#if MIMI was in it i'd be really happy too but i don't think i've seen her do any collabs so far

[mintjeru]

dark type 🌙

open for better quality | no reposts

#hatsune miku #vocaloid #project voltage #pokemon #fanart #myart #doodle #the dark type and fighting type designs are my fav!! #coincidentally they're my friend's fav designs too #d.eco*27's song was pretty catchy and i'm looking forward to p.innochiop's!! #if i had to guess who the other collab producers are... maybe giga or k.airiki bear? please at least include giga i know it'll be a banger #i think it's highly unlikely but i'd love it if n.oborup participated too!! their music is so my style #or obviously. h.oneyworks #if MIMI was in it i'd be really happy too but i don't think i've seen her do any collabs so far #i think a.yase or h.alyosy could do smth really cool... man... i wanna see everyone here #pspsps ooh pkmn inc you wanna collab w/ my fav producers so bad #dragging myself outta art block for miss miku!!

[tag-if]

Omg u haven't bothered you in forever. Hiiiii Jester. I hope you are doing splendidaliryyyy (just go with it its a word in my head)

I'm going around bothering my fav authors. Sooo my question if you had to choose a character to romance from your IF who would it be and why?

And I don't want a 1 sentence answer! You write masterful characters with depth. So gimme!!!! 😒♥️

AW YOU'RE SO SWEET <3

also! hello! welcome back :)!!

i've been going through A Time but my lectures start up again soon so the routine will help, i hope you're doing well too!!

as for your question, since you want a longer answer (though some bits may still be vague to avoid spoilers), i'll put it under the cut :)

this is honestly a difficult one, i love all my characters, however i think i can answer this if i split it into two; characters in general, and specifically the romanceable options

of the ROs, i'd have to say T. Bellefleur, I've made it pretty obvious that Tally is one of my favourites, i think, but i'm a sucker for sarcastic characters. having said that if you put me in a poly with A. Caras and Tally i think i would be just as happy. looking at my plans for their routes, the different types of MCs and the ways they can learn to navigate around Caras and Tally and the unique/individual ways they express their emotions really draws me in.

of the characters in general? that was a little tougher, there are so many options to consider. i think, though, i would have to say Mirella (Mimi) Acierno or Hex Seif.

Mimi (she/her) is the MC's personal maid, she's bubbly and strong-willed and will care for the MC deeply regardless of how they treat her because that's just who she is as an individual. i really admire that kind of person, and i think she would be a delight to be around.

Hex (he/they) is one of the townsfolk that MC has the option to interact with on days off (and certain work activities), he's playful and friendly, but there's just something about him that seems...off. they may be a bit of a cliche, to some, but the exploration and things you can learn about him as you develop a friendship with Hex (including his actual name, because it isn't 'Hex') is something that would be so fun to explore.

#tag-if #the advisor's game #twine wip #ro ask #character ask #other; mirella (mimi) #other; hex #a phantom ask #jester has opinions #new tags just dropped omg #this was so fun to answer #also (again) welcome back!! #i do love seeing familiar users #i see the regulars in my likes as well #you are all very appreciated

[livelovesimallways]

"Prayed Up...." Pt. 2

Previous/Next

Read more under the link.

*after giving her a hug* "Congratulations..."

"Thanks, I guess."

*smirks* " I'm ignoring that. So anyway, how far along do you think you are?"

"Umm, after my ultrasound the doctor said I was about eight weeks. That was a some days ago so I'd say almost nine."

"Well, damn! That's pretty far, Dee!" *agitated* "When were you gonna tell me? And to have your first ultrasound too? Did anyone go with you at least?"

"No." *in a low tone* "Mimi was out of town and..."

"...Your sister wasn't an option?? I just don't get why you didn't tell me. I would've been by your side, no questions asked. To find out from friends after you had some issues is insane."

"I know..." *trying not to cry*

"Look, I'm sorry for getting all riled up. Even though you're an adult, you're still my baby. As a parent you'll always want to know what's going on with your child. And as my child, I will always have your back. You don't have to go through this alone. You have a village: Me, Mimi, and Sean." *looks at him* "Right Boo??"

*clears his throat* "Yeah..."

"Speaking of support, does your sugar daddy know he has a baby on the way? With all the gifts he buys you, he can surely step up."

"It's not his..."

"Okay...Well, did you tell the father then?"

"No..." *low toned*

"Shit..." *starts rubbing her back* "Listen, I know this is hard for you, but you have to at least tell him. Every child deserves both parents. Now if he doesn't want to be there, then that's on him. You have us." *rubs her back again* "Okay Dee??"

"Fuck..." *starts crying* "I am so sorry Dana. This isn't how either one of us expected things to turn out. If I didn't foolishly fall in love with him, none of this would've happened. I met him freshman year, fell head over heels that summer, and then was ghosted in the fall. I never thought I would see him again but I did and those feelings came back. I even justified shit. It was not supposed to go this far and now..."

"Listen, first you need to calm down. Shaking and stressing like this ain't good. There's no need to beat yourself up. We've all gone back to an Ex."

"You don't understand..."

"Alright...Then help me. Start with who this guy is and why this situation has you so stressed."

*starts crying again* "...It's Sean."

