very weird to see you pregnant, I am just here like is this real life” Robyn is just so damn cute though “I know, I find it weird too but come here. Let me hug you” Robyn said walking around the bed, getting up from the bed. I don’t want Robyn to be struggling to hug me now and leaning down to me “I love you too Chris, I may not say it as much as you do but I do” wrapping my arm around Robyn, I took in a deep breath, inhaling Robyn’ sent. My nose is practically in her hair “I always had love for you but things had to be like this” it feels good to know she feels the same way “when nobody is here to hurt us or talk shit we good” I said “this is why I create a bubble, it’s safe space” Robyn sighed out “it’s better when people know less of this, of us because they don’t deserve to know” I don’t think I want to move away from this hug but Robyn moved her head back so I did move back “you always give the best hugs, always” I smiled at her “honestly, what made you try and get with an Arab?” Robyn busted out laughing walking away from me “because I was sick of niggas and then I realised every race is trash, he was rich and helped with knowing rich people so there is that, the end” Robyn makes me laugh but she has been unlucky in trying to find a new man.

I wore the shirt Robyn has given me to wore, it’s nice actually but I mean you can’t go wrong with a Ralph Lauren shirt, I wonder if she picked it out herself. It was nice to speak to her though, to talk to someone about it and for them to listen and to understand me, I know my issues are bigger than her but just for her to listen to me just means well. I am not asking for the world, just a woman that can care for me and nobody really does it like Robyn, she has my heart and never gave it me back because I have hers, I would say she is my soul mate, she has to be my twin flame, I need to stop researching such things. Pressing my hands down my shirt, I think I have sprayed enough aftershave and stared at myself long enough now “Christopher” I swear when she says my name it goes straight down to my dick “here” stepping out of the bathroom “wow, what is your skin care routine boo. Straight looking handsome out here my nigga, do tell” I hate that she got my giggling, I am fucking giggling with my whole heart “but look at you” Robyn touched my collars “you look so good, and you smell so good. See, look at this, the smile is so pure, I love to see it but” Robyn is dragging her hands all down my body “we need to go” she moved back, I didn’t catch it but Robyn looks so good “I love the dress on you” Robyn fluttered her eyelashes at me and twirled around “you think? I feel my ass is a little big, my thighs have come out too” shaking my head “you look so good Robyn, I promise you” Robyn cooed out “well” she clasped her hands together “we are going to find out, I want you to be happy, I want you to enjoy today ok?” nodding my head, she is so cute towards me, such care with me, and also she is hyping me up.

Letting Robyn walk out ahead of me “hello guys, so shall we?” seeing Dennis just there “shall we what?” Robyn turned to me “well I know how you will get all nervous and everything so I told Dennis to come up here, we can take some pictures together. I just think it will be nice for the baby to have those memories, this is for our baby. I want the baby to have stability as much as it can” nodding my head “I understand, well this is my first time so where do you want me?” I asked “well we don’t have much to work with because we are upstairs but, I think if we will work with it. I am sure you both don’t mind touching. Good?” Dennis walked off, I was not expecting a whole photoshoot but it is Robyn, she likes to keep memories and I don’t mind being there with her “see, what I say about your bedroom being better” her room is huge, it has a whole bathtub in her room, it’s just there “only the best for me boo” I like her bedroom “yeah, it’s a mess too actually” Robyn looked behind her and at me “be quiet, you lucky you came in here now” laughing at Robyn, the light flashed on the camera “so, we about to do the most cringey but cute photos. Come on, let’s all get excited now, it’s going to be cute though” I am scared on what Dennis is wanting now “so both of you stand in front of the open balcony doors just there, face each other too. And just be yourselves, talk and giggle whatever” oh god this is making me sweat, facing Robyn already feeling a little shy “this comes easy to Chris” rubbing the top of my head “you just being mad cocky, whatever” she is too “I am just taking pictures so, just hold hands” Robyn breathed out “this is a little romantic for you” I questioned “I always wanted it, you know. That feeling of having the man there to take these pictures with, and I know you would” holding my hands out “you know it” smiling at her “you both are just so easy to take picture of, chemistry. I will need to of course go through these” Dennis said, Robyn and I just put our heads down laughing.

Looking at the pictures he has taken “I want a book of these, but we have one more” Dennis walked off, Robyn looked up at me “thank you” frowning at her “don’t say that, this is the first for me too” smiling at Robyn “we have baby scan, and we will” Dennis walked over with the scan picture “here” he placed is on Robyn’ stomach, I have not touched Robyn’ stomach “and we want daddy hands around this picture, but we want your hands to create a heart when together and Robyn, your hands just over his, making the same shape. This idea will be great” Dennis is holding the scan just where I am supposed to do what he said, and I feel nervous about it “can I?” I asked Robyn “sure you can, it’s been a while since a man as touched me. Let me see those hands, they better be moisturised too” I laughed shaking my head and then holding my hand out “I have nice hands thank you” standing behind Robyn “this is very close you know” Dennis mean mugged me “hurry up, the process is taking way longer then it should. Just put your arms just around her, I have not felt Robyn’ stomach so this is a first for me. Lightly placing my hands on her stomach, I felt my heart skip a beat, I am so nervous “this is different” Robyn admitted “ok now Robyn, just place your hands over his. Awww like wedding photos” I feel I am getting red “you said cringey but this is getting beyond it” feeling Robyn place her hands over mine, I don’t know why but my thumb is lightly moving against her stomach “I can feel that” Robyn said and I just laughed “this is, just. I don’t know” I laughed and so did Robyn.

To say the pictures are cringey and I thought they are doing the most, I like the hand thing Dennis did. Our hands, together and the scan picture “you like? See, I can make it look good” sliding over to the next picture “wow, we look good. We look happy” just seeing us both laughing, it looked comfortable for us to be like that “I mean I will be taking more but you both have a lot of chemistry, cringey photos are the cutest, I think” passing his camera back “I want that hand one framed, not even joking. I like it” Dennis smiled “thank you” watching Robyn come out of the bathroom “shall we go then” nodding my head “I appreciate you wanting me in these pictures, like honestly” letting Robyn walk ahead of me “why wouldn’t I want you, I am not a petty baby mother. But honestly, I am having a baby with my best friend and the guy I love so it’s a win, win situation. I am comfortable with you on this, that is why” she has a point “not going to lie, I don’t think I am going to last through a party. My feet hurt and I am tired, like imagine me needing pee already. I just want to know and then pass out asleep” Robyn is acting like she can’t handle a night out anymore “you are getting old Robyn, be careful” I said as she walked down the steps, Dennis never stops taking pictures. He is all on the stairs just taking them, I like him. He minds his business and does his thing; he is impressive, and I used to work with him until Robyn took him.

Walking behind Robyn as we made our way outside, the gold and white is everywhere and honestly, I have never been to a gender reveal shit, so this is new to me “about time, you both took so long!” Mel shouted, ok this is pretty “Awww you guys, this is so nice” they really made the back yard all themed to this reveal, I don’t know why anyone makes a big deal out of it “right, so you both need to stand about here, also we doing this now because Robyn can’t wait and she will drive me crazy. Can we all just gather here” Mel grabbed mine and Robyn’ arm “just wait here” this is actually fun “what you think it’s going to be?” Dennis asked, looking at Robyn “a girl, I hope anyways. I want it to be a girl, but if it’s a boy then I will have to try for a girl. I joke but I want it to be a girl” I hope she gets what she wants “and you Chris?” I paused, I didn’t think I would need to answer “I would like it to be a girl, I think we all need another mini Rihanna in the world” which is true “I swear if this fucks up, I am going to kill someone chile” Melissa said, she looks stressed “ok, ok sshhh” I mean they have the backdrop for anything to happen but it’s what will be happening that is concerning because nothing is happening that is the point “flop” I said laughing, the sound of fireworks started “ah yes!” Mel shouted, squinting my eyes as the fireworks just pink and blue “is this your way of saying it is twins?” this is a trick, it’s actually a beautiful display. Robyn gripped my arm “oh my god” she breathed out; I can hear planes. I really can, seeing an airplane come into eye-view before seeing the fireworks suddenly change pink with the airplane release a pink water trail and flew over, Robyn screamed out jumping. Turning to Robyn laughing “it’s a girl!” she shouted and hugged me “I am happy, especially for you” I said “look!” Noella shouted, looking up and seeing another airplane with a banner “it’s a girl, congrats Robyn and Chris. Awww!” I said, moving back from the hug “I am so happy” Robyn would be crying of course she is.

I am having another girl, I say I am stressed now but a whole daughter and with Rihanna genes, I smell an early grave for me. I am happy, I wasn’t really bothered on what it was, I am happy that I am having a baby with the woman I love “I just want to say something!” Robyn shouted “I know, I have been crying a lot, these are happy tears but thank you everyone. I wanted this to be just with the people I love, good vibes. Happiness and this is what I got, I love the whole set out. Wasn’t no cake shit, just well through the out and I know my family know me, announcing my daughter with a bang. But I just want to say thank you for this all, my team, my people. Ja for his constant bitchy comments about my ankles, everything. To be having a baby with my best friend, the person I love too. We have so much history, I am happy. As I whine down, as I start to put my feet up to enjoy my pregnancy I know you are going to be working still but just know, I recognize it all. Next will be baby shower and then I want to just hide in my home, get comfy, get ready to be a mom. I am just happy y’all and now I am crying again but thank you” clapping along with everyone as she sat down, she didn’t need too but she shouted me out, I love her for that.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna Fanfiction #Chrianna #Fanfiction #Fanfic

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polygamyff · 4 years

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43.

It’s weird to be moving my things to a home I have never visited; I am adamant in not seeing it until I am with Robyn and Reign so we can do it together. I am just emptying my suite at the top of my hotel “feeling emotional?” turning around seeing Shawn “it’s weird, I don’t know. I feel emotional, I don’t know why though” dapping Shawn “it’s because a lot has happened in this suite Maurice, this has been your home for years. Like you hid from Noami here, you have had so much happen here, happiness, tears. You spent your time here, so you’re finally moving huh?” nodding my head “yeah, it’s scary you know. I am finally going to be a family man, family home. Robyn is coming today so yeah, I thought I would get the movers to move my stuff, it’s not much but still. It’s my stuff, and I’m emotional” I chuckled, Shawn patted my back “it’s new beginnings for you, I am happy for you. Robyn moving to the city that never sleeps, she can really watch you now” nodding my head “Ally, I want you to get someone to deep clean this place, renovate it and we can start using this suite for customers ok? You now what to do” Ally waved me off as she rushed off, she is of course doing everything. She is making sure my stuff is moved “she has been to the home, she said she was taken back by it, she said it’s beautiful. I refuse to see it until I am with Robyn, so I let Ally deal with it, so how you been? Not spoke to you for a while” I am still trying to take it all in, where I spent my depressive drugged up days, I vaguely remember when Noami came storming in this suite, I don’t know how. And I just snorted a line, she was so angry. Like I know I said to her bye, I knew I was going to be out of it, and I had other women here, she was so angry “Maurice!” Shawn clicked his fingers at me “huh” looking at me “sorry, what did you say?” here I am daydreaming “I am going to tell your sister about my past” raising an eyebrow “you sure about that? Can’t believe it’s a thing still” I was hoping it would have ended “it is Maurice, we get on just well. I like Nalah a lot Maurice” I still don’t know how to feel about it “if it’s true then she will come back to you, if not then you know. Look at me, I came out of it being a married man. Love” pointing at him “this is why I am nervous, now I know how you felt when you didn’t want to tell Robyn about Noami, you don’t want to lose her” nodding my head as I walked off slowly “well, she knows where I am if she needs me, I rather you tell her. Then maybe I can accept this situation a little more” Shawn nodded his head.

This place is empty now, I had a few things here, not many. The movers came from Texas, to here and now to the home which Ally will be there, and they came here for what, about eight boxes. Looking around the suite “new beginnings bro” Shawn patted my shoulder; my dad gave me this suite to live when I turned twenty. It was a place I ran too, cried at actually “new beginnings” I said closing the door “it’s bad vibes anyways, I know. I have been there with you” rubbing my chin as I walked the lobby “I am happy, like I will have my daughter here. I can be a real ass dad instead of you know, seeing her now and then and I think Robyn and I will work so much better. She wants a family home and I also want a family. She hated that I never really moved in the Cali home, well why would I? That was never my base, here is better and I am so happy she did this. I didn’t want to approach the situation, you know how it is with women” fixing my suite jacket button “I do, but you hear that? About Malik? Well” Shawn pressed the elevator button “so Noami’ uncle beat Malik’ ass and then Naomi left him. This was around when the divorce happened and got signed. Malik has no home, and Nalah said your dad has him in the hotel at New Orleans because your mom begged him. Malik is in a state” stepping in the elevator “see, when it’s my hotel. He will be on the streets; I can never forgive him” it’s up to my dad what he wants to do with him for now.

Stepping off of the elevator “well I thought I would tell you, me and Jay are going into business” me and Shawn stopped in the middle of the reception area “no way!?” Shawn spat “Mr Davenport, he is here Kellen” looking behind me, I know this nigga ain’t here, and Tiffany “Maurice, cousin” that child is in my hotel “Kellen” I mumbled, I am not impressed. He is holding that child like that child means anything, Tiffany didn’t bother to walk to me, but Kellen did with that child “I was in New York so I thought Royal can meet his uncle” staring at Kellen’ face “his what?” I said, Kellen laughed “come on now, I am a changed man. I don’t want this anymore; this is the future. This is Uncle Maurice, Royal” taking in a deep breath “why did you name him Royal?” I need to know this “because in my eyes he is Royal, and I want him to know his family” Kellen said “where is Reign? We did grow up together” stuffing my hands in my pockets “she is coming soon, you know Robyn is moving here” looking down at the child “luckily he has your genes” Kellen laughed “I am so happy to have a son” looking up from the child “likewise but with having a daughter, if you are staying here. No funny business ok?” Kellen nodded his head “I paid” he said “good, nice seeing you. I have business” I rather not fuck with him, keep him at a distance.

Walking off with Shawn “I don’t trust him, he has an agenda” I said, making my way outside “his son is cute, got that light skinned genes too. The Davenport genes” looking over at Shawn “do I care?” we stopped outside the hotel “I am just saying” Shawn nudged me “I would like a son though, but having a daughter is just the best. She gives me a lot of love and I wouldn’t ever love her any less, but I would like a son, a boy of mine. He will be even cuter than Royal, dumb ass name to be honest” Shawn chuckled “but he is cute” I added, I don’t want to sound too bitter “so you want more kids then?” Shawn asked “I do, I am just scared but Robyn took that fear away from me when she said what she said about helping me, helping us and there is a way around it. So I am happy now” Shawn smiled at me “good on you” seeing a SUV pull up in front of me “this is my next meet, but thanks for coming to see me and if my sister does need me, you know where I am ok?” dapping Shawn “see what happens” he walked off “Maurice Davenport!” Rob said “Robert” shaking his hand “you got my goods?” he chuckled “I do, in this” he has a large briefcase with him “well, come on. Let’s go in” I gestured for him to go in first.

Sitting across from him in my meeting room “when I got the call from your assistant, I was thinking. Is this really Maurice Davenport? I was so confused, but then the money came in straight away and look at this, the man himself. I am rather shocked to meet you, a young black man that is a billionaire, I do meet rich men but this. I am so hype right now” this guy is funny “well I got good reviews from your business, and I believe you have got what I want?” he is nervous, I don’t know why either “unless you don’t?” he unlocked his case “no, I have. I just hope you like it. Would you like to see Reign-Texas Davenport watch first?” I smiled, I smiled at him saying her full name “go on” I said, I don’t really think I am a big deal but clearly I am according to this guy. I just wanted him to make Reign and Robyn some Rolex’s for them, a little gift for them “you said you wanted to keep it same, so this is Reign’ Diamond encrusted, pink face Rolex” taking the watch from Rob “aww man, oh my god. This is so cute, like I know this will be perfect for her, a little loose but she will grow into it, aww my baby girl is going to look so good, yeah” looking around the watch “I like it, it’s perfect” nodding my head staring in awe, I just love it “this is Robyn’ watch, as you requested, the same. To every detail” he held it out to me in the box “perfect, both of my ladies got the same. So what it is, they are moving to me. I just wanted to give them both a moving gift, so this is perfect. Thank you” I am very happy with this gift.

Robyn has just said she has landed in New York, I am so happy and excited right now, I couldn’t meet them at the airport because I need to finish off a few things here because I’m off for a few days to help settle in Robyn “Maurice” my office door opened “yes Ally?” looking up at the door “Kellen is here, he would like to speak to you” rolling my eyes “I suppose, just let him in” I have no choice, clearly he has some issue that he has got. Why does he want to speak to me “cuz” Kellen walked in “welcome to my office, what is up? You may take a seat” I pointed across my desk “thank you” it’s such a shame he did what he did, now he’s sniffing around me “what is it I can do for you Kellen?” he is laughing, he should laugh because he is a joke “my dad said you’re going to take over the company by next month, and that your dad said you’re not going to put up with shit. Meaning you won’t support us like that, I have a family and a home to run” taking in a deep breath “Tiffany not working? Or she wanting you to provide for her? Huh?” Kellen sighed out “I am stuck with her, I fucked up and I am with her now what do you want me to do, it’s her. She sells stories about us; I can’t stop her. Ask Robyn, we always been toxic, but I made a mistake with her and she said she wants a home like you got here, I am not spending sixty-seven fucking million! I just need you to tell me what I can do so I can still get money” raising an eyebrow, I laughed and it’s funny to me “leave her, then I can accept you’re being true to your word. I mean you don’t want her right? You divorce her, make sure you prove she cheated on you too. She can’t touch anything because this is all mines so there is that. You leave her, then I will help you and your son out” Kellen stared at me like I was joking “other then that, now you told me she speaks shit about me, I don’t want to know. Leave her, then come to me. Money or no money, your choice” I smirked “cuz” I am not being evil but honestly, fuck Tiffany “but will you have my back? My dad will kill me!?” nodding my head “I got you, I can put that on my daughter. You want to prosper; she needs to go. I will be running a close circle, either you’re in or out” this guy does not love Tiffany, he hates her a lot “my son?” why is he asking me “naming it Royal, should have been a crime!” I spat “I didn’t pick it, his full name is Royal Texas Davenport, Tiffany is deluded, I wanted his name to be Kellen junior!” shaking my head in disbelief “wow! Well you know what to do, come back when you can” that fucking bitch.

#Chrianna #Chranna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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pluviophile-bookworm · 4 years

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AWAE 1x3 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

I took a completely unannounced break from posting my reactions to AWAE. How rude of me. But I hope whoever reads these can forgive me, as I’m sure you’d understand that university is no joke. I’m not going to be posting for a while because I simply haven’t got the time to rewatch and write a reaction post, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. For now, I’m leaving you with my thoughts on 1x3 in celebration of the Netflix release of season 3.

I’m actually really excited to be rewatching this episode since I’ve forgotten quite a bit of its plot details. I do remember it marks the first appearance of Gilbert, all the kids, and the school setting. I’ve told myself many times before that if this show was just Anne and her friends going about their day-to-day life, I’d still watch it and love it. So let’s dive right in.

I’m so happy to actually see Anne smile from ear to ear while getting ready for her first day of school. She’s nervous, but excited, and she deserves something positive after being denied so many joys for so many years. True, it will not be easy at first, but I can’t help admiring her positive disposition even though she is several years behind and is still not exactly accepted into the society of Avonlea with open arms.

