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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

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BTHB: Tearful Smile

You anons wanted the dubcon drabble? I give you de dubcon drabble. CW: Dubcon (on both sides). Also contains drugging, mentions of torture, violence, and abuse, as well as threatened noncon (not depicted). And more than a fair dash of spice.

@spiffythespook asked for tearful smile for @badthingshappenbingo

Blood spot: requested Puppy sticker: fulfilled

This isn’t really my “Merry Christmas” piece - that’s going up next week. But it takes place just before the first Christmas (Handcuffs Year) Danny is in captivity, after just about a full year with Bram in the woods in Alberta.

Tagging: @bleeding-demon-teeth, @spiffythespook, @finder-of-rings, @whumpywhumper, @special-spicy-chicken

“Wh-what did you give him?”

“Does it matter?” Bram sits back on the couch, one arm up, sipping his beer, with the air of a man watching a really fascinating show on TV. “Look at him, Nate. Doesn’t he shine?”

Danny lay on his back with part of his head underneath the Christmas tree, blue eyes sparkling and hazy, running fingers along the lines of red and blue and green lights, whispering “pretty, pretty, pretty” to himself in a tone of hushed awe and wonder.

God, he’s beautiful. Even with the bruises.

Nate swallows back revulsion at the thought, the self-loathing that had become a second skin he wears over the first. The only protection he had left - hating himself for things he hasn’t even done yet, with the understanding that sooner or later, he will.

He can’t hold out forever, and it’s a miracle Bram has even gone this long without forcing him to take a more active role, to do more than clean up the blood, bandage wounds, maybe hold one knife while Bram uses another.

But he can’t argue with Bram’s question, standing next to the couch and looking across the room… because Danny did shine.

He’s high as a fucking kite, and he glows with it, all the daily miseries smoothed out and away by whatever was in his system. His jaw is a little slack, and the wavy red hair is spread out behind and beneath him against the Christmas tree skirt, a perfect circle of dark hunter green that sets off Danny’s pale skin, even in the yellowed light from the lamps and the crackling fireplace.

It etches the pale, thin scars on his face - he’s worn the muzzle three times in one year - into shadows, like a line drawing rather than a man.

Danny doesn’t even seem to notice him yet. He’s lost in the curved oval of the lights, twisting the cord that connected them, the wires a bright green mockery of the colors of the pine needles themselves, wrapped around fingers that were beginning to roughen from cleaning. Danny's hands were losing the way they’d once seemed so oddly sensitive for someone who lived as hard as Danny did.

“Bram, is h-he going to be… oh-okay, in the morning?” Nate had never really done drugs besides pot, it had never been his thing. He’s pretty sure he’s the only person he knows his own age who hasn’t tried something harder.

When he’d first gotten to know Danny, he’d been the only one still worrying about whether or not the skinny redhead, who towered over the rest of the group, would make it home safe after one unwise decision or another.

“What, cause you wanna bring him home with you?” Scott laughed, and the others laughed, too, standing at the bar with beers in hand watching Danny Michaelson throw himself around in a mosh pit down by the stage. It didn’t matter that the bar was dark and the band was loud and there was a crowd down there - you could always see Danny’s hair, his height, above the rest.

Nate watched him push at another man, who shoved back and sent Danny reeling, a fierce smile like a snarl on his face, before he spun and shoved at someone else entirely. You could nearly see the sweat droplets flung from his hair, the way he shone. Danny was angry - and elated - in the dark.

Nate wondered, with a sudden rush of blood in his heart and head and other places entirely, what he looked like with that much sweat on him and much less clothing.

He hadn’t been with anyone since he’d gotten away from Bram, but he thought maybe he was ready to try.

“Wh-what? No! I just… you kn-know, it seems like he d-d-does a lot of drugs,” Nate said, shrugging, trying not to look too concerned, too worried, too interested. He tried taking a very calculated drink of his beer, and spilled some less than gracefully onto his shirt, but it was dark enough that the other men didn’t notice.

“Oh, yeah, he totally does.” That was Will, who just shook his head full of curly dark hair, chugged the rest of his beer, smacked the empty bottle down on the bar, and ordered another - all in one graceful motion.

The bartender was not as impressed as Will wanted him to be.

Nate frowned, glancing back at the mosh pit. A woman nearly a foot shorter than Danny had been pushed down, and Danny leaned over her, blocking the crowd from getting near her while he threw an arm out to help her back up

God, Nate thought, not for the first time, and not for the last. He’s beautiful. “Has anyone tried to st-stop him? From getting high all the time?”

“Stop Danny?” Scott rolled his eyes. “Fuck no. Look, he’s a grown-ass man, he’ll make his own dumbass choices. He’s a cool guy, but he’s a fucking roller coaster. Just… hang on and enjoy the ride, Nate.”

“I’m n-not… that’s not wh-what I m-m-m-”

“Settle down, numbnuts, I’m kidding. Anyway, keep it casual with Danny or don’t keep it at all.”

“Wh-why?”

“He’s angry as fuck, man. Probably going to burn out by his mid-twenties on that bitter shit.”

“And the drugs, Will.”

“Right. Scott’s right - can’t discount the drugs. But, you know what - fuck it, don’t we all burn out by thirty now?”

“Yeah,” Scott said, and laughed again. “Danny just gets to burn out with all that mysterious money. We should all be so lucky.”

Nate stands next to the little plastic mat with the thin blankets that left Danny shivering and sometimes so desperately cold he was willing to get in bed with Bram just to have a hint of warmth, and wonders what Scott and Will and the rest of them would think about how lucky Danny is now.

Is his ankle chain lucky? Are the open sores on his wrists from the handcuffs lucky? Is he lucky to have Bram slice into the backs of his hands, over and over again? Should he count himself lucky to be alive, or would Danny have been luckier if he were dead by now?

“He’s fine,” Bram says, waving his free hand carelessly, bringing Nate back from his thoughts. The pale blue eyes - a little cloudy-looking, and with those darker pieces of himself that constantly move under the surface - are locked on Danny, too. “He knew I put shit in his drink the second I gave it to him and he didn’t fight me on it… so maybe there’s something you didn’t know about our little Red, huh?”

“N-no, I saw h-him do stuff, at bars…” Nate hesitates, torn between twin urges to walk away and to stay here to stare at the absolute gorgeousness that was Danny’s face lit from the inside out. That was the thing, wasn’t it? Danny had been bitter and angry - and sort of fascinating for the way he so easily accessed the fury that Nate no longer could - but on drugs he was softer. Nate had sworn, back when he was hiding out and hoping Bram would give up looking for him one day, that he could see that the bitter part of Danny was a shell he wore over the real man underneath.

“You want him?” Bram asks, casually. Like offering to let Nate borrow a book.

“I’m s-s-sorry, do I what?”

Of course I fucking want him, but not like this.

“You’ve said no every other time I’ve tried to get you to take him. I only brought him here because of you, anyway... What about this time? Maybe because he won’t remember it this time? Should make it easier on you, right?”

Yes, because the problem is whether or not he remembers it, not that I did it. That makes perfect fucking sense.

Bram glances back at him, and their eyes briefly meet, and Nate sinks under the water, for just a second, before Bram looks away.

You goddamn monster. I love you.

“I don’t th-think Ecstasy m-m-makes you forget anything,” Nate says, hesitantly, his low voice soft enough to cover the hardness of his thoughts. His stomach twists again. There’s nothing he’d rather do less than victimize Danny yet again, in a whole new way, in an even worse way than the bleeding and the pain.

Danny seems finally to notice him, twisting around on the floor to look over, shooting Nate a loopy, addled, beautiful bright smile. His ankle chain rattles as he moves, the cuff too tightly to even shift around. “Pretty lights,” He breathes. “Nate, come lay down in the lights with me. C’mon. I want you to see the lights this way.”

“Go ahead,” Bram says, grinning. It’s a shark’s smile, full of sharp teeth - too many sharp teeth. “He wants you to see the lights this way, Nate.”

“Bram, I d-d-don’t want t-to-”

“Do I look like I give a fuck what you want? I said get down on the fucking floor with him.” Bram’s voice drops, and Nate has been with him long enough not to flinch at the change in tone, but he feels the cold wash over him regardless. Every defiance, every time Nate says ‘no’, every moment he claws back onto the hint of who he is - all of it is a moment he’s waiting for Bram to turn on him and force him to do it, anyway. “Or would you rather I got down on the floor with him?”

“Oh, no, I don’t want that,” Danny breathes, but he can’t seem to keep his eyes on them - they trail back to the Christmas lights, the evergreen smell in the room, the hint of sticky sap on the trunk where it’s riveted into the tree stand with the special plant food to make its slow death take even longer. “Nate, I want you to come lay down with me, not, not Abraham, please. Nate, can you, please?” He turns the wide, clouded blue eyes on Nate.

“Look, see?” Bram grins. “He wants you down there with him.”

“Why are y-y-you doing this?” Nate whispers, through lips that barely move. “You d-don’t want him to f-f-feel good, or be happy. Why w-w-would you g, give him something that makes him f-f-feel like this?”

“Mmmn, that’s true.” Bram cocks his head as Danny tries to wriggle himself totally out from under the tree, pushing himself up on one elbow. His eyes move back down to the braided rug, the mass of colors and textures, and he rolls onto his stomach, running his fingers over the bumps and ridges of cloth. “Maybe it’s not him I want to make miserable today.”

Nate frowns, eyes narrowing slightly, but he can’t stop watching Danny’s fingers, long and thin, the tracery of scars along the backs of his hands, the wounds reopened and cut a little deeper every time he screws up, defies an order, tries to be who he used to be.

The bones of his wrists that stick out more than they used to, the little knob right there where wrist and hand meet that Nate just wants to hold, the underside with its thin hint of purplish-blue veins that he’d have given anything some days to lick-

He shakes it off, with effort, and swallows against the dryness of his mouth. “And you th-th-think giving me wh-what I want with him will m-m-make me miserable?”

“I know it will.” Bram shrugs, casual as can be. “You don’t want him like this. But I know you better than anyone else in the world will ever know you, Nate. I know you’ll say yes.”

“H-How do you kn-kn-know I’ll say yes?” Nate asks, and his voice is barely a whisper of sound, but Bram hears him anyway.

“Because if you won’t,” Bram says, taking a sip from his beer, “I will.”

“Y-Y-You already do.”

Bram’s smile could freeze Arizona. “Not like I will if you say no. I know you think I hurt him, but I want you to believe me, baby, I haven’t even scratched the surface of all the ways I can make him regret every fucking breath. So yes, or no?”

“Nate,” Danny says, in a low soft voice. “Nate, come over here. Feel this rug. Shit, I haven’t been high like this since…”

“Since before you came home to me, puppy,” Bram says sweetly, and Danny’s eyes jerk up to his, wide in a face that’s gotten thinner with never eating enough. They don’t quite manage to focus on him, but even like this this, Nate can see the naked fear that crosses his face.

“Before I came home,” Danny repeats quickly, but after a second he seems to forget he was looking at Bram at all. Nate watches his jaw slacken and all his thoughts slip right through his fingers as he drops his attentions back to the rug.

“Yes or no, Nate, I haven’t got all night,” Bram says. The walls of the living room, the one large room in this tiny cabin, seem to be closing in. Smaller and smaller, the way all his choices and his understanding of himself gets closed in, chipped away.

“Y-Yes, you do. We have all the t-t-time in the world, out h-here.” Nate’s voice is calm, somehow, and he steps forward, moving away from Bram and the furniture and over to Danny where he lays stretched on the rug on his side, watching his own fingertips playing with a loose thread in the seam that holds two rolls of the rug together.

“Is that a yes, my love?” Bram’s voice is low, and pleased.

Nate takes all the guilt that threatens to squeeze the breath out of him, sets it aside in an empty gaping canyon of self-hatred that lives eternally in the back of his mind, and says simply, “It’s a yes.”

Danny rolls onto his back, looking up at Nate, wavy red hair falling into his eyes. It’s winter, and Danny’s hair is already getting long, past his ears and whispering along the back of his neck, twisting in soft curls across his forehead. Nate reaches out to push the hair away, and Danny hums softly. “Your fingers feel nice,” He whispers.

“G-Good,” Nate whispers back, aware of Bram’s eyes burning into him, trying to ignore it, to push it all away. Life with Bram has always been about trading away whatever he has left, to save himself in the end. And now to trade the dregs of the man that still remains, to try and save another.

By doing something he’s always wanted to do and doesn’t want to do at all.

“So, this is stupid, but I’ve been… you know, I know you’re older and you, like, know shit I don’t. But I’ve been… thinking about you, kind of a lot, I guess.” Danny looked away from him, nervously sipping his drink, and Nate reached out to take it from his hands, letting their fingertips graze each other just a little bit.

“Don’t d-d-drink so fast, you’ll g-get drunk and be harder to t-t-talk to,” Nate said, and pitched his voice into real flirtation, something he used to be fairly good at. He’d gotten rusty, trapped in that house.

“Aren’t drunk people supposed to be easier to talk to?” Danny countered, but he lets Nate take the drink and place it on the table, tilted his head to let a little hair fall into his eyes, gave Nate a toothy smile that he knew already he’d love to see more of.

“Not y-you. I like you b-b-better sober.” Nate hesitated, then leaned forward, a little more into Danny’s space. When Danny’s smile only widened, and they were nearly nose-to-nose in the little bar, neither of them wanted to pull away and break the moment.

“I think I want to see more of you,” Danny said, a whisper nearly drowned out by the music around them.

“I th-think I want to s-see more of y-y-you, too,” Nate replied, and thought - fuck Scott and Will’s advice, they didn’t know shit. Nate had gone years trapped in hell and he just wanted to be with someone again.

Besides which, Scott and Will didn’t seem to see that under all his anger, there was something that shone in Danny Michaelson.

