#i mean it isnt horribly bad now either but i can kind of tell they dont really. get along | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

notzawzark · 1 year

Text

GHOST (mw2) X MALE READER (platonic)

NOT ROMANCE, uh, reader kinda already had a backstory, so kinda bordering on oc, but things like his hight/skincolor/appearance in general is kept blank.

its kinda dogshit looking back on it, so dont expect it to be like.. good, in any sense of the word, its riddled with plot holes and like. writting inconsistency. and also the writting as a whole is just.. mid

TW/CW's: torture, implications towards past abuse, maybe other stuff, but you get the gist, if you your not for any of this, dont read, keep yourself safe

“so..” I break the silence that had once held the room hostage. “you're ghost.” I didn't expect him to actually get captured, let alone get captured alive. Looking through all the intel we have on him, by all means we shouldn’t have been able to get him alive.

I doubt doing this will prove fruitfull.

Were both sat In an “interrogation” room. Only recently was it promoted as such. It used to be more of a “torture and kill” room. Its empty for the most part, only a metal table, two old wood chairs sitting across from each other, and a few pieces of paper with a pencil on my side of the table.

A door behind me, no windows, walls made of some bleak concrete. There are two guards outside the room blocking the door. Not for me. For him. Hes tied up, the boss was never one to take chances. Neither would I with the record and reputation this man has racked up.

“you probably know why you’re here..” I look around “ in this… room.” He doesn’t budge. The mask makes this infinitely harder. “you should probably get comfortable.. I don’t see you leaving anytime soon.” I sigh. I don’t see him leaving ever. Hell probably get killed before he ever gets that luxury.

“ill be completely honest with you. My.. boss, along with all my associates think that what im doing is pointless. They all want to tear into that skin of yours.” I put my feet onto the table. Taking a deep breath in trying to figure out how to word my next sentence.

“I don’t think any of that will work.” Its blunt, but its true. “I think” I pick up the pencil on the table and start tapping it absentmindedly. “that no amount of pain, or threatening of your life, or humiliation will make you to tell them what they want to hear.” I look him dead in the eyes, trying to gage how he reacts. “I think that shit just brews spite.”

Nothing. Honestly its kind of uncomfortable. Staring into his unblinking eyes. They always kinda look glazed over, and red, like he doesn’t sleep much. “I hope you can help me prove them wrong. Because once im done here today theyre going to start torturing you.” I look away. The eye contact is to uncomfortable. “so, whats your real name, ghost?” he doesn’t respond. “what is it.. jack? Is it.. jason?” (I wrote this at 2 am, and thought that jason was ghosts brothers kid, im pretty sure that isnt right, but ignore it, his name is jason now) theres something in his eyes when I say the name jason, but I don’t think its his name. maybe someone he knows. Or knew. “ill be honest im trying to think of british sounding names, and I cant find any.” I crack a joke. Obviously, he doesnt respond.

I sigh. This is going to take awhile. I suggest a few more names. Jason was the only thing that he reacted at. A small reaction however. It could have just been my mind playing tricks. “what about your family?” hopefully this gives me more. “what was your mom like?” nothing. “your dad?” an eye dart. There. That. That is what I needed. I hum, its low, its clearly satisfied. He picks up on it. “your dad, was he a good man,”

Shit. Nothing. Hes either correcting himself now because He knows what im doing. That im trying to get a stir out of him. Or I was mistaken about his reaction. I continue. “was he a bad man?” nothing. Im going to kill myself. “my dad was a bad man.” He shows a hint of confusion. I assume he wasn’t expecting me to talk about myself. “I mean he wasn’t a horrible man from what Ive heard. But he left me and my mom.” I get up from my spot on my chair, and hop up, sitting on the edge of the table to his right. I can see his face better now.

“and a good person doesn’t leave their family, now do they?”

He shifts his focus over to my new spot. He wants to talk. I don’t know what he wants to say, but I can feel his eagerness in the air. “from what I hear you have a dead brother.” Surprise, then anger, then sadness. He looks away. Off to his left. That makes things harder. “how old are you?” he looks to the table as he asks me a question. He seems genuinely curious. “well your definitely British, Jesus.” I remark on his accent. He looks up at me, unamused with my observation.

“im 20.” He doesn’t buy it at all. “19” he seems even less convinced. “17” his eyes narrow. “fine, 16..” I mumble looking at the ground. I don’t see his reaction, but it doesn’t matter. “what is someone your age doing workin’ for a group like this?” I side eye him. “and what is someone of your status doing getting caught by a group like this?” he grunts and goes back to looking to his left.

I sigh, I probably shouldn’t have retorted with that. I might just have sent myself back to square one. “what do you do with your free time, mr. ghost?” he doesn’t respond yet again. I definitely sent myself back to square one. I get off of the table, back into my seat across from him, “have you ever had any pets?” I look up at him, to see his reaction.

It’s a very telling reaction. Hes uncomfortable. “yes? No?” nothing. I look back down, grabbing a piece of paper, and the pencil, I start drawing him. He doesn’t know that though, or at least I assume he doesn’t. I might be a bit more obvious then I want to be. “whats your favorite animal?” I look up again. Hes uncomfortable, less then before, but that’s probably just him regulating it. “mine are snakes.”

He closes his eyes. Ive definitely found something. Theres a moment of silence. “I like the big yellow ones.” He opens his eyes. “I also like the folklore and stories behind snakes.” Hes disengaged. Fuck.

I back down. “who is your favorite artist.” Safer. “music, painting, writing it doesn’t matter.” I focus on my drawing. Im not looking to get a reaction. ”don’t have one.” He answers. “why not?” a genuine question. “don’t have time to have one.”

“well I mean, you cant be working all the time, you get a few weeks off after each mission right?”

“no.”

I hum a response. High pitched. Acknowledging what he said. I begin to get more focused on my drawing, talking less and less. Eventually were both sitting in silence, the only noise in the room being my pencil scratching against the paper.

“you like art?” he nods to the drawings in front of me.

“it passes the time.”

He doesn’t say anything after that. An hour passes by. Im done. Well. As done as ill ever be. I stand up, pushing my chair back. Eyes fixated on my art. Analyzing it to no end. I pick it up, and place it infront of ghost, while I stand close beside him.

“your eyes are expressive.” It sounds creepier then I meant it to. He looks down at it. He really looks at it. Not just a glance over. taking a few minutes. for a bit I think hes fallen asleep until he speaks. “impressive.”

That’s all he has to say? He looks at a drawing for three minutes in silence, and all he has to say is one word? ‘impressive????’ that’s it????? This guy is gonna make me shoot myself. “thank you.” I try my best to make it sound earnest. A very difficult task.

I sit back down at my chair. Hes still looking at the art. “theyre probably gonna come soon.” He looks confused at first, but then it clicks. Hes gonna meet those associates i mentioned earlier. “but if you give me as much as a hint of what they want to hear, I can probably stop him.” Ghost doesn’t respond. Quiet as always. I sigh and lean back in my chair. He looks down to the drawing again. “you ever been drawn before?” I ask

“negative.”

What freak talks like that? Negative??? I get hes in the military but Jesus fucking christ. “you can keep it if you get out of here alive.” I laugh at my own joke under my breath.

“hold onto it. I don’t want it getting bloody.” He looks up from the drawing. Completely deadpan. I cant tell wether hes joking or not.

The door behind me opens, I get up off my chair. “heyyy.” I greet the man at the door from my spot. Hes big. Big big. Probably 6’7-6’8. Sturdy build. Hes always been scary, but I guess that’s a part of the magic. He rolls in a cart im unpleasantly familiar with. It has an assortment of metal tools. For all sorts of different things.

“(reader).”he acknowledges me. his voice always finding a way to unsettle me. He walks past me, dragging his cart of goodies with him. He stops. Grabbing onto ghosts chair, the wood making a shrill sound as he trudges it to the back wall. He takes his cart with him. Ghosts breathing has gone rapid. Mine probably would too. Scratch that. Mine definitely would too.

I grab my drawing off the table. I don’t want to be in here. I start to leave. “(reader), leaving so soon?” the big man turns around, some horrible device already in his hands. Im quiet. I have to watch what I say around him. “yeah.” I search for the right words. “you know I don’t like loud sounds.” Its true, I don’t. theres a tenseness in the room. Like a twig bending before it finally snaps.

He turns his normal sick expression into a hallow smile. “how forgetful of me.” He turns back to ghost. Whose eyes are darting around the room. Probably looking for a way out. He closes them shut tightly, and I find that my queue to leave. I quickly walk through the door, past the guards, and out into the hallway.

That night wasn’t a very restful one. the concrete walls might as well have been made of paper.

boom, you made it to the end, wow thats rad, heres an emoji : 🤯

ALSO if i do continue this, ghost and reader are prob gonna have like a father/son or older/younger brother bond. but yeah. uh i hoped you liked the fanfic.

#ghost mw2 #simon riley #call of duty mw2 #call of duty modern warfare #simon riley x reader #x reader #male reader #platonic reader #mw2 fanfic #fanfic #reader fanfiction

232 notes · View notes

glitterfartsprinkle · 3 months

Note

please please tell us more about your off ocs im eating them up everytime i see them on my dash i do a little happy dance they are such intresting critters i will study them under a microscope

HUH. OH MY GOSH. OH OH OKAY UH. socks is angry now, at the director. i mean who isnt but i mean she tolerated hik but now she wants to kill him so bad. she now knows what happened to cheese due to eglu admitting what had happened/what he had seen (the horrors) and shes planning on killing him somehow (it doesnt end well for her, still developing that), eglu is. existing, hes better, just still very very sweaty and nervous always (we love hgim for that) but hes more comftorable and happy because pf his lovely director/husband. so yes theyre still very in love because i saud so, i might be retiring smir bnecause of the fact i just dont really, like his character anymore, to be honest pbj kind of replaced him? on the topic of pbj hes much more beastly/strange, he got burnt and it isnt pretty!! CHEESE (S A SPECTER. i posted his desgin earlier but he is sentient and non violent. he feeds on corpses though and watches eglu and socks, socks mostly dreams about him and ends up throwing up when she wakes up. dorris is doing bad. like, actually horrible. charlies inferno by that handsome devil horrible! she hates her position and hates what she does, she hates talking to dedan to report "insufficiant work" people actually taking breaks because theyre TIRED. dorris is going insane and rants to pablo because she thinks he cant speak or understand her (he does, obviously) and feeds him cow meat when shes able. edith is on her last straw of sanity, thats all i can say about her, but her and dorris are very in love so ill probably post about that more later, thats all i have to talk ab with them..

JK I HAVE MORE ABOUT EGLU. he is in the directors office 100% more of the time, he either goes there or he's called, he reports, he talks, or he sleeps. in his hands. because its silly! and eglu feels lioke hes walking on glass with only socks to protect his feet. ill report more later teehee!!

#glitterfartsprinkle #elsen oc #off mortis ghost #off elsen #elsen off #off the game #enoch #off game

10 notes · View notes

eminsunnytoons123 · 29 days

Text

Since i have now made Camilla, afghan hound And baskerville hound's redesigns, I Said that i'll now post my headcanons for the muppets! =^///^=

And for the sake of enjoyment And creativity, i'll risk it for all my besties/Brothers And Sisters/pen pals And for some more muppet fans =^_^=

And also im still thinking about more headcanons for them, just give me time to think ^///^; And i'll post the part two either tommorow or later! =^v^=

Lets start!

