#idk posting into the void i guess

[the-gayngel]

different version of supernatural where literally nothing changes except for the fact that cas' handprint on dean was on his ass instead of his shoulder

#is this anything #idk posting into the void i guess #supernatural #spn #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #4x01 #lazarus rising

[ambiguousgrass]

If ghosts have unfinished business then mine will be reading all the fics in my "marked for later" category on AO3

#half of them are cool fics I didn't have time/my brains permission to read and the other half are fics I stopped reading half way through #no clue why #I've done this all my life like most books I've read I've never finished I just loose interest I guess idk #fanfiction #ao3 #grass yells into the void #grass' big posts

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

#I am so burnt out yall #idk how much more I can take #Im trying really hard #and its never enough #and I just.. need a break #idk what to do #Idk what Im doing with this post #I am just griping into the void I guess #personal

[xxbimbobunnyxx]

I’m sorry it’s been a minute since I posted a ST fic guys… just with the way the fandom has been I truly haven’t felt inspired to write for Eddie or Steve lately. It actually makes me very sad, but I think I just need a little break from writing about them… It’s not forever and I’m definitely still going to post ST stuff, and reblog fics. But I understand if you unfollow me because you don’t wanna see stuff for other fandoms, that’s totally fair.

-xoxodolly

#just taking a step back I guess? #idk I feel like my boyfriends just asked me for a break or something #I’m sad lol #I’ve just been feeling a bit lonely here #sorta feel like since I haven’t posted I’ve been forgotten loool #but that’s probably just my BPD #talking into the void

[luminecho]

An acquaintance once stopped me on my way to class.

"Are you happy?" he asked me.

"What, just like, in general?" I said, confused.

"Yeah, just in general."

And it's not exactly the sort of existential question you're expecting to have dropped on you at 11 am on a Wednesday. And it was actually my birthday that day, but he didn't know that and it didn't feel super relevant so I didn't mention it. But the question itself made me stop and think after.

Because it's this question that gets asked of us so often in life. Are you happy with where you are now? Do you think you'll be happy in the future? You were so happy when you were a kid. What changed?

And I think when you start to get into adolescence and adulthood, it becomes expected of you to not be happy. Because that's the sort of society we live in today. It's so damn hard to be happy. And it shouldn't be. But it is. Happiness is like this fleeting thing way off on the horizon that people constantly grasp for, and we all do things in desperation to finally reach it, and maybe it works for some and maybe it doesn't for others.

I don't know if the typical college student is happy or not. But I do know that I don't really consider myself the typical anything, and one thing I pride myself a lot in is that I have a very strong understanding of exactly who I am and where I am in life. I'm at a school that I like taking classes that I enjoy. I have a bunch of friends who I love, and maybe they're all online and far away from me but that's okay. I have a bunch of hobbies that I love doing and a bunch of interests that I share with others and each day they bring me a little bit of enjoyment.

So, in that moment, I didn't even really need to think before replying.

"I am," I said with a smile.

And my acquaintance turned to the friend beside him.

"See?" he said, "I told you!"

I chuckled to myself and walked away.

But I couldn't stop thinking about it. Because like... what were they talking about? The scenario I found myself crafting in my head was one where this friend of his was saying that most people these days aren't happy. And maybe they're right. But that doesn't mean no one is happy. And that doesn't mean you can't find happiness. It's out there. It's out there in the little things. In the smiles of strangers and in the soundless laughter of text conversations, in music and poetry and art and the hot lights of a stage. It's in butterflies landing on flowers just beside you, and taking the time to stop and admire it for several minutes even though you know you're missing your bus because somehow the butterfly is just so much more important.

And I think my favorite part is that not only did I get to prove to a stranger that day that happiness exists, but I also got to prove it to myself, both in the past and in the future.

Because what if I had been asked that question a few years ago? In the middle of a pandemic, stuck at home attending high school in front of a computer, feeling like I'm drowning because I don't have the motivation to do my work and the one hobby I've held onto so dearly, drawing, feels like it's slipping through my grasp and I just can't enjoy it anymore and it's this real grief that's weighing me down. Telling my therapist that I wasn't sure who I was yet because I felt like this walking contradiction who longed for things I was too afraid to act on. Would I have said I was happy, then? I don't know.

And what about in the future? When any number of possibilities could happen. Will I say that I'm happy, or will I be stuck in a rut and not know the answer?

I didn't have a good birthday. Some days I'm stressed more than others. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, sometimes I feel like the world is caving in on me.

But the question wasn't, "Are you happy right now?" It wasn't a "How are you doing today?" or a "How's your morning?"

