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ghoul-the-crappy-artist-blog · 5 years

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Miscellaneous stuff from a character discussion chat in a BNHA rp server that I'm apart of, found these gems recently and decided to share them with ya'll out of boredom, (some of these are very old btw):

Someone: "so your willing to risk your life for this? Thats noble but.. you do know there's a high chance for death right?"

Jade: "oh yeah, I know. im mainly just agreeing to this because I think I can outrun anything."

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Jade: is pissed off "I may smile all the time honey, but I've got a mean f*cking back hand and I'm not afraid to use it on your ugly a** :) "

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Jade: "if I run at them, they will most certainly catch me in their arms." runs at friend and both topple over, braking a table in the process on their way to the ground.

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Villian: is very confused and expected something different. "um.. what are you wearing..?"

Jade: wearing mixed matched clothes from different aesthetic genres. "it's my ass kicking outfit b*tch!"

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Jade: trying to sound smart but is also very tired. "steampunk is only a thing because some goths discovered the color brown."

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Jade: yells at bad guys "I'm 8 ounches of whoop-ass!"

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Jade: proceeds to scare everyone as a jump scare happens while watching a horror movie, then proceeds to get pelted with pillows.

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Villian: "why don't you just go down and die with diginity??"

Jade: "HA jokes on you! I don't do anything with dignity!"

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Jade: being forced to watch over kids and gets bored so she decides to mess with them in order to entertain herself "now remember kids, rats are the capri-suns of the vampire world!"

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Jade: walks into her therapists office "hello person with a degree! I'm here to tell you why I'm broken."

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Jade: franticly texting her classmates while unknowingly in a villains lair/villian territory "this is a mass text- DOES ANYONE KNOW WE'RE I AM?"

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Jade: looks at her the angery rival whos busy trying to be edgy "pff, who is this sad lost child?"

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Person: "hehe people love me! I'm like cupid~"

Jade: "your a whore with a bow & arrow."

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Person: "lol I've never seen someone so pathetic!"

Jade: "oh, did you look in a mirror?"

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Friend: "um.. why are you so quiet today?"

Jade: "no one plans murder out loud.."

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Jade: "well that was fun!"

Person: "no it wasn't, we went to jail!!"

Jade: "nah, we went to Holland. Big difference."

(If you get this reference, your amazing)

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Jade: "I saw a piece of shit on the ground the other day and it reminded me of you."

Iro: "yeah? Well that piece of shit probably gets more looks then your gremlin lookin' ass."

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Villain: "I'm gonna kill you! I'm so powerful, not even all of you combined can stop me!"

Class 1-A: "yeah um.. we don't think Jade will let us die.. let us ask her tho." looks at jade. "hey this Villain says-"

Villain: "that's not how this works-"

Jade: looking at her classmates with a super serious expression and cracking her knuckles. "No."

Class 1-A: turns back to the Villain and shrugs. "yeah, she said no."

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Jade: "you ever just think that.. sweet-tarts are just sour smarties..? And that rice is just boiled wheat?"

Person: "jade.. how high are you?"

Jade: "huh? Oh.. about, like 5'6."

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Jade: "positive words of the day: if your ever sad, just remember- Doofenshmirtz's girlfriend left him for a whale."

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Jade: "I'd sell you to Satan for one corn chip."

Rival: "last week when someone called me weak during training; you tackled them and broke their jaw with your bare hands out of anger."

Jade: "..."

Rival: "..."

Jade: "irrelevant."

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Jade: "I don't know why people think driving is so hard, it's just like Mario cart except slower.. and you can't throw blue shells at people."

Parents: "okay.. that settles it, your never driving."

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Jade: talking to a bully "I'm only gonna say this once- DO NOT f*ck with my friends. I have watched way to many crime shows, and I know how to get away with things."

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Jade: "I like a nice nap, my naps can last up to 3 hours. Some call that depression- I call it nap time."

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Jade: "what do you mean? I'm always calm and rational with minor inconveniences!"

Friend: "you had a mental brake down yesterday when we were out of gummy worms."

Jade: "so? Their my favorite.."

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Jade: smirks while looking out the window.

Friend: "hm? What'cha smiling at over there Jade-"

Person: "she set the old golf course on fire to see what would burn."

Jade: filled with glee and holding back laughter. "Hehe-..everything's ablaze."

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Jade: is out with friends one night and parents get brung up in the conversation. "..."

Jade: looks off into the distense and into the depths of the city and raises her middle finger. "f*ck you dad."

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Friend: has all the sads

Jade: le gasp "don't worry! I have emotional jumper cables!"

Jade: hugs friend then locks her hands together while her arms are around them.

Friend: confused "um.. Jade, this is just a hug-.."

Jade: "yeah, but.. is it working?" smiles happily like a lil kid

Friend: "..."

Friend: "maybe.."

Jade: :D

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Child Jade: "i don't understand why you are scared to meet new people, strangers are just friends you haven't met yet!"

Friend: "that's how you get mugged or murdered.."

Child Jade: "..hmmm... would they stab me with friendship..?"

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Apolaki: at the theme park "how much for the horse tornado??"

Jade: "it's called a carousel.."

Amusment Park Worker: "sir, It's not for sale."

Apolaki: quietly to himself 'I must have it..!'

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Person: "so you guys got kicked out of the movies? Uuh.. do i even nedd to ask why?"

Jade: "Iro and I were yelling diving scores as people were jumping of the boat in titanic."

Person: "wtf-"

Iro: "that last guy was a solid eight let me tell you."

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Dad: "why can't you just be normal for once??"

Jade: "oohh I don't know, why can't you be a good father for once?"

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Jade: "studying? Heh more like student dying! Am I right or am I right?"

Person: "um.. Jade, are you ok..?"