Kermit the frog:

• he is 22 years old in my AU, but he acts very mature for his age

• he is pansexual And polyamourous, he is dating miss piggy And fozzie

• he likes little jingle Bells, so thats why he has some on his Boots

• Uses prounouns he/him, but some muppets call Kermit an "it", mostly Constantine

• his parents AND over 3000 siblings have been seen in some episodes, but some of his siblings dont have lines

• he plays his banjo on the top of the boarding home And sings the rainbow connection song

• he still has his iconic And polite personalities, but he sometimes gets annoyed when some insults him, but not always

• he sometimes accidentaly calls Clifford a "she", but Clifford actually doesnt mind nor does he care about any prounouns that the muppets call him

Fozzie bear:

• he is 24 years old in my AU, but he still acts goofy And silly like always

• he is queer, pansexual And polyamourous, And he is dating Kermit And miss piggy

• he doesnt only use Rubber chickens, he even uses any circus-related stuff

• he uses his water flower to spray others as a prank, oh! And he LOVES april fools Day

• he secretly likes hello Kitty and any silly cartoons, And he has an hello Kitty pin on his hat

• his jokes can SOMETIMES be funny, but theyre most of the time horrible And bad, And others always groan, roll their eyes And get annoyed by fozzie

• he likes anything thats colorful And that has rainbow colors in it

Miss Piggy:

• she is 23 years old, but he acts just the same And mature like on the muppets

• she is bisexual And polyamourous, And she is dating Kermit And fozzie

• she LOVES the 70s, 80s And even 90s women Fashion, especially if they have Pink shaded colors in it

• she has her pet Foo-Foo the dog, but she even has Gloria estefan as her pet

• she likes any bracelets And necklaces that have pearls on them, but even any kind of Crystals on them

• she is french-british in the Group, but she mostly says "moi" like always And speaks some french words in her sentences

• she practices karate, And she always tests it on one of the muppets in the boarding home, except for the children/kids

Gonzo the great:

• he is 22 years old in my AU

• he is pansexual And non-binary, And they is dating Camilla the chicken

• gonzo uses any prounouns, but most of the muppets call him by "he/him/his" but gaffer the pirate Cat calls him an "it" And by "they/them"

• they likes doing their nails, he has his nails colored in a non binary colors flag

• he even does acrobatic tricks, not only anything thats dangerous, even sometimes Circus tricks

• gonzo has an tail, with an blue fluff on the end of it, just like how Clifford now has an tail

• he isnt only interested in girl chickens, but sometimes roosters (not in an zoophilic way.)

Rowlf the dog:

• he is 29 years old in my AU

• he is bisexual, And he is dating selena the brunette haired whatnot, who is a straight Lady but she supports rowlf being bisexual

• he sometimes gives Texas vibes to other muppets

• baskerville And Afghan hounds are his most close friends in the boarding home, but he gets annoyed by baskerville And his singing

• he is pretty much interested in any classical music that have piano music in it, like Mozart

• rowlf can sometimes be pretty sarcastic in the Group, like for example when someone tells him something exciting, he says: "okay, And?" And he Chuckles, but doesnt mean it in a rude way

Pepe the King prawn:

• he is 21 years old in my AU

• he is pansexual, genderfluid and polyamourous, And he is dating Rizzo And yolanda

• he has an childhood toy named topo sticky, even tho topo sticky COULD sometimes talk in the muppets, on TMS:LITBH he doesnt talk nor move. And Pepe sometimes gets embarassed when some of the muppets see him with his childhood toy topo sticky

• his actual name is Pepino Rodrigo Serrano Gonzales, because he had two mamas And one Papa (IN MY AU.), but some of the muppets found it hard to remember his real name, so Pepe just told them to call him "Pepe". But some of the muppets call him by his real name, like Mildred huxetetter And some other pretty much older And mature muppets in the boarding home

• he likes doing ballet, but not wearing male clothes for the ballet, only female clothes for the ballets like what ballerinas wear

• he sometimes does his acts with Seymour, but not only that, he even hangs out with him

• Pepe has an short wavy red hair unlike an spiky hair

Rizzo the rat:

• he is 21 years old in my AU

• he is bisexual And polyamourous, he is dating Pepe And yolanda

• he has an colorful hair with neon rainbow colors, but his actual hair color is either Dark Brown or blonde

• they has an patch on his tail because he Got Hurt when he was Younger, he was probably bitten by a cat And he even Got stitches because that Cat nearly ate off his tail, but only the top of it

• he is even a demiboy, And he uses he/they prounouns

• he infact does have hair in here, And before in the muppets his hair was NEVER shown

• he sometimes Chuckles And laughs at pepe's ballet, but he still loves him

Yolanda the rat:

• she is 21 years old in my AU

• she is bisexual And polyamourous, And she is dating Rizzo And pepe

• she has an puffy And more longer blonde-yellow hair unlike in her original version

• she is an perfectionist for makeup And Fashion, just like miss piggy

• she had an EX-boyfriend named William the rat, but then he wasnt Hanging out with her And he secretly had another girlfriend And he was clearly cheating on yolanda. It is pretty Unknown what happend to him, but here is an picture of William on yolanda's door of her room And it has an knife on it. And in the first episode of TMS:LITBH, she told Pepe And Rizzo this (read the scenario):

Pepe: "I dont know if deadly's asleep, okay?"

Rizzo: "how do you not know if deadly's asleep!?"

Pepe: "I dunno."

Yolanda: "you two are stupider than my EX boyfriend."

Rizzo: "wait! You have an EX?"

Yolanda: "well... I had him, I had that idiot named William. Now he is in his grave."

• so yolanda probably either joked about that William's in his grave, or she either really killed him, And its based on this comic I made on second of november 2023

• she loves colorful bracelets, And she has three of them on her tail, And one on her wrist

• she likes baking muffins, cookies And small cakes

• she likes doing hairstyles, makeup, putting dresses on and any iconic And fashionable clothes, And she likes reading magazines And being with Rizzo And pepe

• she is british-american

Dr bunsen honeydew:

• he is 27 years old in my AU

• he is pansexual, And he is dating beaker

• he likes any weird And strange science And Experiments, just like the ones he makes

• bunsen actually does have eyes, And he sometimes Opens them but as if he is squinting his eyes

• he always wears safety glasses whenever he is doing one of his Experiments

• bunsen sometimes tests his new Experiments on beaker, but beaker doesnt get hurt or anything

Beaker:

• he is 28 years old in my AU

• he is bisexual And he is dating dr bunsen honeydew

• he sometimes gets nervous And scared when bunsen wants to try his Experiments on beaker, but he doesnt get Hurt nor does anything bad happen to him

• he sometimes even says: "beep!" Or "boop!" And sometimes even "hello!" And "bye-bye!"

• he likes gently petting small Animals, like kittens, bunnies, parrots... Etc

• he doesnt now wear an Scientist suit on TMS:LITBH

Thats now all my headcanons for the first two parts! I'll make the other parts tommorow =^_^=

#my arts #traditional art #the muppets #the muppets show: life in the boarding home #kermit the frog #miss piggy #fozzie bear #gonzo the great #rowlf the dog #pepe the king prawn #rizzo the rat #yolanda the rat #dr bunsen honeydew #beaker muppets #TMS:LITBH headcanons and stuff

5 notes · View notes

nerves-nebula · 1 year

Note

Same thing happened to me. Different circumstances, but yeah it is super painful. My mom didn't tell me what I period was until I got it for the first time, and I wasn't even with her. I was at my grandmother's house and had to learn what they were from her, my mom only explained it to me after.

She also hasn't taught me hygiene either. I know the basics of course, the really obvious ones that are easy to do. Anything else? Hell if I know. I don't even know how to properly wash my hair, I have dandruff constantly. She complains about it, but she sure as hell isn't gonna teach me how.

Anyways, I wanted to write this to tell you that you aren't alone. This shit is incredibly common, for whatever reason. It sucks, but my advice is to just try. Focus on the now, and just try your best. Tacky advice, I know, but Focusing on the now will get you to the future. And that way you can prepare yourself for it, and actually know how to do it.

(You don't have to answer this ask, I just wanted to send some words of encouragement :D)

thank you, it feels really nice when people offer their stories unprompted like this <3

my mom taught us the basics too, by which I mean she TOLD them to us and barely ever enforced them. I've gotten better at showering regularly (probably still less than most people though) but I cant fuckin STAND brushing my teeth. it makes my mouth feel sooo gross and i never got into the habit of it so it's still difficult.

I used to have HORRIBLE dandruff too, and it itched so bad that I would scab my head all over scratching at it. turns out I have seborrheic dermatitis (diagnosed via tumblr user saying I might have it, and then a nurse confirming it lmao) and now I use a medical anti-dandruff shampoo from like. walgreens or something! I think its called selsun blue or something, so idk maybe that'll help?

ALSO FUCKING. I HAVE SO MANY ISSUES WITH HAIR. so im mixed and my mom has straight hair cause shes very white. so i am FUCKED cause god knows she wont learn to do black hair. but my hair isnt as tightly curled as my other siblings either, so im kind of just left floundering cause idk what kind of hair i even HAVE so how do i figure out how to take care of it??? all i know is that shampoo goes before conditioner ;O;

ANYWAY yeah you're advice here is actually pretty solid. unfortunately the truth is that when it comes to hygiene, you just have to try to do it consistently.

one thing that helps me take showers (and this is advice i got from ppl with ADHD, which i might also have idk) is to either set a timer or just don't. think.

if i think too much I'll never take a shower cuz i'll be thinking about how hard it is and how long it will take.

but if I think "i should shower" and just ride that thought out then I can collect all my things (towel, bodywash, etc) and go to the shower before I have the chance to change my mind.

my hygiene is still probably "gross" to most people but I've improved a lot so i'm proud of myself.

sorry for the ramble hah, I appreciate the encouragement <3

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts #neglect #child neglect #unhygienic

19 notes · View notes

scentedchildnacho · 5 months

Text

Lila Kills In Sight speaks about WoLakota

youtube

I guess to me the former conversation is too ungenerous they try to talk on the topic and won't even share language differences with the audience......so

He just said people treat him so poorly because he had beliefs in mouth to mouth recessitation and Angelic and this chick a bit to in need was kept to ill....

It probably would occur to me that people were to mean to the guys so he confessed that if it's women he is too needy and uncompassionate

Well when people file as white that they require segregative quarantines then use people's bodies kind of paranormally they know need to be confronted about being more germed then they realize.....

Germ spies....i know i dont have at risk behaviours i know i prefer buddhism to cleanse ritualistically though.....

I did tell community dinner that white light is to dig an easy hole.....and its alien and abortive...nystagmus and multiple sclerosis diagnoses...ya know such awful piercing white light your sure the sac your brain is in and your nerve fibers supported by was immediately fried..

I dont know alienating aliens

Tong helps cognitively relax

The police are arriving in the morning so that's hopeful

It's not that homelessness is wrong or a bad way to live it's that the people doing it right now are such horrible awful people for it addicts masochistic addicts I'm sorry but your a crude awful man go to your slum and get wasted away from people that want to survive more extremely

I mean I stayed in Alaska awhile and comparatively the men there also had problems but God their so disgusting here I mean how can a man be that dependent awful and unwilling to stop harassing people with his fixation on parasiting on feminines

So it's more the hub for serial killers and felons that are always stalking for cops to care for them that is the problem homelessness otherwise isn't really a huge tragedy it's just what life is sometimes

Uhm pacific beach isnt a climate emergency and if I won't go die of a housing disease in the cold then jackos

We could come into migration freedoms that reduce dependence on artificial climate control...

