#i obviously still have trauma from when he was actively in his mess. to deny that addicts have caused others trauma is to be reductive. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

michals · 3 years

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That post reminded me I never actually posted this and it's one of those ‘kind of embarrassing I spent so much time on it but I’m posting it because I spent so much damn time on it’ things.

Klaus and Luther similarities/parallels

So the show doesn’t give us a ton of Luther and Klaus interaction but I think just them being the characters they are they’re really similar and have interesting parallels.

Of all the siblings I think it’s actually Luther and Klaus who are the most diametrically opposed in terms of their place in the Academy and their childhood. Obviously there’s the dynamic between Reggie explicitly calling Luther his favorite and Klaus his biggest disappointment, both of them had high expectations thrust upon them and one excelled and the other failed. But then again Luther was set up to excel and Klaus to fail. For all that Reggie wanted from Klaus he went about it in entirely the wrong way which only hurt Klaus’s abilities, and comparatively Luther’s powers are very straight forward so his training had to be mental in that he became exactly what Reggie wanted him to be.

Basically: Reggie’s abuse had opposite effects on them. Luther was brainwashed and isolated, Klaus was discarded and left to fend for himself. Luther loves/trusts his dad, Klaus hates him. Luther thinks they have a purpose and what they did was worthwhile, Klaus thinks it was all a big joke and meant nothing beyond Reggie’s little experiment. Luther’s at one end of the spectrum, Klaus the other, and everyone else falls somewhere in between.

How they show the effects of their abuse however, is actually more in sync. Klaus has a habit of either ignoring or talking around problems, acting like they’re not problems, or being flippant about them. Klaus acknowledges Reggie’s abuse but it’s usually in a jokey, casual manner, he usually moves on from talking about it quickly without getting too deep. He knows Reggie did a number on them but confronting it head on is difficult. And this is from a character who’s been in multiple rehab centers that obviously include some kind of therapy sessions.

Luther of course outright denies it until he’s faced with it in the worst way, and even then he can’t really get his head around it. One of the first things he did when landing in the 60s was to go to Reggie and expect him to welcome him, even though he doesn’t even know him. And then for all his talk in s2 about having moved on it reads like lip service, it sounds like he knows that’s what he should say, what he should feel, but it’s not entirely working. It’s like he’s just trying to dismiss it to the point where he will literally run away from the conversation. I still think the moment of him telling Sparrowverse Reggie that he’s happy they’re all home and together is a huge sign that he still thinks of Reggie as his dad no matter what.

Klaus and Luther either don’t know how to talk about their trauma or aren’t willing to. Whether it’s that Luther still doesn’t want to face up to it completely or that perhaps he does have the littlest bit of hope that actually Reggie did care and there was/is a chance he might care yet, or with Klaus trying to put the trauma on the backburner so he doesn’t have to relive it or process it in a way that means he won’t be able to drink it away or perhaps be forced to confront the powers that have caused him so much pain.

I also think they are genuinely sensitive. Not in the same way the others are, but empathetic and gentle in ways they never got to explore as children. I think that emotional wounds go much deeper than they let on. They’re always on the cusp of reaching out but not only do they not like dealing with their problems, they were taught not to. If given the chance they’d probably be happy to play support for the others but that wasn’t Reggie’s goal. I can easily imagine Luther as the kind of leader who takes everyone’s plans and thoughts into account and makes sense of it from there, who’s better at dictating than just demanding. And I imagine Klaus would probably be capable of understanding and connecting to his ghosts in a way that helps both him and them if he had been given different training.

Next is how both of them have poor self esteem and what comes across as a passive view of self preservation. Klaus has a very conflicted view of his place within the Academy. Apparently he was regulated to being the ‘look out’ often and wasn’t as active as the others. Obviously this is because of his complicated relationship with his powers and how Reggie treated him within the group dynamic. If he didn’t think Klaus was important (because he wasn’t doing what he was supposed to) then he wasn’t important. Now, having embraced his place as the black sheep of the family, Klaus still doesn’t know where he fits in and often comes across as “useless” (in quotes cause obvs that’s not the whole story, just a simplification).

Just in general he sees himself as an outsider. For all that he’s flippant and casually cocky he’s not actually all that confident in what he’s capable of to the point of not even trying sometimes because he’s convinced he’ll fail. It’s a smokescreen. It goes hand in hand with him not confronting his feelings or trauma, easier to play like he’s confident than to deal with it.

Luther’s self esteem came entirely from his place in the Academy and his father’s opinion and what Reggie made him. Even then his confidence gets shaken all the time when someone doesn’t listen to him or when they argue with him. He too tries to cover this up, Klaus is glib Luther is bossy. Then there’s the whole gorilla body thing, which he is very obviously mortified by. (Side note: interesting contrast in Klaus being usually the least physically covered up sibling and Luther being the most.) He’s wildly ashamed and embarrassed by his appearance. (There’s a whole other point I could make about how Luther only willingly shows his body when he’s being exploited and pummeled – or high – but that’s another post.)

Then Luther’s whole foundation crumbles with the discovery of Reggie’s true nature. He doesn’t have much left after that and then he’s dropped into a foreign world with no one and no way of coping and then Reggie once again lets him down. What’s he do? Gets into a situation that mirrors his relationship with Reggie, lets himself be taken advantage of, does what he’s told to the point of physical harm - because he knows nothing else and the bet is he doesn’t think he deserves better. Then he spends all of season 2 saying that he messed up, he’s not a hero, he’s not a leader and that he has no place thinking highly of himself. Guy straight up doesn’t have any self esteem at this point.

(Klaus also doesn't see himself as a hero even though he was on a literal superhero team.)

And in terms of their sense of self preservation: Klaus obviously has very little regard for his own health and wellbeing. Even if he doesn’t throw himself in front of bullets he’s still drinking and doing drugs to an extreme degree, to the point where they’ve actually killed him. He knows it’s bad for him, he knows it’s dangerous but he doesn’t care. Even with Ben in his ear he continues. When he dies in s1 he’s relieved.

Speaking of throwing one’s self in front of a bullet: Luther does this 3 times that we see. This comes obviously from his protectiveness as a leader but there’s an undercurrent of other people surviving being more important than him getting hurt. And when Five comes to him to say the world’s ending again Luther says he doesn’t give a shit. The Luther from s1 was all about saving the day, s2 Luther is shrugging and saying ‘yeah well, so what?’ and when he does start to care it’s mostly because he’s looking out for Five.

(Sidenote: I realize that my headcanon that Luther is becoming an alcoholic and has an unhealthy relationship with drugs is probably me reading into things but were the show to go in that direction: that they both would find comfort or an escape through substances would be another thing to tie them together and explore how their traumas affected them and what they do to deal with/avoid dealing with them. They’ve become pessimistic about the prospect of answers or catharsis so they look for escape instead.)

(Also also pointing out that the two times Luther was the most candid about his trauma was when he was drunk/high and one of those times was with Klaus – who for the first time in probably a long time, or ever, got to be the shoulder someone cried on. And what a great thematic idea that it’d be the two of them that’d be the most honest and open with each other eventually.)

Bonus item: Luther and Klaus have both died outside of their apocalypse related deaths (pretty sure Allison never actually died in s1 but was close) and in ways that none of the others were there for. Neither of them have talked about it. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to seem weaker than they already are, maybe it’s more of that ‘let’s not talk about trauma, let’s just get drunk’ mentality, or maybe it’s because they don’t think anyone would care. None of the others have really talked to Luther about the accident or the aftermath, none of them have approached Klaus’s addictions as an actual problem. Whatever reason why it would probably do them a world of good to find out they have that in common in the same way it would be good for Luther and Five to talk about their isolation.

They really seem like they should be very different characters in all respects and they really are in a lot of ways but there’s also this laundry list of ways they mirror each other or are similar and I hope the show takes advantage of that.

#tua #tua meta #luther hargreeves #klaus hargreeves

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raamitsu · 2 years

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i think some people are misunderstood. dark urges is not a power up, true that. however, we can’t deny that it gives south and mikey an advantage to boost their strength, solely allow them to overpower their unbeatable opponents. take south in the latest chapter as an example. his tragic backstory + urge to let out his “loved by violence’ type of stuff into a kind of “weapon” to beat the ones he’s facing.

from what i’ve seen, dark impulses is a psychological disorder stemmed from an intense tragic backstory (since childhood for most cases) such as childhood trauma, abuse, the death of beloved people etc.

just like how south and mikey have shown in the manga, i’m sure we wouldn’t dare to name it as a ‘power-up’ but the fact remains that anyone who has it would be aware of its capability to consume one’s wise mind into the darkness and there will be people who will take advantage of it, cuz they have no ways to stop it and decided to have fun with it which we can see with south terano.

while mikey is not that type of person, he still can’t get rid of it and eventually drown deeper when something or someone becomes the trigger of it, until a third party steps in and stop him.

if we put away the category of people who “take an advantage and have fun with” and “being deeply influenced into activating (or triggering)” , then you’ll get a conclusion that both south and mikey has one thing in common called ‘the dark impulse’ which has shown many times in resulting a possible tragedy of an individual once it consumes their wise mind (unable to figure the wrongs and rights) thus giving them an inhumane, immeasurable level of strength.

so obviously it is not a power-up (even if it happens to be one, though i doubt it would, it still not. a. good. thing. to. mess. with) but more of a dangerous type of mental boost, which i would say with my own words, act as an >undercover< to make it look like one. it’s like saying they are the same people but at the same time they are not. btw, these are just my thoughts. i try my best to make everything clear for anyone to be able to understand.

maybe anyone could help enlighten me more about this, i don’t mind to learn.

#tokyo revengers #idk if i make any sense but please correct me if i make a mistake

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dreamteamfanblog · 3 years

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Hey so it's been like nine months but one thing I still think is Really Cool about the election is how IMPOSSIBLE it was for good things to happen here.

Now, the baseline premise, first off, that i've gotta establish? Quackity was the only good candidate.

Wilbur was always messed up and his whole plan was to rig the election from the start. Fundy was...incompetent...to say the least, and he tried his hand at voter fraud as well. And, well, Schlatt showed up shooting at the other candidates right off the bat and we all saw how that turned out. Quackity on the other hand joined specifically to prevent corruption, didn't use any dirty tactics throughout, seemed like he wouldn't be completely incompetent, and as we saw later when he turned against Schlatt actually did have a vested interest in making sure the people were okay.

And now that i've established that premise imma make another claim.

Quackity was completely and totally fucked over during that election.

Okay going into more detail now.

I'm going to talk about what may seem like a very irrelevant detail for a bit here. L'manburg's border policies before the election and each parties stance on it. That being the policy that Americans are banned from L'manburg, the way Wilbur argued in favour of keeping it, and the way Quackity opposed it.

Quackity's objection to it is actually super fair.

At the time a lot of people used this as a way to insist Quackity was out of touch from L'manburg's history/culture and didn't care about the nation itself or at least wasn't fit to run it (oh boy is this gonna be important later). Which. Is bullshit. Because he had a damn good point. I often complain about it when characters who don't know the countries history pop in and start taking for granted their history, reasons for existing in the first place, and the reasons behind their policies/stances. However Quackity's complaints about this policy were actually very well grounded. Now, I think it's a more nuanced situation than "nobody who isn't european is allowed, fuck off" vs "open the borders to everyone, nobody's denied access, nobody's denied a place no matter what, uwu" obviously. But Wilbur's stance was the most harmful one present honestly and he literally just fullstop insisted "nobody who isn't european is allowed, fuck off". This is obviously a very dumb rule. Again, while the "oh we're all european and they're....mostly...all americans, lol" observation is funny and a neat coincidence, it's not something to base policy in. Wilbur's argument was basically;

"the americans oppressed and traumatized us!"

but.....no, if we're talking about the Dream Smp faction, three specific americans and two british man oppressed and traumatized you. If we're talking about the independence war specifically in which the Dream Smp faction asserted their ultimate leadership/control and attempted to destroy the L'manburg rebellion despite their attempts to negotiate for independence? Then we're talking Dream, Sapnap, George, Punz, and later Eret. Alyssa, Callahan, Sam, Badboyhalo, and Purpled were all americans who absolutely did not have anything to do with the attacks against l'manburg during the war. If we're talking before the war as well, then while a case can be made that implicates Purpled I guess, it also implicates another european, Ponk, not to mention that Fundy, Tubbo, and Eret were all involved in the initial conflicts on Sapnap's side and only switched over later, so i seriously warn against deciding to extend beyond the war itself to include purpled here or three other europeans end up implicated next to the one new american while there are still four other americans on the server who haven't done a thing to the people of L'manburg at this point in time.

Not to mention later editions to the server like Skeppy, Quackity, and Karl, none of whom were even really on the server at the time of the war if i remember correctly, and didn't have anything to do with what happened to l'manburg. In fact, while i'm not sure about Karl, Skeppy and Quackity were both immediately much more L'manburg aligned than Dream Smp aligned. Quackity was deeply enamoured with L'manburg and never even glanced in the general direction of a dream smp affiliation, meanwhile at this point Skeppy was rather neutral in his allegiances but had never antagonized L'manburg and was in fact openly antagonistic to Dream, holding spirit over his head and even before that scolding him, calling him a colonizer outright, and telling him he was in the wrong during the independence war, and yeah one could argue that it's a point against him that Skeppy had one of Tommy's discs, but how long have people been whining about how Tommy's discs shouldn't be a factor in L'manburg's government generally? Not to mention that Tommy didn't even know Skeppy had his disc at this point. Those are two Americans right there who L'manburg not only didn't have any reason to dislike, but who had aligned themselves with L'manburg's side much closer than Dreams at this point. I'm pretty sure the only reason Quackity didn't formally join l'manburg literally the moment he laid eyes on it is because he wouldn't have been allowed to, lmao, for real his passion for that country kinda baffles me sometimes cause I don't know where on earth it came from, lmao, and while Skeppy likely wouldn't have joined anyway, alienating and outright banning someone who defends your rights and antagonizes your enemies doesn't seem smart in the slightest. There was no reason to make laws that barred the agency of L'manburg aligned neutrals who weren't even active server members at the time of the first war.

That's just ludicrously nonsensical and honestly even just plain unfair. This also extends to people like, again, Bad, Sam, Alyssa, Callahan, most likely Purpled, and probably Karl (i honestly don't remember much about his role at this point but i don't think he was aligned against l'manburg/with the dream smp faction at any point? not taking a hard stance on that one but still.) who hadn't exactly aligned or allied themselves with l'manburg but also literally did not do anything to them. Wilbur's argument that they needed to ban americans because the Americans had oppressed and traumatized them was just..like...not true. Not all or even most of the american's on the server by the time of the election had contributed to trauma or oppression from the Dream Smp, and in fact, nearly just as many europeans were just as guilty of that as the americans.

