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#i'm probably gonna rework his story a lot
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sorry to spam you, but. what happens with scourge in your rewrite? he’s my favorite <3
Please, don't ever apologize for sending lots of asks! I love answering them and they can help me think of things I hadn't thought about before, or flesh an arc out. Send as many as you want, all of you!
Anyways, Scourge, the literal scourge of my brain, because I've had to rewrite him 3 different times.
This little guy has been reworked SO much. The first was to tell the story of a downfall, how sometimes people become worse than the people who hurt them, and pay for it, but showing that there was still 'Tiny' in there, having The Rise Of Scourge end with his spirit, now back to being Tiny, reuniting with Quince, while his older self faded away.
I... Hated the vibe. And I'm probably gonna save THAT kind of ending for someone else...
I then changed it to be somewhat more like Better Bones, but with Scourge remaining leader of Bloodclan.... But that also doesn't line up with the themes of Graystripe's Clan and Ravenpaw's Path, where Fury and Neo Bloodclan come into play.
I didn't wanna kill him. I didn't want him to join Thunderclan. I didn't want him to stay in Bloodclan....
Then, it hit me.
So... Meet the new Scourge. He can say the F word.
Scourge
His story is one about coming back from the brink of no return.
Firestar has noticed something about Scourge. The fur around his neck has rubbed off, his voice is brittle, swallowing is so difficult that he drools a bit, his breathing is shallow, and he's... Painfully underweight. Now, aside from the terrifying thought that is "how strong would this guy be if he WAS properly nourished?", he realizes that even if Scourge manages to make it through this battle, he will most likely not make it to next season.
In a flash, Firestar leaps onto Scourge's back, and sinks his teeth into his scruff and collar. Just like his new deputy Longtail did to him, he begins to pull, hoping and praying that Starclan will grant another miracle.
The collar snaps, just as Scourge is about to pass out, he takes in his first deep breath in ages. Firestar pays for it with his first life.
Swiftpaw, now posthumously named Swiftclaw, is chosen as his first life to lose. He feels the pain and terror and rage and desperation that Swiftclaw did, but he also puts pieces together. Why did this happen? The real why. Not just the dogs getting a taste for cat. Not Tigerstar's seemingly unending thirst for power. Before all that.
This problem is the fault of the Clans. Churning out radicalized youths who will hurt others because of the instilled belief that Might Makes Right. Sure, Scourge has taken things too far, and seems hellbent on revenge, but the seeds of this bloody battle were planted on Clan Land.
Blackfoot, Brokenstar, Leopardstar, Mistfang, Darkstripe, Longtail, even Crookedstar and Nightstar have all fallen victim to this belief at one point of another. Tigerstar was not made in a vacuum. This kind of "kill or be killed" mentality is not making the Clans strong, it is getting cats killed.
He sees another vision of himself fighting Scourge, killing him. But his sight flickers, and it makes him sick. Scourge's build is so much like Princess. His eyes the same shade of blue that Cloudtail has. He sees his own loved ones in the one he is fighting. He is sinking his teeth and claws into his own Kin.
And then, finally, he sees the vision of Tigerpaw being goaded by Thistleclaw to beat Tiny. Then Thistlepaw being rewarded by Adderfang for sparring with a Riverclan apprentice and tearing their ear. Adderfang charging into battle alongside his father, too eager to take a life from Heatherstar Heatherstep. Tigerclaw berating Darkpaw for failing a training exercise. Darkstripe getting his new apprentice Longpaw to eat prey instead of giving it to the sick elder... The vision ending with Longtail touching noses with the newly named Swiftpaw, a line of cats behind him so long it stretches into the shadows, endless kittens behind Swiftpaw, a mentorship doomed before it even began. Generations of cats hurting each other with no end in sight.
Enough is enough.
When he comes back to life, he slams against Scourge, dodging his attack again, and looking around to confirm his worst fears. All of Bloodclan's cats are fully grown. The Clans have brought apprentices. This victory is for the future, to Save The Clans as Fire Alone.
He slams Scourge against the ground, and knocks him out. However, Rooster, a Bloodclan cat, cries out that Scourge has been killed. To be fair to Rooster, Scourge is laying limp at the feet of Lionclan's leader.
While many Bloodclan cats scurry away, some to one day become Neo Bloodclan, Firestar taps the ground to call attention to Snowpaw, using a bit of Body Speaking to silently tell the deaf apprentice to sneak Scourge to camp, grabbing Scourge's torn collar and hiding it for later.
Bloodclan negotiations begin with the cats who stay and will later be seen in Graystripe's Clan.
Meanwhile, Snowpaw drags Scourge through the woods and sneaks him into Cinderpelt's den, scaring Cinderpelt half to death. She begins to treat Scourge, removing the enforced claw tips and gathering some food for him to eat without getting sick from the influx of sudden nutrition. Snowpaw is so friendly that he manages to become friends with Scourge while he is slowly recovering, hidden in the back of Cinderpelt's den and slowly putting on some weight as he eats with his friend while getting more comfortable with others. None of this would have happened if Snowkit had been taken by that hawk...
Eventually, he is healthy enough to groom himself properly and walk around. But... What now? Can he stay in Thunderclan? Would that be a safe option for him? Firestar is still teaching cats to unlearn their biases, and Scourge may be subject to suspicion and discrimination, which isn't fair to him.
Firestar talks with Princess, and the answer is clear.
His housefolk are not home now, haven't been in a week, but... Smudge is pretty lonely. Rusty left a bit of a hole there, he could use a good friend.
Scourge is brought to Smudge's home in the dark of the night, collar in his teeth, and welcomed inside. His collar tag reads 'Tiny' but with no phone number or microchip, Smudge's people take him in as their own, and Smudge isn't so lonely anymore.
Firestar left housecat life to be wild, proving himself with a broken collar, and Scourge is leaving wild life to be a housecat once more, saving himself with a broken collar.
He is seen during Firestar's Quest, slightly chubby and full of energy, and I might have him go on the Quest with them to round out the party. The important thing is, he is happy.
Princess's Short Story, currently unnamed, is about her passing, visiting her old friends and family as a spirit. She finds Scourge's spirit, along with Quince, Socks, and Smoke, enjoying a peaceful afterlife together.
He is allowed a place in Starclan and Sky-Starclan, and will reappear during Beyond The Stars as a supporting cast member.
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wolfjackle-creates · 1 year
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Ghost!Robin Part 4
Here's your next part of the Ghost!Robin fic for WIP Wednesday. I'm gonna start putting fic designation in the title field rather than WIP Wednesday because I think it makes it easier to read.
Also, everyone came out in numbers for last week's segment! Damn! Thank you and I'm glad so many of you are enjoying this little fic of mine. We'll probably get one more week of this before I go back to Bring Me Home, but it'll depend what I feel like. I want to rework some of what I have written next.
First, Previous
1.1k words + a 464 word Omake (cut scene)
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Tim asked more details on the specs of the PDA which Danny happily answered. The things he built with Tucker were always his favorite inventions.
