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theharellan · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: stolen from @dansiere tagging: @ghiassan, @deathsreflection, @altuspavus, @windrunnerrs (velanna), @hopewrought, @willbeshot, @seahaloed (iron bull), @asterfed (noctis), @ anyone who wants to steal it! also multis feel free to choose a different character

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated (i’m open to roleplaying with non-dragon age characters, and have AUs for other fandoms)

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. solas is both wildly popular and wildly hated. he’s been more consistently popular than the controversial women in the series, like sera or vivienne, who have only recently begun to get to the point where their tags are less vitriolic (although i’m sure it’s still out there), but there’s still a sizable hatedom that can’t have his name breathed in their vicinity w/o them talking abt how much they hate him. even if you’re currently cosplaying him!

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. again, you have ppl who are super into him and ppl who think he’s ugly. my personal opinion is that i think he’s weirdly pretty, and wish ppl would commit more to his unconventional features rather than try to chisel him into sb more traditionally attractive and that ppl who don’t find him attractive would maybe chill w/ calling him ugly. find him unattractive by all means, but lets embrace the fact that inquisition let their love interests have skin flaws etc and accept that some won’t be our cups of tea.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. its hard to deny at this point tbh.

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. frustrating as the hate in the tags he has enough fans that i couldnt say he’s underrated w/ a straight face.

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO. he’s the reason the game starts with a bang and not the inevitable dissolution of the conclave b/c the sides are disparate.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. regardless of solas’ relationship with the inquisitor, there are parallels and contrasts in their stories and he also is the reason they survive inquisition.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. fen’harel is well-known and revered, if feared, among the dalish, yet at the same time he’s not remembered for a lot besides locking the gods away-- and the context of that decision has also been lost. as solas he’s relatively unknown until inquisition and especially trespasser.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. again, polarising!! he has loyal agents and people are willing to speak well of him despite everything, including his enemies sometimes (depending mostly on the inquisitor).

How strictly do you follow canon? — generally i try to have a canon basis for my interpretation, even if i interpret the text differently than the author.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — solas is an immortal who is simultaneously jaded and very much invested in the small moments of life. far from being weary of the day-to-day lives of ordinary people, it is systems and orders he is most tired of. he walks an interesting line that feels far less misanthropic than other immortal characters i’ve experienced, yet still he’s quite cynical. as a character who has fought against religious based tyranny before, but in a completely different era, he is in a unique position where what he sees around him is both horrifyingly familiar and yet completely new. it allows an exploration of the wrongs of thedas’ society from an outsider’s perspective. his motivations are complex and multifaceted, often condemnable and yet also understandable. his character arc in inquisition (if befriended, or regardless in the case of my solas) takes him from a dispassionate, disconnected antagonist to someone deeply invested in the people of thedas, deeply conflicted and actively hoping he will be proven wrong again. i think his story is a testament to human (or elven, or dwarven, or-) connection and how even when we resist we can’t resist creating bonds with the people in our lives. i personally see this bond going beyond the inquisitor hence why i play low-approval solas as conflicted as high-approval, if not when it comes to the inquisitor.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — solas is selfish and motivated solely by revenge, he’s clinging to a past that clearly no longer exists, if you ignore all the people from it who are still alive. he’s totally unaware of all his flaws and never owns up to any mistakes ever. no, i haven’t listened to a single word solas has said in my life why do you ask. he’s also critical of my faves which means he’s #cancelled, there is clearly no validity to what he’s saying. ksjdf no but in all seriousness i think a lot of reasons ppl don’t find solas interesting are just... weird readings of his character that sometimes have no basis in the text of inquisition, but also there are plenty of perfectly valid reasons to not find him interesting. usually those ppl don’t like... talk abt how much they don’t find him interesting constantly tho. they just chill and aren’t invested in this particular villain. for one thing i think the game missed out on opportunities for exploring how someone who may not have even had a body at the beginning of his existence would feel about gender and sexuality, so making him presumably straight and cis was a boring choice. i also think that the dragon age games being very protagonist-centric hurts solas’ character, there’s no real reason why the inquisitor is the only one who can throw his plans into question but making the player the center of the universe means he’s not allowed to change due to the effects of other companions or NPCs. thank god this is rp and i do what i want.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — i have a history degree so when the inquisition companions were being teased, solas describing bias in primary sources from the memories he’s seen got me interested in him. but my first playthrough i didn’t actually take him with me all too often, i think my main party was dorian-blackwall-varric. i liked him, and i think he or dorian were my first friends in skyhold, but my initial interest was in other characters. between his dialogue that appealed to the historian in me tho and how his spirit opinions sort of turned everything i’d felt about spirits in the last two games on its head, i started vibing with him more the farther i went in. like merrill set me up for the “spirits are people” thing and solas hit it out of the park. then temple of mythal happened, and i did bring solas with me there. i found his dialogue fascinating and also suspicious, i’d just finished masked empire like the day before da:i came out so i definitely thought solas was an ancient elf in the same vein as felassan. it was after temple of mythal that i actually decided to make his blog, although like as one idk linchpin to cement my status as solas trash... i was hit BAD by the banter bug on my first playthrough, probably got like a dozen banters total. but then at some point late in the game i took solas to the forbidden oasis and he wouldn’t stop talking to people, and i really loved his banter with the rest of my party at the time.

What keeps your inspiration going? — replaying inquisition, new DA content when the bioware gods deign to grant us a lifeline, but the biggest thing is my rp partners. i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the people i write with, new and old. my activity of late hasn’t been the best, work and the summer heat has really been sapping me of energy, and does even during years when we aren’t going through a pandemic. but it’s the thought of my rp partners and love of solas that keeps me coming back.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? i have my doubts sometimes, but i think i do ok.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / SORT OF? there is no headcanon too small for me.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. but not lately * gestures to the low activity * i’ve been in this cycle where i get anxious abt late replies, so prioritise them, then burn myself out and can’t write the fics i want. i’ve had two i’ve been DYING to write tho i just... need to find the space in my brain to let myself.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. i mean it depends on the day. if i work closing shifts at my store it gets very quiet and boring around 8:30 so i spent the next 90 minutes thinking about character stuff.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF?

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO / SOMETIMES.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO / SORTA.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — i’m going to say ‘no’ because like, i don’t ask for criticism. this is a hobby based on my interpretation of a character, if you think i write solas too soft then you’re welcome to think that, but i’m happy with the balance i’ve struck with his internal versus external behaviour and how he changes based upon who he’s speaking to. if you think i’m erasing straight people by making solas pan then ksjdfs. ok.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — yes!!! even if they retread ground already trodden, a) my interpretation may have adjusted since the last time i played or b) a reminder is nice. if it’s new stuff then it’s fun to think about.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — it’d depend on why they disagree. if they just disagree on a subjective opinion about what i took from a certain line, then they’re welcome to their opinion but i don’t necessarily care to hear it. if it is unintentionally hurtful then i would like to know. although rather than a comment i’d rather a non-anonymous message.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — same as the above.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — if they’re vocal about it i typically just unfollow / softblock if i was following in the first place. people can feel how they want about solas, but i’ve found over the years that if people really hate solas ooc it can often bleed into their ic interactions. it’s really weird seeing your character being brought up repeatedly in threads with others specifically to dunk on, for no reason other than i guess solas is living rent free in their heads, so at least we have that in common. but anyway unfollowing is just the best choice to avoid getting kinda pressed if i’m having a bad day.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — roleplay is the wild west of writing, so i think it’d depend on what the error was. coming at me like “you shouldn’t start a sentence with a preposition” would get a laugh, but i don’t edit my replies much if at all and mistakes will 100% happen. pointing out typos is chill so long as you do it politely.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — it depends! i’ve learned that being too easy going actually just means i’m subjecting myself to negative emotions to please people. so i’ve gotten less easy going as the years go by. how does one define “easy going” anyway? does asking that question mean i am objectively not easy going? the longer this thought goes on the more the answer seems to be “probably not,” but i like to think it could be a lot worse.

#( long post )#( ooc )#( about me )

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thomas-mvller · 4 years

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Tag games x 283129

Hello everyone so uh lately i've started to be more active on my music sideblog which means i've been hearting stuff like crazy for the past couple of months aka all the things i've been tagged in has been buried under all that nonsense SO because i hate leaving things undone i thought on doing them all at once and tagging a bunch of people so they can get a little distraction by doing them (as in, not all of them but whichever they might want to do)

Again: you do not have to do all of them, not even one if you don't feel like doing so! there's a game for everyone so hey!

Tagging: @havertsz @foreverbayern @germanynts @sherlockisonfire @debushit @sadiiomane10 @miasanmuller @elishamanning @abcde-fc @bbjim @littletentaclemonster @tamtam-elizabeth @minimalloss @pearfight and whoever wants to do this! if you see it, consider yourself tagged >:))

Alright, here we go:

1) I was tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth and @/sadiiomane10 to post a capture of my lockscreen, homescreen and last song i listened to. Thank you both <3

I used to be very annoying when it came to changing my lock/homescreen so now i just don’t do that often anymore (previous to that my homescreen was a pic of lfc winning ucl OBVIOUSLY) also i haven’t really been listening to music lately but i did have a depeche mode phase like two weeks ago and this was the song i replayed the most so hey!

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2) “Get to know me” tag

Tagged by the always thoughtful @/tamtam-elizabeth , thank you and i’m sorry for taking so long ;-; <3

Name: Cloud

Birthday: sometime in november

Zodiac Sign: scorpio

Height: 5′4′’ or 1.65 (last time i checked..... which was like seven years ago)

Hobbies: lately it has been sewing facemasks 😂 that aside i like watching movies, random videos on yt, baking and crafting sometimes

Favorite colors: black, red and teal

Favorite Book: don’t think i have one :o

Last Song Listened to: barrel of a gun by depeche mode

Last Movie Watched: currently watching prince of egypt. if that doesn’t count then ben hur 😂

Inspiration or Muse: i really don’t know what to say here 😂

Dream Job: i still haven’t given up to my goal but at this point i just want a job that gives me stability and zero worries

Reason Behind my URL: Thomas Müller (German pronunciation: [ˈtoːmas ˈmʏlɐ]; born 13 September 1989) is a German professional footballer who plays for Bundesliga club Bayern Munich. A versatile player, Müller plays as a midfielde- okay no in all seriousness yess this url is bc of a football player 😂

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3) Ten songs playlist tag

Tagged by the joy that is @/foreverbayern and the always sweetest @/havertsz . thank youuuuu <3

Rules: We’re snooping through your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then choose 10 victims.

Some months ago I made the mistake of transfering the songs i had in my old computer to my current laptop and there are some stuff that just........ should not be acknowledged so i can’t do shuffle HOWEVER i will choose ten random songs i’ve listened to/discovered this year (technically speaking is the same) so here it is:

art-i-ficial by x-ray spex

sunny afternoon by the kinks

desire lines by lush

paper cuts by incubus

pure love by hayley williams

spirit by bauhaus

no one knows by screaming trees

let’s love by suho

all we need is a dream by cheap trick

cosmonauts by fiona apple

bonus: you’re so close by peter murphy (god i adore this song)

I wouldn’t be surprised if these aren’t your cup of tea tbh 😂

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4) “Core aesthetic” tag

Tagged by @/havertsz - i’m sorry for the delay ;-; and thank you <3

rules: search your name + "core aesthetic" on pinterest, get a moodboard & select a few photos that come up

i can’t really use pinterest so i googled it instead, as you might’ve guessed this is what i got 😂

ps: i’ve been informed not to use pinterest so if you wish follow this post’s indications

ah this is so pretty, i loved doing this!

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Tagged by @/germanynts @/havertsz and @/elishamanning to do this tag, thank you all <3

rules: describe yourself with pictures you already have saved. no downloading or searching for new ones. then tag 10 people.

if you want further explanations for each pic... ask ahead 😂

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6) “bold what applies” tag

Tagged by the always enJoyable @/foreverbayern, thank yoooou <3

rules: bold what applies to you and tag a bunch of people

- Appearance

I am over 5’5 // I wear glasses/contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing // I have one or more piercings (had three...) // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball caps backwards

- Hobbies and interests

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with my friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

Relationships

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have hooked up with my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long-distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

- Aesthetic

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sunrise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep (i did that for a long time and i sicnerely don’t recommend it) // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire (quick story time: one time when i was 12 my friends and i sneaked into our seniors’ school anniversary activities and they lit this huge bonfire near the football field, it was nuts) // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean (spoopy shit) // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // Autumn is my favourite season

- Miscellaneous

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote(s) // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

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my god this is getting embarassing i had stuff long due ;-;

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth. think you for thanking on me when doing tag games, i mean it :-: <3

How old are you?: 24

Surgeries?: one

Tattoos?: none yet ://

Ever hit a deer?: i have never seen one so... no 😂

Sang karaoke?: yeah... years ago 😂

Ice skated?: nope

Ridden a motorcycle?: had the chance but nope

Ridden in an ambulance?: nope

Skipped school?: a handful of times

Stayed in a hospital?: for a few hours

Broken bones?: nope

Last phone call?: i haven’t called anyone in ages 😂

Last text from?: my mom

Pepsi or coke?: coke but i don’t mind having pepsi

Favorite pie?: haven’t had one

Favorite pizza?: chorizo + corn + red pepper

Favorite season?: autumn

Received a ticket?: don’t even know how to drive

Favorite color?: black, red and teal

Sunset or sunrise?: both!

Favorite Christmas song?: don’t think i have one, maybe universe by exo?

Cupcakes or cookies?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good q, cookies?

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8) “find your match” tag game

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth, you’re allowed to punch me in the face at this point

Rules:

Take the test

Reblog this post with what type you got

Tag 7 mutuals to do the same!

I got the Dreamer and my ideal partner would be The Innovator ?)

Seek out opportunities to collaborate with INNOVATOR types, who combine your lofty idealism with a focus on pragmatic solutions. The grounding energy of the INNOVATOR can inspire you to apply your imagination to real-world change.

that’s deep fam 😂 but okay!

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9) “get to know me tag”

Tagged by: @/littletentaclemonster . thank you and sorry for the delay ;-; <3

nickname: cloud zodiac: scorpio height: 5′4″ / 1.65 last movie I saw: can you believe i managed to watch another thing while making this? anyway it was The celluloid closet last thing I googled: block site extension favorite musician: as of right now? depeche mode song stuck in my head: you’re so close by peter murphy other blogs: @/brltpop and @/s-lay-ing amount of sleep: as long as i can get (usually 7 or 8) lucky numbers: don’t think i have one dream job: whatever gives me stability what am I wearing: pajamas favorite food: chinese, mexican and italian language: which ones do i know? spanish and english somewhat. i want to learn japanese and german :c can I play an instrument: nope favorite song: atm is YOU’RE SO CLOSE (8) random fact: my nails usually grow sort of square except for my thumb and index fingers, they grow round for whatever reason describe yourself in aesthetic things: ?????????? idk man, messy room? loose clothes? football? cd’s on a shelf, posters on the walls ?????

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MY GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS?????????

10)

Tagged by @/littletentaclemonster you too can punch me in the face

Rules: Bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR: I have small hands • I love the night sky • I watch small animals and birds when I pass them by • I drink herbal tea • I wake to see dawn • The smell of dust is comforting • I’m valued for being wise • I prefer books to music • I meditate • I find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE: I don’t have straight hair • I like to wear ripped jeans • I play an organized sport • I love dogs • I am not afraid of adventure • I love to talk to strangers • I always try new foods • I enjoy road trips • Summer is my favorite season • My radio is always playing

WATER: I wear bracelets on my wrists • I love the bustle of the city • I have more than one set of piercings • I read poetry • I love the sound of a thunderstorm • I want to travel the world • I sleep past midday most days • I love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • I rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • I see emotions in colors not words

EARTH: I wear glasses/contacts • I enjoy doing the laundry • I am a vegetarian • I have an excellent sense of time • My humor is very cheerful • I am a valued advisor to my friends • I believe in true love • I love the chill of mountain air • I’m always listening to music • I am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER: I go without makeup in my daily life • I make my own artwork • I keep on track of my tasks and time • I always know true north • I see beauty in everything (sort of) • I can always smell flowers • I smile at everyone I pass by • I always fear history repeating itself • I have recovered from a mental disorder • I can love unconditionally

Water an aether huh, i don’t know what to do with this information 😂

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if you ask me i would very much appreciate it if you do the songs playlist tag bc i need recommendations thanks. Also massive apologies to the ones that were due since last year I had them in my drafts i swear!

Stay safe everyone :D

#ask games #yaay!#FINALLY #THE GUILT........ GONE #well this was fun

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magioftheseas · 4 years

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How would you rank the sdr2 girls from worst to best written?

That’s pretty hard considering there are like...different kinds of bad writing, from functional bad to offensive bad. But, then again, there’s both of that in sdr2. Also all but one of the girls who die only die in like... Chapters 2-3, the first half of the game, which come to think of it, is extremely fucking weird. Shouldn’t it be more spaced out...?

There’s also just that there are certain things that annoy me more than others, and I’ll maybe try to make note of that? Idk how solid this list is, but... Well, whatever.

Note: I’m only taking sdr2 proper into account.

Decent All Things Considered Tier

Mahiru - Probably the least amount of sexism in her character, with pretty defined flaws that contributed in her dying (her short temper and narrow-mindedness). Guess you could call them...fatal flaws. Hahahaaaa. Ah. Anyway, she was also fairly involved with story events before her death and her personality was pretty consistent. While there are still some issues and inherent sexism in her personality, at least she...still has...one? A nuanced one, at that? She’s not a shallow character, at least. Still, her “be a man shit” is annoying but I’ll take that over the other crap we have in this game.