The policy was unfair and didn't even make sense and has incredibly flimsy historical backing despite Wilbur's attempts to make it sound like every single american had personally oppressed/traumatized them and were inherently against l'manburg's ideals and coveted their downfall. Even the ones who never did anything to them. Even the ones who weren't on the server yet. Even the ones who speak out in their favour.

But what if I told you this law actually did serve a purpose?

Just not the one Wilbur argued?

What's been done there is we trojan horsed in a false equivalence. Ship of Theseus'd a problem, a non existent dynamic, into existence. If you don't know what Ship of Theseus is, it's basically the concept that, if you took a boat (say, the ship of theseus), and replace every board of wood on the ship one by one, is it really the same ship at the end of it. That's what, theoretically, one could do with the L'manburg border issue here. They started with a true statement. The Dream Smp are responsible for oppressing and traumatizing L'manburg and L'manburg needs to be free from them. Well, okay, I notice The Dream Smp are mostly american. The statement can then become as follows. A group of mostly americans are responsible for oppressing and traumatizing L'manburg and L'manburg needs to be free from them. Well if they're majority american then a point can be made that one could just say Americans for simplicities sake surely. Americans are responsible for oppressing and traumatizing L'manburg and L'manburg needs to be free from them. Well then it's easy to justify banning americans. And taking it a step further, you could plug any two names in there, one american and one L'manburg citizen, and even if on its own the sentiment looks absolutely nonsensical, when smuggled in as a Thesus' ship, it may be taken for granted as being factual. Suddenly? Alyssa is Tubbo's oppressor, Sam is Fundy's oppressor, Purpled is Tommy's oppressor, Skeppy is Niki's oppressor, etc. For the most part the specific one on one combinations aren't used often, or at least aren't specifically pointed out (though they do exist to an extent when l'manburg citizens are a lot more ready to shut any given american out of their in group because 'they're on the oppressors side', even when they're not), and is just used as a means to promote general group dependence and rejection of The Other. But it's oh so easy, when a challenge to this idea is presented, to pull out the one on one comparisons.

And I mean you may think I sound like a conspiracy theorist, but...

Wilbur used this mentality to his advantage in the election.

Because the fact that Quackity was an american and Wilbur was a legal member of L'manburg was a point against Quackity in the election.

Nevermind the fact that Quackity was in no way aligned with the Dream Smp faction, had already heavily allied himself with L'manburg, and was not a citizen because he literally legally was not allowed to be on account of unfair border laws. He's still an american, one of them, not one of us.

Now, the specific trait could've been anything, lets be real. It doesn't matter what random attribute Wilbur picked out of the lineup and decided is The Enemy. I mean, european vs american was just the easiest one, but it could've been any random categorization. I mean really, functionally, what does european vs american actually mean in relation to the Dream Smp characters anyway when you really think about it? Some of these characters were canonically born on smp land and have never lived elsewhere, and I know for damn sure none of these characters ever lived in america or europe. Like, yeah, real earth history/geography is like...referenced by characters kinda sorta, but when you get down to it from an in character perspective what does being american or european actually entail? None of these characters live in american or europe? Like, I may have missed the scene where Wilbur ran his plans to form a British Colony by the queen, or like, that time Britain, Germany, and The Netherlands made their official agreement to share this newly discovered territory and allow their citizens to settle it as L'manburg, and if I did then that's on me. But like that didn't happen because none of these characters are citizens of actual european countries. And none of the characters on the flip side are citizens of actual American countries either. Within the context of The Dream Smp characters, european vs american may as well be defined just by how some of us kinda sorta talk in similar ways and you guys also kinda sorta talk in a similar way that's kinda sorta different from us I guess. Having that law in any serious lore capacity is really Weird.

And I heavily suspect Wilbur didn't just coincidentally make a really Weird law choice and decide to die on such an arbitrary hill for no reason....and that it just happened to promote wariness of people outside of his group from those within it and set up an easy us vs them mentality that can be played between his people and All Outsiders (even if the outsiders are characters who have cc's that are european because choosing to be an outsider is said to negate the whole "one of us" aspect of any given person entirely anyway) whenever it may be needed.

Like, for example, if hypothetically a passionate young law student who's loudly calling Wilbur out for acts of corruption and chooses to run a campaign against him....just so happens to be part of the completely arbitrary group labeled The Other....well, he's not one of us (even though he's been involved as long as niki who is considered 'one of us' at this point and he's only not a citizen because the laws wilbur put in place mean he legally cannot be one), he's An Outsider, and he's trying to open us up to other Outsiders, and that in of itself is tyranny! That in of itself Wilbur won't stand for! And he gets to at least put them on even ground, then, because, well, Wilbur may have tried to rig an election, which may or may not be a taaaad bit tyrannical, but Quackity's one of Them and he wants to let Them in so that They can destroy us, and that's just as bad. No, worse, even! This puts the very foundation of our country at risk! Our very freedom and lives! It can't be stood for!

This isn't a hypothetical angle i'm making up, this is...very much an angle Wilbur pulled. It wasn't their entire angle, it wasn't the only angle, but he did bring up Quackity as one of The Other out to destroy them and spun this whole narrative about how he was the actual corrupt one here, that his behaviour was borderline tyranny, because he....wanted a more open boarder policy that doesn't randomly exclude a bunch of people because they don't spell colour with a u or whatever other very vague irrelevant differences that this categorization actually means for the characters in question.

And the reason I bring up the border policy issue at all isn't just to point out Quackity doing good, but also because it kinda goes to show how completely fucked Quackity was in this election.

Even if we give the benefit of the doubt to Wilbur and say he actually thought that policy was a good idea and believed what he was saying about it, the law itself was still ludicrous and harmful, and it still resulted in a very Us Vs Them mentality. I mentioned it earlier myself, Wilbur made a point of being outraged over Quackity's desire to open the borders. Wilbur made a point of implying that the suggestion in of itself was tyrannical, even. This very easily has the effect of making Quackity look like the bad guy. Outsiders are banned, they're banned because they're oppressors, they're tyrants, they've traumatized our people, and they'd be our downfall if we let them in. Quackity himself is actually part of the group being unfairly shut out here, part of the Other, and that was incredibly exploitable given the ideals Wilbur was pushing. Not only was Quackity himself one of these oppressive outsiders, he aimed to let more of them in! And by driving L'manburg's founders out of office no less. "For years, the Dream Smp has ostracized my group of people! L'manburg is not a place of oppression, it is a place of sanctuary for our people! What you intend to do is come into our land and open it up to them! This in of itself is tyranny!" That was Wilbur's stance. And I mean it's all there. "Us" vs "Them", the harsh righteous use of Tyranny as a buzzword he knows will resonate with the people of L'manburg (as well as taking attention away from wilbur's very recent corruption and putting it onto this tyranny that he is outraged about), and while he doesn't explicitly point out that Quackity himself isn't one of them within this speech, his use of "our land", "my people", his description of how Quackity intends to come into their land and open it up to their oppressors. It's all very sensationalist and feels a lot like propaganda via fear mongering if i'm being honest.

And there wasn't exactly much Quackity could do about that. He couldn't have conceded on the point of not allowing outsiders into L'manburg if he wanted to because he himself was technically one, and that, by default, painted him as dangerous in Wilbur's campaigning. And, well, who are you gonna listen to? Our brave heroic leader (and oh boy the donning of l'manburg uniforms throughout the election and consistent references to the war were absolutely meant to invoke feelings of patriotism in wilbur's favour as well), or.....Them™. From the word go Quackity was screwed over in the perception from L'manburg's public by Wilbur's manipulative corrupt bullshit.

And that's not the only way Quackity was pretty fucked from the start either. On top of the first point (which honestly would be a pretty impressive thing to recover from overall)

Just really quick there's the minor point that Pog2020 engaged in more light forms of shady tactics like burning Quackity's stuff or posting fake quotes from him.

But much more pressing, there's the aspect of how the parties eligibility to run was handled.

First off, none of the parties except Quackity's should have even been allowed to run. Wilbur was outed early on for voter fraud which should've been it for him and by the rules of the election neither Fundy nor Schlatt should have been allowed to run.

But beyond that, there's the fact that Schlatt2020 and Coconut2020 being allowed onto the ballot disproportionately effected Quackity's campaign.

I mean honestly while there were all sorts of reasons people had for voting for whoever they voted for....there's not really any denying that the camps were "Wilbur And Tommy" or "Not Wilbur And Tommy". Quackity is bright and passionate and all, but up until this point he's not been a politician. He entered the election to stop Wilbur's corruption, Quackity himself had never really considered assuming a position of power beforehand, and as such the votes he got were honestly primarily more A Vote Against Wilbur than a vote for Quackity in specific. That's not a diss against Quackity by any means, but he didn't actually have some big grand idea of what he'd do as president, nor did he have the sheer star power/influence/historical basis for his campaign that Revolutionary Hero/Current Leader Wilbur Soot did. Quackity's main stance was not being the other guy, the whole reason he joined the election was literally to oppose the other guy. People who voted for Wilbur were probably gonna vote for Wilbur no matter what happened. Maybe a few of them were charmed by Niki and Fundy and switched over there, but even then, the new entries almost certainly didn't put much of a dent in Wilbur's numbers. Why would they? Wilbur had a guaranteed loyal voting base right off the bat. There were absolutely quite a few people who no matter who the other candidates were, would have voted Wilbur. The fact that Wilbur so heavily references and draws upon his revolutionary past and invokes feelings of solidarity/patriotism even to the extent of fear mongering the other major party only solidified this voting base. Wilbur was kinda the de facto vote, even. Quite a few people took a Pogtopia victory for a given here, and the guy who's been running the country and who talks about His Nation as..well...being his nation every chance he gets? That guy's obviously going to feel like the default vote as the popular patriot with a long history behind him. Adding the fear mongering and other techniques used to lower morale/public opinion the other party (like the fake quotes and burning quackity's builds) to the mix and, well, many of the people who didn't vote for Wilbur were most likely doing so specifically because it wasn't Wilbur and for one reason or another they didn't want Wilbur to win rather than making the vote because they specifically liked Quackity. Which means that the addition of two other parties disproportionately hurt Quackity's campaign and not Wilbur's. The two solid sides were Wilbur or Not Wilbur. He had a very loyal base right off the bat who were going to vote for him no matter what, and since he felt like the default and went out of his way to reinforce his status so thoroughly throughout the election, that means most people who voted against Wilbur were very much opposed to Wilbur more than anything, especially since Quackity's main reason for joining and general draw was that Wilbur isn't fit to lead.

I think it's pretty obvious how that was a lot more damaging for Quackity's campaign than it was for Wilbur. Wilbur's loyal base most likely almost entirely stuck to him even with the new additions, however "Not Wilbur" as a position was suddenly split in three different voting options instead of the one it started out with. Niki/Fundy and Schlatt didn't have enough time to campaign or make their stances clear or really garner any chance of winning, mind you, but they managed to snatch quite a few votes, most of which i'm certain came from Quackity's pool. Honestly the introduction of these new parties was kinda the best thing that could've happened to Wilbur's campaign here. The people who adamantly support him or defaulted to him almost certainly mainly stuck with him wheras the people who wanted Not Wilbur to win were likely splintered much more heavily. It was never going to be enough to give the win to Fundy/Niki or Schlatt because of how late the entry was, but it damn well could be enough to seriously damage Quackity's chances. Coconut and Schlatt had a total of 25% of the vote between them. I highly suspect the large majority of these votes would have otherwise defaulted to Quackity, 18% or more of total votes I highly suspect otherwise would've been on Quackity on account of how much more likely Quackity's voter base would have been to switch than Wilbur's at this point in time. The fact that neither Schlatt nor Coconut got many votes- not nearly enough to even come close to winning really- may make their entering seem pretty harmless, but honestly this most probably cost Quackity a possible overall win.

Just for a helpful graphic:

I won't make a definitive claim on whether Quackity or Wilbur would have won without the new entrees (hence why it's 50-50 on the graph even though obviously it probably wouldn't have been exactly 50-50 lmao). But I do believe that the majority of votes that went into the two new parties came out of Quackity's pool, but that could mean anything from an overall 45-55 for Wilbur to a 50-50 to a 55-45 for Quackity. As far as Wilbur vs Not Wilbur camps I can't make an actual judgement here on what the initial projected outcome would have been because we don't actually know how many of the votes for Coconut or Schlatt came out of which original candidates pools. I highly suspect the majority of them were out of Quackity's original pool, because whether you think Wibur shouldn't be leader for the drama or because you genuinely caught onto him being corrupt, you're more likely to vote Coconut or Schlatt than Wilbur's much more loyal base. But of course I also acknowledge that some of Wilbur's voters may have been charmed by Coconut because, well, the L'manburg fundamentalists know Fundy and Niki are a big important part of L'manburg as well and they can appeal to national pride almost as well as Wilbur with that added bonus of their bright innocent energy that probably made some of Wilbur's voters coo over fluffy little Fundy and sweet shy Niki (wilbur's own view of them during the election, though he wasn't so willing to humor them) and their yummy cookies and their own L'manburg uniforms and give them some votes. So I have no doubt Wilbur also lost some points.

Of course I also have no doubt Wilbur may have paradoxically gained points because he was seen as the safest vote for a win and when the two new parties showed up i'm certain at least a few people who were in it for an actual good outcome and not just drama thought Wilbur was better than the new options (namely schlatt, backed by dream) and swapped their vote for Quackity into a Wilbur vote specifically because they were freaked out by the new candidates and swapped to the safest vote they could for a win that wasn't a new candidate because Quackity wasn't stable enough to risk anymore. But note how no matter what, I cannot see this scenario gaining Quackity any new votes despite literally all of the other parties having a chance to do so and Wilbur's voter count possibly even evening out if not increasing paradoxically with about as many or more people than were charmed by Coconut being freaked out by Schlatt and voting for the safest non-Schlatt option.