Anne dropping and breaking that cup reminds me of myself on my first day of middle school - even up to the hope that it’s not a sign of how the rest of the day is going to go. However, unlike me, Anne keeps up the positive attitude and, as I already said, I admire her for it.

As much as I understand why Anne feels the way she does about her looks (she’s only 13 and she’s probably spent all her life being told she was ugly because of her red hair and freckles, and she never found beautiful heroines in the books she read that had those features), I agree with Marilla on this - Anne should find a worthier overriding concern, or indeed feel lucky she doesn’t have to worry about anything bigger than that anymore.

Matthew and Marilla have only had Anne for what, a couple of weeks? But they already look like typical parents sending their only child off to school. I love them so much as parents. I just love them in general, too. Now that was a beautiful cold open, of the type I call “gold open”.

Talking to the trees as if they were fine ladies and decorating her hat with flowers is such an Anne thing to do... society may find it odd, but I love her for it. What can I say, I love this girl and that’s that.

As much as Diana wouldn’t admit it because she was raised by her mother, I believe she loved the way Anne looked with the flowers on her hat. I also believe that she would have very much wants to do the same, but would never be allowed to. Just saying that makes me go back to her awesome development throughout the majority of season 3... Anne has been a big influence on her, obviously.

“It won’t be long until my parents accept you” - well, they did, but they were still very disapproving of Jerry and his family just because they’re poor - which is probably not their fault. And I know it took saving Minnie May’s life for them to accept Anne, while Jerry never did that... but didn’t his family take Diana in when she was (supposedly) so badly injured she couldn’t walk? Isn’t that a good thing? and instead of accepting the Baynards, the Barries were even more terrible to them afterwards. Double standards much? Ok, I got sidetracked. Let’s go back to 1x3.

The whole scene of Anne meeting Moody and Charlie has me laughing out loud, from the “I’m Moody” - “I’m sorry” exchange, which makes me think that Moody’s name is dad joke material, to Diana’s “Don’t talk to the boys. They’re ridiculous.” And then she mentions Gilbert Blythe in a way that makes me think - am I correct in assuming she had some sort of feelings for him, too? Did every girl have a crush on him but repress it in favour of Ruby? What would Ruby say about that?

These girls have me in stitches, a much needed change from the tragedy and drama of the first two episodes. And then... there were many “started from the bottom” moments in this season, naturally, but I think Jane is an exception to the rule. She actually started out pretty well, standing up to her brother for a social outcast she just met, and then in season three she almost supports him in something much more terrible. She had potential. That’s such a glow-down. But hey, not everybody can be Prissy.

“Never let them know when you like them, either” Is that what you do with Gilbert, dear? Because I don’t think you’re very good at it. But it seems that Anne took that advice a bit too literally. That would explain a lot of her actions throughout the series.

Wait, Mrs. Andrews was one of the ladies who invited Marilla into the Progressive Mothers? Seems like Prissy turned out to be more her mother’s daughter than her father’s, then. But it’s a bit of a mystery to me how a progressive woman married a man who takes his son’s side when he assaults a girl... Seriously, the whole Andrews family is a mystery to me. First we have Prissy and Billy, who grow up to be like their mother and their father respectively - while being raised by both parents; and then there’s Jane whose character development is in the wrong direction if it’s there at all. I can’t figure them out at all.

Anne and Diana’s polar opposite reactions to long division is a perfect illustration of their vastly different backgrounds. While privileged Diana is long done with long division, Anne just realises how far behind she is because she’s spent her young life working in abusive households instead of getting the least bit of proper education. It just makes you wonder how she managed to become such an avid reader when she never seemed to have any proper formal education. But there is the case of Matilda Wormwood who taught herself to read even in the worst possible environment, so why not?

I’m glad the age difference between Mr. Phillips and Prissy is at least acknowledged by someone... while I wouldn’t quite describe him as “old”, he’s more than old enough to make a relationship with 16-year-old Prissy wildly inappropriate and an outright crime by today’s standards. I’m so glad things turned out the way they did for Prissy in the end.

Wait, so people back then used to think that a simple touch between a male and a female meant intimate relations? No wonder the girls reacted the way they did when the time came to dance with boys in season 3. This, along with the entirety of 3x5, is solid proof how badly these young people need proper sex ed... unfortunately, they won’t be getting it. They’re pretty much on their own when it comes to that.

I have no idea how i’m going to endure seeing Mr. Phillips for the rest of the season. And half of the second one. He’s one of those people that just make you wonder how on earth they ever became teachers. Like, even if he was somehow convinced he wanted to become one when he was young, how did people responsible for his higher education let him proceed to that profession with a character like his? Internalised homophobia or whatever Freudian excuse people may think of for him is certainly no excuse for the way he’s treating Anne in this scene. But can I take a moment to share a weird observation I just made - it just so happens that Anne starts her acquaintance with both her teachers in the series by spreading rumours - although accidentally.

“Are they in love?” - “When it comes to intimate relations, I’m not sure it matters.” Anne just spoke a dark truth without realising it. Although her knowledge is vague and filled with unusual euphemisms, she seems to have realised something important - love and physical intimacy aren’t mutually required in a relationship - unfortunately. I don’t even want to talk about it. Maybe I’m just not the right person to discuss such matters.

Talk about abusive household... even Anne, a very young girl with no sex ed, realised Mr. Hammond habitually raped his wife when he would get drunk... imagine the horrors the poor girl has endured in that family - and the horrors the members of the family themselves have had to go through on a daily basis... and now the girls are isolating Anne because of what she’s experienced... let’s skip ahead.

“Feminism... what exactly does it mean”? Well, ask Anne Shirley- Cuthbert - I’m sure she can explain it to you. Because you ladies insist on calling yourselves progressive, but some of you seem to not understand that true feminism is about treating all, and that means absolutely all women as equal to each other and to men.

“Especially for those who are unlikely to marry” - what exactly do you mean by that? Is a girl who doesn’t get married before 17 somehow less worthy of respect in your opinion? I don’t know exactly who that woman thinks she is, but I didn’t like the suggestion in her tone...

I’m just glad Anne plucked away the flowers from her hat before Marilla could see them... of course, she should be free to wear as many flowers on her hat and in her hair as her heart desires, but such is the situation that she can’t afford to do it right now.

Is this the same Rachel Lynde who represented women in a council made up entirely of men? The one who insisted on adding three more women to it? The one who offered Marilla as one of those women? Well, of course you could argue she is not the same Rachel - she was later changed by Anne, like pretty much everyone else in Avonlea. And I’m glad that such a change took place. Because imagine where Avonlea, nay, where the world would be without Anne Shirley- Cuthbert. How dare whoever is responsible for the cancellation take her away from us?

“I reckon every new idea was modern once - until it wasn’t.” Matthew is just about the best man of them all since day one. In Matthew we trust.

“You know, there’s a difference between having an opinion about something and pronouncing judgement” - Marilla just put Rachel in her place by pointing out the fine line between voicing your opinion and acting like your opinion is the only valid one. Good on you, Marilla!

Anne is so dedicated to catching up and advancing further in her education... no wonder she ended up tying with Gilbert for first place at the Queens exams. Speaking of Gilbert, I just can’t wait to see him for the first time again. Is that coming soon?

I just can’t help admiring Anne more and more with every scene... she’s so optimistic about each new day that it just gives me hope that the sun will, indeed, come out tomorrow. Oops, wrong optimistic red-headed orphan... anyways, if the sun doesn’t come out, there’s still Jerry’s refreshing sarcasm and snarky one-liners.

Billy has some nerve calling Anne out for saying “nasty stuff” about his sister - sure, what she said wasn’t the most innocent of things, but she certainly didn’t mean it that way. Besides, Billy himself will go on to do way nastier stuff to another poor girl - and never realise the dramatic irony. Because he’s the classic straight white entitled man, one of those people you just can’t like. No matter what they do.

There he is... couldn’t arrive at a better time, could you, Gil? This is one of my top 5 favourite moments of his throughout the entire series. It’s literally the equivalent of seeing a girl being attacked by a guy and talking to him as if he’s a civilised person instead of taking up his own aggressive tone, and I love that they chose to introduce Gilbert in such a context of all possibilities. “Any dragons around here need slaying?” Gilbert Blythe is a true knight in shining armour and he knows it.

“Miss? What’s your name? Miss?” And thus begins the story of the two most confused teenagers in Canada, the slowest of all slow burns, the love story to end them all. A shaky start, sure, but it’s a start.

“You can’t talk to Gilbert Blythe. You can’t even look at him.” Can you believe they’ve come from here to the point where they unanimously decided Anne was the only one who could ask Gilbert how babies are made... isn’t it ironic? But, I mean, from this episode all the way to the end, she did a very good job of convincing every one of them, including herself, that she didn’t care a single bit about Gilbert.

I just can’t get over Anne’s reciting... she’s certainly managed to get all eyes on her - but mostly Gilbert’s, with the most expressive pair of eyebrows above them... once again, Anne has made a strong impression... one that some liked and some will surely condemn - but it’s their loss.

There goes that scene... the notorious apple from the notorious Blythe orchard we never got to see Shirbert in. And I have to say, Anne might have made a good ventriloquist. Too bad she’s not supposed to talk to Gilbert because... girl code is a thing. They won’t accept her as one of their own, yet she must play by their rules. It just seems unfair.

Do the people of Avonlea have no sense of relativity and context? A bad rumour shouldn’t be taken so dramatically when it is a prepubescent girl who’s spreading it. She should be forgiven on account that she just didn’t know better. Instead, the very same story was repeated years later with Josie, where, again, nobody cared to gauge the circumstances - Anne only intended to defend Josie, not tarnish her reputation. It’s just the skewed priorities of the time that caused things to turn out the way they did.

And this is the little moment that most likely started the spark in Jerry’s mind about wanting an education - just a simple remark from Anne that happened to contain a word he didn’t understand. They do say that it takes just one spark to start a fire. This little boy of mine is going far. Not without Anne, though. The two of them took their time to warm up to each other, but who could stop them when they finally did?

Gilbert is positively going to waste all of his chalk if throwing it at Anne is how he intends to get her attention. I have to say pulling on her braid was a bit too childish for him based on how he was established, but hey, we all have our moments, and for Gilbert, this is one of the most iconic ones in the source material, so why would anyone change it? Anne’s story wouldn’t be authentic if she didn’t crack her slate over Gilbert’s head. This immortal Anne of Green Gables scene was impeccably delivered by the infinitely talented cast of AWAE.

Taking away the E and the Cuthbert from Anne’s name was a cruel thing to do. I can’t tell you how I trembled when I read this scene in the book years ago, just because of the E and how it felt like salt in the cuts left by what had just transpired, but now, the Cuthbert, too - the one thing that is solid proof to Anne that she belongs there - that she belongs to someone who finally accepts, maybe even loves her as she is - that, I have to say, is an awfully terrible thing to do to a young orphan if we look at it through Anne’s eyes. And let’s admit it, we all did in that moment if not in any other.

Storming off is what any sensitive young girl with a strong sense of justice like Anne would do in her place, and, to her credit, she did walk out in dignity at least up to the schoolhouse’s door. I have to say she handled the situation way, way better than I ever could have.

I mean, I would have reacted the same way as Anne when she said she was never going back to school, but let’s think for a second. There’s a little boy in the barn who would gladly take her place. Because going to school, however challenging at times, is a privilege. She should take a moment to catch her breath and realise that.

To sum up, in this episode we saw: Anne’s shaky first day of school; the introduction of all of Anne’s schoolmates; the accidental scandal concerning a supposed scandalous accident; the Andrews family never ceases to puzzle me; “progressive mothers” being not so progressive; Marilla and Anne face similar bad treatment from their respective peers; a shaky start to the slowest of slow burns; a spark is ignited in Jerry; a broken slate and more than one broken heart.

#anne with an e #anne with an e spoilers #awae #awae season 1 #anne shirley cuthbert #gilbert blythe #diana barry #jerry baynard #ruby gillis #moody spurgeon #jane andrews #billy andrews #prissy andrews #marilla cuthbert #matthew cuthbert #in matthew we trust #feminism #jnk watches awae

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finderskeepersff · 5 years

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70. Part 8

“So this is how it is, you can call me but I can’t call you?” Celine said “not exactly, I am just checking on my nephew” moving the cheques to the side on my desk “does Sofia know you are calling me, I bet she don’t” I sniggered “what if I ask her if she does? You can snigger all you want” she is funny “she will tell you to fuck off, she don’t fuck with you. I am asking about my nephew, you the one making it something deeper” she is so dumb “no, because I know you. I don’t want to know you but I do because as soon as shit goes sideways you flip the switch on me and make out that it is me when it is you, I am fine with my son now. Happy actually” chewing my on my top lip “not what you wanted to hear right?” things are going to shit for me, there is no fucking doubt about that “like I said I am asking on my nephew” Celine sighed out “you’re upset, do you want a hug? Fly over” clearing my throat “not really, I want you to do me something” Celine scoffed “fuck you, no. I am fine, I don’t want to do anything like that. My son comes first” I snorted laughing “but he don’t, I mean in reality he doesn’t. I mean you have no choice. You’re going to do it either way, Ethan will contact you with the details” sitting back in my seat “do you miss me Cassius, I think you miss my voice. I know you do” licking my lips “I think I got the better cousin, thanks” Celine laughed “she is better looking than me but she ain’t me” rubbing the top of my head “I don’t actually, but it reassures me that I could have you still” Celine chuckled “wow, ok but I think not. Go to your perfect little woman, I don’t really want you and Ethan can fuck off and actually Cassius if you want to kill me then do it, make sure it’s your hands around my neck. You have done that plenty of times” Celine disconnected the call, moving the phone away from my ear and then throwing my phone on the desk, I did generally just wanted to know about my nephew and she made it about her.

Hearing a knock on my office door “what is it?” That ain’t Sofia anyways “it’s me, Josiah” he opened the door a little, waving him in “you said I would hear it last night” I did say that “that bang of the door shutting woke me” pointing at the seat “sit down, yeah. Women for you. I barely did anything, I mean ok I went to the club and had fun, women don’t like you to have fun so she is angry at that” Josiah sat down “I know but she is pregnant, so she is going to be even more sad. I was here when she fell” pulling a face at Josiah “calm down superman, I feel bad she fell I mean of course I do, she carrying my daughter and she fell. I know she is out there waiting to say more shit to me, and I also called Celine” Josiah eyes widened “Cassius, why? She is a bad person, you know that. We don’t fuck with her like that” staring at the desk “I don’t know, but I did and now I’m like why. No matter what, and I said this to Henry, I love Sofia and I do, she has a great heart and she deserves the world but when you’re a guy that is a mess inside, you go to people that are the same as you. Sofia is just not me, Celine is. She is a mess like me, you know. I mean you may not get it but I do” Josiah looked at me in sadness and it looked so genuine “I don’t need your pitty either” Josiah sighed out “I don’t pitty you but I think you like to take pitty on yourself, I mean I could get cussed out right now but hey, I am used to it. You’re at your own pitty party, I ain’t denying that you probably have this weird bond to Celine but you contacting her is not good is it? I think you need to just take it, there is one thing I learnt from mom and dad, when mom was ranting, dad took it because mom was always right, dad was an ass and you’re acting like him” he got balls “how much money do you want now, I told you about what I done” opening the duffle bag “for what?” Josiah said confused “I don’t want money, I am sitting here for you. I mean by all means do what I said, take it and I do think you need to mention you contacted Celine” shaking my head “never, I will never tell her this. Sofia will kick me out of this house, Celine has been a issue for me, for us. I need to call someone, so if you can please” Josiah nodded his head “I will take Cartier out for a while” grabbing my phone from my desk “if you want” he can do what he likes.

Henry wanted to facetime me, like this is different “look at you Cassius, you look so well” Henry said “thank you, I try to be. You look good too, nice beard and shit” I laughed “you like it son, I am trying to connect it but enough of staring at each other. What on earth am I hearing now? I have to see your face, what on earth?” Henry is giving me that displeased look “what did I say about you contacting Celine, this is you asking to enter a dark place” I feel judged “it wasn’t like that, I was asking about my nephew and I needed her to do something for me” I explained “no, this you having a hold onto her, you are creating jobs so you know what she is doing. Start from the beginning what happened? What led you to this?” sitting back in my chair “so that night I called you and we spoke, I didn’t feel any better about myself at all. I did some things and then we done it, I just felt a little not me even though we did it. So we erm, went out, I did. Mind you I didn’t contact Sofia at all, because I wasn’t feeling it. Females were present in my area of the club, but not for me. I got drunk, very drunk that my best friend said I assumed that one of the girls were Sofia and I wouldn’t leave it, I was touchy with her and she was dancing on me, and at that point Kyle was trying to drag me away, I fell, cut myself on the face. So I came back here, I was not in a good mood, took it out on my loved ones because of what I knew I did, told Sofia today and she dragged it out of me that I was aware there was girls there which there was, but that night Sofia fell in the shower and was struggling while I was partying, she is angry with me” I said everything without even looking at the camera “and what did calling Celine solve? Did you feel you needed to call her?” I shrugged “or was she the back up plan because Sofia is angry with you, Cassius. Couples argue, we all do and it’s fine. Celine and you have this very toxic connection and we spoke on this, Sofia and you and that was it. You reaching out was you asking to be in a dark place when you are not there Cassius, you made the mistake and you must fix it. We are all damaged inside and it concerns me that you felt our talk was nothing, it’s making me feel do you want to go back there?” shaking my head “but I don’t, I just don’t want to hear Sofia shouting at me” Henry shook his head “women shout, you want to come and see me or shall I come there. You reaching new levels of money now? When you make more money Cassius you turn into this other guy” putting my head down.

Henry and I have been quiet for a while now “I can’t” I shook my head “can’t what?” Henry said “forgive myself, I just can’t do it. No matter how she erm, looks at me and loves me I can’t, I just no. Not me” shaking my head “say it out loud, say it to me. Cassius, you need to say it a loud. It’s me Henry, I know everything about you” hitting my fist on the chair side with my free hand “I forced Sofia to have sex with me, like I did that and created a fucking baby out of it and it’s a fucking girl, there wasn’t no love making, no love story. I fucked Sofia like I did Celine, like she was shit. I was fucking on drugs and did that, you know. I can’t let it go” shaking my head and wiping the tear that fell “brings back memories don’t it, and you made her get rid of it” slamming the phone down on my desk “it was never to do with the girls, I wanted to be numb. I felt better” placing my hands over my face “Cassius, I want you to have some tablets to calm you down” rubbing my face “I don’t want no tablets Henry, I just want to walk away from the situation. You know, how can someone love a person and do that and still be here” I just don’t get it “maybe she wants you to change, she believes in you. You need to let it go Cassius, moving on in life is letting it go and forgiving yourself, you had to do that for your father now do it for you and your future. Why do we see a good guy and you don’t? Am I wasting my time calling you my son, what do you see when you look in the mirror?” I sighed out “a rich nigga” I smiled to myself “and that is your issue, you’re a father and soon to be a husband. That is what you should see, you need to see you are a good man” the door opened and there stood Sofia just staring at me, she is pissed off “Josiah is taking Cartier out, you can go with them” she slammed the door, that was a big bang “can you pick your phone off of the table so I can see you” Henry asked, picking the phone off of the desk “yeah” looking at Henry’ face “you about to put me into a early grave, you speak to her. On the events that happened. You don’t need to speak about anything else, you don’t go. She wants you too” she is about to cuss me out and I don’t want that either “fine” I would actually go with Josiah.

