#idk been feeling rly good about my sexuality and gender

[allrelativefiction]

I love being a lesbian, lately I've felt so happy and comfortable and safe in this label. It feels so good and special to me. I love how I've felt lately, I just—really love this part of my identity!!

#lesbian #nblw #lesbian tag #sid rambles #idk been feeling rly good about my sexuality and gender #and their overlap lately #I feel happy #I think the pronouns change also helped a bit too

[manicpixiedckgirl]

okay, so i posted a timeline. sue me! i quit all other social media last year and needed that dopamine hit. just a lil nicotine patch for online attention. seasonal depression is a bitch okay. i posted it here and to ig, bc ig is to late millennials what facebook is boomers. and people have all said some very nice things, but when you're posting a 10 year timeline, you're usually hoping for someone from your past to see it and go "woah! you're so different now"!

and whaddya know, this time it worked. one of my exes from when i was a teenager saw it. not one of the ones who turned out to be a lesbian, one of the ones who turned out to be a trans man. He just wanted to say hi - that he was so happy to see that i looked happy, and that i looked incredible, especially compared to the scruffy twink they had dated. (okay those are my words not his)

he and I didn’t have a great relationship at first - no one had a great relationship with me before i realized i was a trans woman obviously, but this was pretty young. I was really repressed and weird back then, and still very much without any social graces, and we were only like 16. they caught the full broadside of my emo fuckboy energy and got out fast once they saw that - i don’t blame them. I was crying in their arms about how much i hated my new body hair, and how i wanted to be able to wear dresses, and the next day i’d be completely emotionally unavailable and denying all of it. not exactly boyfriend material, not entirely boyfriend. They were very traumatized too in their own way, just realizing they were trans too, and engaging in a lot of ‘i want to be a gay man’ antics, fucking their way through the pain. He was frankly way too cool and sexually liberated to be wasting his time with that version of me. And it was very obvious to everyone who knew what that was 12-15 years ago that i was a closeted trans girl. we had a friend group that eventually fell apart, and we parted for the first time.

Later, in our late teens/20, we would end up fucking - i had started to accept and announce that my gender was complicated, and i was starting to be kinda faggy and loud about it, and not everyone hated that, and they had just started T and were boy horny. We split a bottle of wine (or was it two? It was probably two) and started watching an ashley tisdale movie. Looking back on it, how it went must definitely have been his plan, but i’ve always been blind about this stuff and was that night. It was definitely bad sex, but it was also fun sex - the first time I enjoyed myself,  and the pressure of having to be a guy wasn’t so overwhelming i didnt effectively black out. he’s one of the first people i ever talked to about feeling complicated about gender, and i think by then he had figured me out, and was just letting me get the rest of the way on my own. I still couldn’t top for him, i never rly could top for anyone, even before estrogen. but we still had fun, with our hands and with our mouths. and then after that, we'd go to art shows and poetry readings and hang out again occasionally, like we talked about doing when we were literal kids, putting on rocky horror in our front rooms.

but life takes you away from people, and he got into film school, and i somehow graduated my chemistry program and moved to the US. he moved to Germany for a while, although i hear he's back home. i got married, got separated, there was a global pandemic. we hadn't talked in years, although i had snooped on him once or twice. He’s a director now - he’s made some impressive arthouse films, all horror and gender and kitchy campy cerebral themes. He’s got a big tv writing credit on the way in irish tv. Idk - it felt rly good to impress him, to say hi, to remember. it's really cool to see other trans people thriving and living life, always. anyone who cleaves reality to themselves and fashions themselves into someone they can love is someone who impresses me. but it's different when it's someone you've known for almost half your life - someone you were a fucked up kid with, not sure if either of you would make it to 18. and to be smiling at each other, looking at 30, and wondering what's next. i'm really proud of the both of us actually. and i needed that today.

#trans #essay #diary

[ganondoodle]

something thats been driving me crazy is the constant worry that i am somehow using harmful stereotypes for the characters i write

like i am unfortunately white tm and me also being autistic and queer does not erase that obviously, im always trying to educate myself as best as i can, yet i feel like im always doing something wrong

its less of a problem when im working with the normal forms of hylia and demise since they are not really human, and though their humanoid disguises technically are still not human they do represent what they might have looked like if they grew up as one; i didnt want to make demises form too dark since i felt like it would perpetuate that stereotype of dark skin = evil which is already not great about ganondorfs character design, but didnt want to make him too light since i felt it would erase that part of his connection to ganondorf altogether and make it all the worse, but then again my demise isnt actually that evil, hes good at heart, so making him too light then would be even worse bc it would imply that light = good thing again

for hylia im even more anxious about it bc i intentionally gave her very dark skin to kinda subvert that light = good thing with zelda (tho in my AU the gods are not good and hylia isnt actually as loyal to them as it may seem bc she knows that.. which i feel complicates things just further; and also light an dark is just a very good contrast aesthetically?) but then i also like to intentionally make characters rather ?gender? but then i worry her being somewhat masculine would also be sth harmful bc i know black women are often treated as inherently less feminine .. which isnt my intention at all (tho my hylia .. doesnt rly have a gender? idk many characters i like to write/design dont have anything specific, like what more do you need than knwoing the right pronouns to call them?? qnq) her being rather cold and ruthless also feels like im doing something bad somehow

then theres the whole sexualization worry, i dont know if im doing that in a bad way bc honestly i just like .. drawing ...bodies? aesthetically? like yes they are very sexy but also wheres the line, am i somehow overstepping it without knowing?? how can i recognize what is normal 'finding certain things pretty or sexy' and what isnt??

so far i dont remeber anyone pointing anythign out as bad which im taking as a sign that i cant be doing that badly .. hopefully, maybe all this is a very stupid thing to worry about and its obvious to everyone else but i am so god damn afraid of doing something even slightly questionable and being hunted down for it (probably bc similar happened to me when i was a teen and it was about an absolut non issue, literally, so even the thought of doing something actually bad is mind boggling to me bc that other thing nearly cost me my life and i literally dont know how i survived and i would 100% not if it happened again..)

this is probably a very chronically online thing too but hoenstly i needed to get it out of my head for once