But note that, in all of that, there wasn't any chance of Quackity gaining any real voter percentage from this. His main base of "Not Wilbur" supporters were splintered. Many of the people who were in it for the drama poured their votes from Quackity to Schlatt who was more reactionary and overtly violent. Many of the people who thought Wilbur was too corrupt were still somewhat L'manburg fundamentalists at least on some level and would have voted for Wilbur's rebellious son rather than Quackity. And even many of those who wouldn't vote for either were likely freaked out enough by the broadening of the pool to flip their votes onto Wilbur (who's win, need i remind everyone, was anticipated, and possibly even taken for granted, by many) in hopes to offset the possibility of a Schlatt win, no longer seeing Quackity as a safe enough vote to risk with the new more overtly destructive wildcard in play. Wilbur was safe, Fundy was L'manburg, and Schlatt was fun. Quackity on the other hand? He still got votes. The second largest fraction, even. Likely for two reasons. First off, while a lot of people impulse flipped to Coconut or Schlatt, most people who thought it through seemed to realize that they didn't have any real chance of winning here and stuck with Pog or Swag. Secondly, many people had already resolved themselves to voting for Quackity so despite the splintering still thought "eh, i already said i'd vote for him, so..". But note that neither of these cases actually allow for new votes. Anyone who knew Schlatt and Coconut wouldn't win anyway and just stuck with one of the two main parties had already made up their mind about who they wanted to win beforehand. Anyone who just shrugged and went "well I already said i'd vote Quackity so why move now?" were much the same. There was no reason to switch your vote onto Quackity now if you hadn't already. If you wanted Wilbur to win before the new entrees then you obviously weren't going to vote for Quackity because you already decided you wouldn't vote for Quackity beforehand and he didn't suddenly become any more safe or native to L'manburg or fun after the new entrees, but if you were going to vote Quackity? Damn right there's a reason to switch. Multiple reasons to switch. To ALL other parties. Twenty five percent of combined votes went to Schlatt or Coconut, Wilbur's numbers likely stayed the same or even increased as well, and Quackity's voter base likely tanked entirely.

Which, you may be going, "Okay? Who cares? Look, who cares why the votes didn't come out in Quackity's favour, they didn't come out in his favour, he lost, the numbers don't change just because we know why they turned out the way they did, and if Quackity bled votes, that's his problem?"

Which, i'd agree with you, if any of this had actually been natural or fair or legal!

If the other two parties hadn't been an option and Quackity had just bled votes for some other reason whether a misstep on his part or because Wilbur made a really good point or because some other unrelated big event happened that shifted public opinion, that would be one thing.

Hell, if the other two parties had been in the run since the beginning- or at least since relatively early on- and everyone had a chance to campaign in a four party race, that would be one thing.

But this? The new parties weren't legal entrees, they shouldn't have been included, and it is specifically because of the illegal entrees of these two new parties that Quackity bled votes. It was artificial, it was manufactured, and i'd go as far as to suggest it was sabotage.

Because something tells me Wilbur caught on to this.

Fundy and Schlatt were both late entrees, entrees that shouldn't have been allowed in, I mean, hell, if Wilbur had succeeded in his plan to close the ballot before anyone else could sign up he was literally depending on rejecting people who tried to do exactly what Fundy and Schlatt did. His entire plan was to refuse to let anyone sign up after it closed because Dems The Rules, Sowwy, and yet he agreed to let Fundy and Schlatt enter as well the day before the election. Wilbur almost certainly knew that his voter base was loyal and had spent his entire campaign appealing to this loyalty so when the day before the election two new parties showed up he likely very much would have clocked that the solid voter base he had that took his win as the default or were specifically loyal to him weren't as likely to splinter, especially not so last minute with such little time for Fundy or Schlatt to do any campaign work, which means that allowing them in was almost certainly at least partially knowing sabotage to Quackity's campaign.

And what Wilbur did next actually makes me even more certain he understood this because what he did next was the smartest move he could have made in this situation, and Quackity's response, in turn, solidifies for me that he knew the score as well.

You see, Wilbur extended the offer of pooling votes with Quackity, however this wouldn't go into effect unless Wilbur lost, meaning Wilbur himself was accounting for the idea that, with these new entrees, there would be shifting votes. However Quackity's push to make this deal unconditional and Wilbur's subsequent insistence against doing so shows who felt they were at more risk. Wilbur felt confident enough in his voter base being in tact even with these two new options that even with the anxiety bringing them in gave him he was more than willing to sacrifice the possible coalition with Quackity if it meant not having to share a potential win wheras Quackity was significantly more frightened and also seemed to recognize that Wilbur still had a good chance of winning popular vote even with the new factor. There's a reason Wilbur felt comfortable setting the condition that the combination votes only went through if neither of them won, he was very much aware that the two new parties would be a massive hit to Quackity's votes wheras Wilbur still had very good odds on account of his more loyal base who very specifically wanted him to win. I'd venture to argue that Wilbur possibly even specifically guessed that Quackity would remain the runner-up when it comes to votes and that he specifically extended a deal to Quackity here, not for the sake of undercutting the other parties, but for the sake of undercutting Quackity. Quackity's voter pool had been shot, that means it's very likely he won't win on his own, however he could be a threat if he formed a deal with another party, which means that Wilbur's best bet would be to offer to pool on the condition that it only go into effect if they both lost, not because he's worried they'll both lose, but because he knows they won't but is counting on ensuring Quackity can't pool with anyone else, knowing that Quackity is still likely to have the biggest chunk of voters of the other three parties. This is functionally the only reason to make the deal he did, if Wilbur was really so scared of the other parties winning he'd have agreed to make the teamup unconditional, and quite frankly there was no reason to think the other parties would even pose a threat honestly to begin with so if Wilbur was worried about losing generally he would have offered to pool with either of the other parties instead.

Of course, though, Quackity also likely knew the score here. Which is why he demanded they make the coalition unconditional or don't pool at all. He knew that Wilbur had the absolute best shot of winning and that making a conditional coalition to protect against the other two parties who were bound to lose anyway would basically be throwing his votes away. He knew about Wilbur's initial attempt to commit voter fraud, he certainly knew about the more open slanderous/threatening/demoralizing behaviour that the other party engaged in to hurt his campaign, i'd be surprised if Quackity didn't catch the bullshit Wilbur was pulling with his fear mongering and appeals to history/patriotism as well as his use of both buzz words and deflection as a two in one when he named Quackity's suggestions tyrannical in of themselves, and I highly suspect Quackity knew the score when Wilbur let two new parties enter the running against the rules of the election and Wilbur's own initial plan. None of it was fair by any means, like, the entire situation wasn't a Wilbur Winning Fair And Square situation, his tactics were dirty at their best and literally flew right into illegal/fraudulent territory multiple times. If Quackity wasn't certain that Wilbur absolutely could not be allowed to lead at the beginning of all this, he certainly will have been by the end of it. But, well, he'd been so thoroughly and unfairly screwed over that he didn't exactly have many options.

This left the only options that didn't result in a solo Wilbur administration open as Quackity siding with Fundy or Quackity siding with Schlatt. If Quackity tried to pool with Wilbur anyway the numbers would likely come back as a Wilbur win and by the terms of their agreement Wilbur alone would take charge, and if Quackity doesn't pool with anyone and keeps his votes to himself then Wilbur is still given popular vote and still goes on to a solo administration. A Wilbur solo administration at this point in time is the worst case scenario given Wilbur has presented as the biggest threat to everyone thus far, meaning Quackity is absolutely forced to choose one of the other candidates to pool his votes with Either of these options weren't guaranteed to work either, and also weren't ideal even if they did.

So at that point it was just a case of running the numbers of which party was more likely to result in a success/which candidate would be least harmful to the people/easiest to mediate the damages of. Cause at this point they both presented as disasters waiting to happen but they only entered the election the day before and there really wasn't time to scope out just how bad they each were or how public opinion was leaning between them.

Right off the bat Schlatt seems like the more traditionally dangerous option. He's a feral drunk mess whos candidacy announcement consisted of literally hunting the other candidates for sport with sharp deadly weapons. And while chaotic violent shenanigans aren't exactly unheard of on the Dream Smp to the extent that one could reasonably expect to be able to rebuild a respectable reputation after a stunt like that, Schlatt hadn't done so, and Quackity's only impression of him at this point was being chased down with a sword by this creepy old drunk guy who randomly on the spot decided he'd like to be president, actually, so....not exactly inspiring a lot of faith here. But at the same time? Quackity had much bigger things to be scared of from the other candidates than some stabbing. And quite frankly Schlatt being so feral and drunk out of his mind may have even been a relief in some odd way compared to the more calculating and aware candidates. Any damage Schlatt did was likely to at least be less ambitious, more upfront, and likely easier to clean up, at the very least. He seemed simple enough. Manageable, even if more than a bit scary.

Fundy and Niki, on the other hand, were...very different. They were much more openly presentable, at least. They hadn't pulled a knife on anyone at least and apparently the bar's that low for presidential candidates around here. By all means they were relatively friendly, even, in their presentation. They were clearly very out of touch and didn't seem to really get the weight of their position, but that in of itself would be manageable. The more concerning thing, however, is that these are people who are very clearly reckless, at least a bit selfish, and had their own agenda as well. Certainly they weren't as sophisticated as Wilbur. However it was very apparent to near everyone that Fundy and Niki weren't entirely here just for the fun of it. The ever present motive of "Proving My Dad Wrong >:3" (and speaking of, the two being such close friends to wilbur doesn't ease the nerves regarding them) as well as their history of blowing conflict out of proportion (*cough* pet war *cough*) and dragging others into it would have been unnerving and quite frankly whether or not Quackity would have been able to mediate it if they got into anything stupid/reckless/selfish like it seemed at this point he'd likely be able to with Schlatt's more simple behaviours is incredibly uncertain and is a reason not to back them in of itself. Not to mention that they very much seemed the least likely winners between themselves and Schlatt from the word go.

Which means Schlatt, as the more popular of the two, is the best bet of preventing a solo Wilbur administration via vote-pooling. So Quackity chose the seeming lesser of two winners and proposed a coalition. A gambit that paid off as they win by one point and this proves to be the only option that would have prevented a solo Wilbur administration.

But no matter what, the election was...actually super fucked. Like. Almost every option was going to lead right back to Wilbur after his dirty campaigning and the choice to allow in two random new candidates the day before the election, and I actually find the whole thing REALLY interesting specifically because of how fucked it was.

#dream smp #dream smp discourse

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blookmallow · 3 years

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hoouhgh i finally watched hereditary even though i knew it would upset me but i really, really liked midsommar and wanted to give it a shot but it Did, In Fact, Definitely Fucking Upset Me :’) im alright though im just like well! i am never watching That again

anyway it was. really interesting but i feel like i did not understand it at all. heres me trying to untangle some thoughts

- I don’t totally understand the significance of the dollhouse/miniature parallels. something something “a way to control her life/the things happening to her when she Can’t control them” annie is unable to express feelings, so she expresses them in her art (her miniatures) like charlie expresses through drawing

she makes models about her trauma, it seems to be how she processes them, she has models of her mother in hospice care, her mother like an apparition at the bedroom door, and then a graphic model of charlie’s death

- paint seems to be a significant symbol in some places. maybe... paint represents Emotion/grief? annie normally paints her models very, very delicately and carefully, cautiously controlling and keeping the strokes tiny and precise. she spills the paint before she goes to joan’s house for the first time - maybe a spilling of emotion, trauma pouring out in an uncontrolled mess, so it serves as the catalyst for her deciding she needs help (or, if you go with the “everything was predetermined” concept, she spilled the paint specifically to point her to the paper so she would call joan, i guess)

in her sleepwalking state in the past, annie covered herself and her children with paint thinner as a flame accelerant - something to make emotions lesser, to water them down, ultimately to destroy them?

then when she runs into joan again (another Probably Not Coincidence) it’s as she’s coming out of the craft store (possibly, buying more paint, possibly even replacing the spilled paint with something else)

- flame is an obvious important symbol too: charlie sees her grandmother engulfed in flame, her parents are constantly concerned that she’ll freeze because she sleeps in the tree house without heaters and goes out without a coat (possibly she doesn’t feel the cold because of. hell. i dont know) the seance rituals start with a candle flame, dumping water on annie stops the possession

annie slept in the tree house surrounded in heaters, she did feel the cold and tried to protect herself from it, and she thought she was the link to whatever was terrorizing her family but instead of killing her, burning the sketchbook killed her husband instead, so i think that might be implying that annie is not in fact what’s actually causing all of this. im guessing the book burned her at first to stop her from destroying it - as charlie is really the cause, and probably needs it - and then burned the. father whose name i have forgotten instead of her out of spite or to send a “this isn’t about you, and you cannot stop me” message

- i think the death of the pigeon may have been what awakened something in charlie, she cuts off its head and draws the severed head with a crown, both foreshadowing what is about to happen to her, and that she. i guess, is actually. hell royalty. or whatever the fuck that was

she mentions her grandmother wanted her to be a boy, but since peter was born first, i dont understand why this... demon thing passed on to charlie, the second child, instead of the firstborn, who was a boy, which is apparently the demon’s preference. maybe something to do with the fact that annie did not want him and actively tried to miscarry him fucked up the. whatever it is that causes the rebirth

I really just don’t buy that charlie was always a hell demon and never loved anyone in her family? it seems like it took her over or awakened in her as time went on, annie mentions her mother had DID so it’s possible that charlie and. whatever the demon’s name is are in fact two different entities that both lived within charlie (most likely when the grandmother died, it moved to charlie because of the connection charlie had with her. still dont know why charlie was the one groomed into this rather than peter, though)

- there’s a lot of passively Wanting To Die or seeing the inevitability of death; charlie wandered off, slept in the cold, didn’t bring a coat, didn’t bring her epi pen, wasn’t careful about nuts, possibly Knew or at least subconsciously knew that body, that self, was necessarily going to die, and didn’t ultimately matter. she asks her mother “who will take care of me when you die” and weirdly instead of saying something like “don’t worry, I won’t die for a long time” or something reassuring, annie just says “well, then your father will, or peter” almost implying somewhere subconsciously she knows she’s going to die too

when charlie died, annie in her grief screamed that she wanted to die too. her unconscious self tried to kill her children and herself before, and may have tried to strangle peter (it’s unclear if that actually happened or if it was the demon and peter thought it was his mother or if it was a hallucination/nightmare altogether) and she actively tried to miscarry to prevent peter from being born in the first place

im not sure what exactly that means. could be that annie subconsciously could feel the trauma and tragedy that was, inevitably, coming for her and her family and was trying to kill them all to save them from it (but was horrified on realizing this, as she didn’t consciously know this) but her attempts always failed because the demon stopped her from denying fate

- it’s very odd to me that the father is never included in these incidents, though. we see almost nothing of his own emotional self or grief. the demon never affects him at all until the moment of his death and even then it feels like he was only killed to hurt annie and peter

we see his anger, but it comes out like annoyance rather than grief, we don’t see him break down until way, way later when he’s alone in a car with his unconscious son (he makes a sudden stop, and. nothing happens, but it’s possible something in the physical act of... almost getting in an accident, almost having That Happen Again, himself, might have snapped something in him)

then they come home, and annie goes from relief that her husband in the front seat is okay, to immediate panic realizing, once again, her child is unresponsive in the back seat with a head injury (though obviously way less severe. he uh. he still had a head)

so. parallels. i lost where i was going with that thought. the demon doesn’t seem interested in the father at all and he seems to be completely emotionally disconnected from his family and his life and im not sure what purpose that serves

- on predestination: charlie’s treehouse may have always been a cult temple (then, did sleeping there affect her spiritually/mentally, or did she want to sleep there because the demon was already in her?)

we don’t know the extent of joan’s involvement in their lives. she knew annie’s mother, so she’s been involved The Whole Goddamn Time, but we don’t know how far that influence goes. she could have had a hand in putting the nuts in the cake somehow (knew someone there, recommended the recipe, something). peter swerves because there was a dead animal in the road - joan and/or the other cultists could have put it there. joan probably was waiting for annie at the grief counseling group and could have followed her to the craft store to stage an “incidental” meet up (annie is the one who notices her and calls out to her, but she could have just been making herself visible expecting that she would probably see her - if she keeps showing up places and reaching out to her first, annie might become suspicious that she’s doing it on purpose)

she gives annie the means to talk to her daughter’s spirit, knowing that she’s broken and desperate and will likely do it (probably knowing she’s a medium already, too), knowing that this will make contact with the demon (the incantation she gives her is probably specifically for that purpose - since annie can’t read the language, she wouldn’t know this. the moral here is don’t read weird ancient latin texts out loud) , and knowing that annie will then blame herself for what she perceives is what she’s done to her family - when really, it was the plan all along

anyway. uh. that sure was a lot

#liveblog general #media analysis

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dramaticviolincrescendo · 4 years

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Ian and Monica vs. Yevgeny and Svetlana

That’s right. I’m going to do a meta post. Because this fantastic gifset from @sickness-health-all-that-shit got me thinking about something from a different angle. I’m not sure if this has been noted in the fandom before since I’m still relatively new compared to the Shameless veterans, so sorry in advance if this has been talked about to death.