“So are you in school to become an engineer or something?” asked Dick who’d gotten Damian calmed down and sitting. The boy had gotten his knife back and was spinning it in his hands. Bruce seemed to be fondly exacerbated by the scene. Robin had pulled out a ghostly weapon and was trying to copy Damian’s movements, though he wasn’t quite as adept.
Danny shook his head to Dick’s question. “Nah. Hard to get into engineering school when you fail high school.” Danny narrowed his eyes as Damian’s mouth opened, but Dick whispered in his ear again and the boy didn’t say anything.
“I ended up dropping out of high school and getting a GED,” said Tim. “It can work just as well.”
Robin was nodding along and pointing at himself, too. Had he died before he could complete his schooling, too?
“I’m sure. It’s just not a priority for me right now. I don’t need one for my job and I can’t become an astronaut because of my accident when I was fourteen.”
Dick was nodding, but Tim looked confused and asked, “Fourteen? I thought you had your accident when you were older?”
“Why would you think that?” Had he or Jazz made any reference to when his accident was? “No, it happened when I was fourteen. A few weeks before I started my freshman year of high school.
Before Tim could ask anything else, Steph called out from the other side of the room. “Did you say you wanted to be an astronaut? Totally awesome. What made you pick that?”
“I honestly don’t know why everyone doesn’t want to be astronauts! Space is so cool. We can learn so much about the universe by studying it in closer detail. And with how many aliens are now living at least part time on Earth, it only makes sense to explore and see what else might be out there.”
Bruce nodded at him. “I am sorry you aren’t able to become one.”
Danny just waved a hand in the air. “I came to terms with it a long time ago. And my current job is fine. Might not be what I would’ve chosen, but I’ve made it work for me.” Deciding he should change the subject before someone had the brilliant idea to ask more about his accident or job, he asked, “So what is for dinner, anyway? You’ve all talked about how amazing the food is, but what are we having?”
Someone tried to speak up, but Jason held up a hand. “I’m the one who helped Alfie cook. Demon-brat is vegetarian so we have a vegetarian curry. If you like meat, there’s a prime rib roast. Then a half dozen different sides—vegetables, rice, potatoes. Huge salad with all the fixings and a dozen different dressings to choose from. And dessert after.”
“Damn, that sounds amazing. I haven’t had a good home cooked meal in ages, so I’ve been looking forward to this.”
“Has your Grandpa been keeping you that busy?” asked Jazz.
“That, but also getting things in order to take this evening off. There’s just been a lot. I’m spending the night at yours, by the way.”
“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”
Danny knew he could rely on Jazz.
“Ooh, do you have any good stories about Jazz as a kid?” asked Jason.
Laughing, Danny said, “So many! But I don’t think we’ll be able to get to those tonight. I’ve a feeling you’ll be interested in other things by that point.” At his words, Robin grinned and pointed at himself. Danny gave him a slight nod to confirm that yes, they’d be talking about him.
Before Jason could ask for clarification, Alfred came in to announce dinner was ready.
Robin cheered and flew over to sit on Alfred’s shoulders, hand extended, to lead the way to the dinning room. Danny couldn’t hold back the chuckle and Jazz shot him a look which he ignored.
“There better be a place setting for you, Alfie!” called Jason as they followed.
“You made your opinion quite clear, Master Jason. And as I wish to meet your young lady and her brother as well, I have set myself a plate at the main table.”
Tim leaned over to whisper to Danny. “Alfred considers his role as butler very important. He rarely eats with the rest of us unless we join him in the kitchen.”
Danny nodded to show he understood, but had no idea how to actually reply to that. It seemed needlessly complicated.
Once they made it to the dining room, Danny grinned as Robin did a flip off of Alfred’s shoulders and landed sitting down on one of the place settings facing the associated chair. He bit his cheek to keep from laughing as Jason sat down at that same place. Jazz took a seat next to him and Danny sat to her other side. Dick ended up sitting next to him.
The scents of all the food wafting off the table made his mouth water and he closed his eyes just to breathe it in. “This smells amazing. Thanks Alfred. And Jason.”
Even Robin had moved to look over every dish, reaching out a hand to try and take something and sighing when he just phased through it.
Even Jazz looked a bit overwhelmed at the quantity of food. “This is so much effort. You didn’t have to do all this just for Danny and me.”
Bruce smiled at her. “It is so rare for all of us to be together for dinner so we make a spectacle of it any time it happens. And this is the first time Jason has ever brought anyone with him which makes it an even bigger event.”
Danny nudged her. “So, Jazz, what’s it like living with someone who can cook?”
Jason laughed. “Jazz isn’t allowed in the kitchen. You know, I caught her grabbing my chef’s knife before going into the fridge the other day!”
Danny furrowed his brow. “Of course she did. It’s a fridge.”
“Wait, is that a family trait? Why do you grab a knife to open the fridge? There’s gotta be a good story behind that.”
Before Danny could make the obvious statement regarding attacking food, Jazz elbowed him. “We’ll tell you later. It has to do with our parents and that’s a large topic and not one we should get into now.”
Before Danny could ask any questions about what the big deal was, Dick nudged him. “Which do you want—curry or beef?”
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Omake
Ignoring all of it, Danny shook his head and answered Dick. “Nah. Hard to get into college when you fail high school and are legally dead.”
Multiple people, including Jason, exclaimed at that statement and he looked to Jazz.
“Did Jazz not tell you about that? Our parents swear they saw my ghost and had me declared legally dead. I was missing at the time so the coroner agreed. Sighting the ghost of a missing person is all you need to confirm death in Amity.”
Under her breath, Jazz added, “You were only missing because they had you.”
Danny elbowed her and quietly chirped a Safe now.
Bruce was no longer smiling and was looking at Danny with narrowed eyes. “Your parents had you declared dead.”
“Yeah. It’s fine, though. I’ve an amazing doctor if I get into trouble. My grandfather is watching out for me. I’m financially stable. My partners are able to rent an apartment large enough for all three of us. I have other places to stay when I’m traveling. Honestly, it doesn’t impact my life all that much. Just means I’m not gonna go to college. And only reason I wanted to go to college was to be an astronaut, but my health makes that impossible.”
“Hn…” Bruce hummed.
And Danny had no idea what that meant, but Robin was now laughing, and Dick was exchanging grins with Tim, and Steph and Cass were whispering together. Damian was glaring at him even harder, blade hilt gripped in his hand. These people were strange.
Danny looked over at Jazz who shrugged. Jason was glaring at Bruce and said, “Don’t you dare.”
“Look, it’s really not a big deal. I know it’s kinda a messed up situation, but ghosts are generally treated really well in Amity. As well as any living human, at least. So long as you avoid the Guys in White and my parents that is. So outside of interactions with them, nothing has changed.”
“If you are ever in need of a place to stay or a meal or anything, you’ll have a room here,” offered Bruce.
Robin landed on Danny’s shoulders and was sending out happy-celebrate feelings. Steph handed Cass a few bills. Tim and Dick mimed giving each other fist bumps. Jason put his head in his hands and groaned. Duke was grinning at them all.
Damian half stood and said, “Father—!”
But Dick was at his side and pulling him back down to the couch with an arm around his shoulders, hand over his mouth, and whispering into his ear before he could do more than say the one word.