You just had to find it and bring it out.

Nate strokes gentle fingers across his forehead, down the side of his face and his neck, over a hint of collarbone that peeks out from the neckline of his shirt. Danny shivers with a smile on his face, eyes fluttering closed and then open again. “I’m s-s-so sorry,” Nate murmurs to him, with real feeling. “I’m so s-s-sorry, Red.”

“Sssshhhhh,” Danny whispers, and his own hands slip down. Nate watches with that dryness in his mouth again as the redhead’s fingers curve around the hem of his T-shirt, grip on, and he arches his back so he can slide it right off his head, tossing it lazily to the side. The firelight catches the muscles of his arms as he moves, sets off the freckled skin. “Ssssshhh, you’re so good, Nate, you’re so nice.”

“I’m sorry,” Nate repeats, because he has to, and with Bram watching them both, he leans down to kiss the end of Danny’s nose, one of the scars along his cheekbone, up to his forehead. “I’m so sorry. J-j-just look at m-me now, okay?”

The blue eyes open, and for a moment, the two men only look at each other and smile - Danny’s hazy and drugged and beautiful, Nate’s guilty, tearful, and a little frightened.

Frightened for Danny, frightened of Bram, frightened of himself and how easily he will hand over any last remaining shred of principle or conviction if it will save Danny Michaelson even a moment of pain.

“What are you waiting for?” Bram asks, not quite snapping.

Danny tenses, then reaches out to grab Nate by the back of the neck and pull him down for a kiss. His mouth is soft, and warm - the rest of Danny always seems so cold now - and Nate lets himself be lost in the moment, tries to shift away how much he hates himself for what he’s about to do.

But it’s better, if it’s him and not Bram.

At least once.

At least for tonight.

When they break apart, foreheads still touching, Danny’s cloudy eyes try to focus on his clear green ones. “‘Kay,” Danny murmurs, their lips still nearly brushing. “Can do it. Can look-... your eyes are bleeding, Nate.”

“What?” His voice is hushed, a whisper, and he brushes the backs of his knuckles on his good hand down Danny’s neck, over breastbone, down his stomach, watching Danny arch into the touch, feeling him shift and move as Nate’s hand curves around one hip over the thin cotton pants that are the only pants he’s ever allowed to wear, no matter the weather.

“Like green sky…” Danny smiles at him, a flash of white teeth, nuzzling at his face, his hands moving up to Nate’s neck, over his shoulders, feeling at the fabric of his shirt, lost in the softness, the warmth of the heavy knit fabric. “You’re stained glass,” Danny whispers, words slightly slurred. “You’re a fucking saint sparking fucking starlight…” Nate shifts, or Danny does - he likes to hope it was Danny, for his own sake, for his own sanity. It moves their hips together, just a little, where Nate lays next to him on the floor.

“Fuck,” Danny nearly groans. “Ah…” He grabs Nate by the arms and pulls the older man on top of him, and for a half-second Nate wants to forget that anything is wrong with this, that it’s anything but his first Christmas with the younger guy who seemed like everything Bram wasn’t, everything Nate wanted.

For a while, it’s only this - a kiss, or a series of them, but they run together and Nate isn’t sure he’d count it as more than one. Hands, and Danny’s ribs stand out too much in his thin frame and Nate’s fingertips trail over each shade and hint of light. Danny whispering to him, nonsense things, and the lights of the Christmas tree still shine in his eyes and bounce off his hair.

Nate buries his bad hand in that hair, feels the softness that’s started to go brittle after nearly a full year of never eating enough.

Bram laughs - the awful off-key barking hyena laughter - and Danny freezes underneath Nate, breathing harder, clutching tightly onto him like Nate could possibly protect him from the consequences of Bram’s horrible good humor.

“J-Just look at me, Red,” Nate whispers urgently against his ear, licking at the earlobe, feeling Danny shiver again and hold him with shaking hands. “Just look right at me.” His good hand slides back down to grip Danny’s hip, to steady him against the sense of Bram’s eyes, and his heart is pounding.

He can feel Danny’s heartbeat, too, and some part of him wants to smile, because he’d always sort of wanted to lay somewhere with Danny Michaelson, feeling his heartbeat right through his skin.

Not like this, though.

Not like this.

I should have known Bram would never, ever let me go. But it never occurred to me that if he found me with someone, he’d take them, too.

Nate drops his mouth to Danny’s neck now, kissing gently along the scarring starting there from the barbed wire that Bram sometimes wraps around his throat, making him practice breathing until he bleeds. When he nips at the scarred skin, Danny lets out the first real, true noise.

When he closes his mouth on it, the noise gets louder.

“Well this is getting interesting.” Nate would gladly stab Bram like he once stabbed his sister, leave him dying on the kitchen floor, and he and Danny would flee through the woods and find civilization, go back home-

But he can’t hurt Bram. And even if this is the only night he can protect, he can’t let Bram have Danny to destroy if he’s given even the barest hint of a choice.

Danny had tensed again at Bram’s voice, and Nate catches his eyes as he nearly turns to look at the monster sitting on the couch wearing skin like a man. “No, no, just look right at me,” He says, a little urgently, turning Danny’s face back to his. “It’s going to be oh-okay. It’s okay. I d-d-don’t want to, I promise, I just… I have to-”

“Of course you want to,” Bram interrupts, shifting where he sits, slowly leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs, beer still in hand. Outside, snow falls in a perfect picturesque white. “And if you don’t… I will.”

“I know that, B-Bram,” Nate says, in a voice that’s not quite pleading. “I kn-know. Just-”

“Sssshhhh.” Danny cranes his neck, moving his head up from the floor enough to kiss Nate’s cheek, scarred, rough-skinned hands pulling Nate back in for another kiss. “S’okay if it’s you,” Danny says, softly, and he smiles softly, and nearly everything about Danny is soft, and sweet, and beautiful.

And fogged and drugged, high and off-limits in Nate’s mind - but the choice he’s been given is to cross his own lines or watch Danny be torn apart again.

Tonight, just this one night, he has the chance to trade away one more piece of the principled, moral man he used to think he was. He gives away his certainty that he’d never do anything like this - that he would never, ever be this person - because if he doesn’t, Bram will do something far worse.

“Always if it’s you,” Danny continues, and now it’s his lips against Nate’s neck, tongue lapping at the slowly fading pink marks from Ashley’s knives, her little game of seeing how long it took him to scream. “I want you, too.” Danny’s hands are on his shirt and Nate lets him pull it up, pull it over his head, muss up his black hair.

He shouldn’t do this.

He has to do this.

He wants to do this.

But… not like this.

“Saint Nate,” Danny says, tone playful, consonants soft and slurred together, as his hands move over Nate’s chest and torso, play along his sides, slide down under the waistband of his pants until Nate nearly gasps. “Ha,” Danny grins at him. “Look at you, Saint Nate. Saint… Saint Nathaniel. Patron saint of, of puppies, and… fuck, what’d he put in my drink? Shit, you feel so good-”

Nate groans, and gives up, and his good hand slips into Danny’s pants, too, searches and finds, begins to move. When Danny’s hips jerk up hard, Nate pauses, but one scarred hand grabs at his wrist and presses his palm down right where it is.

“Don’t stop,” Danny murmurs, and uses his hand to show Nate what he wants him to do.

“Fuck, R-Red,” Nate groans into his neck, into his warm skin, as Danny moves against him. “I’m so sorry.”

This isn’t how I wanted this to happen.

“Say, what’s in this driiiiink,” Danny sings, and his voice is cracked and hideously off-key. Danny has an awful singing voice, and still Nate finds himself smiling. “Baby, it’s cold outsiiiiiide…”

“Sssshhhh.” Nate shifts back, resting his weight on his legs, a knee on either side of Danny’s hips. Still on his back on the floor, Danny’s eyes drift through the room, landing but never staying, and finally… finally they make it back to Nate.

When they land on him, they stay.

“Stop holding out on him, baby,” Bram says. His voice is impatient, not quite snapping, but Nate knows it for what it is - not annoyance but hunger. Bram wants him to be miserable, to hate himself, for spend the next few days castigating himself for being a fucking criminal, a piece of shit, the worst thing in the world. “He’s asking for it.”

“Please,” Danny says softly, and Nate’s hatred of himself shatters - for the moment only for now - under the affection there. Written on Danny’s face is all the sweetness Nate once thought you had to find in him, right there to be had, right on the surface.

“H-How can you w-w-want me like this?” Nate asks, and he doesn’t mean the drugs (although he means that, too). No, he wants to know how Danny can want him when they are trapped somewhere in the woods together but Danny is tortured and cut to shreds and beaten and destroyed piece by piece, while Nate eats at the table and doesn’t have to ask and sleeps in a bed without having to earn it.

He wants to know how Danny can want him, after everything that’s happened because Nathaniel Vandrum had a fucking crush on him.

“I wanted you before,” Danny whispers, fumbling at the button of Nate’s jeans, having trouble getting his hands to close well enough. “Why would I stop now? C’mere, Saint Nate. S’okay if it’s you, I want it to be you. C’mere.”

The lights from the Christmas tree light Danny’s skin with little hints of blue, and red, and green, and yellow. The lights glint in his hair and on the line of his freckled shoulder. They dance over some of the freckles on his face, and Nate can’t quite stop himself from kissing his favorite little cluster of them, right along the scar on Danny’s left cheek.

I could never deserve this.

I never wanted it like this.

I want you so badly it hurts.

I’ll hate myself tomorrow, if you’ll let me - but I don’t think you will.

“Merry Christmas,” Danny says, with an odd, lopsided, goofy little smile.

Nate shakes off the icy blue eyes that watch them from the couch, and lowers his head to kiss Danny again. “Merry Ch-Christmas.”

#whump #tw: serious dubcon #on both sides #drugged #tw: forced drugging #caretaker whumpee #caretaker #drugged whumpee #captivity #tw: referenced torture #mildly spicy - like PG 13/mild R spice #like safe enough to read in public but not so safe you want to explain what's happening to your grandma #Daniel Michaelson's story #Bad Things Happen Bingo #bthb daniel michaelson's story #tearful smile #scarring

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rubberducky-jrr · 5 years

Text

Girlfriend

Summary: Peter is madly in love with you, his roommate’s girlfriend. He tried to avoid you at all times to keep his feelings at bay. Until one night, he’s drinking hot chocolate with you at 2am as you pour your heart out to him, making him contemplate how he had gotten himself in this situation (College au).

Pairings: Peter Parker x Reader, Brad Davis x Reader

Warnings: Arguing, swearing, some very light smut and cute fluff.

A/n: So this was inspired from the song Your Girlfriend by Blossoms (not as sad as the song though). Hope you guys enjoy it!

***

It was a quiet night on campus for once, a soft breeze drifting in from his slightly ajar window. Peter laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the quiet sounds of the outside, the occasional drunk student singing as they made their way home after a night out.

He let out a sigh and glanced at the wall opposite him, knowing you were right next door in the arms of someone else. It frustrated him that you didn’t see him, only occasionally giving him a “hi” when you awkwardly bumped into each other on the way to the shared bathroom. However, he was slightly to blame for not talking much, constantly trying to avoid you to allow himself time to get over you.

His mind was a mess, thinking of you in a way that he shouldn’t, especially because you were his roommate’s girlfriend. Peter knew Brad didn’t treat you right. He knew that you argued a lot, having heard the shouting and seen your puffy eyes as you made your way back from the bathroom. Peter knew he could treat you better, so much better.

His mind drifted off to the first night he had met you, your beautiful laugh echoing through the corridor as Brad teased you while showing you his room. Peter had been sat in his bed, hunched over his books when he heard the laugh that could make his heart skip a beat. You had bumped into him on his way to the kitchen later that night as you were returning to Brad’s room with a mug of hot chocolate, wearing Brad’s jumper and some very tight shorts. Your smile had melted his heart the second it appeared on your lips. You had only said a few greeting words in that moment but Peter knew he was screwed.

He remembered back to a week after first meeting you, finding himself in a club with Ned, MJ, Brad and you. Your hips swayed to the club music, hair drifting down your back that was on show from your backless top. Your arms were wrapped around Brad’s neck, head swinging as you drunkenly danced to the music.

Jealously had turned its angry head that night as Brad’s hands drifted down to your hips and around to cup your ass. The only thing that Peter liked about that memory was the fact that Brad and you had argued later that night. However, the memory was ruined when the argument had quickly turned to sex, which Peter had had to suffer through. No matter how loud his music in his headphones was, it hadn’t been enough to block you moaning out Brad’s name.

He groaned at himself as he wished it was his name escaping your soft lips as he pleasured you. He finally pushed the covers off himself, knowing sleep was not going to come any time soon. He decided to make his way to the shared kitchen to grab himself a drink. He pushed the door open, running a hand through his messy hair before rubbing his face.

“Hi,” a familiar voice called from in front of him. He dropped his hand to see you curled up on the couch with a large college jumper and cute NASA shorts on, a steaming mug in your hands. Your eyes were slightly puffy, indicating to Peter that you had been crying before he came in.

“Oh... H-Hi,” he replied and you gave him a soft smile, glancing down at his pyjamas.

“We’re matching, how cute,” you commented on his NASA t-shirt, causing him to let out an awkward chuckle as he blushed slightly.

“Y-yeah, it appears so,” he said back before standing awkwardly at the door, forgetting that he had come for a drink. His mind was blank as he looked at your cute form curled up. He realised then that this was the most time you had spent around each other alone.

“I made myself hot chocolate, do you want one?” You asked, gesturing to your elephant mug in your hands and saving him from having to think of something to say.

“Uh, yeah... If-If you’re offering,” he replied without thinking and you nodded, slowly uncurling yourself from the couch and moving over to the kitchen counter to make him one.

