#i thrive off negativity or whatever lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dearqueerdeers · 11 months

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no wait actually as an avid reader English classes pissed me off so bad in high school. before high school I just found them vaguely annoying because it was super easy stuff— the author says in paragraph 3 that daisy is mad. Which of these word is a synonym for “mad”?— but in high school they really started to lean into analysis that was deeper than “surface level”. Here’s the thing. I’ve been writing fanfiction since I was 11. I know how to read between the lines. I know how to analyze shit. Been doing it forever. So I get to English classes where they’re asking me to do that and I go “great! this will be fun!”— only to be told that I am, in fact, wrong, in my interpretation of whatever current book we were reading.

This happened a lot for a lot of books (I am autistic lmao), but the one that infuriates me to this day is when we read Things Fall Apart in my senior year English class. Note that we did not read Heart of Darkness, which supposedly this book was a response to, so I could very well be missing a chunk of analysis here. It essentially followed a man living in Nigeria pre-colonialism and followed his life as European “missionaries” slowly started invading the surrounding area & eventually his home. According to my English teacher, Heart of Darkness portrayed the indigenous people in African in a very negative light and erased a lot of their culture, and Things Fall Apart was written as a rebuttal to showcase the rich culture and interior lives of the people portrayed as “savages” in Heart of Darkness.

And yes, the book did a wonderful job of showcasing the presence of a thriving culture and the personhood of those living in Nigeria! However. This teacher absolutely refused to hear any analysis that painted the main character in a bad light. If you pointed out that any of his actions were bad and suggested that he had personal growth to do, she’d shut you down immediately. I specifically was told “it’s a different culture and you can’t judge them based on our cultural standards.” My class was told the protagonist was a good guy trying his best, & that’s what the book was trying to showcase. If you listened to my English teacher without ever touching this book, you’d probably think it was about a guy doing his best and who therefore didn’t deserve the violence he experienced at the hands of the colonizers. (Disclaimer here that shouldn’t need to be said but I’m saying it anyways: You can’t “deserve” to be colonized. No culture or individual person should ever be forced to endure colonization. Full stop, period, end of story.)

Here’s the thing. This dude sucked balls, guys. He murders his adopted son. He hits his kids. He abuses his wives. & the whole time shows no learning from any of these actions. And those actions formed my analysis of the book! My analysis was that this guy sucked hard and the point of the book was that even when people suck, colonization is bad. My TEACHER’S analysis (and the only analysis she allowed us to discuss) was that this guy was a good guy and the point of the book was to make us feel bad that a good guy was the victim of colonization. I don’t even think I need to unpack why that’s totally bullshit, y’all have reading comprehension skills lmao.

To this day I still bitch about this book and this unit to my friends who were in that class. Not that any media analysis should ever be considered “right” or “wrong,” but to be told I was wrong in my analysis when I so very clearly was not was infuriating.

#post inspired by that post about banning books #we should ABSOLUTELY be taught to critically engage with media.#we should be taught analysis.#but if your teaching of media analysis involved one singular Correct answer and marking everything else as Wrong? you aren’t doing it right #I half-considered turning in an essay to that teacher over that book where I ran with her analysis #and accepted that him being a good person made him not deserving of racism #except flipped it and gone ‘okay if that’s true. then this guys must’ve deserved racism for being a shit person ¯\_(ツ)_/¯’#and just ran with the whole essay like that lmao #unfortunately my high school was in Small Town Racism Texas and the chances of someone un-satirically writing that same essay were. high #abuse mention #things fall apart 😒#my post

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ame-perduexx · 3 years

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Astro Notes🌹🕊🌻

Leo Suns probably felt isolated as a kid, always searching to belong to a group of friends, but never feeling completely accepted (but I’ve noticed from an outside perspective they seem popular w/focus on their public persona)

Virgo Venus hold on to relationships in a way to try to fix it or repair it back to how it was in the beginning - they seem to thrive in that honeymoon stage of relationships

Fire placements listen to EDM most consistently

- i know its been said time and time again but I’ve recently discovered how many Scorpio Mars (myself included) I’m surrounded by and sex/sexuality plays a huge role in their relationships - esp the case of ones sex drive being incompatible with their partner

Sag Moons deserve gold medal in gaslighting...type to knowingly pass their own irritation and frustration onto their loved ones and then be pressed by any negative responses they receive - expect to be coddled at allllll times and take no responsibility for the emotional terrorism they inflict

Aquarius Moons are serial daters bc they can never find what they’re looking for bc they...literally have no clue

Taurus Moons enjoy hosting parties or get-togethers w/friends and loved ones and usually provide lots of drinks and foodies to fulfill the experience for everyone involved

Capricorn Placements are usually the ones to never be in a serious relationship for a long long long time - prob enter their first ones in early twenties bc if they’re gonna do it they wanna do it right - they mention it to ppl they know a lot also lmao

Water moons listen to music religiously - it plays a huge role in how they express themselves and is like their own personal therapy

Libra risings.....usually super tall?? esp for what is average for women i’ve noticed

The sign of your Descendant will be the one your endlessly drawn to repeatedly in your life...they can play a frustrating role, one where it may seem like the more you try to cling to these ppl in your life the more they seem to pull away...whatever sign it is will pop in any heavy placement in ppl that will influence your life greatly i swear!!!!

✨✨✨

***as always take what you want, leave what you want!!! these are only based off ppl I personally know, so don’t take it too seriously <33

#Aries #Taurus #gemini #cancer #Leo #Virgo #libra #Scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquaruius #Pisces #astrology #astro notes #astro observations #zodiac #random zodiac observations #zodiac signs

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lumosandnoxwriting · 3 years

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Trying So Hard - Harry Potter

Title: Trying So Hard Pairing: Harry x Fem!Reader Warnings: NSFW!!! Unprotected sex, fingering, tbh this is pretty vanilla lmao mentions of pregnancy/trouble conceiving! Summary: Sometimes in life instead of trying hard, it’s best to not try at all. A/N: for the anon who wanted Harry and his wife trying to get pregnant! Feedback is always welcome!!

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“Negative,” Y/N sighs sadly as she rejoins Harry in their bedroom. She drops the used pregnancy test in the garbage can before collapsing onto their bed.

Harry frowns and moves so he’s laying next to Y/N and wraps an arm around her middle, pulling her to his chest tightly. “It’s okay, sweetheart. We knew it wouldn’t happen first try. It’ll happen when the time is right, yeah?”

“But this wasn’t the first try,” Y/N responds quietly. “Five months and five negative pregnancy tests. I thought now was the right time, but I guess not.”

Deciding when to have a baby was not an easy decision for Harry and Y/N. Both of their careers have been thriving, and they were both torn on whether they were ready to slow them down to have a family. But every time a baby so much as looked at Y/N when they were out in public her heart would melt and her chest would start to yearn for her own little bundle of joy to coo at. And whenever Harry stopped by Hogwarts to give a guest lecture or visit Hagrid he couldn’t help but wonder what it’ll feel like when he gets to send his own kids off to school. Spending the holidays with the Weasleys surrounded by Bill’s and Percy’s kids only solidified what Y/N and Harry felt in their hearts: they were ready to start their family. They decided to start trying in the new year, and now with it nearly halfway gone, they’re no closer to beginning parents then they were at the start.

Harry starts to rub Y/N’s back in slow strokes, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. “I know it’s gotta be discouraging, sweetheart. All the negatives. But half the fun of starting a family is making the baby, isn’t it?” he jokes, hoping to make Y/N smile. The corners of her mouth twitch faintly, and Harry leans down to hiss her softly. “So, we’ll just keep trying and before you know it we’ll be swimming in baby clothes and diapers. Just you wait and see.”

“I know, I know,” Y/N sniffles as tears suddenly start to flow down her cheeks. “It’s just so discouraging, seeing that stupid negative each time. Like we’re not supposed to have a baby or something.”

“Y/N,” Harry coos, holding her tightly as she sobs. “Everything will be okay. We just gotta trust the process.” Harry starts to rub her back harder, slowly rocking them on their bed, desperately trying to make his wife feel better.

“You take the test?” Harry asks excitedly as he joins Y/N in bed. In their efforts to start a family Y/N has started tracking her cycle more closely and taking fertility tests to determine when it’s at its highest and giving them the best chance at conceiving. They’ve been trying for seven months now, and Harry has gotten pretty good at remembering when the different parts of her cycle occur.

“No,” Y/N says flatly, not even bothering to look up at Harry from her book.

