#i love to laugh at this stinky bastard man

[redux-iterum]

A Canine Eulogy

We put down my dog, Geno, today.

Textwall of sentiment under the cut.

Shortly, he was ill, and steadily growing worse every day at a rapid decline of a week before his death. He'd have brief moments of cheeriness, then go back to being listless, sluggish and unhappy. The vet made it clear a few days ago that there was very little chance of saving him and that his quality of life (the most dreaded phrase in a pet owner's dictionary) was poor, and only getting poorer. We made the decision to end his suffering before it got so severe he couldn't climb up the stairs into my house, or have accidents indoors, or starve himself to death (as he was starting to). It didn't feel good, not remotely, but it had to be done.

I haven't talked about Geno on this blog, so I figure the best way to pay my respects is to tell you all how great of a dog he was. Probably a bit late to introduce him, but whatever.

Geno (nicknames including Bean, Stinky Bean/Gene, Eyebrows Boy, Old Man and Geno Bon Benostein) was a dog that we never figured out the breed of. Many people, charmed by his pleasant, permanent puppyface that was always so happy to see them, would ask me his breed, and my answer was "He's got big eyebrows, that's all I know". That generally got a laugh, which was nice.

We attained Geno when he was about half a year old in a move. My pops runs a moving company, and we get all sorts of things from moves that people don't want to take with them to the new house across the state. I don't think a single piece of furniture in my house isn't secondhand, that's how much we get.

Geno in particular was our first longterm pet from a move. The lowdown is that the customers were divorcing and were viciously arguing over every single item and animal in the house. The wife threatened to take Geno to the pound, and immediately Pops offered to adopt him. I found this out when he picked me up from a sleepover in middle school and had a second dog with him, along with our first. It was quite a delightful surprise.

Our first dog was less than obedient and more than indifferent to humans, loving to destroy stuff and escape constantly. Geno, on the other hand, was only concerned about staying within eyesight of his owners, to the point of sitting on a windowsill as well as he could and staring at us through the glass until we let him in (at the time Pops was not eager to have dogs in the house). We never needed to chain him up or fence him in - he was entirely devoted to us from jump and got as close as he could at all times.

The first dog eventually died, and Geno was the sole pup of the house. He thrived in that, and he made a point to prove himself to be an excellent dog. He never had an accident in the house for many years (until age got to him), preferring to potty in the bushes or brush so that we didn't have to worry about stepping in it or even cleaning it up. He never barked or ran away or growled at visitors, nor did he knock over trash cans or even so much as get fleas during the summer. The only things we struggled with were his great hatred of other dogs and aggressive fear of wheels. The wheel thing was a little more embarrassing, because he'd bark at some poor bastard in a wheelchair who was just trying to mind his own business. Like, great, thanks, Geno. Now we look like assholes.

Geno went on many, many trips across the country with us, especially to Yellowstone, which is a yearly voyage pops and I go on. He was a treat to travel with - he just wanted to rest his head between the front seats and look at us adoringly. He went to beaches, where he didn't enjoy the coast and instead stuck with us by inches, and on moves, where customers and their new neighbors would fawn over him and he got to be the Super Special Puppy Dog, which he loved. He went more places than most people I know, and certainly ate more pizza than any other dog in the United States while we were in hotels. Maybe not healthy for him, but man did he love his 'za, and he'd stare at us with his big ol' cow eyes. How could we say no?

This dog was a major part of my life - he was around for half of it, from middle school to adulthood. I don't think I can ever get another dog that would be nearly as wonderful as him, and I don't know that I want to. I think he raised the standard too high and made every dog I take care of (I housesit for a living) somehow not as good as him, no matter how well-mannered they are. I expect that to be that way for a very long time.

His collar, I decided, will stay in my car, hooked around the rearview mirror. That way, he gets to travel with me no matter where I go. He always did thoroughly enjoy a car ride.

Moonshine will miss him greatly. She was infatuated with him no matter how much he tried to make her go away. He gave up towards the end and started being nice to her, at least. I'm just glad I've got pictures of them interacting and her demanding his affections. Those are precious memories above precious memories.

The vet techs mourned with us as we said goodbye, calling him "one of the good ones". I think that's a pretty high compliment.

I hope he's happy, wherever he is.

You were a good boy, Geno.

#readmore #pets #real talk #i speak #not warriors

[mermaidmoose]

Inspired by @montyuh & @callsign-relic first contact AU oneshots - here’s the first fanfic I’ve written in literal years so uh, it’s a bit rough.

Soaring through the depths of space, far beyond the reach of man traveled a ginormous starship- the Lost Light. Measuring 15 miles long and 10 miles wide it was certainly spacious enough to comfortably accommodate a large crew … and one tiny new resident.

Back on Earth, you had signed up to be part of an expedition to an inhabitable planet far from home. In exchange for food, shelter, and the adventure of a lifetime you eagerly packed your bags and said your goodbyes to loved ones. The trip was supposed to take a few years total give or take. Nothing too strenuous.

To quote Murphy’s Law: “What can go wrong will go wrong”. The company responsible for creating the expedition’s starship had cut corners- lots of them. When the starship jumped into warp drive it shook so violently that your whole body was rattled and smashed into the ceiling of your capsule bed. You were lucky to get away with only severe bruising and a bloody tongue. Exiting the jump left the ship stranded, drifting aimlessly as everyone scrambled in the dark to collect themselves. With several of your more experienced crew-mates dead or injured, you and the few survivors chose to route the ship’s remaining power to fuel the escape pods to try to navigate back to Earth.

After a week of travel (according to your pod’s calendar) you were carefully navigating through an asteroid field when a large shadow fell over you. While you are grateful the giant-ass starship that appeared out of nowhere hadn’t obliterated you and your escape pod, you weren’t expecting to be kidnapped either. By giant alien robots no less! With a language barrier! And no sense of personal space or boundaries! Shit! You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the situation.

Well, you had tried quietly crying about it while wandering down one of the vast halls of the Lost Light, until a blue mechanical horror emerged from an adjacent hallway. To you, Whirl looked like something that had stepped out of a horror movie, with his gangly inhuman build, long neck, and large yellow optic that felt like it drilled right through you.

Whirl barely gives the fleshy creature a cursory glance, noting that it had stopped moving and making those weird noises. He hardly knew what all the fuss was about over such a small, fragile, stinky creature. One misstep and he’d be cleaning gunk out of his foot for several cycles. As he looked away and began ruminating on who he could heckle at Swerve’s a sound made his antennae twitch. It was the pitter-patter of tiny feet running away from him at a frantic yet pathetically slow speed.

Ok, so maybe he could gain some entertainment out of the thing at least. “Hey? Where you goin?” He drawls as he slowly follows after you. It was almost comical how slow he had to walk to not catch up right away. Did you really think those tiny legs could outrun him? “If you don’t pick up the pace I’ll pinch ya!” He leans forward and clacks his pincers menacingly at the empty air behind you.

You were scared shitless. Once Whirl started plodding after you, you contemplated if this was the end. Murdered or eaten by a metal alien monster and all because you wanted to explore beyond earth. ‘I wish I could go back in time and throttle myself’ you seethe as another pinch draws closer. ‘I wish I had never left home. I wish-‘ pre-death regret-thinking is cut to a halt by the appearance of a gap in the wall paneling. In an instant, all thoughts disappear as your body bursts forward with a surge of adrenaline. With a quickness neither of you were expecting, you squeeze yourself into the gap.

You heave a sigh of relief at your successful escape. Your victory is short lived however when Whirl’s optic comes into view and blasts you with what feels like the light of several hundred light bulbs. “Ow! Bastard!” you snarl. Without even thinking you blindly lash out and slap the offending optic. Whirl jerks back in slight surprise, not expecting to feel … whatever that was. Was that an attempt to fight back? Damn, this thing was pathetic. “Oh? Think you’re a tough guy? You’ll need to hit harder than that!” He jams one of his pincers into the gap above your head, trying to wiggle the wall panel open.

As Whirl is focused on the wall panel, you desperately squint around, looking for some means of escape. Thankfully, his loosening of the panel opened another gap on the opposite end. You make a break for it and rush out of the gap, not daring to look back. As you feel a rush of wind and the thrumming of danger (or is that the vibrations of something running?) a shout breaks through the chaos.

“Whirl! What do you think you’re doing!?” Before you can even register what’s happening a smaller, orange mech runs up and scoops you into his hands, holding you in a protective grasp. Though muffled you can still hear what you’re pretty sure is angry robot speak.

Rung rolls his optics at Whirl’s theatrics and sighs. “We’ll discuss this further at your next session. And don’t think this will go unreported- Ah, poor thing, you’re shaking” his attention is drawn back to you. The mech softly coos, gently running a finger along your back in soothing strokes. Truthfully at this point you’re shaking from a mix of adrenaline and relief, not fear. But you lean into Rung’s finger and note how much gentler he is compared to the other bots you’ve met so far. Orange eyebrows bot is now #1 in your book … whatever that means (god your brain is fried. you want a damn nap).

“Are you trying to kill the poor thing? Organics are much more fragile than us Whirl, even enough stress can kill them. Such as being chased by a giant mech! And don’t think I didn’t see you try to grab them!” Rung hardly raises his voice at others, but if Whirl is going to be a threat to the organic, he needs to intervene now.

“Tch! Relax eyebrows, we were just playing around. Y’know, bonding and all that slag. That’s what the captain said we were supposed to do right? Well,” He clicks his pincers. “This is how I bond. Bet we’re already besties! See?” Whirl stretches his neck out to get a closer look at you, but all you do is cower further into the orange mech.

Whirl lets out a dramatic gasp and places one servo over where his spark would be. “Did you see that doc? Rejected! Betrayed! I’m never gonna emotionally recover from this!”

“…It wasn’t that bad” the blue mech grumbles, somewhat affronted by Rung’s scolding and the weird itching at the back of his processor. “Whatever, I’ve got better things to do than hang with you two losers. Like getting drunk!” With that, the blue mech takes off with a cackle, leaving you and Rung in the dust to process everything.

‘I need to find my escape-pod as soon as possible, or else I’m gonna die here’ you morosely conclude.

#transformers #mtmte #mtmte whirl #mtmte rung #first contact au #I am so rusty at writing and it shows #the ghost of 12 year old me possessed current me and wrote this #maccadam

[brandnewhuman]

Hello!

I was wondering if I may request some headcannons on how any of the slashers you would like to do would react if their S/O either jokingly or spitefully body slammed them?

Or if you can't think of anything for that maybe how they would react if their S/O was able to successfully win in a playful wrestling match?

I love your writing <3 It's made me laugh so much! Thank you!!