He should have said no and quickly hurried back to his room to avoid spending time with you, to avoid his feelings bubbling up to the surface like they always did when he was around you.

“So, you can’t sleep too?” You asked and he nodded, letting out a sigh. The reason he was up was because of you, you were always on his mind... Not like he could tell you that though.

“What’s kept you up?” He asked instead as you poured some milk into one of your mugs you had brought over before heating it up in the microwave. You shrugged, turning to lean against the kitchen counter.

“Oh you know...” you wandered off, assuming Peter had heard the argument Brad and you had gotten into earlier. “I uh... I’ve just been thinking a lot lately about some stuff and it’s keeping me up.”

Peter’s curiosity peaked in that moment, wanting to know what was playing on your mind and if he could help. He hated seeing you sad, hated knowing you were struggling with something and that it was keeping you up.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He then asked before realising he probably wasn’t the best person to talk to about your feelings.

“I mean, only if you want to genuinely hear about it,” you chuckled. “It’s pretty late, I don’t want to keep you up.”

“No, it’s honestly fine. I’m not going to be going to sleep any time soon,” he replied, locking eyes with you and giving you a soft smile. You jumped slightly when the microwave dinged, indicating the milk was warm. You gave Peter a shy smile before preparing the rest of his hot chocolate.

“Thanks,” he said with a small blush as his fingers brushed against yours when you handed him the white mug.

You turned back to the couch, your shorts having risen up slightly. Peter forced himself to look away, taking a sip of his hot chocolate to calm himself. You flopped back onto the couch, picking up your hot chocolate and returning to the curled up position Peter had found you in.

“You coming?” You asked him, patting the cushion next to you. Peter moved over, gently sitting down next to you but making sure there was a good few inches between you both. “Are you alright?” You asked, narrowing you eyes at him slightly and causing him to bite the inside of his cheek.

“Uh... yeah, I’m good,” he lied, wanting nothing more than to just tell you that he couldn’t sleep because of you.

“You don’t seem too sure about that. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a terrible liar,” you teased causing Peter to let out a small chuckle. You smiled softly at him, your eyes shining brightly with so many emotions. He felt like he was melting into your gaze, his heart rate picking up as his breathing hitched.

You broke away first, clearing your throat before taking a sip of your hot chocolate, trying to hide the blush rising onto your cheeks. You had always had a soft spot for Peter and his messy brown locks. However, with the way he avoided you like a disease made you believe he didn’t particularly like you. You sat in silence for a few moments, both busying yourselves with drinking the hot chocolates.

“So...” Peter began, wanting to fill the silence between you both. “Do you do this often?” He asked awkwardly and you glanced down at your drink.

“Pretty much every night this week,” you admitted, having been restless all week. You had been trying to figure out a way of breaking up with Brad, knowing you two just weren’t meant to be.

“Something is definitely on your mind I see,” Peter stated and you sighed, resting your head against the couch back and looking up at the ceiling.

“Just struggling, you know,” you began and Peter hummed in reply. “I’m, uh... I’m thinking of breaking up with Brad, I’m just trying to find the right time.”

Peter’s mind went racing the second those words slipped from your mouth. You were breaking up with Brad, you were going to be single. His heart fluttered slightly at the sudden hope of him and you maybe having a chance.

“Oh,” Peter said, realising he had been silent for a while as his mind ran wild with possibilities. “Why?” He then asked casually. You shrugged, letting out a long sigh before locking eyes with him a moment later.

“We’re just not meant to be, you know. Our families are really close and when we got accepted to the same college, our parents sort off pushed it on us and well... You can guess the rest,” you wandered off, taking a breath. “My parents said that I could change him but... You’re not suppose to need to change someone to fall in love with them.”

“No... You’re not,” Peter agreed, watching you carefully as you glanced up at him shyly. “Is that what you were arguing about earlier?”

“Not exactly, Brad keeps trying to avoid the whole “we are breaking up” conversation. It’s infuriating,” you admitted, letting out a long sigh before turning your whole body to face Peter, crossing your legs on the couch with your knees brushing up against his leg. “Do you... Do you believe in love at first sight?”

Your question threw Peter off completely because yes, yes he did believe in love at first sight, his heart had told him that the second he had seen you in the dorm hall a few months back. However, he couldn’t really admit that to you right now, not when you were struggling with Brad.

“I’m not sure, I think it depends,” he simply said and you hummed, glancing down at his lips which Peter was very aware of you doing. The whole situation had him confused, trying to understand what every word from your lips and every action you took actually meant.

“I do,” you said before locking eyes with him. Your expression was hard to read but when Peter saw you glance to his lips yet again he knew then what you were trying to get across, or so he hoped he knew.

Before he could even think of a reply the door opened into the room, a tired looking Brad walking in a moment later to stand with a frown on his face.

“What are you doing with him?” Brad asked and you glanced at Peter before quickly standing up.

“We were just having a drink, couldn’t sleep,” you explained with a soft smile, walking over to him. He wrapped an arm around your waist, giving peter a glare before pulling you back to his room. You glanced behind your shoulder at Peter, a sad smile on your lips. He replied with a small wave goodbye before the door closed shut.

He let out a long sigh, his heart aching to save you, to wrap you in his arms like Brad had just done. He took another gulp of his hot chocolate, finishing the mug and realising then that it was one of them mugs that had a message at the bottom.

It read “You fill my heart with joy,” with a little heart symbol instead of the word.

Peter frowned, wondering whether you had done that intentionally or not. His heart fluttered, the feeling of butterflies in his stomach.

He had to know.

***

The next time Peter saw you was two nights later, hearing you before seeing you. He was currently making food in the kitchen with Ned sat at the kitchen table, who had a grimace expression on his face as he listened to you and Brad argue through the thin wall.

“So you said she was going to break up with him?” Ned asked, raising an eyebrow when he heard you groan loudly in annoyance at Brad’s words.

“Yeah, apparently their families kind of forced the relationship,” Peter said, stirring the pasta bubbling away in the pan.

“That makes total sense,” he said as Brad shouted at you, a sting of awful names flying from his lips. Peter’s blood boiled at the words, his knuckles turning white from where he gripped the wooden spoon he was cooking with.

“I’m going to say something,” Peter growled but Ned quickly stopped him, jumping up from the table and stepping in front of a very angry looking Peter.

“I don’t think that is a good id-“

“You know what Brad!” You shouted, your voice not wavering as you stood strong in front of him. “Fuck you! We are so fucking over,” you snapped, grabbing your bag and slamming the down behind you.

Peter and Ned listened for you to move to the door to leave but you didn’t, stood still outside Brad’s door in the corridor instead. Ned frowned at Peter who shrugged and moved over to the kitchen door. Peter looked through the glass window of the door to see the tears streaming down your face. Your hands were balled up into fists, your body shaking slightly from the anger inside you.

He watched you turn and walk to his room, thinking he was in there and not the kitchen. Your hand drifting up to hover in a fist in front of his door. You bit your lip, not knowing if you should knock. You really wanted to see Peter, to pour your heart out to him but knew it probably wasn’t a good idea in your current state.

His heart broke slightly when your hand dropped to your side, your shoulders dropping too before you turned and left the dorm.

“She was going to knock on your door.” Ned’s warm breath brushed against Peter’s ear as he too watched you leave from over Peter’s shoulder.

“Dude,” Peter complained, wiping his ear slightly before moving back to the hob to check on the food.

“You should go after her,” Ned said and Peter frowned.

“A minute ago you said I shouldn’t intervene.”

“That was before she was single and crying and clearly wanting to see you,” Ned said and Peter just sighed, picking up the wooden spoon and stirring the pasta yet again.

He had wanted to go after you but seeing you second guess knocking on his door caused him to hesitate.

“This is your chance, Peter,” Ned said before Peter shook his head.

“She needs some time to clear her head, plus I’m making pasta.”

***

He had awkwardly bumped into Brad a few times that week in the corridor and shared kitchen. Brad had eventually spoken up, saying he was leaving to live on his own as he couldn’t stand being around Peter anymore.

Peter had actually been relieved to hear that Brad was moving out, however he had been shocked to hear that it was his fault and not the breakup with you. The thought had played on his mind for days, wondering why it was his fault and if you had said anything to Brad about him.

He needed to talk to you, but the fact that he hadn’t heard from you in two weeks now made him start to think you only talked to him because you were dating his ex-roommate. He decided that the mug had been one big coincidence and that he needed to start getting over you, properly this time.

Three weeks after you had stormed out of the dorm, you found yourself outside it once again. You stared at the buzzer, your nerves making your chest tight and chest tight. You tried taking a deep breath in but that didn’t help calm you.

Without thinking, you finally pressed the buzzer for Peter’s dorm before stepping back and waiting. His new roommate, Jason, answered the door and stood back to let you in a moment later after you had asked for Peter.

“He should be in his room,” he said before leaving you alone to stand awkwardly in the corridor. You glanced at Peter’s shut door, knowing that the second you knocked on it your world could possibly change forever.

You lifted your fist to knock, hand shaking slightly from the nerves. Before you could knock, his door suddenly swung opened and he walked directly into you.

“I’m-I’m sorry,” he mumbled out, stumbling back slightly and quickly removing his headphones.

“No, it was my fault,” you chuckled awkwardly, a deep blush on your cheeks as you gave Peter a soft smile. “Can we talk?” You then asked a moment later and Peter froze for a second, his mind racing with everything you could possible want to talk about. Brad, his own feelings for you, the weather? It could be anything.

“Y-Yeah, sure,” he said, stepping back to let you into his room before shutting the door behind him.

“Wow,” you breathed, scanning around his room. There was Star Wars posters scattered around the walls, a few drawings and doodles along with them. You glanced at his bookshelf, taking in the vast amount of science and Lord of the Rings’ books he had.

“Oh uh...” he began, causing you to glance back at him with a small smirk on your lips.

“No judgement here, I have NASA and Game of Thrones’ posters up on my walls,” you said, allowing some ease to Peter’s nerves. He smiled shyly at you, standing awkwardly in the middle of his own room, hands shoved in his front jeans pockets as you looked around.

“We can, uh... we can sit if you want?” Peter suggested, quickly moving to his bed and neatly fixing the covers before sitting down.

You came to sit down next to him, crossing your legs before glancing down at your hands in your lap.

“So...” Peter began, sensing that you needed a little encouragement to say what you wanted to say to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Awful and pretty nervous, if I’m being honest,” you said, letting out a huffed laugh. “What about you?” Peter let out a sigh, a hand running through his hair to tug at the knots.

“I’m okay I guess, slightly confused,” he admitted and you frowned at him. He took a deep breath in, his hands beginning to feel sweaty as the nerves built up within him. “Brad mentioned why he was leaving,” he began, his words causing you to glance down at your hands yet again.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, he uh... He said he couldn’t stand living with me anymore,” Peter told you, glancing across at you as you stared intently at your lap. Your heart was beating hard against your chest, your nerves washing over you and making your chest tight.

“I... I can explain,” you finally said, taking a steadying breath in before looking up at him. He caught your eyes, keeping silent as he waited for you to build up the courage to speak again. “I may have told Brad that I... I didn’t want to be with him because, well for one we just didn’t fit and two... I kind of have feelings for someone else.”

Peter raised his eyebrows in response, his heart hopeful as he put two and two together.

“That someone being you,” you then added, not daring to look back up at him again.

“Right,” was the only thing that Peter could say in his excitement and shock. You actually liked him, all this time he had been trying to force his feelings for you down when he should have been doing the opposite.

“Right? That’s-That’s all you have to say?” You were quick to reply, embarrassment rising as you realised you were making a fool of yourself. “I’m... I’m going to go, I’m sorry I said anything honestly. It’s just a small crush, like it’s totally fine. Just forget I said anything,” you quickly rushed out, jumping up from the bed and making your way to the door.

Peter was so shocked by your sudden outburst it took him a few seconds to understand what you had said.

“No, wait,” he quickly said, scrambling up off the bed to catch your hand before it could go to the door handle.

You turned, hand still in his as you looked at him. The soft smile on his face melted your heart, his puppy-dog eyes looking deep into yours with so many words unsaid.

Before you knew it, Peter had leant in towards you, unable to hold back his feelings for you any longer. His lips were against yours, his hand slipping from yours to grip your waist.

You were shocked for only a second before you melted into his touch you hands drifting up to cup his cheek.

Everything about you washed over his senses, the smell of your perfume, the way you let out a soft moan against his lips as he kissed you more passionately. He felt himself falling more in love with you in that second.

He had waited so long to feel you against him, to feel your lips against his. He had waited so long for this moment and it was making his heart feel like it was going to burst.

You finally pulled away, your hands on his chest with his hands still on your waist. A shy smile formed on your lips, one appearing on Peter’s too.

“That was... nice,” you breathed, Peter’s heart soaring from your words.

“Yeah, I uh, I agree,” he said, a small blush rising to his cheeks. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he finally admitted and you giggled slightly.

“Me too,” you said before kissing him once again. Your hand drifted to cup the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you. His arms slipped around your waist, holding you against him as you kissed.

Everything was finally right in the world for Peter, no more days of hearing you and Brad argue, no more sleepless nights because he couldn’t get his jealously to settle.

“The mug,” Peter began once you had pulled away from the kiss. He saw your expression change slightly, your eyes darting to the ground as your cheeks began to warm. “Was that a coincidence, the writing at the bottom?”

“I feel like if I say yes it would make me look less pathetic,” you began, causing Peter to chuckle slightly. “But no, I uh, I did it intentionally,” you blushed and Peter’s smile, if possible, grew wider.

“I love that,” he said before pulling you into yet another kiss.

Peter suddenly lifted you up, causing you to let a surprised gasp escape your lips. His hands were on the back of your thighs as you wrapped your legs around his waist. He carried to over towards his bed, gently placing you down on the pillows before glancing down at you, unsure of what to do next.