Sonia - Generally involved and usually palpable in terms of handling. The sexist shit is more Souda’s fault than hers, so I don’t feel like knocking off points for it. The only issue is that she’s lacks big character moments and is overall a static character. She does get more fed up with Souda’s harassment though, which is something, even if nothing comes from it. Bah. Also the romantic subplot with Gundam is fine. It’s probably the most fine a romantic anything has ever been in this franchise. But because she lacks anything super profound, I can’t put her above Koizumi despite liking her more and her...surviving to the end.

There’s At Least Something Here But URGHHHHHHHH Tier

Mikan - Y’know I was pretty resistant to the idea of putting her at third because of her...everything. But, like, even so... I wouldn’t call her inconsistent, I wouldn’t call her shallow, and I think she’s fleshed out a decent amount. It’s just her...everything. Anyway, I’ve gone on length as to why I love Mikan’s writing on paper, supremely tacky and gross execution of her character aside. She’s probably the best example of a deconstruction in sdr2, being a ugu doormat with like, AAAAAAAALL the actual baggage and shittiness that kind of person would have. Mikan’s personality of being emotionally manipulative with a huge victim complex while also being incredibly resentful of those around her (for good reason) is still SUPER fascinating. There’s layers to how she even exploits herself for sympathy points as well as attention. But...y’know... Still inherently pretty gross and not handled deftly by someone who truly understands what a fucked up mentality that is. She’s definitely not palpable...but I guess the actual nuances of her personality make up for it in terms of...whether or not I think she’s at least well-written. Would have less qualms putting her this high if the characters actually learned shit from her.

Hiyoko - WE COULD’VE HAD IT AAAAAAAAAAALL. I love Hiyoko. She’s my other favorite sdr2 girl with Sonia. Bully girls often get a bad rap, but they can be interesting, and Hiyoko’s a particularly stand-out example. She’s not manipulative. She’s in fact, really soft-hearted and sensitive, and she hates those aspects of her, so she targets people specifically for having those traits. She’s insecure! And it makes her shitty! I stan! That she cares for Koizumi for actually reaching out to her is super important. She could’ve been one of the best if not the best...but then Kodaka had her killed for bullshit reasons and had to throw in a dumbass quirk about her not being able to dress herself to justify her bullshit death down the line, so any profound development she could’ve had is just...unceremoniously thrown out the window. It’s really so tragic. Hiyoko deserved so much better.

Peko - What’s worse, a terrible trope that’s fleshed out or a good trope that’s grossly wasted? Tough call, and this is what I ended up with. Still not sure if I made the right decision. Anyway, Peko’s entire character is based on the incredibly sexist trope of Girl Exists For Dude. Thankfully, she makes her own decisions and she’s presented as very woefully unaware of how Kuzuryuu actually feels. Her existing for Kuzuryuu’s sake to the point of happily sacrificing herself is, y’know, a flaw. That gets her killed. So I can pretend that Kodaka is saying it’s a bad thing that she’s like this. He’s probably not, given how Peko’s never really given a reason to live outside of Kuzuryuu, bUT I CAN PRETEND. Although I will say that as annoying as her canonically having romantic feelings for Kuzuryuu is, it’s still incredibly fucking funny seeing Hinata get crushed and rejected.

Just Not Good Tier

Ibuki - I sincerely had no idea where to put her at first. Ibuki’s writing is...fickle, due to primarily being comic relief so more often than not her dialogue and writing is more...jokes...than facets of a personality. And what personality is showcased has little variety. She definitely has those layers but they’re few and far between in the main storyline. And there’s stuff in her FTEs (her strong belief in individuality) that I don’t think comes up. Not to mention there’s completely untapped stuff such as how lonely she must be due to her band splitting, and... Really, she’s just the most wasted of the characters in term of how little she contributes beyond jokes. And sdr2′s sense of humor is pretty fucking shit, so I’m not a fan of a lot of the jokes, either. Ibuki is pretty...ahem, pardon the pun. Pretty one-note. The most offensive part of her character is probably from her attraction to women being portrayed really creepily, which I definitely super hate, but it’s only like...a few lines of dialogue and...I know for a fact how much worse it could’ve been. It could’ve been so, so, so much worse.

Chiaki - Could she have gone above Ibuki? Probably. I mean, her writing *is* more consistent and varied (even if she only has like, two more facets of a personality) buuuuuut. Kodaka literally said she’s his ideal girlfriend. And that grossness *does* seep into her writing to the point where it’s pungent. The fact that she’s idealized and that even her potentially off-putting traits are either meant to be endearing or desirable is... Ew. Pretty ew. But, with all that, she’s bland in what the narrative allows her to offer. Having her be the most moralistic of the cast also makes her pretty annoying when she starts preaching about trust, doubt, hope, killing is wrong, and then she makes excuses as to why she can’t be bothered to be involved with the plot a la Chapter 3 where she doesn’t do shit about the sick kids. She’s seriously more of a mouthpiece than a character and those can be fine...but maybe not so much in sdr2, and definitely not at the expense of other characters developing through learning this shit themselves instead of her having to tell them. The inherent gross sexism that she’s supposed to be Kodaka’s Ultimate Girlfriend sure doesn’t help.

Akane - I honestly feel kinda bad putting her at the bottom but...jeez, the more I think about it, the more Akane’s character really sucks ass. Like, she’s really shallow and uninspired. Even her damn “talent pose” is derivative of Sakura’s just with less ferocity and a panty shot. And as offensive as Nanami’s concept is, at least it can go unnoticed by the player. Akane being Boobs and Food girl is constantly shoved in your face. And the fact she has a history of sexual abuse really, REALLY makes it worse. At least with Mikan, there’s layers. With Akane, there ain’t. She’s just portrayed as too dumb to know any better. Urghhhhh. But what about her personality? Shallow. What about her arc? Frustratingly non-existent. She doesn’t learn a fucking thing despite her flaws actually making her a damn liability. Her...backstory? Well, abuse aside, it’s...weird. Her backstory is about struggling to survive. When...in the main story she's too stupid to live despite being a survivor. So, I don’t think it clicks, much less informs/fleshes out her character beyond giving us a reason for why she’s so sexualized and obsessed with food and...yeah, no thanks. Akane’s writing is the worst, both on the outset and in what little nuance we have.

#Magi answers #anonymous #critical #yah #As much as I generally do like the sdr2 girls the quality of writing for said girls is such a downgrade from dr1 it's despairing #Even dr1's worst girl (at the time) Touko had a lot more to offer than like...almost half of the sdr2 girls #Probably half #Maybe even more than half #tumblr fucked up with the read more because of course it did #whatever

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missfaber · 5 years

Text

author interview

I was tagged by @orangeflavoryawp, thank you so much!

I already know I’m going to enjoy this way too much, writing is such a lonely endeavor and I just love talking about it, sooo... I apologize in advance for rambling.

name: Madeline/Maddie

fandoms: this is complicated because there’s fandoms I very much consider myself a part of because they’re just a huge part of my life, even though I don’t contribute content to them, and then there’s fandoms I do create content for. So idk where the line is drawn!

fandoms I contribute/ have contributed to: Avatar the Last Airbender, Game of Thrones, Merlin BBC, Once Upon a Time, Legend of Korra

fandoms I haven’t contributed to but are so dear to me: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings (my two favorite things ironically lol), and lots more

where you post: AO3, used to be ff.net and livejournal too

most popular one shot: by kudos, it’s as if death itself was undone (zutara, atla: katara wakes up to azula in their house and wants to find out a) why she is welcome b) why zuko is acting so weird)

most popular multichapter: by kudos, it’s soldier, go bravely on (jonsa + gendrya, got, complete, rewrite of the last episode of got with sweetness and angst and action, and may i say some common sense?)

favorite story you wrote: fuck omg this is difficult lol! because I both criticize and love all my stories in equal measure, I honestly don’t write anything that i don’t love, that doesn’t give me butterflies / actual chest pain (from angst). I feel like I’m being asked to choose a favorite child lol. so I’ll try to justify these picks somehow...

closest to my heart: soldier, go bravely on (also mentioned above). this is the fic that brought me back to writing fic, and to tumblr even! I was on hiatus (that I didn’t know was a hiatus because I had no intention of coming back) for six years before writing this fic. I wrote it so quickly after the got finale, it was such a passionate and fevered few days and it just sucked me back in to everything I used to love as a teenager. It was also a nice stretch out of my comfort zone, because of the dialogue (which was so tightly planned it’s ridiculous, I wrote the whole fic as a screenplay type thing first to make sure there wasn’t a single dialogue word not needed) and tv-episode style. It’s also such a wish-fulfillment fic that I can’t read certain parts without getting a bit teary. for all those reasons and more, this fic will always be so special to me.

most proud of: wolf, circle north (jonsa, got, alternate season 7 & 8). this is the longest fic I’ve ever attempted and the number I’ve hours I’ve sunk into it is astounding and i should be ashamed. It’s going to be obscenely long (my outline is 70+ chapters) and when I pull it off, best believe it’s going into a bound book so I can look at how thicc it is and be like, “I did that!” lol. The range of POVs is one of the most challenging but most rewarding part of this fic, and why I’m so proud of it. This is another wish-fulfillment fic for me, not just because it’s another fix-it fic but because I have been writing bits and pieces of this fic for about three years. I kept thinking of jonsa scenarios and little scenes I would have loved to see after season 6 and writing them in a little secret doc, just for me, as I never thought I��d write fic again. After writing “soldier” i had already broken my hiatus and I realized this fic was an actual possibility, so I put it out into the world. I couldn’t be more happy that I did that. Not only did it give me the chance to be in such an excellent, lovely fandom, but the feedback I get is so validating after having this be my secret little project for so long.

most formative: Coffee & Cigarettes, (merthur, merlin bbc) I’m ashamed to list this and the merthurs reading this 100% want to kill me for having the audacity because it’s incomplete and hasn’t been updated since 2013 when there’s only one chapter left so what’s my excuse? I call this the most formative for me because until I published this I didn’t really have a fic that people followed and liked, eagerly awaited updates for, and commented regularly on. I was writing a lot of one-shots and atla stuff on tumblr (I used to RP lmao I was like 15 ok?) This was the first time I experienced so many fic-life things, like being excited to get AO3 emails, etc. This was the first time I started to really focus on character which is so important to me now, my writing is completely character driven. Not to mention Merlin and Arthur’s dumbassery and sheer attraction and denial is just... *chef’s kiss*

guiltiest pleasure: my recent foray into nedsei, who am I??? one more word and you won’t survive, just international hate sex

story you were most nervous to post: ummm idk I’m usually excited not nervous, since for me fic writing is just fun, I write things I’d enjoy reading and that I’m proud of. I read my own fics more than anyone else does, I guarantee it. am I a narcissist? who knows I guess I’ll say “soldier” again because I hadn’t posted fic in six years.

how you choose your titles: wow the hardest part of fic writing for me!!!!! thanks!!!!! lol. Okay so for my work titles, which are always terrible and I literally regret them immediately after posting, it’s usually just some words I play around with and string together that are somewhat thematic and related to the work... they’re always terrible lmao, I hate making titles. I mean, look at “soldier, go bravely on” and “wolf, circle north” for god’s sake, I hate them lmao. But I have to pick a title to post, so!!! For chapter titles and one-shots I’ll usually go with a song lyric, and especially for my chapter titles I spend so long seeking out the perfect one that reflects some thematic or emotional content of the chapter somehow. I’m very proud of my chapter titles for wolf, circle north. I have a doc on my scrivener just for chapter titles that I created in the very early stages of writing it, where I just dumped HUNDREDS of song lyrics that I thought I might use. Then by them I wrote some scenarios where they could work. here’s a screenshot:

It’s so helpful now. Sometimes posting an update will take an hour more than necessary because of me going through that doc, finding the perfect lyric.

do you outline: OH, DO I OUTLINE... Hell Yeah, I outline. I couldn’t live without outlining. I love outlining. My outlines have outlines. I’m a planner centric, calendar centric, bullet-journal bitch so of course I love outlining. In all seriousness though: I write out of chronological order. I feel my writing is best when I write the scene I’m in the mood to write- unfortunately this scene could be ten chapters down the line from the chapter I’m gonna post next. This is the biggest reason outlining is necessary for me. If I didn’t have an outline, my story would be a non-post-able mess.

I wasn’t kidding when I said my outlines have outlines. For wolf, circle north I have, um, a few. Character/location centric outlines where I bullet every scene that needs to happen for that plot to happen cohesively (these were all more or less completed before I even started writing the fic), then a “loose” outline that I copy everything from the other outlines into for some semblance of chronological order, then a Polished Final Outline that I write from. I know that sounds psychotic. It’s how my brain works. Some photo evidence/explanation:

And here’s a screengrab of my Final Outline, this is pretty much how it is all the way down- The POV character is italicized in the front, I talk to myself a lot in there, let myself get carried away, will sometimes write out whole segments of the scene if they come to me while outlining. Spoilers for chapters 1-3 of w,cn I guess!!!

Then, because scrivener is awesome, I get to see this outline in the corkboard view (I input every scene as a card) and so I get to see every part of my outline as a Synopsis on the right hand side of the doc where I’m writing the scene:

The POV and status tags (which are completely customizable) on the lower right are helpful too. This post is just a scrivener ad.

complete: 9 works

in progress: 4 works

coming soon / not yet started: I have so many fics in the works, I’m an indulgent person so if an idea comes to me I usually go with it for a time. I’ve had a very not-serious Jonsa PLL AU I’ve been writing on and off since summer. I have three different fairytale AUs (also jonsas) I’ve been working on and one time travel AU for @sunbeamsandmoonrays. I can’t say when or if any of these will see the light of day, because my priority is my WIPs and my original writing. But the most prevalent are my Halloween fics (one jonsa, one gendrya, one merthur) which I really want to be able to put out this month, but only if I meet some other goals. I’m trying to rein in my indulgent ass, ya’ll.

do you accept prompts: no. sorry! but I do workshop ideas with friends, for example the nedsei fic happened that way by talking with @flibbertigiblet. But I don’t take writing prompts in my inbox.

upcoming story you are most excited to write: my halloween merthur fic. it’s witchy, sassy, and I’m so excited to get back into the heads of these characters.

Tagging! @uchihabat @anniebibananie @noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth @sailorshadzter @vivilove-jonsa and any other lovely writer soul who wants to do this!

#askjshssj thanks for reading this lol i went off!#my writing #writing things #jonsa #merthur #zutara #fanfiction #fanfiction writing

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lovepmd · 5 years

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What would you consider the highest and lowest points of each PMD's story?

OOF, THIS IS QUITE A QUESTION

alright, let’s see...

rescue team; i love the fugitive arc and everything around it. everyone turns on hero and even hero can’t defend themselves because of their own doubt about themselves. but partner is there for them, supporting them all the way, and they make the long trip to go question ninetails herself in order to clear hero’s name. there’s honestly not a whole lot i remember about the story as a whole since it’s been a while since i played the game all the way through lol, so it’s hard to think of the lowest point. the only thing i can think of is more game play wise, the fact you have to go through a bunch of other missions and hard dungeons before finding out the truth about gengar. i didn’t know about that part until YEARS later when i read about it online because i never got that far. in a sense, the fact that the town pokemon are quick to believe gengar and go after hero in the first place can count as a low point, especially concerning team ACT. bunch of dumbasses after all lol.

explorers; i love grovyle with all my heart lol, i love his story, his selflessness, and i cry at his sacrifice every time. he’s obviously heartbroken about hero losing their memories and getting a new partner, but does that stop him? no, the mission is more important, the WORLD is more important. he’s a big highlight of the game for me, next to partner. also that part in the epilogue with wigglytuff’s speech? after hero and partner are told they need to fucking kill themselves to fix everything? the best. the lowest point? the whole......time thing, honestly. so without the time gears, an area ends up frozen in time. except the pokemon for some reason. entering the area doesn’t seem to have many harmful effects, but maybe it’s a long term thing. if the future is frozen, how the fuck does everyone survive? they need to eat and drink, don’t they? if plants won’t grow and water doesn’t flow, how does that work? how did a human turn up in the future if there are none in the past? i wish we got more answers on those, and also on how hero and grovyle met.

gates; depression, the game! seriously, i honestly love how damn real this game is. you see from the START that the pokemon world isn’t that great. gurrdurr immediately tries to scam you, because he ended up getting hurt, both physically and emotionally, and he stops caring. i love everyone in paradise and their stories and their developments. I LOVE PARTNER SO MUCH, LITERALLY TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD. i love munna and her gang, they were just tired of bullshit after bullshit happening to them, so they decided to fucking help the world end, because they didn’t see it worth being saved. there’s so many parts that just hurt me on a personal level and i love it lol. i even love kyurem though i was so fucking scared of fighting him the first time i played because of what he did in the desert. partner helping everyone and talking sense into them is several high points. i can’t really think of the lowest point story wise, i guess i wish building up paradise was more important. also the stupid rule that came up was...stupid dkjfgd, HAPPI can fuck off honestly. the fact you could recruit random pokemon and that part being a thing was....idk. seemed weird

super: oh boy, here we go. i do honestly love partner a lot, and i can understand why people didn’t like them. i’m...not really sure on what the highest point is in this one. i guess i’d have to pick around the time shit got serious, the voidlands and just after that. GUESS WHAT KIDS, YOU’RE GOING TO HELL. trying to band together the few allies that are left, going back to serene village but it was already attacked and partner refuses to go check on carracosta because they’re already on edge and know they can’t afford to fucking break right now, all of that. the lowest point is much easier to pick lol, and that’s around the ending/epilogue. honestly? i love the fact it’s partner that disappears, it hurts so much more than before, being the one left behind. and i love mew, they’re similar to partner but also got their own personality. but......oof, i don’t know. the reason behind partner disappearing is what i’m iffy with, i feel like it’s not a good enough reason. or maybe i didn’t find it explained really well. and then the whole thing with mew afterwards, i didn’t like the sudden jump ahead where hero has to remember a bunch of events that happened, when they could’ve done all of that in real time. it just felt rushed and like “WHOOP,WENEEDTOGETTOTHEENDOFTHISRIGHTTHISSECOND,NOMORETIME” and yeah.

