#idk . im. yearning hard dont look at me

[soundsofastar]

I think being between two robot girls would fix me

#idk . im. yearning hard dont look at me

[ri-a-rose]

So my little sister got engaged which I'm happy about and definitely not a tiny bit jealous

#she and her boyfriend have been dating for a couple of years so its exciting that he proposed #and like this is so selfish and petty but im jealous bc like im the oldest and it just idk #i feel like shes exceeding which is fine thats great im gglad for her that she has more ambition than me #but i just idk my cousin just got married and now my sister and i just feel lonely #she and b are gonna be high school sweethearts and ive literally never had a man look at me with interest #its petty af but both my sisters are prettier than me and have aspirations and goals and i just go to work and complain about shit #and the weddings not til may and my parents are already starting planning or whatever and #im a lump like im not going anywhere in life like have the dumbest goals #buy a house near my parents place so i visit them more often bc i cant take care of myself like a normal human person #im disabled but not really bc i can do things but only the bare minimum so my quality of life is not great unless my mom helps me with #cleaning and food bc im just really dumb and feel like a burden i mean m is in college with a good job and now engaged and j has plans and #a scholarship and will be working lots #meanwhile i complain about having to work 8 hours a day bc i used to work 4 hours and thats much nicer to my body like i didnt realise how #fucking lazy i am til i have to work more than 4 hours not really disabled just lazy and i complain to them about having to work i dont #know why they put up with my dumb ass i mean fuck its not hard to figure out why guys arent interested in me #i mean i want a person someone to like spend life with i yearn to love and be loved #theyre so cute doing lame cute couple things it makes my heart hurt #im done im done venting sorry #tbd #vent

[godfistgonnalive]

please ramble as hard as you can about pruita I need to hear what you have to say about them

grabs you by the shoulders very roughly.

ok. my favorite flavor of pruita is utterly unrequited. cuz its very funny to me. my fav thing to do is listen to music and think about unrequited pruita like L imagine 😹😹but also its kind of sad and i like how its sad but also funny

like think about the prussia cleaning game like omg.... he loves him.... its so silly.......

PRUSSIA STROKED IN HAPPINESS! WHAT THE FUCK! GAY!

and he literally was imaginging them like together on some sort of boat idk what its called like ugh

and the fucking BLOG. ive already posted these before but. my god.

he likes him so much....... its unbelievable........

like are you serious. he so very obviously has a crush on him THERES SO MUCH PROOF OF IT AND [im trying to restrain myself here from being salty about prucan shippers so i will stop myself here.]

ok im racking my brain to try and think of what to say rn cuz as much as i say i wanna talk about my ships i know deep down in my heart i dont have much to say that i can turn into coherent thoughts.

back to my thoughts and not canon content. unrequited pruita. like ok you know that hetalia itself is just gerita fanfiction. like i love gerita. who doesnt. and thats where it comes in in my version of pruita. like prussia is so in love with italy and italys like omggg germanyyyy :3 like. oh my gfod can i talk about the songs i associate with them. the answer is yes i cant be stopped.

ok puppy princess by hot freaks. fucking UGH. unrequited big fat crush ANTHEM right here.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. prussia is the goofy friend... prussia loves italy...... and italy loves germany........ my goodness.........

NO OTHER HEART BY MAC DEMARCO. THIS IS LITERALLY PRUITA.

i love gerita truth pruita so much but not in the love triangle way like i mean thats what it sounds like but its more like a fucked up triangle like

it doesnt connect all the way... cuz in love triangles dont they usually like compete!>>! like prussia loves italy but in my pruita brain he wouldnt like.. actually really try to get with italy while he knew that germany was trying to get with him.... you know.... he wouldnt do that to his brother..... so he just keeps his crush to himself.... rip.... and thats the fun of it ! ! ! he yearns but he'll never have him... love that

LOVERS ROCK. BY TV GIRL. THIS ONE LYRIC. JESUS CHRIST.

TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE. UGH.

AND LOOKING OUT FOR YOU BY JOY AGAIN. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS.

IM GONNA GO CRAZY!

and peach scone. by hobo johnson.

ltierally every time... prussia calls italy cute.... god......

now. onto requited pruita.

i think theyre silly cute so much so much :3 :3 :3 hold on gotta check pixiv so i can formulate thoughts. ok like i mostly think about prussia's side of things when it comes to required pruita but in my opinion prussia is CRAZY about that man. jesus christ. and italy thinks hes super silly and loves him 🫶🫶🫶 HOLD ON I SHOULD FILL OUT ONE OF THOSE UNDERSTAND NMY SHIP THINGS HOLD ONNNNNN

got a little lazy but you understand.

i think thats all i have to say . i feel like i didnt really say much just put images and then said something along the lines of "jesus christ" or "what the fuck" but i think you undestand. thank you for asking. PEACE AND LOVE!

ALSO WAIT I HAVE MORE. i LOVE gerita marriage. they are so married. and i love thinking about prussia watching the boy hes had a big fat crush on for god knows how long get married to his brother. LMAO! and hes like crying like hes happy for his brother,... but oh man........ LMAOOOOO

i love prussia so much. make him suffer now

ok thanks for reading :heart:

edit:i just realized onm the height thing onm the ship chart i forgot to put 6 CM and instead put 6 M. oops

#pruita #hetalia #owls nonsense #IM INSANEEE IM INSANEEEEEE

[myumyuriko]

im gonna write this as fast as i can so i don't get all embarrassed

Warning(?) : clingy reader, water sex or idk (ur in a bath.. so..) blood mentions, separation anxiety!! (probably not vanilla sex so) afab anatomy :( ill try to write a amab if requested after this!!

It was another of those nights, john hasnt came home yet. God knows what the man is up to, but you kept worrying even if it was normal for him. He loves you dearly, but he wants to hide you from the world and keep you for his eyes only. At the start, you thought it was odd, but once you learned more about him you understood. You had to, if you wanted to see him at all.

It's been so long since you had a bath, you've forgotten what it felt like to just relax

"Ah, it feels so nice to just be in a nice clean house again" you had thought, after been in hiding for so long after johns last mission. The target managed to find your house, yet didnt catch you due to your training your lover put you through. You know he means well, he didnt want to lose you.

As you listened to music over the speaker you werent able to hear the door unlock, not knowing who it was your guard was still down. You missed him, awfully. You'd do anything to see him again. Anything.

