#i really need it for a school assignment too

[pomefioredove]

sorry if you dont do platonic/kid reader posts but could you do headcannons of the dormleaders with a younger teen yuu (13-14) who had a bad homelife before and they see him as their older brother? like they come to his room crying and asking him to hold them? sorry if this doesnt make sence!! thank you and i love your work!! ^_^ <3

I very gladly do platonic and familial requests <3 I myself feel more platonic towards most of the characters ^_^

summary: housewardens adopting you as their younger sibling type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: platonic, yuu is gender neutral

𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

believe it or not, Riddle is a pretty good brother

especially to someone from a home life similar to his

I suppose he recognizes it immediately; just sees pieces of himself in you

and I honestly believe he has a soft spot for younger people, even with his temperament

it's no secret that he favors you over everyone else

(even if he'd insist he treats everyone equally)

he lets you get away with things anyone else would be collared for

he pesters you about letting him help with your homework

you're invited to every Heartslabyul event

so on and so forth

and, much to everyone else's astonishment, he's always there for you to lean on

had bad day? failed an assignment? were being picked on? had a nightmare about your home?

well, that just can't do

he'll have you two freshly baked tarts and tea ready within minutes

and, of course, he'll gladly lend a hug if that's what you need

𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫

it's no secret that Leona's home life isn't exactly dreamy, either

and his relationship with his brother isn't ideal

in fact, the very idea of having another sibling- especially a younger one- used to make him cringe

but... okay, he'll admit that you're alright

what? he's not heartless

and he just can't stand to see you struggling like a prey animal

so, sure, he'll take you under his wing

just until you get on your feet, that is! don't expect any special treatment from him just because he was feeling generous today

he's basically no help with anything practical

homework to do? not his thing

boy/girl trouble? don't you have any friends you could ask?

he'll give out advice when you need it, but Leona's got this idea that you need to figure things out for yourself, too

it's his strange way of... raising you?

(don't ask him why. he'll just get annoyed)

but if there's one thing he's really good at, it's providing that much-needed physical comfort

in his eyes, all he has to do is lie there

and he'll gladly give you a hug or a cuddle if it'll wipe that mopey look off your face

(don't listen to him; he really does worry sometimes)

𝐀𝐳𝐮𝐥 𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨

his first reaction to you and your closeness is "what do you want?"

not in a rude way, mind you; when you first meet, he sees you as an excellent business opportunity

after all, you're leagues behind everyone else in school matters; and he has a helping hand to offer.

at a price, of course

and then, as time goes on and it becomes more and more obvious that you're not looking for anything but company... well...

sure, you're all alone here

sure, you remind him way too much of himself at a younger age

but why is that his problem? haven't you heard what everyone else says about him? he's shady! untrustworthy!

and... oh, sevens. he just can't bring himself to turn you away

what was once a business venture turns into a friendship

best friend/brother Azul is insanely overprotective

even though he doesn't show it, he's constantly worrying; are the other students nice to you? are they including you? is everyone treating you fairly?

will send Jade and Floyd to keep an eye on you when he's extra anxious

it takes some time for him to adjust to the idea of you being able to take care of yourself

but, still...

he makes it clear that on those days, the ones where you feel like running and hiding from the world, his door is open

you can come hide with him, instead

free of charge, of course

𝐊𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐥-𝐀𝐬𝐢𝐦

he adopts you immediately

literally just can't help himself; he sees you looking lost on your first day of classes and immediately takes you under his wing

Kalim already has a lot of younger siblings, he's used to this

anything you need, he's got it

hungry? he's already had snacks prepared

feeling homesick? he'll find you something to remind you of home

struggling with school? well... Jamil can help with that!

once word gets back to his family, they basically adopt you, too

no need to worry about having a home to go back to over breaks; his family has multiple!

