#idk what the point of this post is

[vladdyissues]

So

Jack does cross stitch

Vlad knits (pictured: his bookshelf)

And Maddie's into bushcraft

I just think that's neat

#danny phantom #vlad masters #jack fenton #maddie fenton #hjbedit #meta #idk what the point of this post is #maybe just celebrating that they all have hobbies outside of ghosts #hobbies that buck gender norms too #the crafty trio #i want a tv series set in the 80s about these three #nicktoons #nickelodeon

[cryptv0id]

diabetes is so lonely.

i grew up being the only diabetic person my age i knew. heck, the only diabetic person anyone else my age knew either. it was always the "oh my grandma has diabetes !" or "oh my uncle has diabetes but he ate way too many sweets so thats why hes diabetic now."

as a young child, my mom put me into all these advertisement and awareness raising situations that i didnt want to do. i became a poster child for JDRF at age 9, and it was the strangest feeling having all these grown adults crying crocodile tears at the "tragedy" that my life was to them. i felt singled out, and every eye in the room was on me.

at age 11, i did a speech about my diabetes in front of the whole school, again against my will. my parents had saved every single one of those little orange needle caps from when i was diagnosed at 2, until i went on my pump at 11. these tiny orange pieces of plastic where what caused my entire school to fall silent and stare at me as i pulled 16 enormous ziploc bags of them out of a backpack that was the same size as i was. i felt odd, almost ostracized in that moment.

i stopped telling people i was diabetic for a while, unless i was in dire need of help. i stopped answering questions when i was asked. i hid a huge part of myself and my life away, because for so long i was forced to talk about it. i didnt have the words at 9, or at 11 to express the fact that i was uncomfortable with this. my story about diabetes was in newspaper articles, a small documentary, a letter sent out to essentially the whole country when JDRF wanted donations, and probably more things i dont remember, because i blocked a lot of it out.

im now 25, and now, whenever i see someone with a sensor or a pump i make a point of telling them i like their device, and then showing them mine. whether theyre young or old, every single person ive started a conversation with has been thrilled, and all have reacted like "oh my god another one !!" because this disease doesnt HAVE to be isolating and lonely. and now, i get to choose to talk about it instead of having my life and my disease being used as a pity card for adults. i get to share lived experience with people like me, and bond with strangers in a world that already is isolating without having a condition where your life is in your hands every day.

#idk what the point of this post is #i started with a goal and then it ended up being a diabetes trauma dump #grey speaks #actually diabetic #t1d #type one diabetic

[booksandwillowtrees]

Cassandra needs to pretend that she’s something she’s not to survive right now. She’s in too vulnerable of a position to value authenticity. Maybe if she had a support system (COUGH COUGH Kristen COUGH COUGH) to fall back on she would have that freedom.

Kristen Applebees season one would have to live as something she is not to survive in the Applebees residence. She’s able to be authentic and true to herself because when things go to shit she has friends to fall back on and support her.

#idk what the point of this post is #theyre paralleling again #yet again it’s wild that kristen has to protect and work with another version of herself basically #love her so much but GIRRLLLLLLIE #pls #fhjy #fantasy high #dimension 20 #kristen applebees

[loadednachosao3]

Hector Salamanca be like "love loses <3"

#bcs #idk what the point of this post is

[autisticasgore]

i just woke up and i’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately - about being transmasc, the idea of physically transitioning and being able to pass as a man while still being nonbinary, and i can’t stop thinking about how long it took me to realise this, and why i’ve grown to hate “cis passing” discourse.

growing up around transmedicalism, so much of what i was taught about being trans (since they really were the only resource i could find, at the time) was that if you weren’t fitting into an extremely tight box ticking all of the boxes in order to look like a “real man”, you would be miserable and suicidal 24/7 and if you weren’t constantly suicidal about not being trans you weren’t a Real Trans.

because of this, i was taught incredibly bad misconceptions about dysphoria and what it means to be trans. what i was told is that dysphoria had to be 24/7 misery and suffering, and if you were just the slightest bit of okay with your body on some days, you were faking being trans

so although slightly unrelated, it’s just a little wild to see now people perpetuating this idea that all trans men benefit from the patriarchy - when at most they only socially benefit from it from a “cis passing” perspective, and that’s if they even do pass enough for cis people. if i have to constantly tick boxes for both cis people and transmedicalists, is it really a privilege, to constantly doubt myself as to whether or not i’m passing enough to be tolerated, let alone survive?