“Seriously, it’s not a big deal.” Trying to think of anyway to change the subject, he asked, “So what’s for dinner, anyway?”
And for the Tag List! (Which absolutely exploded this week. Holy shit.)
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The celebration post for 100 followers will be going out in another day or two! I've just had a really busy few weeks and didn't do as much writing as I was hoping for. But I hope to finish writing today and then I'll just take a few hours to edit.
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directdogman · 7 months
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Hello, oh great dog!
Since today is canon dsaf 3 endings day, i wanted to know if you already had important parts of the story/endings planned way ahead or not while making the series. (Such as stuff with Henry and everyone's backstories)
Sorry if I'm asking something you've already answered at some point.
I also wanted to say Happy Halloween and that i really love both of the incredible game series you've made!! :]
yeah! henry is name-dropped by Dave in one ending of DSaF 1 (he refers to himself as a 'helpful henry' when he helps jack get into a springlock suit) and the shit about Henry taking Dave's heart is foreshadowed briefly in DSaF 2 when dave refers to himself as 'heartless' in a conversation about Henry. Both could probably pass as lucky coincidences, if both usages weren't directly linked to springlock suits and henry specifically.
Basically, when I wrote DSaF 1's basic story, I did what I always do and kept coming up with ideas, which i wrote down. i adapted elements from FNaF 2, 3 and 4 (and later in DSaF 2 production, SL) into DSaF lore and basically wrote pages and pages of paper notes. It's why every expansion of the story felt really natural. Most of it was already in my head from very early on.
I didn't know then how many games I was gonna make and DSaF 3 was actually an amalgamation of 3 DSaF game drafts, hastily reworked to fit FNaF 6's tycoon context (most of the salvaging content was gonna revolve around Jack setting up Fazbear's Fright, originally) and a partial tycoon game set at Fredbear's, where the company makes Phone Guy, Jack and Dave all serve as managers with equal stakes, with a voting mechanic that allowed you to side with dave or phone guy (and gain leverage, which allowed you to get them on-side for certain decisions, like getting to expand the diner in a specific way, akin to the dsaf restaurant!)
the absolutely bonkers thing is that i never used up all of my material. there's references to fredbear's + SL stuff in DSaF 3 that was a lot more fleshed out on paper, a whole epilogue AU that's a parody of Underswap + It's a Wonderful Life that features Henry as the main character, and explores the question of whether Henry is capable of being better by showing him exploring a timeline where everything is jumbled, thanks to him never existing in it before his arrival. Also, it shows the end of his research into the origin of life.
I showed a few collaborators ideas from this weird AU (most notably Dave throwing Foxy into the grand canyon after a bomb is rigged inside him, saving a birthday party and prompting the company to promote him to manager, and a version of Legacy Jack that's based on a wolf (he was a cannibal before his death) and tries to get Henry to kill Dave for abandoning his nature.) Probably sounds really strange without context, but it's immensely detailed.
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theneighborhoodwatch · 8 months
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I've been thinking a lot about the houses, specifically how they might correlate with WH's theme of religion. The parts in the livestream trivia where Clown talked about the houses is really interesting, how Home is the only "alive" house but all the neighbors believe their houses are alive to some capacity. And the fact that the holidays are to celebrate their houses, where human holidays are usually to celebrate deities/religions.
The only thing on the website that still has this religious theme is the So Below page of Wally (possibly) worshipping Home. Perhaps Clown removed the cross cufflinks and Baphomet imagery so WH could be an allegory about religion instead of straight up about Christianity. The houses/Home could be metaphors for deities and the neighbors are their followers, even if their perception of religion and what it means is probably very different than humans'.
i was wondering why i had a hard time answering this message yesterday, and i think it's because i never really saw welcome home as a story about christianity or even religion as a whole, in either its current iteration or its earlier drafts. i think there is a very good chance that it's one aspect of welcome home, but... how do i say this.
when i see posts from clown talking about what he feels welcome home is about, i get the impression that at its core, welcome home is a story about alienation - from society, from one's environment, from one's peers, even from one's own self - and Specifically about alienation that comes as a result of changing (or at least desiring change) in an environment that upholds stagnation/the status quo/etc. as The Ideal. not Quite the same as but very similar to nostalgia poisoning, two peas in a pod. and i don't think it's a coincidence that this can be used as a criticism of the practices of Many christian denominations in the usa, a country in which christian hegemony is still very strongly felt in many aspects of daily life (let alone back when welcome home was airing in-universe or when its supposed creator, ronald dorelaine, was growing up.) i suspect that part of the reason the christian symbolism seems to have been reworked into something more subtle between welcome home's 2019/2020 concept and what we have now is because:
A.) it would have been rather on the nose, even hokey, to have the world of welcome home (the in-universe show) be a textually christian one when you don't really Need welcome home to be an explicitly religious production to demonstrate the idea that art is shaped by the culture/society in which it exists and/or its creator(s) hail from.
B.) it was originally less ... nuanced? idk if that's the word i'm looking for, but - i do not think it is a coincidence that wally's old cross cufflinks were a holdover from a time between the version of welcome home we are familiar with now and a draft in which wally seemed to be much more overtly, Aggressively antagonistic in his status as the center of attention, and was pitted against a much more straightforwardly heroic character who was on more equal footing with the rest of the neighbors. i Suspect that if any of what i just said comes into play, then perhaps the current iteration of welcome home is the way it is because it leaves room to acknowledge that even people who are hurt by this upholding of stagnation as the ideal willingly perpetuate it anyway, for a number of reasons.
BUT to get back to the actual ask: since we have no idea what's actually gonna happen in welcome home at this point in time, let's say that none of what i just talked about comes up even once and that the concept of The Home is really what we should be focusing on here wrt the religious symbolism, or at least that the two are not mutually exclusive. in this case, i think it's less that the houses themselves are metaphors for deities and more that, like - the importance of homes in the world the neighbors live in is so great that the only way it can be expressed in terms that a human could understand would be through the lens of religious/spiritual beliefs. i am intrigued by the idea that each neighbor has their own relationship to this belief though, and how that may effect their environment in the future. Much To Think About.
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agent-cupcake · 1 month
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what's your process on writing dialogue, and do you have any tips? i feel that no matter what i do, what i write is cringey and robotic.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, you're going to be your own harshest critic. People reading fanfiction are familiar with the characters, and their imagination can fill in a lot of what you might think are weak points. Also, practice is basically the biggest factor here, no amount of advice from a hack fraud like myself will matter if you're not out there on the grind.
BUT I'm an egomaniac and love talking about myself so here is my process and advice.
I watch/listen to their scenes a million times and pay attention to intonation, physical movements, vocal quirks or way of speaking. Emet-Selch, for example, uses archaic English words and is very formal VS OPLA Buggy who is a snappy, crass boy.
I write the scene so I know what their dialogue has to convey and get a general idea of mood and tone. Sometimes I do dialogue only, sometimes I just skip dialogue and leave a note about what they need to say. The point is that I've got material to work with.
Reread the bullshit I have just spewed out onto the document and have a minor breakdown about how terrible of a writer I am.
Remind myself that I am God and everything I type is gold.
