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checked-windows · 3 years

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I WOULD PICK YOU TILL THE END.

Aaron hotchner x gn reader

Notes: reader doesn't have any pronouns so should fit anyone

Warnings : none. A kiss (maybe)

"I love you" Aaron whispered as you moved around the apartment packing your things. "I love you too" you responded equally as quiet, only pausing your movements for a brief second "But I can't do this anymore Aaron. I'm not going to make you decide who you want because I know you and I know you'll try to make everyone happy but yourself. I'm taking the choice away from you. Goodbye Aaron"

You left his apartment steeling every muscle in your body to not turn back around and ask him who he wanted, beg him to want you. But you kept walking away, from the apartment, from that life, from Aaron.

8 years later

The BAU had decided that this unsub was in their lists of worst people known to man. They were breaking into houses with families and slowly picking them off one by one starting with the children finishing with the fathers. They had been called in by the Situational Counter Unit or the SCU, who had caught the case and were the ones diving in headfirst into crime scenes and bringing in suspects. However, they had admitted to needing help narrowing down a list or well creating a list, just trying to find someone to get it to stop as their "ask questions later" policy was starting to get them heat. It didn't even seem like the SCU Unit Chief had called them in, it was their section teeth who had claimed they would be happy to let the BAU lead the investigation. Possibly.

The BAU arrived at the building to a group rushing back and forth with files and notes seemingly trying to collate all of their evidence into one place while trying not to bowl each other over. A tall bald man spotted them and waved them over.

"You must be the Behavioural Analyst Unit" he greeted "Welcome to 'The Den', I'm Agent Leo Monroe. Let's get you settled in the conference room away from all this noise" He directed them up to a windowless room hidden away from prying eyes soon enough three more people followed, two more men and a woman.

"Agents Martin James, Lucy Hay and Kyle Brennan. The chief is running late claims to be stuck in traffic but will be here soon. I hope" Leo said with a small smile that showed he was used to this sort of thing and files were handed out to each of them. Occasionally Leo's phone would chime and he'd snicker at whatever the messages were. You finally arrived almost 20 minutes later, sweating and ready to commit a felon.

"Sorry I'm late. Got stuck behind a truck that clearly had no idea where it was going, debated slashing his tires so that he at least had a reason to be driving a quarter of the speed limit" you fumed as you breezed into the room, throwing a black jacket over the back of a chair and dropping into it. You glanced around quickly not taking in any infeomation before ducking your head into a file only for your eyes to shooting back up to the unfamiliar faces. And the one familiar one. That you hoped you'd never see again.

"Ah you must be the BAU, they told me you were coming" you did try and keep the dispair out of your voice but you kept glancing back to Aaron who looked like he had seen a ghost. Aaron himself hadn't been expecting you to be here. He hadn't expected you to have cut your hair to the length it was now or for your eyes to have hardened as much as they had over the year. He hadn't expected the wave of emotions to hit him so hard that he almost fell over.

There was more very brief introductions before you shook said man's hand.

"(y/n) (l/n), Unit Chief" you greeted and watched his eyes take you, every change and reading your body language before you spun and started spewing details of this case that you knew, trying to ignore how you felt seeing him once more and what bubbled up in your heart.

"(y/n), it's good to see you" Aaron said when the room had cleared of agents from both teams.

"Uh, it's good to see you too" you tried to sound confident and sure of yourself but ended up mentally slapping yourself for sounding unsure "Would've been better on nicer circumstances but beggers can't be choosers"

"Your right" he responded and you saw his Adams apple bob when he swallowed "So Unit Chief huh? What happened to 'fuck the police'?"

"Oh don't start" you said with a laugh and his lips quirked slightly "People change"

"That they do" he agreed nodding.

"So how've you been? How's Haley?" you asked moving the folder on the table almost missing how he winced.

"Ups and downs. Haley died a couple years back." his said quietly and your head shot up. You and Haley had never gotten along but you'd never had wished her any ill.

"Jesus Aaron." you breathed and gripped his shoulder comfortingly "I'm sorry for your loss"

He smiled sadly at you and in that moment you realised exactly how much Aaron had loved her. Yes he may had loved you but he had loved her more, it made sense.

You were dragged away almost physically by Lucy who was trying to show you a connection she and Doctor Reid had made with the unsubs drop off points but your mind wasn't in it. You had nodded and sent them with Agent Morgan and Prentiss to see if they could find anything else out from the scenes themselves. You had retreated to your office just to take a small breather, even as you sat at your desk you were eyeing the small cabinet at the opposite side of the room. It was like it was dragging you towards it as you inched forward and unlocked it, pulling the small box out. Photos of you and Aaron spilled out when you had opened it, keeping it here was supposed to keep the need to look at them away but clearly your brain had other plans especially when memories bubbled to the surface.

Dates, adventures, visiting him in hospital because he got hurt again. First times. Last times.

Everything flooded through your mind leaving you sitting on the carpeted floor, tears filling your eyes. You had missed him, when you had said you had loved him you meant it but even after so many years seeing him brought fresh waves of affection and love into your heart. You decided to put on your Unit Chief face and squash every single emotion down so that it didn't bother you. There was time to cry after this case.

As it turned out their was time to cry during the case too. As you realised almost 20 hours later running on no sleep, terrible coffee and spite. The words on paper, screens and boards were floating and spiralling in on each other making it impossible to read and if Aaron tried to tell you what to do one more time you were going to shoot him and you didn't care about the repercussions.

"You should-" he started after following you into your office.

"Do not tell me what to do Aaron Hotchner" you growled before he could even finish his sentence, a finger pointed at his face. He rolled his eyes which seemed to irritate you more than it should have.

"I'm not telling you what to do, I'm offering a suggestion" he grumbled and you weren't sure if it was the lack of sleep, the pent up emotions or something else entirely but you exploded.

"Get the hell out of my office!" you basically screamed at him and he took a step back before turning towards the door.

"Make a change from you walking out" he hissed lowly and you wanted to hit him.

"I walked out to help you" you shouted slamming your hands onto your wooden desk causing him to turn back to you.

"I didn't need the help, you didn't even give me a choice. You took that choice away from me" he shouted back and briefly your brain supplied that this was very unprofessional and that everyone in the office could definitely hear what was taking place in your office.

"I knew you were going to pick her. I'm not an idiot Aaron. A fool yes. But not an idiot" you yelled hands landing on your desk again. Only softer this time. "I took that choice from you because I knew you and I knew Haley was your everything. I. I was a placeholder until your issues worked themselves out"

"You had no idea what was going on! It was nothing like that" he hissed as if he had realised that everyone was listening it. You pushed away from the desk, taking in the hard lines on his face and the set of his shoulders. You huffed as you swing the door open.

"I knew exactly what it was. I knew exactly how you felt about her. You married her didn't you? I knew everything Aaron. That's why I took the choice away from you, because I wanted you to be happy even if it wasn't with me. You loved Haley, you should have been with her" you said quietly, all the fight had left your body as you stepped out of the office squaring your own shoulders and walking past both teams to the door.

"Chief" Leo called out and you turned your head to face him, catching Aaron's stunned face still in your office.

"I'm going home. I suggest everyone gets some rest. Home. Hotel. Break room. I don't care" you said slowly and continued your mission to get to your car without any more damage. You got the the parking garage before realising that you didn't have your bag, which meant that you didn't have your keys. You sighed and threw your head back trying to stem the tears building in your eyes.

"Here" a voice came from behind you and you sighed again. You kept watching the ceiling, refusing to look at him "(y/n)"

Your resolve crumbled in front of his eyes, as your shoulders slumped and you slowly turned to face him. He had your bag in one hand and a small almost comforting smile on his face. You took the bag from him with a small "Thanks" he nodded turning back towards one of the SUV's that the BAU were travelling in and you had to force yourself into your own car to not call for him.

The case continued quickly after the breakdown, you avoided Aaron like the plague and in turn he didn't try to speak to you about anything other than the case on the odd occasion you ended up in the same room together together. No blood had been shed in the final meeting with the unsub. Luckily the man had given up fairly quickly and had allowed himself to be handcuffed without much of a fight.

You sat in your office, head resting on your hands after greeting farewell to the BAU and sending your own agents home for a well earned couple days off. You were ignoring the piles of paperwork that had began to accumulate with every ounce of willpower you possessed.

"(y/n), are you OK?" Aaron's voiced echoed into the small room and you groaned into your palms. He chuckled slightly which cause you to look up at him with a frown.

"Why are you here Aaron?" you asked, none of the fight from the past few days was left and you resigned to just leaning on the desk.

"I could ask you the same question" he asked and you sighed "I was hoping we could have a talk before I left, clear what ever this has been up"

"Aaron. I'm sorry, just forget about it" you said taking a deep breath "Emotions were high and I hadn't slept. I didnt mean it"

"No. You did, but that's ok" he responded sitting on the chair opposite "You were right. I would have tried to make everyone happy even if it meant I wasn't. You knew that. You knew how I felt about Haley but you never knew how I felt about you. You left me with one option and most would say that I couldn't have loved you both at the same time but I did. I loved you both equally."

"Aaron you seriously don't have to" you try but he was holding up a hand to silence you.

"I would have picked you (y/n)" he said quickly at the end "I would have always picked you"

Your eyes snapped up to meet his and you huffed a small disbelieving laugh at him. You weren't sure what had happened really one minute you had been sitting opposite on another, the next you were pressed against his front pressing your lips against his. Aaron's hand cupped the back of your head and he pulled you closer with his other hand on your waist.

"I would still pick you" he mumbled against your lips before you were pressing them together once more.

#aaron hotchner #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #thomas gibson #criminal minds fanfiction

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teddybeirin · 2 years

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Answer all of the system vine asks.

Step the f**k up Kyle!: Do you have specific alters that deal with any conflicts or decision making?

Anselm, definitely. But not because we leave it up to him by choice, more like he takes charge naturally and doesn't leave much room for debate once he's decided on something? Very rude sometimes, but he's almost always right about things so he has a track record to back up his "I *should* be in charge" thing..

and they were roommates! (omg they were roommates): If you have an inner world, do any of your alters share a room or a certain space?

Not that I know of. I haven't actually explored a lot of this inner world, the current castle, it's really difficult for me to access it. But I am kinda sorta sure, I am wanting to say that Rain and the other littles share a section of it? And some of them have bunk beds. But I could be wrong, because I have little to do with it (it being, everything in there)

I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand: which of your alters do you think are the most protective of the system?

Oh god. Well... I don't think it'd be easy to try and figure out which among them is the Most protective out of them all, but Anselm, Estelle, Maeve, Nik, and Carmel are all very protective. Anya too, in her own way? But in a waaaay nicer way.

I’m in me mum’s car, brum brum: If you drive, do any of your alters have different driving styles/techniques? Are any alters not allowed to drive?

We don't have our license! ...the perks of being trapped here. But you didn't hear this from me, we've driven before as a teen and Cassia wishes she could drive like a maniac but was pretty good at what little we got to learn while we had that taste of freedom.

hey my name is trey I have a basketball game tomorrow: Do any of your alters like or play any sports?

The kids love dodgeball, Anselm loves shit like races and obstacle courses if that counts.

when there’s too much drama at school, all you gotta do is walk awayeyeyey: have any of your alters ever gotten you in trouble at school? how so?

YEAH. It'd be so much to get into the "why" of it, but there was a period of time where we were intentionally trying to get kicked out of a school so that our family would react to the shame of it how they always do (run away/move away) and we'd move away from a very scary situation. That came with... feet up on the desks, causing trouble in class, responding to questions with jokes, responding to the birth name for roll call with "Wish I wasn't!", getting into fights, not doing the homework or classwork anymore, being tardy, not following dresscode, slacking in general, and generally being as much of a little shit as possible. Other than that specific time? Nope. Family said I was like a little angel before that year, lol.

Chris, is that a weed?? I’m calling the police!: do any of your alters smoke/do drugs? how do the others feel about it?

Not anymore. Cigarettes have always been off limits (would rather die than be like mom, yadda yadda) but alcohol was the soother of choice for a little while as a teen, weed was fun with friends until it wasn't fun anymore.

hey I’m lesbian - I thought you were american?: do your alters have different sexualities?

Yep. Majority that I know of are bi, but Anya is a lesbian, there's at least one straight guy and I am pretty sure it's Mattie. Dunno about everyone I don't know, obviously, but I think that counts for being different from one another - it's a pain.

I wanna be a cowboy babyyyy: what are your alters dream jobs?

Fifi? Ballerina. Anya? Kindergarten teacher. Estelle "I don't care, do what you all want", as for Yvette they really want to do more divination for pay, Maeve would ideally wish to be a full time artist but knows it "isn't realistic", Mattie wants to become a carpenter, and much of the kids have agreed to design and create toys for a living incorporating various things from the rest of em that care about the work life. As for Carmel, just survival work I feel I should mention but don't want to mention?

this b*tch empty, yeet!: are there ever times where no one wants to front? if so, how do you deal with it?

Noooo idea. There's certainly times when none of us want to be here, but that's... usually because of household shit and other stuff that makes it all very "oh god I have to get out of here I can't take this" so it goes to whoever gets put in front to handle it first based on whatever fuckery is going on with however the brain chooses to switch out. I don't get it if you can't tell.

omg I love chipotle, chipotle is my life!: what are each of your favourite fast food places/restaurants?

Street tacos. Do street tacos count? There's a diner I really love that I can't name cuz it'd be too recognizable location-wise, but it's got lots of bear stuff. Denny's, too.

I didn’t get no sleep cuz of y’all, y’all ain’t gon get no sleep cuz of meee: what are each of your alters sleeping behaviours like? do you have different sleeping patterns? do any of you remember your dreams?

Yvette is really into dream journaling, so I'm fairly certain they remember the dreams. I try to push them away as soon as I wake up, myself. We have such a shit sleeping pattern right now... Theo sleeps like a baby and falls asleep easy stays asleep easy, but Estelle and the rest of us can't sleep for shit - laying down feels really bad, so it ends up being a "how much work can I do to avoid sleeping til dawn comes?" and falls into a kind of faux-nocturnal "pattern" lmao.

Thank you for asking!! <3

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stones-x-bones · 3 years

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Morning Cap || Kyle and Bex

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @darkh0wl and @inbextween SUMMARY: Bex takes Kyle on a hike through Starfall Valley to find the meteor that crashed. They’re not the only ones looking for something. CONTENT: Gore

Bex had made it to the trailhead early, because of course she had. That’s the kind of person she was when she didn’t have anyone to hold her back. She wanted to be on time, she wanted to be early. She wanted to be early for being early. She paced around the entrance for a while, remembering that Kyle was notoriously late for...everything. He’d been late last time they hung out, he’d been late, even, for sneaking into her house, but she really hoped he wasn’t going to be late today/ Today was important. She was excited to be here today and they had things to do. She was rolling back and forth on her heels when she spotted his car pulling around the bend. Perking up, she bounced over to the trailhead again, where it met the parking lot and waved him down, unable to keep herself from jogging over to meet him at his car, already eager. She wanted to get going, because she wanted to ignore how heavy she’d felt when she’d woken up this morning. The edges of a migraine were pushing into her head, but it was probably just from her lack of sleep the past few nights. It had to be. She’d been doing a lot more activities than sleeping, and while she didn’t mind, she supposed something like that would make her feel more tired than usual. “Hurry up,” she said as she watched him climb out of his car, “we’re losing daylight!” A tease, mostly because it was the middle of the afternoon, but she could see clouds moving in, and in this weird weather surge, that meant more snow. Her boots crunched awkwardly on the half melted bits that were there from yesterday’s sudden storm. “You’re like hiking, right?”

This had been a mistake. Kyle should not have agreed to go with Bex to the giant rock in the middle of the woods. The last time he’d talked to someone about a potentially toxic environment… He shuddered at the thought of what hell Adam and Nell had gone through. He had to remind himself that this was different. This was right in their backyard of White Crest and only potentially toxic. He didn’t love their odds. When Kyle rolled up to the parking lot, Bex was already there. He glanced at the clock on his dash. He was not significantly late; you may as well call him on time. But Bex was early as ever and running towards his Jeep. Kyle huffed a small sigh as he watched her approach in the side mirror. He swung his door open and smiled at Bex. “Eager, are we?” He pulled his bag from the passenger seat to his lap and started checking that he had everything. When Bex tried to rush him, he quirked an eyebrow and slowed down just a little. “Okay, okay, chill! God, you’re impatient.” He eyed the ground, nervous to just hop out. The way he’d been feeling--well, to be fair, he wasn’t feeling so bad. But his sense of balance and his center of gravity were way off. Bex ripped him from his own hesitation as she continued to speak. “Hiking? Yeah, I hike.” Kyle swung his legs out onto the ground and promptly tumbled forward, face planting in the partially melted snow. “Ow.”

Bex backed up as Kyle stepped out and immediately fell. Hmm, this was going to be more difficult than she thought. Maybe she should just go alone. But Kyle was already here and now that he was, there was no way he was going to let her go alone. She grabbed for him on the ground and tugged him back up. “Wow, and people call me clumsy,” she grinned, tugging on his arm. “You can lean on me if you need.” She wasn’t notoriously good at staying on her feet, either, but she seemed to be doing better than Kyle. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this excited, and she was still eager to outrun the weariness that was threatening to take her. She pulled him up towards the trailhead and double checked the map. “Looks like it’s not far from here, luckily. I’ve never been, have you? I kinda wish we were coming at night, I’ve heard the sky is beautiful. Great place for a date, if your date isn’t a fae,” she rambled, taking a trail map just in case. And, well, because she liked maps. She’d tack it up in her room next to the other local maps she had. “Speaking of dates, I was talking to someone about you and he seemed interested. Not someone I’d originally known was gay, but, you know, things change. Or, not change? Come out? Aren’t we all supposed to be able to tell? I thought we were all supposed to have some sort of gaydar.” She frowned. “Mine must be broken.”

Kyle’s brain wanted to walk forward, but his feet didn’t react like they should. Now, close to the rock, it was worse; more pronounced. Was that a coincidence? He couldn’t decide, but he almost wanted to get back in his car and leave. He couldn’t, though. Not with a clear conscience. If Bex fell and broke a hip or got eaten by space ghosts, he would be stuck with the knowledge that he could’ve prevented her imminent doom. So he staggered behind her, being led by the wrist. “How do you have this much energy?” he questioned. He wasn’t tired—in actuality he had just rolled out of bed before this—but Bex seemed perkier than usual in a way that almost unsettled Kyle. Was this who she was when she wasn’t in danger?

“Yeah the, uh, northern lights? I’m pretty sure we shouldn’t be able to see them at this time of year. Is this like...global warming or something?” He gestured vaguely at the melting snow. “So you and Mina are dating then?” Kyle didn’t want to pry, didn’t want to push Bex to have this conversation if she didn’t want to. But he wanted to know. Before he could fish an answer from her, Bex had continued speaking. She said something that made him stop in his tracks.

“Wait, I’m sorry—you—I—,” Kyle pulled back from Bex’s gently tugging grip. He wavered on his feet, but remained upright for the time being. “Hold up. You just said we have a gaydar? We as in, you’re using labels now?”

“A good breakfast and a better night’s sleep,” Bex answered, smiling wide. “I’ve been sleeping really well lately.” Partially because of all the sex she’d been having. It really wore her out and it felt nicer than any exercise she’d ever tried to routinely try. She didn’t mention that part to Kyle, though. She looked back at him, shrugging. “Everything still going okay with you? Aside from the vertigo? You think it’s got something to do with all this weird stuff going on? I mean, if the stars are messed up, it means something could be wrong with the magnetic field, and I’ve heard stuff like that affects animals. And since you’re, like, part animal, maybe it’s affecting you, too.” She took a moment to breathe, finding herself a little short of breath. But it came back quickly and she carried on.

“Oh, I mean, yeah, that would definitely be beautiful to see up here, but I just meant normally. It’s the one place in town where you can see all the stars and even the Milky Way band is visible on most nights!” Bex wanted to keep going, she didn’t mind this walking and talking thing, but Kyle was asking about Mina and then suddenly he was stopping and she wasn’t sure if it was concern or confusion tinging his voice. She turned to look back at him, hands stuffed in pockets. She let out a puff of air through her nose. “I don’t know if label is the right word, but yes. I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I’m...attracted to women. Well, one woman. And we’re not just dating, we’re in an active relationship.” Each word felt measured, and took more energy than she liked. She wanted to keep moving. “Is that okay?”

The magnetic fields were affecting animals? Kyle blinked. Was that why he felt like he was moving through a thick jello when he tried to get his limbs to work with him? “Wait, the stars are affecting animals? How do you know that? I mean, it makes sense and—I don’t know. I didn’t think of that.” He took a few steps forward, veering towards Bex. He wasn’t sure if he was reaching for Bex or just trying to find some balance, but his arm flew out as he stumbled. “Sorry, sorry,” he said, wincing. “It’s like…I don’t know how to describe it. I feel off.”

Kyle nodded slowly as Bex talked. “Sorry, I don’t want to pry or anything.” He started walking again, purposely reaching for Bex’s hand this time. He needed something to steady him until the whooshing in his head went away. “I just—last time we talked about this, you didn’t want to admit that you liked Mina like that. I’m glad to see you be more honest with yourself. And me.” He cleared his throat. “So, uh, you were talking to someone about me?” Was Bex talking about Eddie? Kyle had his suspicions, but he wouldn’t ask. That didn’t feel appropriate in any sense. Anyway, Eddie was very adamant that they were dudes being pals. Still, Kyle couldn’t help the little butterflies that he felt. Could she be talking about someone else, though? He tried to wrack his brain for anyone who might be vaguely interested in him, but he came up short. Self-deprecation aside, he hadn’t gotten out much lately.

“I mean, I don’t know know, but fluctuations in the magnetic field have long since been recorded to affect animals. Mostly birds, but any animal that uses it to navigate could be affected,” Bex answered, holding her hand out to him as he seemed to sway again. “If...if you’re not feeling well, you can go back and wait in the car? I’ll be in and out, real fast. I told Mina I’d bring her back a piece of the meteor.” She knew he’d insist on going, but the offer to stay put had to be there, at least. She’d feel bad forcing him to do this. She felt like she was, anyway, but she did enjoy the company.

“You’re not prying,” Bex told him as she steadied him and kept walking, going at a bit of a slower pace just in case he decided to faceplant again. She wasn’t exactly strong enough to hold him up, but she could brace his fall a little. “I was going to start telling people soon, anyway. I just kind of liked the idea of knowing I have a girlfriend to myself for a little bit. It’s still--” she paused, trying to find the right word. She wasn’t sure there was one. It felt surreal, finally admitting it. It felt right and wrong at the same time. She didn’t know how to describe it. “Strange. Not-- not the being with her part. I just spent so long convincing myself otherwise that being able to just say it still makes me feel weird.” Even if all she wanted was for it to make her feel normal, like the wish had made her. She chuckled. “Yes, I was. A very handsome boy, too. I told him you’re a very good guy who deserves only the best.” She smiled over at him. “Which is true, you know.”

“I don’t feel sick,” Kyle insisted with a small shake of his head. “I feel off. I feel weird. It’s—it’s nothing. You’re not going alone, Bex.” He pouted at her, frustrated with himself. Being a werewolf had more and more downsides every day. “Is Mina immune to space radiation, or does she just like rocks?”

As they continued on, Kyle did his best to keep walking steadily. For the most part, he could manage it. His hand in Bex’s tethered him to an extent. It kept him from stumbling too far away, or toppling over completely. “Sorry to take that from you,” Kyle said quietly, not looking at Bex. He stared at the ground, under the guise that he was being careful of his footing, but he didn’t want to look at her as the guilt of messing up something else slowly sank in. The comment about him being good and deserving good felt like a slap. Kyle hummed in response, and didn’t meet Bex’s eyes. “I appreciate that,” he said, his tone flatter than anticipated. It wasn’t easy to pretend that he deserved good things after all he had done. Especially not here with Bex of all people. “How handsome?” he asked, trying to tiptoe around the harder parts of the conversation.

Bex put her free hand up. “Okay! Okay. I didn’t say sick, just, you know--” she nodded at their hands and how he continued to stumble as they walked. Luckily, they were almost there. “You look like you stayed on the merry-go-round too long.” She smiled, more gentle. “No, but I doubt there’s any radiation on the rock, it’s been sitting for a while now. And it’s not all rocks, just this one. She said she really wanted to see it, despite the valley being full of iron, so I assume it’s some strange magic thing drawing her to it. I figure I can prevent her from being stupid and coming up here herself by bringing her some back. And I get to say I hiked through a valley to get my girlfriend a space rock. So it’s a win-win for me.”

Bex noticed the way his eyes fell to the ground, but she’d pretend, for his sake, to not notice. Hiking through Starfall Valley was likely the last place Kyle wanted to be talking about his personal issues. “You didn’t take it from me, don’t worry,” she reassured him, squeezing his hand. “I wanted to tell you, anyway.” She hummed along with him, rolling her head from side to side as she thought. “Very handsome,” she answered, “I think you’d like him.” Grinning to herself. They crested the hill of the valley and Bex traced the line of it to find the indent where the impact crater started. “Oh, there, look!” she tapped on his shoulder and pointed. “We made it!”

“What does iron have to do with anything? Is Mina anti-anemic? Pro-nemic?” Kyle didn’t think that getting a piece of the weird space rock was a good idea, but he bit his tongue. He didn’t want to take the wind from Bex’s sails right when she thought she was doing something romantic. So he trudged along behind her, stifling a mildly annoyed groan. He had no real need to be upset with Bex, but he could barely walk and was on a hike so she didn’t get hurt, and she was just so goddamn chipper about it. He resented her positivity today.

Kyle squinted at Bex. “Very handsome, huh? You think I got a shot with this mystery man, then?” This hike was taking forever, and Kyle nearly stumbled over his feet (but he would swear it was a branch if Bex said a word). He should’ve stayed home. At the top of the hill, he looked out, spotting the caved in section of ground just before Bex could point it out. “Woah,” he mumbled, letting her have this one. “That’s bigger than I thought.”

For Bex, the rest of the conversation was lost. She tugged Kyle faster towards the impact crater, and thusly, the meteorite. There was nothing inherently strange about it to her, meteors fell from the sky every day-- but it was still such an incredible phenomena, and she’d never even imagined she’d get to see one. She let go of Kyle’s hand to drop her bag and pull out the little pickaxe and baggies she’d brought to collect samples. She turned to look back at him before she started climbing over the pile of dirt that had hardened from the heat of the impact. “Just wait there, I don’t need you falling into a ditch,” she said, sliding her way down on her bottom till she reached the rock. “Oh, I mean, yeah-- of course you’ve got a shot with him. I told him to talk to you, so keep an eye out,” she grinned, before taking the axe and swinging it against the rock. A piece chipped off and she scrambled after it, examining the bit closer as she turned it over in her hands. It was really just normal space rock, but considering space wasn’t normal down here, it was an incredible find. Not everything in her life had to be normal. She put the large chunk in a separate bag and picked the hand axe back up. Just a few more pieces would do. She didn’t even notice the critter moving through the field towards them, as she brought the axe down once again.

Where the fuck did she get an axe? Who had decided to give Bex an axe? Kyle didn’t even have a chance to argue before she was wielding the damn thing and chopping into the meteor. He sighed again, long and tired, and let himself plop down on his butt. “I’ll stay put. Scout’s honor,” he assured her, placing a hand over his heart. Kyle watched as Bex gathered her little piece of rock and examined it. He wondered if she knew as much about rocks as she did about history.