he will never shut up about how great you are; literally introduces you to everyone as his younger sibling

treasures everything you give him and keeps it forever

and on your worst days, he's there for you then, too

as stated, Kalim has lots of younger siblings, he knows how it goes- and he makes a surprisingly good comforter

his hugs are always the best, too

𝐕𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐭

Vil already has a sort of motherly thing going on for him

he may be strict, but he's nurturing above all

and much like Kalim, he takes you under his care right away

you're still young, after all- and he knows you're not emotionally mature enough to handle all the chaos of NRC on your own

plus... well, he wants to leave an impression on you

after all, the sooner you start good habits, the likelier they'll stick

(he already has your skincare regimen ready)

it's the least he can do to help... you always seem very stressed, don't you? he wonders why that is

but he never pushes for answers, of course

he makes sure you're well acquainted with everyone from the dorm, too, so that everyone can keep an eye out for you

being Vil's favorite has its perks; soon, you're well-liked by anyone from Pomefiore

and friendly with most of them, too

(just don't let Epel influence you too much)

and Vil is always there; he makes plenty of time in his week just to speak to you

he wants to make sure you're adjusting well, after all

and any problems you have, he'll deal with personally

𝐈𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝

it's more likely that Ortho bonded with you and took you in first

after all, you're closer in age than anyone else at school

you may even share a few interests!

but, of course, Idia's initial reaction was No. "Ortho, you can't just pick up random kids off the side of the road,"

...so to speak.

but somehow, you keep ending up in his dorm room to hang out

he avoids you at first, but the longer you're around, the more accumulated he'll become

when it gets to the point where he's teaching you how to play all his favorite games, it's so over for him

he's fallen right into Ortho's trap

much like Azul, Idia is a liiiittle overprotective

he's had some less than ideal experiences with siblings, after all

so maybe he's a little bit of a helicopter mom

that is, constantly watching you because he's deathly worried something's going to happen to you

(it takes a lot of convincing from Ortho before he relaxes a little)

and, of course, his doors are always open

he'll even pause his game if you come in looking upset

he just can't focus when you're all sad like that, see? now come inside and tell him what's wrong before he starts overthinking and goes into anxiety mode

𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚

Malleus has had enough experience with children. according to himself, anyway

he was somewhat of a brother to Silver, and holds Sebek in... a slightly similar regard

but somehow, you're completely different

for one; you're magicless, and thus can't defend yourself like everyone else can

for another; you come from a different world

and you seem very reluctant on sharing details about your past

which just confuses Malleus. are you worried he will judge you for not having any magical abilities? surely, you must trust him better than that?

it's really Lilia who's able to guess that you had a rough home life. just something about the way you conduct yourself- he's seen it before

he asks Malleus to be gentle with you, and not to pry too much

which he seems to accept

much like the aforementioned, he's a little overprotective

okay, a lot overprotective

he holds those he views as family very close to him, and you're no exception

you're invited to every Diasomnia event, Silver and Lilia pitch in on all your tutoring needs, and no one would dare mess with the beloved younger sibling of Malleus Draconia

although he still makes an effort to understand all of your emotional needs

he gladly accepts all hugs and cuddles, too

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #kalim al asim x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader #queued

[pagetsgirl]

tutoring

contains smut!! mdni

warnings: smut, giving head, fucking your professor, office sex, shitty writing ngl

pairing: alex blake x f!reader (professor x student dynamic)

summary: Alex Blake's star student needs some tutoring, which turns rather spicy

a/n: dont be afraid to reach out to me if you have any prompt/drabble suggestions, but i’m not sure when i’ll get to them since im really busy with school

read on ao3 or below the cut

For the entire year you’ve been nothing but the most perfect student. You got full marks, was never late, always turned assignments in on time, and you were actually nice to anyone who sat around you in class.

So it came to you as a surprise, when in your second year, your linguistics professor, dr. Alex Blake, told you that you might need some tutoring, so you could get ahead of everyone else in class. You had her last year as well, and to say you had a crush on her was an mild understatement. So to spend more one-on-one time with her… it was an offer too good to say no to.