"Y/N? Is that you? " you heard muffled through the door. Guessing you knew it was john, it could only be him. If anyone knew of you god knows what would happen to them when he, john found out.

"Ah! Yes! In the bath" you giggled

So many thoughts rushes into his head when he heard about that, impatiently wanting, yearning to see you yet keeping his pace under control

You heard the door open only to see the blood covered man's face soften when he saw your body, your plush, squishy yet cute body.

"Don't just stare my love, you can get in.. If you want to!! I know you just came back"

"I'm gonna do more than just stare" he stated, immediately undressing and started to get in the bath with you. Just when you thought he was too tired for it he pulled you into a kiss, ah, how soft yet messy it was. He was such a good kisser you wanted it all over your body. So did he.

You felt something when you sat on his lap you already knew, but he couldn't forget about you, leaving you unattended barely knowing any details? How cruel! Gently snaking his hands around your leg lifting it up so he can see it. See all of you, for who you truly are, his lover.

"I missed you so, my dear. " he said pushing his finger into your wet slit trying to ease into you he kissed your cheek.

"Ah, I did t-to be careful please" you stuttered, only natural as how big his fingers were for such a well built man.

"Mmh, but what if i dont want to? I want to ravish you. I want you, only you. " he said while starting to pump his fingers in and out. Forgetting about the water as it nearly started to overflow.

"Mm so wet for me yes? Do you think you're ready? " whispered into your ear.

"I ugh I think"

"I wont stop until all of me is inside of you, you only deserve the best for being so patient. " with those words, you prepared yourself.

"More. Give me more John please, I need all of it" Who was he to deny? With those words he pounded into your sopping cunt, as you pulled him closer with your legs finally reaching your cervix. Sweet, yet bitter feeling as you scratched his back looking for something to grip onto. That only fueled him more to please every part of you until you forgave him for leaving so fast like that.

"Of course, my princess, only for you. I want to breed you. I want to see it flow out. Don't let a drop. Out okay? If you do ill have to push it all back in. " he said, nearly cumming another time, so sore, he was needing to finish soon. And he knew. He knew you had to too, legs already given out? How sad.

As your walls squeezed around him one last time he emptied all of him inside of you. Feeling his once hard cock, soften insidd you, you knew it was time to get out the bath.

"Mm~ John, its time to get outt" you softly said

"I know my love, just making sure it stays, I meant what I said. I want to breed you. And, if it doesn't take ill do it again. And again until it does." With that, your ears turned red.

AAAAAH I HOPE THIS IS GOOD ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING 😢

#john wick #keanu reeves #john wick smut #jw4 #smut #im so down bad for john wick

[anxiously-scared]

i was thinking about playing love and deepspace even with it only having a female mc, bc i figured i could try it out. being seen as female is not smth im not used to but i certainly wouldve preferred different options, like different pronouns (not to mention from the preview pics your only option is thin & long hair, not very variety in skin colour) but its like. whatever this is 90% of otome games ill be fine. BUT THEN I READ THE REVIEWS. basically the comment i read was saying how 'this is a WOMAN space there should be NO MALE MC WOMEN ONLY' and some people responding even were fujoshi and like. uhm. girl.... relax a bit

basically her problem was that all gaming spaces are male centric (shes not necessarily wrong, a lot of them are) and that otome games are the only women-dominated ones (i dont think shes wrong here either but i bet theres other ones like come on). and like. HUH??? this isnt a war it doesnt matter whether a space is fucking male dominated or whatever it matters about the game!!!! yes it sucks that its mostly men in other areas but you can still play. the game!!!

i understand that people review bombed the game on playstore for not having a male mc or at least options to make it more male looking BC YOU KNOW. it sucks that you have to scramble so hard if ur gay and yearning lol

anyways not playing it bc of that comment idk it just kind of tainted it for me

EDIT: WHAT WAS THIS GIRL EVEN TALKING ABOUT

THIS IS NOT REVIEW BOMBING. she probably only saw a few reviews (like i did) and then decided that was what was happening 😭😭😭😭

#like i get ur problem but ur just being a gatekeeper based on gender #how are you any better than the men in the male dominated spaces? #milky shenanigans #love and deepspace #idk kind of scrambled thoughts so please dont come at me for getting anything wrong #i get it partially but like relax a bit #theres probably always been that demand anyway its just no one wanted to say anything

[youremyheaven]

BTS & Their Possible Rising Signs (Vedic Edition)

Jungkook

im starting with jk bc im most certain of his rising sign and my estimate is that he's a bharani rising, which will make him a tropical taurus asc. jungkook gives me strong venusian energy, so my only other guess is for him to be a libra rising but i think its more unlikely.

if you listen to any of jungkook's solo music, he talks about missing his lover, yearning for them and being afraid of losing them, death is frequently addressed in them as well. jungkook has also mentioned several times about how he believes he'll hear bells when he meets his soulmate. tl;dr boy is obsessed with love, uniting with his soulmate etc. if you've watched claire nakti's nakshatra exploration videos, you'll know that these are major bharani themes.

i mean just look at the lyrics of stay alive or still with you. assuming that he's bharani rising, his birth time would be around 12 pm, and this would give him a 5h & 6h stellium, which just makes a lot of sense to me, since jk is known to be vvvv hardworking & is prone to workaholism.

IF he is bharani rising, then his asc would be conjunct namjoon's bharani ketu and considering the fact that jk has openly said he only joined bighit bc of joon & was inspired by him etc, it makes a lot of sense for them to have asc conjunct ketu synastry. ketu is the lowest point but its also where creativity is born, so jk was inspired by joon bc joon embodied the kind of creativity that jk wanted to project.

2. Yoongi

this will be short bc its a more simplistic take but man's gotta have a cat yoni right? i mean after a bazillion cat memes about him and his obvious physical resemblance to a feline. it makes sense for him to have a cat yoni asc. i dont think its ashlesha bc he does not give tropical leo vibes. but i think him being punarvasu rising makes a lot of sense, bc then he'd be a tropical cancer asc & sidereal gemini. he's so domestic and has 9398474 random hobbies and is so sensitive and intelligent. its def giving punarvasu to me.

bonus: this would mean that his asc is conjunct namjoon's punarvasu mars and that makes a lot of sense given how they've mentioned they used to argue a lot predebut etc but suga looks up to joon and he's mentioned it as well. there is a lot of respect between the two.