You chuckled at his expression, grabbing his t-shirt and pulling him down on top of you. Your lips crashed against his, your hips bucking slightly into him to feel him up against you. A soft, surprised moan escaped Peter’s lips, the kiss breaking slightly as his breathing hitched.

“Hi,” you teased him, feeling his bulge against your thigh. Peter’s cheeks turned a dark shade of pink in that moment, causing a smile to appear on your lips. One of your hands wrapped around the back of his neck, the other running through hair. You pulled him down against you, lips connecting once again.

You both had a lot of kissing and make-out sessions to make up for the last couple of months.

--------

Tag list (sorry if tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you): @mc225g @hopeless-fangirlia @romanoff-nataliaalianovna @spideydobrik @disgustangg @keithseabrook27 @therubbishbagel @missmulti @thesmolgreek @doubtinglord @spaghetittiesbcimgay @freestarlight @anaaaddicted @cyrusandhiscollaredahirts @peterbparkerth @idkbrodontaskme @the-quiet-observer @pstanford-67 @nxrdlxcy @spidcyparker @spidermansmj14 @makowoh @kay-bear200 @mickey-baxter @mxxkscreate-write @parkersroses @tiktok-spideyy @bella-0104-123 @freezerb0x @lavander9396 @selenabraven @witchy-hermione @fuckmeupmatelikenow @shittytiddy @honeyaquariius @chubby-tink @spideyyypeter @ladureelwt @kimjeon7 @fantasticpickleprunesports @cazslaughter @hollandsthot @tiny-friggin-human @beyondthebeautifuleyes-blog-blog @liquidcourage-tm @sicparvismagnaxi @justcallmehitgirl @klmurr @britishbutnotbritish @myladylight @the-chaos-girl @bextk22 @emistrash @honeymarvel @my-kryptonite-13 @kayleypaige2233 @thegirlinthetrashcan @mybitchborky @notevenemma

#peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #college au #marvel fanfiction #marvelfanfiction #peter parker x y/n #peter parker oneshot #my work #girlfriend

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lucatorahaven · 4 years

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vampire au post

4 skype convos haphazardly mixed in from very different times

[29/11/2014 4:27:51 AM] Probably Not Assorted Cheeses: Vampire au

Lucas the incompetent vampire who eats mostly animals

Duster was the one who bit him, only bc duster was literally starving n lucas came at a bad time

idk if duster should be born a vampire or not but Wes is one too and together they taught lucas how to survive.

however eventually they had to leave, they offered for lucas to join them but lucas can’t leave his family behind, the kid’s too sentimental :’(

so together they staged his death (which im too lazy to try n think of)

claus knew bout the vampire thing tho, lucas couldn’t live alone like that. He also ended up biting Boney in an accident so hey vampire dog.

claus grew up and eventually had his own family. Lucas could only really watch from afar but then the kids got his age and it was hard to see him and keep the gig up. He visited his parents funeral anonymously and afterwards him and claus stood there just

“sup” “how’re the kids” “twice your age and with kids of their own” “heh, i always thought you would be the one with kids yano?”

it was very bittersweet, it felt like they’ve never been apart

“it never stops feeling strange without you” "I know”

lucas thinks of that conversation a lot

he started off the "younger uncle" then the "weird neighbourhood kid that visits grandpa claus" and inevitably the "weird kid from nowhere who goes to the cemetary every other month to put flowers on graves older than appears to be"

SO without attachments lucas traveled with boney, hoping that they find duster along the way.

eventually lucas comes back to tazmilly but it’s been a couple hundred years now and it’s completely different so he doesn’t recognize it

n lucas one day is caught outside with no shelter, it’s almost morning so he runs into osohe (which is way outta town so he assumed it was abandoned)

vampires can’t enter homes without being invited in because apparently homes are holy land but osohe is fuckn haunted so that doesn’t apply (adding on to the abandoned theory)

that’s how kumatora and him meet, she finds him exploring osohe all “wtf the fuck who are YOU...this me house”

So she gets an awkward lie explanation from lucas

n she eventually catches on lucas is a vampire n is just DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE I NEVER MET A VAMPIRE BEFORE FUCKN SWEET

lucas is just UM.;;; IS IT OK IF I STAY

"oh dude it's cool!! but u gotta tell me bout yourself bc i never met a vampire before ok?? i live iN THE PERFECT GOTHIC HOME BUT THERE’S NONE!! but here you are and i’m JACKED i gotta go to work tho so brb but afterwards u gotta tell me about yourself ok CYA"

lucas is still processing everything by the time she leaves, but he’s grateful and figures a conversation is the least he can do to repay her

in this au kumatora’s into cryptology bc her house is FULL of books and it’s a common subject (also the fact her castle is filled with ghosts and there are zombies just across the moat, it’s a p convenient hobby)

when she comes back she’s super excited because he’s still there

lucas is kinda reserved but he still answers questions bc it’s POLITE

she asks bout p much everything?? “HEY do you need that” “y-yes” “is this true?” “not that i know of” “ok experiment time” “uH;;” “wait am i keeping you up?? it’s still daytime” “no it’s okay”

after exhausting lucas of all his Vampire Facts kuma invites lucas to live at osohe castle, it’s big enough anyways

lucas is wary af bc he doesn't wanna accidentally get close to someone who 1. has a life span and 2. is technically food

but lucas ends up sticking around anyways, boney really likes it and he lowkey enjoys her company

so they keep chillin n lucas tells her how he hunts animals n how he only takes a bit of blood so they don't die and

IDK I GO BY THE THEORY THAT VAMPIRES HAVE VENOM bc otherwise their entire food source becomes COMPETITION n they can bite but not?? TURN THEM INTO ANYTHIng so controlled blood flow for feeding purposes

also vampires only need to eat once or twice a month? they die around 6+ months without eating from starvation. It all depends on how quickly the blood cells in their body die basically.

ALSO when they bite you it doesn’t hurt bc their saliva numbs it so (sneaky bites) but it still feels weird as shit

bUT YA SO LUCAS N KUMATORA CHAt a whole bunch...you know that “accidentally get close” thing i mentioned? it happened

(it was kinda hard to avoid when the first companion you have that’s not your dog is informed on vampires and vampire goods, that was convenient)

so they keep hangin out and kumatora unlocks his Tragic Backstory

n sometimes kumatora helps him feed? like they go out together finding animals n storing blood

n lucas is fascinated with how technology has advanced bc he doesn't really?? go into towns anymore but he fuckn LOVES it

n they play video games n general COOL FUNTIMES

kumatora let’s lucas borrow her labtop to occupy himself and he looks for other vampires or hints of them

(this is under the assumption that osohe can get electricity in a modern au while still being ignored / abandoned)

n when kumatora goes to work he cleans up the castle n tries to show how much hE REALLY APPRECIATES HEr

n lIKE i also go by the logic that vampires do not do the stereotypical “turn into ashes at sunlight” it is a slow progression that takes up to 12 hours until absolutely turned to a crisp

so basically if he covers himself and wears a shit ton of sunscreen he can chill in the middle of the day for like...a hour or two

and bc kumatora's WORTH IT he visits her at work n she's all LucAS WHAT ARe yO U DoING??

lookin like a modern goth kid......has a huge red burn on his cheek..

he blames it on how pale/blonde he is “my brother is ginger you know”

kuma gets super worried n he's all bruh it cool i have like..2 more hours until i need to go to a hospital

n kumas jsuT I GET OFF IN 4 HOURS GO HOME

kumatora invites him to movie nights with her friends n shit

people start calling lucas kumatora's goth boyfriend “never call him that when he's around or i'll murder you”

theyre all rather cool with lucas and find his speech kinda funny?

"wow look at those teeny boppers" "GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY GOD I LOVE IT" “???????????????" kumas friends ask for lucas more all WHAT SCHOOL DOES HE GO TO WHERE DOES HE LIVE "oh he's......foreign B)"

eventually it comes up how lucas doesn’t really want to be a vampire anymore and kumatoras just “dude i can help you find a cure” bc maybe her hobby is a bit Excessive but live your dreams

but ya lucas is just?? constantly wants to visit kumatora n loves her night shifts!! visits all the time they go on hikes a lot n jusT? GETS SO FUCKIGN ATTACHED IT SCARES HIM CONSTANTLY

they sometimes fall asleep on the couch together n when he's all "wow shes so cute.." he realizes how fucking Deep he’s in this and he’s FUCKED

he tries to distance himself but he Can’t Fucking Do It (just like w/ his fam)

whenever he tries to push her away she looks so upset it kills him

N HE'S IN SUCH A STRUGGLE BC HE'S JUST

SO HAPPY TO BE AROUND HER??????

N LIKE WHEN THEY CUDDLE N STUFF HE'S JUST SO OVERWHELMED BC oh my god heartbeats!! oh my god she's gonna die before me

n lucas really fucking feels the severity of how FUCKED he is when its her birthday n hes just

yes she's gonna age and he's gonna outlive her n they could never realistically be happy even if by some offhand chance she even RETURNS the feelings

N HE HAS TO HIDE HIS CRYING N STUFF BUT KUMATORA HAS A 6TH FUCKN SENSE FOR DISTRESSED LUCAS SO SHE'S ALL bruh :( whats up

so he opens up to her about his feelings and anxiety and she hugs him through it, it’s kind of a shitty way to confess

“idk if i can forgive you for deciding that i’m gonna die before you” “are you threatening murder” “that and no way death’s gonna get me, i’m pretty stubborn”

a lil while passes

“you know... i’m okay with becoming a vampire” lucas refuses bc dude.. you can’t even comprehend the weight of immortality.. what if she regrets it

“to hell if i make my closest friend suffer because of a life span” “hah i guess that’s the same for me”

they drop the vampire topic for the time being and move on to other ones such as... mutual feelings :^)

they’re both romantically inclined i mean... lucas spent 300+ years being a hermit and kumatora had other things to do

so they take it slow, it’s p much the same as before except.. hey...now when i think “man i wanna hold their hand” i CAN

it'd also be really sad and/or cute if the ghosts in the castle some of them were lucas's family which might be why boney likes it so much but also imagine them kissin on the couch "kuma ghosts r there" "EH THEYRE JUst ghosts" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) claus looks into the camera "after so long... finally my little brother gets some action :')"

but idk if that’s a thing bc it feels kinda weird i feel like kissin n shit wouldn't b very often bc as much as they both loVE IT

IT'S NOT THAT GREAT FOR A VAMPIRE

YANO.... HEARTS R BEATING... NECK IS RIGHT THERE (lucas still adores it tho)

so back to the topic of Mortality

kuma gets attacked in an alley on the way home from work

n lucas finds her bc they were gonna meet up but he smelt the blood and when he does find her he just goes FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK n didn't know how to save her

also thinking rationally is hard when OH LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD AHhaHA

SO HE BITES HER

he carries her body home n he spends the whole waiting process between DEAD and VAMPIRE crying just "hoyl shti please work please work" “what did i fucking dooooo” “what if i was earlier” “what if i was too late” so many anxieties

kuma wakes up and lucas transistions from panic to HAPPY PANIC OH THANK GOD

she’s really out of it bc of the process and he’s crying apologies “it’s okay you saved me” but he’s still crying, they cuddle for comfort

"hey atleast we did it NOW when i'm a hot sexy 19 yr old and not a wrinkly old lady” “kuma” “i’m tryna make light of the conversation”

so now that kumatora’s a vampire she only works night shifts until she eventually quits. They moved to a new town / whatever so it was easy to avoid having to meet someone in the daytime. facebook helped keep in touch with her friends while still letting the friendship die out.

it took kumatora a bit to get used to being a vampire. she threw up a lot at first and she didn’t like having to drink blood but she did eventually get used to it

idk if they find a cure bc idk what the cure would BE but they eventually find other vampires :^) they continued lucas’s search for duster and probably found him tbh

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mysterylover123 · 4 years

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My Top 10 Halloween Episodes

mysterylover123

Happy Halloween Everyone!

I’ve been rewatching my favorite shows’ Halloween episodes as a means to prepare for the holiday (and get ideas for things to do!) and I’ve decided to compile a list of my Top 10 favorites. These are the episodes I consider the best, the most packed with spooky goodness and Halloween surprises, of all the shows I’ve seen. Let me know if there’s one I should check out!

#10. The Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror V”

“NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER SOMETHING SOMETHING.” “GO CRAZY?” “DON’T MIND IF I DO!”

While I do wish Simpsons had stopped at Season 10 like most, I can still acknowledge its absolute mastery of the Halloween episode with this annual anthology. And like most, I can also concede that the best of the best, the creme-de-la-creme, is the 5th one: The Shinning parody of course, first and foremost, is absolutely classic and deservedly so. Having recently endured a week without power, and thus NO TV AND NO...NOT BEER BUT COFFEE...I totally get where Homer is coming from. The other two segments, and other Halloween eps, are also strong as well. But you can’t have a proper TOP 10 HALLOWEEN EPS list without a Treehouse of Horror. So here it is!

#9. Spectacular Spider-Man The Uncertainty Principle”

“Twas the night before Halloween, and no folks were stirring, not even Green Gob...lan.”

Spidey is one of the few superheroes with both the whimsical roster of characters and the appropriately spooky rogues gallery to make for great Halloween episodes. While Spider-Man and his amazing friends in 1981 started out with it’s own Goblin Halloween ep, my nod has to go to Spectacular’s ‘Uncertainty Principle’, a suitably creepy episode featuring all the stuff you want around this holiday. The cast in whacky costumes, spooky decor, and creepy plotlines about the Green Goblin and the arrival of the Symbiote. It’s even more horrifying in hindsight when you find out what’s really going on in the series finale...but for itself, it’s a suitably spooky time. Also, Spider-Man dressed as Spider-Man for Halloween.