#ask #long post #rescueteam spoilers #explorers spoilers #gti spoilers #psmd spoilers

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yelenaa-romanova · 5 years

Text

The 1OO Ask Game

I was tagged by @pendragaryen!

1. What station on the Ark would you be from?

I never really thought about that, but maybe Farm or Hydro Station

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

My friends would do something forbidden and I’d be with them, trying to stop them, and get caught in the process.

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

If we ever got close enough for that, it would have a little horse on it :)

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

Sinclair

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Octavia (before she went psycho), Monty

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

Trikru

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

I’m not posting my name online, but it would be practically the same in Trig...

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

I don’t have that strong feelings as love or hate towards him. I always acceoted and liked him in season 1, but then he went so out of character in season 2 and I’m sorry, I just can’t forgive him.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

Not very willing. I would take it in the end to avoid torture, but before, I would refuse. I’m not one to go along with something just because other people do it.

11. What character do you relate to most?

Monty :’) I’m a very peaceful person.

12. What character do you like the least?

In the first season that was Murphy, but he certainly grew on me. Now...probably Echo or Abby. I just can’t forgive them certain things.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

Black jeans, simple bordeaux red shirt, a worn leather jacket and a signature necklace. Nothing fancy though, just a simple chain with some little pendant.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

Of those I can think of right now, one’s equally disturbing as the other...

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

I’d work in the nursery/pre school since this is what I’ve learned in real life :)

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

No. I would have probably puked as soon as she cut open her chest.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

Except Lexa? Anya

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

I’d be talking A LOT, giggling, and find everything funny.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Bellamy. I’d never punish a child.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

I liked Abby as the Chancellor (back when I still liked her character). If not her, then Kane (ground Kane, not Ark Kane^^)

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

Maybe I would’ve been in Polis, idk. If not, definitely Kane’s side.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

uhm...can I go with the food? Would make for a nice little change XD

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

My hair would be open with lots and lots of tiny little braids with feathers, pearls, horse hair and stuff like that braided into them. I’d have tattoos on one arm, running from the shoulder to the wrist in ornate patterns, and if I was a warrior, I would wear black war paint around the eyes, but not as much as Lexa or Octavia, more like a simple design.

24. Favorite quote?

You can’t seriously expect me to chose! Here are my top 3: “Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that?” - Clarke “You don’t ease pain. You overcome it.” - Clarke “If a war is the only way to have the last survivable land on earth, then maybe we don’t deserve it.” - Monty

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

Lexa, Luna or Roan

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Since I’m not allowed to name either my fav or my least fav ship (whyyyy) I’m gonna say favorite: Linctavia; least favorite: Kane x Diyoza; fav non canon: Roan x Raven

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

Any song by Ruelle, preferably Genesis or Zayde Wolf ft. Ruelle - Walk Through the Fire. And I don’t care about guest stars.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

Try to get along with him somehow... read all the books that are there (I really hope there are books?!), sing karaoke, dance and try not to go insane

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

A war casualty, or maybe die as a hostage of one of the rivaling clans.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

Diyoza would be interesting!

31. A character you’d bang?

Bellamy Blake, for sure. Who wouldn’t?

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

Probably in the Bunker, cause it seemed like the safest place before all that crazy shit happened. I think I just would’ve been in there already when they closed the doors.

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

I would, if only because I would be too scared to defy her rule. I would read, and if there are no (more) books, I’d write my own stories.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

I don’t think I would commit any crime, until it comes to not becoming a cannibal. And even then, she’d probably shoot me on the spot instead of throwing me in the pits.

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

Monty and Harper. Murphy would be the most difficult, and I’d try to stay away from Echo.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

Ugh, not long at all. Depends on where I am and what resources I have, but I don’t think I’d last longer than a few months.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

Hide and observe from afar

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

I didn’t particularly like any of them in season 5, but by now, Diyoza. She’s badass. Least favorite McCreary, although it pains me a bit to say so because the actor is so nice :’)

39. Would you Spacewalk?

Yes...after I’d conquered my fear haha

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

I’m a vegetarian, so Algae it is

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

No, never. I’m on Monty’s side here (see the favorite quote thing above). I would try to negotiate with Eligius and work out a plan to share the valley.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

Errr...neither?!

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

I don’t have a sister, but if I had, I think I’d only do it as a very last resort. For the person I love... well I think I’d love my sister too, so that would be an extremely difficult situation. But putting myself in Bellamy’s place here, I think I would do it, and then I’d have to try and live with it. I don’t think anyone could have stopped Octavia at that point tbh.

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

Stay awake. Cryo creeps the hell out of me.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

Clarke, Bellamy, Raven and Jackson.

I don’t know a lot of people on here who watch The 100, so I’m not gonna tag any specific people. But if YOU want to do this tag, go for it and consider yourself tagged by me!

#tag game #tagged #the 100 #questions #this was fun :)#tag #not books #text post

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surveysonfleek · 6 years

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1211.

Do you want your last ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? sure. If you have a smartphone, what’s the last app you downloaded? What about the last app you uninstalled? the last app i downloaded was that simpsons tapped out. i need to kill time lol. the last app i deleted was a business one. If you were a straight member of the opposite sex, who are some celebrities you think you’d have a thing for? rihanna, beyonce, rita ora. not sure who else. Have you ever dyed your own hair? How did it turn out? yes. it was fine, not a huge change. Right-handed or left-handed? right-handed.

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? just a boring iphone one. Does your first, middle, and last spell something? huh? Favorite TV channel? i don’t have one. What is your least favorite breed of dog? i don’t have one tbh. it all depends on the dog’s personality. In your opinion, are leggings appropriate to wear as pants? yes, i think they’re fine as long as they’re not see through. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? nope. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? yes, wine.

Do you hate it when people smoke around you? i don’t really care. What do you want for your birthday? a watch. Who is the most inappropriate person you know? i know a couple but only when they’re intoxicated. Who in your phone has a heart after their name? my boyfriend. After breaking up, what’s the worst? learning how to move on by yourself. Do you have a second mom? nope. When was the hardest time in your life? What made it so hard & how did you overcome it? when my parents separated. it was just a shitty time in my life, i dreaded going home just coz they ignored each other. How do you relieve stress? sleeping, watching movies/tv shows. When you die do you want to have a funeral service? Why or why not? yeah, i would. it would bring a lot of people together i guess. What illegal drugs have you tried? Describe how you feel when you take each. If you haven’t tried any, would you ever want to? weed, coke, mdma. are shrooms illegal? if so, then yeah i’ve done that too. What is your opinion on capital punishment? eh. What period of history was your favorite to learn about? If you don’t like history, what is your favorite thing to learn about? modern history. Where is your favorite fast food restaurant & what do you order when you go there? burger king. a whopper. i haven’t had one in ages. What do you think about smoking in public places? it’s fine. What’s your favorite cheese? camembert. What’s your favorite type of chocolate? milk. How do you like your steak? medium rare. What’s the last time you ate something you’d picked in the wild? i feel like i’ve never done that. Arrange the following in order of preference: Pineapple, Orange, Apple, Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Banana. banana, watermelon, pineapple, orange, apple, strawberry, cherry. What is your opinion on “God?” i believe in them. i’m just not religious whatsoever. What is your favorite Christmas movie? elf. Who are the three most important people in your life? i’d have to choose four. my immediate family and boyfriend. Why did you go to the doctor the last time you went? i had food poisoning. What is your favorite boy band? boyz ii men. What is your favorite Beatles song? i don’t have one tbh. What is your favorite type of bird? toucans are cool. What is something you hate, but wish you loved? olives. If you could profoundly release anxiety’s grip on one area of your life what would it be? everything. i have the weirdest irrational anxiety. it’s frustrating. What’s the cutest thing your SO does, but denies it’s cute in any way? his mannerisms. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? yeah, i’m in mid laughter haha. Does it irritate you when people go on and on about how amazing their boyfriend/girlfriend is? only if it’s the only thing they talk about. If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark color or a light? i like neutral shades, browns, pinks, nudes. What do you believe in the most? idk. What do you avoid like the plague? driving haha. i do it anyway. What is your main goal of the year? finding a new job. Do you listen to music while you drive? always. Waffle cone or bowl? cone. Do you like video games? Why? it really depends, i’m picky with them. they’re fun to kill time with. Do you take selfies with those animal filters? when they first came out on snapchat they were cute but now i just think they took tacky. What book will you NOT read? many. What YouTube channel can you not stand to watch? stupid ones. pewdiepie, those logan brother, ricegum etc. they’re terrible, i don’t get the appeal. Do you like big, normal or small glasses? normal. How do you feel about colored contacts? it’s whatever. to each their own. Is pregnancy beautiful? sure. Do you dance at weddings/parties or are you shy? sometimes. when i’m in the mood. Are you kind to animals at all times? i don’t really take notice of them tbh. Have you ever been bitten by an animal really hard? yes. Do you trust dogs? only my dog. Do you trust cats? nope. What stereotype do you fall into the best? slacker. Do you have to take stairs or an elevator to get to your house? stairs. Have you ever seen a pelican in real life? yes. all the damn time at the beaches. Do you carry pepper spray with you? nope. Name three sites you have been bullied on. none tbh. i keep a pretty low profile. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. nope. not one out of control. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? no. Have you ever had a emergency surgery? no. Do you think your hair looks better natural or dyed? natural. What’s one thing that makes your stomach hurt? anxiety lol. and food. i have a weak stomach. If you had kids, would you take them to Disney World? of course! What unnatural hair color looks best on you? really dark purple. What is your least favorite pizza place? i don’t know tbh. What is the name of your first pet? dopey. he was a bird lol. What is your favorite fairytale? hmmm. rumpelstiltskin. Have you ever suffered a fracture? yes. in my pinky from basketball. What countries would you like to visit? japan and the bahamas. Had a serious surgery? the most serious would be a dog bite when i was 2. i only remember bits and pieces of it though. Gotten stitches? yes. Bitten someone? not seriously. Would you ever cosplay? probably not. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? pretty quickly. Have you ever drank from a real coconut? yes! not as sweet as i thought it’d be. Do you have bird feeders hanging up outside? What about any hanging plants? nope. If you were poor, living on the streets, & had no family to aid you, would you take up a job offer to work in a slaughterhouse? if that was the only job i could get, then yeah. it would suck but unfortunately we need money to live. Have you ever had a grandparent come live with you? yeah. Do you keep your fortunes from fortune cookies? i did for awhile, kept it in my phone case. When you walk into your bedroom, is the light switch on the right side or the left side of the door? right. Who makes the majority of the food for Thanksgiving in your family? we don’t celebrate thanksgiving here. Does your house have a real chimney? nope. If you had to endure one natural disaster (i.e. hurricane, tornado, etc), what would you pick and why? no idea just because i’ve never been through one. probably a hurricane though? i think my house could withstand that. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? pretty sure my dad taught me. i relied on training wheels even though i knew how to ride without them and finally just got rid of them when i was about 8 lol. If you want any tattoos or piercings, what’s next on your list? don’t want either. Are you good at understanding baby talk? nope. What was the last movie that you saw in the theaters? it’s been forever. i think it was deadpool 2 or ocean’s eight. Can you do a hand stand? nope. If you could, you would go to the moon? probably not. Do you like candy canes? no. Have you ever gotten in trouble at school for wearing revealing clothes? no. we had uniforms. Have you ever seriously thought about getting plastic surgery? no. Do you prefer your jeans normal or ripped? normal. i like acid wash and that distressed look though. Have you ever actually woken up screaming because of a nightmare? no. Have you watched Breaking Bad? i’ve seen about half of it. Have you ever been skating? yes. Do you feel comfortable singing in front of others? hell no. Name four favorite fast food restaurants & what you usually order at each one. burger king: whopper meal. mcdonalds: cheeseburger or applie pie. kfc: twista meal. sushi hub: i always get sushi and avocado, crispy chicken and avocado and prawn katsu rolls. Name four favorite sit down restaurants & what you usually order at each one. hurricanes: ribs. hooters: wings in either spicy garlic or teriyaki sauce. idk where else tbh. Would you say you’re more close-minded or open-minded? Is there anyone in your family or group of friends you’d consider close-minded? If so, does it ever bother you? definitely open minded. i think my family and friends are quite open minded. i’m not really close to anyone who i really disagree with when it comes to my views. What is the most fucked up movie you’ve seen? Why? i honestly forgot what it was called but it was on netflix and there’s just a room of people in this weird room and only one could survive. When it’s time to dress up for a special occasion, are you more likely to wear a dress, a skirt, or dress pants? a dress. If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it? What is your favorite flavor? i never ear oatmeal. Have you ever been brave enough to cut your hair in a very different way? If you have, did you regret your decision after? nah. How attractive is a girl is a suit? How attractive is a guy in a dress? it all depends on how the clothes fit the person tbh. What does your dad do? he works in a factory. Are your fingers long, or short? they’re pretty stubby. Are you allergic to any dogs? nope. Have you ever used an epi pen? no. What is the meaning of your first name? goddess of wine. funnily enough i’m not a fan of wine. Did you toss your hat in the air at graduation? i don’t think i did actually lol. Does it usually take you awhile to recover from illnesses? sometimes. it depends. i’ll either get over a sickness in a couple of days or it’ll take weeks. Would you rather get married outside or inside? inside only because knowing my luck it’ll be raining. Do you put your elbows on the table when you eat? Do you think it’s rude? i don’t think i do but i don’t really consider it rude. Is you hair color the same as it was when you were a baby? yes. What are your thoughts on mini-skirts or mini-dresses? not a fan of them on myself. Have you ever died in one of your dreams? yes haha. then i woke up. Which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? fruity tbh. Be honest, have you ever bullied anybody? Who was it? not seriously. i’ve been teased but i haven’t been a constant target. What was the mascot at your elementary school? we didn’t have one. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? the proposal. Have you ever had a significant other NOT believe you when you said “i love you” to them? Why was that? How did you react? nope. Is there a band logo you would get tattooed on yourself? no. If you had a baby, would you want to have it at home or in a hospital? hospital. wouldn’t want to jeopardise anything. What was the last thing you ordered online? invitations to be printed. What’s your favorite planet? earth. What are three things that fascinate you? travelling, space and culture. Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder? no. Do you enjoy doing yoga? not really. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? nope. Have you ever had fondue? yes. only a chocolate one though. i’d love to try a cheese one. Have you ever taken photos in a photobooth? yes. If you have a dog, do you walk it regularly? not really. he’s turning 15 this year and is super old. we have a huge backyard so he still runs around when he wants. Do porcelain dolls scare you? they don’t scare me but i definitely wouldn’t want to start a collection. Which is worse, Teletubbies or Boohbas? boohbas were weird af. Would you ever consider getting a tattoo on the inside of your bottom lip? nope. Do you like to play air hockey? yes. Have you ever been in a castle? technically yes. it’s just not my definition of a castle. Are you a lightweight when it comes to alcohol? i’m okay. Do you like tacos? only soft tacos.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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heyhosam · 6 years

Text

I look like all you need

A/N: ok, so… woah, hello? It’s me, here I am after a looooong break. I’m really nervous to post this because I haven’t written anything for months and idk I feel like I’m back at square one, when I started writing and had no clue to what I was doing…So I request for constructive criticism if you find mistakes. I’m trying to get into writing again, because I’ve missed it so much, specially interacting with you guys, so hopefully this story will be the first one of more to come. I’m aware of the requests I have to work on, I haven’t forgotten about you guys, I promise I’m working on them so my next releases will be those requested stories.

About this story; I’ve been following for a while a youtuber that has been documenting her transitioning progress and I found it so inspiring that I wanted to write about it. Transgender ppl —regardless of if they are transitioning or not— go through such hardships and they are always belittled or ignored, mostly dehumanized. They have my utmost respect and I’m really proud of all of them for battling with their inner demons on daily basis, and fighting against a society that most of the time don’t think they are ppl deserving of respect and human rights.

I tried to make this story with the utmost care and love in the world, is not my intention to offend anyone but if there is anything that is offensive to you or that you consider I’m explaining wrong tell me and I will change it or simply delete the story. Hopefully you all will love reading it as much as I loved creating it.

I found an interesting article/video talking about MTF surgery, take a look if you aren’t grossed out with this kind of things (the video is an animated simulation, there is no blood nor anything explicit)

AO3

I know my A/N are always super long lol I’m sorry.This said, ENJOY!

Jungkook first sees her at the café near campus, that one in which they serve the cheapest, but largest cups of caffeine that have helped him more than once survive finals week.

He’s waiting for his turn, while scrolling down his phone lazily as the lady in front of him takes forever to decide what to order, when he hears a kid yell from somewhere in the shop; it’s not like Jungkook’s really disturbed by it, but the hollering is loud enough to distract him from his previous tedious task and turn his head towards the source of the noise and then— then the world stops as his eyes find her, his heart skips a beat.