3. Namjoon

everybody says that joon is a scorpio rising and i agree lol. i cant see him as anything else. i think he's a swati rising, bc then he'd have a swati stellium (asc, venus & jupiter). he has a rakshasa gana moon and its rlly hard for someone with major rakshasa gana placements to gain public love bc its the kind of placement that makes ppl see u as a villain. so him having a swati stellium (swati= deva gana) makes sense bc he's seen as a precious angel, which is peak deva gana energy. he's vv well balanced for someone with so much rahu energy tho.

4. Jimin

he's pretty much confirmed tropical cancer rising and he'd be pushya asc in vedic. i mean this is sooo obvious, like look at his face, look at those lips, if thats not giving pushya idk what is.

now here are the members i have no idea about:

5. Jin

he gives aries asc vibes. def not an air or water sign asc. mayyybe a capricorn asc??? he could be ubp moon & asc. i strongly suspect that he has lunar influence, im ruling out rohini or hasta bc he does not give those vibes, however if he's cap rising, then he could be shravana asc & that could explain it.

6. Taehyung

i have no idea, i dont even know how to guess. maybe gemini asc. that could explain his duality. so mrigashira asc i guess??? serpent yoni could explain his charm and sway lol

7. Hobi

im inclined to think hobi is aries asc too but i dont see him as revati, ubp or aswini

an air sign or fire sign asc for sure tho

he's krittika moon and maybe he's krittika asc too??? who knows

#bts astrology #vedic astrology #bts vedic astro #astrology #bts #astro observations #astro notes #astroblr #astrology notes #astro community #namjoon astro

[goldnrry]

Fic idea I probably will never write but would love to read under the cut

(Sorry this is not a girl’s girls supporting girls concept because i like drama)

You are a fan, normal girl with a boring 9 to 5 job you hate and have an one night stand with harry by some miracle (you lifetime dream) (this is absolutely self inserted and im half embarrassed)

Maybe you meet at a bar or something or you occasionally do pilates together or you even work at his dentist office

so maybe it’s a reoccurring thing or just a one night thing

After a while you find you you are pregnant and try to talk to him but it’s hard to reach him and when you finally say fuck it and goes to his house to tell him he is already dating someone or is back with his ex he was on a break with when he got you pregnant but you tell him, very shyly now because you feel like you are ruining something and the girl is not welcoming

Alternative: he sees your dms asking to meet up and he very politely declines telling you he is with someone and you are like oh ok loosing the bravery you had to tell him, but one night you say fuck it and text “im pregnant” turns off your phone in a panic and opens you phone hours later to your inbox flooded with him

Anyways you run some tests, baby is really his and you start talking more now that you are planning on coparenting

And you actually get along really well because you share the same comedy braincells

And you try to not let it show how much you like him because he has a gf and you dont want him to be with you only because you are pregnant with his baby, but like… you have a crush obviously

But he is so gentle and protective of you, there where a few occasions where he left his gf in the middle of something to pic you up or your are no feeling well and it starts taking a tool on his relationship

Scene ideas:

first of all when finally comes to his senses he likes you and break things off with his gf he casually calls you at night asking what your craving of the day is so he can bring it to you, then he tells you he broke things of and you are like “oh are you ok what happened” he looks at you for a while before replying he realised he’d rather spend his time with you two while touching your bump

Maybe you get invited to his birthday or something with all his friends and girlfriend that is near a body of water so you have a bikini on), harry is always touching you small bump and at sone point he gives in to a intrusive tough and start pressing kisses to your belly, you stay wide eyed and frozen because thats waaaay to intimate, his girlfriend is shooting darts with her eyes and the whole party is 🫣 looking between you twi and the girlfriend but he is oblivious and maybe you gently try to call him out like “harry maybe that was too much for our situation”

Maybe he is avoiding drinking and any other drugs in support of you and his gf gets annoyed “she’s not even here with us you can have a fucking glass”

Emotional moments on doctor’s appointments and buying baby stuff

Harry telling you he will stay with you, you just have to say so to him and he will, and you are crying saying of course you want you have the biggest feelings and admiration for him and now that you got to know him you love him but you are terrified of him just being excited about the pregnancy and he will get bored of you and leave you for somebe else he develops an administration for

Idk lots of yearning and angst and tension but with an happy ending

He keeps denying for a while and staying in his relationship, but there are also moments where he blurts out things like “fuck I really want to kiss you” when he is dropping you off with his car one night and you are like obviously i do too so much, but you have a girlfriend, are you really into me or are you turned on just because i pregnant with your baby and the moment you get bored you will trade me for someone else?

And a looooooooooot of him being an aquarius man with commitment issues

And he just fucking loves watching how much you are loving being pregnant 🥹 you always have a hand on your bump making this face🥹 and you even blurt out sometimes thinks like “i look so cuuuuuute” but it breaks his heart when overheard you venting out to a friend about how much you love being pregnant but you are so sad you dont get to do this with your forever person

HE CALLS YOU MAMA IN THE CUTES MOST ENDEARED VOICE

Idk if i want the baby to be born on his birthday or for you two to be together yet buttttt he wants the baby next to him when he blow his bday candles so is either the baby in his arms or you standing next to him

#if anyone want to write it👀

[kurjakani]

FOR THE CHARACTER ASK THING!!!!! Im quite curious about your peter lucas thoughts, whats goin on with that old man?

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

PHEW THANK YOU I LOVE TALKING ABT THIS MAN. I'm gonna say. I definetly have a bit of a version of him in my head - it's been ages since I listened to MAG and he's kind of taken a life of his own. Also sorry i got so rambly here man i. Ill b real im lik3 right abt to fall asleep but i got exited abt him so here i go nevertheless..m

Sexuality Headcanon: HMM like. Bi. I dont think i can imagine him call himself that tho.

Gender Headcanon: old man. Like thats a part of his gender identity, being old.

A ship I have with said character: w MEEEE. My mag self insert. Lol. But yeah i am not that into the lonely eyes ship, just. Bc i do not care abt Elias all that much! I don't know many ships that include him otherwise. I haven't seen mary keay and plukas shipping but I'd love to. Idk. Awful vibes i think it could be great. Salesa maybe??? But I feel like its more like. Plukas likes looking at Salesa and Salesa kinda forgets hes even there sometimes.

