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#i'm genuinely not judging. i've done this
wernerherzogs · 2 years
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hii, romantic anon here, take all the time you need to answer, I sent like a novel so I get that it requires a certain headspace to be in to respond hahaha
HELLO sorry for the delay!!! thank you for being understanding 💖 and of course i remember you!!!!!! still not sure you're not pulling my leg tbh BUT i am entertained and hooked on your story so i don't care
#BUT AD REM.#i'm stuck on a particular bit of what you said#when you said that 'it obviously can't happen' or sth did you just mean the scrutiny that comes with him being seen out and about with#Anyone or did you specifically mean you+him#because i'm gonna be blunt it sounds like you two have a Vibe going on and him having a girlfriend =/= being married or something#it's not ideal but sometimes you simply fall in love with people who are taken!!! and ik you're single atm but maybe he actually#reciprocates?#i'm not sure if i'd ever be that brave myself but you have like. two options here. or three#1. tell him how you feel and see what happens! maybe he'll realise this is worth a shot!#2. stay in this status quo of endless pining which eventually might become really unbearable and miserable#3. end this relationship to protect your feelings#do you think option 1. is something you'd be able to do?#because i don't know you nor him but i really think you should do it#sorry that me reply isn't that long but it really boils down to this: either you change this or you don't#asking him out/confessing is risky but like. if you DON'T do it at all comma won't that be worse???#unless being a pining friend is Enough for you and i think it's valid#i'm genuinely not judging. i've done this#sometimes you just can't bring yourself to taking that risk for some reason or other and that's life babey#cigarette emoji#take your time replying but tell me how you feel about option 1. anon#sending hugs ❤❤❤#anonymous#a response
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psyduc · 1 month
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pasta a la erik karlsson
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THE INGREDIENTS: pasta. alfredo. meat sauce. raw (red) onion. hot sauce (cholula, judging by the video). ketchup (heinz, i think?). a little salt and pepper.
THE RECIPE: boil pasta, chop the onion, serve with all sauces. eat and not die.
hi my name is emily and welcome to jackass
instead of liveblogging this process, i'm just going to add my thoughts to one big post to make it cleaner <3
6:48 pm: the pasta is boiling. i keep looking over at the Pile of Sauces and giggling. i have whispered "what the fuck" to myself a few times now. i'm cooking the whole box, because we're all having spaghetti tonight, but i'm the only one brave enough to try... This
6:54 pm: erik did not mention this as part of the meal but i poured myself a glass of rose. the onion has been chopped. i tried to get them chunky to match the video but that's like too much man, at least have your onions DICED why are they in CHUNKS ERIK
7:05 pm: writing these time stamps i'm realizing i'm a slow cooker because i keep getting distracted by my playlist (rn it's rebel rebel by david bowie). i am starting the alfredo sauce and it's sinking in that i'm about to actually. eat this. like a few bites, there's no way i'm eating this whole plate (this is NOT foreshadowing)
7:07 pm: i almost panicked because i didn't think i had enough milk for the alfredo but surprise, i had EXACTLY enough. this is a good omen.
7:15 pm: everything is done, i am just waiting for the meat sauce to warm up. i'm still whispering "what the fuck to myself".
7:21 pm: it's time. to assemble.
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i grabbed a small plate, but i'm realizing. maybe i should have grabbed less. this is revolting. and i'm not even done adding things
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added and mixed. i'm laughing. erik eats this. before every game? it overwhelmingly smells like cholula which is fine but oh my god. oh my god? no. no. this poor man's stomach. oh my god
7:30 pm: i've put it off. it's time to take a bite
IT'S JUST. IT'S JUST A LOT OKAY. THIS IS A LOT OF FLAVOR AND NONE OF IT REALLY GOES TOGETHER? it's like way too acidic. biting into a red onion is a terrible surprise. it's too saucy and it doesn't feel Good in my stomach, like i have taken two bites and it's settled so heavily already. okay no three bites. it's... it's just upsetting. this is an upsetting experience. what the fuck is wrong with you erik karlsson. you eat this and then you go and play professional hockey?
FOUR BITES IN AND IT DOES NOT GET BETTER. why does he do this to himself like can we send someone to check on him fr i am genuinely concerned about this man like i made this meal for the bit but he willingly does this to himself?????? 82 games a season???????
IN CONCLUSION: i managed five (5) bites. they were all bad. don't make this. someone arrest erik karlsson immediately i am so serious.
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reggies-eyeliner · 14 days
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OKAY AN EXTREMELY SELF-INDULGENT SENSELESS RAMBLE ABOUT JWCT REGARDING GRIEF AND EMOTIONS AND FOUND FAMILY AND COMPLEX CHARACTERS COMING UP AHEAD WOOP WOOP !!!
i cannot stress to you enough. how much i love the way they write processing trauma. like yeah trauma is all silly and angst and whatever but it's a real thing like genuinely and it's exhausting to see shows just dismiss it over and over again but THIS SHOW I SWEAR IT'S JUST. EVERYTHING IS DONE SO SO WELL AND I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL LIKE
and not to mention that the animation SERIOUSLY DOES IT JUSTICE like the expressions are SO GOOD OH MY GOSH LIKE IT'S I'M THEY'RE YEAH THE EXPRESSIONS. ARE INCREDIBLE. that looks darius got in his eyes when he KNEW the password to brooklyn's phone and kenji didn't??? so good SO GOOD and just the way their eyes all shine before they start crying is actually done so well that if you listen carefully you can feel my heart breaking
also i love how like emotional processing is also written so much. all of them aren't afraid to cry and i feel like that's just. yeah it's beautiful. they cry soft they cry loud whatever it is they're comfortable enough to do so and if they're not they at least know they won't be judged for it ARE YOU KIDDING ME I'M GOING TO BITE A TABLE?????
the characters have flaws. i love that so much. the characters are not perfect but they're still likable and it's executed so well. darius' grief is PALPABLE and kenji's anger, albeit sometimes annoying, is so understandable that you can't actually be angry or annoyed with him because the story writing makes you understand. that's incredible. yasmina struggles with anxiety and ptsd and she gets frustrated and that is !! okay !! sammy ignores her emotions and struggles with toxic positivity but we understand *why* she talks to yasmina that way (because she's worried and scared and concerned for her girlfriend, but she's also just as worried of truly addressing what she's been through) so it's so hard to get mad at her. ben is THANJ GOODNESS not mischaracterized as a cinnamon roll and is actually a complex character with complex emotions and i can't get enough of it. he's like a pain he's so annoying sometimes but it's endearing because he reminds you of that one classmate from elementary that makes you go ohhh yeah no it's him that's fine
okay paragraph was getting long but I do have more to say about kenji. the relationships in this show are executed SO WELL and I'm beyond relieved that Kenji and Daniel's relationship was written INCREDIBLY WELL
like. okay first off the asian rep YEAHGHH IT EAS GOOD !!! WOOP WOOP YRAHAHDH HONK HONK the part about kenji saying he should get his violin after daniel was like telling his sob story was SO FUNNY OH MH GOSH
and just. kenji and daniel kon. im. like his dad was never perfect. far from it and yet kenji just he loves him so much and wants to make him proud and it makes me sick because the writing helps you UNDERSTAND why
daniel keeps giving kenji ultimatums and kenji standing up to him for once just. yeah. that was done incredibly well. and then not even ten minutes after daniel started to change and gave his son something without expecting anything in return other than his presence daniel gets eaten alive in front of him.
okay now this show holy moly i was NOT expecting daniel to just. get ripped apart but um YEAH THAT HAPPENED and the grief was written so well I cannot stress this enough. I loathe in movies and shows when they skim past traumatic deaths and just act like the grief is just non existent and this show does an incredible job at showing that it is VERY MUCH STILL THERE and it makes people out there who are struggling feel a little less crazy and that's so beautiful
i've been a benrius enthusiast since day one and honestly at this point i just hope everything goes well for them moving on. brooklyn's death and Darius coping with her grief was done SO SO WELL and honestly okay as much as i love sibling-type dinostar i think rewatching scenes with the lens that he was in love with her just makes it hurt so much and it's just. yeah. it's written well.
I will say that I think the story could have gone on without Darius confessing his love to Brooklyn, and the scene where Kenji asked Darius about the voicemails could have been used solely as a chance to highlight grief. another way the scene could have gone was if kenji sifted through the voicemails and just heard Darius's voice shatter in a way he's never quite heard it or listened to darius blame himself and that could have been a moment for kenji to realize that grief isn't something people should deal with alone, that *he* shouldn't deal with grief alone
regardless i really do think the idea that Darius was in love with Brooklyn was done really well. I don't know a better way for kenji to have figured out the truth, and for that I am grateful :D!! I hope the hardcore shippers don't get too mad though 😭
also I absolutely loved the lady with the whistle. she's cool. her character design is terrifying and the way she treats the dinosaurs reminds me a of a queen that is very fond of her workers like 😭 she's cool but also i would never want her within a 100 mile radius of me
the found family in this show is actually. yeah. it makes me cry because it's just done so well because it doesn't idealize perfect relationships. there are awkward moments, there are sad moments, characters still feel broken and alone despite having people who've actively said that they'd go to the moon and back for them. it's realistic and it's written beautifully
I think Darius might actually be the character with The Writing ever. his grief and his nostalgia, his awkwardness and fascination with learning and his kindness are all things that exist together and I am so so grateful for that. he's allowed to laugh and make jokes while feeling constant, looming guilt. he is fascinated with learning while also struggling to feel like he deserves to be happy, he enjoys learning about dinosaurs while also being terrified of them on the worst days. he feels guilty and feels like a bad person. but he's loved and he's cared for. can you tell he's my favorite now because
enamored with yasmina and sammy as always. they are just the girlfriends ever and i love so much how openly they communicate with each other. sammy apologizes when she makes mistakes, yasmina doesn't hold it against her. they're always at each other's sides and their love isn't conditional. i love them SO MUCH
okay sorry im making this about darius again but this guy actually is The character ever. I don't think I've ever felt so seen in a character and i just yeah the writers are incredible because all of the characters are written to feel relatable, and if not that, to feel real. it was just a huge comfort to me to know that okay im not crazy for feeling this way because of a character, who was written and animated by dozens and dozens of creators was allowed to be written this way, i'm not messed up in the head, im just processing emotions and it's okay that I need help for that
THIS SOUNDS SO CRINGE I AM SO SORRY
but yeah i. i love this show.
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lecsainz · 10 months
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TATTOOED
request: could you write something with lewis or daniel where there reader is a tattoo artist and she gives him a tattoo and he starts flirting and asks her out? if not its totally okay! sending all my love
pairings: daniel ricciardo x tattoo artist!reader
authors note: I can't even, but like carolina by harry styles was totally stuck in my head while I was writing! it's like, seriously playing on loop in my brain and I can't even deal with it
✩. . . masterlist !
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Daniel Ricciardo had always been a fan of tattoos, and it wasn't just for show – he had thousands of inked stories etched across his body. He had a genuine appreciation for art, relishing the meanings they held for him.
He hadn't really planned on getting another tattoo during his off-time from Formula 1 while in Miami. But there he was, stepping into a small, incredibly cool studio – at least in his perspective – though who was he to judge what was cool.
"Hey?" he leaned casually against the wooden counter. "Anyone here?"
"Hey! How can I help you?" A petite girl with a few doodles on her arms seemed to appear out of nowhere.
His lips curl into a charismatic smile, "I'm thinking about adding some more art to this masterpiece," he gestures to his arm covered in ink. "What do you think?"
She chuckles softly, "Well, I think you've got a pretty good canvas already."
He laughs, her quick wit catching him off-guard. "True that. But I've got a spot that's feeling a little empty."
"And what kind of art are you thinking?" she raises an eyebrow, her eyes curiously tracing over his existing tattoos.
He taps his chin playfully, "You know, something meaningful. Something that'll give my other tattoos a run for their money."
She nods in understanding, "Got any specific design in mind?"
Daniel leans in a little, his playful grin not wavering, "How about a cheeky smiley face? Right here," he points to an empty space on his arm.
She lets out a laugh, clearly not expecting that. "I can definitely do that," she says, amusement dancing in her eyes.
As she sets up her equipment, they fall into easy conversation. He learns that she's not just a tattoo artist; she's a storyteller who helps people etch their tales into their skin.
Throughout the tattoo process, their conversation flows effortlessly. She shares stories about the tattoos she's done and the emotions behind them, while he tells tales from his racing experiences. He realizes that she's genuinely interested in people's stories, and it's something he finds refreshing.
As she works on his arm, he finds himself studying her, noticing the way her brows furrow in concentration and the occasional smile that tugs at her lips. He's captivated by her passion for her craft.
"So, what's the story behind this one?" she asks, her fingers gently tracing a scar on his forearm.
He hesitates for a moment, then decides to share. "That's from a crash a while back. Nothing serious, but it reminds me of how far I've come."
Her eyes meet his, and he can see a mixture of understanding and admiration. "It's amazing how life's twists and turns can leave marks that become part of who we are."
He nods, his gaze lingering on hers. "You get it."
As she finishes up, he examines the smiley face tattoo with a grin. "It's perfect. Might just be my new lucky charm."
She smirks, "I'll take credit for your future wins then."
He chuckles, "Deal. But I'll need a lucky charm in return – your name."
She blinks, her eyes widening a bit. "You want my name as a tattoo?"
He laughs, realizing he might have caught her off-guard. "No, just your name. I'm Daniel."
She smiles, extending her hand, "Nice to officially meet you, Daniel. I'm Y/N."
He takes her hand, his touch lingering a moment longer than necessary. "The pleasure's all mine, Y/N."