"Hold up...I think I heard wrong. I know you don't mean...?" *stares at him*

"I do..." *sobbing*

"Wow...Okay." *immediately gets up*

"I know you're not standing there nonchalant like that! Are you for real!? My mothafuckin sister!??" *slightly pushes him* "I met you that fall after y'all little fling. Why the fuck did you involve me!?" *pushes him again* "What kind of twisted shit are y'all on?"

"It wasn't the whole time, I swear. I'm so sorry Dana!" *still sobbing*

"So you're really not gonna say anything!?" *ignoring her*

"There's nothing I can say to help any of this. She was easy access, that's all. I don't know shit about a baby."

"Well now your disgusting ass does." *turns around* "And you! You need to cut that sorry shit the fuck out.! You're not sorry and you ain't a victim of love. You knew you were wrong and didn't care until shit blew up in your face. You're only stressed and scared because you're about to be alone."

"Here!" *throws her ring* "You earned it. I hope for your child's sake things work out." *leaves out*

"Are you fuckin happy now!? You've been dying to get her out of the picture so why all this crying?"

"I just wanted to be with you. Not have all this happen."

"How many times did I have to tell you to cut that delusional shit out? Why the hell did you tell her if you didn't want this to happen? And what the fuck is up with this baby shit?"

"I told her because I'm pregnant, Sean! I've only been with you and the guy I've been seeing. He had a vasectomy so it's obviously yours."

"Fuck! This is crazy." *starts pacing* "I hope you know shit ain't gonna go the way you want. We're not gonna be a family. I'll be there for the kid but that's where it ends. No one can know, Dee. I'll lose everything and that affects more than just me now. I'm gonna call my lawyer and get some things in place. Make a list of all the things your gonna need and I'll have it sent. Once the baby gets here, we'll figure out visitation and support, but until then, you're on your own.

To Be Continued......

#black simblr #black sims #sims 3 story #dana #deanna #sean #mimi #IYLIML #the weekend

[layingeggs]

Simulated lag artifacting

The blender render preview has a lot of artifacting in it that doesn't show up in the final render. But I think it's very pretty and I'd like to be able to use it in my final animations. I've been told that this can be done with shader nodes. But I don't really understand shader nodes. I understand characters and animation, but the math of 3D art is often too much for me.

Nonetheless, someone on another site showed me a potential 'simulated lag artifacting' shader. I mentioned that on here and fellow tumblr user @berozova asked to see it.

Here is a screenshot of the shader nodes. I admit, this sort of thing is beyond me.

As it was explained to me, and as best as I can repeat that explanation, the noise texture connected to vector math add connected to the vector of my image texture node causes the pixel distribution of the noise texture to be randomly moved up and down in a pixel noise pattern.

But, it only moves each pixel up on the x and y axis from the starting point of 0. We want it to go below 0 as well as above, so that the noise is centered, because otherwise it's pushing the texture slightly diagonally.

That multiply and subtract bit changes a range of 0 to 1 into a range of -1 to 1. Think about it:

1 x 2 - 1 = 1

0 x 2 - 1 = -1

0.5 x 2 - 1 = 0

It's a simple bit of math that converts a range of 0 to 1 into a range of -1 to 1.

That Value node is in there because the effect is too intense without multiplying it by a fraction. The UV Map node is there I think because we want this applied to the UV coordinates and not to the texture directly? Because it's the UV coordinates that determine where the texture is applied to the mesh?

I hope I haven't fudged a crucial detail here. But that is as best as I understand it for now.

Here is the result, on my character Mimi. I feel bad for her making her do all these experiments. I think she's just happy for attention and play, but as her parent I do worry of course. Now, as you can see, there is a runny watery effect to the textures, similar to what you can see when previewing your animation in blender. But there are some crucial differences.

If you look up close to her face, you see that it's not just the edge of the eyes that are getting watery and runny. But pixel noise is just spreading around randomly as well. And if you look at the bells on the ends of her clown hat, some white lines have randomly appeared there. I checked my texture image, and there are no white pixels around the bell texture at all. It's all either dark grey or transparency.

The second issue becomes clearer when we directly compare to the intended thing we're trying to simulate.

This is the render preview of my animated Mimi. As you can see, it's not just the textures that are being warped, but also the mesh itself. This completes the watery effect. If you only warp the textures, then you have the runny textures contrasted against the sharp crisp clear mesh.

This is a funny effect, isn't it? To me, it almost looks like an afterimage. But surely that's impossible? I enjoy animating my characters with low framerate and constant interpolation. If an afterimage were produced from that, then you would expect to see some significant distance between the two images, wouldn't you?

Overall, I would like to learn how to control the watery effect, but I'm going to put these experiments down for now. I have other things I want to get done, including other 3D art experiments. (I'm currently trying to figure out shape key animations in godot and also creating multiple distinct shape key animations associated with a single mesh!)

Thank you for your help Mimi!

As I said, I don't think she's bothered by being made watery, with or without unwanted texture bleed. But I am responsible for her and I have to make sure to take care of her.

[shiningwonderland]

Camus (All Star)

Translator: Mimi (twitter: _mimisaurora)

Proofreader: Raz (twitter: agnadance)

Editors: Noemi (twitter: dreaminbeyond), Snail (twitter: herbert_snail)

Chapter Three — Flame of Ice

It's now December, and we are in the final stretch of the unit project's songwriting process.