Jade: "nope! Ha ha.., I've been awake for 103 hours."

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Jade: "no no no- I'm fine, it was pretty cool! I went in there and he was all like 'Knife to meet you' and then stabbed me-"

Gin: "JADE YOU WERE STABBED- !?"

Jade: "yeah but, you don't understand- he made a PUN Gin."

----

Jade: "how to you orangize a galactic party?"

Rival: "I don't really care, but how?"

Jade: "hehe, you.. Planet !"

Rival: "get tf out.."

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Person: "Im like Belle because she loves books and likes people for their souls."

Jade: "I'm like Tinkerbelle because she needs attention and love or else she dies."

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Jade: singing "I want to see my little boy~"

Harper: walks into the room while holding up Apolaki "here he comes~!'

Jade: throwing confetti "I want to see my little boy~!"

Apolaki: *has no idea what vine is, so is very confused*

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Uda over text: "I miss those bro posts, bro."

Kumoji over text: "I miss your eyes, bro."

Uda: "bro.." :0

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Uda: "if I run and jump at Kumoji, he will most certainly catch me in his arms!" runs full speed at Kumoji

Kumoji: steps to the side to avoid it

Uda: runs into the wall "oOf

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Jade: "um.. what'cha got there Uda?"

Uda: standing in front of a lion that he stole from the zoo, and that he put a leash & a hat on while holding a drink "a smoothie."

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Jade: "I want to look like a snack this summer, but I keep f*cking eating them."

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Jade: "limes are the off brand warheads of the lemon world."

Kanna: "uuh yeah hey-, what the f*ck does this mean??"

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Child Jade: "when I become 99 pounds I want to eat 1 pound of sugar, so that I can be 1% candy!"

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Jade: dancing around and singing like like a Disney princess "i wish to venture in the great wide somewhere~"

Kanna: opens door "you can do that, no one's stopping you."

Jade: flops onto her bed "but not today cuz I am tired~"

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Person: gets a bruise or small cut "ouchies I have a boo boo! Looks like I can't do anything at all till it heals." :)

Jade: Is literally deku during the end of the training camp arc with cuts, bruises, a significant loss of blood, and two broken arms "let's do this- come at me bish."

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Jade: "eh whatever, I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80."

Kanna: "if your alive by 80 I DEMAND A MEDICAL EXPLAINATION"

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Jade: "you ever think about how.. the brain named itself?"

Kanna: sigh "its too early for this late night shit.."

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Uda, Gin, and Jade: finds a villain disguised as a injured civilian who looks close to death

Jade: in a monokuma voice internally: "pupupupupu~ a body has been discovered!" externally: "oh no-"

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Jade: "one time I passed by Kanna in the hallway. it looked like she was eating a apple, but when I got closer, I realised.. she was eating a whole bell pepper.."

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Jade: puts on fancy overly bedazzled sunglasses "words can't hurt me, these shades are gucci."

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Jade at the end of a long school day: "goodbye everyone! I'll remember you all in therapy."

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charlyoddsox27 · 6 years

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its 6am, i havent slept, im bored, so im posting a list of the mercs in order of whom i like the most and reasons why, because thats something i should do i guess?