SLASHERS GETTING

HUMBLED BY THEIR S/O

☆STARRING☆

Bo sinclair☆ aka greasy horny man

Michael myers ☆ aka stinky angry bastard

Asa Emory ☆ aka unhinged bug honorary dilf

CONTENT:

Tw: canon violence, Michael, Asa, mature language

A/N: ç_ç thank you so much. I love this request, sorry if it has took me so long to finish it but I've been very busy lately. Anyhow i love me some well deserved slasher bullying^^ most of them sometimes really need to get body slammed into humbleness 👹

BO SINCLAIR:

You hated when Bo had to go out of town to buy certain things

You always missed him so much and he would be gone for hours since the nearest town is really far

It all started with you holding his hands to stop him from zipping up his coverall 

"What are you trying to do, doll?" He knew you so well that you couldn't even try to hide your intentions anymore 

You let go of his hands to hug him but then he did the unspeakable 

HE TICKLED YOU. WITHOUT ANY REMORSE WHATSOEVER 

Caught by surprise you moved without thinking and just downright body slammed him on the bed 

In your defence you didn't meant to, you acted on reflex 

The way he was looking at you tho

He was flabbergasted, it seemed as he just witnessed you killing someone 

"Did you…how the fuck did you do it??" He frowned looking at you like you were an alien

You still had him pinned on the bed and after the initial shock you just bursted out in laughter 

Even you were caught by surprise by what you did

And he took it personally 

He was like "you know what? Maybe violence is the solution" 

So he pushed your arms against you (without hurting you of course) and rolled over so he was now the one pinning you against the bed

"Hey! No fair!! I wasn't even paying attention" and with that he got caged under you once again

The amounts of times he tried to overpower you failing miserably were concerning 

Truth be told you were having the time of your life doing this 

He was just getting his ego obliterated everytime 

It got to a point where you had to take mercy on him and allow him to win

Which he noticed and made him lose his marbles 

"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY LETTING ME WIN? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON" 

i- i can't GUYS I CAN'T 

The trip out of town was long forgotten and the two of you kept doing this shit until you body slammed him again, pinning him successfully on the ground without him being able to move

He was just wiggling under you almost on the verge of a mental breakdance about his ego getting destroyed like this

"OKAY YOU WIN. FUCKING HELL" "aaaw you give up so easily?"

Bro face went through all the shades of red and just closed his eyes trying to keep his cool 

One could think that because of Bo's past he was really mad but he trusts you so much that he knows that all of this is just playing around

That doesn't help the fact that he will pout for days about this saying that you didn't play nice 

If you ever tell anyone about this he can and will throw you in one of Lester's dumpsters pit of roadkill 

Can he tho? I mean if you don't beat his ass again maybe

Bro will swear on god that he let you win and you were just lucky

Once he accepts that he got his shit wrecked he will tell you to "instead of using that to bully your lovely boyfriend you should do it on victims" 

If you ever happen to successfully bodyslam and overpower one of those cocky bastards that always get on Bo's nerves making the whole killing them harder than it should be he will make sure to thank you properly. aka seggs time with our greasy man

MICHAEL MYERS:

Sometimes life gets boring, even for the boogeyman himself 

I can't remember who said but i read in one Michael Myers headcanon that he has like a very dry sense of humour, like he lives on inside jokes that only him and his malfunctioning unhinged brain can understand 

So when he gets bored he finds SO INCREDIBLY HILARIOUS to prank you

And by prank you I mean what Michael thinks is a prank which consists in disturbing your inner peace by scaring you with the most stupid shit he can pull off

Today we're taking a trip back in time and use a classic stunt that Michael seems to always find super funny

Dressing up as a ghost to just come out of the blue and scare your soul out of your body

Safe to say he didn't expected to get attacked like this

He planned everything so the prank could actually work 

Michael made sure to disappear for three days so he can get that surprise effect 

He waited until it was late at night when you usually start to get ready for bed

You were kind of worried about Michael. You're used to him to be out longer but never more than two days.

You were scared that something might had happened to him but even if you knew you wouldn't be able to find him and help him

The fact that you were being so nice to EVEN WORRY ABOUT THIS BITCH 

He put on the white bedsheet and putting at use his sneaky abilities he got inside your room and slowly walked towards you

You had you back facing him. You mindlessly brushed your hair as your concern for Michael invaded your mind

For the first time in his life he couldn't hold back the big smile he had at the thought of your face contorted in fear. This man is having the best of moment of his fucking life at your expenses 

It only took  Michael to put one (1) hand on your shoulder for you to choose violence 

Okay I want you all to collectively imagine this

A tall ass deranged bitch with a bedsheet over them getting brutally slammed against the fucking floor by who he thought was a peaceful and incapable of harm person 

To add to that fucking glitch in the simulation keep in mind said bitch is the eVil inCarnAted, the mf shape of haddonfield 

AND AS IF IT WASN'T ENOUGH YOU TOOK HIM DOWN SO FAST HE GOT DIZZY SO HE COULDN'T EVEN DEFEND HIMSELF 

bro was taking the ego violation like a champ laying on that floor

Before land what would be a avenger threat level of a punch in his face you thought well of taking the sheet of so you could see who was the son of a bitch that had the audacity of try you 

"WHO THE FUCK ARE Y- oh, Michael?...w- MICHAEL" 

What an unexpected turn of events, it's YOUR son of a bitch 

He was glad of having on his mask too cause mate this is embarrassing 

He was questioning life and watching the world spinning around while simultaneously trying to understand how to get over the fact he has been body slammed by you

He snapped his eyes at you and in that moment he was like "ight, you wanna do this? LET'S DO IT. COME ON, YOU AND ME" 

Fair to say he took this whole thing very personally 

"Michael?..mi- no. Don't you fucking d-"

Congrats, you now have to wrestle with Michael Audrey Myers 

He used all his tricks, bringing out the big dogs and all. 

He even attempted to tickle your horny side by choking you so he could make you lose focus enough for him to put you in place

Didn't work, too angry mikey boy

At this point it was just sad how the two of you, both grown adults, kept going with this

You two clowns kept going, making a mess all around you

It all lasted until you straight up blocked Michael against the floor making moving or getting up successfully impossible for him

"STAY THE FUCK DOWN MICHAEL GODDAMMIT." 

he groaned out of anger and frustration. He didn't have any dignity left so he just gave up 

That night he didn't even went near you and when you tried to ask him if he was okay because you felt guilty about possibly hurting him he almost took killing you in consideration 

After that shit he just kept trying to get the upper hand over you out of spite.

Baby boy is not going to forget this until he dies 

And you successfully humble him every time 

ASA EMORY:

He kind of deserves this, being that much of a menace while getting cocky about it too can't he be healthy. He surely needs a reality check

You were one of Asa favourites, his pet if you will

The thing is that you knew perfectly how easy would be for you to just put him in his place and go away 

He apparently wasn't aware of this and if he was he never said anything

YOU allowed HIM so many things 

I know what everyone is thinking now "why would I stay or allow that if I can do something about it?"

You always had that "I can fix him" sort of mentality 

You met Asa at the University, you were colleagues and for a while you thought you both were like in love for real

Turns out bro was a psycho turning people into insects as a side hobby 

Maybe it was the Stockholm syndrome kicking in but you stayed because you actually care about him and you know deep inside he could be a good person

Yeah you're kinda dumb I'm sorry

But not everything sucks. Being Asa fav it's actually quite nice if you like don't put at work your brain cells too much

Lately though he has been noticing something. And he actually felt kinda stupid for not noticing before

You never did anything to fight him and if you did it was almost like you were restraining yourself from hurting him seriously 

Now I think that Asa is one of the few slashers who would be willing to sacrifice his ego just for the sake of knowing everything about you that could be useful

So one day, he decided to find out if you were really holding back or it was just him imagining things

It all happened so fast, one minute he was just putting makeup on you as always and the next he was trying to stab your face with one of his knife he hided in his pocket 

You immediately stop his arm from hitting your face, holding Asa wrist and looking at him wide eyed 

"What the fuck was that for?!" He tried to hit you again with his free hand and now you had to get back away from him ending up in falling from where you were sitting

He kept trying to attack you without answering your continuous questions

You tried mostly to dodge everything without actually hitting him back but when he caged you against the floor trying to slice your throat you just had to do something 

You were blocking him by pushing with your own forearm against the his to keep the black of the knife off your skin

You could feel your strength starting to falter in your arm so you just managed to free one of your legs to land your knee between his legs hard enough for him to get off of you

That gave you the time to swiftly switch positions slamming his big frame against the hard ground and snatching the knife from him, throwing it far away from both of you

"Stop! What's wrong with you!!?" There's a whole two part movie about that babe 

He was just looking at you in awe and now has finally stopped moving 

When you felt him relax you slowly let him go but kept on alert for any sign he might start fighting again

He slowly took off his mask and looked at you with a soft gaze, a small smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. One hand reached up towards your face to cupped your cheek, stopping briefly when you flinched slightly 

The realisation hit him so hard that it almost knocked out the air of his lungs. 

You could've escaped a long time ago, you could've defended yourself at any given moment and just left him behind. Hell you could've even killed him if you really wanted to but you never did. You silently let him do whatever he wanted without never doing anything to hurt him 

It was fascinating, he had never experienced something like this. He looked at you like it was the first he really did see your truly, that he noticed every little special thing about you were things you let him see because you wanted to and not because he pushed them out of you

You did really like him and you genuinely cared for him. This knowledge was something weirdly comforting for him

Lately the idea of you merely fearing him was not enough, he wanted you to need him and want him 

And now that he knew you were capable of just raw strength and capacity of defending yourself but never used it against him is, for the first time in his life, making him feel butterflies tickling his insides. 

You were still on top of him, just looking down into his face clueless and confused but leaning on his touch nonetheless oblivious to the fact that Asa was now starting to believe you were becoming more of only a pet for him. 

#slasher community #slasher fandom #slashers #slasher fanfiction #horror movies #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #michael myers #halloween #bo sinclair #slasher #house of wax #og michael myers headcanons #asa emory x reader #asa emory #peepaw myers x reader #peepaw myers #peepaw michael myers #rz michael myers #bo sinclair x reader #the collector #og michael myers

[duckwithablog]

Hi!!! I saw your requests are open! May I request some dating hcs for Macaque and Sun Wukong??

Please and thank you! I hope you are having an excellent day /night! ^^

Dating hcs for Macaque and Sun Wukong

Hello!! Hope this fits your tastes, have a good day/night as well!!

Macaque

God, look at this damn emo

Ngl, even to this day, he's still bewildered how he managed to bag YOU of all people /pos

He doesn't really believe in love, at first. He was mostly focused on his revenge against Wukong, so he didn't really have time for relationships and all that

And then you strutted in his life and he's all 😳

LOTS of teasing and flirting. This smooth bitch will never ever run out of things to say about you

Throws in some compliments here and there, but he mostly lets his actions speak for him. Like how he carries you to your bed whenever you get tired and fall asleep somewhere uncomfy, or how he leaves some things for you with a cute little note whenever he leaves

Very big on Gift Giving and Words of Affirmation

They may or may not be stolen, but you appreciate the thought

He shows you mini shadow plays on a lot of stuff, either of his adventures on trying to get revenge on Wukong or some myths in chinese mythology

He does that little thing where he makes shadow puppets with his own hands and teaches you how to do it

You guys make silly plays together with that, and Mac has a ton of fun messing with you

Not a big fan of physical affection in the beginning, so take it slow with him

Like, give him some shoulder pats or snuggling into his side before the cuddles

You know, start small

He'll tense up whenever you do try physical affection, but he assures you he's fine

He gets more used to it as time goes on and eventually melts into your touch

Cue the touch starved Macaque

Mans will full on flop onto your lap expecting attention or cuddles or whatever

He will not let you go until you comply, the bastard is holding you hostage

Giggles or laughs whenever you just give up and return his love because he knows he got you

He lends you his scarf once or twice, but be careful because I don't think he ever washes his clothes

Steals your shower products and uses it himself. You once caught him using your face masks and he convinced you to join him

Frequent night terrors, please hold him close and whisper some reassuring words when this happens

Whenever you get nightmares, he's immediately by your side and comforting you. Whispers to you how you're okay and keeps on talking because he knows you like his voice

Speaking of...

he LOVES hearing your voice. He keeps telling you that he hears all the sounds in the world, but nothing can compare to how you sound like <33

He gets insecure sometimes, thinking that eventually you'll leave him (either by your own choice or if death gets you) and gets a crisis

He always ends up going to your place and silently cuddling you

He'll mumble for permission first or just straight up appear right next to you and wrap you in his arms

He barely speaks when this happens, he just wants to be in your presence to assure himself that you aren't going anytime soon

All in all, this man needs lots of love!! And he'll return those affections tenfold!!