It quickly became your favourite part of the week. Every Friday evening at 6:50pm, just after your last class, walking towards her office so you’d be there 7:00pm, and then leave with pain in your heart at 8:30pm, while every bone in your body was shouting at you to chat with her for just a little longer. Your ears dying to hear her voice just one more time before going to bed, your eyes wanting to look at her once more, your hands wanting to roam over her body, discovering every curve and freckle on her delicate skin.

This Friday was no different. Almost speeding down the corridors so you could get to her office a little early, so that you two could catch up just a little more before starting the tutoring.

Arriving there at 6:55, which is a record, you knocked at her door, waiting for her approval of coming inside.

“It’s open!” Her slightly raspy voice sounded muffled from where you were standing. But even that could make your knees weak. The things she would whisper in almost the same tone, just a tat more sulkier, as her hands roamed over your body, her strap made hard thrusts into your-

“Are you coming inside or not?” A voice shook you out of your daydream, as Alex Blake stood there in her doorframe, looking down at you.

“Oh yeah, uhm of course,” You franticly speak out, putting your entire linguistics education to shame.

You followed her inside, your eyes focused on her ass, I mean her walls filled with interesting books you couldn’t wait to dive into (same goes for her ass, but that’s just a tat… inappropriate).

The rest of the lesson went smoothly, as you put your feelings on the side line, and fully focussed on the things she was explaining to you.

The last couple of minutes you get a little side tracked, now talking about your hobbies, as her hand brushed past hers as you were explaining how sharks can’t get cavities and some sharks can glow in the dark.

When it finally gets to the time where you should leave, she walks you to the door. As you turn your back towards her, you hear her say; “You think I didn’t notice you staring at my ass and boobs all semester?”

Your face turns a bright red, as you slowly turn around. “Fuck,” You mutter under your breath. She walks closer, and closer to you, her hands eventually landing on her hips.

She looked down at you, her eyes filled with something that almost looked like… lust?

“Professor,” You mutter out, your hands still awkwardly on your sides. “Tell me you don’t want this, baby,” She whispers, her hot breath brushing over your ear as she moves closer to you.

“Please, I want this,” You whisper out, your voice raspy from desperation.

“Good, then it’s Alex or mommy for you, pretty girl,”

Just as those words left her lips, she pushed them on yours, absolutely taking your breath away. It was soft, but she was also so dominating. It was everything you’ve ever dreamt of, and more. Way, and way more.

Alex pushed you backwards until she has you pinned to the door, her hands now roaming close to the bottom of your sweater. Your hands moving to tangle into her brown hair that was framing her face. “You sure you want to do this, baby?” The professor said as she pulled away.

You desperately nod your head, as your hands attempt to pull her face closer again.

“No, darling, I have to have vocal consent,” her hands played with the bottom of your shirt. “I- please, Alex, I need you so bad, please mommy,” The moment she heard that last word leave your lips, she pushed her lips to yours again, sliding her tongue into your mouth, exploring every single centimetre that she could reach. Her hands slipped into your sweater, discovering every curve until she reached your breasts.

Her lips travelled south, softly biting your neck. “Gosh, you’re so gorgeous for me, baby,” her voice radiated a warmth through you, that ended up all the way into your pussy.

She bit into your skin, making you let out a soft moan. “Please, mommy, I need more,” You pant out, your hands pushing her head down. “Shhh baby, I’ll get there, I promise,”

Her teasing didn’t seem to end, leaving a countless amount of hickeys and bite marks all over your neck.

Finally, after what seemed both hours and seconds, her hands grasped onto the sweater. “Can I take this off?” The brunette looked into your half closed eyes, her eyes filled with nothing but love and need. “Yeah, please,” the words came harder than you ever could’ve expected.

Finally, she took off your shirt. She stood there, allowing herself to take in this moment, cause who knows when the next time will be when she can see you like this (which will most likely be next Friday, if not sooner).