She’s so beautiful. She looks so pretty just sitting down on her own, head tilted down to focus on the book on her hands. Shy rays of sunshine glow around her from the nearest window, her dark brown hair sitting on her shoulders gently, some curly strands tucked behind her ear probably to stop them from falling to her face so she can read in peace. Round and rosy cheeks, big glasses sitting at the tip of her cute button nose, plump and glossy lips; although she doesn’t look like the really thin type, she looks petite with the oversized beige sweater she’s wearing.

The urge to simply go there and hug her is so strong and overwhelming that Jungkook forgets how to breath properly for a second.

“Uhm— excuse me?”

Jungkook snaps back to reality, turning his head to the barista looking curiously at him and blushes, noticing it was him now holding back the line.

“Oh, yes— sorry.” he orders his usual coffee with extra vanilla cream and when he’s about to hand the bills he stops, mind going back to the cute -beautiful, gorgeous, perfect- girl sitting alone at the back of the café with, maybe, and empty cup of coffee.

Would it be too weird if he bought her a cup of coffee? Probably, his mind unhelpfully supplies. But she is so pretty, the prettiest he’s ever seen, and the helpless romantic in him can’t fathom the thought of walking out the cafe without giving it a chance, without at least trying to make her smile and see the world brighten up a little bit.

“Do you know what was her order?” he asks shyly, pointing discreetly at the girl. The barista looks at her with big owlish eyes full of curiosity, then back at Jungkook and the little smirk that forms on his lips has Jungkook immediately regretting he had asked.

“Yes, she is a regular,” he says amused, finger already tapping on the screen, “Do you want to order another one for her?”

Jungkook doesn’t find his voice to respond, he simply nods with a blush on his cheeks and then hands the bills.

It takes him another ten minutes to find the courage to approach her, period of time in which he tries his best to ignore the barista amusedly staring at him. He is Jeon Jungkook, for fucks’ sake— he has no troubles when it comes to flirting, to get a girl battling her eyelashes at him in less than five minutes. It’s really frustrating how he seems to be unable to do something as simple as approach her with a casual ‘hey’. He has done it before, too many times he’s lost count. But here again, he has never come across such a pretty girl.

When he finally nears her table he has forgotten what he had planned to say, and instead of saying something that will sound cool and interesting he chokes out a pathetic hello.

He tries to stay composed as she looks up from her book -which Jungkook recognises to be one of his favourite mangas- and blinks confusedly, but really cutely, at him.

“Hello.” she says, voice gentle but hesitant. Jungkook can see she has tensed up and nervousness pumps through his veins, now realising how weird it must be from her point of view a complete stranger has bought her a drink and approached her table.

“Uh— sorry, I just—“ he stutters out, feeling like a complete idiot by standing there with a cup of coffee on each hand and just owlishly blinking at her. “I thought— well, I thought that maybe you would like another coffee?”

She stares silently at him, and Jungkook cringes just thinking of what must be going through her head right now as she studies him. He must look like a weirdo, a total creep. Yikes.

“Ok, let me explain,” he says before she can answer, “I just saw you and I thought you were pretty and— I don’t know, guess I just wanted an excuse to talk to you. I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you I can just go away as if nothing happened. I’m really sorry.”

He’s about to turn around and run out the cafeteria like the loser he is when she stops him with a soft ‘wait’ dropping from her very pretty lips.

“You didn’t bother me,” she mumbles before licking her lips, “just took me by surprise because this kind of situations aren’t something common for me.”

“But you are so pretty.” Jungkook says before he can stop himself and he cringes again. He has to stop creeping her out if he really wants a chance to get to know her.

“Thank you,” she says shyly, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, and Jungkook almost coos out loud at how cute she is.

“Uhm- do you mind if I sit with you?” he says with a hopeful lilt, maybe a bit too desperate if the way she looks up curiously at him is anything to go by.

She studies him, most likely hesitant to let a stranger sit with her; honestly, Jungkook can’t blame her for being wary of him.

“Okay.” she finally concedes, pushing her glasses up her nose with two fingers. Seriously, Jungkook needs to chill, because that simple motion had his heart stuttering inside his chest.

He sits, awkwardly clearing his throat while handing her the drink, finding really hard to maintain eye contact with her. “I asked the barista what was your drink.”

“Ah, thank you.” she says, briefly glancing back to where said barista rests at the counter at the other end of the café. “You really didn’t have to go through all that trouble to buy me a drink.”

“It’s fine, I really wanted to.”

They stay in silence for a minute, shy glances and awkward atmosphere before Jungkook realises he hasn’t introduced himself yet.

“I’m Jungkook, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know.” she says with a soft smile while stirring her coffee, Jungkook wonders if he put the perfect amount of sugar on it or not. She seems the type to like sweet stuff, but maybe Jungkook got it all wrong.“You are quite famous around campus, being part of the football team.”

“Oh, am I?” he laughs nervously while scratching at the back of his neck. Given any other situation, reached this point he would show off about his body or his achievements; he knows girls usually like the athletic type with muscles at all the right places, but somehow the fact that she knows about him makes him giddy with nerves. Because even if he’s popular in a good way, unpleasant rumours always arise and he doesn’t know what must have reached her ears.

“I’m not that much into sports, but I’ve heard a lot about you,” she says, corner of her lips turned up slightly and that makes Jungkook relax a bit, maybe she hasn’t heard anything bad.

“You could come see one of our games, someday,” says Jungkook with a shrug, trying to sound as casual as possible while hiding the hopeful sparkle on his eyes. That makes her chuckle, which has Jungkook visibly perking up, proud of himself for finally making her smile.

“I will think about that,” she says and then takes a gulp of her coffee, frowning slightly just after. And it’s just this easy to have Jungkook deflating on his seat.

“What, is it not good? Too much sugar?” he asks panicked, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Damn, he knew he should have added just one spoonful.

“No, no!” she says quickly, shaking her hand a bit flustered and if Jungkook weren’t sad because he had managed to fuck up her drink he would be dying at her cuteness. “it’s just— it’s a bit…cold.”

If Jungkook thought of dying of embarrassment before, now he just wishes he could just jump off the planet and let the aliens dismember his body.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry—“ he blabbers out, flustered and cheeks flushed red, “I — Fuck, I’m a mess, I’m really sorry. It’s just that it took me a while to finally approach you—“

“It’s okay.” she laughs, truly laughs, with genuine mirth on her eyes and Jungkook can’t do anything but stare dumbly at her, heart fluttering.

“I can order a new one.” he says, already standing up but she stops him, assures him it’s fine and to prover her point she sips on it again, this time a larger gulp.

She finally introduces herself a minute later —Park Jimin, 24 years old. Psychology major on her last year; Jungkook saves the data on his head—, shyly laughing for forgetting to do so and Jungkook is already really infatuated with all her antics: the way she scrunches her nose slightly while pushing her glasses back up, how her hand covers her mouth while laughing at one of his dumb jokes, or how she tucks her hair away so delicately behind her ears.

Jimin is so pretty, inside and out, a bubbly personality once she finally opens up to him, visibly perking up when he points out the manga on top of the table, or when he mentions he’s into hero movies as well.

And it’s with another number saved on his phone and the promise to text each other that Jungkook gets back to his apartment, dumb smile included.

Jimin chuckles softly at the latest dumb meme Jungkook has sent, muffling the sound the best she can with one hand on her mouth. Still, Taehyung catches on it and throws a pen that hits her straight on her forehead.

“What was that for?” she grumbles with a pout, rubbing at the damaged zone.

“You’ve been glued to your phone for the past hour,” says Taehyung making grabby hands for her to hand his pen back. “We are supposed to be studying, remember?”

“Since when are you so into studying.” she says and throws the offending object back at him, grinning when it hits him on the face as well.

“Yoonji will beat my ass if I fail another test.” he says rubbing at his cheek with a fat pout, if it’s because it hurt or because he doesn’t want to suffer the wrath of his girlfriend, Jimin doesn’t know. “Who are you texting with, anyways? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so focused on your phone before.”

“Just… a friend,” she says with a shrug, staring down at her books to feign nonchalance. But Jimin sometimes forgets Taehyung knows everything about her, too much time spent together has that, so he is quick to catch on the slight change of her voice when she muttered the last word.

“Just a friend, my ass,” he says, a bit too loudly for a quiet environment such as a library, a couple of students from a near spot turn their heads to them.

She presses a finger to her lips to shush him before staring down to her books again. She feels her phone vibrate on her lap and she has to fight with herself to not check the new messages right then.

“Who is it? An admirer?” Taehyung asks again, leaning forward as if he could pry on her phone by simply stretching his neck. “Is someone wooing my Jiminnie?

“No one,” she lies, again, curling on herself flustered and embarrassed at the fact that she has been caught red handed. Taehyung is relentless, won’t stop asking questions until he has what he wants.

Jimin doesn’t want to be questioned about it, because she really doesn’t know what to say, being honest. They have been texting for the past month, getting to know more about each other between dumb jokes and stupid memes. Jungkook is a real dork, sometimes has her laughing so much her stomach hurts, but he is also sweet and caring, listens to her with no complains whenever she lets the walls down and rambles. And then, there are those moments in which Jungkook flirts, and Jimin does so as well, giggling to herself with red cheeks. And it’s equals parts sweet end exciting and scary; scary, because she doesn’t know if it will last or if this, whatever it is, will lead to anything at all.

Jimin just knows that she likes him. A lot. Maybe too much.

“Your blush tells me you are being courted indeed,” says Taehyung, lips stretched in a thin line, making his cheeks bundle up. Yoonji would coo at him, pinch his cheeks. Jimin just feels like slapping her best friend in the face. With a chair.

“He’s just someone I met.” she says, finally giving up. She knows Taehyung will get the information out of her sooner or later. They really have no secrets for each other.

“Met where, when?” questions Taehyung, now with a frown deeper than the ocean. She knows he’s wary of any boy trying to flirt with her. Honestly, after all she’s been through, so is she. “You didn’t tell me about it.”

“Honestly, I didn’t think he would stay around for this long,” she says, lowering her voice when someone from across the room shushes them, “He approached me at the café we usually go to, bought me a drink and we chatted for a little bit, been texting since then.”

Taehyung hums, eyes squinted at her, just staring for what feels like an eternity. Jimin squirms a bit uncomfortable on her chair, the vibration of her phone reminding her she hasn’t replied to him yet.

“You like him.” sates Taehyung. Jimin would like to deny it, she has the ‘no’ at the tip of her tongue, but her cheeks betray her, displaying a flustered red that speaks louder for her.

“Maybe.” she admits “But he will grow tired of me with time, like every other boy that has tried something.” she adds with a shrug, trying to not show how the thought of Jungkook dropping her breaks her heart.

Jimin hears Taehyung sigh and when she stares up at him, he’s looking sympathetically at her. They have been through this kind of situation before: a cute boy trying something on Jimin and when he sees that her shell is a bit too hard to crack he leaves. The first time really hurt, because she liked him a lot. The others stung as well, but she just pretended to not be affected by it.

But Jungkook is another story. He’s persistent, seems really interested in her even when she was being evasive when they started texting. She hates the fact that her hopes are going up with Jungkook, because the fear of such a sweet boy leaving her once he knows her secret haunts her.

“Just try to not get too attached to him, just in case.” says Taehyung after a while as he rolls around his pastel purple pen with his fingers, the same colour of his hair this month. “And if by any chance he hurts you, I’ll beat his ass.”

Jimin cracks a smile, heart swelling with fondness towards her friend. “You know you can’t hurt a fly.” she teases despite loving this protective side of him.

“Maybe, but Yoonji is not so sweet.”

At that Jimin agrees.

Jungkook stares at his phone for the hundredth time, sighing frustrated when only two minutes passed since the last time he checked.

He’s early by half an hour, and it just proves his greediness and lack of self-control when it comes to Jimin. He has never arrived early to a date, but he had started pacing around the apartment, asking his roommate for clothing advice so many times that Yugyemon ended up kicking him out, fed up with his anxious ass.

So yes, Jungkook is early and nervous but dressed with an outfit that will, hopefully, make Jimin weak on the knees: his favourite black and very tight jeans, a stripped shirt and a bomber jacket. Killer look; the perfect combination of bad boy with a sweet side.

In the end it’s Jungkook who chokes on his spit at the sight of her, recurring situation that he will have to work hard on if he doesn’t want to keep embarrassing himself in front of her. She looks stunning with a denim skirt and a black sweater tucked in. It’s so simple but she pulls it off as if it were brand clothes displayed by a model.

“Hi.” she says shyly, tucking her hair behind her ear, curly for the night. Jungkook notices a faint blush on her cheeks, maybe because of the chilly air or maybe because she has caught on Jungkook’s blatant stare- he couldn’t help it, her thighs are thick and on full display and he is a simple man. Regardless of the reason, she looks beautiful.

“Hey,” he says awestruck, being unable to hold back his smile, “you look so pretty.”

She giggles, ducking her head down in embarrassment with a mumbled ’thank you’ that has Jungkook smiling wider. That blush was indeed his doing. She’s so cute.

It’s awkward at first, but Jungkook manages to break through his nervousness and starts being his dumb self, cracking jokes here and there, and has Jimin relaxing in no time. The fact that Jimin seemed to be nervous about this encounter has his hopes going up. They hadn’t specified it was a date, Jungkook somehow managed to convince Jimin into meeting him to watch a football game on TV with the pretence of giving her knowledge about it for when she goes to watch one of the uni’s team. She had agreed so easily that Jungkook was left stunned blinking down at his screen like an idiot until Yugyeom hit the back of his head.

So, even if he wants it to be a date, he knows it’s not officially a date. He has to keep his cool.

“I’m sorry if I’m boring you,” says Jungkook, hiding his insecurity behind his a smile. He has been blabbering for the past hour and she has done nothing but listen attentively, nodding and smiling, asked very few questions that got Jungkook giving a full essay about football strategies. “I get carried away whenever sports are involved.”

“No, it’s fine,” she assures him before gulping down the last remains of her beer in one gulp. Jungkook had been pleasantly surprised when she asked for a beer and greasy snacks to accompany it. Maybe because he’s used at going out with the kind of girls that enjoy more a salad than a good greasy meal and put disgusted faces when he almost swallows a bunch of fries in one go. The girls he’s dated so far go for the composed and pretty image, trying their best to impress him with the finesse and elegance they think he will like, when the only thing Jungkook wants is for them to be natural and enjoy themselves. There is nothing more attractive to him than a pretty girl enjoying her food, drinking beer with no care and giving zero fucks if her lipstick is none existent by now. He’s a simple man.

“It’s cute to see you so hyped about this.” she adds with a smile, and Jungkook’s brain short-circuits, he can only laugh like a hyena for lack of anything else to say at her words. Cute, she thinks I’m cute.

“Hopefully I haven’t ruined football and you will like go see me play, someday,” he says, changing a bit their conversation so he has time to calm down his fluttering heart. Besides, he wants to show off, prove how good he is at something he loves, impress her when he scores points for his team and the whole stadium chants his name. He want her to stare proudly at him.

She smiles before pushing her glasses up her nose, an habit, a lovely habit that Jungkook has grown so fond of within the last hours,“Of course not, I would love to go see you play.”

The way she says it has Jungkook perking up. She sounds genuine, like she really wants to go and cheer for him.

“Is it a promise?” he extends his hand to her, pinky up and expectant. He knows he looks childish by doing this, but fuck if he cares. He would love to see her cheer for him, and his brain forms in his head Jimin wearing his jacket with his name on it while screaming his name so the whole stadium would know she’s there for him. Fuck, so beautiful.

She seems surprised by his acts, lets out cute giggle and extends her hand to him, immediately curling her pinky around Jungkook’s.

“It’s a promise.”

And this is the moment Jungkook thinks death could take him right there and right now and he would not care because her hand is so small, not to mention the size of her finger compared to his own, her skin soft at the touch; it’s only their pinkies touching, but Jungkook feels like they were meant for each other, that their hands were created to hold each other. Fuck, he’s so whipped already.

“I like you.” he blurts out and when he notices what he’s said he releases her hand as if he got struck by an electric shock, cheeks blushing deep red and ears burning with embarrassment. “Shit— I mean, that I like you would want to come— to watch me play. Shit, I…”

He just stops talking, there is no save; mom if you can hear me, just know that I love you.

He has fucked up by randomly confessing, they have been talking just for a month. Heck, this isn’t even an official date. His dumb ass couldn’t even wait after their first date. All the happiness he felt seconds ago vanishes into the void.

“I— I like you too.” she says softly, head ducked down, fingers tugging at the hem of her black sweater. He stares at her dumbly, watches as her eyes waver to the side and bites her bottom lip.

“You… do?” he asks bewildered. He was hopeful, that’s for sure, but seeing her act distant towards him more than once sine they met always made him hesitant. The rational part of his brain always said that she was the kind of sweet girl that would keep talking to him just to be nice, polite, but wasn’t really interested in him in the end. Becuase Jungkook is aware he’s kind of the dumb and muscly type that girls like Jimin —smart, beautiful— wouldn’t want as a boyfriend.

She inhales deeply, holds it for two seconds and releases slowly. She looks nervous, almost afraid. That has Jungkook curious and worried.

“I do,” she says, now staring at him with determination in her eyes, as if she is forcing herself to say it out loud. “I do like you a lot, you are so funny and sweet. I feel comfortable when we talk, like I can be myself without worrying too much, which is a big issue with me…”

“You can relax around me,” he says, cupping her hands with both of his in a sprout of braveness. “I care a lot about you, just want to make you happy.”

She smiles, a genuine and beautiful smile that has his own lips mirroring hers. She seems to relax, interlaces loosely their fingers together and Jungkook feels she has allowed him to walk through the first door of the walls surrounding her heart.