Suddenly, Kyle became acutely aware of a sound. Something was rustling nearby. His head snapped up and he looked around for something--anything--but he didn’t immediately see anything. By the time he spotted it, the little creature was very close. “Uh, Bex, I think you should come here. Right now.”

Bex looked up from examining more pieces that were sealed away in baggies when Kyle called out. “What is it?” she asked, stuffing them in her bag and sliding it on as she crawled back up the hill, dirt between her fingers. That’s when she saw it, not too far off behind Kyle. A pale, grey, humanoid looking creature, with strange bone structure and what looked like glowing, red eyes. It was carrying a spear like weapon with two prongs at the end, and a sickly, red hat sat atop its head. Perplexed, she tilted her head as it continued its rather quick pace towards them. “Maybe it’s friendly,” she suggested. It wasn’t running at them or baring its teeth or making scary noises. She had no idea what it might be, she didn’t know enough about the types of creatures that lived around here, but she was willing to find out. Picking up her own axe, she crawled from the crater and slid over to Kyle. “What do you think it is? Do you know?” Suddenly, it stopped just short of them and began to sniff the air, as if trying to work out what they smelled like. Bex watched, fascinated, taking another step forward. She wanted to see what it was doing. “He’s kinda cute, don’t you thi--” but her words were cut short as the creature suddenly leapt at her, snarling viciously as ragged teeth chomped down at her arms. “Woah! Not cute! NOT CUTE!”

“Bex, I don’t think--,” was all Kyle managed to get out before the little thing was lunging at Bex. Great. Amazing. What had they done to attract this kind of cosmic attention? Well, what had Bex done? Kyle knew that he certainly wasn’t redeemed yet, but Bex didn’t do anything to be getting one thing after another like this. Anxiety stirred up in Kyle’s chest and he pushed himself to his feet to run to Bex’s aide. Only, as soon as he was upright, he was toppling forward and landing on his front. He didn’t know if this creature was venomous or deadly in any way, so he didn’t stay down for long. Stumbling back to all fours, Kyle pushed himself forward. He had to make it down the hill relatively safely to assist in whatever way he could. His footing was already tentative at best, and the forward momentum sent Kyle rolling down the hill towards Bex and the little creature on her arm. “Woah, woah, woah!” he exclaimed as he rolled. The collision course was lined up perfectly and if this were bowling, Kyle would have gotten the strike. He couldn’t slow himself, and the rolling was only adding to the dizzying vertigo he had already been experiencing. Let’s go on a hike, she said. It’ll be fun, she said. Right. This was all according to plan.

Bex flailed her arms as teeth sunk into her forearm. “Get off!” she grunted, trying to push it away. It was much smaller than her, yet it dug its heels into the ground and pushed back and suddenly she was being crushed under its grip. “Holy-- what the--” Why was this thing so strong? She looked into its eyes, glowing red down at her, as it used its free hand to turn the weapon it was holding down at her. “Oh, no! No, no, no, no!” She did not want to get stabbed by a skewer today. Mina would be so mad at her. She was just about to lift her feet to start kicking when she heard a loud thumping. Suddenly another body was ramming into her, and the creature was sent flying, as well as its weapon as Kyle collided with them. Bex landed face down in the dirt and grass, little puffs of pollen and iron dust spraying into the air around her. She coughed, rolling onto her back, glad that her ribs weren’t still bruised, before sitting up quickly and grabbing for Kyle. “Watch out!” she called, as the creature grabbed its spear and flung it as hard as it could at him. Whatever this thing was, it was smart. And if it had intelligence, that meant her magic could touch it.

Bex lifted a hand, ready to pulse out whatever energy she could, but with a startle, she remembered her magic was gone. Something tried to stir inside of her, though, and suddenly it felt as if a hole was opening up in her chest and she gasped, clutching it, as she fell back to the dirt.

The spear made contact with Kyle’s shoulder and he hissed in pain. It wasn’t very large, comparative to the creature who had wielded it. He gripped it and pulled it out with a groan that he attempted to stifle. How was he going to explain this to Dani when he got home? She already thought he had an inner ear infection, now she would really be upset with him. “Thanks for the heads up,” he grumbled, sitting up stiffly.

Kyle hadn’t a second longer to think about the shoulder wound before the small creature was barrelling at him. “Uh, Bex?” he called, putting pressure on his fresh wound as he scrambled back. “Bex!?” She was the goddamn wizard, why wasn’t she doing something to help? He barely had the ability to stand, and it wasn’t like he could shift in front of her. Not after everything. “A little help here?”

The creature leapt at Kyle and Bex couldn’t do anything except push him out of the way. Blood smeared on her hand from the wound in his shoulder and she scrambled backwards as the thing landed between them and started scrambling for whoever was closest to grab. “I can’t,” she said, her voice suddenly strained. She couldn’t fight off the exhaustion anymore, it took hold of her like an icy hand and pulled at her heart. She felt it skip a few beats, pounding heavy in her chest. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. The thing snarled again and barreled for Kyle. Bex turned and grabbed the axe she’d dropped, stumbling to her feet. She swung at it and heard it crack against the thing’s skull, sending it tumbling. She held her hand out to Kyle. “C-c’mon! We gotta go!”

“You can’t?” Kyle barked, his tone coming off more aggressive than he meant it to. Blood seeped through his shirt. Had the spear really pierced him that deep, or was it his rough removal that had done the damage. Jesus, whatever this thing was it was no good. To think that at the beginning of the year, Kyle was still pretty sure that the biggest danger in White Crest was himself, or maybe other werewolves. And now, he’d discovered at least a dozen other nightmares to keep him up at night. This little thing was currently at the tippy top of the list. Kyle looked from Bex’s hand, to the small humanoid who was currently trying to pull the goddamn axe from its skull. His eyes darted back to Bex’s outstretched hand and he reached for it as the little devil yanked the axe out with a sickening crunch. He gripped Bex’s hand, trying to clamber to his feet faster than their tiny assailant.

“No, I-- I can’t,” Bex snapped, frustrated enough without the anger from Kyle’s own voice. She knew he didn’t entirely mean it, but it still stung. It pierced the parts of her that had quietly been questioning itself since she’d first woken up normal. Her magic was a limb and she’d cut it off without hesitation. She tugged on his hand and pushed him forward in front of her, wincing at the sound of bone cracking. Blood rushed down the creature’s face as it turned to them and ran forward again, teeth bared. Its head was already healing. She hurried them towards the edge of the valley-- would it stop pursuing them, then? Were they just in its territory? Gods, she hoped so.

But luck wasn’t being kind to her today. The axe it had ripped out of its skull-- her axe-- came soaring towards them. It clipped Bex’s leg and she cried out, falling forward, taking Kyle with her. She scrambled backwards again as she flipped around to face it, hoping getting past the line would stop it. But it didn’t. Of course it didn’t. It leapt at them again and Bex put her hands over head, bracing for impact.

Kyle wanted to scream. It was certainly news to him that Bex couldn’t help out. Her magic had seemed fine when she shook a building nearly into ruins with just some negative thinking. Her magic certainly seemed fine the other time when she panicked on campus and made innocent students relive her trauma. It surely was fine when her stupid mind link--no, no, he couldn’t get upset with her. Not now, not like this. Kyle grit his teeth, trying not to say anything stupid as they scrambled back uphill. Bex screamed and they both fell to the ground. Kyle hadn’t even realized why she had screamed yet, he was more concerned that the hellish little beast seemed pretty okay, considering the cleaving it had received. Couldn’t anything in White Crest be more simple? Like a butterfly who was only a butterfly. Or a fucking unicorn. Or something that wasn’t hell bent on a murder most foul.

All of the anger and all of the fear threatened to bubble up and rush out of Kyle. He tried to contain it, tried to tamp it down with that breathing Bex and Morgan did. But seeing the bloodied little asshole launching himself straight at Bex, at Kyle’s friend who he would protect because he owed it to her, because she deserved it, because she needed it--it flipped just the right switch. Kyle threw himself forward to meet the little man in midair. He caught it by the head in his maw and shook it vigorously. The head of the beast came away from the body with a wet snap. Kyle let it drop and stood there on all fours, breathing heavily over the still corpse. He cast a brief glance over his shoulder, and caught Bex’s eye. A low rumbling growl came from deep within his chest and his eyes glinted with the promise of danger.

The snapping was the first thing Bex heard. The severing of a spine as a head was shook clean from its body. The wet thump! of the body was what she heard next. Her eyes wrenched open just in time to look up and meet the sheen of the wolf’s. “Oh, fuck--” The world dropped out from under her and her back hit the ground of a dark alleyway, one she hadn’t visited in a very long time. A light flickered above her, making her throw her hands up to block out the light. It was that same alley, with that same wolf. Except this time, there was nothing and no one to help her. Bex’s fingers dug into dirt as she threw herself onto hands and knees, clawing to get away. She had no magic to save herself this time. She had no magic to save Kyle this time.

Bex picked herself up and bolted, the alley melting away as she ran. Street lights turned back into trees, even as she heard the hum of their electric buzz in her ears. The crunching of shoes on gravel turned back into snapping twigs and rocks smacking against rubber soles. She didn’t bother to check behind her-- if he was there, then she was dead anyway. Watching it happen didn’t matter.

Her bag smacked against her back as she ran, weaving through trees, doing her best not to trip and fall-- she wished she’d grabbed her axe again. But all that mattered now was getting out safely, before the wolf pursued. The treeline broke and Bex slid the rest of the way down the gravel path to the parking lot, where she was greeted with an eerie silence. She chanced a look behind her finally, and found only swaying trees greeting her gaze. More cars were pulling up, then, ready to explore the trail. “B-bear!” she called out, running towards the cars, finally remembering her leg and arm were bleeding, “there’s-- d-don’t go up there! There’s a b-bear!”

Bex’s sudden movements made Kyle snap up the body of the redcap in his jaws. He didn’t want his meal to be confiscated, not when he had just gotten it; not when his shoulder still stung with the pain of the spear and now the added pain of shifting. He watched her flee, his instincts screaming at him to pursue. He wanted to have this meal that was warm in his mouth already, but wouldn’t she make a better one? Wouldn't she be worth the hunt?

Kyle bounded after her, leaving the fae discarded by the axe. He didn’t get very far, however, as the stumbling was so much more pronounced as a wolf in the clearing beside the stupid space rock. It took just about everything he had in him to get up the hill again. By the time he’d managed that, Bex was long gone. He looked longingly at the redcap at the bottom of the hill, but the idea of going back downhill for it wasn’t something he wanted to do. So he trudged off down the path towards the parking lot. By the time Kyle got back to the parking lot, it was just about empty. Bears really can clear a place out. He was tired, and a little banged up from his struggle to follow Bex.

Significantly more human, Kyle staggered to his car, one hand on his bloodied shoulder. So much for a calm, friendly hike. “Fuck this place,” he grumbled to himself, unlocking the Jeep and digging around for a spare set of clothes.

#chatzy #wickedswriting #chatzy: kyle #morning cap #kyle

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spine-buster · 4 years

Text

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 8

November 10th, 2019

Aberdeen Bloom was in her hotel room.

The Leafs had lost to Chicago. Chicago scored four goals in the first period. It was a shitshow. And although the boys rallied back late in the third period, they just couldn’t get that fifth goal to send it into overtime and at least get a point. William scored two goals – en route to a hat trick – but didn’t get it. He did get third star of the game though. Aberdeen knew he was trying to impress his parents and show off in front of his brother.

The team was spending the night in Chicago before leaving late tomorrow for Long Island, meaning that Aberdeen had the day off and could actually go and explore. She’d never been, and she knew eight or ten hours was not nearly enough to really explore a city, but she thought about taking a city bus tour that hit all the major sites. Truthfully, she was learning more towards just spending the entire day at the Art Institute of Chicago. It was on her bucket list.

After the stress of travelling and the back to back games, she was tired. She’d taken a long, hot shower before putting on her pajamas and slipping into the hotel bathrobe. With her hair wrapped in a towel, she ripped open a sheet mask and put it on, massaging it onto her face. She texted Kasha, who sent her some pictures and videos of Minerva sleeping on her bed, which calmed her down but also made her wish she was curled up with her cat. Eventually, Aberdeen lay upright in bed, trying to get some reading of Women Talking by Miriam Toews done before she fell asleep.

But then there was a light knock at her door.

She was so tired and so annoyed and so engrossed in her book that she didn’t even bother to look through the peephole to see who it was. She forgot she was in her pajamas and bathrobe. She forgot she had an entire sheet mask on her face that made her look like Jason. She just opened the door, not thinking about anything.

Which made seeing William on the other side of the door all the more frightening.

He had quite the amused look on his face. “Hey.”

She shut the door in his face. She turned around so her back was against the door, internally freaking out, looking around for a means of escape. She seriously contemplated jumping out the window. It was only eight floors – that didn’t mean too many broken bones, right? She could…she could…

“Open the door, Aberdeen,” she could hear him from the other side, his voice low but loud enough that only she could hear.

“No,” she said, having the wherewithal to finally rip the sheet mask off her face and shove it into the pocket of the robe. It was still wet, damn it. A sheet mask wasted.

“Come on, Aberdeen.”

“What are you even doing here?” she asked.

“Would you rather Brendan find me outside your hotel room or would you rather hide me in the shower where he wouldn’t see me?” William asked rhetorically.

Aberdeen’s heart and her mind started racing, thinking that Brendan was on the way down to her room or down the hallway or something. She rushed to open the door and stuck her head out, looking down both ends of the hallway. William, for his part, slipped past her and into her room. “Is he here?!” she asked in a harsh whisper.

“God no. Brendan’s asleep,” William said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s eleven at night, Aberdeen. The man needs his rest.”

She looked back at him practically sauntering into her hotel room and shut the door, locking it behind her for full effect. She crossed her arms to make herself appear angry. William still had an amused smile on his face. “I reiterate my question – what are you even doing here?”

“Why wouldn’t I be here?”

“Weren’t you going to dinner with your parents and Alex?”

“That’s done.”

“So, like, don’t you want to spend time with your parents?”

“They have an early morning flight to catch to Dallas to visit Jackie at SMU,” he said. “They went back to their hotel and went to bed.”

“And shouldn’t you be doing the same thing?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I wanted to see you, minskatt.”

A blush overcame her cheeks. “Will, this is really inappropriate,” she said, trying to mask it.

“Why?”

“You’re a hockey player in my hotel room,” she felt like she had to spell everything out for him. “If Brendan finds out he’d freak. If Kyle or Peter found out, they’d freak. Hell, if your teammates found out—”

“Even if they did, they wouldn’t say anything,” William interrupted her.

She stopped dead in her tracks. That was not plausible. Any single one of them would go to Brendan in a second if she and Will were caught together like this. In her hotel room. At night. Alone. “I have a hard time believing that.”

“They wouldn’t. They know that I like you, so they wouldn’t.”

Aberdeen couldn’t respond with anything because she could think of anything to say. He flummoxed her constantly. He kept rendering her speechless and she didn’t know what to do about it – didn’t know if she could do anything about it. She watched as he leaned against the TV stand, crossing his own arms over his chest. “I’m asking for a third time now – what are you doing here?”

“Was that a sheet mask you had on your face before?”

“Yes.”

“For what?”

She gave him major side eye. “Moisturizing. The traveling is drying out my skin.”

Will let out a slight chuckle. He looked past her towards her bed, and she followed his eyes and looked behind her. “What book are you reading?”

Was he being serious right now? Had he seriously made his way into her room to ask her about sheet masks and books? Not like she’d do anything else with him. But still. “Women Talking by Miriam Toews.”

“Do women talk in it?”

She audibly scoffed. “It’s about sexual assault in a Mennonite community.”

Will’s face dropped. “Oh fuck.”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but snort as she saw the look on his face. She tried to cover her mouth and her smile but the attempt was futile. He looked so embarrassed and it just brought her so much…well, delight. “God, Will,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning back to grab the book. “You are something else.”

“You like to read, then?” he tried to recover the conversation.

“I have a major in English, Will. And I want to become a writer. You can’t become a writer if you don’t read. Well I mean, you can, but you won’t be very good. And beyond that, I’ve made it my goal to read the shortlist of the Governor General Awards and the Giller Prize,” she said. She saw a slightly confused look on Will’s face. “They’re Canada’s highest literary awards. They’re like – well, not really, but you’re Swedish, so – it’s like being a Nobel Laureate, but obviously the Nobel is much more prestigious. I read them too.”

The smile that appeared on his face was so innocent and pure that she wanted to wipe it off his face. She couldn’t handle it. “I remember that you want to be a writer. You told me the first time we met,” he said. Aberdeen shivered. “So what are you doing here with the Leafs?”

“In my quest for any type of job, they were the only ones that called,” she informed him. “No newspapers or magazines came calling, so it was this or bank telling.”

He pushed himself off the TV console, making his way over to sit beside her on the edge of the bed. He looked over at her. “I think you’d make a great writer.”

“Thanks, but you haven’t read any of my writing.”

“Can I?”

“No.”

It was Will’s turn to snort. “Fair enough. Maybe I’ll get to read it one day.”

“I don’t know about that,” she said, smiling down at the book as she held it between her hands, being very careful not to lose the page. “How was dinner with your parents?” she pivoted, not wanting to talk about herself or her writing anymore. “I bet you miss them a lot.”

William shrugged his shoulders. “I’m kind of used to it. When I was a kid my dad would be gone a lot.”

Aberdeen thought the worst. “Why?”

William looked at her weirdly. “My dad was an NHL player, Aberdeen.” He saw the shock on her face and couldn’t help but chuckle. “Do you not, like, google these things?”

“Why would I google your dad? I thought he was just…I don’t know, your dad!” she tried to defend herself.

“Well, he is just my dad—”

“But he was an NHL player,” she said. “What team did he play for?”

“A bunch. He was a journeyman. Alex and I were actually born in Calgary, but then it was Tampa, Chicago, Washington, Boston, New York…then back to Washington,” William listed off the cities he’d lived in. “It was a lot of moving around. A lot of back and forth. A lot of missing dad.”

Aberdeen could never imagine moving around that much as a kid. She was very fortunate to have lived in the same house her entire life, however old and small it was. She knew William’s life growing up was probably very nice – much nicer than hers, in the sense that he had a lot more money with his dad being an NHL player and all – but all of that couldn’t make up for missing your dad because you couldn’t actually see your dad. The first time Aberdeen realized she actually missed her parents was the grade nine orientation retreat her school ran, when she went to a camp in Muskoka for three days and two nights and got eaten alive by mosquitos. She couldn’t imagine that feeling happening over and over again. And not just over and over again…but throughout her entire childhood. “But Sweden is always home?” she asked, trying to brighten up the mood.

“Always,” he replied automatically, resolute in his tone. “In the summers, when we’d be all together in Sweden, and it was just…you know, family time…that was the best. Our house in Stockholm, or our house in the countryside…it was always amazing.”

Aberdeen smiled at him. He was so clearly fond of Sweden and fond of his family. If their Halloween talk didn’t secure it enough, this did. She wondered how much he missed his siblings on a regular basis; how geographically, they were so far away from each other, but in every other way they were so close. Much like she and Siena. She missed Siena every day.

“Hey Aberdeen?” Will’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“You haven’t kicked me out yet.”

She gave him a look. He started chuckling at her scrunched up face, still glowing with moisturizer. “Don’t push it.”

***

November 13th 2019

Aberdeen felt both mentally and physically exhausted as the charter plane landed in Toronto just before midnight. The Leafs suffered another loss to the New York Islanders, John’s old team (who booed him every time he touched the puck, the savages), even though they battled back again from a goal deficit. Will scored. John scored too. But it wasn’t enough. Now, the team was officially on a three game losing streak (okay, technically only two if you didn’t count the shootout loss against Philly). Aberdeen was just…tired. She had the day off tomorrow to prepare for the Major Donor Dinner that night, worked Friday, and then – surprisingly – a full weekend off, since Brendan wasn’t traveling to Pittsburgh.

To says she was looking forward to it was an understatement.

“Who’s driving Aberdeen home?” John asked out loud as he always did when they came back from road trips late at night. She didn’t know if he’d taken it upon himself as the team captain to spearhead the movement, but she didn’t oppose it anymore. If they wanted to be chivalrous, she wasn’t going to stop them.

She usually rode into the city with Morgan, with Bee picking them up. Twice she’d gotten driven back into the city with Saylor and Kasperi. She was fully ready to hear Morgan’s voice pipe up like it always did – especially because Bee was always on time and already waiting for them by the time they landed. She even saw him about to say it, but he was cut off. “I’ve got it,” Will said immediately, not even looking at her. Morgan looked back at him, shrugging his shoulders. That was that.

Aberdeen noticed he drove a Volvo – of course he would, the Swede. She put her carry-on in the trunk and slipped into the passenger seat, waving goodbye at Justin Holl who had parked beside Will and was already backing out of his space. Will slipped into the driver’s seat, starting the car. He looked over at her, the smallest smile on his face. “Hey.”

“Hello.”

“You tired?” he asked.

“I’m exhausted.”

“Good,” he said, backing out of the parking spot, making his way out and onto the street.

“Good?”

“I’ve been waiting for this moment for a while,” he said, a smile on his face.

She side-eyed him. What exactly did he think they were going to get up to in his car of all places? She was wide awake now. “Why?”

“You always have your headphones in on the bus or plane when Brendan doesn’t need you.”

“So?”

“So it’s obvious you like music, and I’ve curated a playlist for this exact moment,” he smiled, fiddling around with his phone. He really shouldn’t have been doing that, since he was driving and it was illegal to do so. Aberdeen looked as he swiped through Spotify quickly, obviously knowing exactly where he needed to go.

“What moment is that?” she asked.

“Driving through Toronto at night,” he said, stopping at the red light. She chuckled slightly to herself, leaning her head back on the headrest and looking out her window. Of all the guys on the team, only Will would do something like this. Bee never made any playlists for driving Morgan home in the middle of the night. Hell, Saylor didn’t either. She was more preoccupied with telling Kasperi the exact details of what she’d been up to while he was gone, or telling him where they were going to go for drinks and oysters after they dropped Aberdeen off. “You ready?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“If you put on Drake to drive through Toronto at night, Will, I swear to God…” she warned.

There was a dramatic pause. The opening notes of Drake’s ‘Passionfruit’ played. Aberdeen overexaggerated her scoff and disgusted face, and William’s infamous laugh was so loud it could be heard over the music. “God, William…” she chastised playfully.

“Oh come on! It’s a good song!” he tried to defend himself.

“It’s one of his better songs, sure. I’ll give you that,” she said. “But what a lousy start.”

Will’s jaw dropped. “Oh, really? You can think of something better?”

“I can think of a million different songs that are better,” she quipped. She looked down at his phone sitting in the little cubby and went to grab it. She scrolled through the list, getting more and more disgusted by the songs and artists he’d added to the playlist. “Your taste in music is awful,” she scoffed again.

“HEY!”

“It’s true!”

“Okay Miss Superior Music Taste—”

“Okay, first of all, if you’re going to choose a Toronto artist to start a ‘driving though Toronto at night’ playlist, it should be The Weeknd,” she began, typing his name into the screen and swiping to add ‘Starboy’ and ‘I Feel It Coming’ to the playlist. “Like, where is Tory Lanez? Where’s Daniel Caesar? And why is it all rappers? This is so stereotypical. You need better music.”

“It doesn’t just have to be people from Toronto,” he said, making a turn. “And it’s all rappers because I li—”

“Seriously, this is awful.”

“You’re really mean when you’re exhausted,” he quipped.

“If it doesn’t have to be just full of people from Toronto then I’m hijacking this playlist and making it good,” she ignored his comment, already swiping her fingers all over his screen and typing in name after name.

Will would glance over occasionally, trying to keep his eyes on the road but finding it hard. She looked so cute concentrating so hard as Passionfruit played in the background. He bit his lip, trying to remain composed. “God, you’re gutting that thing,” he said.

“That’s how bad it is.”

He shook his head playfully. “You better hurry up. Passionfruit’s almost over.” Aberdeen finished off, keeping his phone in her lap as she let Passionfruit end. “It better be good,” he said.

She shot him a playful glare. “It’s awesome, thank you very much.”

As ‘Passionfruit’ ended, ‘Bride’ by San Fermin came on. Aberdeen was immediately pulled into the sounds and beats, closing her eyes and let it wash over her. William, on the other hand, furrowed his brows. “What is this?”

“San Fermin.”

“Who?”

She shot him another glare – how many she’d shot him in this car ride alone, she couldn’t even say. “Can you just listen?”

William gave it about a minute before he began shaking his head again. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

“You’re weak.”

“Put on something good this time,” he said as she picked up the phone again. He switched lanes to get onto the onramp for the Gardiner Expressway. He saw Aberdeen scrolling through the playlist, finally picking a song. ‘Green Light’ by Lorde. “Lorde? Really?”

“Don’t you dare say a bad word about Lorde,” she warned. “She’s perfect. Her music is perfect.”

“You think so?”

“She wrote Pure Heroine at sixteen. Sixteen!” she exclaimed. “I would give my left arm to have written like that at sixteen. I was writing awful, pretentious poetry about stupid boys in my high school at sixteen. And she wrote that entire album!”

William laughed, her clear enthusiasm and love of Lorde shining through in her words. It was adorable. She was adorable. She was many things, but right now, she was adorable. “Is she your favourite?” he asked.

“I have a lot of favourites,” Aberdeen admitted. “But yeah. She’s up there. Do you not listen to her?”

William shrugged his shoulders. “I know Royals. That was the big one, right? That’s basically it.”

“Well, you need to listen more.”

“Not the first time someone’s told me that,” he joked, keeping his eyes focused on the road.

Aberdeen bit her lip. She knew they were in the context of talking about music and her favourite artists, but that was a loaded sentence. When she and Brendan made their way to the locker room after the Islanders game, she could hear Mike Babcock’s voice from down the hallway. She’d watched and listened to some of his post-game interviews, and she wasn’t completely ignorant to the fact that he constantly, constantly, backhand complimented William and his skills. It didn’t matter if William got an assist, got one goal, even two goals – it was like Mike couldn’t say a good word about Will without undermining him somehow. She remembered the season opener, when William told her “I’m used to it” when she asked about it. She shifted uncomfortably in the passenger’s seat. “Will…”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, minskatt.”

She paused to try to collect herself. “What, like…I mean, I don’t mean to be nosey or whatever, or intrude…but what – I mean…like what kind of like—”

“Spit it out, Aberdeen.”

“What’s the issue between you and Mike Babcock?” she finally asked.

Will looked over at her quickly, shocked that she’d asked the question. “Hell if I knew,” he mumbled, shrugging his shoulders. That was a lie – he did know part of it. At least, he thought he knew part of it. “I don’t…I…okay. Last year,” he began, “the 2018-2019 season. It was my contract negotiation year. I went unsigned throughout the summer because I was holding out for a specific number and a long-term deal instead of what we call a ‘bridge’, so like a two or three year deal. I…I didn’t want to be anywhere else but Toronto, no matter what anyone else said. I still don’t want to be anywhere else but Toronto,” he explained. “And so, because of that holdout, I didn’t attend training camp. I didn’t play basically for the beginning half of the season. There…there was a lot of drama. A lot of rumours in the Toronto media – really nasty rumours, some of them. A bunch of talk about trading me. It produced this really…I don’t know, this really toxic, like, cloud surrounding me. A lot of people were angry about it. But I got my deal – I signed on December 1st, the last day legally possible to be able to play.”