Sofia walked off as soon as walked over to Josiah “buy my son a toy or something” passing Josiah a few hundreds “no, it’s my nephew. I can get him something myself” nodding my head “if you see my clothes outside then just drive by” Josiah laughed “hey dada boy, look at you. You’re all wrapped up warm ain’t you, you be good for uncle ok” leaning down into the car seat and kissing his cheek “I love you boy” holding his hand, smiling at him “aight, be careful ok?” patting Josiah’ shoulder “you need to be careful, she has banged all of the doors today” I probably need it more than him “I know” rubbing my face, I think I have fucked up a lot today. I don’t know what to say to Sofia but sorry, there is nothing I can do and I feel bad but I hope she isn’t too harsh on me. I really wish I could go with Josiah because I will just make shit worse, turning around to go and find Sofia but from the sound of the banging of the door upstairs, she is there.

Knocking on Cartier bedroom door, I can hear the vacuum cleaner going off in here so she is here. Pushing open the door, and I didn’t step inside I just rested just a little to the side just staring at her. She is acting like she didn’t just near break her hip, she turned the cleaner off “what is it!? I did say for you to go, you run from me anyways” well that is bullshit “not exactly, I thought I would stay behind. I mean obviously we need to talk right?” Sofia shrugged “I don’t know, do we? I am sure you have spoken enough to Henry, huh?. Got your story straight now?” nodding my head “I am just not good enough for you am I? I mean I can’t be, anybody in love would want to come home but you didn’t, I think I have accepted that I won’t be anyways, I won’t be. Never have been good enough for the man I want attention from, it’s crazy how much attention I get from other men, they actually want me but you was in the club calling a girl that I know was less of me my name. I called Amira, she told me what she knows and said you and Kyle are both dumbasses, so if Kyle wasn’t there what would have happened Cassius?” Sofia crossed her arms across her chest “mhmm?” she walked over to me ever so slowly “I want to hear it from your mouth, put the cleaner away. I will be downstairs” Sofia walked by me.

Put the cleaner away she says, I don’t know where this shit goes. It’s a little heavy too, reaching the bottom of the steps “erm, Sofia” she is going to bark at me for not knowing “where does it go?” I asked dragging it along “it’s heavy” Sofia glared at me “heavy huh? I carried that up and you complain that it’s heavy, it goes in the cleaning cupboard where we have the security system” letting out an oh, let me put it back. I didn’t know she put the cleaning things here, placing the cleaner inside and closing the door. I think I am more nervous to speak to Sofia then I was about the shipment, it’s hard having to explain yourself to a loved one. Sofia just sat down on the couch as I got inside the room “so did you get an answer?” walking slowly over to the couch “what was the question?” Sofia placed her cup on the table “don’t make me ask it again” sitting down, but not close to her “I probably would have woke up with another female in my hotel bed” I mean that is the truth, that would have happened “wow! And you want me to be all calm about this, you know how bad that is? So would you like to tell me the real story instead of your half assed fucking shit” I sighed out “you asked me to say it, I am not going out of my way to cheat” I said “I said speak!” she spat, why do women need to shout I just don’t get it “so I went to the warehouse, Kyle said we should celebrate and I was like I mean if that is what everyone wants. So we went, Kyle stayed behind to finish and I went ahead. Went into the club, I mean you have been there it’s your favourite place, there is a VIP section, I went there. The boys also came with me and we got there” rubbing my hands together “and you didn’t think of me at that moment, not even a text, but continue” I sighed out “so the drinks came, we had shots first. I had it, my intentions was to just go there for a while until Kyle came but when I had that first shot, the fact it burned my throat, just the feel of it numbing my insides, I enjoyed the feeling. So I had another shot, and then I had a bottle of Vodka with me, there was females there that wanted to come in, one of the boys asked and I said yes. About ten of them came in, and during that time I was drinking and yes one of them girls was talking to me and yes I was aware but we was just talking, I told her that I have a son and then I remember I was sick. After that it was blurry until I woke up the next day naked, I was naked because Kyle told me I stripped naked and got in bed, I woke up in Kyle’ hotel room, he got me home. I was sick in the morning thinking I did and I was scared, I cried. Then Kyle said I didn’t, but I kept saying she was Sofia but from what I remember she was nothing on you” Sofia rolled her eyes “you men love trash, you just love it. All of you are just that, why couldn’t you come home to me?” that is a hard question to answer.

Clearly Sofia wants me to answer it, she wants me to answer why I couldn’t “the plan was to come home, I was coming home. That is all I want to be is with you both, I just got caught in the moment, I was feeling myself that night and it just escalated Sofia” Sofia glared at me “get Henry on the phone, I want to ask him something. Hurry up about it too” getting my phone out, I wonder what she wants to ask him. Unlocking my phone “why though?” I asked, tapping Henry’ number “you will hear it, you’re here ain’t you” putting it on loud speaker and placing my phone on the table “am I good enough for you Cassius, I am questioning myself about this because I don’t think I am. I think maybe you need something I can’t give you, I am not good enough for you, I think I am right in this” shaking my head “don’t say that” Henry picked the phone up “Sofia wants to speak to you” I said before he even spoke “that is fine, Sofia hello. How are you?” I wonder what she is going to ask him “hi Henry, I am sure he has told you everything. I don’t need to explain to you, but from 1 to 10, with 1 do not care and 10 being the worst case scenario. Do you think Cassius will let me live without him?” Sofia stared at me with every word that she said “ten, I answered for him” I said “I say one” Sofia thinks she is funny “you want to bet?” she said “bet, why you think you’re funny. You’re like the rest, leave me. Do it but you ain’t taking my kids, they with me” I spat “they wouldn’t let some drug dealer have my kids, they are mine” now she is trying to piss me off “now you listen to me Cassius, and you too Henry. You didn’t cheat, good for you. I was fucking here for you while you was in Texas, I sat here looking after your son, keeping your shit together. I sat here faithful to you, and you can’t even repay me by just being normal, by not being a dickhead. Now you hear me out Cassius before you spit your pacifier out, I am leaving for Barbados tomorrow, you either come or you don’t but if you don’t then I think we both have other dreams because this ain’t working Cassius, saying I love you don’t fix anything. You’re busy, you’re too busy being a business man now to care for me. Me? I am still in pain from falling but you see me cleaning, you get on with it. Did you ask me how I feel even after you conditioned your own guilt into taking me to the hospital because you felt bad, now Henry tell your client what to do” Sofia got up from the couch “you men are so full of shit” she walked off, grabbing my phone “I don’t need Henry” throwing my phone.

I cringed hearing his phone break against the wall, I am not going to cry. There is nothing to cry about, I think I have cried all of those tears when I left him in Texas and I needed him, being alone makes me know I am ok, I don’t need him. I have everything I want, it’s a shame because I know Cassius is my soul mate but he is just so far from me, I don’t feel him. He is hot and cold and I can’t deal with it, and I know what is going to happen now. He is going to act out, I haven’t even left him but I have planted that seed in his head, I am going Barbados and it’s either with him or without him, I need a fucking break and I wish he doesn’t come because it will be a good break without him. It’s funny how I haven’t cried about this, it’s just funny because I think I felt it from him. The way he was, the way he became cold to me but was torturing me as well as himself because of his mistake. Closing my bedroom door, he is so angry downstairs, Henry is calling my phone now “hello” answering the phone “yes, he is having a tantrum” I answered “he is still recovering Sofia, you know he won’t take well to letting you go anywhere” Henry said “but it will happen, point blank” I shrugged “what do I need to know, tell me” I asked him “I think Cassius needs more help and I want to see him, he is stuck between wanting to be with you and make more money. I think you could be the hep but also the cause, he keeps on saying he harmed you. But if he wants to go with you to Barbados maybe that is a good thing” this is not fair, I want him to stop bringing that up “you know he don’t want to be lonely, he did what he did and I think we need to see the issue, his intentions was there” the bedroom door opened “if you broke anything downstairs, I swear to god” turning around “sure Henry” disconnecting the call, throwing my phone onto the bed and walking into the bathroom, he can do as he pleases.

I was much more careful with having a shower, the bruise is awful still but I needed a shower and I needed to just de-stress a little bit, just to be away from Cassius. I am not upset, I am not even crying that I care, just angry more than anything. Tightening my towel around my body, I am not big headed about shit but who wouldn’t want to marry me, I am not a crazy bitch and I fucking cook and I am not ugly I just don’t get it. Unless there is something wrong with me and I don’t see it, it must be that. Unlocking the bathroom door, either Cassius is waiting for me or he is on the balcony smoking or he has ran off but I will find out now. Dragging open the door, it was the first option “could have put the heating on” sat here for nothing, making my way to the walk in closet. When Cassius and Josiah said I was banging, it wasn’t even that. I was packing the suitcases, and I dropped them when I tried to get it out of storage. I am preparing for the worst, I have two suitcases, if the worst happens then I am staying in Barbados for as long as I can until I am close to giving birth but if he does come then I will have to cut it short. Pushing the suitcase out of the way to get to my drawer “you really going tomorrow?” Cassius said “yep, me and Cartier” opening my drawer “so you’re taking Cartier away from me?” grabbing my comfy pants, I cannot be bothered with a thong right now “I am taking my son with me, he needs to be with his mother Cassius. Least I know you have decided” closing my drawer turning to him “least we can do this now, get this over with. I think we both do want different things don’t we?” pulling my pants up “it’s fine Cassius, I rather you admit that now then be married to something you really didn’t want in the first place. I guess I can thank you for giving me a second baby, you’re probably thinking why am I not crying about it, I don’t have the tears Cassius, I have cried enough when you was high out of your mind, there is nothing else that can go wrong” walking by Cassius, feeling a hand on my arm “don’t touch me, was this the hand that touched another female huh” turning to him “get off my arm, don’t touch me Cassius. You don’t deserve me, you was touching other girls so get off me” Cassius let my arm go and dropped down to his knees in front of me “don’t leave me” Cassius put his hands over his face as he sobbed out “please don’t leave me” I hate when he cries “you chose what you wanted, I said what I am doing. You just need to choose what you want” I knew I should have walked off because Cassius decided to latch onto my leg “Cassius, please. I don’t have the strength to fight you on this” pushing at his shoulder “I thought it was you Sofia, I thought it was you. I swear Sofia, I thought it was you. I wanted you, I wanted to come to you but I didn’t. Please don’t leave me over this, I want you” rubbing my face “just get off my leg” rolling my eyes as he did.

Moisturising my face while staring at myself in the mirror and yes Cassius right behind me, he is just watching me do everything “you know what Cassius, I don’t think I want you to actually come to Barbados, you don’t want to go so you being there is going to be just negative as shit, you can just stay here. And then hopefully you find a girl that is worthy of you, I just really can’t be bothered, I just want to go tomorrow and I can’t wait. Also you have a business to run” I don’t want to ruin that “this is Cartier’ first time on holiday, on an actual holiday I ain’t missing that” I laughed, I turned around to look at Cassius “I really think we want different things Cassius, I think you want a woman to just not care for things like marriage, dates, to be actually home, to want to be loved. I think you need someone to be a nut rag. What I want from you is not going to happen, it’s not is it” hearing a knock at the door “Sofia, I am back” Josiah said as he knocked on the door again, walking by Cassius “come in!” I spat, I have such a headache right now “he missed momma didn’t you” Josiah said as he walked into my room “awww, how was it. He wasn’t being a pain was he?” Cartier is wide awake, his little face smiling at me “not really, he was good” taking Cartier from Josiah and kissing his cheek “Josiah, tomorrow I will be going to Barbados. So you can stay here if you want, Cassius will be here so don’t worry about it” Josiah let out an oh as he looked behind me “I won’t be here, I am going with you” unzipping Cartier’ jacket “so he says” I mumbled “but I am glad Cartier had a good time, mommy going to make some food for you. You must be hungry and then I can put you to bed early because we got to leave early” wiping just under Cartier’ nose with my hand.

I would say dinner is very awkward, it is so quiet. It is only Cartier that is making all of the noise while I feed him “you like my homemade food don’t you” he is enjoying it “this is nice Sofia, I wonder if Cassius is going to cook like this for me” Cassius side eyed Josiah “I am joking, look are you both going to make up? Y’all like my parents, not in a weird way but I don’t like to see my brother upset as well as you” I shrugged “he does what he wants, who am I” Cassius is hating that I just don’t care "Sofia I am sorry, I don’t say sorry to many people in my life but you I do because I want to make shit right for you, I do Sofia. No girl would be like you” Cartier slapped the table on his high chair “ok, sorry” he is demanding his food “Cassius I can’t help you if you’re going to continue to bring up what I don’t want to hear, I would do so much for you Cassius. I would do anything for you and yet I feel I got half assed shit from you. Why did you want to feel numb, from me?” wiping Cartier’ mouth “from me” he answered “you know what Cassius, I want you to go to sleep early. Because we have a early flight in the morning, I want you to go upstairs and pack your shit and then we will take it from there” smiling at Cartier, he is so damn goofy.

Cassius did go upstairs, he didn’t exactly put his things away because he couldn’t find a suitcase but he left his things on the side but I just put it away. When I went upstairs, he was asleep and I know when Cassius is actually sleeping and when he’s not but he actually was. I was going to give it a few more days before I went Barbados but I want to go, it’s time, I need a break away from this country and this lifestyle. I just need to make sure my house is all clean, I am going to let Josiah stay here, that way he can make sure nothing goes down, I don’t have a time limit on how long, when I feel I want to to come back, I will “you really love my brother don’t you?” wiping the kitchen counter “I wish I didn’t, I am a fool I would say” I really must be “he loves you though, I know he does. He is just lost Sofia, I want him to win because he does deserve it. And also I didn’t want you to leave him here, he would make everyone’s life a living hell, I am happy you are taking him” I snorted laughing “really? So you really happy because I am taking him with me?” Josiah chuckled “Sofia he would be awful, you do have a hold on him. You put him to bed, I ain’t seen that shit since we was in school” shaking my head laughing “I don’t know, see how Barbados goes. Might be able to actually break into him with the fact he can’t just storm out, different vibe and all that” I hope anyways “I hope so too” we are all hoping for one thing.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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minjiwritesstuff · 5 years

Text

Guardian Angel

Pairing: Hyungwon x reader

Genre: Angst, fluff

Words: 1,8k

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You were sitting in the car, talking on the group chat with the three of your friends, which included your best friend, your other friend Millie and the only guy in the group, Hyungwon. You were happy but that was until your mom received a notification on her phone, phone that you were watching because she was waiting for an answer from your aunt. Your mother told you to not worry, that it wasn't happening and you believed her, even though you knew, ever since you were young, that your parents would one day split, you simply didn't know when. But after discovering that your mother was on dating app, your trust in her that was so strong after all those years declined. It fell down like a wall after being hit by a wrecking ball, not piece by piece like a house that is getting way too old to hold on still. The same night you discovered it, you couldn't keep it to yourself and tell your best friend. You broke down in tears while walking in the streets of your hometown, the streets you knew way too well because your town wasn't huge. Your friend tried to comfort you as you told her about how scared you were of the separation, but not because of your parents splitting, you were actually scared to lose your house. Some people could think it was stupid because it's only a house, but to you it was everything. It was your comfort, it was all of those memories you made in all the 13 years of living in it, it was one of the only places where you felt safe, were you could at least be a bit happy. It was the only place where you felt free to sing and dance at almost any time of the day, which meant a lot to you. That night, you and your friend walked for about half an hour, maybe more before coming back to your house.

After that, everything became a heavyweight you couldn't support anymore. Your mom started going out often, stating she was going to take a coffee with her best friend or your aunt, but you couldn't help but doubt her words. The only thought you had was that she was meeting some random guys from the dating app, but your friend kept saying that it wasn't it, that you were only scared. You tried to believe her but it was hard. One night you came back from your friend's house and found a piece of wrapping on the ground and saw it came from a condom wrapping. The worst thoughts came to your mind and you told your best friend. Once again she said that it was probably because your parents had some good time together while you were gone and that she didn't think your parents would go see somewhere else. You tried to believe her again but it was hard.

It was only about two weeks later that you discovered the whole truth. Your mother and you were heading to make groceries when she announced you that her and your father were splitting, you said that you guessed it would happen one day and your mom started to explain how it was hard to live with your father. You understood because you knew it was true so you said nothing. But what she told you next, you weren't ready to hear it. Your mother announced you that she has a fuck friend, that it has been lasting since one week, confirming all of your thoughts, that she was saying another man, that she slept with someone else, that she cheated on your father. You simply couldn't believe it, the person beside you was not your mother, it simply couldn't be. Your mother was not the type to do this, she was habitually so sweet and caring. You understood that she wanted to think about her own good first now but to the point of cheating on her boyfriend of 23 years? This couldn't be true. Even though she told you that it wasn't supposed to happen like that, that it wasn't supposed to happen this fast, you couldn't forgive her. So you stayed silent and tried hard not to cry.

Now you needed to break the news to your best friend. But how? You thought of more than 20 ways of telling her, but none were good enough, so you simply send her a message.

(y/n)

My mom has a fuck friend, I knew something was odd. It's been like 15 minutes that I wanna tell you so sorry it's a bit rough but I needed to tell you

She was quick to answer.

Best of the best ❤️

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

You both kept talking, you told her about how you weren't able to tell your mom what you were thinking and stuff. She told you to try and relax and think that in a few days you would be out of town, living your best life, which made you smile some.

That was the second hard shot, but sadly not the least. Even though you didn't want to accept it, you'd have to move. Your mother had clearly no intention in keeping the house and your father couldn't afford it. So like every moving, you had to pack your things. So since you were living at your grandma's with your mom, you and your mom were going back to the house to make some boxes. Almost every time you went, you heard your parents talking loudly and almost fighting, which you couldn't stand. So you grabbed your phone and wrote a message, saying how you were done with your parents, mostly your mother, and that you wanted to just go away for a few days to get away of all this shit. But instead of writing it twice, you sent it to both of your friends at the same time by clicking on their name. But little did you knew, you sent it to Hyungwon at the same time. At first, you didn't notice and kept doing some boxes in your room while listening to music to calm you down, and also to make sure you wouldn't hear your parents but after a while, you heard a ding and raised your eyes to look at your phone and noticed Hyungwon's contact name

Wonwon 🐢❤️

What's wrong? What's happening with your parents? Are you ok?

You took your phone and groaned.

- Fuck, you cursed while sitting on your bed beside your cat.

Yours and Hyungwon's relationship was a bit special because you were close, to him you were like his little sister and plus you had feelings for him so you didn't tell him about your parents because you didn't want him to worry about you. Seeing that you weren't answering, Hyungwon sent you another message.

Wonwon 🐢❤️

(y/n)?

You sighed and opened the message.

(y/n)

I didn't mean to send you this actually… 😔 I'm sorry Wonnie… I didn't mean to hide it from you but I didn't want you to worry…

Wonwon 🐢❤️

What's happening?

(y/n)

To do quickly, my parents split, my mom cheated on my dad, she has a fuck friend and we're moving

Wonwon 🐢❤️

Oh shit… I'm sorry… If you need anything just tell me, I'll always be there for you

(y/n)

Yeah, I know Wonnie, thanks 💙

Wonwon 🐢❤️

If you want maybe we could do something together so it can change your mind, anything 😊

(y/n)

Yeah it would be nice 😊

Wonwon 🐢❤️

Alright, then we have to do this soon

(y/n)

Yeah

A few weeks later, you were in your car driving to this abandoned road you and Hyungwon liked to go. When you got there, you saw Hyungwon's car so you parked yours beside and got out, looking for your friend. You walked a few meters and saw him near a tree. You smiled some and walked to him.