Everyone is still fighting with each other, but they are definitely making progress towards achieving the same goal of performing live.

I'm doing my best every day to bring out the best in the song too.

Life in Camus-senpai's house, on the surface, is no different than it has been before.

I've grown used to this somewhat bizarre lifestyle together, and can now talk to Camus-senpai fairly well.

To an outsider, our life together with Alexander might even seem harmonious.

However, Camus-senpai is hiding a major secret. Something to do with both Cecil-san and the president….

For Camus-senpai, who typically pretends to be uninterested in everything, this is probably the only thing he is willing to completely devote himself to–

This secret remains tightly sealed, like a frozen lake covered in ice, as the days continue to pass.

Today, after the recording of a radio show, Senpai is scheduled to do an interview for a women's magazine.

As his assistant, I stand nearby and watch as he answers the reporter's questions effortlessly and efficiently.

Reporter: ... Well, I see. Thank you very much for that. And lastly, please share with us some thoughts on your ideal woman.

Camus-senpai tilts his head slightly at the question.

Camus: My... ideal woman? I believe every woman is different and has her own unique charms, so it's difficult to say whether one is better than the other.

However, if I had to choose, I'd say she'd be a very beautiful and noble woman whom I'd like to serve.

Reporter: Mmm. Camus-san's answers are always spot-on.

Camus: Is that so? Really, I am merely sharing my honest opinion.

Reporter: There have been many other people whose answers were quite outlandish! Of course, there were those with simple responses, too. Like, "a family-oriented woman," for example.

Someone who is a good cook and considerate. What do you think of such women, Camus-san?

Senpai is at a loss for words for a second.

Camus: Well… they're not bad, I suppose.

Reporter: Oh? How surprising! I thought you'd say something along the lines of, "Of course, every woman is charming."

Camus: W-well... You're absolutely correct. But if they happen to be too "family-oriented," I, as a butler, would find myself out of a job.

Reporter: Ahaha. I get it now~. Camus-san is a butler idol, right?

The interview continues with a friendly and relaxed atmosphere.

After the interview, he didn't have anything else scheduled–as rare as that is–so we decide to go straight back to the tower.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, Alexander is almost out of food. Can we stop by the store?

Camus: We have no choice. We can't let that one starve, you know.

On the way, we get out of the taxi and head to our usual shop.

Alexander will only eat the food from here.

Haruka Nanami: We're not far from the tower now, but would you like me to call for a taxi again?

Camus: No, sometimes it's better to walk the rest of the way home.

Haruka Nanami: That's true. And the weather is pretty nice. Alright then, let's do that.

It continues to be cold every day, but today is the warmest it has been in a while. I guess I could call it a pleasant spring-like day.

We usually drive around a lot, so it’s refreshing to go out on foot.

We stroll leisurely while looking at the city in winter.

Camus: By the way, how is your work coming along?

Haruka Nanami: Now that the Christmas live is coming up, I don't have many other projects to do, so I can take it easy!

I reply with a smile, and he turns his head to the side looking a little displeased.

Camus: Hmph… I don't see how you can be happy, as a rookie, that you don't have any more jobs to do.

I move one step behind and follow him.

Camus-senpai takes bigger strides than I do, but...

… He still adjusts his walking speed so I don't have to rush to keep up with him.

I've actually noticed recently that he always adjusts his stride when he walks with me.

Although he likes to refer to me as his "servant," at the same time, whenever I'm busy working on my compositions, he's started taking care of things around the tower for me....

The more I learned, the less I understood him.

Haruka Nanami: The sun is shining so brightly–it's such a lovely day, isn't it?

Camus-senpai is as busy as ever and today he didn’t look to be feeling well, so the pleasant weather reassures me.

I hope that by taking it easy like this he'll start to feel a little better.

Then, I shiver as a cold breeze blows over me.

Haruka Nanami: Of course the wind is still cold despite the sun.

Camus: No… It's warm.

Haruka Nanami: Warm?

He looks a bit bothered as I glance up at him in surprise.

Camus: If it were summer or spring I could deal with it, but I can't get used to this country's tepid winters. It makes me uncomfortable.

What is it about today in particular? If it's cold, then it's cold. If it's hot, then it's hot. The climate here obviously has no idea what it wants to be.

The creases between his eyebrows deepen. Right... He's from a very cold country so it makes sense he has trouble with the warmer weather.

Haruka Nanami: Is it possible the reason you looked sick today was because it was too warm for you?

Camus: I am not sick or otherwise unwell. I'm just a little thrown off guard is all.

Hm… There must be somewhere pleasantly chilly.

Haruka Nanami: Chilly? Then….

Select the phrase!

Let's find someplace cold. (+20 Love)

Haruka Nanami: Let's find someplace cold.

A well-ventilated place, a shady spot, or....

Haruka Nanami: That's it! Would you like to go to an ice skating rink?

I remember there is an outdoor skating rink in a nearby park, so I suggest going there.

It'd surely be cooler there than it is here.

Camus: An ice skating rink? I see, now that sounds comfortable. It's a good idea for a fool.

Haruka Nanami: Good, then, let's go.

Camus: Do not respond when being called a fool, you fool. I mean... nevermind.

He takes my suggestion, and together we go to the skating rink.

Since it’s a weekday afternoon, the place is emptier than I'd expect, with only a few parents and children in attendance.