Jackos

Not a climate emergency and the people act like eve ill rodents

Uhm I mean the their really awful for homeless theatre has obvious cause and effects....rapid expansion of housing creates people who need housing like doctors.....and doctors would call me a cannibalistic object and now I have all these unconscionable people as ready to defile themselves as nasty nasty stick em vaccine surgeons

Things balance upper classes have really no conscience so forces they try to be with dont

Paraffin hygienes...

I really didn't like the women I saw homeless for it either.....their always unable to network with a car to store things to help them be safer in their experience....

So their finally gone I hope with domestic abuse services because of how creepy and wrong poor drunks are to them but my guess is they had to just go somewhere else on the street for male dependency to kill them of it's cannibalized need

So cops are finally arriving in the morning because creepy males don't stop fixating on my food and killing me of having to share my things with people who need rehab

Ive been watching Dior on hong Bo.....everything is Brahman so who is tong pho or tong VA who does tong work for.....

#Youtube

0 notes

familyagrestefanblog · 3 years

Text

Analysis of the Family Agreste Portrait

Quarantine strikes again and since the Agreste family portrait has fascinated me for a loooong while now I decided to put my thoughts into words and write another essay x3

The amount of informations we get out if it is amazing and its not only highlighting the absolute TRAGEDY it is that this family is about to face such a horrible fall out, it also hints at the former family dynamic before everything went to hell.

So make yourself comfortable and get something to drink, because we will be here for a while.

Here we go: My analysis of this beauty of a fictional portrait

Let's start with the most obvious one: Hawkmoth.

Its commen knowledge by now that the background makes it seem like Hawkmoth is standing behind the Agreste family like a bad omen waiting for fate to take its course and cause their doom. The portrait is brilliantly designed so the illusion is created that Gabriels body (here in a blue suit closer to Hawkmoths normals dark purple one) overlaps with Hawkmoths and a darker line is connecting the two faces as well, which rest on the same height right beside each other. The very same line grows bigger as it goes further behind Emilie - coloring her entire background - showing us that EMILIE is all Gabriel sees when he becomes Hawkmoth. But notice that Adrien on the other hand can hardly be concidered part of Gabriels “sight” at all.

Its forshadowing 101 and damn beautiful if I may say so. But this isnt what I want to focus on in this post.

I want to elaborate on two other key factors that tell us about the former dynamic of the Agrestes instead and what they tell us about the present and future.

The heart:

This is hitting me on another level because look at the heart these three form with Adrien right in the middle! He was so LOVED. This family may have never been anywhere close to ideal but still, there was LOVE and now he's gonna loose it all.

Adrien already lost his mother which led to his father getting even more distant and cold and now his father is becoming increasingly more abusive as he falls deeper and deeper into villainy. Gabriel was never a good father, the show has already made this clear with episodes like "the bubbler", “the collector” or "Gigantitan" for example but gosh there was hope for their little family! The end scene in "Jackady" portrayed it perfectly and I wrote a whole other post just covering the sigificants of Adriens and Gabriels hug in that episode. Check it out here if you want, it goes hand in hand with this one.

Miraculous is all about love and the completely different ways it can affect us, our behavior and actions. Because love isnt just wonderful, pure and empowering, it also can be twisted, destructive and cause the darkst nightmares. And with this family the writers know how to portray the complex love in an abusive houshold thats destined to go up in flames and they also know how to hint at their troubled past with the family portrait.

But this heart visual tells us even more in connection with the positions of their hands. And with these two key factors, lets start with Gabriel:

His hands convey it so strongly. He loves/d Emilie and Adrien so much and no doubt this love for them was certainly the reason why he started his quest as Hawkmoth. But he is now losing himself more and more in the pleasure of his villainy to the point where he forgets why he's doing it in the first place and becomes a complete monster (of a father). But this turn and spiraling into villainy didn't came out of nowhere - this root already had to be in him to grow like that. And this is also something the portrait indeed hints at as well.

Because Gabriel is the only one of the three who:

1. We see so completely open and without hesitation reach out and hold BOTH his family members.

2. Is visually “cut off” from them as well.

But this doesn't mean he was excluded and the only one who truly cared and loved, it just shows that things were more... complicated...as usual.

This is best explained with Adriens hand placements:

One hand is holding his mothers but the other one is visibly not reaching out for his father. But as we all know, that's not because Adrien doesn't love him. In season 1-3 it is made more than clear that Adrien does not hate his father - he loves him alot and tries to be there for him and be patient because he knows that the loss of his mother brought his father terribly down.

Sure, Adrien gets frustrated and angry with him, literally how could he not?? But Adrien tries his best to reach out to Gabriel so they can bond and come out of this tragedy stronger.

But this loving willingness to forgive his father for the chance of growing a father-son bond with him doesn't change the fact that these two didn't had a bond prior to this. And let's be honest here, does anybody actually think this distance between them was caused by Adrien? I don't think so.

So notice how Adriens hand - not reaching out for his fathers - is the only one in the portrait NOT inside or forming the heart.

When the connection of the hands between the family members symbolise their connection to another, then Adrien keeping the hand for his father away from the display of love is VERY telling. It tells us very directly what this distance did to Adriens side of the relationship. Despite Gabriels hand being right there, Adrien does not meet the gesture. And I cannot believe that he did it out of resentment, nothing in the show indicated such strong negative emotions from past Adrien.

It's much more likely that Adrien not reaching for his fathers hand is meant to show us that Adrien felt that he either CAN'T return the gesture because he fears that it'll end in an unpleasant reaction from Gabriel - that it isn't Adriens "place" to reach out to his busy and distant father like that, like it's demanding something - or Adrien simply didn't took Gabriel laying his hand on his shoulder, in the context of posing for a portrait, as a gesture of love and affection.

The way I interpret the portrait is that prior to Emilies dissappearence Adrien did not exactly try to reach out to his father the same way he did from s1-s3, which, I mean, of course wasn't the case. Not only is it NOT the 13 years olds (or younger) job to form an emotional connection to their absent parent - when that’s the PARENTS job - it also wouldn't be necessarily "needed" for Adrien to do so.

Because Emilie at this point was still in the picture so and she was the complete opposite. She was a (or maybe the ONLY) safe, reliable and loving constant of parental attention, affection and care in his life and because of these two HARSH contrasts Adrien learned from very early on to focus mostly completely on her in that regard while kinda blocking his father out.

That most likely wasn't even an active choice whatsoever - Gabriel proofed to be an unreliable resource so Adrien learned to subconciously treat him that way out of self protection. That doesn't mean he had any kind of dislike or malice against his father it just means that he wasn't able or allowed to connect with Gabriel the way he needed. Several episodes show that Gabriel deadass only parented like 15 minutes tops in his life with one of the worst offenders kinda being “Gigantitan” ngl.

So yeah, when I see that the portrait wants to tell me that prior to Emilies loss, Adrien - a 12-13 year old at most - is THIS used to rely solely on the strong bond he has with his mother and not even really reaching out for his fathers love, then I can't help but interpret it in the way that... Well... Gabriel was so distant and emotionally unreliable to Adrien for all his life, that Gabriel simply... wasn't needed by his son. Not at that point of time at least.

And while this may seem weird, because obviously Adrien only now starts to stop craving for his fathers affection and approval (which is btw a horrible, HORRIBLE thing and not something good. A half orphan losing the last remaining hope he had left of having the chance to finally get to form a bond with the only other parent he has left, just to be crushed by disappointment and abandonment all over again until he let's go, is REALLY NOT as much of a good thing people will make it out to be. This is... plain awful) it's actually quite logical.

Adriens hand outside the heart doesn't mean that his father meant nothing to him and therefore refuses to meet and accept his affection (that's literally the complete opposite of what the show shows us), it means that Adriens and Gabriels father-son relationship suffers from a fatal emotional disconnection caused by miscommunication/ a lack of communication.

And this was caused by Gabriel. How? Let me elaborate on that by going a bit far afield (cuz lbh we all have time for this. I’m writing this in quarantine and youre reading this is quarantine, so lets gooooooooooooo).

In "The bubbler" Adrien says that his father "always forgot his birthday", but I cannot agree with this in true honesty. Gabriel is controlling his sons entire life, calls him "the epitome of perfection" and temporarily truly gave up being Hawkmoth for him, he definitely never forgot Adriens birthday.

"The bubbler" even SHOWS us that Adriens perspective of the situation is actually not the truth:

This is Adriens first birthday after Emilies dissappearence and it's incredibly telling how Gabriel handles the planning.

What this entire little sequence tells me is that Gabriel is completely and UTTERLY used to NOT be the one to take care of anything related to Adriens birthday. So Emilie was always the one who did it but somehow - now without her - Gabriel apparently still hasn't even considered changing anything about that nasty non-involvement and just expected Natalie to pick everything up where Emilie left it.

Because let's be real here, knowing Natalie she would NOT have forgotten to get a present if Gabriel truly had told her to. Natalie is never presented to do mistakes like that but Gabriel on the other hand IS definitely presented to us claiming things about himself as ultimate, blameless and true when they simply do not reflect reality. A great example: Gorizilla

You didn’t even speared a minutes of your time for Adrien and he DID try to! Asshat… It's a problem guys. The lack of self awareness Gabriel displays in moments like this is legitimately concerning when you think about how deeply this man is falling right now.

But back to the topic:

Because even if Gabriel didn't even consider doing anything himself for Adriens birthday - not even taking the time to SEE his son (who just recently lost his mother, come on Gabe, really?) - one thing one cannot hold against him: he sure as hell remembered Adriens birthday like any decent parent would and it wasnt portrayed as a this-year-for-the-first-time thing.

And yet Adriens statement still makes complete sense. Because a big, BIG problem with Gabriel is just how much he takes things for granted. He EXPECTS things to be universally known and to never be doubted, just because that's how HE sees them. I will write 10 essays if it's needed to make people understand that Gabriel DOES truly love Adrien, it's just that Gabriel HIMSELF is such a rotten, twisted and toxic person that he cannot see how much his (oppressing) behavior and the way he (doesn't) express his love hurts Adrien and that HE is the one at fault. (for more, once again, read this)

Gabriel LOVES Adrien but he takes the love he feels as such a matter-of-fact that he just completely... forgets to show it.

And when we take Adriens words and look at the Family portrait it unfortunately seems that...

…. Gabriel ALWAYS forgot to show it.

Adriens hand - that should at least be reaching out to his father - is outside of the heart in accepting certainty. Because that's what Gabriels non-presence was for Adrien while growing up: an unreliable and unreachable certainty he had to accept early on as safer to not try to emotionally depend on too much or else he will get hurt.

So yeah, Adrien is the one in the portrait who is very openly not reaching out but only because Gabriel never gave him the needed affection and stability to be able to create that bond.

But let me correct what I said a little earlier: Adrien ALWAYS needed his father. Every kid, especially one in a bad situation like Adrien, does need their parents/friends etc as support system to become independent and confident in a healthy way. And if they don’t have that they WILL crave and look for it!