#ganondoodles talks #sorry for this weird rant out of nowhere #but yes i constantly worry about all of that #-AM I ALLOWED TO FIND THIS SEXY OR IS THAT A BAD THING- #-can i have this character as my fav or is that bad tm????- #its probably so so stupid #but i have been stupid before #fear is clawing at my throat at all times #and no im not trying to be like uwu pwease educate me im just a fragile lil white lad uwu #-shudders- #adn also not a lol typical weirdo ace people behavoir not knowign aesthetic attraction exists #god i hate that #probably gonna delete this in the mroning but my paranoia isnt letting me rest #i think destiny is the most solid story i have written so far so im actually kinda proud of all the work and conncetions in it #but what if im wrong

[straycalamities]

ive been thinking a lot about the nitty gritty of my attraction and gender and the only things im sure about are: 1. i'm absolutely graysexual 2. my gender is pretty majority male but not entirely so like...85% male or smth but male enough that i don't want any other descriptors or pronouns outside of strictly masculine ones (i mean if u call me "girl" or whatever jokingly i get it but when ur being serious i mean.) 3. i'm attracted to masculinity but androgyny is also super duper hot.....................that's why its like?? am i gay? or bi?? bc when i say i'm bi i mean like....i'm mainly attracted to men but if someones androgynous or masculine enough, even if theyre not a man, im attracted so??? what the HAYL am i??? bc im not rly...attracted to feminine ppl like ever....

but also is it romantic? or sexual? is it aesthetic? do my romantic and sexual attractions line up? does it matter? @_@ ARGH

my dating history has been 6 dudes and 1 genderfluid person (plus 2 more dudes who were BASICALLY dating me we just didnt call it official) and i feel like thats a pretty good representation for what im attracted to

but ive also had a few crushes on like...okay 4 girls? and then one who when i crushed on him he was fem-presenting but turns out he was a trans guy lmao

but also were those REALLY crushes? because 1. we were close friends (besides 1 and idk if she even counts bc i mighta just been in a desperate period of my life tbqh) and 2. at the same time of thinking about all this madness i'm like...am i on the aro spectrum as well??? do i get platonic/aesthetic feelings confused for romantic? what ARE romantic feelings? what's going on? and how can i even have someone explain it bc romantic feelings for one person might not be romantic feelings to someone else

idk man im just lost

so i sit here in my graysexual trans man comfort blanket and try not to think about anything else i just wave the bi flag bc its the prettiest one but it goes so deep dude...so deep...

#txt

[cdmodule]

*looks at you w my big gay eyes* loser bfdi for the hcs listen i need

(From this post)

Yeah I'm sure you would Gayboy Sexuality Headcanon: Gay Beast. Loser has kissed a girl like once in her teens during spin the bottle and then has never seen a single woman again Gender Headcanon: Short answer: Nonbinary transfem (he/she) but I need you all to understand Loser's 4D chess gender. Absolute Late Bloomer who's def had "I wish I could be like a girl but I like being a guy too:/" moments when younger but didn't put much thought to it. Has always been around trans ppl but nothing rly Fit Him or she didn't have much time to think about it until being with Cake and actually sitting down and talking about Gender. She's like, happy with her gender expression and being Lame Masc but also likes to be a Pretty Lady. She's a dilf, he's a milf, he's your housewife and also she's a man. But not in a male way. Man only in a gay way. Lady in a gay gender non conforming way. You simply have to Get It. She's Loser A ship I have with said character: LOSERCAKEE DUHH They were like.. my first ship when I got into it cuz of you AND HOW COULD IT NOT BE ITS PERFECTLY SWEET & GAY Loser obviously cares abt cake like. Its not just cake bein a Huge Fan like YEAH HE IS and he needs Loser a little bit ( a lot ) but Loser is also very fond of him LIKE COME ON. THEYRE SWEET LITTLE THINGSSS WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY. How could u not see Cake blushin up a Storm around Loser and Loser nudging him and not think those two are IN LOVEEE Also Loser x Winner but I talked abt it here already. Loser is a very shippable beast like... the options are endless. Spongy, Donut, Fries, Snowball, Leafy, Ruby, mabye Clock and Tree even YOU GET MY POINT . Also don't get me started on Loserfour I was a bit fixated on that pairing for a bit #swag A BROTP I have with said character: GELATIN & LOSER they also kiss just a little bit but like AS BROS YKNOW. Same Pose Buddies. Loser would go to Gelatin's steakhouse a Lot he's a regular costumer A NOTP I have with said character: [Gestures] IDK A random headcanon: German. General Opinion over said character: I WONDER HOW I WOULDVE FELT ABT HER IF IT WASNT FOR YOU... But even then I brought a lotta original ideas to the table and according to you Im a good source for Loser content so yay. But I feel like ppl misunderstand him a lot. He neeeever came off as pretentious abt his fame to me, moreso just Accepting and Enjoying it WHICH ISNT BAD he was never rude about it or anything. I do think It's funny how she doesn't do much except just stand around and be strong sometimes and everyone loses their minds ITS SO SILLY . DESERVED

#answered #headcanon tag #Hi Nate #Again #how you doin #i love how her gender one is the longest i thought abt it a lot ok

[freeuselandonorris]

https://www.tumblr.com/freeuselandonorris/748045381390204928/httpswwwtumblrcomfreeuselandonorris748039869

im glad to help !! also sry this ask seems rly long now that im rereading it… i have spent an embarrassing amount of time playing these games. what farm type did you pick? it just occurred to me i didn’t ask that before but each one is a lil dif so im interested to know if you went w the standard one or picked a dif one.

totally understand that complaint! i’d recommend using a guide or the wiki for a bit of guidance, i always have the wiki up on my phone. you may alr know but it took me a LONG time to realize it so just in case, heres another lil tip! make sure to check the tv daily. it tells you the next day’s weather and the daily fortune every day, but on sundays, “queen of the sauce” teaches you a new recipe, and wednesdays are reruns. mondays and thursdays play “livin’ off the land” and it gives you tips on gameplay, like where to find certain foragables that are in season and things like that.

fishing is… tricky. i used to hate it but after years it’s fairly easy. it’s just about timing! it gets easier as you practice, upgrade your fishing pole and level up your fishing skill. if you get a training rod from willie’s instead of the bamboo rod, the green bar is larger so it’s a bit easier to get the hang of

so sorry you got laid off but at least u got to play cyberpunk!! i didn’t really know it was based off anything other than the tabletop game, that’s a new rabbit hole for me to go down. pretty much had the same experience, i remember watching the 2013 e3 trailer and being obsessed from the getgo, and then it was unplayable on launch and i was super disappointed. they spent a decade on a game and released it like that? i lost interest until last year, i saw someone on reddit say it was worth playing, so i gave it a try and i was fucking obsessed. played it for hours after work every day. everything u said. it’s so beautiful and realistic.