A cold breeze blows across the ice and grazes our cheeks.

Camus: Oh… this is… despite the warmth of the region, they went out of their way to freeze it for entertainment…. Hmm... how interesting.

Oh, Senpai looks a bit happy.

Haruka Nanami: I've never been to this rink before, but it's huge!

Camus: Hmph. It's a sorry sight compared to the lakes of my homeland, Silk Palace. But… I suppose... It's not so bad.

Good. I'm happy he likes it.

As I've learned throughout my time living with him, "It's not bad" is a pretty high compliment for Camus-senpai.

It’s a little cold, but the wind feels nice. I'm certain he'll start to feel better if we stay here like this.

Camus: I see you can rent skates over there. Ah, yes…. Would you like to have a go?

He points toward the rental window.

Haruka Nanami: Eh…? Um… but… you mean with me?

Camus: Who else could it possibly be with? What? I thought you came here to skate.

Haruka Nanami: W-well… You see…

Sure, it's obvious you go to a skating rink to skate, but....

I’m a bit taken aback. I didn't expect such an idea from him.

Camus: It's just a suggestion. If you don't want to do it, then leave. You've got ten seconds to respond. Ten, nine, eight....

Select the phrase!

Y-yes, please! (+20 Love)

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes, please!

I bow my head in a flash.

Camus: Hmm. Good choice. Then I shall do as you ask.

Haruka Nanami: O-okay....

Camus: Hey.

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes?

Camus: You talk big, and now look at you.

Haruka Nanami: I-I….

The truth is I'm not a very good skater at all.

It's been a few years since I last skated, and I just can't seem to keep myself upright.

I can probably hold myself up if there were a railing I could hold onto… but it's not possible with this kind of rink.

Camus: Seriously. You're a mess… and quite clumsy indeed.

He sighs dismissively and skates past me, nonchalantly executing a triple axel.

This is the kind of skating you'd expect from a northern-born foreigner. It's as if he were flying in the sky, so effortless and graceful.

In comparison, I'm....

Child A: Hey, hey, Miss. Whatcha doing?

Child B: Oh? Maybe she can't skate?

I’m startled by the sudden voices, and when I look up, I find myself surrounded by children.

Haruka Nanami: Y-yeah. Kind of….

Child C: Eh–? Why come if you can't skate? Tell us, tell us.

Child A: I mean, the rink is a place to skate. It's annoying if you just sit there.

Haruka Nanami: I-I'm sorry… But….

Child B: Annoying, annoying! Now you're in the way. Hey, let's get her out of here!

Child C: Out, out! Yeah!!

Haruka Nanami: E-eh?!

The children begin to push and pull me back and forth.

Haruka Nanami: Wait just a second, stop-

Child A: Yeah, yeah. Move, move!

I try to resist, but am instead helpless as my feet slide around.

Haruka Nanami: Hold onーAh…!

Child B: It's a no-no~ Someone who can't skate can't be in the rink~

Camus: … What are you doing, you little worms?

A booming voice echoes around me, causing the boys surrounding me to jolt and tense up.

Before I know it, Camus-senpai is standing behind the group of children, his brows furrowed menacingly.

He glares at the kids with a scowl on his face.

Children: AHH! IT'S THE DEVIL!

Instantly, they scatter away like a bunch of baby spiders, screaming.

Camus: ... Who are they calling a devil?

He looks away from the children and back at me with a dismayed expression, as if trying to say something.

Camus: You were out of my sight for only a minute, and here I find you at the mercy of mere children. You're a real handful.

Haruka Nanami: T-thank you….

Camus: So? How long do you intend to keep squatting like that?

Haruka Nanami: S-sorry. I'll start skating now. H-here I go!

He’s right. I can’t stay like this forever.

I’m determined to stand, but....

Haruka Nanami: Ah!

My feet suddenly slide and I fall bottom-first onto the ice.

Haruka Nanami: I-I'm sorry.

Camus: Good grief… I can't bear to keep watching. Come on, give me your hand.

Haruka Nanami: E-eh… I-I....

I’m a little lost, but Camus-senpai grabs my hand firmly.

Camus: I'm telling you I'm going to be teaching you. It would be an embarrassment for me if my companion were to make such an unsightly spectacle of themselves.

Haruka Nanami: B-but....

Camus-senpai wants me to skate?

I become more and more confused by his surprising words and our securely clasped hands.

Camus: Just get up.

He grips my hand more firmly.

I stagger to my feet as he pulls me up.

Camus: Don't focus on your feet. Look forward.

Haruka Nanami: Um… but… I-I'm afraid… I'm going to fall….

Camus: Oh? I'm the one who is going out of my way for this, and you don't trust me?

Select the phrase!

N-no, no. That's not true. (+15 Love)

Haruka Nanami: N-No, no. That's not true.

Camus: Then don't be afraid. A nobleman from Silk Palace, a country of ice, is going to teach you in person. You should be honored.

Haruka Nanami: O-okay….

Camus: Lift your head. This is me you're with. There isn't even a remote chance you will fail.

I timidly look up at him and he begins to skate slowly, pulling on both of my hands.

We carefully make our way near the center of the rink this way.

Haruka Nanami: …H-hn….

No matter how much I tell myself it's going to be okay, I can't help but feel unsteady on my feet and glance downward.

