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weirdmarioenemies · 6 months

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Name: Neo Bowser City (aka Koopa City in PAL regions)

Debut: Mario Kart 7

Do you ever think of all the weird locations we only ever see in Mario Kart games? Despite being the biggest of all of Mario's spin-off franchises, when you really get down to it, remarkably few Mario Kart courses are actually based on established Mario locations!

It's not none, there's the occasional Donut Plains and Tick-Tock Clock and Airship Fortress, but most of the courses are these weird one-off locations we never see outside the context of that specific racetrack.

But have you ever taken a moment to step back and like, think of the Lore Implications of some of these places?

Like okay! Bowser just owns this whole dang cyberpunk city and we only ever see it in the context of Kart Racing! How messed up is that?!

One day Mario and Friends were looking for new places to race, and Bowser must have said something like "Gwah-hah-hah! I bet you puny punks could NEVER beat me in a race in my cyberpunk metropolis!" and right then and there it was established that Bowser owns a cyberpunk metropolis. Neo Bowser City is a city that exists in the Super Mario World and aside from returning in other Mario Kart games, it hasn't been acknowledged before or since.

Neo Bowser City first appeared in Mario Kart 7, as the third course in the Star Cup. Despite its flashy visuals, it actually doesn't really have a whole lot going on. It's a difficult track with some tight turns made more difficult by the rain making things more slippery, but besides that it doesn't really have any of the Wacky Obstacles that define so many Mario Kart courses.

Then it returned in Mario Kart 8 looking more gorgeous than ever! The bright colors really pop out, and the whole track is just oozing with detail that really emphasizes the scale of this city!

But like, the emphasized scale really only further raises the question of where this exists in the Mario World. Clearly, the fact that Bowser is plastered all over the billboards and the fact it's named "Neo Bowser City" helps us deduce that this city probably belongs to Bowser. Is this located in Bowser's Kingdom? Just how big is Bowser's Kingdom? And why does he own so many separate castles?

Maybe Neo Bowser City exists in the future? Is this a bad timeline? I mean, Mario Kart is allowed to have time-travel shenanigans. There's a Splatoon battle arena and that exists thousands of years in the future so sure, dust off Mario's Time Machine and head to the bad future where Bowser wins. Should've pressed that New Super Mario Bros. big yellow P-Switch!

I asked my friend Mod Chikako for their input and their theory is that Neo Bowser City isn't the future of Mario's world, but of our world. Clearly Bowser just couldn't take Wreck-It-Ralph losing the Oscar vote!

But in that case I guess it's a cooler cyberpunk future than the one we're living in right now. Corporate monopolies that run mass-surveillance with little government intervention due to their extreme wealth giving them extensive political power? No thank you! Neo Bowser City has bright neon colors, and flying cars! If I'm going to live in a dystopia, I want it to be a fun one. The only advertisements I want to see plastered everywhere are ones advertising Bowser!

Boo! That's the bad guy! Thumbs down!

The course returns again in that pitiful mobile game with another redesign, this time letting us see his Coney Island Disco Palace off in the distance. Does Bowser live in his Neo City? Is this worldbuilding we've been missing out on for decades, finally answered by a kart racer? Is this the capital city of Bowser's Kingdom? Am I once again falling victim to my perpetual hubris of overthinking the Mario franchise?

Really, I can't offer too much in terms of wacky fan theories, because I'm still thinking about this location existing in the first place. I'd love to know the Lore and worldbuilding here, but I guess the nature of Mario's canon is that it doesn't need to be over-analyzed. Bowser simply owns a cyberpunk metropolis, we'll only ever see it in the context of kart racing, and maybe that's okay.

Of course, this post wouldn't be complete if I didn't mention Dinohattan from the 1993 Super Mario Bros. Movie, which we've barely talked about on this blog somehow. You see, when the meteor hit, some of the dinosaurs escaped into a parallel timeline where they then evolved into humans, and then they built Dinohattan instead of Manhattan. Get it? Yeah, that movie is all sorts of bonkers. I wouldn't say it's very good, but I kinda love it. I'd recommend checking it out, if only to see a vastly different take on Mario than you'd be used to.

Anyway I bring this up because it's a completely separate instance of a version of Bowser building a large cyberpunk metropolis, and it actually predates Neo Bowser City! Do you think they could be connected? Are Dinohattan and Neo Bowser City one and the same...?

#neo bowser city #mario kart 7 #weird mario locations #mario kart 8 #mod hooligon #really mod chikako also helped contribute a few jokes to this post i gotta credit them #i've had this post sitting in the drafts for over a year and a half #no clue why i took so long to publish it it's basically been fully complete this whole time

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heartfullofleeches · 1 year

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Taste

Yandere Parasite x Reader (G.N x G.N)

A.N: A little fic with my 100% human, definitely not a cannibal oc asking if they can have just one little taste (left their gender as ambiguous for this particular post)

Warning: Slighty suggestive, mentions of cannibalism, but not directly towards reader, oral fixation

The butcher enters their home to the sound of roaring water. A warmth sits within their chest at the thought of sharing their home with another; hands clinching around the corners of the pink box they held. Nearly a year has place since they first began a relationship with you, and only a month since they've opened their doors. They figured by now it was time to considering how well your partnership had come, and they'd gotten rid of all the skeletons in their basement - so to speak.

Liu walks to the kitchen to set down the bakery box when their ears catch the click of a lock. They hear every footsteps, every little drop of water hitting the ground as you make your way through their home. They pretend to busy themselves with a random task until you eventually make your way into the room.

"Liu?"

They instantly drop the facade while turning to you. There you stood in all your glory; a towel around your neck and wearing the clothes you brought for the night over. Their eyes fall upon the exposed skin from the collar of your shirt, watching as beads of water drip down the damp skin.

"Y/n! Good evening."

Their lips curve into a smile with only the slightest hint of unease; tongue shifting against their lower jaw. What a blight their existence was. While they were able to control most urges that came over them, the one they battled most was seeking indulgement in the taste of your flesh. They'd never eat you, or even break the skin; casting the thought from mind before it could even start to sprout. They merely wished to know your flavor for curiosity sake, and the selfish comfort in knowing that no one could experience you in that way.

You join their side, staring quizzically at the box on the counter. Liu opens its lid to present an array of colorful cupcakes. They personally weren't a fan of sweets, but hoped they would satisfy some sweet tooth of yours.

"The owner of the bakery near my shop gave me these to try. A new recipe she wants to add I think. She's always trying to get me to enjoy sweets, but they're just not my things. I thought you might like them instead."

"Oh, sweet. Thanks." You pick up one of the cakes, biting down into it as you hold your other hand beneath to catch any crumbs. The force of your bite and you squishing it as you chomp down causes the treat's frosting to leak over the side. It drops onto your hand; your tongue fast to lick it away and leaving your palm with a slick trail.

"Can I have a taste?"

The question doesn't even felt like it's left their mouth until your gaze refuses to part from them. A streak of red crosses their dark features, but as you offer them the cupcake to try, they turn their head away. Though it's yet to slip, they feel the need to just get the ask over and done with in hopes of setting their desires for good.

"That's... not what I mean. I'd like to lick your hand."

They grow more worried at your lack of a response.

"I-it's not as bad as you think! Well- in some contexts it is, but I promise with you I only want to-"

You extend your hand. Liu almost wants to question your compliance, but feels it's best to not rock the boat - as well as further information you of the trouble you're getting into.

"I should probably warn you that my mouth isn't exactly.. normal."

"Just get on with it."

Liu takes your wrist without another word. There's still some frosting on your hand. They carefully lick it clean; an oddity quickly brought to attention. Their tongue was coarse. Similar to a feline or sandpaper, but the thickness of their saliva kept you from feeling its full force. It left a pinkish shine on your palm. To make things stranger, the muscle was abnormal long. It keeps its original length at the beginning of your wrist as they drag it upwards to the tips of your fingers.