He leaves the studio that day with a new tattoo and something more – a sense of connection and curiosity about Y/N. As he walks out into the Miami sunlight, he finds himself debating what to do next. But, as always, he doesn't back down from a challenge.
Y/N looks up from her work as the bell above the door chimes. Her eyes widen in surprise as she sees Daniel standing there, holding flowers. "Hey," he greets, his voice a bit more uncertain than usual.
"Forgot something?" she teases, her voice holding a light note.
He scratches the back of his neck, sheepishly. "Yeah, I know it might sound a bit forward, but how about we grab a drink tonight?"
She chuckles, her eyes dancing with amusement. "Wow, smooth move, Daniel."
He grins, his signature charm kicking in. "I mean, we did establish a connection over art and stories. I thought it'd be a shame not to continue that."
She raises an eyebrow, teasing. "You must really trust me if you're inviting me to a dark alley for drinks."
He laughs, the sound genuine and carefree. "Oh, I'd never take you to a dark alley. It's a rooftop bar with a view – much safer."
She feigns contemplation, tapping a finger to her lips. "Hmm, rooftop bar, huh? Well, I guess I can make an exception for a charming race car driver."
He pumps a fist in the air, playfully victorious. "Yes! You won't regret it, promise."
She grins, shaking her head. "Alright, Daniel, you've got yourself a date. But you better not show up in a racing suit."
He feigns a pout, "But I look so good in them."
"Save the suit for the track. Just be yourself," she replies with a warm smile.
He nods, his eyes locking onto hers. "I'll see you tonight, Y/N."
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Hello! I was wondering if you could write hcs for how everyone would be at a carnival?? Thank you<3
The Best of All Amenities (All x MC/Reader)
I'M BACK MOTHERFUCKERS >:D
Hello my beloved Anon, I hope you have an awesome day/night! <33 Thanks for letting me write this for you, and I'm sorry for the extreme lateness of this. I'm on my knees right now forgive me Anon raaaa.
Btw I'm getting back into the habit of writing so cut me some slack for this one. I'm also not experienced with carnivals at all so I apologise for potential inaccuracies my dear. </33
Post-Completion A/N: I just realised this said carnival instead of fucking amusement park I'm so done. I tried to make it work for both I'm sorry Anonnie. i'm sorry but have this anywayy because i've never been to a carnival and don't know what the hell goes on there and also I am kinda silly and if this is inaccurate I apologise
T.W.: Mentions of vomiting.
- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer
Amenities: something that helps to provide comfort, convenience, or enjoyment. 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
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Brittney is a walking carnival let's be real.
Like her hair screams classic circus-tent except the white and red is pink and blue.
Would get cotton candy and judgmentally eat it while surveying the rides.
Y'all would be going around looking at everything.
She's probably gonna try to not get on anything because she's shitting herself at the thought of getting on a coaster frfr "not bothered".
Will carry iced coffee around, she somehow has an endless surplus of coffee. It's genuinely terrifying.
You both will wander around and gossip, along with judging the outfits of everyone else like it's a fashion strip.
Will get angry af if the line takes too long.
Will get on at least 1 ride out of spite, ends up almost vomiting. "Never again."
Y'all are paparazzi tho like shit's crazy with how many photos you both take of each other. shame it ain't the kinky kind
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Deryl would go berserk. Like this boy will literally lose his marbles from joy.
If you invite him to any gathering, amusement park, carnival (hell any park at all), this boy will be dragging you everywhere.
Indecisive about where to go.
Very indecisive about what to eat. he'll harass you for food teehee
Is the type to get really excited about rollercoasters, until it's your turns to go on one.
In that case he'll start panicking.
You'll have to convince him he's not gonna die.
Will be quaking in his boots from fear.
Don't worry he gets on the ride anyway. Especially if he gets one from you after.
Will just be having a blast despite the terror tbh.
Will not go into any haunted house tho.
Like he will sprint out of there.
You'll have to run after him so he won't get lost lmfao.
Will expect emotional support from you after.
You both have a massive ton of fun tho prepare for more bedroom edition fun later.
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Jess will be sceptical.
Don't get her wrong, she'd love to go.
But she's shy and a massive homebody.
and can't socialise to save her life
When you both get there, she'll be overwhelmed by the amount of people.
Sorry broski you're gonna have to do the talking.
Will be scared af of the rides, will clutch onto you for dear life.
May be the type to silently vanish and reappear because she's a midget often caught up in staring at venues and looking at things.
Will be the type to just cling to you tbh
She's either glued to you or unstick so hard and fast she'll teleport to the other side of the planet.
You'll probs take photos tbh, she does have an internet influence.
Y'all will be discussing each others' fav idols and celebs over desserts.
And of course loving each other's company and hopefully bodies.
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Crowe will be happy to go wherever with you.
So he'll def be willing to do anything at this entertainment complex.
Yáll are probs gonna grab some snacks and take more mellow rides tbh.
He doesn't seem the type to like really violent ones.
Will probably be the type to just observe you go on a ride.
Will also take photos. He wants to admire you remember this day. <33
Will hold your drinks as well.
Will just serve as your porter and server let's be real.
He'll def go on the more chill rides tho.
Will even let his hair down to feel the wind. >:]
and also so you can pull it ngh
10/10 hair pulling sesh would do again yeehaw
You both have an epic day together. Time for an even sexier night
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Hyugo would have already been dragging you places.
So when he stumbles upon the existence of this place, you bet he's taking you there.
Y'all are gonna be fucking parading around.
He's gonna just *point* somewhere and you're going.
Like it's not even a question or a debate.
He'll have a maniacal grin on his face while doing it too.
i'm scared send help
shawty getting a tad cray cray here
You're going on a ride hehe and he's gonna stare ahead very intently, grip the steel bar and have a very spoopy grin on his face.
Has a blast.
Y'all go everywhere, you make time for everything.
He'll shoot people in the line to make sure you have time teehee
y'all wont get arrested cause his daddy's got money
Oh. And candy.
You both eat all the candy.
You both also spend like 2 hours vomiting because of how much candy you had.
10/10 would puke guts out again.
But you both genuinely just have a blast. Shame it ain't a blast of smth white and sticky.
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Geo will spawn at the venue with the most monotone expression ever. he's still shocked you invited him teehee
Will recoil at the sight of the massive crowds, will probably drag you off somewhere quieter.
Alas there aren't that many 'quiet' places to go to, so he'll grow to tolerate it (because of you and only you).
Will be the type to order food that he knows you like felt like getting, gives it to you anyway.
Will not be caught dead going on a ride, the screaming irritates him too much.
Unless you beg enough, then he'll do one of his choosing. (it's the most violent one because he wants you to stop calling him a scaredy-cat).
Will be dead silent the whole time, gets off unfazed AF (he'll be hiding his nausea dwdw).
Will also probably hide his face because...his influence, his reputation, (his beautiful sexy face), the fucking paparazzi.
Will probably try to make you go somewhere else with him after, like a cafe or smth, somewhere 'peaceful'.
Does enjoy himself though, will probably not admit it due to...pride.
Only thing is; nowhere's more peaceful than your bed teehee
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Sol literally will be squealing with joy if you ask him to go anywhere with you.
This man is too down bad to live.
May or may not buy ice cream so he can watch you sensually lick it.
This bastard will 110% enter any form of haunted house just to see if you'd (hopefully) cling to him.
Will end up clutching your hand either way. <333
Everything is on him, like. E v e r y t h i n g. even you!!
You can't pay for anything, 'tis illegal.
Will be the type to just sit on a ride and hold back a smile because he's not bothered to scream like everyone else (he hates it when people do that, will probs wear headphones for the noise), so he'll just sit there and quietly rejoice.
Will bring his own food beforehand, in case you both don't wanna spend money on the stupidly expensive food there.
Is genuinely happy af tho, this guy will do whatever you want, win whatever you want.
Also will threaten people to move out of the line if they're holding it up or something.
Has no shame.
And that's okay.
Because the shameful things he does in the bedroom is more than enough to balance it out. ;)
You both have a banger time tho. *claps approvingly*
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luveline · 9 months
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Hi Jade! Congratulations on 40k (deserved deserved deserved!!!!!)
Can I plz request some KBD Steve and Reader for 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐞𝐛 ?
Maybe they’re on a rare date night and they love getting to be alone together but they do miss their babies!
tyvm <3 kisses before dinner —dad!steve and mom!reader go on a date (for a little while). 1.3k
"Are you sure I don't look really stupid?" you ask as Steve opens the passenger door.
"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," Steve says simply, hand out to help you from the car. You smile and take his hand. You've done it hundreds of times, but you remember the first. 
"Woman," you correct without irritation. You've been together for almost ten years and you have four children. Four. "I don't think many people would say I'm a girl anymore."
"Ah, but you're my girl," —Steve laughs as you laugh, pulling you from the path of the door to close it and lock it— "so forgive me. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 'N' I love white on you, as you know." 
You laugh more at his formal talking and fold your arm between his. Robin has made it so you can wear a white dress without fear of stains, agreeing to have your four girls for the day. Though day is a gentle term, because you don't expect anybody to be able to cope with children that aren't theirs for more than a few hours. You suspect you'll have four or five hours (Robin is well-trained and, more importantly, extremely loving toward your children) before one of them has a meltdown from missing you. 
Dove is the likely perpetrator. "She's really moody lately," you say, knowing Steve will get exactly who you mean as you begin walking from the parking lot and down the street to the coffee shop. 
Sure enough, he covers your hand where it rests in the crook of his arm and says, "She's in her terrible twos. But maybe you should be spending a little more time with her." He isn't judging or criticising you, just making an educated assumption. "Heather steals all your attention." 
"You can call her Heather as much as you like, but it isn't her name," you say, nudging his chest. 
"Can, will, is. I think she just misses you." Steve sees you squinting in the sun and offers his sunglasses. You lift your head and let him slide them up your nose, more for his touch and attention than a real need for them. It's a surprisingly sunny day in late September, the wind blowing warm on your bare legs and arms. "You know you're her favourite." 
"Do you ever worry that it's 'cos I don't see her enough? I mean, I'm home now, but that's only for another month. What if… like, what if I work and she grows up missing me so much she resents you?" 
"Do you think that's gonna happen?" Steve asks genuinely. 
"No. I dunno." You turn his face to yours in the middle of the street. You've changed a lot over the years. Being pregnant does that, but so does ageing, and living. Steve looks at you like you're charming, like the fact of your existence alone could make him laugh. You look at him the same. "You know, you get more handsome all the time." 
You kiss him. Steve closes his eyes and follows your lead. He bumps the sunglasses with his enthusiasm, and his kiss grows softer in apology. 
"She'll be okay. But you need more time together. And Avery needs more time with me, and Bethie needs less time in my lap–" 
"I can't see that happening," you say. "She's your pest." 
Steve hears the fondness in your voice and presses his hand to his chest, leaning back. "My girls," he says. 
You pass him back his sunglasses and look around. You and Steve have a favourite coffee shop slash smoothie place that serves all manner of hot snacks. You would've gone for lunch, but you promised Bethie you'd make her special toast (French toast) and might have been too greedy about it. Steve is a slammer for food even now, his metabolism doesn't slow, and you figure he'll have grilled cheese with his smoothie or a cup of soup. 
You didn't tell Steve you couldn't manage lunch, he just knew. He can read your mind these days. You love it more than you can explain. 
"Nice flowers," you say, pointing at the florists. 
"They don't have your favourite ones ever," Steve says, hand on your shoulder to hold you out of his line of view. "They're nice though, the white ones." He points at a bucket on the low sill. "Do you want those?" 
"No, I'm just saying they're nice," you say. 
"Come on, let's go get some. I should've got you some anyways, that's the point of a date." Steve offers his hand. You take it shyly, not so secretly pleased at his insistence. 
You stand in the cool air of the flower shop hand in hand, picking out flowers. It starts with Steve trying to buy you flowers, you buying him flowers, and then the two of you spend forty minutes picking flowers out for the girls. Avery loves roses, Bethie isn't picky so long as the buds are impressively big, Dove couldn't care less about flowers and little baby ‘Heather’ sleeps and eats solely. You get Dove a small bunch of pink peonies and decide to share your bouquet of white flowers with the baby. Steve gets a mixed bouquet and doesn't protest. 
You have too many flowers to take with you to the coffee shop. You both refuse to admit what's happening until you're back in the car. 
"Are we really doing this?" you ask. 
"Why, think we should've bought flowers for Robin?" 
"I think the thank you movie tickets and the chocolates and the five minute hug you forced her into was thank you enough, but maybe we should've." You beam at him. "I mean, are we really going home? We didn't even make it to the coffee house." 
"We could take these home and put them in some water and come back…" He scratches a hand through his hair. "I miss them more than I thought I would. We've been glued together for a month, and I can't stop worrying about the baby." 
"I miss them too," you admit. 
You and Steve get drive through, and you kiss and murmur stupid shit at each other in the car outside of Robin's house for a perfect ten minutes, until Avery throws open your car door to scream hello. 
"I'm so happy you're home so early!" she shouts, scrambling up the foot well and straight into your lap. "Did you have fun at your date?" 
"Well, we were late leaving the house because I realised Dove's been drawing pictures on my button downs, and I almost crashed the car and scared mom half to death because the sun was in my eyes, and we were distracted looking at flowers for years and now we're home," Steve says. 
"So yeah, we had fun," you say. 
Steve leans over to kiss you. Avery laughs and shoves her hand between your faces, "Guys, I think Aunt Robin needs help, the baby won't stop crying and crying and crying and Dove tipped her drink all over Beth's pink dress. I think on purpose." 