They leave long after the football game had ended, too engrossed in talking about whatever came to mind they forgot they were supposed to return home for the night.

Jungkook being the gentleman that he is, walks her home, a students residence not that far from his own shared apartment, fingers interlaced and walking pretty close to each other.

“I enjoyed tonight so much,” she says when they reach her building. She has been smiling the entire walk back home, making Jungkook all soft on the inside.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Jungkook notices their hands are still closed around each other’s, as if none of them wants to let go just yet. She feels so warm, so perfect.

They stare at each other for what feels so long until she breaks eye contact, releasing and embarrassed giggle and squeezing his hand. He instinctively pulls her closer and before he can regret even thinking about it he leans forward and pecks her cheek.

The moment is so sweet, so soft, he knows if Yugyeom were here he would tease him to no end for being so whipped for a girl he has just met. But it’s Jimin. Tender, bubbly, sweet Jimin. She pulls out a side of him he didn’t know he had, and he loves it. He just enjoys being with her so much he wants it to never end.

While he’s distracted admiring her, she cups the back of his head and drops a kiss on his lips. It’s short, but enough to leave Jungkook thinking he had conquered the world. If he feels like this with just a peck he’s not sure he is going to survive a full make-out session.

“Text me when you get home,” she says, a lovely shade of red covering her cheeks, probably the same that covers Jungkook’s own right now.

“I can’t believe you are dumping me,” says Taehyung fake-crying while resting his head on Yoonji’s shoulder. She just pats his head with one hand while taking a sip of her coffee, giving no shits her boyfriend is asking for attention. Everyone knows Yoonji only functions if she has had her daily dose of caffeine.

“My goodness, you are so dramatic,” says Jimin rolling her eyes. “I wish I could dump your sorry ass that easily.”

“See? she wants me gone Yoon-yoon.” he says poking at her side. Yoonji gives Jimin a long unblinking stare, that would scare everyone else but that Jimin is pretty much used to, before uttering the first words of the morning.

“Aren’t you happy your Jiminnie is finally dating someone decent?” she asks, raising an eyebrow at him. Jimin can see the fondness on her stare and hope she and Jungkook look that cute together. “Look at her, she’s all rosy cheeks and gross giggles whenever Jungkook is brought up.”

“Someone decent?” says Taehyung outraged, lifting his head to stare at her, as if her girlfriend had just bretrayed him, “We don’t know him.”

“Isn’t what this whole meeting thing today is about?,” mumbles Jimin around the rim of her coffee cup, ignoring Yoonji’s previous statement and the amused quirk of her lips. Taehyung, though, is so caught up on his personal drama that ignores it all and keeps talking.

“He could be playing her, feigning to be sweet and charming just to get into her pants.”

“You should judge that after meeting him.” says Yoonji before Jimin can open his mouth to defend her boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend because they have been dating for two beautiful and amazing months and Jimin is ready to fight for him. “You can’t judge a book by its cover. Just like when we met, remember?”

Jimin does remember. Remembers Taehyung seeing Yoonji at the library for the first time and falling in love with her at first sight. Remembers watching surprised, but worried, as her best friend stood up, walked with confidence to the petite girl with dark hair, dark clothes and big earphones on her ears —obviously not wanting to be disturbed— and offered her his back of gummy bears. He remembers his expectant face when she stared at him, then at the gummy bears before grabbing a bunch and uttering a thanks. Jimin remembers thinking how weird they looked together, Taehyung with his bright clothes and bleached blond hair; Yoonji with a complete dark look contrasting beautifully with her pale skin. At first glance they look so different, but they gave each other a chance to get to know each other, to find out what they already had in common and what things to discover together.

They had been quite the talk around campus at first, everyone judging them by their looks, but they made it work and three years later they are still that couple grossly in love.

“I hate it when you are right,” mumbles Taehyung and Yoonji laughs, tugging softly at his earlobe with her fingers. “Still, I will glare at him until I find him deserving of your heart.”

“Please don’t embarrass me,” pleads Jimin with a long sigh, already regretting agreeing to this meeting. Jimin had been prolonging it with excuses whenever Taehyung or Yoonji said to want to meet the guy that had Jimin’s eyes sparkling like diamonds under the moonlight (Taehyung’s words, not hers), but it had been Jungkook suggesting it what actually had Jimin agreeing.

“You are always talking about them,” had said Jungkook one afternoon they had been cuddling on Jungkook’s apartment, “If they are your best friends I want to meet them.”

And maybe Jimin was too whipped to say no.

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” says Taehyung, staring seriously at her. Jimin sighs again before offering a soft smile to her best friend.

“I know Taetae,” she says reaching for his hand. Taehyung immediately interlaces their fingers. “But I… I trust him.”

“But he doesn’t know, right?” asks Yoonji, also serious now that the mood has changed drastically. When Jimin shakes her head no as response, she adds, “Will you tell him? You know you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I know…I really want to tell him.” says Jimin and tries not to cry when Taehyung squeezes her hand, anxiety always comes strong when this topic is brought up. “Honestly, I’m not afraid of who I used to be. It was a battle against myself that I’m proud of surviving, but I know not everyone is accepting and that is what scares me. I know he wouldn’t hurt me intentionally, but as I said it’s a part of who I am today that I want him to know about, I don’t want to hide anything from myself to him.”

When Jimin looks up at them she finds them smiling. Yoonji reaches forward with her hand, resting it above where Taehyung’s and hers are still held tightly.

“We are so proud of you Jiminnie.” she says, fondness on her eyes. They must be quite the scene, Jimin thinks; a girl with clothes dark like the night and dark eyeliner smudged around her eyes, another one with an Iron Man tee and glasses almost bigger than her face, and a boy with a bright yellow shirt and purple hair holding each other’s hands and staring with eyes glassy from unshed tears. A bunch of idiots, it’s what they look like, but this is why she loves them so much.

When Jungkook finally arrives Jimin stands up immediately, almost running to throw herself at him. He catches her easily, arms circling around her waist to press her closer and drop a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Hello, gorgeous.” he says, smiling down at her. She grins, unable to hold it back while staring at those beautiful brown eyes that always seem to have a sparkle on them. So captivating. “Have you been waiting for long? We have a game coming up and coach decided to prolong practice.”

“It’s fine,” she says, taking him by the hand to where Taehyung and Yoonji are waiting, “I would wait forever for you.” she says cheekily, knowing how these kind of words always make Jungkook blush. Right on cue, the tip of his ears turn red, and she can’t help but laugh at his cuteness.

The introduction is less awkward than Jimin expected, and much to her surprise Taehyung is actually civil with Jungkook. Maybe Yoonji gave him a talk while she was gone. Jimin should buy her another coffee in gratitude. It’s Jungkook, though, who buys another round of coffee for everyone in compensation for making them all wait.

“So, Jungkook,” starts Taehyung, stirring slowly his coffee, eyebrow held high and lips pursed. He’s trying to be menacing, but he just looks like an idiot, if you ask Jimin. “What are your plans for the future? career, dream job, children?”

Jimin sighs. Here it comes.

“I’m planning on becoming a personal trainer.” Jungkook says with that boyish smile of his that has Jimin’s heart dong backflips all the time. “I’ve always loved sports, and I want to make it my job. I actually play football for the uni’s team—“

“Yes, I’m aware of that.” interrupts Taehyung, rather rudely in Jimin’s opinion. Yoonji must think the same because she gives him a nudge to his ribs that he profusely ignores in order to keep talking. “You must be really popular between girls and boys alike, you sure you wanna settle down with Jiminnie?”

Jimin quicks Taehyung’s shin, huffing victorious when he yelps loudly. Jungkook seems taken by surprise by that outcome if his stiff posture is anything to go by.

“Sorry, he’s being a dick.” Jimin says glaring at Taehyung, who just sticks out his tongue at her.

“No it’s— It’s fine I understand his concern.” says Jungkook, giving side glances to Taehyung. “I do like her a lot.” he adds, now obviously directed at Taehyung. “She’s the first girl I feel like I want to settle down with.”

That has Jimin flushing, hands instinctively lifting to cover her cheeks. Jungkook never fails to make her heart go crazy. She hears him chuckle, and his hand squeezes gently her thigh, reassuring. She stares at him, and they find themselves tangled in a sweet and lovely staring contest.

“Just so you know,” says Taehyung, popping their bubble of happiness, “Yoonji used to be a part of a gang back in high school-“

“That’s a lie,” denies Yoonji with a snort, obviously amused by her boyfriend’s antics.

“She still could easily kick you in the balls if she wanted to.”

“But I don’t want to.” mumbles Yoonji at the same that Jimin snaps “Could you stop threatening my boyfriend, thank you?”

Jimin knows Taehyung is just being protective but he’s the crossing the line. Jungkook is a sweet kid, only if Taehyung tried to get to know him he would know.

“You are being a dick, honey.” says Yoonji softly, patting his thigh. Taehyung huffs, eyebrows furrowed. Jimin can tell he’s annoyed, not because he’s being scolded, but because he knows he’s acting like a child.

“Sorry, Jungkook.” he says after a couple of seconds of awkward silence, eyes glaring at the table. Jungkook tries to shrug it off, but Taehyung keeps talking, “Jimin has dealt with a lot of shit and I know it’s not my place to say if you are or not good enough for her. I just want her to be happy.” He says the last part looking at Jimin, genuine apology implicit on his eyes. Jimin can’t be mad at him, not when he’s such a precious child.

“I’m trying my best to make her happy,” says Jungkook softly. Jimin is glad he’s not scared, she should buy him tons of banana milk later for not running away after this. “I don’t know what exactly happened that made her so hesitant towards new people, or relationships in general—“ Jimin frowns at that, she didn’t know Jungkook had noticed, “— but I like her and if she is willing to open up to me, I will gladly accept her with everything she has to offer.”

“Whatever it is?” challenges Taehyung, and Jimin finds herself anticipating Jungkook’s answer as well.

“Yes.”

“Unless she has killed someone,” says Yoonji with the corner of her lips curled up in that way that makes her look mischievous like a kitten, “I would advise you to run away, then.”

That’s enough to ease a bit the mood and direct the conversation towards more trivial topics. Jungkook holds her hand during the rest of the afternoon, even afterward when Yoonji and Taehyung leave and Jimin and Jungkook roam around the streets in an impromptu date, neither of them wanting to leave too soon.

Jungkook listens as their coach plans some strategies last minute, furiously drawing on the tiny board with aggressive strokes.

They are on the last five minutes of the game and they need to score to win, since it’s a tie in the scoreboard. The pressure is high.

He feels a bead of swear sneak down his face from his forehead to his chin and he frowns. His shoulder hurts a bit from one rough tackle but he plays an important role in the team, he can’t sit on the bench and do nothing when they need more than ever to play united as a team.

When the coach gives them the cue to go back to the field, Jungkook turns his head around, finding with ease Jimin on the bleachers, smiling widely at him, hand waving energetically upon noticing him staring. He would hate it so much to loose this match; he can’t lose the first one Jimin has come to see.

Jungkook pats his mates on the shoulders as he situates himself at the right spot. He inhales, stares back at the scoreboard and then exhales, the referee signals for the game to start.

The longest five minutes Jungkook has ever played, but none the less the most gratifying ones as his team manages to score the points that grant their victory. The whole stadium roars, chanting the team’s name and Jungkook smiles, laughs whole-heartedly as adrenaline pumps through his veins.

He got his win, the first win Jimin was able to witness with her own pretty eyes.

“Congrats, big boy.” Says Taehyung, patting his shoulder with a crooked smile. Jungkook’s smile widens, thanking him with enthusiasm. He’s so happy Taenhyung seems to be trying to accept him, less aggressive with his words every time they meet.

“You were amazing,” adds Yoongi with a soft smile, leaning a bit forward so Jungkook can hear her over the music. “I know nothing about football but I know you were so cool out there.”

Jungkook can’t erase the smile off his face; there’s nothing sweeter than victory. Except for the kiss Jimin rewarded him with when they met after the match. She was shaking from excitement, smiling and saying over and over again how amazing he is. Jungkook couldn’t resist to lift her up and kiss her senseless, both of them ignoring Taehyung’s loud gags of disgust.

The celebratory party is wild, as always. Just an hour in and everyone is drunk, dancing like wild animals. Even Taehyung and Yoonji seem to be having fun despite their clearly hesitance at coming by when Jungkook invited them over.

Jungkook hasn’t left Jimin’s side the whole time, his arm securely around her waist and his nose buried on her neck as they dance. He leaves a kiss just under her ear, making her shiver, soft gasp escaping her.

“You look gorgeous tonight.” says Jungkook gravelly on her ear before nibbling at it. Her hand comes up to cup his neck to subtly press him closer, the other one squeezes his bicep. “Did you dress up for me?”

Jungkook does not usually talk like this, that bravado came from the two beers he’s had so far, and he must thank them for encouraging him, because the shudder that shakes Jimin’s body against his is rewarding.

“I always dress nice,” Says Jimin playfully with a pout. Jungkook can’t deny that, specially not when she is actually looking like a goddess right now in all her black glory, tight choker around her neck included; he kisses her for lack of any better answer.

“I’m glad you could make it,” says Jungkook, embracing her tightly. Maybe he is a bit too drunk, too touchy, brain-to-mouth filter starts malfunctioning, “I love you came to see me play, you know? I wanted to impress you because you are perfect and I want to be perfect for you.”

Jimin giggles as he cups his face with both hands, thumb caressing his bottom lip. Her skin is delicate and warm and her body fits amazingly against his own. Jungkook is so whipped, but he regrets nothing.

“You are a cutie when you are drunk,”

“You are the cutie,” says Jungkook a bit too loudly, maybe a bit too passionate. Jimin doesn’t seem to understand how cute she is, and that’s frutrating. “You have no idea how many times I go all mushy inside because of you.”

Jimin snorts, obviously failing at keeping her laugh. Jungkook pouts despite the beauty of that view. She’s not taking him seriously.

Jimin kisses the pout away, her arms tight around his neck as she holds herself up on her tippy-toes. Jungkook lifts her, enamoured by the way she squeaks in surprise.

“I like you so fucking much.” he mumbles, nudging her nose with his. She kisses him again, open mouthed and wet. They make out just like that, with Jungkook holding her up with his arms under her ass. That cute and round ass that has been giving him nightmares.

They somehow end up cornered somewhere, Jungkook trapping her with his body against a wall, one hand holding her head in place, the other cupping her ass. He groans when her hand rests on his navel, mischievously travels down to stop at his belt. He jerks his hips forwards instinctively to seek for more; it’s been a while since he’s done this and he would love to have another hand that it’s not his touching his dick tonight.

“Wait.” she whispers, her hand now on his chest to make light pressure. Jungkook bites her neck a bit too roughly and she moans as response. “Jung—Jungkook…”

“Hmm?” he jerks his hips forward again, now leaving a soft trail of kisses on her neck. She smells so good, of strawberry if his drunk mind is not wrong; so sweet, just like her.

“Stop.” She pushes him again, with a bit of more force now and Jungkook goes rigid, startled at her loud command.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks now terrified because she’s not looking at him, her hand curled on his chest the only sign that Jimin still wants him to keep him close.

“No,” she says, still looking down. Jungkook has to lean a bit forward in order to hear her over the loud music. “I just— I don’t feel like we should do this.”

“Oh, yeah—“ he does a quick glance-over through the room. No one is staring at them but he knows Jimin isn’t one to go to parties frequently, publicly making out like this must be too much for her. “Should be go to my apartment?”

He doesn’t want to sound pushy, nor fake her feel like she has to do anything with him tonight. He would be lying if he said he wouldn’t like to have celebratory sex tonight but it’s Jimin, not a random hook-up to relieve stress.

“I— I mean, I don’t feel like—“

“Oh shit, ok— it’s fine.” he reassures quickly. He’s a moron, he has clearly upset her. “I’m sorry, I— fuck, I think I drank too much and got carried away—“

“It’s not that…” she says, finally looking up at him. Her eyes are so pretty, he can clearly seem them tonight because of her choice to use contact lenses. The dim lights of the room make her eyes look mysterious, specially with the dark make-up she has on her eyelids. She’s stunning. “I liked it but— I’m not ready for that yet.”

Jungkook nods, leans completely away from her but she stops him with firm grip on his tee and tugs him forward until they are pressed against each other again; Jungkook breaths a bit relieved she isn’t repulsed at him for jumping on her like that, but still feels disgusted at himself for forcing her.

“You didn’t do anything I didn’t like,” she says softly against his lips, as if she could hear his trail of thoughts. “I’m not mad, nor upset, ok?”

He nods again, now more relaxed by her words, “I really didn’t want to force you into anything.”

“You didn’t.” she kisses him again, a slow and tender kiss that makes Jungkook sigh contently.

Jungkook stays moody for solid five minutes after that, still feeling like crap, but she quickly eases him by bringing another round of beers and dancing silly until he laughs and joins. Jungkook, even in his drunken state, can’t deny the stars aligned that day they met, because there isn’t any scientific study to explain how he got so lucky to have someone like Jimin as his girlfriend.

Jimin moans as Jungkook bites and tugs at her bottom lip softly. Jungkook is such a god damn good kisser, and in moments like these is when Jimin feels a bit out of place because of her lack of experience, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He kisses her passionately, as if having her lips on his is the best thing in the world.

She feels his hand caress her bare thigh, the tips of his fingers tickling their way up until they are close enough to the bottom of her skirt to sneak underneath, she shivers. It’s all too much and not enough at the same time.

She tugs at his hair softly when the bite on her neck turns into the start of a hickey as he sucks. Jungkook has a thing for marking her up, it seems; it’s not the first time she goes back home with a hickey on her neck.