- Hey, he said while smiling when he saw you.

- Hey, you answered a bit shyly.

It was weird how you were still shy around him even though you guys were close and that he considered you like his sister.

- How you feeling? Hyungwon asked as he started walking on the cracked road.

- I could be better… I haven't been feeling great lately. I mean, with the stress of moving and everything… And plus my mom is a real pain in the ass these days… She always has that mad expression on her face, and she's always rude, I can't deal with her anymore, I'm sick of it, you said before sighing.

Hyungwon looked at you and sighed at his turn.

- Yeah, must be annoying.

You nodded and walked. You and Hyungwon kept talking until after about half an hour later when you said something that didn't really please Hyungwon.

- Sometimes I feel like it would be easier if I wasn't there.

You didn't mean it as if you were dead, but that's what Hyungwon understood from it.

- Stop this (y/n), do you know how scared I am? I'm so scared you'll do this that we can't undo. I'm scared you'll hurt yourself, you did it once and that's more than enough, he said grabbing your arm where a white scar from a few years was still visible.

- Hyungwon… You know I won't do any of this…

- No, I'm not sure! It's not I don't trust you, but you said the exact same thing before cutting your arm 5 years ago! When you did that you scared me to death! Do you know how much blood there was on the floor when I found you? I thought you were dead, (y/n)! I don't want to find you in this situation ever again ok? Why do you think I protect you this much since a few weeks?

- I… I don't know, you said while tears fell down on your cheeks.

You weren't scared or sad that Hyungwon was acting like this, but you were crying because you realized how he cared about you. He and your best friend were the only ones that showed this much how they cared for you.

- Because I have this bad feeling something will happen to you and I don't want this to happen. You're my friend for God's sake, I've always cared for you and I'll always do.

Hyungwon took a deep breath and sighed. He then looked at you and took you in his arms, putting a hand in your hair while your forehead was resting on his chest.

- Fuck I love you (y/n)! I never told you because I was scared to but I love you ever since I found you in your room! It made me realize that you mean so much to me.

Hyungwon stopped talking after this, only holding you close to him. Habitually the silence would have been awkward, but right now it was reassuring. It took a few more minutes for you to calm down and you looked at Hyungwon. Only with your look, he understood that you loved him too so he kissed your forehead softly.

- I promise to protect you for the rest of my life, I'll always be by your side. I'll be your guardian angel and make sure you're the happiest, you deserve nothing but that.

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This is a bit long, sorry. I hope you guys liked it! (sorry if there are some typos and mistakes!!)

#hyungwon #hyungwon imagines #monsta x #monsta x imagines

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thedungeonsbat · 5 years

Text

Muggle Love (Chapter 8)

A/N; This is my favorite so far and I hope you enjoy it equally.

________________________

Chapter 8

You opened the door to find Carl, smiling broadly at you. You did not expect to see him after you told him you'd be busy for the evening but here he was, stubborn as ever. He would not leave you alone even if you told him to.

"Happy Birthday!" He wished you and pulling you into a tight and loving embrace. You gladly hugged back and muttered a 'thank you'.

"Too bad you could not celebrate with us, so I thought I'd drop by to give you this gift, " He handed you the gift and you examined it with curiosity even though you were quiet certain what it was, "Don't open it now." He said, giving his warmest smiling and you kept smiling at the box which was nicely wrapped in a navy blue paper with a white ribbon on it. You felt so lucky and thankful to have such a great friend.

"Thank you so much, Carl. You're just... amazing," He huffed and you added, "I mean it, really." You felt guilty that he came all this way to wish you and you could not even invite him in and your smile vanished.

"Anything for my best friend." He said cheerfully and the smile returned, it could not be helped because he was always too good at it. "I know you're busy tonight but it was important to give you something special on your special day." You sarcastically raised a displeased eyebrow at him.

"Its not so 'special' to me and you know it. Thanks though, really." You hugged him once again, this time even tighter than before.

"Easy there." And you pulled away, meeting his eyes again and you could tell he was worried. You told your friends you'll be working and he did not like the fact that you had been pressurizing yourself to study. He was indeed a very great friend and he had been supporting you throughout the year.

"I wish I could stay but I have to go. Bye and Happy Birthday again." He said and you replied to him with another 'thanks' and 'goodbye'. Guilt was riding over you now... You felt like you drove him off. You knew he was lying about having 'work'.

You saw him disappear in the darkness of the night that was spreading. You had just noticed it was getting darker. You checked your watch, it was eight. "Funny thing, time." You thought.

With a sigh, you moved inside to the room where Severus was.

"Who was it?" He asked in his almost demanding voice.

"Carl, a friend." You told shortly.

"The dark-haired guy from your college?"

"That's him."

"Why was he here? And what is that?"

You tried to smile and look up to him, "It's a present. It's my birthday."

"Your birthday?" He said coldly but was stunned for a couple of moments and when you did not say anything while also trying to avoid his gaze he continued, "Why did you not tell?"

You faced him remorsefully and you weren't sure how he'd react now, "I am so sorry...I just..." You could find the proper words that could possibly justify your hiding your own birthday. You saw him moving towards you,

"Firstly, Happy Birthday (Y/N), ... but why? I could have come some other day if you'd have told me.." He said, his voice was not so cold this time but you could hardly make out if he was.... hurt?

You were so scared that you had hurt him and if it was so, you'd not be able to forgive yourself because no matter how hard this man seemed on the exterior, you knew he cares. He was a human like everybody else around you, just a bit distant and different and that was possibly what made you like him. You cared for him and he for you.

"I- I was so looking forward to seeing you and this was probably the only chance, I could not possibly miss it, Severus. I am sorry I didn't tell you.." You replied, hoping he would understand and it seemed like he did because he did not say anything for another few seconds. You could feel his gaze soften.

"(Y/N), I can't say its ok, neither do I know what to say..." It was probably the first time he really did not know what to say and it was because of you. You blamed yourself for all of this.

Your guilt was greater than ever as you saw him struggling for words that won't hurt you or offend you in any way, after all it was your birthday. Even though he did not like it and never really celebrated his in his life, he respected the fact that for others (basically you) it was special. He certainly did not want you to be sad.

Tears were threatening to fall from your eyes but retreated as you heard him say just the to fill your heart with warmth and drive the guilt away. After giving a sigh, he tried to smile but only managed a very weak one,

"The pie was great." He said, turning away. He was trying to completely change the topic, only to not put you in an awkward situation. Besides, no person he had known had 'looked forward to seeing him' and if it was because of him you did not celebrate your day, he was sure as hell not gonna make you regret it.

You, lost for words, had parted your lips in surprise but soon replied him with, "Th- Thanks, it's my dad's recipe." You could not believe that he, a man with such a cold personality, would do that to make you feel better. You did not accept this possibility because you did not want your hopes too high.

"Your father's? He must be a nice cook then." He said turning to you again and his low, icy voice calmed you because it meant he was back to his normal state. He continued, "Since you did not celebrate with your friends, I suppose you will have to spend the evening with me." He straightened himself.

"What?" You asked, surprised by his kind move. He raised his eyebrows, not really expecting this kind of reaction. "I mean, thank you so much, " You said approaching him, "But you don't need to do this, Severus. You coming here was already enough-"

"No, it wasn't and besides, it was I who enjoyed the dinner. I did not even bring you a present and now… you'll do what I tell you." He demanded and now you knew there was no way you could refuse him and somewhere deep down, you did not want to. Also, he praised your food and you finally smiled, much to his satisfaction.

He moved towards the door, gesturing you to follow.

"Where to?" You asked half-excited and half-nervous. But you were finally overcoming the previous mood.

"You'll see." He smirked. You had realized by now how he always liked to keep you guessing.

You two were now walking outside in the dark. The weather was pleasant and what made the atmosphere a hundred times better was his presence. You walked side by side for a long time, you were not complaining as it was one of the best walks you've had. Your shoulders occasionally brushed against each other, making you blush everytime. He spotted you blushing once and tried to hide a smile as he brought his focus back to the road.

Almost impossible for someone like him, he felt a strange rush of blood in his face too. It would be wrong to say that you two did not trigger certain emotions for each other.

"Severus?" You asked as he turned his head to look at you and you got lost in his onyx eyes again but were brought back to reality when he replied,

"Yes?" He was unsure of what you might ask of.

"There is something I wanted to ask, if you won't mind." You continued. He didn't say anything which hinted you to resume. His attention was already drawn towards you again.

"H-How long will you be gone?" You asked, your volume dropping with each word.

"Almost a year." He said casually as if it did not matter but you were taken aback by his answer.

You stopped dead in your tracks. A year! A year before you'll be able to see him again and judging by the way he told you, it did not bother him a bit. But it bothered you. To the greatest extents.

It seemed like he was not troubled by it but he was. He'll have to spend the year without you and now that Black was on the loose and Harry Potter was in his third year, there was definitely trouble coming. He wished he could spend more time away from all the tension, in calm which he found around you.

"Does that mean you won't be back for a year?!" You asked, catching up with his fast pace which he now slowed down a bit.

"I am afraid, yes." He answered.

"Bu-But you'd come back home for Christmas, won't you?" You asked him expectantly.

He sighed, "My…job demands me to stay." He had hated Christmas or any other holiday since his childhood. But in actual, it wasn't the festive he disliked but rather the fact that he had no one to share them with and for the first time he felt bad that he couldn't be home for Christmas.

"What kind of job is that? You are a professor, aren't you? You should be spending the holiday time at your home, not working. That's nonsense." You said, almost shouting even though you did not mean to. Severus was listening to you dumbfounded. He kinda liked this side of you as he said nothing and his lips curled into a smile. Your cheeks turned Gryffindor red as you saw him being amused by sudden outbreak.

Nothing made you feel as warm as it did when he smiled. It was enough, more than enough in fact, to drive all your anxiety away. What was so special about his smile? You always questioned yourself. There was this weird sensation you felt in your stomach everytime he smiled. You, being a Psychology student knew very well what it meant (the butterflies in your stomach) but never admitted it. Not just his smile, he, in every way felt special.

"I'll.. try." He replied. You hated that he always used just a few words to answer to any of your questions and most of the times, you were left wondering what he meant.

Was he trying to say that he would try to come home? If yes, was it for you? No, it was impossible. Why would he come for you? You were merely his friend and nothing else. But little did you know that no one simply befriends The Severus Snape.

___________________________

After some time he came to a halt and so did you. You were at your destination. You did not know how he did it but you were at your favorite location. The place you loved to visit as a child with your dad whenever you came to London. Even though it was your sorta-permanent home now, you never got enough time to visit this place. You did not even recognize the path maybe because you were too lost in your thoughts.

You recognised it in an instant, who wouldn't. Morden Hall Park was one of the best locations in the whole of London. It looked more magical than ever. You had visited the place in daytime often but it has been years since you had actually gone anywhere for fun, except for the cafes you hung out with your friends at.

You looked around you and you fell in love with that sight. You were trying to capture every thing. The stars twinkling brightly but were dim compared to the moonlight which shone vividly. A gentle breeze was flowing and the leaves' sound of rustling against it was music to the ears. And of course, the River Wandle. The water flowing reflected the stars' light. You walked towards the bridge and Severus followed you. You breathed in the air and could clearly smell the damp grass. It was literally heaven and you had never felt this way and it was all possible because of Severus.

You felt stupid you did not notice the entry. But that wasn't the only weird thing. The park was closed at night and you'd need a special entry if you came this late at night. He did not, for once, stopped anywhere. How? But you were too happy to think about all of that.

"How did you even know?" You turned to ask him only to see him smiling broadly at you. Once again you felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach, now more than ever. He did not say anything, he was keenly observing you while you were almost jumping on your feet. You only chuckled, too pleased with everything around you.

It wasn't only you who felt all that adrenaline rush, something very similar happened to Severus each time you looked at him with your gleaming eyes. It was as if there were actual stars twinkling in your eyes. Watching you so happy, he could not contain his own happiness. His usual empty black eyes were now so full of joy and…affection.

You ran towards him and hugged him like you had never hugged anyone before. You threw your arms around his neck and he slowly wrapped his arms around you.

"Happy Birthday." He whispered in your ear, sending you chills down the spine.

"Thank you, Severus. This is the best birthday present!"

You stayed like that for many moments which felt like forever. You only wished for it to last longer and you weren't alone in hoping for this to never end. You found comfort in each others' arms. You could feel his steady heartbeat as you rested your head in his chest. You were both warm and soon you both pulled back, reluctantly.

Everything felt just perfect. You looked at him and this was it. You had found your paradise in his eyes and in his arms.

"Severus, I am so gonna miss you." Your expression saddened a bit at the thought but you were definetely not gonna let it ruin this precious moment you were sharing with him.

"Me too." He answered while still smiling. Such an answer was completely unexpected from him but not for you. You were different to him. Not just because of you not being of the wizarding kind but this feeling he got when he was around you or even thought of you.

Realising you from the embrace completely, Severus began walking towards the other end of the bridge. And you stood there, confused.

"Don't wanna stay there all night, do you?" He asked sternly but you could swear he was still amused.

You hurried over to him. Then you did something he did not see coming. You interwined your fingers with his and continued walking, hand in hand. His hands were cold yet soft. You were pretty confident about this and you did not regret it one bit.

You rested your head on his shoulder which made him look at you startled but when found you so comfortably nuzzled, he relaxed himself.

After many long years, Severus was truly happy and so were you. What had you ever done to deserve him? You questioned yourself and he wondered the same.

You walked and talked for a very long time. It seemed as if the world had gone silent and you were the only ones left. You told him how you, your brother and father would come here and stand by the river for hours. How you would run to catch your brother when he'd call you 'too slow'. He listened to everything you had to say. He didn't say much even when you forced him to tell something about his childhood or work or anything at all. He might not be the one to tell his stories but he was an amazing listener.

"Sev?"

"Hm?" He replied, facing you. He did not mind you using his nickname but he was reminded of Lily for a moment. The thought of her vanished as soon as you spoke again.

"Thanks, it was the best night I've experienced in ages." You told as you were finally approaching the exit. You hated that it was all gonna be over soon.

"It has been a great pleasure for me too." Believing his words was hard for you but they still meant a lot because there were undoubtedly true.

_______________________

He insisted on walking you home because 'it wasn't safe' for you to go alone. You were a bit cold but with him walking beside you closely, you were a hundred times warmer.

It was time. You had to bid him farewell. You wished he could stay, you longed for him to stay near. Now, you were at the door of your building.

"It's late. You ought to rest, it must have been all very tiring for you."

"It was but I also had the most fun." You said with the smile that had not disappeared once.

"Good night, (Y/N)."

You embraced him for the last time. As you pulled away, he raised his hand to cup your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. Your face reddened and your pupils dilated, so did his. You lightly got up on your toes to kiss his cheek and Severus' usual white face got red. A great number of sensations arose within him.

"Good night, Severus." You almost whispered and you walked into the building. You could not face him, now that your face was bright red and remained like that until you fell asleep.

Severus stood there bewildered but also with this brand new sentiment inside him. He apparated to his house and laid sleepless with your thoughts. This was new.

____________________________

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think and all sorts of feedbacks are most welcome.

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lordeasriel · 5 years

Text

Ok, I’ve read chapters 1-11 of The Secret Commonwealth and this is my set of impressions so far. I’m using the audiobook, which is wonderful and I recommend it! Under the cut for spoilery reasons:

First and foremost, the audiobook: Michael Sheen is A-MA-ZING! And because he did La Belle Sauvage too, lots of voices are recognisable and I love it. Pan sounds a lot like young Malcolm, but less sweet and more sharp and snappish and it’s beautiful. Marcel has hints of Bonneville = Papadimitriou aka disgustingly smooth but scholary and witty. Lyra sounds amazing; Alice and Hannah have the same voices as they did in LBS (i love you michael for this). Malcolm has a mix of Coram’s voice and Asriel’s voice, he sounds worldly and sexy scholarly at the same time, I love it! Olivier sounds like a lil bitch.

I love the part where Lyra is telling Miriam about her origin story and it’s added that she wasn’t sure about the horse, but she liked it. She won’t give up on the romantic vibes of Asriel saving her, first the swordfight, now a horse lmao;

“I saw someone being mudered” Pantalaimon no chills lmao I love this adult Pan, he is so special to me, but then again I always loved him and his grumpy mood.

The Hyperchorasmians: this was such a wild moment, I laughed out loud and was like “is this a self meta?” but someone did brought to my attention it may be a self parody, I love it regardless.

Pantalaimon saying "I do exist (...) we exist” and so on, was really powerful, because it feels like a horrible existential crisis and I get his anger with Lyra and I feel his entitled to it. Right now, they’re struggling with their sense of self, yet they are one, and while Lyra finds that concept interesting, Pan is afraid because the same concept suggests he ain’t even real. In our world, our existential crisis consists of asking “do i exist or not?” but in Lyra’s world, is like asking if only a part of you is real and that’s bloody horrible to even think about.

I love how smoothly Pullman retconned Alice’s age, in “Lyra now thought she wasn’t as old as she first thought” like yeah my man, nice try, but I see through the lies of the jedi your retcon, yet I love it all the same lmao I’m glad she’s alive and well.

I love that remark of Lyra having learned how to charm people and manipulate information out of them with her wits and small talk. That’s such a Marisa trait, at least as I always perceived her and it really made be bubbly and cheerful as I noticed that.

I also noticed how Lyra refers to Asriel either by his name or as Lord Asriel, and she still refers to Marisa as Mrs. Coulter, although she acknowledges them as father and mother when other people refer to them that way. I’m a little sad she doesn’t refer to them as mom and dad, but then again i feel like they never earned that treatment from her and I get it.

Pan suggesting Malcolm and Alice may be lovers and Lyra stares at him then ignores him because the mere thought of it it’s inconceivable LMAO

Lyra remembering Asriel’s moonlight walk with her was too much for me, that’s as emotional as I’m gonna get. It really made me sad that Asriel was living hand to mouth and that he left her nothing; to think that his most recent luxury was his house arrest on Svalbard is, well, sad.

On a happier note, Dr Carne supporting Lyra is my favourite thing. He cared enough about her to actually give her a home and support, and I think people should respect him more. This guy is the father Lyra had, however quirky the entire situation was and I have an immense love for this character.

Oh my God, I cannot believe they kept Lyra in the dark for so long. She is so fucking clueless about everything! What is wrong with those people? Tell the girl everything for fuck’s sake! The moment she snapped I snapped too; for fuck’s sake, she should have known about that stuff the moment she came back from the other worlds. Also, the fact she does not know about Asriel and Marisa is infuriating, but that one I can forgive because they kinda did threw themselves into a fucking void and didn’t wanr anyone about it, so...

HOW THE FUCK IS THE MAGISTERIUM STILL STRONG???? I am so fucking angry! I can understand why it takes a long time for them to dissolve entirely, but they are still strong and influential and Asriel’s war was for absolutely nothing. He and Marisa died for nothing, everyone that died there died for nothing and I am so angry because I hate theocracies with every fiber of my fucking being and I AM SO FUCKING SMAD;

Lyra does mention “the witches of the north” and that got me thinking that there may be more types of witches around the world and that not all of them have split daemons. But I don’t know, just a thought.

I only read 11 chapters, but so far I am 95% percent sure Lyra and Olivier are going to end up together by the end of the third book. I will not elaborate on this now since I have very little to go on with, but I will speak more as I read more. I do not approve of this, but I fear this may be the route Sir Phil is going for. I hope I am wrong.