Work and rework the lines while referencing canon material, reading them out loud (which helps to check the cringe factor too), and making sure the conversation and dialogue work together to have the scene do what I need it to do. I am garbage at technical editing but almost every piece of dialogue in my stories has probably seen at least some revision to fit it to the scene and character. The most important thing for me, ultimately, is that I can imagine exactly how the character would deliver the line. I've mentioned it before and I will again that getting Buggy's "voice" right was hard for me.
As for advice, tagging dialogue is your friend. In my opinion, it is the best way to make the dialogue flow more naturally. People very rarely speak in unbroken monologues. They're gonna be gesturing and moving and pulling faces and all that sort of stuff. You'd be surprised how much of a difference adding something as simple as a 'he said' can make when it comes to the way the dialogue is read. Words aren't entirely static, there's power in creating visual space between things on the page itself.
Since you're asking me specifically I'll use an example from my own writing for what I mean. I think there's a valuable difference between-
“Hey. What’s with the attitude?” Buggy asked.
and
“Hey,” Buggy said irritably, reaching out to tug on one of your twintails to force you towards him. You yelped, grabbing his hand. “What’s with the attitude?”
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sonicchaoscontrol · 1 year
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So, has any part of the plot changed from the first time you wrote the story? Has the plot changed from your long hiatus to now?
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[Short answer? Yes. Long answer? Oh my good lord, yes. Long post, so this one's getting a readmore and no bold text. Why DID that start, anyway? I think it's just more legible on the web theme. Anyhow--]
I don't have any of the papers it was conceptualized on anymore because I was probably in fourth grade or so, but believe me when I say the idea for this story is pretty old. There's not a lot I can divulge this early in because I don't want to spoil all the fun, but what I can do is give you some bullet points from the EARLIEST rendition that are No Longer Applicable in any format:
-Knuckles was the big bad. Yes, really. This is no longer the case. Who is it now? We'll find out together, won't we! -I had offed much of the main cast for... reasons?? Mostly just angst. Glad we did away with that. Mostly because one of those was Sonic. Lmao. -The whole thing was riddled with fan characters as the main heroes. While I love FCs dearly, they are not the focus of the story anymore, even though this AU is canon-adjacent. -The main setting took place in a city that had been submerged in water, with a sprawling ice-cave complex surrounding it. This idea has been reworked and recycled. More on that later!
The character designs have been changed SO much over the years, and one of them in particular got his design updates through an RP blog I used to run! If you know it from the Olden Times, no, no you don't, but it's taking all of my self control to not get back into the scene so I'm gonna need either a good or a bad influence here.
But TLDR nowadays the plot is actually mostly FINISHED, as opposed to 'let's just go page by page and see what happens'. A lot of that is thanks to my cool-as-ice editor and partner in crime, @skeblinn!! Lots of late nights hashing out the minutiae.
Thanks for giving me the chance to chat a bit about the process! I'll see if I can't dig out some old concepts as we get a bit further in :]
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fereldanwench · 5 months
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so since i had the tower ending available to me, i figured i'd run through it
disorganized, spoilery thoughts under the cut
so a few world-state items of note:
valerie had no romance (ofc)
valerie did the parade and saved goro (ofc)
valerie never met kerry
valerie didn't help judy with the clouds stuff so judy was also not a friend to call
valerie did have panam and river available as friends
valerie and johnny were very much not friends
i had only seen the ending with a friendship johnny, so getting to experience the rival dialogue was actually really cool. i did record the whole thing so i'll probably upload some clips from that and muse on it properly, but yeah, i love it when valerie and johnny fight. i loved being able to have her call him a narcissist 10/10. and i like that i could play her as still somewhat sympathetic to his situation
i love 2079 reed. his tie and office bod are precious <333
since valerie had no romance, i did get to hear goro during her in-and-out-of-consciousness scenes, which i absolutely loved
i knew about river and panam's phone calls/msgs and neither one of them are actually that close to valerie so the emotional impact there for me was minimal
much like with the devil ending, though, i wish goro was at least listed in her phone, even if it went to a disconnected number in 2079. valerie did tell him she was going to go with hanako prior to this, so having some kind of 'hey, are we doing this thing' msgs from him in 2077 would have been cool.
and like there seems to be some recognition from the devs that players who didn't get attached to any of the romances or had any other friends likely had some degree of fondness towards goro--hence using his voice in the coma. so once again, it just feels like there's missing content from him, basically. not even asking for romantic stuff here either--just more platonic interactions would have been very much appreciated!!!!
vik's situation depresses the hell out of me, even moreso than v's, although i did love getting to spend more time with him and see a different side to him just for characterization purposes. i loved the employee eval on his computer that said he talks to patients too much, because MUSE FUEL MUSE FUEL MUSE FUEL
(i'm actually in the process of working on some story sets for the events that happen directly after the heist, and vik gossiping to goro has been on my mind since the 'vik likes to talk' line v can deliver so this just compounded that)
connecting with misty briefly does kind of heal the soul a little at least
seeing valerie un-chromed and with a shaved head was pretty jarring, although not as much as seeing her in those clothes lmao. like wtf did the fia do with the clothes she arrived in??? even if she wasn't in top form, she would still make an effort to look somewhat nice going to see an old friend but i mean, i get it, at this point my vision of valerie is so beyond the possibilities of the game's potential characterizations for v
i also have a glitch in my game in which she's constantly holding a pistol during some cutscenes lmao so uh having randos try to beat her up while she's visibly armed was odd
the devil ending is still valerie's canon so this was just a curiosity playthrough, but i am somewhat intrigued by the possibility of another AU/alternate timeline for her and goro playing off these events.
the obvious scenario would be valerie becoming a fixer and goro becoming her bodyguard after they work out their shit since goro is clearly unhappy in 2079 lmao, but this ending plays on the convenient-lack-of-communication tropes that i fucking hate in stories (like really, the FIA couldn't find a way to get in touch with v's friends and let them know what's going on? i don't buy it) so it'd require a lot of rework for me.
and i really can't see valerie willingly going with the FIA, particularly after she told goro she was gonna go with arasaka, so i think a lot of that would have to change too
but idk, it's not a priority. i like having the AU stuff to tinker with when i need a break from their canon, which i currently do not. maybe it'll be like the nomad AU and suddenly hit me out of nowhere :3
but yeah im glad i experienced it for myself since there can be so many little personalized variations, but i also feel kinda out of sorts because it just felt really OOC for valerie and there were some major downers there, lmao. i feel like i need a bit of a palette cleanser
OH and i liked rogue taking nibbles, that was a pleasant surprise
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pastelalleycat · 1 year
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Here are some random things I noticed in Welcome Home that I haven't seen addressed. There's theorizing in here, so I'm gonna put a cut here for Clown just in case theyneed it ! :)
In the "duet" audio, when Wally Darling sings "Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee", the word "thee" is pitched up an octave.
It could be Wally being manipulated to continue to sing by Home. It could be an audio glitch. Or it could be an entirely intentional detail, as the word "thee" in modern english means You.
Wally responds to people in the guestbook who ask about the other neighbors by either saying "oh they're great!" or "I can't reach them, sorry". There's a dissonance between some of his doodle responses in general, as if his memory is being wiped, or someone else is speaking through him.