From the time Ian returns in season four through the last occasion when we see him with Yevgeny in season six, it’s pretty clear that he loves that kid almost as much as Svetlana does and far more than Mickey seems to. Obviously, Mickey has a lot of justifiable reasons for not feeling particularly paternal towards Yevgeny that I won’t get into here, and we do see a bit of a shift in the police station on that front for the first time. However, the fact of the matter is that Ian is more of a father to Yevgeny than Mickey--even Svetlana mentions his help when she’s talking to Kev. In my meta-viewing rounds, I’ve seen a lot about how Yevgeny’s relation to Mickey and Ian being just a genuinely kind, compassionate person play a huge role here. I agree. There is, however, an enormous parallel with his own upbringing that I want to explore at length, and since writing is kind of my medium, I figured I’d do it here. (Again, if this has been talked about before, please continue scrolling and have a wonderful day! :D )

Ian has mommy issues.

Ian also has daddy issues.

There. I said it.

All the Gallagher kids have issues with Frank and Monica, and we see them “act out” throughout the series in ways that would indicate that they suffer from a level of trauma strongly associated with their parents. For now, let’s focus on Ian’s since he’s who this post is ultimately about.

Frank:

Unlike the rest of the Gallagher siblings, we don’t really see much happening directly between Frank and Ian without the rest of the family involved in the first four seasons prior to Ian meeting Yevgeny. To my knowledge, all they really have is a brief deleted scene conversation and Frank offering “advice” when Ian is trying to warn him that Mickey is upset. Their other interactions tend to be more negative, with Frank beating on Ian or Ian joining the rest of his siblings in getting Frank out of the house. At the end of the first season, he even finds out that Frank isn’t actually his biological father. His speech to Lip and behavior for the rest of the series seem to indicate that it doesn’t matter to him and he still considers Frank his father regardless, but that was a heck of a smack to the face when he was already growing up with Frank’s special brand of manipulation and neglect.

So, where does that lead him? Places where a child his age shouldn’t have been. Interacting with much older men who preyed on him rather than trying to find him help or just staying away. They had an aura of stability that we have seen time and again is what Ian craves, through ROTC and West Point and these relationships with people who seemingly have their shit together. (In reality, we all know it’s a facade. Kash and Ned absolutely do not have their shit together, and Ian’s demeanor around them visibly shifts when he finally sees that with Kash shooting Mickey and Ned’s family falling apart.) As with Frank, he is willing and able to let them go when he realizes that they are more of the same: another deadbeat.

Now, let’s table that and come back to it in a moment.

Monica:

Ian’s relationship with Monica clearly has a greater impact on him throughout the series in more ways than merely their shared bipolar situations. She’s the only biological parent he has, and she’s definitely the only parent that has shown him any real affection from what we’ve seen. (Until the wedding. I’ll give Frank a few karma points for not causing trouble and being happy for Ian.) Monica loves him--he knows that. Unfortunately, he also knows that that love is not enough to keep her around or make her a better mother to any of her children. If anything, the combination of her affection, his grudging love for her, and her disorder render any efforts she does make counterproductive. For example, Frank has never engaged with Ian’s dreams of becoming a soldier, but when Monica finds out that that is his goal and that he’s upset about not having the grades for West Point, she hauls him right over to the recruitment office. To her, it’s an act of adoration. Everybody else knows it’s insane: Ian was underage and shouldn’t have been anywhere near there. Just like he shouldn’t have been anywhere near clubs, being objectified. Monica wasn’t being malicious. She seriously thought that she was doing what was best for him in her own way. Her own way just happened to be really messed up. To a large extent, it seems like Ian recognizes this fairly early on until he gets sick and doesn’t know who to turn to.

Rather than write her off the way he does Frank, however, Ian stays in touch with her behind his siblings’ backs. He knows she isn’t a good influence and that they would be appalled if he told them that they still talk. But he cares. She’s important to him. Fiona is fantastic, but she’s his sister. This is his mother, who obviously loves him even at her worst. He can’t let that go. He has to cling to that one parent in the same way that the others cling to Frank at various points in the earlier seasons before he burns their final bridges at one moment or another.

Character Foils: Yevgeny, Svetlana, and Mickey

I think Ian’s relationship with his parents is a huge reason for why Ian behaves the way he does with Yevgeny in part based on the timing. It doesn’t begin when he moves into the Milkovich house. It doesn’t start with the obligation if he is going to live with Mickey since Svetlana isn’t going anywhere. Even though his discomfort over Mickey going to the baptism surfaces afterward, Ian starts actively trying to take care of Yevgeny the same day he sees that baby. Why bother? He hasn’t shown any concern for Svetlana before. He even sarcastically congratulated Mickey when they found out she was in labor without actually pushing for either of them to be there. Why does he decide at that moment to get involved, knowing that Mickey wouldn’t be happy about it and that Svetlana wouldn’t accept the charity from him, of all people?

Well, because it’s a painfully similar situation to what he’s accustomed to, isn’t it?

Mickey left home, just like Frank. (I’m not saying he didn’t have a good reason: he had a lot of trauma to endure that Frank didn’t. Frank not wanting kids has nothing on what Mickey went through to wind up here.) He didn’t want a baby. He didn’t want to be a father. He is just chilling at the Gallaghers’ house, both of them pretending that things are the way they used to be because the changes aren’t right in front of their faces anymore. When Svetlana walks through the front door looking for him not because they’re married, but because of the baby? When Mickey doesn’t care? Regardless of the reasons, that has to look familiar to Ian in practice.

Svetlana gives a shit. She’s willing to threaten Mickey with something that could end his life (if Terry were so inclined) if he doesn’t step up to support their child. Again, she’s not asking him at that point to be a husband. She doesn’t ask him to move back in, and when she does later, there’s no reason to believe that Ian knows about it since he wasn’t there. For her, it comes down to love for her child as far as Ian is concerned. She’s got problems--there’s no denying that. But she loves her kid more than anything. She comes to find Mickey for the first time looking frazzled because their kid needs things. When Ian needed to feel better about Mickey going to juvie, Monica was there. When Ian needed to be comforted about his future, Monica was there. By that point, Monica was even there for him when he went into a severe manic episode, ran away from the army, got kicked out of Ned’s condo, and had nowhere else to go. She didn’t stick around, as Monica’s MO tends to dictate, but she was there when he was in need and was gone when he reached a state of what she would define as stability. (We know he wasn’t stable. Dear heavens, he was so not stable.)

It’s not Yevgeny’s fault that his parents are kind of a shitshow (courtesy of Terry, of course), just like it wasn’t Ian’s fault that Frank and Monica were the same. Yevgeny was born into an awful situation he can’t control. Ian must understand that better than almost anybody. By this time, his older siblings have found a sense of control over their lives while Ian’s whole world is bouncing up and down around him, spinning too fast for him to keep up.

Ian has something that Yevgeny doesn’t: experience. This kid is just getting started, but Ian has already been there. He’s grown up with a dad that doesn’t want him and a mother who loves him, although his own mother didn’t stick around the way Svetlana did. Then again, Ian barely knew Svetlana beyond her occupation, so for all he knew, even that wouldn’t last. Maybe she would go the same way as Monica.

Nobody would have wanted that for Ian, and it only makes sense that he wouldn’t want it for Yevgeny.

So, he steps up right away. He doesn’t have time to go through the mental process of coming to terms with the fact that this is Mickey’s kid and how he’s going to need stability. That much is obvious when he questions why Mickey is going to the baptism only to be told, “He’s my son, man.” It clearly hadn’t registered for him entirely, they’d been so encapsulated in the bubble they’d built for themselves when Ian came home.

Tl;dr - That gut-instinct to act? That immediate response to seeing--not hearing--that Yevgeny needed things that parents were supposed to provide for their children? Ian is such a kind-hearted person that I don’t put it past him for an instant to do what he could, but I think his own upbringing played a large role in the decision. He wasn’t looking for praise or to get Svetlana off of Mickey’s back. He saw a newborn baby who was in danger of growing up with a father who didn’t want him and a mother who loved him but perhaps not enough to save him someday.

Just like Ian.

#shameless us #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #svetlana milkovich #yevgeny milkovich #frank gallagher #monica gallagher #it's ian gallagher loving hours #again #it's always ian gallagher loving hours #meta

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saibh29 · 4 years

Text

The Truth in the Past (Part 1)

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Implied NSFW ( pretty vague), Messed up relationships

AN: New series starting now! I’ve found a bit of inspiration for Jay baby Halstead (oh I’ve also finally finished Minor Head Trauma, so after I edit should be posted tomorrow)

You’ve covered for your sister all your life to such an extent you don’t know anymore where she ends and you begin, or how to even stop a relationship that’s now more toxic than good.

******

Jay casually folded his arms back behind his head, propping himself up slightly in the bed. The thin sheet was pulled up just above his hips covering the fact that he was still very naked underneath. His blue eyes were focused on the scantily clad figure of the young woman currently pulling your smart black skirt into place over legs you’d only just put stockings back onto.

“So...” he started “…you ever think you’re gonna manage a full night?”

Your sharp y/e/c eyes glanced up at him from behind loose dark bangs. “Don’t push Jay,” you muttered finishing your skirt by pulling the zip at the side up to the top of the waistband.

“Push” he repeated softly “you think I’m pushing when after 6 months of doing this most nights you still insist in running off into the dark?”

Another glare “yeah I think your pushing” you snapped twisting to look round the room “Where is my bloody bra?” you hissed, your English accent normally soft and fairly unnoticeable got much thicker when you were angry.

Jay smirked and leaning over picked something up off the bedside table beside him holding up the offending purple lace article of clothing on one finger for you to see.

You snatched it off him silently before quickly clipping it back on then grabbing your blouse from the bottom of the bed you started to button it, pausing only to curse once more when you noticed that Jay hadn’t been too careful when ripping it off you, meaning you were missing more than a few buttons.

“Dammit Jay, this is the third one you’ve ruined. My clothes aren’t cheap”

“Send me a bill”

You ignored that, instead pulling off the ruined shirt and instead grabbing his navy flannel, you quickly buttoned it up and tucked the baggy ends into you skirt, it didn’t look great, but you weren’t out to make any fashion statements right now.

You then looked over at Jay; he was silent, waiting for you to answer his previous question no doubt. Sighing you raked a hand through your messy shoulder length hair.

“You know full well I can’t stay” you grabbed the pair of black stilettos and slipped your feet back into them.

Jay sat up as you stared down at him from the foot of the bed. Your hair was mussed from your previous activities, your lips were still slightly swollen and free of the normal gloss you wore, you had faint red marks on your jaw and neck from his stubble and even though he’d just had you he still wanted to rip that shirt straight back off you and pull you down beside him.

“I know you believe that you have to leave. Again.”

You bent down and leant your hands on the mattress so your face was level with his, reaching forward to press your lips to his once more.

“I’ll see you” you pushed yourself up once more and turned for the door to his bedroom. He could see the tension in your shoulders and even though he knew he shouldn’t do it, he found himself speaking again anyhow

“Y/N?”

You stopped but didn’t turn back around to face him, just stood with your hand on the handle of the door. “What?”

He could barely hear your voice, but somehow he was certain he’d heard the small stutter in your word. “Don’t leave”

This time you did turn around, your eyes meeting his and holding. He could see the indecision on your face, the overwhelming need to both run and stay.

“Come back to bed”

Eventually he saw the answer he didn’t want to on your face. Running had won and without another word your turned and fled. He heard the front door of his apartment open and close and then you were gone. Leaving nothing but the still slight warmth of your body on his sheets and the smell of your shampoo on his pillows.

******

You sat breathing deeply in the front seat of your car. You could still feel Jay’s hands on your skin; hear the whimpers he’d pulled from your throat.

It was getting harder and harder to leave him.

Which presented problems that you’d really rather not face at the moment. The first time it had happened, you’d told yourself that it would never happen again. You couldn’t make the mistake of allowing yourself to fall for the tall dashing detective. Somehow though no matter how much you told yourself it would never happen again, it always did, until now 6 months on you were in much deeper than you wanted to admit even to yourself.

The passenger side door of your car opened and an almost identical version of yourself slumped down into the seat.

You turned to stare at your sister Y/S/N. The only difference physically between the two of you was the length of your hair where yours was shoulder length with heavy bangs Y/S/N was long and wavy.

“Your late Y/S/N” you said hitting the ignition of the car.

Y/S/N smiled and leaning over tugged on the neckline of your way too big shirt, it obviously didn’t belong to you.

“And you’ve been doing something naughty” she teased. “You bedded the detective again huh?”

You smacked your sister’s hand away with a scowl. “You still have a feather in your hair” was your only response.

Y/S/N just smirked as she flicked the mirror down and picked the feather out of her hair. Closing the compact without checking any other part of her reflection.

