#i never thought we would... splash sperm together one day!

[plogieplogie]

I have the best friend in the world who sent me this for Christmas 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

#kg #keroro gunso #sgt frog #nsft #kindaaaa #i never thought we would... splash sperm together one day!

[narrators-journal]

Step one

Hoo boy, this one is potentially dark as fuck, so remember that this is entirely fantasy. Do not think this is healthy or copy anything here.

Cw: heavy heavy nsfw. Drugging, b+e, somnophilia, Illumi gets possessive lowkey

previous part: here

First part: here

Illumi used the month or so you were closed off and mourning to try and dig up as much intimate info on you as he could, from childhood fears to how many times you've had sex. With this knowledge added to his collection, the last thing he needed to do was set up a cover story, than introduce himself. If this fails, she can be killed, or trained He told himself as he read through your social media on his laptop, ignoring a nagging sense of dread he hadn't felt since his first solo kill as a child.

The cover story was easy enough, murdering the people across the street from your home was boringly simple, setting them up to die of heart attacks and a break in, waiting out the investigation, nothing new to the assassin. By the time things had cleared up there, you were beginning to cheer up anyway, which was good, it'd be easier for Illumi to court you if you weren't verging into suicidal territory. Finally, the day came when he moved into the home, much to the teary refusal of his mother.       "I'm not leaving permanently," Illumi assured her the day he moved out, taking only a duffel bag of clothing with him, the issue was that his mother was holding him in a hug and refusing to let go. "You were so excited for me to be courting a woman, you can't sob and cling to me when I need to move out to properly 'woo' her." His voice was level and uninterested, as always, though on the inside he did feel a bit of reluctance at leaving, which was why he guessed he didn't use a lot of force to remove his mother's iron grip.        "I know, but why can't you go about the process from home?" she blubbered, Illumi's father standing a bit behind her sighing at her antics,              "To build up proper propinquity I need to be near her a lot, I cannot do that from here while also doing my work. Besides, it is relatively frowned upon for a 24 year old to still be living with their parents, so I need to have my own place for...the later portion." Sadly, even logic didn't calm Kikyo down, so Silva was forced to pry her from Illumi and simply wished the long haired assassin well as the man left. To atone for the sin of leaving the Zoldyck estate, Illumi was required to call his mother at least once a day, but other than that, he was free to live across the street from you when he wasn't working. This set up proved to be very useful, as it allowed him to linger on the street without suspicion, watch you from his windows, and it gave him more opportunities to run into you 'organically', despite having your meager outing schedule memorized already, and more. The day he moved in properly, Illumi was helping a trio of butlers move furniture in, trying to seem as normal as possible since he could see you sitting on your porch, getting some fresh air while also watching your new neighbor curiously. It's good to see her out at least, vitamin D is necessary for good health. he thought as he moved the last bit of strategically aged furniture into the home, letting the butlers return home after that. If he was to blend in, he'd have to slum it for a while after all. Though, he could put up with that as long as you stayed as friendly as you were the first night he was there. It was pretty late, the dark hours cooling the relatively warm air of the late spring day when he heard a knock at the door, but when he opened, there you were, your (h/l), (h/c) hair pulled away from your face, in a (f/c) jacket and some of your nicer casual clothes,       "Hello! I'm sorry if you were asleep or anything, but I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood!" you chirped, your kind smile making something weird happen to his heart, but he hid that, not wanting to scare you by saying he was having a heart attack,      "Ah, hello miss. No, I was just trying to cook some dinner, not to worry." he assured, watching you relax a bit before tilting his head, "I'm sorry if this is curt, but have we met?" he asked, your (e/c) eyes shining with confusion for a moment before realization washed that away,       "Oh! you're the man I bumped into at that party!" he mimicked your stunned reaction, chatting a bit before you heard angry sizzling from his kitchen, the sound earning a concerned look from you. "Um?? Should you step outside?" you suggested, and when he looked in your eyes again, he saw that undeserved concern in those captivating orbs. That weird feeling returned in response, but Illumi repressed it once again,        "No, I believe that's just my food," he said nonchalantly, watching your expression change to panic, it was so intriguing to see how expressive you were compared to his family,        "Maybe you should go check on it??" you urged gently, the panicked look in your eyes compelling the empathy-less assassin to do as you said, so he nodded simply and returned to the pot of boiling water that was leaking with angry bubbles splashing water onto the burner. He simply turned the stove off and returned to you once the water had settled again. You were still there, nervously peeking in to try and check on him he assumed.        "Why didn't you come in?" He asked, making you jump,        "I-I wasn't invited, it's rude to just walk in." you pointed out, and he mentally kicked himself for forgetting that fact briefly. Though he verbally just sighed in defeat, running a hand through his long, silky hair.         "Actually, would it be uncouth of me to maybe ask if you would help me with something?" He asked, and when you shook your head he reluctantly continued, "You see, my family is rather well off, so I've...never learned to cook. Would you maybe teach me how to make the food?" He asked, and he liked to think it was the power of his natural charm that made you agree, not the pitiful mask of helplessness he put on. Either way though, you were now inside of his new home. Could this be considered a date? Illumi mused as he followed your instructions to bring the water to a boil again and put the store-bought noodles into the rolling liquid, People cook together as a date, so this should count as a date. He decided after a moment of watching you prepare food, following your orders until the two of you had managed to make a rather respectable looking dinner. He cemented this occassion's 'date' status by handing you a plate,          "It's fair that since you helped make it, you eat some of it with me." he pointed out when you went to refuse his offering. After that, the two of you sat in his living room in silence, neither making the first move to speak. For Illumi, the silence was comfortable, it gave him time to judge the weird thing that had happened with his insides. He wasn't dead, and the warm, fluttery sensation was fading, so it didn't seem to be fatal. I should get the family doctor to check me over. he decided as he ate, finally glancing over at you while you sat on the opposite end of the couch. Judging by the tension in your limbs and how you radiated discomfort, you were about to bolt like a scared rabbit. That's not good...

        "so." He hummed, hoping to ease your anxiety with some conversation, plus it'd give him a chance to dig into you, "why were you at that party?" There was a stretch of silence, your mood falling again for a moment, but than you seemed to put on a fake smile for him, how sweet.         "I'm a bit shy, so my friend decided to try and hook me up with a man she worked with." you explained, shrugging it off, "He ended up ditching me for some friends when we got there, so I didn't ask for a second date." Well of course your date went badly, you're supposed to be with me, not some stranger. a dark part of him thought, than stopped. What brought that up? I haven't even decided if she's really worth 'dating'. He reminded himself, but that possessive thought still lingered a bit more than he would've liked. However, that issue was for later, right now he wanted to see just how much information he could get you to willingly tell him.       "So, are you looking for a partner?" he asked, and he just caught a bit of a flustered epression on your (s/c) face at his question. He was beginning to enjoy seeing such an expression.        "R-right now? Um..not actively, b-but I'm not against a relationship." you said, not looking at him as you spoke, your body language screaming how flustered you were. After that, the two of you simply chatted, Illumi enjoying when you fully relaxed and opened up a bit more, but what felt like only a short time later, you were thanking him for the food and leaving for your own home. The tall man was polite back, but for the third time that night, his torso felt odd inside. He wanted to ask you to stay, maybe offer you a drink and slip a sedative into it, that way you'd stay the night, but no, he refrained from stopping you. If you drug her, she'll wake up tomorrow and be terrified of you. Maybe even call the cops. He told himself as he shut his door behind you. However, the thoughts were already there, making him groan. What is going on with me?! I'm losing control of myself so easily now. he thought, rubbing his face as if that would wipe away the bubbling waves of dark lust that were once again flooding his mind with images of you naked beneath him, calling out his name, mixing with the urge to control that he usually kept a close eye on. This is absolutely pathetic. She's not even that attractive! He chided himself, glaring down at the growing bulge in his pants as if it were to blame for his urges. Which, to a point was true, but either way it still twitched, demanding to be tended to. However, he refused to masturbate again. His sperm was precious, and while he could produce quite enough to impregnate a woman despite such a shameful act, he didn't like wasting his DNA. So, for a bit, he tried to cook up ways to relieve himself, unable to shake the lustful thoughts of you. Could he wait until tomorrow and lure you over again? No, that'd leave a horrid impression of him in your mind. Maybe he could sneak some aphrodisiacs into your food and than offer to help? No, that'd take too long, and he didn't know how long he could control his lust. Around eleven or so, Illumi finally came up with a satisfactory method. So, he turned his lights off and slipped out into the cool night to slither across the street and into your dark home. It was late enough that he knew you were asleep, so he was free to make his way in and towards your bedroom, What he wasn't expecting though, was to find you sleeping on your couch, your blanket fallen to the floor, revealing your pajamas to him. The sight only seemed to throw gasoline on the fire of neglected needs within him.       "now this is simply inappropriate," he breathed, shaking his head at your baggy t-shirt and (random color) panties, "(y/n), you should know better. Such outfits should be saved for your husband." He kept his voice low, making sure not to wake you as he chided you and his lightless eyes zeroed in on the bit of panty he could see with the way your shirt was ridden up ever so slightly. teasingly. He sighed, this would make his plan easier anyway. So, he just pulled out a needle of sedative and carefully moved you so that he could get access to your neck without waking you, sticking the needle in and injecting you with the fast acting drug. Within a few moments you were certain to stir for nothing less than a natural disaster, so he was free to do whatever he wished. The assassin's body burned with lust, his cock throbbing within his pants while he moved your thighs apart, revealing more of your panties. You weren't much to look at, he'd seen prettier women, but the feeling of your perfectly malleable thigh in his hand, seeing you so complacent and welcoming for him while his hormones were so out of control, you could've passed as a goddess in that moment. He wasted no time in removing your underwear, leaving your shirt and bra on so it'd be less work afterwards, revealing your most intimate parts to him with no arguments. It gave him such a rush to see you so obediently laying on your back, your legs apart and welcoming. your vulnerability was like a form of foreplay for him, but when he ran a slender finger up your slit and realized just how dry you were, it ruined his fantasy. Though, not enough to deter him. Instead of stopping, Illumi simply pushed your shirt up with your bra, using one hand to massage your breast while he kissed down your sternum and up the soft mound of flesh. His free hand slipped between the two of you, rubbing slow circles around your clit until breathy whines and moans slipped from your lips. Carefully, he teased your nipple between his fingers, simultaneously moving up to your throat until he found the spot that made you gasp and whine in your sleep again. The only downside was despite how badly he wanted to mark you, he couldn't. He had to wait until he securely had you, until then he couldn't leave any visual evidence of his actions. So, he nibbled and kissed the spot, but didn't bite too roughly and claim you. He simply teased you, rubbing your clit, massaging your breasts or hip, and pressing hungry kisses to your unresponsive lips until he could dip his fingers down into your warmth and pull them back coated with a healthy amount of slick. With you properly aroused, he eagerly freed his throbbing dick from his pants, giving himself a few pumps before running the head up and down your slit, making you hum at the stimulation. God, how he relished how your face twitched and you groaned at the feeling of him grabbing one of your legs with one of his hands before pushing into you. God the tight warmth alone could've made him cum, but he once again held himself back. He'd gone this far, he wasn't about to squander the opportunity to indulge himself by not savoring it. No, He simply grabbed your hips once fully inside and began moving, pretty soon slapping his hips into yours roughly. He might regret being so aggressive later, when it undoubtedly left you sore, or at the very least left bruises and scratches, but right now he just enjoyed the way your pussy squeezed around him and your breasts bounced with each rough thrust into your womb. He let out a few soft noises after a bit when the waves of pleasure began fogging over his mind again. The combination of your breathy moans, your warmth squeezing around him, begging to be filled, and the possessive urge to claim you continuously driving him forward, encouraging him to go until the blinding waves of pleasure erupted and he stilled himself so that every drop of cum was safely inside of your womb. It took him longer than usual to regain his composure afterwards, but when he did he swiftly pulled out, pulling his pants up and slipping your panties back onto you before too much of his essence escaped. He grimaced at the marks of his nails on your (s/c) flesh, though hopefully they would fade before you noticed. Right now though, his main priority was to get out of your home, and leave as little evidence as possible, save for his cum. He refused to feel sorry for filling his obviously needy wife with perfectly good semen. That's right. his wife. The phrase seemed to fit perfectly.

#Illumi x reader #yandere illumi x reader #Illumi zoldyck #x reader #hxh #hunter x hunter #yandere #part 6 #fanfiction #quotev #not sfw

[chickensarentcheap]

Never Gonna Be Alone- Chapter 58

Title: Scared.

Warnings: angst, profanity

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @tragiclyhip, @miss-smutty, @ocfairygodmother, @ocappreciation​

Link on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860450/chapters/80937475

She finds him in the kitchen. Standing in front of the coffee bar in a pair of Under Armour sweats that sit impossibly low on his hips and his hair and the back of his shirt visibly dampened by sweat. She’d been stirred awake by the profound need to vomit; morning sickness hitting her hard and quick and finding her throwing off the comforter and rushing for the washroom. For forty minutes she’d stayed there; on her knees in front of the toilet with her cheek resting on the cold porcelain of the lid. It had taken longer than normal for the nausea to pass; accompanied by profuse sweating and the horrific dizziness. And she’d just begun to return to normal and had been in the process of splashing cold water on her face and brushing her teeth when she’d heard the front door click open. When he hadn’t come upstairs, she’d gone in search of him, shoving her feet into a pair of slippers and one of his hoodies.

“What are you doing up so early?” Tyler inquires, when she wraps her arms around him from behind. “ Not like you to be up before the kids.”

“Woke up to an empty bed. Thought I’d come down and check on you.” Her hands slid around to his stomach and slip up to his chest; lingering briefly on broad, hard muscle before retreating to his hips once more. She rests her forehead against his back; enjoying his familiar scent -mixed with the slight tinge of perspiration- that clings to the slightly dampened cotton of his t-shirt. “You worked out? Already?”

“And went for a run.”

“Must have been pretty damn early when you got up.”

“Still dark out. Tried to fall back asleep and when that wasn’t happening, decided to get up and start the day. I didn’t want to wake you up; all the tossing and turning I was doing.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Her hands move to his shoulders, gently kneading the muscles as she presses a kiss to the middle of his back. “ You’ve been getting up crazy early every day for a week now. Don’t you think maybe you’re going a little too hard? With the heavy lifting and the running and…”

“My body feels fine. Couple extra aches and pains and some stiffness, but nothing major. Nothing I can’t handle. I’ve felt worse, that’s for sure.”

“I just don’t want you pushing it, okay? Don’t go past what your body will let you do. I know sometimes you get really into it and you’re in a zone and it’s really hard to stop, but…”

“Didn’t we talk about this?” He turns to face her; leaning back against the countertop as the coffee brews and the kettle boils. “A week and a bit ago? About me not pushing the limits? I said I’d listen to my body. And I am.”

“I just worry. I know what you can be like; when you really start going hardcore with things. I mean, I get that you feel like you need to be bigger…”

“I WANT to be bigger. I don’t feel I need to be. We talked about this.”

“I know, and I’m just reminding you that your skills and your ability to keep us safe? They are not tied to how big you are. I just want you to realize that, okay? Before you totally start busting your ass because you think one has everything to do with the other. It doesn’t. At all. And I don’t want you forcing yourself to get bigger and hurting yourself and…”

“Esme…” He smooths her hair away from her cheeks; looping wayward strands behind her ears and then cradling her face in her palms. “...I’m fine. I’m just trying to maintain. That’s it. You know how hard that’s been; trying to keep weight and muscle on. Ever since...well, you know.”

“I do know. It’s been a challenge; getting back to where you were and staying that way. And I am totally onboard with that; you maintaining how you are right now. Because it’s the healthiest you’ve been. In years. I just don’t want you feeling that you need to be different. Bigger. I don’t want you thinking I want you to be that way.”

“I don’t think that. I’ve never thought that. I know you don’t give a shit; big, small, muscles, no muscles. I know none of that matters to you.”

“It’s not that it doesn’t matter. It does, in a way. Because I want you to be the healthiest you can be. But I love you ALL ways. Your size means nothing to me.”

A grin plays on his lips. “We’re talking over all size and not below the waist, yeah? Because I seem to recall you saying...many times...how much you enjoy the fact I have a huge…”

“You just HAD to go there. You just had to turn around and make this weird. You damn well know what I was talking about.”

“I make it weird when I start to get uncomfortable. You should know that by now. It’s only been twelve years and…” he consults his watch. “...one month…”

“And thirteen days,” she finishes. “What? I keep track too, you know. You’re not the only sappy one in this house. And why DO you get uncomfortable? Shouldn’t YOU know by now that you don’t have a reason to get like that? That I’m the last person you should be that way with.”

“I do know all that.” Pushing his hands through her hair, he allows the dark, silky stresses to slip between his fingers; palms skimming over her shoulders and down her upper arms before sliding around to the small of her back. “ Just sometimes I can’t help it. Guess it’s just years of being that way with other people. Sometimes the past comes back. No matter how far I feel I’ve gotten away from it. What’s the saying? Old habits die hard?”

“I was thinking more ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” she teases, then gives a yelp when he brings his palms down on her ass cheeks in a ringing slap. “You know, that shorter hair? How blond it looks? Totally hides all your gray. My old man doesn’t look so old anymore.”

“Fuck you, Esme.”

“I wish you would actually. The one morning I wake up really wanting it? You’re nowhere around. Sadly, I had to take matters into my own hands.”

“You didn’t.”

“I so did. I’m sorry, husband. I didn’t have a choice. You have no idea just how badly I wanted it. And when I woke up and you weren’t there…”

“You’re kidding me right now. You’re not being serious.”