Like this: ::)
Home being the best guess, as when a guest asks him if he's evil, he responds with a smiley face with a pair of red eyes over blue eyes.
Some of the artworks in the gallery have a small signature consisting of three or four hearts intertwining. Wally uses this same heart pattern once or twice in the guestbook.
Wally draws himself elsewhere in the guestbook with blue eyes and Home's signature-thingy has a smiley face with red eyes.
EDIT: Took a closer look at the smiley face and the blue dots look like teardrops. The Home manipulation theory could still be true though.
Poppy is stated in her bio to rarely leave her home, due to her size making it hard to interact with the other puppets. Her little GIF-thingy has a picture of her with wide, frightened-looking eyes... perhaps she stays in her home for more than one reason.
In the advertisement for the paper dolls, record, and playsets, there's a little letter next to each product that corresponds to their description below. The "B" letter appears twice, both on the record and on the Wally puppet holding it, despite the description only describing the record.
There may be a reason merchandise disappeared for this show. It was said to be widely popular, and if families bought the entire playset and other toys and books, they could have been literally sucked into the world of Welcome Home. I have no idea how this sort of thing would work-- supernatural forces, perhaps, though probably nothing Satanic, since Clown didn't warn for that sort of imagery in Welcome Home's warning page. The art on the warning page is dated, and Clown has said he's reworked the story a lot since then.
Why is Sally Starlet's head too heavy to be operated by a single person? Is there something inside it, or does it have a transformation mechanism that changes her look from day to night, like the Daycare Attendant from FNAF security Breach?
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basicallyjaywalker · 5 months
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For the ask game >:3 ✂️❤️
🎨 I know you have OC’s but I know embarrassingly little for being a mutual this long. Hand them over rook :)
Edit: I forgot to say hi 😭 sorry I saw you mentioned OCs and literally just. mind blank got the zoomies started stimming forgot my manners. Anyways
Hello Oli :DDD
One thing I would change: I mean. I would rewrite a lot of the series but mainly I would wanna give Nya a more prominent and starring role early on. Let her have more Samurai X moments and quit putting her on the sidelines while the boys do things!!
Favorite ship? Canonically Pixane ngl. I love Jaya but Pixane is soulmate coded for me I break Jaya up at the drop of a hat for funsies I feel bad breaking up Pixane.
Do I have OCs? You're goddamn right I do I have wayyyyyy too many. I'm working on character sheets for the main ones now but until those are uploaded have a taste!
Nataly Chumsworth: Master of Love, half Serpentine, menace to society. If the name did not clue you in she's Pythor's daughter and they have. A relationship.
Roxie Andrews: Master of Peace, local stressed out mom friend, former student at Marty Oppenheimer's! Old friend of Cole's and someone i imagine Nya being besties with.
Jasmine Bucket/Julien: Master of Nature (secondary: Ice), engineer at Borg Industries, made before Bolobo I swear. Zane's half sister but neither has any clue about that yet
Jackie Fei: Master of Magic (I have a whole system set up for this), chronically tired and depressed but gets to have a glow-up, chaotic good incarnate. My favoritest little blorbo ngl
Hannah Stone: Master of Music (different from sound and again swear she was pre-S4), punk rock girl, Chen's former... student is not the right term. Embodiment of that one audio: "they got their weapon, I got cheated out of my childhood)
Kyle Stone: not an elemental master but a former member of Chen's cult kinda (born into it), instead of masking his trauma with anger like Hannah he masks it with bubbliness, chronic overprotective disease. He and Hannah aren't blood related but they're also the closest thing to family each other has
Master Twyla: Master of Light, the teacher of these fucking kids, trying her best to keep the memory of the former EMs alive. Bops her on the head this bad girl can fit soooooo much trauma she's trying to overcome in her, goddamn
Ivy Crest: Master of Wind except not fully until S5 (thanks Morro), Morro's bio daughter and Ronin's adopted daughter (bet you can't guess who she prefers), expert in forgery and shit at mechanics. She and Nya form a close bond in S5 and Nya continues to try and teach her mechanical stuff (it does not work)
Luna McCallister/Garmadon: Master of Dreams, long lost Garmadon daughter who?, big fucking nerd. I have no idea when she and Lloyd realize their related but it makes their interactions at the comic store beforehand a lot funnier (for reference: she is about 2 years older than him)
Jonathan Borg: heir to Borg Industries, curious about the supernatural elements of Ninjago, knows about something he probably shouldn't. His place is not fully figured out yet but I feel like he's gonna start wanting to prove more useful after S7 to mixed results, esp bc his sister is way cooler than him
Willow Whispernight: yeah check back later chief I am reworking her ENTIRE lore lmao. Currently also connected with nature in some way and Jasmine's step-sister
Ahahaha that isn't even all of them. it's been over a decade I am soooo normal. I do not have *checks notes* approximately 20 OCs, named and unnamed, with various places in stories and development
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allineedisonedream · 8 months
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Hi!! So I saw(and loved) your tangled AU and it got me thinking about how tangled and Frozen are part of the same universe… HEAR ME OUT PLS
I don’t know how familiar you are with Joyfire, or jayroy? But I was think of an au where Jason runs away from Bruce and Alfred for some reason? Maybe he was looking for his real mum like In canon? And stumbles into Kori, who freaks out and injures him with her “powers” (lasers I guess but it could be adapted for the sake of the au) and he recovers, but looses his memory of Bruce and Alfred and his brother, so Kori’s parents adopt him as well. Of course he now has the White hair streak from the injury because. Yeah.
And it would probably be open for interpretation on whether Kori and Jay would be together…
But I’m picturing similar events where the parents die, kori becomes queen and runs away, and Jason goes out to looks for her, when he discovers Roy, (after the events of the tangled au) whose trying to find his childhood friend (Jay) because when he and dick and Wally returned dick home, dick found out about Jason being missing( I don’t know how old you headcanoned dick to be when he was taken but for the sake of me let’s say about 10) and wanted to find him so Roy went looking.
But as we all know, Jason changes a lot in those years away from home, and Roy doesn’t recognise him? So they team up to find Kori and Jay(who is really there all along but… maybe Roy only ever calls him Jaybird? And Jason has been going by Robin or Hood since he lost his memory so neither make the connection
And then I think Jason would slowly get more and more confused? Because sometimes Roy will mention something and He’ll recognise the scenario but have no idea why
That’s as far as I’ve gotten, might draw something for it later if you don’t mind? And I hope you don’t mind the hijacking I was just in love with your idea
(This was not proofread so pls excuse anything that I missed)
Aww, that's a really cute idea. I've kinda thought about this too, like giving every family member a side story that's just another fairytale.
But then I saw the Tangled series and was kinda inspired. I would have probably given Jason Cassandra's storyline, and Tim would follow Varian's story a little bit, but then I lost motivation and never finished it.
Now that I'm reworking the story, I'm kinda not sure if I have the patience to give everyone a side story, I'm probably just mostly gonna finish/redraw my old sketches and concentrate on Roy, Wally, and Dick.