Sun Wukong

Celebrity boyfriend who?

This guy is hell of a lot more bolder than Mac, that's for sure

He's also louder. Like he'll full on go "Y/n!!!!" whenever you come visit him in the mountain and charge at you for a hug

Big tease. Always goes "You know you love me, Y/n~" whenever you playfully get mad at him

Please, god, introduce him to hygiene. This stinky ass monkey has no concept of showers. Hose him down if you have to /j

Subtly shows off in front of you. If you (somehow) had no idea about his adventures, he uses it as an opportunity to show off how strong and cool he is

He'll do this by helping you with a lot of things using his powers

Oh you need to carry something heavy? Don't worry, your boyfriend the Monkey King's got that handled!

Gotta go somewhere quick? Pfft, don't sweat it, he could give you a ride on his cloud!

Need help cleaning your house? Clones are already there to help out!

Always somehow touching you. Either his tail is wrapped around your ankle or if your pinkies are linked, he's always somehow holding you

He is also touch starved, if you can't tell- /lh

He LOVES coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your torso in a hug. It spooks you sometimes and he chuckles as he buries his face into your shoulder

It's already kind of obvious, but he's big on Acts of Service and Physical Affection

He turns into a multitude of animals whenever you go out in public. He once transformed himself into a mouse and napped in your pocket while you did grocery shopping

Get used to having this man sleep on top of you. You are literally his own personal pillow. Grips onto you like a koala in bed

The baby monkeys love having you around!! Sometimes you play with them and Wukong always has to stop himself from melting because he thinks you're so cute

Bridal carries you a lot. He fucking loves carrying you.

If you ever mention that you need to get carried somewhere he'd go "SAY LESS"

He just loves holding you close that way

Shows you the best spots on his mountain to chill together. He once prepared a picnic for you guys on one of the mountain peaks to watch the sunset

He always sneaks in little compliments whenever you guys talk. Things like "Good job!" or "You did great!" whenever you do something

Actually gives out great advice?? It makes sense, since he's like, immortal but he sometimes gives you a piece of really wise advice and you get shocked

"See, I can be wise if I want to be!"

"Yeah... It's still surprising though"

"Hey!"

It's all in good fun though!

He probably picked up a lot of hobbies, so he'll try to teach you some stuff he once was into

He'll be super proud of what you make, regardless of the result

"What, no, what are you talking about? This looks great! We should put in somewhere in your house."

He doesn't say it much, but he would literally do anything for you. He's definitely a keeper!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked it! I'm still trying to get a hang of Macaque, but SWK was fairly easy to write!!

#lmk x reader #macaque x reader #lmk macaque #lego macaque #sun wukong x reader #lego monkie kid sun wukong x reader #lego monkie kid macaque x reader #lego sun wukong #lego monkie king #monkey king x reader #monkie kid x reader #monkie kid #duckiswriting

[lovearne]

The Park

Johnny "Soap" McTavish x gn!reader

My page is 18+ only. I don't tolerate minors here, this is my safe place to express myself, and I don't consent to minors viewing my works or my blog.

Content: talks of ptsd, allusions to other mental health issues, grumpy reader, emotionally closed off reader, sunshine soap, service animals

Word count: 1.9k

No use of y/n and no descriptive of reader physically

Most days, all you feel like doing is curling in bed and cuddling with your dog. Today isn't most days, you've had an amazing day at the park with Zero, your comically named bulldog, the both of you sat in the overhanged day, not too hot or cold. He'd get up and play with other dogs and greet people, knocking children over by accident but giving them a big old kiss to make up for it.

Zero had plenty of water kept cool by the shade of the bag you'd brought, also some treats and food in case you stayed there past his feed time. He loved being outside, he was happy outside, and you were happy to see him so happy. He'd been good for your mental health, forcing you to get into a routine to care for the little stinker, but it helped a lot.

The day you got him you hadn't planned on getting a dog, but he was a small puppy left by himself in the middle of nowhere, abandoned. You'd been on a nature walk. Now he was a large lump of huggable, lovable, stinky bulldog.

You didn't much like when people encroached on your alone time, but when you were approached by a little long nose against your neck, you laughed. It was another dog, trying to figure out who you were, the dog moved on to smell Zero, the two happily sniffing each other before sitting down to chew on Zeros favourite toy. The unnamed greyhound and your bulldog quite enjoyed each other's company. You'd decided you would await the pet parent of the greyhound and just let the two play.

You watched both your dog, and the stranger dog, not wanting to miss a sign of agitation from either, you trust Zero, but you know how easily a mood can change, and all you knew about the other pup is that they love playing. The two eventually stopped chewing on the toy, opting instead to lay beside each other, the greyhound taking a drink from Zeros bowl.

When they were calm, you checked the greyhound over, no collar, and no identification. You stroked the animals fur, "it's ok baby, if no one comes before we leave, we'll get you check for a microchip. We'll have you home in no time." You said to the animal, they leaned into your touch, stretching their back. "What a good dog!" You praise as they moved their head to rest on your leg, zeros resting beside your thighs. You kept yourself busy, making sure to give equal attention to the two dogs, you were worried however, when the day progressed and none came looking for the lovely dog. Frowning as you pull your extra leash from your rucksack, you tie gently around the dogs neck, no collar so just softly as to not choke them, clipping Zeros leash to his harness, you went about packing your things, pulling out the on the go water bottle you have for him, clipping it to your belt hoop.

Once everything was packed you brought the two with you, walking down the park and back into the area of which you lived.

"Hey!" You heard, fixing to ignore it, you continued walking. The greyhound had stopped though, turning the other way, and when you looked down, you could see their tail wagging. "Bruce!! There ya are! I've been looking for ya!" A distinct voice called out, the way the dog reacted you knew the voice is their pet parent. You turn to greet the owner, seeing a guy, a little over six foot with a Mohawk.

"This is your dog?" You question, your face set hard with no emotion, the man looked a little shocked.

"Yes?" You sigh.

"Is it a statement or a question? There was no id on this dog. How am I to trust you?" The owner nodded.

"Aye, sorry. I'm Johnny." He says cheery, "and I've been looking for that little bastard all afternoon." They pointed to the dog, who you now know as Bruce. "He got away from me while we were stopped. Always slips his collar." You nod.

"Before j give you the dog, I'm going to request you show me a timestamps picture of him." The stranger, Johnny nods, pulling their phone out to show you. You seen the picture, Bruce was laying with his arms and legs sticking up on his back, happy as a pig in shit. You nod. "Alright, Bruce it was very nice meeting you." You address the canine, patting his head.

You and Johnny split ways, each head to your own houses. You got Zero ready to relax, taking his harness off and giving him a nice brush. "OK baby let's get you fed.

The next day, you were taking Zero for a walk, being colder, you were in a hurry to get the exercise in, walking a bit too briskly. Almost falling over when Zero stopped very abruptly. After gaining your balance you turned and seen the same dog from yesterday.

"Hey Bruce!" You said giving him a pat, not really acknowledging the owner.

The day after you were at the park again, Bruce and Johnny finding the two of you. They sat beside you, Zero moving close to Bruce and initiating the spark of both chewing on a rope toy.

"So," Johnny starts. "What's yours name?" You stare at him. He visibly tenses then relaxes. "You remind me of my coworker. He looks at me like that all the time." Your face softens a little.

"His name is Zero." You mumbled. Uninterest in your voice. Johnny smiles.

"I love tha name." He compliments. "Is there a reason behind it?" You nod. "What's the meaning?"

"Vet gave him a 0% chance of living to the age of one." He nods, face paled a little.

"How old is he now?"

"Three." You smile broadly. Your smile was the brightest he's seen in a while. He huffed and slapped your shoulder.

"There ya go!!" He encourages. Zero was alerted by the hit and sat up, glowering at Johnny.

"Shh, Zero heel. That's it good boy, lie down." You calmed the large dog down, Johnny must admit, he was insanely drawn in by you.

"Smells like it's gonna to rain soon, maybe we should move somewhere inside, yeah?" You nod. "My place is just down the road a little." You followed him.

----

Waking up to the two dogs on your bed, you smile. Zero and Hank, a dog you'd recently rescued, a whippet. The company of your animals is all you'd need. Zero was getting grey these days, his joints starting to give up. You'd purchased what you call your 'Zero wagon' a nice flat and comfortable wagon for him to ride to the park in. He was now an elderly dog, using ramps to get around in your house, and hank enjoyed them too, he had 3 legs and moved slower than he would've been before. His previous owner gave him up when he needed his leg removed.

He rode along in the hank wagon sometimes, sometimes he was happy for the walk down to the park. They both enjoyed the outside greatly, and the neighbourhood kids who loved petting Zero and getting knocked over by him now came and gave him lots of treats as preteens and teenagers.

"OK boys, let's go." You say softly, trying to wake the two sleeping dogs. Poor zero had been going deaf these past few months, you wake him softly by petting his back and putting your hand in front of his snout. When he woke he got up and started to lock your hand, you giggled. "Hey boy!" Hank also woke up, his right front leg pawing at you excitedly, standing on his two back feet. "Hey hank!!" You greet.

After your boys had breakfast, you got them ready to go to the park, putting on Zeros vest that said 'be patient I scare easy'. And Hanks vest that covers his still irritated amputation scar, it's been healed for nearly a year, you'd adopted him when you took Zero to the vet for his annual. The scar still gives him trouble, so it's best to cover the sensitive part up while going to play outside.

By the time you got the boys all ready and in the wagon, it was 9am. The perfect time to go to the park, packing the dogs lunches and a picnic basket, you head down to the park. The boys really love the wagon, the sit and watch through the mesh, or in hanks case, he stands holding the railing if the wagon with his paw watching as you pass people on the busy street, it being a school day there are children milling about waiting for school to start.

You chose a nice shady spot for you and the boys, laying down the large blanket for you and them, placing the multiple dog beds you keep in the wagon on the blanket. Right away, Zero chooses his spot, in a nice comfy bed, and Hank walks around a bit before he laid against Zero. You smile at their close bond, you get out three dog bowls and fill them with some water from the thermos, knowing that you'd be seeing a particular mohawked man in a few minutes.

Your assumption was correct, he approached the blanket full of sweat, with two greyhounds, Bruce being the slowest of the two, and Lassie, the younger, keeping up with him as he jogged over.

Bruce, the rescued racing dog, and retired service dog was older now too, he still tried to be of assistance and service Johnny with his ptsd and anxiety post life changing injury, as you'd learned a few months after meeting the man. He'd now retired from active duty but still worked on the base close to home. Lassie was his new service dog, Bruce retired 2 years ago, and he'd gotten her last year, she was a sweet little girl he is training her himself with the help of Bruce. She was rescued from the racetracks as well.

You had asked him why another greyhound, and he'd just replied that they made him feel like he was doing some good, as they were doing good by helping him. You knew jusy by watching Bruce, he hop in the wagon for the rude home as well. The poor boy looked about to pass out, he'd had a nice jog with his dad.

"Hey babe." Johnny had said after undoing both dogs from their leads, he leans over to give you a kiss.