Your needy hands pulled onto the rim of her shirt. “Off,” you murmured. All Alex just did was grant you a smile and the little nod that allowed you to pull the shirt over her head. Your eyes scanned over her body, desperate to remember absolutely everything about her. Every freckle, curve and ‘imperfection’ that was scattered over her skin.

“You done staring, baby?”

“Mm, you’re really pretty,” you whisper, as your hands wander over her exposed skin.

“Oh, well thank you baby.” She kissed the tip of your nose, making you let out a small giggle. “I think you’re really pretty as well.”

Her hands slide towards your ass, “Take them off, please,” You practically beg.

“Your wish is my command,”

She quickly pulled down your trousers and underwear, throwing it somewhere on the floor. The linguist picked you up with ease and carried you to her desk, where she put you on.

The brunette immediately dove into your pussy, eating you eat like it was your last meal. Her tongue lapping up your juices.

It was just embarrassing as to how close you already were. Your thighs were shaking, you back arching and your hands pushing her head impossibly closer to where you needed her the most. “Mommy, I’m so close, please,” You moan out.

“Are you coming inside or not?” A voice shook you out of your daydream, as Alex Blake stood there in her doorframe, looking down at you.

#alex blake x reader #ao3 writer #fanfic #ao3 #criminal minds #smut #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #wlw post #wlw ns/fw #mdni #18+ mdni

[slivermedal]

where the fuck is that post about vacant homes n shit i cant find it anywheres

#i really need it for a school assignment too #hrrrrgh

[stupid-dyke]

I can tell i am now experienceing actual real sleep deprivation and not just the omnipresent idiopathic hypersomnia fake sleepiness that my stupid lying body never shuts up about. I can tell because I am fallijng asleep in class regardless if I take my medication and I feel like everything is so, incredibly stupid and horrible, and everyone giving me homework or telling me to do anything is attacking me. And I can;t hold a conversation. And people are noticing my strange manner and pointing out that I seem wrong. And yet here we are AGAIN I have AGAIN stayed up late AND not gotten any work done. And on top of that I broke my fucking glasses tonight because I left them sitting on my fucking bed. And I'm freaking my parents out by crying over the phone and also I think I actually injured my shoulder last week its been hurting for four days now. and I'm so sad and mad at myself for not sleeping and not working but I can't work because I havent slept and I cant sleep because I havent worked. And every single time I get in a bad time like this my dad worries im going to die because i was suicidal for like a week in 2019 and then he gets mad at me for worrying him and I feel so so so guilty. Im so so sad.

#and I dont want to fuckign sleep even though i really need to and I spend every fucking seconf of every fucking day being sleepy #because even when I get enough sleep im still FUCKING sleepy so what is the FUCKING point. Why not just NOT FUCKING SLEEP. #Im so fucking sick of myself and my body and my pain and my stupidity. #AND ITS SO STUPID BECAUSE HERE I AM MISSING ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS SCARING MY FAMILY WEIRDING OUT OTHER STUDENTS AND MAKING MY PROFS HATE ME #BECAUSE IM FUCKING SLEEPY. stupidest fucking sounding reason on earth to have a fucking crisis. #no one ever hears me say im sleepy and thinks oh thats really serious i really want to help you now its literally just annoying to ppl #haha wait til you have kids or get older or a full time job ha ha #cool I am fuckign terrified of the future because I know how mad everyone gets at me when im too disabled to do what im supposed to #and I know its going to get to a point where I can't and there will probably be no one left to help me. I'm almost certainly going to outli #outlive my parents and my sister and even if i ever get married ill probably also get divorced so I'll be all alone #friendships aren't safe becuase you can love someone so much for 5 years and she just tells you one day she doesn't want to be burdened #by you anymore and you never hear from her again #its a dark scary fucking world and you want me to be passionate about a field of study or something?? jesus christ can you all just fuck of #I dont want to go to grad school i dont want to work i dont want to live alone i dont want to live with my parents forever #my head hurts so much goodnight guys sorry for ranting its literally fine im literally just really sleepy sorry for being melodramatic