Malcolm’s description of his feelings for Lyra are creepy and cringe. If he only, I don’t know, “discovered” his feelings for her recently, I could overlook it with a certain frown, but he’s been having those weird ass feelings since she was his student and a minor and that’s creepy, to say the least. I know he acknowledges that what he felt wrong was wrong and weird, and wow, thank god, but the fact he indulges himself on those feelings now that she’s older is weird. I feel like Pullman is deceiving us, I’m just not sure. I love Malcolm, I do, and I am slightly attracted to him now lmaoooo but no, you see? No. Not okay, but as I said before, I don’t think they’re ending up together. I hope I am right.

Also the way Pullman describes it lmaoooo “Malcolm Polstead, age 31, was in love with Lyra” or something like that. It was so funny, I felt like I was read a very well-written fanfiction that suddenly the author had a stroke and wrote as if they’re 12 and in love. It was very cringe, I don’t know, I was embarassed on Malcolm’s behalf.

I really love that Oakley Street is still going strong, sort of lol and that Malcolm is now a member and I hope we get to see more of them. I love spies and I love Oakley Street and I’m sad Nugent is dead.

Makepeace referring to Pan as “my boy” warms my heart because it shows the daemons’ treatment we should see and treat them: they are people and they have feelings and they exist and should be acknowledged. I just cherish the whole conflict between Lyra and Pan because this is what it feels so far: the struggle of being who they are and the pain that comes with it.

I have an unpopular opinion here, but I love the relationship between Pan and Lyra; I love their banter, their fight, their anger with each other. It feels right, although I am sad that they are fighting a lot because of the existence business, I think Lyra is really being inconsiderate with Pan. But, I think their constant disagreement is in-character; they always disagreed with each other, they always were very different from each other, so I love that they struggle with that, it’s just sad that they’re bordering on self-loathing and they need to work on that. I want them to find the spark of love they had, but not to the point where they are clingy again; they’re people and they’re different and they are the same person, so they need to come to terms with that. It really hurt me when Pan had to yell that he exists, that hit so close to home and I don’t know, I felt speechless for a moment.

Pan saying: “You are in a world full of colour, and you wanna see it in black and white” was a powerful. I really appreciate how that argument was handled. It’s beautiful and sad and painful to listen, there’s so much emotion in Lyra.

Back to Malcolm, I think that Pullman is going for a weird route here, not gonna lie. But so far I think that Malcolm’s awareness of its weirdness is alright, I think and as long as he never acts on his feelings, we’re gonna be fine. I want Lyra to end her story alone and with a healthy relationship with Pantalaimon, because that’s what really matters in life.

Now, more Oakley Street: I’m sorry but Glenys Godwin is awesome and I am so happy that a woman is the head of my favourite spy organisation, thank you sir phil for this gift. I love her and her daemon, and that OS is a bit stronger than before. RIP Lord Nugent, thank you for your service, you ruthless bastard.

I do not trust that priest tho; I think it’s cool and stuff, but I just dont trust religious figures in general lmao i hope he is not a traitor.

I don’t know what is wrong with Marcel, but I like him cause he’s clever but I hate him cause he’s a Magisterium bitch. I had the spoiler that he is Seasea’s brother, I had this theory that maybe they’re twins, but so far it hasn’t been mentioned and I am horribly curious. I wonder, did he changed his name? Did Marisa change her name? I thought van zee was canon tbh

Giorgio Brabandt is a man, my friends, and what a man he is. He is AWESOME. I loved him immediately. I love the gyptians in general.

What the heck is happening to those roses?

#effie reads the book of dust #the secret commonwealth #tsc spoilers #i did not mention the whole 'will business' because you guys know how i feel about it so i have nothing nice to say about that either #so i'd rather not pick a pointless fight

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hautekurture · 5 years

Text

[para] the one i want

characters → @hautekurture, @happilyeveranders, and a special cameo.

location → nyc, ny.

timeframe → february 14, 2019

summary → kurt celebrates a stereotypical romcom valentine’s day with blaine, leading to unexpected results.

notes → mentions of parental death, body horror, dysphoria.

Blaine smiles as he places his card on the bill, his eyes never leaving Kurt’s face as they finish their dinner. His boyfriend looks extra wonderful tonight, and Blaine’s happy to see he wasn’t the only one looking forward to St. Valentine’s Day. Everyone complains about it being overproduced, but it’s no different than any other holiday, Blaine thinks. What’s special is how Blaine celebrates it. He reaches over to clasp Kurt’s hand, which he sees, has the decorative ring Blaine gave him over Kurt’s birthday. “Shall we head back to campus?” Blaine says, checking his watch. There’s one more gift Blaine has planned for Kurt, and he can’t wait to see Kurt’s face when he sees it.

Kurt pulled over his black PS Paul Smith breasted overcoat over his patterned Givenchy white shirt. The thorny pattern covered well by the simple jacket, and Kurt swung his colorful Alexander McQueen printed pants over to get up. “Why not,” said Kurt. He smiled at Blaine’s watch checking. Another gift? The Valentine’s Day date was romcom trash involving an Old Hollywood movie, another trip to the Empire State Building, and this fancy dinner. It wasn’t bad however. Although Kurt’s hands were freezing in his Fendi Karl Gloves, holding Blaine’s similarly gloved hand as they strolled back to campus made the cold winds bearable.

By the time they were at Sciron Square, Kurt was feeling the playful mood, which was a stark difference whenever he saw the emptying dormitories day by day. Flipping his Offwhite Intarsia scarf out of the way, when Blaine opened the door for him and Kurt followed him to the lobby of the dorm, Kurt too had a very intense itch to put his hands on his boyfriend. He initiated by wrapping his arm around Blaine’s shoulder to pull him into a short kiss. Stranger was the occasion with Kurt wanting more than the first touch.

Blaine is bouncing in the inside stepping into Sciron Square. The reservations have gone perfectly all throughout the night, and the special gift for Kurt, Blaine has agonized over in getting it down without any problem -- and Blaine hopes everything’s in place. These worries leave momentarily when he feels the solid push of Kurt’s fingers on him, and the addicting feel of Kurt’s soft lips. “Mm,” Blaine hums, instantly closing his eyes and sinking into the gentle intimacy of their kiss. Kurt’s a bit different tonight, bolder, and whilst Blaine would have already been loosening his tie eagerly, he can’t tonight. “Mnhey, hey-- Kurt, not here. We have to get to your room. I have a special present for you back at your place.”

“Yes you do, babe,” Kurt whispered back. His interest was piqued by Blaine’s insistence they go to Kurt’s dormitory. Maybe tonight they’d cross all the bases? Kurt hadn’t been thinking about his nights with Blaine in the fore front of his mind since there were so many other things to worry about instead of whether or not Blaine would let him, however the proposition wasn’t something Kurt was going to decline. He followed Blaine beyond the lobby however seeing the back of his boyfriend’s head had Kurt already missing touch. “Your jacket’s too bulky. I wish I had picked out something different,” Kurt muttered, spinning Blaine around and nudging him to the wall of his floor’s hallway. Someone was off in the distance however Kurt was sure the person would slink into their room. He was unbuttoning some of the toggle loops on Blaine’s coat.

Blaine doesn’t get embarrassed with public displays of affection, in fact, it’s where he feels no shame at all but this is not the time. He sees the person in the hallway and notices the baseball cap. Oh, Aether. “Kurt, Kurt! Wait, ah, not here!” Blaine whispers and gently pushes Kurt off of him, though he really likes kisses near his ears. The figure grunts and Blaine slides out to the side, launching toward the person in the hallway with a hand out. “Mr... Mr. Hummel! Good evening, thank you for being here.” Blaine shakes Kurt’s father’s hand, keeping his head down since he’s one-hundred percent certain Mr. Hummel wasn’t expecting seeing Blaine and Kurt in the middle of what Blaine would say is a “frisk.”

Kurt’s eyes widened when he realized why Blaine pulled away. He was face-to-face with his dad in the flesh. “Hi Kurt,” Burt said looking embarrassed.

“Dad,” Kurt said and then in an exasperated tone, “Blaine.” Blaine, what the fuck.

Blaine knows that tone. “Sorry! I saw there was a discount on plane tickets and I’m so, so sorry to have kept this from you! But I saw how you don’t get to see your dad a lot and I thought this would be a good time! Mr. Hummel said it was okay!”

Kurt said again, “Blaine.” Blaine, what the fuck. I’m going to die of embarrassment.

Blaine is immediately hit by Kurt’s stare and feels the pressure. Kurt’s probably not the happiest with him but Blaine asks for forgiveness by holding Kurt’s hands and kisses him on the cheek in a G-rated manner as Mr. Hummel is there. It’s now time to escape this situation, quick, just get out of there! “Okay, I’ll be heading out, happy Valentine’s, have a good night with your daddy, Kurt! Bye! Love you!” Blaine fumbles his words and rushes it out of there.

Kurt wound around to yell at Blaine’s retreating back, “Oh my god, just go! People can hear what you’re saying! Why are you like this?!” Blaine was gone by the time Kurt finished his sentence and Kurt groaned, slapping a hand over his eyes. He felt a flush over his face and not the good kind when Blaine was being cute and Kurt couldn’t handle it. Burt was chuckling and Kurt hated this night even more. “Hiya, Dad. Sorry about that. Oh my god. He’s just... ridiculous.” Kurt muttered as he lead his dad to his room.

Once inside, Burt spoke in his simple twang. “He’s a nice boy. Real good to you, it seems like. He showed me by booking the flight, the hotel, and even writing me an itinerary for the type of eats I like in this big city.” Burt took a seat on Kurt’s chair, and Kurt was preparing some tea for them both.

Just like Blaine to go the extra mile. Kurt shrugged though he was pleased to know Blaine had been accommodating to his dad.

“Was... Carole ok with this? It’s Valentine’s,” Kurt still found it awkward to talk about his dad’s girlfriend who was Finn’s mom. It’s because I only see her like two times a year. I don’t know what she’s like at all. Kurt poured the two cups of tea and passed the mug to his dad. Burt sipped it slow.

“She was the one who told me to go for it! She knows how much I miss ya, and while you and Finn don’t text us back much, she knows she gets to see him easy and I ain’t got that.” Burt patted Kurt on the arm and Kurt smiled.

“Sorry, Dad. It’s been weird,” Kurt said. He didn’t know how to say more. He didn’t want to freak his dad out with what was going on with his body. The flowers and vines growing out of his skin.

“S’alright. I bet. Carole fills me onnit. Scary things that I don’t get, but the world’s becoming scarier the second. ‘M glad to have her to keep updated with what might happen to you, son.”

Kurt took the seat next to his dad and sipped his drink too. It was soothing to have this night chat with tea with his dad. It made Kurt think of the past. He fought back a watery smile. “Even if you’re a common?” Kurt realized late he said common instead of human.

Burt chuckled. “She says the authorities won’t know. She got some privileges and pulled some strings so I should be fine. No MIB memory zappin’ here.”

So the cops are corrupt no matter who they are. I guess it’s not bad to have her on our side though. Kurt hummed behind his cup to acknowledge his dad’s statement.

“Y’know, she’ll be here up tomorrow, and I’m going to be with her... You and Finn, try to find some time this week, yeah? We should all go have dinner together, like at one of ‘em family places,” Burt suggested.

Kurt put his mug down and wiped at his mouth with a napkin.

“Kurt, I know when you’re angry,” said his dad. Kurt froze mid-wipe.

“I know it’s been a long time since your mom passed. Long time since we ever talked about it.”

Don’t. Please don’t talk about her. Kurt shook his head and forced a smile. He knew he would only make his dad sad if he got bitter about a non-relationship he had with his mother. That’s on me. It’s not on Dad or... even Mom.

“No, I’ll give Carole a chance. It’s not about Mom. I didn’t know Mom.” Kurt admitted and he saw how his dad’s eyes twitched with incoming tears. “I don’t know if I’ll know... how to act around Carole because of it.” Kurt’s fingers circled around his cup. “But she’s nice. I know you wouldn’t like anyone if they weren’t good people.”

Burt nodded. “I think she’s the best and don’t know how she doesn’t think a balding man like me is the pits--”

“Dad, come on--”

“I wanna ask you to give her a chance to be more than just my girlfriend, Kurt. When she’s coming up, I’m... uh. Going for it.” He pulled out a box from his pocket. Kurt felt his insides get cold.

Ah there it is. The punch. Straight into my gut. No minced words. You taught me that, Dad.

Both Hummel men sat at the table with their teas cooling. Finally Kurt spoke up.

“Do you think you love her, Dad? No BS?”

“No BS, Kurt. She makes me feel the happiest I’ve ever been. I want to show her I’m for her as she’s for me, son. love her.”

Kurt saw the determination in his dad’s eyes and couldn’t get mad at that. I can’t. Dad deserves to be happy.

“What about Blaine?” Burt asked. Kurt wasn’t expecting the question back.

How do I feel with Blaine? He drives me nuts. He’s doing these extra, very him things for me which he doesn’t need to waste his time, energy, or care on however naturally he does it, every single day, unflinchingly. He makes me laugh hard enough to cry. And cry hard enough to laugh. However...

Kurt’s mind drew up Blaine’s face next to him in sleep and it warmed up Kurt right from his chest, driving all the cold out he had felt. He makes me the most I’ve ever been. Angry. Sad. Surprised. Wanting. Before him, I don’t know if I felt... The happiest I’ve ever been.

Kurt didn’t say anything. If Burt was indeed his dad he would know what Kurt was feeling.

“Is what you felt with Mom the same as you feel with Carole now?”

His dad’s face changed. “I don’t know. Elizabeth was... she’s different. I love her, but it’s not the same as I love Carole. I’m sorry, son.”

Kurt nodded though he didn’t know what he was appearing to agree to. He knew he wanted his Dad to move on. However there was the underlying shadow. The fickleness of the heart. Is there such a thing as a one true love.

Pushing his cup aside, Kurt went to give his dad a hug. “Don’t be sorry, Dad. I’m happy for you. Honest. Hope the proposal goes well. We should all have a family dinner together. I’ll ask Finn. I’m sure... I’m sure Mom would be happy to see you move on.” Kurt hated to pretend to know how a dead woman felt.

“Thank you, Kurt.”

His dad hugged him back and the two Hummel men sat there, both of their hearts simultaneously lightened and burdened with their relationships, new and old.

#ref: paras #para: self #para: blaine anderson #tw: parental death #cw: body horror #cw: body dysphoria #// timelorded :x

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langstwhynot · 6 years

Text

Tomy

I CANT BELIEVE I WROTE THIS IN ONE DAY.

Warnings: just one time of blood mentioned, bad grammar pls forgive me.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Lance had a best friend.

His name was Tomy.

Lance first met Tomy one lonely afternoon in the childcare he went to. He was sitting alone in the backyard, looking at all the children running around and playing with each other.

Then Tomy appeared.

“Hey.” Lance heard a soft quiet shyly voice. He looked up from the ground to search for the owner of it, finding no one. “I’m here.” The voice spoke again.

He found a kid in his age standing in front of him.

“Oh, hello.” Lance replayed, resting his head back down on his hands. “What’s wrong?” The kid asked again. Lance sighed. “I don’t know anybody here, I don’t know with who to play.” Lance answered, not taking his eyes up from the green grass underneath him. “You can play with me if you want to.”

Lance eyes widened and he looked up to the kid. “R-really?” He sounded surprised. The kid nodded his head a bit more violently than needed. “Yeah! Really.” Lance smiled, and went off to play with his new friend.

After this day, it was easier to get to know more kids in the childcare. He started to feel more confident with Tomy by his side, confident enough to make more friends.

He wasn’t afraid anymore to talk to people, he wasn’t the same shy Lance that first walked through the childcare gate, he was more comfortable with himself and his personality, all thanks to Tomy.

When Lance grew old enough to start school, Tomy came with him.

Classes weren’t fun, it was boring and tiring to sit in a chair and look forward, to his surprise. But he was lucky, because Tomy was always with him, all the time.

Tomy would cheer Lance up with jokes and funny stories, but when the teacher always asked why was he laughing, and had to call his parents, Lance somehow was the only one to get catch.

It was fine, tho. Lance didn’t care.

The kids in school weren’t going easy on him either. They thought he’s weird and overreacting, most of them didn’t really do anything about it besides staying away from him, and others... took it somewhere else.

When Tomy came up to Lance and saw his black eye, or bleeding nose, he got really angry. Lance knew Tomy couldn’t do anything about it, and Tomy knew it too, but it didn’t stopped them from sitting in Lance’s room and watch movies to make him feel better.

Every two best friends have their fights. Lance and Tomy had theirs too, a lot of times.

But this one changed it all.

“What do you mean I can’t go to high school?!” Lance yelled as he looked at Tomy with disgust. Tomy sighed. “You know very well why.” Lance rolled his eyes. “Why, because you think it would ruin our friendship??”

“No! Because I KNOW, it would ruin our friendship!” Tomy tried to explain. Lance shook his head. “I can’t not go to high school! Mom and dad won’t let me!” He yelled angrily. “Besides, I want to.” His tone calmed down as he looked up to Tomy’s sad face. “Lance, I can’t come with you to your high school. If you go, we will probably not meet again.”

Lance looked up to Tomy. His breaths shook as they escaped his mouth and he wiped a tear before it could slide down his face. “I’m sorry.” He said, and turned to walk out of the room. When he was about to turn around to give one last look at Tomy, he was already gone.

When Lance stood on the stage of his new school on the first day of the new year, with all the other kids who were going to be in his class, he tried to spot Tomy in the crowd. He hoped he’ll be there.

He wasn’t.

And so when Lance finished his new year, and started his second, finished his second, so on until he finished high school. Tomy never came.

Lance sighed as he shook the principal’s hand and got off stage, taking his diploma with him in the other hand.

It was a day before Lance had to go to the Garrison when he tried to talk to Tomy again. “Hey...” he said quietly, looking out of the window up to the dark blue sky. “I uhh... I got into a special school, it’s about space and stuff...” he stared at the white moon surrounded by shining stars. “I’m going there tomorrow’s noon, you can come visit by then. If you want.” Lance’s hands shook. “Um, ok, yeah. Bye, I guess?” He looked at the moon one more time before sighing and closing the window, plugging his phone to the charger on his desk and getting into bed.

And so Lance woke up the next morning and got ready, packed his books, clothes and everything else he needed, kissing his siblings goodbye and his mom.

“Good luck mijo.” She whispered into their hug. Lance pulled her closer, putting his chin on the top of her head.

He looked back to his family waving goodbye, and put his bag on his back. He turned around to the Garrison bus driving up the road over to his house.

He peaked to his right, to his left, backwards back to his family.

Tomy didn’t come.

“Oh Tomy...” Lance mumbled under his breath, as the bus stopped. He got up and waved his family last goodbye with a sad smile on his face.

Now it was hard. It was hard to make friends, hard to listen in classes, hard to understand what he had to learn. He gave Tomy a lot of changes, but of course Tomy didn’t want any contact with him anymore.

Who would want to?

“Hey, are you ok?”

Lance flinched and shot his eyes up to meet a new unfamiliar face. Oh. “Yeah, yeah. Fine.” Lance’s hope lost when he found out it wasn’t Tomy. “Maybe... you wanna talk about it?” The guy asked again. Lance pulled his head up slowly and raised his eyebrow to look him. “What? No! No, I’m totally fine!” Lance faked a smile.

“Well, if you ever want to talk about something, I’m here for you. I’m Hunk by the way.” He put his hand up to shake Lance’s, and Lance took it. “I’m Lance, and thanks.” He said while shaking his hand.