#8. Angel “Life of the Party”

“Some are saying it’s an even better ritual sacrifice than the one last year.”

The absolute master of the Halloween episode is uncontrovertibly the Buffy-verse. I have 3 entries on this list alone, and it was hard to resist including a forth. But for now, let’s start out with Angel’s sole incursion into the Halloween genre, an Office Party ep from their 5th season. Spoiler alert: Season 5 is about Team Angel taking over Wolfram and Hart and trying to use it for good. The Halloween party there is a big deal and Lorne is going nuts from planning it. Consequently, we get a wild ride of demon guests, LorneHulk, Team Angel doing crazy things, and whacky Halloween decor. Spike smiling and partying out like a loon is definitely worth htetheprice of admission.

#7. Friends “The One w/ the Halloween Party”

“I am a woman who spent a ton of money on this dress and wants to wear it until she is too big to fit into it.”

I had actually never seen the Friends Halloween episode until this year. I definitely enjoyed it; the cast’s costumes are funny, the various Halloween antics are adorable - especially Rachel being pushed around by candy-randy kids - and the Halloween-y atmosphere is quite convivial. Though as a comic book nerd, I must point out how completely absurd Joey’s suggestion of ‘who would win, Catwoman or Supergirl’ being Catwoman. Like, seriously? A nonpowered thief vs a freaking Kryptonian? Even people who don’t read comic books should know the answer to that one! Were people in the year 2001 really that clueless? But anyway, on a more somber note, this was apparently the first one they shot after 9/11, and ended up Lisa Kudrow’s favorite, because a stranger thanked her for making them laugh. Aw!

#6. South Park “A Nightmare on Face Time”

“Oh, and Kenny? Stay gold.”

SP has a number of Halloween episodes, but my favorite has to be this one from 2014. There’s two main plotlines and they’re both Peak Halloweeny goodness. First, there’s Randy reenacting The Shining as his new Blockbuster video goes under due to Netflix stealing business, which is absolutely hilarious. Then there’s the boys as The Avengers, hoping to win a costume contest despite Stan having to FaceTime. This part is full of trick-or-treating goodness, with each of the costumes being perfect for the kid (WE HEAR KENNY’S VOICE! ALBEIT DISTORTED!) and the comedy of how seriously everyone takes Stan’s ipod battery dying being absolutely killer. Certainly wins the prize for Funniest Halloween Ep Ever. (Also, Kyle’s thor costume. Thor would obviously look so much cooler with that hat.)

#5. Buffy “Halloween”

“It’s come as you aren’t night!”

The second of the Buffyverse Halloween entries on the list. Not just a great Halloween ep but a great Buffy ep too, this one is absolutely rolling in seasonal riches. Pumpkin patch vamp fight! Halloween decorated Bronze! Ethan Rayne turning everyone into their costumes is such a clever gimmick, and as usual with a Buffy ep they do more with it than just that. Noblewoman!Buffy, Military!Xander and Ghost! Willow are each a treat to watch as they try something new with their lives. I’m a little annoyed by the “not like other girls” sappy Bangel ending, but otherwise, this one is just golden. (My shipper heart rejoices in the Cangel Bronze Date and Buffy being awfully flirty with Willow as well, for the record).

#4. Parks and Rec “Halloween Surprise”

“You can’t plan your future, Leslie. You just gotta let it happen.”

Parks and Rec is another one with a plethora of great Halloween eps to choose from (something about blonde female leads I guess). This one takes the spot for being the most substantial, plot-wise, of all four, including lots of changes in the story and a great lesson at the end - though also for having the best costumes (Rosie the riveter Leslie! Princess Diane), the best celebration (Screening of Death canoe 4 Murder at blood Lake sounds like an absolutely delightful way to spend a Halloween) and the best ending (BEN PROPOSES TO LESILE OMG). The only thing it’s missing is April, who only cameos at the start. But she gets plenty to do in the other Halloween eps, so I’ll forgive it.

#3. Frasier “Halloween”

“I’m Waldo. From Where’s Waldo. You know, the guy you can’t find because he blends into the crowd.” “I don’t know, but I’d love a demonstration.”

Frasier is absolute peak sitcom comedy, especially with the Farce plotline. This one is a great, sophisticated classic, with Niles throwing a Library association ball - which means everyone must dress as a character from literature. Niles is Cyrano, Martin is Holmes, Frasier and Daphne are from the Canterbury tales, and Roz is O from the Story of O. The real conflict of the ep is “Is Roz Pregnant” and everyone mistaking who’s pregnant by whom. The climax is Niles proposing to Daphne who he thinks is the one pregnant from an imaginary fling with Frasier. It’s funny, glib, and absolutely whacky, with some extra Halloween shenanigans to keep you occupied, like Niles’ weird old-timey theme and the parade of trick-or-treaters constantly interrupting the skits demanding candy. Definitely don’t miss this one!

#2. Gravity Falls “Summerween��

“We’re getting older, there’s not that many Halloweens left!’

There’s definitely something about supernatural shows and Halloween episodes that just creates that extra level of quality. GF is a great show all around, and this little gem of a Halloween ep is one of the best of the whole series. It’s got everything: The Summerween Trickster, the trick-or-treating, the try-hard scares and the mad dash for candy. My favorite thing about it, though, would have to be the conflict between Dipper and Mabel about what to do for Halloween. They were always debating whether it were better to grow up too soon or try to stay a kid, and this one uses Halloween to illustrate that: Dipper torn between the Grown Up party and the Kid Trick-or-Treating, and the poignant way that rings true for all of us here in the US - that day when you finally realize you’re ‘too old’ for trick-or-treating - really makes this one strong.

Hon Mentions: The other Parks and Rec episodes; Buffy All the Way; the camptastic Smallville episode “Thirst”, the How I met Your Mother Halloweens

#1. Buffy “Fear Itself”

“Don’t taunt the fear demon!” “Why, can he hurt me?” “No, it’s just tacky.”

Like I said before, no one does Halloween like Buffy does Halloween. And this one is the best of the best, of the best. Everything you could want from a Halloween ep is right here. Pumpkin carving, check. Crazy party, check. Whacky costumes, check. Spooky real scares, check. The Gang’s costumes are a parade of awesome (ANYA AS BUNNY!) and the concept of exploring each member’s Greatest Fear is an absolute winner. I love every time a TV show tries to do a Greatest Fears episode, because it’s just a concept I get a kick out of - such a great way to explore our characters’ most primal needs! - and this is b y far the best. The atmosphere, the subject matter, the costumes, and the writing, which is seriously killer in this episode (”Prepare to have your spines tingled and your gooses bumped by the terrifying...Fantasia.” “Maybe it’s because of all the horrificthings we’ve seen, but hippos wearing tutus just don’t unnerve me the way they used to”) all make this, in my opinion the best Halloween ep of all time.

#the simpsons #treehouse of horror #Halloween #halloween episodes #spiderman #spectacular spider man #angel #friends #the one with the halloween party #south park #buffy #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #Parks and Recreation #frasier #gravity falls #summerween #top 10

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ladyramora · 6 years

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I'd like to see some more stuff with some waifus (I LOVE the husbands, but your last post made me want to see more of the girls) if that's alright with you?(and if you feel like it of coarse). what would they do if WoL got a bunch of love letters from fans or people they've helped and Wol doesn't want to be rude and throw them out without at least reading them first

- - -

- -

Alisaie

“Twelve, look at all of them!” Alisaie exclaims, crouching down beside you as the Scions delivery moogle tips their delivery bag upside down, dumping a truly ridiculous pile of letters in front of you.

You stare at the pile with wide eyes, feeling impossibly overwhelmed. What had you been thinking, to read all of them instead of simply doing away with them?

Alisaie bumps your shoulder, and you turn to her with a helpless expression.

“Ah, don’t make such a face!” Alisaie says with a laughing smile. That leveilleur snark in full force with the curve of her lips and twist of her wrist as she gestures to the overwhelmingly mountainous pile. “It’s obvious you’ll need assistance, of course. And who am I to deny my dear friend aid?”

Your frown turns upside down at that, and you fling your arms around her in a grateful hug, gushing, “Alisaie! Thank you!”

Alisaie squirms in your arms, blushing bright pink from cheeks to eartips. “D-don’t get all excited! I’m just offering to help, not take on the entirety of the work! These are letters for you after all!”

Alisaie makes an adorable squeak as you rub your cheek against hers, still very much grateful as you squeeze her again, pecking a kiss on her rose flushed cheek.

“You are the sweetest, Alisaie!”

Alisaie smacks a hand to her cheek as you release her, looking at you with the most endearingly flustered expression.

“W… Well!” She clears her throat, shifting a little further away before sitting down carefully in her skirt.

She sniffs haughtily, tugging at her skirt. “Divvy it up, won’t you?”

You do so, halving the pile so you each have equal, smaller - albeit still quite large, piles.

Alisaie is quick to read through letters, tossing aside those she deems ‘old, outdated’ or just simply ‘rubbish’.

You watch her in awe, struck by her swift reading ability. Her own pile quickly diminishing in size whilst your own stays its sizable mound.

You smile, tossing the open letter in your hand to the discard pile, and then pluck another one from the unopened pile.

You look up as Alisaie makes an odd sound. Her eyes are focused on the letter in your hand as she blurts out, “That one for the rubbish pile!”

Ah, but.. “I haven’t read it yet?” You break the seal on the letter, unfolding the pages inside and then blink in surprise at the familiar hand written across the pages.

It… was a love letter?

A love letter that falls from your hands as Alisaie literally tackles you.

Your breath leaves you in a startled huff, your hands settling on Alisaie’s waist as she reaches over you and snatches the letter up.

“Rubbish, absolute rubbish!” She says feverishly, tearing up the letter with extreme prejudice. Her face is red.

You blink up at her, squeezing her waist gently. “Alisaie,” You murmur to her softly. “Did you write that?”

Alisaie is breathing hard, shredded parchment scattering about like confetti as she frowns with clear embarrassment.

“You were never supposed to know! I don’t know how that got there! I never sent it!” She says miserably, her voice choking with emotion. You feel your heart in your throat as her eyes begin to well with tears.

“Just… just don’t say anything, all right?” Alisaie closes her eyes, rubbing at her eyelashes with the back of her wrists, some bits of parchment still clutched in her fisted hands. “I know it’ll never happen. I know I’m not your favorite!”

You give an incredulous sigh, shaking your head. “Alisaie, you do yourself a great disservice.” How could she possibly think so little of herself?

Alisaie sniffs wetly. “How so?”

You smile, sitting up with her still on top of you, sending her sprawling into your lap as you catch her with your hands.

“I was trying very hard not to play favorites, but…”

Alisaie is wide eyed as you lean in, a startled, breathy, “what,” leaving her lips as you lower your face to hers.

You kiss her. Only a chaste brushing of lips, but Alisaie looks at you like you’ve flipped her whole world.

“But…?” Alisaie squeaks.

You sigh. “Do I have to kiss you again?”

Alisaie is terribly charming all red cheeked. “Yes,” She says, biting at her lip. “I’m your favorite?”

You kiss her, soft and sweet. Warmed by the way Alisaie melts into you.

She looks all kinds of smug when you lean away again.

“I’m your favorite!” She’s positively gleeful.

You smile at her. “Planning to brag?”

Alisaie cups your face, blue eyes sparkling at you. She is so adorable.

“Can I?”

You laugh. “If it pleases you. Will you tell me what the rest of the letter said?” You had only been able to skim bits of that first page, but there had been at least three.

Alisaie grins. “Never.”

You shrug. “Fair enough.”

You’ll convince her eventually. You were nothing if not persistent.

- - -

Cirina

Cirina gives a soft gasp at the amount of letters that pile onto the green grass.

“There are so many… Of course, you are such a warrior that should be admired so!” Cirina says, gifting you with that gentle smile of hers.

You sit yourself next to her, pulling a pile towards you to start sifting through. “Thank you for offering to help. I never would have gotten far on my own.”

Cirina gives a breathy giggle. “How funny a picture for the khagan to be bested by simple letters when they triumphed so impressively in the Nadaam!”

You smile, charmed by her elegant mannerisms. “I am glad that you find such amusing.”

Cirina smiles behind her hand, pretty eyes curving with her humor. “Forgive me, my friend. Offense was not meant, truly.”

You shake your head, leaning against her in friendly contact. “It’s alright. I like the sound of your laugh, no matter if you laugh at me or no.”

Cirina dips her head, fair cheeks flushing. “Oh,” She murmurs, peeking at you through her lashes. “Thank you.”

You blink. Oh.

Cirina smiles, covering your hand with hers. Stroking over your hand with soft fingertips. “It is my pleasure to assist you however I am able, my friend.”

You duck your head, slotting your fingers through hers.

Cirina smiles, squeezing your hand and then pulling away to gather up a bundle of letters to place in your lap.

“Let us begin, shall we?”

- - -

Eula van darnus

Eula regards you lazily, cross-legged with her cheek propped up by her closed fist, elbow resting on her knee.

“You simply cannot stay away, can you?” She purrs, eyes blinking languidly as she gazes at you with the hunger of a predator.

You cock your head to the side, shrugging. “I would, but…” You hold up a stack of letters, all opened. “You keep sending me these sweet little love notes. How can I possibly ignore you?”

Eula tilts her head, blinking slowly. Then, her head tips back, long hair swishing wish her low, throaty laugh. “Love notes?” She cackles madly. “You are funny!”

You grin, plopping down in front of her. Eyeing the shackles on her wrists. “Haven’t broken these ones yet?”

Eula smirks wickedly. “I thought I’d wait. You do so love to tie me up, do you not? Does the sight of me in chains excite you?”