It had only Y/N two more months of trying and two more negative pregnancy tests after her breakdown for her to get completely discouraged. Her and Harry have an unlimited amount of yearning for a baby and an equal amount of love to give a baby, but clearly the universe doesn’t think they’re ready, or deserving of one. It doesn’t help that it seems everywhere she goes is filled with pregnant women and babies. Three of her coworkers announce they’re expecting in the same week, and when Y/N stops at the market on the way home she’s stuck in the checkout line with a baby on either side of her. It’s as if the universe is laughing at her, and it’s starting to make Y/N think that having a baby just isn’t in the cards for her and Harry.

Harry’s eyebrows furrow as he slips under the covers next to Y/N. “You got your period already? It’s like what, 10 days early?”

Y/N rolls her eyes, of course Harry would know that. “No, I just don’t feel like doing anything tonight is all. No matter what those stupid fertility tests say.”

“Sweetheart,” Harry starts, reaching out to grab her hip. When Y/N scoots away from his touch he frowns. “I know it’s been hard on you, all the negative tests. But we just gotta keep trying, yeah? We’ll get there eventually and that’s what matters.”

“I’m just not in the mood tonight, Harry,” Y/N says firmly, finally looking away from her book so she can look Harry in the eyes. “It feels like we’ve been having sex nonstop since January I just want one night to myself. Is that alright with you?”

Harry’s taken aback by Y/N’s harsh tone and he retracts the hand he’d been trying to settle on her before leaning back against the pillows. “Alright, yeah. Of course, Y/N. Whatever you want.”

Except one-night turns to two, which turns to three. And then before Harry knows it Y/N’s period starts, and their baby making window for the month has closed with them barely even kissing, let alone trying to conceive. He gets that Y/N is disappointed that they haven’t had the easiest time getting pregnant but shutting him out completely is certainly not the answer to their problems. It seems like every time he tries to touch her she’s shying away, barely letting his fingers ghost over her skin and as much as he misses their sexual intimacy, he misses their regular intimacy as well. Harry’s so used to just casually reaching over and grabbing Y/N’s hand while they walk together or sit and eat together, or throwing his arm over her shoulder and cuddling her close while they sit on the couch together and the feeling of her body tangled with his in their bed never fails to lull him to sleep. But now all he has to get by is a quick kiss in the morning before work and another before they go to sleep. It’s killing him on the inside, and he wish he knew how to make her feel better.

“What going on with you?” Hermione asks during lunch one day. “You’ve been awfully quiet for the past few days. Something’s gotta be on your mind.”

Harry sighs and pushes some of the food around on his plate. His and Y/N’s baby making plans have been a secret shared only between them, so that when they’d reveal the news of their pregnancy to their friends and family it’d be even more surprising. But Harry needs to talk to someone and if Y/N won’t let him in Hermione and Ron are his next best options.

“Just relationship stuff with Y/N. We’ve been going through it the past couple months,” Harry responds, looking up at his friends.

“Marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, eh?” Ron jokes, prompting Hermione to smack him on the arm. “I was only trying to make him laugh ‘mione, no need to turn this into a domestic,” Ron grumbles, rubbing the spot Hermione hit.

Hermione rolls her eyes fondly and reaches over to grab Ron’s hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “What’s going on, Harry? Did you two get into a fight or something?”

“Not exactly. We’ve been trying to a baby since the start of the year and things just aren’t working and-.”

Hermione holds her hand up to cut Harry off. “I’m sorry, what? You’ve been trying for a baby and haven’t told us? We’re your best friends, Harry.”

Harry’s cheeks flush pink. “We haven’t told anyone, Hermione. That way when we announced it everyone would be more surprised, and it’d be more special. But it’s been 7 months, and nothing has happened yet, and Y/N is getting, I dunno, depressed maybe? We didn’t try at all last month and she barely even lets me touch her anymore.”

Hermione frowns. “I’m sorry, Harry. I can’t even imagine what you and Y/N must be going through. Have you tried talking to her about it?”

“I don’t even really know what to say,” Harry admits honestly. “I feel like I’d end up saying something stupid and end up making things worse.”

“Then do something to make her feel special. Let her know that you’re thinking about her and that you’ll be there when she’s ready to talk,” Hermione explains softly. “Help take some of the pressure I’m sure she’s feeling off of her shoulders. Reconnect naturally, take things slow. Let her know there’s no rush to have a baby. That it’ll happen when it happens and that’s alright with you.”

“Harry, love. I’m home!” Y/N shouts as she shuts the door behind her. The living room is drenched in shakes of orange and red from the sunset streaming in through the windows, but the rest of the house is dark. She can see the faintest light coming from somewhere upstairs, so she heads towards it, throwing her bag on the couch and kicking her shoes off as she goes. “You up here, love?”

A surprised noise falls from her lips when she enters their bedroom, her eyes landing on Harry. He’s standing in the middle of the candlelit room holding a bouquet of roses, with a bright smile on his face. She steps into the room slowly, feeling tears coming to her eyes.

“Welcome home, sweetheart,” Harry greets, handing Y/N the flowers. He wraps his arms around her waist and presses a soft kiss to her cheek. “Have a good day at work?”

“Uh yeah, it was sound,” Y/N responds slowly, her mind racing to try and figure out what’s going on. Her eyes flutter closed as she takes a deep breath, smelling the sweet scent the roses are giving off. She relaxes into Harry’s embrace for what feels like the first time in weeks. “What’s all this for? Did I forget our anniversary or something?”

Harry chuckles, shaking his head. “Just wanted to do something to show you how much I appreciate you, Y/N. I know things this year haven’t worked out the way we wanted them to and that’s disappointing for both of us, but that’s okay. Having a baby is supposed to be fun and exciting and I think we’ve been putting too much pressure on it. So, to hell with the fertility tests and having sex just because we’re trying to have a baby. Let’s just, be together. And if a baby comes this year it comes. And if not, we’ll just keep trying.”

“Harry,” Y/N says softly, pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. She can feel a few tears leaking down her cheeks, wiping a few away as their kiss breaks. “I’ve been such an awful wife and just person in general lately. I’ve been pushing you away instead of just talking to you about how I feel. I just kept thinking that it’s my fault that we haven’t gotten pregnant yet and I just feel so bad. Like I’m not good enough for you or something.”

Harry takes the bouquet of roses from Y/N and tosses them aside so he can embrace Y/N properly. “Sweetheart you should never feel like that. It’s not your fault, it’s just life. The universe will give us a baby when it’s our time.” Harry kisses her again, cupping her face gently. “Now you can go soak in the bath I just drew while I order us some dinner.”

Y/N bites her lip and brings her hands up to Harry’s neck, dangling her hands in the hair on the back of his head. “Or we could make up for lost time,” she whispers, bringing their mouths together in a hot kiss. Y/N feels Harry’s grip tighten on her waist as he deepens their kiss, and she starts to move them back towards the bed.

“Only if you’re sure, sweetheart,” Harry breathes as he lands on the bed. He watches with wide eyes as Y/N pulls her shirt off over her head, his eyes raking over every inch of skin that’s revealed. He pulls his own shirt off and grabs Y/N’s hips as she settles on his lap.

“Very sure,” she purrs, leaning down to press kisses against Harry’s neck. “I’ve been lonely without you, Harry and it feels like the right time.” Y/N reattaches their lips, grinding her hips down against Harry’s as she slowly lays him back on the bed.

Harry lets out a gasp against Y/N’s mouth as she grinds down against him, his cock twitching in his trousers. He guides her hips down against him, letting his lips trail down across Y/N’s jaw to her neck. “God I’ve missed you,” he groans, nipping at the sensitive skin on her throat.

Y/N moans as Harry sucks on her neck and reaches behind herself to unhook her bra. Once the piece of fabric is off of her arms she tosses it aside and rolls onto her back, so Harry is now hovering over her. “Yeah? Missed having me wrapped around you?” she asks through a moan as Harry nips at her collarbone.

Harry kisses further down Y/N’s chest, stopping to flick at her nipples with his tongue. “You have no idea, sweetheart. I love being close with you, I’ve missed the feeling of your body against mine.”

“Harry,” Y/N moans as he takes one of her nipples in his mouth, her nails scratching down his back. She pushes her hips up against his, desperately searching for friction on her aching pussy. Y/N hasn’t felt the best about herself over the past few weeks, but having Harry make an effort to make her feel special has put her on top of the world, and she’s aching with need.