The question was, "Are you happy?"

"In general?"

"Yeah. In general."

And even if today is hard, tomorrow may be better. And if tomorrow is hard too, then you have countless weeks ahead of you that will look different and brighter than they did before.

I'm happy. I'm not happy every second of every day, because no one is. But that's not what "general" happiness looks like. General happiness is just... being satisfied with where you are now. Being comfortable in the new and unfamiliar experiences you're sitting in. And being comfortable with knowing it's all going to change soon.

Happiness is real. And if you don't have it now, then it's still out there, waiting with open hands.

And I just think that's neat.

#echo shouts to the void #echo writes #idk #creative writing #something you may need to hear #i guess. i've never put my own post in that tag

[uselessnocturnal]

i know i’m like two years too late but i finished listening to the magnus archives last weekend and i’ve just had…. Endings festering in my head and nowhere to put them

#BUT IDK IF PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY DONE ALL OF THESE #but also tumblr is my own personal void so #so i could just leave it here #my irls have heard too much from me already #and none of them listen which means i am essentially #talking to a brick #wall #or a brick works too i guess #some are technically post-MAG200 canon divergent #others are just off the walls what ifs #the magnus archives #tma #jonathon sims #martin blackwood #jmart

[sketchy-tour]

Wonder what I should specifically draw to go about testing my lining brush. I need to make some kind of drawing to finish that's easy before I go tackling my bigger pieces again.

🤔 hmmmm Yall got suggestions?

#just rambling #text post #something on the silly simple side! #preferably (youll never guess) Welcome Home related since that do be my interest atm #oh or maybe the muppets??? but i havent drawn any of them yet so i might get a bit caught up with shapes #hm. guess I COULD just draw Dandy but idk feeling indecisive #so I call upon you all. the void in which I should into that sometimes shouts back!

[that-g3-artist]

WIP sneak peek for next part of fairy boys below the cut

you get no context :)

#you have no idea how hard it was to find a panel without a million spoilers #idk i'm tired and i want to share this part so bad #but alas college has been taking up all my time #so i have it lined and base colored with no time or energy to do shading and lighting #it's also five pages instead of four with a lot of serious complicated panels so it's just taking longer to do #finals week is coming up and i have like 3 big final projects due within a few days of each other #once i get those done i'll be able to finish it pretty quickly #but by then totk will be out and it'll get buried if i post it #so rip me i guess #anyways back to the void i go #g3 does an art #g3 does a talk

[6kate1bishop6]

“Tim?” Bernard asked, and watched his boyfriend flinch in response.

Oh.

---

after the events of td:r #10 bernard confronts tim

 timber week day 7: "i need you to let me protect you for once!" | meta!bernard | meeting the team / friends / family

#timber week 2023 #tim drake #bernard dowd #tim drake/bernard dowd #timber #timber week #andi posts into the void #29/7/2023 #idk fic tag i guess

[bunnyloaves]

hickeygibson euthanasia posting hours

thinking about the hickeygibson euthanasia scene, or more like superimposing my own feelings onto it. not to put my hickeyposter street cred on the line like this but this is what i delusionally think its all about.

the take that its all about the pragmatism is just so meh to me. that hickey really just stabbed billy out of necessity and he's the one worst for wear out of all of them or that this euthanasia scene is just a perversion of the fitzier one. this one is Wrong while the other is Noble (they are just as noble as each other, yall girlies just don't like his form and manner in having done it :pp)

he saw billy suffering and wanted to put him out of that misery before he could fully sink into that debility and pain. and like fair, coming from them two its as much an expression of love as he can provide (we can now be sad about the sparseness of love, it was there but these conditions have whetted it into a weapon, ok) but the take that it was about love doesn't have enough grit to me either, like yeah thats them but i don't think thats how they operate.

idk TO ME that whole exchange is like. if hickey could reasonably believe that billy wasn't as worse for wear as he was. like if there was some measure of life (not just lumbering around camp) then i don't think he'd have stabbed him. they were gonna make it out together, not traipsing away to some tropical island, no. but they were gonna be together even with hickey's delusions of grandeur. like to some extent, billy IS hickey's creature, or wife, (or whatever u guys want) there is some measure of culpability there, a sense of responsibility for the deterioration they've reached

so there's this aspect of being culpable and guilt, whether he is forgiven by the other or not. its about whether he still looks at you with affection or is it vacant and long-suffering. the pivotal point is, if its a look of long-suffering then, yeah he'll shank the wifey. but if its a look with recognition, then no, he won't be shanked since having recognition means that billy's still attached to hickey. and i don't see hickey as the type to hand off recuperating/caring for billy to another person. like its definitely not bc he wants to do it himself, but i think it'd be sickening for him to have a person he liked turn to another figure for such comforts, like seeking that elsewhere IS a kind of betrayal to him. that's what the stabbing is TO ME, some kind of fucked up apology for letting billy wear himself out that much. since hickey's the one who put billy in this state, he's the only person allowed to absolve/extricate him from that pain.