“Still haven’t fessed up about me either, have you?”

You sighed and wrenched the car around a tight corner. “We’re not that close”

“You’ve been there almost every night this week Y/N. Trust me you’re close”

Your mouth tightened as you gripped hard to the steering wheel.

“Would it really be so bad? to just admit you like him and let yourself go for once?”

“What like you do?” you snapped. The words coming out before you could check them. You instantly felt guilty though as y/s/n fell silent. She sighed heavily “I’m sorry Y/S/N there was no reason for that”

“You know, what I do isn’t that bad Y/N” she said softly “I know I screwed up before, and I know you covered my arse, but do I really still embarrass you so much you have to ruin your life over me?”

You shook your head. It wasn’t just your sister anymore. She wasn’t the reason you were hiding from Jay. You could at least admit that to yourself.

“You don’t embarrass me Y/S/N”

She snorted this time, as the car pulled to a stop outside the apartment the two of you shared. “Sure I do. Its why I’ve never met a single one of the people you work with, why I don’t meet your friends and why most of the people in your life don’t even know you have a twin”

You opened your mouth to deny it, but the words wouldn’t come out. Your sister hadn’t ever met anyone you worked with or many of your friends and to deny that was unfair to her. At first it had been because you were embarrassed about what your sister was, about what you yourself had been, now though you weren’t so sure what it was that kept you silent.

“I’m sorry Y/S/N”

She shrugged her slender shoulders. “Don’t be”

You stayed sat in the car as you watched your sister walk up to the front door of your apartment building and disappear inside.

There was no denying that your life was getting far too complicated for its own good. One lie led straight to another and soon enough everything was going to tumble down on you. Maybe your sister was right, you should take a chance and tell Jay the truth.

****

@lifesaclimb-buttheviewisgreat @lclb13 @moli1497 @clementines-x @the-chosen-one-time-lord @no-other-names-availible-blog @angelaiswriting @selldraug @angryares @thenovarose @georgiagrl1990 @mindofthescattered @dontstopxx @iamabeautifulperson18 @madelinecraig03 @ka-x-in @mesmericbell @weirdpotato-14 @putinontheritzz @soulslaststand @fuckthatfeeling @ember1201 @morganlb23 @tomhopperarms @fakingintrest @artprincessbree @dreamer-lover-laughter @artprincessbree @rime-warrior @captainvaneswife @kapolisradomthoughts @thingsandstuffienjoy @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @aya-fay @itsbubbaog @hp-hogwartsexpress @emmykinzs @thatbadassunicorn @sassywingednightmare @weirdnewbie @goyawriter @shipperfangirling @nathaliabakes @stillreadingfantasy @waywardblueshun

#Chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd fanfic #one chicago #Jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x oc #jay halstead x imagine #jay halstead x ofc #halstead #detective halstead #halstead x you #you #reader #imagine #fanfic #insert

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ernmark · 4 years

Note

In regards to Juno and Peter's relationship dynamic for the next few episodes following The Conversation, I'm of the opinion (like lots of other fans) that it would be really surprising if they got together this early. But it's clear they really want to be together at some level. Do you think it's possible they might become lovers? Not boyfriends, not (officially) confessing any romantic feelings, but something deeper than just being teammates.

There are really a lot of ways this can go, depending on what the big picture is meant to look like. So here’s a breakdown of a couple possibilities and some things that stand out about them:

Juno and Peter become sexual partners right away.

1) Peter has flat-out said (with Nova) that he’d be perfectly willing to get into a relationship he wasn’t into in order to get what he wants or needs. We also know that he’s been running from and repressing things long enough that his judgement and emotional awareness are… not that great right now. So yes, he could very easily decide that he wants Juno, and choose to pursue him sexually before he’s in the right place emotionally to do so.

2) This line right here:

And he goes on like that for some time. I hear his apology, but more than that I hear his voice and I hear him… (Man in Glass)

He’s really deep in thought, and we know now that when he does that, he has a tendency to glaze over important contextual details. There is a very real possibility that Peter doesn’t realize the extent of the shit Juno’s been through (not least because Juno’s trying to apologize, not exonerate himself), and doesn’t realize the mental state Juno’s been in or just how fragile he is right now.

3) Juno is working hard on doing better, but it’s not that easy. There are days that will still be really bad, and on those days he’s going to be most vulnerable to backsliding and making bad choices. Notably, he just came back from his first proper criminal heist and (in his mind) he screwed it up big time, and he clearly blamed himself for how badly it went.

NUREYEV: Well? I… apologize if my tone seems short, Captain, but I’ve received quite a lot of criticism for my performance today already.BUDDY: You and Juno both, yes. Most of all from yourselves. (Man in Glass)

Like I said, that leaves him vulnerable to bad choices, whether he’s choosing to self-harm by getting into an intimate relationship he knows he’s not ready for, or whether he’s choosing to cling frantically to any scrap of affection and affirmation that he can find– or both at the same time. So if Peter were to push even slightly for it, Juno would probably consent (just like he did in Final Resting Place).

4) Peter was ready to bone Juno after a few hours of knowing him, and his idea of helping Juno cope with mutilation and extended trauma by sleeping with him. To Peter, sex is a simple, easy solution to quite a number of problems. As much as Peter and Juno are in sync, as much as they work well together, they’re not great at really communicating yet. So I really do think that Peter might try to skip past the whole “boyfriends” thing and go straight to “lovers” and not fully realize why that might be a bad way to go with this particular situation.

My thoughts: this one is uncomfortably likely, but it’ll go very badly before it gets any better. Here, the source of conflict is very much internal.

——-

Juno and Peter become Close, but take it slow

This one’s a more optimistic take. Juno recognizes his own self-destructive tendencies well enough to tread carefully; Peter is so inspired by Juno’s transformation that he chooses to really invest the necessary time and energy into all that uncomfortable communication stuff.

Whether or not they think of themselves as Together, whether or not they’re public about that information, the entire crew will know within minutes of it happening, because they’re all Like That.

There’s still room for conflict, because that’s what being human is, but I expect less focus on the two of them with each other and more focus on their interactions with other characters, with them coming together for support.

This level of growth would be pretty much unheard of in mainstream media (especially so quickly), but the Vibert and Kaner are actually pretty awesome when it comes to growth and development, so it’s less of a long shot.

My thoughts: this one would keep the focus on growth and self-care at the expense of drama, and likely at the expense of shared screentime between the two of them. Here, the source of conflict would have to move to something external, both with the plot and with the crew.

——-

Peter doesn’t actually accept the apology

It’s very notable that we never actually heard Peter reply to Juno’s apology. We heard that he wants to stay, but we’ve also heard him juxtapose that fear with a powerful desire to flee.

Maybe he closes himself off further. Maybe he leaves outright, fearing that he can’t be part of this family when he’s still so in love with Juno.

Twice now we’ve seen Juno seem to give in to his feelings, only to deny Peter’s advances and leave him– once when he turned Peter over to the cops, and once in The Final Resting Place. This could very easily be Peter’s opportunity to do the same.

In mainstream media this would be incredibly likely, because it draws out the romantic conflict with at least another season’s worth of unnecessary pining and drama.

My thoughts: I don’t think it’s going to happen here.

—–

Peter pursues Juno, who doesn’t reciprocate

See the above for my reasoning: Peter’s seven different kinds of a mess right now, and it’s very easy for him to idealize Juno and the progress he’s made. So why not go full tilt into a relationship? That’ll fix everything, right???

Meanwhile, Juno is actively working on his shit, he has Jet and Rita and (to a slightly lesser extent) Buddy as a support network, and he has very recent past experience to tell him that diving right in would be a mistake. So he admits the desire to make it work, but politely declines.

Which Peter interprets as “you were a dick to me so you’ve got to woo me all over again”.

Improperly handled, it could potentially get really creepy, but I think I’ve made it clear that I trust these guys.

You could get an interesting mix of internal/external conflict going on here, where they keep it friendly and supportive (thus leaning on other characters/plot for conflict) but Peter spends some time obviously pining, slowly realizes why Juno refused him, and comes to the realization that he needs to work on himself for his own sake.

My thoughts: I mean, I’d read it.

#the penumbra podcast #penumbra meta #this is a podcast fanblog #100

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reynesofcastamere · 4 years

Text

Jagged Crowns(1/2)[β]

(A/N: I had a bit of an internal debate as to whether I should keep writing while...Well, some parts of our world are in a rapid spiral towards a fascist dystopian nightmare due to centuries of institutionalized racism, ignorance, and hair-trigger violence, among other things. I understand that I will never fully comprehend what POC have suffered, because the system has been rigged in my favour since before I was born. There is much and more that can and has been said on the subject, but to summarize: It is not my intention to further harmful ideas/depictions or to hurt people via this self-indulgent outlet. If I have done so(and not given appropriate warnings), please do not hesitate to inform me so that I may correct this. That said, warnings for: gore, violence, death, intrusive thoughts, mental breakdown/hallucinations, and suicidal ideation. The prompt for this was ‘Ahsoka helping Maul through his own struggles, since he’s pretty much on the verge of insanity at all times.’ Unbeta’d.)

In the end, there is no need for a chosen one. No bright, wide-eyed youth to take up a burning sword and the incalculable burden of ridding the galaxy of an oppressive evil. The reality turns out to be less of a legend and more of a horror story.

The Royal Palace is littered with the dead and dying, but there is only one that matters. Sidious is still immensely powerful, but his body has grown old and slow, and there are only so many guards he can sacrifice to protect himself. Overcoming his Force lightning, preventing bones and organs from being crushed, protecting their minds from invasion and violation: That is much harder. But finally, finally Maul strikes off the Emperor’s head as Ahsoka’s twin ‘sabres pierce his shriveled, black heart. She steps back. He keeps going, slicing and hacking until the throne is in pieces, the floor is a cross-hatch of burning lines, and what was once an Emperor is nothing more than a pile of charred meat and cloth.

“Is this...Am I free? No, this was too easy. Master always has a contingency plan.” He does not even realize he is voicing these thoughts, too occupied with searching the Force for something, any trace of Sidious’s presence. Foolish child. You thought you could defeat ME? I know your every pitiful thought, every scheme you concocted while you wriggled, a blind maggot encased in filth. “Be silent.” Maul snarls, fingertips coiled around his anterior horns, palms pressed into his eyelids. “Focus. Focus. Search for him, he cannot hide from us.” There is another voice, outside his head, but he cannot hear it. He has to know. Yet despite the venomous hiss that tries to steal away his concentration, there is...nothing. The Dark Side is empty of even the barest wisp of his Master. “Gone. Gone at last. Finally I have achieved Bane’s will...” He laughs, long and erratically pitched. Not a comforting sound, or even a sane one. Wait. There is something. He uncovers his eyes and re-opens them. Someone before him, unlit ‘sabres in hand. Another rival apprentice. Another test. “Have I not done enough to prove myself?” Maul whispers, disbelieving and enraged all at once. No. You must destroy all who would stand in your way if you wish to claim my power. Prove that you are worthy and strike them down! “Yes, my Master.” He had dropped his sabrestaff before -careless, stupid, he could have been killed-, but it leaps eagerly into his hand and activates as he begins his assault. He cannot seem to get a clear picture of his opponent, their form shadowed and not entirely solid around the edges. He sees their weapons clearly enough, though, especially when they clash with his own. His rival is on the defensive, parrying his strikes but not counterattacking. He cannot hear their words past the blood rushing in his ears, infuriated by this insult. Is he so weak that they do not even think him worth the effort of assaulting?! Maul drives them back, seeking to disarm, to maim, to kill, but he cannot connect. He resorts to yanking their legs out from under them with the Force, lips curled in a feral snarl as he raises his sabrestaff for the final blow...Then the Light bursts into his mind with the force of a battering ram, and he can feel-These thoughts, this presence, he knows it-Mine, this warmth is mine, cast from the star forever out of my reach. Ahsoka Tano looks up at him, eyes wide from exertion and fear. “Maul. Please, stop.” His legs give out from under him, weapon deactivated and slipping from his suddenly-nerveless fingers. He does not know how long it takes for her to come to him. Seconds, or perhaps years, her hands circling his face as their lips meet. He pulls her close, fervent and desperate in his passion. Yes. This is fitting. One last time, before the end. “You must kill me.” A whisper when they part for air, watching her blink in confusion. “What are you talking about?” “I have never fought for your hope of a restored Republic. You know this. You have prepared for it. Sidious is dead and I will inevitably take control of his Empire. Unless you stop me.” “I don’t have to murder you to accomplish that.” “Ah, so you are content to truss me up like a rabid animal and let your superiors toss me in a cage or cut off my head. How noble.” “No.” “Why? Because you believe that they will not take the opportunity to rid themselves of a long-standing nuisance? Or that they will simply leave me in peace because our goals aligned temporarily?” He summons her shoto to his right hand, snarling in frustration as he presses it to her left. “You are neither sentimental or naive, Ahsoka Tano. Do not hesitate.” For a moment, it seems as if she will go through with it. As if white light and the deep blue of her eyes will be the last things he sees. It is not the nature of the Sith, to surrender to death’s embrace so readily. But Maul has...never been a true Sith, and he is so very tired. The voices in his head are blessedly silent, yet it is only a temporary reprieve. Without purpose, without vengeance or ambition, he will lose himself again. “Stop running, Maul.” Her voice is firm, and oh, she burns bright enough to blind him, but he cannot tear his eyes away. Ahsoka takes her weapon from him, sets it down, and entwines their fingers instead. “You’re right. I know who you are and what you can do. I also know you’re capable of more than that.” He cannot breathe. What has she done, to make him feel this way? That there might be hope of being...something other than this? “Did you really think I didn’t notice all these years? The small acts of compassion and honour...Palpatine didn’t rip those away from you.” She is so warm, so willing to offer up these things he has blatantly denied himself and others. “A foolish dream.” Maul rebuts, but there is no real strength behind it. His left arm holds her more tightly, both for emotional and practical purposes. He is not certain how much longer he can remain even partially upright. “It doesn’t have to be. Join me.” Ahsoka offers. “There’s still Vader, Thrawn, and a whole mess of other Imperials to defeat or force surrender from. But after...We can try to build something of our own.” Her right thumb lightly brushes over his cheek. “Won’t be easy, but it’s a chance for both of us to try something different.” “You will regret this decision. Soon.” He points out dryly. There is only so much optimism he is willing to endure, even in this state. She only laughs. “And you haven’t driven me insane. Yet. I don’t expect either one of us to be perfect at this from the start. Just to try.” Her hand curves down and around, lightly dragging her nails up his nape and eliciting a low rumble from him. “Aren’t you going to give me your answer?” Her smile cements the fact that she is utterly devious beneath her relatively-harmless exterior and he will get her back for this later. “You. Are an unrepentant tease. And I will greatly enjoy administering your punishment.” He growls, both impressed and frustrated by her manipulation. “But I am willing to see whether this insane notion of yours will work.” His agreement brings a smile from her, but not before she rolls her eyes and gives a small, exasperated exhale. “‘Yes’ would have worked fine, you know.” “And since when have I ever passed up the opportunity to frustrate you, my Lady?” “Ass. Mmmmph...”