here goes

(spoilers for the comics down below but either way i think im the only person on earth who has never read them before now)

~~~

~~1. Medic~~

reasons for being my favourite:

• fucking. look. at. him. 👌

• 'mad german doctor' is one of my favourite tropes and he is a pretty bang-on satirical depiction of it

• cute-ass german accent

• he has pet pidgeons hE LOVES HIS PIDGEON PALS THEY KEEP HIM COMPANY

• healers are the most respectable class imo and since Medic pretty much started it he's automatically the best, thats how it works right?

• he sold some random persons soul to satan in exchange for a ***ballpoint pen*** and can i just say, fucking mood??? (he is literally the "i'd sell you to satan for one cornchip" meme)

• "yes, Archimedes...I couldn't agree more." *shudders* b oi .. .

• so many more reasons to love this gross old doctor so little room in Tumblrs posts.

~~2. Spy~~

reasons for being my second favourite:

• cranky, done with everyones shit, just wants to be left alone, fucking mood

• he's a spy i mean c'mon. look at the swanky-ass suit, look at the class radiating from this asshole.

• he may be a dick but he has a soft side he's just too jaded to show it most of the time (see: Scouts death in the comics?? real tears. honestly wish they'd panned that out more.)

• masks are hot tbFH--

• he enjoys a nice glass of whisky by the fireplace and so do i (fun fact: france is the biggest importer of scottish whisky in the world so its a nice touch)

• shapeshifting is fucking cool are you serious like he can just. do that. what a legend

• "i have a cyanide pill in one of my molars, if i break it then spit some in your mouth before i die, we can avoid being tortured." *'heavy' bursts in to save them* "PFFTHBTHF--"

• "SEDUCE ME."

• arrogant frenchman is one of my other favourite tropes and this is the most arrogant frenchman ive ever seen

• he's the only fully sane Merc, maybe apart from Engie.

• people love to hate him bc he's an asshole but...come on. after working with all those other weirdos for years, you'd be pretty jaded too.

• as a gross shipper, he's the easiest and the most fun (imo) to ship with Medic (rip me)

~~3. Pyro~~

reasons for being my third favourite:

• would have tied with Soldier if it werent for that one picture of them in the comics holding a puppy over their head with the most adoring expression on their mask??? good Pyro. goodest Pyro.

• doesn't do much in the comics but makes up for it in pure charm. look at that soulless face and tell me you dont love it.

• ambiguous gender ambiguous gender amBIGUOUS GENDER AMBIGUOUS GENDER. she/he/they? trans? nb? whatever you headcanon, it'll never be confirmed so its literally up to your own imagination. fucking ace, Valve 👌👌👌

• likes to burn things. god damnit. they like to burn things, guys. but they enjoy it so much, you just cant hate them, you can only feel a sympathetic joy that this precious lunatic is having fun in their own little world.

• canonically mentally ill (schizoprenia? it could be hallucinogenic drugs but i like to think its schizophrenia.)

• pretty sure they burned a pair of pedophiles in the comics. at least i think thats what those panels were insinuating. "lets open an orphanage and have an endless supply of kids to--" sounds pretty red-flaggy to me tbh. plus they were the villains so, eh?

• bludgeoned a bear to death until its skull was pulp because it insulted their special interest. you go, Pyro.

• for a few bits in the comics they have a really cute family dynamic going on with other Mercs, Soldier for example."Miss Pauling, Pyros on my side of the car." "Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand." fuckin' cuties.

• when they start putting on like 50 shirts to keep warm in the Russian mountains. chubby.

• a gas mask that can function as both badass, and completely adorable.

• just. everything about them. how could you not love them. they're not in the wrong, you are. stay away from my misunderstood child and let them burn things god damnit.

~~4. Soldier~~

look I'm sorry, I love Soldier and he was gonna be tied with Pyro but that fucking puppy drawing sold me.

• absolute gold every second he speaks. he could sneeze and i'll laugh.

• such a dumbass you cant get annoyed at him for it. like. just agree with him and move on. no point reasoning with a boulder. "haha! silly Miss Pauling, thinking theres different types of blood." Medic: "haha yes! indeed, silly."

• HUTTAH *NECK SNAP*

• i'm not American and even i can see how blatantly his character mocks stereotypical Patriotic Americans™. but its so dumb and laughable, its adorable.

• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ZHANNA IS A BLESSING. EVERYTHING.

• the first "meet the Mercs" video i ever saw was "meet the Soldier" so he holds a special place in my heart

• (preaches about experiencing the horrors of war; has never actually been to war. shh dont tell anyone though--) *neck gets snapped*

~~5. Demoman~~

• I'm Scottish. even though his accent is absolute garbage (no offense to the VA), any representation is very nice.

• Black AND Scottish?? i mean has a character like that even existed before TF2??? amazing example of representation right there. there are barely even any black people in Scotland, how did this happen. I love it. more of this, please.

• he's a drunk guy who blows shit up for shits and giggles and god I wish I could too, sounds like a miracle stress-reliever.

• his sassy black scottish mother. combining the stereotypical black mother with the stereotypical scottish mother is literally the best thing that ever happened.

• the bit in the comic where Medic explains that Demo can't remember what happened to his eye bc he scooped out part of his brain, and the look on Demo's face. just. the look.

• again, he's scottish, he's stereotypical, and he's awesome.

~~6. Sniper~~

• underrated

• piss jars. piss jars everywhere.

• "no dad, im not a crazed murdering lunatic, I'm an assassin. ...well one's a job and the other's mental sickness!!"

• "meet the Sniper" has kickass music

• ruffled gross old man who isn't actually old, he's just seen some SHIT

• actually given development in the comics + some really good scenes with Spy.

• so suave...so...handsome. handsome ruffled bushman. me like.

• he dies first in the comics but gets brought back and gets a cool-ass scar. and then he's just walking around naked everywhere for the rest of the comic. Medic, where the fuck did you put his clothes.

• isn't actually Australian. thats like one of the biggest twists in the comic. "no wonder i was never inhumanly strong and my chest hair didn't grow into the shape of Australia!!" Classic.

• says "bugger" a lot and i love that word

• he needs a hug, let me hug him. and give him a bath.

~~7. Heavy~~

I'm gonna be crucified for putting the big lad so low but i promise i dont dislike any of the Mercs. he'd be higher up but...ive never really liked big huge tank-men tbh :/

• loveable as fuck

• will murder you if you bully his puny little Medic

• i looove Russian accents omfg

• he like big gun. i can respect that.

• when Medic was killed and he went APESHIT on Classic!Heavy and I lost my fuckin' mind over that shit

• he probably has a soft spot for small cute animals. i love imagining him being swarmed by Medics flock of doves and petting them like "good bird...so many good bird..."

• actually smarter than people give him credit for???

• i really really wish his character was a lil more fleshed out but. that's just me. i love him but he doesn't have the same appeal to me as Medic or Spy.

• his entire relationship with Medic...ugh. yes. best friends and/or boyfriends. all good to me 👌

• he named his gun Sasha and that's adorable

~~8. Engineer~~

• gOD, FUCK, I REALLY WISH HE DID MORE IN THE COMICS. i barely know anything about his character. i like him a lot but...god, he...he doesn't...do.....anything.......

• he built a cool robot arm for himself and AI turrets and teleporter machines and guns that fire magic healing powers and immortality machines, in the 1960s. what. some kind of wizard fuckery is this.

• smoothest voice in the west

• "y'all"

~~9. Scout~~

oh god i really am gonna be crucified. i dont hate him i just. like him the least.

• shitboy

• reminds me of a shitty ex but also kinda relateable in a way

• some genuinely funny bits in the shorts.

• gross horny hetero teen boy with a god complex and serious daddy issues. also, he can't read. the "sex bom" tattoo on his chest will be an eternal testament to that. nice job, Spy. you raised him good.

~~~

hoo boy there we go theres all the boys, all the beautiful boys (and Scout) in order of how much i love them. if i made any errors in my info about the canon, feel free to send me death threats 💙 (no seriously tell me though, being a newbie is embarrassing)

so uh. yeah. that took two hours to write. its now 8am. im still bored lol. bye i guess.