“One hundred percent serious.” She gives a dramatic pout. “Sorry.”

“Why didn’t you wait until I got home?”

“I didn’t know how long you were going to be! Some things can’t wait. A pregnant woman’s hormones? They can’t wait. Sorry.”

“You’re bullshitting me right now.”

“There’s two things I for sure never lie about. Sex and orgasms. And seeing as you couldn’t give me the sex…”

“I could have given it to you when I got home. But you couldn’t wait, so…”

“I think you’re underestimating just how bad my hormones are right now. I know it’s been a while, but do you remember how bad things got? During my first trimester with Brookie and Takota?”

“Just with them? You were brutal with all of them. And with them and Millie, I couldn’t really do much about it because Dhaka kicked the ever loving shit out of me. Twice.”

“You held your own. You found ways. But let’s put it this way; combine all my pregnancies together and that’s pretty much how out of control my hormones are.”

A slow, sly grin spreads across his face. “Really? ‘Cause when you’re not pregnant, you’re pretty out there with how much you need and want. I’m older now. I don’t know if I can keep up with pregnant lady hormones.”

“Why do you think I have a whole drawer of sex toys? Take some of the strain and pressure off you.”

His eyes narrow. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

She remains stone faced for several seconds, then bursts into giggles when he scowls and attempts to step away. “I’m kidding! I’m totally kidding, babe. Totally. No!” She wraps both arms around his torso when he tries to side step her. “You’re not going anywhere! I was joking! I didn’t mean to insult you. Or your penis.”

“You hurt it’s feelings.”

“Want me to apologize to it?”

“Do you want to apologize to it?”

“Would it offend your penis even further if I said ‘not right because I’d probably puke all over it’?”

“He acknowledges that as a perfectly acceptable reason. But he also says once you’re feeling better…”

“Once it passes, I promise I’ll be very nice to him. But right now? Right now I need the penis owner to hug me.”

“I don’t know…” he chides, and wraps both arms around her much smaller, slighter frame. “...I guess I could do that.”

“You DO love me.” She perches herself on the top of his feet and curls her arms around his neck. “Although the way I’m feeling? It doesn’t feel like love.”

A palm moves to the back of her head, cradling it to his chest. “I take it you really didn’t wake up horny?”

“No. I didn’t. I woke up to puke. A lot.”

“I’m sorry, Me. That you’re feeling like shit. And for being the reason you ARE feeling that way.”

“You should be sorry. You and your penis and your talented sperm. And your stupid handsome face and your stupid blue eyes and your stupid voice. All the stupid things I can’t say no to.”

“Can’t? Or don’t want to?”

“Both,” she admits, and then giggles against him when his hand slips from the small of her back and travels down to gently squeeze an ass cheek. “I’ve never been able to say ‘no’ to you. It’s a blessing AND a curse, I swear.”

“Well, for what it’s worth…” he drops a kiss on the top of her head, then crooks a finger under her chin and tilts her face up towards him. “...I’m sorry you’re feeling like shit. And that it’s my fault you are.”

“Technically, it’s both our faults. I can’t hold you solely responsible. And I guess it’s a small price to pay; for bringing beautiful little humans into the world. If you ask me, we’re doing society a favour by sharing our genes. We make really cute kids.”

“I can’t argue with that. But is it really a surprise? We’re not exactly hideous.”

“Speak for yourself. You’re the looker in the family.”

He frowns. “I don’t know what the hell you’re seeing when you’re looking in the mirror, because when I look at you? Hideous does not come to me. You are definitely the hot one.”

“I think you underestimate just how good looking you actually are.”

“I think you overestimate how ugly you are. Wait….that did NOT sound right.”

“No, it didn’t,” Esme laughs. “But I know what you were trying to say. I think.”

“Let’s just agree that we make awesome looking kids and that it’s scientifically impossible for us to have ugly ones.”

“I can definitely agree to that.”

“And I am sorry.” Once more cradling her face in his hands, he presses a soft, brief to her lips, followed by one to her forehead. “That you’re feeling like crap. Any better now?”

“A little. I don’t feel like I should be taking up permanent residence in front of the toilet. And I meant what I said; about not caring about what you look like. And how your size has no correlation with the skills you have and the things you can do. You do know that, right?”

“I’m trying. To force myself to realize that.”

“Just be careful,” Esme pleads, as she runs her fingernails along his forearms as his hands linger against her cheeks. “Don’t over do. I don’t want you hurting yourself. I’m not nagging. I’m just worried.”

“Nothing to be worried about,” he assures her, and kisses her a final time. Much deeper and longer; fingers locking together at the base of her neck as she stands on her tiptoes and leans her body into his. “I’m fine,” he promises, and pecks the end of her nose. “If I feel like I’m pushing things, I’ll stop. I’ll even give you permission to give me a kick in the ass if you think I’m going too hard. Sound good?”

“Sounds good,” she agrees, and presses a kiss to the underside of his chin before retreating to the island and sliding onto one of the barstools.

“I’ll make you some of that tea. Maybe that’ll help. Think you can handle eating something?”

“Maybe. What are you going to make me in my delicate condition?” Reaching for the Ipad that sits on the countertop, she slides it towards her; pressing the home button to bring the screen to life and immediately checking her email.

“I’m not a rookie. I know what you can and can’t handle.”

“We’re not talking about sex, Tyler. We’re talking about feeding a horrifically nauseous pregnant woman.”

Grinning, he places a steaming mug of tea down in front of her and then drops a kiss on the top of her head. “And you say my mind is always in the gutter.”

“We don’t have seven kids and one on the way for no reason. Save to say your mind isn’t the only dirty thing you possess. Anything interesting happen while you were on your run? Anything exciting?”

“If you’re asking if I saw Mark, no, I didn’t. And it’s probably a good thing because I definitely would have killed him.”

“Not that he doesn’t deserve it, but I’m glad you didn’t see him either. Last thing I need is you in jail for the rest of your natural born life. I don’t quite feel comfortable bringing my children into that kind of environment.”

“You could always come visit me alone,” he chides, and drops a mixture of crackers onto a plate. “You know, for conjugal visits.”

“How romantic. Getting railed with a guard right outside the door. What’s more of a violation of privacy? What ruins the mood more? That or knowing one of your seven children could come running in any second?”

“For the record…” he opens the fridge and pulls out a block of marble cheese and a bag of grapes. “...my mood is never ruined.”

“That’s because when you’re in the sex zone, everything else ceases to exist. You practically forget you even have kids.”

“My dick forgets I have kids. He’s running the show. I don’t get a say in it. My brain shuts down. I just go along for the ride. And boy, can give you an awesome ride.”

Rolling her eyes, she pushes the ipad away and reaches for her mug; clasping it in both hands and blowing a stream of steady air onto it hopes of cooling it down. She watches him as she sips cautiously at her drink; noticing the way the muscles in his arms twist and bugle with even the simplest of movements. The veins more pronounced and the sleeves of his tee -once fitting with room to spare- now tight around his biceps and through the chest and shoulders. Within the past two weeks alone he’s stepped up the frequency and intensity of his workouts; no rest days and the weights much heavier and two hours in the gym now partnered with an hour run along the river. And while she admires not only the view and his consistency and commitment, it also worries her; the fallacy that his skills and his ability to protect his family are directly tied into his size. Mark’s appearance has only fed into things; turning Tyler’s need to be bigger and stronger into near obsession.

“You know…” she carefully broaches the topic once again. “....you’re built exactly like you were when we first met. And that was a good look. A VERY good look.”

“I put on that five pounds, And more. Nine in total. Doesn’t sound like much, but…” he slides the plate of food in front of her. A mixture of various crackers and cheeses and a handful of grapes; the lone breakfast she could tolerate and stomach during the beginnings of all her pregnancies. Until medication became the only thing that helped with keeping any water and liquid down. “...it’ll take a lot to maintain it.”

“Just have to keep eating like you have been,” she says, and selects a piece of cheese from the plate, nibbling at it as he moves to the coffee bar and begins preparing a mug. “You’re up to what? Five meals a day? High calorie, high protein?”

“Probably go up to seven soon. Maybe add in a few smoothies throughout the day.”

“That’s a lot, don’t you think? That’s what you were during back in Colorado; after we got back together. And you went into that whole lumberjack stage.”

“For the record, you called it that. Not me. And you didn’t complain about it at the time. You said you liked that look; me being thicker.”

“I did. I DID like it. It was a change. But things are different now.. YOU’RE different. You’ve been through a lot since then. Your BODY’S been through a lot. Not to mention you’re older. That was a long time ago. Millie wasn’t even in school full time yet.”

“So because I’m older it means I have to just let myself go? Get fat and out of shape? A dad bod? You should know that’s not me; I’m not the type to just around on my ass and not do anything. I’ve always kept in shape. Even when I was a fucking mess and living in that shack.”

“I know it’s important to you; keeping in shape and being healthy. And I’d never stop you from doing it and I’m not suggesting you shouldn’t stay with it. . I just…” she drums her fingernails against the countertop. “...it sounds like you’re going into a bulk.”

“Maybe a little bit of one,” he says with a shrug, and slides into the stool across from her; coffee mug raised to his lips as he regards her. “Why? Is that a problem?”

“No. It’s not a problem. It’s just…” Sighing, she takes a bite out of one of the crackers. “...I am trying so hard here. To navigate this as carefully as possible. Because I don’t want you thinking I’m nagging or attacking or…”

“Just say what you want to say. What are you worried about? I’m not going to lose my shit. We can have a conversation without that happening, can’t we??

“Usually. Eight times out of ten.”

“Just say what you want to say, Me. I won’t get pissed. Just say it.”

“I’m worried about you. I’m worried that Mark showing up is somehow putting it into your head that you need to be different. That you need to be bigger and stronger and…”

“I do need to be stronger.”

“You’re already strong. More muscles does not equal strength. You know that better than anyone. You’re the gym lover, right? You know more about this stuff than I do. Muscle mass does not equal physical power. Look how strong you were in Dhaka. The first time around. You were built EXACTLY like you are now. Look at the things you were able to do. Especially in that apartment. You were there all by yourself and you had to take down all those guys on your own.”

“I was armed.”

“Until you weren’t. Then you had to rely on your physicality, right? You didn’t have a choice. You had to trust in your skills and the strength you had. And it worked out really well, don’t you think? You got rid of all of them and got Ovi out of there.”

“That was all skill, Esme. Not strength.”

“It was a mix of BOTH. You were strong, Tyler. You were insanely strong. I saw what you were capable of. And you were built exactly the same way you are now. So if you didn’t need to be bigger and bulkier then…”

“I was also younger than. Almost thirteen years younger.”

“And at the risk of pissing you off, you were also an alcoholic and addicted to Oxy-Contin. Wouldn’t those have hampered you? Made you even a little bit weaker? You’re clean and sober now. That’s all out of your system. So if you’re just as big now as you were then and you don’t have addiction issues now….”

“I’m almost fifty fucking years old. You really think I’d stand a chance in that apartment now?”

“Yeah. I do. I do think you’d stand a chance. Probably even a better chance now. Because your mind isn’t all fucked up on booze and pain meds.”

“No it’s just fucked up in other ways.”

“That has nothing to do with this. You had PTSD then, you just didn’t realize it. Or maybe you did and you were just ignoring it and self medicating yourself. Numbing everything. Tyler, you already had the problems you do now. They were already there, babe. It just took a lot of extra fucking trauma to bring them out. Do you really think you didn’t have PTSD already?”

“I’ve never thought about it.”

“You’ve always had it. You’ve had it since you were a kid. Just no one ever gave a shit to get you help for it. And then Austin got sick and…”

“We’re not talking about that. We’re not talking about him.”

“I’m just saying other things happened. And they kept piling up and piling up and it took that fucking prick Nathan to really bring everything out. Those things were always there. It just took something to bring them to the surface.”

“Yeah, it only took getting shot in the back and getting fucking tortured. Hell of a price to pay, don’t you think? To make everything come out? Some fucking psycho slicing my face open and sticking his fingers in the bullet hole in my back. Threatening to rape my wife and my little girl and kill my entire family.”

She frowns. “What are you talking about? You’ve never mentioned that before. Threatening to…”

“I remember, Esme. I remember what happened in that storage locker. Everything he did, everything he said. Everything he told me he’d do to you and the kids.”

“When did this happen? When did you start remembering all that?”

“Couple months ago.”

“A couple months?! And you’re just telling me now? Why didn’t you say something? Why would you keep that from me?”

“I didn’t want you to know. The details. I figured it was just better to keep it to myself. What good does it do? You knowing that stuff? Why should we both be fucked up because of him?”

“What? You think I wasn’t already fucked up? You think seeing you that way didn’t screw me up? I was the one that was there. In the hospital. I was the one that was there when you got out of surgery and I was the one that got you the help you needed and busted my ass to get you sent back home where you’d be more comfortable and you’d heal quicker. That was all me. You don’t think that didn’t fuck me up?”

“I’m sorry it did. I’m sorry…”

“No,” she holds her hand up in a plea for silence. “ I don’t want you to be sorry because you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t deserve what happened to you. It wasn’t your fault Nathan was a total fucking sociopath. But I WAS there, Tyler. I was going through it with you. Who HAS been going through it with you. And you should have told me. That you were remembering. You owed me that.”

“I don’t owe you shit, Esme.”

“Really? So everything I did and everything I went through and all the times I fought for you meant absolutely nothing? Is that what you’re saying? That that meant fuck all to you?”

“I never said that. That’s NOT what I’m saying.”

“It’s been twelve years and in some ways you’ve changed, and in some ways you’re still the same. One day you’re a totally different person and the next you’re right back to who you were. When we first met. You go right back to being that guy that put all those walls up to keep everyone out. It’s like two steps forward and a whole bunch of steps back. Why? Why do you do this? Why do you go back to being HIM?”

“Because that’s who I am. That’s who I’ve always been. You’ve just been so caught up trying to make me something I wasn’t to make yourself feel better. Had to change me right? So you could live with yourself for making the decisions you did when it came to me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I didn’t change you. You wanted to change. I didn’t force you. I didn’t demand that you change for me. I didn’t hold a gun to your head and make you become a family man. I didn’t…”

“You were pregnant with my kid. What did you want me to do? Let you walk away? Take my kid with you? Did you really think I’d let you do that?”’

“Holy fuck,” she scoffs, and pushes the mug away with enough force for tea to splash over the rim. “So this is what it took, huh? Almost thirteen years for you to finally tell the fucking truth. I asked you. After Dhaka. I asked you if it was what you wanted. If I was what you wanted. And you were so fucking convincing. I bought it. When you said it was. I actually fell for it. And in the end it WAS all just a bunch of bullshit.”

“No. It wasn’t. It wasn’t bullshit. I wanted you to stay. I wanted a life with you.”

“Because I was pregnant. Because you felt it was the right thing to do. Because you were trapped.”

“I wasn’t trapped. And it wasn’t because you were pregnant. I wanted you to stay BEFORE that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before? Why did you wait? Until I told you about Millie. Until I said I’d leave and never bother you again? Why didn’t you before that if I was what you wanted?”

“Because I almost fucking died and I was trying to heal and I was fucked up. I wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind. And maybe I was scared. Because I was feeling all the things for you. Because I’d just met you and suddenly I’m feeling shit that I’ve never felt for anyone in my entire fucking life. I went from wanting to kill myself to having something...someone...to live for. I’m sorry if I was a little fucking overwhelmed.”

“You? You were overwhelmed? I put my ass on the line on that bridge and stuck my fingers in your fucking neck! I stayed there! I stuck around and did everything I could to keep you alive! You were overwhelmed?”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have. Maybe you should have just got your ass on the helicopter and left. Like everyone else did.”

“Yeah…” she slides off the stool, and angrily shoves it against the island. “...maybe I should have. Considering you just spent the last twelve years building a life based on a FUCKING LIE!”

“That’s not what I did. That’s not true. That’s not…” he captures her by the wrist when she attempts to stomp away, fingers digging into the sensitive flesh. “...where are you going?”

“I need to be away from you. I can’t be here. In this room. With you.”

“Don’t do this. Don’t walk away. If you walk away...”

“Let go of me,” she orders, and struggles in vain to yank her hand out of his grasp. “Let go. Now.”

“I’m not letting you walk away. Not until you listen to me. Not until you…”

“I’m done listening to you. You’ve said enough, don’t you think? What do you want to do? Hurt me some more? I don’t think that’s even possible. Because what you just did….what you just said...what you just admitted to…”

“I never lied to you. Ever. Not about us. Not about you.”

“You just did! You just told me that the only reason you even had me stick around was because I was pregnant. Because you felt obligated to keep me around. Because you felt some sense of duty.”

“I never said that. That is NOT what I said.”

“I asked you!” She manages to yank her hand free, and instead of fleeing the room decides to confront him. Standing between his splayed thighs and jamming her finger into his chest as tears coarse down her face. “I asked you so many times in the past twelve years! I asked you to tell me the truth; I asked you to tell me if you only wanted me to stay because I was having Millie. How many times have I asked you that? Tell me.”

“A lot.”

“Every time you said ‘no’. You said that you asked me because you loved me and you wanted a life with me. You wanted us to be together and have a family.”

“And that’s exactly why! That’s exactly why I asked you to stay.”

“It was a fucking lie, Tyler! You said I wanted to hear. What you knew would keep me there. You never meant a fucking word of it. It was all a lie.”

“No. It wasn’t. None of that was a lie. It’s the truth. I never lied to you, Esme. Not about that. NEVER about that.”