growing up, i did not benefit from the patriarchy. i still don’t, currently, especially as i currently don’t pass enough. transphobes still see me as Woman Lite, they still liken me to being a danger to children, they still call me crazy and act like i can’t think for myself.

basically, people don’t benefit from staying in the closet. it’s an isolating, frightening experience. you constantly have to choose who you can trust, who you think won’t spit in your face for being queer or worse, try to physically harm you.

even worse, when you’re trans and you actively start transitioning, it’s a game of playing russian roulette of who will respect you and who won’t, and you can either tolerate the misgendering and try to educate them, or have your life forcibly restarted and isolate yourself from every single person you know just so you can try to live as your gender. i know that almost every single trans person reading this, regardless of their AGAB, will be able to relate to this experience.

#pixie.txt #idk what the point of this post is #basically ive just been thinking a lot about being transmasc and all of my experiences as of rn #i honestly never thought i’d transition irl #since i didnt think i was dysphoric enough #but well #here we are #trans rights #transmasc #anti transmasculinity #misgendering

[melanodis]

dug up my untested psp while looking for something. damn.

#idk what the point of this post is #arc.txt

[lieutenantselnia]

His majesty looks so ominous and intimidating when he sits on his throne (let me curl up in his lap please? <3)

#idk what the point of this post is #I'm feeling cold and he's on my mind #so being held and cuddled by him seem like a nice outlook #the horned king #the black cauldron #villain f/o #f/o thoughts #self ship

[bootyyyshaker-9k]

Of course Gojo Satoru, The Strongest, The Honored One, would be the anime character to end up on Donnie staff. I don’t even know why I was surprised when I first saw it.

what do you think his thoughts are on satosugu? itafushi? do you think he cries to mr loverman like the rest of us? do you think he makes edits?!?

#attack on titan might have been mentioned by name but gojo is the only character that he’s shown to like #which should automatically make him your favorite cause only the bestest character would have a gojo sticker on their weapon #idk what the point of this post is #mutant mayhem #tmnt mutant mayhem #gojo satoru #jjk #tmnt

[down-thedrain]

i fucking LOVE that chess is the new game that kids are playing instead of doing class shit. both because the prospect in general of chess, one of the most refined and complicated board games that's existed for centuries, now stands on the same level as games like slither.io and 2048, but also that chess is such a different game from its contemporaries. like. it requires a certain amount of actual skill and forethought and planning to even be mediocre at the game, let alone good. so seeing so many kids get into it at once, therefore inspiring them to learn and get better and develop those areas is like. really cool??? and genuinely kinda uplifting??????? idk i just think it's neat

#posts in a drainage system #idk what the point of this post is

[partentts]

Something something kousano

Kousano is such an interesting ship to me not just because they're shipped together despite the fact they've never met but also because they could hypothetically work together (thematically). Like, their themes are quite similar.

For example, kouyou's backstory is about how someone tried to pull her out of the darkness and into the light, to help her get out of her situation, and it failed. Yosano's backstory is also similar in that regard in fukuzawa trying to get her away from mori and out of her situation. The only difference here being, it worked, and she is now in a much healthier environment. Additionally, they are also tied to mori in some way, with mori killing the old boss who killed the guy that tried to drag kouyou out of the darkness and mori literally being the cause of yosano's childhood trauma. They'd probably have extremely differing views on mori tbh

So onto how they'd work together:

Well, for one, I don't think kousano would work under the current circumstances in the main manga timeline. They'd be on opposing sides with opposing viewpoints and not take much of a particular interest in each other.

However, in a situation where yosano was (unfortunately) dragged into the port mafia by mori somehow, they would be on the same side and have extremely similar circumstances. They'd probably meet. Where they go from there, I'm not too sure because yosano's personality would be quite different from what we see in canon. Maybe they'd be partners? Probably not in a very soukoku rival-frenemies type way though. Maybe they'd bond under having similar circumstances? Would they be friends? Strangers? I don't think yosano would officially join the port mafia unless she thinks there is no where else she can go (which she might considering how much guilt she holds and her deteriorating mental health at that time), in which case, kouyou and yosano would end up having a similar mindset. In any case, neither would be able to leave both their situation or their relationship (not explicitly in a romantic way) assuming they have one of some sort.