What Adrien has been doing up to now IS normal for a teenager - humans NEED affection, belonging and safety. What ISNT/SHOULDN’T be normal is Adriens disconnection towards his father in the portrait and just how much Gabriel fails to take care and BE THERE for his son in BOTH TIMES!

Collector:

Bother Christmas:

One thing I like about the show is that it portrays their young main cast with one very important truth: The psyche of a child/teenager of their age will react and adapt so it SURVIVES, even if it results in unfortunate consequences in other relationships and places. Thats the psyches main concern and it'll try to cope with the limited experience and development it has in whatever way necessary to get itself to the next day. A coping mechanism is not there to make you a better person, it ensures your SURVIVAL, everything else is a secondary concern.

So seeing pre-show Adrien not react to Gabriels touch and even feel completely unloved and disconnected from him is no surprise to me. Kids are incredibly observant. They may lack the needed experience and knowledge to truly understand that they deserve better and to stand up for themselves but they are masters in picking up red flags in people and can put this danger into perspective while comparing the different danger levels of their options of people and places to adjust their behavior.

Feast:

Stormy Weather 2:

So the broken connection between father and son we see in the portrait (that Gabriel doesn't even notice but Adrien fully internalized) isn’t there because Adrien “didnt needed” or wanted his father, its because Adrien NEEDED Gabriel so much in his isolated upbringing but Gabriel didn’t LET him need him - so Adrien had to adjust to that accordingly. Big, huge, ENORMOUS difference.

Honestly the most miraculous thing about Miraculous is that Adrien was able to bring up the strength to stay positive and friendly and to forgive Gabriel in hope for a better future. That boys situation is 7 kinds of depressing and traumatizing...

It's just flabbergasting to me how well this portrait shows how basically non-existent their relationship was at that point. And it's horrible to know that this estranged and unformed bond is all Adrien had left after Emilie dissappeared, just alot worse because after Emilie incident Adrien states that his father changed alot for the worse as well.

So to think that all Adrien had left wasn't even this former basically non-existent relationship with his aloof father - who would only barely show his true affection for his son because he's either not around enough to do so or he thinks it "unnecessary to proof his affection" for/to Adrien because he already thinks it so obvious and undoubtable.

Well he thought wrong. And GOSH, it breaks my heart!

So now comparing the "Gabriel" hand from Adrien with the one representing his connections with his mother conveys a pretty harsh contrast.

Because last but not least, let's take a look at Emilies hand placements:

But here is now an interesting difference to Adrien. Whereas we openly see that Adriens side of the Adrien-Gabriel relationship is completely disconnected from the heart/love - showcasing just how badly Adrien has always been neglected by his father - we don't see Emilies hand in her Emilie-Gabriel relationship AT ALL.

Once again just like with Adrien, this doesn't mean she didn't love her husband and that Gabriel was used and fooled by the woman he so utterly adored. It just means that from Emilies point of view things were a bit more complicated. What exactly this is, the portrait is keeping secret from us. We have no way of knowing if and how Emilie is returning her husbands gesture. All we can say is that if she does she is definitely not doing it in such an open and unconflicted way as she does with Adrien.

But since when has anything with this family been this easy?

One thing the portrait makes very clear, Adrien and Emilie had a strong and good bond. Definitely the healthiest because the Adrien-Emilie connection is the only one depicted without any kind of disruption from both sides. Both mother and son are reaching out for the other ones hand creating a whole half of the heart, showcasing their affection for another openly and without any of the implied doubts the other connections display. And honestly? Comparing all the hand placements, the one connecting Adrien and Emilie just comes across as strikingly pure and true (which makes it even worse that it was HER Adrien lost…)

As I said it's a HARSH contrast to the one Adrien shears with Gabriel. This contrast is highlighted even further by the way these three face on another.

Emilie and Adrien are positioned facing another and so are Emilie and Gabriel. Telling us that Emilie was "face-to-face" aka involved with both her husband and son. It is Adrien and Gabriel were this looks wildly different. These two have no way of seeing each other in the eyes the way they stand now/then, further displaying their deeply rooted disconnection. It's portrays perfectly how important Emilie was in this family dynamic, because even though Adrien and Gabriel bearly had a connection at all they at least had Emilie as a link between them, keeping the family together. But then they lost her and where this left both father and son off we know oh too well...

So to collect all the informations we get out if this portrait:

-Adriens and Emilies relationship was the strongest and purest. Both of their hands connect and reach out for another in the heart, showcasing that they had a loving and positive bond.

-Adriens and Gabriels relationship is heavily scarred by a deeply rooted disconnection leaving Adrien feeling unloved and unwanted by his father to the point where Adriens side of their dynamic is outside the heart altogether. Gabriel may love and adore his son just like he loves his wife and never thought he displayed his love for him in a lacking way, but fact is: this love never reached Adrien the way it should have and Adrien is the one in their dynamic who got severely hurt and damaged by it.

-Gabriel was the only one completely unconflicted and happily at peace with the former Family situation. He's reaching out to both his family members with open love and affection in blissful oblivion that neither his wife nor son could return them the same way (to different degrees for different reasons). Gabriel was the ONLY ONE in the Agreste family who didn't saw problems in their lives and thought them all happy, hence why he's so obsessed with changing the past and bringing THIS state of their family back. He was happy and he had everything he needed and loved right with him, of course he wants THIS back. He's not aware that Emilie and ESPECIALLY Adrien did not feel the same about their former situation and that bringing all of them back to this is not the perfect happy ending for their entire family as he thinks.

-Emilie may not have been as unconflicted with Gabriel as he was with her but she is NOT feeling the same disconnection her son feels and isn't depicted with negative feelings towards Gabriel. Her side in the Emilie-Gabriel relationship is neither shown outright positive as with her son or outright bad as Adrien with Gabriel. Her side of their bond is depicted through her unseen hand placement in the unknown area in between.

-Despite their not so unconflicted feelings towards Gabriel - and Gabriel himself being aloof - neither Emilie nor Adrien are actively trying to cut Gabriel out. They aren't flinching away from his touch or exclude him from the heart whatsoever. He's happily included, obviously feeling loved. They may not be 100% happy and Gabriel doesn't notice it, but they aren't denying him his happiness and make him unhappy. Again, he's the only one truly happy here. Something neither Emilie nor Adrien tried to take away from him.

-Emilie and Adrien are facing each other as do Emilie and Gabriel, implying the presence of communication and a bond. Adrien and Gabriel do not face each other, showing their disconnected bond. If they could see each others face Adrien would have been able to see that Gabriels hand is a gesture of genuine affection and Gabriel could see that Adriens expression does not exactly display pure happiness the way he thinks. This also goes for Emilie. Emilie just like her husband is placed BEHIND her son, so even if she is facing him she would not be able to really see just how much Adrien is not satisfied and truly happy with his life at that point (meaning how unhappy being looked up, friendless and at distance with his father actually makes him).

- This fascinating family makes me sad and I like it lol

734 notes · View notes

nikethestatue · 2 years

Note

No, Elain did treat Feyre abysmally horribly all her life, lets not forget it. Shes written as a kind person but what was so kind when she let Feyre go out into the woods at 14, and then not even helping Feyre when she came back with game. If Elain was kind, shouldn’t she have told Feyre that she would prep the meat? That she would clean the meat. But no, instead Elain actually flinches away from dirty smelly Feyre, she cant stand to touch her when dirty but she sure as hell will take her food huh? (Early pages of Acotar if you dont believe this)

And what about when both her and Nesta bought themselves matching bracelets—with feyres money— and then didn’t buy her one? Thats Elain being a mean girl to Feyre. It doesn’t just fall on Nesta.

Or what about when Nesta tells Feyre such horrible words and what does Sweet Elain do? Runs after her to console Nesta when she should be consoling her baby sister that was just verbally abused.

Elains actions towards Feyre may not have been as loud as Nestas actions were, but Elain was just as horrible to Feyre. Buying her some paints-with feyres money- and baking her a cake doesn’t negate her behavior towards her little sister—that she hasnt even apologized for, but only once acknowledged it. And then you cant even say that shes apologized through her actions bc she hasnt even done anything either to show Feyre how sorry she is (no “letting” her use the house doesn’t count considering she even has the house because of Feyre, in all accounts the house is Feyres by right), shes nice right now to her because Feyre has the money and Feyres the one protecting her now because Nesta no longer isnt.

If you’re gonna claim everyone in Feyres life has treated her abysmally dont end it off with “except Elain” own up to your fav having treated her sister horribly too. Dont forget Elain too knew the pregnancy secret and didn’t say anything to Feyre either. Own up to Elain having made her mistakes.

My post was specifically about the pregnancy. There is no indication anywhere that Elain knew about the danger to Feyre or the winged baby. She wasn't present during any of those discussions, she didnt talk to Nesta, so Nesta didn't tell her, and I doubt that Cassian and Azriel ran to tell her. I certainly don't see Rhys sharing that info with her--for what purpose? and I think he knew that she'd turn around and tell Feyre. She doesn't really take orders from him, unlike the rest of them.

So there is no evidence that she knew about the baby.

As for ACOTAR, yes, no one is denying that the sisters were caricatures in ACOTAR. Caricatures of badness and stupidity--the evil sister and the weak sister. In Feyre's own words, she thought of Elain as good and decent and kind. So I personally have a hard time with ACOTAR and how the sisters were written, and it was clear that SJM didn't think that she'd write more about them, so they were throw-away characters. Their development began in ACOMAF. I am sorry, I cannot judge the sisters by ACOTAR. Neither can I entirely judge Tamlin by ACOTAR, or Rhys. All of these characters got flashed out starting in ACOMAF and now we know how it all progressed.

27 notes · View notes

theladysexpistol · 4 years

Note

Can i get some La Squadra headcannons with a fem reader (it can be either platonic or romantic) who is like an anime mom ? You know... the hair, the kind smile, the delicious food, their motherly personality, the fact that they would probably die because of a horrible disease or death ?