"Hello husband mine." You joke at him, he smiles big.

"Hello spouse of mine." He giggles with you, "what are we? Sherlock and Watson?" You laugh a bit harder.

"Those two were best friends." He nods.

"I think we are quick little more than that love." He states, leaning to kiss you.

"Ugh, get away fiend! Pda who are ya?" He laughs.

"C'mon love i haven't had a kiss alllllll day." He pleads. "And you love pda." He reminds.

"You smell bad."

"You look bad." The two of you stare at each other and burst into giggles.

"After so many years I can't believe me and you still love each other." You state.

"5 Years really isn't that long sweetheart."

"It feels like forever." He nods.

"I love you." He says and gives you a peck on the cheek. You smile warmly at him. His smile matching in full.

He loved you so much, and was so glad to be the reason you don't look miserable all the time anymore, now it's just when he isn't with you. The two of you changed each other for the better and he couldn't imagine spending his life with anyone else.

#gn!reader #arne writes #soap x reader #john mctavish #john mctavish x reader #cod mw2

[theboysfromaustin]

I am a very dignified writer.

----

June 3, 2004

Ian bit his lip, tapping his pen on the list, wondering how much produce he could buy that he and Kazuo could actually eat before it went bad.  Kazuo brushed against him, catlike.  This was their first trip to Central Market together, and he was trying to get actual food for Kazuo, who self-admittedly, had grown up eating cold canned goods and gas station roller grill items.

Ian was happy to have Kazuo.  He felt younger, more invigorated.  They were in love, that was the simplest way to put it.  Kazuo leaned on the cart, “It's weird to eat fresh veggies ‘n fruit.” “You'll feel better if you eat fresh food.  It's nice to cook for more than just myself and Maureen.” “You're an excellent chef.  You spoil me.”

Ian smiled, absorbing the praise.  Praise from Kazuo was high praise.  He loved his scrappy, young partner.  He began to pick through the massive selection of apples, Kazuo's hand lingering on his hip.  He got engrossed in the selection, not noticing Kazuo slip away.  What he did notice quite quickly was…

The smell.

He sniffed, lip curling, looking around.  He did notice now that Kazuo had disappeared.

Conveniently.

Little bastard.

He did notice the people around him were now staring. In horror. In disgust. He felt a creeping blush overtaking his face and neck, and he went into defensive mode, “I…I, um…that wasn't…”  He stammered, sweat beading on his brow.

A baby began to cry, unable to comprehend the horror of the creeping stench.

“My…my boyfriend is…lactose…int…” His face was crimson now.  People were shaking their heads as they fled the area.  A man entered from the other side, stopped, and turned around.  “I..I didn't…Kazuooooooo…..” He groaned.  Great.  Now he was the token smelly guy.  He trudged forward, head low, trying to find his evil, stinky bastard boyfriend.

In the bakery, Kazuo leaned on a bread display, giggling like a total idiot.  Ian was very polite about his lactose intolerance.  Hell, they were getting into an at-home rapport of completely immature jokes, which delighted him.  He knew Ian would come to find him.  He felt bad, but he knew Ian would find the humor in it.  Ian put on a dignified and serious front for work, but they'd only been together intimately for a couple days, and last night Ian had fallen asleep with his head on Kazuo's chest, and at some point, violently farted them both awake.

They'd both nearly pissed themselves laughing.  That's how he knew Ian was the one - a gentle, sexy, wildly intelligent lawyer who looked like the lovechild of Sam Waterston and Dermot Morgan, but who also had the sense of humor of a fourth grader?  Perfection.

Ian grabbed Kazuo under one arm, and unceremoniously dropped him into the cart, “Come on, stinky.” “Hi.” “You're mean.” “I had a bad childhood.” “Your stank made a baby cry.  A BABY.” “How many points is that?” Ian made a strangled, choking sound as he tried not to laugh, “Ah, Christ.  I think we need to leave before they have to fumigate.” “I crave milk.” “Fuck no.” “Cheese?” “I'm going to stick you in a freezer.”

Kazuo leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Ian's chest, “It was funny.” “It wasn't.” Kazuo looked up.  Ian was staring dead ahead.  If he looked at Kazuo, he would laugh, and Kazuo would win and continue his reign of terror.  Kazuo reached up, placing his hands on Ian's cheeks.  “You smell.” “You don't mind.” “God knows why.  I'm buying soy milk.” “You wouldn't.”

“Called my bluff.  Can't stand that shite.” “Haha.” “Hush,” Ian snickered, relenting and kissing his head, “You're cute.” “I know.” “Humble! Enough bravado for seventeen people.” “Can we go back to the fruit section?” “That's probably a bad idea.” “I love you, sweet boy.” “I love you too.  You're my stinky weirdo,” Ian ruffled Kazuo's hair.

Their relationship was new, but it was also weird and extremely loving - different from all the others he'd been in.  As weird as Kaxuo was…

Ian was willing to do anything for him.

#oc #original character

[vincess-princess]

as we were falling

formerly untitled

ch. 3

a/n: do you like the title? idk if this idea is going anywhere but i felt bad leaving it nameless

warnings: take a wild guess (violence, piss mention)

word count: 1777

“It’s full,” Tommy said, plopping down onto Nikki’s mattress. “Heaping, even.”

“Damn it.” Nikki squeezed his knees tighter, agony on his face. “When are they gonna empty it? I’m dying here, man.”

“They usually do it after breakfast.”

“Breakfast was hours ago. Any chance they’re gonna do it today?”

“Eh…”

“So no.”

“Yeah,” Tommy sighed. One bucket for twenty captives definitely wasn’t enough, even when emptied regularly, and when it wasn’t… things got stinky. Nikki, still chained to the wall (Tommy couldn’t look at the red stripe of irritated skin underneath the ring of the handcuff without shuddering), couldn’t even make trips there, so the bucket instead made trips to him – with Tommy’s help.

Now, though, he couldn’t risk lifting it without splashing the contents all across the floor. The room already smelled worse than an underground bar toilet, and Tommy thought nothing could beat that. The first assumption his new life proved wrong, he thought grimly.

“We’re already drowning in shit, and now they decide to make it literal,” Nikki grumbled. “God, I’d love to splash it on their faces. Shower them in shit. Unite them with their kind, so to say.”

For a second Tommy indulged himself on imagining the guards’ faces if it happened. Or, rather, their shrieking and yelling – they couldn’t see their faces behind the helmets, after all. It was no great loss – helped somewhat, even. It made it easier to believe that those were some aliens, evil minions, androids, whatever – not real, regular people like them and Nikki for whom what they were doing was a job just as much as cleaning tables in a café was for Tommy. They did it for a living, probably had families they came home to. Did they ever tell them stories from work? “So this one captive today threw up on the boots of my buddy Jackson and we electrocuted her for fifteen seconds for that”?

“Hey?” he heard Nikki’s voice. Then he snapped his fingers in front of Tommy’s face. “Ground control to major Tom. Can you hear me?”

Tommy slapped his hand away. “Don’t interrupt me. I am speaking that into existence.”

Nikki huffed. “Oh, I’m sorry, master wizard. Of course, keep on weaving your spells. I’ll be here, peeing my pants quietly.”

“Well, what else can I do?” Tommy threw his hands up. “I’m already running back and forth with this bucket for Your Majesty to shit in three times a day. You could show a little gratitude.”

“I’m very grateful,” Nikki said seriously, but the force with which he pressed his hand to his chest gave out a taunt. “It doesn’t help my problem, though.”

“I’m not giving you my cup.”

“I wasn’t even thinking of that, but now that you mentioned it…” Nikki began eyeing Tommy’s cup hungrily. Tommy moved it farther back so that Nikki couldn’t reach it.

“You have no soul.” Nikki crossed his arms on his chest, but didn’t really pull off the offended face, only prompting Tommy to laugh. “You cruel, cruel bastard. What am I to do? Piss on the floor? Or hold it in and explode from too much pee?”

“You know,” Tommy looked at the floor with renewed interest, “it’s already dirty… wouldn’t hurt much.”

Nikki threw his head back and laughed. “We really getting desperate here, aren’t we? By the way,” he suddenly changed the topic, “when’s dinner?”

“Not sure,” Tommy said, confused. “It’s hard to track time here, you know. But… I’d say, in about half an hour.”

“Great. It won’t dry off by then.” Nikki said, whipped out his dick and peed right into the passage between the two rows of mattresses. “They always pass through here,” he grinned, shoved his dick back into his pants and returned to his place. Tommy and a dozen other captives watched the urine lazily flowing along the passage.

Tommy turned to Nikki and was met with a beaming smile.

“You really have no limits, man,” he said.

“The sky is the limit,” Nikki declared pompously. “And also it was the only place I could reach. But, as they say, two birds with one stone! They’ll have to walk along the passage, there’s not enough space between mattresses for the trolley. And my bladder isn’t tearing apart. I say, we’ve got a good deal.”

Thousands of objections began running through Tommy’s head until they became background noise. Yes, it will get their asses kicked, but it’s not like it hadn’t happened before. Besides, he wanted to hear the guards’ screams when they realized what they were walking on. Maybe it will get them to empty the bucket in time, too.

“Yeah,” Tommy grinned back. “Maybe it will teach them a lesson.”

Over the next half an hour three captives tried to demand they wipe the piss down, but to no avail. Nikki smiled at them with his brand smile – all sharp teeth and a crazy gleam in his eyes – and Tommy offered them to do it themselves if they disliked it so much, which none of them rushed to do. The urine persisted until the guards arrived with a trolley full of nutrient paste.

As expected, they didn’t look down. As expected, they heard the splash when it was already too late.

“Who the hell spilled water here?” one of the guards looked around the room. Everybody averted their gazes. “One of us could slip on that! If that happens again we’ll remove the washbowl and ration your water too!”

“Guys,” another said, “is it just me or does it smell like piss in here?”

Tommy and Nikki exchanged looks. It was increasingly hard not to laugh.

“Of course it does. The bucket’s heaping.” And they all laughed, the sound muffled by their helmets but nonetheless disgusting.

They began throwing packages with the paste at the captives, not really bothering to aim, but even when a package hit someone’s head, no one dared to say a word. Seeing people so beaten into humiliation and obedience was revolting, but also Tommy knew what they would get were they to act up, and he understood them. After all, when it’s a choice between dignity and survival, every normal person would choose the latter.

Nikki, by these standards, was straight-up bonkers, because he never once lowered his gaze even when black helmets turned right towards him. His sheer recklessness infected Tommy, because every time the piss splashed under the guards’ boots he couldn’t hold back a smile.

Eventually it attracted attention.

“What’s so funny, you pipsqueak?” One of the guards poked him in the shoulder with a bat.

“Nothing,” Tommy said quickly, staring at the guard’s wet boot traces on the floor.

“Bullshit!” The bat poked him harder. “You find something here funny? Tell us, we want to laugh too.”

Other guards began turning around and looking themselves over suspiciously. Tommy waited with bated breath for them to discover they were standing in piss.

“You see,” he began, “sometimes things are not what they seem. Not all that’s liquid is gold, but sometimes… it is.”

“What the hell does that mean? What liquid?” The guard looked down and Tommy could almost see his face falling. “Is this- is this-“

“That’s fucking piss! I said it smells like piss! I said it!” another one screamed, trying to wipe the soles of his boots on the floor. Tommy could only hope Nikki’s piss was acidic enough to leave those boots smelly for at least a little while after. “He peed in the fucking aisle!”