#idk what the point of this post is #maybe to show that they are similar in the way bsd partnerships are? #idk i'm just rambling #bsd #kousano #bsd kouyou #bsd yosano #yosano x kouyou #ollie rambles

[oblivioustoast]

talked to my therapist about my meds (and how they might be suppressing my enthusiasm for things) and he was lol

… sorry, my phone autocorrected to lol and that was too funny to delete

anyway, he was basically like “yeah, it could do that” and mentioned lessening my dose if i was interested

it’s not something i’m gonna do right away (or probably any time soon) because while i would like to see if it helped at all, i also know that there is still way too much financial stress in my life right now to trust i won’t have a horrific breakdown in the process

#toast text posts #like my circumstances when i started my meds are soooo different now #that i probably could cope with some things better than i could 10 yrs ago #but money has been such a stressor that idk if i could get out of a depressive episode unmedicated #idk what the point of this post is #basically i’ve talked with my therapist #but i don’t think i can rly do anything about it until our financial situation is different #weempwomp

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i didn't do like. any work yesterday. so i have to do like all of it today oops but ig that's on me for reading during my prep instead of prepping oops

it's not that bad tbh - it's more of making sure i have the week planned out and figuring out how to use the darn website my co workers made the anticipatory guide on </3

#anyways #idk what the point of this post is #a part of me is proud that i'm getting work done #but another part is stressed bc this is my first time teaching a whole class novel #and it's shakespeare #and if you saw my kids. you'd understand why i'm nervous lol #but making posts like this or texting people exactly what i got done or need to do makes me feel better #bc it makes me feel like i have some control ig??? #idkkkk #the grading period grades are due tomorrow morning and i am SO CLOSE to being done grading everything lol #i have like fifteen more things to grade and that's it #like not fifteen whole assignments but fifteen submissions of one assignment #anyways i'll stop now sorry lol

[veronicathegoddess]

this is the first christmas on two years that i'm not spending with my ex and i'm ngl, it hurts so much. i don't miss him much but idk, today it's hitting so hard. i'm literally on the verge of crying right now cause i miss him and our little traditions together 😔😔

#this is so weird for me #and ive been trying to distract myself #and its not working #i just miss him so much #its times like this that make me realize how much i really loved him #and what we had even though it was a mess sometimes #he was so important to me #he still is #idk what the point of this post is #but yeah #i miss him and im crying in my bathroom and it sucks #rants and ramblings

[charms-of-earth]

my favorite thing lately has been creating characters for the ttrpg demon: the fallen bc i get to find character pictures for both the demon form and the human form, the host that the demon is possessing. it’s like creating two characters at the same time and its a puzzle to put them together and figure out how they mesh, its been really interesting but i think i’ve been doing it so much that i’m feeling a little burnt out? like i have SO MANY ideas for characters and i keep getting inspired for more concepts, but the putting everything on paper and playing the character is actually sapping energy from me bc its the same thing every time p much. 

name, nature and demeanor (basically who they really are and who they pretend to be), house (what kind of demon are they) faction (demon political beliefs) and visage (what their primary power is that kinda dictates what they look like) is at the top of the page. and then it goes into the stuff that all WOD games have like attributes (physical stats, social stats and mental stats), abilities (talents, skills, and knowledges), and backgrounds (like how much money they have, how many friends they have, if they have any influence in the demon or human community, etc) and then you get into their lores, or demon powers and that can be fun to pick out bc there’s stuff like the lore of fundament which lets you control the laws of physics so like stopping the inertia of an attack or walking up walls or on the surface of water. 

some lores that i like are the lore of paths, where you can say like “i want to get over there safely and without being seen” and then a little silvery blue trail of smoke appears and you follow it to your destination and you won’t be seen or hurt in any way. another one is the lore of patterns, which is like looking into the future and making sure you’re in the right place at the right time and shit like that. 

there are demons who can heal people, move the earth like earth benders, teleport, create an army of ghosts to do your bidding, and speak to beasts and plants or control them/possess them. wow, this post got long. i wonder if anyone is still reading. if you read this far comment with the word pistachio and i’ll be able to see how many people actually care about my hyperfixations. 