Robin is very very sorry, and she didn't even call you guys, so why are you back? But she's grateful to be released. Not nearly as much as the girls are to see you guys. 
Robin is a great aunt, but you have clingy kids. 
"Mom!" Bethie shouts, pointing down at her sodden dress with a wobbly lip. "Look." 
"Aw, sweetheart, I see it. I put spare clothes in your bag, let's go get changed, okay?" 
You and Bethie leave hand in hand to clean up. Steve juggles the three remaining children dextrously, the baby against his chest, Dove's shoulder under his hand, and Avery crowding his other side. He's barely in the living room. 
"Hello," he says, kissing one little head after the other. "Hi, honey. You okay?" 
"Did you at least have a good two hours?" Robin asks sympathetically. 
Steve nods happily. "We did. Really. Next time I think we might even make it to the coffee shop." 
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Why the TF2 Defense Trio deserve more recognition
The people have spoken, I have decided to create an essay disguised as a post on this godforsaken website because it's a free country goddammit! (I would have done it either way lmaooo, I have a lot of shit to say about these maniacs) To start this formal essay glorified very serious shitpost, why should you as a tf2 fan care about these 3 men? They're so "boring" and there's not much going on with them. If ya took a second, let's pause with what was being said. YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND to think such thoughts, we must shake you out of cuckoo land by giving you an in-depth look into these three so that you understand where I'm coming from. Let's start in order:
Demoman:
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After being in the fandom since 2019, there's always one character I always thought wasn't given much anything in the fandom at all. Even taking ships out of the equation, there's barely any fics I've that focus on Tavish Finneagan Degroot specifically that I've seen that isn't a compilation fic (I read a lot of x readers, don't judge me). Believe me, I checked ao3. I went through Demoman's tags and I tried very hard to filter a lot of the crossover and relationship tags, yet there's less of Demoman himself, than there's him just existing as a side character of a story. Which is honestly sad, I honestly think Demo is one of the more kinder mercs compared to a lot of the team. This man made friends with the BLU soldier, despite knowing that they were supposed to be killing each other. Sure, it's unclear whether or not Demo did actually go through with it and it's just a ruse, because the voicelines in WAR! don't have a set timeline. But I do think that Demo would have tried to keep his friendship with BLU soldier. He's very chill. I've never actually seen him get violent against his friends and family, despite being a drunkard. I honestly think he's one of the sweetest people in TF2, he takes good care of his mom and haunted sword lmaoooo. Jokes aside, he seems like a genuinely good man and I barely see anything that suggests he's sadistic. He's a chaotic and loud, but not bad. Not bad at all. The fact he can still do his job well, even after drinking so much that his body created a whole distillery, is even more impressive. He is damn good at what he does and works very hard. He's had multiple jobs, even as wee little lad. Despite what people think of him, the fact he's getting paid 5 million dollars a year, is proof he knows what he's doing. He loves his job and couldn't bear the thought of not working. I feel like his backstory isn't talked about enough in the fandom either. When you think about it, it's kinda fucked up that he was put in an orphanage by his biological parents until he was in the right age to be blowing people up. Not only that, his eye socket was haunted by the Bombinomicon so that every halloween a giant eye would manifest, attacking him and his friends. Even Medic couldn't help him and instead resorting to scooping the part of Demo's brain where he remembered so he would stop asking. He most likely has a lot of stories for you, I see him as the type that has a lot to say. His past is the most fleshed out and complete out of all the mercs, which I really appreciate, you can do a lot more with him. Also another thing, during Unhappy Returns, he took the time to reassure Soldier that he wouldn't think he's a civilian. He didn't brush Soldier's worries aside and instead comforted him. I wish I had a lot more to say about Demo because I am baffled that he isn't being gushed about as a potential partner. He has the excitement and like zero baggage. A thing I also wanna point out is that he seems to be insecure of the fact he's a black scottish man with only one eye during Meet The Demoman. I may be reading into things a bit too much, but it makes me wanna be like "NOOOO don't talk about yourself like that, bro. You're so cute UGHHH" Also also he's handsome. Sure looks can be subjective, but I still think Demo has a face I would kiss hehe. He looks great with his beard and his cheeky ass smile. GOD I could gush about him all day, but I have to move on rip.
Heavy:
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Honestly, I'm having a hard time just finding the words to describe this amazing man without giving him the respect he deserves. But I'll sure try. Heavy has had a difficult life and I've always admired how strong he was. Not just of his muscles, but he endured one of the toughest situations and still kept moving forward with his life even though it was traumatizing. You see why I'm even having a hard time talking about him? I can't really get down into the weeds, without getting serious for a min. I feel like the fandom doesn't give him much credit for being able to deal with so much. He's the rock for his family after his father disappeared (atp I think he's dead, which is the cherry on top this depressing sundae) and I wouldn't doubt that he would be the same for his team. He's a man of few words, but that makes him all the more intriguing. Just because this man has a lot of brawn does not mean he's dumb at all. Despite how he acts in the battlefield, Heavy is observant and clever. Although, it's implied that Spy being Scout's dad is an open secret between the mercs and Miss Pauling, the fact he figured it out without saying it directly must mean he has a lot more going on. He's also educated, getting a phD in Russian Literature. It's not a STEM program, but he actually got a doctorate and went to college, that's a lot more than half of what the mercs did lmaooo. Also he has a bit of a softie side, not just for his mom and sisters, but also other creatures as well. I respect him so much for avoiding violence against those dogs during the Showdown comic. Not only shows what an absolute sweetheart he is, but also how much he's able to think quickly on his feet. Heavy is very direct and blunt, I don't see him as the type to lie about his feelings. I appreciate that he doesn't feel the need to sugarcoat anything, he'll get the job done and he ain't playing. There's no fluff, he knows what he wants and that's to rev up Sasha and ram through sons of bitches without any worries.
I feel like I wanna point out, his story seems the most unexplored in the fandom, even though it has a lot of potential for ANGST factor. I already broke down how sad it is, but I just feel like it isn't said enough. Can I just say how cuddly he looks?! GAH, I feel like he would give the warmest hugs! The way he smiled in Unhappy Returns when he finds out his family doesn't need to live in fear anymore, just melts my heart! He's so protective over his family and friends! I wish I had a lot more to say about this guy because I just can't stop finding more things about him that go unappreciated. I had to literally edit this part so many times before moving on, he just has those little details you don't notice until you take a second and have that OH MY GOD moment
Engineer:
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I was getting so hyped, when it was finally our resident southern nerd's time to shine. GOD I have so much to say about this man. It's been over 5 fucking years and I have never stopped simping for this man since 2019, I think I'm gonna go insane from how much I've been repressing, I go feral when he's around. Anyways enough stalling. I don't ever think a fictional character has ever made me swoon quite like Engineer, I really mean that. I have ask and pleaded to whatever god was listening to give me a man like Engie. To me, he is everything I ever wanted and more.
First, I wanna talk about what makes him attractive to me. His accent. His southern charm, UGH he's killing me with that smooth voice and chivalry! I swear this man could make me faint just from existing. The way he smiles is so warm, his insults are so corny I love them. That five o clock shadow GAHH! I'm getting butterflies all over again. I swear I love all three of the defense bois, but Dell Conagher has my heart wrapped around his gunslinger metal finger. All those personal reasons aside, I've always thought Dell Conagher was a very interesting character in the world of TF2. He might not have much screen time or goofy shenanigans like the other mercs, but that doesn't mean you can ignore him oh no no no. This man is important within the whole story of Mann Co and TF industries, his grandfather being the catalyst of the game's events and the comics going forward. The Conaghers are the SOLE REASON why Team Fortress 2's story exists. I find it strange that the fandom hasn't done much with this fact because you can do a lot with this idea. Engineer knows a lot of shit and would be the biggest threat to Helen, if not for the fact that his family has been helping her for years.
Like his backstory, he's not seen much in the battlefield, but he has a lot more going on behind the scenes. Imagine the possibilities. He is damn intelligent and he knows it. While Dell is very sweet and has a southern charm, this is a facade to hide his God complex and sadistic tendencies. If you think this man is just your boring gentle engineer, you've got a big storm coming. It's heavily implied that he sawed off his own arm so that he could use the gunslinger. This man works on projects with Medic and doesn't question the moral implications of putting a human brain in a pumpkin. Hell, he threatened his own employer, even if he was an old man (Granted, Blutarch dug up his grandpa's grave, so he probably should have gotten something a lot worse than just Dell telling him to fuck off). Engineer is more than the texan egghead sweetie pie, he is a mercenary for a reason and I would argue that he might be as insane, if not more than, the rest of the team. No sane man would willingly work with a bunch of war criminals if he wasn't also crazy. That's the thing I really like about him. I love playing as him in the game because it represents his character very well. He technically serves a supportive role to the team with his buildings, but he is a killer with a lot of tools in his disposal, With the right amount of training, he can absolutely dominate in the battlefield.
I feel like he's one of the people that underestimate and assume that he's an easy target, but he's a lot more than that. He has a lot of layers that makes me want to learn more about him and what he has to offer.
In Conclusion:
These guys are cool. Lmaooo okay I won't just end it there. I genuinely believe that they're not getting the recognition that they deserve, they've got a lot more going for them if you pay attention. Sure they might not always be the loudest or most prominant character in the story, but what they lack in quantity, they make up for in quality TEN FOLD. They don't have to be your favourite, but you should at least give them a chance. You never know, they may surprise you.
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Okay so thats enough of that, I couldn't find a divider above this message, so you're getting this grainy ass gif. Honestly, I put way too much effort on this shitpost lmaooo, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out in a more concise manner. If you want to add more stuff about these three that I didn't mention, feel free to do so. Anyways thanks for reading
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salmon-bagel · 1 month
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Tf2 mercenaries x Seductress! Class! Reader
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Warning: nsfw content, female reader, sexism
Scout
When Scout heard that there's a woman who's a professional at seduction, he had already started plotting.
"Hello, name is Y/n L/n, but you can call me the Seductress. It's nice to meet you."
"Heya, nice to meet cha' mommy- Oh, i mean mommy i mean mommy i mean mommy i mean mommy-"
Constantly hits on you. Scout believes that you're the type of girl that's 'easy', someone who will let anyone bang them regardless of who they are.
That boy isn't going to leave you alone until you let him into your pants.
Even when he's not busy trying to get in between your legs, Scout is asking you for advice on how to woo the ladies. Considering you're a professional at flirting with people.
You go back and forth on giving him good advice and bad advice. Sometimes you feel bad that he can't get a girlfriend. Then again, you think to yourself that no woman should be within three feet of Scout because of how much of a horny asshole he is.
After some time, you did grow to have a soft spot for him. Since he's bullied a lot by the other mercenaries. He can be kinda cute when he's not being a complete jerk.
Soldier
Soldier treats you like the other mercenaries. Ruthlessly bleating in your ear when you're doing something wrong.
"GIVE ME ONE HUNDRED SQUATS NOW! I WANT THAT AMERICAN ASS NICE AND PERKY BY THE TIME YOU'RE DONE!"
He wants the best from you. Regardless of your gender, he'll push you to the limit until he's proud enough to call you a warrior.
Soldier tests that you're a good seductress by making you flirt with him. It's an ego boost on his part, but he's genuinely trying to make sure you're hot enough for the enemy.
"YOU CALL THAT FLIRTING!? I'VE HEARD BETTER FLIRTING FROM A MONKEY! AT LEAST THEY CAN PUCKER THEIR LIPS BETTER UNLIKE YOURS!"
Buys you clothing that he believes would work well when you're seducing the enemies. It's always american themed swimwear or lingerie. You began to believe he's just buying that for himself for you to try.
Whenever the team successfully wins for the day, Soldier immediately rushes towards and smacks your ass as hard as he can.
"NOW THAT IS AN ASS I'M PROUD TO CALL AMERICAN!"
Sniper
Sniper believes your work is very unprofessional. Considering he believes you have to whore yourself out to the enemy team. Instead of using your actual skills.
He says he has nothing against prostitution or sex work in general. Sniper just thinks that stuff you do should be kept behind doors and not on the battlefield. He says it causes too much of a distraction. However, you claim that 'distraction' is the point. Sniper doesn't seem to get it.
You honestly could care less what he thinks. Snipers throws jars of piss for a living, and he really thinks he has the right to judge other people?
The truth is you're good at seducing people. Too good. That it distracts him from doing his own job. Sniper has a tendency to watch you through the scope of his gun.
The way your body gets all hot and sweaty from the terrible heat, oh it does something to him. Sniper has imagined licking your sweat off your tits while you degrade him for being such a filthy fuck.
You are his go-to jerk off material. The women in his porno magazines don't get him off like they used. The only way he can relieve himself now is by imagining your fat ass bouncing on his cock.
When he noticed a pair of your panties in the laundry basket, Sniper couldn't help himself to inhale the sweet scent of your panties before putting them back.
Sniper knows he's a damn hypocrite.
He slut shames you for what you do, only to get off to you afterwards. The post nut clarity consumes him with guilt and shame.
Sniper still hasn't built up the courage to apologize to you.
Heavy
Heavy is one of the very few people who treat you like an actual human being. He was raised by a single mother alongside three sisters. Heavy knows to treat a woman right. Less he wishes to face their fury.
Heavy doesn't understand why you seduce the enemy. You're supposed to shoot at the enemy, not bat your eyelashes and wink! However, after watching your work on the battlefield, he gets to more of an understanding.
"Oh, I see. You lie to enemy and lure them in like fish? HA! Very clever!"
Absolutely loves gunning down the enemy that is distracted by you.