[thatineffablewitch]

me trying to record a video journal for school assignment and watching it back:

ha ha yeah wtf is wrong with me

#I’m still sick so the doctor gave me steroids #Why did I mention this in my assignment tho #Dear god I need to not be sick soon this is getting old fast #Am I really oblivious #Is something actually not on canvas #Am I just on too many fucking drugs rn? #Who fucking knows anymore #Leave me alone to sleep and try going and hour without coughing up a lung that’s all I ask #Do NOT recommend getting sick the first week of school lol

[be-gay-do-crime-ahaha]

Holy fucking shit the dysphoria is dysphoria-ing right now. I feel physically nauseous oh my fucking god. I’m gonna fucking kill someone maybe myself rn I’m gonna lose my shit holy hell.

Doesn’t help that I’ve been incredibly overstimulated the past few days every sound is like a fucking cheese grater in my ears oh my god.

#dysphoria #gender dysphoria #sensory processing disorder #tw emetophobia #for the nausea mention #idk if that’s needed or not #but yeah I’m about to tear off my fucking skin and jump off a building I am losing my fucking mind #it’s so over #lmao my brain is fucked i genuinely wanna off myself over this shit #and my mother keeps refusing to even entertain the idea of getting my name changed on the school role #even though all my teachers and friends call me Alex and that’s what I’ve been going by for a few years now #and it would make things significantly easier for everyone because it would fix my email name as well #so that’s not helping #and she was talking about my period and being all “it’s okay all WOMEN get these ❤️ you’re just becoming a beautiful woman #and now she keep being rude to my sister because she uses men’s deodorant (because it works better) and doesn’t really wear dresses #(because she finds them annoying and inconvenient) #and is being all “hurr durr you’re copying your SISTER stop being so masculine” #like fucking hell #shit talking me and harassing my sister all at once #man I want to fucking kill myself im so done with this shit #and I’m so overdue on school work and I feel so overwhelmed and stressed this fucking sucks #and I know the school work and stuff is fully my fault for forgetting and slacking off but I can’t bring myself to do them because the #stress of fucking up and just how much of it I have to do is pushing me to my damn limit #I can’t even bring myself to start on my film and media assignment that’s a week overdue because I’m so fucking stressed just thinking about #it and I’m so overwhelmed I can’t fucking do this. I just can’t. and I know I’m at fault for procrastinating and being too lazy and stressed #to bring myself to start working on it #and things are just gonna get more and more difficult #so yeah. rant over I guess. sorry guys #did not mean to rant in the tags this much dysphoria is just killing me and so is general stress #tw suicidal thoughts

[crowleyanthonys]

.

#all i need to do for this assignment is write a paragraph #a literal paragraph about last week's reading #and connect it to my ideas for the final paper #and i just can't do it aresthyjyrhegfe #please i'm too exhausted. why must thesis students take other classes ontop of thesis work. i'm so tired of seminars. i'm sorry. #(plus there has never been a seminar in my grad program about gender & sexuality and i'm...kind of annoyed by that lmao) #(i know it's a funding thing but damn. some of these seminars #have really helped my classmates' thesis research #while the rest of us are like...hmmm...what about our fields of study?) #(i understand that's not the point of a seminar class but it really has burnt me out after a while :/ ) #grad school tag

[toytulini]

ouagh at some point i should try to post some of the multiple thousands of pictures I've taken every time i go to an aquarium huh