anyway, what i was saying was i really like picking out a demon picture from pinterest and making and customizing a human picture from artbreeder. they both require a little bit of skill bc you need to know how to find pictures on pinterest to add to boards (not very much skill) and you need to know how to use artbreeder to breed images (more skill than you’d expect) and i’m not saying these things take more skill than actually making the art yourself, but for someone like me who can’t draw, its really helpful and even fun. and bc its been a hyperfixation for me i kinda haven’t been doing much else for a while now and it’s become a bit of a problem. 

i have other hobbies, sure. like taking care of my plants and coloring in adult coloring books and reading. but none of them hold my attention like building characters like this. anyway thanks for reading this pointless rant. i hope you learned something, lol

#stream of conciousness #help girl im hyperfixating #sorry im hyperfixating #hyperfixation #demon the fallen #world of darkness #artbreeder #pinterest #worldbuilding #character concept #my characters #character building #demon oc #ask me about character creation #ask me about demons #ask me about world of darkness settings #wall of text #idk what the point of this post is #sorry to my followers #sorry to my mutuals

[callisteios]

whenever i get into a depressive rut, whenever i can't remember my passions, i forget that there is so much out there that i literally just have to look for.

#i've spent weeks lamenting my existence and then suddenly after five minutes wikipedia surfing for dnd character ideas #i have decided to learn middle english #so i can read this really cool sounding chivalric romance #idk what the point of this post is #a reminder to me (and others) to not wallow and try new things? #idk #in unrelated news i am possibly going to get obnoxiously into chivalric romances #apologies in advance

[pinkydragon01]

CW: Abusive parents, advanced illness, and near child death.

I took a poll recently that harmlessly asked how many treatable- and even preventable- illnesses I've had. Thankfully, not all of them thanks to my biological mother who cared enough to vaccinate me. She was also the one who paid for my medical insurance.

Now, my mom has her own host of negligent problems with me, but I'm here to talk about my biological father and stepmother.

When I was a teenager- don't remember what age because much of that time period is fuzzy- I got sick. Really sick. It was just strep throat, and we all knew it. My dad knew, my stepmom knew, all of my stepbrothers and me too. They quarantined me away and that was it. No doctors visit.

Now, theoretically, strep throat can heal on its own, but mine didn't. I was grossly ill for over a week. Vomiting, poor eating, loss of voice, dizziness, fever, chills, and eventually a full body rash. Which some may know means I had advanced into developing scarlet fever.

My condition deteriorated with zero sign of improvement. Near the 2nd week mark, I was completely bedbound and, from what I can remember, unable to speak and could barely breath.

And this is where I want to stress- I had medical insurance.

My mother paid for it. Not my father or stepmother had not put a single dime into this responsibility, and yet they seemingly were unwilling to find me medical care. When I moved away with my dad into a different state, he never sought a primary care physician for me. Therefore, when I did get sick, he didn't have a fast means for me to see a doctor. Or maybe he did and I'm- to this day- wishfully thinking he had his hands tied and wasn't just... leaving me like this out of neglect.

But it was neglect. I didn't have a family doctor and they made no obvious attempt to help me. Not until they were finally convinced that this was going to kill me.

They eventually gave in and brought me to urgent care. The whole thing is a blur to me, but I do recall the nurse being astounded and the doctor being angry. I remember he lectured my parents about how this was completely preventable and I was far too sick for this to be acceptable. Turns out, I was in the early stages of developing rheumatic fever, which is basically an auto-immune response to untreated strep infections. When rheumatic fever is left untreated, it leads to childhood congestive heart failure and death.

The doctor prescribed me antibiotics and sent me home. The pills were less than $20.

To this day, I think about that cost. I think about how my dad and stepmom never got me a family doctor and never tried to seek care for me until I was quite literally on my death bed. They even had the fucking nerve to complain about how expensive the urgent care visit was. A visit that was completely caused by their own negligence.

They don't pay for my medical insurance, my mom does, and they still wouldn't put forth the small co-pays to give me adequate care.

The pills that saved my life costed $20, and my life was barely worth that to them.

#idk what the point of this post is #venting i suppose #i dont really talk about it #and hell i was still lucky cuz not all kids even have insurance #i sometimes wonder if they only brought me to UC bcuz they were afraid of me dying #and well its hard to explain why your kid died from a treatable disease #anyways #ty for reading #ive got no greater message besides “yea this happened to me and thats fucked up” #strep throat #near child death #tw abuse #tw parental abuse #tw childhood trauma