Camus: You're faltering. Get it together.

He puts his finger on my forehead and pushes against it. My face automatically turns upward and my posture straightens.

Camus: Stand tall. Tuck your chin in. Don't look down. Just look at me. There….That's better.

Haruka Nanami: G-got it.

Camus: Now… let's go.

He abruptly turns to face the front, letting go of one of our clasped hands.

His long hair sways, reflecting in the sunlight, and his skates glide securely on the ice.

We begin to skate at a much faster pace than ever before.

Haruka Nanami: Ah....

The speed increases rapidly as I’m pulled by the hand holding us together.

It’s hard to believe that my feet were wobbly just a few minutes ago, but now they're completely straight and the sound of the edges sliding against the ice is soothing.

Haruka Nanami: Ah...!

The cold air brushes against my cheeks, and it feels so much better than when I was watching from the sidelines.

Camus: What do you think? Doing this is a lot more fun than squatting.

Each time I’m about to lose my balance, he gently squeezes my hand and immediately corrects my direction.

I’m gradually growing more and more comfortable with this sense of security, and at last I gather the courage to look up.

The glistening rink is beautiful. We’re passing swiftly through the people who are skating as well.

It’s as if I have become the breeze, and I can't help but smile.

Camus: Hm. You seem to have become a lot more composed.

He glances back at me.

Oh... his eyebrows aren't furrowed?

He turns to look forward so quickly, I wasn't sure if those usual creases were really gone from his profile, but....

He appears to be enjoying himself a little as he skates holding my hand.

Looking at Camus-senpai's profile, skating just a bit ahead of me, I can clearly see the depth and beauty of his features.

I’m reminded of the fact that he is an idol who can charm many people with a single smile.

Camus: Now, let go of my hand.

Haruka Nanami: Eh....

Camus: What's the surprise? Do you intend for me to continue pulling you along like a child?

Haruka Nanami: N-no, that's not it, I'm just… I'm not ready....

Camus: That's a shame. I'm unaware of that being the circumstance. Go on, now.

Haruka Nanami: Ah. A-aah….

He quickly lets go of my hand and I panic, but we had been going so fast I didn't immediately fall over.

Flustered, I still managed to keep skating, and Camus-senpai comes up beside me with a composed expression on his face.

Camus: You're pretty good at it. How boring.

Haruka Nanami: I-I... A-ah….

Whenever I’m about to lose my balance, Senpai subtly lends a hand to help me out.

Haruka Nanami: U-um, thank you.

Camus: If you have time to thank me, then look ahead. You're going to run into them.

Haruka Nanami: Huh? A-ah!

I’m about to crash into a person skating nearby, but Senpai quickly and firmly tugs on my hand.

I vigorously turn and begin to spin around.

Camus: Oh. I had no idea you could spin. Not such a big deal, is it?

Haruka Nanami: Ha… N-no, I don't know what to say....

From then on, he skates beside me from a reasonable distance, helping me every time it seemed like I would trip up.

As I practice, though I wouldn't say I’m good, I manage to skate without wavering.

Camus: Hmph. You should be fine if you can skate this well. Not bad for someone like you.

After going around the rink together a few more times, when I eventually grow tired, Camus-senpai notices and slows down right away.

He makes a nice skidding sound on the ice and I stumble to a halt.

Haruka Nanami: Thank you so much! It was very, very nice… A-ah!

I bow my head, forgetting I was on ice, and I lose my balance–collapsing down again in a heap.

Haruka Nanami: O-ow… Sorry, I lost focus….

Camus: Hahaha. You really are so dense.

I look up, startled by the sound coming from above my head, and see Camus-senpai laughing.

I really thought he was going to be mad at me....

Camus: Well, everyone is terrible at first… I wasn't very good at it either when I was a child.

Senpai pulls on my hand again to help me stand, then turns his gaze to a corner of the rink with narrowed eyes.

There, a sister and her younger brother are practicing skating together.

She’s pulling her brother along. It’s a very charming sight.

Senpai looks at the two of them for a while, not saying anything. His profile looks somewhat nostalgic, and then....

Camus-senpai looks lonely...?

Camus: I was once taught to skate like that by Her Majesty the Queen on a pond in the palace courtyard. That was... a long time ago.

Haruka Nanami: The queen…?

"Her Majesty" is often mentioned in his stories.

Senpai's family has served the queen for generations in the Silk Palace, and he seems to respect her very much too.

The queen is said to be revered like a god in the northern country of permafrost. What kind of person is she?

Haruka Nanami: Is the queen a good skater?

Camus: Absolutely. There's nothing Her Majesty cannot do. I have learned a lot from her, as well. Skating, and even the cello....

Cello....

I remember the night when we, only once, had played music together.

Select the phrase!

I'll ask more questions about the Queen. (30 Love)

The wistful, beautiful sound I heard that night is still very present in my ears. I will never forget it. His queen... taught him how to play the cello.

Haruka Nanami: The queen is a woman of many talents… Are there many other things she can do?

Camus: Yes. She is particularly fluent in languages and can speak the most common ones as well as a native.

Not to mention that she's an excellent monarch. It is only through Her Majesty's help that our country's peace is maintained.

He seems to be a little proud as he answers. He must have a real admiration for the queen.

Camus: And that's not all. She's also involved in the traditional arts, including dance. There is no one in our country who can dance better than Her Majesty.