i played as girl v but i plan on going and replaying as boy v eventually!! i played before phantom liberty was released so i need to buy that and give it a try. the voice acting and visuals are what really make the game for me, i love all the characters you get to know. not many games have characters that feel so realistic but i found myself being weirded out by how lifelike they were sometimes. uncanny valley vibes or something. also, i really liked that npcs had sexualities rather than being player-sexual like so many games are, so depending what gender you pick, you get locked out of certain romance options. loved that. can’t wait to explore the romance options with boy v and see what else changes.

johnny is unreasonably hot. one very minor complaint: of all the people i get to fuck in the game, i can’t fuck my engram? unfair tbh. johnny should be telling v what to do while they get themselves off or something idk. ive somehow never thought to look up cyberpunk fic but i know what i’m doing tonight now.

i don’t remember what my skills were exactly, but i think i had focus on body, reflexes, and intelligence. they’ve overhauled the skill trees since i played, so idk how my game compares, but i used a katana and a shit ton of quickhacks and i didn’t have too much trouble! it’s very fun to run around hacking and slashing. i don’t remember the boss fight at the end of play it safe being too difficult. there were a few cyberpsychos that made me quit the game for the night but that boss fight didn’t take too much out of me. i cant wait to hear what ending you get and what you think of phantom liberty when you get to it !!

nooo don’t apologise this is such good advice tysm!! 💕 i’ve been in the mines and got some good stuff (and a sword!!) and the tv tip is SO good omg. i’m def gonna have a look through the wiki and start actually figuring out a bit of a strategy to how i’m playing instead of just clicking random shit lmao.

i picked the standard farm! i’m kinda curious to try one of the others at some point tho, i was gonna do the spooky one but then i figured i should probably start simple lmao

YES to all that, as cringe as the pov sex scenes are at times i do kinda love the way it’s incorporated into the storylines and the way you can play as queer (i had great fun with the sex workers in jig-jig street when i first started playing lol) — i had an interesting moment a couple of days ago where i had an option to kiss someone of the same sex who gently rejected me, it’s pretty nuanced which is cool!

okay i feel slightly less terrified of that fight now lmao, i’m trying to train myself to rely more on stealth and quickhacking rather than just panicked shooting which sounds like it’s prob the way to go here too so fingers crossed!

#gaming tag #answered

[ritualofthehabit]

My experience with gender dysphoria has changed significantly over time and sometimes I’ll make jokes about being a detransitioner to my close friends bc tbh I rly did just read as a gay boy fr years and as a metal head boy for years before that. I never took T but wanted to and idk if I’d be happier or not if I took it. Probably not I’m not sure? I think I’m rly happy with the level of androgyny my appearance is already at, T would probably make me feel good about a lot of things like my voice but basically since like 2019 I’ve been super feminine and have a comfort and joy in that femininity. Having grown up So tomboy So masculine and leaning into this femme fatale punk look lowkey makes me feel more trans than ever, like this current gender presentation is a new feeling!!! But also having lived with a fluidity of gender and multiple presentations I’m keenly aware of how to manipulate people’s behavior towards me by presenting a certain way. And tbh currently I’m very comfortable being read as a woman which I would not have been at other points of life!! I’m regards to vocal changes I do not like my speaking voice much but I LOVE my singing voice…. Years ago I would have hated that toooo but tbh I had to like go thru the garbage dump pile of my own extreme internalized misogyny and I love having a hyper feminine voice. I actually feel like a huge part of my feelings rn and my comfort generally in femininity is a huge fuck you to that internalized bullshit and also expectations of women… like yes I’m pretty af lmao I could also kick ur ass in a heartbeat and will! Also a huge factor has been me embracing being a lesbian and feeling SEEN in that way… being hot n feminine and sexually and socially unavailable to men is literallllllly wild not for tha weak of heart to b a femme lesbian and lemme tell you my existence pisses dudes off SO much

[bongkillua]

im SUPER late to the ask game however. 5 & 9 for all of them

anon you are never too late i love talking abt these guys and these r rly good questions

5. How did you figure out your oc’s identity?

TUCKER - Tucker's has definitely ebbed and flowed with my own identity! He initially had a very different backstory that was explicitly about him being a stealth and closeted gay trans man. the way i played him made it so that it didnt really work for him to be trans but i hate playing cis characters so there was some weird magic and memory shit involved to make it work. but it just didnt make sense with the reworked story. took it as an opportunity to make him more openly trans but he was still an exclusive gay man for a while. and well then xander came around and i realized i was bisexual so now tucker is unlabeled because i just know hes going to keep changing with me. but like i truly dont think his character can wholly by separated from Gay Trans Man because so much of his personality and identity was built around that in the beginning.

XANDER - i made xander for the sole purpose of having fun with him. like seriously i made him for a school assignment because i didnt have a "cunty, whorish enough" character for the assignment and then she just stuck around so like... her identity has always just been "whatever is fun!" in the beginning he was like explicitly transmasc but i was playing around with using she/her pronouns for myself again so i gave them to xander to see if it would help me gain more confidence and it did! as i fleshed her out more tho her backstory started to rly revolve around changing identity and like specifically masculinity vs. femininity and how she performs both, and wuth that came the idea of transitioning back and forth over periods of time. because of THAT i wanted her to be really into drag because thats what drag is all about... and because shes rly into drag i wanted to explore her relationship to the transFEMININE experience because drag really cant be separated from that. so ive rly focused on embodying binary identities as performance for her gender. and because she sleeps around a lot ive just made her super fluid in terms of sexuality. shes not picky!

JORDAN - jordan was a he/they from the jump but i struggled a lot with their design and development for like YEARS but once i finally started fleshing them out i was immediately like "nah this guy prefers they/them and tacks he on for normies" and it genuinely helped me solidify his perception of not only their own identity but also life in general? theyre very "go with the flow because theyre extremely confident in themself and dont care how others perceive them". and then bisexual just seemed Right. idk. he sorta embodies "cool bisexual kid in high school that helps u realize ur also queer" and i just kinda went with the stereotype lol. also he seems like a Megan Fox Enjoyer.