“You bastard!” the guard growled, grabbing Tommy by the scruff of his robe and single-handedly pulling him onto his feet. “You son of a bitch!” He pushed Tommy in the middle of the room towards the other guards. Tommy could bet their faces were creased with anger, and a chill went down his spine.

“Look at ‘im! He did it on purpose!” The one who smelled the piss jumped forward and raised the bat over his head. Then it collided with Tommy’s shoulder, and he almost dropped onto his knees, his vision for a second going white.

“Hey! Hey! He didn’t do it!” he heard from behind his back. Dammit, Nikki. “I did it! Leave him alone! I did it!”

The second blow never got there. All the guards turned towards Nikki.

“You?” one of them said.

“Me.” Nikki grinned back. “You should’ve sent someone to empty the bucket.”

Tommy watched the guards unchain him, but only to drag him to the middle of the room, push him onto his knees and zap him with two shockers at once, one in the chest and one in the hip. About twelve seconds into this Nikki must have blacked out, because he stopped screaming. The guards dragged him back to his mattress and dropped his lifeless body there, the knees of his robe soaked with urine.

“You knew he pissed there,” a guard said then to Tommy. “You knew and didn’t tell us.”

He got zapped too – later he figured out that he got an easier deal with just one shocker, though at the moment it was hard to tell with electricity seemingly disintegrating his body tissues. He was dropped on the floor right where he stood.

“You all knew,” he heard a guard say to the captives through ringing in his ears. “You all knew and said nothing, you spineless sacks of shit. You ain’t getting any dinner today. Give that back!”

It took Tommy some time to come around, and when he crawled back to his mattress, Nikki had only just awakened, his eyes still foggy and unfocused, a thread of saliva hanging from his half-open mouth.

“Man, you look like shit,” Tommy croaked.

Nikki only made an unintelligible groan in response, but Tommy knew he said something along the lines of “you ain’t no better”. Which, fair.

He laid down on his mattress, trying to combat the nausea that always came with electric shock. When one wanted to puke his guts out so badly, getting deprived of dinner didn’t seem half as bad. The captives probably didn’t agree, but none of them dared to express their discontent verbally – for now, at least.

Soon Nikki tried to raise his head and sit up. The guards forgot to chain him back, so he could finally use both his arms. Well, at least something good came out of this whole mess.

“Man,” he heard Nikki’s hoarse voice, “that was hella fun.”

And, despite his body hurting all over and his pants soaked in piss, Tommy could hardly disagree with him. At least now the guards knew they could get back at them – in their own way.

#motley crue #nikki sixx #tommy lee #motley crue fanfiction #tw: piss #piss features heavily in this chapter. its for plot purposes i swear #it basically goes like this: #nikki does some shit #tommy plays along #both get their asses beaten #and nevertheless have a good time #as we were falling #the title is eh. maybe ill change it if i come up with something better #but it will do for now

[oifaaa]

I love that Stinky Bastard Man is an option. I will be laughing my ass off if that wins XXXD

I've already threatened this in the comments of the poll but it's worth repeating if skinky bastard man wins I will take that as a sign that reverse batkids Jason should remain dead or hell he'll come back to Gotham but instantly get hit by that car that also hit him in the comics only this time it will be fatel

#Ask #Ivy-in-the-raine #Still don't know why a poll needs a comment section #Also fun fact #I can edit everyones comments on that thing #Which I don't know why I would #But I kinda want to

[4dorks-1windmage-1shadow]

For the ask game, Vio with 11, 24 and 29?

From this ask game

11. What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

For a guy who doesn't outwardly show his emotions much in canon boy can he pack a lot of feelings into his body and it is my duty as a Vio expert to rip him apart and display his feelings and inner thoughts and wants and fears like one of those full body skin peel backs in old anatomy books. He's a stinky anxious bastard man who deserves to cry and scream and rage and mourn and laugh and I am here to force him to do so. I love him dearly he's my favorite character. 24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

He very much did consider taking over the world with Shadow. Like, the whole shebang with ruling over everything as kings together, that really got to him b/c there are genuinely things that should be improved and if nobody else is going to do it, he might as well, right? But his (admittedly unreliable) moral compass got in the way, and he could never quite stomach the thought of burning it all down the way Shadow wanted to.

29. How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren’t?)

Like Shadow, I don't see Vio as a parent. He's nice to children, because there's no reason not to be and they're still just learning, but the idea of taking care of a whole other human being for the rest of his life (say what you will, parenting is an irreversible, lifetime decision) is not appealing at all. He's the educator uncle - helps you with your homework, negotiates an extra snack on your behalf, will play a board game or puzzle with you occasionally- but definitely not parent material.

#ask game #four swords #violet link #silentrealmchild #thanks for the ask! #i don't often think of vio as a blorbo #but he is my blorbo

[cryptidofthekeys]

Wrestling Sona except this time I actually like it

I really didn’t like the winged guy I made so long ago, don’t get me wrong he was cool to some degree but for an oc, not for a sona, I REALLY love this sona more so than the last one I tried to make bc I just kept thinking about like oh I say all the time I’d be a bastard, an absolute menace, I have bastard energy/vibes

...and I wanted a bastard/menace wrestling sona in the first place rgjkflbvgfcdl I wanted an edgy dude and I have finally achieved my goal so I would like to present to y’all an ACTUAL proper wrestling sona:

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| Real Name: Chase

| Nicknames: Ace/Cryptid

| Gender/Sexuality: Trans FTM (He/Him) and he’s Pansexual

| Ring Name: Cryptid of The Keys

| Finisher/Signature: Signature is literally just him beating the shit out of his opponent with fists and then clotheslining them meanwhile his finisher is The Cryptid’s Lock and Key (it’s a submission move, gotta lock it in then unlock it when the opponent taps idk man, just roll with it fjkdljfgds)

| Classification: Heavyweight

| Age: N/A

| Height: 5’5”

| Species/Race: Human

| Occupation: Wrestler which is obvious of course, but also he’s not really a face nor a heel, he just does whatever the fuck it wants if its fun

| Eye Color: Gunmetal Blue

| Hair Color: Dyed dark purple on top, the sides are Dark Brown (His hair is a spiked quiff)

| Skin Color/Body Type: He’s pale and fat (he’s in the heavyweight class for a reason also I’m fat and my sonas will not have their chub taken away)

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| Appearance: His main attire is a black leather jacket with spikes on the shoulders and down the sleeves, (it’s got the name ‘Cryptid’ spray painted on the back in green, a dark purple tank top with some green splotches (like really big paint splotches) and then his pants are also dark purple with the same splotches of green, he’s got some chains hanging down them and then finally he wears dark purple combat boots with yep, you guessed it- the same splotches (I just love the purple, green, and black color scheme) and green laces. He wears a dark purple spiked collar, keys dangle from his neck as well, he won’t tell what those go to, he only laughs when someone asks. He does say they go to some things though but just not what those things are.

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He wears dark purple gauges with green swirls in them, he loves to wear green horns on top of his head (thinks those are cool, he's a big fan of demons n shit like that) only scars he has top surgery scars, and finally he has a circle beard.

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| Personality: He does whatever he wants, a rebel, an absolute punk who hates authority first and foremost, he will not be told what to do or when to do it, he’ll do it when he feels like it or if he wants to in the first place, a lil shit with a love for chaos, destruction, and mayhem and loves to pull pranks and blame others, a stinky lil crime boy, he can be mean, vicious, and downright cruel …To enemies, no if he likes you, if your on his good side he’ll actually be very nice- it’s literally like this, to his enemies: fuck you! Y’all can suck my dick! To friends: oh hey dude, what’s up? I love y’all (platonically of course) so much!

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He really seems to hate when someone tries to boss him or order him around and in fact that’s the fastest way you’ll earn the title of enemy in his books, he’ll sometimes join in with others if the situation is fun enough for him, whether it be joining the heel in beating the shit out of a face or a face beating the shit out of the heel, he literally could not give less of a shit about faces or heels, he doesn’t need to be one of those! He’s his own man, lives by his own rules, not anybody else’s.

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Has a lot of anxieties, doubts, and insecurities deep down but he usually bottles that up and keeps it to himself (...I want to clarify bc I feel like anyone who sees my sonas might be like oh is that a reflection of himself? I wanna say not EVERYTHING on my sonas will be a direct reflection of myself) he doesn’t wanna be a burden to anyone else and he thinks it’ll make him look weak if he asks for help on anything, it’s why he’s a do it himself kinda guy, he doesn’t want to ask for help because then others will see him as a weak vulnerable target, he has HIGH walls he’s built up, he’s fearful of being seen as weak as he doesn’t wanna get picked on or apart for that matter.

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…To get very deep, he’s almost like a stray dog whose absolutely petrified of letting anyone too close to them so he snaps and lashes out a lot in order to prevent anyone from getting too close for comfort, it's not because he’s truly aggressive …He’s just scared deep down and won’t risk anyone getting too close, despite this though I will say he does cherish his friends very deeply so, you fuck with them your indirectly fucking with him, you hurt them? He’ll absolutely tear you apart, he’s VERY overprotective of the people he cares about, don’t hurt them, don’t you dare-

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…Also he’s 100% an arsonist, like hell I’m 99.9% sure he has set the ring on fire at some point, and that was by SHEER ACCIDENT- He’s set a lotta shit on fire both accidentally and intentionally, has also gotten countless people in trouble with his pranks (loves to see some poor innocent soul get their shit rocked because the other thinks it's something THEY did) despite being a lil fucked up inside, overall he is literally just a lil shithead sometimes.

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| Side Facts: When he’s not wrestling you can find him in his room, chilling and listening to music, writing sometimes but he’ll never let you see what he’s actually writing UNLESS he trusts you well enough and then other times he’s goofing around and playing video games, despite what you may think and even though he’s VERY much a lover of all things horror, movies, games, etc- He actually plays a buncha games like Stardew Valley, Minecraft, and Animal Crossing …Don’t you DARE tell anyone, he’ll bite-

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Oh yeah by the way, he’s a biter, he’ll bite the shit out of you in a match (...I already know what some of y’all are thinking, ‘Chase… Are you taking a bit of inspiration from Moxley…?’ …yeah… ok.. I am… I mean I think the jacket’ll be a dead giveaway but still) He’s an absolute sucker for No DQ matches, Ambulance Matches, Dumpster Matches, Hardcore Matches, and finally he really loves Steel Cage/Hell in a Cell style matches. But his main specialties are the No DQs, Dumpster, and Ambulance matches.

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This lad just literally cannot keep himself out of trouble for five minutes, you blink and he’s suddenly causing all kinds of chaos, he has no self restraint and no manage or anybody to restrain him fjkdljfhgkdsl and even then, he doesn’t listen to anybody but himself usually, so getting him to actually stop his shenanigans? …NEAR impossible but not fully… He’s easy to bribe after all, and I’m not just talking money, literally if you get him some of those kraft cheddar cheese cubes then he’ll calm down and he’s admittedly very easy to keep under control, he’ll snatch the bag from you and literally just start gulping them down.

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…That, I can say without a doubt is an absolute reflection of myself, and another thing- you need to stop him before he eats the whole bag or he fucks up his stomach entirely, bad news if he’s got a match to do… Speaking of, does Cryptid belong to a specific company, am I assigning my wrestler sona to a specific brand, company, etc? …The answer is n o <3 That way I can put him in so many situations and scenarios and be gay with all my favorite fictional lads mwahahaha my evil plan!!!