The tension is notorious, Jimin is aware. They have been dating for almost five months now and the farthest they have gone in terms of intimacy is heavy make-out sessions and some hickeys here and there. Jungkook understood when Jimin told him he wanted to wait a bit, he was reassuring and comforting when she told him she didn’t feel comfortable with nudity, that she had insecurities.

“It’s fine,” he had said, pecking her on the lips sweetly, “I will wait forever if needed.”

Jimin, not for the first time since they met, wondered how she got so lucky.

She jumps startled when one of Jungkook’s fingers scrape the hem of her panties. Her body jerks so aggressively that she knees him on his ribs without intending to.

“Oh fuck!” she panics as Jungkook lifts himself up, face contorted in pain as one hand rubs his side, “Shit— Jungkook, I’m so sorry—“

“It’s fine,” he croaks out. Despite the obvious pain inflicted, there’s a smile on face, tries to laugh it off. “you know I’m pure muscle, I will survive.”

Jimin groans frustrated, dragging her hands down her face while mumbling more apologies. She hates herself; she was so eager to tell him, to be open about a part of herself she was actually proud of. But now, the words won’t come out and she’s all jumpy and panicked whenever he touches her; she has been dragging this moment for days. Jimin doesn’t know why she feels it’s so important to tell him before they get physical but she knows she won’t feel comfortable in taking their relationship to the next level until she explains everything to him.

It’s not the fact of being transgender that scares her, but his reaction. She’s coming to terms with her body, finally loving it as it is now. What she’s afraid of is Jungkook not wanting her anymore, that the desire that she has seen on his eyes sometimes when he looks at her will disappear once he’s told the truth; fears he could stop finding her atractive.

“Hey, it’s not big deal, you didn’t hurt me,” says Jungkook, voice soft as he pries her hands away off her face. “Are you crying?” he says, voice going high with panic when he sees her teary eyes.

“No,” she says, but it’s hard to sound convincing when she sniffles right after. When she looks at him, though, can’t help but chuckle at his panicked face. “Sorry, I just— Did I really not hurt you?”

“Yes, yes. I’m fine.” he assures quickly, leaning down to kiss her cheek and then her lips, “You could intentionally kick me in the balls and I would thank you and ask for more.”

Jimin laughs, a full-body laugh that has her squeaking embarrassingly loud. Gosh, he’s such a dork; how did she get so lucky?

“Come here you idiot,” she says while cupping his face to force him down for a sweet kiss. They kiss softly for a while, Jugnkook’s hands resting on her waist without moving, the rest of his body hovering over her without resting on her compltely. He probably sensed her discomfort.

“Are you ok, though?” he asks after a while, dropping butterfly kisses along her neck, then up to her jaw to end up on her lips once again. “I’m sorry if I pushed it too much, didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine, you were ok. But we need to talk.” she blurts out too serious all of a sudden. Poor Jungkook leans away, eyebrows furrowed. He looks like he’s just seen a ghost.

“Ok?” he says and then sits up completely, allowing her to do the same.

“It’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while,” she starts with, trying to buy some time to prepare what to say. She’s nervous, anxious, and the knot that forms on her throat won’t let her breath properly but she’s determined to tell him; no backing away. “It’s about…why we haven’t had sex yet.”

Jungkook nods, eyes big like an owl, posture stiff; he’s wriggling his fingers a lot, nervous probably, and Jimin wants to reach out and ease him, so she does. Fuck it, she thinks, maybe he won’t let me touch him again after this.

“You did nothing bad, yeah?” she says when he squeezes her hands, and he seems to relax a bit. Jimin feels bad for making him feel like he did something wrong. “It’s not you, it’s me… I have some insecurities about my body I’m working on.” she doesn’t know where to start from; Jimin feels as nervous as when she told her parents. “You see, even since I was a kid I never felt…happy, felt out of place about everything, specially with my body. Got even worse once I hit puberty and everything started changing. When I was fifteen I realised that the reason I felt so out of place was because I wasn’t in a body fit for me.”

She looks up to Jungkook, who seems more confused than before but says nothing regardless of the million questions that must be flying around his head. She’s happy he’s willing to listen despite how weird everything sounds.

“I was a girl trapped in a boy’s body,” she says, choking through her words, giving her all to not crumble and cry; she has done enough crying for a lifetime, she’s happy and proud of where she stands now, of who she is. “I’m a transgender girl.”

He blinks, opens his mouth as if to say something but no words come out, then blinks again as he wanders his eyes around the room. Jungkook is processing the information, Jimin reminds herself not to panic because he hasn’t let go of her hands yet. That’s a good sign.

“So—“ his voice wavers a bit, then turns his head slowly to her. Jimin breaths a bit relieved when she doesn’t recognise disgust on his face. “You were born a boy?”

“Yes,” she says slowly, patiently. “I started my transition when I was seventeen.”

They stay silent for what feels forever. Jungkook seems to be out of his body, his mind going miles a minute; she can see him thinking, processing this new information.

“So the reason you didn’t want to have sex yet is because you still— uhm, you still have…” He trails off, pointing to her crotch with his eyes.

“Would you mind if I still had penis?” she finds herself asking a bit defensive. This is the real question; his answer is what can change everything. She has read blogs online about other people’s stories, some good, others not so much. This is a crucial point, now is when others would say she is a monster, not natural, that she’s not a real girl.

Jungkook releases soundless laugh, his eyes get a bit teary and so does Jimin’s at the sight.

“No,” he mumbles, one tear rolling down as his lips form a sweet smile. “I would give no shits because I like you so much and I don’t fucking care if you have a penis or whatever.” he adds before licking his lips and inhaling sharply, he looks out of words. He turns his body completely to face her, squeezing her hands, eyes full of determination, no hesitance, no disgust. “I can adapt ok? We can work on this together. I haven’t touched a dick that isn’t mine but I can do it— I can do this for you—“

Jimin can’t let him finish, she throws herself on him, her arms squeezing him into a hard hug as she kisses him passionately. Jungkook makes her sit on his lap, patting her back softly when she breaks down crying and buries her face on his neck, rocking her back and forth with soft ‘it’s fine’ and ‘don’t cry’.

“I don’t have dick,” she says after a while. Jungkook leans away to try to look at her but she is stubborn to hide right now. She’s overwhelmed, her face must be all red and snotty; not a sight she wants him to see.

“You don’t?” he asks hesitant, sounding so confused that Jimn can’t help but laugh.

“I had surgery two years ago,” she explains blinking away her tears. She allows him to lift her chin up and stares at those pretty brown eyes she’s so enamoured with. “I haven’t been with anyone since I got it done, that’s why I’m a bit nervous about us.”

“So that’s why you have been hesitating.” he concludes, visibly relaxing. “I honestly started thinking you weren’t attracted to me or whatever.” he laughs nervously before leaning for a short kiss.

“You are hot as hell,” she mumbles a bit shyly, red colouring her cheeks, “No way I wouldn’t want to be with you…it’s the other way around, actually.”

“No fucking way.” he says quickly with a fervent shake of his head, “You are beautiful Jimin— fuck, I wanted to be with you the moment I saw you all those months ago. Trust me, I’m more than attracted to you. I just told you— I would have sex with you even if you still had dick.”

She chuckles and rests her head on his shoulder as he accommodates her on his lap, arms sneaking around her waist to keep her close. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you for telling me,” he says against her hair before dropping a kiss, “I can imagine it must have been hard for you. You are really brave, and so strong— I might like you even more now.”

Jimin sits up to stare at him, smiling, overjoyed at those words. Jungkook is such a sweet kid with a heart bigger than the entire universe.

“I like you even more now, too.” she whispers, cupping gently his cheek. He leans into it, enjoying her touch. Jimin might be a little bit in love too.

She spends the night. The first time since they started dating. She’s nervous and shaking but she still stays, because there is no other place she would want to be right now than with him.

Jungkook lends her one of his tees and basketball shorts, but she disregards the pants —because they are too big, first of all, and because if she wants this to work she has to start feeling comfortable around him.

Jimin laughs when Jungkook’s jaw drops at the sight of her bare legs. He tries to hide his embarrassment behind an awkward cough, getting into bed without sparing her another glance.

Jimin smiles to herself and pushes her glasses up her nose; this was a nice boost to her ego.

“Hold me?” she pouts at him once they are both under the blankets. She presses her back against him, biting her lip when she hears him choke.

“OK,” he breathes out. His hand hovers over her body, hesitant, as if this is his first time touching her, “Fuck, I feel like a teen having his first boner.”

She laughs, turning her head around to look at him, “Are you having a boner?” she teases, not knowing where that bravado came from. She is not sure she wants to face a boner right now.

“If you keep pressing that cute ass against my dick, I will.” he says while securing his arm around her waist.

She giggles, relieved the room is dark enough so Jungkook won’t see her blush. Jimin wriggles around until both are comfortable, feeling her face heat up more as she feels his dick press gently against the curve of her ass; He’s half hard, but it’s enough to feel he’s quite the size. Oh, boy.

Jimin feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. Jungkook’s lack of rejection obviously easing her discomfort to the point of feeling brave enough to be in some level of undress around him. She knows she wants him, but maybe it’s too soon to try to resolve this sexual tension between them.

“We don’t have to do anything.” he whispers, warm breath hitting her nape. She shivers slightly, and his arm squeezes her in response, “I’m content with just holding you like this.”

“Me too.”

Jimin interlaces their fingers and brings their hands to her chest, finally relaxing as she closes her eyes.

Jungkook is right. This is nice, just holding each other like this feels like perfection. They have plenty of time to do much more.

#jikook #kookmin #jikook fic #kookmin fic #college au #trans female character #trans girl jimin #femJimin #femYoongi / Yoonji #side pairing taegi #mentions of body dysphoria #sam writes

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dragimal · 6 years

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How different are the crybaby characters compared to the characters in the manga? I haven't been able to watch it since I only have hulu and amazon prime.

(if u ever wanna watch it I could maybe try to set up a rabb.it for anyone interested and mooch my roommate’s netflix for a few viewing events. big maybe tho, I haven’t had a lot of personal time lately, and I don’t see that changing soon..)

for my own convenience I’m gonna try to do a compare/contrast list (+ personal “ideal” versions b/c why not). also, I must repeat my disclaimer that it’s been a minute since I read the og manga so some details may be warped by my memory

Ryo:

OG pre-Satan:

environmentalist, conspiracy theorist, flips wildly between completely neutral/dead-pan and hysterical (which could be for any emotion– he could be hysterically happy, hysterically mad, etc.). he’s not the best strategist and often makes snap decisions (ex– doesn’t super give a shit abt blowing his cover, as long as he can make a clean/quick getaway). his “sacrifice the few for the many” approach is questionable, but ultimately logical in a battle for the survival of humanity as a whole. more likely to seriously injure than outright murder people. pretty desperate to keep Akira by his side. he’s basically the right image below

OG post-Satan:

they actually face their mistakes and realize that by trying to wipe out humans, they turned into a version of the God they opposed, ultimately trying to wipe out a whole race of beings that deserve to live as much as anyone else, despite their faults. this is ultimately a lesson on Satan’s hubris, and lends to a thematically satisfying (and soul-crushing) ending

(x)

Crybaby pre-Satan:

basically cool/collected throughout, with very few moments where he loses his cool (or has much emotion at all, really). seems like he knows what he’s doing most of the time, and most of his decisions seem to have a far-reaching goal that was planned ahead. indiscriminately kills everyone who poses even the slightest threat to his plans, despite the fact that his plans are supposedly for the sake of humanity. doesn’t seem super attached to Akira, beyond using Akira for his goals. basically the left image above

Crybaby post-Satan:

Akira apparently taught Satan that love exists and is good? idk, the whole point of the OG plot was that Satan’s love of the demons pushed them to hate humanity. I think this is actually the main structural change that ruins the entire demon/Satan-revenge arc of Crybaby irreparably, b/c basically everything falls apart if Satan doesn’t feel any love or even obligation to the demons. like, if Satan doesn’t love demons already, then what’s even the point? as can be seen by the lack of cohesion/logic in anything Satan or their lackeys do, Crybaby clearly doesn’t know either. it’s also not a super effective approach when u can’t actually feel the love Satan/Ryo apparently has for Akira, and have to have it spelled out in the last 5 minutes of the series :/

Ideal Ryo:

OG Ryo, in all respects (aesthetics, personality, etc.). tho I do like Crybaby’s puffy white coat, that’s 100% fashion-disaster OG Ryo

Akira:

OG pre-Amon:

very skittish– will avoid confrontation as much as possible, but will still stick around to protect those he cares abt, even if he’s scared shitless. wary of weird stories abt demons, and rightfully questions their validity

OG post-Amon:

(edited w/ thessaliah’s input)

fiercely protective of humans until he realizes the atrocities they’re committing against themselves and devilmen, at which point he completely denounces humanity. thus, shows a strong sense of justice over forgiveness

Crybaby pre-Amon:

obliviously cheerful and trusting– I’m legitimately not sure if he’s actually brave or just too dense to recognize danger as it comes. doesn’t question weird stories abt demons, and is ready to step right into the frying pan w/ barely an ounce of information beforehand

Crybaby post-Amon:

(edited w/ thessaliah’s input)

cries a lot, which I think is a nice visual metaphor for his inner humanity. much more forgiving of humanity, even when he sees humans at their worst.

Ideal Akira:

personality-wise, I’d have to say OG, particularly for pre-Amon. while Crybaby pre-Amon is kinda cute in his obliviousness, I prefer the Akira who will knowingly jump into danger for those he loves, despite how scared he is. + I was so mad when Crybaby Akira didn’t question ANYTHING abt Ryo’s demonic explanations, like wtf dude u just swallowed that shit hook line and sinker, huh?

on reflection, I also prefer OG post-Amon, b/c I think it’s a lot more soul-crushing to see this ~largely~ idealistic character finally finally get worn down to the point of just giving up on those he was trying to protect. Crybaby’s overly-idealistic approach isn’t necessarily bad, but I do think it smooths out Akira’s rough edges a bit too much for my liking. tho Crybaby def has a leg-up thematically when it comes to the crying, I love that so much

aesthetically I could go for either, but I think I’d ideally love the look of everything Crybaby Akira + OG sideburns/mullet lmfao

Miki:

OG:

prideful as a personality trait, thus takes any slight as a personal offense. unashamed, but simultaneously defensive of her abilities (namely has some internalized misogyny in the beginning, which she eventually overcomes). impulsive and somewhat socially dense, which leads her to being unintentionally harsh in situations where she thinks she’s trying to enact “tough love”. could be read as (obnoxiously) selfish in situations where she wants Akira to fit her standards, and doesn’t question his changed state (and more importantly, doesn’t miss the ‘old Akira’)

Crybaby:

proud of her accomplishments, but not necessarily defensive of her position– she’s secure enough in her abilities to not feel threatened. thoughtful of those around her and what they may be going through. possibly too trusting, considering the whole situation w/ her agent. actually seems aware and somewhat wary of Akira’s changed state, even if she does like it

Ideal Miki:

this one’s tough b/c as much as I hate OG Miki and Akira’s relationship, there are certain negative traits that I think give OG Miki a more dynamic character than Crybaby. like OG’s socially dense, unintentionally harsh approach is p interesting to see, esp if it’s highlighted as a point of growth for her. of course, I want to completely trash the way OG Miki treats Akira in terms of throwing him into dangerous situations and harshly criticizing his pre-Amon character, but I wouldn’t necessarily mind seeing her sometimes harshly criticize Akira’s decisions in a way that is clearly framed as her trying to help Akira (even if it isn’t necessarily the most ideal approach). I also love OG Miki’s bubbly, unashamed personality, which is a gr8 contrast to her harsh approach to social situations

as for Crybaby, I fuckin ADORE Miki’s relationship w/ Miko, which I think only works the way it does b/c Crybaby Miki is securely proud, not defensively prideful like OG. plus, OG Miki’s defensive pride is p damn annoying to me, ESPECIALLY her internalized misogyny, god I want that completely trashed. yeah, OG eventually grows past the misogyny, but it feels less like satisfying character development, and more like a relief, like, “oh thank god she ain’t pullin’ that shit anymore”

I suppose, given all this, my ideal Miki is one that combines OG’s social harshness/denseness (to a logical/understandable degree), bubbly temperament, and impulsiveness, with Crybaby’s secure pride in her abilities and actual physical prowess (+ Crybaby’s love of cats, which is adorable and relatable)

Miko:

OG:

tbh I had to look her up again b/c I completely forgot her arc/personality. idk if that’s on her actually being a boring character, or if it’s just the fact that her arc was dropped in the middle of all the other wild bullshit of the main plot wayyyy at the end of the series

anyways, she’s a former delinquent trying to reform herself, but her old gang/posse won’t leave her alone, and she’s all stressed out over being half-demon. I don’t remember her personality necessarily being affected by the demon, which is kinda odd. also her demon form is some tiddy/pussy-volcano ridiculousness

Crybaby:

it’s worth noting that the actual, literal OG Miko makes a very brief appearance in Crybaby as one of the half-demon test subjects held captive by scientists– volcano-tits and all. personally, I count this as OG Miko’s actual Crybaby counterpart, but for the sake of comparing important characters, I’ll be comparing OG Miko to main Crybaby Miko since they share a name and an actual arc in each respective series

Crybaby Miko is insecure and wants so very badly to prove herself to others, especially Miki. this is especially potent considering Miko’s actual name is Miki, but she’s forced to stick with Miko as a name b/c Miki’s popularity/prowess overshadows any other potential Miki. post-demon, this jealousy manifests itself as an insatiable competitive streak, as Miko now has the ability to not only reach Miki, but surpass her level. Miko eventually realizes that at least part of her insecurity was misplaced affection for Miki. thus, part of Miko’s desire to be on the same playing field as Miki was so she could feel worthy of potentially dating her. also, Miko’s demon form is some kinda spider creature