Aberdeen thought back to what he told her about his dad. How much Will missed him as a kid growing up because Michael would be travelling for hockey. How much Michael was gone all the time. How every few years, the family would have to pack up and move to a completely different city, in a completely different part of the country, following Michael on his journeyman hockey career. Of course William wanted a long term deal. It was no wonder. He didn’t want to experience what he had to experience growing up – being shuffled around the league – now as an adult.

“The media did their job though,” he continued, breaking her train of thought. “They were relentless. Malicious. They turned a lot of people against me – a lot of fans who were influenced into thinking I was a spoiled Swedish brat. Overhyped, overpaid, waste of money. A plug. Getting in the way of hiring a good Canadian boy, forgetting the fact that I was born in Calgary,” he almost smiled to himself, shaking his head. “So…I don’t know. I guess Mike didn’t get over my holdout. Maybe he feels bitter about it. Maybe he thinks I’m selfish, that I shouldn’t have held out. Maybe he thinks I’m an overhyped, overpaid plug taking a spot from a good Canadian enforcer or something. But it’s all hypothetical. It’s all maybes. I can’t tell you why, exactly, he always says those things.”

Aberdeen didn’t know any of this. She didn’t know William held out on his contract. She didn’t know there was a portion of the city that hated just him specifically. She didn’t know about bridge deals, long term deals, and about him wanting to be in Toronto – nowhere else. She didn’t know any of it. And that’s when she finally realized: that was her exact problem. This was why she kept making careless comments that made Brendan so upset. She didn’t know anything about the team; she didn’t know anything about its members, how they got to Toronto, how they liked being here. She didn’t know the history and barely took time to learn.

“You need to walk into this building everyday knowing and understanding the history of this hockey club beyond just the surface level and what Brendan tells you,” Kyle told her after she went crying to him like a baby. “But you already know what to do, Aberdeen. You just need to find it within yourself and do it.”

She needed to understand the team as an institution, but also as a group of guys creating and carrying on the legacy of that institution.

Now she knew.

“That’s awful,” she said, considering everything he told her. She couldn’t believe a coach would hold something like that against a player. “You…you don’t deserve that, Will. Any of it.”

“I know,” he said, nodding his head slightly. “You don’t have to tell me that, minskatt. Mike’s just…listen, he’s a good coach – a great coach. I mean, he’s won two gold medals. And he has a very specific system—”

“William,” she interrupted him. He looked over at her. “Don’t make excuses.”

He smiled at her – a true, genuine smile. And as he did, the opening notes of ‘Style’ by Taylor Swift began to play, and a shiver ran up Aberdeen’s spine. She had to look away – had to – because if she looked any longer at him, she would spontaneously self-combust. That, or lean over the centre console and do something she would immediately regret. As she looked out the front, she saw them approaching downtown – all the lights and the skyscrapers illuminating the city, and the CN Tower lit up brightly in red. “This is my favourite drive,” she mumbled.

“What?”

“This is my favourite drive,” she repeated, speaking up. “This…the Gardiner going into the city. Swerving through all the buildings. All the lights. And this song is perfect for it. Absolutely fucking perfect.”

William continued to smile at her, looking between her and the road as ‘Style’ continued to play. The riff, the beat…everything was perfect. She was busy focused on the view, and on the beat of the song, singing it lightly to herself, her voice getting above the volume of the song only minimally. She even took out her own phone and began recording the drive and the lights, no doubt to post on Instagram later. She looked perfect. She was perfect, at least to him. He needed to utilize every ounce of self-control he had in him as he continued to watch her. “This is really hard,” he said out loud, breaking somewhat.

“What? Listening to Taylor Swift?”

He laughed. “No. All I really want to do is reach across the dash and hold your hand but I know I can’t.”

She blushed, looking down at her hands instead of looking at him. She always had a few rings on – a few dainty ones, stacked, and one her mom gave her that once belonged to her grandmother – and she began playing with them nervously. He signalled to get off at the appropriate exit. “Will…”

“I know, I know,” he said. He was biting his lip down, hard, probably to stop him from saying or doing anything else. “I’m sorry.”

The rest of their ride was silent, since it wasn’t much longer until he reached her condo. When they finally arrived, she made sure he knew he didn’t have to get out of the car when he popped the trunk for her to get her carry-on. She rolled it back to the passenger window. “Thanks for the ride Will,” she smiled.

“Will I see you at the dinner tomorrow?” Will asked out the window, leaning over the centre console.

She paused for a second. He knew about that? She thought it was an office personnel only event. “You’re going?”

“Of course I am,” he smiled.

She rolled her eyes. “Of course you are.”

“Brendan likes to shuffle some of us out as a surprise for the donors. It’ll be me, John, Jason, and Mitch,” he explained quickly. “So I’ll see you there?”

“Yes. You’ll see me there.”

#william nylander #william nylander imagine #william nylander fic #william nylander fan fic #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #toronto maple leafs fan fic #nhl #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl fan fic #hockey #hockey imagine #hockey fic #hockey fan fic #the president wears prada series

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youwerenevermeanttofeelalone · 4 years

Text

But? Damian Wayne • Tim Drake

Pairing: Older!Damian Wayne x Plus Size Reader, Tim Drake x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Summary: you go through a lot because of Tim and Damian but in different ways.

Request: do you listen to asmr boyfriend roleplay (on yt)? Some of them would be great as fics.

Warnings: angst, mentions of cheating, sexual innuendos, language, fluff, a very light mention of violence, light mentions of insecurity, is rain a warning?

A/N: the fact that every fic I’ve written for these characters has the same concept is very funny but I definitely see the appeal and the potential.

Based off these YouTube videos: one two three

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

Replaying it didn’t make it easier to digest. After months of plans to move in together and talks about adopting a dog, Tim had broken up with you. He fell for someone else, a person he spoke about often.

She was a coworker of his, a gorgeous woman if anyone asked you. You could never blame him for falling for someone like her, she looked like a model and was a badass agent — it just hurt.

Now you were packing the belongings he kept at your place to send them to him with Alfred. It seemed like he couldn’t only break your heart and walk away, Tim also had to humiliate you. Out of respect, Alfred didn’t ask anything at all, he merely reminded you he was always available for you and wished you a good night.

The TV show playing in front of you wasn’t being processed by your brain. Curled up on the bed, covered with the duvet and a fuzzy blanket, you were desperately trying to conceive some sleep, for your brain to at least calm down so your head would stop throbbing and your eyes twitching.

Startled by tapping on the window, you were forced to swallow the mucus clogging your nose. Coughing, you rolled on the bed to asses who had disturbed you. Upon realizing it was just Robin, you begrudgingly left the bed to open the window.

He entered the room without saying anything, waiting for you to lock the window and close the curtains to take his domino mask off. He always did that, no matter how many times you told him no one would see him.

Damian stared down at the dozens of used Kleenex in the trashcan you kept near the bed. “Why are you upset?”

“I thought you knew...” your voice was strained, throat too tired due to the sobbing.

“I clearly don’t.”

“Tim dumped me for someone else.” Saying it in front of his brother was even worse than you had imagined. “Why are you here if it isn’t because I forgot to pack his brown jacket?”

Damian plopped down on your desk chair, staring directly at you, “patrol was boring and father is with Kyle again.”

Nodding, you went back to your spot on the bed, making yourself comfortable with a pillow on your lap.

“Are you tired?”

You were, but you didn’t want to be alone. “Not at all,” you lied so he wouldn’t dare leave. “Do you want to watch that movie you recommended to me last month?”

“Sure.”

Browsing through different streaming services until you found the film, you saw Damian take parts of his suit off in order to be more comfortable. Surprising you, he sat down on the bed, just beside you, once you had found the title.

You had to admit that paying attention was easier with him around, probably because you didn’t want to annoy him. The film did its job, you finally got distracted — you also fell asleep.

It became a routine, every night he would tap on your window and make you company. Some nights you would stay up until sunrise when you had to go to work, others he would be so tired he’d crash out on your couch, and a few nights you fully rested because his presence made you feel calmer.

Damian and you had never been too close, he and Tim had a complicated relationship and you didn’t want to have problems with your now ex-boyfriend. Now you hoped you had, he wasn’t what you had thought — Damian was nicer than every member of the family made him out to be, funnier, smarter, kinder. You genuinely enjoyed being around him.

He was extremely patient with you. He’d recommend you things to entertain yourself, let you vent when you needed, and without having to do it, would often make sure you had been eating properly because he had observed that between how much you had cried the days after the breakup, your job, and your lack of sleep you were low on energy. Damian had even spent an entire week helping you redecorate the apartment to cheer your spirit.

Being close to Damian meant spending time at the park with Titus, a shit ton of it, and trying new food every weekend, and visiting art galleries which had never been your thing. Being close to Damian also meant worrying because with all of his skills and abilities he was the most stubborn man you had ever met who often fought blindly just to end up in the Batcave's medical wing with a worried Alfred calling you to let you know your friend was hurt but alive.

Most importantly, being close to him meant feeling free to be yourself. You were sure no one would believe you, but it had never been truer.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

Elevators had you tired, ironically. The only reason you hadn’t taken the stairs was that you were carrying a portfolio full of documents, a book bag, your purse, and a coat — everything was wet, just like you. Taking an umbrella would’ve saved you many nuisances, or not walking home from work, but you were too distracted in the morning to remember and now you were paying for it thanks to the rain that came with the nearing seasonal change.

You liked the rain, its sound was soothing, the smell made you aware of your own existence as it awakened your senses, you felt cleansed by it. A lovely thing to experience overall, just not after a long day of work.

Stepping out the second the elevator doors slid open, you took the keys out of your coat with your right hand. You let the straps of your purse slide down to your forearm as you flexed your arm while introducing the key in the lock, when it turned, you sighed out of relief and pushed the door open to finally get inside.

The lights were already on, sizzling echoed around the small apartment and a familiar smell of stir-fried vegetables hit your nose. You hung your coat, letting it drip as much water it naturally could before even daring to put it into the dryer.

Walking further into the apartment, you found Damian in the kitchen. He was wearing the comfiest clothes you had seen him on, sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt with only a pair of white socks.

“What are you doing in here with this weather?” you asked, taking a look at what he was cooking.

“I was bored.”

He always said the same, you always told him you didn’t believe him but he ignored it every single time. Patting his back, you announced you would get changed.

“Don’t take too long, dinner will get cold!”

As much as you were fine with Damian being there( and his cuisine,) you had to wonder why couldn’t he tell you his reasonings for his presence at your place. One thing was him visiting when you were there and another him practically breaking into your apartment — you were open to give him a copy of the keys, to be honest, but you would really appreciate it if he asked.

Dinner was delicious, shared over talk about your day. Damian was avoiding speaking about his day, about his entire week actually — in the past month and a half he hadn’t done anything close to that.

Sat on the couch in order to continue bingeing the show the two of you had started last week, you considered asking him what was going on with him. It partially scared you, the last time a member of that family had acted like that toward you they broke your heart.

Taking a deep breath, you threw your head backward to rest it against the edge of the sofa. Damian watched you, frowning. “Are you okay?”

You answered in a hum. “You?”

“Peachy.”

You moved around the couch, opening your eyes to stare at him. He stared back, the frown slowly disappearing from his face as seconds passed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you inquired in a timid voice.

“Father is planning on retiring.”

“Oh... are you taking over?”

“Yes.”

You couldn’t picture anyone but him doing it. Dick had been miserable as Batman, Jason wasn’t interested in being like Bruce after everything that had happened, and Cass was finally finding a balance in her life.

“You don’t sound happy about it.”

“I am.”

“But?”

He shook his head, “but nothing. It was a long day.”

For your mental wellbeing, you didn’t press on it. He was clearly hiding something from you but he had the right to do so. It made you feel bad but whatever.

The lights flickered, prompting you to groan. The storm was getting worse, the sky was rumbling with thunder and the lighting striking the city and flashing into the living room through the thin white drapes was as mesmerizing as terrifying.

You mumbled, “can you stay?”

“Yes.”

Damian walked behind you, holding the flashlight from his cellphone to light the path toward your bedroom. You undid the bed quickly so he wouldn’t have to hold the device up for so long, you were sure it wasn’t an inconvenience to him but you still didn’t want to bother him.

He sat down on the bed, just next to you, “I’ll stay here until you fall asleep, then I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“You can sleep next to me if you want.” You felt your face burn up the second the words left your mouth yet you meant them. Oh, you did.

You heard shuffling. Assuming he was taking his sweatshirt off to get into bed, you moved away from the middle of the mattress toward the farthest side from him.

Getting under the duvet, Damian laid on his back. His cologne mixed with his usual smell of vanilla and almonds filled your nostrils as he dropped his head onto the pillow with his arms crossed against his front.

“Dami?” you whispered. He hummed in acknowledgment. “Can you get closer? I’m cold.”

With no hesitation, he turned over in order to lay on his side. Throwing his arm around you from behind, “Is that better?”

You relaxed with your back against his chest, letting a content sigh out. Damian inhaled deeply, taking a whiff off you. He did it again then, finding the smell of your lotion soothing. As he relaxed too, his arm curled around you more comfortably with his hand laying on your plump belly. You placed your hand on top of his, a little nervous yet excited. Being held was a nice feeling, one you had forgotten.

He lifted his fingers, brushing yours. You intertwined your fingers between his, playing with them. He huffed a light breath, caressing the sides of your fingers as you played with his.

Turning around, you got lost into the ethereal way the light from the lamppost entering through the window illuminated Damian’s side profile. He opened his mouth to probably say something but you abruptly shut him up. You did know what overcame you, it was something that had been simmering in you for the past month — the need of being near him, the butterflies that swarmed inside you when he laughed, the peace he brought you. He surprised you by kissing back.

“Shit,” you exclaimed, realizing you had actually done it. “I’m sorry, I—“

“It’s okay,” he interrupted to assure you. He placed his hand on your lower back, leaning in again. “Can we do it again?”

You kissed him again, feeling him tighten his arm around you in order to pull you closer. He deepened the kiss too, prying your mouth open as you held his face in order to ground yourself mentally. Damian laid you on your back, pushing you into the mattress as he straddled you — his lips didn’t leave yours, not even as both of you whimpered while his hands trailed up and down your thighs and yours mapped his back. Full-on making out with your best friend wasn’t how you pictured your shitty day ending, but you weren’t about to complain.

Damian couldn’t keep his lips off your face, enjoying the softness of your cheeks under his mouth and seeing the natural twitches of your nose which made him realize you were actually awake. He hoped he hadn’t awakened you up.

“I thought you were asleep.” The depth of his voice sent a shiver down your spine. “Were you pretending?”

You hummed, “it was hard with all those kisses.”

“I wasn’t kissing you,” he said teasingly, using his index and middle fingers to lift your head in order to continue kissing your face. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did. You?”

He answered, “yes. The best in months.” It felt good knowing you weren’t the only one.

Damian hugged you close with both arms, exhaling happily, “you’re very warm.”

Hiding your face in his chest, you hugged back. You didn’t know what it meant, or the meaning behind the gesture of still cuddling in bed with the guy you had started developing feelings for mere weeks after breaking up with his brother. But it didn’t matter, you were comfortable in his arms and happy with seemingly having cracked his shell.

You had to ask, however. “Did I overstep last night?”

“No, I told you it was okay.”

“Oh, yeah.”

He pulled away enough to fully face you. You attempted to ignore him, shifting under his gaze. Damian licked his lips, “did I make you think otherwise?”

You shook your head, the sound the friction of the side of your face made against the pillow too loud for your liking. “I just... I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“Is this ruining our friendship?”

You stuttered, “I— I think so?” You weren’t sure.

“I want to ruin it,” he stated, eyes fixed on yours, “more than anything.”

Your eyes dropped to his mouth as he said it, his full lips tempting you again. You were scared of the lack of guilt you were feeling, but you happily gave in. “Let’s ruin it, then.”

Smiling brightly, he dipped his face in order to kiss you. You were certain you would never get over his soft lips, the warmth of his breath, the firmness of his touch, his intoxicating scent, his silky voice... God, he truly had you smitten.

Nuzzling against your shoulder, he intertwined his legs with yours. “I don’t want to get out of bed yet.”

You giggled. “Then don’t.”

Damian decided he could do that, just cuddle his favorite person in the world until something came up, maybe.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

You had been typing on your computer, as music harmonized your den-office when the doorbell rang. Looking at the time to try and guess who could be visiting you on a Tuesday noon, you pushed yourself back, away from the desk, in order to stand up.

Dot, the Labrador you had adopted no long ago wiggled her tail from her spot near the couch as you crossed the living room. She loved laying there, she had a good view of the door and could jump on you the second you got home.

You regretted opening the door the second you faced your visitor. Tim Drake smiled timidly at you, “hi, (Y/N).”

“I— uh, hello?” You tilted your head, confused as to what he was doing there, who had given him the address and why had he thought he would be welcome.

“Can I come in?”

You lifted your index finger. “Just a second.”

Opening the guest-closet, you took a pair of slippers out and padded back toward the door. Tim looked down at the slippers you were offering to him, then at his shoes — as he did, he realized you weren’t wearing any footwear.

He complied, taking his shoes off and sliding his feet into the slippers. When he asked where to put the pair of footwear he had just taken off, you pointed to a mat next to the door, just under the key holders. You closed the front door as he dropped his shoes.

“Wow,” he exclaimed, eyes taking in as much of the space around him as possible, “your taste has changed! How long has it been?”

“A little over a year and a half.”

“We really need to catch up!”

You motioned for him to sit down on the couch. Dot curiously stared at him when he did so while you asked, “do you want anything to drink?”

“Coffee would be fine,” he answered just to have more time to examine the living room. It was extremely luxurious, with a vaulted ceiling and oversized windows.

Curious about the overall design of the penthouse, and how good your job had to be for you to be able to pay for such living arrangements, he followed you toward the kitchen where you were preparing his coffee. It was as full of luxury as the living room, with stainless steel appliances, granite counter-tops and a breakfast bar the size of your previous apartment’s entire kitchen.

“How have you been?” He asked, sliding his palm against the marbled breakfast bar.

“I’ve been great.” You gave him a tight smile, placing the sugar bowl onto the bar.

“I’m glad. How’s your family?”

“They’re great, thank you.” Out of courtesy, you asked, “how have you been?”

He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, “well, after I abruptly broke up with you, from which I’m very sorry because I was a dick, my girlfriend broke up with me too...”

“I’m sorry.” You genuinely felt for him, being dumped out of the blue wasn’t something you wished upon anyone. Pouring coffee into a mug, you handed it to him.

“It’s okay,” he smiled openly, nodding as a thank you for the coffee and dropping a couple of spoonfuls of sugar into the beverage, “I’m over it. I moved to Europe when Bruce said he needed someone to supervise the branch of the company there, the drama wasn’t good for my spirit.”

“Why are you back? It’s not like Gotham has changed.”

“My best friend is getting married.”

You hummed, finding estrange that you hadn’t been invited to the wedding.

“You have a new boy or anything?”

You stuttered, dropping a teabag into a cup, “perhaps.”

“Come on, (N/N), tell me! I won’t get mad.” He deviated his gaze. “I’m over you and everything.”

You confessed then, pouring hot water on top of the herbs, “I am dating Damian.”

“Which Damian?”

You waited for your ex-boyfriend to swallow the sip of coffee he had just taken and took the opportunity to have a sip of tea to calm your nerves. “Wayne,” you explained.

“You’re dating my little brother?!” He whisper-shouted. You simply nodded. “For how long?”

“Eleven months.”

“So what? You ran into his arms as soon as I broke up with you?!”

You didn’t appreciate the tone he was using or what he was insinuating. Definitely not when he had cheated on you without for once thinking of sparing your feelings.

“Damian was there for me when no one else had the time, it just happened.”

“I thought you were going to stay away from my family,” he reproached you.

In all honesty, you had thought the same thing. As much as Alfred had told you to call him if you needed anything when he went to pick up the belongings Tim kept at your place, you hadn’t planned on doing it — but that same night, when Damian arrived, tired after a long patrol, and playing dumb by saying he had just dropped by because he was bored you decided you didn’t have to, you didn’t want to. Eventually, you evolved, as many things had after that night, not for Damian nor because of him but next to him, with his patience and support.

“I can’t believe you,” he shook his head.

“I thought you were over me.”

“I’m not jealous! But you deserve better than him — you’re so pretty and nice and he’s selfish and mean and depends on Bruce for everything.”

That didn’t sound like Damian at all. “Maybe you don’t know your brother.”

“You’re telling me he’s changed? Because I don’t believe it.”

You couldn’t be a testimony of Damian’s change when you had never seen the version Tim described, but you could definitely say Damian was everything you had always wanted in a partner and more — he was what you needed, what you loved.

“You still can do way, waaaaaay better than him,” Tim interpreted your silence as a confirmation of Damian’s change.

“Like who, Timothy?”

“Like me!” he exploded, clenching his eyes shut for a couple seconds to control his breathing. “I’ll go straight to the point: I miss you. I came back to get you back, there’s no wedding. I was too stupid to see what I had when I had it, I know, but I’ve changed,” he assured, “I have a new philosophy, I’m surrounded by better people. I’m not blind anymore.”

“Neither I am.”

He ignored your comment and went on, “let’s just start again. In another country, a new house. We’ll adopt as many puppies as you want!” Tim took an envelope out, “I have two plane tickets here for tomorrow. One is yours.”

The front door unlocked loudly, prompting both you and Dot to crane your necks in order to stare at it. Damian pushed it open, shoes in hand and blazer draping over his forearm.

You saw him focus on the pair of shoes on the mat for mere seconds before Dot happily wiggled her tail at him as she approached him. Damian threw his blazer to the nearest couch, quickly undoing his tie which followed suit, before hunching down to pet the little dog.

Out of habit, you left the kitchen to walk toward him and greet him. He stood back up, naturally towering over you and kissing you softly, “hello, beloved.”

You giddily smiled, forgetting you weren’t alone, “hi, handsome. I missed you.” Wrapping your arms around his waist, you inhaled his scent. God, you had truly missed him. Sleeping without him wasn’t the same, nor having to rely on music or the tv for the place to not feel alone. Two days of not hearing his voice not waking up tangled up with him were too much sometimes.

Damian put his hands on your waist, sighing at finally being able to touch your soft body again. “I missed you more.” He leaned downward, placing his lips on yours again.

“(Y/N),” Tim pleaded from behind you, making you jump.

Damian parted from you, looking past your shoulder and directly at his brother. “Drake. What are you doing in here?”

You stepped to the side, opting for opening the terrace’s door so Dot could have some fun outside. In the background, as you leant against the doorway and watched the little dog sniff the terrace, you heard Tim say Alfred had given him the address. Oh, sweet Alfred, always trying to keep the family together.

Turning around, you saw them both sit down in front of each other in the living room. Trying to keep them from fighting, you walked back into the room and sat down next to your boyfriend.

Tim immediately told you, “please don’t throw it all to waste for him.”

Both Damian and you frowned. He put his hand on your thigh, like he had done the first time he had taken you to a business dinner as his date, like he had grown used to do under any table. It was your favorite gesture, he wasn’t a big fan of PDA but he still made sure to always be touching you — the fact that he loved your thighs when you had always been insecure due to their size was a nice addition.

“I’m over you, Tim. Damian is my boyfriend, and with who I want to be.”

“He’ll never love you like I do, he can’t.” Tim’s tone was the harshest you had heard from him.

He was right, though. Damian would never love you like Tim did, that was the whole point. You didn’t want what Tim had to offer, the kind of love he could give — you were past that, you had been for a long time now and it felt amazing.

Tired and spent, Damian hugged you extremely tightly while cuddling that night, almost to the point where you struggled to breathe. Wiggling in his arms in order to turn around and face him, you wrapped your arms around him as best as you could.

“What’s wrong, Dami?”

“Nothing.”

You dropped yourself onto your back, struggling to bring him in but ultimately succeeding. Damian sighed, shifting to be more comfortable as he laid his head on your bare chest.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. Damian inhaled your scent, sighing in content — he was in his safe place. “I sometimes forget not everyone sees me the way you do.”

You supposed he was referring to Tim’s assumptions about him. “Does it bother you?”

“Only when they use it to try putting you against me.”

“You know they would never succeed, right?” You needed him to be aware of that.

“I do.”

“But?”

He moved to hover over you, fitting his legs between yours as he propped himself up with his elbows. “But it’s different when your ex does it. And no, I’m not jealous, I do trust you.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck. You understood what he meant, perfectly so. Damian had been there to pick up the pieces, he had helped you glue them together and even taught you to tweak them so the final piece would look better — with that, beautiful things had bloomed, but in between many tears had been shed on your behalf and many confessions had been made regarding your feelings in general; sprinkle in how hard it had been to process the fact that you had fallen for each other and you could understand where he was coming from. There was a piece of Damian in you, and there was a piece of you in him; at every level.

“It’s not relevant anymore, love,” you reminded him.

Damian caught your lips in a tender kiss, humming. “I just wish he wasn’t back.”

“He’ll be gone by tomorrow. And if he isn’t, I don’t care.” You started playing with his hair, unconsciously running your fingers up and down through his locks. “But I don’t want you to have a bad relationship with your brother because of me.”

“We’ve spoken about that.”

Damian had never been able to get along with Tim, his relationship with Dick was great and he had even built one with Jason, Cass was his favorite, and he had gotten to meet with Helena a few times. However, his resentment toward Tim heightened when you two started frequenting each other — he seemed to now despise him.

You tilted your head to pepper kisses over his jaw. “You’ll manage, Damian. You ignored him for years.”

Your boyfriend sighed dramatically, letting his weight gradually fall on top of you. Placing his hand on your cheek, he smirked before burying his face in your neck. “Besides,” Damian mumbled, “he’s not the one keeping you up tonight.”

#damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x plus size reader #tim drake x reader #tim drake x plus size reader #plus size fanfiction #plus size reader #robin x reader #robin x plus size reader #damian wayne #robin #dc x plus size reader #dc x reader #batfam x plus size reader #batfam x reader

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dilfdoctordoom · 4 years

Note

What do the JL think of Bette? Specifically Barry, Hal, Clark, Arthur, Ollie, and Diana

I very much love that you included two of my favourite characters here.

Barry:

Bette spent many of her formative years in Gotham, so you can bet your ass that this girl is ACAB

Now, I don’t know if you’ve been called a bastard by a thirteen-year-old in a red dress, but Barry Allen has

Life-altering experience

He spends an hour asking Bruce what he did wrong, why does Bat-Girl hate him? He hasn’t even spoken to her yet what could he have done

And Bruce just... the fun explanation that she hates all cops. Instantly. Oh you’re a CSI that must be fun, it doesn’t matter, it’s already on sight for you

Like, okay, in Gotham? Pretty much every cop is dirty. Gordon, Montoya & Bullock are the only ones that Bette knows aren’t & she still doesn’t really trust them

So she’s not gonna be particularly nice to Barry Allen & Bruce literally has to tell her to behave

(Kathy is very amused by it all)

There’s a moment where Barry thinks she just hates speedsters, but then she & Wally seem to be getting on great. Like, Kid Flash is awesome, cool fast guy. Flash is a cop & therefore she cannot trust him

Bat-Girl: I can respect you as a hero but I do not like you as a person

So, yeah, Barry’s, uh, iffy on her. He’s sure she’s a great hero & she seems nice to the others, but he’d really rather not work with her, even when she’s Flamebird/Hawkfire. Especially when she’s Flamebird/Hawkfire, then she’s got tasers & flamethrowers

Hal:

Very different from how she interacts with Barry

Mainly because she first meets Hal after Kathy’s died & she goes to Coast City as part of her whole ‘run away from her emotions’ thing

She’s always loved the beach & Coast is supposed to be so nice. Plus, they’ve got Green Lantern; they’re not gonna need her to suit up, are they?