"Just how long is this thing?" You flattening your hand against their tongue; flesh fluctuating as they breath around your fingers. You slide them into their mouth, careful of their fangs. Those you were well aware of before then. Liu's head feels light. The combination of your addictive skin, and the way your fingers run over the bumps in their tongue makes them feel strange. It moves further down your wrist to make room, wrapping fully around its width.

Saliva pools down both corners of their lips as you move your hand back and forth, intrigued by the way of emotion they were expressing. They usually keep all feelings to a minimum level, but now everything was all out for the open to see. A flushed face, eyes clouded by desire and affection. They feared they would be lost in the moment forever- until your scrap your finger on one of their teeth.

Liu's eyes widen as the droplet of blood hits their teeth. They hasty pull away, your entire hand left slick with a mixture of your own blood and their saliva. They take a step back, licking away the remains that coat their lips - shame clear as day across their fast once the dead is done.

"I'm so sorry. I'll go get you some bandages right now."

"It's okay, it's just a small scratch."

Ignoring you, Liu flees the scene faster than you can register - heading to wash the taste from their mouth before they could retain it to memory. While you wait for them to get back, you wash your hands clean and pick up the discarded cupcake as you take a seat at the table; tasting the spices that fill the dessert as you take a large bite.

#Liu my oc #yandere oc #yandere #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere insert #yandere headcanons #yandere blurb #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere teratophilia #yandere monster #yandere x y/n #yandere x darling #yandere drabble #yandere writing

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majorbaby · 1 year

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You might have talked about this before, and I love Hawk crying as much as anyone, but do you think the baby death was… maybe not fridging, but it always bugged me that they never showed the mother again and focused on his grief

oof, i have a lot of angst over what i perceive to be rampant misuse of the term 'fridging' because i come from marvel and dc comics fandoms and so does that word, which at one time had a very specific meaning, which i think you know because of how you wrote your ask.

actually when i first joined MASH fandom i saw a few people allege the 'fridging' of peg hunnicutt by beejhawk stans was a thing and i want to just go on record and say that i really strongly reject that assessment of beejhawk fanfiction in general. this only increased my fridging angst.

there can be genuine parallels between 'fridging' - the act of violently harming or killing a female character for the purpose of advancing a plot centered on a man (or, imo, giving a male character far more agency with which to react to some act of violence against a woman character than the woman herself is afforded) - and acts of violence against other equity-seeking groups (racialized people/BIPOC, neurodivergent people, disabled people, lgbtq+ people).

i would say for example that there are some similarities between the 'fridging' trope and 'the black guy dies first' - the similarities are that (1) some act of violence (violence being the operative word) has taken place (2) the victim or survivor is afforded no agency within the narrative to address what has happened to them and (3) this event is the catalyst for further developments in the narrative which heavily feature a white man and his reaction to the violent act.

so in GFA we have:

A violent act against an unnamed Korean baby

The baby cannot be 'impacted' by its own death (not an absolute statement on fiction in general, see: The Lovely Bones) - the person closest to the baby (the mother) exists only to smother her child and appear in Hawkeye's flashback

We open on Hawkeye in the sanitarium, he's there because the baby died, he only leaves once it's revealed that the baby died, and we see how this event affects him throughout the rest of the episode

So yeah, I'd say it's a fair comparison to make. Actually you could argue that the violent act does happen to the woman, because she's smothered her child to death, she did so at the behest of an American who should not be in Korea, who did that because Americans shouldn't have been in Korea.

I actually did vent about this somewhat on GFA day (though not in any kind of detail) because I saw a couple of dead baby memes on the dash and that made me very uncomfortable. Not because I don't think it's possible to joke or meme about serious subject matter, but because it further decontextualizes the pain and suffering of the Korean people in the Korean war, on top of how GFA (and MASH) already did that.

(I have a longer post in the drafts about multiple degrees of decontextualization and GFA and MASH in general specifically prompted by "chicken-baby" memes but I have no idea when I'll publish it or if it will end up being a text post at all)

i don't really have a solution to offer tho, because i do think it makes sense that the death of a child is the thing that finally breaks Hawkeye, who is otherwise shown to be quite resilient. He survives the death of Tommy on his table in Sometimes You Hear the Bullet, he processes a deep-seated childhood trauma in Bless you Hawkeye, and by GFA in general we can say he's got have grown somewhat used to the constant assault on his senses.

I guess that's why I'm so irked by the 'further decontextualization' bit. Fridge me once, shame on you, fridge me again and again and again and again... and that's continued to happen to women, racialized characters in the larger media landscape, while these events are memed and real-life violence against women is so deeply ingrained in our culture.

It's the larger context of where this stuff happens that bothers me I guess. The Korean character most often referred to by the fandom is a dead baby, and usually as an (unfunny!) punchline, rather than a legitimately harrowing memory that probably haunts Hawkeye for the rest of his life.

#child death #mash #re: mash #race on mash #goodbye farewell and amen #fridging #maybe i need to revisit my unpublished fridging essay...#thank you for this very interesting ask btw

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retphienix · 2 years

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@sont

(Even though I've little to add I wanted to make it a post since the replies are becoming lengthy)

(This is in response to a thread discussing just how significant the overhaul to HH in Rise actually is, and how upsetting this can be since you don't get to opt in or out, and how the Rise HH should/could have been a 15th weapon- and I agree and consider the context of just how big a change it was / how it's not optional in Rise is good for the discussion on Rise HH- both for the positives and negatives of it.)

(Side note, on the positive side for people who prefer non-Rise HH, there's like, literally no way my beloved Rise HH gets to continue on in the next monhun ;_;, but at least I still like classic HH and outside of Rise I've always been a GS main so I'll survive)

THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO ADDING MORE SUPPORT WEAPONS AND SO MANY FUN HH DESIGNS THAT COULD BE ADJUSTED TO FIT IT!

I'm not particularly picky on how it'd be implemented (beyond gameplay, please let me use Echo 😔(Performance is fine too but...)), but I would love to see it attempted.

Not to literally counterplay you're proposal- just to BS my ideas because the overall idea is SO SICK- Maybe Flute can be all about being a DPS half support, aggressive moveset (as we know), and reliable uptime on their songs, but lower the efficacy of their songs.

So Flute could be in charge of all the generally unappealing or tertiary songs of monhun, things like (old, not elem res +10 version)blight resist, wind, tremor, maybe specific element defenses like Fire Res songs. And the understanding would be that it's a general DPS weapon that applies basic buffs and you can reliably have them up the whole hunt.

HH could have their songs efficacy improved even further potentially, from the 20%s of old to 30% perhaps. I'm not saying it because the sheer existence of Flute would require a buff, but just because I fuckin' love HH (old and new) so Capcom buff HH more for no reason lol

But truly, having HH's music library tilt more towards actually impactful songs- maybe (probably best to avoid overlap to grant identity to both) overlapping with Flute songs but better versions perhaps (Like Tremor + Wind (maybe even + Earplugs) on one song vs Flute needing 2 songs), mostly just the concept of HH bringing the damage boosting stuff and the VERY GOOD assist songs like Sharpness modifiers and Flute being the side-grade songs sounds cool to me.

Flute and Horn weapon designs being similar as if they are part of a band along monster trees sounds so fucking cool.

God, generally hype at just the thought of granting HH even better "Buff" songs and taking the 'fluff' and applying it to Rise HH- it genuinely sounds like a fun way to handle it.

Oh, and since I sadly don't have the most to add to the following discussion you shared beyond the usual "Yep, that's the thing" I'll simply say it and nod supportingly your way because that's valid arguin' on preference:

You're statement on how Rise's switch skills lead to some overwhelming experiences, offered unfair benefit and preference to certain weapons, and took away part of the appeal of mastering a weapon that stays the same from day 1 to 100 and only you improve- all valid takes.