Is one of the few men who genuinely falls for you for your personality. Heavy knows you're drop-dead gorgeous, but he knows that beneath all that beauty is a truly intelligent woman. You earned your place on the team by impressing Mann Co., with your skills instead of batting your eyelashes and begging to be a part of the team. You make his heart swoon like no other woman has.
He likes to write you poetry. It helps convey how he feels for you because he's too bashful to put it into simple words.
Heavy is not afraid of anything. Nothing, not even death itself. However, it took him a lot of courage and constant rehearsal to ask you out on a date.
He hopes to start a genuine relationship with you. Heavy doesn't want a one-night stand or be friends-with-benefits with you. He wants you to be his girlfriend and maybe possibly his wife later down the line.
Engineer
"Well, I'll be! Aren't you the prettiest thing I've ever seen."
Engineer is taken aback by your good looks and sauve personality. He genuinely questions why you wanted to be a mercenary. A beautiful lady like yourself is too of high risk to get hurt!
Will always be there to help you if it gets too much for you to handle.
However, he can be very overprotective over you on the battlefield. Engineer thinks it would be safer for you to stay on the rancho relaxo than getting shot at by the enemy. As much as you'd like to not do anything on the job, Mann Co. isn't paying you to be lazy. They see everything and will tell you to get off your ass and start fighting.
You have to beg Engineer that you can do it on your own. He understands your point of view and begrudgingly lets you fight with the others. Even if it means going against his code of defending and protecting a lady when she needs it.
While putting up dispensers and sentries, he can't help to admire you from afar. Engie believes that a guy like him has no chance with a girl like you. What woman would be interested in a bald man who has a robotic hand and locks himself away in his work? No gal that's who.
Engie fantasizes about working up the courage to flirt with you and ask you out, which would eventually lead to a rather sensual night spent together. He did try to ask you out once but miserably failed. Engie kept stuttering and mispronouncing words out of nervousness while attempting to seduce you. You couldn't make out what he was trying to say. Thankfully, Demo had the heart to pull Engie out of that mess of a conversation and save him from further embarrassing himself.
So now, he just admires you from afar. Dreaming that one day he'll get to win your heart.
Spy
Surprisingly, he wants to get to know you as soon as possible. It's not every day you get to meet a lovely lady.
When he learns of your class type, oh boy, this man will make you question if you're even meant to be the Seductress.
"Mademoiselle, you are the most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes on."
"Do you know why they call Paris the city of love? Why don't I take you there and show you?"
"If the verb ‘to love’ didn’t exist, I would have invented it upon seeing you."
Spy leaves your entire face red and completely frozen after he's done talking to you. He's so flattering and charismatic. In comparison to the other men, he makes it seem like they're not trying at all. It isn't their fault, though, Spy is a natural at wooing the ladies.
You're surprised when Spy gifts you things that you really like. You never shared these intimate details with him before or with the other mercenaries. When you asked him how he knew what you specifically liked, Spy merely winks at you and grins. He has a way of receiving information without anyone knowing.
He has a tendency to kiss the back of your hand whenever you two are greeting each other. Spy is a gentleman and can't help himself to be sweet to a beautiful woman.
When Spy asks you out on a date, you agree to it because you have been meaning to go out. You felt like you'd go insane if you stayed in the base any longer. You put on your best dress and left with Spy into town.
After having a nice meal and a few glasses of wine, both of you give into temptation. Spy could hardly keep his hands off you when he drove you both back to the base. All your clothes came off the moment you reached his bedroom. You found it a little strange he refused to take off his mask. Oh, what the hell. He's hot and treated you to a nice date.
In the morning, you receive uncomfortable stares from the other mercenaries. Let's just say you and Spy weren't exactly quiet during your lovemaking. Unfortunately for the others, you decided Spy would become your fuck buddy.
Medic
He's been meaning to include a female subject in his experiments- I mean, he's glad to meet you!
You try your best to steer clear of him. However, on the front lines, it isn't so easy. When you're constantly getting shot at and stabbed by enemies, you'll need the Medic's help to get better.
When he sees you in action, Medic feels a new emotion that he's never felt before. Is this.. love? Maybe it is. Or maybe it's just lust.
Medic has never been infatuated with any woman. Except you. The way you lure in these pathetic men with your good looks and false promises, only to kill them afterwards- oh God, it makes him giddy. He feels like a schoolboy all over again!
Medic does routine check-ups on you. To make sure all your lady parts are in working order. In reality, this perverted fuck wants to have an excuse to grope you. Always gaslights you into believing he's not being a degenerate.
"Is this really necessary?"
"Why, of course! Breast cancer isn't something to take lightly!" He'd respond. You would understand, but after thirty minutes of him fondling your breasts, you knew what his true intentions were.
Medic writes you love letters and his dove, Archimedes, deliver them to you.
The letters start off relatively sweet. Medic writes that he views you as a Goddess, a truly ethereal being that is too perfect for this world filled with lesser mortals. And how he's the only man truly worthy for you.
Then, the letters take a complete turn the more you read it. He writes how he wishes to fulfill every filthy fantasy he's ever had with you. Oh boy, the list is long. For one, Medic wants to tie you down, gag you, and breed you like the filthy whore you are. Another consited of how he wants to fuck you on the battlefield while you're bleeding out and fingering your open wound as if it was your pussy.
You've stopped reading his letters and tend to light them on fire.
Demoman
"So, how much do you regularly charge for a quick shag?" He'd ask you before laughing his ass off.
Demo will never take you or your work seriously. Even if you politely ask him to.
He doesn't see what's so hard about showing off your tits and saying how much you love to suck cock. Demo believes you should've been a stripper if you wanted to tease men so desperately.
You frequently explain to him in detail how you help and provide for the team. You honestly can't tell if Demo deliberately forgets or because he gets drunk so often, he hardly pays attention to you while you talk.
Don't worry, though. After you've instilled the fear of women into him, he'll be gladly reminded that he shouldn't judge or ridicule a woman. If his mother were here, she'd knock some sense into him.
Demo apologizes to you, drinks, gets drunk, and apologies some more
"I'm sorry, lassie! It's just that I just get so lonely sometimes! What woman would give me, a one-eyed freak, a chance!"
He bawls on the floor, crying in front of you. You attempt to cheer him up by comforting him. Instead, you end up getting drunk with him.
Did you shag him in the heat of the moment? That's all up to you ;)
Pyro
Has no idea what you're doing to the enemy. Anything sexual you do is translated as innocent in their vision. Will never know what real seduction or sex.
Luckily, they think everything you do is nice and polite!
Regularly gives you grotesque gifts, which are usually human hearts and bones. You begrudgingly take the gifts because you know they mean well and don't wish to be disrespectful.
Pyro has a tendency to go through your closet when you leave your room. Or while you're sleeping. Either why, they steal your clothing and belongings. They pick out outfits and wigs they like along with makeup supplies. You wonder where you placed your dress and immediately begin searching for it. Maybe you left it in the laundry room. As soon as you exit your room, you see Pyro wearing your clothing over their suit. Fake eyelashes have been glued onto their eyes, and lipstick smeared all over the breathing hole.
You can't even be upset with Pyro. They're doing their best.
You let Pyro keep the dress they're wearing, considering it most likely wouldn't fit you anymore.
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savventeen · 11 months
Text
you say the stupidest (sweetest) things
pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader rating: 16+ (for swearing) wc: 4.5k prompt: seungkwan + "things you said at 1am" summary: you say stupid shit on the best of days, so when seungkwan comes over when you're having a bad bout of insomnia, the last thing he expects to hear from you is an accidental love confession warnings: insomnia, mental health issues, dissociation mention tags: fluff, friends to lovers, first kiss, reader is a little unhinged but who isn't tbh, they're also highkey allergic to genuine expressions of love/affection but they're working on it, banter, stimming, wrestling like children to try and work through emotions, reader is some flavor of lgbt+ (they make an "i've never done anything straight in my life" joke), reader's pov is dramatic bc they're dramatic oops a/n: this is for @dokyeomin as a part of my emergency commissions (check out the post here) and this was only supposed to be 1k but it 100% got away from me... i hope you still enjoy the fluff and all of the attached nonsense <3
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From: Y/n 🔪 [11:47pm]
yo kwannie if i impulsively decide to go to the 24h convenience store how harshly do u think they'll jusdge me for buying every flavor of gummy candy available *judge i wanna see if i can melt them down into one Ultimate Gummy u know for Science
Seungkwan pauses brushing his teeth and stares down at your messages.
To be fair, it's probably not the strangest thing you've ever texted him. He's known you since your second year of college, after all, so he has about half a decade of experience with all of your various y/n-isms under his belt now.
Which is how he knows to trust his gut when it tells him that this probably isn't your usual brand of nonsense.
He spits the toothpaste into the sink and dials your number. You answer on the second ring.
“Before you say anything,” you start, “I was only half-serious about the gummies thing. Like, it's a fun idea, you know? In theory. But in actuality? I do not want to deal with the mess that it would create. Or the smells. Well, the smells might actually be pretty good depending on—“
“Uh-huh,” he interrupts dryly. “Y/n, when's the last time you slept?”
The beat of silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions, and the hesitant “Um” that follows is just the icing on the cake, really.
He sighs. “The fact that you have to think about it says enough.”
“I don’t need to think about it,” you argue petulantly. “I just… don’t wanna tell you.”
“Y/n...” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Look, I know, I'm sorry.” And you do sound a little bit sorry, at least. “I'm just. Having an episode. Don't worry about it.”
His shoulders droop as the words sink in. “Episodes” are what you've taken to calling your intermittent bouts of serious insomnia.
Generally speaking, you sleep about as well as the average twenty-something with a caffeine addiction. But every few months or so, it's like your brain completely forgets how to shut off and you end up staying awake for 40+ hours straight.
“Well,” he says, putting his toothbrush away and going back to his bedroom. “You know that ship has sailed, right? You know I'm gonna worry about it.”
Your deep sigh crackles over the line. “Yeah, I know.”
“So. Where're we at this time?”
He mentally braces himself. The two of you have done this enough times now that he knows that you know there's no point in trying to lie or beat around the bush.
“Uhhhhhhh, I'll be hitting the 46-hour mark in about 20 minutes.”
“Aish.”
The fact that you can say that so casually makes his heart hurt. He knows that whenever he doesn't get enough sleep, he makes sure everyone knows it and thus babies him accordingly. But you've always been so intent on hiding anything and everything you struggle with. It's taken years for him to bully himself past the walls you keep hidden behind shit-eating grins and an over-willingness to help.
“Okay,” he says, moving to the dresser to grab an extra set of clothes. “I'll be over in an hour.”
“Wait. What?”
“You heard me.” He tosses the clothes onto his bed before going to grab one of his duffle bags, firmly asserting, “You've got an hour to mentally prepare yourself for my arrival.”
“Honey, you've got a big storm comin',” you quote at him without hesitating.
“You sure do,” he assures with a snort. “Better get ready to feel the wrath of my friendship.”
“Why do you have to love so aggressively?”
He rolls his eyes while he throws his clothes into the duffle bag with one hand. “Because it's the only way you'll accept it, idiot.”
“No, it isn't.”
Your pout is so audible through the phone that Seungkwan has to stop and glance at the screen in disbelief.
“Y/n. Y/n L/n. Do not stand there and lie to my face like that.”
“I'm not lying!”
“Not—” He gesticulates wildly with one hand like he's going Can you believe this shit? to an invisible TV audience. “Okay, tell me this: what did you do the last time I sincerely monologued at you about how much you mean to me as a friend, hmm? No bits, no bullshit, just me telling you how much I love you and how amazing you are.”
A beat. “I'll hang up on you, Kwannie, don't test me.”
He barely resists the urge to shove his face into the bedspread and scream. “You're literally proving my point right now!”
“Kwannieeee,” you whine, because you know he's right.
“Also, because I'm never letting you live it down, I will remind you exactly what you did."
You say his name again, but it's muffled, and he assumes it's because you're hiding your face in shame.
“I gave you a sincere, heartfelt speech about how much your friendship has changed my life for the better and made me become a better person—” he ignores your wordless pterodactyl screech, “—and how do you respond? By staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, slowly raising your arms to give me double finger guns, winking, and then slowly backing out of the room like an awkward mannequin!”
“...”
“Well?” He puts his free hand on his hip. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
“… I’ve changed a lot since then.”
Seungkwan rolls his eyes before moving to continue packing his overnight bag. “It was literally three months ago.”
“Yeah, and? Doesn't change the fact that I've changed,” you assert.
“Into even more of a nuisance? Yes, you're absolutely right.” He smiles when he hears you scoff playfully.
“Listen here, Boo Seungkwan. You know that well-rested Y/n is ready to throw down with you at a moment's notice. What do you think sleep-deprived, zero-impulse-control Y/n is going to do the second you get to their front door?”
“Stop referring to themself in the third person, hopefully,” he mutters, finally zipping up his bag and heading to the door. “And then after that, they're going to let me bully them into resting.”
“Hmm. The council has heard your proposal, briefly pondered it, and deemed it “unnecessary” on the basis of: they're a bad bitch that can't be stopped by neither time nor physics nor any god of your choosing.”
Seungkwan scoffs as he puts the call on speaker and sits to put on his sneakers. “Well, “the council” can go fuck right off.”
“What if the council would like to fuck right on?”
Pausing in the middle of tying his laces, he blinks down at his phone. “I'm— what?”
“Okay, real talk, what do you think it would mean in this case? Like, would this be like a 'hop on' versus 'hop off' situation? Or more like an 'I'm down for this' versus 'I'm up for this' kinda situation? Because it would have very different outcomes depending.”