And then there’s an incident with Manhunters & like, Hal’s got this handled, no doubt about it, but also, Bette is impulsive & has a massive hero complex & yes she does suit up & help out. She does it because it’s right, because she’s angry, just because

But Hal kinda freaks out? Because she’s a kid and yeah, that might fly in Gotham where Batman can keep an eye on her, but oh god, what if he was fighting Sinestro? That’s low key terrifying to him, he doesn’t wanna put a kid in danger

He’s still good with kids. Like, that’s canon, he’s just good with them. So he & Bette do get along & after he gets over the initial ‘please do not fight mass murdering robots you need adult supervision & idk if I qualify for that’, they do actually spend time together!

Mainly because Hal isn’t too comfortable letting a teenage vigilante who just experienced a massive lost be alone & honestly? He’s right. Like, Kathy has just died & Bette threw herself into an extremely dangerous fight... red flags all around, my dudes

So they do work together while she’s in Coast. She only stays a few weeks before she moves on, but she does kinda like Green Lantern?

And the feeling’s mutual. They don’t really keep in contact but Hal keeps an eye on the news to make sure she’s okay & not, uh, dead

They don’t actually meet face to face until a dumb Justice League party years later & then they discover that Bruce finds Hal annoying... he finds the concept of Bette & Hal even being acquaintances annoying... he’s given them the ultimate weapon. Bruce Wayne goes grey earlier and it’s because Hal & Bette spend an entire night pretending that they went on a massive space adventure, full of danger & peril, solely to drive up his blood pressure

Hal doesn’t look into her identity all that much, but thinks she’s fun. Anyone who annoys Bruce for fun is cool in his book

(And I know this is supposed to focus on his feelings about her but consider: Bette meets the Green Lantern of Coast City & he lets her stay in his shitty rundown apartment. Everything that can go wrong for him seems to, but he’s still there, making jokes and saving people and doing the right thing. His willpower keeps him going, even on the darkest of nights and maybe, just maybe, Bette’s stubbornness picked up a little bit of inspiration for somebody along the way)

(And maybe, maybe, she joins the fight against Parallax and realizes just how far her heroes can fall)

Clark:

Um, well, I absolutely headcanon that Clark gave Bette the name Flamebird. Like, told her the story, made a series of not-so-subtle mentions that she should take up the name...

So, yes, Clark knows Bette

She’s Bruce’s cousin, after all, and he’s his best friend. Of course, their paths would cross, especially with how often Clark seemed to work with Batman & Robin when they first started out

He’s worked with her a lot when she’s Bat-Girl & every single time, Bette is starstruck because oh my god, that’s Superman, she’s talking to Superman, she’s working with Superman

He tells her the legend of Nightwing & Flamebird when she’s a kid & she loves the concept of Flamebird. She’s only twelve at the time, but something about it clicks with her

And when she gives up on being Bat-Girl, but is still determined to be a hero, he suggests Flamebird

(Bette absolutely tears up at this)

They don’t really work together when she gets older, except on big, world ending disasters that require the entire Justice League’s attention, but he still sends her one of Ma Kent’s apple pies for the holidays

Clark’s just the cool uncle from when was younger

She stills freaks out a little every time he talks to her, though

She’s never gonna get over knowing Superman

Arthur:

It took me a while to think about this but, yes, Arthur likes Bette

Mainly because Bette is a friend of La’gaan’s. That’s pretty much how he knows her

He doesn’t even know she’s a part of the Batfamily for years, because she’s always seen with the Titans

So, like, he doesn’t really know her that much, but she’s a good friend to one of his sidekicks & La’gaan’s already made passing mentions to crashing at her & Gar’s place, so. Yeah. She got Aquaman’s seal of approval

Though Arthur is always gonna be entertained by how much teasing Flamebird is allowed to get away with. Most of the League may not be aware of her Special Cousin Privilages, he isn’t either, but it’s absolutely hilarious to see her tear into Batman at random

11/10, good friend to La’gaan, very entertaining. Would be better if she could keep a goldfish alive

Ollie:

Okay, so, Ollie is, like, shown to be nicer to the younger heroes, Kyle excluded because he’s dating his son, so she’s gonna be nice to her. Or, at least, Ollie nice. Hm.

He thinks she’s way too small when she first starts out because even when she’s eleven, Bette still looks like she’s nine, but she’s got two heroes looking out for her & with a kid sidekick of his own, he’s not in a place to judge

Aside from one poor team-up between Green Arrow & Speedy and Batwoman & Bat-Girl, where Ollie & Kathy absolutely butted heads, oh my god, they’d hate each other, he didn’t see much of her. He works in Star, she works in Gotham, when are their paths gonna cross

While she works less with most Leaguers the older she gets, she actually ends up working more with Ollie when she’s older

Mainly ‘cause she’s friends with Roy & Cass may be friends with Connor, but that doesn’t mean she can drive so sometimes she’ll get Bette to bring her to Star

Which is honestly what Ollie knows her most as: Batgirl’s older sister who’ll lend a hand whenever she’s in Star

She’s good with kids, efficient & a little showy, but he really can’t judge that last part. Got Roy & Dinah’s stamp of approval, though, & that goes a long way with him

They never, like, exclusively work together, but she’s good to call on in an emergency

He did do a double take when she called Deathstroke ‘uncle’ though because... well, look, at Flamebird. Now look at Deathstroke. Do you see his confusion? It only grows when Slade lets out the most exasperated sigh, mutters something about how he wishes he could kill her without Addie getting mad, and then Bette sticks her tongue out to him & makes some joke about the shitshow he married into

Well. At least his family will never involve Deathstroke

Diana:

Diana gave Bette the shovel talk

This is when DonnaBette is happening & close to figuring out each other’s identities & probably the biggest hint for Bette is Wonder Woman flying down to tell her that if she breaks Wonder Girl’s heart, she’ll have her to answer to

So. Diana’s first impression of Bette is Flamebird having an anerysm on a rooftop in Gotham because she just realized she’s dating Wonder Girl

The absolute dumbassary of DonnaBette, unparalled

Diana likes Bette, thinks she’s probably a great person, but it is her legal job as Donna’s big sister to make it clear that if anything happens to her baby sister, it means war

They end up meeting later, after Donna & Bette have had their mutual break-up, when Diana is working with Kate & Bette is still unable to form a full sentence. Wonder Woman oh my god, oh my god, her brain doesn’t work that’s actual literal Wonder Woman oh my go-

Bruce did later let it slip that after the Maxwell Lord incident, Bette was 100% on Wonder Woman’s side, which she honestly didn’t expect, but eh. Bette’s not as big on the whole no killing as her cousin

Diana mainly knows Bette in the capacity of her being Donna’s girlfriend

Definitely prefers her to some of Donna’s other partners ie Terry because I don’t csre what anyone says, that relationship was trash & I will not pretend that miss Diana Prince was okay with her nineteen-year-old sister dating a divorcee in his thirties that was also her professor

#bette kane #q & a #this is bad but it took me forever so idc

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echo-bleu · 4 years

Note

♥ - family headcanon - Malex

Thank you!!

Family is a loaded word for both Alex and Michael. That’s canon, not headcanon, so I won’t go back to the things we already know. We know about Mara, and we know about Jesse.

[note: I kinda went into meta territory here, but this isn’t intended as a meta. This is what I draw on to write fics about Alex or Michael, but most of it is headcanon, not canon analysis]

I have a couple of headcanons about Alex’s mother. I think she was terrified of Jesse, and abused by him (at least psychologically), and that she was distant toward her children, because she was too traumatized to be anything else. I think she watched Jesse indoctrinate their oldest sons into his own views of the world. She probably knew confusedly that Alex was different, but he was five or six when she left, too early for her to know how. She left to save her own life, and she knew that if she tried to take any of the children, she’d lose against Jesse because she was Native and penniless and he’s a “pillar of society”. But then she didn’t contact them much. Maybe Jesse didn’t let her. Maybe she didn’t try. Anyway, Alex feels like his mother abandoned him, and he resents her for that, even though now he understands why she did it. He doesn’t talk to her, though, no more than maybe birthday wishes (from her to him, not the other way around) and a card for the new year. A stilted phone call here or there. I think maybe her other sons didn’t feel as betrayed when she left, but they’re also not in much contact with her. (Whether she knows anything about Jesse’s work, I guess we’ll hear about that eventually.)

Alex brothers are mostly on Jesse’s side. I want him to have a brother who’s a bit nicer, but I don’t think any of them are really in contact with Alex. There’s too much history, too much pain there for all of them. They weren’t there after he lost his leg (being far away, but maybe they didn’t want to come). Jesse came to the hospital, and Alex absolutely hated that. The thought of being in a room with his father and not being able to move enough to escape makes his skin crawl, and is part of why he threw himself into rehab.

But the most important for Alex and for Michael is the family they choose for themselves. I would argue that Max and Isobel are Michael’s chosen family, in that we have no idea if they’re biologically related at all, and they did choose each other. Max and Isobel could have had nothing to do with Michael when he came back to Roswell, they had a family of their own by then and a good situation. But they stuck together, even in the face of great trauma and guilt. Even Michael and Max, who barely spoke to each other for ten years, they still stuck together. To keep to headcanons rather than meta territory here, I want Liz and Alex (and maybe Maria and Kyle) to join this little family eventually, when they get to a good place.

I posted this little fic last night, part of a series about Alex and found family. It’s about Mimi and Maria showing Alex what being a family is like, what that kind of love is like, and there will be a second part about Arturo, Liz and Rosa, and about the pod squad. They all become Alex’s family, in different ways. I think he’ll always have a place in his heart for Mimi, and he goes to visit her often once he’s back in Roswell, whatever his relationship with Maria is like. Arturo is important to him too, and @acomebackstory and I once discussed that Alex probably has a fake ID ready for him in case it’s needed, though Arturo won’t take it. Jim Valenti was a surrogate father at times, but growing up Alex saw that Jim was the only person who could have stood up against Jesse for Alex, and he never did, so he has mixed feelings. He understands the man a bit better when he finds out his involvement with Caulfield, but it’s still complicated.

The people his age, now. I think Liz and Maria are Alex’s friends from the past, and they’re hanging on to each other, but they need to get past that and start something new if they want to stay friends. I want them to, though. I want them to really discuss the fact that they didn’t see each other in ten years, that they’re different people now.

But Alex will have a hard time discussing things with anyone, because he struggles with identifying and expressing emotions. Where he grew up, emotions were forbidden. I think his emo style and love for music were a great rebellion from that, but then he enlisted and it was just as bad. Kyle’s friendship arrives in his life at a time where he needs to let things out (coming back to Roswell, discovering just how bad his father is, the stuff with Michael), and Kyle is exactly what he needs. I think he could become great friends with Isobel, out of shared personality traits but also common trauma.

Michael is already part of Alex’s family. In fact, at the end of season one, he’s at a stage where he truly believes that Michael is his only family−in the sense that matters. In Alex’s mind, Michael is the only one of the above (Mimi, Arturo, Maria, Liz, Kyle) who could possibly reciprocate that feeling, because of the pull between them and because Michael also doesn’t already have a family (he has Max and Isobel, but I’m not sure how much Alex understands of that). So the others will have to really show him that he’s loved for him to believe it.

Eventually, I want Alex and Michael to be able to build a family with each other, and will all their friends, and when they do (I don’t even mean in canon there, just in my headcanon) it will be glorious.

#caitlesshea #roswell nm #malex #alex manes #michael guerin #found family #echo's writing thoughts #this got long

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pastelwitchling · 5 years

Text

All Hallows Roswell October Challenge

Week Two: Creatures

***

“Alex?” Alex looked up from his storybook. His dad, dark-haired and kind-eyed, looked down at his son from his bedroom door. “What’re you doing?”

“Reading about monsters,” Alex held up his book. He was too young for it, that’s what his brothers kept telling him. He was only nine, after all, and his brothers were so much older and braver than he was. At least, that was what they kept telling him, too. “Dad,” he leaned forward on his bed, “did you know that a siren could crash entire ships with her voice?”

“Entire ships,” Jesse exhaled, leaning against Alex’s doorframe with wide eyes.

“Really, it’s true!” Alex said, excited to finally have someone want to listen to him. None of his brothers would, and his mother always treated him like a baby. Alex wanted someone who wouldn’t coo and aww at everything he said. “It’s written right here!”

Jesse came in and sat at the foot of Alex’s bed. “Well, I – can I see that? Thank you – I don’t know about sirens, but personally, I’ve always liked werewolves better. I think they’d just be nicer.”

Alex bounced excitedly. “They’re in there, too! And vampires, and all sorts of monsters!”

Jesse hummed, looking through the pages. “But, you know, the thing about monsters is that you never know where they’re really hiding. They could be anyone, anywhere.”

Alex considered this, then scowled. “Like Flint? He’s a monster.”

Jesse chuckled, ruffling his son’s hair, and Alex felt a warmth bloom in his chest at being able to make his father laugh. He so rarely did anymore.

“No, I, uh, I’m not talking about your brother,” he said, handing the book back to Alex, and Alex was surprised to see that his expression had suddenly gone dark. “Just… I want you to know, Alex, that I’m never going to let any monsters near you. You won’t have to worry about them.”

Alex blinked. He didn’t know why his father had turned so serious all of a sudden, and he was enveloped in that strange, cold feeling he usually got when Jesse returned home late, too tired and too unwilling to talk about work, what he’d been doing, why he was coming back in the dead of night. Alex shouldn’t have known about that (it was always past his bedtime when his father came home), but he did. He felt he maybe shouldn’t worry so much, but he did.

“I know, dad,” Alex said instead, not wanting to burden his father with his concerns. Whatever trouble there was, Alex was sure there was no one better to handle it than Jesse Manes, the greatest hero in Roswell. “I’ll protect you, too. We can protect each other.”

Jesse smiled softly, ruffling Alex’s hair. “That’s my little soldier.”

Alex woke to a throbbing pain in his arm. Images of warplanes and missiles and blood and his father’s loving smile flashed in his mind as he panted.

He sat up in his chair, and yanked his sleeve up. He clenched his jaw. The coloring in his veins – the pink, violet, blue, orange, green, and gold of the spaceship piece – had stretched to his upper arm, webbing across his skin like a beautiful, poisonous stream.

He stood and went to pull some painkillers (he never left anywhere without them) from his bag when he saw Michael asleep on the table, his head pillowed on his arms, his cowboy hat beside him, and files on his kind over the years strewn around haphazardly.

Alex shook his head. “How disorganized,” he muttered, and barely managed to take a step towards him when his arm throbbed painfully again, and he winced. With trembling fingers, he pulled out a few pills and swallowed. They did little but make the pain bearable, and even that was working less and less every day.

His fingers tightened on the corners of the table as he waited for the throbbing to recede, his breaths heavy and shallow. Finally, he was able to stand straight, exhaling deeply as he did.

He all but fell in a chair next to Michael and leaned his elbow on the table, staring at the cowboy. He reached for him, lightly pushing the curls away from his eyes, his fingers tracing down Michael’s jaw, through his stubble. In his sleep, Michael turned into Alex’s touch, his lips just barely touching Alex’s hand, a low growl forming in his throat that Alex had never heard before as he chased the airman’s touch. Alex’s heart hammered in his chest, and it wasn’t long before darker images crowded his mind. Michael’s lips on Maria’s, his hands on her body, her hands on his. The throbbing returned, and Alex hastily pulled away.

He clutched his arm painfully, his nails digging into his skin, and he heard Michael stir awake behind him.

Go away, he silently urged the pain. Go away, go away, go away.

“What time is it?” Michael asked, his voice hoarse, and Alex had to breathe slowly to control the small electric shock in his chest.

“Two in the morning,” Alex said, taking his seat, his voice strained to his own ears.

Michael must’ve noticed it, too, because he asked, “You okay?”

Alex pulled his sleeve down. “Mm hm.”

“Morning,” Kyle suddenly said as he walked in. “Or, night, or whatever.”

Michael groaned as his head fell back onto the table, and Alex scoffed.

“Did you just finish your shift?” Alex asked as Kyle handed him a bag of bagels and a cup of something hot.

“Whoa, your hands are freezing,” he said. “Is it that cold outside?”

Kyle smiled at him strangely, his brows furrowed.

Alex ignored the look, and took a sip of his cup, tasting coffee. He gasped softly. “I love you.”

He’d meant it as a joke, and Kyle certainly seemed to take it that way with his cheeky smile, but Michael turned to look at him, his face unreadable. Alex thought it was time to stop trying to decipher Michael’s looks.

“I knew you’d be hungry, Manes,” Kyle set another paper bag and cup of coffee in front of Michael. “Your internal clock is freaking weird.”

Kyle sat back in his chair, crossing his feet up on the table as he took a file and checked the contents. He seemed to be drinking something thick and red from his own cup that Alex didn’t think was coffee, though he didn’t ask.

“A lot of people get hungry in the middle of the night,” Alex said, sipping his own coffee and sighing contently as the warm liquid eased some of the pain in his body. Whatever alien magic he encountered, he doubted he would ever come across anything as magical as caffeine.

“Have you guys found anything?”

Alex’s smile fell as he turned back to his screen. “Yeah, my, uh, great grandfather apparently invented a kind of bullet-proof glass that would keep an alien’s power contained. The Manes legacy just gets better and better,” he muttered.

The room was silent for a moment, then Kyle said, “Well, that’s what you and I are here for, right? Fixing it.”

Alex was just starting to smile, but then his eyes caught Michael’s, and it suddenly felt wrong to be comforted. He looked away.

“I need some air,” he mumbled, hurrying to the door before Michael offered to come along.

Alex walked out of the bunker to find himself in his living room at the cabin, the sunlight peeking through the curtains. Alex froze, his eyes wide. He looked down; he was wearing an oversized sweater and sweatpants. He opened the door he’d just walked out of, and saw that it led to the porch outside his house. He could hear music coming from the kitchen.

Alex slowly followed it to find Isobel and Maria with their heads bent over the stove. They were swaying their hips lightly to the song – Barry Manilow, Alex recognized it – whispering between each other.

“What the hell?” he said before he could catch himself, and the girls looked over their shoulders, smiling sweetly at him.

“Hey,” Maria said, her voice unusually soft, “did you have a good sleep?”

“Sleep?”

Isobel raised her brow. “Didn’t you say you wanted to sleep off all that extra pain medication you’ve been taking?”

Alex stepped back, his hand clutching his arm where his veins were throbbing, though it was little more than a painful stinging now. “You… you know about that?”

“I do,” Isobel said in a sing-song voice. “And you know I know. You know we’re telling the truth.”

Alex blinked. Right, he thought. Of course. Michael had followed him outside the bunker last night, and Alex had hastily decided to go home and finish his work there, hoping it would discourage Michael and his unbuttoned shirt from coming with him. Michael seemed to get the hint. He had then told Alex that he would send Isobel in the morning to help him. Alex rubbed his eyes. How could he have forgotten?

“Y-Yeah,” he said, unable to meet their eyes. “Sure.”

“Poor baby,” Maria cooed, “you look so tired. Here, have some tomato soup.”

She poured him a bowl, and came to stand in front of him, holding the steaming meal. Alex’s brows furrowed, but he could sense no tension coming from Maria, no discomfort – as if nothing had changed between them, as if these past few months didn’t carry a cold distance that kept them separated.

“Did I… call you, too?”

Maria stared. “You did.”

“Are you sure?”

“You did.”

Alex searched her face. “Yeah. I’m sure I did,” he said quietly, not recognizing his own voice, only trying hazily to find the memory. He took the bowl, the smell hitting him first. He coughed and coughed, thrusting it back at her.

“That smells like acid!”

Maria huffed a soft chuckle, and stepped closer to him. Isobel seemed to be concerned with the pot on the stove, humming as she stirred. Alex wished she would stop; he couldn’t focus with so much music around him.

“You’re so silly, Alex. Here, have some soup.”

Alex’s fingers twitched, and he moved away. “I’m not drinking that.”

“Have some soup, Alex. It tastes really good.”

Alex hesitated, glancing up from the bowl at Maria’s kind face. If she was so calm, then maybe Alex was just being paranoid. “Really?”

She handed him the bowl. “Have some soup. You’ll love it.”

Alex felt himself nod slowly. “I’ll… love it.”

Her smile widened. “You’ll love it.”

Alex tried to take the bowl again, but he suddenly felt something scalding touch his fingers, and realized that, without his noticing, the soup had burned through the bowl and was lying in sizzling droplets on the floor. Maria was still smiling at him as if she didn’t notice it at all, and Alex felt fear suddenly course through his entire body. His heart was hammering, the pain in his arm throbbing, his fingers trembling.

Alex gasped, and stepped back. Maria tried to follow him. “Stay away from me!” and he ran out of the cabin, his steps slower and more heavily weighed down with his prosthetic than usual. When he finally made it to the door and threw it open, he stumbled right into a warm, hard chest.

“Whoa, Alex,” Michael said, his eyes full of concern, “Alex, stop, it’s me!”

“Guerin,” Alex breathed, and without thinking, wrapped his arms around Michael’s shoulders. “Help me, Guerin, I think – I think I’m losing my mind!”

“Hey, hey,” he ran his hands up and down Alex’s back. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here, you’re safe.”

“I…” Alex shook his head, looking over his shoulder at his front door. “I don’t know what I just saw, I don’t understand what happened!”

“Alex –”

“I’m seeing things, I have to be!”

“Stop, look at me,” Michael held his face in his hands. “Look at me. You’re not making any sense. What happened?”

Alex could feel Michael’s breath fan his lips, Michael’s warm fingers on his jaw, Michael’s thumbs softly stroking his cheeks, Michael’s eyes searching his own, trying to find a way to help him. And Alex stepped back. He had to concentrate. He was losing himself. Why was he so afraid? Was what he had just seen real? It couldn’t have been, it certainly didn’t feel that way anymore now. Alex’s heart hammered, but his memories of the girls seemed blurry, as if Alex was seeing them through water.

“Inside,” he shook his head. “Inside.”

Michael glanced at the door. “Okay, Alex, don’t worry, I’ll check it out.”

“No, wait, don’t,” Alex warned, taking Michael’s arm with both hands. “I have to – I’ll come with you.”

Michael looked like he wanted to argue, but Alex wouldn’t let him go, and he seemed to realize that. He nodded, and Alex held onto him as they returned inside. All the way, Alex was wondering what Michael would do if he saw Maria standing in his kitchen. Would it just get awkward? Would Michael know that something was wrong with his ex-girlfriend? Would he believe Alex’s concerns?

They stepped further inside, and it was only when they reached the kitchen did Alex notice that the music that had been playing had stopped. There was no one in his cabin, Isobel and Maria were gone, the smell of acid along with them as if the girls hadn’t been cooking anything at all.

Alex searched the kitchen with furrowed brows as Michael went to check the rest of the cabin. Alex was just looking through his pots (none of them were touched or smelled as if they’d been rapidly cleaned) when Michael came back in.

“There’s no one here,” he said.

Alex shook his head, staring desperately out the window. The sun was already setting. Had they escaped somehow? “I really am losing my mind,” he whispered.

Michael came to sit beside him against the counter, and sighed. “You’ve been working too hard, you haven’t really eaten or slept –”

“Slept,” he muttered. “Did I sleep?”

“Alex. Alex, hey,” Michael cupped his jaw, forcing their eyes to meet. “You’re tired. You need to rest.”

“Rest,” he said, vividly remembering Maria’s kind smile, and the ice in her eyes. She hadn’t hesitated when she’d handed Alex the bowl, her fingers hadn’t trembled as if she was afraid for him. She’d lied to his face, and she’d wanted him gone.

Alex groaned, his head in his hands. “Rest, yeah. I need to rest.” He felt Michael’s hand between his shoulder blades, stroking slowly as if to help calm him down.

Alex looked up, saw Michael’s eyes search his face with concern and something else Alex didn’t want to identify, and he moved to stand only for Michael to follow him and help him gracefully to his feet. Alex wished he could’ve said he didn’t need it, but his legs felt so heavy for some reason.

“Thanks,” he said, and pulled away.

“You want me to stay with you?” he offered. “I can – I can stay with you.”

Yes, he thought. Please, please, stay with me. Don’t ever leave my side again.

“I’ll be okay on my own,” he ended up saying instead, and really, what else could he have said?

Friends didn’t hang onto each other like Alex wanted to hang on to Michael. Friends didn’t want to touch each other the way he wished Michael would keep touching him. And they weren’t that close of friends anyway.

Michael looked so crestfallen that it took everything for Alex not to pull him into his arms, kiss him senseless, and promise him that – more than anything – he wanted the cowboy to stay.

“Yeah,” Michael said with an upward quirk of his lips that fell almost instantly. “I should go. Full moon tonight, you know.”

Alex frowned. He most certainly did not know. Michael walked past him to the door, and as he moved further and further away, Alex felt that alarm suddenly rise again. His heart was racing, his hands trembling, his breaths coming out short and quick. He was terrified, and he didn’t know why.

Was he having another panic attack? No, he thought, hand on his chest. He had gotten so good at recognizing those. But this felt like a panic attack.

“Guerin,” he rushed into the hall to see that Michael had his hand on the knob. “Wait.”

“Wait?” Michael turned slightly to Alex, his hand on the knob tight as if it was the only thing keeping him from running back to the airman.

This is a terrible idea, Alex thought as he slowly approached Michael. A horrible, terrible idea.

But Alex slipped his hand into Michael’s, and his heart felt at ease, the pain in his arm a mere pinch now. It’s Michael, he realized. He takes the pain away somehow.

Michael’s eyes closed as Alex brought his other hand up to cup his jaw, his thumb gently caressing his cheek. He exhaled softly, planting an openmouthed kiss on Alex’s palm.

“Alex,” he breathed, and Alex couldn’t help but come closer, resting their foreheads together. It’s the only thing that helps take the pain and fear away, he told himself. That was why he was doing this. That was why he needed to get so close.

Then Michael took Alex’s hand from his face, and dragged it down his own body. Alex inhaled sharply. His fingers stretched through Michael’s chest hair, Michael leaning in closer as Alex unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, running his hands around Michael’s waist.

“Yeah, touch me,” Michael already sounded out of breath. Alex couldn’t help but gasp as Michael’s hands went under his shirt, stretching up his back and dragging his nails through his skin. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

Alex wanted to kiss him. The sky was rapidly turning dark, and Alex didn’t care. He wanted to forget about every horrible, scary thing, he wanted to sleep in Michael’s arms, leave a trail of kisses down his chest, feel Michael inside of him, hot and comforting and there. He wanted to have Michael in every possible way.

Then he felt something like sharp needles in his waist and he gasped, pulling back. His shirt was torn, blood seeping through the fabric. Michael’s hands were still held out for him, his nails turned to claws, covered in scarlet.