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…Final thing and this is more so me just complaining bc I love too many songs to choose from for myself- but for the most part, if I never choose a song or music of any kind to go with him- I do know what his lil entrance would be on the titantron thingy- and it’d be a dark forest, moon shown rising above tall pine trees, and then some random shots of keys and there’s some eerie jingling of said keys going on, whether that’s him or uh the titantron, you can decide :)

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Has a literal collection of keys both big and small, keeps them in all sorts of places, mostly in treasure chests, and then he has a collection of crystals that he really adores, he’s an absolute sucker for shiny trinkets of all kinds, keys which is obvious, plushies especially, and finally crystals.

#wrestlesona #wrestling sona #wrestling character #my sona #im not sticking him with any specific brand or company #and thats solely bc i want to imagine him in all kinds of situations and scenarios #hes a feral lil gremlin full of big chaos energy #hes just a silly lil guy- a silly lil man- full of awful tendencies #and he commits atrocities every once in awhile but eh no biggie

[aurelianpen]

I'm relistening to Stellar Firma and I can't believe I forgot Trexal has canonically been forced to wear a giant sock hat during his time as a consultant

#stellar firma #trexel geistman #i love to laugh at this stinky bastard man #rusty quill

[butididnottried]

You’re right, not all men. Stinky bastard man Mogens knows real love and would never give me up, let me down, run around and deseeeEEEEeeert me.

#klaus #jesper #mogens #netflix #i love one stinky bastard man #husband material #makes me laugh

[cherrykamado]

—𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗥𝗬 𝗣𝗜𝗘 ; kenny ackerman.

🍒🍒 FULL TEXT 🍒🍒

“Dirty!”

“Rotten!”

“Filthy!”

“Stinky!”

They called him Dirty Kenny. Always trying to get under some woman’s skirt, with his lewd, toothed smile, misaligned clothes and intimidating personality. Didn’t matter if he was an Ackerman, bearer of the most feared gangs in the world. Nah, chicks don’t give a damn about that.

Don’t you have anything better to do, old man?

You’re disgusting!

But Kenny would just laugh at them, even after receiving their rejection in the form of splashed beer on his face, hat and clothes.

Women, they don’t understand. Old man just wants to have his own fun.

But, hell, no. They’re judgemental. Chicks only have only one thing on their mind these days: young little bastards all ripped that only care whether their hair is well greased and combed.

Nah, those squirts ain’t men, he’d try to convince them. C’mon, babe, don'tcha wanna see what a real man is?

If he at least had money, they’d think about it. But the old broke man had spent everything on alcohol.

“Come on, Kenny, you’re rotting yourself here, all y’do is drink,” the one person who’s grown out to be one of his major confidants said once. “Why don’t you get out of here at once, do something about your life and get a job for a start?”

But his suggestion would just fall on deaf ears; all these years of a hard life —with a sister that died young, leaving an ungrateful squirt behind (which he had to take care of for lots of years while working as a sheriff at the most corrupt police department in the county) that once he’d grown up he left without repaying him— were part of his past, including all hopes of a job.

Old man was too old to be a slave of the system at this point, he just wanted to live his life once and for all. So he’d just spend the remains of Kuchel’s insurance in living his best life. Surely that’s what she’d want, right?

Nothing could jade this old man right now.

Until a particular person came into the bar.

The sound of the opening screeching door makes Kenny dart his gaze towards the source of the sound, where he came across the nicest view a man could witness: an innocent looking young lady, high waisted shorts that stop just below her ass line, a nice, bright colored top, and the most important, cherry red lips.

It’s you.

The man whistles, gaze shamelessly trailing up and down, drinking in every single inch of you.

Of course, you’re no idiot. You know he’s looking. From the corner of your eye, you see his lewd expression. You roll your eyes, scoffing. Of course, men are all the same. Hadn’t you been ditched, you would've never come here in the first place.

“Beer. A bottle, please.” You command, and the old man behind the counter nods, in no time you take the icy cold glass in your fingers. As soon as your lips kiss the liquid, you let out a sigh. The only thing that could save the night, right at the reach of your hand.

“Would’ve never taken a pretty lady like ya for a drinker,” That old man, what a creep.

“Are you saying I can’t drink?” You quirk an eyebrow, judgingly turning to look at the old man with a sneer imprinted on your face.

But all he does is chuckle, “Never said such a thing, babe.”

“Then what were you saying? Didn’t you try to say that just because I’m a woman I can’t drink?” You scoff, “And don’t call me babe.”

The only person I'd let call me that is an asshole, you think to yourself.

His creepy smile only widens. He loved him a nice cherry pie like you, such a sweet surprise. Looked so sweet on the outside, yet on the inside, you were fiery. He liked that.

“So what’s a pretty little thing like you doing in this rat hole?” he asks, lips then kissing the bottle of his now not-so-cold beer.

“You wouldn’t wanna know,” you retort, imitating his actions, “Besides, why do you care?”

“Can’t a man jus’ start a conversation?” He asks, pretending to be offended.

You roll your eyes in annoyance, smacking then your red lips. If you think the old man Kenny missed this, you’re wrong. It has him wanting to lick his lips, wondering how pretty a red print of those cherry red lips would look around his cock.

“Got dumped.” “Don’t really feel like talking about it, though.”

Yet, as the night goes by, and the more beer you drink, you find yourself opening up to this total stranger —Kenny, you learned his name was.

“...And then he never showed up. To be honest I should’ve expected it. Every time I called he was busy or his mum would pick up… So, yeah, should’ve known he didn’t want me.”

“Asshole.” You hear all of the sudden, making you lift up your gaze.

“Excuse me?”

“Said what I said, sweetheart,” He says, “Dumping a woman?” Even worse, a woman like you, “He didn’t have the balls to talk to ya? He’s an asshole.”

Honestly, you don’t know how to respond; all you know is that his statement has you surprised. Taken aback.

“Look, sweetheart,” He continued after two large sips of a new beer, “I’m no smarty or anything, but if there’s something I know is that a real man wouldn’t do that.”

And his statement is so true, that you find yourself squinting your eyes, grip tightening around the brand new cold heineken.

“What would you know?” You scoff at him; You didn't mean to be rude or anything. Broken hearts do that, they make you colder and skeptic.

When silence fills the counter, and all that can be heard is the faint music of Warrant blasting through the speakers of the bar, your gaze trails back to him, your lips purposefully opening slowly and seductively, wrapping themselves around the edge of the bottle of beer.

What does a real man do?

The old man’s lips curve into a smirk and he lets out a chuckle, making you quirk an eyebrow.

“A-Ah! K-Ke-Kenny! M-more!” You beg, as the man you met in the bar pounds into you, abusing your inexperienced cunt.

You dig your nails into his back, as you hear his low grunts against the flesh of your trapezium, the noise of skin snapping against skin fills his ‘78 camaro, rocking the car as it becomes filled by the moans, mewls and cries in pleasure you let out for him.

“So fuckin’ tight, cherry pie,” His breath is hot against your ear.

“Y-yes! S’big, s’big, daddy!” you whine, legs trembling every time his head hits the gummy spot in your cervix.

“C’mon, cherry pie, gimme a kiss,” He says, catching your lips in a sloppy kiss, a mesh of tongue and teeth as his thrusts turn erratic.

With just one touch, he had managed to have you soaking, those fingers that at first went into your weeping hole, curling inside you in the right places. Now, the car keeps on rocking as you ride him like a horse. His cock, way thicker and bigger than you could ever expect, the old man is fucking you into oblivion.

Better than you could have ever expected.

That sweet cherry pie that had caught old man Kenny’s eye looked so good on his dick. How long had it been since he’d ever fucked a cutie like you? You were a sweet cherry pie, delicious and sweet —you could bring a tear to his eye.

Your tits jiggle as you bounce, and his mouth waters at the sight of the perked nipple —to which he ends up attaching his mouth. His tongue runs over it and, lapping at it, he grunts. His cock grows stiffer the more and more your walls clamp around it, and the more and more your cute little noises fill the car.

The car didn’t even have tinted windows so, if people were passing by, it would be undeniable, there was no way to cover up for this.

“F-fuck, daddy, daddy, ‘m so close!” You whimper, your legs can’t help you anymore, and you grow tired; he sees it in the way that you can’t keep on bouncing on him.

“Aw, what’s wrong, babe? ‘S it too much, huh?” He teases, and when you sob, he cackles, telling you that he was only joking.

Without pulling out, he turns you around and your back collides against the seat. You widen your eyes upon hearing the first squelch and arch your back; he was going way deeper this way, better than you could.

“S-so deep! M-more, more!” You claw at his back, your hips jumping to meet his pace and hoping to fuck yourself a bit more against his dick. More, you beg, and Kenny just can’t say no to you.

“C’mon, cherry pie, cream on daddy’s cock,” He wraps your leg around his waist and uses your flesh as a support, digging his nails into the plush of your skin to go deeper. His cock’s stirring more and more, and upon bumping against your cervix again, he can’t hold it much longer either.

“Fuck, gonna make me cum too, cutie, squeezin’ me like that—” He grits his teeth and from now on, the rhythm is insane. Even an old man can grow impatient, so his fingers lower to your clit, flicking it, rubbing it, massaging it.

Oh, god! You scream, throwing your head back, rolling your eyes to the back of your head as tears start spilling from your eyes. No one’s done it like that to you before, he bets, judging from your undone look.

And he’s right.

You start spasming around his shaft and, with him pounding into you some more, your cum starts coating his dick. Such a sweet sensation, being covered by your nectar, makes Kenny growl; he drinks in the moans you let out as he rides your orgasm, going deeper into you.

“C’mon, keep on creamin’, daddy’s gonna take it all from ya.”

‘Til the very last drip.

“P-please… ‘s too much, ‘s too—aah!” The next wave of pleasure hits you; you didn’t believe more cum could come out from you, but here you were. This time, the mere grazing of it, going down your walls and onto his pounding dick makes you more sensitive and, as you clenched around him, Kenny starts cumming into you.

You can feel his cock contracting as he spills his seed into you, and how he gasps. You stay like that for a good while. Kenny doesn’t pull out, however —he likes it better when his dick is inside such a sweet cunt like yours.

“D’ya see the difference, baby?” He asks, panting against your ear, “This is how a real man does it.”

2021 © cherrykamado | all rights reserved | do not repost or recommend on any platform | plagiarism will not be tolerated.

[necros-writing-stuff]

S- Stinky bastard men being forced to accept feelings for sweet, sunshiny PC? With Whitney, Bailey (young au or current, up to you) and Remy (maybe with Bailey's kid)?

I love this dynamic. Tame the bastard man!

Under the cut for length!

Bailey (current PC)

Honestly it's pissing him off how you stay so hopeful and bright despite everything. Is always waiting for the moment you break down and become as jaded as he is.

But you never do. Just keep smiling and laughing.

Until one day he finds you crying to yourself in the garden at night. He thought it would make him happy to see you upset, but instead it's unsettling.

He needs to know what broke you. So he sits, takes out a cigarette, and asks.

You go on this long rant about how you feel a constant pressure to be a source of stability for everyone, and how you're tired and will be fine after you've cried a bit. It's like pressing the re-set button, you'll be fine in the morning.

Bailey can empathise, there. He's taking care of all of you, so the man understands that pressure.

Leaves you to it, and sure enough your back to sunshine the next day. Why does that make him glad now?

After a few more weeks like that, confused and angry at why your smile brightens his day a little, Bailey comes to the horrific realisation that he likes you more than he should.