I laughed way more than I should’ve when I read this. I’ve always said I’ve wanted an anime where the horrible death came at the end but that we got to see the parents date (before the father inevitably left/disappeared and she had to die for their kids)

So I’m gonna make this romantic and I’m saying someone is gonna realize she’s an anime mom in the pre-mom phase

~~~

Risotto

- Risotto is absolutely the kind of guy who’s heart would be stolen by a gentle, kind woman who would be an anime mom with the side ponytail

- It’s a tragic love story. “He’s a dangerous man, you shouldnt love him!” “I love him anyway! Maybe I can change him!”

- She succeeds and Risotto really does consider stepping down from Passione. Settling down with a family even though he has killed so many people and feels as though he doesn’t deserve it... I’m getting big FMA Elric brother vibes heres

- Unlike Van Hohenheim (???) though, when the anime mom dies Risotto goes on a righteous fury slaughter to kill whoever’s fault it is.

Chances of being the father of an anime protagonist: moderate, i can’t see him wanting to have children but she might convince him

Formaggio

- Formaggio has read his manga he knows an anime mom when he sees one

- Unfortunately for him he kinda falls in love with her. I mean, she’s so gosh darn nice how could you blame him. It’s literally the story of a tough guy softening up for the gentle, sweet woman who comes into his life

- Does everything he can for her. He probably tries to install a good sense of self-preservation in her now. He will try to stop fate from taking her but only fools think they can truly stop the death of an anime mom with a side ponytail

- Chances of being the father of an anime protagonist: pretty high because hes stupid enough to have kids with the woman even with his foresight

Illuso

- Illuso is an asshole and as much as i love him it fills me with rage to think of him getting a lady as nice and loving as an anime mom

- He’s probably mean to her but in that slightly-nicer-than-everyone-else-gets way

- He makes a lot of comments about the style she wears her hair and mimics it sometimes by pulling his ponytails to the side

- Chances of being the father of an anime protagonist: Pretty high because hes both 1) ignorant to the fate of the woman and 2) tell me illuso isnt a horny bastard

Prosciutto

- Okay 100% I believe Prosciutto wants a housewife. He wants to be THAT gangster

- So anime mom is lowkey his type

- He’s the tough love sort, doesn’t say it a lot but his actions are very clear. He and Pesci both adore this woman and will do anything for her

- Pesci is the one who realizes she’s an anime mom and worriedly tells Prosciutto but by then it’s too late there’s nothing he can do

- Chances of being the father of an anime protagonist: High, he’s way far into his happy gangster family life when he realizes it. she almost certainly dies because of something gang related which makes his anime protagonist child hate him for being in the mafia

Melone

- Also could see anime mom being a type Melone’s into, but i also cant imagine there’s not many people out there who arent Melone’s type

- He also notices she is an anime mom like Formaggio, but is less freaked out by it. instead he’s quite interested and wants to see the theory through

- Of course he does love her and doesn’t want her to die so he’ll do what he can but he’s quite aware that the universe may just... not make that possible

- Chances of being the father of an anime protagonist: Very high, he wants to see the theory through so he isn’t afraid of having children with her. Also get a breeding sort of thing from him with his stand so I think Melone just wants kids period

Ghiaccio

- A gentle, sweet woman is exactly the kind of person Ghiaccio needs. and lots of patience

- He falls head over heels in love with this woman, and will do anything for her. unfortunately the poor guy has no idea of the anime mom curse

- so when she dies a horrible death he probably does not take it well

- Chances of being the father of an anime protagonist: Low, I don’t see Ghiaccio as ever wanting children and he’d be kind of a bad dad, i think

#bree writes #jojo headcanons #la squadra x reader #risotto x reader #formaggio x reader #illuso x reader #prosciutto x reader #melone x reader #ghiaccio x reader #anime mom #lol i laughed way too much through this #request 💖#i went full crack with this im not sorry

309 notes · View notes

strawberrybabydog · 3 years

Note

hello fellow puppy ^_^ i couldn't find anyone else who is a dog that wasn't a kin so can i ask how do i know if i'm just a furry, have a strong kin or if i'm delusional? i am a dog and i 100% believe i am + i have psychotic disorders but calling myself kin feels very wrong

hey!!! im not a professional obvs so im just gna talk abt my own experience and take what u will from it ig!! i hope this helps u

also i may not be otherkin but i consider myself closer to the alterhuman community than to other communities and i have extensive knowledge of otherkin and alterhuman related topics as well as things from other communities im not a part of but are... related!

anyways, disclaimers aside. its important first to define exactly what these things you mentioned are before i talk about how i came to be a dog.

furries are characters, plain and simple. just anthropomorphic OCs. furries (people behind the characters) only cosplay really, and although their characters can be part of their identity, they do not consider themselves their fursonas. I dont really know what "strong kin" means because when it comes to otherkinity, its kind of like that potato joke: "everything in the entire universe either is or isnt a potato." you cant be a little bit of a potato or half of a potato, you either are or arent. Otherkinity is the same. By definition and similar experiences, I am actually a therian. I just have an uncommon cause, and prefer to use individual labels for myself. I call myself a human-bodied dog, because my caninity comes before my humanity. I call myself a lycanthrope to reclaim and repurpose an old therian term, to now mean "alterhuman or nonhuman person whose cause or root is delusional."

I replied to a post just last night asking me "whats the difference between a delusional alterhuman vs. a nondelusional alterhuman? how do you know the difference?" and in short, i said: the same way you know youre not delusional.

the long answer is a lot longer and more personal but this is how i know: Ive experienced delusions my entire life. theyve changed as ive gotten older, but ive always been delusional. around when i was 16, i had a friend whistle to get his dog's attention, but i also snapped my neck to look at him right away and he commented on how much i looked like a dog when that happened. after that he wanted to explore pet regression with me because i struggle with *ge r*gression as a symptom of trauma, and we figured it wouldnt hurt to try to train my brain into something less harmful. my brain took this and ran. my brain thought, "all of this dog stuff comes too naturally. i think i am a dog." and over the years the delusion has just gotten stronger and now is involuntary and simply, i am puppie. a bit unrelated but we also know its a delusion because my partner often remarks that even the way i look around i look like a dog, or other subtle traits. my brain also thinks i have a dog body as evideny by my horrible spacial awareness and balance. its a symptom of my brain fully, subconsciously, involuntarily believing i am not a human.

anyone who struggles with delusions know that theyre a slippery slope. to my brain, if someone says something with enough authority, my brain cant tell the difference between it and reality, and involuntarily accepts it as truth. such us the case with my caninity. basically i was technically imprinted.

also like, ive always said this but its up to the individual and their therapist (permit they have one, if not please use your best judgement! also read up on clinical lycanthropy and other delusional misidentification syndromes) whether to indulge in delusions and accept them as part of your identity or not. if you know this could get really bad really fast, or its already harmful to you/others, its best to deny the feelings. for me this isnt the case & im perfectly safe to accept the delusion.

sorry for the crazy long post. also i have super disorganized thoughts and speech sometimes (also psychosis! thanks psychosis ♡) so hopefully this all makes sense, but if you have more questions or need clarification, ask box is always open!

play nice, pup! ☆

#psychosis #delusions #lycan #asks #anonymous

37 notes · View notes

dukeofonions · 3 years

Text

Season Two Episode Ranking

Warning: I get very, very, very, critical in this ranking. Like, angry ranting that’s almost laughable. Should I be getting this worked up over an online series? Eh, probably not. But this is my life and I’ll get outrageously angry over whatever media I want.

Seriously though, this is all just my personal opinion. I’m not saying you have to agree with me and if you like the episodes that I don’t then that’s perfectly fine.

I tend to overthink things a lot and I spend most of my time analyzing every little details of this series because what else am I supposed to do at work?

So yeah, this ranking is definitely less positive than the one I did for the first season. But I hope y’all can still have some fun going over it! And if anyone does their own rankings be sure to tag me because I’d love to see them and see how mine compare!

Anyways, enough of me acting like this is more important than it is, on with the ranking!

I can’t believe season two only has 12 episodes. Now I went ahead and counted Moving On as one episode in this ranking since my opinions on both parts are pretty similar, but sweet cheese and fish this season started on September 1st, 2017 with Fitting in and right now is left on Putting Others First which came out on May 1st, 2020. And as of me writing this it is now May 2nd, 2021. It’s been a whole year since the last episode and we still have no idea when the finale is coming.

Like, bruh.

Also remember how the longest episode in season one was only about 15 minutes long and the shortest one was barely four minutes?

Well the shortest episode in season two is Crofters- The Musical which is 8:42 seconds. The longest episode is Putting Others First which is a whopping 51:09.

And I wish I could say that the writing was on the same level it was in the first season, but there’s a reason I put that warning up there.

Well, enough stalling, let’s get this ball rolling.

#11 Embarrassing Phases

There are no words in the English language that can describe the sheer amount of hatred I have for this episode. If I could rank this any lower, I would, which will happen once we finally get the season finale. I don't know how that episode will go but it'll definitely be better than whatever dumpster fire this was.

Like, okay. I have some positives. Roman, Patton, and Virgil's costumes were cool. I won't lie I live for vampire Virgil. And the message about embracing your past "phases" and exploring how they helped made you who you are. That's neat. I like that.

And that's it.

My biggest gripe with this episode is Virgil. He just acts like a complete bitch in this! And I don't mean that in an endearing way he's literally so mean for no reason!

He's all "You guys are trivializing my past!"

In response to them going "Hey Virgil, we're glad you're part of our group now and are proud of how far you've come!"

Like okay, even if it was insensitive to call it a "phase" literally there was no reason for him to get as angry as he did.

Just a simple; "Hey, I don't like it when you refer to what I went through as a phase because it feels like you're not talking it seriously."

Isnt that what this whole show is about? Communication???

It wasn't fun watching him just insulting the others, it was annoying!

Like poor Patton, just trying to help and be encouraging, only for Virgil to keep treating him like dirt.

What did I miss here? Virgil was fine in the last few episodes, so what the heck happened?

Oh and let's not forget the great advice Thomas offers Patton at the end of the episode in regards to handling Virgil: "Don't do anything to get on his bad side or else he'll do bad things to you!"

Okay I'm paraphrasing here but that's basically what he says! And since Virgil is supposed to be a representation of anxiety, this is a horrible message!!!

What happened to finding healthy ways to cope with your anxiety? What happened to keeping it in check so it didn't take over your life?

Yeah I'm definitely gonna make a full post about this one episode later because there's a whole lot more to unpack here. But yeah -10/10

#10 Putting Others First

There is just way too much going on with this episode. They try cramming so much in here that I don't even remember more than half of it.

I remember the opening song, then the Lilypadton fight and everything that happens from there. That's it.

And those are the best parts of this episode, but even that has problems because everything with Janus feels like a completely different episode.

Also the whole way they try to teach about morality is all over the place. How did we go from choosing a wedding over a callback to deciding whether or not you would die for your friends to self care is important?

And while the video game sequences, while utilized well in some places, were way too distracting and it felt like they were just trying to shove as many video game references in as they could.

You could take out just about all of them and the episode wouldn't change. Everything they were used for could have been done just through having the characters talk to each other, and knowing this makes the fact that this video was delayed for so long because of it just makes the whole thing worse.

Like the animations were well done, and I don't want to downplay the hard work the animator did. They were just doing their job after all.

But the trolley scenes (especially the second one) hurt my eyes with all the flashing (would have been nice to have some kind of warning for that) and some of the voice effects (especially on Logan's) were grating and distracting.

I want to rank this episode higher, but it has almost zero rewatch ability and honestly besides the ending, when I first watched this episode I was just kinda let down.

#9 Crofters- The Musical

Okay look, the song is a bop and I adore the fact that Logan and Roman got two episodes in the spotlight, but it's just kinda "meh" to me. Plus I get just a tinge of second hand embarrassment but that's just me.