“Alex, what’s wrong?” Michael said, and as he asked, Alex saw that his eyes had turned an icy blue, his claws growing sharper until his hands stopped looking like hands, and more like a wolf’s paws. “Hey, it’s okay. Come here.”

The pain in Alex’s arm suddenly intensified, and he yanked his sleeve up to see that his veins were now glowing brightly. Michael seemed to hardly notice that Alex was hurt, and instead looked at him as if he’d been starving for weeks and Alex was his favorite meal.

“Alex,” he opened his arms, “come here.”

Alex shook his head, his heart jumping as his back hit the wall. “Guerin, stop. Please.”

“What’s wrong?” his brows furrowed as he caged Alex against the wall, his hands on his shoulders. His claws dug into Alex’s skin, and Alex winced.

“Guerin,” he whispered. “You’re hurting me.”

Michael frowned, finally noticing Alex’s blood on his hands. “I…” his eyes widened, and he looked out the window. “Full moon.”

“What’re you talking about?” Alex shook his head. “What’s happening to you?”

“I hurt you,” he breathed, then doubled over, screaming in absolute agony. His eyes were shut tight, the veins on his forehead bulging. As he screamed, his voice turned deeper and deeper until it was a wolf’s growl. Michael’s face and chest and hands lined with fur until it was no longer the cowboy he knew in front of him, but a full-fledged wolf.

Alex’s nails dug into the wall behind him. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think clearly. “Guerin?” he whispered, and the wolf’s eyes snapped to his, glaring.

The wolf growled low in his throat. He was at least as tall as Alex was, and twice his length. He suddenly leapt and Alex seized the only thing he could find – a lamp on his counter – and poured every bit of his strength into hitting the wolf over the head with it.

It only stumbled away, a trail of blood soaking its fur, its eyes tinted with the color so that it looked like it was crying blood. Alex felt so many emotions flooding his chest – guilt, grief, fear – and he dropped the lamp. If he couldn’t hurt Michael, he’d run. At least, he’d try.

His legs seemed to be weighed down by steel, unwilling to move, let alone escape. He fell down against his wall, watching Michael with shallow breaths as he prepared to lunge again. Alex heard a crash and held his arms up in defense, expecting to feel a wolf’s sharp teeth sinking into his skin. But there was nothing. He looked up to see Kyle suddenly in front of him, keeping Michael back.

“That’s enough, Guerin,” Kyle seethed. “You’ve done enough!”

“Kyle?”

The doctor hissed at Michael, and it was then that Alex saw his fangs. Vampires? Alex shook his head. Sirens? Werewolves?

“No,” he covered his ears, not wanting to hear the growls or whimpers or hissing. Not wanting to see Michael attempt to take a bite out of Kyle, or Kyle take a drink from Michael’s veins. “This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.”

He shut his eyes tight, but the sounds echoed in his head.

“Alex!” Kyle screamed. “Alex, wake up!”

“Stop it,” Alex cried. “This isn’t real! This isn’t real!”

“Wake up, damn it! Wake up!”

Alex felt a warm hand on his back and gasped. He was in his chair in the bunker, in front of the large glass table, Kyle’s hands tight on his wrists, forcing them down. Alex panted, looking around.

“Can you hear me?” Kyle asked, then again, “Alex, can you hear me?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah. Yeah.”

Kyle searched his face and seemed to realize Alex was telling the truth. He slowly let go. “That must’ve been one hell of a nightmare.”

“Nightmare,” Alex repeated, rubbing his face. “Yeah.”

It’s okay, he told himself. You’re okay. It was just a bad dream. That’s all.

Still…

“You kept talking about vampires and werewolves,” Michael suddenly said from behind him, and Alex realized that the hand on his back was the cowboy’s. “This month must be getting to you.”

He smiled, though Alex could hear the concern in his voice. The same he’d heard in his nightmare, his hand on his back just as warm. And Alex saw it. Even in Michael’s loving, beautiful face, Alex saw those piercing blue eyes, the ones he’d known from staring down the monster of his childhood. Alex felt Michael’s nails tearing his skin, drawing blood, looking at Alex as if he didn’t care that he’d hurt him.

No, Alex thought. It was worse. It was as if Michael had wanted to hurt him.

Alex’s arm throbbed painfully, and he flinched away from Michael’s touch. The dream had been wrong. Michael wasn’t a source of comfort. Michael only made the pain worse.

“Get away from me,” he muttered, drawing further away.

“What?” Michael stepped closer, and Alex winced.

“Don’t touch me!”

Alex wouldn’t dare look at Michael’s face, but after a moment of silence, he could hear Kyle say, “Guerin, maybe you should…” Then, “Guerin, come on, something’s wrong. Let me take care of it. Just go home.”

Several seconds later, Alex heard the front door open and close, and Kyle sat in a chair across from him. He sighed. “What’s going on, Alex? Was it the nightmare?”

Alex clutched his arm tighter. Kyle must’ve noticed because he tilted his head. “Are you in pain? Here, let me see.”

Hesitantly, Alex let Kyle gently pull his sleeve up. The pain was dimmer now that Michael was gone, but it still hurt.

Kyle’s face fell. “Oh my God. What did this?”

Alex shook his head. “I think it was the spaceship piece. The alien we saw last week, he – I think he started it. The colors, they’re the same, and every time I touch that glass, it gets worse.”

“I knew he did something to you,” Kyle hissed, then searched Alex’s face. “And Guerin? Him being here makes it hurt more?” Alex nodded. “We have to tell someone.”

“We can’t,” Alex said. “Michael…” he took a deep breath, “Michael doesn’t know I have the piece.”

“What?”

“He’s trying to rebuild his spaceship,” Alex said quietly, though in the silence of the bunker, his words could’ve echoed off the walls. “If he gets it back, he’ll leave.”

Kyle leaned back in his seat, Alex’s hand still in his lap. “You love him that much?” Alex said nothing. “Alex, if we don’t get you help, who knows what’ll happen. This thing could end up killing you!”

“Would that be so bad?”

Kyle stared. “What?”

Alex shook his head. “I’m so tired. I’ve been fighting for such a long time. Isn’t it time to stop?”

“Don’t talk like that,” Kyle said. “My God, don’t – don’t ever say anything like that again.” He stood. “Look, you don’t want to go to Guerin, we won’t go to Guerin. We’ll find someone else to help. What about Liz?”

“It’s the middle of the night,” Alex reasoned, though he was so lost in his own thoughts, he could hardly hear himself speak. How did things end up so badly? He’d gone from thinking he’d come back to a Roswell without Michael, then to hoping that he could actually be with the man he loved, and now, he could hardly stand the sight of him.

It’s your own fault, he reminded himself. If you hadn’t been such a coward, none of this would’ve happened.

Alex shut his eyes tight, blocking the noise out. He had no right to be upset, not after what he’d done. Not after what his family had done. He was a Manes, whether he wanted to be or not. How could he blame Michael for seeing the same monster in him that he had always seen in himself?

“Alex!” Kyle yelled, and Alex looked up, startled to see that the table, the steel ground beneath it, and the steel walls all had giant cracks running through them like shattered glass.

Alex gasped and stood. “What the hell?”

He touched the crack on the table. It was a spiderweb of sharp, shining crystals, the glass digging into his skin and drawing blood, even as Kyle yanked his hand away, warning him to be careful.

Kyle shook his head, his eyes wide. “I… think that was you.”

Alex frowned. “I – no, I – I don’t have powers.”

And Kyle’s eyes fell to his arm, his colored veins which were visibly throbbing, and said, “Yeah, Manes. You do.”

***

I don’t know if I love this, but I did love certain aspect of it, and I’m really glad I’m able to post it now.

#allhallowsroswell #allhallowsrnm #malex #alex manes #michael guerin #malex fanfic #malex fic #malex fanfiction #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #malex angst #malex fluff #malex halloween #tyler blackburn #michael vlamis #gay #love

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raleigh-ocean · 4 years

Text

i found you (who i thought i'd lost) | rowan ramírez & raleigh ocean

Summary: He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, where all that confidence that he built during years went as they were driving towards the Robichaux’s Academy. But for a second, he closed her eyes and remember the smile his mother gave him in one of those last moments of clarity she had before passing away, and it gave him courage enough to finally find what his ten years old self had been yearning twelve years more: someone that was actually home.

words: 6,531

n/a: They deserve to find each other and rebuild their family, period.

His hands were quick to check again if his vest was well placed, to smooth every wrinkle that could have possible appear in the ride from aunt Abigail's house. He was still getting used to not wear his uniform and more adequate clothes, so he felt strange wearing such outfit.

"You crooked your collar, honey," his aunt's gentle hands went to fix it for him and he felt how the weight on his shoulders eased a bit.

"If you keep being this nervous, I'm afraid you'll pass out as soon as we are in their doorstep," Behold barely pulled down his sunglasses to look at him. "And you'll sweat your new suit."

"Sorry, si...Behold," it was hard to not address the man as usual, but he was getting there. "It's just that...what if she doesn't likes me? What if she thinks I'm a fraud and came to hurt her even more?"

Abigail looked at Behold when the boy, her sweet boy, looked down to his new shoes. All this new apparel only made him look like a child on adult clothes. The other man in the car sighed loudly and put a hand on his thigh, reassuring, like a father about to give his son a good advice. Facing his hand upwards, he waited for the boy to place his there, and when he did it Behold just gathered his magic to give him more strength.

"Then she will miss how good you are, Rowan," it made him smile, trembling a bit, but seeing him like that was better than seeing him reduced to the little boy that Abigail brought to Hawthorne when he was barely twelve. "But taking in count you two exchange emails and she picked you personally among other warlocks to teach, I think she would at least listen to you."

"She still thinks I'm trying to seduce her or something," the three of them laughed at that, because Rowan had told them as much.

The joke made the air in the car to soften, his worries stopping from making his magic move a bit wildly. And from then, the ride kept its calmness till they finally arrived.

It was nice to see their sisters lived in such... beautiful place. He wished for a second for Hawthorne to be like that again, because he had seen its better days before everything went underground for their safety. And maybe, in the future, he could say something to reborn their school in a nicer place. His eyes not only went to both manors, because they could only be called like that, but to the biggest protection enchantment he ever saw. The magic lattice called him, as if it was reclaiming him in some way, and his magic moved slowly towards it as if it was the Hamelin's flautist.

"Everything's gonna be fine, Roro," his aunt managed to pull his focus away from it and it tingled against the skin of his neck something similar to static. It wasn't a sweet sensation, was a dangerous one, full of 'come and see what I have', making the hairs in the back of his neck going up.

"If we manage to come in," Behold had been looking at the same Rowan did, and now was more serious than he saw him since they left Hawthorne. "We can't touch that fence without probably be back in San Francisco on a box or just by the seer force of the magic."

"Why don't you just ring the bell?"

Rowan didn't have time to actually stop her aunt and Behold was too dumbfounded about her being acting so...natural about the whole thing. But when Abigail touched the button, it didn't happen anything but the mere sound of the bell. And it hit him that, even when her aunt knew about magic...she wasn't a witch at all. She had been aware of it because her family had been one of the few that actually came from the witches of Salem, her mother being the last witch before Mallory was born, halting his aunt and his aunt's children generation.

Mallory, his cousin, which he didn't see in person for at least seven years.

They waited for a second, watching closely in case the magic bubble that protected both houses did something, but the only thing that happened was the fence opening for them.

Once they were in the grounds, Rowan started to feel like he shouldn't be there. Not because he regretted his decision to come, but because it felt like his magic didn't belong there and was a frightening experience, as if they place didn't want him at all. Rowan wondered, curious mind as always, if the witches felt the same when they went to Hawthorne. Did his sister felt it? And what about the Supreme?

But it all had to wait in his head, because there was figure waiting in the doorsteps for them.

Rowan recognized her face because he had seen her in Mallory's social media, however her name escaped his thoughts. The red headed woman with the cane - and the dog, a very large dog that was by her side in such protective way that he wondered if the animal would bite them if they tried to put a hand on the woman - arched one eyebrow upon seeing them and when they reached her, she talked with easiness.

"Goode didn't expect you until Friday," there was a bit of confusion in her words, but it didn't made her voice waver.

"Our schedules allowed us to come a day earlier," Behold talked to her in light manner, shaking her hand in a short movement. "How have you been Wilhemina?"

"Sweetheart! So long since we saw each other," his aunt Abigail launched forward and enveloped the woman in her arms, without caring a bit about how uncomfortable the sudden burst made her. "I have to give an earful to that rascal, you and Raleigh have to come more often for tea."

He was paralyzed while the greetings were exchanged, not knowing what to do except exchanging glances with the dog, which seem happy by the way its tail hit rhythmically the porch's floor. The dog got up when Abigail gave it some cuddles in its big head and Behold tried to avoid it because it had drool falling from its mouth, but then it approached him as if it knew him from forever and hit his knees with his big body, trying to get some more cuddles.

"Who's a good boy," he mumbled, scratching its head and receiving a head butt in the right thigh and a low bark. "Yes, you totally are…"

"Sidonia, here," Wilhemina called the dog suddenly and she obeyed gladly without missing a bit. "I'll walk you to the office, Goode is a bit busy this afternoon but I'm sure she'll receive you right away. Kyle, come here and help them, please."

A boy not older than Rowan himself approach them shyly yet surely, reaching for their luggage. For him and Behold, for sure, the boy - Kyle - reeked of magic that wasn't his, as if it was part of him in some way. It creeped him out but decided not to think more about it, only smiling at him politely. It made him more nervous, however, to know that he was following his sister-in-law in order to know his actual sister. He couldn't help himself to look at the way she presented herself and wonder, again like his whole life, that he now knew why his sister didn't care much about any men.

However, all that nervousness melted away when they entered finally the Supreme's office and saw such powerful woman cradling in her arms a baby while a mere toddler was listening to her reading the book the little girl held. A tender scene that was soon broken by them showing up sooner than expected.

"It's good to see miss Day's pregnancy went well," Behold said, a softer smile tugging at his lips while keeping his position after taking off his hat. "A boy this time, perhaps?"

"You really wished, Behold, he would had been hot topic in Hawthorne," Cordelia chuckled softly at that before looking at Wilhemina for a second and then to the little girl. "Sweetie, mom has work to do, I'm sorry."

"Come here, I'll give you all those dinosaur cookies you like and none of your mothers can do anything about it," was the only response the redheaded gave, getting a groan back from one of the little girl's moms and a little chirp from said girl.

But even when the bribe was there to take, the girl stood there by her mom, standing up with the baby in her arms to place her in the auxiliar crib. She looked unsure of what to do for a second and Rowan felt a tug at his heart.

It seemed she didn't want to being separated from her mother...or her baby sister.

"You better go eat them or I'll do," he found himself saying, getting the rest of the adults to look at him and making him blush madly. "I'm getting hungry."

She didn't need more, quickly making her way towards Wilhemina's waiting hand. She gave a little push to Rowan, as if asserting her will to not let him eat her cookies, and pulled a bit rougher than intended to make the woman about to taking care of her to hurry. But it was obvious that Wilhemina had her own pace, so the only thing she got was a light reprimand before both leaving the office, Sidonia walking behind them loyaly.

"I thought you'd arrive on Friday, did something happened?" Cordelia finally asked, after placing a enchantment to cover the crib in a bubble of silence - of course he knew, it was an easy one. "And why is miss Prince here?"

"I think I'll let mister Ramírez here to explain himself, he's actually the one that wanted to have a meeting with you." Behold only took a seat after helping Abigail to do the same, letting Rowan standing there while Cordelia looked at him after putting away whatever her kid left behind. "The only thing I ask you is to listen him till the end."

Okay that literally throw any courage he was building but there wasn't a way back. Cordelia sat then, patiently waiting for him to start talking, but at the same time her face showed her worry because it was obvious she never got called by a teacher just for the sake of it.

Rowan took a couple deep breaths, messing his hair back - why did he decided to let it loose instead of having in a bun like always -, and then he started before it took too long and he bored her to death.

"I called this meeting b-because...because a few months ago, I discovered something that could maybe change a life. It took me long enough to gather every bit of information and not give myself false hopes," he finally put the folder he had been holding all the way from the hall, when he took it out of his backpack, over the desk for Cordelia to see. "And now that I know for sure there's a chance, I wanted to give it a try. That's why my aunt is here," the statement made Cordelia frown and look at Abigail. "She came as a witness and another source of validation in case everything fails."

"Why would you need a witness, mister Ramírez?" asked the Supreme, taking the files in her hands to read them while talking.

"Because I was... I'm afraid she won't believe me, miss Goode," his chest got tight to that and then he decided to let her read everything he had compiled in those pages. "I don't want to hurt her more, I want the best for my...for her in fact, but I promised my mother I would find her and that's what I did once I was old enough for it," he chuckled, closing his eyes and trying to tighten his fists to control himself. "All that I had to do was gather information, in the end, because she came to me not long ago with any of us knowing anything…" Cordelia was now reading, a hand to her lips, and a dark look in her eyes. "I just wanted her to know about me, let her decide what to do with me, but if she decides she doesn't want anything to do with me, I'll just keep living my life without bothering her anymore…it was the last thing my mother wanted. For us to at least find each other."

"How is this even possible?" she mumbled, looking now at him. "The records said she didn't have any other child."

"Because Kaya didn't want your mother to know about him, not after what she did," Abigail talked then, helping his nephew. "She came to me when she was left alone after knowing about him growing in her womb," she sighed a bit louder. "And it's easy to trick those who doesn't look for someone anymore. Myrtle Snow came to see Kaya a few years later and, by that time, she had lost herself in her gift trying not only to find her daughter but because that gift was selfish like that. My mother knew about that fatal flaw, because our families had been close since a really long time ago, and after seeing myself how much grief all this brought to Kaya...well, it was only natural for me to help her. I took Rowan as my great-nephew and sent him away to Hawthorne when the time for him came."

That explanation made Cordelia to rub her forehead, wrapping her head around the situation as fast as she could so she could handle it well enough when the wave came in.

"Didn't you think it would be right to tell her right away when she came back?" there was anger in Cordelia's voice and Rowan couldn't blame her because he felt the same upon knowing his aunt kept in touch with his sister.

"It wasn't the right time yet, not for her, not for him," the feeling that there was something more behind those words grew once again, but he knew his aunt well enough to know she wasn't going to tell anything. "But now it maybe is."

Rowan couldn't help but look at his new shoes, again, with the mighty need of taking them off and throwing them away. He felt uncomfortable, he wanted to get in his other comfy clothes, he wanted to be in his room at Hawthorne fantasizing his half-sister was out there waiting for him to find her...not in front of the Supreme trying to make her see he was telling the truth.

"I don't know how is she gonna react," Cordelia's tone was sincere once she talked again and looked at him pitifully, a strange sorrow clouding her eyes. Rowan felt himself tear up, but held it together. "She's been calmer, yes, but this touch everything she protects fiercely," she stood up again, circling her desk to stand by Rowan and putting both hands in his shoulders. "I don't want to get your hopes high, but I can promise you to be there when you finally tell her."

"That's much better than the fatalism he was bringing all this time," Behold finally spoke up, letting go a deep sigh. "Take it, my boy. It's better than anything."

"When do you want to tell her?" Cordelia asked, leaning in her desk and looking at the warlocks.

"When is her lower time to avoid getting decapitated?" he joked, his body relaxing a bit just because he let some stress out like that. Rowan didn't see how Cordelia's eyes lightened up a bit upon hearing that kind of humour.

"Then dinner time, she always had been one to relax after getting food at night," Abigail took in her hands to bring more peace to the room. "Why don't we go get you some tea, sweetheart? It'll do you some good."

"And maybe afterwards you can watch some afternoon classes? I'm sure it will interest you to see how we proceed here," the Supreme proposed, looking first at Behold and then at Rowan again. "If that's alright with you."

"He isn't a student anymore, mister Ramírez here is his own persona and a teacher, that you appointed after all," the older man went back to his chair, flicking his fingers to open the door. "So go on, enjoy the visit."

Rowan knew right away they were going to talk in private about all of this, he at least knew that much. He didn't need to have the Future's Sight nor any Sight to know stuff, because his perception was different from the others. Behold had told him, once they knew he wasn't going to develop his mother's gift, that that was the only thing left from her legacy in him. A way too keen perception and insight that helped him to overcome the absences in his life.

The trip to the kitchen was uneventful, except for a few witches that looked at him weirded out yet curious, and he ducked his head out of shame and hide behind his too long hair. His aunt only needed to ask one of them if she could show her the kitchen, and there they were, getting help from Kyle to brew some tea. He didn't talk much but seemed happy to have another boy around and Rowan felt the same, exchanging some banal words with him and being patient when his speech became broken at times.

Looking around, he smiled upon seeing how peaceful and clear the place was, sipping on his tea and feeling better while he talked with Kyle about a baseball game. It was one of the only normal things he enjoyed and it was nice to have someone to talk. It wasn't that he had actual friends in Hawthorne, maybe a couple of other boys that were a bit closer, but none really appreciated him after ten years.

"...so, do you want us to go out and have dinner at your favourite restaurant?" a voice sounded suddenly in the kitchen and soon Kyle, Rowan and Abigail saw two girls holding hands and laughing together, one of them a bit taller than the other but not filling the space as the shorter one did. "I just want to have some time alo-"

"Mallory?"

Rowan felt himself warm with the mention of that name and his aunt was soon wrapping her arms around her granddaughter. He also felt how Kyle stood up and the other witch looked their way for a second too long, making the other guy in the room to go away with a mere wave of his hand for him as a farewell. His cousin didn't look at him yet but he prepared himself, standing up and fixing his clothes again to look presentable.

"You're a warlock," the unnamed girl was direct and he turned around to look directly at her. Mallory and Abigail turned to look at them too. "You weren't supposed to arrive o-"

"On Friday, yes, but we dec-"

"Roro?"

A weird satisfaction washed over him when the witch's face got pale because Mallory recognized him and the only thing that he could do was to pick up his cousin in his arms, hugging her like no tomorrow. It was easy to do it, because he was strong enough to give her a good bear hug, one of those they used to share when they were young. He didn't need someone to be hostile right now, he needed someone to reconfort him and him strength.

Rowan knew his cousin was a witch because she had been the one telling him, straightforward as she was, and he finally told her the same after years of being tired of the 'being at a boarding school' white lie.

When they broke the tight embrace, Mallory smiled at him with the might of the sun and took the other witch's hand in hers. She eased at that and prepared herself to whatever Mallory was going to say.

"Zoe, this is my cousin, Rowan Ramírez," Mallory chirped and seeing her this happy, made him feel much better. "Rowan, this is...this is my girlfriend, Zoe Benson."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," he said, politely, while shaking hands with Zoe, which seem as lost as ever there. "Sorry for being rude, it's been a long day already and it isn't lunch yet."

However, the meeting was cut short when the back door in the kitchen opened, followed by child laughter and a few barks, along with heavy steps.

"Auntie, more cookies!"

"More cookies? You ate my last package, I'm sure your mother is gonna kill me if I give you more sugar," Rowan's eyes went first to the adult that was holding the Supreme's daughter in her arms as she weighed nothing, which probably was like that.

"More!" another chirp and the girl lifted her arms, almost taking down the woman's glasses.

"Auntie Mina and I need to have a conversation later about getting back to your mother by spoiling you," she sighed and then Sidonia barked again, seeing so many people in the kitchen but going towards Rowan at full speed and placing her big paws on his stomach. "What's going on here?"

Rowan couldn't gather any words upon seeing Raleigh in such quotidian setting. It made him feel bad for trying to meddle in the calm life his sister was living in the moment. The worst thing about all of this was discovering his sister and him were pretty much alike, now that he was seeing her out of those fucking professional clothes and just wearing comfy sweatpants and a giant hoodie matching her crocks. It scared him, more than when they met, her scar now that she wasn't wearing makeup drifting the attention from it but at the same time it brought a weird peace to him seeing her being that gentle with the little girl, who was trying to escape her arms to go with Zoe and Mallory.

He didn't heard half of the things said after that, barely letting himself be dragged and giving automatic responses to whatever was asked to him. Raleigh was quite content to see him, trying to calm the dog down so she didn't make him end up in his ass because she was strong. And he wasn’t that strong to not indulge in the way things still were.

Not only Raleigh but Mallory helped him through the afternoon, showing him all that Cordelia wanted once the private meeting between her and Behold finished it. He wrote down some new stuff he was sure would help him in his lessons, but also laugh and clapped when some of the other witches did something well. During those hours Rowan also learnt some more things about the life in the Academy: they usually made bets about things that could happen around the house, how Mallory and Zoe ended up together, how sometimes they made matches between the members of both houses for fun, how they gather a Friday a month to have movie night all of them and also how the teachers were the ones with more ongoing arguments over the silliest things.

It made him want the same good feeling in Hawthorne, even when Rowan knew they probably had some of the same dynamics between them, because after all everyone wanted to be better than their fellow classmates.

When the staff gathered for dinner, only them few, after everyone had their dinner, Rowan felt uneasy.

He sat at Behold’s left side and Mallory, invited that night only, right by him. Across from Rowan, Raleigh took seat along with Wilhemina and their aunt Abigail - their, because Raleigh also called her like that. Some people that was missing when they arrived got there in time for the food like Cordelia’s wife, Misty, and Queenie and Madison, the last one giving him a long stare before taking a seat in the other side of the table. Everyone was polite and talked as if they were part of the group, and it felt nice to be around people like that.

However when coffee arrived, Rowan knew he couldn’t wait anymore to get the big secret out of him. He looked to the Supreme for a second and she caught his intentions right away. Should he say it there, in front of everyone? At least his sister would have her people around her in case everything went terribly wrong. The family she found ready to take action and cover her in their warm arms.

“Miss Ocean, I have something to tell you,” he started to say, his hands twisting under the table because he was still sitting.

“What is it buddy?” she managed to say before getting another spoonful of chocolate ice cream, making Wilhemina to lift one eyebrow again because of her manners. “Are you gonna tell me you don’t want to be teacher anymore or something?”

He was glad she made a joke at least, because it eased his heavy heart.

“No, not at all, I’m still pretty much thankful that you gave me this opportunity,” his voice trembled a bit, but Rowan covered that with a little laugh. “It’s the true motive behind our visit, why we really are here,” his eyes went to his aunt Abigail and then Raleigh did the same for a second before placing her focus on him. “Not long ago, I discovered that…well, is difficult now to put it in words.”

“Take it easy, none is rushing you,” her voice was serene yet he knew, deep in his own soul, that she was somehow being careful.

“I’m...I’m your brother,” Rowan let it out in such strangled voice that he doubt he was heard at all, but his sister's face went incredibly pale. "It's difficult to explain, but I had done research...and my aunt here helped me. We...well, our mother asked me to find you b-but...I was really young and I didn't know what to do, and now everything-"

"Is this a joke?" her voice was so serious that it creeped him out, but his sister was now looking at their aunt. "What the fuck is this all about?"

"It's true Raleigh," Abigail said holding her stare without problem, not being troubled by how her features grew angrier each second that passed. "Kaya had him a couple years after you were gone, I not only took care of your mother till her very end but I also helped to raise him. That's why I'm here, to tell you finally the truth."

Everyone in the room was silent, almost scared to say something.