Tries to stomp those feelings down. Keep them as buried as possible. But you've also started coming into his office every so often and just sat there chatting with him. You view it as a safe space to relax. You view him as a comforting presence.

"Have you eaten?" you ask, and he can't believe that you're starting to take care of him, too. No, he hasn't eaten. Yes he would like a sandwich. He's not saying thank you.

When you crawl into his lap one night, he can't find the heart to stop you. Or when your soft hands start stroking the stubble along his jawline while he fills out stupid bills.

Stays still when you press a gentle kiss to his cheek and thank him for letting you stay before you go off to bed.

You do the same the time after that. Bailey makes no comment about it. As long as no one sees, its fine.

It's an accident, when he kisses you. He's about to ask you something, turning his head as you go to kiss his cheek, and your lips meet. Neither of you pull away.

This is fine. Its nice. You make him feel less stressed. You can keep coming to his office at night and telling your silly stories. Keep him entertained while he works. Keep kissing him good night.

It's more than fine and he knows it. But he won't say it out loud. You don't need him to, anyways. If Bailey didn't care he would have shoved you away long ago.

Remy

The first time he meets you, Remy is endlessly entertained. Bailey made you? That grumpy, sardonic fucker made you? Oh this is amazing.

Flirts a little with you despite Bailey being right there, gets warned to keep his hands to himself.

He backs off, knowing not to go too far, but still waves goodbye when you leave.

You end up coming to him, rather than Remy waiting for the next meeting. Visit his riding school, all eager to learn and happy to accept his praise.

You fall off a horse and jump straight back on, confidence never wavering.

He gives criticism, and you don't falter and take it personally like others might.

When the younger students get hurt, you're the first to comfort them and encourage them to keep going.

You stay afterwards and help clean up. How responsible and helpful.

Curious to know more, Remt invites you into his home one night for some tea. Finds himself enamoured with you, how you talk and giggle with him. There's no fear there. No restraint in your mannerisms. It's cute, a breath of fresh air compared to everyone else.

Keeps inviting you back. Wants to have all of your attention on him in those few hours.

One night you turn him down, saying there's something important you have to do, and Remy feels rather lonely when he sits drinking tea by himself.

Finds his thoughts turning to what it would be like to have you properly. Maybe the ranch could become a family business. You would be a wonderful parent while he worked.

Has to shake himself to clear his mind of those thoughts. Surely he wasn't actually getting attached? You were just a point of interest. A way to get information on Bailey, even.

Thats bullshit, and the farmer knows it.

Will confess eventually. Will make a meal for the two of you instead of just having a drink, and hold your hand as he tells you he'd like to try something.

Then he'll pull you in for a kiss and be delighted when you kiss back.

"My dear, your smile shines brighter than these candles ever could," he'll say as he cups your cheek. Smiles along with you when you giggle at his compliment.

He'll have to keep you safe, from now on. Keep that sweetness from fading.

Whitney

You're so fucking annoying. When Whitney pushes you into a locker, or burns you with a cigarette, you just keep smiling at him and acting like he told you you look nice.

Cry! Beg! Something other than pure fluff would be nice.

And you're starting to bother him at the fountain. Buying him a scarf to make sure he's not cold, asking him if he's okay because he looks sad.

Leave him alone, he doesn't need to be coddled.

But you never give up. Keep coming back even when he throws you into the fountain. Keep asking if he needs cheering up.

One day you don't show up. He's even sticks around an extra half an hour, and there's no sign of you. At school the next day he hunts you down, drags you into an empty classroom and demands to know where you were.

"I'm sorry, I had to work a little extra. I thought you found me annoying, anyways?" your head cocks to the side as you say that, and he feels like pulling your hair out of pettiness.

You're right though. He should find you annoying. But he doesn't anymore. He likes when you fuss over him. Like feeling like he matters.

He'll storm off after telling you it doesn't matter, he doesn't care, he hates you.

But he still feels his heart beat a little harder the next time it rains. Practically runs to the park. Pretends to not notice you approach.

Says nothing when you slide under the umbrella and wrap an arm around his.

"Can I kiss you?"

His head snaps to look at you, all blushing and nervous. And he practically crushes you when he pulls you in for a full on make-out session.

"You're mine now, got it?" he'll say when he pulls back, and you look so cute smiling up at him like that, lips a little swollen.

Yeah this is okay. He'll still have to bully you to make sure everyone knows he's not going soft though. Can't have that.

#degrees of lewdity #degrees of lewdity whitney #degrees of lewdity bailey #degrees of lewdity remy #younger au

[mohluskiepedard]

Rating ATLA Characters literally only from what I’ve seen in fandom

or: posts that probably shouldn’t be on my writeblr except I don’t have a sideblog

the context here is it’s half midnight and I have never seen ATLA except I have opinions now apparently so here we go whoop de do- 

I’m also not actually rating them like numerically that’s too much work i’m just stating opinions I know I’m a fraud

AANG

- A child?  - A son?  - he is Baby. but also. he has had It Rough  - would make the updog joke - has unspeakable power or smth and everyone says he’s better than the Korra girl who comes after him but honestly tastes like sexism to me - doesn’t kill people because he’s like twelve, right? he’s like twelve so he refuses to kill people - I stan honestly - less twelve year olds should kill people - Some people say his name WRONG and they are BAD but i don’t actually know what the right way or the wrong way is so. have fun w that yall - lived in peace unTIL THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED 

KATARA

- She is also like twelve???  - Is everyone here twelve - Cortana?? Katana?? Catbug??  - She has good hair, - Her mother is dead??? her mother is dead n she has a brother but she cares about her mother being dead WAY more than him (or apparently the entire fandom??) - Badass - She seems soft. good. sweet - she’s a water breather or whatever??? her brother is NOT but he is a meme - I love her 

SOKKA

- NGL looks like a fuckboy  - The meme brother! does not do the water things, but he has an aXe???  - dates BAMF lady - ngl until I talked to my ATLA watching friend I thought he canonically dated Zuko  - kinda mad he doesn’t - I haven’t actually seen anything about him except like. in zuko ship posts and also Suki appreciation posts - joined the white lotus not-a-cult by accident???  - dark ATLA tumblr show me more Sokka posts - is his name prounounced the same way as Soccer or isn’t it I need to know - HIS FIRST GIRLFRIEND TURNED INTO THE MOON - (AND THAT’S ROUGH, BUDDY) - He and Suki are a good ship, but also, Sokka Has Two Hands

SUKI

- the BAMF herself - she says STOP in that photo but also to sexism - Rlly all I see of her in fanon is abt her teaching Sokka to drink his respect women juice and I appreciate her doing that but also it’s sad she never gets talked about outside of what she did for a man - I hope she has other badass moments w/o him it would suck if she didn’t - she is NOT the girlfriend who turned into the moon, she is the one who didn’t - I don’t know much else about her ATLA Fandom y’all should appreciate her more

ZUKO

- Look at him... my son... - He has a good redemption arc - he and his sister are evil lesbian and redeemed gay guy??? - has a straight canon ship but should’ve been with Sokka this boy is gay - I Want To Protect Him - That’s literally it - he has a cool uncle and his dad sucks  - people ship him with Katara and I Do Not Get It that’s his sister in law except not really - “We don’t trust Zuko’s change of heart” [the next day] “so Zuko is my closest friend now,”  - His dad was like “fuck up the avatar to prove your worth to me” and Aang was like “counter argument you already have worth and we should fuck up your dad” and I think that’s beautiful - he becomes the fire man and he’s very good at it - Zuko for President 2020 - in the words of myself, half an hour ago: “ I was like "that kid with the burn on his face seems like a sad but then happy mlm who needs found family" and I was RIGHT” - took too long to find a happy picture of him :( Zuko rights NOW please - His mother’s story got compared to an OC of mine and all I can say is oh no and they deserve better based on that alone - I have had Zuko for five minutes but if anything else happens to him I will kill everyone in this throne room and then myself

TOPH

- She is badass but like also will murder you while laughing maniacally? - for some reason reminds me of Nott from Critical Role, another show I Have Not Seen - Is blind but gets more out of making jokes abt being blind than she would from being able to see - “Sight is just a cheap tactic to make weak benders stronger!!!” - Literally the opposite of Aang and has killed many people?? - She Can Tell When You’re Lying. But I do not know how and Am simply mildly threatened by this - Therapist: Toph’s ability to know if you’re lying isn’t real and can’t hurt you. Toph’s ability to know if I’m lying:  - She and Zuko.... buddies???  - if not they should be - tiny sad boy needs friends like toph

AZULA

- Evil Lesbian Culture - [BDG Voice] You committed a war crime! Oopsie! - took be gay do crime too literally - her and Zuko have accurate sibling writin except instead of “you ever want to murder your sibling for breathing in the same space as you,” being a Joke Azula took it seriously - okay but with a name like azula she should be the blue bender this ANNOYS me she should NOT be red bender - AZULa  - AZUL - IT MEANS BLUE - She was half of y’alls gay awakenings and it SHOWS - Should have maybe been redeemed too??? Jury is out no one knows - Was she gay for Ty Lee or wasn’t she I can’t tell how much of that Audio is a joke - IS SHE ALSO TWELVE??? IS EVERYONE HERE TWELVE?? IS THIS TWELVE YEAR OLD COMITTING ATROCITIES? 

UNCLE IROH

- A Good Man - Finally, Some Good Fucking [Adult Figures]  - he has the tea. literally and figuratively - Ozai is like “and I will permanently disfigure my son and throw him out” and Iroh is like “What The Fuck, Ozai,” thus voicing the entire audience’s thoughts - Literally the only adult in this that I trust - I? I love him. this is all I have to say. my love for him is unending. Some1 protect this man from all harm   - he’s Zuko’s uncle (and also Azula ig) but he does not seem related to Ozai. is it just a theme in this family that one sibling is chill and one sibling commits horrendous atrocities against your fellow human beings or  - something happened to his son???? :((((( I Don’t Want Him To Have Suffered Like This

OZAI

- A BAD MAN - Uh Oh (stinky)  - THE WORST OF THE MEN  - I do not like him - Bastard man. nasty. committed war crimes and then went “but what if - get this - i also abused my son,”  - I would like him to Not Be Like This - by Like This I mean present and alive  - :/ 

TY LEE

- She’s NOT the There Is No War In Ba Sing Se lady and I don’t know why i thought she WAS but until I looked up her photo I thought that was her  - She looks like a sweetheart tho - I hope nothing bad happens to her????  - talks about auras??? or smth??? let her vibe - She would talk animatedly to me about warrior cats if she was in my year seven class and I was sat alone and I would understand none of it but appreciate her anyway - if azula bullies her I’ll be :( at Azula and Azula will not care because she has Mommy Issues and therefore is slightly unhinged - She seems like that one kid with no trauma vibing at the edge of [every other kid having trauma] and not really getting it but trying her best - Is she also twelve?????? She maybe looks twelve

CABBAGE MAN 

- HIS CABBAGES - fulfills my favourite trope: ordinary person repeatedly has life disrupted by the inconveniences of relying on actual children to save the world - probably has a campaign post canon for letting trained adults fix the worlds’ problems in the future - or sets up the Very First Cabbage Insurance Company - look at him. he loves his cabbages so much. you go you funky lil cabbage man

ALSO THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES MOMO

- LOOK AT HIM HE’S SO GOOD - small. fluffy. big ears - Lord Momo of the Momo Dynasty: his Momoness - a Good Boy...