Harry chuckles and leans up, pressing a brief kiss to Y/N’s mouth. He smirks as her hands immediately land on the waist band of his jeans and her fingers start to work at the button and zipper. “Someone’s eager,” he teases lightly, pinching and rolling one of Y/N’s nipples between his fingers. Her back arches and a breathy moan falls from her lips, causing him to apply more pressure.

Y/N whines as Harry takes her nipple back into his mouth, her fingers shaking as she shoves his jeans and boxers down to the tops of his thighs. Her hand immediately wraps around his cock, starting to stroke him lightly. “Please, Harry. More.”

Harry groans as her hand twists around his cock, his hips moving up into her strokes. It’s only been a few weeks since they were last intimate, but the feeling of Y/N’s hand gripping him tightly is pure euphoria. It makes him feel like a teenager again, when everything was new and exciting. The past several months sex between them has felt robotic, still extremely pleasurable, but it was as if it was a necessity, not something they were doing because they both yearned for the touch of their spouse. But this, tonight, feels passionate and raw like how they used to be and while Harry would love to draw this out, he feels just as desperate as Y/N does and he can’t help but give into her demands.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” Harry kisses Y/N again before reluctantly pulling away and getting off the bed to rid her of the rest of her clothes. He takes her skirt and panties off in one go, letting his eyes trail up her bare legs to her dripping core as he settles back on the bed between her splayed thighs. He lets his fingers ghost up her soft legs heading to wear she needs him most. Harry just barely brushes her clit with his thumb, his index finger softly circling her entrance. “So wet, sweetheart. Just gonna warm you up a bit before I give you what you want.”

Y/N lets out a low moan as Harry sinks his index finger into her pussy, her walls immediately clenching and flexing around the digit. “So good,” she pants, her hips starting to work down against his hand. “Always make me feel so good, Harry.”

Harry flushes under Y/N’s praise, and he leans up to kiss her slowly as he brings another finger in to join the first. He curls them both, and when Y/N moans he takes the opportunity to lick into her mouth. He speeds up the movements of his fingers, scissoring them inside of her to make sure Y/N is ready to take him. He applies more pressure to her clit and kisses her one last time before pulling away. “Ready for me, sweetheart?”

Y/N swallows thickly as she nods, her chest heaving with deep breaths. She can’t remember the last time she was this turned on from a bit of teasing, and her pussy is aching to be full of Harry. “Always ready for you, love.”

Harry hitches on of Y/N’s legs on his hip and grabs the base of his cock, slowly guiding himself to her entrance. He braces himself over her on one hand, rolling his hips forward slowly until he’s fully sheathed inside of Y/N. They both groan as their hips touch and Harry leans down to kiss Y/N sweetly.

“Move please,” Y/N begs as Harry breaks their kiss, her hips slowly grinding down against him. She lets out a whine as Harry starts to finally move, his hips moving at a moderate pace as they slam back into her hard. “God you feel incredible, Harry. Missed your cock so much.”

Harry brings one of his hands to Y/N’s core, starting to rub her clit in hard circles. Her thighs are trembling around him and Harry starts to fuck back into Y/N quicker. “Feel so good, sweetheart. Always so tight for me, gripping me so well.” He can feel her walls pulsating around him and Harry hitches the leg on his hip over her shoulder so he can fuck even deeper into Y/N. “Fuck,” he moans at the new angle, his hips stuttering. “Feel like heaven, Y/N.”

“Getting so close Harry, fuck,” Y/N moans as her toes curl from the pleasure radiating around her body. The tip of Harry’s cock is massaging her g-spot with every thrust and with the lack of sexual activity between them the past few weeks she can already feel her orgasm edging closer and closer. “Harder,” she begs, reaching up to dig her nails into his shoulders.

Harry complies, slamming his hips into Y/N’s with more power. “Come on, sweetheart. Want you to cum on my cock. Wanna make you feel good.”

“Oh god Harry, fuck,” Y/N moans as she cums, her eyes rolling to the back of her head and her back arching as pleasure rolls through her body. She can feel her thighs trembling and she clenches around Harry tighter, wanting to bring him to his orgasm as well.

“That’s it sweetheart, gonna cum, fuck,” Harry groans, his grip on Y/N’s hip tightening as he reaches his climax. His hips roll slowly as his cock twitches inside of her, shooting his release deep into Y/N. He doesn’t stop moving until he’s emptied himself completely and he slowly pulls out before collapsing against Y/N on the bed.

“I love you so much,” Y/N murmurs as she cuddles into Harry’s side, pressing a kiss into his sweaty skin.

Harry hums and leans down to press a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you too, Y/N.” Harry kisses her again, before lifting her chin up to look Y/N in the eyes. “How about that bath?” he asks with a cheeky grin.

“Oh my god,” Y/N gasps, her hand shaking as she looks at the pregnancy test in her hand. The positive pregnancy test in her hand.

She’s not even sure what possessed her to take the test. Her period isn’t even late yet and she’s felt no symptoms, but when she left Harry on the couch watching a film to use the bathroom, she had this overwhelming urge to take a pregnancy test. They had bought them in bulk when they first started trying, and there were still a few stashed under the sink in their bathroom, waiting for when the moment was right. Y/N hadn’t even thought this could be the moment, but now that it is she can feel happy tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Took you long enough,” Harry comments absentmindedly when he hears Y/N’s footsteps approach. “Missed half the bloody movie you were gone so long.” When Y/N doesn’t join in with his laughter Harry turns around, worry immediately taking over him when he notices the tears on her face. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

Y/N joins Harry on the couch excitedly, shoving the pregnancy test into his face. “I’m pregnant. We’re pregnant. We’re gonna have a baby!”

Harry’s jaw drop as he looks at the test in his hands, reading the word pregnant over and over again. He looks up at Y/N then and he lurches forward kissing her hard. “I love you so fucking much,” he whispers, pulling Y/N into a tight hug.

“I love you too,” Y/N responds, placing her hands on her stomach between them. “You and our baby.”

#harry potter #Harry Potter imagine #Harry Potter smut #hp #golden

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offtopicoverload · 3 years

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how would your ideal LI season go?

oooh thank you anon this was really fun and definitely too long and entirely unrealistic because of all the variables but oh well i had fun lmao

Okay I’m just going to start by talking about LIs

I think one of Season 3’s biggest successes was making AJ available from the start, I think that definitely kept those who play for the girls interested

HOWEVER i also think we need one of each: an AJ, a Talia, and a Marisol

Someone you can couple up with right off the bat, someone that takes a bit of time to warm up, maybe around the halfway mark, and someone that isn’t available til the last or second to last recoupling, maybe because they’re only bicurious or its just in their character to take a while to warm up in general, they spent the season in friendship couples or blowing their shot because they didn’t want to move too quick

I know the amount of LIs in Season 2 is a huge attraction, but it obviously wasn’t maintainable, since so many LIs lost their personality after CA

Again, I think Season 3 did great on ideas, but bad execution on drama and actual plot

So I’d probably keep it about 9, maybe 10

And ideally one of them would be trans, probably a trans guy with top surgery scars. Someone makes a joke on the first day and he explains no problem, is open about it and his experiences, maybe he was kicked out as a teenager and is all about positivity and loving people for who they are because of it

I’m all on board for a enby or gnc character or MC, but I honestly think Love Island’s too binary for someone like that to thrive

OH! And an ace LI that’s probably sex neutral and really comfortable with it. They’re up front with their sexuality but have no problem with how sex-focused Love Island is, like they’re fine with the flirting and intimate stuff, they’re just not attracted at the end of the day

Or have this season’s slowburn female LI be demi? I’m not demi, only ace, so I can’t speak on that experience, but I think that might work pretty well, maybe she goes in knowing she’s demisexual and comes out of it knowing she’s demiromantic too? Id love that but idk

I want to touch on customization too, since there’s nowhere near enough

Definitely body types

I forget who said it, but have the typical thin type, a muscular type, and a plus sized

And don’t get me wrong, I know it’s extra work for the artists, but I personally think it’d be worth, but who knows

Make fantasy hair colours possible - blue, green, purple, pink, silver - with the type of variety S3 had, in a style closer to S2

Also tats! And piercings! Just like a septum or some ear piercing, maybe a lip, nothing too difficult

And allow for actually different personalities and careers

I get that most people who apply are going to be outgoing and influencers, but this is all fake anyway so who cares

Have your personality impact LIs, certain LIs are easier to get hearts with with a certain personality, while others have more negative reactions to that personality

Lot of coding but this is just my make believe, what’s the harm

Okay into each day

Id have 20 days, since I agree that that’s a pretty good sweet spot

And Im definitely on board with MC being a bombshell, but instead of introing her on the first day, Id do the second