Haruka Nanami: But I think Senpai is a very good dancer too.

Camus: What are you talking about? I wouldn't even begin to measure up to Her Majesty.

After we became partners, I watched a lot of his music videos and other films, and I found his dancing to be very impressive.

The queen must be truly amazing for him to gush over her like this.

There are a lot of things I can't do, so I admire her for that.

Haruka Nanami: So she can do everything, can she? I'm jealous of her talented athleticism.

I'm sure the queen wouldn't fall on her behind like I did if she were skating.

How nice…. With that in mind, I look out at the rink and Senpai lets out a huff.

Camus: Her Majesty is the most noble being in the world. Comparing her to an ordinary person such as yourself is irresponsible.

That said, Her Majesty is still human. It wouldn't be fair to say that even she... hasn't fallen over once in a while, too.

He glances at my face and looks back at the rink a little nostalgically, as if he had remembered something.

Camus: However… I'm sure Her Majesty would be delighted to be shown around a skating rink as spacious as this one.

I’m a bit surprised to hear that from him.

Haruka Nanami: The queen has never been to a skating rink before?

If she was the queen of the country, you'd think she would be free to do whatever she wanted.

Senpai furrows his brows a little when I ask the question.

Camus: Her Majesty is prevented from leaving the palace due to various circumstances and she cannot even look at the open sky.

Haruka Nanami: Really…?

I wonder if the queen was ill. I feel sorry for asking.

As I reflect on this, he suddenly mutters.

Camus: Her Majesty... has no allies.

Ah…. He looks forlorn again.

Haruka Nanami: But the queen is like a god, the most revered being in the land....

Camus: That's correct. Her Majesty is equal to a god. Thanks to Her Majesty's aid, all industries, including precision machinery, have developed in our country.

Haruka Nanami: Then....

Camus: What I'm saying is, God isn't coming down to Earth.

They want to put Her Majesty on a throne like a doll whilst they try to free the country themselves. That is the kind of people my country is currently inundated with.

If only it were truly about caring for their country, but they merely fight for their own selfish interests over and over again.

Regardless of how irritated he feels, an earl's status was not very high among the ranks of nobility, and on top of that, he is still young.

He has very little say in state affairs. It seems to frustrate him to admit he is unable to help the queen in her time of need.

Camus: The only thing I can do for Her Majesty is in this country....

Haruka Nanami: Senpai....

He cuts off his words with a huff and looks up grimly.

Camus: … I've said far too much nonsense. Forget it.

Haruka Nanami: But....

Camus: I said forget it.

Silence falls, and Camus-senpai turns his back to me, a bit awkwardly.

Camus: ... Let's go. You've fallen down so many times, you should change soon or you'll catch a cold. But apparently, it's said that idiots can't catch colds.

Haruka Nanami: I-I'm coming.

I hurriedly follow him as he starts to leave, and together we leave the skating rink.

I continue to gel a bit unsettled the rest of the day, even as I prepare dinner, clean up, and work on scores.

In just one day, I’ve seen so many sides of Camus-senpai that I had never seen before.

The look on his face as he skated around the rink, like he was having more fun than usual. The smile on his face when he helped me stand up after falling down.

And then, the nostalgic gaze in his eyes when he talked about the queen. That expression… It was so lonely and regretful.

Now, as I lift my head, I see him sitting on the sofa reading a book and occasionally petting Alexander.

I wonder… what he's thinking about right now.

The wrinkles between his brows, which had disappeared during the day, have returned. and I knew this was a sign that he wanted to be left alone.

I keep quiet and focus on my work.

It’s mid-December, and the countdown to the Christmas live show is finally ticking.

The unit song is almost complete, and the quality is only getting better and better.

The guys will be singing together in the studio today to adjust and finalize the vocals.

I know there isn't much I can do at this point, but I still want to make it as wonderful as possible. I put my mind to the task.

During a break, Kurosaki-senpai approaches me as I check over the scores in the corner.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: So? Any luck fixing it?

Haruka Nanami: Yes, I was wondering if I could have five more minutes of your time so that I can get your feedback.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: All right. Oh, and fix this too while you're at it. The notes don't sound right in practice.

Kurosaki-senpai reaches out and taps the edge of the sheet music.

Haruka Nanami: Here?... Uh... oh, yes. I see now. I'll make the necessary adjustments.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Hm, thanks.

I thought Kurosaki-senpai was very harsh and unapproachable at first, but....

As we started working together, little by little, he eventually came to recognize me as someone he could confidently talk to about work.

These days, out of the three senpai other than Camus-senpai, I'm able to talk to Kurosaki-senpai the most.

Haruka Nanami: The middle part is much better, I think. As soon as we get the last portion fixed....

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Relax. You'll only make mistakes if you rush it. There's still time.

Camus-senpai had gone outside to get some fresh air, while Kotobuki-senpai and Mikaze-senpai were buying some drinks. We certainly have time to spare.

Haruka Nanami: Right. Um, this is the part where you and Camus-senpai sing together. Do you mind if I change this part a little too?

I'll only change it a little, but Camus-senpai seems to be having trouble fitting in....

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Huh? Did the bastard really say that?

Haruka Nanami: That's not it… I just can kind of understand Camus-senpai's particularities.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Huh…? I don't get it. Is it "lover's intuition", or somethin' like that?