And I know this is kinda unfair but another reason why this one isn't higher is because of a couple of things. One is that they set up some angst for Roman, he's clearly not doing well and Thomas thinks the best thing to do is tell him that he might get his own jam flavor.

Then he does, and instead of following up on that little plot point from this video, they just rushed out a commercial and completely ignored and potential story telling or character development for Roman.

So yeah "Return of the Jam" is the main reason why I don't like this one as much as I used to. And I actually just got an idea for a new post comparing these two so add that to my to-do list.

#8 Fitting In

I actually skipped this one during my first official watch through for one reason and one reason alone: I wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter.

But I realized that my parents wouldn't approve of me of watching a gay man's content either so I just said screw it.

And luckily I understood enough Harry Potter references to get what they were talking about and honestly, this episode is a lot of fun.

It's a good follow up to Accepting Anxiety, and a nice way to kick off season two. Virgil is finding his place among the group and everyone is trying their best to make him feel welcome, it's really sweet.

And of course we get the new costumes (which i hadn't even noticed that they were wearing their old costumes at first) and I dunno it just gives off season one vibes and it makes me happy.

#7 Moving On Part One/Moving On Part Two

Yeah honestly my thoughts on both parts of this episode are the same. What can I say? It's really good.

This definitely one of the more emotionally heavy episodes in the series, and we see the characters at their lowest for really, the first time in this series.

I adore Patton's room and how each side gets their own corners. All the little details they add in, including the changing picture in the background, it really gives off that nostalgia feel they were going for.

What I love most about this episode is how (unlike some other episodes) they actually let the emotional moments sink in and don't throw in a joke immediately after. Like the ending is bittersweet, sad almost, and I love that they stuck with the mood up until the episode ended.

Not to say there weren't some jokes here and there (mostly in the first part) but once the mood shifts and things become more serious they let that mood stay. And when there are jokes they all work really well.

This is one episode I've actually watched the least out of season two, so it'll be interesting when I go watch it again to see if any of this holds up.

#6 Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

Honestly I only put this one above Moving On because Logan and Roman are my favorites.

This episode is actually one of the weaker ones, which hurts to say because again, favorite characters, but goodness it's all over the place. It feels like a precursor to POF and not in a good way.

Logan and Roman just basically argue back and forth throughout the whole episode, never seeing eye to eye with each other, to the point where I think think the writers realized they couldn't find a way to get these two to agree so they just had Thomas step in and be like, "You guys make a really good team!"

Dude, were you even paying attention? They never even reached a conclusion on their own. And even though they have their little moment at the end, it's all kinda ruined when nothing in their relationship changes.

Yes, in Learning New Things About Ourselves, they acknowledge that there's more work to be done in regards to them, which makes sense. People aren't going to suddenly change overnight.

Yet despite having come to some kind of understanding with each other twice now (both here and LNTAO) in the following episodes they still act like they hate each other! Heck Roman is downright nasty to him for seemingly no reason and I don't really blame him for it.

More like I think the writers just don't know how to develop their relationship and just aren't as interested in them as the others. Logan's been reduced to being Mr. Exposition and apparently Roman's personal issues aren't enough for him to carry a room episode on his own because they felt the need to introduce two new characters before he finally gets it.

Sorry, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the episode.

There's some funny bits here and there and the little animations are cute (even if unnecessary) but really it's only saving grace is being Roman and Logan centered.

Even though they felt the need to include a cameo from literally every other character because apparently no one has any faith that Logan and Roman can carry an episode on their own.

#5 The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas

This episode is just pure fun. Look, I'm not a big fan of Christmas, even less of a fan of Christmas songs, but my gosh this episode almost makes me appreciate the season.

The way they're all just bickering the whole time, being very confused, and how there's just so much personality from each character even when they're not talking/singing and just being in the background is *chef's kiss* perfect.

There's so many fun little details to pick out during the song and it's fun to go back and watch how each side reacts to different things.

#4 Selfishness vs Selflessness

Gonna be real, this used to be my favorite episode. Until my overly critical brain started finding all kinds of problems in the writing department but I think I’ve been negative enough on this post so I’ll save it for another time.

Janus steals the show in this one, it’s his first official appearance since his debut and he just soaks up the spotlight. It’s refreshing to have an antagonist in the show again, and he’s the perfect foil for each of the original Sides.

He knows how to play into Roman’s insecurities, know how to feed into his ego and get him on his side. He’s in direct opposition to Patton, who believes that everything Janus represents is wrong. He’s able to silence Logan and take him out of the conversation, speaking over him most of the time.

And I guess he and Virgil have some beef I dunno.

The courtroom scenario is fun, and I love how Janus is the only one who sees how ridiculous it is (even though it was your idea in the first place, Jan) and everyone else seeing it as perfectly normal is hilarious.

I do like some of the more dramatic moments in this episode, especially that final bit with Janus questioning Thomas until he finally gets him to admit the truth. It was intense and reminded me of the scene where Janus confronts Roman in a similar manner.

While far from perfect this is still a good episode and I can find a lot to love about it, like Janus in a suit.

#3 Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts

This episode scared the shit out of me and I loved it.

Okay it didn’t actually scare me. But I stayed up to wait for it to be posted, which wasn’t until 2 or 3 in the morning. So by the time I finally watched it I was half awake and not expecting anything that I witnessed.

The result was me being terrified of Thomas with a mustache and it prevented me from sleeping. I was over it the next day though and had Forbidden Fruit stuck in my head all day. Which isn’t good when you’re running the register at work and you can’t stop singing it.

There’s a lot of reason why I love this episode, Remus being the primary thing. His entrance is iconic, the first few notes from his theme play as he creeps up behind the TV, him smiling at Roman all creepily until he whacks him over the head and knocks him out for most of the episode.

Then we get the song, Forbidden Fruit, which is just great. Slight secondhand embarrassment but seeing the finished product and all they put into it, I can’t help but love it.

Still miffed that Janus hasn’t gotten a song... specifically a villain song... I won’t ever let that go...

Logan is another highlight in this episode (no surprise) and seeing him go head-to-head against his polar opposite without batting an eye was interesting since I was kinda expecting them to show Logan having trouble dealing with Remus but nope. He handled it like a champ and I love them both.

Now I am kinda wary as to how they’re going to handle Remus in the future, especially with the intrusive thoughts aspect. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re already screwing up anxiety. But Remus has only been in one episode so far which means I can’t make any solid judgments until he’s appeared in more episodes, so I’ll have to wait and see.

All in all, great episode! Definitely deserves to be in my top three.

#2 Learning New Things About Ourselves

This episode made me feel so nostalgic. I freaking love puppets and grew up with Sesame Street and the Muppets, so I’m probably biased towards this episode but to me this is really one of the better written episodes.

Perfect? Heck no. But really, really good.

I love that we get to explore a bit more with Logan and Roman’s characters, in a lot of ways this is kind of a Logan episode which has him standing against the other Sides, and it’s really interesting to see just how different he is compared to the three of them and it could just be me but it seemed like he’s becoming more of an outsider and isn’t as close with the original four as he used to be, and this episode is what really kicks that idea off.

I can also relate to the “Well that’s nice but what do you do for a living?” message, except in my case it’s more like I want to quit my “real job” to pursue what I’m passionate about while people tell me it’ll probably never happen or “Yeah that’s a nice hobby!” So this episode really struck close to home and I just have a lot of sentimental feelings towards this one.

I love all of the designs for the puppets, they all just fit perfectly and I wouldn’t mind seeing them make a comeback one day. I know that’d be difficult since they’d need a professional to puppet them but hey, one can dream right?

And oh my gosh the song, it just gives off the same feel from Sesame Street and Muppet songs with it’s jazzy feel. And I won’t lie I flipped my lid when Logan and Thomas were in the same shot together. We hadn’t seen any of the Sides share the screen with Thomas yet and the fact that it was Logan, and he was arguing with Thomas and they were singing over each other? Ah I love it!

Also don’t get me started on how Logan’s bit in the song sounds more villainous than the others. I’m not saying anything just a neat little observation.

I have a lot of happy feelings attached to this episode, so despite the few problems I have with it I could never bring myself to hate it. The only one that tops it is...

#1 Can Lying Be Good?

The episode that started it all. The one that caught my attention and sparked my new fixation on this little series that I had just glossed over before.

I really don’t know what prompted me to watch this episode, other than I wasn’t in the best place and it just happened to pop into my recommendations one day and I figured, “Huh, haven’t watched this guy for awhile. Let’s see what he’s been up to.”

Once the episode was finished my first thought was “Holy shit when did this series start having lore?!”

This episode is probably the closest thing to perfect out of all the season two episodes so far. The writing is clever, pretty much all of the jokes land, and oh my gosh the editing in this one is phenomenal.

The way they show Roman shifting between himself and Joan throughout the episode is what sticks out the most. Having Roman’s voice coming from Joan, or having them briefly change back to Roman, I love it so much.

Not to mention Thomas’s ever changing shirt that reflects what he’s thinking/feeling is a neat little detail.

Did I mention this episode is hilarious? The ridiculousness of each scenario that they act out, with all the little inputs from Logan and Virgil who are both trying their best to do their jobs besides not even wanting to be part of it in the first place is adorable.

And of course, the man of the hour, Deceit. Or Janus as we now know him as.

Is it weird that I like Deceit more as a name? Probably, but that’s just because I don’t like how early his name was revealed.

Okay that was my last negative comment. Promise.

Now since I hadn’t watched Sanders Sides in a while I didn’t notice anything off about “Patton” during my first watch. But going back after seeing the rest of the series helped me catch all the little hints they added to clue in the audience that something wasn’t right.

A lot of it is really subtle, mostly in the acting department, but once you’ve caught on to everything it makes you wonder how you didn’t notice the first time. You can even see Logan and Virgil throughout the episode, knowing that something is off with “Patton” but holding back their concerns until Virgil finally calls Deceit out.

I’ve rewatched Deceit’s reveal so many times. When he finally drops the act after Thomas makes up his mind not to lie, you can just tell he no longer cares whether Thomas knows or not. Then things get even more tense when Logan is silenced, and everyone knows what’s going on except Thomas.

The music starts to build up, Thomas is flipping out, then after Deceit taunts him again he finally demands to know what’s going on and BAM there he is!

I love everything about this.

Like, what else can I say? This episode is brilliant. It really shows exactly what this team is capable of when they’re at their best. The pacing, the build up, the writing, all of it combined together to make the perfect episode.

Season Two has been, interesting. The long waits have caused some problems with the pacing and characters, not to mention the departure of Joan from the writing team with new writers entering the room, not to mention the first welcome now unwelcome arrival of Asides, and with only the season finale left before season three, it makes me wonder just where this series is headed.

I know this series is capable of doing incredible things, season one is still solid and it really holds up even after all this time. But season two just feels like a jumbled mess. Sure, it’s easy to enjoy the episodes individually, but once you try to fit them all together it’s like trying to jam a puzzle piece into a place where it doesn’t fit.

The best way to describe this season is as an experimental season. Each episode has the team trying something new, sometimes it seems these gimmicks take precedence over the story itself. Of course, some of these can work to the episode’s advantage, while others are just distracting and you’d know you wouldn’t miss them if they were gone.