#toy txt post #i went thru my phone and sorted almost everything in my camera roll at some point #need to do more sorting again and also sort into narrower categories to make it easier to tag shit and then #ill be able to like. navigate my insane amount of photos on here one day #also the multiple thousands is not. an exaggeration #i seem ti take At Least 1000 everytime. i go to an aquarium #less so at the one i volunteer at sometimes just cos. its smaller and i try not to be on my phone while volunteering #ouaaaagh #i guess i should try to look into more. schooling/edu fucking cation #cos volunteering there. doesnt suck #like its a little physically demanding just cos the water is Very Extremely Cold and its like 2hrs drive away from me #but like. like i Hate interacting w ppl i dont think i could do customer service or retail BUT i love #a captive audience to infodump about sea life to #i just need a college professor that is very extremely patient w me and treats me like the fragile little baby that i am/j #i guess i need to once again seek out Fucking Therapy to wrangle with my Homework Issues #all those posts explaining how to study that were too triggering to look at ages ago. guess i need to find them lol #god. it really does feel like such a silly stupid issue i have here. like if someone else told me they had issue w this id be like #no yeah of course that sounds horrible im so sorry etc #but alas i am not so forgiving w myself like #oh yeah im apparently traumatized ig by uhhhh Being Assigned Homework. like. normal amount. it was fine and all #like i passed shit. it was extremely difficult and i barely made it in some classes but i did Get Thru It and i had like accommodations to #turn in shit late and everything but uhhhhhhh #yea #theres slightly more to it than that ig but! like. basically. that is basically. #im a huge baby who couldnt do their fucking homework and now if i see Study Tips ill start crying #which is super inconvenient cos like hey bitch you know what might help with the homework? #taking my brain out of my skull and shaking it #anyway. im way offtopic here #the point is that i have so fucking many pictures of fish #and also pictures of birds from the beach i have soooo fucking many. i should post more Photos

[femmeidiot]

If my environmental justice teacher makes an EJ capstone course and I get to be in it plus next semester I get to take the plastics class with one of my other favorite professors I just 🥰🥰🥰

#Like if the capstone class happens how he was talking about it we’d intern for this legal nonprofit #and we would probably take a trip to standing rock which would be incredible #The plastics class is already a done deal and I’m excited about that #And I get to use it as one of my policy electives which is nice #anyway I needed today to remind me not to get too bogged down by Assignments #I really care about what I’m learning and I love to learn and I’m grateful for the opportunities I have to learn even though school is so #stressful

[kohakhearts]

now that the insomnia fic is finished i can focus on the other fics i want to write but one of them is huge. giant. and here i am. writing it for a silly little rarepair

#shigegou nation i need you now #taylor.txt #ANYWAY idk when that one will be finished. the IDEA is very ambitious but im not sure what thatll translate into re word count #i may split it into a few chapters. likely no more than idk. 3? #anyway. i did not fill my queue. i am back to school. it is midterm season. i did not study during my study break #basically i dont expect to get these fics done in a timely fashion. and id still like to take a stab at nano too #so im going to try to divide my time between school work and writing mostly #also my anipoke watch. im sub 40 episodes to the end of it. and boy am i not having good time. but im determined #by christmas i will have writing done. and i’ll be virtually done with school. and itll be beautiful. manifesting #anyway next on my list is for the stalking prompt but since thats in like nine days and ive got about 100 words so for. its not looking good #since i have uh. 3? biggish tests coming up in the next two weeks. that i really have to study for cause idk shit about fuck #not to mention the regular assignments and whatnot. and oh my god i forgot to fold my laundry #ANYWAY GOOD NIGHT. after i fold my laundry

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

When your mom's going to get a job for the first time in over 20 years while you're still in school because even though she doesn't think she quite needs to your dad's stressed about money and you know what she's not saying is that your medical bills are a huge part of it :p

#she said bc of the trip we had to take for a funeral in addition to the trip we took last summer on purpose and bc things are just getting #more and more expensive and such #but I know how much the bills cost #I know my dad looked at them and wanted to apply for financial aid #I know I haven't heard any talk of the new car (not even new just nee to us) in months even though he's had the same car for 10 years #and I know I want slightly more regular appointments but now I definitely know I can't #and I know I desperately need to get back on the search for a therapist after failed attempts and I really need one but now I can't bare #the thought #I already have a show I'm not prepared for a competition and pops concert auditions next week #and now I have this #oh and of course failing home school because I just haven't been good on doing it recently and sometimes we've been too busy or #tired to assign it #love that for me #but hey!!!! I caught up on my spanish work!!! #sigh #:') #vent #vent tw #money #I can't take a huge change right now #I had my second panic attack last week before I even knew about this job I just can't #money tw