Rowan couldn't blame them at all, because all of this was nuts. It was absurd, because this kind of things only happened in movies and they were very much in the real life, even living in a world of witches and warlocks. Cordelia was getting an inquisitive look from her own wife and Behold was looking between them, his magic ready to react in case things got violent. Raleigh stood up and Wilhemina took her by the arm, fast as if she was also waiting for her to react, and muttered something to her before his sister made her lose her grip on her arm in such gentle way that made him wonder if she was angry at all.

"I was in your home, seven years ago, and you only told me she was gone long gone, lost in her Sight," Raleigh's voice trembled while turning around to look at Abigail, as if Rowan wasn't there. "And you decided to hide something like this from me?"

"You barely could take care of yourself back then, what would you have done?" Abigail didn't move from her seat but Rowan did, standing up.

It wasn't funny to suddenly feel such strong magic all over the room. He felt out of air and everyone except the only 'mortal' there as well, except maybe the Supreme that seemed to at least know things weren't going well. Rowan coughed but tried to push his own power to deflect it from the rest while Cordelia moved her own magic to gather it around the woman as a shield.

"Look, I don't want to impose on you," he managed to croak, fighting the urge to withdraw his magic because it was starting to burn in his magic conducts. "I will go away if you want it, out of your hair before you noticed, but I only wanted to at least know what my mother thought long lost was finally found."

His words did something to the woman, because suddenly the room was empty of magic again. A long deep breath from everyone sounded, recovering at their own pace, but none of them was fast enough to catch her this time. Raleigh stormed out of room and both Cordelia and Wilhemina were the first ones to react. However Rowan was the one following her, gabbling that he got this and he was going to fix it. Probably the last persona on the house she wanted to see, but he was the one putting this situation over her and he wanted to at least make it right.

It was easy to find her, mostly because the only thing she did was making a beeline towards the front door and then to the outside. Rowan took off his vest and his shows before following her, crossing the front yard and soon going out of the parcel to cross the street, where his sister was sitting in the edge of the sidewalk.

If she noticed him, she didn't show it, but Raleigh didn't stop him from sitting by her side. They shared the silence that the night gave them, looking at the enormous house in front of them. For Rowan it wasn't a weird silence, it was very familiar in fact, because he was used to his mother being wrapped in that wondering silence that he always knew was going to break once his mother told him something fun.

Other times she started to cry, expressionless, and mumbling names long gone.

And other times she just started to sing.

He could barely talk in spanish, but there was a song that he learnt by heart just from listening to his mother singing it. Rowan didn't know why, but it felt right to start singing it for his sister, maybe lacking the sentiment because he didn't have such sorrow rooted in him, and demonstrate her that it wasn't a joke. Did their mother sing it for her too when she was little? Did their mother joked around her as she used to do around him, even when she was really sick?

All those questions his inner child wondered for years arose in his mind while singing, but he felt that soon they would be buried forever in order to not hurting anymore.

Nevertheless, when he knew the song was about to end, his sister's voice started to reprise it. And the sadness, the grief long buried, the yearning, the love behind those words...everything her mother sang it with, came alive again in that calm street in New Orleans.

Rowan started to cry then, his chest hurting and his heart squeezed against his sternum, listening to the voice of the only person on Earth that was blood related to him. He cried as if he was again in his mother's funeral, he cried as that first night away from the only home he knew for twelve years, he cried with all those feelings he buried for so long to control his powers...that now where bringing rainclouds over them, starting to cry along with him while Raleigh doubled the last part of the song. And while he cried, there was a hand on his thigh, a reassuring hand that seemed to not want to leave.

By the time Raleigh stopped from singing, the rain already drenched them to the bones. Rowan was still sobbing, but he was calming down little by little in between hiccups. He recognised his sister's magic reaching for him, now warm and not asphyxiating, and he let her envelop him in it because he very much needed it. They still didn't say a word, until he managed to mumble what his heart wanted to hear.

"What would you have done if you knew about me seven years ago?"

He felt an arm over his shoulders, hugging him and making him lean his head in Raleigh's welcoming shoulder. It was comforting in an awkward way, but he didn't want it any other way.

"I would have done the same I did, that I can't lie," she was sincere, not taking her eyes off from the house. "But, at least, once everything was done I would've gone to get you out of that fucking dungeon," Raleigh laughed openly, making him giggle. "I've been in the darkness all my life, the last thing I'd have wanted is for you to live like that too."

"It's not that bad, actually, we have a really nice library," Rowan retorted, pressing his wet sleeve to his runny nose. "And it's always chilly, even in summer."

"Fucking Hell, both things I don't have here," Raleigh sounded annoyed, in a light-hearted way, and that was like a wave of relief.

Rowan didn't want that moment to end, afraid that even when they were talking like that his sister decided not to talk to him further.

"I have a lot of papers if you want to check them, to see this is not a joke," he didn't broke the contact, but couldn't help but inform her about it. "I wrote down everything aunt Abigail hid, along with things mom said and some other magic related things and-"

"I don't need that, because I do believe in you," his heart grew three sizes upon hearing those words, more tears in his eyes. "I hadn't heard that song since I was seventeen, not even now that I'm capable of doing so just by tapping something in my phone...but you singing it like that, with the same up and downs mama did...it was enough for me."

"You were the one singing it like her, I don't even know spanish to singing it well," Rowan chuckled that and it made Raleigh to chuckle as well.

"Yeah, that much I heard, we have to put a remedy to that, sweet baby Jesus," rain was still falling over them, but now it was lighter, and Raleigh held him closer to her body. "Can I ask you something, Rowan?" and Rowan only hummed in response, his sleeve again against his nose. "Was she happy before…?"

Even unspoken, he knew about what his sister was referring to. The memory came back to his mind and Rowan closed his eyes, letting the goodness of it all to come to him again. He had come home like every other day from school, but that day his aunt wasn't the one welcoming him with open arms. Kaya was there at the door, her too long hair fixed it in a braid and her lean body covered with a dress full of flowers, and her expression was so clear and lucid that her smile was able to make Rowan smile even harder. With some difficulties, she listened to his entire day while eating and they spent the afternoon watching television, Kaya holding him close to her and kissing the crown of his head every now and then. She laughed openly when Rowan had told her a story - that one thing foggy in his mind - and she told him in response about making a picnic the two of them in the backyard, so she could teach him more stories.

When the night came, his mother helped him to get ready for bed and said how much she loved him, tucking him while the shadow of her gift was trying to get her back as a selfish lover. He grew to recognize that detail, how it started to darken the rim of her eyes every time the magic was about to take her back.

But she seemed to fight against it for once, looking at him with eyes full of love and that smile she only gave him.

By next morning she was gone, but her smile was still there nonetheless.

"I like to think she passed like that, peacefully and not sad," he whispered and Raleigh sighed so deep that he could believe he heard it form in her lungs. "Aunt Abigail and I tried to make her as happy as we could."

The rain started to stop pouring over them and, as they looked at the big house Rowan could feel his sister's brain moving with million thoughts once again. She finally moved, standing up, and offered her hand to help him up to his feet. Rowan took it gladly and once he was by her side, it made him chuckle discovering they were almost of similar height but she was still beating him for a few centimetres for sure.

The main door of the house opened to reveal a worried Wilhemina, leaning on her cane, and Sidonia again by her side. Rowan didn't move because Raleigh didn't either, so they waited a few seconds more in the street, both sharing a silence they seemed to enjoy.

"I can't promise you everything will be peachy from now on," Raleigh said that in a tone Rowan didn't expect his sister to have, taking in count how big and heavy was her presence. "I still have much to learn, to unlearn, to fix and to break...but I can promise you somewhere to call home again, even if I don't know yet where is that place suppose to be."

Rowan finally saw that his sister was a sad person, but in such sadness she seemed to hide a noble heart. Many would have abandoned him in the same situation, quickly forgetting he ever existed, but Raleigh didn't. She was sincere when she said that last statement, she gave him an answer to the only question he never asked.

Would you let me in?

And for that, he was thankful and relieved. He chuckled at that, gaining an amused look from Raleigh and then they started to walk towards the Academy as if they didn't ran away at all and they were just coming back from getting something in the store.

"I'm good with that if that means you let me take a hot shower somewhere," the joke fell from his lips, easing the seriousness of the moment and showing his attitude was pretty much similar to his sister's. "Then we can keep talking about everything, if you want."

"I would love to for sure, just let's see first if Mina doesn't cut my head because I was a fucking asshole in there."

#original character & original character #american horror story #ahs coven #ahs cult #raleigh ocean #rowan ramírez

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lizacstuff · 5 years

Text

Roswell NM FanFic: Swooping Hearts (Max/Liz)

Description: Liz does some soul-searching about her feelings for Max, and Max confronts the truth, each at the prompting of a friend. Canon compliant, takes place in the 6 weeks between Barely Breathing (1x08) and Songs of Texas (1x09). Echo.

Note: I bought that Liz was ready to move forward with Max in Songs of Texas (1x09) but here are a couple of “missing scenes,” conversations with Kyle and Michael, that might have taken place during the 6 weeks prior to help get the characters were they were at the beginning of that episode.

Read on AO3

Max felt a rush of nervous energy as he wound his way through the hospital on the way to the lab. That feeling was nothing new when he was anticipating seeing Liz, but he was pleased to perceive no light flickers in his path. Maybe his control was getting better. Once he was outside the lab door, he paused before entering. Day by day, week by week, things had gotten progressively better between him and Liz. It had been four weeks since Isobel had entered the pod and these days when Liz looked at him it wasn’t with suspicion or anger, no these days it seemed she mostly felt a sort of awkward sympathy towards him. Which was a step up, but not exactly ideal. He knew he didn’t deserve ideal, he also knew they didn’t deserve the amount of work she was putting in to cure Isobel. What she was doing, how hard she was working to help people who had hurt her... it was just another thing about Liz Ortecho that awed him.

However, to be fair, pretty much everything about Liz Ortecho awed him.

When Max finally did push open the door of the lab, neither Michael nor Liz stirred from their work, each was too engrossed in their respective tasks. He cleared his throat.

The sound startled Liz, and she looked up quickly, searching for the source. When her eyes found Max, she felt a familiar sensation. If she’d been asked to explain the sensation, she’d have said it was as if her heart dropped into her stomach and then did a full somersault before swooping back into place. It was something that occurred most times when she saw him and it was disconcerting to say the least. Especially because of the cage she had proudly built around said heart. The walls of that cage were supposed to protect against this type of thing.

Since he’d come back to town, the ‘swoop’ had been accompanied by a variety of emotions, affection, lust, terror, anger, suspicion, regret, empathy and sympathy to name a few. She’d felt more, more emotions, more of everything, since returning to Roswell than she probably had for the entirety of the last ten years combined. Against her will, the walls had slowly started to come down; it was a lot to handle.

Their gazes locked for a moment. These days there was such a sadness to his eyes and seeing it there now, she felt a tightening in her gut, as if something had ratcheted up the pressure on her one more notch. She had to find a cure, and soon.

Finally, Michael interrupted the silence. “Max, what’re you doing here?”

“Uh...” What was he doing here? Looking at Liz sometimes had the effect of making him lose his train of thought. He shook his head as if trying to jog himself back into reality. Food. Right, that’s why he was there. He raised up his arm and revealed two take-out bags. “Dinner. I stopped by the Crashdown, I thought you two could use some sustenance.”

“Yes,” Michael said gratefully, and then held up his hand. One of the bags flew directly from Max’s hand toward his own.

Just then, the door opened again and Kyle strode into the lab as the bag hit Michael’s hand. He surveyed the group and said with forced joviality, “It’s a party in here.”

Michael rolled his eyes as he came over to stand next to Max as if lining up against the other man. He replied sardonically, “It was a party, then you showed up.”

Kyle looked a little taken aback at the open animosity. Over the last month when he’d interacted with Max, they’d been cordial. Max was grateful for his help, Michael not so much and Kyle could not figure out why. His best guess was that Michael had aligned himself with Max over the so-called love triangle that involved Max, Liz and himself. However, since it had been well over a month since he’d had anything to do with Liz romantically and since Max didn’t appear to be holding a grudge, that didn’t quite seem to explain it. “Good evening to you, too, Guerin.”

Michael ignored him and looked to Max. “I need to go collect another sample. You wanna give me a ride and...” he gestured with the bag of food, “I’ll eat on the way?”

“Sure,” Max said, carefully keeping any disappointment he felt out of his voice. It’s not that he’d planned to stay long, but he would have liked to, at least, have a chance to talk to Liz, even if just for a minute. Instead, he caught Liz’s eye once more and held up the take-out bag to indicate it was hers, before resting it on a nearby desk.

Liz watched him turn to leave, feeling oddly bereft. She hadn’t seen much of him since they’d started working in earnest on a cure for Isobel. He’d stop by occasionally to bring pizza or burritos or check on their progress, but he never stayed more than a few minutes. Despite the number of times she’d told herself that distance from him was best, and how disconcerting she found the heart ‘swoop’ when she did see him, she found herself wishing he would stay. When he was almost out the door she called, “Bye Max. Thanks for dinner.”

Max looked back with a half-smile and waved before the door whooshed close behind him.

“Did I interrupt something?” Kyle asked as he came over to Liz’s workspace.

Liz shook her head in answer, looked down at her notebook where she’d been keeping records and then slammed down her safety goggles. “Maldita sea!” she muttered angrily.

Startled, Kyle asked, “What’s wrong?”

Liz let out a long and frustrated sigh. “Another failure, I’m never going to get this.”

Kyle studied her a second and then moved so he was standing right next to her. “You know, Liz, you don’t have to do this. You’re killing yourself trying to find a cure for-” Kyle stopped himself, he’d been about to say ‘our sister,’ he mentally course-corrected and continued, “your sister’s murderer. It’s not worth you making yourself crazy or running yourself into the ground.”

Once again, she shook her head dismissively, but didn’t meet his eye as she said, “I’m not.”

“You are,” Kyle insisted. “You do your regular lab work during the day and then you stay all night working for the aliens.”

“I’m not working for them.” Liz replied a bit defensively. She hopped off her stool, walked over to the desk and picked up the take-out bag Max had left. It was the least he could do, but the gesture still warmed her heart. She reached in to the familiar bag, pulled out a salad and smiled. From the tag, she could tell it was a Solar System Shrimp Salad, special ordered with edamame instead of croutons, and Intergalactic Vinaigrette instead of the Mars Rover Honey Mustard that usually came with it.

She wondered if Max knew her exact order from the one other time he’d gotten take out from the Crashdown for them, or if he’d relied on her father’s expertise. Then she remembered her dad was off tonight. It was all Max.

As Liz prepared to eat, Kyle looked around the lab appraisingly. “Seriously, you’re eating dinner at 8pm at work. You should go home and get some rest. You can come back tomorrow.”

Liz speared a shrimp with her fork and then looked at him. “You don’t understand.”

Kyle frowned with resignation and then slumped down in a chair a few feet away from her. “I think I do. It’s Evans.”

xXx

“You know,” said Max as he climbed into the driver’s side of his jeep, “You should be a little nicer to Kyle. He’s one of two humans who know our secret and he’s helping with Isobel.”

“I hate that guy,” Michael muttered as he settled himself in the passenger seat.

Max glanced over him as he pulled out of the parking spot and then realization dawned. “A-ha!” Kyle had generally been a bully in high school, but Max suddenly remembered who his favorite target had been.

Before Max could elaborate on that revelation, Michael hurriedly said, “Despite him knowing we’re not human, I don’t know why you’re so friendly towards him; he’d like nothing better than to marry Liz and take her off to some suburban track house and have 2.5 kids and a dog.”

Max grimaced with revulsion, he couldn’t help but picture it and it sent a frisson of anger through him. The overhead light blinked on and off, and then sparks flew from it before it extinguished.

“So I take it you don’t like that idea.” Michael emphasized the word ‘don’t’ with a rough laugh.

The other man swallowed the very large lump that had taken up residence in his throat, when he spoke his voice took on an even more gravely quality than usual. “It’s none of my business. I want Liz to be happy, and I know it’s not going to be with me.”

Michael shook his head but smiled. “Max Evans, always the martyr.”

“I’m not being a martyr,” Max shot back roughly.

“What would you call it then?”

Max was silent for several long moments before he let out a long sigh and said, “Respecting her wishes. She told me we weren’t meant to be together.”

“Really?” Michael asked with genuine surprise. Of the two of them, currently he was the one spending a lot more time with Liz and that admission surprised him. Not that Michael and Liz had bared their souls to one another, they hadn’t, but whenever Max came around or was mentioned in conversation it seemed to him that something ‘sparked’ in her. Not the way Max literally sparked over her, but something in her eyes and general demeanor. He had sort of assumed that they would find their way to one another once this crisis with Isobel was over. Just like Michael hoped that he would find his way back to a certain someone, if he only found the right opportunity.

Max kept his eyes on the road, but nodded with resignation. “She told me the day we put Isobel in the pod. Those exact words, ‘you and I weren’t meant to be together.’” Max recited the words that had played in his mind a hundred times over the last month, each one a gut punch. He shook his head as if to clear it before adding, “Not that I blame her. In her shoes, I don’t think I could get over what we did.”

Michael let that sink in and the two rode in silence as Michael ate his burger. Maybe it was true; maybe they weren’t meant to be together, and maybe it was bigger than Max and Liz. Maybe humans and aliens just didn’t mix. Maybe none of them was meant to be with a human. That thought left him with a pit in his stomach and he was unable to eat the last bit of burger. He balled up the greasy paper and shoved it back in the bag.

However, all things considered, he had to admit that Liz had taken the news about aliens very well. Kyle too. They knew the secret, and were still helping to cure Isobel. Plus they hadn’t turned them in to any secret government alien-hunting organizations. Yet. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if certain humans found out about them, if a certain human found out about him. If Liz could work so hard to save one of them, after what they’d done, then... Michael’s train of thought stopped cold and it dawned on him: Max didn’t know.

There was something very important that Max didn’t understand at all.

He shifted in his seat to face him, “You know why she’s working so hard to cure Isobel, don’t you?”

“What?” Max’s mind had clearly wandered in the few minutes of silence. Then he seemed to remember the thread of the conversation. “Oh, well, that’s because she’s a good person, infinitely better than any of us.” His voice held quiet conviction.

“Well, I won’t argue with you there.” Michael acknowledged the truth of the statement. “You’re right, Liz Ortecho is a good person, but that’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean?”

Michael blew out a breath in disbelief; Max could be so smart, but so thick at the same time. “She’s doing it for you.”

Max felt his heart lift at the words. He glanced over at Michael who was watching him. Michael nodded at him with a knowing expression, as if to reinforce what he’d just said.

Then reality settled in. “No,” Max replied decisively before continuing, “That’s a nice thought, but Liz is decent. She would help find a cure no matter what.”

Michael tipped his head to the side as if acknowledging the truth of that, but Max didn’t see it because his eyes were on the road. “Probably, but she wouldn’t be working late every night, last week she practically slept in the lab in order to keep her eye on one of the trials. That, Max, she’s doing for you.”

Max shook his head. It’s not that he didn’t want to believe it, he did, but it just didn’t line-up with what he knew. What he knew was that he’d been involved in the thing that had hurt Liz most. He couldn't forgive himself, there was no way he could expect her to forgive him.

Undeterred by Max’s skepticism, Michael continued, “When Isobel injected herself with the poison, Liz was overwhelmed, she was feeling guilty, she couldn’t pull it together and figure out what to do, do you know what she needed?”

Max’s eyes didn’t leave the road, he also didn’t breathe, he just gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

“She needed motivation, she needed to stop thinking about finding a cure for her sister’s murderer, and she needed to start thinking about finding a cure for YOUR sister. Bringing you in to the equation is what allowed her to focus and start work on a solution and now that is where her single-minded dedication and determination is coming from. You. She cares about you.”

Max glanced over at him, as if he wanted to check his sincerity.

“It’s true, Max,” Michael reassured. “When we’re working and we hit a road block, you’re the reason she doesn’t give up and finds a way around it. When we hit a dead end, you’re the reason she finds another path and when we discover the well is dry, you’re the reason she digs a new one and keeps going.”

Max was stunned. He really had been chalking up her help entirely to her character, plus a little guilt and a lot of scientific curiosity. The fact that he might also be a factor floored him. “Really?” his voice held equal parts skepticism and wonder.

Michael just laughed. “Open your eyes, Max. If you were a little more observant you’ll see the truth of what I’m saying.”

Max let that sit for a beat; Liz cared about him. Even if it wasn’t enough and she never fully forgave him, it was something. He allowed himself to feel a moment of lightness, he’d experienced so few since Isobel had gone into the pod... then he glanced over at Michael and smirked. “How about this for observant, I know you don’t like Kyle because he was an ass to Alex Manes in high school.”

“How did...” Michael’s voice trailed off.

Max answered with a teasing tone to his voice, “I was the one standing next to you on prom night, remember?”

Michael was silent for a minute as he let that sink in. “Yeah,” Michael’s mouth finally curved into a half-smile and then he turned to, lightly, punch his alien brother on the arm. It was nice to be back on good terms with Max, more than nice, he’d missed him. “You were.”

xXx

After Kyle dropped Max’s name, Liz didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to, the truth of what he said was written clear across her face. Liz transferred her attention back to her salad and took a bite.

“Soooo...” Kyle studied her intently. “You’re just completely over him lying to you and covering up Rosa’s murder for ten years?”

“I didn’t say I was over it,” Liz said defiantly.

“Why are you killing yourself then? Look, I’m not saying you should give up or stop searching for a cure, but you don’t need to spend every waking minute on it.”

“You don’t understand,” she repeated and then put down her fork and met his gaze. “I can’t... I can’t live with him in this kind of pain. I have to fix it.”

“His pain?” Kyle said incredulously.

“Kyle...”

“No seriously, Liz. You’re worried about his pain? After what he did to you, what he did to Rosa?”

Liz looked to the ceiling and blinked hard several times, trying to stem the heat she felt building behind her eyes. She took a deep breath before transferring her focus back to her dinner.

“How can you even think of forgiving him?” Kyle asked. However, as he watched the emotions play across her face realization slowly dawned. “Good god, Liz, you’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

His words hit her like bullets, and Liz felt an overwhelming urge to run. To jump out of her chair without a word and take off down the hall; away from this room, away from Kyle’s questions, away from truth. She did not want to have this conversation. However, she didn’t run, instead she transferred her gaze back to her salad, the salad Max had brought for her and found a chunk of tomato with her fork.

She managed to say, “That’s ridiculous,” before taking a bite of salad. Kyle couldn’t see the ‘swoop’ her heart did, out of its cage, every time she saw Max, could he?

“It’s not, though, is it?”

“I barely know him,” Liz lied, cutting him off before he could say more. The truth was that she did know Max, faults and all, but she feared that he didn’t really know her. She was a hot mess, an imposter going through life with a professional façade, an air of togetherness that she didn’t feel. The façade designed so that no one could see through it, not her father, not her boss, not Kyle or Alex or Maria, and certainly not the man who... well, the man in question. The man in question had her on a pedestal, it was one of the many reasons it would never work between them, no matter how they thought they felt about one another.

Kyle watched the play of emotions cross her face and realized it was worse than he’d thought. “Listen, it’s obvious you’re... conflicted, but his pain is not your problem. I get that he’s cut up about his sister but-”

“It is my problem,” Liz replied softly. “I caused it. Max and Isobel share a psychic bond, apparently have their whole lives, now it’s gone, sort of. I made the thing that did that and now Max is... alone, really alone for the first time and I can’t stand it. I can’t stand that I’m the one who did that to him.”

Liz shivered, despite her sweater and lab coat. She felt exposed at the admissions she’d made. She hadn’t even admitted to herself why she was working so hard. It’s as if she’d had a tacit agreement with her psyche not to think too deeply about it, but now, thanks to Kyle, all of it was coming out.

Kyle let a few moments of silence pass, and when he finally spoke, his voice held both kindness and the very real concern he felt over Liz becoming so obviously attached to an... alien. “Look, Liz, I don’t want to upset you, but I also don’t want you to get hurt. It’s... it’s just important to remember that we know so little about them.”

“I know.” Liz said the heat returning to her voice as she dropped her fork and finally met Kyle’s gaze. “You think I don’t know that?” Now she stood, abandoning her salad, and started pacing around the room. “You think I don’t know that it’s crazy... that this whole thing is crazy? I know it’s crazy, Kyle.” She shoved one hand into her hair and then grabbed a fistful of it in frustration. “I’m here at ground zero of this whole situation, using my job as a scientist and my access to a lab to research alien antidotes. Its nuts. And, yes, it’s a little overwhelming to find out that a boy I grew up with, that I’ve known for 20 years, someone I almost ran away with after high school is an alien. And it’s even more overwhelming to find out that his sister murdered-”

Kyle had been listening, but he couldn’t stop himself from interrupting. He asked incredulously, “Wait... you almost ran away with him after high school?”

Liz who was breathless after her rant, shot him an awkward look that was tinged with pity, but she didn’t pull punches. “Yes. I feel like... I forgot that. Or it was fuzzy for years, but since I got back to town it’s been slowly coming back to me and now the memory is clear as day. I remember how I felt, how happy I was. We made plans; he was going to go on the road trip with me. We were going to kiss at the ocean... and the Grand Canyon.” Her voice was wistful as she said it.

Kyle grunted at the idea of his high school girlfriend taking off with the likes of Max Evans only weeks after they broke up. However, he was an adult now, time had passed, so he put his ego away and mustered as much objectivity as he could. “That’s all well and good, I guess, but it doesn’t change what they did, what he did.”

“I know.” Liz said, shaking her head. “You don’t think I know that? You don’t think I’m conflicted about this? All of this?” She gestured to the lab at large and then sat back down as if deflated. “But if I’ve learned anything the last few weeks, studying his biology, studying them, I know exactly what it would mean for certain people I’ve run across in the scientific community to get their hands on what we’re doing. Max is not wrong when he tells me they are all alone here. They are alone. If people knew they existed, their lives would be over. When it all happened they were teenagers, they were terrified; they had no one who could help. Isobel has no memory of it... and I do truly believe Max had no idea what the consequences of his actions that night would be for me and my family.”

Kyle grimaced. “So, it’s okay that he lied to you?”

“No,” Liz said sharply as she felt the stab of pain in her gut when she remembered the betrayal she’d felt when he’d done his best to throw sand in her eyes. “That’s actually harder to forgive. I wanted to trust him, with everything I had I wanted to trust him, and it turns out I was right not to, he was lying.”

“But you’re still doing this.”

Liz shrugged helpless and searched for an answer. Why was she doing this? “You might find it hard to believe, and maybe I’m a fool, but deep down I believe he’s...” What? What did Liz believe about Max Evans? Then it all suddenly made sense, why she was doing this, who he was as a person, deep-down. “I believe he’s good.”

The revelation shook her, but in her gut, she knew it was true. Max Evans was good, maybe his actions hadn’t always been, when he’d acted out of terror and desperation, but just as she knew in her bones she was safe with him, she knew at his core, he was good. She could feel it.

She stood again, time to get back to work. “And he’s in pain so I need to get back to work. Michael will be back soon with the sample and I need to prep for it.”

Kyle waited a beat, and then when it became clear the conversation was over he stood and said, “Well then I’ll leave you to it.”

At that, Liz looked up and then called, “Wait, Kyle.” He paused in the doorway and looked back to her. At almost any point in the last decade, having such an emotionally open conversation would have exhausted Liz, if she’d even stuck around for it, but now she felt better. Unburdened, focused and most surprising she felt clearer on her complicated feelings for Max and the entire situation. “Thanks, uh, I think that helped.”