And I totally wouldn’t mind you drawing something for it. I would love to see it^^
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Pixar's ELIO, directed by COCO co-director Adrian Molina, would've opened today... Albeit a much different version of the movie.
The delay from this date to June 2025 meant that the fast food promo deals put in place a while ago couldn't be changed, thus - HOODWINKED TOO style - some of the toys are out now, as seen in the pic above...
Yep, I've heard by now what ELIO has supposedly been going through.
It's a unique Pixar production in that it was delayed by about a year and a half...
... AFTER a teaser trailer and poster for the film were released, following a big info drop on the movie at the fall 2022 D23 Expo...
Not even THE GOOD DINOSAUR, an infamously troubled Pixar production, went through that. That film was delayed before anyone outside of D23 attendees saw any footage from the scrapped version of the film, though renders of the older bigger Arlo and the bipedal version of Spot did leak.
All of this agita for ELIO...
... and I feel fine! Yeah, I'm not really worried about this movie.
It's easy to equate "troubled production" with "oncoming disaster", something that's absolutely gonna fail, an abomination from the get-go.
Yet, TOY STORY 2 and RATATOUILLE exist. Other Pixar films, and plenty of other animated movies, go through some form of hell before the ship is steered away from the cyclone. Sometimes within a year or so from release. The end results are always subjective anyways.
So, I have no idea how ELIO will turn out. If it's a movie *I* myself like, if it's a movie that resonates with the public, yadda yadda yadda.
ELIO, however, does not seem like a GOOD DINOSAUR situation to me. GOOD DINOSAUR not only lost its director (Bob Peterson), but the whole movie was thrown out and the replacement director (Peter Sohn) started over from scratch with a few core elements retained. ELIO seems like it's going to be half the movie we saw in the teaser this past summer, and a lot of new stuff. Sections being reworked, rather than the whole movie being thrown out and Molina & co. starting over. Voice work to be done, especially post-strikes, and they'll need time to animate all the new stuff. Pete Docter isn't the leader John Lasseter was, Lasseter likely would've canned Molina and had another director reimagine the concept/story to his liking.
I think it's cool, if this is all true, that Docter is giving Molina and the filmmakers more time to rework the film. Especially after the marketing campaign has kicked in. With that, it probably should stay in June 2025. I had thought for a bit that it could move up a bit and take MOANA 2's place, because that Thanksgiving release sounds like it's going to be a crunch production, what with Auli'i Cravalho and The Rock signing on *just recently* to reprise their roles nine months before release. I'd delay that to spring 2025, honestly. Disney can afford to miss the Thanksgiving slot this year, they'll be fine. INSIDE OUT 2 and CG LION KING prequel can be their sole animation releases this year, even if the latter won't be billed as such.
As for its box office prospects? Big budget sci-fi animated features, even in a not-COVID world, struggle. Especially space-setting sci-fi animation. TITAN A.E. and TREASURE PLANET, anyone? Only something very low-budget would cut it, but we're talking $200m Pixar movies, not that microbudget CLONE WARS movie. (STAR WARS isn't sci-fi to me, but you get my drift, right?)
Pixar, however, *did* score a box office hit with WALL-E all the way back in 2008. Despite the spacebound adventure and the future Earth setting, the marketing wisely focused on the cute robots in love. That got folks to see it back then, methinks. ELIO will need a similar hook, and it's a summer release as well, so it could be primed for a blockbuster run.
However, most non-sequel animated features play a different game now, in a post-COVID outbreak world: Open tiny, have ludicrous legs. That's fine if your feature cost $90m and you made around $250m at the worldwide box office, but like ELEMENTAL before it, ELIO's probably going to need to make around $500m worldwide to break even in the eyes of the money people - who seem to keep forgetting that animated movies have fantastic longevity beyond their theatrical release. ELEMENTAL had the fun premise and the love story working in its favor after its blah opening weekend (though it was pretty high for a post-outbreak animated opening), ELIO... I don't know what it has at the moment. Will the "kid becomes Earth's ambassador within a massive council of aliens" really get audiences to come flockin' in summer 2025? I do not know, but I hope it does good, for Molina's sake, and so we can be spared the five gazillion "is Pixar circling the drain???" articles...
All I know is, I'm looking forward to it. Space adventure and colorful aliens and stuff, by way of Pixar and their resources.
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lumilasi · 5 months
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Time for a yearly art summary
I'm still likely going to draw a couple of things, but figured I'd do this before the year ends so I won't forget lol
I was surprised to find there were still couple of pieces of fanart I'd made this year, I thought I'd completely moved away from it by now? Guess not lol
This year was also kind of....character ref update heavy, which made finding stuff for this difficult as a lot what I saw that wasn't a ref was reblogged art from previous year :T I'm really gonna try and NOT make so many refs next year, it was kinda ridiculous lol
About each piece chosen below:
January: One of the few fanart pieces I had made this year. Tomura for the year of the bunny.
February: Apparently the only new piece I'd made that month? A traditional shigadabi doodle
March: My birthday month, also the birth of one of my main character's new, modern look and story. Jurou got his tattoos and longer hair here.
April: Speaking of design updates, Ichirou's new modern look was born here as well, or at least this particular ref image was lol
May: Mermay piece with my sea serpent boy Caelan. Probably one of my favorite pieces of all time I've made so far!
June: Pride month thing I did with Henrik and Clover, which also actually utilized an old sketch of an older piece with these two that I still loved.
July: Surprise return of Tomura. Another old art remake if I recall right?
August: Just a simple piece of Avane and Roman. These two started out as my less-liked characters I had, but after the story update and design updates for both, they've become among my favorite couples/characters.
September: I was already heading for the spooky times even before the spooky month I see. Angus with a hypotethical look relevant to his story. This piece was unique where I just used the sketch and did not do lineart, essentially it is kind of a messy style digital painting. LOVE this one even now, another one of my personal favorites.
October: The first prompt for my (somewhat failed) Spooktober art challenge. While I didn't make as much art I'd hoped, I very much love this piece with Avane, also a favorite, probably second after the previous Angus one.
November: Yet another piece utilizing an older work that I just reworked using the characters' new designs. (I loved the old one still, I'd just recently redesigned both characters somewhat so I felt the need to rework it)
December: I wanted to use one of the prompt pieces from the art challenge I am doing, but...they were simply difficult to fit into this vertical-style summary, so I ended up picking Jurou's more demonic form I finally upgraded this month after, well, months. I feel its kind of fitting for me to end the year in a spooky note lol
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the-missann · 1 year
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~Writeblr Introduction~
So, I'm not good at introductions. However, I've done this before, so maybe it'll be easier now.
Hi, I'm an aspiring writer who wants nothing more than the world to have a favorite character who actually looks like them. Being an introvert; I usually write stories about loneliness, isolation, anxiety and longing. My usual genres are YA, Romance, Fantasy, Supernatural, Adventure, and recently I'm getting into Comedy, Sci-fi, and Satire.
I try and make my stories very inclusive. I showcase my characters in a way where they're not liked for their ethnicity, but you like them and they just so happen to be a POC.
I'm also teaching myself to draw.
I wouldn't say I have WIPs when most my stories have more the 30k+ words, but I'll tell you all about a few I'm working on.