“You just told me! You just said ‘you were pregnant with my kid, what did you want me to do?’. Those words just came out of your mouth!”

“But I didn’t mean them. I just lashed out. All I heard was you say that I haven’t changed and I was still the same and I lost it. I snapped. And unfortunately that’s what came out. But it wasn’t the truth. Everything I said to you back then….about wanting to be with you and wanting a life with you and wanting a family...THAT was the truth.”

“Twelve years. Twelve years and seven kids. And it was all built on a fucking lie.”

“No. It wasn’t. None of it was a lie. You? Us? None of that is a lie. Stop…” He once more grabs her in an attempt to keep her from leaving; fingers curling around her bicep. “...I’m not letting you walk away. Just stop.”

“Leave me alone,” she pleads. “Please. Just leave me alone. Just let me go. You need to let me go, Tyler.”

“I can’t. I can’t do that.”

“You have to. You have to let me go..”

“Esme….”

“Please,” she begs, and tries to peel his fingers away from her arm. “Please just let me go.”

He finally relents; releasing his hold on her and holding his hands up in a show of surrender. Struggling to hold back a flood of tears of his own as he watches her flee the room; heart breaking just a little bit more with every step that takes her further away from him.

******

Tyler gives her a chance to cool down. Nursing his coffee while counting down the minutes on the digital clock on the stove; time passing agonizingly slow as he fights the urge to rush upstairs and pull her into his arms and kiss her until they’re both breathless. Then drop to his knees and grovel for forgiveness. He calls Desi and asks him to come and take the kids for a couple of hours; giving very little details but letting the uncharastically frantic tone of his voice do all the talking for him. And when he finally lets himself into the master, he finds her standing at the side of their unmade bed; an open suitcase and a pile of messy clothes sitting in the midst of the rumbled and tangled sheets.

He closes the door behind him, then cautiously approaches. Resisting the urge to stand behind her and place his hands on her shoulders and instead retreated to the dresser; leaning back against it with his arms crossed over his chest and fear quickly spreading through his entire body. “What are you doing?”

Esme doesn’t look up from the task at hand. “Packing.”

“I thought you were going to leave that stuff until the night before we leave. We’ve still got four more days.”

“You’ve still got four more days. I’m leaving. Today.”

His top teeth dig painfully into his bottom lip; biting back a ‘like fuck you are’ and instead offering, “Where are you going?”

“Home. There’s seats on a flight that leaves in four hours. I’ll call Andy on the way to JFK; see if he can pick me up at the airport.”

“Andy left Australia about three hours ago. He’s flying in for the wedding, remember? Your son’s wedding.”

“Then I’ll take a cab. Or I’ll call Estelle. I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about it.”

His palms rub at his forearms, attempting to fend off the chill of dread that travels through him. “It’s kind of hard not to. You’re my wife. You’re pregnant with my kid.”

“Just let me worry about that, okay? It’s kinda my body. Not yours.”

“What the fuck is that supposed mean?”

“It means it’s my body. I’m the one carrying this baby. Not you. I’ll take care of it.”

“Take care of it as in make sure it’s okay or take care of it as in…”

She angrily tosses a pair of jeans into the suitcase. “I would NEVER do that to you. You think that little of me? That I would do something like that?”

“No. Of course not. I just…”

“Where’s the kids?”

“Desi came and got them. Took them out for breakfast.”

“How’d you convince him to do that?”

“I told him that some shit was going down and I needed to take care of it. That I needed to bust my ass and make things right.”

“I’m surprised you were so honest. What happened? Use up all your bullshit over the past twelve years? Had nothing left to give? Must have been tiring; keeping the lie up all this time.”

“Esme, stop. I never lied to you. Not about you. Not about us. Not about our life. I’ve never lied about any of that.”

“Our whole marriage has been a lie! Every year, every month, every week, every day. Even every fucking hour.”

“You can’t tell me you actually believe that.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore. It’s kind of hard to trust anything you hear after you’ve found out your entire life...or a huge part of it...has been nothing but bullshit..”

“None of it was bullshit. I didn’t mean what I said. Downstairs. I didn’t mean….”

She finally turns to face him; hands clutching a t-shirt. “Was any of it true? Any of the last twelve years?”

“It was all true. Every day. All of it. It was all true, Me.”

Giving a derisive snort, she tosses the garment into the suitcase. “Don’t call me that. Things were good when you started calling me that. Things were great, actually. And I loved it; that you had this little nickname for me. Don’t ruin it, okay? At least give me one thing to hold onto.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You got seven beautiful children out of your lie, Tyler. At least something good came out of it.”

“Okay, you know what…” He finally approaches the bed, snatching the sweater out of her hands and dropping it into the suitcase; picking the latter up and angrily tossing it into the corner of the room. He’s desperate. Frantic. Needing to make that last ditch attempt to keep everything together. He won’t survive if things fall apart; at least not mentally. Losing her means he loses his entire world; the person who taught him what love TRULY is. It’s patience and it’s acceptance and it’s sacrifice and it’s sometimes painful as hell. And it tears him up inside; the thought of his world without his entire world in it. “...you’re going to listen to me. Whether you want to or not. Because I need you to hear what I’m saying. Esme…” he lays his hands on her shoulders, squeezing as hard as her body will allow him to. “Look at me. Please look at me.”

She shakes her head; chin remaining dropped to her chest.

“Please,” he begs, as his hands move to her cheeks; palms cradling her face and fingers pressing into the delicate skin as he tilts her head up towards him. “Just look at me. Don’t do this. Please don’t do this. Don’t shut me out.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He’s never heard her voice like that before; tiny and broken and lost. The hurt that he’s dealt her has struck extremely deep; the devastation and the heartbreak profound and reaching right into her very soul. Not even in the worst of times had he seen her like this; when she’d kicked him out and they’d spent six months walking on pins and needles around each other while desperately wanting to fix things and not knowing where - or how- to begin. She’s cried many times in front of him; tears of joy and anger and frustration and fear and horrendous grief. And he’s always been able to comfort her and ease some of the pain; his arms able to give her the solace and the escape that she both craved and needed. But it’s far beyond that; no lingering embrace or stroking of hair or whisperings of love will do the trick this time. It’s him that’s caused this; the shimmer of tears in her eyes and the trembling of her body and the look of pure devastation and loss that registers on her face.

“I don’t know either,” he admits. “And I don’t even know what to say. I just know I need you to listen to me. To whatever I DO say. Can you do that? I need you to do that. Please, Esme. Just listen, okay?”

She offers a feeble nod.

“I love you. I have always loved you.”

“No. Don’t you say that. Don’t make it worse. Don’t screw things up even more by keeping up the lie. If there was ever a time for you to be honest with me…”

“I AM being honest with you. I have never...EVER...lied about this. About you. About us. About our life.”

“I asked you, Tyler. More than once. Even after you brought up getting married. I asked you if it was because you actually did want me, or if you felt obligated to be with me. Because of Millie. I ASKED you.”

“And I told you the truth. I didn’t want to get married because of the baby. If there’d never been a baby...had you not gotten pregnant...I STILL would have wanted to be with you. I wanted to get married because I loved you. In a way I’d never loved anyone. That I didn’t even think was possible.”

“So you’re saying Millie had nothing to do with it? The fact I was having your daughter?"

“I mean, yeah, she did. In a way. I wanted us to be a family. I wanted it to be you and me and our kid. Because I knew we could make something of it. Don’t you think it was some kind of sign? If Dhaka couldn’t kill us, maybe things were meant to work out.”

“So if I hadn’t been pregnant…”

“I would have still wanted to marry you. I didn’t ask you to come to Australia because of Millie. I asked you because I didn’t want to lose you. I’d just found you. I wasn’t going to just let you walk away like nothing ever happened.”

“I gave up everything for you,” she snarls. “My entire life as I knew it. I gave it all up. And for what? For you to lie to me for twelve years? To base our entire life together on bullshit?”

“That’s not what I did. I didn’t lie to you. Our life hasn’t been bullshit. What I said downstairs? I didn’t mean it. THAT was bullshit.”

“Then why did you say it? If you didn’t mean it…”

“Because I lashed out. Like I’ve always done. Because all I heard was how I’m still the same person. I’m still the guy I was when we first met. The enormous alcoholic, drug addicted fuck up.”

“That’s not what I meant. I don’t think you’re that person at all. You haven’t been him in a long time. I didn’t mean…”

“You think what I said hurt you? How do you think that made me feel? I have busted my ass to give you a life. A GOOD life. I changed everything about myself. For you. And yeah, I needed to change; I needed to get my shit together and clean myself up. For once and for all. No more slip ups, no more going back to bad habits, no more running. And that’s what I’ve been doing for the past five years! I have done whatever I could to be the man you needed. That you DESERVE.”

“You are that man. I didn’t mean to say you’re not. That’s not what I meant; that you’re the same guy you were.”

“But that’s what I heard. You weren’t the only to give things up, Esme. You’re not the only one who had to adjust to a whole new life. I know the way I was living was pretty shit, but that’s all I knew. The job, the booze, the pills, hating myself, wallowing in my own fucking self pity. Do you think it was easy for me to just stop being that way? To just give up everything I knew for something else? Something totally different?”

“No. I know it wasn’t easy. I was there. With you. We went through all of it together. We helped each other adjust. I mean, we started living together and we barely knew one another. We were having a baby yet we were still learning about each other and trying to make a life together.”

“And that was pretty fucking scary wasn’t it. Jumping into all that and not even really knowing one another.”

She nods in agreement.

“ Everything said it shouldn’t work. That it WOULDN’T work. We were both pretty messed up. Some ways it was the same, some it was different. All the cards were stacked against us. All of them. And we somehow made it...US...work.”

“We had to put the effort in,” she reasons.

“And it was hard, wasn’t it. Nothing was easy about it. We pissed each other off, we disagreed on a lot of things, we had to get used to living with another person. It was damn hard. Wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” She finally reaches out to touch him; running her fingertips along the neckline of his t-shirt; intently focused on a single loose thread in an effort to keep her emotions in check. And he immediately feels the change in the room; the pronounced shift from having to beg and plead to save his life to having to do damage control. The tension in her body releasing; shoulders relaxed and the tears in her eyes not as prominent and the way she finds it easier to look at him.

“Do you really think if I was lying that I would have put that much work into things? That I would have given everything up for you? For US? Do you honestly think I wouldn’t have run? Like I’d run from everything else before?”

“I never thought of it that way,” she admits.

“You came into my life and turned my whole world upside down. Second I saw you on my porch, I knew that was it. That things were going to change and that there wasn’t a goddamn thing I could do to stop it from happening. And you know what? I didn’t want to. Stop it. And that alone? That should have been enough to send me running.”

“Why didn’t it? Why didn’t you run?”

“I didn’t want to.”

“It would have been so easy. All you would have had to do was tell Nik you’d take the job and then not even show up. Although, I guess that would have made no sense; you would have lost out on a pretty big pay day.”

“Honestly, the money wasn’t even the first thing on my mind. It was there, but it wasn’t the most important thing. Which is weird, considering that’s all that job ever really meant to me. The pay out.”

“So why did you show up? If the money wasn’t the most important thing…”

“I wanted to see you again. I guess I wasn’t that annoyed about it after all; Nik bringing someone there.”

She manages a small smile.

“You were different. You didn’t give a shit about where I lived or what it looked like. You didn’t seem to care about the booze all over the place and the pain meds right out in the open. You didn’t seem to notice I was huge fucking mess.”

“You weren’t a mess. You were hurt. You were holding onto a lot of things. A lot of pain. I could see it; in your eyes. I’ve always said that; you say more with your eyes than you do with your mouth. I knew it when you looked at me; when we were talking after Nik went outside. I knew that people didn’t really know you. That they didn’t really ‘see’ you. That they never took the chance or the time to.”

“You did. You took the chance.”

“I guess I realized you were different too. From everyone that I’d met while on the job. You weren’t like the rest of them. You weren’t loud and obnoxious and bragging about your kills the second I met you. I couldn’t handle it; guys proud of all the lives they’ve taken and not shy about sharing the gruesome details. They GLOATED about that stuff. And the worst part? They thought I’d be impressed by it. That I’d somehow find it attractive and throw myself at their feet.”

“Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t bring out my kill sheet right after I met you,” he chides.

“You’ve never been like that. You’ve never taken pride in what you’ve had to do. You’ve never killed because you wanted to. You killed because you had to. I guess I got that impression right away; you were quiet and soft spoken and like I said, your eyes. They gave a lot away. About who you really were.”

“And that didn’t scare you?”

“There was nothing to be scared of. You may have had your demons, but you were pretty good at keeping them contained. I knew they weren’t something I had to be worried about. You weren’t going to hurt me. You didn’t have it in you.”

“And you could tell all that just by my eyes?”

She shrugs. “You have very expressive eyes. Why did you show up, Tyler? In Fitzroy Crossing. If it wasn’t really the money…”

“Like I said, I wanted to see you again. Girls like you just show up on my doorstep. Figured that was a sign; someone like you just walking into my place like you owned it. And when you didn’t pay attention to the disaster it or I was…”

“You weren’t a disaster. If you were, I never would have gone along with Nik’s plan. I would have ran long before you did, believe me. Had it been anyone else? Any other merc? I wouldn’t have taken that job. You were different, Tyler. In a lot of ways. And especially didn’t hurt that you looked like you did.”

“You would have been really disappointed if Gaspar had still been in the game. Nik called him first.”

“I for sure would have ran. That...HIM...that would have been a ‘no’ from me. I guess I’m lucky. That you even came home that day.”

“I actually briefly considered killing myself. About half an hour before. Something told me not to.”

“I’m glad. That it did. Because if it hadn't…” she looks away, tears once again brimming in her eyes. “...we wouldn’t have any of this. This life, Our kids. Us. We wouldn’t even have existed. And I don’t know about you, but I’m glad we do.”

Smiling, he loops strands of hair behind her ear. “So am I.”

She turns her tear filled eyes back towards him. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I never meant to hurt you. When I said what I did, about you going back to who you were, I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I didn’t mean to say you WERE him. I just mean that you always go back to certain things. Like hiding stuff from me. Because you think you should protect me from it.”

“I should have told you. About Nathan. Remembering the things that happened. I don’t know why I do; revert back to keeping things from you. I guess I am trying to protect you. I guess I figured one of us was already fucked up because of what happened, why should the other one be?”

“But it’s not protecting me. When you hide stuff. It does this. It causes problems. Way more problems than what would exist if you just told me. After everything I’ve been through in the past twelve years, there’s pretty much nothing I CAN’T handle. And I was there too. Five years ago. The aftermath of it. I was the one there with you. And believe me, I’m just as fucked up as you are. Seeing you like that? Seeing you in Dhaka seven years BEFORE that? You have no idea what it’s done to me. The things that are STILL in my head. I can’t get them out of there. And I need them gone. I need them out.”

Laying a hand on the back of her head, he pulls her into his embrace. An arm wrapped tightly around her waist and her fingers tangled in her hair as she buries her face in his chest. “I’m sorry, Me. I am so fucking sorry. That you had to see what you did. That you had to do those things.”

“It’s not your fault,” she sobs. “It’s never been your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. You couldn’t have stopped what happened. I chose to stay. I couldn’t leave you there, Tyler. I couldn’t. I wasn’t leaving you on that bridge.

He attempts to gently shush her; palm moving to the middle of her back to rub in slow, soothing circles. “It’s okay. Everything’s alright now. YOU’RE alright.”

She turns her face up towards him, tears spilling down her cheeks as her entire body violently trembles. Voice terrified and frantic. “I’m not alright. At all. I am so far alright. And I need to be. I need to be alright.”

“You will be,” he assures her, and uses gentle fingertips to clear away the droplets glistening on her skin. “I’ll make sure of it. You’ll be okay. Right now, I need you to calm down. I need you to calm down and just breathe.”

“I can’t…”

“Yes you can. And you need to. For that baby. You need to settle down and breathe and…”

“I need help. I need help, Tyler. I need to get rid of this. This Dhaka stuff. In my head. I want it gone. You need to help me. Please help me.”

“I will. You know I will. As soon as we get home, I’ll call Doctor Klein and I’ll get you to see him, okay?”

She nods.

“It’s going to be okay. YOU’RE going to be okay.”

“I can’t breathe. I can’t…”

“You need to calm down. You’re thisclose to a panic attack and you need to settle down. Just breathe.”

“I CAN’T! I can’t breathe. It hurts...my chest…”

Muttering a string of profanities, he forces her to sit on the edge of the bed and then clasps her face in his hands. “Listen to me, you’re having a panic attack. I need to try and breathe, baby. Just breathe. I’m going to get you some meds, okay? You’ll be alright.”

“It really hurts...I can’t...take a breath.”

“I’ll take care of you.” He presses a kiss to her sweat slicked brow. “I’ll be right back. Just close your eyes and try to breathe. Can you do that?”

She nods.

Hurrying into the ensuite bath, he tosses open the medicine cabinet and begins violently rummaging through the contents. Various items tumbling off shelves and landing with a clatter in the sink; his own hands trembling and his chest feeling tight and uncomfortable. The blame and the guilt already screaming in his ears; silently berating himself for being the cause of not only her pain and her anger, but kick starting her ‘fight or flight’ response. Had he never said the things he had...had he never lashed out and even insinuated that he’d kept her around solely because she’d been pregnant with Millie...if he’d only…

He clutches the edge of the sink with enough force to crack his knuckles and turn his fingers white. And he drops his chin to his chest and briefly closes his eyes; forcing himself to push all of his own fears and worries and guilt and regret out of his mind. Needing to hold it together for her; be the shoulder to cry and the steadfast support and ‘the rock’ that she needs him to be. And when the sobbing and the gasping for air in the next room becomes even louder and incessant, he locates the bottle of anti-anxiety meds and asthma inhaler -prescribed to her for such events- and rushes back into the bedroom.