yeah i hear you, billy is in a state of disarray, feed him more broth or something. isn't that the obvious loving response to your partner deteriorating?

i think a lot of it hinges on whether or not hickey perceives that billy accepted his proffered comfort, like yes the logical thing is to be tender (and he IS, like that bit was so tender) but what if he looks at you with emptiness, like what if the wifey is too far gone in his debility, what then. what if the tenderness/benefaction hickey is proffering is turned away. so your partner has just shown you that they aren't dying for the comfort ur offering and isn't that a damn betrayal (and by betrayal i mean like hickey makes the biggest slights out of nothing, be forreal) that betrayal is a catalyst for the shanking, more than love or practicality, its about the fear that they don't really need u at all, not when they're this far gone and deteriorated. and any future attempts at recuperation would similarly be too far gone to be fully appreciated. that betrayal riles him up enough to do this. like if billy smiled or any bit of recognition, i just know he wouldn't have been shanking him but since he's looking so sad n dejected that means he's not absolved (this isn't something that'll just come to pass, so he's compelled to shank)

like i don't mean this in that hickey is inherently manipulative, honestly i mean this in a pathetic "i kinda cant let u seek this from anyone else, bc it would render me impotent, and being confronted by my own impotency is driving me crazy". like oh it definitely was still about love and all that putting him out of his misery, but its a secret third flavor of attachment TO ME.

#the terror #terrorposting #hickeygibson #euthanasia scene posting #is this actually grounded or am i just superimposing my own illnesses onto my blorbos hmm #i mean it makes sense to my brain like yeah u love them but also i need to euthanize you despite it all #idk if these leaps of logic make sense but ig through a lens of undisclosed personality disorder hickey this would make more sense? i guess #or like in my brain the leap from 'i love u' and 'i will still shank u' just makes sense #i think its the whole bit that your offered comforts cannot be a balm to them anymore bc its beyond fixing #and if u hinge it on that. its not outlandish at all imho #squeaks into the void

[rolangf]

that fish voice from spongebob i’m outta here

#idk what’s happening to me but i am so disillusioned with being a person #being here #being alive #etc #i’m like. fine #it’s fine tho fr i’m normal i just #don’t feel like anything matters to me or to anyone #so uh #slay #i guess this is my hiatus post if you get this far— #my queue isn’t terribly deep but it’s cycling through #so ill be fake around #anyways #lbr. i’ll probably be back #idk #whatever #thoughts from the void #discord is bestiehev or lalo salamanca apologist #3965

[chibishortdeath]

Everyday I look up Simon Belmont on the same like three social medias and find no new fanart or discussion posts of him, so I guess I gotta do everything myself then huh—

#castlevania #simon belmont #not art post #shout into the void #bro it sucks being super attached to a character like this #he’s so cool!!! #the guy!!! #but like I guess he’s nobody’s favorite #there’s like one good bit of content about him every three months #maybe less sometimes tbh #don’t even get me started on being a Christopher fan tho #poor Christopher Belmont :( #idk I’m just complaining for no reason ig

[chiritori]

today marks 1 year clean from s/h for me btw 😸

#i wish i could tell my friends or post about it somewhere other than tumblr dot com but i don’t wanna overshare #so i will celebrate into the void i guess LOL #maybe i’ll get myself a tasty treat to celebrate in the morning #(i say as if i don’t get a tasty treat literally every day of my life) #idk if this should be tagged with a tw or something but it’s my blog so whatever #i’ll just tag #tw #self harm // #sh // #to be safe ig

[meova101]

Very curious about gridslut au!

Gridslut!au is a joke that got out of hand so bad slkjdsglj

So we all know how Seb has the tendency to flirt with everyone, right? And how Charles looks so good when he's suffering? What better way to combine those two facts than in a plot where Seb fucks everyone except for Charles. Stop laughing this has taken up months of my life and tens of thousands of words so far

You see, one of the things about Sebchal for me is that Charles is the first one Seb really wants to settle down with, and it scares him. Him trying to deal with that while Charles is just trying to be happy with what he does get from Seb is a recurring theme in so many of my fics because it's a particularly pervasive headcanon and this is just another excuse to indulge in my own insanity while I also practice writing some other ships in case I need it.