You roll your eyes. “Do you flirt with everyone who visits, or am I just special?”

Eula’s smile drops. “Special indeed. None but you are worth my time, hero.”

- - -

Fordola

Fordola is confused by you. Fordola is usually confused by you, of course.

“I do not understand why you’ve come to me with this,” She mutters. “Do you not have so many friends who would gladly assist you in my stead?”

You shrug easily, dumping a pile of letters between you. “I thought you could use a distraction. And this gave me an excuse to spend a little time in your company.”

Fordola eyes you warily, still unnerved by the fact that you sought her out instead of avoiding her as all others did.

“You are strange,” She says with that perpetual frown. Her eyebrows so constantly furrowed that you are almost certain they’ll get stuck like that.

You smile at her, pushing a pile of letters towards her. “Ready for a bit of light reading?” You joke.

Fordola blinks, and - aha! There! - you see her lip twitch in the barest hint of a smile. “You call this light?”

You grin. “I thought I’d go easy on you for the first pile.”

Fordola’s eyes widen. “There’s more?”

You laugh, “This isn’t even the half of it!”

Fordola crosses her arms. Sharp eyes narrowing. “Am I to be compensated for this then?”

You tilt your head. “Sure,” You agree easily. “What did you have in mind?”

Fordola eyes you, considering. Finally saying after a pause, “…Those provisions you brought last time.”

Snacks, more like. They had mostly been rare treats. Fordola had liked the savory ones. Or mayhap had noticed your preference for the sweeter ones.

You nod along whilst inwardly smiling. “Did you like those? I can bring more.”

Fordola nods. “Acceptable.” And reaches for her first letter.

You do the same, watching her rip open the envelope with a swipe of her finger under the flap.

“Fordola?”

She looks up at you.

You smile at her. “Thank you.”

…

“You’re welcome.”

- - -

Hilda

You look up as Hilda snorts.

“This one is bloody funny, luv!” Hilda chuckles, waving the letter in her hand. “O mine Warrior o’ Light,” Hilda sighs in a breathy voice. “How terribly do I miss yer lovely visage! Your impressive figure! Ah, how it keeps me up at night, jus’ thinkin’ of you!” Hilda tips her head back in a cackling laugh.

Hilda dances away as you try to snatch it from her, those ruby eyes twinkling at you devilishly. Her lips curve, wicked and impish. “Oi, I ain’t finished, darlin’!”

Hilda lets out a huff as you tackle her back into a pile of letters. You reach up, snatching the letter from the air as it falls from her fingers.

You blink down at it, frowning in confusion. “…It doesn’t say that at all?”

You yelp as Hilda traps you between her thighs, rolling you under her. “Well, lookie here,” Hilda drawls, leaning over you with hungry smile. Her hands forcing yours to the ground, shackling your wrists. “I caught meself a Warrior o’ Light!”

Hilda bites her lip, eyeing you like she was thoughtful. “Now jus’ wha’ should I do with ye?”

You flush. “Kiss me? I hope it’s kiss me.”

Hilda flashes her teeth in a sharp little grin. “Aye, a fine idea, that.” And lowers her lips to yours.

- - -

Minfilia

You flop back into a pile of letters, heaving a frustrated sigh. You swish your arms and legs, displacing letters with your motions, and then flipping over on your your belly to groan low in the mound of envelopes.

A soft laugh reaches you then, and you glance up to spy Minfilia looking down at you with a fond smile curling her lips.

She kneels down in front of you, reaching out to stroke a gloved hand over your head. “How about a break, hm?” She says, blue eyes crinkling with her smile.

You nod tiredly. “I am hungry.”

Minfilia grasps your hands, slotting her fingers between your own. Her head dipping down to peck at the corner of your mouth in the barest of a kiss. “I knew you would be. You’ve been at it for a few bells now. Let us both take a rest, and then we shall return to face the problem together.”

You perk up. “Really? You’re not too busy?”

Minfilia nuzzles her nose against yours. “I have finished mine own work. You needn’t trouble yourself overmuch, my love.”

You pull yourself up with a sigh, curling your arms around her waist in a satisfying hug. Resting your face against her shoulder as you breathe in her sweet smell. “You’re so nice!”

Minfilia laughs. “I should hope you think me thus. Come, come. Let us table this for now, and feed our hungry bellies!”

- - -

Lyse

Lyse rolls around in her own pile of letters, watching you read with a bored look on her face. “I would be concerned for you were you not so capable. Some of these letters come across rather…” She makes a face, “Creepy.”

You nod with an agreeing grimace. Some people took it to a whole new level. Which is why the both of you wear gloves to open these. Who knows what some of these envelopes were coated in?

You look up from your letter as Lyse crawls over her pile of letters to flop into you lap. You huff an amused sigh, patting at her hair as she buries her face against your leg and groans.

“Are we done yet? Can you not simply hand the task off? Alphinaud likes to read, does he not?”

You laugh. “Are you simply trying to shirk responsibility, or are you jealous?”

Lyse turns over on her back, cheeks flushed. “Maybe a little bit of both? I do not like the idea that there are so many out there with these feelings for you.”

You smile down at her, brushing the bangs from her brow as you lean forward to kiss her.

Lyse sighs sweetly, her fingers dragging over your face in the softest of a caress.

You lean back, making a face. “You just touched me with your gloves.”

Lyse laughs. “Sorry!”

- - -

Tataru & Krile

You are distracted from your own reading just watching the two lalafell ladies assisting you. Their easy banter, the laughter and smiles, and how swift they sifted through the pile of letters between you.

“Keep in mind we’ve come to help you,” Krile says teasingly, “Not do all the work for you.”

Tataru smiles, “Twould seem we are winning the race, Lady Krile.”

Krile laughs as she tears open another letter. “I do not blame them for becoming distracted so.” She throws an arm around Tataru, squeezing at the pink haired lalafell as she winks at you. “We are a sight to behold, after all! Beauty and brains!”

Tatatu giggles, touching a gentle hand to Krile’s coat. “Yes, yes. Keep busy, will you? These letters will not read themselves!”

You nod, smiling at the both of them as you resume your work with a smile on your face.

- - -

Y'shtola

Another letter flicked from Y'shtola’s fingers to land in the discard pile. “Another, please.”

You hum, reaching over without looking to hand her another one. Resting comfortably with your head and shoulders in her lap as you read through your own letters.

Y'shtola driving you to almost dozing levels of relaxation with her nails scratching so very gently over your scalp.

“Hm.” Another tossed aside. You hand her another letter wordlessly. Y'shtola rewards you with more affectionate petting, her tail flickering by your cheek. You turn your head with a smile to peck a kiss at the teasing appendage. A breathy sound of amusement through your nose as Y'shtola bops you on the nose with her tail.

“Do not become distracted, dear.” Y'shtola says with mild reproach.

You look up at her with a pout. “But you’re so wonderfully distracting?”

Y'shtola’s eyes shift in your direction, her lips quirking up in a smile. Ears swiveling in the direction of your voice.

“The sooner we finish, the sooner we may proceed to more enjoyable activities.”

You smile, rolling your eyes. “Oh, all right.”

Y'shtola tickles your cheek with playful flicks of her tail. “I knew you would see it my way.”

You stroke your fingers over the silken fur of her tail. "Don’t I always?“

#ladyramora writes #I did as many as I could #but I was losing steam #so I cut it off at Y'shtola #Waifus #Alisaie #Cirina #Fordola #Hilda #minfilia warde #Lyse #Tataru #Krile #Y'shtola #romance #kissing #Eula darnus

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dustybunny · 6 years

Text

ramble bramble

So I know people have already said this before and stuff but I kinda wanted to put in my quarter and see what happens lol

OH before you keep reading, I’m on mobile as I write this and cannot add a read more break so!! IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED/ARE DODGING SPOILERS FOR EPISODE IGNIS IM SO SORRY I CANT HIDE THEM AT THE MOMENT////

I’ll be tagging this as well so please don’t get mad at me ; ~ ;

So here we go!

After thinking about it and comparing the bros dlcs it’s more then blatantly obvious that Gladio got jipped. Ok yea fighting and beating a giant one armed samurai dude to prove your worth was pretty cool, but it feels like there should’ve been more.

Prompto was able to not only come to terms with being a clone, but also start becoming independent and not so needing of the others just to prove himself.

Ignis bends over backwards to save the one person he cares about the most, not because it’s his job, but because he’s his brother. And not only that, but insuring he won’t lose him to some shitty god logic.

But then there’s Gladio— undergoing a trial to prove his worthiness of being a Shield despite facing death as the moderately high likely outcome if he fails. That’s it.

With the other two bro dlcs, they’re structured around the respective bro, with both also being a way to work on something in the future. Kinda like a emotional bankrupting gaming experience of a Dr Phil episode, but somehow worse. (I’m still crying please send help)

So with that in mind, Episode Gladio is seemingly out of place and not quite the same quality as the others. You could argue the later dlcs were merely buffed up in an attempt to win back the players and fan base.

But what if that’s exactly how it was supposed to be...?

Quickly, I re-evaluated Gladio’s character— strong, intelligent resourceful guy who is a survivalist and is pretty headstrong. He tends to analyze, and seeming to be lacking in empathy in certain events (cue the train scene) Moreover, he is the King’s sworn Shield, a job he trained for his whole life and takes very seriously.

And that last part makes his episode make that much more sense. While temporarily, he leaves the group to prove himself after being ragdolled by Ravus. Not only does he succeed, but also is able to retrieve the sword Cor lost when he attempted the trials.

It makes sense... but still feels off.

Let’s fast forward a bit.

During Episode Ignis, if you play along with Ardyn and risk your life to defeat him, the trash man leaves, thanking his immortality and lovingly telling Ignis he’s gonna die while Noctis finds him. Thankfully the group does and just in time, but one thing about the scene just ripped my heart out.

Gladio, in an attempt to hold back tears, watching over a tired and fading Ignis, gives a ferocious, emotional roar, “What were you thinking?!!”

Granted I was already sobbing my eyes out and was also exhausted from trying to make Swiss cheese out of the resident garbage lord numerous times, I seriously cannot tell you how badly that one line wrecked me.

And then it suddenly got me thinking.

Just how often does Gladio allow himself to be himself?

To review, Gladio spent his whole life training to protect a future king. He descends from a heavily militarized background, and for gods sake his own father fought in a war alongside his king to help bring peace. He’s got a pair of ginormous shoes he has to fill.

So when the bros are faced with difficult decisions, what does Gladio do?

Exactly what he tells Noctis on the way to commune with Titan.

His job. There’s not much else he knows.

It’s that one line during Episode Ignis that solidified it for me—

Gladiolus Amicitia, sworn Shield to Chosen King Noctis, is shit for luck at his own emotional control.

During the whole game, Gladio doesn’t break. Won’t even allow himself to. He’s constantly working, putting all his years of training into overdrive, trying to do what he spent his entire life on.

Everyone else in the group breaks at least a little. Even Ignis, when he has to tell Noctis what’s happened to Insomnia at the beginning of the game, is clearly heartbroken and not his normal sturdy self.

But Gladio doesn’t. Not in the way everyone else does.

His breaks are seldom, and sometimes really hard to pick up on when you aren’t looking for them.

His general hatred toward Niflheim, his snaps at Noctis during the Titan climb and on the train, his sudden distress when separated from the prince in the keep after defeating the daemon that ambushed him and his recently blinded friend. His line when he finds a nearly dead Ignis.

The only thing he seems to do for selfish reason is fighting. Hunting and taking down daemons, MTs, whatever. It’s the only way for him to release his emotions, turning it all into rage to destroy whatever he’s in front of that’s trying to kill him or his king.

It’s his only way to cope with what the fuck is going on.

His dad is murdered, his home destroyed, everything he knew turned on its head. And he doesn’t even flinch. Just keeps going, pushing onwards, focusing on being a worthy Shield. Analyzing and tactically moving forward. It’s what he knows. Buries everything else, even his own emotions to march on.

It what he has to do. It’s what he was trained for.

Gladio reacting to Noctis grieving Luna’s death was a mix of trying to do the thinking for the prince and himself. He couldn’t let his own building pain beat him. So he did his job. Keep moving forward. It’s when he lashes out that he breaks, and quickly tries to catch himself, choking down his feelings to keep going.

Keep. Fucking. Going.

That’s why Episode Gladiolus is so different. Instead of conquering some inner demon, he’s focused on the trial. To prove himself as a Shield. Swallowing down and shoving away his emotions, refusing to let them even touch the surface. It’s not that he couldn’t win, but rather forces himself to bury it away. Focus on the job. The only thing he’s known his whole life.

As much as I love all the boys, Gladio is by far the one I worry about the most. In future dlcs, I’m scared to see what’ll happen to him. If one focuses on him again, what are we gonna see? If it’s in the ten year skip, will we finally see him snap? All that time, bottling up everything, will he finally let it burst?

Ughh as much as I love this game it makes me think so much about all the poor kids involved in it # ~ #

And tbh I just want gladio to be happy. Lemme spoil me good boi, god damn it. There’s a very good reason I have an embarrassing surplus of ramen on my game and it’s so I can at least make my poor tol a little happy.

