#i'm just tired man

[thefrogdalorian]

Some days being autistic feels like you're playing a video game on the hardest possible difficulty settings, with no instructions and your health down to 1%, while everyone else gets to play in easy mode with directions (so they always know what to do next) and unlimited health cheats.

Sure, being late-diagnosed means you're aware that you're playing on hard mode. Now you know you will struggle and you can give yourself grace and accommodations.

But some days it all feels so unfair...

Why do I have to constantly struggle at things that seem to come so naturally to others?

#i'm just tired man #autism #actually autistic #just autism things #i don't even know if this makes any sense but i hope it does #i slept terribly and then had a driving lesson which i hated every second of because my spatial awareness is absolutely atrocious #life is just hard i don't know how i'm ever meant to not struggle and even WANT to do half the things that are expected of me #spud rants #:( din djarin not being real and therefore not being able to wrap me in his arms feels particularly cruel today

[maddies-chronicles]

every day i think "i have done it. i have gotten as desperate to shift as possible." and every day i am proven wrong

#i guess i also haven't been this upset in a while though. #shifting #reality shifting #shifting realities #shifting community #reality shift #shifting antis dni #shift #shifters #desired reality #vague vent tw #vent time #vent tw #mild vent tw #hale's shifting diary #i'm just tired man #i miss my dad #i miss having friends who aren't complete shitheads #irl friends this statement doesnt apply to my moots ily moots

[rimeiii]

I'm just gonna go ahead and say it despite my fear of getring backlash:

I am not a fan with how WHB handles the usage of Solomon's Tears.

(Rant post, feel free to skip over, rest under the cut. I just needed to get this out of my chest.)

Thank god they've made a statement about the availability of Tears, but in my opinion, their way of handling this is the equivalent of slapping a bandaid on a gaping wound - it fails to address the root of the issue that's making Tears such a necessary material in the first place, it being several aspects of the game design.

There have been several design choices that confuse me when it comes to WHB, which I would chalk up to WHB being PB's very first game that purely isn't otome. But these design choices often involve game balancing issues, which for me personally directly impacts my enjoyment of the game. And it is these design choices that immediately impact the need for Tears, and why the initial update changing the availability of these Tears sparked so much controversy.

But before that, I have some menial complaints that can be chalked up to me being spoiled by other games. First of all, the large amounts of filler stages, while normal for a gacha, still doesn't make it a fun experience to play through - especially when there are barely any changes to the stage layouts. The only reason why Plants vs Zombies were able to do this is because of the way their stages are set up:

Stages 1, 3, 6, and 8 introduce a new mechanic/zombie

Stages 2, 4, 7, and 9 are harder stages that test what you knew from the previous stage

Stage 5 is a minigame stage

Stage 10 is a conveyor belt boss stage

Every stage gives you a new plant, oftentimes one that is relevant to the new mechanic/zombie at play/about to be introduced (for example, Puff Shrooms upon ending 1-10, a 0 Sun plant with shorter range that helps in earlygame because the next world is nighttime, which means no Sun from the sky)

As for the other TD games in the market? Arknights has different maps for each story stage. So does Path to Nowhere, from what I recall. If there are filler stages, they're very few and far in between. It's why Granblue Fantasy changed their story chapters to no longer have a solo battle at each segment - it hinders the storytelling.

One of the most baffling things in my opinion is the fact that the game has the same upgrade requirements for all units regardless of rarity. This is such a weird design choice for me because in most games, lower rarities are cheaper when it comes to upgrade costs.

For comparison's sake, some screenshots I took for promoting S and A+ ranks.

Belial, an S-rank Marksman, requires 22k Gold, 22k Books, 10 Tears, and 22 Fire Jellybeans.

It's the same for the A+ Healer Morax, save for the elemental jelly beans which is changed to his element, Light. And this is the same amount needed for upgrading L characters as well.

This design choice isn't particularly good, in my opinion. It bottlenecks players and puts them in a mindset position of "upgrading anything apart from Ls and some choice S/A+ ranks is a resource sink". It makes people think that building anything except the strongest of units isn't worth it, which in turn renders the existence of lower rarity/weaker units moot, especially considering the scarcity of the Tears in the first place. Because why would you raise them if you're going to gain more of an advantage from building these high-rarity units? You're going to get a more immediate and significant power boost by upgrading Ls in the first place.