APPA

- he looks so soft... - he can fly but he just does it by??? vibing through the air?? motionless??? iconic - I saw that one post about mishearing it as Abba and thinking he was Aang’s dad and he looks like he would be a good stand in dad ngl - he’s so LORGE - a chonky boy - love him

that is everyone I have heard of it and if I left someone out it’s a sign that y’all should talk about em more bc I have no clue they exist put more ATLA On my Dash ig I’ll do Legend of Korra ig maybe apparently that one has canon wlw and i love me some canon wlw

#ATLA #avatar the last airbender #Avatar #Aang #Zuko #Katara #Sokka #Iroh #Ozai #Azula #Ty Lee #Momo #Appa #Toph #Suki #I hope Suki has an arc outside of Teaches Boy To Be Good Person By Being Badass #if she does yall should talk abt it more #Not Writing #I finished this at 1:30 am can you tell #here u go ali heres the post #abuse ment #war ment

[elizabeethan]

The Swan and her Handler

Emma Swan was cursed, and the only way to break it is with True Love's Kiss. Try breaking a curse with True Love's Kiss when you're a damn swan.

Yes, it's true, I've written a CS AU based on Walnut the Crane, a crane who fell in love with her handler. I'm ashamed at how idiotic this is. It’s by far the dumbest thing I've ever written in all my life. It’s nothing more than crack written in about an hour, un-betaed and barely edited. Sorry, and you’re welcome.

Rated T for language

~2000 words

Read my other stuff

Read on Ao3

These damn idiots can’t get anything right. It was bad enough when Emma showed up on their doorstep with perfectly clear care instructions that were completely ignored, but now they keep trying to get her to reproduce as if she’s some kind of zoo animal. 

  Of course, given her current living situation, it does make at least a tiny bit of sense. 

  Ever since the curse, Emma has been stuck in a wildlife refuge and has been unable to get any of her stupid caretakers to figure out how to help her. She knows exactly what she needs, but unfortunately, no one here speaks swan and she can’t exactly hold a pen. Her care instructions were translated upon her transformation, so the one thing that could have helped her now looks like chicken-- er, swan scratch. 

  “She needs a mate,” one of the jack asses points out. “She’ll probably want to mate for life.”

  True, she thinks, although, not with any of the stinky fluff balls you have sent my way.  

  First it was Neal. He tried to mate with her, so she killed him. Last week, they put Walsh in her enclosure, and she pecked at him violently until they took pity on him and sent him to the medical unit. 

  Although today seems different, because her newest caretaker has shown up, and she realizes that he just might be exactly what she’s been looking for. 

Emma Swan, unfortunately very appropriately named, requires a mate who can break her curse, True Loves Kiss the only thing that can bring her back to her truest form as a human adult woman. And when the new dark haired, stunning eyed veterinarian comes strutting into her enclosure, she hurries towards him to get a closer look at his name tag. 

  He jumps away, making some comment about her being fiery , and she blushes, squawking at him as she tries to get closer. Killian , it reads, and if she had lips and not a bill, she would smile. 

  “We think she’s depressed,” the stupid one with the big eyes says. “She’s killed every mate we’ve tried to pair her with.” 

  Good, she thinks. I must have done more damage on Walsh than I initially thought.  

  “You’re just misunderstood, aren’t you, love?” the angel-man asks, making her squawk in agreement. She thinks she could make this quick, this man obviously understanding her horrible twist of fate, so she lunges for him once more, trying hard to kiss his hand and hoping beyond hope that it will transform her back into the woman she's supposed to be. No more feathers, she prays. 

  He exclaims again, jumping and complaining of his hand hurting as she pecks him, so she rolls her eyes and squawks angrily. “Alright, darling,” he says with his hands up, his smooth, accented voice making her heart flutter inside her chest. Her breast? She knows very little about swan anatomy, despite having been turned into one. “Perhaps she’s stressed about her environment. Have you tried giving her a dark, quiet place to nest?” 

  “Not yet,” the dumbass admits. 

  The handsome one, Killian, a name she could get used to rolling off of her tongue, steps away from her, so she hurriedly follows. “Perhaps here in this corner will do.” 

  I would love to spend time in a dark corner with you, she thinks, giving the man what she hopes is a salacious smirk. She watches appreciatively as he sits down, crossing his legs as he starts to fiddle with some sticks as if she would be interested in them. Rather than helping him to make a nest out of the twigs and leaves, she plops herself right in his lap, nestling herself into his crossed legs and gazing up at his beautiful features, earning a smile from him. 

  “There we are, love,” he says happily, clearly surprised that she chose to plant herself upon him, although he shouldn't be. Just look at him, for god’s sake. “Comfortable?” 

  She squawks loudly, making him cringe, then fluffs her feathers in an attempt to gussy herself up for him. If she’s going to earn True Love’s Kiss from this perfect specimen, she’s going to have to work for it. The man chuckles as he looks down at her-- is he gazing? -- and lifts his hand slowly, placing a finger gently upon the top of her head and petting back down her neck, sending a chill down her spine, at least she thinks it’s her spine. She pushes her head towards him again, demanding more attention in an effort to get him to fall for her. It shouldn’t take long; she’s very enchanting. 

  “She’s never been this calm,” the dumb one says, making her snap her head towards him with a glare, shouting at him in disapproval. Killian shushes her soothingly, his finger softly stroking along her stupid feathers once more and making her shut her eyes. 

  “She just needed a bit of attention, it seems.” 

  “We’d best be careful,” someone else says, the bookworm who always thinks she knows everything about swan science. Of course, she probably knows more than Swan Emma. “We wouldn’t want her to imprint on you ,” she seems to joke. 

  “That’s quite alright, isn’t it love?” he asks her, essentially giving her permission to fall in love with this handsome bastard. 

  He comes by a few times a week for the next several months, each time sitting with her in her tiny, dirty nest and not seeming to care that his pants get soiled. She’s always careful to do her business elsewhere, making sure that her prince can sit in comfort when he arrives. She gets angry with him when he brings someone new, a sickly looking male named Graham who she assures is not welcome, so Killian gives up trying to get her to mate with someone. For some reason, they're concerned about her procreating, but she can assure everyone that she will not be giving birth to a damn swan baby while she’s under this curse. 

  One day, when Killian visits near the end of his shift, he’s finally alone, leaving behind the dumb one and the book worm and giving her all of the attention she desires as his strong hand softly pets along her soft feathers. She can’t wait to get rid of these stupid feathers. 

  “You’re quite funny,” he remarks as the sun starts to set. “Unlike any swan I’ve ever met.”

  She squawks at him-- I’m not a damn swan-- and he smiles. “Quire the personality. It always seems like you’re trying to communicate with me.” 

  Yes, you stupid handsome man, that’s exactly right! She tries to nod, lifting and dropping her head in quick succession and making the beauty laugh. She nudges her head against his hand in demand of more pets. 

  “What is it you want me to know, darling?” he asks gently, his voice soft and soothing and deep. 

  She groans, a sound that comes out like a pained cry, and his face shifts. “Are you alright, love?” 

  In pure frustration, Emma drops her head against the man’s chest, likely assaulting him with how badly she smells like bird shit, and he chuckles again, letting his hand run along her feathers some more. “There, there. I know life as a swan must be difficult. All you seem to want is for someone to listen.” 

  She looks up, hoping that her expression conveys her complete and utter irritation at the fact that he’s literally hitting the nail on the head and yet he has no idea. 

  “Such a personality,” he says again. “I’ve got to head home now, love. I’m looking forward to having Chinese for dinner. Perhaps I'll bring you an eggroll tomorrow, or is that insensitive?” 

  She squawks, half because she’s laughing, and half because she would quite literally kill another potential mate for an eggroll. Wanting to beg him not to go, she gives him her best sad face through her inability to emote, and nestles her head against his palm one more time. 

  “I’ll sneak you one, love,” he laughs, and as he does, he finally, finally , leans down towards her, and plants his stupid, dumb, lucious lips upon the top of her stinky bird head. 

  Cramps start to run through her whole stupid bird body, the same ones she felt when she was cursed on Halloween decades ago. He stands, not seeming to notice her pain and discomfort until he’s a few steps away, and he turns back around. “Swan, are you alright?” he asks, as if she could answer, and she shouts back at him wordlessly. 

  She praises whatever gods might be listening as she feels things start to change, her feathers shedding as her skin is exposed to the chilly fall air. The webbing between her toes retracts, her legs turning flesh colored rather than that horrifying orange. Her bill turns back into her nose and mouth, preparing her to smooch her savior rather than peck at him. Finally, she’s back!

  “Bloody fucking hell,” Killian breathes as he stares on, Emma transforming back into her old self, laying in a heap on the ground as she brushes off the dirt and twigs and leaves. 

  “You did it,” she praises before clearing her throat, raw from misuse after all these years. She grins at him as she’s been wanting to since they met, and is met with a horrified, shocked look on his face. His jaw is gaping, his eyes wide as they catch the light of the setting sun. “I knew you would.” 

  “What the fuck?” 

  “You broke the curse,” she says happily, standing up and exposing her nude form to him, cursing the lack of feathers although she vowed she never would. Immediately, he removes his jacket, despite his shock still clearly running through him, and hands it to her. 

  “I did what now?”

  “I was cursed. Why do you think I was such a miserable swan?” 

  He’s looking around, his mouth snapping shut and dropping open in succession as he tries to process the fact that there was a swan in the enclosure just a second ago, and now there’s a frankly beautiful, naked woman standing before him. “You were cursed,” he says doubtfully. 

  “Yes, I was. An evil witch cursed me on Halloween decades ago and I've been stuck in that infernal bird form ever since. All I needed was True Love’s Kiss to break it, but imaging trying to fall in love with someone as a damn bird.” 

  “So you… you fell in love… with me…?” 

  “Obviously,” she smiles, taking a step towards him on shaky legs, tripping and falling into his waiting arms as he catches her, careful not to grope her, although she isn’t sure she would mind. “And you broke the curse, so… Do I have to tell you what that means?”

  “I-- I’m having a lot of trouble processing the fact that I've evidently been in love with a swan for months.” 

  “Well, my name is Emma Swan, so you can be in love with a Swan for the rest of your life, if you’d like.” 

  “Emma,” he murmurs, staring into her eyes and smiling when he seems to recognize her. She’s never been able to see herself in the mirror, because the book worm was worried she would attack it, but based on the way he’s staring, she would guess that the evil witch let her keep her eyes. “Do you know it just happens to be Halloween tonight?”

  “Kismet,” she says softly, gazing up at him. He lifts his hand like he did while she was planted in his lap, and she’s finally able to feel his calloused finger along the skin of her cheek, then of her neck, just as he had done before. 

  “Aye,” he agrees. “The spirit of the holiday does make this whole thing a bit easier to accept.” 

  “Yeah,” she says dismissively. “Now take me home. I was promised an eggroll and I haven't eaten anything but grass and stale bread in almost thirty years.”

~~~~

Tagging (with apologies):

@courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @swampmedusa @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy @love-with-you-i-have-everything @shireness-says @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @ouatpost @daxx04 @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay @xsajx @itsfridaysomewhere @alexa-fangirl-forever @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @qualitycoffeethings @rapunzelsghosts @spaceconveyor @badcats-andmice @batana54 @sailtoafarawayland @deckerstarblanche @zaharadessert @xarandomdreamx @pirateprincessofpizza @captainswan21 @hookedmom @lostintheskyfaraway @undercaffinatednightmare @strangestarlighttree

#Captain Swan #Captain swan fanfic #cs fanfic #the swan and her handler #cs ff #the swan ff #cs crack #crack fic