A BROTP I have with said character: martin please. Please martin hang out w him tricking him into thinking ur getting more into the lonely but ur actually occupying his space and u are drifting away from the lonely TOGETHER. Also if u guys have heard the tim & plukas behind the scenes jokes abt cayacking and train documentaries. Yeah that too theyre """"buddies""""

A NOTP I have with said character: haven't come across anything that bothers me !

A random headcanon: i am really split on weather he barely eats or if he's like, a lowkey foodie. Idk why.

General Opinion over said character: For me I do view him as someone HURT by his loneliness, though in the show, if I recall right, he seems quite content? With his existance. Or says he is, and how he's drawn to it.

I will say- I partially mirror some of my own experiences of loneliness onto him. I was so afraid of opening up to people at one point that I convinced myself that I WANTED to be all alone. I used to want to move into a little cottage in the woods and cut off all contact to people. But it was a self destructive coping mechanism. At points a survival mechanism. Maybe canonically Peter Lukas is a reliable narrator?

I recall him talking about the warm glow coming from the windows of houses though, and the loneliness it made him feel- if i'm attributing this right. And i have a really hard time contributing that to anything but YEARNING. And reveling in yearning. I also have experience w that. Yearning is a DELIGHTFUL feeling.

So yeah I think I do find a lot of comfort in the version of Plukas I have in my head.

Honestly he's burrowed a little nest into my head abd become something beyond a little blorbo from my shows.

Like i have thought about marrying him as a performance art piece. But i dont think rustied featherpen would like that.

Anyways hes the hands. I reach out to the old hands with swelled joints and paper thin skin almost translucent yet the palest veins i ever did see like they'v been drained. Bro. He is the medival manuscript where the sun orbits the earth and that's his eyes and where they land on me. He is so far away and like honey 2 me bro

#ask #TYSM #yk what ill expand on my thoughts when im done w my relisten #i defi feel like my plukas is just in my head. and thats ok but it is kinda funny

[missmeinyourbones]

kin assign your moots :)

ok this has been sitting in my drafts for so long and kin is too hard so i decided to ship my mutuals... so basically i am not answering ur question but alas here we are

also i have a lot of mutuals so i think im just gonna do a few rn... maybe the ones i interact w the most or who i see the most on my dash ???? idk i also haven't talked to some of my mutuals bc im a dumb scared baby so if you are not on this list please do not crucify me i love u and if anyone wants a ship/more of these pls ask me i swear i can be normal

@crysugu - why do i wanna say... d-d-deku.... I DONT KNOW something about him is making a lot of sense with you! two lil sweethearts who are so so selflessly kind but ik u guys are Freaks when it comes to one another....

@soumies - i know megumi is such a safe answer but its so real... like so real i cant even think of another name to put down here. my two sweet little babies !!! :3 ;P you match one another energies so well... i trust him in ur hands (and more importantly, i trust u in his)

@alert-arlert - porco LMFAO its always gonna be porco with you ryn! i want you to walk him like a dog so fucking badly. he is so annoying and you are so powerful i just KNOW you have the ability to tame him. close second is hange tho for similar but less intense reasons

@ghostbeam - again there is no answer that is not dabi... but weirdly... i see you with dabi more than touya ??? idk something about the dabi-eqsue yearning closed barriers angsty dark love that shouldn't work but it does fits you guys so well. an icon in the dabi universe is what you are

@demxnscous - im fearful that im saying osamu. and im saying this because the way u write him is so RAW that you cant not be soulmates. i swear you could turn anyone on to him and THAT right there is such a power to wield.... the power of ur love for that man deserves this title

@izurou - SUNA please my favorite suna baby. he annoys you and you let him and its so beautiful. you just get him !!!!! which is tough but you're tougher. i think about ur characterization of him all the time, specifically in the routine and thursday and i could cry with how lovely he is when it comes to you

@augustinewrites - augustine.... you feel so Classy to me. like in my mind u radiate the purest of elegance. a god-tier creator on this app amongst us mere mortals. i feel like your poetic way of existing could compliment sakusa really well! the two of you are so sexi you look like you'd bully people but in reality are so kind just a bit intimidating

@maplesuna - maple i love the idea of you and atsumu becuase i cant stand him half of the time and i absolutely adore you so i love the concept him just being absolutely whipped for you. like u boss him around and he adores it and i get to watch it all front row w some buttery popcorn

@touyangel - sunny my baby you are so sugary sweet i know that hawks would treat u sooooo good. because hes kind and a little fucked up but you truly see the very best in everyone and i think you could save that man from himself. also pls take his #2 hero money u deserve fancy things

@utahimeow - gojo!!!! char u are one of my go to gojo babies whenever i want to giggle and make fun of him or completely tear my hair out thinking about him...i know ur always game. u understand him so well!!!! u are also not afraid to humble him <3 which i love

@kentoangel - choso. choso choso and choso. i know u love him but it feels so right. u guys are like a quiet kind of morning love... like when you sit in a sunlit window and don't need words to explain how you feel. also i think about your mango piece every day of my life... need i say more?

#again if you arent here i am just stupid and there's a lot of you #im happy to do more tho!!! :P #and this is just me being kinda silly and ranting :P nothing serious

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

Have you gotten into other series.since the owl house ended?

hey anon.

to be honest im all over the place, i really havent gone far from being still into toh- and mainly thats because im afraid of losing inspiration for writing toh fics if i dont keep some sort of grasp on it.

i have gotten and dabbled in other series but not really any that id want to write or read for. least not at this time. its like im consuming the media as it is and am not wanting to go deeper to create things for said media pieces.

recently- well.. not super recently i did watch arcane, and of course im really into scream, as well as both fight club and im sort of getting into mha.

however, i will say bloom into you ive taken a good interest in and while i havent read the manga fully yet- ive watched the anime like three times. i did start a fic that i didnt actually get far on but yeah.

really want to buy more of dorohedoro whenever possible too.

im just here idk. i hope i dont seem annoying or childish by still being in this fandom :(. i really just love the owl house, and growing up, it was really hard for me to find wlw representation that wasnt sexualized or like there was some sort of double standard of a male gaze with it. i kinda just found toh and have stuck by it. especially with the canon nonbinary they/them characters. lumity isnt a speculative ship either- we arent left in lesbian yearning. its an actual ship. for the first time in my fandom life i am able to experience a romantic relationship in a series that isnt purely derived from fanfiction and fan content. its real, and i love them. i love that theyre real and canon.