Ideal Miko:

just b/c of her personal/thematic connection to Miki, I’d have to vote Crybaby Miko for almost all traits. I rly love her arc in Crybaby, and she’s a lot more personally connected to the plot than OG Miko is (considering OG Miko appears super late in the game, and barely interacts w/ Devilman).

though I do like the idea of a former delinquent trying to reform herself– it might be kinda interesting to integrate that into Crybaby Miko. maybe have her be a delinquent before she met Miki (I can’t remember how long they knew each other in Crybaby, but I’m thinking maybe have Miko be a middle school delinquent, then a reformed high-schooler). it might be especially interesting to see how Miko struggles to restrain a delinquent side that was used to getting what she wanted, then have it all fall apart when she’s merged with a demon

Crybaby Miko is also more interesting aesthetically, in all her forms (human, devilman, and demon). I’m esp super gay for her devilman form, while her full-demon form is such a huge improvement on tiddy-volcanoes. I do like OG’s hat tho, I wish Crybaby could have OG’s hat

Bullies/Rappers:

OG:

a little fuzzy on the details of these guys as well, but I mostly remember their overall arc

in the OG, these guys are straight-up bullies/delinquents, and aren’t there to fuck around. at first, they’re extremely aggressive towards Akira and Miki, and straight-up threaten to rape Miki. later on, once Akira gains their respect (and the world starts goin to shit), they become reliable, rough-around-the-edges friends, and try to protect Akira and Miki as much as they can

Crybaby:

these guys seem like harmless, disenfranchised rappers. they could be read as dangerous when they first approach Miki, but I honestly don’t think they would have done anything even if Ryo hadn’t intervened– I think they were just trying to scare her. Kukun in particular plays a significant role in Miko’s arc (however brief). they all rap about the hardships and injustices of society in a way that fits p well w/ the plot

Ideal bullies:

I rly love the OG bullies for how they go from aggressively antagonistic to aggressively protective of Akira and Miki. however, I rly hate exactly how aggressive they start out (namely, their willingness to straight-up rape Miki), which kinda sours their connection to Akira/Miki later on. it’s, uh, hard to forget something as serious as that, even when the ppl in question do seem to have changed some

as for Crybaby, I rly love how the rappers are a misfit group that makes comments abt society at large as the story progresses. + the rapping itself is p damn entertaining. I also, of course, adore Kukun’s relationship w/ Miko

it’s hard to say which I like more, but I’d def have to cut legitimate rape threats from the OG characters to truly appreciate them. as a way of merging some of their best traits, it might be interesting to see the stakes raised w/ the Crybaby rappers, and have them carry knives and make actual threats against Miki/Akira’s safety at first (again, w/o the rape threat,,), only to find out later it’s just a facade they put up for their own safety (but still won’t back down if they actually ARE up against trouble)

closing comment I guess

I think those are all the characters I feel like talking abt. I could talk abt other characters who got some significant changes (like Miki’s parents, or Akira’s parents), but I didn’t feel any particular way abt them in the OG or Crybaby, so they’re not rly worth my personal time ¯|_(ツ)_/¯

#devilman #devilman crybaby #shut up ashley

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

Text

Episode 6 | “His best Amanda Kimmel "Go girl, give us nothing!" impersonation” - Liam

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ryrU-tXQbMyAa2Sl_GFiJb61i6qUNY-x/view?usp=sharing

aj went home??!?!?! hello!? JAKE SURVIVED SO THERE IS A GOD

Who feels like shit? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And now I remember why I feuded with Jakey... he literally did what ever he wanted. Which is very inconvenient for the rest of us. I know he put my name down. Granted 3 minutes ago I was sure it was Dan but after briefly snapping at him I put it together. Dan, 7:21 PM Seriously I’m not mad about it ahha I can see how my words were taken. And then I definitely said this afternoon we hadn’t talked and that was why I thought you would be the vote on my end Yeah you were a target before AJ started throwing my name out. I own up to that 100% So now it's time to play voting detective... yaayyyyyyyyyyyy (em llik) This entire vote started off with Jakey and Dan. Dan claims that he didn't bring my name up, but it would be an ass pull for Jakey to come to me with Dan wanting me dead immediately after the immunity challenge and then suddenly manifest it. Jakey immediately comes to me and I immediately come to the Dumb Betches (tm). I want Dan out but it's just not realistic as the other side isn't as comfortable playing with a pure beauty team. Next day we form the Thots R Us alliance and Jakey and Scott plead their case for AJ to leave and we, like idiots, go for it. Dan continues to campaign for me. Devon gets into the mix at some point and tells Dan that AJ is voting for him. Dan changes his vote. Now according to Augusto around this point, Jakey mentioned the possibility of having an extra vote before completely shutting it down. Claiming it to be "unnecessary". I think this sparked the idea to tell AJ about the vote under the guise of "golly gee I don't wanna vote for Dan because honor and stuff so I'm voting for you". I assume it's around then he wrote my name down. Like a bitch. Sorry I'm trying to be less hateful and aggressive but man it's harrdddddddd. My guess is that he wanted a beauty out no matter what and figured he'd have better luck convincing the others to vote for me in a situation where an idol is played. He probably also wanted me and Dan to turn further against each other. Unfortunately for him, I spent all of my impulse control that day on not chewing Dan's head off and I snapped immediately afterwords and so some things were cleared up. It has to be Jakey not just because of all the things lining up and not just because it is in his character but I genuinely can't imagine anyone else doing so. - AJ and Amir are loyal hoes. Plus if one of them did something that absurd, it wouldn't exactly benefit them. It puts strain between our relationships with the other players and honestly I don't know why they'd waste a vote on me when if an idol is played they risk losing a beauty majority. - Devon doesn't seem like he would make any waves and seems to have taken a liking to me. Granted I'm less sure about him then the others but he did put most of the work in convincing Dan not to put my name down. Plus he doesn't seem to have anticipated AJ having an idol. - Scott, to do something like this would have been risky. I'm his primary connection to the beauty alliance, if AJ were to play an idol he would have risked losing an asset. - I truly think Dan isn't lying to me because he genuinely believed if he didn't vote for AJ he'd be fucked. He wasn't comfortable with where the votes lied, to throw a vote towards me would have been pretty dumb and insanely reckless. Jakey is the only person I can think of who would go out so out of his way for something like this. Chaos is more or less his calling card. Plus it would be in his best interest to keep around someone in his majority alliance and get rid of a beauty. And he probably thought that I was a better option considering past history or whatever. :/ So now we have to sacrifice Jakey to the survivor gods not because he wrote my name down but because I can't trust him to keep his shit together and vote with us. We were going to target Dan next and he probably won't be chill with that. He probably would prefer to aim for Devon or One of the beauties. And that well, wouldn't be in my best interest either. In the mean time, I'm just going to sit still and look pretty.

Ok, I need to make a quick apology. Talking to Autumn and Duncan has been the highlight of my game thus far. Autumn went to the same undergrad as me and Duncan is one of the most genuine guys I've ever met. I feel terrible for ever being doubtful of being on the same tribe as them. Because now I really think I have two more people that I feel I can trust and move with further, which (in the words of the perfect Mrs. Kim Spradlin) means I have options, and I think this can guarantee a spot for me at merge and a really good group to make some moves with that isn't as obvious to people. If we were to go to tribal, I think my target would be Connor which should be an easy vote given his general lack of activity on the tribe thus far, but I'm also not against the prospect of blindsiding Ali as I think there's a chance he has that Apis idol and I'm certain he has a few tricks up his sleeves.

okay soooo i have two LONG video confessionals uploading from the last two days but wow stuff is happening... so first off, the nuThoth tribe voted off... AJ?! which is so unexpected, that shakes up the game completely, like now it means the game is changed... it means the brawn four on this tribe sticking together is a really bad idea, and it just... everything has changed. i'm so so glad jake has survived, which keeps one good ally in on nuThoth. I'm still scared of Augusto/Amir/Kendall/Scott, but hopefully one will go if they go to tribal again? idek but yeah a lot of this will be repeated in my video, but god is a woman. and her name is autumn, i called with autumn for TWO HOURS yesterday and it was a transcendent experience, i literally love her so much. and it was such a good conversation, like i 100% overshared but it was great to kinda link up... i talked to her about adam (more on him later), she filled me in on the brain hot goss and she is of course someone i want to stick with. on this tribe, the two i feel best about are tj and autumn - tj i was SO mean to at the start but i actually get really good energy from him now? i really want to solidify something with him, i definitely want to stick wit him. jordan i think trusts me a lot but for some reason i continue to have anxiety about him (but he is a good shield in a merge situation). i for some reason get really good vibes from connor? i think i would love to talk to him more (will pm him today) - i think connor gives off good vibes and particularly since adam's conspiracy of a beauty illuminati is over i think i could trust him a lot? we haven't spoken much but he has really good ally potential imo. adam is a tricky one. for some reason i do NOT trust him. he is in EVERYONES pms peddling this same narrative and is just doing a lot? i think he is a real slippery player, and i feel like he is a fish who if we release into the ocean of a merge tribe we will never get back? i have such anxiety about him making it far so i'd love for him to go as soon as possible. its tough tho because now that a beauty majority voted off a beauty, i feel like the brawn four on this tribe need to do similar? so maybe i need to vote off liam? its just annoying because i trust liam, and i'd LOVE to get adam out but i dont see the numbers to pull that off. so i feel like we have to vote liam to give ourselves wiggle room as brawn players, but from there idk... because i want adam GONE grrrrrrrrrr its frustrating. hopefully we win this challenge, and the other tribe has another chance to get rid of someone... like the less decisions i have to make the better at this point i take it back jordan is so sweet, he is like a teddy bear... its just whether he is a care bear or lotso from toy story

i cant remember what my last confessional said so im just gonna start with last tribal: aj got voted out ........ of all the false beautys it had to be him the ONE who actually was nice to me and was the whistleblower on that main alliance? when i said it'd ironically beautiful to me to see one of the beautys voted out he was NOT any of the ones i was talking about then we get our next immunity and oh would you look at that... THREE people have to sit out meaning there's gonna surely be another chat with 5 people in it to say lets vote adam out AGAIN.......as soon as i saw this challenge my ptsd immediately was triggered and i was trying SO hard to sound like i wanted to be in one of the things even if i wouldnt have been good at it just so i could rest easy but it didnt really work out, in fact the highlight of the challenge was actually me and duncan and our contribution of sitting on the sidelines looking pretty while they all flopped but bless their hearts at least they tried, so now we're going back to tribal, and again i didnt compete in immunity which apparenly is cause for a target now so ... im HOPING that doesnt happen again, and if it does then i probably deserve to go home! i was kinda just.... not in the mood to talk to anyone much of yesterday or even today just because um.... i didnt want to dfakdfs mostly due to that dumb bitch DeDe Pressión just making me wanna do nothing but lay in bed and torture myself by watching more real survivor but i woke up today in a better mood, the moods they come and they go, much like me i love being elusive so hopefully people just dont think im like such dumb bitch who doesnt wanna talk or whatever, because believe it or not the gorls can be so hateful over you not being able to recite their whole life story back to them at the final triabl! they ripped me to shred my first season because i couldnt tell them so and so had a purple sheep back on the farm in late october 2007 like gorl plea .... so yeah ive been trying to talk to more people today to compensate, not sure where it will go, it did reassure me a bit that liam messaged me like RIGHT after the challenge and began already saying stuff about connor like ooh gorl michael_jackson_i_love_this_song.gif, but i just need to be careful because i dont want to seem like im the one controlling the vote, because odds are im gonna get made to look a fool and ill go home, or be left in the dark, but im gonna try to have slightly more faith in these people and hope they're buying what im selling, because it's pretty good stuff, i just want to feel like im the most expensive iphone in the store you know, like i want to be able to say im building relationships nonetheless and will make people come running to ME with information but who knows. I'm either playing decently and in a good spot right now, or im a fucking delusional schizophrenic so im hoping tribal reveals something like that one way or another. at least if i get voted off i can stop letting this game stress me the HELL out in the middle of a fucking pandemic

youtube

When AJ leaves and you can trust your new alliance with the beauties and Jakey https://media.tenor.com/images/b4c2f5c658c1d3ade7e506ee7ffe3c5e/tenor.gif When you win your first tribal immunity challenge of the season https://i.imgur.com/8xzlbRW.gif When you don’t have to see Alyssa and Jess at tribal https://media.giphy.com/media/6nuiJjOOQBBn2/giphy.gif My tribe when I get to go to bed early because I don’t have to stay up stressing about tribal https://media.vanityfair.com/photos/58c16a15208b4945c3920cf0/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/nicole-kidman-seal-clap.gif

Second tribal of the game for me and I am feeling good once again. i see myself in a position where I dont think i am being targeted and I really just have room to grow and form my social relationships. I feel bad for connor cause I think he will be going home barring anything crazy happening. He was someone I wanted to work with going into this game, but ill be honest his social game is just abysmal he needs to talk to people more. I originally thought he was just not talking to me cause he assumed we were good but apparently everone feels like they cant have a convo with him. Its way too early for me to do something crazy and deviate so I think hes gonna be blindsided tonight. Maybe I want to lock down a final 2 with TJ soon im starting to trust him more and more and hopefully he feels the same way. Im pretty confident that were gonna merge at 12 because thats the first time my legacy advantage is coming into play but im not sharing that information, that power is as locked to the chest as can be I will not tell a soul all game about it, thats how you become a fan favourite game changer sierra dawn thomas and I will not be her, married to joe anglim what a thought. Im off focus, either way Ive talked a lot about feeling very rocky in this game so far and feeling like I havent found my footing, but Im getting a foundation built now and once I get going, theirs no stopping me.

Is it seriously only Day 14..? Ugh, this game drags on for so, so long. Tonight is gonna be deja vu of Kvaloya in which I once again send home Connor, hopefully unanimously again. I respond to his fucking messages, and he's doing his best Amanda Kimmel "go girl, give us nothing!" impersonation right now. It's ANNOYING. I can't work with someone who does this!

oh duncan. oh duncan duncan duncan. every single time we play together you underestimate me as a player and it is infuriating? so this time you don't want an alliance with me? that's fine... but don't think i wont find out. i'm literally my blood is boiling that he thinks he can get away with this... grr. but also i love autumn for telling me, it shows me i can trust her and we are gonna go the distance. anyway so i do think connor is going to leave tonight and me freaking out will only make it me instead... so i will go with it. but now im waiting to see what jordan and tj say... and to see if they tell me. i dont think tj will tell me, but i do think jordan BETTER. i'm defending him to autumn, so he owes me plus he says we are a duo so he better JKASLDFAF. so now? i feel like i need to trust adam and stop being so nervous to trust him... he is on the bottom with me and we need to flip this upside DOWN. if me/adam link up, that will be good... because im not down to be stuck on the bottom for more than a vote... being on the bottom is how to go home and that's not my thing

So now that the vote is looming, I think that we have it fully on Connor now. Duncan and I came up with the fake vote of Adam which Connor seemed to take? Although he's asking questions that seem fishy, so let's just hope he buys it. And Duncan and I made an alliance of me, him, Jordan, and Autumn which is perfect to have going into merge. I still need to figure out how best to integrate the two so that they can know Jakey is going to work with us but not enough so that they don't know that me/Jakey/Jordan also have an alliance together. But this is awesome going into the next round, and I'm just praying that we don't see an idol played, because that would be DISASTER!

the way i've called adam shady for days and days and now i trust him one of the most? wow a growth arc. i'm still heated about duncan. he is SOO likable and charismatic, and is someone who is genuinely always just fun to play with? so him being in this gamebot really dry state is so frustrating because ik if he just relaxed and let his natural personality out he would snap?! he is just so fixated on doing well this season that he is getting in his own way (at least imo, but this is coming from mr im not in an alliance so im bitter KJSAFD). so anyway now that duncan is not a viable ally anymore, i need to solidify the other connections... and i think adam and autumn are the move. adam is clearly just desperate for allies and while he is over-eager, i think he is earnest so ill stop being paranoid about him. autumn is just a queen and a goddess so im gonna stick with her too... liam is lovely too... i just want duncan OUTTTTTTTTTTT he will not get away with this, i am the meddling kid(s) who will ruin his plans... will duncan go to the end as the gamebot leader... well... https://gph.is/2dmg9hV

also can i just say i love tj?! like i sent duncan very similar messages about feeling like i've been out of it, and the difference in their responses is remarkable: tj: I think everyone understands that you haven't been 100% the last few days, so I doubt anyone is going to fault you for that. And everyone knows that it's a game, real life does come first. like... sweet, supportive without being patronising? validating duncan: and i don't think things have really kicked off over here yet, i think its going to be an "easy vote" but we'll see what happens duncan.... immediately to game, almost his own conversation... i'm... over it?

well we have tribal in just a few hours, and tonight it's gonna be pretty clear cut in the sense that, ill finally have answers because um it's either gonna be me or connor ive been doing my best to lead this smear campaign against him, only because he made the wrong move by coming for me first and continuing to lie to my face about it so at this point i wish i felt bad but i dont. I could be completely delusional but I do think it's working because people have come to ME first and said they want to vote connor, because of both what i was saying and because he just hasnt been talking to many people besides right after the challenge so like... people can see how transparent that is pls also because MULTIPLE people have approached me first today telling me he plans on voting me out so unless they're specializing in some hardcore reverse psychology...i think i have a shot at it being 7-1 connor but once again i literally could be being made out to be a whole ass goof and not even know. or even worst have got all the numbers on my side but then get idol'ed out fdhaskj both very likely scenarios because things never seem this easy in this game ive been trying my best to get to know people and i feel like im slowly connecting more with some of them, so i guess tonight at tribal will be a test on those relationships because all the people ive been talking to will either, believe me, trust me, and wanna play with me, or theyre gonna listen to connor and vote me out, and honestly if they vote me out over him then i completely deserve to go home because clearly im doing something wrong my biggest fear is im hoping i havent come off too strong trying to play by painting this narrative of the old hathor's and connor being so against me, because while yes obviously i want connor gone for my own reasons, the trick is i dont want people to think im leading a charge against him (even tho i absolutely am) because i dont want that kinda target on me but truly who the fuck knows, i could very well go home but idk. this game is like walking into a serial killer convention and trying to stay alive, that's how i feel like im putting my faith in the hands of killers, it's making a bitch shook so i guess we'll see but in a perfect world..... connor will leave....which may look bad because of old tribe lines, but im really trying to wor any magic i have to where me being the only beauty on this tribe would be beneficial for me to hopefully be sought after by any brawns or brains, but if you ask me old tribe lines are about to be nonexistent. even though there will be 4 brawns next round, ive been trying to connect to some of them in the hopes that theyll ditch any old alliance they have to work with me but only time will tell so um yeah keep me in your thoughts and prayers pls

Not gonna lie, I haven't done much of anything this round but I don't mind it! Sometimes I just wanna be a lazy bitch yknow? But yeah, Thoth FINALLY beat its 0 challenge wins curse and we won immunity which I am thankful for given tribal would've been extremely messy? With the Kendall vote last round (which I think was Jakey or Jakey telling Dan to do so), who knows what would've been the outcome! Yay for safety <3

hiiiii no video because i no longer want to do them. let the record show that i was the 1st to say adam's name, if he goes, i did that. if i go, i did that.

i didn't make a confessional this round and tribal is about to start! im going to expect connor to go but this would be a shitty last confessional if i go home tonight. I'm hoping to establish trust within this new tribe. Wish me luck! XOXO Gossip Girl. also my dog just ate the cake i left on the counter >.> thats why im late.