A little BG before that, just so there's no confusion. I have a very big universe I've built where I follow my one MC, Cassie, through several different reincarnation stories.
The Demonic Repentance
Genre: YA, Romance, & Supernatural
Akuma is a Demon tasked with fixing Hell after the ruler ruins it with his selfish desires. Having no other choice, he goes outside of Hell in order to find a solution. Instead of a solution he finds an Angel.
This is probably the most edited and actually finished stories of mine.
A Collection of Short Stories: Quiet Girl
Genre: Comedy
When it comes to talking, Cassie finds it to be too much work and opts to think instead. Plus, with ten guys who never leave her alone, it is just a bit better to stay quiet and leave a good impression.
Cassie ventures through her twenties as she tries to live through adulthood while also trying to keep her heart beating every time she sees someone she likes.
This is a Harem story that's more crude than it is overtly sexual. Just adult jokes more than anything.
The Makings of a Love Story
Genre: YA & Romance
After dealing with her first break up, Cassie struggles to return to herself, leaving herself open to yet another relationship much too soon. However, this new relationship isn't anything like her pervious one and has the chance to be better for her, if she learns from the past.
I'm currently having writer's block with this one.
Kingdom of Bumalia
Genre: Fantasy & Romance
The turbulent history of a long lost kingdom. The True Blood within the family is untouched by Lower Blood, until one prince is born. He wants nothing more than his kingdom to prosper and takes a risk unlike his ancestors.
I'm reworking this, so I technically finished this years ago, but it's horribly written by my standards now, lol.
A Fourth Dimension Reality
Genre: YA, Comedy, Satire, & Sci-fi
What happens when you live somewhere you don't belong? Those feelings of being alone and thinking you're the odd one out are over with when you realize you do belong on Earth.
However, Larson and Cassie don't. Being from another dimension is the tie that keeps them together while navigating the strange reality they were stuck in.
This is by far my favorite story, I've written close to 100k words and I'm not sure when I'm gonna actually end it.
I have lots of other stories that are nearly done, but I dislike writing endings because 1. I suck at them and 2. That would mean ending my story and that's such a hard pill to swallow.
That's it from me, I'd love to hear from any of you. I'm pretty easy going and accept almost everyone. So don't be like me and be shy, interact and maybe we could be friends!
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afterhoursgame · 2 years
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A Serious Discussion
Hello everyone! Hope that we're all doing well. :)
I wanted to pop in to have a talk with everyone about After Hours and some changes I'll be making going forwards. I'll pop this under a cut because I tend to ramble and imagine this will be getting long.
Let me preface by saying that After Hours isn't going anywhere! This is one of my stories and I want to see it come to life! But with that said...
I'm probably going to be making some pretty big changes to the way that this story will be.
The first of which is the MC. When I started writing out and planning to make After Hours an IF, I changed a lot. Before it was going to be an IF, it was going to be a much more linear story and the MC would be pretty set in a personality but would have choices that would fit the situation or allow them to make small changes.
For example, say they're going to a store for the first time. I would probably write MC to be overwhelmed, but then give the player the option to pick if they're also in awe, completely in shock, or panicking. Something like that.
As it is right NOW, I would write each of those as a completely separate thing. Is your MC overwhelmed? Are they in awe? Are they scared?
Not, your MC is overwhelmed, is it a positive, wow this is cool, but also kinda daunting because I've never seen anything like this? Or more of a, I've never seen anything like this, there's a lot going on, what do I do, help?
Me personally? I prefer the second. And I think it would be a lot easier for me, and my brain to be able to write it in that way!
Basically, I'm being far too broad for my brain to handle.
Writing a different option for each and every emotion, for ME as the person who is creating the story, is really hard to find a flow that allows me to really into the groove of things. As it stands, I write maybe a scene or two, and then I'm not sure where else to go, because I'm focusing on trying to make things that I already had a route for, fit this new emotion.
So I say all of this to say: I'm going to be changing the MC to have a set personality, but allow for the player to be able to make choices that I feel will still make sense, as far as their emotions and reactions to things.
The second big change is coming to one of my lovely characters!
Bishop.
As his romance is right now, you can wind up in a fair relationship where he basically drops everything and changes for MC to make it work, in the simplest possible way to explain it.
Which yea, that's fine, but... it's not how I wanted things to go.
So, as much as I think this might upset some people, it's going back to the way it was going to be originally.
What does this mean?
It means that when you meet him, he's in love with someone. You, as the MC are someone new. He's not dropping everything that has been his normal in 2 seconds for MC. He'll work through things, he'll heal, but that doesn't mean voila, now it's you two together forever.
It's a romance that's gonna have hurt feelings. Yours, his, and others. It's probably the slowest possible burn you can imagine. Because while he may not be in a relationship, canonically, he is in love, and in love with someone who doesn't love him back at that. There's a lot of struggle in that. There's a struggle in finding a way to lose that love he had, and try to grow new love for someone else.
It's not gonna happen overnight. And I can't say that by the end of the story, MC will be in a relationship with him. But I can say that I think the journey with him is one that will be unique, and hopefully for those that go down his romance path, worth it.
For the last major change.
I'll be reworking certain parts of the story! I say this all the time, I'm sure you guys noticed how often I was rewriting and reworking the prologue!
But of course, if there are changes to the literal main character, there's gonna be changes to the story right? The prologue is going to stay up as it is for now, but it'll be getting a revamp, which I hope everyone is going to love.
Most of the rest, no one has seen yet, so no worries there.
And that's all the changes!
I made this giant post to say this:
I love interactive fiction. It's been a staple in my life since I was an early teen.
And I want my interactive fiction, my story to be a good one. I made these changes when I started because I wanted to make a good story for everyone else, and lost sight that I wasn't making it a good story for myself as well. I want to make a story that's good for both.
I hope that even with the changes, you still give After Hours a chance.
Cause while I may be biased, I think it's going to be even better than you've seen.
-Des
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romana-after-dark · 1 month
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Heyo, it's the anon from earlier who read the main TWW story last night. I just read Going Under and it was great!
The ending was really nice despite joel not facing any real consequences. Didnt really feel like a darker ending, but I get it.
I usually stop reading stories once pregnancy comes up, but this was so good that I had to keep reading. I had to know what mc would do with her circumstances (I lowkey thought she was gonna kill joel at some point)
I love mc's confession to maria about the manipulation and I love that mc now controls the whole town!
In this timeline, Tommy brings up alot of... conflicting feelings for me.
(SPOILERS BELOW)
Now personally..... I don't think I'd ever forgive tommy for getting with june and falling under Joel's orders again... but that's just cos I was rooting for tommy to end up with little one the whole time in the main canon story 😬
I'm glad she called him out on his bs though. Maria and little one deserved better.
But I also really liked Tommy's little speech to ellie.
(When I was talking about confrontation between tommy, joel, and little one in my previous mssg, I meant the one where tommy was forced to leave for a bit. Not the one from this timeline. Just in case there was any confusion...)
BUT MY BOY LORENZO?! AND ZACK?! OUCH 😭 Unforgivable imo.
Also, I just saw that the anniversary for this fic is coming up! And you're re-writing it! That's great! I'll be seated.