Hhhhh but that’s all my thoughts ;w;

Hopefully it makes sense. Mobile app is making it dangerously hard to revise and review //orz

And if you got this far, thank you for reading !! ;w;<33

hope you have a lovely day !! <33

#gladiolus amicitia #final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #ffxv #ff15 #episode ignis #episode ignis spoilers #dusty thoughts #hhhh

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mikeshanlon · 4 years

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goddd I cannot believe u have read iwwv u don't know me but for some reason we watch like.. the same shows and now books lol. anyway can I ask what were ur thoughts on the ending? like to me at least it was onvious Oliver had not done it and he wasn't gonna pull a unreliable narrator last minute (despite being an unreliable narrator) I'm talking abt the whole uhh James is a**** thing.. like what HAPPENS NEXT? is he w wren? also I feel so bad for meredith like girl love urself.. sry 4 the essay

omg yes taste!!!! Also no I’m dying to talk abt this novel so don’t apologize if anything im sorry bc I wrote way too much answering ur question LGRNLRGN

IF WE WERE VILLIANS SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT go read it if u haven’t it’s legendaric

Okay the ending!!!! AH!!!! Okay yeah so I think it’s clear Oliver did not do it, I think the ambiguity lies more whether or not James intentionally killed Richard or if it was an accident. Like, did he see Richard stumbling out in the woods hella intoxicated and think to himself that this was the perfect opportunity to get revenge for all the abuse and torture Richard had been terrorizing him with??? Did he lie to Oliver? Personally, I believe James that it was an accident… of sorts. I don’t think James set out with the intention to kill Richard at all. But Richard was goading him and fighting him and after the buildup of cruelty and tension between them over the past few months, Richard be a homophobic dick and calling James and Oliver qu*er and prodding at the most important relationship in James’ life struck a nerve. So when Richard wanted to keep fighting and hurt him again he was like fuck this and he hit Richard too hard with the hook and that in tandem with Richard being drunk caused Richard to fall and die. And, like the others, James felt awful but there was a sort of sick sense of relief.

(Also, I’m not exactly sure Oliver counts as an Unreliable Narrator. I mean he is certainly keeping some things from that detective guy but, and I was reading something from M.L. Rio about this, like he’s literally just oblivious and dumb as fuck sometimes LKGNLRGLKNRG. So idk how often he’s intentionally Unreliable but I also get what you mean)

Anyways I’m totally a believer that James is alive bc despite enjoying dark stories im like okay but I need a happy ending LGKNLKRGlkenlgneg. Like c’mon they never found the body……….. A metaphorical death and shedding of his past life bc he blames himself for Oliver taking the fall is like the MOST tragic hero Shakespearean shit ever like it just works so well!!!!!! The part where Oliver describes the last time James visited him in jail…

“Oliver I’m begging you,” he said. “I can’t do this anymore.” When I refused again, he pulled my hand across the table, kissed it, and turned to leave. I asked where he was going and he said, “Hell. Del Norte. Nowhere. I don’t know.” (343).

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd. God. Anyways I think that was very telling of his plans. Hell (for “committing suicide”, moreso for all of his wrong doings). Del Norte is the beach that him and Oliver slept on that one night and so I feel like that place holds a lot of significance for them, but it’s a place only those two know the significance of. So, I like to think he ran away there and started a new life. He wrote that letter with the disjointed Pericles monologue I think to hint to Oliver that he was at Del Norte, if he wanted to find him, because even though his “death” was a self-punishment for ruining Oliver’s life, he still cares for him a lot and doesn’t want to be without him. Like a whole monologue about the sea????????? The fact that he literally said the monologue to Oliver while they were at Del Norte?? “To give my tongue that heat to ask your help; / Which if you shall refuse, when I am dead, / For that I am a man, pray see me buried.” LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAT god !!!! Also water is gay<3 and in my heart Oliver goes and finds him and they like work through shit and are together.

Anyways I don’t really think he’s with Wren. Their relationship during senior year was always sort of ambiguous to me…. Like they definitely got super close, they probably were romantically involved in some capacity (since other characters like Alexander who is much more perceptive were like Oliver how did it take you this long to notice LRGNRGNK) though idk if it was like the Encompassing Love Affair Oliver thought it to be bc he’s oblivious and jealous. And also like James was very much enamored with Oliver so idk. (EDIT i just remembered they slept together LMAO but i think my point still stands) In the epilogue Wren is in London and is a recluse and doesn’t reach out to any of the Villains which like. Good for her LRGNRLG even though I hated Richard I can’t imagine like how much of a toll that took on her to see her cousin die and all their friends be like uh yeah we should let him die and then have to keep up a lie like… even though she agreed Richard was awful that has to be so heart wrenching (badumtss) and life ruining. So I think she especially wouldn’t want to be with James seeing as he essentially led Richard to fall into the lake, though I’m not sure if she knows that or not.

And Meredith!!!! Like I’ll be real sometimes she frustrates me but I think she’s also SUCH an interesting and realistic character (which is something I love about this novel, all the characters are interesting to me and I like how the female characters are portrayed.... like i LOVE Fillipa she is such a bad ass bitch but again she’s not just like. Expected to always be strong and clever like she’s got feelings too. Anyways love her). As I said before I was perusing through the author’s tumblr a bit and ppl were like “omg why did Meredith go through all the male friends” like BYEEE literally feeding into the stereotypes that made her feel insecure and weak… (Also again, they’ve known each other for four years… so its not that insane lmao). I think Meredith’s relationship with her sexuality and beauty is very interesting and relatable for a lot of women (I mean I am not. Like a seductive femme fatale like she is but LGKNKRGN). On one hand she is definitely a multifaceted person who is more than her sexuality, on the other, she’s constantly Literally Cast by Gwendolyn in sexualized roles and seen as sexualized by her friends/bf (Richard) and constantly told her worth in and out of the theatre is her body. Like there is an interesting duality about the power she possesses with her sexuality but also the extreme insecurity that is bred by being constantly sexualized and this struggle of like knowing she has worth outside of her body but also sort of … not in the eyes of others. That scene where they’re doing those exercises of their strengths and weaknesses really Hit. Anyways yes Meredith love urself queen… get a hot respectful gf… become a powerful successful legend…..

Related-ish sidenote, obviously I like James and Oliver together the most though I will say Meredith and Oliver’s relationship was interesting though ultimately unhealthy…. Like one of the aspects I like about their relationship is Oliver respects Meredith and when he realizes he is falling into that idea that Meredith is this super sexualized person he’s like hold awn that’s shitty of me… But also I think the fact of the matter is that their relationship was catalyzed by shitty stuff,,, like lust and the need for revenge. Like I honestly don’t really think they would’ve gotten together if not for the extreme animosity with Richard and the adrenaline of like that whole show run and more particularly That Night…. It feels like they got together because they were drunk and they’re attractive, which like yeah fine valid, but also, subconsciously, to be like fuck you Richard. Like, guess what I’m with the guy who you’re constantly saying doesn’t matter. And also seeking comfort and validation when their most important people are not valuing them (Richard being literally fucking awful to Meredith, James sort of pushing Oliver away—again I think subconsciously was sort of a revenge jealousy type thing where Oliver is with the person that James doesn’t really like and makes not amazing comments about being promiscuous). And then their relationship I think keeps going because like. Wow grief is a bitch and they want some comfort. Meredith is drawn to Oliver because he’s one of the only people who values her for more than just a sexual object which like is What She Deserves but their relationship is like a mess of sex and guilt and Oliver is in love with James (the parts where Meredith drags Oliver for caring more about James… iconic as she should! Like when Oliver is like sorry James is visiting me I’m not coming or when she’s like are you more jealous of him or me when they kissed for that scene….. OOP!). Anyways idk if that makes sense but I find Oliver and Meredith’s relationship interesting bc it’s not like… the worst unhealthy relationship ever or anything and I think there is genuine care and love/attraction there between them but like Oliver is never going to totally Be What Meredith deserves especially because like… he loves James more. Also the part where Meredith slaps Oliver when he gets out of jail and he’s like yeah I deserve that is so GLKNRglkenrgnrg to me.

Anyways I probably have more thots but wow. This is long. Sorry LGRNLKRGNng

#if we were villains #books #anon #ask #okay i edited something and idk why tumblr glitched the fuck out at least on my dash but i added the read more again...#tumblr is a broken hellscape <3

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capracornia · 7 years

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◌ MYSTIC MESSENGER: ANOTHER STORY OPENING ANALYSIS ◌ I’m a bit bored, so I’m going to just kind of analyze the intro for V’s route, because I l o v e these characters holy fuck. ◌ NOT! SPOILER! FREE! FOR ANY ROUTE! ◌ Line by line~ ◌ “In search of a shining ray” this is our opening image: a sunset silhouette of V. It’s beautiful, like him, but it’s also obscure. The lyrics mention him ‘searching’ for a shining ray, such as sunlight. Sun? Rika. He’s searching for Rika– but he’s also searching for his own ‘ray’, his independence and happiness. ◌ “Daffodil swaying beneath the blaze”. Daffodils are a big deal. Heck, it’s even the silhouette with the sky in the first image behind V. It’s repeated like a mantra that they mean self love– and that’s the purpose of V’s route. It isn’t liberation from Rika, or revenged, or justice to Searan. It’s about making V realize his own worth, and learning to love himself and others simultaneously. ◌ “Trying to bloom with all its might” isn’t it curious that Rika’s silhouette pops up? Like V, she’s an obscure character in the beginning of the game. You don’t actually know who she is, only that she founded RFA. Contrasting V’s light background, hers is dark but still beautiful. This is a very big nod towards the focus of their soliloquies– how V’s love is a blinding, relentless light, and how Rika’s darkness is something she is not afraid of, but embraces. They flourish in these environments, and die in the other’s, no matter how hard she tries to “bloom”, she’s unable to. ◌ “It pulls in all its heart” this could have two meanings, whether due to translation or I’m not understanding. Since before it was talking about blooming, it could mean it’s trying to pull apart and unveil itself, the “beautiful” part of the flower. She’s trying to open up to others. She’s trying to be this “beautiful” she doesn’t feel she is, and it’s taking all her strength. On the other hand, it could mean she’s pulling her heart, her emotions, inwards, in order to protect herself. ◌ “This, a song of dreams sweetly sung” the this they’re referring to is, of course, the game. The story. Dreams are often light, fluffy, and kind. That’s what we expected from the game (so hOW DARE YOU CHERITZ). ◌ “This, a song of memory lonely sought” It’s interesting that Zen and Jumin are the two present during this line. They’re presented as having nothing in common, being total opposites– hell, they even stand on opposite positions on the screen (Jumin left, Zen right, despite that probably being for positioning purposes) but at the same time, they share something fundamental to their characters: loneliness, just as they share the “light” background. Aside from Seven (who oh boy we’ll get into), they’re probably the loneliness in the game, but in completely different ways. Jumin’s surrounded by family, coworkers, and people who would kiss his shoes at the drop of a hat because of his wealth. But he’s lonely. He projects his feelings that are unrequited onto Elizabeth 3rd. He hates women because of his father, and hadn’t even thought about dating or befriending any. He only had V and Rika, one who left, and the other who seemed to pile up secrets. If it weren’t for all Seayoung’s backstory, he’s probably the loneliest of the RFA. Zen didn’t grow up surrounded by people. He ran away as a kid: no longer have parents actively in his life. He debuted as an actor when he was 16: he’s constantly switching stages, theaters, roles. Acting doesn’t let you make many friends, coworkers changing according to your scene and persona. I bet he didn’t have a real friend until Rika came along. Even though he’s egoistic and acts like he’s got everything perfect, he’s a lonely character. ◌ “Into the light the flower may flourish” Jaehee are also complete opposites. Trend much, Cheritz? Jaehee’s a relentless worker, strict, closed off, but kind. Yoosung’s a bit of a slacker, laid back, heart-on-sleeve, but can’t handle his emotions much better than a child can. These two have the most to learn. Not academically of course, they’re both smart. Jaehee’s step “into the light” for her to “flourish” is learning to treasure herself, socialize herself, and open up to others. To follow what she wants in life rather than what the deems is good enough (coughcoffeeshopcough). Yoosung’s flourishing comes with maturity, grief, and accepting that V is not perfect, but did try his best. Light also can mean truth. If they learnt the truth of everything that happened, would they flourish sooner? ◌ “It takes a push to make me perish” I’VE GOT A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE. This has the Choi twins as our image, in their light/dark contrasting scheme, and notice something interesting about their positions (which I talked about w/ Jumin and Zen). They’re both in the middle, and they’re both looking towards the right (at least in the screenshot). They’re the exact same person, only one was brought into the light, and the other left to die in the dark. As for the lyrics, ‘perish’ can be used both literally and figuratively. It takes only a push– one small action, to wipe these two off the grid of existence. They’re illegitimate children. Nobody is supposed to know they exist. Seayoung works for a hacking company, and as such, changes his identities all the time. Searan lives in the Kint Eye cult, and isn’t recognized as a person by the outside world. One slip up and ‘707’ could disappear forever. One push, and all Ray, Unknown, and Searan will be destroyed with the bomb. Emotionally, they’re the same too. They’ve suffered so much in their life, it wouldn’t be hard to destroy them emotionally. Abuse them, mistreat them, and control them. They only seek comfort, assurance, and love, something they don’t find themselves worthy of. In one word, you could break their hearts, and make them ‘perish’. ◌ “Shall there be light, do forgive me” Rika, who knows the light will “kill” her and her devil, sings this to V. She’s apologizing that it will happen inevitably if there is “light” from V’s love. Forgive her for the acts it will drive her to commit. Forgive her for her devil. Forgive her for who she is. ◌ “Even the act I feign to protect me” This shows her in her masquerade outfit. This “act” she puts on is the act of kindness. She becomes an incredibly kind person who cares about others and only wishes the best because, if she doesn’t, her “devil” will control her to do awful things. It’s protecting her from her devil– but, it also protects her from the world. We don’t think kidnapping and drugging people is excusable, no matter the reason– with good thought, too, and it’s a good thing our society frown upon that. If Rika didn’t put on her act of happiness and love and let that control her push for a better world, she’d have started Mint Eye far sooner, reciting criticism and hate from the public. ◌ “Shall there be hope, flower shall blossom” Let me take a wild guess and say these flowers are daffodils. If there is hope, then the daffodil can bloom. If there is mistrust and doubt, it will wither and die. Now replace dandelion with its meaning of self love. If there is hope and trust in V, he will blossom and become a better man who will love himself. If we don’t, he will crumble and end up destroying himself. ◌ “Even if surrendering my everything in whole” we get it V. You’re a martyr. Throughout about 99% of the story, you hear V talking about his willing to sacrifice himself in order to save MC. He repeatedly begs Rika to leave MC alone in exchange for whatever she wants from him. He will give every limb, leg, and more for the safety of those he loved. It’s been this way since Rika. He promised her he’d love her regardless of how evil she was, if she hurt him and took everything she had. ◌ “Love tenderly this daffodil.” Back to self love, this is very self explanatory. Give V love. Whoa– but why is Rika in the picture then? You have to love both of them for a good ending. You can’t blame Rika and become rude and aggressive towards her. Not only is your goal making V love himself, you have to try and convince Rika to lover herself by getting the help she needs. Loving these daffodils will bloom to the good ending you paid 300 hourglasses and 11 days of hell for. ◌ “The sun is the mother of all.” I like that this one’s silent. Like the words, it’s a message unheard in the game, but still is prominent. The sun is Rika, and Rika is this “mother of all”. The whole damn game revolves around her. No matter who’s route you’re playing, you’re bound to wind up in some freaky stuff that Rika pulls. The guaranteed one being that Searan leads you to the apartment. Like the sun, she provides the “life” of the game, but she is also burning and bright and beautiful and destructive. Completely unattainable, you can’t save both her the RFA. ◌ Ah!! That was so long. I was originally going to post this on Instagram but I ran out of space after like, image no. 2. I had to smush them together for spacing purposes~ I’ve seen analyses floating around for this intro before, but I had a lot to say on my own!