There's a lot to be said on the spinoff's switch skill mechanic. Honestly, most of my takes are positive- but only under the guise of it being a spinoff. Like, if Capcom came out and said "Switch skills are staying forever!" I'd be WAY more critical of them.

As they are, they grant me a lot of variety and appeal to weapons I didn't appreciate as much before.

But.

It also entirely broke balance in this game lol. And it killed identity for some weapons, and it DOES make the game more complicated in ways that can be overwhelming, and it DOES hold some weapons back until you unlock the proper switch skills-

AND IT BECOMES TWICE AS COMPLICATED WITH SWITCH SKILL SWAP-

it does all that and more, but I like it in isolation for one title.

I arguably feel the way you seem to about Rise, about Gen lol

I find Gen overwhelming and messy with all the styles and arts, it's a god dang cacophonous mess of options.

But that's also kind of the point of Gen? So I'm not 'mad' at it, it's just not my flavor of monhun.

I spent all my time in base Gen playing Guild Style Great Sword, IE, I was handed a game with a billion options, got overwhelmed, became grumpy, and decided to just pretend it didn't exist lol

I kinda regret that, I wanna give GU more of a fair shake since it's obviously NOT the future of monhun- it's a one-off spinoff expressing its own unique identity, I can respect that.

Not to imply a read on how you feel about Rise, just to share my experience of feeling a previous spinoff "Was good at what it wanted to do, and not for me" lol

Overwhelming options are a thing, and can be annoying as hell.

ANYWAYS. MORE SUPPORT WEAPONS!

HUNTING FLUTE OR BUST, CAPCOM!

Also that Lance support idea I keep bringing up, come on Capcom, give us more support weapons because it's neat and grants the community some variety beyond "Which DPS stick do you prefer?"

#Monster Hunter Rise #Monster Hunter #Monhun #Sunbreak #Responses

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2n2n · 2 years

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Thoughts on the last chapter? Do you like it, Hate it? Why do you think Sakura wants to tell Yashiro what she want to know? What is she after? And about what she said about Tsukasa. "Though there is little time until the boundary collapses… the eyes of that boy cannot reach us". Does this confirm your theory about Tsukasa and while the boundary is collapsing he cannot see a thing because he will be unconscious while getting the power of the destroyed yorishiro back? Because the panel showed him to be somehow unconscious and Sakura said she wants to use this particular time. What do you think?

LOVED IT so on board extremely jazzed really really really idealistic and honestly 'went further' both with its messaging and romance than I ever thought it would. Made me really feel the fear of God about the ramifications all of this has for romance in this manga. THE RAMIFICATIONS FOR THE SHINJUUUUUU!!! Didn't think it could get so raw. Would lay down my body for AidaIro to use as a bridge or something if they needed…. I'll lay in puddles for them to crosss..... art… poetry….. romance….. it couldn't get better for me. All of my chickens are coming home to roost. I trust the process.

I think as with the teaparty chapter, that Sakura feels a kinship with Nene as a result of being a similar sort of person to her. If Sakura really does have 'special powers', then she's just like Nene-- and maybe just like Nene, has a history of being manipulated or exploited by others due to those powers. I'm sure having any sort of 'powers' just leads to you becoming conscripted into other's service and obligated to certain tasks… people like Nene or Sakura are very rare (Teru calls Nene special...).... I doubt Sakura's has had much opportunity to ever meet another girl like herself, and nobody but her is ever going to understand the position Nene is forced into, the burdens they share, as a result of being born different.

So… even if it's all necessary… I think Sakura doesn't like Nene being left clueless, with no agency, and wants to at least offer her some context, so that she's not so helpless and confused. Maybe Sakura's been helpless and confused, before, or wasn't explained all the ramifications of whatever her position entailed, in this school. I don't think it's to undermine Tsukasa, as much as it's just to help Nene feel more in-control or, like, able to understand anything... to treat her with respect, maybe a respect Sakura was not granted in her time. Must be hard for a girl with special powers, to watch another girl with special powers be strung around. Nene is reduced to her Kannagi status in proceedings. I'm sure Sakura's experienced equivocal dehumanization. Da girliez relate.....

I hadn't at all thought of that Tsukasa panel as literal, actually! It's hard for me to sayyy, 'cuz Koku-Joudai was extant and chilling during Yako's yorishiro destruction. Koku-Joudai seemed perfectly capable of spying and existing in the boundary during events…. but I don't really know what that means for Tsukasa, if his body itself could have been deep in his shrine or whatever while the orbs do stuff? I have no idea how much those orbs are a part of them…. I mean, the body was too 'weak' before to leave at all, while Koku-joudai could do the crane thing, so.....? Maybe the body and the orbs can carry out distinct different functions during a yorishiro peeling?

I'd wanna just say something like "well, within a boundary you're obliged to the rules of the person running it, like Shijima-san removing Hanako's Tsueshiro, so maybe Hakubo and Sumire are capable of creating privacy", but Tsukasa gets to fling Shijima-san around all that he wants despite being in her shrine, and poofs himself around it as he pleases, presumably because he himself is more relatively holy at that point than the shrine's master.

We have no idea what Tsukasa is up to for the latter half of Picture Perfect. I don't know if he has the ability to poof himself out of there whenever he wishes, if he started waiting in his boundary for Nene to peel it, or, what. We don't see him after he's sent Shijima-san away. Clearly if he can send her and Nene anywhere, he isn't shackled to Shijima-san's strict 'no leaving' policy which applied to everyone else. While Yashiro peels the seal, Tsukasa isn't seen, and walks into her art room some time later, not immediately after. So…. I don't …. know …. he could have been waiting in his shrine once things were set in motion, or he could have been hanging out in the PP world while Nene peeled it, who knows….?

… So anyway, based on all of that feeble knowledge: No idea why he can't see the boundary during its collapse. Not something we have enough information on for me to comfortably say anything, no idea where he was at for previous collapses…. I don't know if it's the nature of this collapse, it being a slower/gradual proceeding, or No. 6 being a substantial mystery……? Or… if you're right, and he's always been powered down for power re-absorption, and we just haven't explicitly seen it. I think Koku-Joudai being present in Yako's boundary pre-and-post-collapse is my biggest confusion, but we don't know wtf those things are, yet, so… maybe they don't need to be there for whatever is going on ….. maybe Tsukasa is in a big basket like a kitten snuggled around his radio receiving all that God juice every time.

#avvy's JSHK

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charlesemersonwinchesteriii · 3 years

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posts like yours are why i don't trust tumblr's reviews of shows. the mash character who dresses in drag does so in a failed bid to be discharged for insanity and is mocked ceaselessly, but for some reason young millennials and zoomers can't read narrative tone insist that any straight mockery of queer practice is in fact inclusion and representation, and is worthy of no warning or condemnation. So, good on you for not allowing terfs onto your blog, but no points for context awareness.

Hello! Apologies that I took so long to respond to this ask; I’ve had a lot going on.

I'm so sorry you felt misled by my post :( I certainly never meant to deceive anyone with it. I've actually received multiple responses to it that are similar to yours, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to offer my perspective on this topic, if that's OK! :)

Firstly, various people have replied to my post by explaining Maxwell Klinger's Section 8 scheme subplot to me. People seem to treat this as a rebuttal that disproves a claim I made, which is puzzling to me because this is the only thing I said about Maxwell in the aforementioned post:

“this guy walks around a 1950s military outpost in drag and everyone’s just like hey nice dress.”

So as you can see, I only state two canon facts here:

1) Maxwell wears dresses.

2) Other characters compliment his outfits. (If you'd like proof of this one, please allow me to direct you to this wonderful clip compilation :D)

People seem to read into what I said a lot, which is unfortunate! I specifically did not give any further details about this aspect of the show because I think Maxwell's character has many different possible interpretations and I did not want to discuss that complexity in the course of my joke.