“You don’t have to sit alone at lunch you know, you can come to eat with me and friend over there.” Hunk pointed back to a round table with someone sitting near it, a laptop screen hiding their face. “I-I, I don’t want to bother-“ Lance started, but was cut in the middle by Hunk. “Bother? No, no! I’m sure Pidge won’t mind! Come!” He caught his arm and dragged him to the table.

“Pidge, this is Lance. Lance, Pidge.” Hunk introduced them to each other when they got to the table. “H-hi...” Lance pulled his hand up, but didn’t wave. “Wassup.” Pidge said, not taking her head up from the laptop.

“oh god! Hunk! They released the new world in Mario Kart!” Pidge yelled excitedly. Hunk jumped next to Pidge’s seat to look into the screen too. “You guys play Mario Curt? Oh man! I haven’t played this game in so long!” Lance smiled when memories flew into his head. “Of course we do! Me and Pidge meet every Thursday just to play this game at my house.” Hunk answered, scanning the screen of the laptop while reading information about the new world.

“Oh and would you look and that, it’s Thursday.” Pidge snorted a laugh. “Seven at mine?” Hunk pulled his head back and looked down to Pidge. She nodded and took back her laptop. Lance rubbed the back of his neck. “Wanna come as well?” Hunk turned to Lance, and Lance flinched. “W-what? You guys just met me, are you sure-“

“We know you’re not a creep if you’re here in the Garrison. Plus, I want to race someone else that is not Hunk, which always loses.” Pidge grinned. “That’s not true! I beat you last time!” Hunk pointed out. “That’s because I fell asleep!!” She yelled back.

Lance chuckled.

“Oh you’ll be sorry you ever invited me, ‘cause I’m gonna kick your ass!” Lance laughed. Pidge raised her eyebrow and smiled. “You’re on.”

Black.

Everything around him was black when he looked out of the big window.

How did he end up in this situation?

Oh right, the Blue lion.

Lance sat in the observer room, looking out of the big window out to the cold, lifeless, space. The colorful stars danced in view of the black-purplish background. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged his legs closer, not taking his gaze down from outside.

He felt so lonely.

Pidge and Hunk were off together, doing some nerdy stuff along with Matt. He couldn’t blame them, science is awesome. He just couldn’t understand it that much.

Coran and Allura were in the kitchen for some “cooking lesson” Allura wanted to take. Shiro and Keith were training together, even Kaltenecker was having fun with the mice, somehow.

Lance just wished Tomy was here with him.

Why did he have to leave?

A year later, the castle landed on a blue-green planet. Lance smiled on the sea that spread in front of him. He ran out from the castle and fell down to the sand of the beach the castle landed on. He laughed and rolled in the sand like a little kid meeting snow for the first time.

The team stepped out of the castle, all smiling while tears slid down from some of their faces. They cheered and laughed, pulling each other into bone crushing hugs, not noticing Lance.

Lance, at the same time, didn’t notice them. He was slowly getting up from the sand when a small house near the beach caught his attention. His eyes sparkled and his feet moved on their own over to the house in front of him. Was that it? Was he finally home?

Knock knock.

“Just a second!” A voice shouted from the inside. Lance recognized that voice, he would recognize it anytime.

A woman, not that young, opened the door. A pink apron tied around her hips and brown long hair fell to her back. Her eyes dark blue. She gasped. “W-what?” She stepped back from the door into the house, a hand covering her mouth. “Hey mom.” Lance smiled as tears started to fall down his face.

“Lance!!!” She shook herself out of the shook and threw her arms around him, he did as well. “Mama? Is everything’s ok?” A boy voice was heard from the inside, steps getting louder and louder. Something dropped and a gasp was heard. Lance looked up. “Hey big bro.” Lance smiled through the tears, and the older male joined the hug, almost making Lance fall on his back.

Soon everyone joined their hug: his older sister, his younger sister, his other older brother, his family’s two dogs, and all of his nephews. Even his older sister’s husband and his younger sister’s girlfriend. He cried and cried, and everyone did with him. He was so happy to be home again.

The team watched from behind as the big family made Lance fall on his back and the dogs came up to lick his face.

Soon they were all partying. Laughing, dancing, eating, telling stories. Of course his teammates were invited too, it was his family must to get to know the people who took care of him while he was away, and why exactly they were away.

Lance stood from the side, looking around at his two families all together, talking and having a good time. He smiled.

“So what about this one?” A voice in the middle of all the noise caught Lance’s attention. He spotted his youngest nephew, standing and switching between a Green Party Hat to a yellow one, talking to no one.

Lance stepped closer and crouched on his knees, tapping her shoulder. She turned around and a bright smile grew on her face. “Hey uncle Lance!” She said, Lance smiled brightly. “Hi Melissa, what are you doing?” He asked.

“Oh, I’m just trying to decide which hat should I wear.” She showed him the two hats, each one in each hand. Lance felt his heart melting. “That’s awesome! Want me to help you pick?” He suggested. The little girl’s smile changed into a shy and uncomfortable expression. “Oh, I- Uhh.. Tomy is already helping me.”

Lance froze.

“No, uncle Lance! Please don’t be sad! I didn’t mean it-!” She dropped the hats to the ground and apologized, hugging her uncle with her little hands around his chest, as far as she could. “W-what?! No! Melissa! I’m not sad!” He pushed her away from the hug just to make her look into his eyes. “You... you’re not?” She was confused and still a bit sad from the latest events. “No, I’m not! In fact! I would totally love to hear more about your friend over their, what’s his name again?” Lance said, like he didn’t remember. “His name is Tomy!” The sadness and confusion left her face when she pointed back into the “air”. “Hey Tomy, I’m Lance! Melissa’s uncle.” He put his hand up and shook it, like he was shaking hands with him when he actually just hit the air.

“Great, now I’ll let you two to it! Tell me which hat you chose!” He got up and waved goodbye, Melissa did the same and was fast back to talking with her friend.

Lance got back to his spot, leaning against the wall where he could have the view on his friends and family. But now, he didn’t look at them, he was looking down to the floor while he went lost in thoughts.

Now he got why Tomy didn’t want him to go to high school.

He didn’t want Lance to grow up.

Lance looked back to Melissa, who was laughing loudly with the yellow hat she chose on her head.

He knew his imagery friend was in good hands.

#langst #lance vld #voltron #langstwhynot #lance voltron #voltron: legendary defender

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goldstonegolem64 · 6 years

Text

Book1 Hope returns Chapter 6 Chasing the lion By Goldstonegolem64

The flight to earth was quiet. Jay sat in his seat feeling the pain in his chest. What ever this suit was made of it was much better then what he was wearing before. But still he killed someone that was a new experience he didn't like .He had dealt with pirates and raider he hurt them but never killed one. it was just seeing the aftermath of the shot just made him feel wrong. But he knew that by the end of today he would have to do it again to keep his family safe. So he Grabbed the small silver medallion the last gift of his mother to him before she pasted a way about fourteen years from around his neck and started talking to it.

Hey mom if your there I might be seeing you soon if this goes bad. I hope dad can forgive for being a pain in the ass growing up. I hope Alphonse can forgive me for always needing him to get me out of trouble all the time. I hope Donnie can forgive for stealing and crashing his car on my fifteenth birthday. I hope Hermann and Wendy can forgive me for getting them in trouble all the time so I could use the computer. I hope pepper can forgive her dumb ass uncle for not making to her sixth birth that he promised to be there for and I hope you can forgive me for getting you kill in that crash all those years ago. Jay said starting to crying

My pilot

the voices scared him for a second then remember he was in the Valkyrie.

We will be there in twenty minutes Val said

ok Jay said rubbing the tears from his eyes

Hey I know you were having a moment but you felt the comms on Adams voice rang through the speakers.

Jays eyes wide. so you heard all of that then.

Yes I did and I promise you that I will personal get you to your nieces birthday when this is over also sorry about your mother, Adam said

thanks man that makes me feel a little better. so you got anyone back home waiting for you. Jay asked cracking a little smile.

No my parent disowned me when they found out I was gay and the only other person who cared about me this most like dead so no one is waiting for me back home. Adam said

that is rough my man jay said

sorry to intruded this conversion but look ahead . Val said

Lance pov

Lance McClain was your average everyday pretty good look garrison cadet with not much going on in his life up intel now.one day here was failing a flight simulator the next he's save Shiro the missing kerberos mission from a weird lab in the middle of nowhere, then he find a giant blue lion in a cave now he was flying that lion while being chased by a alien ship how can this day get any weirder. yes yes It could as he was speeding past the moon he saw two ship flying toward him one of them look like a dragon and the other look like a cargo ship trying to ram him.

look out Keith yelled grabbing the control from lance sending them spinning to the right

Jay pov

Jay, Adam beau and Val all watch in amazement has the lion flew over them. Then in fear as the cruiser flew toward the causing them to go in separate directions to avoid being hit.

did you see that. Adam said

how could I miss that lets follow them. Jay said

the two chased after the cruiser. Starting to notice their was a clear gap being made between them and the cruiser but they kept on its tale. Adam pushing the Prometheus’s engines to their limits but for jay he was getting faster the long he flow to the point where he was right next to the bridge of the ship. Only falling back when they started firing on him. Then after the four ships pass Jupiter the blue lion decide to fire a beam in to the cruiser cause a line of explosion to erupted across the side. then a massive blue portal appeared out of no where. The lion proceed to go into it leaving the two of them to dealt with the cruiser that just started to turn its attention to them a began firing at the them. Adam took evasive maneuver not to get hit. while Beauregard fired the on bored cannon in to the engines of the cruisers leaving it dead in the sky. Jay fired bolts into the area where the blue lion had fired at.

this seem to easy Adam said

yes is dose but that might be because most of the ship was wrecked after the lions attack Val replied

that's trust jay said holding down the firing button on the control stick

as the two ships keep peppering the cruiser its main cannon started to charge as while as some smaller ships were leaving the half dead ship and the remain engines roared to lift .

what's going on Jay asked

The cannon is about to fire and the ship is trying to get in to the wormhole. Val said

We have to stop that because if that thing fire inside the wormhole who knows what will happen to anything in there when it fires. Adam forces you fire on the cannon Jay said

Alright Adam said flying closer to the cannon

Beauregard kept on firing roll after roll in to the cannon

Jay slammed the Valkyrie in to the cannon using the wings and claws to ripping to the ship and fire in to the tears he was making

But the cannon kept on charging and the ship kept on moving forward

nothing is working it just keeps moving Adam said angerly.

The cannon fired into the portal but before it went in. Time slowed to a stop as Jay felt a pain start to shot through his body.

What's happening jay asked The pain growing more and more intense in this state as well as a red hew started to appear in the corners of his eyes has anger started.

I have activated my strongest ability sorry about the pain I only activated it do to the situation next time I will ask next Val said

Flying right in to the path of the blast the two brace themselves for the impact then time started to move again .Adam And Beauregard saw a bright light as the cannon fired. the two looked to see what happened. what they saw was the Valkyrie’s wing glowing a bright red Then the wings paired showing the Valkyrie mouth wide up and a beam fire the moment it left the mouth the bean expanded to twice is size hit straight into the bridge and exited though the engines.

Jay sat in his seat his body felt like he was struck by lighting burned and stabbed all at once and the pain from the hammer strike came back even worst then before. What just happed Val why am I in so much pain. Said asked though shallow breaths

I stopped time for ten second and absorbed the blast and fired it back at them. the pain is from the amount quintessence that I pushed though your body to activated it. but I used the remaining last of my bond with my last pilot to do that and if we did that again you will die if are bond isn't stronger. Val said with concern in her voice

We will not be doing that again anytime soon so lets just go through this wormhole and find out what's on the other side. you ready guy to go Jay said a little woes from the event that just accorded.

Yes lets go but are you ok jay. You seem a little out of it Adam asked

I'm fine lets go. jays replied

entering the wormhole Jay couldn't remember the ride though the wormhole at all. all he could remembered was leaving it to see a beautiful new world and Adam saying jay pull up your going to crash in to that building. doing as he was told. He pulled up missing the building by going straight up then he slumped forward in to the controls do to falling in and outs of consciousness causing him to fly straight down in to a forest a few kilometer away from the building then he finally black out.

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trickstersantana · 5 years

Text

[PARA] Online shopping time!

Who: Santana, Sugar @sugarreturnsbetterthanryder and Al Motta Location: Notos 301 Time: 9 October 2018 Summary: Santana and Sugar prepare stuff for the Barricade Triggers/Notes: Drug mention, violence mention, murder mention

Santana was in Sugar's super high quality Notos room. What a good coach. She could smell the air money in here. Now she had 3 contacts in Notos, her, Hunter and Blaine, and she was going to enjoy her Friends with Rich People perks. She keep drinking Sugar's champagne and feeling like a rich girl with her old almost broken laptop, buying things for the barricade and planning it well. But there was only one thing in her mind. But she needed Ryder for that, and Ryder was in drugworld when she most needed him. So she was distracting herself with the barricade meanwhile. "Hey, Sugar, we probably need kitchen knifes to cook and shit." She says while searching for the best knife for ritual purposes.

Sugar barely takes notice of what her best friend is saying, her mind having drifted a long time ago into the endless sea of fashion products that the internet has to offer. "Oh, sure, add what you need, Santy. Money's not a problem." After adding a couple of matching pink bows to her shopping cart, she takes the pink headphones that were lying near her feet in the pillow-covered king size bed "Do you mind if I wear these for a while? I just realised I have to catch up on a lot of new releases."

Santana says a "Nice. Perfect. Enjoy the new music." And adds her favourite knives to the chart, alongside other cooking products so they doesn't look out of place. Other day, Santana would buy cool clothes and a new laptop. But now she has to focus on her mission. She keep preparing things for the barricade and buying all she needed. Planning it so good and pretending to care so much no one would suspect she has actually no interest in it. The perfect cover. Her cellphone rings. Unknown number. She rolled her eyes. What does my dad wants now? Anyway I have to talk to him so perfect. She picks it up. "Hey Cabrón, me llamas justo a tiempo.”

[Translation note: Hey Bastard, you call me just in time]

Al Motta remembers some of the words from his spanish lessons in college, but decides to stick to his script instead of searching his memory for their meaning. After the initial setback, he clears his throat and speaks. "Miss Lopez, correct? This is Al Motta, from the Lusus Naturae Protection Committee. Please, excuse the late hours. I take it you are a very good friend of my daughter's. She has gone missing, you see, and I was hoping that you would know where she has gone. Any information that you could provide us would be a tremendous help. We miss her dearly at home."

Santana panics on the inside. She hopes Al Motta doesn't know what cabrón means. Ok, relax. The leader of the LN committee is calling you. He has your number. And your file probably and all the power to ruin your life before it really starts. Chill. "Oh hey what's up Al?" She says too chill and regrets it inmediatly. "I didn't know the committe could do this break of privacity but honestly, I'm not surprised." A very good friend of Sugar. Yes. "Yeah, I'm her best friend, actually. So it would make a lot of sense I know things about her" Gone missing. Okay, let's play this game. "Oh yeah, why did she went away from NYADA? She was doing so well here and she loved it so much. Without warning or anything. What happened? I probably can help, but I need more information." She could sense Death but she was just dancing with her.

Al Motta regrets his approach. He should have realised that if there was one thing Sugar was not, it was independent. This girl clearly knew everything, or she would not be speaking so casually to him. "Please, forgive me, Miss Lopez-" he began, thinking it was best to give in to everything if it meant getting a chance to get his daughter back in his grip. He was no stranger to stooping low. "I am not calling on behalf of the Committee. It is just an old habit, as I do not have many personal calls these days. Sugar gave me your number on her first week of school so that I would have a classmate to call if there was an emergency. She had been taking a holiday on her grandmother's country residence, and they have just now informed me that she has gone without warning." He takes a deep breath and continues. "I am hoping it is nothing more than a little rebellious phase, as I had plenty of those in my own youth, but I would like to speak to her just to make sure she is alright."

"Oh, please, Al, you can call me by my name. We are all friends here. Friends who care a lot about Sugar." Santana super didn't know what she was doing but she was probably doing it wrong. Talking like she was talking to a friend's parent who didn't rule the committee and her life. She will have a talk with Sugar about not giving her number to people. "Why was she taking a holiday without any contact to the outside world? Isn't that like, super weird? I think people would think is really weird." She says, all very casually for a person trying to touch a cactus on fire.

"Very well, Miss Lopez." Al Motta's voice changes "Anyone would call me a fool for believing I could trick a trickster. What is it that you want? Is it money? I see no other reason why someone like you would befriend someone like my daughter." He makes a pause, trying to keep himself from losing his composure. "Her money is my money, so you can get it straight from the source now, and you wouldn't be the first to do so." What do you want in exchange for letting me talk to my daughter?" He knew he would need no more than a few sweet words to get Sugar's trust back. "Just ask, and let's get this over with."

Santana nods in Sugar's room, smiling. Thinking What The Hell is Going On. Any other day, she would ask for money. Finishing NYADA naturalization now. Getting rid of the tracking of Trickster Spirits. But she didn't need money anymore. She didn't need any of that. She would become human this month. She had to keep the ruse, though. *Ah, I see what's going on. This is a parent trap to see if I'm really friends with her daughter. Like I'm going to fall for that! "There's so many reasons for people to befriend Sugar, please! She's great, caring..." She's out of adjetives that doesn't mean She Gives Me Money. "...Funny. I mean, there's no words to describe her, actually. But she has so many qualities being her own person!" She can totally believe Al Motta bought other's friends of Sugar to control her daughter. What a controlling dick. "But sure, I can ask for some things. You know, NYADA just put some super discriminatory collars to shapeshifters, it would be nice for the committee to work to get rid of them, and..." She made a pause. "Make Dedric Fuchs face abolishement."

The mention of Fuchs' name was enough for the façade of stability that Al Motta had managed to put up this far to shatter. He gripped the phone. "If it was up to me--” He screamed before he even realised it. “that old fucker would be under my foot and begging for mercy, believe me, Miss Lopez!" He tried his best to calm down, but he couldn't. "Y-You think that if it was up to me--" He realised that his voice was shaking and that he could barely speak. Then he realised he could use that for his advantage. "I'm- I'm sorry. My daughter- she is all I have now. I cannot lose her too. Please, Miss Lopez. I know I haven't been the best father." Truth be told, he himself couldn’t tell how much of what he was saying was true. If he hadn't been at his lowest, he would have even been proud. "Collars? We can see about that. All I'm asking is for one chance to make things right with my baby girl. Please."

Santana hears Al Motta voice getting angry. That's it. This is how I sign the petition for my murder. She thinks, smiling like one of those smirks her 'dad' always has, even in the worst situations, because when everything goes to shit you can only smile and hope the other person thinks you have a plan. "I'm glad to have your support, Al." She just says, wondering if those would be her last words. *Wait wait wait, bitch!! This is a desperate man. You have the control now. * And Santana is like, hell yeah you're my bitch now Al Motta. If I don't die. DON'T GET COCKY SANTANA YOU ARE SO CLOSE TO BE HUMAN. "Yeah, sure. When I see the collars gone for good."

Al Motta takes a moment to think. What had he just offered? He had hoped that Santana girl was not smart enough to ask for results beforehand. The whole reason he had sent Sugar away was to not let her influence his carefully calculated political game. He could not throw it away like this to get her back. "I'm... sorry, Miss Lopez. Politics are not made overnight. If you are looking for immediate satisfaction, you will have to ask for something else. Perhaps..."

Santana interrupts him. "Then I'm not interested. Sorry, gotta go, bye." She says, and hangs off the phone. Thank God she is going to become a human soon and all her problems would be gone or she would be in big trouble for this.