Haruka Nanami: No, that also isn't… We simply spend a lot of time together, so naturally....

Ranmaru Kurosaki: … Hey, you still live in that mansion with that asshole?

Haruka Nanami: Huh? I do.

I nod and he heaves a sigh.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Ha... I don't get how you can be with a guy like him. What good can he do?

When asked, I’m at a loss for words.

The lie we told the day of the dinner remains ongoing, and Kurosaki-senpai believes Camus-senpai and I are lovers.

Select the phrase!

He does have good qualities! (+15 Love)

Haruka Nanami: He does have good qualities!

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Good qualities, huh? Well, I can't think of any.

Haruka Nanami: Well, for instance, he always looks unconcerned, but in reality he's a very hardworking person....

He's actually very caring despite appearances, like how he treasures Alexander.

He pretends to be indifferent to his junior, Cecil-san, but actually worries about him.

He also taught me many things, like at the skating rink....

Haruka Nanami: There are times when I'm in a bind and too busy at home, taking too much time, and he will help me out without saying a word.

The more we talk, the more positive aspects of Camus-senpai pop into mind.

Haruka Nanami: And then....

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Aaah... I got it. My bad.

Camus: Haruka. Don't speak so comfortably with Kurosaki.

Startled by the sudden voice, I look up and before I know it, Camus-senpai is standing nearby.

Camus: You'll catch some barbaric traits if you talk to this fool... Whatever were you talking about?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: What the…? You'll have to hear 'bout it later, it's dumb. Now c'mon, let's have a go at this one more time.

Just then, Kotobuki-senpai and Mikaze-senpai return and I hurriedly get up from my seat.

After the break, they come together to repeat the song several times.

Their constant discussions help the song grow closer and closer to perfection, and it’s then I begin to really feel how amazing the four of them are.

But… their expressions once they finished singing are not in any way enthusiastic.

Reiji Kotobuki: Hmm… It might be too late to do anything about it now, but something is still missing. I wonder why that is....

Ai Mikaze: I think the instrumentals and lyrics are totally fine. But it's not enough. I wouldn't want to perform a show like this.

Reiji Kotobuki: Uuuugh… What could it beee....

Kotobuki-senpai holds his head in his hands, and an awkward silence falls over the studio.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Cut the crap. You guys know exactly what the reason is.

Kurosaki-senpai speaks to Mikaze-senpai and a distressed Kotobuki-senpai, turning his head towards Camus-senpai.

Camus: Kurosaki… what do you want to say?

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Don't tell me that even the guilty didn't notice. What about you, woman?

Haruka Nanami: R-right. I....

Well... Maybe, no, the cause of the problem wis without a doubt Camus-senpai.

He sings again today without making any mistakes, as usual.

But amidst the collision of three unique individualities, a single voice taking a step back disturbs the harmony of the group.

If Camus-senpai were to be in a supporting role like in Tsukimiya-sensei's commercial....

I'm sure it would have turned out great. He is very skilled at singing along to other people's songs.

But I didn't intend for this song to be like that.

I want the four of them to equally play off of each other's personalities, but that only ruins the balance....

While I’m unsure of what to say, Camus-senpai huffs.

Camus: You believe I am responsible for this? How outrageous. I'm sorry, but my singing should have been perfect.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: On paper. But there's no "passion" in your singing. I can't feel anything in your music.

At Kurosaki-senpai's words, Camus-senpai shrugs his shoulders, as if exasperated.

Camus: I don't follow whatever you're trying to say.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: You seriously don't get it? How many years have you been singing now?

You're pretty hopeless… so-called noble.

The atmosphere is tense.

Camus: Silence. Do not talk about "nobility". You were the one who abandoned your family and your duties.

A man who runs away from aristocracy has no right to speak on the matter, you loser.

Kurosaki-senpai bites his bottom lip and the two of them lock eyes with each other.

Haruka Nanami: U-um....

A painfully strained mood, different from their usual fights, envelops the area.

What should I do? I have a bad feeling that they both have really crossed the line.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Keep going, lap dog. You're the one who's all bark and no bite.

Ain't that right? All the crap that ever comes out of your mouth are brags and lies. Where's your heart?

Kurosaki-senpai approaches Camus-senpai and pounds on his chest with his fist.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Your music's hollow 'cause this has never felt passion.

Camus: My heart doesn't burn with passion... you say? Rubbish. I don't see the need for such a thing.

Camus-senpai grabs onto Kurosaki-senpai's fist on his chest and briskly swings it away.

Camus: Not only is it not necessary, but the heart and mind are only a hindrance. The only necessity is the will to accomplish your goal.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Hah. You make it sound like you can do it, but won't. Are you really unable to be passionate about anything?

All you do is pander to others. Life's good when you don't have to do anythin' by your own damn self, isn't it?

Camus: I've heard enough from this disgraced scion....

Oh no, no, what do I do? I have to stop this somehow....

But knowing I can't just go in there without a plan, I stand there frozen.

And despite the two of them glaring at each other for a while–

Camus-senpai suddenly chuckles as if he had thought of something.

Camus: No passion, huh? … If that's what it looks like to you, then you might want to get your eyes checked.

Fine. Hear for yourself if my heart lacks passion.

His head snaps over to look at me. The anger he had felt earlier is gone from his face.