Seungkwan decides that this is a debate better left for another time. “I think it means that I'm going to be at your house soon and that if you're not in your pajamas with hot Sleepy Time tea and the series Planet Earth ready to go, there will be consequences.”
“Booooooo, you whore.”
He finishes tying his laces and jabs his finger at the phone. “Consequences, Y/n.”
“Ugh, fine.”
“See you soon, love you, bye.” He hangs up before you can get another word in, but doesn't move from his seated position in the entryway.
Slowly, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out, taking a moment to lean back on his hands while he stares at the back of his front door. Specifically, at the large collage of sticky notes and pictures and doodles that have taken up residence there.
A few of the notes are ones he's gotten from other members of your shared friend group over the years (the one from Chan that reads "if u eat my rice i'll eat ur kneecaps xoxo" hangs proudly in the center, right next to a picture of him sleeping that Seungkwan managed to capture from an extremely unflattering angle). But most of them are from you.
Dumb puns, meme references, bullshit animal facts you made up just to get him to laugh… almost all of them are stupid in that extremely charming way that only you somehow manage to pull off.
But the one he's staring at now is almost completely hidden by other notes and pictures that have been added to the collage. It's a pale blue, the ink starting to fade a bit with time — the first note you ever gave him, back when you two were just people who happened to sit next to each other in an astronomy class.
Even though most of it is hidden, he doesn't need to be able to see all the tiny words you crammed into the small space to already know exactly what it says.
how do u make a space party? u planet :P u looked sad today, hope this makes u feel a little better also if this is 2 forward feel free 2 pretend i don't exist. or punt me in2 the sun idk u'd be doing me a favor tbh
He'd almost skipped class that day because of how bad he'd been feeling, but he'd decided to try and push through. And before that day, neither of you had interacted with more than a polite greeting and the occasional question about the homework.
But then you'd passed him that note, and he'd passed one back that said “that's dumb. but thank you” with a smiley face, and you'd passed another one back that said “do u think lizard people have ever been to space?” and the rest, they say, is history.
Seungkwan shakes his head with a sigh before standing up and grabbing his bag and his keys, striding determinedly out the door. He's got a best friend to take care of.
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Seungkwan should be at your place soon, and you're not quite sure what to do in the meantime.
You have your laptop hooked up to the monitor in the living room with Planet Earth queued up, you have the kettle filled with water and ready to go on the stove, and you have mugs and teabags ready on the counter next to it.
The Required Tasks™️ have been completed as much as possible without the arrival of your best friend, and now all that's left to do is wait.
Which, normally, you're not the worst at. You're excellent at entertaining yourself, actually, mostly because there's always something to think about. Whether it be about cute dogs that you've seen over the past week (I wonder if the pomeranian down the street will let me pet him next time), potential plot twists for the new fantasy drama you're a little bit obsessed with (what if Gregothy was cursed the whole time???), or generic ponderings of the human existence as a whole (do souls have the metaphysical equivalent of a fingerprint?), you're pretty much always thinking about something.
Which is totally fine and dandy and cool or whatever when you have the ability to, you know, shut it off. For example, when you need to do something simple and necessary like, oh I don't know, go the fuck to sleep.
You also hate when that manic mental energy somehow translates into kinetic energy as well. It makes you feel like a hamster in a cage, watching yourself running and running and running on that stupid wheel until you exhaust yourself.
Tonight's metaphorical wheel: stimming like wild in the kitchen. Flapping, rocking, (gently) slapping, making weird and fun mouth sounds, the whole shebang.
And again, normally stimming is fun. Stimming is great. But stimming because you feel like if you don't stop moving you're going to literally vibrate out of your skin is, to put it lightly, Not It.
It takes you about ten minutes to work out all of the energy until you no longer feel like your blood was replaced with pop rocks.
With a groan, you lower yourself to the kitchen floor and lay down face first. Because despite how exhausted you feel in every possible way, there's still something like an itch in your conscious, a fucking pea underneath the miles of mattresses that refuse to let you just. Fucking. Sleep.
Your pity party must've lasted longer than you realized (or, more likely, you dissociated for a hot second there) because suddenly someone's knocking at your door at the same time you get a text from Seungkwan.
And you know it's a text from Seungkwan specifically because you got Vernon to help you change your notification settings so that whenever Seungkwan texts you, the "i love you.. bitch" sound clip plays instead of a normal text tone.
For a fraction of a second, you contemplate slowly inching your way to the door like an uncoordinated caterpillar, but you swat the thought aside like you’re swatting a gnat and you awkwardly roll to your feet and make your way to your front door.
Without hesitating, you unlock the door, swinging it open with a flourish and sticking a finger right in Seungkwan's face before he can utter a single syllable, forcing him to cross his eyes.
You open your mouth wide like you're going to say something, pause for a moment, then tap your pointed finger to his nose with a quiet "boop."
He blinks, expression turning deadpan, and sighs. "I should have expected this, honestly."
“Yep!”
You let him into your apartment, and he makes himself right at home, mildly bitching at you as he goes to get the tea ready, and something within you shifts.
The inside of your head is still a bit of a dumpster fire, unfortunately, but inside your chest... something clicks into place that you're not sure that you're ready to name. Whatever it is, though, it's soft and warm and kinda feels like your heart is being hugged.
Smiling to yourself, you follow him into the kitchen.
💤 💤 💤 💤 💤
It was pretty much straight to “business” after that, and it only takes Seungkwan one cup of tea and two episodes listening to David Attenborough's dulcet narrations for him to knock right out, leaning heavily against your shoulder on the couch.
Which means it's now the perfect time to sit there and Admire Your Bro™️.
It's rare to see him so still, you think. He's an active guy, in pretty much every sense of the word, and you always feel a little honored when you get to be witness to his quiet, vulnerable moments like this one.
He looks so serene, face smoothed out and painted in soft twirling shades of blue from the screen of the monitor, though you can't see too much of it from this angle. Mostly you just see his cheeks and stupidly adorable button nose.
And you've seen the same thing a million times before — in all kinds of states and expressions — and despite how much you've tried to ignore it, each and every time you've caught yourself noticing just how cute Seungkwan is, it's caused that thing in your heart to scrunch up, full of the L-word feeling that you've kept unnamed for what feels like forever now.
Except, maybe that thing in your heart is tired of scrunching up. Maybe it's decided that it's tired of forever.
Maybe that thing has finally decided to burrow itself out of the walls you've built up because you find yourself finally allowing yourself to think, Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.
You don't realize that Seungkwan has completely stilled against you, but you certainly notice when he suddenly throws himself forward so he can turn around and stare at you incredulously. Only he overshoots a little bit and ends up falling off the couch with a squawk and a dramatic flail.
"Oh my god, Kwannie are you okay?!"
He stares at you from where he fell, wide-eyed like you've grown a second head or like the time you'd tried to convince him that birds weren't real and actually just a government conspiracy.
"Am— am I okay? No??"
Now it's your turn to move off of the couch, coming down to his level to see if maybe he hurt himself when he fell. "Fuck, okay, did you hit something? Do you need an icepack?"
Seungkwan being Not Okay is maybe one of the worst things that could ever happen in the entire universe and you're trying not to panic as you reach out to check for injuries.
"No, no, stop—" he bats away at your hands and you stop in your motions, now kneeling in front of him. "I'm not hurt!"
Your brain does the cartoonish screech thing as it comes to a halt, and you furrow your brows. "But.. you just said you're not okay?"
"I'm not!" His eyes are still wide in shock, but he also looks confused and maybe a little bit like he's about to cry?
Oh no. If he cries and it's somehow your fault (because it has to somehow be your fault) you think the world might actually end.
"Okay, uh. I am— confused,” you start, sure you must look as lost as you feel. “But, um, what can I do to help?"
He swallows, and a part of you realizes that he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before. "Did you mean it?"
Knowing that it's significant but not yet knowing why, you maintain eye contact. "Mean what?"
"What you just said."
You blink. "...that I'm confused?"
He shakes his head. "No, before that."
You have a hard time remembering what you just said when you're not sleep-deprived and worried you've just somehow accidentally caused irreparable emotional damage to your best friend. "Uh... when I asked if you were okay?"
"No, fuck," and it's a shock for some reason, hearing him cuss right now. You hear him say much worse things all the time, but you think it might be the way he said it — with a kind of desperate vulnerability that you're not sure you've ever heard from him before.
That thing in your chest twinges and you think maybe you're the one who's gonna start crying.
He says your name like a plea, and then he's on his knees right in front of where you're kneeling on the floor, reaching forward to cup your face in his palms. "You said— Y/n, you said "holy shit I think I'm in love with you.””
Oh.
You're pretty sure your heart falls right out of your ass and bounces across the rug, judging from the way it comes to a dead stop. You blink at him. Full of new and sinking kind of dread, you whisper, "...I said that out loud?"
He laughs, but it's tinged with incredulity and sounds a little too close to a sob for comfort. "Yes! You did!"
And wait, no, your heart is still stuck in your chest, because you can feel it start pounding against your ribcage in double, triple, quadruple time. He must see the fear in your expression, because suddenly his eyes are narrowed in a determined scowl and he growls, "Oh no you don't."
Then you find yourself going down with a yelp as Seungkwan octopuses himself around you, trapping you within the confines of his surprisingly strong arms and legs as he basically tackles you to the floor.
You try and wiggle away even as you know it's useless, and he grits, "Y/n dammit, answer my question."
"Why were you even awake?” You deflect, getting an arm free and trying to give him a wedgie. “You were supposed to be asleep!"
"I was supposed to be asleep?!” He screeches, easily evading your reach and poking your ribs to get you to reflexively pull back your arm. “You're the one who hasn't slept in literal days! And stop avoiding my question!"
"No!" He has you trapped once again, and you resort to licking his arm.
"Oh my god!"
He muffles his scream into your shoulder, long and frustrated, and then he just... goes limp. He loosens his hold and just lets his full body weight kinda crush the parts of you he's ended up lying on and just... lays there.
This is your chance, you know — to wiggle free and escape and run away from your feelings just like you always have.
But, for some reason, you don't — that scrunched-up thing in your chest holds you back. You stay there, lying beneath Seungkwan on the floor of your living room at one-something in the morning, and the two of you just breathe.
"It's okay, you know," he murmurs after a moment, so quiet you barely hear him over David Attenborough still narrating softly in the background. "If you didn't mean it. It's okay."
Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.
And you realize how easy it would be to play it off, to blame it on the sleep deprivation, the way you blurted it out like that — to say (to lie) you meant it completely platonically, like the way you propose to Mingyu at least once a month when he cooks you all dinner.
And you also realize, quite shockingly, that despite how a part of you still desperately wants to run away, the larger part of you wants to stay. Doesn't want to run. Doesn't want to lie anymore.
You swallow heavily, briefly close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. "And if I did? Mean it?"
This time, you do notice when Seungkwan goes still. Slowly, he lifts his head so he can look you in the eyes.
When he doesn't say anything, just continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, you try to continue.
"Would you— would that— would it be okay? If I meant it? When I— when I said that I'm in love with you? Is— because um, like you said, it's okay if it's not, and uh—"
Your nervous rambling comes to a stop when he once again cups your face, but it's gentler than before, closer to a caress. The whole time you'd been talking he'd been slowly sitting up, and now he's on his knees next to where you're still lying down on the floor, looking down at you like all the hope in the world is somewhere to be found in your expression.
"Y/n." he says your name like it's something precious, and you feel the absurd urge to burst into tears. "It would be very okay." His thumbs make gentle arcs across your cheeks. "And just to be clear: you mean it in a non-platonic sense, right?” He chews on his lip. “Hopefully, in a very much romantic sense?"
Staring at him staring at you, eyes bright with hope and a little bit of wonder... you can only imagine you must be looking at him the same way. Your chest feels like it's full of helium but also like something warm and gooey is sloshing around in there. And all that hope and wonder and holy shit is this actually happening? is causing your tongue to stick to the roof of your mouth, and all you're able to get past your lips is a breathless, "Hopefully?"
"Oh my god," he groans in frustration, but it's light and airy and makes you think of amusement park rides and fairy lights and how you want to annoy the shit out of this man for the rest of his life, if he'll let you. He's shaking his head, smiling, beaming, and he asks, "Why can you never give me any kind of a straight answer, huh?"
"Because it's my life's purpose to be the bane of your existence until the day we die," you say, reaching up to hold his face too. "Also because I've never done anything straight ever in my life."
And then your body is moving before your brain can think it though, dragging him down until you can press your lips to his and finally, finally know what it's like to kiss Boo Seungkwan.
He makes a little noise of surprise, one that you can feel buzz against your lips before he melts into you. And oh, any thoughts you might have had are forcefully ejected from your brain because all you can focus on are his lips pressed to yours, the way they move slowly, gently, turning this chaste kiss into the most scorching experience of your life. His nose bumps against yours and the heat of his warm breath sends tingles throughout your body, and his hands, fuck, his hands are still holding you gently but also with a firmness that feels like he doesn't want to let you go.
And then he's pulling away, and you whine at him because this may be the cruelest thing he's ever done to you ever in your entire life. "Noooooo, why'd you stop?"
"Because, as much as I'd love to continue to make out with you on your floor while an old British man narrates about life on the Serengeti—” he mercifully ignores the way you choke on your spit at the way he talks about making out with you so nonchalantly "—it's past someone's bedtime."
Your mouth drops open in offended shock. Was he actually going to put you to bed like a child? Like you both hadn't just declared your romantic love for each other? "Are you fucking serious?"
He just stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at you with a single raised eyebrow. You take the part of you that finds it annoyingly attractive and promptly smother it, crossing your own arms from your position on the floor.
"I'm not a baby," you definitely don't pout.