“Care to rephrase that?”

“No. You are the worst. But I might be persuaded to change my opinion.”

“Let us see if I am up to the challenge, then.”

This is merely the beginning of a very long, hard road. Yet neither one of them will walk it alone, and that makes all the difference.

(A/N:Things I didn’t include in the top note because it was getting a bit wordy: This is set around 5-ish BBY, so Thrawn isn’t a Grand Admiral yet, only an Admiral(or possibly Commander, depending on when his promotion happened). Obviously certain canon events didn’t happen (ie Malachor), and Maul and Ahsoka have been in a sort-of relationship for about a decade at this point. Also, sorry, they didn’t have sex in the throne room. Just makeouts and soul-searching. This is absolutely a starting point. Neither character is ‘cured’ of their various issues/traumas by the end of this installment even if they are being semi-cute and flirty. This is...not what I would consider a realistic way to handle someone being triggered/having a delusional episode, but I digress. *notices that fics that have started with gore or violent imagery have mostly ended in fluff* -_-....Hm...Well, that’s a pattern. Or possibly a problem. Cheers, everyone!)

#maulsoka #so much offscreen murder in this #except for Palpatine #because he is a BastardTM #I've decided to remove the 5-number limit and keep my askbox open for prompts/requests #for the moment #all of you are awesome btw

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thealpacalypse-archive · 5 years

Text

A handy guide to avoid accidental transphobia

For cis people in the Druck fandom who write fic, headcanons or meta and don’t wanna mess up

Including questions like: Is David trans? Is he beautiful? Is he wearing a binder this whole damn time?? What’s his story?

hey everybody, I’ve debated making this post for a while now because I don’t want to seem ungrateful to the people who are already trying, and I know that there are other trans people in this fandom who are already doing a pretty good job educating people, but then again, why not share my thoughts as well.

In this post, I’ll collect a few headcanons, meta, and other discussions that i’ve seen around here and that made me personally uncomfortable - now be aware that i’m only one trans person and that other people can have other opinions on this, but also i’ve done trans activism for a few years now and i’m a gender studies major, so I definitely know what i’m talking about. also, a fair warning: this is gonna get long as heck. okay, let’s go.

Is David trans? The truth is: We don’t know yet. We only know that the actor who plays him, Lukas Alexander, is a trans guy. Now I’ve seen various people speculate if that automatically has to mean that David is trans as well, and obviously, no. David could be cis for all we know, and yes, casting trans actors in cis roles can be a pretty cool thing. However, if you’re cis, it would be cool if you reblog trans people’s opinions on this instead of shouting loudly about your own opinion, especially if it is that David should be cis for whatever reason. Why is that problematic? Trans activists are currently fighting for representation in media. There aren’t many trans characters we can look up to, especially not such young characters in a show that has such a big impact on a generation of young people. Many trans teenagers have never seen themselves represented in media, and many trans adults like myself are still craving for that good, good representation. Most of the time when we get trans characters, they’re played by cis actors - and because it’s mostly cis men who play trans women and cis women who play trans men, it perpetuates the idea that trans people are just especially well dressed up men and women who trick people into believing they’re ‘the other sex’. (ugh) Even though that’s a different problem, it links to this one as well, because trans stories in media are rare, and it’s even rarer to have them portrayed by trans actors. Yes, it would be revolutionary and gender-redefining if trans actors could play cis characters (or just characters whose cis or trans status is never brought up in the first place), but that’s one step ahead of the game in my opinion and tbh, cis people saying that they want David to be cis for whatever reason is just... suspicious.

Is David beautiful? Well, I’m sure we can all agree that this boy is a sight for sore eyes, and i’m pretty proud of this fandom for weeding out the transphobic assholes who called him ugly at the beginning of the season. I’m sure by now they’ve all seen the error of their ways because HECK, in levels of attractiveness, David is a king. Though it might not be the best to call him ‘beautiful’, ‘pretty’ or other usually female-gendered words when you’re cis and describing him. Why is that problematic? Listen, there’s absolutely nothing inherently bad about calling boys pretty or beautiful or whatever - I personally am an absolute goner when it comes to soft boys™ and their aesthetics, and I also think that denying boys to be soft and pretty is misogyny in a way, because it’s implying that female-coded things are bad. However, there are many trans boys (and other trans and nonbinary folks who were assigned female at birth) who feel uncomfortable when these words are used for them because it can be linked to misgendering or remind them of times before they were out. Trans people are often highly aware of their body and looks, because the way we look is heavily observed, judged and policed by society, and most of the time, being seen the (gendered) way we identify is the only way we get respect and basic decency. We don’t know yet if David personally has a problem with being called beautiful or whatever, but we also don’t know how the actor who plays him feels about that, and there are a couple of trans boys in this fandom who’ve already expressed their discomfort with these words. So in order to protect them and make this fandom safe for them, it seems like a small price to pay to consider our choice of words more carefully when we describe David, and try to avoid female-coded words.

What about David’s chest? Now this one is tricky. I’ve seen discussions about it a lot: Does David wear a binder, did he wear it the whole time he was with Matteo, does he maybe not even bind, did he have a mastectomy? The underlying tone of these discussions is worry - we all want David to be safe and comfortable, and seriously, let me tell you once and for all: a binder shouldn’t be worn longer than 8 hours a day, it shouldn’t be worn when sleeping, and it shouldn’t be worn when doing sports (also relevant for our jock boy). It’s not safe and it can heavily damage the breast tissue, ribs, and lungs - it can be literally life-threatening. It’s perfectly fine to worry about this, but it still feels uncomfortable to watch cis people debate the state of a trans boy’s body in such detail. Why is that problematic? Trans people’s bodies have always been scrutinized and judged - by medicine, by the state, by society as a whole. We always have to prove ourselves and our bodies, and convince people that we’re not just tricking them into believing we’re someone we are not. A lot of ‘true womanhood’ or ‘true manhood’ apparently revolves around genitalia, at least cis people seem to think so. Which is why so many trans people (and let’s be real here, especially trans women) have to deal with the question: “Have you had the surgery yet?” - meaning, did they already undergo the one surgery among the various ones trans people might consider, that reshapes their genitalia in a way that is acceptable to society. Cis people often use these questions about our bodies and the way we change them to delegitimatize us and take away our status as a ‘real’ man or woman. Other than that, trans people’s bodies often get portrayed as something freakishly exotic by cis people; there’s a certain voyeurism about it, and it often gets sexualized - just look at the way trans women are treated in mainstream porn. Cis people examining our bodies, theorizing about what kind of operations we’ve had or haven’t had yet, and possibly sexualizing or belittling/dehumanizing us for it, that will always be very thin ice, because it comes with a lot of emotional baggage for trans people individually and as a community.

What’s David’s backstory? We’re all wondering that, especially since Druck is mixing up the whole Skam setting so much and we really don’t know what they have in store for us. Obviously I’m just as thirsty for theories as the rest of the fandom, but I’ve also read a few things that kinda irked me. Here’s what to avoid: Referring to David as a girl or female in any way, speaking about him in the past with “she/her”-pronouns or coming up with a deadname for him. Oh lord please don’t. It’s nothing but misgendering and it’s so, so wrong. If you’re cis, also please reconsider posting headcanons for his backstory that contain heavy transphobia. Not only can that trigger trans people in the fandom (please use trigger warnings for that stuff, okay?), but there’s also a long history of cis people taking trans narratives away from us and making them only about suffering and pain. Sure, dysphoria sucks, the discrimination sucks, but me, a trans person, complaining about these things is WAY different from a cis person fantasizing about a really painful, possibly violent life for a trans character. Sure I want realism and I want a platform where we can discuss the truly awful experiences many of us have because we’re trans, but I wish that cis people would boost trans voices for that instead of coming up with their own fucked up fantasies about how badly a trans character might have been treated. If you’re writing fic or meta and you want to find an explanation why David changed schools so close to the end of the school year, you don’t have to dig deep into the trans pain to explain it. It’s not that uncommon for trans people to change schools, work places, etc. once they’ve transitioned far enough to feel comfortable - a new start makes the stuff like name changes, new gender presentation, etc. easier. And even if David’d move is related to transphobic experiences, I don’t really need to read detailed descriptions of it. You wouldn’t want to obsess over someone else’s trauma in vivid detail in front of them, so please be cautious when writing about something that’s seen as traumatic by many trans people.

Other useful pointers: There are trans people in this fandom who voice their opinions - seek them out, listen to them, boost their voices, don’t speak over them when they talk about trans experiences. Don’t focus too much on the fact that David is (or might be) trans. Like sure, include that in your writing, but make sure you know that it’s not the only and not the most interesting thing about him. In most regards, he’s just a boy, and he has a lot of character traits that tell us just as much about him, like the fact that he’s really closed-off, competitive af, artistic, a music lover and a complete emo dork, seems to have an active flight-or-fight response,... you see what i’m getting at. Let’s obsess about David on these terms, and I’m sure we’ll get a whole lot of new and interesting meta and fic about him that all of us can enjoy.

#druck #david schreibner #datteo #davenzi #mavid #my posts

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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How would you go about a good Spyral Dick Grayson storyline? I like the idea but not the execution (if it was stated he was acting like an idiot I'd like it better). Also in the same vein how would you do DickTiger/how do you think it'd work?

I’m side-eyeing you a little anon, lol, because I’m not sure what you mean by it’d be better if it was stated he was acting like an idiot. Because see, as far as I’m concerned, nothing about Dick’s actions was out of character....so long as you center Bruce’s actions as the real driving force behind Dick ending up stuck undercover at Spyral. Dick’s actions make perfect sense....as the fractured attempts at recuperating from a massive trauma without any semblance of a support system or any time or space to actually dedicate to acknowledging and accepting what he’d just been through before leaping right back into danger.

It remains extremely troubling to me that even WITHOUT taking into account Bruce’s victim blaming him for his own death, emotional manipulation and physical beating...all of that only stacks on top of what should already have been the takeaway, IMO:

And that is that its absolutely ridiculous to think that Dick could have remotely been emotionally and mentally composed enough to make an informed, non-coerced decision about undertaking the Spyral mission AND keeping it from the rest of the family.....mere days after being extensively tortured and then briefly died.

He wasn’t in a sound state of mind to make that decision with full awareness of all the implications and repercussions like he would have at other times. Nobody would have been.

And the rest of his family might not have known about him dying, but they did know about him being tortured for days and then unmasked, since they literally saw that on TV....and they know, post Dick’s return, that Dick had been in place undercover before his funeral was even held...the same week he was thought to have died. It should have been obvious to a family of geniuses that all choices made in a matter of days after being tortured and unmasked and who knows what else might have happened offscreen that they could only know about by ASKING him about his ordeal instead of jumping straight to punching him for the choices he made while in the immediate aftermath of massive trauma....like, point is, even without knowing he died, there was always more than enough info they were privy to that there’s no real excuse for their response to his return being judgment instead of concern for how the hell has he been coping with all of that, out there all on his own without anyone he could fully trust, let alone unburden himself to.

None of them spared a single thought for what any of that had been like for him, because they were too focused on their own hurt, and I’m always going to be pissed about that, lmao.

Anyway, apologies if none of that was anything you intended with your word choice, but to be perfectly honest I need very little excuse to go off on a rant about how even the rest of his family’s response to that storyline was like, fundamentally flawed.

NOW. On to your actual question! Because I do have an answer as I’ve thought about this particular thing a LOT, and my ire at both the Spyral storyline and the amnesia storyline coalesced into conjoined seething frustration because of how EASILY they could have avoided making all of the Batfam seem shitty, EVEN BRUCE, and like, also avoided them driving Dick further away rather than bringing him back closer to the family.

All you gotta do....is smash those two stories together and do them both at the same time.

LOL, a few months ago I actually literally wrote out a whole post outlining it in detail here:

https://bigskydreaming.tumblr.com/post/187334221591/if-dc-had-just-combined-their-spyral-and-amnesia

And I’ve copied and pasted the content of that post below the cut here too, just to keep it all in one place for convenience.

As for Dick/Tiger - that’s a whole other post I don’t have time to get into at the moment, but in a nutshell, I’m hugely a fan of their pairing but in specific ways...I mostly see them as each other’s angsty kinda ‘the one that got away, that they could never shake how they got under their skin, but can’t find a way to actually be with, longterm.’ Because the thing is, so much of their dynamic and interactions with each other were clouded by the layers of deception they both wore at all times, and how many different lies they had to tell in service of their whole reason for being there, and how much of themselves they had to hide.

Like, I tend to picture them as kinda both wistfully thinking if they’d met in another life, in another way, without all the cloak and dagger and lies from the very start...they could absolutely be happy together. But as it is, there’s no getting around that they both feel in any kind of relationship, there’d always be some part of them, even if just deep down, that was always keeping an eye open for a crack in the other’s mask, a sign that once again, they were not what they professed to be.

So I see them as being very much that spy vs spy trope, even after Dick goes back to vigilantism and civilian life and even when he and Tiger are theoretically on the same side.....like, I could see them having very emotionally charged, physical, almost desperate kinda encounters in secret whenever they’re in the same city or whatever....because they’re past denying that there’s definitely something between them, always has been, probably always will be...but without even talking about it, just with mutual understanding and implicit agreement, they always know these encounters are just for the night....and then its back to reality. With them thus becoming a kind of escape and fantasy for each other, all rolled up in one and thus inevitably romanticized even further within their own minds...

But they’re also both very pragmatic people, and used to taking what they can get and making the most of it. Its nice to picture the could-have-beens in a world where they met under more honest circumstances, but they live in this world, and here, this is what they can make of what they have, this is what they can make work. So its not all terrible, because if they both ultimately decide this is one of the better outcomes resulting from where they began, which neither of them can change...then it becomes more possible to appreciate what they have for what it is. Even if its not ideal. Or conventional. Or even forever....because I think they both are prepared for it to end if either one of them meets someone who can give them those kinds of nights and still be able to be there in the morning...

But none of that means that what they do have isn’t real, isn’t significant, isn’t as powerful and worthy in its own way as any more conventional relationship.