First half of the episode is spent as a recap of the first day, 5 couples like usual, let’s call the Islanders Bobby, Harry, Camilo, Bill, Rohan, AJ, Talia, Elladine, Miki, and Erikah, I’ll explain later, it’s pretty much for one single reason each

So MC’s first day is the Islander’s second, she shows up like Lucas & Henrik, before all the Islanders are up, and she has an option to say hi to someone early, add a gem to be upfront about being interested or something, during the second half of the first episode

Second episode starts with all the Islanders finding MC and saying hi, whoever you chose to have a chat with’s partner is kinda salty, if you chose a guy

MC ends the day choosing between any of the guys and two of the girls, AJ and Talia

For the guys, like Season 3, three are endgame, ones a red herring like Rohan in Season 1, and one’s up front about it being a friendship couple from the start, since I definitely think we need actual friendship couples - this friendship couple guy is Bobby, but without the pushy crush

Rohan is initially interested, but like in Season 1, he gives it up after a while

AJ is super into it and happy if you pick her and has no problem with it, while Talia has a “no thanks” thing and makes you pick again

Basically, youre not supposed to pick Talia because she’s not open to that yet, and that tosses you off her route or makes it really difficult to fix, maybe only a few dialogue options over the next few days or a specific personality gets her to forgive you. If you don’t pick her, you can couple up later as normal

Day 2 is like it usually is, you’re LIs original partner starts grafting on your LI if you have a male LI, Bobby doesn’t care if you steal AJ, you just have to have a talk with him and he’s fine

You can attempt to reconcile with their original partner, and if you succeed they’ll stop, if not your LI will step in and tell her he’s not interested

Day 3 finds a whole Villa recouping with a dumping. If you have a female LI, then girls are choosing, and AJ will pick you, however there is no dumping for future numbers sake, I know it doesn’t make much sense for the guys to be safe but whatever

If you have a male LI, the boys are choosing. If youre with Bobby, you get stolen and have to help Bobby decide who to dump.

He’ll always choose to dump Miki, regardless of who your LIs ex was or what you say. His reasoning is that she hasn’t made a connection and she was accidentally mean to him once and this Bobby’s hella sensitive

Bobby kinda struggles with it and has a rough few days - You have the option to be sympathetic and keep him available as a friendship couple option, or be a jerk and lose the option to be in a friendship couple

Day 4 is a bit of a filler day, with a fun challenge and some actual conversations.

You learn about your LI and someone else of your choosing, whether that’s a friend, like Ell or Erikah, or another LI youre romancing, like Talia or another of the guys

This is the first time Talia starts to be honest with MC about maybe fancying her and being open to seeing what happens

Day 5 has bombshells: a guy and a girl. The girl is our Marisol of this season, which can also explain away why she’s so slow to open up, she feels like an outcast since she came late and MC can empathise better than anyone which is how they initially bond

The guy is also a LI, but far more bold than Marisol, he has no trouble grafting in front of MC’s LI and trying to steal her or win her over - I’m just going to call him Lucas

Day 6 has another boys’ choice disaster recouping, but with the threat of a dumping on an AJ route

No matter how you reacted to Lucas’ flirting, he picks MC, whether you were going to couple up with him or not, he still steals you from your LI just like Season 2, for simplicity’s sake

The other couples get mixed up, a Nope-adjacent couple are split up, let’s say Erikah and Camilo, but they don’t make it all about them. One of the girls had been pining after a guy but he chooses someone else even though she’s available (Elladine, but Bobby’s oblivious), the girl Bobby was planning to couple up with gets stolen (Talia, but regardless of your route, she doesn’t fancy him), so he couples with Marisol

On a male LI route there is no dumping because the couples are already even

On an AJ route, Rohan is the deciding factor between AJ and Miki. Miki is always dumped because she was barely involved the past few days and Bill isn’t that interested in her even though they were coupled up

Day 7 is the start of Casa Amor, but much shorter this time. Two of the guys are endgame - let’s say Arjun and Carl, two are interested in other girls - let’s say Graham and Nicky, and there’s one you CAN get with, but cheats and gets dumped later on, essentially a Rocco, and one just isn’t interested, another friendship couple opportunity if you don’t want to share with one of the LIs - let’s say Seb

Day 8 is still Casa, you get to know the boys or can crack on with any of the female LIs, though this is still applicable to Day 7

You get a chance to either commit to AJ further or say you want a break to crack on with someone else

If you reassure her, she’ll pie off all the guys and you can stay on the daybed together, essentially ignoring the disaster recoupling and pretending youre still together. But if you dump her, she’ll crack on with Seb if you’re not paired with him, and Arjun if you are, just as a sort of revenge

During CA you can get closer with Talia, cheeky winks in public and getting kinda nasty during a challenge

You get sneaky scenes with Marisol where you learn where her head is at and how she has a hard time opening up and letting people in. You can reassure her and say you’ll be patient or pie her off and she’ll get with the season’s Graham, though they’ll have a different dynamic and ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE AS A COUPLE

Im sorry but boaty mcboat face and MARISOL?? i just dont get it, im sorry

You can graft on Arjun & Carl, tell them where your head is at, and they’re far less pushy

They try to impress but they’re not like poking you until you tell them you’ll take them back to the Villa like in S2

Day 9 is the final day of Casa, with a stick or switch

You can take back Arjun, Carl, Seb, or Rocco, although Seb is a platonic option but you can pair with him the rest of the season as aromantic representation

AJ never switches to save Rohan, and to be loyal if youre on her route

Talia doesn’t switch no matter the route, she spent Casa just hanging out which honestly isn’t the best idea outside of her route

Erikah switches, because like Season 1 Erikah, her head turns quickly, it’s just a matter of time. She switches to Rocco if you’re not on his route, and Arjun if you are. This is going to absolutely blow up in her face

Elladine switches because she gets worried Bobby will, picks Nicky and they actually get on really well

Marisol switches to Graham if youre not on her route to stay safe again, though they dont last anyway, and sticks if you are because she spent Casa with MC instead of the guys

Bobby sticks cuz Bobby

Harry always switches to someone, let’s call her Cherry cuz why not

Camilo sticks to get back with MC or Erikah - Erikah switched, effectively dumping him and really upsetting him

Rohan switches to someone, lets call her Shannon, no matter the route

Bill always sticks

Lucas switches to someone, lets call her Blake, no matter what, just for simplicity’s sake and because I’m already ripping from S2 so who cares

Day 10 is aftermath, much like Season 2

You can talk with your previous LI,

Day 11 has a massive dumping where you vote to save a few people

One of the original Villa boys stays, Camilo is the default but if youre on Harry or Bill’s route, they’ll fill his place

Rohan and Bobby survive

If you brought back a Casa boy, you pick between him and Lucas to be dumped

If you didn’t, Lucas is safe automatically

Rocco/Arjun survive, they’re coupled with Erikah

Either Nicky survives to stay with Elladine or Graham is saved for Marisol if she brought him back, Nicky automatically survives if not

For the girls, Erikah, Elladine, Marisol, and MC are safe

You vote between Cherry, Blake, Shannon on who to save, Shannon is the encouraged option because her and Rohan are actually really cute, but he’ll be nice to any of the girls for the rest of the season

You have to vote between AJ and Talia, sorry queers, i hate it too

Day 12 has a recouping where Talia is finally available if you saved her after everything from Casa Amor

You can reunite with your LI from pre-CA or simply stick to youre CA pick, it’s girls choice, MC is somewhere in the middle

Day 13 has two bombshells - both guys, let’s call them Levi and Tai

Levi grafts hard on MC whereas Tai takes a backseat and MC has to go to him instead if shes interested

Day 14 is a grafting day, you can graft and bond with your LI, Levi, Tai, or Marisol

Day 15 is the second to last recoupling, where you can get with every LI

If youre romancing Marisol, you have a fight in the morning because she still won’t commit and she hasn’t really had an drama on her route yet

Day 16 is an explosion of drama

It’s another Roccogate but on an even bigger scale

If you’re on Rocco’s route, you suffer the backlash, and if you’re not, Erikah does but it still blows back to MC in order to keep her involved

Rocco makes a move on Erikah when MC’s with him, and MC when Erikah is. If he makes a move on MC, she can reciprocate or blatantly shut him down and Erikah will always reciprocate it when he’s coupled with MC because whaddaya know her head can turn at the littlest thing

If he made a move on MC, she can tell her LI who will chew him out privately, or keep it to herself

They basically get caught in the act by Levi, who doesn’t say anything until the afternoon - a lie detector that reveals a bunch of stuff, ill discuss later