"Hmmm...” And then the bastard fucking pouts at you. “But you're my baby."
You blink at him.
"Welp, that was nice while it lasted,” you grunt, rolling to your feet, “but I suddenly need to relocate to Antarctica and become a penguin herder.”
He pulls you into his arms with a laugh, and you let him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.
“You know,” he starts after he's held you for a few moments. “This isn't how I ever imagined how us confessing to each other would go.”
You snort.
“But also,” he continues, “it feels very 'us' doesn't it?”
"Yeah,” you murmur, not bothering to lift your head from his shoulder.
“Mmm, is someone finally sleepy?” he teases, starting to waddle you both towards your bedroom. “Did all the emotions finally wear you out?”
Instead of nodding, you lightly kick him in the shin and the sappy part of your brain that is currently in charge of everything thinks that his indignant squawk is one of your most favorite sounds.
The sappy part of your brain is right, of course, and when you wake up in your bed 15 hours later and accidentally smack him in the face, the urge to run is a little bit smaller than it was before. And the way he flushes bright red after you sleepily kiss him on the cheek is an image you're going to cherish until the day you die.
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eimids · 7 months
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Weddings and heartbreaks
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Warnings: Angst, sad stuff but like who doesn't love that
Lucy Bronze x Ona Battle, Lucy x reader before
Quick blurb.
"I do" Lucy said smiling to her bride. There was tears in her eyes and she seemed genuinely happy.
"I declare you as wife and wife! You may kiss the bride" The officiant announced and everyone cheered. You watched as Lucy kissed Ona passionately. Just like she had done with you a while before.
Lucy was finally happy with someone and you were happy for her. It just hurt that the someone wasn't you.
Lucy looked at you at one point. There were tears in both of your eyes. Lucy thought that they were happy tears but they were so much more. You had many great years with Lucy. One day she just fell out of love. You told her that you understood but that day your heart broke into million little peaces.
You had thought that Lucy was your endgame. You thought that one day you would get married and live happily ever after but that was too much to ask. You didn't see it coming when Lucy wanted to talk to you. It was the worst day of your life and you never got over Lucia.
The ceremony quickly changed into a party and drinks were shared and many dances danced. Everyone was happy expect for you. You were miserable. You had to watch the love of your life be happy with someone else. You tried to seem normal as you held a conversation with your best friend Alexia but she saw right through you.
"What's going on?" Alexia straight up asked.
"Nothing. What do you mean?" You tried to deny.
"I know you still have feelings for her y/n" She said back to you. Not believing your lies. You moved away from the dance floor to sit in a chair. Alexia came sitting next to you.
"I don't just like her Ale. I fucking love her and will never stop loving her" You whispered trying so hard not to cry. "I'm happy for her but it's just hurts too much to see her with another woman who is everything I couldn't be. Ona is amazing and they are perfect together but I still wish that it would be me" You continued. You couldn't fight the tears anymore.
Ale hugged you as you cried to her. She knew you needed someone to listen and not judge and she wanted to be that person. After You calmed down a bit you continued talking.
"I've decided to leave Barca and go to Arsenal." You confessed to the captain. Ale looked shocked.
"Y/n you don't have to do that. The team is so much better with you in it. I'm better with you here." Ale said with a sad tone.
"But I do have to do that. I can't watch those two be the perfect happy couple. I just can't do that right now. It will be better for all of us"
"Please just think about this for a little while longer y/n" Alexia pleaded.
"The transfer is already done. I have made my decision already and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. Maybe in couple of years I will be back but right now this is what I have to do"
"I understand that. But please promise me that we will stay in contact. And you'll come and visit me often. I can't do life without you" Ale said with now tears in her eyes.
"Of course Ale, you are my best friend and you are not getting rid of me that easily" You laughed a little. You stayed with Ale for a while before continuing to the party.
"What the fuck y/n" Lucy yelled to the phone.
"What are you talking about?" You tried to act clueless but knew exactly what she was talking about.
"You know what I'm talking about y/n. You are going to Arsenal??" She continued angrily.
"Yes Lucia. I'm going to Arsenal and I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I was going to tell you I promise" You tried.
"Y/n I thought we were still friends. Aren't friends supposed to talk about this kind of stuff. You can't just leave. I don't want you to go" Lucy said. You could hear the hurt in her voice.
"It's not about what you want Lucy. I still love you okay and for some reason you don't seem to notice that. And I'm so happy that you finally have the life you have always wanted but I can't help the fact that I'm heartbroken that it's not with me. I love you Lucia and I just need to get away from all of this"
That's all you said before ending the call.
You had fell in love with the wrong person.
---
Angst <3
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deadpool15 · 7 months
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The best
"Hello, we are the feisty, sexy JAM REPUBLIC!!" The yelling always gets me, I sit there smiling while fixing my dress or simply trying to pull it down. When the girls agreed on wearing black, I showed up in pink, trying to represent all both of the national colors. I was then given a blanket as I thanked the staff and placed it on my lap. "We are here to work hard, though I can say I'm excited to see what everyone brings to the table. It's fun because we are the serious judges now." I stated while smiling at my team and holding Audrey's hand. We are then brought the cards, "I have a feeling about some of the other teams. What do you think about it, babes?" She turned around, showing off her little dimples before saying, "I feel like it's gonna be some teams we have seen before and a few mysterious ones, you know."
I agree before adjusting the blanket on my lap and watching our wonderful leader reveal the crew. Of course, when I saw BEBE, I wasn't shocked. Bada and I had been dating for a while, technically before the show started, well, at least in her opinion. She had been trying to get with me way before we got to street women fighter, but I genuinely believed those feelings weren't real. No matter how much she tried to tell me of send me gifts and pick me up from work. I know what you're thinking, "like fuck can you be any more dense." Well in my opinion I've had people work extremely hard for a fuck, I'm talking overtime with no breaks. Though she showed me the real her and we opened up to each other about some tough situations and at that moment I knew I was in love with her. Shit I had been the entire time, and I was simply trying to protect my heart.
Other crews weren't exactly a surprise either, though when 1MILLION added another dancer I was a but surprised, I've seen her dancing style for a while and she was good as fuck. "New scenery, me like it, girls." Latrice laughed at me while hitting my shoulder, with Kirsten giving us the motherly like pointed eye stare, meaning she meant business. Though in this situation I think it just meant to shut the fuck up politely. We saw some other times with Hook coming back and making an appearance, Aiki was a judge last time I saw her, and even though I didn't watch her season, I've heard great things about her. Like Bada, she had her students on her crew, and they showed out. "Still can't believe she is older than us or has a kid." We joked a lot about how the hottest people on set were taken.
Seeing LA CHICA was new as well. As soon as the cameras turned off, Latrice looked at me. "Is it bad I don't know the last crew?" I laughed at that. I mean shit not that funny but funny. "Stop laughing and tell me what they have done." I tried to stop my laughs but ended up laughing harder. "To be honest, the leader is just known for a lot of cultural appropriation in my book." The rest of the girls turned around with Kirsten stated we are in korea, so that's accurate.' We all start to get up and move towards set. We were really the only ones to film the outro since we arrived late. Seeing all the crews stand sit there on their podiums was kinda amazing, mainly knowing we would go up there as well. "Funny how we aren't the ones dancing."
After a while of sitting and the occasional introductions of different crews. We also had the smoke challenge performed by BEBE that awed the crowd. We were finally sitting down, and a few selective girls had already shown their dancing skills. Everything was going well so far. Until some girl thought she could pull a sexy choreography. It was actually sad to watch. "It simply wasn't for me, I felt like it could've had more of a wow factor or just better moves. Everything seemed sloppy, and it didn't fit your persona at all." Everyone looked at me after the harsh criticism, I guess no one expected me to be real. I turned to the side to notice Redlic has been winking at me. Weird. You see, me and her didn't exactly have a friendship. She and Bada were friends due to working together previously on dances as well as classes. In my opinion she was too friendly.
Though, not to Bada but to me. She was always winking and trying to hug me or asking me on dates. Now everyone pretty much knew that me and Bada were a thing except the public per my decision. Bada thought it would be a good idea to show the world our love, and while I was glad she wasn't ashamed of it, I knew the outcomes of it. Now I'm not scared by any means of what the world has to say, shit I came out while working as a dancer for beyonce during a tour to thousands of people. But, those opinions mattered to Bada, and as much as she liked to tell me this and that I knew the truth. Redlic saw this as an opportunity even going as far as stated. If you aren't public, then it doesn't really count. After a while, I realized I spaced out and was brought back to reality when I heard Redlic open her mouth. "I'm sure my sqeet angel Ellie could show you how it's done. She is known for being sexy without trying. I mean, come on, people just look at her."
I sat there shocked while plastering on a fake smile shyly shaking my head to disagree with her statement. But it was too late. She had already convinced half of the crowd, and before I knew it, everyone expected me to dance. I took a look over in my girlfriends direction and saw her face. She was smiling, but I knew that smile. She was anything hut happy. She also looked like she wanted to kick Redlics ass. I guess I was taking too long before I felt a hand reaching over to grab me and pull me to the stage. I looked over and saw Redlic smiling at me, telling the crowd to watch and learn. "So much for not dancing today." I whispered. I heard the music, Beyonce, of course it was. Realizing they had decided to play partition out of all the songs seemed like the world was against me today. Redlic had grabbed my hip, squeezing it while smiling at me. At that moment I knew I was fucked.
We danced together with me, somehow ending up between her legs while smirking st thr camera seductively. Might as well put on a show. If anyone would see us, they would think we were involved or fucking. After we finished, she pulled me closer. It almost looked like we were kissing, so I pushed her away softly and laughed nervously. Seeing the look on Bada's face, let me know I wasn't gonna walk tomorrow. I heard the crowd giving us applauds with Redlic, not trying to let go of my waist, like girl you trying to get me killed in this bitch. After a while, we were called on break. I was scared as shit obviously. I managed to avoid Bada for some time before I was waking down the hall going back to meet uo with the girls after getting a snack, and I saw Lusher. I tried to slowly back away, and she noticed to me. "Bada said she would like to talk to you, unnie, and she said she wouldn't bet on you running because you know. I don't really know what the second part means, but apparently, she said you do so, yea. She is in our crew room, and she seemed pissed so I wouldn't keep her waiting. Plus, you two live together, so don't prolong the war." At times like this, I wish she wasn't so clueless. She was literally leading me to my death.
I sighed and started walking to the direction of the crew room, fuck I can already feel the pain in my legs. As I was trying to give myself a little pep talk I realized I was standing in front of the door. Thinking about it, maybe this was a bad idea. Fuck I'm scared. "Get you ass in here, and don't make me repeat myself, little girl." Yearing her voice like that kinda turned me on until I realized she was gonna murder me. I walked into the room, seeing her sit there on the couch man spreading while staring at me with a glare. "You put on quite the show, didn't you? I would say I loved it, but I mean, did I baby? Was a bit confused on why you randomly decided to throw you ass. Wait, let me rephrase that. Throw my ass back against that girl." She motioned me to walk over na di stood between her legs until she pulled me down. "You hear that, my ass. Because you mine, belong to me. All of you are mine. Seems like you forgot, let me remind you then, what do you say, baby?" I nodded mindless to her commands. "Who's the best baby, say it?" I could barely heat her when she started to grind me against her lap. "Say it pretty." I managed to mutter it out finally. "You're the best, baby. Only you. Always you."
(Request by @pinksults)
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AITA for pretending my original fictional characters are my "friends" for the purpose of asking questions online?
Alright, so hear me out: I'm a writing hobbyist, I run a long-term D&D campaign, I like writing characters a lot and sometimes do it even outside of any stories, you could even say that it's my passion. Whenever I create a character that would have experience with something that I don't, I try to experience that thing myself, or if I can't, I ask others online about their experiences to make sure I can write my character accurately.
Here's the problem: back when I used to ask questions online from a writing/creative perspective, I felt like a lot of them concerning more controversial topics were getting dismissed and I got a lot of unsolicited writing advice unrelated to the original question. The most infuriating were always "You shouldn't write a character like that." or "You should change this integral part of the character to remove the issue that you're having."
Now, you can have whatever opinions you want about writing certain aspects of characters, but I would kindly ask you to shove them up your ass. I firmly believe that you can't judge a character accurately merely by their character traits written down in a vacuum, the execution is what really matters. One trait that could be seen as problematic when written badly can really enhance the character, story and it's themes if incorporated correctly. I'm not going to remove integral story-relevant characteristics of my OCs, and I sure as hell am not gonna delete them entirely just because an internet rando didn't believe that I could do them justice. Literally the entire reason why I'm asking these questions in the first place is because I'm trying to be as respectful/accurate to your culture/ethnicity/sexuality/gender/religion/disability/anything else. I GENUINELY want to learn and understand, so why don't you at least try to give me the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming it'll be done terribly?
Anyway, to give some examples of the questions that I've asked that were met with this kind of response:
"How would you write an autistic character who uses ASL but doesn't like to emote with their face?" (Was told to simply "make" the character like using their face even though it would go against how their other symptoms interact with each other, plus it would change how other characters view them and thus the story itself)
"What kind of slang would a black character raised in Brooklyn use?" (Was told to not write a black character using slang as a white person.)
"How would a Muslim character go about leaving their religion after losing their faith?" (Was told that the mere idea of an ex-muslim person was offensive)
I don't know if other writers also struggle with this, or if I'm just the unluckiest and always attract those kinds of people somehow, but after having to deal with it way too much I simply started lying and pretending that my characters are real so people would stop questioning my writing choices and just focus on answering my actual questions. For example, instead of the three questions above nowadays I would ask:
"Me and my Autistic friend are learning ASL together, but she doesn't like making expressions for sensory reasons. Is there anything else she can do?"