Now, regarding the idea that Maxwell is "mocked ceaselessly" by the other characters / the narrative: I don't feel that way myself, but I completely understand why you do! I personally believe that there are a variety of ways to read the narrative tone of M*A*S*H. The show is at least partially a comedy and humor is, of course, highly subjective. Even the simple inclusion/removal of the laughtrack makes a world of difference in the tone of many scenes. Perhaps a line that I view as Hawkeye laughing with Maxwell, you view as Hawkeye laughing at him. That's part of why I think this show is so interesting!

(As a side note, for personal real life reasons I sadly haven't been able to rewatch M*A*S*H in a while, and I've doubtless forgotten quite a bit of it. If you'd like to share some specific moments you were bothered by, maybe I could give you an alternate perspective on them? ^_^)

Now, you may be saying that the intent of the writers was always to mock Maxwell, no matter how we, the audience, choose to interpret the show. I'm sure that's at least mostly if not entirely true, and I would never fault someone for refusing to watch M*A*S*H because of it. However, I feel that this is an issue inherent to the circumstances under which the show was created. In my opinion, it is impossible to expect a character like Maxwell to exist in an American sitcom from the 1970′s without such problematic origins. As a queer person, I recognize that when engaging with any media, I must either be prepared to look past intent and seek to reclaim and reinterpret stories and characters for myself, or else be severely limited in the queer representation I am able to find.

Additionally, I'd like to address your claim that I and others don't find any homophobia or transphobia in M*A*S*H to be worthy of warning and condemnation. With all due respect, I really don't think you can make that assumption of someone from a blog post, or even a whole blog. The mere fact that something has aspects deserving of condemnation doesn't mean that it has to be condemned every time it's mentioned; that would be a little impractical, if nothing else. ;P

As a matter of fact, I think there are a whole bunch of things about M*A*S*H that are terrible! Racism, sexism, and plain old bad writing, to name a few. But surely you realize I could not have feasibly listed warnings for everything bad about the show in my post, yes?

Which brings me to the most important thing I'd like to say: You say you can't trust Tumblr reviews of shows, and you are correct! (Especially if you count silly little posts like mine as "reviews", which I'm very flattered you did! ^_^) You should always do your research on things and never rely solely on random posts posted by random people with blogs. They may be lying, or be exaggerating, or be misinformed.

Or, like me, they may simply be telling a joke that they didn't realize 45,000 people would hear.

In the end, my personal stance on this particular issue is as follows: Maxwell Q Klinger is a gender-non-conforming AMAB character created in an incredibly homophobic and intolerant environment who is not punished by the narrative for his queer attributes. He is never beaten up or attacked with slurs or killed off. Instead, he is a complex, unequivocally good and moral person who is loved and supported and receives the happiest ending of any of the main characters of the show. While there is a whole host of things to complain about in regards to the writing of this character and of M*A*S*H in general, I believe his existence is overall a wonderful thing and should be celebrated. ^_^

#Maxwell Q Klinger #MASH #Highly intrigued by the points system anon has apparently established. I'd love to learn what other means are available to recoup my score!#Perhaps they are service points :') just like in the Korean War :')#Starky loves Anons #Starky Loves Answering Questions

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lokeanwelcomingcommittee · 3 years

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I have been afraid that Loki has left, moved away from me. Communication is one sided. I put off asking someone to do a reading for me (I couldn't seem to get anywhere at all with divination myself- nothing made sense, all over the place) because I thought, "Well what if they confirm that he's gone? You'd be so upset. Better to leave things as they are" Well I wish I had heeded my own warnings! It was confirmed that he isn't around any more. She said that is wasn't anything I'd done, and - contd

(part 2 re Loki leaving) and she said, "He certainly isn't made at you" but that he said he couldn't help me any more. There are, she said, 2 other deities, one male one female, who want to help me, and with Loki's blessing. I am heartbroken. & I know this sounds immature, but the honest truth is, I don't want another god. I feel like, well that's it then. It's you and Sigyn (she seems also to have left) or no one. I know that's stupid and silly and ungrateful, childish.

(part 3) My altar is jointly his and Sigyn's (also gone, it feels so) and everything on it has been carefully chosen and offered and I felt accepted at the time. What on earth do I do with it all now? SO much, collected over 2 years. My heart breaks all over again to see it. It's the full length of a big windowsill. Books, too, so many. Maybe I should pass them on. So much on them. So much FOR them. I know this sounds whingey, sorry. I just don't know what to do form here on. -LokiNewbieWitchy

Hi,

As a beginning disclaimer, I follow the asker's blog and have conversed with them about this previously, so I am writing this reply with that context in mind. I would likely respond pretty differently were this a random anon with no other background than what's in the ask, such as explaining fallow times, encouraging further readings, waiting, etc. But having confirmed they have done all that and are basically just confirming what they already felt to be the case for quite awhile, this is different.

With that out of the way, @lokinewbiewitchy, you really don't have to apologize for being emotional about this! You're allowed to grieve. It's normal. I'm sure it was really hard for Loki and Sigyn too. You also shouldn't beat yourself up for being brave and facing the issue and confirming where you stand. It's what Loki, or anyone who truly cares about you, would want.

Acknowledging and processing the pain is actually one of the best things you can do right now, because it does hurt. I've had relationships with gods end. I've had my own relationship with Loki change in dramatic ways over the years. I've seen friends "handed off" to other deities. And it's never easy, even when you know it's for the best.

I know you put so much work and time and devotion into your worship--I admired your snakebite charity deal, and used it as an example of "cool causes devotees donate to" quite a few times. But that work wasn't wasted. It still helped people, and Loki's cause. The time wasn't wasted. You still have a lot of great memories and grew as a person. And in Loki's own words, you didn't do anything wrong. He just thinks he isn't the best one to help you right now. He's a god of change, and he's never one to hold off on change for the better just because change hurts.

One thing to consider is that this may not be the permanent end of the relationship. It could potentially just be a break, while you work on the stuff you need to work on with those better equipped to help you. This doesn't mean you should just sit around waiting for Loki and Sigyn to come back, as that would probably just delay the healing you need. But it would explain why he didn't offer some more permanent closure much earlier.

It also means you might want to hold off on getting rid of all your altar stuff. Like, it is your stuff, and if it hurts to have it around, or you feel moved to donate it to someone else, that's your right. But if you have the space and ability to pack it away, it may be of use again someday.

In the meantime, you might want to consider reaching out to those two other deities. They aren't going to be able to replace Loki and Sigyn, in the sense that they aren't Loki and Sigyn, but odds are high that they've dealt with similar situations before and will at least be able to help comfort you. You don't have to trust them right away, or start worshiping them right away, or do anything you don't want to do. But if Loki pointed you toward them, it's probably worth at least introducing yourself and seeing where, if anywhere, it goes.

Who knows? It might be the start of some great relationships. Polytheists are allowed and encouraged to worship multiple deities, so it's not like you're "cheating" on Loki and Sigyn or diminishing your love for them by building relationships with others. In fact, I've found that new devotional relationships can actually deepen existing ones if approached correctly. For one thing, it emphasizes that you're there by choice. You're devoted to them because you want to be, not because they're the only god who will bother with you. It also highlights what's valuable and unique in your specific relationship.

From your posts, it sounds like the reading really resonated with you and what you were feeling in your gut already, and I'm definitely not trying to cast doubt on that if that's the situation you're in. But if I've gotten the wrong impression, and it somehow feels off, or you have any reason to doubt it, you wouldn't be doing anything wrong by doing one last reading of your own to back it up, looking for confirmation elsewhere, etc. You can't bring Loki back by getting different divination results if he is in fact gone, but your gut telling you something is off is generally worth listening to.

Best wishes going forward. I know it's rough now, but things will get easier if you give it time.