Idk if I'll read Ellie's story in the canon timeline, but you'll probably see another one of these long ass messages if I do.
Lmk if these mssgs are too much. It's all just my thoughts at 2am. I can stop or shorten them.
Side note: I just realized just how many of your stories I've been keeping up with accross your accounts. Love your work 👍🏼 I hope you have a peaceful break.
Hello!!!!!
First of all, they are absolutely not too much. I really love long comments like this, especially talking about little details, like Tommy talking to baby Ellie about another life, he would’ve been her dad. I wrote going under after I wrote ghost of you, Ellie story where Tommy steps up for Ellie and takes care of her and loves her so much so that was emotional for me and having to split the two universes.
I will say that you absolutely do not have to read ghost of you. There’s little one, there’s no smut, nothing like that, so I understand if it’s not your thing however, I do think it really wraps the story together really nicely and shows everyone’s life together coming through And I think it really makes for a satisfying end, but again not required at all
If you’re curious about life after little ones death, but don’t want to read Ellie‘s whole thing, or if you think you want to read Ellie‘s story, there’s three bonus chapters that focus on Tommy, Lorenzo, and Zach and their life with little Ellie. One, better than revenge, I think is a particular good epilogue if you want to feel some sort of justice in the world that I created there, just once wanting to see one of the bad guys lose.
And yes, today is officially the day that the wrong way was first put out a year ago and I’ll be really leasing a brief bonus chapter with some insight into Tommy, Jack, and Lorenzo, and kind of life for the Raiders
And I’m rewriting it, hoping to publish it as a dark novel, with a few minor changes it’s already in a U, so it’s not like it’s a rip off of the last of us or anything, but things like the twist when it makes sense, and of course the names will be changed
Fun fact, reworking, is that the baby will be born a boy, which is why Joel is so willing to give up the baby. He wanted a daughter, essentially to replace Sarah, so he’s not uninterested in the baby boy, but I think it makes more sense because In the wrong way it really didn’t make a lot of sense for Joel to let Tommy go so easily with Ellie. But to be completely honest with you that series could be difficult to write emotionally and I just didn’t have it in me to draw out the scene longer, and I rationalize it was in shock and triggered by little one dying in his arms.
And although the wrong way was technically a dark ending as Joel got what he wanted, and Lorenzo and Zach and Jack and Maura all died. I was really proud of little one in the end with being able to stand up to Tommy, Maria, and especially Joel for her family. She made the best choice that she could make in the best life that she can make for her family and for her children and making a better world for the children of their little town now. People won’t have to suffer the way that her and Zack suffered.
I appreciate you so so much and for your kind words right now, and I hope you’ll check out the bonus chapter when it comes out!
You are so loved 💕
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gaudebo · 3 months
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Thank you for your answer about orcs! I've loved orcs since I played skyrim, and they've just always been fascinating. I've never seen them as just angry and violent or savages or anything like that. My character was an orc who grew up in an orc village that was burnt down by someone with magic powers and he lost his family. because of this he trained hard to protect himself and joined a group of people who basically housed a bunch of people and had people come to temporarily buy bodyguard/fighter services from people. these people treated him well but they still overall had some say over him and whenever someone paid for his services it was basically a contract that said he had to do anything they said (within limits !!).
the idea itself felt iffy but I wanted to make sure it was obvious that my character and all the other people are there by choice and for the most part enjoy what they do, and the only services bought are adventuring services or knowle services and stuff and everyone kinda has their own "contract" but then it begs the question of why zero would have his contract basically say he has to do what someone else says. (The whole thing is very poorly thought out and I'll probably scrap the whole buying services thing and change his story completely )
so he has a hard time sometimes letting himself make decisions, so when he meets the other character and this character is very much like "dude I bought your help but I want you to just. be you." It kinda shakes up his world. ans even when the contract 'ends' my friends character still wants him around so he stays.
his story was kinda gonna be about growing and letting himself make decisions for himself but in general I wasn't sure how that storyline would seem since I realized the racism present in orc stories and wasn't sure if I was feeding into anything with it.
I also had him fairly violent but not for no reason? like if some of his party members were threatene or hurt he'd immediately be a "fight ask questions later" kind of guy but he's not as trigger happy as my friends character anyway.
I had him very monotone, he doesn't talk much, he's not dumb but he talks in very simple sentences not because he CAN'T say more but because he doesn't WANT to and he's very serious a lot and wants to convey things simply.
I have that he meets two guys who are alre dating, ithink we added angels and demons just to fit in my characters but I'm not sure so if not he's just an elf, and they all fall in love or something but again not very thought out.
I just love orcs and I didn't realize people were still leaning into the "orcs are bad evil things that just want o kill and are dumb" thing, like I thought most people had all collectively decided "oh they're just. big guys. that are sometimes grumpy sometimes soft. theyre just. big guys that are green and have tusks and like 'orc' things more often than not"
I'm gonna give myself an emoji because I feel like I might end up talking about orcs with you a lot of that's okay lol - ✨
Hi again and welcome back! I'm glad the first answer was helpful! This will probably get very long once again so the rest is below the cut!
I would definitely say reworking the buying and selling of services thing would be a good idea! It's the sort of thing that would rub me the wrong way if I were to be reading this. I like the general idea of there being a guild (or something) that he's joined (willingly), but maybe instead of someone Buying his services people submit jobs to the group that he can choose to join? And instead of "he has to do everything they say" more like "he has to do everything he can to complete the job." That way he is still a bit stuck in the situation because if he doesn't complete the job he doesn't get paid, but without the slavery undertones.
The biggest thing for me would be keeping them on even footing! The Other Guy (OG) hired Your Character (YC) for a reason. OG needs help that YC can provide. Maybe part of their relationship development is that OG relies on YC in a way that he hasn't experienced before! Where OG needs him to make decisions bc he doesn't have the experience/physical strength/etc. to do it on his own. That changes the narrative from OG letting him make choices to YC being put into a situation where his input is necessary and valuable. Makes things a bit less White Savior-ish if you know what I mean? (Not that I know OG is white of course, just with the POC-coding of orcs it could definitely read that way from the outside!)
The concept of him ending up on a job with someone who eventually helps him Open His Heart again is not inherently a bad one! There can still be moments of heartfelt connection especially the "I just want you to be you" moment bc that sounds very sweet! It could be a moment of YC expressing doubt that he means something to OG besides Muscle or whatever he's been hired for. Or even still OG asking YC's opinion about something outside of Muscle and YC being surprised that he wants to know. It can still shake up his world! But maybe more from the standpoint of "I didn't know somebody genuinely cares for me" as opposed to "I didn't know I had free will." It could even tie into him losing his family because he thought that everyone who cared about him was Gone and he'd never experience it again. And the growth is learning how to get back in touch with his feelings and connect genuinely with other people!
The storyline you have now isn't bad tbh! It just needs some tweaks. I can tell you do love orcs and that you’re invested in your character!! I think it’s admirable that you’re so intent on steering clear of negative tropes in your story. As someone who’s been turned off from so many stories bc of fantasy racism, I appreciate the effort! I’m sure if this story is ever shared with anyone else they will too!
have fun creating!!
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