"What are some examples of actual slang used by black people in Brooklyn? My friend is from there but he likes to mess with me by coming up with fake words and pretending like they're slang, at this point idk what to believe."
"My friend lost their faith and is planning on leaving Islam. They don't have access to internet due to their parents so they wanted me to ask about what could be the possible consequences and how go about the process, or even where to start."
Also, obviously, I do way more research than just these questions, but I also really want to know the opinion of people in these communities about these topics and the discussion that develops from it. That's not something that simply reading a book or an article on a topic can give you and I believe that interacting with the community itself is an important part of properly portraying characters that belong to them as well. Still, a few of my friends told me that it's kinda shitty of me to lie in this way, especially when the end goal is to be respectful about certain traits yet me lying to these people is a sign of disrespect in their opinion. Personally I don't see it that way, I simply want people answering my questions to treat them seriously and if presenting them as real scenarios is what gets them to do it I feel like I have no choice, it has nothing to do with the respect I have for the communities in question.
Also, if this matters at all: 90% of my writing is entirely personal and will never be published in any way at all, the other 10% being the writing that I do for my D&D campaign which only my players get to witness.
So, with all of that out of the way, AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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bixels · 4 months
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When you're done with Farewell my Turnabout, I'm curious - many fans say that it's one of, if not the best case in the series. Do you have strong opinions one way or the other? What have been your favorite cases so far?
SPOILERS:
By far the best I've played. The highest stakes in any case thus far. So smart of the writers to put a character everyone universally loves DEATH in mortal peril to motivate Phoenix (and the player). They were unafraid of taking risks and hurting characters like Franziska and Gumshoe. They finally gave us what we've were hoping and waiting for too, which is Gumshoe and Edgeworth working alongside Phoenix. It was so, so, so incredibly satisfying seeing Edgeworth on your side and being a genuinely good guy, worrying about Maya's safety, and play-acting to stall for time. The judge was extremely funny. The twists were insane and unexpected.
By far my favorite part of this case is how it throws the entire series' conceit into question. It challenges Phoenix (and the player's) ideas of what it means to "win" at the game. Does finding justice mean finding the "true" killer, pinning the blame on someone else? Or does it mean making sure those who have committed crimes are able to tell their whole story and meet an appropriate sentencing? This is the first time Phoenix has had to defend someone who's 100% guilty. Was it right of him to pursue and accuse Adrian so vehemently? Throughout the case, you're constantly reminded of the trade-off you're potentially making: Adrian's life for Maya's, and Engarde's acquittal (remember those guilty are given the death penalty). Is it right to put someone to death if it means saving someone you care about? These are serious moral dilemmas that the case explores. What are the consequences of trying to "win" the game? Powers even calls out Phoenix's aggressive tactics of humiliating and throwing suspicion onto innocent witnesses, which is something that's been normalized to players. It's the first time I've seen the franchise question its own premise and whether or not it's teaching the player the right lessons about law and order.
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beachylupin · 9 months
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I'd Have You Anytime || Remus Lupin x Muggle!Fem!Reader
i've risen from the dead just to finish and post this! i'm sorry for such the long wait everyone! but here it is! i'm hoping this is sufficient, but i personally love muggle!fem!reader, so she might make a comeback eventually. feedback is welcomed and appreciated! to preface: this part takes place near the first half/middle-ish of november part one (mb), part two (mb), moodboard for this part word count: 3.1k warnings: fluff!!!!!, pining, depression mess, maybe like three swear words
Not working for a week after the pub incident was a blessing in disguise. You were able to break down in silence with nobody secretly judging you. You stayed mainly in your bed, ignoring every phone call and worried message from Lily, James, and even Sirius. Some calls never came with a message, and you feared that it was Remus trying to reach you, so you decided to answer no calls at all.
It was quiet, but it was necessary.
By the end of the week, all your thoughts led to the same conclusion: you were horribly in love with Remus.
As stupid as it may seem, you had fallen for him, and you weren’t getting up anytime soon.
That’s why you acted rashly and left the pub crying. That’s why you shouted at him. You were terrified. Loving someone was a terrifying thing to do, especially when you didn’t really know them. You’d seen Remus twice, and surely that wasn't enough times to truly love someone.
But it strangely was, and you loved him.You knew it because he’s all you could think about. He plagued your thoughts. His face, his eyes, the scars: every part of him was constantly on your mind. Even his voice filled your mind even though you’ve talked to him maybe twice, and one of those times was yelling.
From the chill that ran down your spine when you first saw him, you knew he was the one. There was no doubting that.
Journaling seemed to help, and you spent most of that week doing just that. You wrote pages and pages and ink stained your fingers as you tried to figure out the answer on how you could salvage things, but the answer never really turned up. The only real answer you found is how desperate you were for true love.
A pound on your door caught you by surprise the day before you were supposed to go back to work. You paused your seventh watch through of Romeo and Juliet and walked to the door. You opened it, seeing a crazed-eyed Lily.
“I thought you were dead!” She exclaimed, pushing past you into your flat. “Why didn’t you answer?!”
“Because-”
“When was the last time you cleaned?” She asked, picking up a discarded pizza box from the couch and tossing it on the counter.
You looked around your apartment, suddenly feeling self conscious about its current state. It was a disaster. Pizza boxes, crisp bags, and soda cans lined every surface, and dishes were piled up in the sink. Clothes were strewn everywhere even though you stayed in one outfit for the past week.
“When was the last time you showered?” Lily asked, more concerned than put off by your noticeably greasy appearance.
You shrugged, genuinely not knowing. You knew it had to be at least a week ago.
“Babes,” Lily cooed, holding your hands in hers. “Pull yourself together. He’s just a guy-”
You sighed heavily, shaking your head. “He’s not just-”
“-who still very much would like to see you again,” she finished over you, a spark evident in her eyes. “Especially if you showered,” she mumbled, smiling as you turned red.
You dropped her hands as you threw her a playful glare. “I take it that you’d enjoy seeing me better if I was showered too?”
Lily shrugged, smiling coyly as she mumbled, “I won’t say yes, but it’d be preferred.”
You loosed a sigh. “Fine,” you said, making your way to the bathroom. “Just for you.”
Showering felt nice, and you hadn’t realized what you were missing until you were under the hot water. Because of that, your shower was longer intended, and the water ran cold by the time you were done cleaning yourself off.
You didn’t bother dressing yet since you knew Lily wouldn’t judge you, so you slipped on your robe, making your way to the living room, where she had conquered the mess the trash bags.
“Thought you might’ve died in there,” Lily said from the kitchen, her hands lost in dirty dishwater.
“I had to get clean,” you sighed, your shoulders slumping forward. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“I know I didn’t,” she replied, putting yet another clean dish on the drying rack. “You’re my friend, and I care about you so I wanted to.”
You hugged her from behind, your cheek pressing into her back as she washed another dish.
“I love you,” you mumbled, and she shut off the tap, turning to give you a proper hug.
“I love you too,” she said, squeezing you tighter before letting go. “Which is why-” she sang, a smile growing on her face. “You’ll come to my holiday party next week, won’t you?”
“Isn’t it a bit early?” You asked, realizing it wasn’t even December.
“Everyone does something different for holidays,” she sighed dramatically. “This is the only time that everyone will be together, and I don’t want you to miss it.” You didn’t say anything, so Lily continued. “I know the whole Remus thing didn’t work out, but I can say for certain that he still would love to see you, okay? Just talk to him. Invite him over or something whenever you see him next.”
You sighed. “I’ll think about it.”
Instead of protesting like normal, Lily nodded, smiling softly. “Come on. Let’s go watch movies like we did when we were girls.”
Lily was gone before you woke up, leaving you a note and a scone.
“Have a great day back! Xoxo Lily,” the note read. You took a bite of the scone, getting dressed for work, and began your walk to the cafe down the road.
Melanie was incoherently swearing at the oven when you came in through the back, dropping a pan of what looked like charcoal on the countertop.
She was your co-worker, and you considered her a friend, but she was horrible at her job. You feared for anyone who had to drink her chunky coffee, eat her blackened pastries, and listen to her swear in Gaelic in the week you were gone.
“There’s a guy waiting out there for you,” Melanie huffed, watching you as you tied a clean apron around your waist. “Been here since this mornin’.”
“Oh, really?” You asked, rolling your eyes. “Is it Ed?” You smiled, thinking of the old man with kind eyes who always asked for you to make his drinks. You missed him dearly.
“No, he’s a younger guy… Like our age,” she replied, chucking the burnt pastries in the trash. “He’s been here every day for a week lookin’ specifically for you. Had to ask him to leave by noon so he wasn’t takin’ up a table.” She glanced up at the time, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “I left him today because I knew you’d be here. Didn’t order anything yet, though. ‘M sure he’ll do that once he sees you.”
“Oh.” You felt your face flush, and you suddenly started toying with your hair. You should be creeped out by this, but your heart soars. Somebody is here to see you. “Is he cute?”
“Decent, I guess,” Melanie said with a sigh, glancing at your nervous hands. “You look fine. Just go get his order before he sits here all day looking sad again.”
You rolled your eyes, dropping your hands. “Are you sure-”
“Just go,” Melanie laughed, giving you a playful push out of the kitchen.
He was standing at the counter, his neck hardly craned to see the menu above him. Your heart dropped to your stomach, the sour ache in your chest coming back with a vengeance.
“Remus,” you tried to say, breathier than you wanted. Shit.
“Hiya,” he said. He hardly looked at you, his eyes focused on the menu. “I’m having trouble picking something to order...”
He was so nonchalant, it made your heart ache. His hair was slicked back, like he had just woken up and showered, which was a high possibility since it was only noon. A leather bomber jacket hid a green button up and brown corduroys. He was smiling at you as he stuck his hands in his pockets.
“What’s your favorite drink?” He asked, bringing you back into the conversation. “The other girl just kept giving me black coffee.”
“Melanie has poor taste,” you mumbled, flushing as you looked away from him. “Chocolate?”
“Huh?”
“Do you like chocolate?” You asked.
“I love chocolate,” he said, smiling.
You nodded, silently turning on your heel to start working on his drink.
Your mind, however, was anything but. You were racking your brain on what to say to him. Do you bring it up? Do you invite him over? You could tell Melanie that you needed to take a break, but you just got there, and she would flip her lid. You knew you were going to need the break after the lunch rush. Prepping a conversation failed you last time, and this time, you just needed to wing it. 
You sighed, losing a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in, as you shaved chocolate over top of the whipped cream topping. You turned around, presenting the drink with a smile, ignoring the way your hands started shaking.
“Sweet lord,” Remus mumbled, his hand outstretched. “How much do I owe you?”
You handed him the cup, your fingers brushing as he busied his other hand with cash.
“‘S on the house,” you said quietly, your eyes not leaving where his fingers grazed yours. “Don’t tell me that you’ve been paying for Melanie’s black coffee all week.”
“Ahh, so she told you?” Remus asked, his brow quirked. “You probably think I’m creepy-”
“Endearing?” You finished his sentence before his lips even formed the ‘c,’ “Look, Remus-” Your heartbeat quickened. This was it. It’s happening.
“I’m all ears,” he said, grabbing your hand lightly before the bell ringing above the door distracted you.
“Hi! I’ll be right with you!” You greeted the old woman before locking eyes with Remus. “I’m off at eight,” you said, your voice wavering with nerves
A ding of the bell at the counter this time caught Remus’ attention now, making him glance over.
“Just a second, alright?” You tried to sound sweet, tightly smiling at her. You looked back at Remus, squeezing his hand lightly. “Come back-”
The woman dinged the bell impatiently, and Remus huffed, looking at her. “We’re in the middle of a conversation! Just wait a second!” He snapped, his attention back on you immediately. “I’ll walk you home, yeah?”
Your heart skipped a beat as you nodded. “I’ll see you then.”
“I’ll be here at eight sharp,” he said as the bell rang again. “Better deal with her,” he mumbled, dropping your hand as he backed away from the counter.
“Right,” you half laughed, rolling your eyes with a smile. “Work.” They dinged the bell again, clearing their throat. “I’m coming!” You huffed, throwing a brief smile to Remus before attending to the impatient customer.
“Sorry, we’re closed!” You called, your back turned toward the dinging door as you wiped down the counter.
“Damnit,” you heard him hiss. “I wanted one of those… whatever you made me this morning.”
You turned around, finding Remus at the counter clutching a bouquet of sunflowers.
“A cafe mocha.” Your voice was breathy just like this morning, and your cheeks turned pink as he set the sunflowers down on the counter.
“Should probably get those in some water,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “They didn’t like the cold.”
You grabbed the bouquet, plucking off a dried petal. “Where’d you get them?”
Remus shrugged, a smile playing at his lips. “I know a really good florist.”
You nodded quietly, understanding what he meant as you grabbed a large coffee cup, filling it with water. “Make yourself at home,” you said, busying yourself with the bouquet. “I still have to put a few things away… Wipe down a few surfaces. It’ll take me five minutes tops.”
Remus nodded, his hands still in his pockets as he turned on his heel, perusing his way toward the bookshelves near the front of the cafe.
Rather than getting to the work that you had, you watched him.
His long, slender fingers grazed the books as he looked at them, taking his time to look at each spine. He gasped quietly to himself, pulling the book from the shelf.
“Do you mind?” He asked as if he knew you were looking at him, holding up a book.
“As long as you bring it back,” you replied, instantly getting back to work to hide your reddened cheeks.
“I’ll probably be back here tomorrow,” he said, slipping the book in his pocket. “If you’ll have me.”