theres so much to think and talk about with the world too that leaves me to want to write about- especially BECAUSE its over. i can analyze canon as a whole and look at it like a salad bar of toppings for a fic.

i know its kind of childish, but i genuinely just love lumity. i love seeing them be happy. and im not gonna push myself if i dont feel up to parting with the series just yet. usually, my fandom eras last for a couple of years anyway. nothing just has roped me in just yet. i suppose when the fandom starts dying out, ill leave then, but it's pretty healthy still, and it's good. especially here on tumblr. very much so good people here.

i hope you have a good rest of your day. :)

#thanks for the ask!! #thank you for the ask anon #billys replying to asks

[spookfished]

nov 2023 media roundup

hello again :3 welcome to the world from 2024!! im doing backlogs of media reviews lol. well i was really busy. and then i was super busy playing umineko!! looking back at this month, it seems like i didnt read a whole lot this month, but then i forgot that ruzhui is literally 300 chapters long. so.. a couple of these i read uh quite a few months ago by now so the review might be a bit stale. however i had like 80% of this written for several weeks so theres only a couple! this will be posted on my neocities at some point

books:

ruzhui by please dont laugh: f/f. after a terrible breakup, college yun an is happy to leave her life behind for some TIME TRAVEL! but while disguising herself as a man to avoid discrimination, she gets looped into a matrilocal marriage with businesswoman lin buxian?! intended as a fluffy palate cleanser after pdl's previous work a clear and muddy loss of love, i think it still kinda ended up getting mired in politics two thirds of the way in, when a lot of us were here for the moments with miss malewife yun an and her powerhouse wife? on the other hand, its hard to stretch out fluff for an entire 300 chapters without contriviances. i also really enjoyed how it managed to balance like. idk. 'returning to the simple emotions of the past' with 'holy shit guys the past actually sucked ass lmfao'. its a pretty relaxing read, so id recommend checking it out if youre into f/f!

the devil comes courting by courtney milan: f/m romance. can romance bloom while trying to create the first telegraphic encoding for chinese...? sooo cute im a huge fan of courtney milan as always. surprisingly goes into some pretty heavy topics including like. forced assimilation via child stealing?????? i thought it was well handled though the ldr stuff and the way amelia grows as a person was soo nice

the marquis who mustnt by courtney milan: f/m romance. the son of a conman returns home for one final trick. meanwhile, naomi just wants to take her medic class. the two become engaged on false premises and of course, catch feelings. once again extremely cute im very charmed. also liked the pottery details :3 i think in every fake engagement the whole 'pretending to themselves they dont have feelings' is a little ridiculous so i liked that they just like. acknowledged it at the outset. i think its honestly more compelling to be like 'yes my feelings are sincere and true however X still outweighs '. loove a guy shackled by duty

wandering souls by cecile pin: follows anh and her two siblings, refugees of the vietnam war. ok honestly i dont remember a lot about this book :( sorry but i did like it! its a really fast read and made me really sad so id recommend. (DISCLAIMER: AMERICAN) i also feel like i dont read a lot of non-american diaspora books so thats pretty interesting as well. nice prose also :]

detransition baby by torrey peters: a trans woman who yearns for motherhood, her detransitioned ex-boyfriend, and his pregnant partner struggle to find a way to live--together, or apart? ok sorry this is another review written in january so its kinda weighted more negatively. i had a LOT of thoughts about this in november but i forgot most of them. this novel is a deep look into a very specific kind of queer subculture--a subculture which is both very white and very annoying. sorry. the characters feel like a vivid, true-to-life depiction of the poeple i try to avoid at my little liberal arts college. however, it ALSO feels like the kind of really good gossip that you love to hear secondhand. also, the author shoehorns in discussions of race in ways that are really jarring and also, kinda bad? i honestly really loved the inner voices of all the characters which is why it sucked when i got to suddenly read a copy-pasted twitter thread about intersectional oppression instead. (especially coming from the mouth of a cis wasian woman..?) it feels all the more tokenistic since we immediately go back to the inner struggles of ames and reese instead. ugh. however, it sparked some really interesting conversations with me and my friends. i also got to learn more about ah i guess transfem detransition? as opposed to transmasc detransition. they are very different! um but i guess id recommend?

comics/manga:

surviving romance: action/horror webtoon?? the woman living in the body of a romance novel character is determined to get her picture-perfect happy ever after-- at all costs. everything goes according to plan until the day zombies attack the school. chaerin is forced to bond with the faceless extras of her story, and find out what is rotting at the core of *love every day*. very solid writing!! i like how the author gradually introduces characters, and how the tension ratchets up as more people to care for becomes more people that can be lost. definitely goes into some orv-lite type themes, which i appreciated. i guess my only complaint is that despite the solid execution it didnt really ~wow~ me in any way... still worth checking out though :3

run away with me girl by battan: f/f romanceish? two high school lovers meet again after midori decided that their relationship was just a childish whim. but even though midori has decided shes straight (and is married with a kid on the way!), maki still has feelings for her. dude soooo cute the art style is not personally my thing but i felt like all of the characters were really grounded and the introspective parts were really interesting. some beautifully atmospheric parts! would recommend :3 witch hat atelier kitchen (reread) by shirahama kamome: a spinoff of witch hat atelier, where the two teachers qifrey and olrugio make food together after hours! gorgeous art as always, and some cute recipes too! i reread this since an official english translation came out lol. monotone blue: short furry m/m about apathetic, aloof cat hachi, who meets aoi--a shy transfer student who happens to be the only lizard in the whole school. pretty lighthearted for the most part, but also heavily implied a sexual assault scene?? or at least the vibes?? in a way that treated it far too lightly and left a bad taste in my mouth. possibly worth reading for the art, but idk :/ definitely falls into the romance trap of having a love interest go "ill save you from these bad guys!" for like a cheap plot device and then not really going into it

movies/tv:

parasite: class-focused comedic thriller? the kim family finds a way out of choking poverty by working for the extremely affluent park family. its almost too easy--until it isnt. man everyone says parasite is so good. AND IT IS!!! i cant believe i took so long to see this movie i got to see it with some friends over thanksgiving break and it was so good :] had me stressed for my fucking life sitting at the edge of my seat. has a lot of meat to bite into analysis-wise but is also just so crushing in many ways.. the ending stuck in my head for a long time. rewatching it this january was honestly more stressful in some ways haha

revolutionary girl utena: allegory-heavy commentary on shoujo and princess narratives and the nature of heroism and-- f/f. utena is a girl who aspires to be just like the prince of her dreams. she is somehow wrapped up into an engagement with anthy himemiya, who calls herself "the rose bride." ahhhh i still havent watched the last two episodes actually. people always say "utena is a fantastic show but PLEASE mind every single trigger warning" and its true! utena tackles some really heavy subjects in a way that is delicate, understated, and vicious. i watched a bunch of these episodes late at night in the computer lab and they honestly left me breathless. has so many layers of symbolism to dig through that it can honestly be overwhelming, but also very compelling just on the surface! watch utena. also watch this amv https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THN3gYKYojs

the wonderful story of henry sugar: a netflix adaptation of one of roald dahls stories (within a story). it was cute :3 not a lot of sticking power lol but i think this is the first wes anderson production ive ever watched. very visually distinctive!