Sugar hears her friend saying goodbye and removes her headphones. "Oh! You're done! Great!" She turns her laptop screen so her friend can see the item on display. "Look, what do you think of these blankets? They look really warm right? I'll add a few. A bed can never have too many blankets." While she is waiting for an answer, she hears Santana's phone ringing again, and can't hide a slight look of disappointment. "Oh, it's- it's okay, you can pick up. I still have a lot of songs in the playlist. I'll wait."

Santana, probably making a big mistake she will totally regret later in the form of pain, shrug. “I prefer to keep looking at blankets.” She says, while putting her phone on silence.

#para: sugar #chara: sugar #silverspoonfulofsugar #sugarreturnsbetterthanryder

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cocobaek · 6 years

Text

Crossfire | 08

Bodyguard AU!

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Genre: Angst | Fluff | Slow burn

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: Violence | Swearing

Previous Chapter: 07 Next Chapter: 09

For the first time since Namjoon moved in, I got completely ready in my room, not even exiting for breakfast. I dreaded the moment I had to see him again, the sting from last nights rejection still hitting me hard “You can do it [y/n], it’s just Namjoon, just another stupid boy,” I said to my reflection as the moment came for me to exit my den. I took a deep breath before opening the door. My eyes met Namjoon’s almost instantly, and almost as soon as eye contact was made, he looked away. “Morning,” he greeted, trying to act as normal as possible. “Good morning,” I said, moving to start making my coffee, “coffee?” “Uh, no, I've had mine already.” Every time conversation began, it was abruptly ended in the next sentence. Thankfully, it wasn’t too long before my first lecture, meaning we could get out of the house. I mean, awkward walking was better than awkwardly hanging around home, at least there were distractions. “Hang on, [y/n],” I heard Namjoon say as I went to head out the door. My heart jumped with the expectation that something would be said about last night, but that hope left as I turned, seeing him bend down to pick up something I had dropped from my person. Seeing what it was my hand flew to my wrist. As expected, it was bare. “That dumb clasp,” I said under my breath as I stepped forward to carefully take my bracelet from his hands. “This happens all the time now, one day i’m going to lose it I swear,” I said as I looped it around my wrist. I held my arm tight against my body as I battled to get it back together with one hand. “Here, let me,” Namjoon said after a little bit too long. He stepped forward and carefully took each chain in his hands. We were both looking down at the intricate clasp, and I was glad this was the point of focus as the close distance between how heads had succeeded in making me flustered and bringing a bright blush to my cheeks. “It's tricky isn’t it,” he chuckled quietly, in a way, making an excuse for taking so long. “It’s seeing it’s last days for sure, Tae got it for me a long long time ago.” He glanced up at me when I said this, however I kept my eyes on the bracelet. If I met his gaze, I knew that I would just be more upset then I already was. My willpower was really tested with each second that passed, but eventually he snapped himself out of it and stepped back. “You two seem close.” I placed a hand around my bracelet. “Well, as close as you can be when you live a city away from each other.” I finally looked up at Namjoon, “shall we go?” He nodded, “after you.”

“Hey! [y/n]!” I heard someone call out once we had made the quick journey to Uni. I turned to see Jimin and Jungkook heading towards us. “You’re looking rough, hard rest of the night?” Jungkook, said, sidling up next to me. “You could say that, yeah,” I smiled tightly. “Everything ok?” Jimin followed up, not missing my expression. I nodded, “yeah, yeah, all fine, we just had a lot to talk about after you left so i’m a bit tired is all.” I glanced to Namjoon who kept his gaze fixed forward as we walked. If I had thought he was distant at home I was crazy. It was nothing compared to now. It was like he wasn’t even thinking of looking my way. “Well, at least we have a riveting lecture to fill us with energy again,” Jungkook said sarcastically, dodging the awkward situation expertly. “Man, i’m excited,” I laughed as we filed into the lecture hall. The moment we sat down I felt my phone buzz, and I looked down to see the name of the boy sitting two to my right.

Jimin-sii: ‘What’s up with you and Namjoon? He seems real weird today.” Pretty Lady: ‘Isn’t he always weird to you?’

I glanced to my left, and as expected, although he sat directly beside me, his eyes were trained forward.

Jimin-sii: ‘yeah, but weirder than normal.. He keeps looking at you you know, like, snapping away whenever you go to look.’

I stared at my phone for a moment when I received this message.. I hadn’t even considered that Namjoon may be having just as rough of a time with than I was. But he couldn't be.. He was Namjoon.

Pretty Lady: ‘ Yeah, had a bit of an argument, he’s just sulking.’ Jimin-sii: :(

Jimin’s message came through at the same time as the lecturer came in. I stuffed my phone in my pocket and brought my notebook out as if I were actually going to take notes. Unfortunately, the combination of the lecturers monotone voice and my lack of sleep made me exhausted and unable to actually listen far too quickly. I placed my right arm on the bench before me and rested my chin on it. It was only a few seconds after this when I felt an odd feeling, like someone was looking at me. I tilted my head to the left, so my temple was resting on my arm, and met Namjoon’s gaze. Unlike every time today, he didn’t look away, and neither did I. He smiled somewhat sadly once we held this gaze for a while. It must’ve been obvious how tired I was, and there would’ve only been one reason for that - he knew that. I knew he wasn’t heartless enough not to care. As he said, he didn’t want this either. ‘It’s ok,’ I mouthed before smiling at him, ‘i’m ok.’ He looked somewhat relieved for a moment before nodding. I blinked a few times before standing up, earning a confused look from him. “Bathroom,” I whispered, and put a hand on his shoulder when he went to stand as well. “It’s just down the hall, i’ll be fine.” He hesitated before nodding, letting me passed.

Getting into the hallway was exactly what I needed. The fresh air helped bring a little bit more life back into me I kept my eyes trained on my feet as I started the short walk to the bathroom, lost in my own world. As expected, this was not the best idea, as I soon collided with someone. “Oh! Sorry!” they said, and I smiled as I looked up seeing who it was. “Oh hey you,” Hoseok said, “I didn’t hurt you did I?” I shook my head, “nah, i’m good, sorry I was in kind of a daze.” “Had a lot to think about after last night too huh?” he said bashfully, scratching the back of his neck. I nodded, “I really need to apologise for Namjoon, I had no idea he would react that way.” Hoseok shook his head, “It’s totally ok,” he fell silent, “I assume he told you about Yoongi?” I nodded and watched him sigh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want you and Jungkook finding out cause I didn’t want you guys to think I was this... this criminal.” I smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re ok in my books Hobi.. Namjoon kinda told me what your neighbourhood was like, I don't hold it against either of you.” Hoseok looked physically relieved to hear this. “Thank you [y/n], really, not many people would forgive like that.” “Well, there isn’t really anything to forgive. A past is a past.” Something passed over his expression for a split second before he nodded. “But what a coincidence aye! I used to think of Nam as a big brother,” he said, back to his old self. “His parents were the best weren’t they?” I felt my heart rate increase the slightest bit. We had never talked about his family in detail, which now doesn’t seem like it was a good idea. “I actually haven’t met them,” I said, knowing the less I lied, the smaller the hole I dug myself into would be. “I lived with my mum, he’s the dad’s side, I had nothing to do with them really.” Hoseok let out an ‘oh’ and nodded, “makes sense, I would’ve remembered a face like yours if you ever visited anyway. I laughed at his casual flirting. “Hey, Hobi, I was wondering something.” “Ask away.” “Was it hard to get out? Namjoon said something about him having enemies. Is that Yoongi? Is Yoongi after him?” Hoseok’s expression was firm as he thought back to when it all happened. “It wasn’t easy, but I left during the fallout of Namjoon leaving, so I definitely had it better than he did.” “The fallout?” Hoseok scolded himself, “he really won’t want me telling you... it’s not my place.” I clenched my jaw, “can you tell me anything?” Hoseok looked hesitant, but eventually gaze in. “Yoongi didn’t want him to leave, Namjoon was a good worker, so Nam forced himself out, got the police involved, a few of the boys got arrested... Yoongi really wasn’t happy with that last I heard.” I nodded. It made sense. “Look, I think you should just try not think about it, he’s not a dude you want to do digging on.” I laughed nervously, “you know me, I can’t help but be nosy.” “But somehow you make it charming,” he chuckled, his hands going into his pockets as his laughter dropped off sadly. “Hobi? What’s up?” I asked, the mood shift hard to miss. “I-I am truly sorry [y/n]..” I smiled kindly and brought him into a hug. “Don’t be sorry Hobi.” I felt him hug me back. “No, not about that... I’m sorry about what’s going to happen.” I went to step back, but his hug was tight, constricting. “I actually quite like you, you’re a good friend, but a job is a job.” His last four words struck me, fear filling my body as I quickly tried to fight back, but Hoseok was stronger than I was. Short conversations with Namjoon about self defence popped into my head, and I instinctively brought my knee up in between his legs with force. He let out a shout and released me, and I didn’t hesitate to break into a sprint. Unfortunately, Hoseok recovered quickly and spent no time catching up to me. I let out a yell as he grabbed my wrist, pulling me flush against his chest. “Shhh, shhh, you’re ok,” he whispered, putting something over my mouth. I had seen enough movies to know this was bad news, so I held my breath for as long as I could. Hoseok however, wasn’t letting up. He held strong against every attempt at escape, and eventually my lungs needed to be filled and I took in a deep breath. Almost instantly I felt off, the world in front of me beginning to grow odd. I was dizzy, and wanted nothing more than to close my eyes. “I’ve got you [y/n], just sleep.” That was the last thing I heard before I was plunged into darkness.

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creaturebloom · 6 years

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this is a 65 question ask meme and im the bitch that’s filling it all out at once to waste time

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? oh yeah definitely, but it’s usually the other way around where everyone else is real and i am not

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? idk like a 2.5 i guess

3. The person you would never want to meet? i mean. i don’t know ??? how can i know who i don’t want to meet until i have met them and decided they’re the worst

4. What is your favorite word? akimbo

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? i would WANT to be a weeping willow, but in all honesty i’d probably be a birch or some type of maple

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? i honestly cannot recall

7. What shirt are you wearing? a grey pajama shirt

8. What do you label yourself as? the skeleton god

9. Bright room or dark room? i mean if we’re talking the absolute brightest room vs the absolute darkest, i suppose i would pick brightest.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? for once i was actually asleep

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? god probably like 8 years old was good

12. Who told you they loved you last? my dad

13. Your worst enemy? it me

14. What is your current desktop picture? it’s a landscape in the style of like miyazaki movie backgrounds

15. Do you like someone? romantically ? no

16. The last song you listened to? poison vine - noah gundersen

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? just like physically destroy one person ???? idk man. like the consequences of this would probably be too far reaching for me to even fathom. do i get caught ?? does it spark paranoia worldwide ? a string of copy-cat murders ? could i live with myself knowing i killed a human being ?

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? nazis

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? idk like. the idea of a slave that has to do stuff for me for a day is kind of wild. if i can like, make a billionaire my slave and then force them to redistribute their wealth then i’d do that

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) my bones !! i can’t show them to you though, not yet

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? i guess the opposite of nonbinary is SUPER binary so i’d be like half man half woman and i’d look exactly like a halloween costume

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? no, all of my talents are pretty out in the open

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? one unique thing ??? i don’t think anyone really has unique fears. if you dig deep enough they all sort of boil down to the same few things in the end. i guess the most strange fear i have is that spiders will be in my slippers, and so i do not own or wear slippers.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. oh shit ok. idk all the ingredients but one time i ate a vegetarian bahn mi in chicago and it was like the most heavenly sandwich i’ve ever had. i want that again. endlessly.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? honestly at this very moment in time i would buy groceries, and also maybe a pad of watercolor paper

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? oof, leave immediately ??? that limits my choices bc i don’t have a passport. i guess i’d go to like. god idk oregon ? colorado ??? the pacific northwest somewhere.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? wait what am i supposed to figure out if i don’t drink booze ??? like if my plan was to sell it, i’d have to get a liquor license, and that’s a can of worms i don’t care to open. i think i would ask the angel if instead i can get a lifetime supply of, like, that good bahn mi sandwich i was talking about a few questions up.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? no nerds allowed

29. What is your favorite expletive? i’m pretty partial to fuck, but honesly yikes is what i say most often even though that’s not a swear word. petition to make yikes a swear word.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? hey so one time there was actually the threat of a fire in my house and despite all these questions no one does anything like that. i put on my shoes, grabbed my phone, sunglasses and water bottle because they were all immediately available as i was exiting the house. so as much as i’d love to grab my box of treasures and keepsakes, i absolutely would not and i know this about myself now.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? yikes. i can see the appeal of this for a lot of people, but for myself it’s just uhhh not feasible. i’d always wonder what i erased, and at some point i would uncover the truth. i wouldn’t like to live with that kind of mystery going on.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! oh thank god. i’m moving to a colder climate with universal healthcare.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? okay i would strike a deal here and let’s say i can bring back two pets instead of one person and in this case i would bring back rusty (family golden retriever), and also kohji (brother’s shepherd mix). i’d like to say i’d bring back my cat, but i have two cats now and i know my brother would really like his dog back.

34. What was your last dream about? i don’t really remember, tbh. i’ve been having a lot of weird dreams tho

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? yes i am a VERY good [something]

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yes ! it was terrifying and i’d never like to do it again thanks

37. Have you ever built a snowman? no, somehow this was never presented to me as an option any time i’ve been around snow

38. What is the color of your socks? buddy i’ve not worn socks in months. but also generally they are striped with various colors.

39. What type of music do you like? gay stuff

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunrises

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? chocolate

42. What football team do you support? oh i sure don’t

43. Do you have any scars? yes, many

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? considering that i am no longer in school, the answer is that i want to do whatever i feel like doing at any given moment

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i suppose i’d cure my mental illness (which i’m working on, so, this will happen)

46. Are you reliable? oh, no. no thanks. i absolutely am but i hate feeling obligated so i always choose to not put myself in situations where someone needs to rely on me for anything

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? i guess i’d ask if they’re happy

48. Do you hold grudges? i mean. i don’t forget things ........ but i am capable of forgiving people

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? nope ! i’ve seen movies, i know what horror that can cause

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? one time my sister and i were talking to our aunt, and we could not for the life of us figure out if she was trying to GIVE or SELL us some rabbit fur coats she had ......... it’s been over a decade and we still do not know which it was

51. Are you a good liar? yes

52. How long could you go without talking? several million years

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? sorry my hair is indestructible and because of the natural texture it looks great no matter what. i’m blessed and i know it.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? what kind of person doesn’t bake their own cake ????? rich people i guess

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? yes ! but not very well

56. What do you like on your toast? butter, and occasionally cinnamon sugar

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? some cool clouds

58. What would be you dream car? a honda prelude with the pop-up lights

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. i do sing in the shower sometimes, but not loudly

60. Do you believe in aliens? absolutely

61. Do you often read your horoscope? almost every day, but i do my full birth-chart horoscope so that it’s accurate, and not like horoscopes from the newspaper

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? n

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? i mean are they not the same thing. tell me a dinosaur and a dragon are not basically the same things.

64. What do you think about babies? yeah they’re alright. i never want to be in charge of one but i’m alright with them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. i guess the most interesting thing i can think to ask myself is which tarot decks i have, and i will tell you. i have the prisma visions tarot (which is amazing), and also the shadowscapes deck (beautiful!), and also a deck of runes that i made myself with a sharpie on a pack of pepsi branded playing cards

#about mai #i guess this used up like thirty minutes of my time

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noexit-ff · 6 years

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28. Part 2

Clinton decided to bring such news at such a weird moment, he bought news to his son but bought those kids that Chris dislikes and the white lady. I don’t know what Clinton wants me to do, I understand Chris and what he is going through. I know my baby does not want to bother with him or anything to do with him because of this. Joyce is just as stupid because Chris has made it clear, he doesn’t want to know those kids. They look nothing like my baby anyways so that is good, I feel bad because they all look under ten and they look at Chris in awe, that is their brother but Chris doesn’t want to know. Putting Chris’ jacket on as I walked outside, I can hear the basketball out here, he must be out here. I don’t miss the cold in VA at all, here I am outside with slides on. I am so damn cold, Chris is here with just a tee on and shorts. If he gets ill, I don’t want to know. Chris and his love for dog’s, playing basketball with them as they chase him from one part of the court to the other. I can never get away from dog’s since being with Chris, he has them everywhere. Closing the gate behind me, Chris threw the basketball to the other side of the court and shuffled his way to the wall on the side of the court, watching him sit down on the wall.

I don’t know what to say to him, I am on my husband side and if he doesn’t want to be there then so be it but what can I say “let me guess they sent you out to tell me to come back in? They are so wack, I have the world’s stupidest parents” I don’t like to see him sad “I know baby, I understand you so much because I go through the same bullshit but your dad does want you to come back in, he has something he wants to tell you” Chris dragged his eyes away from the ground and to me “I don’t want to know, he can go back to his trailer. You wasn’t there but those stupid kids hugged me, I was like what the fuck but I didn’t do anything but stand there. I don’t know them like that and he knows it, he is pushing it in my face and it’s getting me angry. My mom is stupid, she stood there with the woman he left her for. Why is everyone so dumb” placing my hand on his shoulder “I am sorry baby” Chris held my free hand and pulled me towards him, he wrapped his arms around my waist and rested the side of his face on my stomach “I just want my own family now, I want to do things my parents didn’t do. Like my dad not teaching me how to be a man” looking down at Chris “why are you getting yourself worked up for? Stop it” moving my head to the side, he is getting all teary eyed now “you just don’t know how much you need those life lessons when you’re younger, I could have been normal if I knew how to be an adult. Shit is just a guessing game, I be googling how to be a man” Chris moved his head back, looking up at me “you are a man, you’re my man. You’re doing the perfect job in being a husband, you didn’t need him Chris. You took your time but look at you Chris, it’s a shame that we are in our thirties and it took so long but we made it. We are having our own family, our child will adore you as much as I do. I know you don’t want to know but I will be with you, just hear him out” I don’t like my baby sad at all.

Opening the bathroom door “you really waited for me” I chuckled, Chris wouldn’t go in the dining room without me “well I want you with me, I feel like I get ganged up on if I say the wrong thing. It’s happened before” wrapping my arms around Chris’ torso “I got you Chris” moving back from the hug, holding on to his hand “at times I am like I love my dad and then there is moments like this where I just hate him, I shouldn’t be angry with him. Anger is not good” staring at Chris’ face, I just wonder how he will react to the news he will give him. Chris seems to be very angry at his dad right now “I am annoyed that the white bitch and her white ass son met you” squeezing his hand laughing “stop it, just stay quiet and just go with the flow. I will be with you, nobody will gang up on you” turning the corner “I am glad you came back Chris” Joyce said “well I can’t have you crying about it, I just want to hear what he has to say and then I go about my day” I was going to move my hand but Chris didn’t let me, Chris and I sat down at the same time “I made mistakes Chris, I know but I am trying to make amends” Clinton is like my dad, besides the drinking but he’s useless.