KONAMI - i designed konami at a time where i was rly interested in the intersection of neurodivergence and queerness so his identity was def informed by that! along with queerness in childhood as a theme. ive always associated aesthetics like his with the rise in usage of neopronouns (in a good way!) so it just made sense to have them use it/its. if i wasnt a coward id throw some more fun pronouns on there but konami is also just a little guy so i honestly default to he/him a lot in the same way that you'd refer to like. a dog. and once again bisexual just made sense. i established pretty early on that his parents were super accepting of him being trans (konami was a binary trans guy when he was alive!) so i feel like sexuality just wasnt a huge concern for him.

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THIS IS LITERALLY THE ENTIRE UNDERLYING PREMISE OF WOLFSBANE SO HERE WE GO LOL

TUCKER- ok so the more independent tucker became as a character the more i really leaned into how lycanthropy influences his identity and specifically his queerness. its always been a big part of his story but i rly got to Focus on it once he was mine and mine alone. so in wolfsbane lycanthropy is like. almost directly a metaphor for neurodivergence and like. how do i say this. Being Weird And Feeling Wrong As A Child. which you could argue also makes it a metaphor for transness but like i feel like his lycanthropy makes him trans in other separate ways? like lycanthropy in wolfsbane canonically causes an increase in testosterone production so tucker naturally has facial hair and body hair and a rly deep voice and "male-aligned" body fat distribution. despite being afab. and thats like a big struggle in the story bc his father wants him to Hide that but tucker is very Confident in that, both because he wants to embrace being a werewolf but ALSO because it gives him gender euphoria. and it takes him a LONG time to figure out that those are simultaneously separate things ("im not trans i just look like this!" (you are. you are trans)) and also intrinsically tied (transness as a feeling of Other as opposed to a distinct Gender Identity). AUGH idk if that makes sense. sexuality works pretty similarly. tucker has to repress a lot of himself because his family is scared that his lycanthropy will make him unruly and uncontrollable, and that he will hurt WHOEVER he loves. and in trying to control him they want him to Assimilate (aka Be Heterosexual). so he faces a similar struggle where he spends a long time trying to figure out if hes queer because he Likes Men or if hes queer because he Likes People, BOTH of which have been withheld from him.

XANDER- xander is an energy vampire and relies a lot on the balance between Taking and Giving. this means that he has to hide his true identity and give people a false one in order to get what he needs from them. and when you are performing an identity day in and day out is it really a performance anymore? or is it such a performance that it cant possibly be who you are? so thats like the Central struggle that vampirism invokes onto his identity. sexuality works similarly (can you tell that i have a hard time distancing gender from sexuality?) where he spends so much time forging these fake bonds and hooking up with anyone who will give him the time of day that he really doesnt have the time, energy, or maturity to figure out who he's Truly attracted to. her constant need to perform makes it nearly impossible for her to feel authentic in any way.

JORDAN- im gonna start sounding like a broken record at this point but my understanding of transness and queerness is so far removed from the idea of gender itself that i have no choice but to talk about identity as a whole. SORRY. anyways jordan's identity is heavily influenced by his schizophrenia and his dad. and the way THAT influences him is that he wants to Minimize his body because they do not feel attached to their body at all. and Maximize his ability to Reflect his Father because those experiences were the most important to him. so like. really thinking about it now i feel like a big reason why they even identify as transmasc is a. They Need To Remove Any Unnecessary Part Of Their Body NOW And That Means The Tits Have Got to Go amd b. he can distance himself from who he was as a child and align himself with his FATHER who is like the most important and influential figure in his life. in terms of sexuality they're kind of similar to xander but like the reverse side of the coin? They are so authentically themself that its hard for them to find room in their life for another person. so like while jordan identifies as bisexual i often say they also align themself with aromanticism because romance is just very difficult for him to figure out. a lot of the times it boils down to utility over attraction. which works for some people! (tucker) and not for others (all of his ex's).

KONAMI- konami died and forgot what gender and sexuality were. i explain this more HERE but because of konami's history it doesnt have a reference point for what gender Is. so a lot of his identity boils down to concepts as opposed to things like masculinity and femininity. i really want to do more deep exploration into how tucker, xander, and jordan's queerness influences konami's own identity as well as his perception of gender and identity but i guess for a quick answer he latches onto Connecting Words before he latches onto Individual Labels. so things like "dad" and "aunt" make more sense to him than "man" and "woman" because they have a purpose and a role attached to them. but then again those roles have been defined by queer people who don't perfectly fit into the Status Quo of that role but enact/perform it in unique and nuanced ways. this is also why he more quickly latches onto "son" and "boy" (and specifically how boy fits into a Family structure) than any other gendered labels. again like ive stated before, bisexual came pretty easily because with a lack of gender awareness just came an understanding that gender wasn't a factor in regards to attraction. hence bisexual.

this is so long omfg but what it all boils down to is um. my relationship to queerness is founded on experience, intersectionality, and bodily autonomy, not gender as its own concept. so nonhuman identities (and sometimes just Different Human identities) are always going to influence identity and Be A Metaphor for HOW experience influences identity and vis versa.

#tucker #xander #jordan #konami #wolfsbane #i hope this makes sense christ almighty #category 6 million autism event #anoff #blurry answers #mine

[lmages-remade]

Have you ever considered you might have like, a dissociative Thing along with the add? Like osdd or smth?

oh i've definitely had periods in my life where i had persistent dissociative symptoms but currently they just don't show up regularly enough or at all for it to be smth I'm really prominently thinking abt

#if this is re. the tags on my art thats actually smth different #whats going on there is that like my gender and sexuality are entangled to such a high degree with my overall mental wellness #that when i pass a certain threshold of like persistent low mood both of them just dip entirely #but yeah there have definitely been points in my life where i was rly having like a persistent out of body experience #large chunks of high school and last winter particularly #but ive never had any symptoms reminiscent of like systems #actually its kind of funny bc um #in a sense i was mentally already very prepared for experiencing the social effects of covid #relative to past experience #even if im not doing exactly Good right now #like im doing significantly better than i was in high school #def a big part of that is having people in my life who i sincerely enjoy being with and also feel comfortable being my honest self around #which was fully not a thing for me prior to about a year ago #idk short answer probably not but youre not inaccurate in asking #when things are Really Bad and also im experiencing chronic sleep deprivation i might dissociate a little bit but thats all #cephalotalks #oh for anyone whos plugged into my mental health saga the fear that ppl are out to get me has tapered off to negligible levels #idk what that was #lol just trying out some new symptoms #anonymous