He’s asked if he has any drama and he lies, saying no but eventually spills that Rocco made a move on MC/Erikah, and regardless of whether MC reciprocated or not, he says she did

If MC’s with Rocco, she can attack Erikah until someone steps in, maybe Bobby? Or Arjun? and reasons with her. She can get most of the Villa on her side about Rocco being a prick - except for Levi, no matter what, he’ll always side with Rocco and say it’s part of the show

If MC’s not with Rocco and denied him, her LI will accuse her of lying and she’ll have to essentially win them back by the next day or try and get Rocco to clear her name, which she can if they have a high relationship

And if MC didn’t deny him, her LI will dump her on the spot if they have a low relationship, or still win them back if they have a high relationship - but it will still be remembered

Back to the lie detector

There’s the typical S1 questions, cheating is revealed, you can commit to your LI

BUT

If youre on a Marisol route, your LI asks you about her and MC has to confess, which drives a rift between her and Marisol because yeah

y i k e s

Day 17 is the final recoupling

Marisol basically storms into the kitchen when MCs making breakfast and says they’re coupling up and just leaves again. MC has the option to be like “yeah okay, chill” and go back to her breakfast or “what the fuck? no” and chase after her and pie her off

If you don’t pie her off, she chooses MC herself, because that scene in S2 is just really cute and I want another

There’s a double dumping of two boys - Levi and Rocco, and you have no say in it

Erikah, MC, or her LI will essentially turn the Villa against Rocco, while a few of the Islanders resent Levi for his take, mainly the girls

It’s a couple vote, and even if you vote for someone else, they still get dumped because they have the most votes

Day 18 is filler and fluff, meet the parents and final dates, with a surprise dumping where you can get a say and can help them pack, but its a strictly platonic goodbye

There’s so many possibilities and I don’t feel like listing them out right now, but it’s a single couple between three at-risk ones

Day 19 another surprise dumping, why not stick with prom? I just really dig the art, and but maybe make it closer to Season 2? And more personalized speeches!!!

And have a Lottie/Hannah moment!

Idk who all would be here, I don’t feel like listing it out, but I think I have all the dumpings listed below the cut

You can pick between both people dumped who you want to help pack, and can have a moment with either of them, opening a “runaway” option after the finale or reunion

Day 20 is the finale, with the Islanders gossiping and stressing in the morning as some filler content

The afternoon is the announcement, and your placement depends on your couple - If you were loyal the entire time you were with them and have a max relationship you get 1st, if you were loyal but dont have max hearts, you get 2nd, if you weren’t loyal but still have max hearts, you get 3rd, and if you have neither you get 4th

If you win, your LI gets the money no matter what and it’s not based on relationship, it’s based on where in the relationship you are - if MC agreed to be their girlfriend on Day 18, they split the money, and if MC didn’t, then they don’t see a future and keep it

The last episode is the finale party with options to dump your LI for good, make plans to move in, reconcile and explain why MC didn’t say yes on Day 18, or get with someone else entirely

Oh and I want two of the dumped guys to show up together and have started dating outside of the Villa

Cuz I can’t think of another opportunity for mlm in this chaos

This is really messy so I’m going to list out couplings under the cut to try and make sense of this, I think I got everything but probably not its a disaster

LIs

Day 1 - MC or Bobby or Single

Day 3 - MC or Bobby or Bill

Day 6 - Rohan

Day 9 - Rohan

Day 12 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Bobby Dumped

Talia

Day 1 - Rohan or Single

Day 3 - Rohan or Bill

Day 6 - Camilo

Day 9 - Camilo

Day 12 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Bobby or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Bobby Dumped

Marisol

Day 6 - Bobby

Day 9 - Single or Graham

Day 12 - Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Day 14 - Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Day 17 - MC or Graham or Harry/Bill/Camilo

Harry

Day 1 - MC or Elladine

Day 3 - MC or Elladine

Day 6 - Elladine

Day 9 - Cherry

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Camilo

Day 1 - MC or Erikah

Day 3 - MC or Erikah

Day 6 - Talia

Day 9 - Talia

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Bill

Day 1 - MC or Miki

Day 3 - MC or Miki or Elladine/Erikah

Day 6 - Erikah

Day 9 - Single

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Lucas

Day 6 - MC or Erikah

Day 9 - MC or Blake

Day 12 - Blake

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Erikah or Dumped

Arjun

Day 9 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Carl

Day 9 - MC or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Erikah or Dumped

Tai

Day 14 - MC or Single or Elladine

Day 17 - MC or Erikah

Rocco

Day 9 - MC or Erikah

Day 12 - MC or Erikah

Day 14 - MC or Erikah

Day 17 - Dumped

Levi

Day 14 - MC or Single

Day 17 - Dumped

Other Islanders

Elladine

Day 1 - Harry or Single

Day 3 - Harry or Bill

Day 6 - Harry

Day 9 - Nicky or Harry/Camilo/Bill

Day 12 - Nicky or Harry/Camilo/Bill

Day 14 - Nicky or

Day 17 - Nicky or Tai

Erikah

Day 1 - Camilo* or Single

Day 3 - Camilo* or Bill

Day 6 - Camilo or

Day 9 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 12 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 14 - Rocco or Arjun

Day 17 - Tai or Lucas/Casa

Miki

Day 1 - Bill or Single

Day 3 - Bill or Dumped

Day 6 - Bill or Dumped

Day 9 - Dumped

Day 12 - Dumped

Day 14 - Dumped

Day 17 - Dumped

Shannon

Day 9 - Rohan

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan or Dumped

Blake

Day 9 - Lucas

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan or Dumped

Cherry

Day 9 - Harry

Day 12 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 14 - Rohan or Dumped

Day 17 - Rohan Dumped

Bobby

Day 1 - AJ or MC or Single

Day 3 - AJ or MC or

Day 6 - Marisol

Day 9 - Marisol or Single

Day 12 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol

Day 14 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol or Single

Day 17 - AJ/Talia or Elladine/Marisol

Rohan

Day 1 - Talia or MC

Day 3 - Talia or MC

Day 6 - AJ

Day 9 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 12 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 14 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Day 17 - Shannon/Cherry/Blake

Graham

Day 9 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 12 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - Marisol or Dumped

Seb

Day 9 - MC or Dumped

Day 12 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 14 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Day 17 - MC or Elladine/Marisol or Dumped

Nicky

Day 9 - Elladine

Day 12 - Elladine or Dumped

Day 14 - Elladine or Dumped

Day 17 - Elladine or Dumped

#asks #can it kc #also definitely stole this format from bubblybabynailpolish cuz they're hcs are iconic but shush #thank you anon and sorry for whatever this is #litg

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simbinch · 4 years

Text

celeb natal chart: matthew gray gubler

see this post for breakdowns on what the different planets mean. see this post for breakdowns on what the houses mean.

born on the ninth of march, nineteen eighty in las vegas, nevada

sun in pisces in the 9th house: everybody knows pisces as the emotional sign, and that is definitely true. pisces are known for being compassionate, empathetic, and big into fantasizing and dreamland. the negative traits of someone with this sun sign is that they might get caught in their dreamland and have trouble coming back to reality. they also might get mopey and turn all eeyore if they get overwhelmed with their feelings. sun placement in the 9th house are major learners and their big goal in life is to keep trying and doing new things.

moon in sagittarius in the 6th house: those with a sagittarius moon are naturally independent and free-thinking. they are the main character. they want to add more people to the cast and don’t hesitate to remove people they don’t find to be a good fit for their storyline. they love learning and adventures, always down to do something new or take on a new challenge. they take things day by day rather than think of one big goal they need to reach ASAP.

cancer ascendant/rising in cancer* in the 1st house: these people are known as being soft, sweet, and sentimental. not considered a man’s man by any means. highly emotional, cancer rising is happy in the moment, and not typically driven or determined to get things done. they are very sensitive and don’t share this with the world around them. they retreat back into their shell when they see conflict ahead. they’re incredibly faithful to a person they open themselves up to. they are loyal to the nth degree, even when their partner might be in the wrong. they have great relationships with their mothers as they relate to a nurturing figure. they are born followers and often play the role of the nurturer in the family. they want to find a partner that can provide for them, both literally and figuratively. they have great memories and like to make people feel special. they use their hands when speaking and emoting, to show that they are genuinely listening and care.