After all, neither of them are conventional people. They wouldn’t even have met if they were, making a lot of those might-have-beens a moot point. Probably wouldn’t even be as drawn to each other if they were other than what they are, because so much of their dynamic is tangled up in their respect for each other’s skills and convictions and more along those lines.

To be honest, I imagine both of them value and prize each other’s acting ability, their skills with deception and subterfuge....even as those are the very things at the root of why they’ll never be that conventional, longterm couple.

Because it keeps things even between them, and thus even when lying to each other’s faces, there was still an honesty to their dynamic, a balance. Neither is burdened by excessive guilt for deceiving the other, because they both were doing it and they understand why. Thus even when outright deceiving each other, there’s a weird kind of balance there that wouldn’t exist in relationships they had with others who couldn’t match what the other brought to the masquerade, so to speak.

Idk. I have a lot of thoughts on them obviously, lol, and totally meant that all to be another post but got carried away as usual, but I’ll leave it on that note for now, lmao.

How To Make The Spyral Storyline Work (If You Ask Me, which someone literally did so I can get away with saying this).

Ahem.

So. If DC had just combined their Spyral and amnesia stories into one, instead of like the mess we got, we could’ve actually had a good story.

Like, literally all you gotta do is back during Forever Evil, find some way to separate Bruce and Selina from Dick’s body BEFORE Luthor revives him….so Bruce too is of the belief that Dick’s dead, and Luthor being heralded as the one who saved the day from the Crime Syndicate protects him from Bruce or the Batfam’s reprisals.

Then all you gotta do is…instead of Dick getting amnesia like a year later from being shot in the head by KGBeast….Dick gets amnesia from complications in how long it took Luthor to revive him. And of course Luthor capitalizes the HELL out of this.

And then, you can pretty much do everything the same….without it being ANYONE in the Batfamily’s fault, or anyone taking anyone for granted?

You can still have Dick go undercover in Spyral, be Agent 37….only now its on Luthor’s orders, because Dick woke up with no memories and all he knows about himself or like, anything, is whatever Luthor tells him.

And he knows SOMETHING’S not right about everything, like, something’s off about the person he feels like he is and the person Luthor claims that he is, but Luthor’s savvy enough that he’s not forcing Dick to do anything that might trigger some buried memories or built in moral resistance to an order, he’s invested in keeping Dick as fully cooperative for as long as possible, because he knows Dick will be way more effective if he’s on board with stuff than actively fighting things. So Luthor has Dick sold on the idea that he’s infiltrating Spyral on behalf of the good guys, like Dick thinks he’s fine with doing morally gray stuff but isn’t full on trigger happy so Luthor doesn’t force him to kill people on his behalf and thus Dick’s time in Spyral and his character conflicts with Helena, Tiger, etc, remain largely the same.

And meanwhile, Dick’s in the dark about his real identity and past because not having any clue he’s alive, the Batfamily reluctantly has been doing their best to bury details of the late Dick Grayson, no matter how much they hate it, because they have to worry about the living members of their family and try and distance themselves from Dick post being-unmasked, so nobody connects the dots to all of them.

And then of course, eventually one of them runs into someone who reminds them suspiciously of Dick on a case, like his face is still all swirly because of the Hypnos implants but he says or does something that’s so quintessentially Dick Grayson that they can’t NOT wonder. Because here, Dick doesn’t KNOW to tamp down on his natural quips and banter or mannerisms around the Batfamily, and so they give him away even as he remains faceless, and there’s not really any way Luthor could have seen that coming or prevented it, without like….scripting everything Dick says or does in every possible encounter he has, which of course is impossible.

And so THEN ultimately, you can have one or two Batfam members pursuing possibilities that Dick’s alive on their own, and then eventually comparing notes and realizing Dick really IS alive, what Luthor must have done, and that Dick didn’t come home because Dick literally doesn’t remember where or what home is…..

And then whammo ka-blammo, its Fully United Batfamily To The Rescue as they basically just invade Spyral and blow it to Kingdom Come whilst convincing Dick that he’s their brother/son/friend and belongs with them and Lex Luthor is a lying liar who lies, SEARCH YOUR HEART, FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, YOU KNOW WE SPEAK THE TRUTH and blah blah blah et cetera et cetera et yada yada.

And nobody ever has to read Tom King and Scott Lobdell’s like…..*gestures disgustedly in the general direction of their utter tripe*….That.

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flusteredmountainman · 5 years

Text

Bullet-pointed predictions I have for each of the new 3 routes

For like an in-depth prediction I did of Muriel’s one a couple months back see this old thing

So a huge commonality in the first three’s arcs (as I mention in that linked post) is reconnecting with family (both found and blood) and so I first and foremost think that this will be present in each LI’s route; I’ll go into more detail on what I think this will look like for each of them individually, plus upright/reversed end speculation based on the definitions for their patron arcana.

***Spoilers for Muriel, Portia and Lucio’s routes so far and references to Nadia, Asra and Julian’s routes***

I’ll start with Muriel because I’ve already talked to his route the most and I think it’ll be the easiest place to start!

Muriel:

The role of family in his route:

Obviously as we’ve seen so far, Muriel has a lot of unresolved feelings of abandonment, shame, self-loathing and loneliness associated with his family and the fact that they’ve abandoned him.

He’s already had the very beginnings of opening up to MC in his last book (The Hermit - very fitting), and he will perhaps continue to do so

I think a central theme for his story will be reconnecting with his family and hearing their perspective on what happened for two reasons: firstly because of one of the options for MC’s response to this discusses that he actually doesn’t know his parent’s reasoning and that maybe they Did want him, and the second relates to Nadia’s route and her arc with reconnecting with her sisters

In her route, similarly she vents about how annoying and patronising her sisters were throughout her life and you can either agree or posit that maybe they were just trying to help/showing they cared about her (reversed vs upright choice)

I’m also hoping he generally creates a stronger support network - I think at least Portia, Nadia and Asra (and maaayyyybe even Morga but that might be pushing it) will end up helping him and MC in the confrontation with the devil at the end - just based on who we’ve seen interacting with him the most in positive ways so far

Upright meaning: Look inside yourself for the answers you seek. Take time for introspection in the days ahead.

He’ll recover from his trauma, recognise himself as a person who is deserving of love and support and who has Needs (including like. a bed. lol.)

Honestly I don’t have a lot else to say ‘cept that bc I said it already so kjaefjef check my aforementioned post if you want More for my favourite man

Reversed meaning: Be wary of retreating too far within your own mind. Others still have valuable things to share.

He decides that he needs to handle the confrontation with the devil alone - probably erring more on the side of self-sacrifice than anything else and/or seeing his sacrifice as just (still blaming himself for his trauma, he believes that his only way to “Redemption” is by falling on his own sword, so-to-speak)

Portia:

Oof, Portia’s a tricky one so far.

The role of family in her route:

So, obviously she has a lot of baggage with Julian. Some of this is hinted at just around her arcana’s definitions, but I’ll get to that soon.

She’s a compulsive secret-hoarder and collects information about everyone around her. I think this is probably a hang-up that she has around control - or loss of it. She doesn’t have security or wealth or even anyone to permanently look after her/mentor her (Julian left and Lilinka - her adoptive grandmother - passed away leaving her to fend largely for herself).

I think that information is the one thing she feels that she has control over, because so much of her life has been out of her hands (and also just chasing Julian around trying to clean up his messes)

She’s literally a head servant as her job -so much of her life is being told what to do and also telling others what to do. I think she fears loss of control in her life, but she’s also never been in a position where she’s been able to be an active agent and do things just because she wants to do them.

She craves validation, safety, and support and that’s why she found herself in this employment role with Nadia - and even then in Nadia’s route (and her own), she’s terrified that Nadia will abandon her in a heartbeat - even though she literally nursed her for years and has been nothing but loyal. Girl has some Mad abandonment issues

Edit: Portia ultimately blames herself for the people around her leaving and thinks that people will only stay if she can be useful in some way - hence why she so doggedly pursues Julian's innocence because she thinks the only chance she has of him staying is if she can literally fix his mess

Largely I think her arc with her family will be about her feeling emboldened to be honest about her feelings and letting Julian know in a meaningful way how much his absence impacted her, but also realising that she Actually Can lean on Mazelinka (who she obviously loves but has made Many excuses as to why she’s too busy to see her - probably again a thing of “if I control when and where I see you, then I can’t get hurt in this relationship”), Nadia, and probably also Asra and some of the other servants even?

Upright meaning: Believe in your inner light. You may have endured great hardship, but it only makes you shine brighter.

Idk man lol this is honestly quite vague.

I think this will prolly be a similar thing to Muriel - just specifically confronting that Yes, she’s had a hard time of it but she shouldn’t let that impact her quality of life

Also probably a lot of stuff around her realising she’s worthy of love as a person and that the people who love her won’t abandon her

Reversed meaning: Now is not the time to despair. Keep believing and let your star shine bright. The world needs you

Again.... aefkjfkae...... very vague.....

I think she won’t be able to let go of her fear of abandonment generically - or alternatively will perhaps? Try to bargain with the devil? I could see a similar thing happening with her that happened in Nadia’s reversed end - perhaps she believes she can save the world/MC by offering her servitude to the devil and being beholden to him? This is Fully a reach, I honestly have no idea :P

Lastly, Lucio:

Don’t worry, I’m not dunking on him lol. I don’t like him but that doesn’t mean I don’t have Thoughts about his route.

The role of family in his route:

Well. This one is clearly quite literally maybe the messiest out of these three (I mean that literally, in terms of, the amount of blood lol)

Obviously, he has a lot of baggage with both of his parents. I’ll disclaimer and say that I personally don’t see Morga as abusive - that doesn’t mean people can’t - but I’m making speculations specifically about their relationship just based on the in-game context clues we have and nothing else

As a person, Lucio is ultimately obsessed with power and attaining it. He’s clearly insecure and is desperate for any sort of validation, which is made messier by his natural sense of entitlement. This combination means that he chronically chases power, thinking that leadership means being able to do whatever you want to do with no consequences (e.g. in his route and also in Nadia’s when he briefly discusses killing people as count/countess) - and especially he thinks that if he has the power, the wealth, and the status then he’ll get the validation that he desperately craves.

As count, he throws lavish parties and spends a lot of time with the vagabonds in the south end - trying to win petty devotion and admiration with meaningless shows of wealth meanwhile his people are starving and suffering in the flooded district. He just wants to be popular at the end of the day, he doesn’t care about actual leadership or using his power for good, unselfish reasons. He claims his people love him, but it’s hollow, ornamental love based upon flash, not substance

Morga as a parent is harsh - she’s critical and derisive at times, but it’s also clear that she does love her son (specifically how she says she spoiled him by never letting him get hurt). Lucio as a teenager grew up somewhat spoiled and expected that power would fall to him by virtue of heritage from his mother when he came of age.

I think that Lucio didn’t get what he needed from Morga necessarily as a kid, and as a result he craved that first position of power because he saw it as a source of validation he hadn’t previously had - and when it was denied him, he became resentful and even murderous towards his parents.

Woof, long fucking paragraph. I do think that Morga and Lucio will end up reconciling in his route somehow. I think it’s central to his character and to filling the void inside of him that he learns that you can’t buy people’s love - also just because his whole story and entry into the world was sparked by that essential conflict with his mother. I think it would feel weird narratively if that weren’t at least addressed - whether or not it ends in reconciliation

Upright meaning: Shake off his veil: you are not trapped. There is always a way out of even the darkest places.

I think that this will be a redemption arc for Lucio. I think that in order for him to be redeemed he’ll have to relinquish the devil’s influence over him - which will involve addressing the wrong he’s done and apologising/trying to atone for it (whether or not other LIs accept his apology is another thing - as they all have very valid reasons not to)

I think the “way out of the darkness” for Lucio is in giving up his quest for power. He will learn that it’s ok to just be Lucio as a person, that he can be vulnerable and responsible for himself, and that people will love him as he is and not for the way he throws his money around

Reversed meaning: It is time to clean house: purge the things that harm you from your life. Take back your power.

Now this literally includes the sentence “take back your power” so. whoomp there it is. Lucio can’t let go of his power-hunger and becomes even more selfish and self-righteous.

I think also unfortunately this will mean he will literally probably kill some if not all of the other LIs, and also (especially) his mother. He will see anything that challenges his power as opposition to be removed, and he will rule (alongside the devil? who knows) in chaos and blood.

Ookey!! kajefnkae glad I got that out of my system. If I missed anything/if people have their own ideas/thoughts I’d love to hear them! Have this giant essay lol, we’ll see if anything I predicted comes true in the next several dozen updates eh? B)

#muriel #portia devorak #muriel the arcana #lucio #the arcana #the arcana game #lucio the arcana #long post #meta #jaye writes #the arcana spoilers #nadia #julian #asra #mazelinka #morga

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princecharmingtobe · 6 years

Text

I was working on a Mighty Nein High School au at one point and I kind of want to come back to it cause I really liked what I had going so far

It’s gonna be a lot so I’ll put it under a readmore

Caleb: I decided this about him before his backstory drop, and have decided to keep it. He is a pyromaniac, and in his early/mid teens he was playing with a lighter, and it got out of hand and he ended up accidentally burning down his house, with his parents inside. Which further complicated his relationship with fire. He had to repeat a year or two of school as he “recovered” from the trauma of it all and ended up in the foster system, where he met Nott, who was his foster sister. At the time the au takes place he is 19 and a high school senior. He’s aged out of the foster system, and already not being in great condition he quickly slips through the cracks and ends up living on the streets. He does still try to go to school, because it was a big deal that he was going to be the first in his family to go to college, and he’s just kind of holding onto that because he has nothing else. Most people avoid him for various reasons. He doesn’t get to bathe often, or wash his clothes, and everyone knows what happened to his parents. He’s mostly fine with this, being ignored, though there are also bullies. He doesn’t fight back, and Nott and sometimes Beau come to his rescue. Beau often tells him to stand up for himself.

Nott: A high school freshman, in foster care. I’ve toyed with various possible races for her, but can’t really decide on one, just that she both experiences racism and deals with some internalized racism. Small for her age, but ready to FIGHT. At least to defend herself and Caleb. Always wears an oversized green hoodie that used to belong to Caleb. She attends an after school science club, and especially loves chemistry.

Jester: Jester is black and vaguely chubby and very sweet. Freshman or Sophomore. She is friends with most of her classmates to some extent, but some of them also talk behind her back, and she pretends she doesn’t know. “Isn’t her mother a hooker?” “I thought she was a stripper?” “Same difference.” She got a very open sex education from her mother, and openly talks about such things, so people also call her “easy” and “loose” and such. She may or may not be sexually active in this au, I haven’t decided, but either way she is sweet and doesn’t deserve their shit. She is one of Nott’s few friends, and tries to be friendly with Caleb as well (they did get off to a rough start when she told him he smelled bad and needed to shower). She’s also one of Beau’s few friends, and Beau will intimidate people talking bad about Jester and her mom into shutting up.