[ilyuqi]

hey i'm curious since you seem to have rly good/smart opinions about microlabeling and over-labeling within the lgbtq+ community, what are your opinions on xenogenders, neopronouns, & stuff like that?

i think this is when i start to devolve within my opinions because while i’ve had plenty of experience with sexuality and experimenting and knowing what was harmful for me after i grew up and looked back on that period of my life with hindsight, i’ve just began to experiment with gender and neopronouns. i’ve only been using they/them for about 3 years now and learned about neos+xenos and have only used neos for like 1 year?? barely?? mainly because i’m not very sure how else to experiment with my gender but i really don’t know how much harm can really be in them. they seem to make a lot of trans people comfortable . i think i fundamentally and on absolutely no basis have any quarrels on neopronouns, maybe the 🌷self (emoji neos) definitely reek of online creation and certain ones don’t make sense to me irl (444self like huh?????) but besides that i mean, it IS just a pronoun right? and the best part about it is that the concept is so broad it doesn’t force anyone to put themselves into a box or feel like they need a neo. it’s just “hey, there’s more beyond just she/he/they and you’re allowed to experiment around, there’s no “right” neo, just the one you like” and there’s no limitations on it (as opposed to micro labels, where you put very specific feelings under a label and potentially confuse and harm new queer youth) xenos are a little tricky because even i don’t fundamentally understand it, it’s like a gender but outside the binary right? like catgender or idk cookierungender and it’s just objects or just non gender stuff that they have a deep connection too and feel strongly attached to it . i think maybe a problem could be like “georgenotfoundgender” because how healthy is that you know? making a gender identity based on another person just because you feel attached to them, but even then like? at the end of the day my biggest problems with micro labels is the bad reasoning to have them and the fact that despite their unnecessary nature, they still have a place in the lgbtq+ community, despite literally confusing so many new queer kids . a lot of it is just basic feelings that don’t need a label, and aren’t really even a “sexual identity” but moreso a preference that doesn’t belong in the lgbtq+ community . xenos and neos are inherently personal, as gender is something that can be unique to everyone and everyone has very different experiences with, and in no way can you confine someone’s gender identity to a box as gender inherently can’t be confined, there’s so many experiences that it’s just impossible (specifically referring to people under the trans umbrella here) so if people feel like the binary restricts them from their real gender identity, go on! make your own, you’re not in any position to harm anyone and so why would it be wrong? it’s hard for this stuff to translate irl, because our world hasn’t reached that point where we’re okay with accepting everything outside of the binary, but i have hope that as long as neos and xenos don’t harm anyone, there should be no real argument against them and their place within our community

[h0rr0r-enthusiast]

would you consider rambling about asa or jesse? I'm interested in what you have in mind for them

alright i’ve been pushing this off for ages for no good reason so here’s that long awaited list of random hcs about jesse ,, i only have a couple hcs about asa so i think i’d rather rewatch his films or read more about him before i write about him,, until then enjoy this

(uh this will probably get a bit long)

Jesse Cromeans Headcanons

- first things first, the is mf is bi. i don’t make the rules. this guy swf doesn’t care about gender but if u ask him about his sexuality he will either refuse to answer (he probably feels he’s too old for labels) or start askin if ur interested

- idk why but im convinced he's half or a quarter puerto rican. i just feel like his mom was puerto rican and married his dad when she was really young. she died when he was young and primarily lived with his father's side of the family. after his mother's death he lost contact with her side of the family so he doesn't feel a strong connection with his puerto rican heritage. i doubt jesse cares much either. i dont think he's ever felt much of a connection or had much of an interest in learning about his own heritage or family history.

- jesse doesn’t rly like animals, especially ones that shed. he doesn’t like them and they don’t like him, it’s a mutual understanding. he also can’t be bothered to take care of any animal no matter how minimal their care is. he does not want to meet ur dog and i can promise u ur dog does not want to meet him.

- his eyes are a slightly orangey brown w warm undertones,, theyre light enough that you can see all the lil details of his iris w/o any sunlight,,

- a lil more about his eyes ! considering he was stabbed in the eye while on the “job”, he likely didn’t have any time to properly treat it or receive medical treatment for it until after his incident,, obviously that means the eye’s not of any use anymore but i also think it’s likely that the chemicals from the glue on his mask that melted his face off also damaged that bad eye beyond repair,, this leads me to believe he wears a glass eye ! typically when i draw his bad eye it’s a dull grey but that’s just an artistic preference,, tbh he probably has a whole collection of various colors ranging from natural to more fantastical,, i also think he used to have perfect 20/20 vision before but w those glue chemicals being near his eyes he was probably blind for a lil while as he healed from his injuries,, i wouldn’t be surprised if all the blunt force trauma he received from getting hit w a bat damaged his eyesight even more. he probably got laser eye surgery to correct it.

- man definitely has tattoos. im not sure if he'd have full sleeves but i can imagine him gettin em in the future if he doesn't already have em (especially to feel better about his appearance and feel some sense of control over the way he looks). what im absolutely sure of is that he has his whole back inked up. i wanna incorporate his tattoos into my drawings of him but i need to design em first.

- another thing about his appearance- he definitely has his own gym at home. before the incident he likely had his own trainer but i doubt he has one now,, probably trains on his own so he doesnt have to show his face.

- keeps his home neat and tidy, but has house maids do all the dirty work adn heavy lifting for him. all he has to do is keep everything the same until they come back the next week. he also has one special cleaner who gets rid of any blood stains and bloody bandages from wounds. the other maids don't know anything about his less legal activities.

- he never invites one night stands to his home and always throws parties at a separate location. he owns multiple properties and never reveals his home location for both privacy and safety reasons. this was especially true for when his wife was still alive.