#long post #charlyspeaks #charlys cesspool of interests #team fortress 2 #team fortress #medic #pyro #heavy #engineer #scout #spy #demoman #sniper #soldier #zhenna #tf2 #drabble #my opinions #ooooo

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shitthehousessay · 6 years

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Ok. Since you all *insist*... (Also I saw this and was like ok cool I’m bored and didn’t realize till I read through some of them that some were references to a series I have yet to read, so excuse me, I just answered these as myself.)

1. Melody is my full name. I’m not giving my last name for privacy reasons and I don’t tell anyone my middle name, but I’ll tell you the first initial is C.

2. I’m a Taurus.

3. I’m a tiny 5′3″ and 100 lb person with curly shoulder length red hair and bangs, hazel eyes, and I’m honestly really pale.

4. I’m 17.

5. I don’t have any set style. It depends on my mood, the weather, and if I’m going anywhere. But my summer aesthetic has been shorts and crop-tops, rompers, and these big golden sun glasses.

6. I have these lined leggings I love and this olive green off the shoulder romper that’s so cute I’m honestly in love with it.

7. Just my ears so far.

8. I have a ring and I usually wear some sort of pendant but my last one’s chain broke and I have yet to get a new one so.

9. Not yet.

10. Same as number 4.

11. I always smell like oranges. I use orange essential oil as perfume. I have for the past like 2 years and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

12. I always have a notebook I carry everywhere and a favorite pen of the moment, so I guess that’s one (I’m just counting them as a pair). Right now I have a Polaroid I’m obsessed with and I guess the last two are the notebook I have our summer bucketlist and movie bucketlist in and my relationship scrapbook type notebook.

13. Ummmmm... literally no clue ?? I don’t even exactly have a favorite animal so like fersona ???

14. Dude. I’ve got all the psychic bullshit down. Seeing ghosts and telling the future and auras and shit? I got it; Looked into it and I guess that would be Divination primarily.

15. I don’t know if it counts as magic but I am like *sooo* unlucky. I would also suck at any sort of spell casting just cause luck/lack of coordination.

16. Air? I love storms and rain and stuff.

17. Maybe I’m missing a reference here but I have like no clue what this is asking. (Feel free to enlighten me.)

18. Dude. A hedgehog. They’re super cute and I’m thinking about getting an emotional support hedgehog and it’s gonna be a little black one named Shadow so yeah.

19. No comment but if I had the power to do so... Well. There are some people I do not like.

20. Dude. Excedrin is great for migraines.

21. I couldn’t pick one so Death, The Hermit, or The High Priestess.

22. I was in Tennessee actually.

23. My favorite color is blue.

24. My least favorite color is yellow.

25. I’m right-handed.

26. I was a little princess who wanted to wear dresses and shit and had a ton of dolls. Hyperactive as hell- as far as I know- too.

27. Can I skip this one? My dad is mean and controlling and my mom is... immature? I don’t know the word for it. Next question.

28. I have a whole brother, two half brothers, a half sister, an adoptive sister, and 3 adoptive brothers.

29. I mean my aunt and uncle who basically adopted me. I wouldn’t use ‘close’ for anyone else.

30. I’m scared of spiders, deep water, clowns, heights (though I’m mostly over it now), and closed spaces.

31. I am bisexual and demisexual.

32. Nope, no allergies.

33. I have my familial adenomatous polyposis thing I’ve talked about before.

34. Depression and anxiety man.

35. I literally shower everyday, showers are the best.

36. I just like pretty rocks tbh, but I like emeralds (mostly cause they’re my birthstone).

37. I like willows I guess. I’ve always wanted to have one in my yard so I could just sleep under it and just be like hidden by the leaves.

38. Sunny and warm or rainy and stormy. There is no in between and it all depends on my mood.

39. I don’t like the cold just because I am small and have body heat issues.

40. I love summer.

41. I speak English and really broken French.

42. I can sing and I can kinda play piano.

43. Man self-depreciating humor is *everything*.

44. Hot shower and a depression nap. Alternately when I’m staying with my love we cuddle and watch movies.

45. Dude I like what I like, nothing guilty about that.

46. I bite/tug my lip when I’m thinking and spin my ring when I’m nervous. There’s nothing else I can think of really off the top of my head, besides random things I say like double words (”fun fun” or “cool cool”) and so I mean. I also have a thing for pet names/nicknames. All of my close friends have a nickname and I just use pet names generally.

47. Dude I hate people but if you can succeed in making me laugh I’m sure to warm up to you which entails making bad jokes and pocking fun at you but also being there when you need me. It can take a while or like no time at all it all depends on the person and my mood when I meet them.

48. Love, money, knowledge, power, fame.

49. Write, take pictures, cuddle my boyfriend, watch movies.

50. School work, meeting new people, getting up in the morning, and dealing with high school drama.

51. “I’m like a marshmallow that tries to be a cactus and fails repeatedly.” “I’m small but that doesn’t mean I won’t find something to hit you with.” “I’ve never been wrong about anyone.” (Referring to my gaydar.) “I love you, I mean as a sibling. That’s the only time I’ll ever actually say that to you btw.” “I won’t say anything. Then if I’m right I can be like ‘called it bitch!” but if I’m wrong I won’t ever have to live it down.” (About two friends I ship.) “That baby is so cute, I’m actually crying! I just wanna hold that baby, I’m so upset!”

52. Verbal conflict makes me super uncomfortable and as much as I am willing to hit someone, I don’t usually react well to being touched.

53. I suck at (I know, I know) remembering to brush my teeth.

54. Dude. I have bad self-esteem and I hate conflict so I’m bad at talking to people about things and I’m bad about admitting when I’m wrong because I have a crippling fear of people leaving me and that if I make mistakes or have flaws or whatever they’ll leave me. That’s a start.