He nodded once in acknowledgement and then left the room as Liz, more determined than ever, set about finding a cure for Isobel, and a way to stop Max’s pain.

The End.

#Roswell new mexico #rnm echo #echo #max evans #liz ortecho #roswell nm fanfic #roswell nm #echo fanfic #max x liz #liz x max #my fic #michael guerin #kyle valenti

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uas-fics · 5 years

Text

Check Chapter 1 for all the content warnings and ships

The Paramour Offer, chapter 2

~~~~~~

The villagers were especially nice the next morning, layering on the compliments and pleasantries to make up for the past day's transgressions. Even the surly teen came up to the queen to quietly apologize, which Kenny graciously accepted, impressively hiding all the bitterness in her voice. After one last glance over by the healer, the two bid their goodbyes, with Kenny promising to bring up the issues of bugbears to Eric when she returned to Kupa Keep.

Stan purposely avoided being alone with Kenny until they rode out of the village.

The queen trotted her horse beside Stan's. He tried to steer his month away, but she persisted, following until Stan found himself stuck between her and the treeline.

"About what happened..." She chewed her lip when she finally had Stan pinned.

"Nothing happened." Stan didn't look at her.

The queen sighed. "Stan, I..." She shook her head. "Just know, my offer remains open to you."

They didn't talk again until they came to Kupa Keep. Outside the city, the king's paladin met them to escort them to the court. Kenny greeted him warmly, hugging Sir Leopold longer than Stan thought she ought to, or maybe he was just imagining things. After last night, Stan couldn't help but be scrupulous about all of her interactions.

When they arrived at the castle, both kings were there to greet them. Kenny slid off her horse and made a beeline to throw her arms around Kyle's shoulders, pressing herself against his side and cooing at him about how much she missed him and how hard being apart from him was for her.

Lair, Stan thought as he dismounted.

The Wizard King gagged. "Kenny, can you stop hanging from him like a slutty shawl?"

Kyle wrapped his arm around her waist with a glare. "I'll ask you don't call my wife such things." He kissed her on the mouth, and Stan felt his stomach twist.

This couldn't all be an act. No, Kyle had to love Kenny and her alone. He was her husband!

"How about I call your guard a chew toy instead? Your crow’s letter said something about a bugbear?" The Wizard King gestured to Stan.

Stan had been keeping most of his weight off his bad leg. It was healed well enough but still hurt just a little. When the Wizard King acknowledged him, he purposely distributed his weight evenly across both legs, hiding a wince.

"Stan was very brave!" Kenny snapped. "He wouldn't have gotten hurt if someone had kept a better eye on the bugbear population of the forest. You have to send a party out to either talk with the most powerful bugbear so it can keep it's ilk inline or go clear the forest of them. Don't you remember your own job without me here, Eric?"

The Wizard King rolled his eyes. "Backless than an hour and you're jumping down my throat, like always." He waved a hand at Kyle. "You two really are perfect for each other. A perfect pain in my ass."

Kyle smirked, holding her tighter to his side. Stan wanted to throw up, both from the dull pain in his leg and from the fake shows of affection. Was this why they were together still? To spite The Wizard King?

"But not as perfect as Craig and Tweek. Where are they? I need to hear the whole story of how they got together! Who asked whom and how it happened and..." She went on, stepping away from Kyle to follow the Wizard King towards the castle door. As per normal with the Human royalty, the insults were soon forgotten, or at least stored away for later revenge fodder, and the two were chatting like good friends.

Kyle waited a moment so he could talk beside Stan instead of following his wife.

"So, a bugbear? How'd that go?"

"Given I'm going to have a scar on my leg from rudimentary healing magic? Could have been better." Stan replied, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Do you want to see the medic in the castle? I don't know how much he can do for the scar at this point, but at least you wouldn't have to limp around — unless you want Jimmy to make jokes about offering you his crutches."

Kyle laughed and Stan couldn't look at his best friend's face.

He wanted to pull Kyle aside and demand to know if what Kenny claimed was true, but didn't dare. Not in public like this. There would be a time and a place soon enough.

"I'll go sometime before we leave," Stan promised, though at that point he didn't care about a simple limp.

~~~~~~

With one arm looped around Kyle's, Kenny jabbered on and on to the betrothed men next to her. Stan sat across the table. He tried to focus on the music instead, but that didn't help improve his mood.

Jimmy performed tonight, singing jovial and upbeat songs about spring and true love.

True love is what Stan thought Kyle and Kenny had.

Stan risked a glance at Craig and Tweek. Unlike Kenny and Kyle, neither of them were hanging off the other. They held hands on the top of the table, but that was the extent of their physical contact.

"I wish you could have been there, your majesty," Tweek was saying, "you would have loved it."

"She would have joined the contest and cheated her way to victory with her perky assets," Craig corrected, and not in a joking manner.

"Craig, you never change." Kenny batted at his shoulder with her fingers.

"Oh, no, princess, I mean, queen." Leopold laughed. "Craig changed a bunch since he and Tweek got together. He's much nicer. That's what love does to you, you know. It changes you for the better."

Craig flipped Leopold off, and Tweek snickered into his hand.

"What would you know about true love." Craig snorted. "You can't even court that Northern Elf woman without getting tongue-tied like a fool."

"Leave Charlotte out of this!" Leopold demanded around a blush. His eyes darted around nervously before he continued in a whisper, "I'll talk to her when I'm ready to."

With an impish smile, Kenny started asking invasive questions about Leopold's personal life.

Stan looked down at the table, tracing the wood grain with his eyes. Since their marriage, had Kyle changed for the better because of Kenny? He wracked his brain and found that the answer came up as a no. Kyle was the same as always.

Or was he? If Kenny was to be believed, then he was an adulterer and a liar. He certainly hadn’t been that before his marriage.

The sharp sound of a lute string snapping tore Stan's attention from his thoughts.

Jimmy held up his instrument with a wince then shook his head.

"S-Sorry, folks, looks like my lute's done for the night," He apologized with a laugh. He leaned back and whispered to one of the backup musicians, who nodded at him. "So while I take this l-l-little lute lady away for some fresh strings, I leave you in the capable hands of the lovely Ms. Charlotte and her b-beau-beati...The lovely Ms. Charlotte and her also lovely harp." He bowed for a Northern Elf woman with a harp to take the stage.

Leopold let out a high pitch squeaking sound and hid his face in his hands like a little boy with a playground crush. This did not go unnoticed by Kenny, who began to tease him more relentlessly.

Stan smiled in spite of himself at Leopold's reaction. In an attempt to distract himself, he began to listen to the conversation farther up between the Wizard King and the palace medic about post-war trade amongst the people of the coasts.

As everyone finished up their final course before dessert was brought out, Stan noticed that Kyle quietly excuse himself and headed out. This was his chance to talk to him alone.

Stan slipped out of his seat. Keeping to the wall, he inconspicuously walked around to the exit he saw Kyle leave through.

He wandered down the empty hall, looking around for any sign of his king. Everyone, staff included, had moved into the banquet hall to listen to the performance or admire the return of their beautiful princess.

A snorting laugh came from a room up ahead. Stan stiffen. That was Kyle's laugh, no doubt. Stan knew it anywhere. He followed the sound to a door left a jar. Steeling himself for the awkward conversation he was about to have, he pushed open the door.

His crutches and lute beside him, Jimmy sat on a table with his hands inside Kyle's open robes, tugging at his shirt, and his lips pressed right under Kyle's ear, while Kyle had an arm bracing him up with his hand pressed against Jimmy's side.

Jimmy left a trail of kisses from his ear and down to his mouth. He pulled back, parting his smiling lips to speak when he caught sight of Stan staring at them over Kyle's shoulder.

"S-S-S-Son of a bitch!" Jimmy gasped, jerking his hands away from Kyle, with his ears red as beats. Kyle spun around to follow Jimmy's gaze.

His eyes went as wide as Stan's were. He straightened up, swallowing. "Oh, Stan, what are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you and--I can't believe you." Stan gestured to Jimmy with a glare. "You're married to a beautiful woman, and you're feeling up Jimmy of all people?"

Jimmy frowned. "What is that suppose to--"

Kyle put a hand over his mouth.

"Stan, we can talk about this later, alright? There is a good reason for all this. There really is." Kyle walked over. He rested a hand on Stan's shoulder and began to steer him out the door. Stan spun out of his grasp.

"No, we talk now," Stan snapped. "Kyle, I'm ashamed of you for doing this. Kenny told me you were with other people, but I didn't believe it. I didn't want to. She's your wife. You're supposed to love her."

"She told you?" Kyle asked. He took a breath. "Stan, listen to me, Kenny is amazing. She's great. The people adore her. I admire her, but I don't love her."

"Have you tried?" Stan demanded. He couldn't wrap his head around this. How could they both not love each other? How could anyone not love Kenny if given the chance?

Kyle's shoulders slumped. He glanced at Jimmy over his shoulder, who looked away to examine a crack in the stone wall.

"Stan, please, we can talk about this later, just...go back to the banquet. Please. I promise I'll explain. Just keep quiet about this until later."

Stan stared into his king's eyes, searching for a lie. He was not going to let Kyle get out of this and avoid answering him.

"I'll come by your room tonight," Stan stated flatly. "Have a good evening, your majesty." He sent Jimmy a cold glare over Kyle's shoulder before Kyle took a step to the side, intercepting it like a shield absorbing an arrow.

With a snort, Stan left Jimmy and Kyle to their own devices.

~~~~~~

Kyle did not look entirely pleased when he returned to the banquet hall. Kenny cocked an eyebrow as he took a seat. From his side at the head of the table, Eric turned towards Kyle, clearly about to make a snide comment.

Kenny moved quickly to wrap her arms around his neck and greet him warmly. "Welcome back, my dearest love! You missed quite an interesting story Leopold here was telling me about his training. I think you would find it very interesting, given the work you and Hiedi have been doing."

She hoped seeing Eric's lips raise up in a snarl before he went back to talking with Token would have been enough to improve Kyle's mood, but instead, it made him scowl.

He whispered in her ear. "You told Stan about me and Jimmy?"

Even with her years of training to keep a straight face, it was no trouble at all for her to keep her expression only mildly interested. She had a hunch Stan would go talk to Kyle the first chance he got.

Kenny stood, hauling Kyle back to his feet.

"Leopold, tomorrow, you must retell your story to my husband here, but I'm afraid I must bid you all good night for the evening." She pressed against his side, one hand snaking around to rest on his lower back. "We must bid you all a good night. Come on, love." To Craig and Tweek she added coyly, "Don't stay up too late, boys. Remember now, you have the whole honeymoon together."

Craig rolled his eyes as Tweek laughed, claiming they knew that and promised they wouldn't.

Kyle didn't protest when she half pulled him out of the banquet hall. They didn't speak until they returned to their quarters.

"You told Stan," Kyle accused the moment the door shut.

Kenny nodded. "Yes. I did." She ran her hand on the fabric draped along the walls. Eric had it put up to dampen any sounds that might come from her room when they were a little younger.

"Why?" He demanded. "He burst in on me and Jimmy in the servants quarters."

"Ha! You and Jimmy feeling all over each other in the servants quarters? You are one brave fucker, Broflovski." She cackled. "Do you know how many times I got caught back there with my skirts up? It's a terrible place to sneak around. Traffic's too high. I suggest the back corner of the garden. It's quiet and sometimes you can overhear Eric conspiring to betray someone."

Kenny grabbed the end of the curtain and spun around so it encircled her like a warm cocoon.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Answer the question. Why?"

"Because I thought it would help me get him as mine." She spun back around. "He's such a good, loyal man. I thought if I told him the truth, that I wasn't attempting to do anything with him that you haven't done, then he would fall right into my arms."

"You were trying to seduce my guard?" Kyle's voice was sharp.

Kenny threw out the curtains in her hands to the side. "'Trying,' yes," She agreed. "He's so loyal to you that he rejected me, so, do me a favor when you see him next and tell him you don't give a fuck." She walked until she came to her old vanity then flopped down into the chair and began to rifle through the drawers.

"No."

Kenny looked up, brow furrowed.

"No? What's that supposed to mean? You don't need to say it like I did, but just give him the gist of it. If he knows you're alright about it, then he'll--"

"No, as in, I won't tell him. This is not 'alright'," Kyle stated firmly as he crossed his arms. "I forbid you to peruse him or him to pursue you."

Kenny's mouth gaped open. "What? Why?"

"Any other person in the castle that you think can keep a secret, fine, but not him," Kyle said. "Stanley Marshwalker is off limits to you."

Slamming the drawer shut, she turned in the chair and glared. He held her glare with one of his own. When it came to a battle of determination, the two were evenly matched and their battle could have gone on for the rest of the evening in silence had Kenny not spoken.

"That's not fair." She hissed. "I have held myself as your perfect little wife since we got married. I let you have relations with whomever the fuck you pleased, so why shouldn't I have any with whom I please?"

"I was with Jimmy long before we were forced into matrimony," Kyle reminded coldly.

"And Heidi? She came with me as part of my court," Kenny snapped, and Kyle fell silent. "See, it's not fair. I'm not even asking to be with more than one person. I just want the chance to have Stan. You can't deny me this. I've been faithful these past years and believe me, it hasn't been fun."

Kyle waved his hand. "Disguise yourself and get a prostitute then if you need cardinal company so badly."

She slapped her hands on the vanity table. "I don't just want physical company. I want to love someone, you curly-haired dolt!" Running her hand through her hair, she took a breath and asked as calmly as she could, "Why, exactly, are you so against me and Stan together?"

Kyle pressed his lips to a line for a moment. Then let out a long breath through his nose.

"Stan is sensitive. He hides it, but he is. You'll string him along, and when you get bored with him, leave him in the dust with a broken heart for someone else." Kyle gritted his teeth. "It is the typical behavior from someone of your background, isn't it?"

"My background? What the fuck does that mean?" She spat, standing up to march over to face him. He was taller than her, so she had to crane her neck to look him in the eyes.

"My background as a Human princess? As an Orc? What happened when I was under The Stick's control? What 'background' could possibly be so terrible?" She demanded to know. This was a test--and Kyle had better answer carefully.

"I was talking about your fickle mother and her decision to jump on the first Orc dick that offered and abandon her people," Kyle answered harshly, stepping forward to assert himself into her personal space.

Kenny flinched back as if she'd been slapped.

How dare he? HOW DARE HE!? After all that she had done for him, he reacts like this?! She let him keep Jimmy. She had no qualms with his pursuit of Heid--all the while she was left alone, pretending she was happy and deeply in love with a person who doesn't even look at her without a spell on.

And he had the balls to insult her mother?

Her magic flared in her hands. At this distance, it would take only one blast to send Kyle through a wall if she wanted. Blast Kyle, run away from the kingdom, find a little village far away, start a new life and never think about all this bullshit ever again. Never have anyone question her loyalty to her kingdoms. Never have anyone insult her over her origins.

One blast is all it would take...

Kyle felt the magic in the air and braced himself, but Kenny unclenched her hands and hissed out a breath.

"I'll be going now, my love. I don't know if I'll come back." Venom dripped from the pet name. Shouldering past him, she stormed out of the room and down the hall.

~~~~~~

Stan paced back and forth in front of one of the castle's wells. The sun set an hour ago and the full moon took its place in the sky. He needed to go talk to Kyle, but he had to get all his thoughts sorted out first.

Did he tell Kyle that Kenny tried to seduce him? Did he want to know when Kyle's affair started? Did he--

A flash of light filled the air with a crackling sound from the practice fields behind the castle. Stan jumped, hand on his sword hilt already. He ran towards the light.

Was the castle under attack? Was it because of the wedding? Craig and Tweek were both powerful and influential in their respected circles, Craig being the kingdom's spymaster and Tweek an army general. Each of them must have had enemies to spare who would want to destroy their happiness!

Stan skidded to a stop, sword prone to attack, only to see the queen let loose an arrow from her bow. The arrow snuck into sack training dummy before bursting into flames. There was another dummy beside it already engulfed and four more lined up and ready.

A sigh of relief escaped Stan's lips. He sheathed his sword while calling out, "Your Majesty."

Kenny jumped, swinging her newly strung bow towards Stan. She didn't have her glamour on and the moonlight reflected off her teeth.

When her eyes fell on him, she relaxed for a moment, before she scowled.

"Queen Kenny, what are you doing out this late? And why the..." He waved to the training dummies.

She turned her attention back to the dummies. "Stan, surprisingly, you are not who I want to talk with right now. Go the fuck away."

Another dummy burst into flames.

Stan licked his lips. "Is that such a good idea? Fire spells when no one is around to help?"

The last few dummies were set ablaze in rapid secession. Kenny put her fingers to her mouth and whistled. A second later, a flock of ragged looking crows flew overhead, a bucket of water in each of their claws, that they dumped over each of the dummies to extinguish the flames. In turn, each crow dropped the bucket to the ground before settling in a nearby tree.

"This is not the first time I have done this," Kenny stated flatly. "All is well. Go away."

"All doesn't seem well to me." Stan reached out. "I, um, I tried to talk to Kyle, and saw him with Jimmy."

She barked a laugh. "Oh, yes, I heard about that! My dear, loving husband is very pissed off about it. It's not like you would tell, so I don't know what he is worried about." She took another arrow from the quiver on her back. "You're loyal to a fault."

Stan furrowed his brow. "No, I am not. You are married to Kyle. Even if we both want it, It's wrong for us to be together, and you know that." He hoped he sounded more firm in his voice than he actually felt. At this point, her offer looked just as appealing as she did.

"Oh, Stan, Stan, Stan," She chuckled. This time when the arrow hit, a burst of rainbow light wrapped around the dummy and squeezed so hard that the head popped off and rolled to the ground before disappearing in the bushes. The murder of crows let out a round of caws at the decapitation.

She wore a soft smile as she spoke. "Stan, this marriage isn't one Kyle or I wanted. I'm not trying to have an affair on him because I'm fickle and bored with him. If Kyle rejected Eric's offer of my hand, how would that look to the common people? We just ended a war and as far as the layman knows, Kyle had no reason not to accept."

"You two could have tried to love each other," Stan offered.

Kenny heaved a sigh and aimed. "I was willing to try. I was, but even if Kyle's love didn't already belong to another, I doubt he could have ever loved me. He hates that I was raised Human. He hates that I'm half-Orc. He hates how I look. He hates what I did when I had The Stick. He hates that I come from a family that left the Elven Kingdom in a state of disrepair. He could ignore all that for the sake of appearance and friendship, but never for l-love."

Her voice cracked and the arrow missed, landing in the dirt half way to the dummy. A few of the crows flew down to peck at the arrow.

She held her face in one hand while her shoulders shook. "I'm so foolish. A fine fucking fool. Since I can't die, this is punishment for all the bad I've done. It's not fair."

The bow clattered from her grip to the ground so she could hide her face with both hands. It hurt to see her like this, so upset and alone. It hurt too much for Stan to bear.

Ignoring the worry in his chest, he pulled her into a warm, comforting embrace. ~~~~~~

Kyle doubled over with his hands on his knees when he came up to Jimmy outside the castle walls. The moon painted their faces pale in its light.

"Please say you found her," He panted.

Jimmy shook his head. "Not h-hide nor hair."

"Fuck. We need to find her before the Wizard King finds out." Kyle ran his hand down his face, inwardly groaning at the thought. He and Kenny had been able to fool that oaf the last few years into thinking his plan backfired on him. He could not bear to see the gloating look on his face if he found out they fought.

"Have you checked that garden?" Kyle asked, straightening up. "She mentioned that this evening before our fight. Maybe she's there."

"I did, but I couldn't find her." Jimmy leaned all his weight onto one crutch. "First Stan, now this. Fate f-f-fucking us right up the ass today."

"It is," Kyle agreed. "I wish we'd brought Heidi with us."

"She would have sent a fireball at the Wizard King the moment he spoke to her," Jimmy pointed out.

"I meant that she can use tracking spells to find Kenny, but I don't see a problem with that as well," Kyle admitted. When it came to organizing and getting things done, Kyle couldn't say he ever met someone as efficient at such a task as Heidi and her drive to succeed. With her, they would have already found Kenny and had all of this settled and behind them.

If only she were here, he wouldn't have gotten so bored at the banquet that he snuck off. They were currently studying the effects of holy magic on the methods of spellcasting between Humans and Elves. Paladin Leopold would have been the perfect person to discuss that with.

Or, if only he had brought Jimmy with him when he confronted Kenny about it instead of hotheadedly letting Kenny drag him back to their room for the conversation. Jimmy could have defused the situation with ease before it escalated with his wit and humor.

Though, that was the problem, wasn't it? Kyle had been lucky enough to meet two people who kept his interest and brought out his best. Kenny didn't have even one person like that for herself.

According to the law, Kyle was supposed to be that person, but he just couldn't. She was too loud, too extroverted and personable and flirtatious. Knowing her origins certainly didn't help either. She was the daughter of a runaway queen that left all the Elven royalty fighting and backstabbing to claim the throne for their own. Her mother's actions caused a giant mess that took well into his own mother's reign to clean up.

Kyle could look past the being raised Human. He could forgive her action under the control of The Stick of Truth. He could even try to ignore how she looked without a glamour on. But never what her mother did.

How could he ever trust someone with that kind of lineage with his best friend's heart?

Kyle shook himself from his thoughts. "Jimmy, keep looking. I need to find her."

"Are you sure that's a g-good idea?" Jimmy questioned. "Sounds like what you said really upset her. Maybe you should leave her a-al-alone. So what if the Wizard King finds out you two had a spat? Lovers do that, you know."

"I won't let him have the satisfaction." He tapped his heel against the ground. The Human lands didn't team with the type of magic Kyle used, but it didn't take much for him to summon a root to lift him up from the ground to get a better view of the wide expanse of stables and training grounds behind the castle.

If anyone saw him and asked, he would claim he was trying to get a better look at the far off forest. Humans usually saw Elves as tree loving animists, anyway, so they'd believe him.

A flash of fire caught his eye. Magical fire. Kyle slid down the root and hopped to the ground. "Come on." He gestured for the root to lower before dragging Jimmy towards the light. ~~~~~~

Kenny leaned against Stan's side, her knees pulled to her chest with Stan's arm around her shoulder. Her quiver sat discarded near the tree while the crows gleefully playing with the arrows.

"He said that to you?" Stan squeezed her arm.

She nodded. "Yeah. I know Mom leaving the kingdom for my dad didn't end well for the Elves, but that's not my fault."

"We're not our parents," Stan agreed, "but Kyle is so much like his mother that I don't think he can see that easily."

"I met her twice, his mother, I mean, and that was more than enough," Kenny giggled, nuzzling up against him. She was warm, and Stan couldn't help but enjoyed the closeness. A sudden thought that it wouldn't take much to lean down and kiss her pushed to the front of his mind. He let it settle there a moment longer than he knew he ought to before dismissing it.

"She's not that bad. Her Majesty was like a second mother to me when I was growing up."

"And yet you still turned out a better man than Kyle," Kenny teased.

"I should tell on him," Stan mused. "His mother would chew his ear off."

"Oh, please do." Kenny covered her smile.

Stan stared at her expression, awestruck. She was lovely. How could Kyle hate that face? The Orcish features weren't that bad. They made her distinct, Stan thought.

She noticed him staring and smiled wide enough to expose all of her front teeth, sharpen canines included. Stan's ears turned pink, but he didn't try to hide them this time.

Readjusting herself, Kenny inched her face closer to his. She paused, giving Stan a chance to back away. He didn't want to, not anymore. Her eyes flicked up to meet his, their lips a breath away from each others'.

"You're--"

"Kenny!"

Stan jerked away, turning his attention to the newcomers, while Kenny cursed.

Kyle jogged into the training area. Sweat ran down his face, pasting his curls to his forehead. Jimmy followed him not long after. His face was red. Jimmy had to balance himself against the fence as he panted.

"There you are!" Kyle sighed. "I thought you might have run away."

Kenny snorted, crossing her arms over her knees. "Oh, like my mother?"

Kyle gritted his teeth. "Don't start that, Kenny."

Stan stood abruptly as all his anger boiled up at once. Kenny nearly fell without the support but caught herself. Fueled by righteous fury, Stan marched up to jab a finger into Kyle's chest.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He demanded.

"Stan, this isn't your conversation. Go stand with Jimmy," Kyle ordered as he swiped Stan's finger down.

"It became mine when you decided to include me in it." Stan crossed his arms. "Now answer me. What the hell is wrong with you? How could you say something like that to her? Insulting her mother? As if your parents didn’t make fool hearted decisions before during their reign!"

From the fence, Jimmy said, "Stan, just st-stand down. It's best to let them sort this out thems-sel-selves."

Stan sent Jimmy a glare that made him turned his head away. They both knew this was Stan's battle now too, and Stanley Marshwalker never ran from a battle.

Kyle dragged his hand down his face. "I didn't want to say this, but you become useless when you're emotionally hurt. I can't risk that. You and she cannot be. Kenny will hurt you."

"Then you and he," Stan gestured to Jimmy, "cannot be. Or you and Heidi. They could both hurt you, and you make terrible choices when you’re angry." Kyle opened his mouth, but Stan continued, "You're not being fair. Not to Kenny for denying her this and not to me for keeping me, your best friend, in the dark."

"Did you really want to be involved in royal adulatory, Stan?" Kyle hissed. "Really? Do you want to forever be known at the paramour to the Half-Orc queen? That's how you would be remembered? What you did during the war will mean nothing to the future generations then."

"I..." His shoulders slumped and he took a step back, looking away. Kenny let out a quiet, disappointed sigh from behind him.

Kyle put a hand on his shoulder. "She can find someone else. With her glamour on, she's stunning. It'll be easy for her to catch anyone she wants."

Stan's head shot up. He shouldered off his best friend's hand. "She's stunning without it! Just look at her right now." He threw out his arm towards her. "She's the most beautiful creature I've seen come from this kingdom."

Kenny flushed, raising a hand to her teeth, before looking away with a grateful smile.

"And you know what?" Stan continued. "If I'm not remembered for my contribution to the war, fine! I'll be dead, so why should I care?" He pushed Kyle back. "If you can have a paramour, then so should she. At least with me, you know she isn't in danger or that I plan to use her to get to you."

Stan's hard, determined gaze met Kyle's and held it.

Anger painted Kyle's ears and cheeks as red as his hair. His lips rose in a snarl, and Stan braced himself for the wrath of the High Elf King when a hand fell on Kyle's forearm.

"Kyle, just let it go." Jimmy shook his head. "He had a p-point and you know it. It's not fair for you to have people who love you and for you to love, and she doesn't."

"But--" Kyle started.

"H-Hiedi would agree with me. She's said so before." Jimmy squeezed his arm. Kyle groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. His anger began to wane away from his face.

"She would," He agreed. "She has."

"That's, hmmm, four against one," Jimmy chirped. "By the power of democracy, you, my dear king, have to allow it."

Kyle laughed. He gazed at Jimmy so affectionately that Stan wasn't sure how he never made the connection that their relationship went far beyond platonic. Kenny walked up to stand beside Stan then. Stan caught her eye with a small smile. She returned it then bumped their shoulders together.

"I'm still against this," Kyle told Stan, "but there's no point arguing anymore, is there? Do what you want." He spun on his heels, rubbing circles into his temples. "I'm tired as hell."

Kenny glanced at Stan. "I think I'll stay here a little while longer." She said.