- he has a special morning and night routine for his face and its time consuming

- jesse has alopecia and hes had it for as long as he can remember. it's spread more and more over the years so at a young age he just decided to start shaving and waxing his whole body. after he started participating in less than legal activities he found being hairless to be pretty useful. for this reason he got the hair on some parts of his body (primarily arms, hands, and legs) permanantly removed thru laser hair removal. it makes it harder to trace any evidence back to him thru hair.

this is already rly long so im not gonna go any further for now

#mypost #Slashers #slasher fandom #jesse cromeans #chromeskull #laid to rest #laid to rest 2 #slasher headcanons #headcanons #as u can tell i think about this man a lot #he lives in my head rent free

[steal-this-album]

all the odd numbers for the ask game!!

1. How old were you when you found out you were autistic?

i was 15 years old, as in this year :'D i am self dx but my counselor is Suspecting Something untreated lol

3. Do you have any comorbidities? Or just autism?

i do!! i have adhd and psychosis (both prof. dx)

5. What do you wish more people knew about autism?

that YES allistics, it DOES suck always being the sexiest and coolest person in the room 😔 /j

7. Do you find it hard to make friends?

most of the time nope! especially with other nd people!! i'm a huge extrovert and i love to drag ppl around if given the right opportunity lol <3 BUT if someone new (usually neurotypicals jdgshsj) gives me a Single Red Flag i will just. instantly lose all interest lmao

9. What was your first special interest?

FUN FACTS!!! <3<3 literally had it ever since i could read lmao

11. If you could give any advice to your younger self, what would it be?

question your gender. then do it again. then question your sexuality. then question your ge- (basically. embrace who you are n what you like!! it's good and natural to have "phases"!!! do whatever makes you happy!!!!)

13. Tell us an autistic person that you really look up to.

uhh um uh *points at my mutual* hi @autistic--cryptid i rly like ur stim blogs and ur super nice <3<3

15. Have you ever received any accommodations for your autism in either school or work?

yep! i haven't had an official job yet, but for school i did have an IEP and then a 504 plan for a few years. recently they discontinued it (and set up a more informal plan) because i've been doing good in schoolwork (mostly /pos). atm it's mostly getting alternatives for public speaking, being able to step out of class if it's overwhelming, extensions on deadlines, etc

17. Do you own any stim toys? Which is your favorite?

yes!! and I LOST MY FAVORITE ONEEE idk where it is :[ i have these (first one is my fav i lost, all the colors shown are the same ones i have)

ID: three fidget toys. They are an orange chain key ring, a yellow fidget cube, and blue and pink liquid motion timer. / End ID

i also have a fidget pen but it broke :[

19. What kinds of things are sensory hell for you?

fabrics are a Big Deal to me :'] i absolutely hate fleece sherpa and faux fur. a lot of blankets are just Bad Feeling to me so i like to use bath towels (which also have to be a certain texture lol). also MY CIELING FAN AAGHH when it's on, the blades get in the way of the light and it makes things flash slightly so i can't look up. idk if that makes sense but yea

21. How open are you usually when it comes to being autistic?

somewhat open ig, esp since i don't have a formal diagnosis. i still talk a lot about my Symptoms lol

23. What's the longest you've ever had a special interest for?

uhhh idk how to tell?? for me it's like i've always had them, i just primarily fixate on different ones at different times. but again i've had fun facts pretty much since i could read lol

25. Do you have shutdowns?

yea, more often than meltdowns

27. Do you have any vocal stims or echolalia?

yes a lot!! i vocal stim a lot more with both noises, phrases, and songs, but my echolalia is mostly of noises or single words ^^

29. Are your friends and/or family accepting of your autism?

they're very accepting of my other neurodivergence + disability stuff, so it won't be a big deal lol

31. Do you have a comfort item? If you feel comfortable with it, then show it to us.

YESS THESE MY BELOVEDS!! the coraline doll was made by someone my mom knew and given to me as a christmas/birthday gift, since coraline is a spin of mine ^^ i've had the dog since i was a baby lol, and it makes a lot of Good Noises like rattling (in the paws) and crinkling (on the ears) :D

ID: two stuffed toys against the lap of OP, who is wearing a blue shirt and yellow pants. The first is a hand-crocheted doll of Coraline (from the movie Coraline). The second is a multicolored dog, which is mostly red, and each of its paws are a different color. The bottoms of its paws are reflective. / End ID

33. Foods you are sensitive to (maybe because of bad texture for instance)?

fatty meats :[ which unfortunately comes up a lot bc i'm mexican lol. also tomatoes 😔

35. Have you ever used a weighted blanket?

i have one!! i don't use it that often because my bed is small and i can't move around a lot on it lol, so it gets a bit frustrating to readjust :P

37. Do you enjoy holidays or are they sensory hell to you?

OK WELL. i love the holidays bc yayy fun giving gifts to friends or whatever but i CANNOT STAND the ""holiday"" themed scents. At All. the thanksgiving/christmas Sugar Cinnamon Roll Gingerbread Party Explosion shit is so fucking overwhelming and I Hate It. and my english teacher puts on a wax burner in her room w that stuff :[

39. What's the most comfortable/sensory friendly outfit you own?

actually the one i have on rn is pretty cool lol. the shirt is a very loose and soft button up, and also yellow sweatpants bc yellow is my favorite color and Sweatpants Are Comfy. also shirts that feel crocheted/knitted are very nice <3

41. If you date people then would you prefer to date other autistic people?

i do prioritize all relationships with neurodivergent people lol, so yeah it would be nice :]

43. If you could have any item related to your special interest what would it be?

uhh UHHH hm. if it counts then i want moshi monsters back 😔😔

45. Favorite autistic celebrity?

i see @jupitrr in posts in the wild so fle is a celebrity in my mind <3

47. Do you happy flap?

yeap!!! with my hands and my wings lmao :D i also do i ton of other happy stims, like snapping my fingers, shaking my fists, jumping, groaning, shaking my arms, clapping, and hitting my head lol

49. What's something you find hard to do because of autism?

EYE CONTACT.... also wording my thoughts + feelings :[ a bunch of other things too but mostly those

ask game link

#apollo ask tag #this was A Lot omg /pos #TYSMMM <3<3 /gen i love ask games n stuff lol #caps #emojis #described #swearing #long post #dolls

[horde-princess]

re: your posts about noelle's memoir, the imagery is obviously about their religious trauma but its really neat to me how its resonated with so many people in different ways? it hit me really hard because I'm trans and feel like i didnt really get a childhood because of that so i rly relate to the like. there is a part of you missing that everyone else has and youre never going to fully get rid of it thing (all of her autobio stuff is so good and is like. 90% of why i picked up art again lmfao)

absolutely!!!! ❤️💖 thank you so much for sharing that w me.. yeah noelle has this talent for expressing things in a universally relatable way bc the symbolism in her art can be interpreted in multiple ways like, i think gender identity is something thats prominent in her work across the board since shes been on a journey with that as well. along with sexuality and religious trauma and mental health, all 4 are intimately related so the symbolism gets pretty layered and with she-ra at least it has created a rly vibrant fan community :) idk exactly what my point is lkjdfd but i love your thoughts on this its really important to talk about. and im soo glad you decided to pick up art again!!!!! id love to see some of your work if youd like to share!