55. I’m good at reading people/I can talk to (or make friends) with just about anyone.

56. I have good and bad days. Sometimes I think I’m pretty and others I can’t stand how I look, but it’s gotten/is getting better.

57. I won’t lie, I don’t do well with authority figures.

58. I actually don’t remember if I had any role models or who they were.

59. I love (most) kids. Babies love me- like I am The Baby Whisperer- for no real reason and (most) little kids do too.

60. I do want kids of my own some day. We want 3. We actually want twins and we want to adopt one.

61. Nope. Not at all religious.

62. I think as long as you can say you don’t have any regrets at the end of your life- or at least make your peace with them- and you learn to love yourself and hopefully someone else, you’re doing something right.

63. I don’t know. I’d hope it was either meaningful or made someone laugh. If things go how I want, my last words will probably be “I love you.”

64. I want to get married, have kids, and finish a novel before I die.

65. I’d just hope to be remembered fondly by those who knew and loved me.

66. Depends. I send most people memes and things that remind me of them. I occasionally give hugs or lay on people, but physical contact is a weird thing for me so very few people see physical affection as my way of showing I love them and it’s usually when they’re upset/need it. It’s even rarer to hear verbal affection- excluding compliments.

67. I usually don’t eat breakfast but I have become fond of smoothies.

68. I like spicy occasionally.

69. My favorite fruit is pineapple and my favorite veggie (I count it as a veggie, fight me) is avacado.

70. I love sweets.

71. I’ve had it before, but no I don’t drink.

72. I like herbal tea with honey and coffee that doesn’t taste like coffee. (Ex. white chocolate mocha or frappuccino.)

73. I refuse to eat seafood besides sushi (makes no sense, I know) and tomatoes.

74. I like chicken nuggets and grape jelly (also cheIese sticks and jelly) but other than that I can’t think of anything that I eat that makes most people cringe.

75. I need Slim Jims and/or pepperoni and cookies for my plane rides.

76. I don’t know that any foods make me nostalgic, but mozzarella sticks and Chinese food are comfort foods for me.

77. I like to dance and sing and occasionally use hairbrushes as microphones.

78. If anyone stole something important of mine, I’d hunt them down and probably hurt them and get it back.

79. If I won the lottery I’d buy a house and probably a car so I wouldn’t have to get loans.

80. I want to invent a silencer for microwaves so they don’t wake people up- and don’t any of you dare steal that. I want my money.

81. I tend to cling to walls or people I know when in new places or situations.

82. If someone threatens me I will- depending on the situation- I will either get out of there or threaten them back. But more than likely the latter.

83. Ok, look, I’m no saint. If some rich lady dropped her purse I can’t act like I wouldn't be tempted to give it back a wad or two lighter. At the very least I’d be hoping she’d give me a reward for returning it.

84. Ouch. I’ve had some pretty awful things said to me, but I think the worst was when someone told me it was my fault that they sexually assaulted me.

85. Strangest thing I’ve come across in general? I’ve come across some weird shit man. The internet is strange. There was a video where a guy shoved a glass jar up his ass. That was pretty strange.

86. If someone takes my food what I do depends on who it is. I either just glare or I forcibly take it back and/or smack them. (There are also a few people that I don’t care if they take my food, but they are rare.)

87. If some sketchy-ass person meets me a crossroads and tells me I can have everything I want, I’m not trusting that shit. I’m not selling my soul thanks, not today Satan.

88. When I was younger I wanted to be a singer or an actress when I grew up.

89. I’m Chaotic Neutral.

90. What’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever done? That’s a long list. Maybe this one time I tried to John Cena (aka running jump) onto a stage. It didn’t end well.

91. I’ve never been arrested but when I “left” my dad’s it was *technically* “running away” so I was kind of in trouble with the law there for a while.

92. Yes I know how to win a fight. I’ve been in a fair few.

93. I can throw a punch so I’m gonna say yes, I’m good at hand-to-hand combat.

94. Yup, I’ve stolen stuff before.

95. No, I’ve never killed anyone.

96. Man I find a fair few of things disgusting. Tomatoes are awful for one.

97. I have a couple triggers, for lack of a better term. I hate conflict, it makes me really uncomfortable. I also hate being touched, that sets me off pretty bad. I don’t know if I have a “worst one” though.

98. I have no clue what anime character I would be, but feel free to tell me what you think.

99. I have no clue what Disney character I would be either. (I don’t think it’s accurate if I pick myself.) Once again let me know what you think.

100. Dude. Same answer as 99.

101. Same as 99. Again.

102. The only song that comes to mind that I think describes me is Hot Mess by Cobra Starships.

Ok. There you monsters. I did it. Are you happy? That took me like 3+ fucking hours to answer and type out.

-Mel (the Slytherin)

#mel #about me #about mel #omg #never again #why would you guys do this to me #asks #also yeah i need to read ask things before i'm like hell yeah #but there #done #long post #tldr #tldr: a bunch of facts about mel

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newyorkcitywater · 6 years

Text

Questing Buddies!

Also known as Questing Buddies: The Musical! or simply Chapter 4. Long ass post, so it’s under the cut.

Gaudy, CJ, and M carefully approached the concert, which is to say that they tangoed dramatically until they reached the crowd of people waving their hands in the air, jumping and screaming in front of many, many signs that said “ETHAN THE LOUD.” Yes, everyone had roses in their teeth, and no, don’t ask me where the roses are coming from. I’m just the humble storyteller.

Ethan seemed to be hyping up the crowd violently, though from what they could see, he had no idea how rowdy they were getting. “HE LOOKED AT ME! HE LOVES ME!” they heard one girl shriek, and she immediately decked the poor boy standing next to her with a chair. “HE LOVES ME, NOT YOU!”