“It’s alright now,” he attempts to comfort her, and drops to a knee in front of her and shakes the inhaler before popping the cap off. ��Here….take this...take it…”

Her hand covers his as he holds the device to her lips and she inhales shakily when he administers the dose.

“You need to take some meds, okay?” His hands tremble as he fights to open the bottle. “Just a couple. They’ll help. They work quick.”

“Something’s wrong.”

“Yeah, you're having an anxiety attack. You’ll be okay. Just…”

“No!” she interjects, and when she grabs his arm it’s with enough force that her nails cut into his flesh. “Something’s wrong. With the baby.”

The invisible vice tightens around his lungs. “What?”

“Something’s wrong, Tyler.” Her face contorts with pain, her other hand clutching at her stomach. “Something’s really wrong. With the baby.”

“Okay we’ll get you to the hospital and we’ll get you checked out. We’ll get you looked and the baby looked at…”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish the sentence; both of her palms now covering her stomach as she cries out in agony.

#Tyler Rake #Tyler Rake fan fiction #Extraction fan fiction #Tyler Rake fan fic #Extraction fan fic #Chris Hemsworth #Tyler Rake x OFC #Chris Hemsworth Extraction #Tyler and Esme series

[loveafterthefact]

Love After the Fact Chapter 67: Home

Keith returns to his first home, and brings Lance to meet his father. But first, a tiny bit of fluff to soften(?) the blow

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode includes the themes of loss and grief, which be distressing to some readers. Please take care of yourselves <3<3<3

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Keith’s home is simple, four domes, one visibly newer than the others, and one with a new roof. The stove and fireplace have also been redone quite recently. There's also a little garden plot now, overgrown with unkempt flowering plants, lovely in its little patch of wilderness.

“Ah, Mom added a washroom. Thank fuck. Lake’s cold as shit for a bath… It was nice of her to fix the place up. I’d always assumed I’d come back out here when I finished my service.”

“I never really thought about your aspirations had you stayed,” Lance ponders.

“Mnh. Nothing special. Do my time in the military, maybe find a mate, come back here for a while, then travel the stars. Try to find Earth, where my name comes from. But I’m doing something different, and that’s okay.”

“Is it?”

“Being mated to you, raising our kits, and looking after the Altean Empire? It’s not what I imagined, but I like it well enough. I’m happy.” And, because Lance doesn’t quite look convinced, “Really, Lance. Our life together makes me happy. Come on. I’ll show you around. We’ll unpack, and then we can swim in the lake, and you can see the waterfall.”

Lance watches Keith carefully, unsure of how he’ll react now that he’s home. They carry their things inside, watching the breeze roll red earth over the red stone floor. The main room is simple: a small fireplace with a narrow chimney, a knotted rug, a pair of chairs, a stool. Draped over the newer-looking of the two chairs -the other looks rather weathered- is a thin, threadbare cloth blanket, sun-bleached red. Keith smiles, picking it up.

“This was my blanket when I was kit. I couldn’t sleep without it. I left it here when I went with Shiro. I thought it might get taken away… I wonder if we could use it for something.”

“What, like for a baby?” At Keith’s nod, Lance continues. “It looks pretty thin, but maybe Pidge could do something with it. They act callous about it, but they actually really like kids, and not as science experiments. Not exclusively, anyway. It’s cute that you’re thinking about that stuff already.”

“It’s not like we’ll have a lot of time to devote to that stuff once we get home. We’ve delegated pretty much all of our duties for now, but that won’t last long. I have to think about while I have time.”

“Well don’t think about it alone. I’m right here. I already told you: I’m not going to be like the ol’ sperm donor back home.”

“Ugh.” Keith rolls his eyes, turning to open the cellar by the table. “I don’t want to look, think, or hear about your sperm donor ever again. He will never be left alone with our kits.”

“Good idea. Given the chance, he’ll gift them weapons and tell them they’ll take a life before they’re twenty.” Lance sighs. “You are going to let him see our kits, right?”

“Of course! He’s their grandfather! If he wants to see them, and can behave himself, then I want him to. Under supervision. My mother on the other hand…” Keith frowns, stands, brushes earth from his clothes.

“What?”

“Nevermind. Just more family drama. We have enough already.” Keith huffs. “Come on. I want to go swimming.”

“Can’t say no to that!” Lance chirps, skipping after his spouse. He doesn’t believe it’s ‘just family drama’ at all, but he’ll let Keith tell him in his own time. Just like he'll let the young man stall doing what he actually wants to do.

So instead of pressing his stressed spouse, Lance serves to distract him, swimming with him, basking in the waning sun, shoving his head under the water, getting into splash fights, and not acting at all like the prince he is. Which is fine, because they’re alone, and this is a very short respite before their lives get even more complicated. Taking time to 'mess around' in a small alcove behind a waterfall doesn’t hurt either.

Later, settling back against the rock face to watch Keith float in lazy circles, he finds himself wishing, for the very first time in his life, that he weren’t who he is, and for only the millionth time that he could make every last one of Keith’s days exactly like this one.

Keith swam up to the ledge Lance was sitting on, fitting in between his legs. “You okay?”

“Mhm. Just watching.”

“Ah. See anything you like?” Keith rests his cheek against the inside of Lance’s leg.

“Many things… You’re being very cute.”

“Still riding the high of being mated to you. It’ll wear off in a few quintants.” Keith kisses the bare skin at the inside of his thigh, smirking when Lance jolts.

“Just in time for your season. Brat.”

“Yeah. I can’t seem to catch a break, can I?”

“You know we can change that if you want. And I’ll make it as easy for you as I can.” Lance’s stomach growls audibly, making Keith laugh, nuzzling against Lance’s leg, more sweet than sexy. They’ve been apart, physically, most of the day. He could probably do with some physical affection. The platonic kind.

Lance has caught on to just how important that contact is to Galra. When not working or in uniform, they’re a comparatively clingy species.

“Hungry?” Keith teases when Lance’s stomach growls again.

“I’ve been hungry since before we even got here!” Lance laughs, brushing dripping clumps of hair out of Keith’s face.

“You could have said something. We could have eaten already.”

“Yeah, well. I had better things to do. Like watching my husband have some fun for once.”

“Oh, come on, I have lots of-” Keith frowns. “You never call me your husband. Not unless you have to.”

“Yes, well.” Lance gazes at his husband, eyes soft. “It never really felt like you were. And you think gendering everything is stupid, so…”

“It’s fine.” Keith swims around, hauling himself up to sit beside his mate, cuddling up against his side, tail serving as an extra limb to hold him close. “I mean, if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather call you my mate than anything else. That’s what actually means something to me. That's the word I choose for my life partner. And you should call me whatever means something to you. Whatever that is. Even if that’s just ‘my contracted roommate’.”

Lance laughs. “That’s… incredibly sweet. Sweeter than I expected, honestly.”

“What were you expecting?”

“I’m not sure. Perhaps a lecture on the arbitrary constructs of sex and gender?”

“Tempting.” Keith laces their hands together, nuzzling against his pointed ear. He takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly. “But I have something I need to do. I've stalled long enough. Will you come with me?”

“Of course.” If Keith doesn't want to go alone, Lance won't allow him to.

After grabbing a small bag from the den, Keith leads him through the last varga of light before sunset, weaving through trees like he still knows every root beneath his bare feet. BleepBloop eventually finds and joins them on their walk, presumably well-rested after sleeping the entire way there. The small primate remains mostly in the trees, leaping through the branches above, chittering and screeching at Keith to join him.

“We used to use the trees when we were out here,” Keith explains. “It tended to be safer than the ground. And most Alteans don’t tend to look up.”

“They really don’t. To be fair, it's unusual for fully-grown Galra to be hiding in trees. They don't exactly blend in.” The two laugh.

It fades quickly, when they stop at the edge of a ravine, Keith looking down. Without a word, t he Galra begins slipping down the side of the ravine, toward the water at the bottom. He moves with sure, practiced grace, aided further by familiarity with his surroundings, hyper aware of any changes. Lance is not so fortunate, slipping and sliding down the narrow ledges.

At one point, he loses his balance, falling back with a gasp. Fortunately, Keith manages to grab his arm, keeping him from falling to creek twenty dashes below. “You alright?”

“Fine. Just… struggling.” Lance does his best time hide how shaken he is. He can't imagine tiny, undersized Little Keith making this descent.

“Watch my feet. Put yours exactly where I put mine.”

With Keith moving slower, he’s more able to move safely down the side of the ravine. “This is much better. Thank you.”

“Sorry, I didn’t think about it before.” Keith settles his feet into the sandy bottom. “I’ll help you back up… We should have done this earlier. It’ll be dark pretty soon.”

“You weren't ready, earlier. Don't worry. I can make light for us if need be.”

Keith’s not really listening, Lance can tell. Tail swaying, ears pricked, the Galra stares at a pile of rocks, roughly the length of a grown, male Galra, and about two dashes high.

“Is that-”

“Yeah. I was only six, so I couldn’t exactly move him. The rocks kept scavengers off of him. It’s how we’d protect kills if we weren’t ready to clean them.” Keith wades through the shallow creek, ears drooped. “Some of his smaller bones have probably washed away. The rest will too, sooner or later.”

“I’m sorry, beloved.”

“It’s fine. He’d be okay with that. My dad… He loved it out here, feeling like a part of something natural, something alive and thriving, all while minding its own business. This is where he belonged. Becoming a part of it is what he would have wanted anyway. It was me that wasn’t ready.”

Lance has never really thought before about life without his parents. Sure, he’s never had his mother, but he’s grown up with two fathers. Even before Alfor officially remarried when Lance was seven, Coran was his parent. Lance has only ever called him ‘daddy’, and later ‘dad’.

Thinking about it now, Lance can’t imagine losing either of them. Sure, he doesn’t typically get along with Alfor, but Alfor is his father, and the king. He’s an extremely important figure in Lance’s life. And Coran…

Coran, with his permissive attitude and his terrible advice and weird anecdotes and random facts and always being there to soften the blow when Lance screws up- Losing either of them would be devastating. It’s a terrible thing to think about, and it’s Keith’s reality.

So when Keith says he wasn’t ready to let go, Lance says, “I wouldn’t be, either. I don’t know that I ever could be.”

But he'd be ready to be Akira in a heartbeat.

Keith doesn’t respond, very quiet as he finds a bit of dry sand. He pulls a clay bowl, the inside caked in ash, from his bag, pours in the rest of the bag’s contents. A feather. A few different stones. A glass bottle filled with several layers of different colored sediments, which he opens and pours into the bowl. Herbs. Another, smaller bottle of a fragrant oil, which is also poured out.

From his belt, Keith removes a pair of stones, striking them together until he creates a spark. Sitting cross-legged in the wet sand, Keith stares at the low-burning flames. He only has until the flames die before Akira's spirit is finally sent on. Krolia got to convene, and now it's his turn. After this, the gods will take his father away, and nothing but bones will be left.

It's part of the reason he was stalling. This is a final goodbye, and that's always a hard thing.

“Hi, Dad. I kept my promise. I’ve come home…” Keith sighs, looking up at the sky as his eyes immediately start to sting. Lance sits right behind him, rests his cheek on Keith’s shoulder. “But, uh… It’s not really home anymore. I’ve been gone a long time, and- I think it’s okay, don’t you? It’s okay for this to be my sometimes home instead Home home, right? I mean- Fuck, I’m bad at this.”

Lance’s arm curls around his waist from behind, gentle and comforting, just enough for him to know he’s there. “Just talk, beloved. That’s all you have to do.”

“What I’m saying is… You did it. You protected me, and- I survived, because of you. And now, I get to live.” Keith rubs tears into his fur, sniffling. He still really, really misses his dad. Every day, he feels that empty space where Akira used to be. “I have a new home, and a good mate, and we’ll have kits, and a good life, and I hate that you had to die to give me that -

"And it's fine. Everything will be fine. I'll rule Altea with Lance, and help Lotor honor your wishes for Daibazaal, and I'll be a good uncle for his kits, and I'll be a good father, and I'll help keep the peace and you don't have to worry, okay? I'll be just fine. Better than fine, even.

“And that's fine. Really! I just- I just wish you were here. More than anything, I wish you were still here. I miss you so much..." Keith practically falls against Lance, still heartborken. "There are so many things I'll never get to see. I'll never get to see you and Mom together. I'll never get to see you with Lance, or our kits. I'll never get to see you proud of me, and everything that I'm working for. And I know that you are, but I’ll never get to hear you say it and it sucks.”

Keith takes a deep breath. The offering flame is already fading, and with it, his time to convene. “I’m sorry you died, but I’m glad that I’m still here, and I’m grateful to you for that.” The last of the flames gutter out. “I love you and I miss you, Dad. And I’ll see you again. I'll tell you everything you missed.”

They’re left in the dark, Lance wrapping around him, holding him tight.

“Do you- Was it good enough?” Keith croaks, rubbing at his eyes.

“It was perfect, baby. It’s not a speech. It sounded just like you, and that’s good.”

“He was my whole world,” Keith whispers, clutching BleepBloop as the concerned primate climbs into his lap. “And then he was gone.”

“I know, beloved. I know.” Lance rocks them gently. “Are you ready to go back?”

“Can we- Can we stay here for a little bit? Please?”

“However long you want.”

Lance lifts his hands, forming a few tiny werelights to hover above them, pale, gentle light to keep the dark at bay. It’s a good change from being trapped alone in the dark, just Keith and BleepBloop. Now, there’s him, his mate, his pet, and the imprint of his father’s life and legacy. Beyond this little circle, there’s friends and family. A purpose. A home. A future.

A good life, all because of the thing that he lost.

That one, precious, irreplaceable thing.

#LoveAftertheFact #LAtF #klance #galtean au #altean lance #galra keith #adashi #altean adam #galra shiro #voltron legendary defender #vld

[sadboyayeron]

THE ONLY VALID MORIYAMA Nikoshi Doe

I came up with this Idea of Kevin having to raise Rikos son who’s name I decide would be Nikoshi Doe aka Niko

Enjoy

So If you Read “Tapping on my Chamber door” 

You know Nikoshi’s mother, Naima Dixon was born in Jamaica but came to the states at a young age after her mom past away.  She lived in the Bronx with her Aunt. She had tight curls aften in box breads or corn cornrows and dark skin with light brown eyes. She was 5’8.  Had a muscular build from all the years of track and had a scholarship to run at Eager Allen University. She was soon to have a spot on the olympic team for long jump, 100, 200 and 400 meters. She was then pregnant with Nikoshi after her and Riko started there little hook up.  The knew of each other but they first met in class.  She noticed Riko looking at her.

“Like what you see.”  I was trying to catch him off guard but he didn’t even look surprise.  But then he smiled.  Something sharp that left me feeling tingly, similar to how I feel before racing.  

“Not to bad, no.”  He chuckled, looked me up and down before he landed back on my eyes, “Want to sit.”

He left me in a trance and I took a seat next to him and sat my books in front of me.  I tucked some braids behind my ear and looked at him again, he was looking back with a smug smile on his face.  

At first I was thinking Nikoshi was Rikos frozen sperm and his mother was forced by Rikos uncle to have him BUT I decide that Riko died before he knew about Naima being pregnant She found out she was pregnant and went to Riko’s uncle for help and he said to give him the kid and she could get her scholarship Back.  So she agreed naming him “Nico” but sadly she died while giving birth from bleeding out. Tesuji doesn’t use that name and changes it to ‘Nikoshi’ stripping him of any last name (Doe) putting the kid into the system in the same place she grow up in Bronx. Ichirou is informed of Nikoshi ten years later after having his Uncle killed. Who then informs kevin.

Nikoshi is from the Bronx has a accent when he speaks. He knows Spanish because of the amount of Dominican and Puerto Rican foster parents he’s had.  Kinda understands broken english two because one of his foster brothers was from Jamaica which is cool because he knows he’s half Jamaican and some type of asian. He wears beat up high top jordan 1s baggy ripped jeans and long sleeves with a baggy jacket. He plays soccer because the system put him on a team and he’s very fast. He didn’t have much clothes but his best ones are the uniforms and he’s fine with that. He also plays street basketball and baseball with some kids in the area.

Kevin has to take Nikoshi in, according to Ichirou. Bringing Neil and Andrew with him. Ichirou just sent him a picture a kid and he was confused until he got that call that explained everything. He doesn’t need to explain who the kid is because you can clearly tell from the picture. Though the kid has milk cholclate skin, and curly hair that falls around his head in a fro.

When he frist sees Nico he has a scrape scab on his cheek, bruises on his wrist and purple knuckles. His ears a surprisingly pierced.

They find out Nikoshi Doe goes by Niko, he likes chocolate and cafe con leche (coffee), he likes shoes, he likes the color green, he uses a lot of slang and sometimes uses broken english and spanglish words, he’s quite but hyper and doesn’t know how to say still, asks why a lot, he hates math and likes to read, he loves listening to music it’s his safe place, he was diagnosed with ADHD/ADD and takes a pill in the morning and after noon on school days, he doesn’t like the way the pills make him feel, he likes Bee, Bee suspects Niko my be Borderline but it’s hard to tell, Kevin explains Riko was too.  When they go to pick up Nikoshi they are informed of his diagnoses. 