#asks/replies #anyone else see her selfies earlier and just immediately pass out

[cupofkey]

howdy! do you have a favorite hetalia character? if you do, what are some headcanons you have about them? could be anything you vibe with

ooh this is a good one... here’s the thing, my fav character changes constantly, and it’s usually the one I can relate to/project onto the most during that period of my life LMAO. also if I’m writing something about them as a main character that means They Are My Fav Rn, regardless of whether they were before or not. so I’m currently softening up to miss Vietnam rn... Japan, Iceland, and Romano have been my other significant favs. I like the closed off ones lmao

ok but. rambling aside let’s talk about vietnam also bc im viet so I feel I have stuff to contribute lol.

- historically vietnam as like. a concept. began in the north of the country, so she’s a northerner to me

- food. food is so so important to her. I was thinking of writing a whole thing about this, basically food plays a massive cultural role in vietnam, and her cuisine is something she’s really proud of. she’s also a really good and resourceful cook, and she can make a lot of stuff taste good.

- her favorite food is phở period. I mean she’s a fuckin northerner the north has the best pho on the planet. one of her favorite things to do is go out early in the morning on her bike to one of those pho stands on the sidewalk, sit on a plastic stool, and chat with the owner over a bowl of pho

- another pho headcanon, she likes plenty of lime and pepper with a squeeze of hot sauce. NO hoisin sauce it pollutes the broth 😤

- other foods she rly likes: mì quảng which is a noodle dish from the central regions, super spicy and delicious. also, a good sponge cake (génoise), which is obviously not viet, but she really likes that kinda stuff. it’s not too sweet and really good with fruit

- speaking of france, they have a fine relationship nowadays, but she has no fondness or patience for him. I don’t consider ex-colonies the “kids” of the colonizer unless ya know their whole population was replaced, and that applies here too. she also doesn’t like french and hated the period where she had to learn it and speak it. literally the only thing she cares about is his food LMAO

- idk I generally feel that nations are very much the cultural aspect of things, and they are definitely connected with their people, but I don’t feel they have much connection with the government at all. that’s my personal hc though, I do like to dabble in other interpretations, but this is my preference. anyways same for her. she might as well just be an immortal viet person to me

- extension of this, I think nation people have relationships that are separate from politics and that kinda stuff. so I feel vietnam’s reputation as a nation among other nations is a decent one (compared to vietnam’s reputation as a country dkjsfjdks). idk I feel she very much does her thing and minds her own business, and so most nations are chilling with her. she takes no shit

- oh also taiviet is popular and yea I’m guilty of loving it too they are in my wip 😔 look taiwan is just so cool and she does all this trendy stuff and she’s so fashionable and she’s nice and funny and encouraging... tell me how can a girl not fall for that 😔😔😔

- side note I’ve mentioned vietnam having a strong tradition of female generals/warriors, but pre-colonial gender nonconformity and homosexuality was something that was also very real and very accepted. men and women were essentially on the same level and if you didn’t conform to that well you were still on the same level. ofc this was condemned by europeans, shifted by confucianism, etc, and nowadays being queer is not exactly 100% fine in vietnam, but there is still a big specifically Vietnamese subculture of sapphics who use the term “les”. (obviously from “lesbian” but the meaning and connotation is different. if you wanna read more check out the wikipedia article for a good start.) basically my point here is vietnam futch. she has no shame about her sexuality. She Likes Girl

god this was super long but I haven’t really thought of this much stuff for her... so it’s a win! thanks for asking :)

#hetalia #hws #aph #hws vietnam #my hcs #les subculture is so iconic #family secret but my aunt is les #i mean like i think im the only one who knows #but yea viet lesbians/sapphics have been a thing since forever #and idk I just really. I really see it for hws vietnam

[nijimurakyo]

Please do Kakyoin and Pucci for the ask hcs thingy! (Or Josuke if you don't want to do/have already done one of those two!)

👾 KAKYOIN 🍒

sexuality headcanon: i love self-projecting (plus!!!! i think araki confirmed it idk) so he's bisexual!!!!! :D

gender headcanon: non biney. they've got no binary. insert video game pun here today no gender no nothing

a ship i have with her: ignoring all the other gross fans of it (i am looking AWAY) i rly do think j*takak works in a character foil for each other sorta way, plus it's just funny to me bc I think they fake-date but for real fake

a brotp i have with them: I THINK HIM AND ABDUL GET ALONG LIKE GENUINELY THATS UH *INCOHERENT MUMBLING* FUCKING they often talk abt mythology together and the fact that abdul also had his stand since childhood tells me they'd get along so well (plus that's why he wasn't there for the death 13 arc he'd believe kak plus that baby's a fucking tiyanak) and polnareff too even tho she's so mean to him (bc pol and kaks dynamic reminds me of me and my kuya ^__^)

a notp i have with him: well i don't wanna say any of the ships but y'know. anyone else bc as much as I'm "eh" towards it at least jotaros her age shipping him w anybody else makes me feel so gross

a random headcanon: having met his pinoy relatives (from mom's side) they were convinced hierophant was a dead relative's spirit for a long while guarding him bc pinoy superstition and all, that's why his mom scolds her family for making him think that way bc she hasn't grown out of hierophant. ALSO that's what he discusses with abdul!!!!!

general opinion over them: hugest cc ever oh my GOD the way most people treat him makes me froth at the mouth i only trust certain people about her but he's also another genuinely great character and i feel like even if he could've been used for great potential his final battle with dio wraps up his character nicely so he's played his part well.