It’s a mixed bag that’s for sure. One that has me watching in morbid curiosity as I wait to see whether it’ll crash in the end or blow my expectations out of the water. It really is fun to analyze these episodes, and yes I know I can be very harsh but believe it or not this is how I engage with media that I love.

My hope is that team will learn from season two and try to take a more simple approach with their production once season three roles around. Because if they continue at the same pace they are now I doubt there will be many people around to see this series through.

And on that note, that was my ranking of season two! I’m actually kinda excited now to go back and rewatch everything, I hope I don’t have to wait much longer to do so but that all depends on when the season two finale comes. Whether it ends up exceeding my expectations or just being “meh” I know it’ll be interesting regardless and I can’t wait to see just how they plan on wrapping this all up before the final season arrives.

#dukeofrankings #dukeofcritical #this one post spawned so many future posts #i'm gonna be a busy onion

20 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

(of vol8) This shit writing and fandom giving me SPN flashbacks. The cult-like following that dismisses most unless it's to critique a ship.

Yall...really going to justify James suddenly being a mass-murderer by pulling up the last 5 minutes of vol 7, like that kind of randomly shooting people isnt EXACTLY what we're saying is OOC.

So he's just killing random people now instead of arresting them? And people are saying rumor has it that he's going to use Watts to hack Penny? So they're going to pull a crow and Tyrion thing where they are going to have this guy who's usually smart suddenly pair up with a serial killer they JUST captured?

They really f*cked up by having him spare Watts, because now, him *murdering* instead of arresting children and councilmen makes little to zero sense.

I'm done with this series now. This went so stupid so fast.

Which - as I’ve continually said - is my problem with the Volume and what I mean when I say it’s badly written. The issue is not that Ironwood did become a villain, it’s that he became a villain in a stupid, completely unpersuasive manner. When I say “He’s not a villain” I’m not denying that he’s now shot people, I’m acknowledging that these events occurred with no buildup and contradict five volumes worth of information about him including, as you say, the fact that he spared Watts. But suddenly he tries to kill Oscar? After giving us years of Ironwood as a sometimes misguided but ultimately good man with the patience of a saint, you can’t just turn on a dime and erase all that, especially for no reason. We either needed a decently long decent into villainy that wasn’t continually undermined like it was in Volume 7 (e.g. Why is the story acting like Ironwood is a horrible person for using resources to save the world when the team won’t tell him that plan won’t work?), or we needed an outside force to turn Ironwood villainous against his will (e.g. Salem takes control of him via a grimm). What we’ve gotten is just bad writing.

And I always come back to Ruby as a counter example. Ignoring all the horrible things she has done lately, what if she, next episode, started killing people? As far as we can see it’s entirely out of the blue and by no means necessary. RT has just randomly decided to take a flawed but ultimately good hero and turn her into a killer. Ruby kill shots Harriet with Crescent Rose because she’s sick of hearing her talk. Winter runs into the room screaming at her, wanting to know what she thinks she’s doing, and after showing empathy towards her team Ruby goes cold and shoots Winter in the hallway. Then the fandom starts scrambling for explanations. Regardless of whether RT would frame those acts as villainous or justified (because you know they would try to justify it with Ruby) it’s ridiculous either way because we haven’t done the work to build Ruby into someone who would just kill people at the drop of the hat, certainly not current/former allies. There’s a reason why, despite everything else she’s done, she stops at knocking out the Ace Ops. We understand that Ruby killing them because ‘Well now they won’t get in our way again’ doesn’t work for her character... so why do so many insist that it works for Ironwood? The Ironwood who defended Weiss? Begged Ozpin to come back? Was ready to let Qrow slice through him rather than raise a hand against him? Because he made a joke about shooting Qrow four volumes back? Funny how Qrow didn’t follow up on his own half of the threat when he indeed ended up working for Ironwood because it was a joke for he audience.

Tl;dr “This went stupid so fast” yup. I’m afraid so :/

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #mymetas #raimagnolia

39 notes · View notes

anotherbeingsworld · 4 years

Text

I’ll See You Again

Pairing: Sienna Trinh x Danny Cardinal

Summary: A depth look in Sienna’s and Danny’s relationship until the night before it all went down.

Warning: Mentions of death. Besides that, its a fluffy and bittersweet tale.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything, except the storyline. All characters are owned by Pixelberry.

A/N: I am backkk, well.. not literally. I took a small chunk of my time to write this to celebrate our girl Sienna, and for the @siennatrinhappreciationblog ! This is my submission for Day 1 of Sienna Trinh Appreciation week and this is my first time writing for them, I hope I hit the mark! I have been quite mixed feelings in life right now, it is both a good and bad time-ish, it feels like a lot and, i am so sorry if I am lack on updates for bryce fics, I hope to write soon without hesitation and everything else that is going on! So, no one told me that life is gonna be this way.... sjssksk, i am surviving at its finest! I hope all of you are doing amazing, and thank you for everything! I apologize in advance if there is any grammatical errors! Enjoy!

Tags: @siennatrinhappreciationblog , @mvalentine , @drethanramslay , @storyofmychoices , @jaxsmutsuo , @fantasyoverreality98 , @bratzlahela , @choicesficwriterscreations @aylamwrites , @baltersome , @kelseaaa , @thundergom, @ohramsey , @ohvamsey , @mrsbhandari , @starrystarrytrouble ( I don’t have a perma tag list and this isnt a Bryce fic, sooo... I am tagging a few peeps!)

LINK TO MASTERLIST

The small moments they spend as the sun sets at the house party, as they talked about life, tv-shows, good memories, cringey moments and life is one of the best moments for her. The moments followed, was a series of smiles caught in-between shifts, as their hands brushed on the nurses counter, or the introduction of 50s movies that made her smile, including a monologue of Danny reciting the lines of a damsel in distress that made her heart leapt in joy.

She had Wayne, but the feeling with him cant be compared as he made her feel unimportant, as if there is a barrier in between that keeps on stopping her from seeing the light. Danny Cardinal is a different one, a new presence that somehow she didn’t know she needed. Someone who sees her more than Wayne ever does, someone who appreciates her talents along with their quirky interests that made them compatible one way or another.

She never told her roommates, the day they went out to Donahue together, a moment of silence as Sienna finally had the courage to invite him for a drink, after her break-up with Wayne. She wasn’t ready to move on yet, but…she felt like she needed a friend. Someone to talk too, someone who she could relate in a way, and that’s where Danny Cardinal made his entrance.

‘I just break up with my long-time boyfriend..’ It suddenly slips out of her tongue, somehow she was wallowing it after their confrontation with Casey earlier.

He wasn’t ready. He didn’t expect that news would drop as they just finished work.

‘OH-, are you okay? Do you need anything, we could go back if you want!’ His voice filled with caution, as he tries to comfort her in the most awkward way he could think of at the moment.

Sienna smiles at his reaction, it was a mixture of cute and adorable which she is aware that it is similar. A laugh stifle out of her, as Danny smiles too. Mirroring her expression, he found himself being very careful as he slips his fingers into her, giving her a squeeze, equivalent to the saying, ‘everything is going to be alright.’

She felt happy, a different kind of happiness. That night was the start of it all, a small gesture that is worth more than a thousand words. It was called, something new. She recalls the small gesture, when she is down, or mad, or even sad, as a way to assure herself that she is going to be alright.

Until that unfortunate day, the fear in her started to show as seeing her best friend, and him there in the room somehow being sacrificed for an evil plan. She recalls their small talks the night before, as he was seen bringing her a cup of coffee after the long day they both had, their small talks is something normal in other people’s eyes, as it is an escape for them into the world.

‘A cup of brownie chocolate drink for one Sienna Trinh?’ His voice in a sing-song as he passed the cup to her.

‘…And, a cup of Hazelnut Latte for Danny Cardinal courtesy of Casey, and her access to Dr. Ramsey’s coffee machine.’ She whispered the last part of the sentence making him laugh as his voice boomed through the empty hospital hallways.

‘Free coffee too, count me in?’ Danny said happily taking a sip of his drink, as Sienna does the same.

‘How was your day?’ She asked, as they walked through the hallways; one of the reasons she manages to keep herself sane after all the insanity from her day as a second-year resident.

‘It was…’ He went silence, as he took another sip before continuing.

‘The Senator’s case. It was odd, and weird. I know I shouldn’t questioned anything, but he gave me some bad vibes, including his assistant Travis, they both kinda gave me a weird vibe. I felt like Travis was lurking his way down the halls, somehow searching for something… and it creeps me out.’ A shiver escaped him, as they arrived at the quiet cafeteria.

‘I heard about him, he is the one who came from Mass Kenmore right?’ Sienna asked, recalling the info Casey told her about her heist with Baz at MK.

He nod, taking another sip.

‘How was yours?’

She lets out a sigh, followed by a groan.

‘I am guessing, it was bad..?’ His voice slowly, as Sienna nods in return.

‘It wasn’t horrible, but…it felt tiring. I just feel like I have to do everything and Mitch isn’t helping one bit, and there is this kid, he is suffering with all these decisions and... ugh!’ She lets out a groan of frustration once more, earning an ‘I’m sorry’ look on Danny’s face.

She tried to plastered a smile on her face, an attempt to make herself look stronger. But, somehow she felt like she can’t fake it, a part of her wanted to fake a smile, and just brushed the topic off.

‘You know you don’t have to be strong in front of me Sienna, it’s okay to be sad once in a while…’ Danny stated with a slow tone, a comforting one.

‘Doctors were supposed to be strong, its our job to be strong for our patients…’

‘And yet, we are humans Sienna. We can cry, smile, laugh and get ourselves angry because we are human. Those feelings are valid, and it means you are you. There is honestly nothing wrong with that okay?’ Danny moved to the opposite side of the table, taking a seat beside her. In a split second, she founds herself leaning onto the comfort of his hugs. The universal language that will never gets old, kisses are great and all, but… hugs are even better. He place his arms around her shoulder, as the cold environment around them was a hazy memory.

‘You know you give good hugs don’t you Danny?’ Sienna said in between the hugs, as their drinks started to cool off.

‘Hey, its apart of who I am! Don’t tell Bryce, he once told me that he was the best hugger in Edenbrook.’ A laugh stifled out of her once more, her troubles were behind.

‘Don’t worry, besides Casey; you are definitely a close second.’ She winks at him, as they enjoyed their presumably final moments together.

It was almost dawn, as both of their pagers were paged at the same time. Both of them rushed, at the same time trying to keep in moment as they enjoyed their small company together without any interruptions from the real world.

A few minutes after, they arrived at their pin-point where they would have to say ‘goodbye’. In that moment, without hesitation; a gut feeling inside told her; hug him. It can somehow be your last time seeing his face.

He looks at her in disbelief at first, but who ever declines a hug? He hugs her back, the feeling of comfort that somehow the key of keeping both of them sane is one ways or another. A gesture that she would love to get used to, hugging Danny. Maybe more than the other. After a while, they pulled away. A small smile linger on her face, as she left the nursing station; a contained feeling in her heart. She turns her head back, meeting his eyes once more. He waves from afar, as she waves back as they resume their lives.

And, that morning was the last time she saw his face. The last time she would feel his touch, the final cup of coffee together, and… their final hug. As Danny was one of the victims of Travis’s plan on murdering the Senator.

The sadness from before suddenly felt in her once again, without the comfort of his hugs and words. She felt herself wanting to break down, as the news escaped the lips of Dr. Ramsey.

Sienna tried to stay strong, as she stood behind the glass. With a full of pain in her heart, meeting Casey’s emerald’s which is fill with sympathy. She mouthed, ‘I’m so sorry’. As the tears threatened to fall from her eyes, Jackie scoot towards her way and bring her into the group’s embrace.

‘Don’t you dare die. No coma’s either. Just…hold the line, hear me?’ Her voice booms through the glass, as tear started to fall.

As all of them were ushered away, working on the treatment. Sienna looked back, as she saw Bryce walking into the room with a hazmat suit on him, a small smile on her face; knowing Casey wont be alone for the time being. She glanced back once more, before moving forward with the rest of the team.

------------------------

The same smile appeared once more, after Casey was saved. She couldn’t lose another one of the people she cared about, and… she engulfed her with a bear hug, the lost and comfort from the day before started to catch up to her. The day she lost Danny, and the day her best friend is save. Two different events that change her life in a way.