the other option (based on just degrees of difference) was gemini rising. geminis are known to be really curious, want to learn new things, understand people on a deep level, and inspire those around them to be the best they can be. gemini rising in men is often associated with height and long fingers (seriously). highly attractive and a creative thinker. gemini in the 1st house means that they need to be mentally stimulated, otherwise they quickly get bored. gemini rising in men is often seen as a “player” because they are so charming and exciting, but often fall in and out of love quickly. they are hard to tie down unless they are absolutely sure there is nothing better out there for them, and that their life with a partner would be exciting enough to sustain them. doesn’t like to make promises unless they are absolutely sure they can keep them.

either of these rising signs could be made to fit mgg based on his interviews and general persona, especially the physical features associated with gemini. i didn’t know if i would consider him to be a born follower or having a lack of drive. what ultimately did it for me was the relationship with their families and the fact that gemini rising men tend towards centering themselves, whereas the cancer rising men center those around them. also gemini rising men are known as big cheaters and i didn’t want to hypothesize that for mgg lmao.

venus in taurus* in the 11th house: venus in taurus is known for valuing comfort and stability above all. very much commitment based people, highly traditional, looking for someone who can take care of them in an old-timey Leave It to Beaver style way. venus in taurus men don’t have to try hard to get women, they typically just flock to them. as a result, they have to be careful about who they choose to bring into their innermost circle, a common trait among those with venus in the 11th house. they are highly affectionate and patient, so they will look for someone they are really sure of before committing themselves to them. they clam up if someone insists they commit before they are ready. they enjoy being at home, in their own space, and having someone make meals for them. very drawn to a woman with curves, long hair, the works. classic feminine looks and style.

the other option was venus in aries, which would look for a more down to earth, tomboyish style woman. direct, confident, and straight up-no chaser kind of ladies. independent women who keep things interesting so they never get bored. venus in aries men are the type to love fast and hard, they will be the first to confess feelings and likely the first to break up. they look for women who will challenge them. they like the chase and get bored easily. when a relationship ends, those with venus in a fire sign are likely to blame everything on the other person.

i considered both options but felt that ultimately venus in taurus made the most sense. he has mentioned he likes strong women, and it makes sense that he would model a feminine ideal on his mother the boss lady. however, from what we have seen with his public relationships, they tend to last a while and he still has positive relationships with them via Instagram (so probably not putting all the blame for a relationship failure on them).

mercury in pisces in the 9th house: mercury in pisces makes for a good listener and pleasant conversationalist. active listening all day long. the friend you go to when you need a shoulder to cry on. they are also big talkers, but aren’t the type to necessarily dominate a conversation. mercury in the 9th house indicates an eternal optimist and a desire to always keep learning (lol). they are easily overwhelmed by serious topics, and tend to stray away from them for this reason.

mars in virgo* in the 3rd house: mars in virgo are organized and plan things out ahead of time to make sure they achieve their goals. mars in the third house indicates someone who is a quick conversationalist and comfortable standing their ground in a disagreement. they plot out goals and achieve them, and don’t like things standing in their way. when they come across a conflict they tend towards being calm. like most virgo placements, they are perfectionists and like to win, but want to do so in a dignified manner.

the other possibility here was mars in leo (which was just a few degrees away). mars in leo are big thinkers, highly creative, and great at debating. they are proud people and like to get things done and share them with others. these people tend towards bragging because they want a reward for the work that they’ve done. they are charismatic so they get away with it, but are known as the type that needs to get an award for everything they do.

i went with mars in virgo, because even though he is highly creative there is nothing to indicate that mgg likes to talk about himself and his accomplishments. on the contrary it looks like he tries to downplay them.

jupiter in virgo in the 3rd house: jupiter in virgo finds helping others to be the most rewarding thing in life. they are kind and loyal, and with jupiter in the third house they are always looking to learn something new. highly optimistic, often take on more than they should, but try to juggle it all anyway.

saturn in virgo in the 4th house: saturn in virgo occurs every 25-30 years or so, with the first recurrence being between 2007 and 2010. everyone is expected to have 3 saturn returns in their lifetime, and these are known as periods of self-realization. the next saturn return for virgo is between 2036 and 2039. those with saturn in the 4th house get things done and like to help others. they might have had insecure childhoods (who didn’t in the 80′s) and are looking to build an idealistic family life for themselves to replace what they never had. despite this, they struggle with commitment and being bogged down, so it’s a constant battle.

uranus in scorpio in the 6th house: uranus in scorpio is for everyone born between 1974 and 1981. these are the babies of generation X, but too old to be millennials. they feel intensely, and often switch from one mood to another. highly adaptable, as they kind of needed to be when you account for the period they became adults (9/11, the recession, etc). placement in the sixth house means that you want to make a difference in the world, but are often scattered in how you get there. it isn’t that you hate work, just that you don’t thrive with structure and get distracted along the way.

neptune in sagittarius in the 6th house: neptune is in sagittarius for those born between 1970 and 1984. these are idealistic, progressive people who want to see the best in others. neptune in the sixth house means that these people tend to put others at ease and might even have a deeper spiritual connection with the world.

pluto in libra in the 4th house: pluto in libra is a generational placement between 1971 and 1984. these people feel intensely and have difficulty in interpersonal relationships as a result. pluto in the fourth house indicates they avoid conflict if possible, and tend towards being more introverted when they struggle. they aren’t flashy with their pain preferring it to be in private.

*note: this is a noon chart, meaning i am doing it without an exact birth time. this means that some of the placements could be slightly off when they are at the edge between signs. in those cases i’ve marked them as such and made an educated guess based on interviews. this is typically the process when someone doesn’t know their own birth time for whatever reason. i’ve also included a breakdown of what the alternative placement would suggest.

#matthew gray gubler #mgg #astrology #natal chart #birth chart #celebs #celebrities #pisces #zodiac sign #original #text

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illfoandillfie · 3 years

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Hi! May I please get a creative block reading with your movie tarot deck? My initials are mmc if that helps. Please and thank you. You’re honestly so incredibly amazing for offering readings.

of course darling!! I hope this helps!

Tarot: 8 of coins, temperance, knight of cups, four of wands, the hierophant, 5 of wands

Okay so there are 2 things we look at in a creative block reading – the internal and the external – because both can influence creative energy in different ways. You may feel that one resonates more than the other or it could be a mix of both. Just take whatever makes most sense to you.

So let’s start with the internal stuff. The 8 of wands in this reading represents internal difficulties that keeping you from creating. It relates to apprenticeship and passion and, notably, high standards. I think it’s possible that you’re expecting perfection from yourself and get frustrated when things don’t turn out the way you were picturing. High standards can be good! But they should be something to work towards that makes you edit and rewrite paragraphs or makes you redraw that one thing over and over until it’s muscle memory. High standards can inspire passion and ambition and skill but they can also get in the way of all those things.

Temperance is what you need to change in your attitude so you can get back to a more creative headspace. It’s a card of patience and moderation. You need to balance out those high standards. Be patient with yourself when things don’t immediately go the way you planned. Take a breath, remind yourself that it’s still a work in progress and that you can change things later, and stop beating yourself up. Manage your expectations of yourself so you can get back to a place where those high standards push you to try more and to improve your skills rather than frustrating you and make you stop altogether.

Next we have the external difficulties that are keeping you from creating. The 4 of wands symbolises community, home and celebration. It could be that something about your home life is getting in the way of your creating – maybe your favourite room to create in needs a tidy, maybe you find that every time you sit down with the intention of making something new someone interrupts you. It could be that you thrive under pressure and things are just too peaceful at the moment and it’s not sparking that creative energy. Or maybe it’s the opposite, maybe you’ve been too busy or someone has disturbed your routine (my first thought was builders coming through to fix something and changing the feeling of your usual creative space). Whatever it is it has something to do with your home life.

The Hierophant tells us what you can physically or practically do to change this. This card relates to tradition and conformity so it may be that you need to reorganise or re-establish your “creative space” – tidy off your desk, organise your tools, make sure it feels comfortable and inspiring. It could also be a case of breaking tradition – if you usually create inside maybe try going and sitting outside in the fresh air instead, or if you usually sit on your bed try moving to a desk or the floor instead. Shake things up a bit! The Hierophant also relates to rituals and ceremonies so it could be that by creating a ritual for yourself you can more easily slip into the creative mindset and warn people that you’ll be busy without telling them – get yourself a drink or a snack, set your laptop up, light a candle, put on a favourite album, whatever helps you transition from regular thinking and your everyday brain to the mindset you need to create.