“So Kevin Day, It is very nice to meet you my husband loves watching you guys play Exy,” She smiled at them and then opened a drawer in her desk pulling out two folders.“ Now these paper were just printed out today.  One from Nikoshi’s Doctor and another from his psychologist.”  Kevin straightened his back more at that.

“Psychologist?”  She looked up at Kevin.

“Yes, a lot of children in foster care go to see a therapist.  It helps cope with abandonment and makes sure the kids are transitioning well in their new homes.”  She opened one of the folders.  “Nikoshi saw a therapist who recommended him to a psychologist.  He was diagnosed with ADHD/ADD and given medication.  He went through three different medications before he was put on Focalin XR.  His biggest issues are impulsivity, managing feelings, and energy.  There is more information in the folder with getting the prescription at a pharmacy and things to know about his behavior.  He takes Focalin every morning before school, its not needed on the weekends but to long off it isn’t the best idea.  Though if you want him off the medication, if you ever come to adopting him you can do that.”  She looked towards the other two. “Will you two be helping take care of Nikoshi.”

“Yeah we are, is there anything else we need to know.  If he needs a therapist we already got that covered.  We can send her the information.”  Neil replied with a bored tone but

“Thats good to know, he just saw the doctor last week.  He gained some weight and is now at a more healthier weight then he was before.”  She sighed. “You have to reminded him to eat, he forgets to and he doesn't ask for food.  The foster home he was just at was good with keeping a schedule, he ate, took his meds, ate at school, had a snack at home, soccer practice and then dinner.  He gets distracted and has little habits that cause him focus to much on random things.  The meds take away his hunger also, so it important that he finishes.”  She then closed both folders and stacked them together before sliding them to Kevin.  

Kevin didn’t know how to process that.  This information sounded to familiar.  He always had to remind Riko to eat something.  Riko would go days without eating, or sleeping, or even both.  It got so bad the master had to tube feed him because he past out and didn’t get back up.  Niko always got back up.  He was taken out of his thoughts when the lady, Jennifer stood.  He picked up the folders and got up following Andrew and Neil out the door.  Nikoshi was still sitting in his chair, he was singing his legs slowly and seemed fixated on his hands.

“Nikoshi, these gentlemen here are going to be your new guardians,”  Niko looked up at them.  He got a better look at there faces, now that the glasses were off he could easily recognize who the taller man was with the chess piece on his cheek bone.  He was confused o say the least.  This had to be some sick joke, or a stupid stuPID dream.  He looked at the other too, the screw that littered the red heads tan face and the man with blond hair and black studs.

“Deadass?”  He blurted out suddenly.  Fuck.  He did not mean to blurt that out.  Kevin day looked taken back by his statement and the other too snickered from slightly behind him.  The lady looked horrified.

Riko used to self harm, stop eating for days, wouldn’t sleep for days either.  His uncle had to force him into a tube feeder once because of this.  Kevin and Riko had to see a therapist and she diagnosed Riko. His uncle disregarded it and gave him sum type of pills that made Riko’s anger at himself turn down a bit but he was more depressed. He tried to commit 3 times after. Kevin made him promise not to. He flushed the pills and started to abuse others.

Kevin explains this to Neil and Andrew.  They then try to learn more about BPD.  They watch youtube videos, read articles and books on it till they had a better understanding of the disorder.  They learn about the self-destructive tendencies and suicidal gestures that are quite common with the disorder.  They all try there best to build a good support system. 

Niko has a hard time with his identity and ‘who he is’,  he tries to remember that Kevin wants him and isn't going to abandon him, he tries to keep his shifts in moods to himself but in only makes things worse.  He tends to shut down in his room more often then not.  He finds himself getting angry at little things knowing he shouldn’t but he still does.  Anger attacks aren't as bad as the empty feeling he gets sometimes.

When Niko meets all the foxes he drifts more towards Nicky for whatever reason.  He finds that he like Nickys happy vibes and feels it radiate from him.  He likes to soak in it.

Niko likes talking to Neil, he gets candy from Andrew, and he likes playing Exy with Kevin. He didn’t like school and says it’s hard for him but he still makes honor roll no problem.

During the second month of school when he first started living with Kevin he expriences racism for maybe the first time.  He didn’t have any friends, nor knew anybody.  He could tell he was different from the other kids.  They were mostly white with a splash of color here and there.  The way they talked and walked was different then how he did.  He didn’t grew up with white picket fences like they seemed to.  They dressed different too.  He didn’t like the stares he was getting from the kids in his class.

“Nice hair are you a girl?”  One of the boys said, with his little click at his back.  It was recess and Niko stuck to staying to himself drawling in his note book that Andrew gave him. 

“No.”  The boys continued to laugh.  He hated when people talked about his hair.  He didn't like his hair.  Especially when his foster mothers always tugged and pulled on it.  That wasn't just it though.  It reminded him of his foster father Mr. James.

“Such pretty hair.”

The boys crept closers and Niko started to feel closed in.  One of them pulled out scissors and two grabbed him by the shoulders.  One talked about how there dad said them Black boys need to cut there hair.  Another used a slur Niko heard a lot back in the Bronx, used it himself when with the kids in the neighborhood but he never heard it used like this.  He started to struggle but another one grabbed his face and held him down so his face fell between his knees.  He felt chuncks of hair being cut of from his head as they fell down his back and some at his feet.  

He felt his eyes water and struggled harder.  He kicked the one to his right in the shin, knowing how much it hurt from when he played soccer with out shin guards.  The kids let go of that shoulder and he swung his arm hitting another kid.  They all let go once they heard a teacher yell at them.  Niko reached for the scissors and threw them in the grass.  The boys ran away and Niko was left to look at the small and large chunks of his hair on the concrete.  He didn’t mean to bother anybody.  He didn't ask to have this type of hair.  He didn’t ask to be different.  Sometimes he missed the Bronx but then remembered his foster sister getting shot, and his doped up foster parents he used to end up with.  He didn't want to go back, but he found himself missing it sometimes.

Nobody asked abut his hair during the rest of the school day.  Not even his teacher.  Its fine he didn't want to bother anybody.  When Andrew came to pick him up he was wearing his hoodie.  Today Neil and Andrew were coming over, so was Aaron.  Aaron practically lived with him and Kevin now though.  He said nothing on the way home.  He didn't want to bother them.  He was trying his hardest not to.  

But then he got home he went straight to the bathroom and locked the door.  He didn’t hear Kevin nor Aaron calling him.  He stared in to the mirror and glared at himself.  Disgusting. You look like a girl. He ripped off his hood and he felt something in himself crack.  His hair was clearly uneven.  Some areas you couldn’t tell but he could see how his curls on his forehead were shortened compared to the pieces on the sides.  He could tell where every spot was that had been cut, like there were circles showing him where to look.  A broken sob cut through his throat.  The tears rolled down his cheeks.  He always thought he was an ugly crier.  He grabbed his hair and pulled.  He kept pulling till he felt arms wrap around his torso.  He wanted to fight who ever they were off but he couldn't.  They grabbed his hands but they couldn't pry them from his hair.  He heard someone calling his name and found a face to that voice.  He noticed another person accompanied him in the mirror.  Holding on to him.  It wasn’t his voice he heard though.  He saw the other three at the bathroom entrance but it was Aaron standing closest to him.

“Niko its okay, let go buddy.”  He didn’t know if he meant his hands or his feelings but he let them go.  He saw more pieces of hair fall through his hands but ignored it and them screamed.  Kevin turned him around and held him again.  Kevin lowered himself to his knees to let Niko cry and scream into his neck.  He rubbed his back till he calmed down.  Neil and Andrew left to prepare some ice cream and play music.  Kevin noticed the hair that fell to the floor and so did Aaron.  It didn’t match the amount that should still be connected to his head.

Niko told them what happened at school with less emotion then he displayed before.  They were all furious but chose to keep it inside to comfort Niko.  They called the school and told them what happened.  The school apologized but Kevin still wasn't letting Niko go back to that school.  He transferred Niko to another and reassured him it was okay and it was the same distance anyways.  They took Niko to the babor shop and they evened out his hair.  He got it cut some on the sides as well, allowing the back and top to be longer.  His hair showed more off his forehead and ear piercings now.  He felt more exposed, but was happy with the hair cut.

When he meets Dan she gives him oils and creams to put in his hair.  Even showed him how to wash it too, Matt helps.  He got to meet there kids.

Allison braided his hair down for when he graduated Elementary School.  She teaches how how to do other things like twist, braids, and box braids.

When he goes to college Renee helps him bleach the ends of his hair blond.

He has nightmares often. And likes to have hot chocolate to calm his nerves. He gets irritated easily, they learn. When he gets irritated he stops talking and fidgets, tapping his foot and cracking his knuckles. 

Kevin’s night terrors slowly fade as Riko’s dark shadow fades into Nikos warm glow.

Niko definitely learns how to skateboards when Aaron gives him his old one. Kevin likes to watch them practice it together.  Just like Aaron likes to watch Kevin teach Niko Exy.  He joins a team in Middle School.  He's definitely going to be something.

Hope you guys like this.  Leave ask and suggestions about Nikoshi Doe. I would love to hear about it and write the prompts.  

#nikoshi #nikoshi motherfucking doe #nikoshi doe #kevaaron #kevin day #andrew minyard #neil josten #dan wilds #riko moriyama #matt boyd #renee walker #allison reynolds #all for the game #all for the game fanfic #aftg #aftg fic #aftg fanfic #Kevin's adopted son #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard #twinyards #the foxhole court #Nikoshi Doe #Nikoshi #foxhole court #tfh #tfhc #the only valid moriyama

[erotica-couple]

Honey... I Fucked Up (Part 1)

I’m not particularly proud of the events I’m about to describe, but they are what they are. Still, contrary to the famous adage, this story is probably proof that the greatest of ends can sometimes indeed be achieved by the basest of means.

What I remember about that day is… quite confusing. Some of it I remember with crystal clarity, but other parts of it are a haze. I was having a late night with the girls. It wasn’t a particularly special one – we’d been on benders like this one time and time again. The only difference was that before this night, I had taken a pretty long break (almost a year) from carousing with my girlfriends after settling down with a guy I was particularly enamored with. It wasn’t every day that I met a man I wanted to wake up to over, and over again, so I took the effort to stave off partying while I focused on building our relationship together. 

 Things had been going beautifully between us, and I was sure I loved this guy. We’d even gone out and found an apartment together, and while that might not be a huge step for some people, it was for me. Before meeting Charlie, I had never even been mildly interested in setting up shop with a man. I was, as my girlfriends often reminded me, naturally averse to long-term commitments, and the fact that I’d stuck it out for almost a year with Charlie floored some of my closest friends. There was something magnetic about him – he was charming, funny, sweet – not at all possessive. He wasn’t a psycho, like some of the men before him, but he wasn’t boring either.

 In short, it had been awhile since I’d been out on the town. I didn’t go out that night with the intention of being unfaithful, obviously. In fact, I had told myself I was going to keep the alcohol intake to a minimum and try to get my high off the music. The club we had been planning to hit up that night had a DJ playing that week that I was really into, so I was confident at the time that that alone would be enough to get me going for the night. 

 As with all such promises to oneself, my optimistic pledge fell apart quite quickly. At the behest of my particularly unhinged friend Cheryl, I knocked back a few too many shots of vodka and was completely lost in the music, the crowd and the thumping, pumping atmosphere. My hips were winding, my hair was swinging, and I was thoroughly enjoying myself.

 That was when he showed up. One of the (very) few things I remembered about him was the smell of his perfume – fuck me, it was strong. The masculine scent shot through my nostrils, and it made me take note of his presence immediately. I was a sucker for manly, woody smells and just the thought of the kind of man he might be was enough to send a tingle of excitement down my spine. Seconds after he pushed up against me, I felt his hands rest on my hips, and his stubble grazing up against my cheek as his lips pressed up to my left ear. 

 “You’re sexy,” was all he said, in some fucking erotic, exotic accent.

 I remember instantly swooning in his firm, masculine grasp. 

With alcohol coursing through my veins, it didn’t take long for things to get more risqué. My hips were gyrating against his, swinging to the rhythm of the music, and his hands were all over me. I should have stopped him when he reached up to my breasts and squeezed them through my dress in his large, rough hands, but I just… couldn’t. I’d barely caught a glimpse of his face, but his aura… it was so commanding, so gripping, that I let him touch me wherever he wanted to. 

 Still, even at that point, I didn’t expect things to go much further. I knew we would fondle on the dancefloor, and I knew I would probably soon succumb to the curiosity of wanting to feel his crotch in my hands through his jeans, but I told myself I would end the tryst the moment he asked me back to his place.

 Still, everything felt wrong. I would like to pretend like I thought harder about what I was doing, that I did my best to resist temptation but yet succumbed after an immense battle of the wills, but that would’ve been a lie. I had barely put up a fight. From the moment the stranger laid his hands on my hips, I was putty in his hands. Every base pleasure in my life before Charlie, every careless tryst I’d had, every meaningless fuck I’d spread my legs for – those were the things this stranger represented to me. He was everything I used to be, everything I thought I’d escaped from in the last year. In under fifteen minutes, he’d shattered any idealistic notion I had that I could live a quiet, ‘normal’, muted life. He reminded me, as his hands slipped under my dress and against my naked body, that I was a fucking slut, and that I loved every second of being one.

 The girls had seen what was happening, and I wanted to hate myself for proving them right again – for proving them right that my thing with Charlie wouldn’t last, for proving them right that I couldn’t keep my legs closed in the presence of a rugged, studly man – but I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong – I loved Charlie. He was the only man in years that had held any weight in my hustle-bustle of a love-life, the only one that felt like he truly, truly mattered. But that didn’t change the fact that I was weak, and it didn’t change the fact that I was irresponsibly insatiable. Even as I felt a deep, nagging guilt towards Charlie, my body continued to acknowledge that the stranger groped me in all the right ways. I was wet. I was so fucking wet for him.

 This was where things got hazy. The stranger put his lips to my left ear again and told me to follow him. I knew where things were going, but I put off my earlier resolution to put a stop to things for just a little longer. I wanted to feel his cock in my hands first, just for a tiny, tiny second. Then, I told myself would go back to Charlie and beg him for his forgiveness.  

 But my plans must have changed, because the next thing I remember in my clouded cocktail of alcohol, adrenaline and ravenous desire, was finding myself in the toilet in the back of the club, closed in a stall with the man. Maybe I’d succumbed because I had already felt how big he was when he was grinding up behind on me on the dance floor – that’s how big he was, I literally felt him on my ass through his fucking jeans – and I knew what was going to happen next, or maybe I was still lying to myself; lying to myself that I wasn’t about to go all the way with a stranger I’d only met fifteen minutes ago.

 When the man pulled his trousers off and I saw the length of his cock, I’ll never forget how quickly my jaw dropped. Before I’d seen his rod, I was still aware enough of what I was doing to feel pretty shitty about the whole thing – I had something good with my boyfriend and was disappointed with how easily I’d submitted to some fucking handsy, muscular douchebag in a club. But the moment I saw that thing, I knew I wasn’t just going to tug him off and have him cum on my thighs. I knew I was going to spread my already dripping, warm cunt for him right in that dingy stall, and that he was going to fuck me good when I did.

 I didn’t resist when he pushed me up against the stall and snaked his thick, fat cock right under my dress and up to my pussy. It slipped in easy. His head pushed into me, and when the rest of that thick, throbbing shaft followed my knees buckled immediately and I screamed in fucking ecstasy. It was SO much bigger than anything I’d had, and after months of just taking my boyfriend’s satisfactory yet significantly smaller cock, it felt like a fucking revelation. The way he split me open, and the way I could feel his manhood probing me – it was so, so much more animal… so much rawer. I could actually feel it throbbing through me, the pulse of his rod was that strong. 

 He gripped my hair in his hand, pushed my face up against the wall of the stall, and fucked me senseless. The stall rattled, though I was sure the other patrons of the club’s toilet were used to seeing (and hearing) strange things. I was too busy whimpering, gasping and moaning to be bothered with what people I couldn’t see thought of me, and too busy being jack-hammered to feel guilty about my actions anymore. In fact, I couldn’t help but compare the men’s respective prowess’ – having not had another man besides Charlie in almost a year, admittedly, left my sexual appetite wanting in certain areas. He liked things slow, and often struggled to take control in bed. I loved him, but I often left the bedroom wanting just a little more.

 And now, I was getting everything I missed out on. I was getting it all. No foreplay, no condom, no romance – just pure, unadulterated sex. As his cock jammed its way in and out of my cunt, he pulled my dress up to shoulders and massaged my bare tits in his hands. Pinching, rolling and smacking, he found the difficult balance between pain and pleasure, and sent me into one of the most intense orgasms I’d had in my life. As I came on a stranger’s cock in a poorly lit bathroom stall, I felt the man rest his forehead against the back of my head. He was breathing heavily, and his grunts grew louder, and more labored.

 He was going to cum.

 I was going to let some fucking stranger cum inside my pussy. I knew I was going to. I wanted it. I wanted to feel that first, violent shot of sperm bury itself deep into my cunt. I wanted him to fill me up with splashes of his warm, oozing cum. I wanted to feel it slowly spill out of me when he pulled the length of his shaft out of my pussy. And so I did. I let him cum inside me, knowing I was doing Charlie wrong.

 I remember very little of what happened after.

 ~

 Obviously, quite some regret followed when I woke up the next morning, sober, with a pounding headache, and the guilt of what I’d done weighing on my mind. My cunt was sore, and I swear there were traces of the stranger’s cum still oozing out of my pussy and onto the bed I shared with my boyfriend that night, in the new apartment we’d only just found for ourselves.