[dentixvoxel]

I've been feeling unreasonably stressed abt something that one really shouldn't be stressed abt but im just

#ivan.docx #its abt the support worker i was assigned #nd there's really nothing wrong with her and i was able to start reading the books i need to for school #but because her job is to be support in daily life and whatnot then she wants to be more idk i guess involved? #this monday i have to go back to tallinn bcuz we agreed to go on a walk and my brain is like ''nonononononono'' #and i have to see her every week and im like. augh #i just feel awful because i have access to a service plenty of ppl would fight hard for and here i am resisting it #because my brain feels like my autonomy is under Attack. #my regular life regime has been disrupted and i Cannot stand it #it just feels wayyyy too hands on for me. and my brain HATES it. like oof ouch get away.

[iron-niffler]

fucking losing it rn lmao

#im just so tired #was up all of Sunday night fucking around crying and doing all of one homework assignment #now iit seems I'll be up almost all night tonight because chemistry is a bitch #and i have an exam Wednesday ive barely studied for because my fucking period emotions are hitting really hard #and im just losing it chemistry fucking sucks #iea sucks #calc sucks #all i want is to fucking sleep #and ofc i probably won't get to sleep till midnight tonight at the EARLIEST #because i have too many classes tomorrow and also have to study for my fucking exam #then after that exam is over i have to study for another fucking exam #im just so goddamn done with everything #i wander around campus in the middle of the night sobbing a disturbing amount #after all this is over no matter the fucking outcome im treating myself to a froreal and a trip to Walmart #because my stupid umbrella broke #i have no idea how to study because ive barely ever needed to #im doing much worse than in high school so feel like an absolute failure #and im just so tired #so ranty break over imma get back to balancing the fucking chemical equations so i can MAYBE get two fucking hours of sleep tonight #well ya girl just finished probably the worst chem post lab in existence but not i can get a full 2.5 hours of sleep!

[noxtivagus]

SHADOWBRINGERS.... listening to the song again n oh god i love the lyrics so so much we r ignoring the fact that i have to wake up in like less than 4 hours

#🌙.vent #i just have 1 assignment due tmrrw n i don't want to do it :') like yeah i'm definitely still going to but. it's a letter to ourselves.... #i write a lot to myself that is very much evident but it's so hard to actually organize it. & fuck too bcs it's due 10 pm later today #i hate doing things for the sake of academics. says me w my grades lmfao but despite how well i manage i really do hate the school system #i wanted to ramble abt ffxiv oh no i get so distracted when i start writing. but. god my mind rn i don't understand #🥹 this stupid mental block ???? w the break nearly ending there's sm more i have to do but i need to sleep . but not having this started is #messing me up sm rn. i want to put a lot of effort into it but i'm at a loss for words. i wrote some ideas days back but i've changed a bit #this moment ideally right now where i'm in a better mood than i have been for the past few days but not as brain empty #a balance of fiction and reality. enough to keep me not sad but enough to keep me stressed? #i would like to get it started now. i know i want to. but i can't. i just can't seem to. it's not lack of motivation right now. it's. #....maybe a fear? a fear that gives me some sort of mental block. because i really really want to at least start writing something but #i can't start. & goddamn this is not what i meant to write about i wanted to write of shadowbringers & maybe a little of today #but i guess this just has been. bothering me for a while. buried somewhere in my mind #i've been this age for like. more than a week now huh. it's daunting it's scary but i've always loved & sought the thrill of challenges. bu #alright i wasn't able to read anything i wanted to. nor did i watch as much as i would've liked. & i didn't really bond with my friends #save for texts here n then. talking in ffxiv w that one too. & that very one call on bday yh. & tumblr too ofc c: but i didn't do the schoo #stuff i wanted to do this break. but my rank in pjsekai's lowering. nor playing arknights/nier again yet. & fixing my sleep. but.... #i didn't wake up any later than 4 pm. i went out for a walk earlier with apollo. i wrote asks to a friend here on tumblr. new books. #new game. plans to make an fc in ffxiv. i ate what i could. i got up even when it hurt. i'm playing gbf again. i'm rlly happy abt that #perhaps it's not enough for me. i can't get rid of my heavy regrets so easily. but acknowledging what i have done that was good enough #trying my best to be kind to myself in this moment even though i feel like crying. acknowledging my pain. maybe. maybe that's #i'm listening to ashes of dreams rn fuck i'm actually going to cry i think bulbel is next in my queue i #it hurts yes n i feel like crying right now but there's. this ache in my chest that replaced the cold emptiness earlier #maybe that's not a good thing uhh but the warmth. that warmth. i'm alive i'm real n there's a tomorrow n that's enough hope #it has to be. it fucking has to be. just. little steps. guide my own self slowly n softly like i do for others. i deserve that too. #i'll give it to myself. surely i must owe myself at least that much. being human comes with its many burdens but i don't need to be #so harsh to myself right? ironic saying that right now while i know there's something so dear to me i'm denying right now #it's like i'm a wilting flower fighting against time to stay alive. but the petals slowly decay n it gets colder the longer the dark night #would an outside light help the blossom find its own light? or would it make it disappear. i wonder #did the flower grow to be meant to be undeserving of such kindness? or are there thorns on its petals that serve as an unbeknownst barrier?