The concert turned into what was almost all-out war within a few minutes, and Ethan had to stop singing. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop fighting! All of you!”

They ignored him. The Questing Buddies tangoed carefully through the crowd and reached Ethan, who looked like he wanted any way to get off the stage. The stage, incidentally, was far too tall to get on or off without magical intervention or stairs without suffering serious harm.

“You three are the only ones fighting, right? I need to get down here before there’s a mob or something. Do any of you have a ladder?”

CJ looked questioningly at Gaudy, but M shook her head. “Leave this to me,” she said, and leaped impossibly high into the air, landing on the stage in a perfect crouch. A shockwave dramatically rippled through the ground, and the crowd stopped their brawl. “Whoops, sorry,” she said. “I don’t know how to do it without the cartoony shockwave, but just tell them the concert’s over and we can jump down from here.”

“People! I’m sorry to do this, but I have to bring this concert to an early ending. So thank you so much, and quit fighting!” Ethan looked questioningly at M.

The crowd went back to ignoring him.

“Okay, just, I don’t know, grab onto my elbow or something and hold on tight and-” She finished her sentence in midair, screaming, “CROUCH WHEN YOU HIT THE GROUND OR SOMETHING!”

Ethan and M hit the ground, looking surprisingly badass. “There. And if you ship us, we’ll kick your teeth in!” she yelled to the crowd.

The crowd, surprisingly, did not ignore her, but stared at what they thought was a new competitor for Ethan’s hand.

“Exactly what the fuck is going on?” said Gaudy. “Don’t worry, I won’t ship you guys. We can hash out the newest member’s application form later, but we should probably speed tango away from this...mob. Take a rose, I’ll explain later.”

GAUDY

WE’RE BEING CHASED BY A MOB

WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME

THAT CAN BE SURMISED

I THINK WE SHOULD RUN

ALTHOUGH IT’S KINDA FUN

TO TANGO AWAY WITH YOU GUYS

ETHAN

I USUALLY SING

TO A NORMAL CROWD

MOBS REALLY AREN’T MY THING

BUT YOU’RE ETHAN THE LOUD!

WE REALLY SHOULD RUN

EVEN THOUGH IT’S FUN

TO TANGO AWAY WITH YOU GUYS

ALL

WE MIGHT REGRET THIS LATER

BUT THERE’S REALLY NOTHING GREATER

THAN TANGOING AWAY WITH YOU GUYS!

“Well, that was a lovely impromptu song and dance number, but we are now running for our lives and in desperate need of a plot device in real life- is that a lettuce farm?” Gaudy skidded cartoonishly to a stop at the sight of an adorable cottage with a garden full of lettuce. Add in a “screeching tires” sound and you’ve got the perfect mental image.

Someone who looked like your mental stereotype of a lettuce farmer, AKA a gay badass (we are all being completely serious, Tath is a gay badass), walked out of the cottage. “Hi, I’m Tath,” she said. “My wife and I were in there trying to figure out which lettuce seeds are the best, so- is that another mob? I’m not even going to ask at this point. Our cellar has a random secret passageway which has been there forever and serves no point, but it might work to hide in if you’re going on a quest.”

“Holy fuck, Tath, we are literally indebted to you at this point. I’d promise you my firstborn if I hadn’t already bet it,” said M. “Different story,” she added. “Not important right now.”

***

“How can cellars be cute? This is adorable!” CJ stepped back to take in the true majesty of the cellar. It was truly an adorable cellar.

“All right, all of you, go into the miscellaneous passageway, my wife and I are kind of busy and it looks like an important plot point might be up there,” said Tath. “Hurry up, I was making dinner and I don’t want it to burn.”

The ragtag band hurried into the passageway. “Bye, all of you!” called Tath’s wife. “Don’t forget to put in a good word for us if you meet the king!”

The passageway started to climb, and the walls turned from tightly packed soil to stone bricks. Stairs started to appear as well, and the passageway morphed into a spiral staircase inside a tower.

“Well. I wasn’t expecting to be running around inside a castle today, but you never know.” Gaudy looked completely fine with everything going on, sort of floating up the stairs. They were the only one who wasn’t complaining quietly about how many stairs there were.

GAUDY

THIS IS A CASTLE

I THINK?

PRETTY SURE IT’S A CASTLE

I GUESS

I THINK IT MIGHT BE A STRONGHOLD

OR A DUNGEON, THAT’S THE BEST

GAUDY

BUT I’M NINETY PERCENT SURE IT’S A CASTLE

I GUESS

BOTH

IT MIGHT BE A DUNGEON,

IT MIGHT BE A TRAP

BOTH OF OUR IDEAS

MIGHT BE FULL OF CRAP

BUT SINCE WE’RE GOING

ON A QUEST

I THINK IT’S A CASTLE

IT’S PROBABLY A CASTLE

PRETTY SURE THAT IT’S A CASTLE

I GUESS

“This tower is freakishly high, so how about some backstory?” CJ looked at Ethan. “You need to explain the mob, and you-” they looked at M- “need to explain where and why you bet your firstborn. You don’t even have kids!”

Ethan sighed. “This is gonna be a long story.”

*gratuitous flashback noise and animation*

“I was kind of wandering around pointlessly, wishing I could do something and go on a cool quest, when I ran into this lady in a huge pink poofy ball gown. You know the kind, the one any toddler would sell their soul to Satan for? She was wearing that. And a beauty-queen sash. She was smiling and doing that wave thing that made it look like she was washing a window, and when I went up to her, she was all-” Ethan pouted and did a bad impression of the lady’s voice- “’Oh, hello, I didn’t see you there.’ And then she went 'You’re cute. I’m gonna give you a gift.’ And she bopped me on the head with this wand that was like a pink sparkly star on a stick and told me that people would always be fans of my music and love me when I sang. Hard not to feel like she cursed me, yanno?”