Beau: Sophomore or Junior. Has been threatened with juvie multiple times but hasn’t been sent away yet. Kind of a punk. Skips class, gets in all manners of trouble, but tends to stand up for those who won’t defend themselves. Disappoints her parents! Fuck ‘em! Has a complicated relationship with Molly. They antagonize the fuck out of each other, but it’s never come to violence (except for a heated game of dodgeball. the school has since banned dodgeball).

Fjord: Senior. Has one of those tall, broad builds that make a person LOOK really strong, but he’s actually not very athletic, doesn’t play any sports. He is a theater nerd, the annoying kind who’s always practicing accents. Has taken it upon himself to “coach” Beau on being more approachable. I’m not really sure what else to do with him @_@

Mollymauk: Sophomore or Junior? Of unknown race. Probably mixed race, definitely not white, but nobody’s really sure and he certainly couldn’t tell you. Molly was found two years ago outside town with a head injury and no ID. He can’t remember anything about who he is or where he came from, and thus far nobody has claimed him. He’s happy with his current life though, and has no interest in finding his family. “They’re either dead or don’t give a shit, so why bother?” He was found by Gustav, who owns a tattoo/piercing shop, which Molly helps out in after school. He helped him come up with a name (the legal peeps were dubious, but Molly was all about it) and has custody of him for the time being. Gustav isn’t exactly parent material, and makes some questionable decisions, like letting Molly get covered in tattoos and piercing. The school certainly took issue, but he handled it. It’s an ongoing battle though and Molly’s attitude doesn’t help. He also has his hair dyed purple and wears red contact lenses cause WHY NOT. He’s very obviously and openly queer and has his share of bullies, but generally doesn’t get messed with because of his proximity to Yasha. He’s only recently returned to school, and apparently attended a different school previously. At the start of the AU he’s vaguely aware of Caleb, but Caleb avoids him like the plague because of all the attention he attracts.

Yasha: Sophomore, Junior, Senior??? Yasha is a new student, like Molly. Not much is known about her, but there are plenty of rumors. Many say she’s been to juvie, some say she killed someone. Yasha neither confirms nor denies these claims. Molly was the first other student she met when she moved to the town, in Gustav’s shop. Feeling nervous about a new school she gravitated to the one person she recognized, and since he is also new he did the same, and they’ve been close ever since. She’s ready and willing to fight, but so far no one’s challenged her. She’s a bit disappointed. She’s charmed by Jester, and Beau keeps doing vaguely nice things for her, but like, randomly and in weird situations. She is confused, but flattered.

There’s a whole Widomauk plot that goes with it that I might actually try to write. Try being a key word, I’m not good at writing XP

#critical role #Mighty Nein High School au #critical role high school au

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xtruss · 3 years

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Interview with Mary Trump

"Donald Is a Fascist and the Republicans Are Trying To Destroy Our Democracy"

In an interview, Mary Trump, the only niece of the former American president, talks about an uncle she describes as dangerous, his enduring power and the growing hate in America.

— Interview Conducted By Marc Pitzke | 08.25.2021

— SPIEGEL International

Mary Trump: "He's literally the weakest person I've ever known." Foto: Sara Naomi Lewkowicz / DER SPIEGEL; Michael Reynolds / Zuma Press / action press

Mary Trump, Donald Trump's only niece, has just finished a talk show appearance by video chat from her kitchen. She's sitting in the library of her apartment building, trying to relax. The ceiling-high shelves behind her are filled with carefully curated coffee table books. Through the wall of windows, one can see Manhattan's thick traffic below.

Trump, however, seems irritated. "This was the first time I've been treated badly in an interview," she says.

She had just appeared on "The View," a popular morning chat show, where they discussed politics, the pandemic and racism. Yet one co-host checked out of the conversation without even greeting her: Meghan McCain, daughter of the late senator John McCain, who had been reviled and insulted by Donald Trump even as he went to his grave.

The younger McCain is famous – infamous – for her own conservative tirades. After the show with Mary Trump, she tweeted: "There is no 'good' Trump family member to me."

And there it is, Mary Trump's burden: her last name.

She will be forever linked to her uncle, his lies, is hubris, his incompetence, his autocratic tendencies – and the damaging fallout from his one term as president.

Last year, the psychologist published her memoirs: "Too Much and Never Enough." The book revealed the horrific family history of the Trumps – and made her a target of Trump fanatics, who still worship the former president. For months, she hardly left the house – because of COVID-19, but also out of fear of being recognized and vilified.

Now Trump, 56, has written a second book, "The Reckoning: America's Trauma and Finding a Way To Heal." It addresses the darkest period of U.S. history, with the nation's enduring racism, and, of course, her uncle.

DER SPIEGEL: Ms. Trump, last summer you called your uncle the world's most dangerous man. Now that he's out of office, do you still feel that way?

Trump: After the election, I was happy for about a minute. I was very relieved, of course, but the number of people who voted for him was just heartbreaking. Seventy-four million! Yes, Joe Biden won. But the Democrats in general didn't win enough. We needed a total repudiation of Donald and his party, and we didn't get one.

DER SPIEGEL: So, you think he still presents a danger?

Trump: We're not out of the woods. It became clear right after the election that he was going to do everything in his power to undermine the legitimacy of the results and that the Republicans were just going to let him do it. For him, losing is not acceptable and winning doesn't mean legitimately winning, it just means getting the win. He knows he didn't win, but I don't believe he knows he lost, either.

DER SPIEGEL: How so?

Trump: He's been trying for two years to steal this election. I don't believe he can wrap his head around the fact that everything he did, all the stops he pulled out, all the stops the Republican Party pulled out for him, haven't worked. So, he's still trying to steal this election.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you see Jan. 6, when a mob of his supporters stormed the Capitol Building, as such an attempt?

Trump: He is very good at finding people weaker than he is, which is shocking because he's literally the weakest person I've ever known. But they're out there obviously, in large numbers. Then, there are people who are much smarter and powerful than he is, who know how to use him. So, it's a very dangerous combination. Were there people around him who knew that it could very possibly lead to that moment? Absolutely. Was he completely willing and comfortable to take advantage of the situation and make it worse for his benefit? Absolutely.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you think he welcomed what he saw on Jan. 6?

Trump: Oh, my gosh, yeah. It was probably one of the best days of his life. The worse it got, the happier he was. It wasn't an accident when he told the mob that if he wasn't granted the victory, it was Mike Pence's fault. So, should we be surprised that people were running around with nooses wanting to string Mike Pence up? It would have been perfectly fine with him. Absolutely. The only thing he probably regrets about that is that there wasn't more violence.

DER SPIEGEL: What went through your mind that day?

Trump: I hadn't listened to his speech beforehand, because I've tried whenever possible not to listen to him or look at him, because I don't care what he has to say. At first, like everybody else, I found it really hard to know what precisely was going on. It just looked like a mess. The first word that came to mind was tawdry. But then it became obvious to me that it was much worse than that. This is our Capitol! This is the center of – well, I don't like to say American democracy, because I don't think America has ever completely been a democracy like we aspire to be.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you think he will run again in 2024?

Trump: I don't know. But because he's being enabled, he sees an opening. He feels the power. He also knows that the only way he stays out of legal trouble is to get back into power.

DER SPIEGEL: Does it weigh on you to be so personally connected to his world? In your new book you reveal that in 2017, a few months after your uncle's inauguration, you went into inpatient treatment for post traumatic stress disorder. What happened?

Trump: I just remember feeling so out of control. I remember spinning out and didn't know how to stop. I lived in a very Republican town then, so I was really isolated. For the first time in my life, I lost friends because of an election, and I knew I needed to do something. But despite the fact that I'm a psychologist, I didn't know there were treatment programs for that. I knew there were for addictions, but I didn't know there was such a thing for post-traumatic stress.

DER SPIEGEL: Your uncle traumatized half the nation.

Trump: Every once in a while, I think about how this country will be forever stained by what he did. That's really hard. We never recover from that. Maybe in 200 years, but not while I'm alive.

DER SPIEGEL: Don't you think his spell is broken? Joe Biden's policies are pretty popular, and Trump's "Big Lie" hasn't amounted to anything.

Trump: The Democrats don't understand the seriousness of the threat. They are playing by rules in a rulebook that the Republicans lit on fire. There are no rules anymore. They need to start fighting like their lives depend on it. But they're just not willing to do that. There is an unwillingness – also in the U.S. media – to use the kind of language that is accurate and necessary to get people to understand the seriousness of the threat.

DER SPIEGEL: How serious is it?

Trump: Donald is a fascist, and the Republicans are an autocratic, anti-democratic, counter-majoritarian party that would be perfectly happy to establish some kind of apartheid in this country. They are actively trying to destroy our democracy. If they win back the House in 2022, it would be fatal to the American experiment. I wouldn't be surprised if they make Donald, two years before the presidential election, speaker of the house. And then there will never be another Democrat allowed to win an election.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you really believe that?

"The Democrats don't understand the seriousness of the threat. They are playing by rules in a rulebook that the Republicans lit on fire. There are no rules anymore."

Trump: We see it happening already. Last year, there were 155 million presidential votes cast in this country. There have been maybe 36 cases of voter fraud, which is a vanishingly small number. And yet, we've got hundreds of voter suppression laws in place or being pushed by the Republicans. If the Democrats lose the House and/or the Senate in the 2022 midterms, it's over. It is over.

DER SPIEGEL: You don't think the U.S. democracy is resilient?

Trump: The way this country is structured is inherently anti-democratic.

DER SPIEGEL: What do you mean?

Trump: The U.S. Constitution is not a democratic document. For example, we currently have a 50-50 split in the Senate, but the 50 Republican senators represent 40 million less people than the 50 Democratic senators – because the constitution gives every state two senate seats, no matter how populous.

Trump supporters in Washington, D.C. on Jan. 6: "It was probably one of the best days of his life. The worse it got, the happier he was." Foto: Shay Horse / NurPhoto / Getty Images

DER SPIEGEL: In your new book, you write: "The ugly history of our country is filled with sordid, barbaric and inhuman acts committed by average citizens which were encouraged or at least condoned by the highest levels of government. To deny this history means to deny our national trauma." That's a devastating judgement – how did you come to that conclusion?

Trump: If there's one thing Americans are very good at, it's perpetuating myths about ourselves.

DER SPIEGEL: For instance?

Trump: One of the most astonishing things this country got away with was portraying itself as a beacon of democracy during World War II, while at the same time an entire population of people was being held in what was essentially a closed, fascist state in the South. Black Americans who served their country came home only to be lynched because they had the audacity to wear the uniform. Part of that is also that people think that the North were the good guys. But a large percentage of Northerners were really racist, too, and perfectly happy to have Blacks freed, but did not want them to have any political power, so they decided that it was more expedient to make common cause with the former Confederates than with the freed men and women.

DER SPIEGEL: Isn't the way of looking at U.S. history changing rapidly?

Trump: The right is doing everything to make sure that Americans continue to stay ignorant about their own history. Imagine if post-World War II Germany hadn't taken the steps that it has taken.

DER SPIEGEL: Not all Germans back then were too excited about that, either.

Trump: That's a good point. It requires the political will. We let people off the hook for flying the Confederate flag because they claim it's just about their Southern history. But they know what it means. It means that they are completely on board with white people owning black people.

DER SPIEGEL: Is the U.S. still a racist country?

Trump: If you're a white adult American, it's almost impossible not to be racist because of the media environment we grow up in, our families or our friends' families, the influences of our education. But when you become an adult, you need to take responsibility for that stuff. If we don't acknowledge it, then it's never going to change. But it's very hard to acknowledge that.

DER SPIEGEL: How much do you blame your uncle for that?

Trump: I blame him for the fact that it's becoming more and more acceptable to be openly racist. What Donald did was prove that racism is a successful platform when you run for office in this country. People like him are out there very openly being racist and white supremacist, and they're getting tens of millions of people to vote for them because either they agree with them or they don't have a problem with it because lower taxes are more important. We're in a really dangerous place.

"The Republicans are an autocratic, anti-democratic, counter-majoritarian party that would be perfectly happy to establish some kind of apartheid in this country."

DER SPIEGEL: Do you also blame him for the disastrous COVID-19 situation here last year?

Trump: That's been one of the worst things for me to deal with. Knowing that your uncle is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people is not a good feeling. That many died in exactly the same circumstances my father did, alone, because my uncle, who could have gone to the hospital to be with my dad, rather went to the movies. So, that's been really, really hard. Because of his incompetence and his cruelty we're still struggling with this. Because of his encouragement of the unvaccinated and his failure to model decent behavior, which he is incapable of doing. It's just a kick in the teeth.

DER SPIEGEL: Wasn't he one of the first to get vaccinated?

Trump: Secretly! Everybody in the family got vaccinated. They're all vaccinated. Imagine how people are going to react when they find out that they've all been betrayed and the people they put their faith in lied to them for political expediency.

DER SPIEGEL: Psychologically, how do you get people to admit they've lived a lie for so long?

Trump: It's hard. I don't hold out hope for most of these people. I really don't.

DER SPIEGEL: That sounds rather pessimistic.

Trump: I am bizarrely a quite optimistic person. Maybe that took a hit over the last couple of years. But I am pretty much an optimist. I haven't given up hope.

DER SPIEGEL: Yet the next Trump generation seems ready. Do you expect your cousin, Donald Jr., or your cousin Ivanka, to run for political office?

Trump: No.

DER SPIEGEL: Why not?

Trump: My uncle is such a buffoon, but he does have charisma. If you met him, for the first 10 seconds you would see it. After that, you would realize that he's a total psychopath, but a lot of people are very susceptible to his kind of charisma. Donald Jr. and Ivanka don't have any of that. They don't survive politically without him. They don't survive in business without him. No, I don't see that. Hopefully, they'll all end up in jail.

DER SPIEGEL: What's next for you?

Trump: My next book will not be about my uncle. I'm taking a break. Never write a book about trauma while you're still being actively traumatized.

DER SPIEGEL: Ms. Trump, we thank you for this interview.

— Mary Trump's latest book, "The Reckoning: Our Nation's Trauma and Finding a Way To Heal," was published in August by St. Martin's Press. The book has also been published in German translation by Heyne Verlag.

— Mary Trump, 56, holds a doctorate in psychology and has known the former president since childhood. Her father Fred Trump, Jr., Donald Trump's older brother, died in 1981. Her first book, "Too Much and Never Enough," about her uncle became a bestseller in the United States in 2020.

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