- Mod E

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mellometal · 3 years

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Do we have ANOTHER Dhar Mann video to rip apart today? Yes, we do.

This one is a real specimen...a real treat, if you will. I'm gonna have a field day with this. Today, we'll be talking about how to actually treat disabled people! Specifically physically disabled people! This is something I have a bit of a specialty in, since I do work with disabled people for a living.

This is a VERY recent video, by the way. When I watched this, it made my blood boil seeing how this disabled woman was being treated. Reading some of the comments people were making took everything in me to not scream at them through my phone. Why? I had the shadow of a doubt that they were probably very young and have never been around disabled people before...even though they very well probably have, but didn't realize it.

Before I begin, there's A LOT of ableism that I'm going to talk about. If that triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to scroll past this and consume content that sparks joy.

To sum up the video, a disabled woman was getting out of her truck in the parking lot, intending to do some grocery shopping. An able-bodied woman (Karen) comes up to this woman to ask her a whole bunch of questions, try to help her unload things out of her truck (when she didn't need any help in the first place), and "tried to relate" by saying that she was in a wheelchair for two weeks in high school. Please don't do that.

Karen touched this woman's wheelchair without her consent and attempted to push her when she never asked for any help.

NEVER touch a disabled person, their wheelchair, walker, motor scooter, cane, etc. (medical equipment, essentially), without their consent. Unless the disabled person cannot move around on their own, they give you their consent, you're their caretaker, family members, or a professional who works with disabled people, don't touch them or their equipment. Even then, it never hurts to ask them first, especially if you're a new caretaker or a new professional in their home and they don't know you very well. If they tell you "no" and/or the person/people with them say "no", it means "no" and you need to leave them alone. If they tell you that they don't need your help, to leave them alone, or anything else along those lines, those phrases also mean "no". If they say they need help or they ask for help, of course, help them.

(ETA: Wheelchairs, walkers, motor scooters, canes, etc., are part of the physically disabled person. These things are how they move around. I meant this in the, "Don't touch THEM." kind of sense. Just thought I'd clarify real quick.)

Karen then pulled out her phone to take a picture with the disabled woman, despite her saying she didn't want to have pictures being taken of her. Karen POSTED IT ON HER SOCIAL MEDIA. The disabled woman says to Karen to leave her alone, stop worrying about her, and that she doesn't need any help.

In the store, the disabled woman is just getting some groceries...like anyone else would. She gets her reaching tool out to grab an item off the top shelf behind Karen, who makes a tasteless joke about how she should give her a speeding ticket. The disabled woman makes a remark that her legs may not work, but her eyes do. She grabs a bottle of blue cheese dressing off the top shelf with her reaching tool, which Karen grabs for her without asking.

Karen crouches down to talk to the disabled woman, which makes the woman understandably uncomfortable. The woman tries to put her groceries on the counter to pay for them, which Karen butts in YET AGAIN. The woman is obviously fed up at this point, rightfully so. Karen then offers to pay for this woman's groceries, which wasn't necessary whatsoever. Why? Because she "felt bad" for her and has the assumption that disabled people "don't have a lot of money". She also asked the disabled woman what happened for her to be in a wheelchair, which is something that I've only heard of CHILDREN asking. (That's none of your business, by the way. It's up to that person to tell you.)

Listen, disabled people don't need to be pitied. They're disabled. It is what it is. Being disabled isn't a disease, so please stop treating it like it is. As far as disabled people not having a lot of money, that's not exactly true for every aspect of life. They're not allowed to have any more than $2,000 in assets each month along with their benefits. They do have money, and the amount all depends on the person. You cannot just bunch up all disabled people's income as the same. Some disabled people don't have SSI. If they get married, their income gets even lower or they lose benefits completely, which is extremely fucked up and makes them more vulnerable to being exploited, abused, and controlled. Marriage equality STILL doesn't exist because disabled people are STILL not being treated as equals in marriages. Some places only pay disabled employees like $3.34 an hour or something crazy like that (that's how much Goodwill pays disabled employees, by the way). The working conditions for disabled people NEED to change. Give them a livable wage. You CANNOT live off of $3.34 an hour. Make companies give necessary, legal accommodations to disabled people. They have a right to their assets and to keep them, regardless of whether they get married or not. Why would you reduce that or take that away from them? Do you even know what their benefits go towards? THEM BEING ABLE TO LIVE, IN LAYMAN'S TERMS. All in all, help make the world a better place for disabled people. (Edited for new information.)

She pulls out her phone AGAIN to take pictures with the disabled woman, who puts her hand up to the phone and says she doesn't want to have pictures being taken of her. Karen then says that she's "just trying to spread awareness"....disabled people aren't a disease. They're not a danger to you. All disabled people ask for is to be accepted, treated like everyone else, and to have accommodations readily available for them. People are already aware of the existence of disabled people.

The disabled woman is clearly very fed up and wants to get back to her truck and go to wherever she needs to be, Karen goes out to confront her "for being rude", and the disabled woman confronts Karen for being extremely rude to her and stomping all over her boundaries. This woman was VERY polite too. Actually, WAY too polite. A lot of people in the comments section seemed to misunderstand her justified anger and wrote it off as her being a bitch. If you were a disabled person who's completely independent, you had some stranger randomly come up to you to ask twenty questions, they were constantly harassing you, touching you without your consent, shoving their phone or camera in your face to take pictures of you even when you told them you weren't okay with that, belittled you, and boiled you down to your disability, YOU'D BE PISSED TOO.

This woman tells Karen to not assume that disabled people all are completely helpless and can't do anything for themselves, that she's more than her disability, and to respect people. Karen apologizes (finally) and briefly explains that she thought she was trying to do a good deed. The woman says that she knows people have good intentions, but they again, shouldn't assume that all disabled people need their help. Especially when they don't ask for it. Plot twist: she owns her own company and is rich! (There are/have been rich disabled people; however, I can only name a few off the top of my head.)

Only then does Karen FINALLY decide to delete the picture she posted of this woman that she took without her consent. And it ends there.

(Context: The disabled woman told Karen that she didn't need her to push her....and yet Karen tries to anyway.)

This isn't okay. Karen should have left this woman alone after she told Karen to do so.

Taking pictures of people, despite them telling you that they don't want to take pictures, and posting them on social media without their consent for clout! What's that called again? Hmmmm....I know! EXPLOITATION! And being an extremely disrespectful sack of shit.

Again....if they say "no" or anything else along those lines, IT MEANS NO.

Onto my response. Again, like usual, it's a long response.

This is pretty much what I've said earlier...but like, seriously. If you want to help disabled people, THAT'S GREAT! You can try getting a job at a place that helps disabled people! You can volunteer!

Just....don't be like Karen in this video. Enough said. I don't think I need to elaborate further on that.

#mello speaks #dhar mann #dhar mann talk #dhar mann is a piece of human garbage #please stop supporting dhar mann #tw ableism #dhar mann will live to regret his decision to make these fucked up cringe videos #dhar mann will live to regret his decision uwu #tw dhar mann

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mostly-mundane-atla · 4 years

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Happily, @basilgarden !

First, though, I'd like to establish some things.

Sex work doesn't make anyone "dirty" or "used up" and being a sex worker doesn't mean one is a "slut" or that they have no standards. (I could go on and on about how the stigma comes from a specific intersection of misogyny and classism, but that's a different topic, for perhaps another blog.) All it means is that the worker needed money then and there. Maybe it was to make rent on time, or to feed their kids, or maybe they have people breathing down their neck about a debt they need to pay back. It could be anything and it's not anyone's place to judge it as a good reason or a bad reason.

What makes the idea of Jin as a sex worker so interesting to me is that it makes sense in a socio-economic context. Sex work always booms in times and places with massive economic inequality, which Ba Sing Se has in spades. Wartime, whether or not the country or city state is involved, tends to create shortages, driving up prices and making some necessary items not realistically available. This leads to more people taking on sex work to suppliment their income.