#v mystic messenger #mysticmessenger #mm #mysme #jaehee #Jaehee Kang #jumin #Jumin Han #seven #searan #seayoung #luciel #707 #jihyun kim #yoosung #zen #Rika

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mild-lunacy · 7 years

Text

Here be Dragons (and S4)

Soooo... my thoughts. Let me show you them.

So I’ve watched it, and my coconspirators were... less than impressed. I can only imagine what fandom’s like right now (noooo, don’t tell me.) Anyway, things out of the way: I enjoyed it. Quite a bit! Loooove the plot of TLD, some of the best stuff in any season. Wonderful mindfuckery. Awesome creepy villain. Devoted bab yet badass Sherlock. Great action scenes. A lot of Angst(tm). And (I’m sure) a lot of people reevaluating everything they ever knew-- about John, Mary, the Holmes brothers, possibly Sherlock, etc etc. Just as bad as we thought, eh? Except not in the way we thought... except I guess for Mary being Birdy-like. That’s definitely there... though I’m still not sure we’ve seen the whole story.

Anyway, TST:

Love the intro reel of case scenes and Sherlock acting like a brat at all times.

Was horrified (and pissed) when Sherlock told John he preferred Mary as partner. Seemed Wrong with a capital W, even if correct on its merits. That was Not A Good Sign. But then John eventually just accepts it and tells Mary to go first (even worse sign).

Jesus Christ, that John!balloon. Oh John. Yikes? Also wow.

Overall, pushing Mary into an investigating threesome was just so wrong and bad and painful. But necessary to demonstrate how good it... isn’t. Also, John wasn’t so happy with that, and the whole Sherlock+Mary investigations thing doesn’t really work ‘cause while Sherlock wants a partner, Mary... doesn’t. In fact she runs out of the country *just* to stop Sherlock from being her partner, more or less. And then he follows anyway. It was a bit cringey, honestly.

Anyway, AGRA = a whole team is a great surprise. Employment by Mycroft foreshadowed in TAB! (Look in TAB! TAB shall save you! Remember the waterfall scene!)

Thought the way they handled the unhappy marriage to be really interesting and subtle (splitting the Antichrist scene in half). John lying, etc (though... as we find out next ep, not all is as it seems! but from John’s pov, he really did want to cheat and he did, to some extent). So basically, they both didn’t want the baby, and John wasn’t any happier than he ever was. Established.

They did banter just a bit about Rosie’s evilness, but this was then contrasted with John using that opportunity (and any opportunity) to disconnect. The intimacy was a sham.

Do I think John’s lie and Mary’s lies were *equivalent*? No. Was it all All Mary’s Fault? Also no, clearly. Set up for guilt.

As I said, Sherlock was clearly way too obsessed with keeping the vow, which Mary didn’t even seem to want. Of course not. But very heroic of him. She doesn’t want Sherlock to save her, unlike the way Sherlock and John are. Saving someone is something one has to *want*. It can’t-- shouldn’t-- be forced. Another Not So Good Sign.

I love Sherlock fighting the guy in the water hardcore. I really wanted badass Sherlock, and got him. Take that, unbelievers! haha

Sherlock’s problem is his cockiness about his mental prowess. So... he makes the same mistake again! But this time he (finally) learns, as he tells Mrs Hudson about Norbury. But it’s too late... or is it?

I’m not as horrified at Mary’s Birdy-ness as some, I’m sure. It was always an option. This is consistent in terms of Moffat’s style, and insofar as I never thought Mary was like, Moriarty material in the first place. She’s just a rogue agent. And she quit because she wanted some peace and quiet. She also kinda misses her work and wishes Sherlock would stop ‘helping’ (I mean, she even shot him to prove that point, from her pov). This was always canon. It remained canon, more or less. Am I that disappointed? No. It just means there was a reason the surface narrative existed.

I was just happy Mary was dead. Finally! Finally! gaaaah.

Do I think Mary’s throwing herself in front of Sherlock worked? Yes and no.

Yes, because I can see it balancing. They had to get rid of that storyline somehow, and it *was* imbalanced. If she’s not gonna go full evil, then you need some kinda atonement. Amanda said early on she wanted to die in John’s arms. So far, so predictable.

No, because I’m still not sure *why* she did it. Like, okay, I believe she always liked Sherlock, and felt a bit sorry, but sacrificing yourself doesn’t seem like Mary’s... thing. So... jury’s still out. John’s response, ditto.

Amanda’s performance as Mary at the end and/or the writing was kinda iffy. I didn’t really find it believable, but it’s not a deal-breaker. I am kinda confused, though.

I *will* say that the growling and lashing out seemed over-the-top. More like rage than grief, so it’s not really comparable to Reichenbach. Saying he mourned ‘more’ isn’t as relevant as saying it’s just *different*. He made Mary’s death about Sherlock, even if in terms of fault. Somehow it was about Sherlock (even though he later acknowledges that it was Mary’s choice in TLD... indirectly confirming that he’s irrational). Seems silly to really compare. The response is pretty different, and completely irrational. He thinks Sherlock’s literally superhuman, and that belief has finally come home to bite both John and Sherlock on the ass, big time.

*Given* that’s what John believes, though, his later avoidance and extreme (apparently semi-psychotic?? or otherwise facilitated?) break makes sense. As for Mary and Mrs Hudson and Molly all acting as go-betweens, that’s par for the course (same for Irene... the women are always the conduits, and so Mary serves that function even unto death).

There’s a plot thing going on. I dunno *what* plot thing, but some things are not as they seem, and I cannot tell you what I think of John’s behavior without knowing what mindfuck we’re dealing with. Speaking of Moffat’s style, the one thing I feel sure of is that ‘our’ John’s devoted to Sherlock. That is a central truth, and I mean outside of the canon Johnlock thing. Still, I can see John breaking because of guilt and rage and just... everything, and needing to be saved. I can also see Mary predicting this, and knowing that John can always be counted upon to help, to save Sherlock Holmes. She was there at the wedding speech. And it’s true that John wouldn’t accept help. So... John hits rock bottom, loses himself, starts hallucinating (as does Sherlock-- but Sherlock does drugs). We don’t really know what John does. But I believe he acts the way he does for a reason, and even the hallucination thing must have a reason, especially in an ep where there’s lots of mind-altering drugs floating around and reality’s not super firm.

So I’m not super certain what Really Happened. I wouldn’t go so far as to say TLD wasn’t ‘real’. I think the plot happened. I just think we don’t know *everything* and things are deceiving. I also think that the waterfall scene (’there’s always two of us’) is gospel in terms of representing the center of how Moffat and Gatiss think. So the fact that it’s both threatened and highlighted in TLD-- John needs to save Sherlock, Sherlock needs to save John, but neither quite succeeds-- should tell you that we’re not supposed to be satisfied. It’s quite obvious Sherlock didn’t save John-- John’s life is literally more in danger than ever before at the end of TLD. And John says he didn’t want to save Sherlock till Mary pushed him-- though Mary’s repeatedly said to be a part of his mind. A part that teases him about Sherlock, while John represses and avoids. John doesn’t think he’s Sherlock’s John-- but (as we saw with hard proof when Sherlock predicts his behavior early on), Sherlock demonstrably *knows* him. John doesn’t even think he’s Mary’s John-- he thinks Mary idealized him, and he’s not ‘that man’. So he’s lost all faith and doesn’t know who/what to believe. But again, neither do we-- we’re right where John is. My coconspirators have also lost faith, and don’t know what to believe anymore, along with John.

Something’s going on with the hallucinations, whether Sherrinford or Mary. But there’s got to be an explanation. Like for example, how is the paper real? Why did Sherrinford know all that stuff (or did she)? How did Sherlock seem to know about Mary, the specter at the wedding, so to speak? I don’t know, but I want to. Something really weird is going on.

The one thing I do know, the one thing I cannot doubt, is that John Watson always saves Sherlock Holmes (and vice versa). One suggests the other, as TLD states explicitly. So if they’re making us question it, they’ve definitely got something up their sleeve, as I said. This isn’t about canon Johnlock; John and Sherlock’s devotion is at the heart of their partnership. TAB is a great foreshadowing and/or set-up in that regard. We know that when John acted callous and uncaring at the grave site, this wasn’t the real John. That was only two eps ago. So... yeah.

More thoughts on TLD:

What a mindfuck! It’s glorious. So tight, so well-plotted. Just really wonderful. The whole critique that begs itself is that John’s not John-like, but then you have TAB and that cliffhanger. So... to be continued.

The whole set-up of the confession that’s set up to be forgotten is really ingenious. The cereal killer stuff is amazing. They just had so much fun with the plotting here, and it shows. My fave villain besides Moriarty. Genuinely creepy and fun. Both traumatizing and fun in the old-school evil sense. It’s great.

The way Mrs Hudson shows up with Sherlock in tow, her having that crazy car and owning property in central London, Sherlock predicting everything John does (including Molly) two weeks away... Jesus. That was amazing. Mrs. Hudson is amazing.

I’m here to tell you I was immediately irritated by Sherrinford. Yeah, even on the bus (seemed weirdly fake and pushy!) and then like, you know, that’s a weirdly fake and pushy psychologist, too. Acting a bit like TEH Mary, actually.

Everything’s a series of lies, no less than TAB, except the stakes are higher. Sherrinford’s a prime example of a character who’s constantly twisting and changing, like ripples in a pond. Really really well done. The initial scene at Baker Street with Sherlock was so great as characterization. ‘Fuck off’. ‘Bollocks’. Sherlock being pouty. It’s just so painful, too. God, that whole scene was killer, so painful it’s exquisite.

Poor Sherlock. Babs. :( He misses him so much. :(

Also, we were right! Take heart, we’re right about the things that count, and also: Mofftiss are liars. Sherrinford says Sherlock’s so nice, and then of course Mrs Hudson says Sherlock feels things, operates on feeling. I just. Wah. Also, Sherlock really is nice. I was really touched.

Sherlock being so willing to believe he just made up his meeting with Sherrinford, like... boy thinks he literally has magical powers, haha.

The joke (”joke”) about Sherlock and/or Mycroft dying in weeks also foreshadowed in TAB.

John beating up Sherlock at the morgue was brutal though. Jury’s still out on a lot of things, however. Some weird stuff was happening in that scene, ‘cause this is after that whole episode of losing it after thinking of Sherrinford, weird camerawork, time-skip forward to Lestrade and so on.

I know that a lot of things about surface HLV have been seemingly proven real... but even there, I’m not totally sure. This show is amazing. I do think we know that Sherlock somehow convinced himself he trusted Mary. We also never see John reject Mary to the degree he rejected Sherlock, in large part ‘cause Sherlock went out of his way to prevent that. Still, HLV didn’t have this much drugs floating around.

I kinda love the plot resolution, I have to say. The recorder in the cane is interesting tho. Was John in on it? Did Sherlock put it in afterwards? I dunno, don’t ask me, I just work here. I will say that Something is going on, and parts of the set-up (working partly with and partly without John) reminds me of TRF.

Here be Dragons: John and Sherlock’s conversation at Baker Street, and Sherrinford. We pretty much know nothing about Sherrinford except that this casts parts of John’s characterization/behavior in TST into doubt. He was obviously being manipulated, to some degree. To what degree, I don’t know.

The conversation is obviously yet more heterobaiting. *Is* it obvious? Well, it’s not usual. It’s the sort of thing we’ve seen before. Is it painful anyway? Yes.

Great to see Sherlock move to comfort John, though. He’s definitely progressed and grown a lot.

John’s whole thing about not being Mary’s John, his lost faith in himself, his insistence that Sherlock needs a woman... I just can’t take it at face value. Call me naive. The whole thing rings hollow. It’s not the whole story, certainly. Can I imagine John saying this at the end of his rope, though? I mean, he even cried. Very confused. (Funny how Sherlock sort of awkwardly tiptoed about the whole Irene thing). John’s clearly still breaking. Still unsaved. Go on, Sherlock. Save John Watson. It really is (almost certainly) the real Final Problem.

#sherlock spoilers #series 4 #pointless rambles #me myself and i #sherlock review

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