I can't give y'all a real confessional right now cause Cagayan has me screaming but I believe Connor is going home 7-1 and I gave the green light to an alliance I plan on turning on whew so see y'all soon

So basically, tribal happened, beauties lost a number unanimously, theres pros and cons to this. Pros: ppl think the idol left, beauty is less threatening, we show loyalty to more people and build relationships. Bad: someone lied. that kendall throw away vote was to ensure a beauty went home in case aj played an idol, and everyone claims it wasnt them, so someone on this tribe has a case of the LIE-ABETES. * anyway, here is Shit I learned today aka dirt on ppl: 🎃Devon - told me that dan was afraid of an all beauties thing 🎃Jakey - told me dan Ali him and Jordan were a majority - told me Ali has the idol - told me Ali is a rat who warned lovelis - called Adam annoying and ugly - said he wants Devon out next - thinks Devon voted kendall 🎃 scott - told me Devon screwed him over and got himself voted out on brains - told me autumn and Duncan are a duo 🎃 Dan - told jakey that he thinks the brains tribe voted kendall to divide beauty and brawn 🎃 kendall - hidden secret alliance with Jakey - hates dan 🎃 augusto - super close with Devon - wants to blindside Jakey - thinks Jakey is the kendall vote

#BackWithVengeance

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

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Survey #112

“i’m like a jesus crisis.”

Have you ever kissed someone who was drunk? He wasn't wasted or anything, but I'm pretty sure he was drunk with how ungodly talkative he was, and was way more expressive of emotions than he naturally was. Do you like going to weddings? I do again now. Although I haven't been to one since recovery, I'm sure I'd handle it fine and actually be happy this time. I need to get more comfortable in that setting since I'd actually really like a big part of my hopeful photography career to be weddings. Such a big celebration of love is something I adore. I already just like taking pictures of couples. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? BECAME pregnant, uh, I think a person I'm actually doing pictures for in January. Beach, city, or mountains? M O U N T A I N S. DAMMIT they're so beautiful. You get a call at 2:00 a.m. - your first thought is: My instinctive answer to this question is, "is something wrong with Sara?" I live with my mom and sister, so it wouldn't be them, and it's not like Ashley calls me if there's trouble, she'd call Mom. Dad would call Ashley. She's pretty much the only thing that would come to mind if someone called me at 2:00 A.M. Future names of your children: I'm not having kids, but I'd absolutely name my daughter Alessandra and my son probably Luther, Vincent, or Victor. How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? She's aware I'm a virgin but have "done things." Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses’ names? Nick and very recently Joshua. I don't know if one's married or anything whatsoever, two are in relationships, idk about my brother. Do you think age matters in relationships? In romantic relationships, yes. What brand of face wash do you use? Biore. What’s the last letter of your last name? S Did your parents give you an allowance as a kid? No, we couldn't afford to do that. Would you ever consider moving to another country for your career? No, and that's the reason I'm not pursuing being a meerkat biologist. Do you have any lingerie? Lol no, no one wants to see me in that. What was the shortest amount of time you knew someone before dating them? A few weeks. Maybe a little less than a month. What is your favorite app on your phone? Fuckin' thanks Sara, DragonVale. I love Pinterest more when I actually go on it, but I don't use it a lot. Which of your pets were you closest to in your lifetime? The dog I have now, Teddy. Who are you most proud of? Myself. I don't mean that in an arrogant way, but seriously. I don't over-exaggerate what I've been through, but I don't make it sound lesser than what it was, either. I know I should be proud. When you’re eating pizza do you add anything like crushed peppers, parmesan cheese or hot sauce to it? No. Jason got me into adding hot sauce to jalapeno pizza (we wanted death, I know), but I don't do it now. Loved it, but I think it being slightly less hot was more enjoyable. When was the last time that you plucked your eyebrows? I've never plucked them; I used to get them waxed, but no longer do. Don't see the point- they're just going to grow back, and quickly, and I'm not wasting money on that maintenance. It's not like normal eyebrows are hideous anyway. Do you ever argue or debate with people about your beliefs? I will avoid this at all costs. I hate it. When’s the last time you had Sunny D? Holy moly, I couldn't tell you. But it used to sometimes give me heartburn, so I could only fucking imagine drinking it now if I hadn't taken my heartburn medication. Would you turn a family member in if you see them commit murder? Duh. Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? A total stranger, honestly, no. I don't know anything about that person. Could be a piece of shit. Have you ever embarrassed someone intentionally in public? I don't remember ever doing so, and I never could now. As someone with AvPD, I know how fucking awful embarrassment can be. Plus it's just rude to try to make someone uncomfortable like that. Are you more likely to believe a man or woman? I'm perfectly aware this is wrong, but a woman. I'm afraid of and don't trust men. Are you satisfied with the picture on your ID card? Hell no. Thank God I look like a totally different person now. What fruit did you last eat? Hmmm, maybe strawberries? What font do you use most? I prefer Garamond for basic things. Are you allergic to anything? Pollen, big time, and silver. Where is your dad from? Ohio. ... Or maybe he was born in Michigan but grew up in Ohio. Idk. Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? Ashley's co-worker's. What was the first thing you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. And it's still the only thing I know how to cook lmao. What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? Squirrels and birds are the only things you commonly see. But you'll see a deer sometimes, too, and more rarely a rabbit. I think I've seen a fox once in my entire life. Oh yeah, you'll see possums and raccoons sometimes at night. Does it take a lot to make you cry? Noooope. Well, yes to physical pain. What’s the longest hospital stay you’ve had? For what? Uhhh I think I was there for two weeks. Mental stuff. Do you know any same-sex married couples? Hm... I actually don't think I personally do. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? There was a point where we dated, Jason was like my only real life friend lol, so he was. Now I call my girlfriend my best friend, but if you don't include s/os, then my current one would be a guy. Skim, 1%, 2% or whole milk? Eh, probably 2%. Was the last person you kissed physically attractive? Personally, I wasn't physically attracted to him. But he's definitely not an ugly guy or anything. Do you prefer to say “haha” or “lol?” I'd say I use them just about the same amount... maybe "lol" more? How many stories does your house have? One. Were you dreams very vivid as a child? Yes. Do you eat meat? If you do, what is your justification for it? Yes. One, the human diet is meant to contain meat. It's much easier for our bodies to receive the nutrients it needs with meat. Two, it's part of population control. Yes, I know, you could argue the exact same for humans, but it's not like a sane person's gonna start eating humans. Three, it's just the food chain. Humans are on top of it. The process of killing an animal for food seems horrible and cruel, I know, and I doubt I personally could do it unless it was a survival situation, but I don't see it as morally wrong. Do you think that time travel is a possibility? I don't think it's possible, really. And if it ever happened, you can bet we'd fuck shit up. Do you enjoy night or day better? I've actually gotten to where I enjoy day. I strangely have a much higher chance of experiencing anxiety at night, which has kinda turned me away from it. Plus I have more energy and am generally in a better mood over all in the early day. Have you ever been to a protest? No. But the more and more passionate I get about gay rights, I'd absolutely partake in a *peaceful* protest regarding that subject now if one was nearby. Worst decision you ever made? Let a heavily flawed person essentially become God to me. Do you like to hang out with friends one-on-one or in groups? Eh, depends on the mood of those who would be involved, including myself. Bambi or Nemo? Nemo. I've actually never seen Bambi, but I love Nemo. Lil cutie. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Don and Aaron, yeah. Well wait, Juan too, but I barely even consider him an ex. Has your partner ever accused you of cheating, when you actually didn’t? No. If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long? I have a short portion on the left and then the rest is shoulder-length. After seeing myself with a bit of short hair, I'm thinking of getting a purely short haircut eventually. Built my confidence up when Mom said she thought I'd probably look nice with a short hairstyle after seeing my new haircut. It'd be something different. What area of science interests you the most? Genetics. Have you ever been in an inflatable bouncy house? Yeah. Do you think there will be a WWIII? Yes, eventually. I don't think humanity's going anywhere too soon, and there's too many militant people. What are things you’re exceptionally good at? Uh. Going into full-blown panic mode over stupid shit?? That's my specialty. Do you have any good book ideas? I think a ton of the stories within my friend group's RP would make amazing novels, but I highly doubt any of us will ever actually make books about it. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Mixed feelings. I just don't think some people deserve being nice to, but a part of me says you should treat everyone with kindness regardless, all the while not letting people get away with shit. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? Fuck yes it can be. Some people will take one worse than the other, but both are fucking awful. Both can ruin someone's life. Zelda Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I have zero interest in Zelda. Do you own a rosary? I'm sure I have one somewhere. I was raised Roman Catholic, and essentially every Catholic has one. What's the hardest game you've ever played? Fucking Dark Souls. I gave it a good effort, but did nooot get that far. The difficulty honestly drained all the fun out of it. The hardest game I've ever beaten, uhhh... omg. Maybe it was just my age/when I played it, but "The Legend of Spyro: The Eternal Night" was so. Fucking. Hard. It literally took me a year or so playing it on-and-off to beat it. Fantastic game, but my god it was hard. "Parasite Eve" was also pretty damn hard (mostly thanks to the last boss, jc), but I definitely beat it faster. Would you ever try Fear Factor for one million dollars? Why or why not? No, wouldn't see the point in wasting the time. I KNOW I would never get past the second day where you eat some crazy shit. Nope. Couldn't do most things they do due to me being a germaphobe, either. If you have a camera, when do you use flash? I never do because I hate the lighting personally, plus the red eyes are just no. I'd need to learn more about properly using it. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy and Grandpa. What color do you usually paint your nails? I don't paint my nails. Do you look better with red lipstick or black lipstick? I personally think black. It fits me better. How many times have you actually been in love? Once. I'm not to that point in my current relationship, but I most certainly love her. There's a difference. How many pills do you take a day? Five. Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah. Do you want a church wedding? Definitely not, that's way too traditional for my taste. Have you ever met any celebrities? Lol you don't meet celebrities among my interests in NC. One day. Have you ever tried archery? No, but I was interested in it once. Favorite foreign food? Hm. I'm not sure. Were your ancestors royalty? I only know of Queen Victoria. Does your house have air conditioning throughout, or do you have one that sits in your window? Throughout. Would you ever move to Canada? Sure. I mean it wouldn't be my first pick for sure, but there's beautiful landscapes, and it at least seems to have way less drama than here. What about Kansas? Tornado Alley? Fuck that shit. When you go swimming, do you put your hair up or down? I keep it down. What do you think is the coolest piercing on someone else? Ohhh. This really depends on the person. Coolest... probably collarbone dermals. If mine were actually prominent and dermals didn't make me nervous, I'd probably have them. They're beautiful, but seem super painful. And risky. Are you attracted to girls? I've pretty quickly realized I'm more attracted to them than men both physically and emotionally. Growing up what were your favorite cartoon characters? I loved both Pikachu and Ash. Do you know anyone in a wheelchair? I don't believe so. If heaven or hell didn’t exist and wasn’t a reward would you still make an effort in being a good person? Duh. Do you want your kids to go to church, synagogue, temple, mosque? Why? If I had kids, I wouldn't force them to go. I don't even go. Do you think starting a gofundme is begging or helpful? It can be either depending on the reason and person's honest intentions. Could you put your dreams on hold to support your bf/gf pursuing theirs? On hold? Yes. How long should sex last? It depends on the couple and how they're feeling. But once one person wants to stop, you stop. Five year plan? Go! Move out and have a stable job. Those are the main two things. Other things will fall into place. Can you be content if you are physically uncomfortable? I couldn't be. Do you have pictures of your friends, and family in your bedroom? No. How old were you when you went on your first date? That was like 7th grade, don't know age. Me, Aaron, and I think two other friends went to a roller rink. It was enough of a date for middle schoolers lol. Have you ever had surgery, if so for what? Tubes put in ears when I was 2, pilonidal cyst surgery July this year. Have you ever seen a shark, and if so, were you scared? Never in the wild, just in aquariums. They never scared me. Such majestic creatures. Now if I saw one in the ocean, yeah, I'd be scared. Have you ever gone fishing, or is that totally yucky? Fishing with Dad may just hold my all-time favorite childhood memories. One of my most cherished memories is this time Dad, Nicole, and I woke up really early to go out on the boat at the nearby river to fish 'til around noon, when activity slows down. So peaceful and beautiful out there, I'd love to fish there again with him. I remember it so clearly that I can recall I packed those tiny 3 Musketeers chocolates and Nicole brought Snickers, lol. Didn't have breakfast since we left so early. Man... so many good memories related to fishing. Do you enjoy museums, or think they are totally boring? I. LOVE. Museums. Do you think illegally downloading things is wrong? My conscience says yes. You're stealing. Yet I still download music. Oops. Have you and your friend ever liked the same guy/girl? Not that I know of. Do you tell your best friend everything? I tell Sara just about every little thing. Ever taken any lessons for anything? Guitar lessons, yeah. Do you call it pop, soda, or fizzy drink? Soda. Do you like french fries, cheese and gravy mixed together? Uh, that sounds horrid, even without the fact I hate gravy. Do you live in a house, apartment, or what? House. How hot does the temperature get in the summer where you live? Mid-high 90s, low 100s. Sometimes high 80s. When was the last time you had a headache? What about stomachache? Headache, a couple days ago or so. I get them a lot. Stomachache, not since I got sick two or so months back. Where is your second home? Uh. I guess my dad's? Honestly, could you live without your computer? Honestly, after being exposed to one for so long, I couldn't live happily, no. Not unless I just adjusted to not having one after a very, very long time, but I don't even know if that would happen. What is more annoying, people who take forever to reply to texts or when they only say ‘K’? I stg do not reply to me with just "k." Is family the most important thing in your life? If not, what is? My definition of family is different than the traditional. Just like friends, for me, you pick "real" family. Say I'm related to an absolute asshole; by actual definition, they'd be family, but to me, nope. I can put other people above "actual" family, so to answer the question, not necessarily. After taking a shower, do you change in the bathroom or the bedroom? Bathroom. Are you completely over your last relationship? There was nothing to get over. I never got to where I loved him and doubt I ever could. It was just awkward. Last 3 movies you watched? "Monster House," "Corpse Bride," and uhhh... pretty sure "Coraline." Do you get stage fright? Well, when I used to dance, it wasn't that bad since I was with others. Now, I'm not so sure how I'd be. When was the last time you read a whole book, to the last page exactly? February. Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? Pretty sure yes. Do you love your computer? MY laptop, yes. The one I currently have to use, ew. Is there an outdoor movie theater where you live? No. Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? Both. Mom claimed she wasn't, but I think she was. Do your parents vote? Mom does, idk about Dad. What’s your favorite thing to eat during a movie? Popcorn. Do you like cherry Pepsi? I like cherry Coke. Would you rather live without your Facebook or Tumblr? Facebook. What Lisa Frank character is your favorite? Ohhh, the angelic cat. If you inherited a large sum of money what is the first thing you’d buy? A train ticket. What did you do with your baby teeth when they fell out? Mom kept them. What is the last thing you took a photograph of? My snake. <3 Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? It's technically a bookshelf I think, but we store our DVDs there. If you answered yes to the above, are your books ordered in a special way? The DVDs are in alphabetical order. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? If they were guaranteed to not attack their owners/be docile and I could care for it appropriately, sure, I'd keep a smaller raptor. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? It's not consistent. If you could choose only one thing from Walmart, what would it be? Hot fries or Takis, depending on my mood. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? Dye everything.

#survey #quiz #questions

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