The other thing I like about the concept of Jin as a sex worker is that sex workers never really get to be just regular human people? There are exceptions to this, of course (Nancy from Oliver Twist, Jenny from The Threepenny Opera, and the Harlots series just like in general come to mind), but sex workers are more likely to be used as sexy props or background characters that the audience can dump all their pity or disgust onto. On the occasion that we do get a fully developed sympathetic character who ends up doing sex work, it's usual portrayed as a heavy moral or social transgression. She (as this character is almost always a woman) is depicted as devolving from a human being to a sex worker. (Examples listed above are also exceptions to this.) It certainly showcases prejudices so many people have against sex work and workers, but it's not especially comforting or encouraging to those who consider it just a facet of their reality. That's not the case with Jin. She's just living her life, and it's not subject to anyone else's approval.

And there's another nice thing about this normalcy; it means she feels safe. In an ideal world she wouldn't work so young, but she's able to go about the city without fear of assault or harassment from strangers due to her line of work. I'd like to think it's something she keeps quiet. Maybe she has a small clientele consisting of boys (and maybe girls) her own age, because teenage hormones seem to come out of nowhere and they don't give you a guide on how to deal with them. They like her because she's patient with them and doesn't mock their shyness and always asks, "Do you want this?" and doesn't proceed until they say yes. Knowing how these things tend to work, she probably has at least one older, more experienced worker looking out for her and keeping her as safe as they can.

As for Iroh hiring her, she seems to have already been frequenting their shop and starting to crush on Zuko. Iroh is a good man and finally starting to get some money, so why wouldn't he offer to pay a girl for following up on a request for something she already considered, making ammends to the citizens of Ba Sing Se one person at a time? I'm not entirely convinced that Jin would take the money. Maybe if it was close to what she would normally charge, but if it was something more extravagant as Iroh seems more inclined to, she probably wouldn't feel comfortable taking it. If anything I'd think she'd take being offered payment as permission to ask Zuko on a date.

I don't think she would have asked Zuko without any sort of go-ahead to suggest it was something Zuko himself might want. If she goes to the tea shop because he works there and she wants to ask him out, she is the customer in that situation and he is the service worker. It would put him in an awkward situation where, as far as he knows, turning her down could offend her, leading to her no longer patronizing the shop which would make his boss angry with him for losing them a regular customer. We don't know what kind of workers' rights or lack thereof exist in Ba Sing Se, and I doubt Zuko, an obvious newcomer, would know either. Jin seems a decent enough person that she wouldn't want to put her crush in such a position, so regardless of who approached whom, I'm sure Iroh gave her the idea that Zuko would like to go on a date with her.

And before I wrap this up, I just want to say that as much as I love this concept, Jin isn't the first one I'd guess was a sex worker. Of the entire cast of Avatar characters, if someone told me one of them was involved in sex work and asked me to guess which one it was most likely to be, my money would be on Jet. I'll elaborate further if anyone's interested, but this post is already too long.

(Edit: I have written a separate post about Jet, right here in case you'd like to read it.)

#response #sex work mention #sorry it took me a while #and it's a bit too long #i have a lot of thoughts

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delightfulstarlightparadise · 4 years

Text

Imagine Katsuki Bakugo/Reader part 4

Part 3 here:

Once again I say that English is not my native language. But, I am doing my best.

Secondly, it has been a while since I last watched or read BNHA so there might be some stuff out of the anime context.

After Kirishima forces you into making friends with the gang you start seeing Bakugo more and more, until a day he tricks you into going to the movies with him by asking where you had bought some snacks you had brought to gaming night. Bakugo says he had found out you like him and after telling you he thinks you are intelligent, strong and pretty he kisses you. Now, you are dating.

This part will start showi g up some of how your relationship goes.

The next day

You can't believe how well the date went, how Bakugo has kissed you, how much you had fun picking snacks while also picking at each other. You also competed on who was going to pay for everything you chose. Bakugo won by scaring the hell out of the cashier:

"if you get y/n's money, I'll blow you out of existence." he said while blowing up a pack of snacks.

He bought you so many of your favorite snacks you didn't even know what to do with that many. (Take some time to picture that)

When you came back Midoriya, Uraraka, Iida and Todoroki were sitting at the common room. You waved at them and smiled. They waved back, confused. You weren't used to doing it.

Bakugo stopped by your dorm room.

"So... what do you do on Sundays?" he asked you while leaning against the door.

"I usually train and study."you replied.

"Nerd."

"It is not like I have much else to do. I don't have a strong quirk like you, I need to take great efforts to become a hero like my Uncle." you said, a little annoyed by his mockery.

"Aizawa isn't even on the top 5 heroes." Bakugo said, shaking his shoulders.

"Not everyone is aiming that high,Ba... Katsuki."

He smiled to hear you call him by his first name and stood straight, changing sides with you, making you step back, against the door.

"I need to beat you in everything even more now. I don't accept losing to someone who doesn't know their own potential." he said, getting his face close to yours.

"I can't say if this is a compliment." you say, turning your face to the side to avoid him.

"It's not."

As he says that, he opens the door and pushes you in. You almost fall, but he comes inside and holds you by the waist. Your faces are close together, you are pretty sure you are about to kiss again.(if you are taller than him, Bakugo has leant you on his arms)

He rests his lips on your forehead and steps back.

"Bye." he says, leaving and closing the door behind him.

You sit down in your bed, shaken.

...

There you are, in your special tracksuit training early in the morning. You had already run and worked out and now you are training your punches and kicks on the punching bag.

Sunddely, you hear an explosion and it comes back to you with a blast. You dodge with a backflip and look behind to see it exploding against the wall.

"Come on Bakugo! This is the fourth one this week!" You hear someone complaining.

He is standing in front of you with an obsessive smile. You don't even stop to think and jump, hanging yourself on a workout bar on the roof as Bakugo attacks with another explosion.

You swing and jump behind him, throwing a punch on his face. He dodges and advances to you with one hand aiming at your belly. You flip to the side as it explodes in the air and you kick him in his back making him drop on the floor while you backflip to get far from him.

Everyone else in the training room is now against the walls watching in horror as Bakugo stands up looking really mad, his hands are already making lots of little explosions.

He runs towards you, but you jump over his head and turn with a kick. He holds your leg, laughing and pulls you towards him, holding your whole face with his ingnite hand.

"FUCK!" you say as the pain of the explosion gets deep in your head.

Everyone screams in terror and then again in surprize when they see you picking a barbell and hitting Bakugo with it in the stomach. He flies away from you, to the fighting mat in the middle of the training room.

You stand up licking your flamed lip while it gets healed by your quirk.

"Ok, now it is for real." You say, letting go of the barbell and walking towards him.

Bakugo stands up and cleans his training suit, putting himself in his famous fighting position.

Everyone gathers around to see you train against each other. They cheer everytime they see you healing from Bakugo's explosions and landing a hit on him. They also cheer when they see Bakugo hiting you with a point-blank explosion.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" you hear someone scream.

Everyone shuts up and you and Bakugo stop fighting for a moment, as you see Aizawa showing up from the little crowd.

"Unc... Professor Aizawa." You say, swallowing your breath in.

"Y/n and Bakugo are taking a match for 30 minutes now!" Denki says. You handn't seen him there. "It is amazing!"

"Y/n? Against Bakugo?" Aizawa says looking from you to Bakugo many times. "Against Bakugo?" he says one more time, in desbelief.

Aizawa lets a small smile come up to his face. He seems to be a little proud of you. He then gets back to his usual grumpy face.

"Ok, just keep it down, there are people trying to sleep." he says, and leaves, yawning as always.

You barely have time to celebrate that small victory. Bakugo gets right to your ear with an explosion.

...