“Well, that cleared that up,” said CJ. “Now you, M. “

M shrugged. “What can I say? Being an evil wizard’s apprentice means you bet a lot. You bet a lot of shit, and sometimes you bet your firstborn. Joke’s on them, I’m never having kids. If I do they’ll be dragons I’ve adopted or something.”

“Good life choices,” said Gaudy. “Wait-there are windows, and while I appreciate the natural light as much, if not more, than you people, the fact that they’re there is worrying.”

“Is now the time to dramatically point and scream ‘A DOOR!’ Because I’m all ready and drama waits for nobody,” CJ said.

“Alright, sure, point and yell, Christine,” said Gaudy. CJ looked at them. “What? It’s fitting! This is the musical!”

CJ pointed to the door and yelled, “A DOOR!” They bowed. Gaudy, M, and Ethan applauded.

“Let’s go through it. I mean, if anyone has any other plans...” Luckily, there were no other plans, and CJ’s plan, also known as the only plan possible, was carried out. Unluckily, this door opened onto a corridor, and down that corridor was a direct route to the throne room.

“What do we do?” CJ hissed. “If I know this king, he’s a flaming asshole and I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life.”

The luckless group tripped, as one, over a hilariously long carpet and quadruple somersaulted into the throne room in a move that was the textbook version of “undignified.”

The king and his queen lolled mockingly on their thrones, looking like incredibly disgusted magazine models with a long and tiring day of nothing to do. “Hmph.” It was nothing but a noise of boredom and distaste. The king emitted it masterfully, being that boredom and distaste were his day jobs.

The queen looked down her long nose at the ragtag band. “Desmond, dear, don’t you think they’re a little too raggedy to be in our throne room? I mean, we just got a new carpet and it’s already mussed...”

Her voice trailed off, only to return complete with a dusting of sugar. The queen had seen CJ.

“Oh, sweetie darling honeypumpkin, how we’ve missed you! Come up here and give Mummy a hug.” The queen smiled. She had lipstick on her teeth, a bright red color that added to the ambiance.

“Hey, I remember you!” Ethan was staring at the queen. “Weren’t you the one in a fairy princess dress with a...” He stopped talking. It had sunk in. This woman was CJ’s mother.

“Thank you ever so kindly,” said CJ, icicles hanging on every word. It suddenly felt much colder in the throne room. “But even though I was welcomed so warmly, I feel the need to alert my sister to my return. Thank you, Mother, for allowing me to leave.” With a final jab of sarcasm, they swept off, head held high, probably to their room.

“Ah,” said the king. “That leaves you raggedy bunch. Drusie, what do you want to do with them?” From far above there was a loud thunking noise, followed by a shriek. CJ was locked in.

“Oh, I’m quite sure I haven’t got a clue,” muttered the queen. “How about--THIS!” She pressed a button on the underside of her throne arm, and a pit opened in the floor. The ragtag band plummeted through into the dungeons. “Oh, Dezzy baby, we are brilliant! Those little shits are bribes in human form!”

DRUSILLA

OH DEZZY, DARLING, WE’RE BRILLIANT

YOU’RE THE KING OF THE HILL

I’M THE CREAM OF THE CROP

DESMOND

SILLA, SWEETIE, WE’RE KILLIN’ IT

WE’RE LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER

WITH NONE OF THE DROP

BOTH

YEAH, BABY, WE’RE GONNA BE ON TOP

TRAPPED IN THIS TOWER

AND HOUR BY HOUR

GETTING MORE ANNOYED

SINGING LOUDER AND LOUDER

GLASS’LL CRUMBLE TO POWDER

AND THIS DAMN WINDOW WILL BE DESTROYED

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

(The window breaks. CJ squeezes through and begins to rappel down the castle wall.)

DRUSILLA

DEZZY, LET’S GO FOR A SPIN

DESMOND

IT SUITS THE SITUATION WE’RE IN

BOTH

YEAH, BABY

YEAH, HONEY

OOOOOH YEAH

WE ARE GONNA BE ON TOP!

To be continued.

#questing buddies #the musical episode #are ya ready kids #welcome a new member of our badass ragtag band #loooooong post #long post #go follow @whydotheycallmedarren #aka the new member #go follow @biggestgaudiestpatronuses too #and @hi-def-doritos #and if you want more of the gay lettuce farmer #go follow @wholockiandalek

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kittykat-creations · 7 years

Text

We Meet Again

Ok, so a bit of editing to the Two Different Worlds AU. Bella isn’t an angel, and is instead a human. At age ten, the person in charge of Heaven, God, decides that Fiddleford would be better suited as a guardian angel. So Fidds gets assigned to Bella and they become friends. The way that Bella and Stan meet is when they’re 16 and Bella’s friends are messing around and summon a demon, who ends up being Stan.

Friendly reminder that I’m not religious and just making stuff up for an AU, regarding God and Satan and angels and demons and all that. I’m just seeing what would fit best.

-----

“Come on Sixer, you gotta meet her!”

“Stanley, you know it’s forbidden to get familiar with humans,” Ford hissed. “If you go back, you’ll get in a lot of trouble!”

“Ugh, Ford, when are you gonna learn?” Stan sighed. “When there’s no enforcers around, nothing is forbidden!”

“That’s what you say, but I’d rather not risk my freedom just to visit some... human,” Ford responded, folding his arms. His tail waved back and forth in irritation.

“But she’s not just ‘some’ human,” Stan argued. “She’s... she’s amazing!” He smiled and ran a hand through his hair. “She’s funny, and pretty, and really sweet-”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she sounds just like an angel,” Ford said. He wouldn’t admit it, but he nearly smiled at seeing his brother act like a lovesick puppy.