This is even more pronounced in WHB specifically because in most gachas, lower rarity units tend to require less to upgrade. Take a look at the E2 requirements of three Tactician Vanguards in Arknights, in which Elite upgrades are the closest approximation to promotion in WHB.

Beanstalk is the lowest rarity of the archetype at 4*, and her E2 material requirements consist of two types of tier 3 materials (Coagulating Gel and Manganese Ore, both with blue borders), Vanguard Chip Packs, and LMD.

Then you have the 5* Blacknight, whose material requirements now include a tier 4 material (Incandescent Alloy Block, with a pink border) in addition to a tier 3 material (Loxic Kohl), Vanguard Dualchips (crafted from Vanguard Chip Packs and Chip Catalysts, both of which are farmable regardless), and more LMD.

And finally, the 6* Vigil, whose material requirements are now a tier 5 material (Crystalline Electronic Unit, with a yellow border) and a tier 4 material (Optimized Device), more Vanguard Dualchips (4 to Blacknight's 3), and even more LMD.

Yet in other games, I don't mind raising lower rarity units - for several reasons, depending on the game. In Granblue Fantasy (despite my complaints about how quickly the meta evolves and how lim-centric it is), SR units serve as the stopgap for party comps until you can fill out your roster with SSR characters, and some of these SR characters still see use like Lyria. In other games like Fire Emblem Heroes, Memento Mori, and Princess Connect: ReDive, all units gain the potential to hit the highest rarity - I have a Yukari (originally a 1* unit) ready to hit 6* in PriConne, while I have a +9 merged 5* Fallen Takumi (farmable unit at 3*/4* base) in FEH. Arknights' case is more nuanced, where it's partly the same case as GBF, but also the fact that lower rarity units can fit into niches that high rarity units don't fill.

With these other games, I never feel like raising a lower rarity unit is a waste of resources. The costs of uncapping characters in general is negligible in GBF, except for the Eternals and the Evokers - those of which are reasonably time-gated because of their sheer meta impact and how strong they are compared to all other characters. Except for particularly egregious cases like Tsukinogi, every single Arknights Operator has their uses, and they often see use in Integrated Strategies.

And let's not get into the debacle that are skill levels, because of course you need more materials for that. I don't mind having high costs for optimizing skills - Masteries in Arknights works like that, after all. Pictured below is the cost of M3-ing Bagpipe's third skill.

That's right - a tier 5 (Bipolar Nanoflake) and tier 4 (Oriron Block) material. And luckily, you can farm for all of these skill upgrade materials outside of events, crafting the higher tiers as necessary. There is less opportunity cost for me to E2 my 4* and 5* units because I can just farm the materials again anyways - and even then I some Masteries on these units are amazing. S1M3 Myrtle (4*) is probably the best DP generator in the game, while S2M3 Lappland (5*) also helps with her skill uptime.

Then you go back to WHB's skill upgrades, which mind you is also the same cost between rarities, and guess what else you need?

Yep. Tears. A ludicrous amount of it, considering its availability. And let's not even get into the Tears required for the Unholy Board, if that matters to you (and it does, because it also gives buffs for your L units).

This skews the game balance towards the L units even more. Ideally you'd be raising skill levels once your units reach high levels, because everything is percentage based and the lower your base stats, the lower effect these skill levels have on your skills. But that just means you'll still need Tears because, well, you still need to promote. And remember the opportunity cost again, because all rarities have the same skill upgrade cost, further incentivizing you building Ls and ignoring everything else.

It's ridiculous.

And the added nail in the coffin: the reduced rewards that basically halved the amount of Tears you get.

I seriously, genuinely hope they take the availability of Solomon's Tears as well as game balancing into consideration when performing the next balance patch. Because otherwise, I can't see this game being an enjoyable experience for me moving forward.

Unless, this was the intended way the game was designed, in which I just...I have no more words to say.

#what in hell is bad #rimei rambles #rant post #cw rant #i'm just tired man #other games catching my eye #and i'm heavily considering dropping this game #i've been playing lovebrush and enjoying it #and reverse 1999 is coming in a few days #chapter 12 in ak too #i'll hold out until i see what they cook up on the 25th #but otherwise i'm afraid this might be goodbye

[drbatsponge]

So far Gotham War has done at least 4 things for the Bat-Family women outside of Selina and only one of them is good, that being Stephanie getting a new costume.

The rest is just awful.