This leaves us with two cards – the knight of cups and the 5 of wands – which represent the lesson to take away from this creative block as well as any extra advice the deck wants to share. So the knight of cups is about following the heart. He’s a card of imagination, a little bit idealistic and romantic. He’s in touch with his emotions and his intuition and uses them for his own wellbeing. He’s telling you that the lesson to take from this is to reconnect with yourself. Use this as a time to reflect on what you enjoy about creating and why, and what you need from your environment to feel comfortable creating in it. Figuring out the background whys and hows can make you more receptive to creative ideas.

Finally the 5 of wands. This is a card of conflict and competition. It’s advising you that conflict isn’t always bad. It could be a friendly rivalry that pushes you to do better or, like the high standards I mentioned earlier, it could be an inner conflict between what your mind imagines and what your hand actually makes. Don’t let the idea of conflict hold you back. New opportunities rise from battles. Learn from whatever conflict arises – do you need to communicate your needs better so others don’t interrupt as much? Do you need to spend time practicing a particular skill so you can improve and eventually produce those amazing things you think of? Accept whatever conflict appears and use it to drive you forward.

So I pulled a few different oracles for you.

First up is a card from the artist oracles - Charles & Ray Eames. This card offers three pieces of advice - one for life, one for work, and one for inspiration - you may find that all of them are relevant or that only one of them is. Take whatever resonates most!

Design your days - don’t plan them / Aspire to profound practicality /Be unbending in your flexibility.

I really like that last one, especially in connection with the cards that talk about the external blocks. This card is encouraging you to be a little more flexible with how you create so try some new things and see what works!

Your literary witch is Charlotte Perkins Gilman. She represents freedom, oppression and the systems at work. I think the dichotomy between freedom and oppression connects strongly with the internal/mental blocks. It definitely speaks of needing to free yourself from something - negative/overly critical thought or a rigid idea of what you want to make, etc. It could also relate to the external side too with that “systems at work” bit. Perhaps there is something in your current system that is holding you back.

I also pulled 3 cards from my new sacred creators oracle deck. Creator Alchemy / Feed Your Artist / Over-Thinking Can Spoil The Magic

Creator Alchemy - This card says that you are a powerful alchemist and you’re ready to transform the ingredients of your life and make gold. It suggests that there is a need for focused determination in order to get out of the creative block you find yourself in. I see it connecting with the external side of the reading because it talks of the minutiae that anchors you down like day to day home life and regular responsibilities. It does also suggest that you could be dealing with too many different ideas or projects at the same time but i think that’s secondary to the other parts.

Feed Your Artist - This one 100% ties into those internal block cards. It speaks of self-judgement being a problem, especially in regards to harsh expectations. And it suggests some down time could be a way to break out of that headspace and, like the knight of cups, also that there’s a need to reconnect to your creative joy.

Over-Thinking - This is the first card in this deck which I think goes to show how common of a problem this is lmao It says that analysis-paralysis or the fear of making the wrong decision is part of whats holding you back. It’s causing doubts in your own abilities which means your worrying about the outcome before you’ve even really begun. It could manifest as obsessive planning or perfectionism. You need to switch to a more positive mindset and trust that you are capable of making something good, something people will enjoy.

And finally, I also got you a Frida Kahlo card which will hopefully be of some inspiration. It says:

Breathe deeper, extend your breath and listen to your heart. Create a life from here.

#card readings

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kayliemusing · 3 years

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1. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? - There’s kind of a few, because I feel like they all tie into one. Self acceptance is a big one, self-discipline, productivity, and trusting in God (which has proven to be the hardest thing. It hurts to trust in something you don’t see the outcome of, but it hurts too much not to trust in God.)

2. If you ever feel like you are different from your extended family, in which ways is this? - My dad/s side of the family is really toxic. There’s a lot of hypocrisy, drama, mental illness, drug addictions, and religiousness on that side (and when I say religious, I mean shame-y religion which I don’t agree with at all.) But my dad was really different from them. He was very kind, open to council, very steady and stable despite coming from such a dysfunctional background, and he loved God so truly that a lot of that pure ‘religion’ that exists within his family was broken off of him, and then I have my mom too, who is very fun, kind, caring, etc, so I grew up around more normalcy than my cousins did. My parents just parented me well and they talked about God to me and my sister a lot in such a good way that I never grew up around pure, shame-y, rule-bound religion which I think is the explanation why I (and my sister) are very different from our extended family. My dad died when I was fifteen so I don’t see that side very often, especially because they’re just entirely chaotic and dysfunctional so when I am around them it’s way more noticeable how different we are. (Sorry for big explanation. I’m in a super reflective mood lol.)

3. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? - I’ve always kind of wanted to have this leader-esque feeling to my career, but no, I don’t see myself being a CEO. I really just want to be an author so I guess I would have some level of being a leader to my own business, but not quite on a CEO type level. Right now, I’m trying to focus on fiction but I’m easily overwhelmed by it so I have been considering other mediums of writing. I just don’t know what that is or what fits right.

4. Is there something that you are sort of weird about talking about? Like, a thing that other people find casual, but you feel uncomfortable when the subject comes up? - Sex, is the first thing that comes to mind, but not sex in general. More like the conversations that are too much, you know? Lol. Some people go really into detail or can be graphic about their sex lives and I’m just like, please don’t. I don’t mind generically talking about it, but there’s a line. 5. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? - I don’t think so.

6. Do you ever make negative comments about other body types? How does it make you feel when you see or hear negative comments about your body type, or a physical trait that you have (even when it’s not directed at you)? - Sometimes I have the tendency to judge other body types (i.e. I really don’t like the thigh gap look), but it’s never malicious and I’m always trying to be aware that others can’t help what they look like and if they’re happy in their body, that’s what matters. I struggle with disordered eating and kind of sit on that line between having an eating disorder and not having one so I’m very sensitive about my body and its type. I have a chubby tummy and I’m so insecure that it’s not flat that when I hear anyone say anything negative about not having a flat stomach it’ll ruin my day or I’ll just feel really ashamed.

7. If you are in a situation where you feel like you are being attacked or not respected, how easy or difficult is it for you to stay and keep your head rather than leave in a huff? - I’ll usually leave the conversation. Maybe slam a door lol. I’ll usually stand my ground until I finally feel like I’m not heard or no one cares and then I’m out.

9. When you think about how attractive you feel and your favorite features, are you comparing yourself to a societal ideal? - Yes. I happen to be well-acquainted with the comparison game.

10. If you have a favorite song right now: What is it? How did you first hear it? Why do you like it so much? - My favourite song is probably Coney Island by Taylor Swift right now. It’s from Taylor’s new album Evermore, but I have a couple on that album that tie for my favourite song right now (Honorable mentions: Willow, Cowboy Like Me, Tis The Damn Season). I absolutely love how poetic this song is and I think one of my all time favourite lyrics she has ever written is in that song: “If I can’t relate to you anymore then who am I related to?” This song for me just feels like I’m reading a poem and I just sink right into the story she’s telling.

11. Have you ever had someone that has been your friend for a while come to you and tell you they had romantic feelings for you? How did you respond, and did the friendship survive? - I did have a friend of mine tell me they had feelings for me. We had become friends in the eighth grade and then he confessed his feelings for me in the ninth grade, I told him I didn’t feel the same way but we stayed friends and it didn’t ruin anything, and then he confessed again in the eleventh grade and I said no to him again. After that final rejection, we never really made it back to being friends for a few reasons a) We stopped being in the same classes, b) I think he was really hurt and c) his friend (who is most dramatic than a girl by the way, and ironically dating one of my friends at the time) stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and gave his two cents and that was kind of when it fell apart. I didn’t really know his friend so it was weird that he had this narrative of me that he said “was leading X on” when I was just trying to be his friend but it’s whatever now. That was when I was like sixteen lol.

12. Hypothetically speaking, if Hillary Clinton were running for President as a democrat against Chris Christie as a republican in 2016, who do you predict would win the election? - Well, since it’s 2021 now, I would predict that Trump would win and divide America.

13. When you are getting to know someone new online (particularly someone male), how cautious are you of the possibility that they are serial killer/kidnapper? - I honestly never think of this, mostly because we live in such an online world now and I’m an adult. I don’t really know how much of this still happens, but you just don’t hear about it anymore. Not to mention, if it is a male, it’s most likely a pedophile (which is still gross) rather than a killer or kidnapper.