“She is not!” Stan snapped. “She is way better than some dumb angel. Those guys are all boring sticks-in-the-mud. She’s actually fun.”

“Alright, alright,” Ford chuckled. “If it really means that much to you, I suppose we could sneak out to meet her. But only for an hour. I’m still unsure about this.”

“Yes! You’re awesome, Sixer!” Stan grinned, playfully ruffling his twin’s hair. Ford laughed, shoving away from Stan.

-----

“So ya finally trust me enough ta see yer new boyfrien’?” Fiddleford asked teasingly.

“Fidds, it’s not that I didn’t trust you,” Bella sighed, running a comb through the angel’s hair. “It’s that I... wasn’t completely sure I trusted him.”

“Hey, it ain’t like he could see me anyways,” Fiddleford chuckled. “Only the person can see their guardian angel.”

“Haha, yeah...” Bella laughed nervously and trailed off. Just then, a large circle of fire sprouted up in the middle of the room. Fiddleford screamed and jumped, backing up to the wall. Once the fire cleared, Stan and Ford stood where it had been.

“How’s that for an entrance?” Stan grinned, his trident clutched in one hand.

“Stan!” Bella exclaimed happily, running forward and jumping up to hug him around the neck. The demon laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Ooh, I missed you!”

“Hey, I missed you, too,” Stan agreed, planting a kiss on the girl’s forehead. Bella felt the spot heat up for a second before cooling down. She giggled.

“Wait a dern secon’ here,” Fiddleford spoke up, standing up away from the wall, “yer boyfriend is a demon?!”

“Your friend is an angel?” Stan asked in surprise.

“Uh... surprise?” Bella answered sheepishly. Stan growled, stepping forward and brandishing his trident threateningly. Fiddleford glared, stepping forward as well to face Stan.

“You shouldn’ be here, demon,” Fiddleford snarled.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Stan snapped.

“Ah can tell ya whatever Ah want!” Fiddleford argued, poking Stan’s chest. “I’m Bella’s guardian angel, an’ if you don’ leave her alone, I’ll-”

“You’ll what, huh?” Stan asked angrily. “Go crying to your boss? Yeah, because that’s all angels know how ta do. Be a bunch of tattletails.”

“I ain’t a tattletail!” Fiddleford shouted. “It’s called doin’ my job and listenin’ to the rules! More than Ah can say fer demons!”

As the two began to argue, Bella and Ford stood silently off to the side. The former glanced up at Ford, who was nervously watching the other two.

“So... you’re Stan’s brother?” Bella asked. Ford looked down at her.

“Yeah, I am,” he nodded. “And you must be his... bifriend?”

“Yup!” Bella grinned. “Hehe, I came up with that. It’s because I’m bigender.”

“Oh,” Ford said. His attention turned back to the argument, which only seemed to be getting more heated. “I feel like we should intervene.”

“Yeah, ok,” Bella agreed. She walked over and stood between Stan and Fiddleford. “HEY, SHUT UP!”

Both of them became quiet at the yell, looking down in surprise at Bella. The small girl huffed, folding her arms.

“Ok listen, I understand that demons and angels probably don’t get along,” she began, “but while you’re here, can you just not argue? Please?”

“But Bella, he’s a demon!” Fiddleford said, glaring over at Stan. “They’re crafty. He’s prob’ly only lookin’ fer a way to get ya to sell yer soul.”

“What?! I would never do that!” Stan cried.

“Fidds, we’ve been hanging out for almost a year,” Bella informed. “If he wanted my soul or whatever, he would have done it already.”

“Mm... fine,” Fiddleford grumbled, folding his arms. “But Ah still don’ trust him.”

“I can take care of myself sometimes, you know,” Bella rolled her eyes.

“Well... now that we’ve sort of taken care of that, perhaps we could introduce ourselves?” Ford suggested, moving to stand beside his twin. He cleared his throat and held out a six-fingered hand. “My name is Stanford Pines, and this is my brother Stanley.”

“My name is Bella, but I also go by Bello,” Bella introduced.

“Ah’m Fiddleford McGucket,” the angel answered, a hint of frustration on his face as he reached out to shake Ford’s hand. The look of anger was quickly replaced with surprise as he looked down at the demon’s hand. Ford sighed and held up his hand, showing off the six claw-tipped fingers. “Ya’ve got polydactyly.”

“Yes, I-” Ford stopped mid-sentence as a thought ran through his mind. “Wait, your name is Fiddleford?”

“Yes,” Fiddleford raised an eyebrow.

“I-I met you before!” Ford exclaimed. “When we were kids, I met you in Purgatory!”

Fiddleford gasped, both hands reaching up to cover his mouth.

“Yer that lil’ demon?” He asked. “Golly, Ah felt awful fer the longest time after meetin’ ya!”

“Wait, Ford, you know this guy?” Stan asked in shock.

“...remember when I told you about that one time I snuck into Purgatory?” Ford asked. “Well, the name of the angel I met was Fiddleford.”

“An’ that’s me,” Fiddleford agreed.

“You never told me about that,” Bella frowned at her guardian angel.

“Well it happened a’fore we met,” Fiddleford explained. “Ah never thought’a tellin’ ya.”

“Well, now that we all know each other,” Stan spoke up, “how about we all go out somewhere or something? This room is feeling kinda small.”

“You go out in public?!” Ford asked.

“Well duh, we don’t stay in my room all the time,” Bella answered as though it was obvious. “That would be weird.”

“Don’t worry, I always wear a disguise,” Stan assured.

#gravity falls #two different worlds au #stanley pines #stanford pines #fiddleford mcgucket #bella mccreary #bellan #demon stan #demon ford #angel fiddleford

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