I couldn’t remember how I got home, but I was in a flimsy night-dress and looked reasonably kempt. I figured that my girlfriends had probably made sure I got home safely, though I didn’t think they would have told Charlie about what they likely knew had happened between me and the man they had seen me dancing with.

 I finally mustered up the courage sometime around noon to tell Charlie about the events of the night before. As much of an impulsive slut I was, I was no liar. If Charlie was going to dump me for it, I had braced myself for that too.

 “H-honey…” I heaved, breathless and struggling to look him in the eye, “I fucked up.”

I was taken completely off-guard by my boyfriend’s reaction to my confession. In fact, I… couldn’t believe my ears. The conversation we had that day would turn out to be the beginning of a loving, yet incredibly kinky chapter in both our lives.

[missnctyukhei]

NCT (Way V Line) Reaction: s/o giving them a blowjob

Warnings: smut, sexual themes

a/n: omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!!!!! I can’t wait. And OMG did you see the teasers and so on? I have not been hyped for something for so long. I can hardly wait for their debut anymore. Who is the same? Please raise your hand! 🙋

Kun

"You look soooooo good with blond hair." You bend over the table and on his soft face a smile appears. It was a stressful time, but now you have time for each other for a long time. Kun had cooked for you and it still smelled of thyme and rosemary in the whole room. The scent of herbs coupled with the smell of his aftershave will make you feel very warm and cozy. "I could have cooked too, you had such a stressful schedule." You stroke his hand and look at him with your big eyes. You missed him so much. Every moment you only wanted to be with him. "Your cooking skills are awful, and I wanted to do you something good." He smiled again and gave you a short but gentle kiss on your lips. "I'd like to do something good for you, you're too good." A sigh escaped you. "I'm with you, that's good enough for me." Now he looked deep into your eyes and you knew in that moment that he meant every word seriously. But that was not enough for you. He should also feel as good as you are now. "But not for me ..." And then it come up in your mind what you could do.

"Lean back." You got up and smiled down to him. He looked at you in surprise, but followed your instructions. Then you sit on your knees and place your hands on his waistband.

"What are you doing?" He is breathing heavily, watching every movement of your fingers. "Just watch." Your voice suddenly deepened and you open his pants. Pretty soon, a bump had formed and his cock grew with each of your touch. And when his best piece lay free in front of you and you held his dick in your hands, he got harder and harder. "I completely forgot how hard you can become." You say this with a wink and start rubbing slowly with your palm over his shaft. Kun leans his head back and closed his eyes. And in that moment, while he not paying attention, you gently stretch out your tongue and play with the tip of his cock. Kun opened his eyes immediately and looked down at you. "Wow, what?" It's not often that you orally satisfy your boyfriend. You often had much time and usually your evenings end in a short quickie. But today you had enough time and you also wanted to do something good for him. "Just relax" you whisper, touching his glans with your lips. You squeeze them together so that they are tight around his sensitive skin. Kun let out a relieved moan and his arms fall relaxed from his body. You start with your lips and your hand to move up and down on his cock. In the meantime all his blood was gathered in it and you taste the salty flavor of his precum. Kun gave himself completely to you. He enjoyed each of your movements and you did the best with your lips until you suddenly noticed how his body tensed again. "Y/n I think I'm coming." He wanted to warn you before his whole orgasm landed in your mouth. He knew you didn’t like it that much, but this time you didn’t care. You press your lips even closer and your movements are even faster. "Y/N!", he called one last time, but you didn’t stop. And with a last grunt, you can feel the salty liquid splashing in your mouth. You swallow everything and smile at him. "Thanks for the dessert."

Ten

Red prints on the tablecloth. The lipstick on the wineglass. An empty wine bottle and black clothes spread on the floor. Songs by Lana Del Rey ran quiet in the background. By the dimmed light one could almost believe that nobody was at home. But only almost. "Ahhhh..." There was a groan from the bedroom and two naked bodies were spread across the bed. Ten was half-raised and put his arm over his knee so that he had set up. Your head was between his legs and while you rub his cock, you suck on his balls. His fingers clawed his skin and an innocent laugh escaped his lips. He enjoyed your sucking and licking, but it tickled him a bit. "Fuck, you drive me crazy." He stroked his hair and clawed at it as well. But you keep on teasing him, because you knew how much he loves it. You continue to suck, lick the preceding veins and rub your hand over the sensitive areas. When his glans became dry you'll lick at it and everything was wonderfully moisturized again. Your tongue was everywhere, no place was untouched on his cock. But when his dick begins to twitch, you knew he was nearing his climax. But you didn’t let him relief and continue to tease him. You release your mouth from his cock and your hands were only very gentle on him. No more pressure, no fast movements. And whenever you did that, he was about to go crazy. He swore and begged you to cum, but you keep him waiting every time. “Let me cum”, he beg and beg. You look up for a moment and smile cheekily. "Please!" He pleaded. And in this moment of pleading, you want to give him the fulfillment. "But just because you're so cute," you say with a wink. And then you take his cock completely in the mouth and give him the last rest. A big grin came over his face and his fingers clawed back into his thighs. Ten began to groan aloud and with the last pump he came with his mouth and his salvation ran down your throat. And when his orgasm reached you completely, you'll lick the last remnant off his cock tip until it's completely clean. "You're a little slut right?" He said this with a wink and stroked your face. "Only for you."

Winwin

At last you and Winwin had a quiet weekend for you. Your last night was wild and only the thought of it robbed you your mind. Your naked bodies were covered with the blanket and the first rays of sunlight on that day illuminated the room. But suddenly a well-known ringtone sounds. "Is it Yuta again?" You picked up your smartphone and looked at the screen. Winwin wanted to stop you, but you were too fast. And you were right. It was Yuta again. You pushed Winwin away and put the phone aside. "Yuta can wait." You stroke the cheek of your boyfriend and smile. "I do not want him to be angry." Winwin was just too good. He was a good friend, but now you wanted to have time with him. He finally saw Yuta and Taeil more often. "I think Yuta will forgive you if he knows you're busy." "Busy?" Winwin looked over at you in surprise and you looked at him back with a lascivious look. "Yeah, you're busy with this one." Your hand slides under the blanket and strokes over his middle. "Don’t you still have enough of me?" He clearly spoke about last night. You could hardly count how many times you came. But you could never have enough of him. "I want to spend some more time with you." You climb over him and disappear under the blanket. When you touch his cock, you realize quickly that he didn’t have enough of you too. With a firm grip, you'll bring him down and just wait until he gets harder. And when he was almost stiff, you take him in the mouth. "Wait," he said suddenly, throwing you aside. "I would like to fuck your mouth once," he confessed and you liked the idea. Winwin was sweet and soft. But he could be also dominant. You liked this side on him, even if he showed it too rarely. You went on your knees and Winwin introduced his cock in your mouth. He placed his hands on your head and you tightly surround his dick with your lips. Then he started to move. He firmly held your face while he fucked you. But he was still a little uncertain. "Everything okay?", he demand and stopped his movements for a moment. You indicate, as good as you can with his dick in your mouth, that everything is okay and he continued. He leaned his head back, closed his eyes and continued to fuck your mouth. He decided the pace and enjoyed every second of control. And when he came to his climax, he pulled him out and spread his sperm all over his face. You were fully disguised with the white substance, but you liked it. Winwin stood in front of you and breathed heavily. He seemed to have liked it clearly. He grinned and picked up a tissue. "I hope we can repeat that."

Lucas

With your back you lie on the bed. With your hands, you squeeze your breast together. Lucas was sitting on you. His legs were next to your upper body and his cock between your breasts. He moved up and down with his hips. He supports his hands on the bed. The mighty figure of Lucas was above you and you could say that there was something else about him that was big as well. His entire length stretched over your entire upper body. Lucas loved to fuck your breasts. Titjob was his favorite foreplay, but this time he wanted to put this game on the next level. "Y/n, can you suck him too?" He stopped for a moment and looked at you with his big eyes. You look at his cock and try to reach him with your mouth. Surprisingly, it worked pretty well. So he continued and fucked your breasts. With his hip he pushes so far, so he pushed the tip of his cock every time into your mouth. "Oh god, that feels so good." Lucas increased the pace and continued to fuck your breasts and your mouth. He pushed his cock forward and back. But suddenly his movements got faster and his cock penetrated ever deeper into your throat. "Your mouth is too good, I have to fuck you every time like that." His voice was a little out of breath. But he made no move to slow down. He fucked your mouth harder and harder. He penetrated ever deeper into your throat and pulled his cock again and again out to your breasts. He moaned loudly, grunted and gave his last energy just to finally come to salvation. And you never knew when that came. Lucas never warned you, he just cum. But you liked that, he was so untamed and wild. That made him so special. He pushed his dick deep into you a few more times and your deepthroat game was strong. But slowly you had to recognize your limits, because he could not go deeper. And after a while you had to cough, but Lucas moved on. He pushed him deep into your mouth again, pulled him out and on the way from your chin down to your breasts, he draw a line of his orgasm. His cum was spread over your whole lower face and your breasts. And, oh boy, Lucas came a lot. He always liked to cum on your body because he was proud of the load he shot at you. He looked at you and smiled satisfied: "Look at you, my perfect cumslut."

#nct reaction #nct reactions #nct u reactions #nct smut #nct u smut #way v smut #way v #wayv smut #nct wayv #kun #kun smut #quian kun #kun reactions #ten #ten smut #chittaphon #ten reactions #nct china smut #winwin #winwin smut #winwin reactions #sicheng smut #sicheng #yukhei smut #yukhei wong #yukhei imagines #yukhei scenario #yukhei reaction #lucas #lucas smut

[greekowl87]

Fic: Under New Mexico Skies

Tagging @viceversawrites and @today-in-fic. AO3 link to the fic. The New Mexico Entry for the 50 States Collection done by @viceversawrites

A/N:  I've never been to New Mexico and I took some liberties as I did with this fic. But I used this image and these sounds for inspiration in trying to create the setting. I imagined this as a missing scene for ‘The Truth’ before Mulder and Scully end up in the motel room where they spend an extra night in the desert trying to lay low. Thanks to @clover-covered-hills for being an extra set of eyes. Hope it turned out okay. 

Mulder stoked the fire he had somehow built on the desert floor thanks in part to the survival supplies found in Knowle Rohrer’s black SUV. The dead super soldier wasn’t going to be using the SUV anymore. But being on the run again was nothing new Mulder and Scully, especially when it was them against the world. But this was somehow different for them. There was a sense of isolation and loneliness that seemed suffocating to them. Mulder hadn’t said anything, yet, to her but there was a growing sense of guilt twisted with anger growing inside of him. They should have never taken that first step in the natural evolution of their relationship. Maybe he never should have agreed to be Scully’s sperm donor. What about William then? The idea made his stomach twist into knots. Maybe he shouldn’t have left.

“I’m thinking we should maybe go north after a few days, Mulder. Wait and see what happens,” Scully said.

She opened up the back of the SUV to roll out some old blankets and sleep back to make themselves a makeshift bed. Mulder another some old newspaper balled it up and stoked the fire. Kneeling down, he watched the orange flames dance. “I think I saw some food in the SUV.”

“Just like camping,” Scully smirked. She dug through the bags and produced a half-open MRE. “With the exception of some Tabasco missing and coco mix, we have a meal to share. Seems particular, doesn’t it? But we got chili and mac and cheese to go along with some granola mix. That sounds disgusting actually. Chili in mac and cheese.”

“Did you say something, Scully?”

He saw her sigh and shake her head. “I think there’s enough here for both us.”

“I’m not hungry, Scully.”

“You need to eat something, Mulder. You’ve barely eaten anything in three days much less slept. Neither have I. We need to make sure we take care of ourselves.”

“You aren’t my mother, Scully.”

He pushed himself off his knees and stalked around the fire. He glanced at his partner and saw her pained look before it quickly disappeared between a neutral wall. “Well, you need to eat something.”

“I’m going to take a leak. I’ll be back.”

As Mulder stalked off some distance away, Scully read the MRE instructions quickly and set to preparing their food. She propped the cooking MRE up against the wheel and sat on the tailgate of the SUV. She leaned back and tried to imagine the brilliant night sky light like those stock photos they sold on calendars. It looked like someone had taken a handful of glitter and tossed it across the night sky; she couldn’t remember the last time she had seen so many stars. Her eyes could trace on the outlines of the Milky Way cut through the sea of stars. In the distance, the half moon cast enough light to see the rock formations in the distance in a cool blue glow. If she closed her eyes, she could imagine the warm orange of the ancient formations splashed with light from the fire.

Scully tried to rake her mind and recollect the last time they had been in New Mexico? Maybe after Area 51 when she had found that penny and dime merged together in her bullpen desk. She had that weird coin thing stashed in a box that also contained William’s things and memories of their previous life. What were they now? What was going to happen to them?

She grew distracted by the crickets. Their chirping in mass created a low hum that seemed indistinguishable. Scully became lost in the symphony until she heard Mulder’s heavy footsteps coming back. They eyes met. “You okay, Scully?”

“Fine, Mulder. Just fine.”

“You’re always fine,” he grumbled. He picked up the MRE that had been cooking and offered it to Scully. “Your dinner is ready.”

“Our dinner,�� she corrected. She took it and stirred the bag with the plastic spoon. “You treat me as if I am a plague victim.”

“No. I’m not.”

She focused on stirring the MRE as anger began to smolder in her veins. “Then what else do you call it?”

He remained and went back to needlessly focus on the campfire. “What do you want from me, Scully?”

“What are you talking about, Mulder?”

He suddenly stood up and kicked the sandy floor. A wave of dust swirled around him. “To say everything is fine? To go back to how things were?”

“How things were?” she asked exasperated.

“Before I left. Before William.” She winced. There it was.

“Back to when things were…”

Scully’s voice died in her chest just like any hope she had of them reconciling. She had gone off and done the unthinkable by putting their son up for adoption. She remembered the joy he had holding William for the first time. That brief 72 hour period where everything had come to be everything that they had hoped for. They had a family. There were no government mysterious or black op organizations chasing them. They had fought their battles, survived, and were rewarded for all the hardships they had endured with the child they had dreamed of. Until Kerch came and shattered that dream like a hammer to a mirror.

“Until what, Scully? Say it.”

“Until I gave up William. I couldn’t keep him safe, Mulder so I did the only thing I thought I could do.”

“Send him away from us?” He hissed venomously.

“Yes! Yes, that is exactly what I did. I didn’t know what else to do, Mulder! I had to kill a murderer in my son’s room with him inches away. My mother was physically assaulted trying to protect her grandson. I had no way to get a hold of you. What was I supposed to do, Mulder? What else could I do?”

“You could’ve held on a bit longer! I would have come!”

He kicked the ground in anger and cloud of red rose between them. “Would you? I gave up hope, Mulder,” she shouted at him. Tears were streaming down her face. In the firelight, Scully looked like a dying saint. “I gave up hope! And you? Why won’t you open up to me? Is this punishment for what I did? What did that smoking bastard mean?”

“It’s best you don’t know, Scully.” The distance between them seemed as wide as the Grand Canyon. She tried to choke back her sobs. The MRE contents fell off the tailgate of the SUV onto the desert floor. Mulder cleared his+ throat,  put his hands on his waist, and focused into the fire. “Maybe I should’ve let you long ago. Maybe we should have never gone down this road. I can’t bear to see you in pain, Scully. If I could heal you, I would. If I could spare you from having cancer, losing Emily, Melissa...your life…I would.”

“Don’t you dare say that!” She raised her hand and slapped him hard across the face. “Don’t you ever say that.”

Her tear streaked cheeks reflected the light from the fire. His cheek stung and he closed his eyes, savoring it. Mulder deserved it. He deserved her punishment. He deserved to be hated by her. He deserved her wraith. He closed his eyes and awaited her to strike him again.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” Scully asked, pain raw in her voice. “Aren’t you doing to do something?”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Be here now. Mulder, I made you a promise long ago. I will always follow you, no matter how dark the path gets. Don’t leave me behind. Please.”

“I’m a plague to you, a cancer.” He scoffed bitterly. “Let’s not forget I gave you cancer.”

“And you were also the only one who fought for me and gave me the cure against all odds. Don’t forget that! You showed me things I could only dream of, Mulder. You made me believe. You gave me the courage to believe, hope, and dream of something more than myself. I love you! Don’t you ever, ever think that you are a burden to me!”

She took a few hesitant steps towards him and ran her fingers lightly up his forearm. The springy hairs were soft and reminded her of a particularly intimated rainy night on the leather couch of his Alexandria apartment. He closed his eyes as her hand grew bolder and began to caress her cheek. “What do you do to me, Scully?” He whispered.

“I want you to remember. And forgive me. I want us to know we still have each other.”

His eyes opened and he breathed deeply. For the longest moment, they watched each other, entranced. The firelight danced across his small smile as he leaned his head back and watched the fingers of Milky Way dance across the purple ink sky. “Heaven,” he whispered thoughtfully.

“What?” Scully arched an eyebrow.

“Anywhere with you is heaven,” he clarified. “I forgot that. These endless months, being trapped in the Arizona desert without you...it killed me, Scully. It was killing me inside.”

“Well, I’m here now,” she told him determinedly. Her hand shook as she rested it over his heart. “And I’m not leaving. You can try all you want. I’m not leaving you.”

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against here's. “Do you remember the last time we were in New Mexico?”

The intimacy enclosed around them and she found herself wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. “Yes,” she whispered.