🌙 PUCCI ⭐

sexuality headcanon: he's gay. *pointing* fruit (affectionate)

gender headcanon: i like to think of him as a trans man!!!

a ship i have with him: sorry pucci you deserved so much better also i don't ship him w anyone ¯\_( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )_/¯

a brotp i have with him: MAN it's gonna sound weird but if he were to get a redemption arc with aus I'd say jolyne, yes it's bc I remember that comic where he says he'll officiate her foo fighters wedding since she can't marry ermes. Yes I'm emotional thinking about him and jotaro too, it's also gonna take a lot of therapy and i don't think they'll ever think of him as great but him and weather...... fuck..

a notp i have with him: EASILY DI///OPUCCI GIRL HELP HE WAS 16 WHEN THEY MET........ i like to think that dios his fucked up roommate and also: pucci being his kids fucked up godfather

a random headcanon: him finding out he could insert random music discs into people to play them like a radio was entirely by accident when he decided to look cool by flinging one at someone like a frisbee only to find out it wasn't a memory or stand disc, he's seen them so much he just mistook it as his stand disc

general opinion over him: hes such a tragic character but also so beautifully written, araki knows to give villains fucked endings but he's one of the few who got a respectful death (choked out by an 11-year old which in comparison, is better than i don't know eternal limbo as a detective, infinite death loop by 15-year old or sent to space never to die EVER), he deserves good things but also he was a priest there had to be some sort of retribution for that (what word was it i forgot)

⚓ JOSUKE 💎

sexuality headcanon: SHES GAY BABEY!!!!!

gender headcanon: trans man who uses she/her!!!! luv the self-projection here

a ship i have with her: COME ON THE JOSUYASU DUOS SO ICONIC THEY LIKE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT!!!!! luv rowdy teenagers in love what can I say :]

a brotp i have with her: listen. listen dude. yukako and her hair buddies and SERIOUSLY when them and okuyasu were having a lunch date during that one episode r*han punches a kid i couldn't stop thinking about their friendship 🥺 also twins au lives in my mind rent-free

a notp i have with her: jos////uhan shippers don't look at me or I'll dropkick you into the nightmare dimension i SWEAR TO GOD YALL DONT KNOW WHAT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP LOOKS LIKE AND IM NOT GONNA POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS REASONS WHY ITS BAD

a random headcanon: she's a gardener ^__^ people think she's the one helping her mom with it but it's the other way around, she's the one who bought the stuff for her and assists in uh. dirt activities!! idk if it's also canon but her mom does know about crazy diamond, she had to tell her dad that josukes ok and to stop worrying

general opinion over her: BABY YOU ARE MY. ANGEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY best jojo and favorite jojo i *vibrating at the speed of sound * she's so cute and awesome and I love her sm 🥺🥺🥺🥺 the one thing keeping me from wishing j*seph out of existence was her how the fuck the worst jojo produced best jojo i once asked myself, well that's simple it's bc he didn't raise her 😌 girlboss milf tomoko did and that's fucking awesome

#ask games #asks #mx-kirayoshikage #I DID ALL OF THEM WELL BC IM IN A MOOD also theres no other asks #ty for sending btw ^_^ #noriaki k #enrico p #josuke h #op #long post

[matoitech]

cinderpelt, mothwing, ashfur?

cinderpelt:

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian

Gender Headcanon: nonbinary, i like transfem hcs too, she/it/he

A ship I have with said character: idk cant think of anything

A BROTP I have with said character: for some reason i got confused and thought she was friends w cloudtail and now i think that thats actually rly funny and should happen bc they were both apprentices of firestar

A NOTP I have with said character: firestar :| for obvious reasons. she did not have a crush on him i dont care what the erins say

A random headcanon: in my head she has always been a very small cat, brackenfur and thornclaw are small too. brighthearts the only one that is Big

General Opinion over said character: i like her i think shes neat, i wish we’d gotten more from her pov when her sister was injured in the med den but i think the erins forgot they were related. i dont think i have to say anything abt her being reborn as an able bodied cat so she could ‘live the life she couldnt as her poor sad miserable disabled 1st self’ was a terrible fucking idea. although- starclan making that decision for her even though she fought against it bc they think they know best could b another ‘starclan DOES consider the living clans playthings of them’ in po3 bc the three (and squirrelflight and leafpools conflict) all have to do w that already. oots au where they actually fight STARCLAN or smth

mothwing:

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian

Gender Headcanon: transfem nonbinary, she/they, maybe he around close friends

A ship I have with said character: mothpool ofc

A BROTP I have with said character: sorreltail just cuz i think leafpools girlfriends being bros would b sick

A NOTP I have with said character: i hate her w crowfeather. i do not like that

A random headcanon: in my brain mothwings fear of water due to almost drowning as a kid just happened to b 2 a lesser extent than hawkfrosts and eased off quicker as she worked thru it in riverclan, but she grew up lonelier in the clan and missed her mom more than he did

General Opinion over said character: shes one of my fave wc characters i love her very much and am very annoyed about whatever tbc is doing w her character. mothwing is not an asshole and she more than anyone would be able to relate to and have sympathy for shadowsight being manipulated by someone he thought he could trust, if i was rewriting tbc id write her as being protective of him to defend him from his clanmates and for them to have a good relationship. not whatevers happening now i think this conflict is stupid and ooc. i like that shes went from not believing in starclan to being vocally against them and distrustful of their existence bc shes literally right. also why didnt she get to talk to tawnypelt ever

ashfur:

Sexuality Headcanon: het

Gender Headcanon: cis. u ask him what his pronouns are and he gets rly offended and does one of those cis ppl speeches abt how pronouns arent real 

A ship I have with said character: no one. why would you make anyone be w him

A BROTP I have with said character: wasnt he friends w thornclaw or am i misremembering. i feel like that would make sense given thornclaws personality is asshole

A NOTP I have with said character: brambleash and hawkash i fucking hate them. ik ppl dont think too hard about it and its common to hc shitty dude chars (in this case ash) as mlm cuz ppl think its funny but it feels kinda insulting 2 me. most other wc villains i dont care but ashfur isnt cool enough to b an lgbt villain. i also hate squirrel w him obviously but that goes w/o saying

A random headcanon: idk he reminds me of remi tho

General Opinion over said character: fuck this guy. hollyleaf was right

#thank u anon #fess replies #anon #wc #my hot take: mlm ashfur sucks and isnt funny #my eye twitches #uhh #drowning #ableism #for blacklist #long post