But that's not all. No, no, not at all.

Because it became very clear to me even as I was outlining this monstrosity, that it would have to start at the beginning. This story would have to grow with them to really round it out. It would have to be a showcase of their history, how they've grown right in front of my salad, exactly pinpoint how and why they drive me crazy even after all these fucking years and at this point, it's pretty much my love letter to the ship.

What I'm saying is that this will either be my magnum opus or I will have to quit writing after pouring my heart and rat soul into this for the last seven months slkjdsglkj

Does this sound pretentious? Yes. Does it sound insane? Probably. What does Seb fucking everyone have to do with anything? Look we do not question the plot bunnies, we just watch him bat his eyelashes prettily while Charles sulks because Seb doesn't see him since he's too deep in a conversation. (real crumb, btw, it was hilarious, especially how Charles just lit the fuck up when Seb did finally notice him)

Anyway since I really want to get this out, I've set myself the deadline of putting the first chapter online on 16/05. Pray for me that I actually make it. Little snippet under the cut because after all these ramblings, I might as well show a little of it. Sorry for the monologue anon, this fic has taken over my life at this point xD

Charles isn’t exactly paying attention, but now that he knows, it’s clear to see. He didn’t even want to believe it at first, but now that Pierre has shared the stories… It’s hard to not notice, anymore.

When he watches Sebastian on the podium in Monaco, celebrating a deserved win, Charles is only a little star-struck. But he notices Ricciardo looking at him, the too-familiar touches. It feels almost like foreplay.

Charles can’t help but imagine himself in that position, in a few years hopefully. Would he get to be desired like that? Could he maybe want to have something like that?

He very carefully doesn’t think about Sebastian specifically. He’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

He just wishes Pierre hadn’t told him about Sebastian being a slut, as it had been so eloquently put. One day, he hoped to be teammates with the guy. This was not helping.

Still, he watches the ceremony. Daydreams a little about maybe being in Räikkönen’s place, or even in Sebastian’s place, the German next to him.

One day, he’d get there.

#god I almost forgot the ask game was still a thing slsglkj #anyway i'm not joking around about this fic it's legit over 50k words now and I pray it does not reach 60k #idk if any of this makes sense just ignore my rambling i guess i got flustered while trying to hit publish on this post #still thank you anon for sending in the ask hope you do not regret it lol #ask game #meo shouting into the void #sebchal

[kideternity]

I wanna say since like maybe 2022 Ive found it increasingly harder to read like comics and in 2024 I would like to try and read comics more frequently again but I think it will follow the path instead Ive already been going on which is reading indie comics webcomics and manga and other forms (Ive been pondering getting into European comics too especially Eastern European comics) of non Big Two American Cape comics like Marvel or DC. I think Ive finally reached a proper like burn out stage for MarvelDC content but I still love comics. I will always love comics and that includes Superheroes. I just need to first read comics that will remind me why exactly I love it you know

Anyways if anyone has any good recommendations, hmu ✌️

#dinu yells into the void #dinu yells in the void #I hate posting on tumblr but it felt weird writing this out anywhere else #like im still gonna read the weekly updates for the runs im reading #and ill probably check out still some older comic stuff from dcmarvel #but I really do need to like branch out my comic palette. I cant keep going on like this #i think spiderman old spiderman is thr only comics stuff ive been consistently reading and been invested in but ive run out of steam #theres also the caveat I started playing video games a lot more again #and I also am trying to read more traditional novels again like phantom of the opera swear to god ill finish it #and idk a bunch of other stuff this post isnt very coherent #i guess this is just a heads up for ppl who followed me for marveldc stuff that im probably not gonna get back to that stuff soon #live weirder and living freakier and whatever the hell #okay peaceeeee i have to do college work and then get back to my new bestie digimon

[alwritey-aphrodite]

So excited that having almost 1000 followers means I get notes on my fics…

#like what the actual fuck #I feel like having over 900 followers means I should get at least 100 notes per fic on the low end… and here I am fucking begging for 20 #I spend hours and hours writing and editing and making moodboards like I have other responsibilities I’m a full time student but I love #writing and I love sharing my writing but it’s so fucking draining like I’m screaming into the void every time I post #I should need to beg for notes or interaction why is it so hard for people like… I’d rather you not follow me if you’re never going to #interact and I don’t write for the notes but I do post for notes… would an author publish a book just for no one to buy it??? like even #a reblog without a comment would be nice or just like a heart or a this was great would be so fucking wonderful but I guess that’s too much #ask for #anyway… idk how to feel rn