video games:

lethal company: cooperative horror game about trying to collect garbage in a dystopically capitalist world ft. proximity chat! dude this game is blowing tf up i tried playing it with neil but 1. we are huge pussies 2. its really only feasible with 3+ people

music:

TILT by nanoray: anime breakcore is one of my truly guilty pleasures. i see the anime girl on the cover and cringe a little bit HOWEVER nanoray is a really good artist. the intro is so liquid... i think the album as a whole really just sweeps you up into a groove. some of my favorite tracks are into and DOGWALK2000 THE LONELIEST TIME by carly rae jepsen: i was so mean to carly rae jepsen in middle school. im so sorry miss jepsen i was just so tired of hearing call me maybe everywhere. im now a changed man. just a really well constructed pop album 👍admittedly not as iconic to me as emotion, but joshua tree and talking to yourself are my favorites atm SAYONARA WILD HEARTS OST: ive never played sayonara wildheart, but i think its a rhythm game about girls fighting each other on motorcycles? with bisexual lighting and tarot cards? but anyways this is a synth-y lush pop album thats super fun! it feels like it tells a story (probably bc it does) and it always makes me want to listen all the way through :3 my favorites are sayonara wild heart and their clair de lune remix

anyways if you read to the end, thanks as always! its really interesting to try and condense my thoughts about something into one paragraph.. sometimes its easier than others huh! im almost done with the december one so please look forward to that 👍

#txt

[goremet-chef]

i love polyamory 🗣‼ life changing for real like. IDK i think a lot of my disconnect to things directly comes from autism so to ik to a lot of people they CANNOT imagine such a thing but its pretty easy for me? like its just a bigger relationship its great, i work better in groups anyways thats why like all of my self inserts are inserted into polyam relationships. if its not virginia and kelvin, its link and sidon, papyrus and mettaton LIKE. SHIT LIKE THAT its just second nature for me.

(didnt mean to ramble so hard but welcome back to dominics yapping club today we're going to be yapping about my connection with romantic vs platonic love because its my tumblr and im here to YAP)

i guess that disconnect honestly. i STILL really have no idea if im actually aromantic or not. like i do a lot of yearning but am i REALLY yearning? i cant read myself so i have no idea like genuinely it is a FULL mystery who knows!!!! i think maybe like. okay it falls on bpd and how that affected my relationships, when i think back to it i can tell everyone ive ever been in relationship with, they were my FP so maybe i did love them? but i know i was also obsessed like.... listen looking back on younger me clueless to what bpd even was, having a mental breakdown in middleschool cuz yr online girlfriend made matching icons with HER AND HER FRIENDS FURSONAS..... like genuinely i was SO CRUSHED i thought it was over and done and i was like what about all that we had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO DRAMATIC OKAY... i dont blame younger me cuz he couldnt have known but like... the signs have always been there KSFS im a lot more. managed now, at least i try my best to be and from what i can tell in my 'recent' relationship adventures, one of them i was ONLY obsessed with for a little while cuz he gave me attention even tho he sucked a little and then the obsession like.. faded. it was over and i said goodbye and that was that (which. IK IT SOUNDS AWFUL but it was one of those sexual interest things and outside of that attention, he was very manipulative and honestly a little rude so. i did the right thing idk why i keep losing the relationship lottery)

i guess i just get nervous about that happening again, but like. im slowly realizing i can be obsessed with someone yes, but i can also love them. i think i spent a while there like.. discrediting any of the love i felt for anyone because it was accompanied with obsession, but thats not true!! i did love them, i loved her and i loved him and it all like. idk its a lie, ive been lying to myself and saying im only capable of brutal obsession when its not true, i can love too. i love all the time!!!!! i love my pets i love my friends like. im a lover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is honestly the first time im really realizing that tbh but. its the truth even if theres a lot of bitterness and anger and pain inside of me, there is also love

i think my problem is i just dont understand romantic relationship? like on an autism level cuz to me like. whats the difference between a partner and a friend? LIKE GENUINELY cuz im about as affectionate with a friend as how i should be with a partner SO WHERES THE LINE? to me there just is no line like idk i really cant see it! i think if yr dating someone, they SHOULD be yr friend because what................. like how could you get with someone whos not yr friend already yknow what i mean where did you find that guy!!!! and where has he BEEEN put him back bro.....

and even then i think i hear a lot of people describe their relationships as like 'dating their best friend' yes im sure but that just makes it murkier like. i think that romance isnt real guys i think its made up and its just a word, theres this like. this elevation of romantic love in comparison to platonic love and i do not understand why because its the same thing for me? i love my friends just as hard as id love a partner because thats what they DESERVE, so like idk i think in my head i dont see it either way its just love? the lines are too blurry for me to process so i just disregard them completely, somethin like that.

interesting to think about but it. like no one else feels that way so its very. if i did have a partner, could i give them what they need? i could love them til the very end, but like. what do they want from me............... like is there some unspoken rules that i need to have spoken to me or something, is it wrong for me to love my friends like that? is it wrong for me to love my partner like that? like i genuinely cant tell. i know people say ohh when you fall in love its this connection youve never had before its so special and new and different from yr other relationships and to that??? you must just not have very close friends!!! id do anything for my friends id lay my life down for them id eat them out id DO ORGANIZED CRIME AND BECOME A MAFIA BOSS i let them PEER PRESSURE ME INTO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL (lie), id go out on FRIEND DATES BASICALLY its so cute we all go out together and just hang around and shop and eat together like i love it and i would sit in their beds and just. be quiet because we dont need to be talking !!!!!!!!!!! ill sleep with them ill let them touch me even which says a lot cuz i REALLY dont like to be touched!!!!!! its love so deep it makes my brain fuzzy like im giggling right now teehee i love all my friends so much i give every single one of them a little kiss

my POINT IS i jsut dont see the need for like. the labels i guess? because to me there is no difference between romantic and platonic love, its all just LOVE i think thats whats made me feel so. STRANGE all the time, everyone always describes sparks and shit and i just dont understand cuz i spark with everyone i love, i wouldnt love them if i didnt!!!!!! grining

so am i aromantic? i do not know because i dont believe in romantic love/???? like. i dont think its that im lacking romantic attraction i think its just that romantic attraction and platonic attraction are the same thing for me basically like its just RAW LOVE AND ADORATION and i can extend that to anyone