Cass getting absolutely jobbed.

Stephanie getting called Spoiler again when she's Batgirl.

Barbara apparently ACTIVELY helping Bruce imprison Jason from what I know, though I could be wrong on that.

It's just not a good event for them, they deserve a whole ass event after this.

EDIT: Apparently I mistook Barbara for another character, but tbh she still has had jackshit to do in this event so idc, event still did absolutely nothing of value for her.

#fuck the Bat-Boys i'm tired #it's misogyny idc #COMING FROM CHIP AND HE HAS WRITTEN FEMALE CHARACTERS WELL IN THE PAST! #i'm just tired man #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #batgirl #batgirls #dc comics #gotham war #chip zdarsky

[crazykuroneko]

idk why some people are still fighting with tooth and nail over "theories" when season 1 isn't even half of the "whole truth" of the past.

Thee Whole Truth = (louis' account + claudia's account via diaries + lestat's account) - (untold lestat's account**** + editorializing of claudia's diaries + louis' perspective bias because he's not informed enough in the past* + whatever the heck is happening with louis' memories** that allows him to even put words into someone else's mouth***)

(*) mostly thanks to lestat's witholding information about the nature of vampires and their seemingly lack of communication

(**) might be affected by all kinds of influences, from guilt, repressed memories due to trauma, armand being armand, or maybe just maybe louis really wants to provoke "someone" there. tl;dr louis can be wrong and not lying at the same time

(**) see: episode 7 when claudia refusing to burn lestat. we don't have any idea how many times it happened during the retelling

(****) ofc when lestat telling his own account, there will be more negatives added to the equation there. he def has perspective bias since he came from a very different background than the other two. and we still don't know the purpose of him telling his story in the show yet

i mean, this show is made to theorize about. the writers are aware fans paying attention to the littlest details (confirmed by their answer to @immortal_daily). but theorizing, writing metas should be a fun activity. and on top of that, as i said above, in this point of the story in the show, we can not make an informed conclusion about a lot of things. which is why i keep saying season 2 is very important, not only to reveal what's true/false from s1, but it will also tell us how the series will go in the future: what are the vampire lores they'll use, how much they will take from the books, basically the overall tone of the whole series. so idk, keep an open mind maybe? and not attacking people just because they have different theories? and don't depend on other people's theories to make your own conclusion? 🤷‍♀️

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #fandom wank #basically #i'm just tired man #like chill puhlease #moi.txt #i'm such an infp i hate conflicts #esp when there's no solid base under it #and at this point no one has a solid base for their arguments really

[disgruntleddemon]

Me when ny autism isn't just a quirky fun scooby doo hyperfixation and i actually have a hard time reading people, understanding social cues, and interacting with others

#hyping myself to apologize about a text i think might be rude #but i can't gauge how seriously based on my relationship with the person #or if I'd just make things more awkward #delete later #I'm just tired man #i wish i knew how to respond to ppl

[silvexus]

I'm putting 'lesser evil' on the shelf, not because people are using it wrong, but because bad faith interpreters are using it to justify apathy because their brains shut off when they see the word 'evil.'

It's 'imperfect good' from now on, and I don't care if you don't like it. I don't care if you don't think it's appropriate or you don't think someone is trying hard enough to earn it. Sometimes good is hampered by old habits and thoughts or bureaucracy or fear or just plain ignorance. That doesn't make it evil, it just makes it waylaid.

You post memes about how we were made to help each other. Now start acting like you believe in it.

#vex talks about things no one cares about #this isn't about anything in particular #i'm just TIRED man #this post uses the general you - if that makes you anxious please take care #i'm not angry at you personally i'm just shaking my fist at clouds

[starryshinyskies]

me: i think i'm gonna look at my tumblr for you tab, nothing can go wrong there-

also me: *immediately sees untagged smut and takes 1d12 psychic damage*

#its like a jumpscare #how many times have i made a post like this T-T #i'm just tired man

[istoleludwigsbaumkuchen]

My body feels like it's falling apart and I can hardly take it anymore

(Vent in tags)

#vent #aparently the guy who thought it was fine to call me a cripple because he had to wear a boot cause he sprained his ankle #said i was faking being disabled #Like dude #I wish i was faking this shit #constantly being in pain and having times where i am literally unable to walk unaided is not silly and fun #I've got a near constant headache and fear heatstroke every single time i walk home because of the heat #They're sending me to 3 different specialists to see if it really is just because of my arfid or not #I'm just tired man #I'm being stretched too thin and i cant do anything about it

[patronsaint-ofthedenial]

They should invent people who are nice to me

#i think a random act of kindness would fix me #i'm just tired man #i'm tired of all these shallow assholes

[drbatsponge]

Idk if I should bother with people who pit Cass and Damian against one another.