He gives you a bottle of water from his bag. You are sitting outside, both with some wounds and tired. You were the one to give up when you noticed he started getting to hit you way too many times and some of your healings were becoming small scars. Also, your clothes wouldn't take much more of that even though they were made to stand a battle.

"Does it hurt?" he asks you while he throws some water in his face.

You get distracted by it, seeing the water run through his neck and chest and some steam coming up. And his caramel smell was the strongest you had ever scented.

"Hey!" he calls you back to your senses, giving a little smirk to notice you were admiring him.

"Yeah, it does." You answer looking away and trying to put on a serious face. "Hurts like hell. Exploding takes a 7 in my scale."

"What takes a 10?"

"Being impaled. Happend once only." you put your head down and feel a little goosebump as you remeber something bad. "I feel less pain than others, though. It is part of the quirk."

"It is a great quirk." he says. "You may be an amazing hero someday."

"I MAY be?!" You ask frowning your eyebrowns.

"You are too soft. Maybe you won't get there." he mocks on you and you throw your empty bottle on him.

Bakugo laughs and explode the bottle you've thrown, then, stands up and offers his hand to help you. You accept, but he doesn't let go of your hand after you are standing.

"Wanna come to my room, little brat?" he asks with a smirk.

You blush and look away so fast you get dizzy. Bakugo laughs.

"To study." He says. "What are you thinking of?!"

"Shut up. No! I don't want to." You say and shake your hand to make him let go, but he holds you with your arms down and when you see, he is carring you in his shoulders again.

"AAAAH KATSUKI, LET ME GO!" You yell while hitting him.

But not so hard.

...

You, actually, study. His room smells entirely like him.

He is so smart. He could solve the exercises you couldn't and his serious face explaining to you how to solve them made him, almost, look like a calm guy. Almost.

"You are always one step ahead." you say closing your books and shighing.

"That is where I like to be." he answers while stretching on his chair. "If I want to be the number one, I have to defeat those who could beat me... and then I have to go further."

"Is that why you hate 'Deku' so much?"

"No, I couldn't stand Deku because he was a Crybaby." he looks foward and frowns. "I respect him now. That is why I have to beat him. And that Todoroki too. And you."

"Me?!" you ask, blushing to being compared to two of the best students in class.

"You have a quirk that makes you almost undefeatable. If you had standed longer today, I would run out of explosions. And you know how to use it. I thought your weakness could be the pain, but you don't seem to mind it." he looks up and scratches his chin. "You are strong, and fast, faster than me, so you are probably faster than Deku too. It is difficult to hit you, as many times as it is necessary to get over your quirk."

You scratch your head, embarassed.

"Your problem seem to be how much you care about the scars." he turns to you and looks at your arms covered in small scars. You are wearing a simple shirt.

"It... it is ugly." You say, trying to hide them by crossing your arms. "Too many of these, I'd be seen more like a villain than a hero."

"I don't think like that." Bakugo says, and takes your arms into his hands. "They are battle wounds. Seem really badass to me."

"You wouldn't say that if you've seen all of them."

"Why don't you show me?"

You hold your breath as he comes closer and holds the bottom of your shirt, his red eyes locked onto yours. He waits as you feel your heartbeat increasing fast.

He rises one of his eyebrows as a question. You slowly shake your head affirmatively in reply.

Next part here

#bnha imagines #bnha fanfic #bnha bakugou #bakugo #bakugo and reader #bakugo fanfiction #bakugo imagine #katsuki bakugo

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hogwartsmc · 5 years

Text

One more curse to break.

Drabble : friendship

Words: 2341

(Mc is a hufflepuff, her name is Lucie, it's her point of view.)

-Guys you need to help me!

She came to a stop at the table her friends were having breakfast at, taking a painful deep breath. She had come running as fast as she could from the hufflepuff dorms and now her lungs felt like they were on fire.

-What's wrong? Ben asked, obviously panicked.

-It's Rowan! She breathed deeply.

-What happened? Is she hurt? Badeea inquired in concern.

-Worse! She's reading!

They all stared at her in silence. The utter stupidity of her words were baffling.

-I don't get it. Barnaby chuckled nervously. Isn't that what she always does?

-We live with her and you just realised that? Penny raised an eyebrow.

-Its different! Lucie huffed and puffed. She was still out of breath. I think it's a cursed book!

Ben gasped at her words. Tulip and Jae seemed to have suddenly gotten interested in her story. Barnaby seemed uneasy and the rest just looked at her skeptically.

-Do you have any reasons to believe the book is cursed? Charlie finally asked.

-She can't put it down!

-Well.. Bill tried to find a way to phrase it nicely. She kind of always has a book with her. Did you never realise?

Lucie sighed deeply. If only she could breathe properly, she could explain what she meant. Now they just thought she was as dumb as a rock.

-How about you sit down, calm down a little and then explain yourself. Tonks offered.

Lucie nodded and sat next to Jae. She focused on her breathing and after a couple minutes she felt better.

-Ok, i'm good. She signaled.

Her friends turned to her once again.

-She's been reading this book for a week now. And we all know how much of a fast reader she is so that's already one thing that doesn't make sense. Second, she reads during class and doesn't listen to the teachers.

-That is weird! Badeea exclaimed.

-Also, when i woke up in the middle of the night because of my insomnia, she was reading again! And the same book she'd been reading all day!

She could see her friends were a bit more receptive now. But they didn't seem to understand the urgency of the situation yet.

-And this morning, she was reading again. And i asked her if she'd slept and she just hummed.

She made a dramatic pause. Looking her friends in the eyes.

-I was looking for a way to get her attention. So i told her i had pictures of Bill shirtless.

Bill choked on his toast.

-And she didn't even bat an eye. Lucie continued, undisturbed. I'm really worried guys!

-Rewind a bit there. Penny said.

-You have shirtless pictures of Bill? Charlie frowned.

-That's not what matters. She rolled her eyes.

-Yes it does. Bill screamed out.

-You should have showed her shirtless pictures of Barnaby. Tulip sighed.

-Yeah he got more pecs! Tonks nodded.

-Am i even hearing this right now? Andre said dejectedly.

-You didn't take those pictures in the Gryffindor dorms right. Ben clutched the front of his robes.

-I know some people who'd be interested in paying for these pictures. Jae hunched closer to her. If you’ve got some snaps of Charlie and Barnaby too that could have it's worth.

Barnaby shrugged, seemingly clueless while Charlie turned a deep shade of red.

-Guys? Lucie called them, jaded. I don't actually have pictures of Bill! I'm not a pervert.

Bill sighed in relief and the rest just let out a silent oh.

-It's good to know you're not a stalker. Badeea solemnly said.

-Why didn't you ask for pictures of me? Andre asked Jae, indignantly. I'm a catch!

-As i said. Jae calmly explained. I personally know people who'd be interested in those pictures.

-I would. Tulip confessed.

-Lucie, you're one of these people aren't you? Tonks winked.

-What? Why would i pay for pictures that i took, that'd be so dumb!

-Not the most outrageous part of the story Lucie. Penny pointed out.

-I can't believe no one would buy my pictures! Andre sulked.

-I can't believe anyone would buy mine! Barnaby stated, eyes wide.

-Jae, you can't sell compromising pictures of people. Bill howled. That's an invasion of privacy!

-Well i don't actually do it, but as Lucie had pictures i thought i'd be nice if i could profit off of it.

-You still had the intent to and that's just as bad!

-Guys, Rowan! Lucie reminded them. We need to stage an intervention to sneak on her, pry the book off of her hands, burn it three times and then cleanse her soul.

-What was the last part? Badeea asked.

-Cleanse her soul?

-Yeah… why?

-Because she was cursed! You can't just obsess over a book like that, for no reason, all of a sudden. No book is that good! Even Lord of the rings!

-What now? Bill shot her a confused look.

-It's a muggle trilogy, i was reading it and she got curious so i lended her the books. Ben explained in an apologetic tone.