Funerals were meant to celebrate the life that was lived, staring at the black theme-d attire in her room, she wasn’t ready to face it. She wasn’t ready to face the day, where she would see him for the final time. The final time, where she could picture the smile on his face, as the memories from the past days would play in her mind again and again; as a way to comfort her sorrows.

She glanced at her room, somehow looking at it for the first time. Her eyes gaze upon the lines of furniture, and it stops at the wall of pictures. Somehow, all of the good memories from her intern year was on that wall, reminding her the good times of it all. Her eyes stop at one, she remembered it all too well.

A photo, both herself and Danny were sleeping on the couch after the party, that her friends took. She was mad at first, but… she realizes that was one of the earliest memories of herself and Danny, and she was grateful for it.

She didn’t join in the others, as a way to cope herself with all of it. She took the long way down, a way to be with her own thoughts, as after a while; the cemetery was in view. The number of nurses, workers, families, and many more had came by to express their thoughts. A way of remembering the ones that has gone, she glances at the crowd as she stood beside Dr. Ramsey who is somehow standing in the back of it all.

It was silence between them, as she glance upon the familiarity of the voice. It was Casey’s as she takes the lead, a smile upon her face from the stories that she managed to recalled from both Danny’s and Bobby’s time at Edenbrook, they were heroes. They will never be forgotten, somehow; it was one of the things that made saying goodbye very hard.

--------------------------

Afterwards, she founds herself linger behind. The skies are dark, upon the lost of two souls. Taking a small Laelia Orchid in her hand, making her way to both of them. Her tears stained cheek are visible, through the darkness of the sky. She places the flower in both of their caskets, a final goodbye.

The walk back to the hospital was accompanied by memories, smiles, laughter and even the warmth of his comfort accompanying her way back. She smiled despite it all, knowing that Danny is always going to be there, a comfort for her; as she took a sip of his favorite drink or, the moment where she stumbled at one of the movies from their trip to the Common. A reminder that he is always going to be apart of her, helping her through this life. As a human being, a doctor, a friend… and maybe in another lifetime; something even bigger than before.

She knows that she will see him again, very very soon.

THE END.

#playchoices #open heart #sienna trinh #sienna x danny #siennatrinhappreciationweek #danny cardinal #fics #anotherbeingsworldwrites #open heart second year #tw:death

50 notes · View notes

dangan-happy · 3 years

Note

give me back my glitter, monomi!!!

hi mods, i hope things are doing well for all of you.. i don't usually do things like this, but I'm desperate, i guess. i don't really have anyone to go to. i DO have online friends, but they're already busy with their own problems and i don't want to make it worse.

since lockdown and online school started, my executive dysfunction is getting worse. i keep submit my assignments past due date. it's so hard for me to start working for some reason... especially past the due dates. i usually had my energy and motivation in this kind of stuff after some time recovering (even though it took months...), but after almost a year, i just can't seem to grasp that energy and motivation anymore. the feeling of overwhelm and fear keeps holding me back.

my parents don't help either. they keep me up until 12 or 1 am almost every nights doing extra chores. I'm more focused at nights, so i feel exhausted and passed out the whole day most of the time. if i tell them i have assignments to do, no matter how important it is, they would get angry and threaten to punish me by taking my devices away (which is not good bc i need them for school).

i did ask for help in a server i used to be in, they said sleeping, showering, and taking walks would help. but I'm not allowed to go outside, and if I *do* sleep, I don't have much time for assignments except for chores given by my parents. showering and pacing around my room wont help either. and if i DO get time to do my assignments, i would be scared and doubting to do it and find myself staring blankly at the wall for a long time.

i can't even do my own hobbies like drawing and reading novels because i keep worrying about my assignments!!!! but like i said before.. it's so hard to start working and stay focused. i tried so hard, but i keep blanking out.. and my hands refused to work. i swear, i really tried and i HATE being not able to work like any other normal students.

I'm scared for my future. my grades decide for my future and my family depend on it. I'm very close on graduating highschool. I'm the oldest child of two, yet I'm not showing a good example infront of my younger brother (who is 7 btw). I swear I'm trying to be a better person, not just for my family but also for myself.... I want to work hard, I want to be a good student like I used to be but I find it very difficult. I feel so alone.

that's all i could remember in my mind. thinking about it in more details make me feel horrible. i wouldn't ask for advices because i doubt they could help me anymore (although the efforts would be appreciated), but may i ask for encouragement from komaeda, rantaro and/or taichi fujisaki? (if all three can't make it, then I'll ask for taichi only instead if that's no trouble) i keep feeling about giving up and i don't want that. maybe a little push? my English isnt my main language, i hope i make sense. thaank you and have a nice day!

H-Holy moly with a side of macaroni, kiddo. That’s a huge plateful right there; you truly have been going through a lot, huh? Don’t worry about your English, by the way; for it not being your main language, you did a great job! Phew, for a moment there, I was almost ready to program some advice. Heh, see what I did there, kiddo? A-Anyway, I’m just glad you spoke up about just wanting some encouragement and a bit of a push instead. I hope a average programmer like myself can do just that.

Kiddo, I acknowledge that things are really rough for you right now. I-It probably feels like you’re up against this huge computer virus that you can’t seem to destroy or shake off. O-Okay, that was sort of a bad, bias metaphor, so I’ll say something else. It... I-It probably feels like despair; despair that might feel too overwhelming for you. But while I may know more about programming than anything else first, I do know something else that isn’t related to programming, and that is: You can and will get through this. I-I believe in the power of hope, and you should, too! I have hope in you, kiddo, and I mean that. I have hope that you’ll be able to fix your academic issues; hope that you’ll continue to work hard and better yourself as a individual; hope that you’ll succeed and show others just how talented you truly are. Of course, I know you didn’t ask for advice, b-but just keep in mind that if you ever need to confide in someone, please confide in someone. Don’t hold it all in. Whether it be me, someone else on this blog, or someone else entirely in your life, just try not to bottle it all up, o-okay?

I see a bright, hopeful future for you, kiddo. I-I’m serious! I’m more serious than when I finished my most recent programming project last minute, and that project was... a rather important, huge one. L-Like I said, things are rough right now, but that doesn’t determine your future. As long as you try your best, th-then what more can anyone ask for? I-I only ask for the best from my child, and so, the same goes for you, too, kiddo. J-Just do your best to stay on the side of hope, and keep your head held up high. I’ll even help you with gaining some hope of your own, if you want.

I-I know you didn’t ask for one, but if hugs count as giving you a little push, then mind if I give you one, kiddo? Y-You deserve it for having to deal with this much despair and fighting back against it. I hope some of this made you feel better and gave you what you wanted. I’ll be on my computer if I’m needed again, kiddo.

Hey there anon, don't worry about it. I'm happy to help out. Things are going pretty well for me, thanks for asking, but let's focus on you now. I'm real sorry you're so desperate. Yeah, this whole blog thing is an interesting way to do things, but I'm glad we can be an outlet for you, at least for now. That's a real nice thing for you to do, worrying about your friends like that. Just know that you don't have to keep things like this in. You're not a burden, and you don't have to stay quiet. I can't say I know too much about executive dysfunction, at least at a personal experience level, but I do have a general idea of what it is. Times are freaking crazy. It makes sense that you're relapsing, as crappy as that is. You said that fear is holding you back, and is there something specific that makes you afraid? Maybe exploring that will help you out a little.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like your parents are any help at all! What chore is important enough for you to stay up past midnight? That seems more than a little crazy in my book, and I think that's probably a big thing that's holding you back from getting stuff done. You've obviously heard this before, but sleep is important. With the chores thing and device thing combined, yeah, they're a huge roadblock. Yeah, that is some pretty good general advice you got from the other server, but yeah, I don't think that's gonna be too helpful for your specific situation. Is there any way you could motivate yourself? That's another thing that doesn't help in all situations, but it's something to keep in mind. Hey, you can't help the fact that you don't work like other students, you can't control your feelings all the time, and that's ok. It sounds like you're stuck in a cycle of chores, minimal sleep and stress over assignments, and that would take a toll on anyone. Could you use your hobbies as a way to motivate yourself? Maybe work for five minutes, then read or draw for five minutes?

Hey, you're almost graduating, and I think that's awesome! Even if you're struggling a little now, you've come a long way. Honestly, I don't think you should feel too guilty about not being a good example. Honestly, I don't think you're a bad example at all. The odds are kind of against you, and you got things and people actively making it harder. I can tell how hard you're working, and that's seriously amazing. You've sure as hell earned my respect. I think you're actively fighting to be the person you want to be, and I'm so proud of you for that. You're not alone, that's for sure. I'm no stellar student myself, and I've seen a whole lot of people give up way faster than you have. It's ok, you got your point across, and you don't gotta think about it anymore if you don't want to. Honestly, yeah I don't think I have a whole lot of advice aside for this. I think you wanna talk to teachers, or a counselor, or any other professional who can get you some extra help. There's not a lot I or any non professional can do on our ends, and I think the extra help would really help you out. Yeah, you sure as hell shouldn't give up. You're so close, and you're not as hopeless as you think you are. I can tell you're fighting for this, and I know you can make it all the way through. It might take a little bit of extra work, but I know you're tough and resourceful enough to see this through to the end. You're already a good person, and continuing to want to be better is really impressive. You're an amazing person, and you can handle this ok? Try to have a little faith in yourself. Honestly, your English seems fine to me, I never would have guessed it wasn't your first language. Anyways, I really hope this helped, I wish I could do more for you. You can do this, I know you can. I hope you have a nice day too!

My my Anon, your Luck seems to be all over the place. Truly Despair is trying to sink it’s disgusting claws into your life. Your English was fine Anon. You did a good job if I do say so myself, hehe. I’m glad you were able to calm and talk to us! I may not be the best but I shall try everything in my power to raise your Hope.

For starters, friends are supposed to help each other, it’s what makes you friends after all! If they are uncomfortable with you venting or that’s what you think, try asking them first before doing so, sometimes people aren’t ready to handle emotions like that. This pandemic has done a number on many of people. I’m sorry that it’s been going worse for you. Turning in assignments on time must be hard as well. But in my opinion, turning them in is better than not turning them in at all. Doing your work is also very important. I’m glad that even if you do have little energy, you try to use it to do your work. Trying to get energy to do anything is hard as well. I’d consider that burn out. Sometimes you just need time for your brain to heal, to process things that are happening in your life. I’m sure it’s quite overwhelming, how school has to take extra precautions and be online, or a hybrid class. It must all be very difficult to grasp.

Your parents seem to be a bit...strict? Having you up and doing chores for that long and that late isn’t good for anyone. It seems you tried explaining to them beforehand, but I’d like to see if you could try one more time. If that doesn’t help, maybe talk to a family member to help you out in some way? Maybe they help make your parents listen to you.

Hehe sorry, I’ve just been giving you advice this entire time! My bad, can’t help trying to help people, even if I’m garbage. Anon, I applaud you for coming this far, through all this crap and Despair, you’ve been trying your best to push on! Even through the darkness you’re still trying to be a good student and do your work! I’m so proud of you! I’m glad that you’re trying to take steps to help improve your energy as well, taking care of yourself is very important in any situation, no matter how little energy that you have! Once you graduate you won’t have to worry about this stuff for a while, and maybe things will get easier! I know your brother knows you’re trying your best, he can see it I’m sure! I hope you don’t mind I give you a hug! Hopefully it’ll help take the weight of your shoulders and give you some Hope.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #taichi fujisaki #mod hajime #rantaro amami #mod rantaro #nagito komaeda #mod nagito

6 notes · View notes