If Clinton and Joyce are smart enough then they would have Chris in a room on his own, why have this “I have recently found out that I have Leukemia and I am very scared about this journey, I may not make it out alive and I will be going through treatment. I know I haven’t been around for the most part of your life so you may feel no difference even if I was to go” staring at Chris’ face, he didn’t even flinch. I am shocked to see Joyce actually crying “you’re the same nigga to go to the newspapers to speak on me, said that Rihanna wasn’t good for me. You made money by doing that, if you want money then I am the wrong nigga to come too. You and those kids” I cringed, Chris let my hand go “Chris, don’t be so rude” Chris stood up “you’re pathetic crying for a nigga that didn’t want you, I always tried with you dad! You made out like you didn’t want the fame but deep down you did, what do you want me to do now huh? You dying so you want me to forgive you? My mom may do but I don’t, you never saved my ass when I saw the shit, you was never fucking there. You think I will let these have a good life, fuck you” I see Clinton getting very angry every time he speaks on the kids “you need to let it go son, you’re becoming very bitter for this” Chris shook his head, seeing Chris’ hand ball up in a fist. Getting up from the chair “let’s just go” I said to him “let it go? This is why I am letting you go, you can die in your trailer. You did nothing for me, saw me on the weekends but yet you knew mom was getting beat, those kids will be trailer shit like you” Clinton stepped forward so quickly, I moved back “no, don’t you dare hit my son!” Joyce stepped in front of Chris “not my baby!” she spat “I told you, I said for you to come on your own! Now please, just go!” Joyce sobbed out saying.

Chris really hasn’t moved from his position, his fist still balled up. Tootie escorted Clinton and the family out “Chris, I would never let him hit you. I am sorry” Joyce touched his cheeks with her hands “Chris, baby” pushing the chair out of the way “I will see to Tootie” Joyce rushed off, holding Chris’ wrist “Chris, it’s ok. He’s gone now” walking around him “come on, baby. I know you want to cry, let it out” Chris heaved out, his fist loosened “come here” wrapping my arm around his neck, it broke my heart to hear him cry on my shoulder “this is all his fault Chris, don’t feel bad ok? He did this to you because you wanted him and he was never there, he is now there for those kids and it hurts you. I understand” feeling myself getting choked up “everything is going to be ok baby” Chris moved back from me walking off “don’t follow me” he said lowly, he wants to be alone and I don’t want to be in his space. This whole VA trip has turned so terrible, pushing the chairs in. Let me clean up, that will give him time and space “Christopher!” hearing Joyce shout, this family is a mess and I complain about my own, hearing a bang of some sort “oh god” I said to myself, rushing out of the dining room. I hope he is not decided to start breaking things “leave me alone, you set me up. I hate you” Chris said to his mom, I gasped seeing the hole in the door. Did he just do that “I won’t have you breaking things!” Joyce shouted at him “this is my house, I can do what the fuck I like. You don’t own me, if I want to break things I will” I don’t like this side to Chris at all.

Chris and Joyce are literally going back and forth, I don’t want to get involved but this is too much “please stop this, this argument is getting nowhere” walking by Joyce “I told you to not follow me” Chris said “you right, you did and I did because I heard the bang and then I see you did that, just stop it. For me, just go to the games room. I don’t want this, I will come down with some food and we will talk” Chris turned around to walk off “he does really listen to you” Joyce said behind me “I am so angry at this situation, this could have all got avoided” Turning to Joyce “I don’t want to be rude or disrespectful but why!? Chris sees that man as a guy that never helped him when he needed it, whatever Clinton wanted from him he did it the wrong way. Why bring those kids, why set him up in such a way. Both of you did it to him and you still are, you got to back me up here Tootie” I know for a fact it wasn’t just me thinking the same shit “I did say it was a bad idea, Clinton and Chris have never been close. He was there in the background and Chris does blame him for not helping, he shouldn’t have felt like he needed to be a man at the age of fifteen if Clinton showed him the way. My brother’ mind was messed up from the jump, he is now settling down but I agree with Rihanna, it was wrong” I am glad I am not the only one.

Walking down the steps into Chris’ games room, I hope he hasn’t decided to trash the room. I got him a plate of food though, nothing looks ruined down here. Breathing out a sigh of relief, seeing Chris asleep on the couch with Cartoon Network on. Placing the plate on the table and his drink, sitting down next to him. Taking the remote out of his hand, reaching my hand up and placing it on his forehead. His head is a little warm “Chris” moving my hand away from his forehead “Chris baby” placing my hand on his leg and shook him “huh” he bought his head forehead “what happened?” he looked at me all spaced out “nothing, just waking you up. I got you some food, it’s cold down here. Eat so we can go to bed, take some painkillers and sleep” Chris cleared his throat stretching out his body “did you make this now?” Chris’ voice all husky “yeah, I made it for you. It’s fresh, what you trying to say?” Chris shuffled off the couch a little “nah, I was just asking. You put effort in for me” he opened his can of Sprite first “well I made some chicken for myself too, I ate that already and then I came here” holding my hand out, I am thirsty myself now. Chris moved the drink away from his lips “what?” he questioned “I am thirsty, give me the drink nigga” Chris chuckled “don’t drink it all” taking the can from him “your left enough saliva on the rim” side eyeing Chris “you’re the same woman to swallow my cum and be sucking on my tongue and you complaining about saliva, girl bye” moving the drink away from my lips trying not to laugh with the drink in my mouth, he is such an ass.

I hate wearing baggy clothes but I ain’t got the choice because baby Brown wants to make an appearance, I just feel the bump getting bigger. What if the baby is huge, I hope my body snaps back into shape. Furrowing my eyebrows as I stood to the side, I love seeing my stomach like this. I love being pregnant, to think I have a mini us in my stomach but if my body doesn’t snap back into shape, I will be depressed. Hearing the bedroom door close “did you speak to your mom?” I shouted to Chris from the bathroom, my nipples are huge and I mean I had big nipples already “yeah I did, why are you naked again?” picking up the tee from the side “because I like to stare at my body, what did your mom say? Did you lock up the home?” placing the tee over my head “already find your home creepy so you better have” pulling the tee down “I did, I checked it and it’s fine. I said sorry to my mom and she said sorry to me, she is hurting to know I feel the way I do, I don’t like speaking about it to my mom because it happened to her and it’s bad memories but that shit happened to her and then mentally I got scarred. We hugged and then she went bed, spoke to Tootie while I locked up. Now I am here” I am proud of him “I am happy with you, it’s not Joyce’ fault. She is gullible and I don’t think she thought he would do such a thing” Chris looks so tired so I won’t ask for sex, sucks for me I guess.

Sitting Indian style on the bed looking at Chris “why are you not getting in bed?” Chris asked as he placed the covers over him “I just feel like staring at you while you sleep, creepy right?” Chris pulled a face at me “it is, turn the table light off and get in bed” shaking my head “how are you feeling now?” reaching over and grabbing onto his hand “I feel kind of bad because he is my dad still and I would shed a tear if he did die but then I feel used, like he only wants me for other things. I feel like my family want to forget things that happened but I can’t, I can’t just hide what I felt then. I felt so helpless and I looked to my dad but he did nothing, I just want to forget it but I can’t. I think it’s more with the way he is about it. I am sorry I punched the door, I knew I was going to do something stupid that is why I wanted you to not come to me, I don’t want to disappoint you either Robyn. I want to be the best me to you” smiling at Chris “you already are, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself. Your knuckles are sore now too” Chris moved his hand away from my hand to look at his knuckles “it will go down, thank you for sticking by me” sighing out “I messed up once and I wouldn’t do it again, trust me” I just want Chris to be ok.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfiction

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finderskeepersff · 5 years

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67. Part 2

I be thinking how I get myself in these situations but then I remember that my temper gets the better of me, I don’t care though because I would do it again. Fuck them, I mean I don’t know what they got because they put me in this holding cell and luckily I ain’t have no gun on me, just money and my chain of my son, I am trying to be calm about this. They put me in this cell on my own, I feel like it’s been hours. It’s night fall too, nobody has spoken to me and if they have evidence of me doing that then I am doomed, I need to be hopeful they playing. I don’t miss this at all, I can hear niggas singing and shouting and I ain’t even been fed or anything “Cassius” hearing the door being unlocked “if you would like to follow us to the interview room” getting up from the bed “y’all not going let me put some shoes on?” he didn’t answer me but just stood there “hurry up” making my way out “follow me” I hate this Eddie guy, he is on my dick “put these slides on” he kicked them to me “I just want my Timberlands back?” mean mugging him “y’all full of shit” putting the slides on “I want to press charges on you all, y’all bruised my arm and cheek got a cut, dragged me too!” I spat, they fucking dragged me all the way here “you can cry to someone that cares, in the room now” I will get my revenge on him, walking into the room “nah, where is my lawyer” turning around “get the fuck in!” I got pushed back into the room, falling onto the floor. I am so fucking angry “get up then” getting up from the floor “now sit down” the officer gripped my arm and dragged me to sit down “shut your mouth too, speak when your spoken too” I ain’t saying shit so there is that.

I am not even interested at all “Brooklyn doesn’t have snitches, they all on your payroll, not in Atlanta. So what happened?” Eddie asked “I want my lawyer” I said, looking over at him “you think you going to have anyone help you, we have evidence” I sniggered “then show me it, you don’t have shit. You have some story from a guy I don’t know. Ain’t he some ex drug user? He’s black, why do you care?” his face dropped as he sat back “you going to let me go now?” he pulled a file over “we have reason to believe that Sofia Bundy’ car has been bought by drug money” they just want me here just because “are you done?” he flipped the picture “Sofia’ car leaving the car park, do you see the person driving it? So you was there” looking at the picture “she is pregnant, we was getting medication from there. And?” Eddie laughed “it was you, you beat him. You are also the same one for all these killings, it’s you. You are the boss of this new wave of drug selling, you are actually on our watch list. Did Jaivon not sell drugs right?” I stretched my body out “so my lawyer? Y’all want to keep me here long, you don’t have shit on me and you know it. I am a family man” Eddie sniggered “the boss never gets his hands dirty” I sighed out, they just want to get me on anything to keep me here.

Throwing my phone on the bed “they won’t let me speak to him, they won’t even tell me anything!” I spat, it’s stressing me out because I want to know if he is ok “Lucas is on the first flight out” Josiah said “he better hurry up, I am going there actually. I want to see Cassius, they have to let me see him” getting up from the couch “Sofia don’t, they are being spiteful and Cassius won’t want you there” hearing the buzzer go off “get that” I said as I walked off towards the kitchen, I knew the police would somehow get him and I didn’t want him to even go out but he did and now he is locked up, they can’t keep him. It’s hurting me to even think about it, the thought of him in there and he said that he would see me later but look at that, this is what scares me the most about his life “I heard” hearing Amira say, I didn’t want everyone to know “how?” Amira walked into the kitchen “Kyle told me, I mean the streets are always watching and saw it happen” Kyle stood behind Amira, I sighed heavily “I don’t need this” I walked off, I don’t need this.

I don’t want people watching, I mean they are not people but it’s just misfortune and it’s always Cassius or me, it’s just not fair on us and with the new year coming, am I going to do this alone again. Will they send him down, I have so many thoughts and I can’t even hear his voice “enough rolling around in your diaper, nightie needs to go on now” Cartier is just rolling around on the bed babbling to himself, my phone started ringing at the side of me. Grabbing my phone to see the I.D and it’s my mom, it’s late there so it’s weird for her to call me anyways. Answering the call “hi” I don’t usually answer, it’s like the second time I am even hearing her voice on the phone, first time Leyton was there “hey Sofia, I just wanted to check on you” please tell she doesn’t know too “why?” I questioned, I am confused on why she needs to call “I just couldn’t sleep, I just want to know you are coming to Barbados. And I just wanted to hear your voice and I can hear Cartier too” she doesn’t know then “oh right, I said I am, I just need to wait for Cassius on when he is free mom. It will be next month, Cassius terms too?” she needs to understand “I know, I just want you to come when you can. It’s nice to hear your voice, I am excited to see Cartier. We have Bryce here and Celine, she is leaving after the new year” rolling my eyes “anyways” I said “I need to go, put Cartier to sleep but I will come mom, don’t worry about it” I don’t know why she is so worried about it all when I am going there.

My heart feel so warm, just my son in my arms as he slept peacefully. Cartier is my heart, just to watch him sleep peacefully without a care in the world makes me happy. Pressing kisses to the top of his head, I love that Cartier is giving me lots of love. His eyes fluttered open but I swore he was asleep “hey baby, you awake still” he lifted his head up, he looked around the room “what is wrong?” Pushing his hair back away from his face, he stifled out a yawn and then rested his head back on my shoulder “ok then” I did think he was asleep but clearly not, he just want snuggles I guess. I guess he feels Cassius not close, I feel it too. Wrapping my arms around Cartier “sorry” Jasmine said in a whisper “Kyle wants to speak to you” nodding my head, I guess if he wants too “he’s asleep?” He pointed out “he trying too, he’s probably feeling his dad not being here. He’s always all over Cartier when he is here” I smiled “thanks for coming to the home, I know the love you both got is there” Kyle chuckled “he my nigga for life, I had to know y’all was ok but I know he wouldn’t want me here but I am. From what I know is that they going to try and pin anything on Cassius, they do this a lot with him and Lucas will get him out” nodding my head as I rocked Cartier again “you think Cassius will ever forgive me. I am starting to think he won’t now, it’s been a while. I miss my nigga, you know” Kyle is used to Cassius and him getting along again “I can’t say, he is being very stubborn with it all” I shrugged “he blames me for leaving you alone with him” I cringed a little “then it will be a while, you can just be there. I think he will eventually. You think I could see Cassius? Just for a little while or something?” I just need to see him “you could go and try, not sure. Erm, say you need to see him in regards to your baby, I don’t know. You could try?” I will try, I need to see him.

Ethan must have free ran here because he came Atlanta so quickly but he is walking me to the police station where they are holding Cassius, Ethan looks stressed as fuck “come” Ethan waved me over as he held the door “thanks, if you could let me speak and not you. Just wait out here, please” Ethan just looked at me dumbfounded “it’s an order” I added, I feel he will just ruin it. Walking over to the desk, there is like a few people waiting here, it’s quiet though anyways but it is late at night “how can I help you?” Handsome black man “hi” I smiled at him “is Cassius Warren here?” I asked, trying to play dumb “I can check for you” nodding my head, I need to see him. The officer is checking his computer I guess “erm, yes ma’am. He is booked in here” letting out an oh “but you knew that right?” He grinned “well, uh. I guess I did but I wanted to make sure. I need to see him” he paused and then breathed out “I can’t, I mean you can’t see him. It’s late and you shouldn’t be here, there is bad guys around and you shouldn’t be alone” licking my lips smiling “I need to see him, we have a son together but it’s his mom. She is in hospital, please let me see him and tell him. Just five minutes, please” he turned his head “he’s asleep” trying to see his screen “it’s important please, just five minutes. You can search me? It’s his mom, please” he took in a deep breath “give me your bag” he held his hand out “thank you” I breathed out “five minutes, no longer” he is so sweet, I get to see my baby.

God bless Cassius mom, hope she will be ok after this lie. I need to see him, I want to know he is ok, he is my heart “follow me ma’am” looking behind me and Ethan just side eyed me, I got my way so who cares. This officer is very muscular “what is your name?” He’s been ever so kind to listen to my lies “Howard” he answered, he seems so sweet “that’s cute, will you get in trouble for allowing me to see him?” I should shut my mouth “family emergencies, we’re not all that cruel” he turned around and I abruptly stopped “you know” he finished off “he is asleep” I smiled “wake him up then” I grinned, he nodded his head. Watching him bang on the door “visitor!!” He shouted and then grabbed the keys at the side of him “step back please” moving back a little, he pulled down a shutter “Cassius, you got a visitor. You awake?” I want to see him “come up where I can see you” he said, does he think Cassius would attack him, I mean he does have a tempter on him “good” he pulled the shutter up “he’s awake, not happy though” he unlocked the door and pulled it open “you got five minutes so if you would like to go inside” he is so kind “who the fuck is it” hearing Cassius say, slowly poking my head around “me” smiling as I said it, Cassius face dropped “what?” Slowly walking inside “will have to lock you in ma’am” the officer closed the door behind me but I don’t care “hey baby” Cassius looks bewildered that I am here, he thinks I’m not real “I must be asleep still, what?” Shaking my head at him “it’s me, it’s real. I am here, I needed to see you” grabbing his hand “I am real Cassius” staring at Cassius face “did they hurt you” I frowned, Cassius moved his hand away from mine.

He is still thinking I am not real “what is wrong? I came to see you, I had to leave Cartier with your sister. I came here to see you, baby what is wrong?” seeing his lower lip quiver “don’t get upset Cassius, you will be out. Lucas will get you out, also Ethan is here. He wanted me to not come here” Cassius placed his hands over his face “stop it, you going to make me cry. What is wrong” getting on my tiptoes to hug him “come here, my baby. I love you so much” pressing kisses to the side of his head “I love you too” he mumbled, he wrapped his arms around me “I don’t want you to see me like this, you know. Not here” it’s not even been a full twenty four hours and I miss him “wherever you go I am with you Cassius, are they feeding you here. It looks horrible” this place is nasty “they gave me my own hold cell, I could be in a populated one. I am shocked they let me see you” Cassius and I are not going to let go of each other “don’t get annoyed, I may like you know. Be all cute towards him, I also lied about your mom” Cassius let out an oh “that is ok, I miss you both so much. Tell Ethan, tell him I said he needs to get Jaivon to drop this, do not harm him but he knows what to do” Cassius said in a whisper in my ear “I fucked up again, niggas be pissing me off you know. But I want you to go home, just wait there for me please. Don’t come here again, tell dada I love him and I will see him soon” loosening my grip around Cassius as I moved back “how can I do that when I love you, my heart is with you. I can’t do that” Cassius swallowed hard “because I find it hard with you around” Cassius’ eyes searched my face, he smiled intently “I love you, tell the boy I love him ok?” they have hurt him, hearing the door unlock “come on now” I don’t want to leave him “I will and you will be back home soon, I love you too Cassius” he just nodded his head.

“Thank you” I said to the officer as he gave me my bag back “no problem” he smiled at me “let’s go” Ethan said behind me, Ethan creeped up behind me I didn’t even notice “I am coming” walking off ahead of him, Cassius is so sensitive when it comes to me, he is just a different guy with me and I see it. My baby just wants to be loved, he gets all weak with me and I feel it. I know he misses Cartier and I so much too “Josiah called, he said Cartier is not settling” I knew he would have woken up “thank you for letting me know, we are going home now anyways Ethan” my poor baby, I think he feels it with Cassius being away from us. Walking towards the car “oh and Cassius said you need to get that guy to drop this without harming him” Ethan unlocked the car door for me “I will do that, we will get him out. They ain’t got shit on him” I think I want Cassus out before the New Year comes around, poor him. If we don’t end up going Canada before this I know he will be hurt, I don’t want that for him at all “Sofia I need to take some money from Cassius spot in the home, I need to bribe the guy. Just if I need too” sitting in the back seat, that does mean I need to open that wall for him and I hope I remember how “I will” I mumbled.

I can hear Cartier from outside the door, he is really crying out in the home “I will get the money out, I just need to see Cartier first” stepping inside the home “I am back!” I shouted out, placing my bag on the floor. My poor baby, I didn’t think he would be like this “I am so glad you are back” Jasmine said as she walked over to me “I didn’t think he would do this, not this dramatic anyways, hey monkey. What’s wrong” taking Cartier from Jasmine “hey, it’s mommy. I love you” placing him over my shoulder “I know, I know. I am sorry” he is quietening down now “thank you Jasmine” turning around, I need to get the money out for Ethan “I won’t be a moment” pressing a kiss to the side of Cartier’ head “mommy loves you so much, it’s ok drama queen” walking up the steps, he is so dramatic. Maybe he just wanted me, he probably did.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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