A coyote howled somewhere off in the distance and the crickets and insects intensified in their humming. Mulder wrapped his own arms around her waist, pulling her litter figure close. It had been so long since he had simply held her and could enjoy the moment. “The UFO. Area 51. I had memories of a leopard print bed.”

“I wish you’d have kept that mirror,” she smiled into his neck.

“You know,” he suggested huskily. “We never tried under a starry night with a campfire. We’ve made ourselves a comfy bed in the back of that SUV.”

“Keep that fire burning and I don’t want either of us driving through the night. We’re both spent.”

It had been too long since she had felt him against her. Mulder nipped at her collar bone. “I want you, Scully, worse than ever. I want to make you sing my name forever,” he continued. His hand curved around her buttock, squeezing it with all his strength. Scully clenched and surged forward. “I missed you.”

She let a trembling sigh escape and looked down between them. How long had it been since she had seen him so inflamed for her? She rubbed up against him. “It’s been too long, Mulder. I don’t know if I have much patience left.”

He walked her backward to the tailgate of the truck until she slid onto easily onto the nest of polyester sleeping bags. His fingers pressed into her firm thighs and he sighed in remembrance of them coiled around his waist with her heels riding him on. “You’re still the strongest person that I know, Scully.”

“I doubt that,” she choked. She forced a smile but as his hazel eyes remained locked with hers. “Mulder.”

“You know I am telling you the truth. Would I lie to you about something like that?”

“No,” she whispered.

Scully leaned back and spread her legs wider. He came closer and simply held her. The desert night was alive around them with the humming of insects. A coyote howled somewhere off in the distance. “Why did you come with me?”

Spotted owls answered somewhere off in the distance.

“I can’t lose you again. When you were first taken, I remember standing there in the desert, staring up into the sky.” Her nose caressed his collarbone as she nodded to the starry sky. “I felt you, Mulder. I knew I was so close but so far. I never felt such emptiness, even while I was carrying William. When you left…”

“I shouldn’t have,” he interrupted. He started to undo the buttons on her blouse. “That way at least you wouldn’t have given up William. We still could be a family. You would still have your son.”

“Our son,” she corrected softly. “Even you had stayed with the same dangers…” Scully took a deep breath. “I would make the same decision and I hope you would have too. I want him to be safe, Mulder.”

He felt that jagged glass caressing his heart and the rage that he was trying to temper. “I know,” he managed.

He started at the windshield of the SUV, past Scully and tried to imagine where William was now. “Mulder?”

“I’m fine.” He distanced himself from Scully’s embrace and leaned heavily next to her against the tailgate. “Maybe I should check the perimeter.”

“The perimeter is fine, Mulder.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “We’re fine out here. Mulder, is it me?”

“No. No.” He gave her a fake smile. “We’re okay.”

“No. We aren’t.” She slid back into a makeshift bed and slowly undid the buttons on her blouse. “Come here, Mulder.”

He felt the longing for her soothe away the frustrations. “Just for a moment, we can forget.”

“And reclaim what is ours,” she finished.

He stoked up the fire first a bit more with the dry wood before sliding back into the SUV. The polyester silk of the sleeping bags was smooth against his hand as he tried to find grip while sliding back into their bed. He caught the amused sparkle in her blue eyes and he shook his head. “Stop laughing, Scully.”

“I haven’t said anything, Mulder.” She moved to fix her shirt but Mulder’s commanding gaze kept her in place. “Do you want this? Do you want us?”

“I want everything about you, Scully.”

He scuttled closer until their thighs were touching. “It’s pretty cramped, huh?” She smirked.

“We’ve been creative before.”

Mulder caressed her cheek trying to remember the last time they had a moment where it was just between them. She kissed him soundly on his lips and pulled away slightly. It had been so long since either of them had tasted one another. Scully lounged against the SUV as Mulder moved closer. He wrapped his arm around her neck to pull her closer and to give her some cushion against the vehicle. “Imagine that fire in here.”

“I don’t fancy a vehicle fire, Mulder.”

“But the warmth,” he whispered hypnotically. “Do you remember the night we did it in front of your old fireplace?”

She closed her eyes as the surge of memory threatened to drown her. Her old fireplace. Did Georgetown suddenly become her old apartment? Was everything she...they had nothing but a distant memory now? She hesitated and Mulder sensed her changed demeanor. “Scully?”

She shivered suddenly as the cool desert air became noticeable. His calloused fingertips traced up and down her back as the last of her shirt fell away. “It’s nothing,” she whispered. “I just realized how distant...final things are. Kind of like realizing things after they’ve been done. Like…” Her voice faded and shook her head. “Nothing. Forget I said anything, Mulder.”

“Tell me,” he whispered.

“It’s not important.”

She shook her head. She could not allow herself to feel or to linger in the past. Suddenly, she was being swallowed and she felt like she was falling into a black cold sea that was slowly becoming suffocating. Falling, falling, falling. No one could catch her. No one could save her. William was gone. Mulder was gone. She was prepared to lose everything. No. Strike that, she had already lost everything. In that moment, she had disappeared.

“Scully? Scully.” Mulder was gently shaking her. She started to unconsciously shake her head as if willing it to disappear. He cupped her cheek desperately whispering her name. “Scully. It’s me. I’m right here. Open your eyes. I’m right here.”

Scully opened her eyes on command. She blinked trying to clear the vision but the nightmare seemed to persist. The orange firelight made the shadows of the back of the SUV and makeshift bed dance. “I’m in hell,” she murmured.

“Scully!”

His voice pulled at her again and she nodded blindly, resting her forehead against the crook of his neck. She breathed heavily as her hands clawed at the back of his black t-shirt. The memories of months alone without him, trying to protect their son, come out like a title wave. She cried his name against the stillness of the crickets. The spotted owl hooted in solidarity. Mulder closed his own eyes, remembering his own nights alone, and simply held her. “I should have never asked you to leave,” she whispered hoarsely. “I wanted to keep William safe. I wanted to give him a normal life. I didn’t know what else to do, Mulder. What was I supposed to do? Did I do the right thing for him? For us?”

Mulder pressed his forehead against her. The cold dry desert air stirred around them. “You did what you had to, Scully,” he whispered. He pressed a heated kiss to a brow, trying to will back his own shame and regret. “You’re keeping our son safe.”

“We did what we had to. Both of us,” she murmured. “We’re not perfect, Mulder.”

“Far from it.” He laughed cynically. “But I’m glad, no, eternally grateful and blessed you have been with me every step of the way, Scully.”

Something changed between them as she surged forward, tightening her arms around him like a web. She kissed him as if she didn’t, she would die. Mulder rocked with her, trying to gain a rhythm. “I missed you,” she gasped. “Every. Single. Fucking. Day.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“We’re here together. Now. I don’t care.” She pushed him onto his back, somehow ripping off the t-shirt in the process. Fresh bruises were scattered across his left ribs. Her deft hands caressed them lovingly as she straddled them. “I wish I could heal them, Mulder.”

“You are,” he whispered.

He lifted his left hand and gently brushed off the open blouse. The sweat-soaked silk bra vanished underneath his hand. Scully’s breath hitched as the cold air hit with new force and goosebumps up her arms and back. She leaned over him, dry humping slowly and enticingly. It had been too long since either of them had felt the warmth or love of each other. Scully squeezed him with her thighs. “It’s been too long,” she told him. “And I can’t wait.”

Mulder’s mind danced with previous encounters. He loved to worship her, mind, body, and soul. He wanted to make it clear in the beginning that it was about her. But tonight was different. Under the Milky Way, the stars to bear witness, and by the light of their poor campfire, he wanted to take her in one draught. With experience, he flipped them effortlessly. The crickets clapped with admiration.

“Cold,” she murmured, shutting her eyes tight.

The polyester sleeping bags were cool and Mulder ran his fingers down her side. Her breath hitched as she felt his calloused fingertips grace the puckered bullet wound against her stomach. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

She shook her head and took off his own shirt. She breathed deeply as her cool skin touched his own warm abdomen. That was something else about him, she thought. She entertained a thought that she had not crossed her mind in years before they begin this first foray into each other’s personal space. He was always so warm and alive and it would curl her toes every single time they made love. This time was no different.

“No. It’s fine.”

Scully had imagined this reunion differently complete with a sleeping child in the next room and they would stifle their moans in laughter in a weak attempt to prevent waking a sleeping William. But now that fantasy was gone. Mulder stopped, sensing amiss. “What is it?”

“I just imagined things differently,” she whispered sadly.

They crawled beneath the covers, expertly removing the remains of their clothes, and pulling each other closer. “What did you imagine?”

“A happy ending.”

“Scully,” he started but found himself silenced as she started to kiss him again. Mulder could not remember a time where she was so calculating in each movement as if she was trying to prolong the inevitable despite the fact they wouldn’t lose each other again. “It’s okay. We’re okay. I’m not going to leave you again, never again. It was my fault…”

“No. It wasn’t,” she whispered. “It’s mine.”

“Stop it.” Mulder cradled her. He took a second to admire her long hair and imagine it between his fingers. “Scully, we did what we had to do. Both of us. We need to forgive each other.”

This seemed more deranged than any confessional but never had anything meant anything more. Forgive me, Father for I have sinned, passed silently on Scully’s lips as Mulder pressed his forehead against hers. She could not imagine a life without him. She had tried once and failed. William’s adoption was proof of that.

“Forgive me,” she whispered.

“Only if you forgive me.”

“On the count of three.”

“This seems ridiculous.”

“Trust me. One.”

“I love you.”

“Me too. Two.”

“More than anything.”

“I know. Me as well. If words could express how I truly feel.”

“You’re here. With me. That is all that matters.”

“Three.”

The moment seemed frozen. The firelight danced in the back of their make-shift SUV bed. The moon shone brightly with Milky Way’s fingerprints tracing against the starry sky. The crickets sang with approval, growing louder near them. Somewhere, an owl and coyote joined in together. For years, Mulder amused himself with the untested theory that he and Scully could speak together on an unconscious level, either through body language or psychic phenomena based on how well they worked together. Even now, he counted his blessings.

“Forgiven,” they both breathed in sharing a reverent breath.

Scully was the first to laugh as the tension ebbed away from them. Mulder hadn’t heard that laugh since they went to the moving showing in L.A. “To the moon and back,” Mulder whispered.

“Whatever comes,” Scully answered.

Her fingers raked across his back with her nails leaving marks, claiming him once and for all. Mulder wouldn’t run again. He vowed to never abandon Scully again, no matter what, as long he still drew breath. Even then, if he could from beyond to make sure she was alright, he would. “Never again.”

“Moments like this,” she whispered playing with his long hair, “I wish I could remember forever.”

“I’ll remember for both of us.”

Mulder drew in a deep breath and tried to kiss her as resistant as she was. “Scully,” he whispered, “tell me. I’m here now. I am not going to disappear. I promise.”

The exclusion of their clothes brought familiar memories and sensations, better than any drug or drink that had ever been conceived. He pressed against her and she hissed in sensation. “It’s been too long, Mulder.”

With the ease of old lovers, he rubbed himself up against her before she guided him homewards. She closed her eyes and let the sensations take her. Words escaped her and she could only speak nonsensically. “Like a glove. No. Riding a bike...no. Mulder, help me.”

“Just stop talking,” he whispered. Mulder kissed her, ending the debate. “Just feel. I have dreamed of this, Scully. It’s been so long.”

“Almost a year.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I missed you. I missed this. Most of all, I missed us.”

Mulder bit gently into her shoulder as he began his slow, painful movements. The first wave came suddenly, taking both of them by surprise. But as it ebbed, she crossed her legs around his waist as the roomy sleeping bags. This isn’t what she had imagined as their reunion. Happier thoughts were gone but now, they had the present. Mulder kissed her again, eager to try to give her life, anything to keep her with him. “I’m not leaving,” she promised. “I won’t let you leave again either.”

There was something more magical about this movement. Her eyes rolled backward, ignoring the gray interior of the SUV and tried to focus all her senses on the moment. She saw glimpses of the moon beyond the tinted windows. The Milky Way was cloudy. But the warmth of the fire at her feet, Mulder on top of her moving oh so deliciously, and those damn crickets who seemed to have the best spot in the state of New Mexico. This is where she wanted to be. This was happiness. This was an eternity.

“Promise me, Mulder.”

She clenched, digging her heels into his buttocks, his muscles clenching, and they both held on for as long as they could. Seconds become minutes. Minutes become hours, hours into days, days into months, and months into years. Years at this point were dismissible. This moment was an eternity. They were forever. Nothing that could change their mind about that. Mulder grew in intensity, each stroke becoming more poignant. A crescendo of owls and crickets. announced the oncoming pinnacle of their unity.

“What?”

“Promise me that we won’t stand divided again,” she murmured.

“Not really the best time.”

“Just promise me, Mulder.” She forced him to look at her. “We can’t change the past. We can only move forward.”

He nodded wordlessly and he felt tears. Mulder did not know if it was his own or Scully’s. “Promise. I promise, Scully.”

A few more strokes were all it took before they screamed into the New Mexican desert air. A momentary silence surrounded them before the chorus started again. Mulder rolled away slightly and pulled Scully against him. She squeezed her slick thighs in memory before their legs and arms entangled. Mulder closed her eyes, kissing the little spot behind her ear. “Think we should shut the trunk?” She whispered.

“Then my feet wouldn’t hang out,” he replied. “Don’t worry, the fire isn’t going to die out. We’ve spent the night in worse places.”

“This has got to be one of the more creative places we’ve done” she smirked.

Scully felt satisfaction, a relief that she had not felt in a long time. “We better get used to it I guess,” he murmured. There it was again. That guilt. “I’m so sorry, Scully for putting you into this situation.”

“Mulder,” she whispered, twisting to face him, “haven’t you learned yet? I would follow you regardless. I do what I want and what I want is you. Nine years and I don’t regret a single moment. I know there are things that you refuse to tell me, Mulder. I understand that but we won’t be able to do this ourselves if we don’t communicate.”

He nodded wordlessly.

“We only have each other now.”

“I know,” he whispered.

Scully searched his hazel in the dying fire. She pressed herself against him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. “We’re going to be okay, Mulder, even if you don’t believe it, we’re going to be okay.”

“Is that your faith in God talking?”

“Faith in you, in us.”

Mulder nodded with closed eyes. He opened them again. “I’ll show you a second time if you are up for it.”

She nodded with a weak smile. “Careful, we still have to drive into Roswell tomorrow.”

“I’m in no rush,” he whispered. “We got all the time in the world. We’ll rent a little motel room and figure out what to do, where to run.”

“We’ll be okay, Mulder,” she whispered. “I know we’ll be.”

“I hope so.” He kissed the fiery locks of her hair. “I really hope so.”

#a map of us #xfiles #xf fic #msr #msr fic #mulder #scully #mulder and scully #angst #smutish #ep 'the truth'

[nautiscarader]

5. 69 with Adult Sukka. Sparring between Sokka and Suki leads to an impromptu standing 69.

()(Ao3)(next>>)

One of the first thing Sokka learned when he was a boy in the Southern Water tribe was that the warrior should never rest, and always keep his senses keen and muscles ready. And fortunately, with a girlfriend like Suki, he could train both. As long as they were both together, sparring sessions with the Kyoshi warrior became a daily thing for the couple, allowing them to practice and learn new techniques, though usually it was Sokka who was the student.

Sokka wondered sometimes if Suki didn’t have any airbending skills; the moves of her bladed fans could take him out of balance in no time, despite his muscular posture, trained by years of combat, both conventional and not. Despite that, Sokka did his best and equipped with a shield with polar bear dog fur and a practice sword, heavy enough to act as a substitute of the substitute of his space sword, he parried the oncoming attacks, one by one, taking a foot towards the center of their training ring.

And then, she was gone.

In a split of a second Sokka took to hide and emerge from his shield, his girlfriend was gone, nowhere in his field of vision, and only a sudden gust of wind told him where she was. And unfortunately for her, it was a rather sunny day, giving Sokka extra chance to guess her position by her shadow on the ground.

Suki shrieked when she felt Sokka’s arms close around her ankles, as she was soaring above him, in a near-perfect jump that nonetheless was cut in half, as she was now dangling upside-down in front of her boyfriend, her fans lying next to his weapons.  

- Well, well, looks like I can catch something bigger than a dragon koi. - Yeah, but you still dropped your sword - Suki countered at once, watching as his smirk widens - Maybe, but if capture if the priority, I have just immobilised a Kyoshi warrior. - Immobilised? - Suki snorted. - You forgot something. - And what is that? - You’re a guy.

Before Sokka could do anything, he felt a sudden grip on a very, very delicate part of his body, as Suki pressed her face against his crotch, giving him just a split-second tip.

- Don’t let me go. - she spoke, undoing the bindings of his trousers. - Actually, lift me higher. - As you wish.

It was time for her to let out a confused moan, as She felt Sokka’s reply, spoken in low and husky tone, reverberated against her equally sensitive skin that became exposed when her long dress Sokka so often made fun of fell down, showing her green panties. Suki cursed silently her boyfriend, who, having the advantage of being the right side up, was able to eat her out already, while she still had to fumble with his pants. Her legs, leaning onto his shoulders, twitched when she felt his tongue touching her slit, and when he lapped the first droplets of her liquid heat that has built up during their practice.

Though she hated to admit it, watching Sokka fight was incredibly arousing. It wasn’t a coincidence that she would often damage the arms of his shirts on purpose, just so she could see his muscles bulging, she would later see when they were in bed, or better, in the hot springs, relaxing. And right now, those same muscles kept her from falling heads down onto the stone floor, and Sokka’s will was about to be put through a rather difficult test.