14. If you are talking to someone that you want to get to know, what are your go-to conversation topics? What subject makes you disappointed when another person isn’t interested in or knowledgable about it? - Tbh I feel like I’m really bad at conversations and I don’t know how to lead them because I’m quiet and scared of looking stupid. I know I really like deep conversations more than basic questions. However, it’s very important that I know their opinion on Taylor Swift because if there’s a chance they don’t like Taylor Swift, I already know that the person is probably not worth my time. For real though, if I’m having a conversation with someone, I usually get disappointed if I find out they’re a partier or drink a lot, because I’m really not into any of that stuff so it’s immediately like playing the Sims and having the minus sign appear above my head.

15. Say you have a lot of free time and want to join a club or class. You are browsing postings on local bulletin boards and online. What sort of group would you be interested in joining (e.g., book club, game group, crafts, golf lessons, etc.)? - A romance-only book club, DIY club.

16. Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? - Nah I’ve never been kissed

17. Have you recently learned anything about your personality? If not, have you ever consciously tried to change your personality? - Sort of recently, it was something I discovered last year which is that I’m a neurotic perfectionist and what I mean by that is I’m a perfectionist in a very self destructive way. I’ve always known I was ‘particular’ or others would say ‘has high-standards/expectations’ but I realized that it’s literally just perfectionism.

18. Are you or any of your friends in a sorority or fraternity? Would you be interested in belonging to one? - No and I don’t really understand what they are or why they’re a thing.

19. Can you recall a recent time that you were surprised, but in a bad way? - Yes. When my job eluded that they thought I was stealing from the registers. This happened around September 2020? Basically they didn’t flat out say that’s what they thought, but they made comments that the tills were either short or over at the ends of the night whenever I would be working and dead ass said “it looks suspicious”. I think it was surprising because I’ve worked there was two years and really felt like they should have known my character. (I literally am afraid of getting in trouble for the smallest things and they seriously thought I was capable of stealing from them lmao)

20. Do you feel uncomfortable when you receive praise for doing certain things? If so, does this make you less likely to do those things? - No totally the opposite. I really struggle with validation and I never feel good enough, which is something I’m working on, but it feels almost like I thrive on praise. Maybe it’s because my love language is words of affirmation?? I just always like/need to know when I’m doing a good job so when I don’t get praise or validation my self esteem plummets.

21. Do you make spontaneous purchases often or rarely? When you are upset does it make you temporarily happier to buy yourself something new? - Spontaneous purchases, often because I have no self control lol, but lately I’ve been working hard to try to save more. And yes when I’m upset, it does make me feel better to buy things.

22. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? - 5 am. I think I can manage 6 am, but anything before that is a no from me. I used to work at 5 am when I worked at Chapters, but it was a nice shift because I finished work at 10 am and then went home and napped for two hours and then had literally the entire day.

23. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? - I’ve never had a romantic relationship oops. But at least I read romance novels every day (and I write romance too!) I’ll try to answer this based on what I think would happen. I think it would start as a physical attraction and I think a lot of relationships start that way but they become something when you have a real connection. I think there are relationships that can start the other way though too, but I’d say for me it’ll probably be physical attraction first.

24. Do you ever catch any of those conspiracy shows on Animal Planet, like Bigfoot hunting or proof of Mermaids? Do those shows make your more or less likely to believe in the existence of such creatures? - No, but I DO watch ghost conspiracy theories/”REAL GHOST CAUGHT ON CAMERA” videos on Youtube for fun. But no I don’t believe in any of that stuff.

25. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? - I’ve never technically written a fan letter to a celebrity but I wrote a post on tumblr to Taylor Swift a couple years ago that she’ll never see lol. And I’ve never submitted anything to a magazine, but I’d like to one day.

#survey

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bonacwu · 4 years

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an introduction ...

hey everyone! i am laura and i am bringing you: kim bona. my brain works in gmt+1 time & my d!scord is crabmaster🦀#9886. i am always up to plot or randomly chat or if you wanna tell me about your day, i am also there as well.

i’ll give you a little rundown of bona’s being, as well as some plot ideas! i am sorry, my pages aren’t completely set up yet (because i am lazy, i guess ???) so i’ll try to squish as much info into this intro as possible while still keeping it rather short.

basic stats:

name: kim bona

canon: pride

club: head of detention

major: film

zodiac: leo

sexual orientation: gay af

label: the dirtbag (someone who likes to cause trouble)

positives: charming and loyal. negatives: narcissistic and an airhead.

languages: korean and very basic japanese (she can manage, but can she really?)

physical: 166cm, dark brown eyes, black hair, lettering tattoo on her left thigh.

mental: insomnia and some sort of undiagnosed adhd.

background:

bona is the middle child of the kim family, which obviously clashes with her need for attention and gratification. her father's company slowly got going when she was younger, increasing their influx of money.

with the family being wealthier in general, slowly new fancy things would appear throughout the house and now not only were her siblings taking her parent’s attention away from her, but also all of these new luxuries they could afford.

not only that but her father had also started to (most likely) cheat on her mother, missing for days on end and always coming home smelling like cheap perfume.

bona had started out with wanting to be the best at everything, really trying, but since her parents never listened or cared for her achievements, she just decided for herself that yes, she must be the best, her parents just aren’t seeing it. that never took away the need for attention, though.

with her mother spiralling into alcoholism because of her father missing in action, just causing the woman to listen or care less and less for bona and her siblings.

seeing her with a glass of wine in hand constantly, cigarette hanging from her lips, bona knew there was only one way to fix this and it had to be soon. she didn’t want her father out anymore and she didn’t want her mother to be sad anymore.

one evening, when her mother had passed out with her head on the kitchen table waiting for her father to come home, bona had sat in the living room, waiting patiently. as soon as her father came through the door at around 4am, bona was there to surprise him.

with a firm hand around his neck, she squeezed with all her might and she had him struggling for a few moments. obviously, this didn’t work out. with her father being much stronger and her mother having woken up from the commotions, bona quickly found herself on the ground.

she was ready to be beaten, but nothing happened – instead, it just caused another fight between her parents; once more, they didn’t listen to what she had to say. or even cared about what she had done.

it didn’t take long: a few more days of more silence and evil looks and the acceptance letter for cultum university was laid on her desk. they were sending her away.

cultum & personality:

bona knew that going to cultum was not a good thing. she knew she was being dumped and the first few days she wasn’t sure if she was secretly gonna get murdered by someone hired by her parents and being buried somewhere in the japanese countryside.

but no. she was just wanted to be forgotten.

she still believes she is the best at everything and never puts any real effort into things, because in her eyes, whatever she does is perfection. deep down she might know that it is not, but those feelings are repressed quickly.

she thrives off of praise, it is what keeps her going. her actions will revolve around getting ‘nice words’ towards her out of someone and she usually needs a lot of attention.

bona studies film because, surprise surprise, she thinks she will be an amazing director in the future, produce multi million dollar movies and be famous all around the globe or something like that.

she can be incredibly charming and likes to get her ways with sweet words.

while knowing deep down she’s not really good at anything, from the start she had to steer in a different direction: being the best in the student council or being the smartest in the book club was not gonna be her thing. seeing how she couldn’t stay out of trouble, she quickly saw a strategy there: she would just become the best at being bad – even if some of it was a facade.

in general it is not hard to get along with her, she can just be slightly annoying and she rambles a lot; if she doesn’t get what she wants, she will get rather sulky and if someone ignores her she can get slightly aggressive.

plot ideas:

a calm mind: someone more of a relaxed being helps bona out just trying to live at a more relaxed pace – while bona tries to get her into trouble. they are rather opposite to each other, but somehow get along anyway.

a messy relationship: bona is good at chaos because in her head it somehow makes sense as long as it gives her some sort of gratification. your muse also loves causing trouble and they get off of it. sneaking out at night, breaking things, playing pranks on others, skinny dipping, maybe making out after they pulled something off – that kind of thing.

bribery: if your muse is in one of the other clubs, they could have some ways with which they try to get information out of each other. it could be with money, blackmail or even straight-up fights.

attention: your muse is just as stubborn as bona and just doesn’t want to grant her the attention she deserves. bona tries extra hard to just get anything positive about her out of her, but it never seems to work; which only makes her try harder and harder.

injury: either one of them falls sick or have an injury from getting into trouble and one takes care of the other. this is kinda vague but i think it’s a cute idea lmao

rivalry: they hate each other but at the same time they kinda like each other enough to try to impress each other with random things they achieved, even though the other shouldn’t even be worth impressing, right?

the movie: bona just NEEDS your muse to star in her ‘movie’. she will shower her with all sorts of compliments just to get her good looks into the frame – then getting distracted by said looks and only zooming in to her face to make this an endless project that keeps getting messed up by herself.

#.⟳ 🍈 INTRO.#soemi:intro

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