[earlyspringtranscendence]

i wish betting on wrestling was like a thing because while i would never win if i bet on anything else (am bad at recognising patterns that actually mean anything) i would cash in soooooo much because i can ALWAYS tell when a jericho feud’s gonna run way too long again 😌

#hello hi . im stressed out this fair sunday evening #feel like im failing at school already its been like a month and yet #one of my teachers v much implied i'd fail her assignment if i didnt do a bunch of extra shit and like #theres reasons for it that i can see from her side but theres also just the issue that i told her about of like #i just dont know how to work with that many materials and slash or i cant go out and buy all these things right now #and then she's like well go down to xyz and ask them to do it for you and its like honey i dont know why you think we've got such a like #mutually beneficial relationship going on between all the applied and fine arts in this school like #thats a fiction that lives in your head ... especially after we just didn't exist in this school for a whole year #and anyway. i went ahead and tried some different materials and its just like. you cant make up what an insane failure thats been #and its not that i didnt try my best its just that like idk what she wants from me #cause anyway theres a reason i picked the materials that i did the first time round #changing those just kinda changes the meaning of the thing in general... which is something SHE teaches us #anyway. and tomorrow i have class w someone who i'm Difficult with (as in like i have a hard time around her im not purposefully difficult) #(its just that she makes me feel that way cause of the 'tism and cause of the fact she thinks she knows how to handle the 'tism) #(she doesnt) #and again i did a lot of work for her im just sure she's gonna expect me to have done more #but in my defense. i need to go to the doctor and see if they can prescribe me some form of ritalin bc my exhaustion was so bad last wk #and has been bad for a hot second lately #and theres really only so much i can do with the spoons at hand #anyway. and im also Sad Right Now because ive been ignored and interrupted while saying things a little too frequently recently #and im not laughing. im having a Time. #i didnt even have that bad of a week all things considered but goddd i need a break

[lacebird]

school starts in like a week, gonna try to be a better student <3

#school aint online anymore so now i really gotta man up and study on my own #uni is too far away so i'm relying on self-reading + asking profs q's via mail + whatever powerpoints they upload #hope i can balance work and uni bc they need me a lot at work #it's all about discipline (which i have none <3= #currently am setting up a notebook where i'll write down all my assignments #and do weekly spreads where i write down what i studied every day #kind of like a study diary #hopefully that'll make me not go insane