OKAY i know this is so long this is literally me just. im like self mediating myself rn okay im HELPING MYSELF UNDERSTAND ME BETTER cuz i really have no idea whats going on at all

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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[genderqueerdykes]

im intersex and transmasc/a trans man and ive questioned being transfem as well, but its so hard for me to feel i can claim that when i dont present femininely very often and my connection is mainly to femininity itself, with womanhood its complicated... im definitely intergender and feel it's likely i'm trans because of having hyperandrogenism, i feel i may be a woman otherwise and have always felt connection to womanhood just without *being* a woman, its just not what happened for me (#complicated trans intersex things), i just always yearn for womanhood even though i just know deep down its not for me and never couldve been bc of being intersex, it just wouldnt have ever felt right. personality wise still i am very feminine, more feminine than masculine, very into feminine things/have very predominantly feminine interests, so all these things make me feel connection to the transfem label but i end up feeling like since i don't ever really look feminine that often and it's unclear to me if i'm considered to have a feminine gender (gender is a mess) that i can't claim the label (honestly since then i think i don't experience transmisogyny very often and some say that's a requirement to be transfem)

so lost on it, any time i tried calling myself transfem i felt like a fake and that if people saw how masculine i am that they would call me a fake (honestly i dont even know if that would happen if that itself would be considered transmisogyny for someone like me since i do identify as a transmasc too and im more masculine now because of being on testosterone even though it is as significant as it is because of the hyperandrogenism... Idk if it counts as transmisogyny towards a transfem intersex person when its partly from being on testosterone even tho it wouldnt show up as strongly if you were perisex, yknow. more complications sigh)

so there's a lot of nuance to being intersex, and i totally understand why you're so confused and lost, because that's where i'm still at right now, so don't feel bad at all

it can take a very long time to kind of unwind that you're not perisex and that perisex logic doesn't apply to you. it doesn't really matter if you're "more" feminine than masculine, honestly, sometimes that makes it harder for intersex people, because when you have more subtle masculine features, people often think you are a transfeminine person attempting to hide those features due to dysphoria or trying to pass. it's very annoying, people are invasive in ways that aren't necessary

afab intersex people are often denied our femininity wholesale due to our masculine features. i was told i wasn't a "real girl" and i couldn't do things like wear makeup, for example, without getting absolutely ridiculed for no reason by my peers. i was also ridiculed for carrying a purse, or wearing feminine clothing. i was told i was "too manly to be a girl" because of my face shape, the slope of my shoulders, the flatness/sagginess of my chest, and my beard/mustache and body hair. i wasn't a guy either though, because i had a high pitched voice and a very obvious hourglass figure, so people just couldn't seem to figure out exactly what they wanted out of me. i was ridiculed into chest binding because people thought me wearing any other type of bra was me "trying to be a girl".

it's very confusing and it's a hard place to exist in in life. i think perisex people just don't really quite get how hard it is to exist as an intersex person. our experiences are so unique that you really can't apply any other logic to it other than our own specific situations. every intersex person is different as well.

if you find yourself relating to this, then it sounds like you experience a transfeminine intersex experience. keep in mind that it doesn't really matter what your agab is due to how you've been treated and if you've been denied the ability to identify as feminine or female in some way due to your agab, it is a transfeminine experience. it's just important to remember to never speak over or for amab transfeminine people, of course.

also, once you are on testosterone for a while, if you choose HRT, and you choose you present femininely, people more than likely will interpret you as transfeminine. i was getting so aggressively she/her'd when i had my long pink hair that i had to shave it off because i was sick of it. i had an old woman in a dollar store rush up to me to tell me to be careful, because there are people out there who like to attack certain girls. i really appreciated the gesture but it just goes to show you how people jump to conclusions very quickly when they see a "masculine body" and "feminine clothing" combined.

i hope that helps you out, i know it'll take some time for you to be able to come to terms with everything. i still am, myself, it's hard. there's no guidebook to being intersex, i wish our experiences were more well spoken of, but for now we simply have to do our best with what we have. i'm going to write a few zines and leaflets down the road to hopefully help other intersex people like us who are confused and need a sense of community. take care of yourself, hope you're able to sort everything out. good luck

#asks #answers #intersex #transfemasc #transmascfem #transmasc

[undeadhorse]

next time i go to sleep i hope i wake up as a tiny sapient ungulate.

i remember seeing some of the TSU art six months ago and being like, vaguely creeped out by the faces. but since then ive fallen down a personal rabbithole of studying horse anatomy and working hard on my art, and also tangling my gender identity up with my deep seated loving fixation on mlpfim. now all i can see is like, beautiful little horses that are almost perfectly what i have been trying to construct in my head as like, what a my little pony would look like irl. bc if you know anything about the show you know that just having them be irl ponies wouldnt work. these horses can play instruments, you cant do that with normal hooves.

ugh. im not sure what to do. the like, feeling inside of wanting to be a my little pony is like, almost too much sometimes. its like the same feeling as being closeted and trans again. but i cant actually like, transmogrify into a mlp or a tsu. i need to like, chill. before this turns into some kind of body dysmorphia or something. idk maybe thats not gonna happen. i just worry. i dont want to start looking in the mirror at the body i have and hating it like i did when i was a teenager. bc i cant turn into a horse. as much as i want to, as much as i can like, style myself subtly to be horsier. i cant be a horse. and i dont want to set myself up for pain by leaning too hard on this to cope. and giving myself body dysmorphia or something similar. its okay that im human.

its so complicated to be told my whole life im not welcome in any group. and then as an adult lose a lot of my connection to the trans and queer communities thru trauma and like, accidental feedback from my peers telling me again that im not welcome bc im disabled and have trauma. or bc im not comfortable with words like f****y. i have been told over and over again that im not welcome by so much of society that im like. i dont feel like im human. i feel like im a monster. not in a horrible i hate myself way. just like. if humans keep telling me im not welcome then maybe ill embrace it and be a monster, and thats something thats been bubbling in me for years and years.

but now this mlp thing. ive rediscovered mlp. it has filled a hole in me. it has buoyed me and become my muse and allowed me to start the process of reclaiming my life and building things for myself. its this font of great things for me. but im worried im leaning too much on it to cope with the new stresses in my life.

im hurting and overwhelmed and that is turning into an intense yearning to be a my little pony in equestria. so bad some days it actually hurts. which makes me think maybe the coping mechanism is breaking down and i need to re-evaluate things.