-That's right, those three books that were meant to be one by its author are masterpieces. Way better than those stupid Lockhart books people read, which proves we can only benefit from living along with muggles! They have the best of culture and entertainment! Queen, Tolkien, The Beatles, Jacques Brel and so much more that i can't think of right now!

Silence.

-Anyway. She cleared her throat. Who's got any ideas on how to save Rowan?

-I say we grab her and stuck her head in cold water.

-To snap her out of her trance or just for the heck of it, Tulip? Penny accusingly asked.

-I was trying to help! Tulip shot Penny an offended look. At least i'm doing something, unlike that one over there who's staring at his freaking sausage!

Lucie couldn't help a snort from leaving her lips. Her friends all had amused looks on their faces, aside from Charlie who looked positively horrified.

-I meant the one on his plate. Tulip added. Just in case…

-You ok there, Charles? Bill smirked.

-I'm fine! Charlie half-screamed.

Lucie bit her lips to keep herself from laughing and further embarrass the redhead.

-So should we stick with Tulip's plan or what?

-It can be plan b. Penny said.

-We should try and see if we can distract her from her book in some other, nicer way. Andre said.

-Come on Bill. Tonks sighed. Take off your shirt.

-Not funny. Bill groaned.

-I was thinking of asking her to explain to us the political context of the Goblin Rebellion. Andre cocked an eyebrow. But that may be a better idea.

-What? Bill choked on his juice this time. No way!

-Ooh! Naked Bill! Tulip exclaimed.

The students around them turned to look over at their table. Merula who was sitting at slytherin's table shot them an aggravated look before shaking her head. Liz, who sometimes hung out with them, was sporting an amused expression.

But the best part was the seemingly disappointed looks on a couple students’ faces at the sight of a fully clothed. Bill.

-They are people who'd be interested! Lucie said in disbelief.

-Oh for god's sake! Bill let out a frustrated sigh.

-I'm surprised they're so many girls who have yet to see you naked. Penny pensively said.

Bill glared at her and Penny just shrugged. Not impressed in the slightest.

-They probably want a souvenir to remember the good times by. Charlie smirked.

The eldest Weasley reached out for his wand but Badeea stopped him.

-Don't. I need to immortalise this moment.

-Why?! He asked in frustration.

-There are so many emotions at play. Badeea dreamily said.

-Ok, naked Bill is a really nice idea. Lucie said, ignoring the latter's furious glare. But we want to get Rowan out of her obsession, not get her into another one. So i say, we go with Andre's idea. If it doesn't work we use Tulip's plan.

-Ravenclaw rules! Tulip exclaimed, a huge grin on her face.

-Not at quidditch. Charlie said smugly.

They spent the rest of the day trying to catch Rowan between classes but as soon as the bell rang, she disappeared.

But their chance came as they made their way to the great hall to eat at noon. She was discussing fervently with Nearly-headless Nick and didn't realise they were there until Barnaby and Bill grabbed her arms.

-Wha.. Rowan couldn't finish as her friends were dragging her to the nearest closet.

Once they were all in, Badeea locked the door and they all turned to Rowan. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was opened in confusion.

-What are you guys doing? She finally screamed at them. I almost had a heart attack. You can't sneak up on people like that!

-Where's the book? Lucie demanded.

-What? Rowan looked around, even more confused than before. Do you mean your brother's journal?

-No your book! Lucie dramatically said. The one you can't put down, even during class. We know it's cursed.

Rowan gaped at her. What was Lucie on about this time?

-Not everything's cursed… You know that, right? Rowan asked softly.

-I know, but that book is! Otherwise, why would you turn down naked pictures of Bill!

-What?! Rowan let out a shriek, her cheeks reddening immediately.

-They were shirtless pictures! Bill screamed out. And they don't even exist! He quickly added.

-Adds a little spice to the story. Lucie calmly said.

-Why would i even want to see that! Rowan shout in a high voice.

-Heu… Curiosity? Tonks tried to help Rowan out. But she just groaned and hid her face in her hands.

-Just give us the book! Tulip tempted.

-My book is perfectly normal, it's a simple story. Rowan protested, her cheeks flaming red.

-Then you won't mind us taking a look, right?. Andre intervened.

Rowan let out a frustrated groan.

-I don't want to!

-Why not? If it's a regular book, we'll let it go immediately. Charlie tried to reason with her.

-No way! Why do you believe Lucie and not me?!

-Yeah they didn't. Lucie cleared out. But i had compelling evidence. I had them beg on their knees for forgiveness.

-Don't say that so seriously, i almost believed you. Barnaby complained.

-You were there though Barnaby. Penny raised an eyebrow.

-That's what's creepy. He nodded.

-Now i'm anxious. Ben shivered.

-You are all out of your minds. Rowan made a move to get out of the closet but all her friends were in the way.

-We just want to check the book, make sure everything's fine. Penny softly said.

Rowan sighed as she crossed her arms on her chest.

-If we're wrong, we'll make it up to you. Ben said.

Rowan glared at her friends before reaching for the book inside her bag. They held their breath as she lifted it up. Lucie reached for it, catching it with the tip of her fingers, trying to minimize contact.

She was taking a dramatic deep breath, readying herself to open the book when it was snatched from her.

She turned to Penny startled.

-”Moonlight Stroll” Penny read aloud.

-What? Andre asked, dumbfounded. It's a romance book?

-”An epic love story between a handsome werewolf and a young girl so beautiful she could be a veela.” Badeea read over Penny's shoulder.

-Oh god, these werewolves love story are so stupid. Tonks rolled her eyes.

-You worried us for this?! Jae turned to Lucie, unamused. A stupid romance novel.

-It's not stupid! Rowan defended her book, cheeks red.

-I can't believe you turned down shirtless Bill for that. Tulip shook her head.

-Can i get my book back now?! Rowan glared at them.

-No! Lucie sent the book flying away. Penny, Badeea and Charlie had to crouch down to avoid getting hit.

-What are you doing? Bill shot her a confused look.

-The book is trying to fool you! It has the appearance of a bad quality soap opera romance novel. Rowan groaned. But it has a hidden hypnotic message..

-Of course it does! Ben groaned. That way you buy all the sequels and the author makes a ton of money. Even muggle books do that, it has nothing to do with magic or curses.

-Oh.. Lucie said. Really?

-What a waste of my time. Jae sighed. No pictures. No cursed books… Although we could do something about the pictures.

-Get out of here! Bill got pissed.

Jae shrugged before doing as he was told. They all followed him out, there was no point in them staying any longer in the cupboard.

Bill went on his way, groaning. Badeea and Penny excused themselves as for Andre and Barnaby, they left for the quidditch pitch.

Lucie got the book back from where she tossed it and gave it back to Rowan with an apologetic smile.

-Sorry. She tried. I was being a total shithead.

-It's okay. I know you meant well. Rowan shyly smiled. But you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.

-Rowan. Lucie frowned. The summary sucks too.

-Everyone reads it, even old ladies! Rowan reddened again.

-Yeah well, old ladies have a weird craving for soft porn. Tulip said.

-What?

-Just my grandmother then. Tulip shrugged as Tonks was laughing so hard she tripped on the carpet.

-It's okay Rowan, i'll lent you “Lord of the rings”. Lucie put an arm around her friend's shoulders. There are three books.

-They're not yours to lend. Charlie laughed

-It's okay. Ben shrugged. She loves them so much i can't take them back.

-Are there dragons in them?

-No. Ben paused. Although there's one mentioned in the book that takes place before the trilogy. But he's not exactly the hero…

-Does it talk? Charlie excitedly asked.

-Yeah he does. Do you want me to lend you the book?

-Yeah, that'd be awesome.

-You guys should really give a go to romance books you know.

Rowan's words were met by a long silence.

-You guys suck. She sighed.

-But you still love us. Lucie laughed.

The end

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