Suki watched as his knees got visibly wobbly, when her lips touched the head of his cock, making him shudder in anticipation. Oral wasn’t exactly her forte, but fortunately for her, men weren’t exactly complicated mechanisms.  She grabbed his torso, giving herself a better assecuration, and steadily took him into her mouth, bobbing her head back and forth in quick,, shallow moves. She smelled in the musky, sweaty aroma that gave her the needed kick to keep loving her boyfriend. Slow, post-workout sex was secretly her favourite, and was a soothing dessert after straining their muscles, though for the first time she felt she was doing much more work during it.

Working under the pressure of time - after all, their muscles were getting tired, and hanging upside-down wasn’t the ideal position - he kissed, licked and swallowed more of his impressive length, letting quick, needy moans vibrate alongside it. Sokka wasn’t idle - though his fingers was occupied, he used his tongue to maximise his efficiency, licking her puffy lips as a warming exercise, only to curl and dive it into her tunnel, hoping her quivering thighs won’t crush his head. Suki wouldn’t admit it, but she was on a verge of orgasm already; perhaps because of her light-headedness, or from the simple fact that Sokka pressing his face against her sex gave him chance to stimulate the entirety of her, and for once, his appetite proved to be the most useful. Thought it wasn’t the most comfortable, his strong grip on her thighs helped him ascertain his dominance, and soon Suki was quivering, her legs flailing above and behind his head.

At he same time, she couldn’t notice his cock twitching, and just before she let out her final moan, she let go of him and experienced a peculiar sensation of a stream of thick sperm seemingly defying gravity which sadly resulted in the ropes splashing against against her face and hair. And a moment later, the world around her tumbled, just as Sokka fell to his back, unable to withstand the force of his climax. Despite that, he didn’t let go of her, and a painful landing later, the two messy lovers lay on the ground, and Suki was the first to turn around, afraid of her boyfriend’s health.

- Sokka? Sokka! - Yeah… I’m fine… I think. - he mumbled - Felt worse after training with you.

the two looked at each other’s messy faces, though hers looked a bit worse than his, aside from one bruise on his cheek. She giggled and a moment later, Sokka joined her, giving her a ripped piece of his shirt to clean up.

- Okay, that wasn’t the smartest move. - she admitted - Well, it would confuse the opponent. But I think a kick in the nuts would do more harm than a blowjob. - Yeah, and the position… isn’t ideal for us.

Sokka was about to answer, when the tone of her would-be-casual remark ignited a familiar feeling.

- Wait, when you said “us”… - he hid his face in his palm and groaned - Please don’t tell me it’s something you learned from Katara… - Well… - she shied away - All I’m saying is that if you have someone who can fly in the air, or can make others float… - No. Nope, nope, nope. - Sokka interrupted her, waving his hands in denial - I don’t want to hear anything about my sister and Aang doing anything other than hand-holding. Kissing was a major oogie, but that…

She shivered in disgust. Suki giggled and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

- You didn’t complain last time we experimented, did you? - That was something theirs too?!

#sukka #sokka #suki #lemon #Anonymous #nautiscaraderfics

[plogieplogie]

youve cursed me bigtime i'm just trying to live my life but "i never thought we would splash sperm together one day" or "she makes me want to release my gooey alien eggs right here and now" will pop into my head this is so fucked up what have you done

I wish I could frame this ask on my wall. I might just do it anyway.

#axe #idk when this was sent im only just now seeing it sowwyyy

[davidcarner]

Sarah vs The Life Unexpected: Growing Pains Ch 2, Are You Sure?

A/N: If you don't follow me on twitter, my daughter dressed up as Brenda, Grace's personification of evil and way of torturing me. What does she want you might ask? What do you think, MOLLY! We return to the Mollyverse with the question we've been wondering since Christmas…It is a baby brother, right?….I give you Ch 2, Are You Sure?

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, or Molly, but I need Brenda to go away.

"Chuck," he heard the voice say. He opened his eyes and looked up at the lights. "Chuck," it was the voice of an angel, his angel…Sarah. He smiled, and then he thought about the video he had just watched. He jumped to his feet, ran out the door, skidded to a stop on one foot, entered the men's room, and got to the toilet just before his stomach emptied. "Oh, boy," Sarah muttered.

The rest of the class looked at her in pity. She shrugged, and grinned sheepishly. They had just watched the birthing video. Chuck had been nervous about the birthing class, but Sarah was so excited, he had kept his mouth shut. This was one of those times he really missed Ellie. She could of prepared him, or at least talked to Sarah about it. He was going to get through the class. He had decided that, and then the video began. He wasn't sure why the mother had to be naked. He had always heard about the beauty of birth, but there was nothing beautiful on that screen. In fact, he was wondering why any of these women had not only had sex if there was a chance to do what he was watching, but some of them did it with nothing but this purpose!

Chuck felt the room get hot, spin, and a couple of times he wished he hadn't had that burrito for lunch. He got himself under control just in time to look up and see the baby crowning. That was the last thing he remembered. He splashed cool water on his face while standing at the sink. He looked down at the sink and the water running.

"I don't know if I can do this," he said softly to himself.

"Well, luckily you don't have to do that part," he heard her say. He spun around and there was Sarah, standing in the men's room. He thought she'd be mad, upset, embarrassed, or something, but all she was, was concerned. "Unlike that video," she said gesturing behind her. "There is usually some type of partition between the top half and bottom half, and I think it's best if you work the top half, or out in the waiting area."

"I can't do that," Chuck said. Sarah smiled at him.

"Sweetie, I love you, but when I'm giving birth I really don't have time to wake you up from off the floor. I'd have to let you lay there," she said.

"If you never want to have sex again, I understand," Chuck blurted out. "I mean…" he turned a little pale, turned to the sink, and felt her hand at his back and on his shoulder. "I'm useless."

"Kinda needed you to get to this point," she said with a grin.

"Ha!" he replied. Sarah gave him a side hug.

"As long as you're there for everything after," she said, giving him a smile. He stepped away, and looked at her, mock affronted.

"Woman, please, you know I am, and will be," he replied.

"I know, Chuck, I know," she said, and gave him a kiss, but quickly pulled away.

"Mouthwash," he muttered. She dug in her purse and found some gum.

"Come on, let's go home," she said.

}o{

"So why was she naked?" Carina asked the next day at lunch. Sarah shrugged.

"I'm really not sure," Sarah admitted. "The narrator said, but Chuck was turning funny colors and making gurgling noises." Carina laughed.

"You know, if you went into labor, and couldn't get to the hospital the nerd would probably deliver the baby just fine," Carina said, shaking her head. Sarah was nodding.

"Right?" she answered. "But put him in a spot where his mind can think and really process what is going on…" Sarah shuddered, and Carina belly laughed. "I love him, but sometimes…"

"Stick with the first part of that sentence," Carina said. "So today's the big day, huh?"

"Yep," Sarah said, blowing out a breath.

"Have you considered what you are going to do if it's not a boy?" Carina asked.

"Flee the country," Sarah said. "I have fake passports and IDs ready for both Chuck and myself."

"Sarah, you wouldn't leave that girl, either of them," Carina said, grinning.

"But she scares me sometimes," Sarah admitted. Carina leaned in.

"She scares me all the time," Carina answered.

}o{

Chuck and Sarah sit in the driveway of their home, neither making a sound or moving a muscle.

"Baby's healthy," Chuck said after some time.

"Yes," Sarah said, nodding. "Looks like it will be a normal delivery, nothing complicated."

"Which is awesome," Chuck said with no enthusiasm.

"Absolutely," Sarah answered. They sat there for minute.

"Could we get a second opinion? Chuck asked.

"Chuck, we got three while we were there," Sarah said.

"Different hospital?" Chuck asked. "Different country?"

"Chuck," Sarah began.

"Sarah, they said it was a girl!" Chuck said, his eyes wide. "I have to go in there and tell her I failed!"

"You failed?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah, my sperm didn't do something right," Chuck replied. Sarah closed her eyes. "What?

"I don't know that it's anyone's fault," Sarah said, shaking her head.

"What if we move and don't tell them?" Chuck asked.

"You could leave Molly and Clara?" she asked, him a look of, "are you stupid?" on her face, knowing the same thought had crossed her mind.

"You know I couldn't, and neither could you, it's just…Sarah, she scares me," Chuck admitted.

"Chuck, she scares all of us," Sarah said, taking his hand. "I'll protect you," she said with a wink.

"You know I like it when you get all protectory," Chuck said, grinning. Sarah leaned across the seat.

"Yeah?" she asked. Chuck nodded. "Then you tell Molly, and I'll protect you, all night."

"Nope, no, unh-uh, net, nein, no freakin way!" he said, looking scared to death.

"All night?" she asked, pouting. Chuck shook his head.

"You can pull out every trick in the book they taught you, you can use every feminine wile you have, and there is no way it works. We do this together," Chuck said. "I don't put my foot down on much, but this, this I do." Sarah nodded.

"You're right," she said, and opened the door.

"Hey, any chance later-" he began.

"Nien," she said, looking at him batting his eyes.

"I'm not sure that was necessary," Chuck grumbled.

}o{

They had gone in, made dinner, and were sitting at the table, nervous as can be.

"How's my brother doing?" Molly asked. Chuck dropped his fork onto his plate mid-scoop, and Sarah stopped chewing. She looked at him.

"A week," she offered. Chuck shook his head. She closed her eyes, reached over, and took his hand.

"Molly, sweetie, the doctor saw the baby today," Sarah began.

"How is he?" Molly asked, her face excited.

"He's a she," Chuck said. He watched her face. She turned and looked at him.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Pumpkin, he had everyone check it to make sure," Chuck explained. "The baby is a girl." Molly nodded.

"You know after the baby is born, and we've had some time to get adjusted, we were planning on having another one," Sarah said. Chuck looked at her.

"We are?" he asked.

"Well, you didn't seem to mind the idea," Sarah replied.

"How about we see how you handle this one," Chuck said, going a little white. Sarah grinned as she fought not to roll her eyes.

"Chuck, I'll be fine," she said. Molly was watching them and shook her head.

"Maybe he's right," Molly muttered. Chuck and Sarah shared a look and Emma jumped up.

"I'm taking Clara for her bath, and get her ready for bed," Emma said grinning. "I suspect we might be about to get some more Jerry wisdom, and it's been awhile so I'm sure it's a doozy."

"Take me with you," Chuck said. Sarah and Emma burst out laughing. Emma left and Sarah and Chuck waited. "What did Jerry say?"

"He said his brother told him, his mom and dad had to practice a lot before they got a baby brother," Molly said. Chuck just blinked. He couldn't speak. Sarah looked at Chuck, fighting to keep from bursting out laughing.

"Sweetie," Sarah began, wondering if she shouldn't just leave this alone but finding she couldn't help herself. "Doesn't Jerry only have his older brother?"

"Yes, and it took a lot of tries for him to come along, so they had to practice a lot," she said. She stared at them. "Well?"

"You are not telling us to go practice right now," Chuck said.

"Daddy, you always tell me if you want something you have to work for it," Molly said, standing. Sarah clapped her hand over Chuck's mouth.

"Molly, in many situations that's true but in this one, there is no way to know whether the baby will be a boy or a girl," Sarah said, giving Chuck a warning look as she removed her hand. Chuck was close to bursting from the laughter he was holding in. "There are a lot of old wives tales and myths, but nothing scientific."

"So, you just have to keep trying?" Molly asked. Chuck put his hand over his own mouth.

"Yes, sweetie, we have to keep trying, if we want a boy," Sarah said. "Your father is right though, we do need to see how things go. I plan on having another, but something could happen." Molly stared at Chuck, and Chuck wondered.

"Pumpkin, can I ask you a crazy question?" he asked. She nodded. "Are you worried if we have a little girl, that is ours, we're going to love her more than you?" Molly didn't say anything. Sarah's smile and laughter were gone. Such an idea had never occurred to her.

"I mean she would be yours," Molly said softly.

"Molly Bartowski," Chuck said, giving her the stink eye. She couldn't help herself, she giggled. "You better know that your mother and I consider you to be ours. We couldn't love you more than if you were our blood child. What did I tell you so many months ago?"

"That we were lucky because someone chose to love us?" she asked.

"That's right," Sarah said. "And I don't want to ever hear another crazy word that we don't love you. You practically harassed this poor guy until he married me."

"Thank you, by the way," Chuck mocked whispered. She gently elbowed him in the ribs, grinning.

"Plus you harassed me until I asked him out, causing me to embarrass myself," Sarah continued.

"You didn't cry in a beautiful women's home you just met because it used to belong to your dead sister," Chuck countered. Sarah turned to him.

"I really owe her one don't I?" Sarah asked.

"More like I do," Chuck replied. They both turned to her. "So we love you, you got us together, and you will always be our daughter, got it?" She nodded. "Good, now go see if Emma needs any help, and we'll be up in a minute." She got down, came over and kissed Sarah first and then Chuck and then headed upstairs. Chuck turned to Sarah.

"So were you going to ask me if we could work harder, or promise her you would, or what, because it was right there and I know you couldn't resist it," she said, grinning.

"The only thing I could resist less than that is you," Chuck said with his own grin.

"Wow! We are trying hard tonight," she said, emphasizing the night. "Mr. Bartowski."

"And?" Chuck asked. She moved in close.

"Chuck, you know it works," she said and gave him a big kiss.

"I will always love our children," Chuck said.

"But you owe Molly big time," Sarah said with a coy grin on her face.

"You ain't kiddin'," Chuck said, getting up and clearing the table.

}o{

"Wake up!" Molly said, landing in the middle of the bed. Chuck shot straight up.

"Wha? Where? Is there a fire?" He asked.

"No, we have to go shopping and get the best deals!" Molly said.

"What are you talking about?" Sarah asked, rubbing her eyes. "What time is it?"

"We have to go when it's black on Friday to get the best deals for baby things, and it's Friday, and it's really dark outside," Molly said. Chuck looked at the clock.

"It is 3:14," Chuck said.

"Baby, that's for the day after Thanksgiving," Sarah explained. "We'll go this weekend."

"Oh," Molly said. "Guess I better get back to bed. You-" Sarah cut her off.

"Molly, before you say another word," Sarah began in a mom voice. Chuck bet she used that voice in the CIA to control assets and they did exactly what she said, every single time to the letter of the law. "Do you remember when Chuck told you to stop about the baby brother?" She nodded. "You need to stop about the practicing." She nodded and left. When Chuck heard her door close, he couldn't help himself.

"She could be right you know," he said. He was whacked by a pillow. "I could be concussed."

"You'll get over it," she said, snuggling into him. After a minute she raised up to look at him. "Well?"

"Well, what?" Chuck asked, confused.

"Aren't you going to lock the door?" Sarah asked, grinning.

"I thought you wanted her to quit saying that stuff?" Chuck asked, still confused but getting up.

"Oh, I do," Sarah admitted. "But, you know," she said, bouncing one shoulder. "What if she's right?"

"So you just want me for practice?" Chuck asked, trying to appear affronted.

"Do you really care that much?" she asked, grinning. Chuck shook his head with his own grin. "Then get over here!" And he did.

}o{

Saturday Afternoon

They had shopped all day for baby things. They were all tired, and Chuck wanted to lift their spirits. He pulled into an animal shelter, and Sarah gave him a look.

"This is why I don't let you drive," she said, winking.

"I thought maybe we could go visit some animals and cheer us up," he said. "The shopping kind of put us all in foul moods."

"Good idea, Daddy," Molly said. They got everyone out of the car and Sarah sided up to Chuck.

"Is this a good idea?" she asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Chuck asked. Sarah gave him a look and shook her head. They went through the shelter and Chuck stopped in his tracks looking at one of the puppies.

"Chuckkk," Sarah said, worried.

"Sorry, he looks just like Peaches," Chuck said. "He was my dog, back when my whole family lived together." Sarah looked at him. Molly went over to the puppy in the cage. One of the volunteers came over.

"Does she want to play with him?" the volunteer asked. Sarah looked at Chuck, who was lost in his thoughts, a sad look on his face.

"Yes," Sarah said. The volunteer got the puppy out and within minutes, Sarah was rolling her eyes. Molly and the puppy had bonded, and Chuck just watched them, joy on his face. Sarah sat Clara down and she walked over and began to play with Molly and the puppy. The puppy was good with the two little girls. "Can you watch them a minute, I need to take care of something?" Sarah asked.

"Sure," Chuck said. "You okay?"

"Never better, Chuck," she said. She walked out of the room, and the four never really noticed how long she was gone. When she returned, Chuck sighed.

"Girls, we need to go," Chuck said.

"Bye, puppy," Molly said.

"I believe the puppy's name is Peaches," Sarah said. Chuck's head whipped around.

"Are you sure?" he asked, shocked.

"Well, I'm told the owner gets to name the puppy," Sarah said. Chuck's jaw dropped.

"Peaches," Molly said. Peaches licked Molly's face. Chuck pulled Sarah into a hug.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Chuck," Sarah said smiling. "That puppy is a member of the family, and if I made them put him back, they'd be heartbroken."

"Right," Chuck said grinning.

"And, you'd pout for days," Sarah said.

"Weeks," Chuck replied. Sarah kissed him. "Come on, Peaches, we're going home." Peaches barked in agreement.

A/N: For the record I never passed out during the birthing video we had to watch…the rest of the running…that may be based on a very true story….Take care…Until next time

DC

#Chuck #Sarah #Charah #fluff #Sarah vs The Life Unexpected #MOLLY #fanfic #fanfiction