#hashtag blogging with aggy #cw slur

[smileysuh]

Nova my baby love, my king, my sire, every day I wake up and can’t kiss your amazing, magnificent, wonderful, horny brain is a day wasted. Okay I’m gunna dive into what I’ve read since the last time we talked:

Paper clip and extension:

OH MY GOD!!!!! I’ve never been really sexually attracted to haechan and I know I shouldn’t be attracted to THIS heachan but there is something about a slight stalker that gets me going. Him on the phone??? I was eating that shit up. Him coming OVER????? I had to take a breather

Impaled:

nova, this fic has had such an impact on my friend group we’ve started to quote parts of it. It was funny and genuine and cute and I loved it so much. And the patreon extra????? I got so sad the way it ended :( I understand why jeno did what he did but poor haechannie:(

Celebrated:

ain’t nothing in the word I love more in this fucking world than a meanie fic written by you. Everytime you post one I wanna kiss you so hard. They’re always so fucking good and you did not miss with this one!!!!!! And the patreon extra?????? Needless to say I love wonwoo and mingyu like something bad

Class project extension:

idk if I accidentally looked this over when you originally posted this but getting to sit down and read this??? It’s so cute and so meanie. I ate that shit up so hard, they’re so cute together.

I love that you’re venturing off and focusing more on established relationships, it’s always so sweet and makes my heart yearn for a love like that so I can’t wait for more 💙

Also I mentioned the wayv comeback last time and I didn’t clarify, it was just a rumor that’s been half confirmed I think but I still want all your two baddies opinions!!! Also do you collect photocards? Also also I’m glad you’re in recovery, I hope all is going smoothly and good for you!! I want and wish nothing but the best for you Nova!!! (I know we don’t really know each other but I consider us friends on some level)

- 💙 anon 💙💙💙💙💙

DSLJKJLAADSK NOT YOU BEING ATTRACTED TO YANDERE HYUCK

stalkers really are- like... if they're hot... then they're hot as FUCK-

OOOF YOU GUYS LIKED IMPALED??? AHH! THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY! dude- the dynamic between Hyuck and Jeno- fuuuck- frat boy threesomes really just be: god tier

thank you for loving meanie!!!!!! and thank you for enjoying the established relationship aus- they are extra sweet and yearnful eh? :)

and ahhhh! i see about the wayv stuff! LJDSALJADLS

ok i've rewatched two baddies the music video - havent heard the rest of the album yet - and i just- NCT own me. they're so-

they all looked SOOOO GOOOOD!??? the aesthetic was dope- Mark lee and lil face tattoos and a toque- i cry for him DSLKJASDLK

i dont collect photocards! (low key don't collect albums- im a bad kpop stan) i just don't have the money for albums and photocards and such LKSDAJASD and even if i did- i think i have too much poverty trauma to allow myself to get myself nice things like photo cards KLDAJAJD but i'm very happy for my friends that do collect lol-

we're definitely friends! you're BLUE HEART ANON!!!!

#💙 anon #every time you send a message i'm like FRIEND #and then i take time to respond cuz i wanna give you my full attention #LOL #klsdjajdkljaldkjklsa

[cassie-moore]

Making late lunch-been working like crazy calls w 12 countries now time zone is peace for a bit

Glance at this - have a draft

I didnt log feeling draft-reading back on it. My feelings are always so raw late at night. Maybe because my heart is more open and i allow my thoughts/mind and heart to communicate. I feel like during day I block them from eachother (maybe a survival tactic i developed to protect my heart idk)

Last nights raw…

TR whole thing to feel 5/16

Got an alert he posted im too afraid to look at moment or i wont be able to get that sleep. Too much info in my dm, and im too sick of seeing her. Dont know if shes w him again out there. But if i saw her out there w him i wouldnt be able to even process it let alone check absorb that before i went to sleep. If shes not there w him, im sure shes sending him selfies of her face prob looking pouty that shes not w him. Or if he asked her not, it would prob last a week and then pick right bk up when she got comfortable again. Because its who she is.

Been seeing pictures of her taking pictures of the sidewalk or herself for an entire year of my life. If anyones posts could make someone feel like theyre losing braincells, its hers.

Its somehow not even the posts or array but more the fact that you know that prob six of her seven days a week are centered around her posting on the gram

I dont get it, yet he must think thats normal for a girl? Idk

By my late twenties i had my series 7 63 65 and 31. Had already lived for a couple yrs and been an actress in LA, Built a $65 million dollar book of business that had nothing to do w my dads team at ms

Fck.. The Ptree Group manages like $14 Billion in assets now, and just landed The Weather Channels stock plan

Point - im so damn terrified inside my heart that he is will choose this chick forever. I dont know if Id be more depressed for myself or for him . Having to watch her alongside him was like watching paint dry for a year (literally) …i cant do it anymore

My average looking non-famous guy friends said theyd choose me no question over that (two saying they didnt find her attractive), but yet the man of my life who stamped his name in music so hard that he has fan girls scrambling in their heels everywhere around the globe chooses to be in an actual relationship with her. Potentially even marriage. The whole thing has felt like a mind fuck for me to wrap my head around and my biggest fears lies in the fact that the only part that makes sense for me exists in his arms

Thre it is. Yearning ache again

I just feel like deep down shes a girl shell of person his persona g-e would have entertained for a night before but now, deep down i just feel like the real Gerald would no way green earth give up his intellect or creative or drive to appease her laziness and ever stay happy about it

Log all these feelings, sleep them off, come out of cocoon, take a hot shower - crawl in bed. Think about how nice if would be in bed with him - under covers naked w him - fall asleep to that

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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