“Oh, I’d have you anytime,” you replied, glancing up at him to catch him staring and smiling softly. Your heart clenched as you cleared your throat. “What book did you pick?”
“The Shining by Stephen King.” Remus made his way back to the counter, watching you as you put dishes away. “Have you read it?” You nodded, finishing up. “Was it any good?”
“Do you want to know what it’s about?” You asked, facing him as he nodded. You smiled, undoing your apron. “Alright. I’ll tell you all about it.”
“So Danny can see these people?” Remus asked, clutching the book to his chest as he kept up with you on the quick walk.
“Well, they’re ghosts,” you laughed at his reaction. “They aren’t real-”
“Ghosts are very much real,” he said, his eyebrows raised. “I’ve seen them.”
“Well in this case, Danny sees them in his head,” you explained. “It’s the shine.”
“Ahh, I love it when the book title works its way into the story,” Remus sighed, smiling as you slowed. “Is this you?”
You nodded. “This is me,” you confirmed, looking down at the cup of flowers. “You uh-”
“I’ll see you around,” he said quietly, squeezing your elbow.
“You can come up.” You swallowed the nervous lump in your throat. “Uh- If you want?”
Remus seemed to stand straighter. “I would love that.”
You smiled, pushing open the complex door, holding it for him to duck inside.
He followed you closely up the stairs, his hands in his pockets. You focused on your feet, knowing that if you didn’t, you’d surely trip. Your brain was screaming, but you kept quiet, the burning in your chest coming back.
You made it to your flat, and you fumbled with the keys, unlocking your door and shuffled inside, Remus in tow.
Closing the door you sighed. “Did you give me a love potion?” You asked candidly, setting the flowers on the counter.
“What?” Remus was still at the door, toeing off his shoes.
“At the wedding?” You could feel your face flushing, feeling stupid, but continuing on anyway. “You gave me a potion you called a sober-up potion… Was it actually-”
“Love potions are very unstable,” he said quietly. “Why would you think that I’d give you one?”
You shrugged. “It’s an easier explanation than what’s really going on.”
“And that is?”
“I think I’ve fallen in love with you,” you admitted quietly. “That’s stupid, right?”
“I don’t think that’s stupid,” Remus quietly cooed. “I really like you,” he started, his hand now on your shoulder. “I don’t reckon you heard that at the pub even though I told you thrice.”
“Still?” You guffawed when he nodded matter-of-factly. “Remus, I don’t think if you’re remembering right, but I was a c-”
“You should really listen,” he reminded you, his tone lilting. You stopped, crossing your arms over your chest. He took a step away from you, leaning on the counter across from you. “You were looking at the moon. Saying how you preferred the sun more because without it, the moon would just be another dark rock. That made me think, you know? Would I be just a dark rock without you someday? Could I ever get so lucky?”
Your heart clenched at his words, but he continued, ignoring the way your eyebrows pinched together as you nodded.
“Sunflowers,” he said, nodding at the bouquet in its coffee cup vase. “They reminded me of you. They represent sunshine, you know.”
You felt like crying. You felt like kissing him and never stopping. Nobody had ever been this kind, this open, with you before. You swallowed, looking away from him.
“I got full body chills when I caught you looking at me at Lily’s wedding. I thought, ‘I need to buck up and talk to him.’ Then you talked to me while I was reeling over how handsome you are,” you said quietly.
Remus shook his head softly. “You’re just saying-”
“No,” you said, cutting him off. “It’s your turn to listen.”
He conceded, hands going up in quiet allowance for you to continue. You sighed, tucking your hair behind your ears.
“I regretted going to the pub because you were there, and you felt different. Like… like the one that got away.” It was like word-vomit. Once you started, you just couldn’t stop, so you continued. “The one that didn’t want me, and I’m so desperate for someone to want me that I start to get angry. I want to be wanted, you know? And I was terrified, Remus, because I love you, and it seemed like you wanted nothing to do with me. A-and now, I just can’t believe that someone like you would want something like me.
“Someone who yelled at you for a misunderstanding. Someone who opens her stupid mouth and ruins absolutely everything.” You hadn’t realized that you started crying until you paused to take a breath, sniffling up tears instead. “Someone who isn’t magic- God, I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, hey,” he said, crossing to where you were standing. Slightly crouching, he held your arms, thumbs brushing your biceps lightly. “None of that matters,” he cooed. “I was never mad. A little confused, but hey, aren’t we all?”
You let out a wet chuckle, shrugging. “I suppose.”
“I want you, okay?” He said, cupping your cheeks. “I want you.”
Remus leaned in, eyes flicking between your lips and your eyes as if waiting for your approval. You met him halfway, capturing his lips in yours in a soft kiss. Your heart clenched as you pushed closer to him, hands meeting his stubbly jaw before he pulled away.
“I love you, and you are wanted, alright? Don’t you ever forget that,” he reassured you, smiling.
You nodded. “Okay,” your voice came out raspy, causing you to flush. “Could we do that again?”
“Oh, I’d have you anytime, love,” he said. “Anytime.”
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nanomooselet · 4 months
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Little but Fierce
Now, I might be mistaken, but judging by the number of bare pectoral muscles strewn over my dash at any given moment, I'm gonna say Wolfwood is pretty popular? And that's understandable (he's a loser <3) but it's a genuinely terrible shame that Meryl gets overlooked. Especially in Stampede. Orange have done some really amazingly cool things with Meryl.
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And it makes me a little nervous to say so, but I think they only could have done them by detaching her from Milly, at least for a time. Milly's still going to show up and I'm confident from this precedent they'll treat her well, so I'm at peace with her absence for now.
Nightow is unexpectedly good in many ways. He treats sex workers as human, which is a low bar that many nevertheless fail to clear, and my only serious disappointment in Maximum was in how the girls vanished for long periods. I recall an interview where he said something to the effect of being reluctant to put them in harm's way, and while I'm disinclined to take anything Nightow says entirely at face value (I don't think he's a liar, but I do think he has a sense of humour that inclines him to kindly trolling, which I respect), that would line up, I think.
I think Orange are taking the opportunity to remedy this disappointment.
It's exciting. It's the kind of writing for female characters in genre media I've always craved. I will not be silenced on how extremely gay I am for Meryl Stryfe.
Unfortunately that means for this first entry, I'll have to talk about Knives. (Whom I also love, but not in a gay way. More an affectionate revulsion. He's fascinatingly horrible, this man.)
So. I've noticed a distressing tendency for Knives's... really almost anything that ever comes out of his mouth (seriously) to be taken as the honest, objective truth. After all, they didn't call him a villain.
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And what an honest face he has!
As Knives has it:
Vash is pretty, but he's useless without his brother. He's a powerless, weak, pathetically naïve, blubberingly sentimental little baby who doesn't care about the Plants, too busy enabling humanity's abuse via performing his cringing, grasping abasement before them to notice how his brethren suffer. Knives himself is the more powerful (and much less human-like) of the twins; the strongest and most righteous activist for necessary change now that, sadly despite all good faith attempts at communication, non-violent solutions have failed. He truly has only the best and most altruistic intentions: the freedom of his people, and the happiness of his brother.
Here's the problem. This has always been the problem. Every one of the statements in the paragraph above is false. Except the one about Vash being pretty.
Once more with feeling: They are completely untrue. They are supported by literally nothing. All we have is his word that they're true and there's so much existing evidence to disprove his claims that even the thought of compiling it exhausts me.
However, I did say that Zazie is a truth-teller in this story, didn't I? So let's examine some of Zazie's conclusions.
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Now, I've seen reference to the surviving human communities on No Man's Land as "colonisers", and that their treatment of the Plants even before the Fall is analogous to slavery. (My strong suspicion is that Knives is purposefully invoking those comparisons, in fact.) Those are both extremely loaded analogies, culturally and emotionally, and I just want to gently, respectfully caution those who make them against overlooking the more nuanced and purposeful analogies being made. Or maybe should I say, the actual individuals to whom they apply.
Zazie is very careful to say this: Knives told them humans can't be trusted to learn from consuming their home planet. Knives was the one who said humans will have Zazie's planet next, and that only Knives will "use" the Plants correctly - so Zazie should ally with Knives.
Here's what Knives meant by "using the Plants correctly":
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I, uh, think Zazie may have made the wrong call on this one! And that Zazie thinks the same.
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This is what makes the interaction with Wolfwood so funny and sad - the all-knowing, ostensibly unkillable Zazie is freaking the hell out, staggering under the weight of realising just how apocalyptically badly they have fucked up. Wolfwood, who also directly instigated this disaster but under duress, is grimly amused - he did everything he did fulfilling the contract to protect the kids, even as his conviction failed, even though he would rather have died, even after Livio... and thus he personally rendered all his own efforts and sacrifices moot.
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And he's just like, "Heh, yeah. That tracks." This poor boy.
Afterwards, Zazie is confused and even a little saddened that Vash was demonised in the wake of July's destruction. Never let it be said the bug fails to learn from experience: Vash is the one everyone blames? Ah, so he was in fact spectacularly heroic and clever and it's entirely Knives's fault it turned out so badly.
Also, crashing on this specific planet wasn't exactly humanity's choice. Guess whose choice it was.
Go on, guess. Better yet, guess why.
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Yeah. It was also Knives who said to Zazie that both he and Vash crashed the ships... trying to stop us. From doing exactly what Knives tried to do the very instant he got the chance.
The thing is, Knives does everything he can to look like he's right by positioning himself as the most authoritative source, but he isn't ever backed up by like... facts. Or evidence. Or reality. Or anything. Ever. He crowned himself king of the Plants. He speaks and acts for them by divine right, apparently. He didn't take a vote or anything - in his mind it's self-evident only he understands the world, and Vash, and the correct way to use the Plants. Because remember that it's not using Plants he gives a damn about, even using them to death in the Last Run, as long it's him doing it. It's being dependent upon humans; he views providing for our basic survival needs as wasteful and inherently, exclusively parasitic, even if we're helping the Plants to survive in turn. Because it's humans that he's frightened of, and he wants the yucky things gone.
The thing is, when he's not being purposefully manipulative (though Vash is the only one he manipulates in person, probably because Vash is the only one he pays enough attention to for his tactics to be effective) he's being a dense fucking idiot. At very few points do his delusions intersect with reality.
The thing is, Knives is a known, proven, and entirely unrepentant liar. It's the logical extension of the way he gaslights Vash. He is in no way a trustworthy source of information.
All that he says is part of a heroic narrative about being the specialest boy evar that he came up with to avoid taking any blame or responsibility for the consequences of his actions. Knives considers himself perfect, but he's made plenty of mistakes, which I do think he would consider mistakes - among them Rem's death, alienating Vash, cutting off his arm and rendering him disabled, and what I suspect to be the large number of Plants killed in the Fall, along with the ones consumed by the Last Run in the desperation that followed.
So he tells himself... little stories. Inside his head. It's how he reconciles it. It's how he copes.
Basically, if you want to find any truth in anything Knives ever says, look closely at what he says, and believe the opposite.
Now, onto my girl and how completely fantastic she is.
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII
Part VIII
Part IX
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bakersimmer · 4 months
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One could immediately sense the cozy atmosphere by stepping inside Dr. Olivia Vella's office. The room was bathed in the gentle glow of a floor lamp, casting warm shadows on the walls adorned in pastel hues. It was a carefully crafted sanctuary for unraveling the intricacies of the mind. Dr. Vella herself was a reflection of the serenity of her office. Her presence radiated a genuine warmth that invited trust as if she were a guide ready to accompany others on their journey of self-discovery.
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Despite the comforting ambiance, Laila found herself on edge. The walls seemed like they were closing in on her. The floor lamp's warm glow was like a spotlight. The sofa felt like it was made of pins and needles. Laila thought with horror how these would be the longest 50 minutes of her life.
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Olivia: (sensing Laila's discomfort) It's okay to feel uncomfortable. You know, when I first sought therapy, I felt like the room was trying to swallow me. I kept fidgeting because it felt like the only way to keep me from sinking inside the chair. Laila: (gives Olivia a skeptical look) Olivia: Why don't you tell me what brings you here today?
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Laila: (guarded) I'm here only because my husband thinks I can't handle my problems. Olivia: I appreciate your honesty. It takes courage to come here, even if it's not by choice. Can you share a bit about what's been happening in your life? I'm here to listen, not to judge or push you into something you're not ready for. Laila: (crosses her arms) I don't need to spill my guts to a stranger. I've handled things just fine on my own. Olivia: I understand you might feel that way. We don't have to go to your deepest thoughts. Maybe we can start with something more surface-level, like what's been on your mind lately?
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Laila: (pauses, then reluctantly) My husband thinks I'm crazy and need fixing. But I'm not broken. I don't need him or some stranger poking around in my head. Olivia: (nods understandingly) It sounds like a lot of pain and frustration surrounds your relationship with your husband. Laila: (irritated) I'm frustrated because he's cheating and refuses to admit it! First, he started telling me how I needed help, then suddenly, he just packed up his things and left, like I had done something wrong. Now he refuses to talk to me unless I come here twice a week…
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Olivia: That's undoubtedly a challenging situation. Could you share when you first started having doubts about your husband's fidelity? Laila: It's been building up for a while. He's been staying late at work or finishing up work things until early morning and then sleeping on the couch. Also, he's always on his phone. He has liked his job since day one, but less than he does now. And I know how he works. So, saying he needs more time to finish things doesn't apply to him. Olivia: It must be incredibly distressing to witness these shifts. Have you tried expressing your worries to him directly? Laila: He claims he's just working, providing a better life for us... building his legacy... But I know him. He's slipping away, and I can't understand why.
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