It happens because of their similar backgrounds, I know.

But I feel like people who want Cass to get beaten by Damian are silly.

Cass isn't an obstacle to overcome for your fav.

Shit is basically the same with Shiva, for some reason people need to justify their fav by being like "SEE!? THEY BEAT THE BEST FIGHTER EVER!!!! THEY'RE SO COOL AND BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE!"

Like idc if they beat them once, that doesn't diminish the fact the other is far more skilled in my eyes.

Also it just feels weird to pit the two most prominent POC members of the Bat-Family against one another.

#sorry twitter shenanigans again #i'm just tired man #i have no energy to be mad #i'll refer to the Kelley Puckett quote or whatever #my most popular post on here now btw 😭 #cassandra cain #damian wayne #batfamily #dc comics

[zillysqueaks]

Remember:

- Not everyone is out to attack you

- Petty snark does not indicate superiority

- Meeting all encounters with hostility is not "trendy"

It's very weird and embarrassingly egotistical to treat every person you meet as a stepping stone in your attempt to collect "gotcha"s like little trophies. Learn to recognize sincerity, honest mistakes, and goodwill that's simply different from yours.

#like i get a huge part of it is emotional maturity #but I'm so tired of seeing posts where people are just honestly trying to help #and people act like this person is a Disney villain who came to specifically hurt them and kick their dog #when it's so incredibly clear that's not the case #I'm just tired man #some of y'all are so angry and full of hate #but low self esteem isn't an excuse to be a dick

[spaceshipkat]

the amount of praise for h0eab and h0sab, when they are arguably some of the worst books on the shelves in terms of dangerous, unchecked content with little mainstream challenge, is really worrying. i don't get why xyz book by xyz author, from debut to veteran, get so much attention while sj///m is able to just. skate on by and continue writing what she does. if the publishing industry is okay with her content despite the fact the industry proves time and time again that it's more than willing to challenge other authors (however merited that critique--and it is! but h0eab and h0sab are a case study in problematic content that needs a proper challenge from people who can actually make enough noise to check sj///m. antis aren't enough anymore), that's a serious fucking problem and i am so goddamned tired of the pervasive silence.

#anti sjm #anti ccity #anti hoeab #anti hosab #i'm tired of carrying this on my back #i'm tired of the anti community being the only ones willing to challenge her #i'm tired of the critique going unnoticed and/or ignored #when soap dick happened people were patting themselves on the back for saying 'the inclusion of sex is bad!' #AND THAT'S IT. NOTHING ELSE. #i think part of this exhaustion is why i've cut back so much from being engaged in the community #there's other reasons as well but that's definitely a big one #i'm just tired man

[thelikesoffinn]

So I'm sat on my bed sobbing because I can't get a knot out of my hair, so I think it's safe to say that I'm, in fact, not alright.

#mental health #adhd feels #anxiously #depression I guess #but hey #who's to say #bad day #i'm not ok #but its ok #its okay to not be okay #so excuse me while I sob #and brush my hair #i'm just tired man #how do they say? #do you ever get a little bit tired of life? like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die?

[t-lostinworlds]

we shouldn’t feel guilty for taking time for ourselves and doing things we enjoy. like why is it branded as “wasting your time” if you’re not actively doing something for your career or securing your future or when you’re not “working towards success” ?? can’t i just sit down and watch tv and do nothing without feeling like i’m “wasting” time??

#that's the grind culture isn't it #also with the current state of the world #what future are we working towards exactly??? #a bit sinister but where is that asteroid LMAO #i'm just tired man #both physically and mentally lol #adds lol at the end to not make it as bad as it seems salskalks #ramblings

[iwillfightgodandwin]

Reading "happy ending" fanfiction of fictional gay couples, because the queer nerds would never let me down like this.

#i'm just tired man #this is like the 12 couple I've seen split in the past year #I have little faith in humanity #i just don't get it #aroace #but still #I don't understand WHY #and yes #this post is about #the try guys