Kyle waved his hands nonchalantly. "Do what you want," He repeated.

Jimmy breathed a laugh. "I'll make sure he remembers to arrange some reason for you two to have time alone together. Might th-think of something one of you wants to learn from the other. The royal library back home is very private." He winked.

"You're the best, Jimmy." Stan held out his hand.

Jimmy shrugged, slapping Stan's palm with his own. "We man m-mistresses have to stick together."

Once Jimmy disappeared with Kyle, Kenny took a step away. She loosely crossed her arms over her stomach then took a long breath and let it out in a whistle. "So, did you mean that? Do you really want to be with me? That wasn't all just because you were mad at how Kyle treated me?"

Stan scratched the back of his head. "Well, I was mad at Kyle. Not just for being a dick to you. I was mad he didn't tell me anything about Hiedi and Jimmy. It just all came out, I guess."

"So, is that a no?" She tensed, ready for the rejection.

"No, it's a yes." Stan caressed her cheek. "I think it's wrong. I think your whole marriage is wrong, but, I know there isn't anything I can do about that."

"No, not really."

Stan stroked her cheek with his thumb before leaning forward. He hesitated just a moment to glance around one last time when Kenny grabbed his shirt and yanked him forward, smashing their lips together for a long wanted first kiss. ~~~~~~

Kenny sniffed, throwing her arms out. "Oh, the ceremony was beautiful! Your love vows were so sweet."

Tweek tugged at his shirt, blushing. "Craig's was better than mine. He's such a romantic."

"I took half of mine from old love poems." Craig squeezed Tweek's hand then kissed his hair. "Yours was from your heart alone."

"See, a romantic!" Tweek chuckled, bumping him with his hip.

Kenny set one hand on each of their shoulders. "Aaaaaaah! You two will make each other so happy!"

As Kenny gushed over the newlyweds, Stan took a step closer to Kyle.

"So, um, about last night," Stan whispered. "You're not too mad at me, are you?"

"I am mad, but I was outvoted. Not much I can do about it other than be mad." Kyle turned over the leaf of the potted plant to his left, his and Kenny's wedding gift: A tree blessed by the druids. It was to be planted outside the couple's home, as was tradition amongst Elven kind. It was not too unlike the one planted in the grove at the Elven castle for his own wedding.

"I can keep a secret," Stan assured, "and I can keep her happy."

Kyle lifted a shoulder. "I'm sure you can." He sighed, his expression softening from professional indifference to apologetic. "Don't worry about me. I'll get over it. She assures me she isn't going to string you along or hurt you. She's my wife, so I guess I have no choice but to trust her."

Stan elbowed him in the side, like when they were both still teenagers, and Kyle elbowed him back, leaving Stan assured that there was no deep ill-will between them over what happened. Kyle's anger would wane in time, Stan just had to wait it out.

~~~~~~

Even with the sun shining down, the weather was a little too cool for Kenny’s tastes. Summer was supposed to be horribly hot, not pleasent., and yet, somehow the many flowers of the garden still thrived. The foliage was thick and lush. The flowers filled the royal garden with a marriage of lovely scents with every gentle wind gust. The leaves overhead were so tightly packed that only the barest bit of the filtered light fell across the couple.

It was almost as private escape as the gardens at Kupa Keep and Kenny found she quite liked it, even without the opportunity to overhear a political betrayal.

Kenny snuggled back against Stan’s warm front. She held up a small yellow flower from the gathering of blooms and sprigs in her lap.

“What’s this?” She asked.

Turning his head to the side, Stan rested his cheek on the top of her head. He took one hand from around her shoulders to take the flower and spin it in his fingers.

“Um, it’s a...buavavercup?” He offered with uncertainty in his voice. Plant words were a new lesson to him, and he wasn’t having as easy of a time with them as he had with animal words.

Kenny nodded, not bothering to correct that he put the emphasis on the wrong syllable, and held up a plain, white daisy.

“That’s a daiukausan,” Stan replied quickly.

“This?” She held up a fragrant sprig of rosemary with some small blue blooms. This was a word she had taught him nearly a week ago and hadn’t brought up again, so she didn’t expect him to get it right.

Stan screwed up his face in thought, tapping against his other forearm with the hand he still had encircled around her shoulders. He uh-ed and um-ed for a moment then made a sound of realization.

“Rosemary is roo...ah..roa...roke...roukemarausan!” He rushed through the word, slurring half the letters together.

“Roukemarausan,” Kenny replied slowly, taking time to pronounce it as clearly as possible. “Alright, and this is a hard one.” She took a pale pink dahlia flower from the pile before setting the rest off to the empty bench seat beside them. “What is this? In Orcish?”

There was certainly no possible way Stan knew this one. Kenny only chose that one in case Stan got all the others correct so she could console him when he got it wrong with a kiss. He always perked right up with a stroke of the cheek and a kiss. It was adorable.

Stan chewed his lip. “Oh, a dahlia? You never told me that one. I don’t know the word.”

Kenny smirked, turning in his arms. Slipping the flower behind his ear, she kissed his lips quickly. “That was a trick question. There is no word for ‘dahlia’ in Orcish. We just call it what it’s called in common tongue.” Resting her arms across his shoulders, going in for another kiss. “You’re so clever.”

Someone cleared their throats, making the two jump.

“Sorry for interrupting,” Hiedi apologized, readjusting her wide brim hat with her free hand while the other held a large wicker basket. Kyle stood beside her, her fist to his mouth, instead he had been the one to scare them.

Kenny quickly recomposed herself, settling to sit forward, but recline comfortable back against Stan. Stan, himself, felt stiffen and unsure at being caught.

“It’s no trouble,” Kenny replied smoothly. “What brings you two love birds to the garden of dirty little secrets?”

“That’s not what it’s called.” Kyle rolled his eyes.

“It is now,” She teased, resting her head in the crock of Stan’s neck. “It’s a garden. It’s private, perfect for secret affairs, and there is dirt everywhere.”

Finally relaxing, Stan snorted a laugh into his hand. She made a note to thank him for indulging her little joke later when Kyle and Hiedi left.

Kyle opened his mouth to speak, but Hiedi put a hand to his chest and stepped forward. “We’re here for our project.” She held up her large basket which was nearly half filled with an assortment of flowers, leaves, and even full plants pulled up by the roots. “We need a particular set of plants to compare if the difference of healing magic used by Human warlocks of the coastal regions and those used by Northern, Elven warlocks is based in one using dry ingredients and one using fresh or if the difference stems from the fundamental difference in how Humans draw out magic to be used.”

Kenny nodded, but Stan furrowed his brow. Of them all, he was the only one of the four not to understand the interworkings of magic at all.

“I’ll explain it later if you want,” She whispered to him.

“I don’t know if I care that much.” He muttered back. Then he took a breath and asked, “Do you need help finding them?” Carefully disentangling Kenny from around him and his arms from around her, he got to his feet.

“We can manage—”

“Of course we could!” Hiedi hurried over to Stan. “Some of what we need are tree leaves, so you can reach up and get them for me. You rest here, your majesty. This won’t take too long. I promise.”

“Wait for me,” Kyle took a few steps, but Hiedi looked over her shoulder at him with a hard, pointed expression. He flinched back and looked away, not in a hurt or annoyed way, but in an embarrassed way, as if he’d been caught.

Stan raised an eyebrow but shrugged. He would probably ask Hiedi about it when they were out of earshot. When he returned, after Kyle and Hiedi left, she would badger him for more information.

After Hiedi and Stan wandered farther into the garden, Kyle and Kenny shared a few, tense, silent moments. She was still a little upset over Kyle’s actions the day before the wedding a month ago. Kyle knew it, and they had both taken great efforts to avoid being alone with each other. He hadn't even bothered to make an excuse to sleep in the royal library instead of their room anymore. Not that Kenny minded that much. Kyle sprawled on the bed and it pissed her off anyway.

Finally, Kyle heaved a sigh.

“So, you’re teaching Stan Orcish?” He asked, not looking at her.

“I am. He’s picking it up pretty fast. It’s quite a valuable language, honestly. You should learn it sometime.” She plucked the sprig of rosemary from the pile. “With another teacher other than me, of course. I’m a one pupil woman.”

Kyle took a shaking breath and ignored her antagonizing remark to reply, “You must be doing a good job. Stan looked like a puppy getting a treat for fetching a stick when you told him he was clever.” There was a slight condescending tone in his voice.

“Was that an insult?” She countered, snapping the sprig in half.

Kyle thought on it a moment. “No. that was an observation.”

Kenny hummed but didn’t reply. Instead, she attempted to weave her pile of flowers into a small messy crown. In all honesty, this was still going a little better than Kenny thought their first actual conversation would go. She would take icy silence overheated arguing this time.

Kyle ran his hand through his hair before carefully coming to stan in front of her. She looked up at him with disinterest.

“I...need to apologize.” His voice sounded forced and uncomfortable. “I should not have assumed your character like I did last month. It does seem that you and Stan could work. You do seem to make him happy.”

Kenny dropped her crown in surprise. Quickly gathering herself, she laughed. “Oh, if you had just judged my character, I wouldn’t have been mad. My own character has a history of...” she hummed, “let’s say insatiable physical desire, and a fairly poor...record of treachery. If that was all that you used to decide I was a detriment to Stan, then I would have let you have it.”

“You wouldn't have gone after him?” Kyle took a step back, eyebrows raised enough to hide behind his curly bangs.

“Oh, no, I would have, but I would have done so secretly behind your back.” She corrected, picking back up her crown. The different stems did not all weave together properly and some of the flowers had fallen away. She went on, “But when you insulted all that I had little or no control over, you pissed me off.”

Kyle crossed his arms. “Yes,” He breathed, “and that was wrong of me. Very wrong. I shouldn’t have done it. I just didn’t want Stan hurt.”

Kenny eyed him up and down a moment, considering what to say. She could needle him on if she wanted. He deserved to feel guilty for the insult, she thought, but even she was growing tired of these interpersonal politics.

“That doesn’t make what you said any less hurtful, but I forgive you.” Kenny patted to the seat next to her. Kyle smiled; His whole face filled with relief as he took the seat. The next few moments held no more talking that before, but this time the silence was a comfortable one.

When Hiedi returned, she came alone with a basket full of flowers and leaves.

“I think I got everything,” She held out the basket for Kyle to examine.

“Bayleaf? Hazelnut bark? Baby’s breath?” He asked, picking through the basket.

“All of it,” she replied, offering her free hand to help him stand. Setting his arm across her back to rest his hand on her hip, Kyle took her hat from her head. With the sizable difference in their heights, he had to bend his knees to plant a kiss on the top of her head before returning the hat. He reminded Kenny of a foal buckling his knees down to the grass to try and copy his mother. According to Stan, Kyle used to be quite the gangly teenager, and she was sure he would enjoy the mental image if she shared it with him.

“That should be all we need.” He told her.

“Where’s Stan?” Kenny asked with a frown, looking around Hiedi for him.

“He said he had to attend to something, but he would be back soon,” Hiedi replied, leaning against Kyle’s side. “We need to get going. These have to be organized and divide before we can start our testing.”

Kenny settled back with a nod. “Ah, alright, you two go ‘organize and divide’ to your heart's content, then.” She waved her hand for them to go.

Kyle attempted to pull Hiedi along with him, but she planted her self and sent him an inquiring look. With a heavy sigh, Kyle nodded to her.

“We talked it out. I apologize. She accepted. I learned my lesson. You can stop pestering me about it now..” He sounded like he’d rehearsed, but Heidi smiled and looked contented with his reply anyway. This time, she took the lead and was the one to drag him away after a farewell to her queen.

Kenny watched them disappear through the greenery. Hiedi and Jimmy were good matches for Kyle. It was a wonder his tempter and righteous nature hadn’t gotten him in more trouble before those two entered his life.

The rustling of bushes caused her to swing her head up.

Stan came walking back with his arms and face covered in scratches, leaves, and bramble caught on his clothing and hair, and a wide smile plastered across his lips.

“For you,” He announced, holding out a bundle of roses to her. “Roukeuk.” He proudly told her in Orcish, putting a little too much emphasis on the vowels. She blushed and took them anyway.

“They’re lovely! And you wounded yourself so greatly attempting to get them, I see.” She gestured to the cuts on his arm. Stan reached up and rubbed a scratch on his cheek with his wrist, but kept a grin on his face the whole time.

He did look like a puppy.

Crooking a finger for him to lean down, Kenny pushed herself forward to press a kiss to his lips. If Stan still had any regrets over their relationship, he didn't show it as he pulled her closer, pressing the roses between their chests.

~~~~

#Stenny #stick of truth #south park #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #Jimmy Valmer #Hiedi Turner #jyle #kydi #fanfiction #multi chapter #SOT

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maxhoemo · 6 years

Text

max/chad pt. 3

tw; transphobia

Chad’s mom was the coolest. So much cooler than Max’s parents. Max preferred staying over at their house as much she could. Their house was huge, Chad’s room was the entire attic. Well, it was more of a loft than an attic. He had everything. Computer, Playstation, X-Box, and unlike Max’s house, their cupboard’s were always filled with snacks. Max’s mom never bought snacks. Also unlike Max’s mom, Chad’s let him have sleepovers on weekdays. Okay, it sounded lame, Max thought, but it meant she could basically spend all her time there if she wanted.

Max and Chad were hanging out in Chad’s room, as they usually were. Max was trying to finish her homework. She never saw Chad do his… She tapped the end of her pencil against the paper impatiently, stuck on a particular question. Tossing the pencil down, she huffed and got up to have a walk around the room. “Jesus Christ, Chad!” She shouted, catching a glimpse of his computer screen. “Are you seriously watching porn right now!?”

“Yeah. What’s the big deal?”

“I’m right here!”

“You’re fucking always here! When else am I ever gonna get a chance?”

Max crossed her arms. She supposed he had a point. Somewhat. She raised an eyebrow looking over his shoulder in pure curiosity. Two generic looking porn stars, a guy and a girl. Of course the girl was blonde, with giant tits and no body hair. Was that really what guys wanted….? Max had never seen porn before. She felt an odd mix of ickyness and lust. It was like a car crash…. She dropped her arms to her sides, biting her lip slightly. She hated being a teenager. Sex scenes in movies, that didn’t show anything, could make her feel horny. But seeing porn was like an entirely different level of horniness. It was like turning on a light switch. Put it in front of her same result every time, like a machine, no matter what. She watched over her friends shoulder, the man lick the woman’s pussy. It was gross seeing a vagina that close…But when the camera focused on her face. The sounds she made….The things she said…That was the part Max liked. “…I wish someone would do that to me….” she blurted out.

“I would do it.” Chad answered immediately, though, nonchalantly.

“You….You wouldn’t know how….” Max retorted, trying to mask her redening face. She felt so stupid for saying something like that! But it was true. She wanted to have sex. At least her body did. But she didn’t want it with Chad. “I’d rather….”

“Kyle Moore! I know….” Chad finished her sentence for her. “Why? Cause he’s athletic? He’s a twat….”

“He’s cute! Anyways, I know you would rather be with her, wouldn’t you?” Max pointed to the woman on screen.

“Nah, I’d way rather fuck you than her.”

“Liar….” Max groaned.

“You’re hot Max, just accept it.”

“Ugh. No I’m not… I hate my body….”

“Why?”

“I don’t know….. It just….It doesn’t feel like it belongs to me, you know?”

“No….”

Max sighed. “I know….It’s so hard to put into words, I don’t really understand it myself. Maybe it’s just puberty, I don’t know….”

Chad shrugged, closing his tab and absent-mindedly refreshing facebook, which was open behind it. “Oh look, Max. Kyle’s status. He’s feeling blessed. What a fucking tool.”

“Shut up! Some people aren’t miserable sacks of crap, you know…”

“You’re thinking with your pussy! He’s a fucking cunt!”

“You just wanna fuck me!”

“Yeah, I do! But that’s got nothin’ to do with it!”

“Just leave me alone….” Max grumbled, going back to her work.

…..

It was well past midnight. Chad was passed out. Max knew she should be asleep. She’d be miserable at school tomorrow. But she had to use Chad’s computer. She didn’t have the privacy at home, and she didn’t want to look this shit up with Chad over her shoulder.

She sat in his chair, wiggling the mouse to wake it up. The first thing that greeted her was Chad’s facebook timeline. Kyle’s status still at the top. She smiled to herself, deciding to click the name. Scrolling through his pictures she sighed. He was so cute. He probably didn’t even know she existed. She frowned. She wanted him so badly….

Opening up a new tab, she typed into google; “how to make a crush notice you…” She scrolled through the results, but nothing looked promising. All the same old shit. Talk to them, dress nice…. She supposed she could give it a try…. She deleted the search, instead typing; “my best friend has a crush on me”. Max laughed to herself as she scrolled. All the results were so mean. She didn’t want to tell Chad to fuck off and never talk to her again, she liked him. Besides, he didn’t really have a crush on her. He just wanted to stick his dick in her cause he was horny and weird, just like she was. If she was less nervous, she might have even let him….She sighed. Erasing that search too. That wasn’t what she really needed help with. She hesitated, fingers trembling as they went to type. She was scared of any answer she might find. What if she was crazy? What if she had a mental illness and needed to go to a hospital? Slowly she typed in; “I’m a girl and I wish I was born a boy….” Again, not very many useful results. In a new tab, she logged onto good old Fanpop.com. It was the only site she could think of at the moment where she was anonymous, and could ask a community of people her age. She went over to the ‘advice’ page and typed in the exact same question. Maybe someone would feel the same, who knows. Closing the tab, now back over at google. She scrolled down until she found someone else who had asked the same question. She wasn’t familiar with the forum site, but wanted to give it a shot. Just to see what people were saying.

As she began to read the replies, she frowned.

People may try to fill your head with these vague and weird ideas about how you are spiritually male or something like that even though they probably don’t even believe in spirits. They might even suggest that you get a sex change operation. Don’t listen to that nonsense. No one can make you male. You aren’t male. And there’s nothing wrong with being female.

Max huffed angrily. This first guy didn’t have to be such a dick about someone asking a simple question. She didn’t know why he said it was all nonsense. Max thought the idea of her soul being male made perfect sense. But that didn’t really help…. She scrolled to the next answer.

You think of the things that guys do not and would never experience such as giving birth, having monthly periods and the cramps that come with it.

Ugh! That wasn’t it at all! This answer was nicer, but somehow even worse!

Sometimes this dilemma is part of our life lesson: to learn to accept our feminity.

‘I don’t have to accept anything, bitch’ Max thought. These answers weren’t helping at all. Maybe there was no answer. Maybe she was just crazy…. She tapped her finger against the mouse in thought. This first guy had mentioned the sex change operation, just like Chad did when she brought it up to him. Max had definitely heard of it before, maybe that would hold the answer. Maybe it could lead her to some kind of scientific explanation for what she was feeling. She went back and typed in the phrase.

“Ew!!” She quickly scrolled past the graphic images and videos that popped up, clicking instead on the wikipedia article.

the surgical procedure (or procedures) by which a transgender person’s physical…

Transgender…Now there was a new word. She clicked the link, but was sorely disappointed. The article was hard to read. Filled with jargon and words she didn’t recognize. It was hard to make sense of….She closed the browser in frustration. It was 3am. She needed to sleep.

#mad #writing

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realdeadlovin · 3 years

Text

and the long rambly email, so far.

Hey brian. I don't know if I'm going to send this but I guess part of me just wants to know that I did my best to explain where I'm coming from even if nothing comes from it, I won't look back and be like well maybe if I'd explained myself more... idk. It feels futile bc in my experience it just feels like if you have decided some piece of information or feedback is threatening or uncomfortable to you, you will just refuse to hear it or acknowledge it til the end of time. which makes it utterly impossible to work through what should be simple conflicts. I talked to MC about your visit today. she said something like, "I know you aren't someone who is freely vulnerable very often, and as someone who also struggles a lot to feel safe with vulnerability I can really understand how hard that was." I dont know brian, I guess thats why I wanna clarify that it wasn't that you weren't "emotionally available" bc like I said I really wasn't asking for or expecting anything from you. i was just expecting you not to actively throw it back in my face and make me feel like I would lose you for showing my feelings in front of you. I mean, I didn't actually know to ask that, because I hadn't really considered it as a possibility. I felt genuinely shocked. I couldn't imagine ever responding that way to you if the situations were reversed; it would feel so awful and cruel. when i was passive aggressive for a second while you were having anxiety I immediately felt so horrible. if anyone else in my life acted that way towards me, well, it's a moot point because no one else who I keep around in my life would dream of it. my therapist spends all this time trying to convince me that the people I love aren't going to abandon me if I let them see how I feel or let myself have my emotions in front of them but I guess she doesn't know you. i spend $100 a week trying to work through that shit so idk, pay me. I know alcohol plays a role in the whole thing but I also feel not into like using alcohol as a catch all excuse anymore in my life, obviously I still drink but its not a good excuse for being shitty to people you care about, or at least for not taking responsibility for it. If you want to explain where you were coming from or your perception of the situation go ahead, I will listen. slash read and consider. maybe my memory is off. I just want to say that like being able to identify why you acted shitty doesn't justify it. youre an adult and should be able to take responsibility for yourself when youre feeling insecure or whatever. you dont get to just lash out at people without consequences because you were feeling bad or anxious. I don't think you hurt me because youre like "hurting parker is just my idea of a good time." and even if I had been mad about something you did, which I wasn't, I don't understand how that really makes it okay either... If youre not a person I can feel safe like, crying in front of, telling you that I"m not mad at you but some hard feelings about sex were coming up for me and I was just processing it but it wasn't about you.... without you actively making me feel like shit for expressing that and like you would leave me as a result... how can i feel safe trusting you or like I can be myself around you? I mean especially as someone who is supposed to "love" and "care about" me sooo much who I've known forever, not some stranger... like if a tindr date said they were leaving bc I was crying, sure. but I think some tindr dates would be nicer than that. but you? I just don't know how you don't see that. as a side note I guess it did honestly feel hurtful that you lavish so much love and affection on me from afar and then so instantly feel certain you dont feel that way actually when were in person. i know you shrug it off, and I can't say I'm exactly mad about it cause I guess you can't help it, but it does make me feel like all that love wasn't real and theres something wrong with me or something you dont like when you actually have to be around me. you tease me about saying that 5 days seemed "daunting" to you but it did actually make me sad that we talk on a constant basis and then like the idea of seeing me was so hard. i mean obviously in retrospect you were "right" to be nervous or something but yea I guess I just like I feel some rejection when it comes to you especially seeing you "in person" which feels hard and disconcerting when u go back to being all like in love with me once you're gone, yea idk and just have this whole time struggled with feeling alternately like some rejection and then also like really intense validation. but so it goes. i guess thats just saying that even if this visit hadnt be like Bad Bad bt had just been lackluster it would have felt weird to go back to talking how we had been. but, who knows how this visit would have gone if that night hadn't happened, I know things were weird and off/awkward with us all weekend largely bc I didnt tell you how I was feeling but then also didnt know how to relax around you or be normal and yea that felt like no "spark" but maybe there wouldn't have been anyways, I don't know. I wish I'd said something sooner, also I hope you can understand why I didn't or was afraid to and who knows how the weekend would have gone if I had... maybe not any better, I dunno. but yea not texting you right now still feels hard and sad. I've wanted so badly to text you throughout the day. I know we have leaned on each other too much in order to not feel lonely but yeah so now I feel really lonely especially with sophie gone, I just felt soooo alone after you left. seeing you cry when I dropped you off made me want to take everything back and say I dont actually feel this way, I love you and of course you wont lose me, maybe I overreacted, etc etc just wanted to walk everything back. but I don't think I'm overreacting and idk I don't think that pretending everything is fine will fix anything... idk brian, i love you and I care about you and I can't imagine you not being in my life, although I guess you weren't really there for a bit. but sometimes people are friends for a long time and then they stop. I don't think I want that and I know you have been there for me in a lot of ways as well. I just dont know.. how do we interact in a way that isn't like codependently leaning on each other but isn't like distant and surface level either? I know you've said it was hard talking to me a ton after the last time we split , I know this sitch is different too but I dunno. I dunno how to find the right balance esp when I really am struggling to trust you in any sort of deep way. you also seemed to have this attitude of like "well I can't take it back now" and thats true but people/relationships do heal from hurt all the time it just takes a certain kinda work I don't feel that I will get from you.. happy to be proven wrong though.. I'm reading an article about "reforms" in the local sheriffs dept, they are getting body worn cameras and straight up saying the cops want them bc they think they will get the off the hook more often than not *~*~*I talked to kyle last night, cried some, anyways he hates you now. jk ish. definitely was like "wow fuck that guy." which wasn't actually what I had intended to convey. It's hard for me to talk to other people in my life here about anything with you because idk, your behavior sometimes is just so unreasonable and unkind on its face people always get so like against you if I actually tell them things you say to me and such, and then I feel like I'm actually in this position of just like trying to defend you and be like "no but he can be really great though and I really love him" and such. I've been in that dynamic before in "relationships" where I don't feel I can tell my friends about what is actually going on because then they will absolutely not support me being with that person and yea it's not great. I know that I know you better than they do and that you're really a very caring and loving person but its hard to reconcile that sometimes with your thoughtlessness at other times. I guess this is what you were talking about earlier in this whole thing.. about how far we've drifted apart, I guess in terms of who we surround ourselves with and such. I told kyle youre someone I've known and loved for long before I started having the current standards I have for people in my life. but, I'm also really deeply grateful you're in my life, and I'm glad to have had you come into my life when you did and to have stayed in it all this time.I felt so much better and less alone after talking to kyle and that helped clarify how much I was freaking out because of missing you versus how much i was freaking out about being alone. it was nice feeling like I could cry around someone about something that was hurting me and have it actually create intimacy rather than drive them away, as it should, so that was validating and healing in a way, like yea im not crazy. I don't want you to not be in my life. I want to continue having a close friendship with you that isn't like awkwardly not addressing unsaid things or like surface level and yeah like i want that trust back blah. and maybe I fucked that up by restarting things romantically when maybe we were on our way towards that again. arms sore like from adrenaline day 3 lol I'm getting pretty sad not talking to you or knowing how youre feeling. it's become less urgent because I don't feel lonely/alone anymore per se. getting a lot of comfort from kyle thats maybe weird/ co dependent in its own way, hes been staying in sophies room, making em coffee and breakfast in the mornings / walking me to work etc. yesterday had agood therapy session, then played cards with some rfiends, then met kyle at owls club and hung out with him and some nurses, then kyle stayed over and we talked until we were both falling asleep on the couches, tonight im maybe having dinner (sex? who knows? I think I dont want ot, I barely want to hang out with him at all it feels like a chore) tonight. still nothing physical with kyle, I wonder if cuddling may imminent, but idk.well so what im saying is when yo ufirst left I had this panicky feeling that I couldn't tell if was about fear of being alone or about missing you and the lsat few days I have felt better and less alone, and I sitll miss you, in a not urgent way but in a, I want to hear how you're doing and I want you in my life, way. I dont know brian. I feel I'm sort of processed what happened and I am mad indeed but as long as we know we can like never be involved romantically lol i can forgive that you have a lot of unhealed shit and act poorly a lot of the time in relationsihp idk. blabla. and not being involved romantically,well, it doesn't seem healthy to be so dependant on talking constantly so I don't think we can go back to that. but regularly, I would like.I dont want to not talk to you.

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