Camus: Haruka. Play it.

Haruka Nanami: R-right away!

Reiji Kotobuki: Okay! Let's see how serious Myu-chan really is!

Ai Mikaze: Well then, as long as the song's quality can be improved, I'll go along with it.

Kotobuki-senpai rolls up his sleeves, and beside him, Mikaze-senpai quietly rises from his seat.

Then, they sing once more.

Song: “Quartet Night” (S Rank)

When the song is over, Mikaze-senpai lets out a small huff in amazement.

Ai Mikaze: Okay, well... no complaints about that one here.

Camus: Hm. Of course there isn't. Who do you think I am? The song itself wasn't... bad, either.

Ai Mikaze: Huh, I think this is the first time I've heard Camus compliment a song.

Camus: … I had no idea.

The instrumentals are revised to match the change in Camus-senpai's singing.

The other members of the group sing with as much passion as they can muster, and adapt their own vocals to match.

Kotobuki-senpai, Mikaze-senpai, Kurosaki-senpai, and Camus-senpai all seem to be enjoying themselves, though none of them said so out loud....

And just before time ran out, they sing through the song one more time.

Haruka Nanami: Wow....

I watch in amazement as everyone finishes singing.

My impression of the performance now and the performance before are like night and day. Particularly, the way Camus-senpai sings now is completely different from the way he’s been doing it before.

He stopped trying to fit in with the rest and didn't try to hide his own power or his fervor.

His voice captured my heart. He possesses absolute charisma.

The others are no match for Camus-senpai.

The others also never lost their own individuality; instead their vocals were evenly matched, enhancing instead of overshadowing each other.

The whole song is now reborn as something far more wonderful.

Reiji Kotobuki: Ahhh! Amazing! This is the one! We did it, Kouhai-chan!!

Haruka Nanami: Y-yeah....

Reiji Kotobuki: What's going on? You're not looking too happy. Hahaha, now then, have you been too busy admiring us?

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes. Everyone was very wonderful….

I didn't look... happy?

Of course I’m happy. How could I not be happy?

For a composer, there is no greater joy than to write a song you consider to be perfect and have it sung in the most exquisite way possible.

But... I wonder why my hands tremble.

I felt definite passion in Camus-senpai's voice, just as he had described.

I have always thought that he was a pretty stoic guy, but it surprises me to see this side of him.

I wonder what it is that made Camus-senpai react this way.

… Or who it is.

As soon as the thought crosses my mind, pain blooms in my chest and I find myself taken aback.

I wonder who Camus-senpai has been thinking about when he sings.

The unit song is nearing completion, and I am one step closer to my debut.

I should have been elated, but instead I find myself feeling uneasy.

A few days later, the Christmas live has finally arrived.

On the day of the concert, I head backstage to the group's designated waiting area.

Today's show is a gathering of the Shining Agency's most talented members, and they will be opening the show.

The first song will influence the mood of the whole event, so it's a great honor, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility.

I’m also very nervous. My heart has been racing since this morning and it simply wouldn't stop.

Reiji Kotobuki: Ahh. No matter how many years I spend doing this, this very moment always gives me the jitters~

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Heh. You can't call yourself a pro if you work yourself up every time.

Ai Mikaze: So you're nervous…? I'm not sure I understand. Let's just sing like we always do.

Camus: I agree.

Reiji Kotobuki: You're all so cold! Well, Kouhai-chan's reputation is at stake here too. We need to show them how cool we are right here, right now!

Ranmaru Kurosaki: Ah, right, her job's on the line.

All of their eyes turn to look at me at once.

Yes, in order for me to stay in the agency, I must first succeed in this concert.

Ai Mikaze: I don't really care. With or without that being the case, I wasn't going to cut any corners in the first place, so the same principle will apply anyway.

Ranmaru Kurosaki: That's obvious. We'll just sing and it's going to be one hell of a show, so keep your eyes peeled.

Haruka Nanami: I will! P-please do your best! I'll be here cheering you on!

Camus: No, no…. You go to the auditorium. There are reserved seats for those involved with the event.

Eh...?

I’m surprised by his words.

This is an important concert for them. I want to watch as close to the stage as possible....

Haruka Nanami: Am… am I getting in the way by staying here?

Camus: That's not what I meant. Songs are meant to be sung to an… audience. It's not intended to be enjoyed from the wings, don't you agree?

Haruka Nanami: R-right, I suppose so.

Of course, idol songs are not for the staff, but for the fans. I compose with that in mind.

Camus-senpai looks annoyed for some reason when I explain this to him.

Camus: Just go, then. If you don't hurry, you're going to run out of time.

Haruka Nanami: A-alright.

I have no idea why he’s suddenly so insistent, but I hurry to the auditorium anyway.

The venue is filled with enthusiasm even before the concert has even started.

Haruka Nanami: Wow….

The audience's anticipation is palpable from all sides. The group is going to perform in such an environment.

Amidst the loudest cheers, the four of them are revealed under the spotlight.

It’s the perfect opening to the concert.

The crowd goes wild with their singing and dancing, and the atmosphere in the venue grows ecstatic.

Among them, Camus-senpai's voice is especially wonderful, echoing with more power and passion than I have ever felt before during rehearsals.

I can feel a different kind of warmth in his voice.

Perhaps this is because I am listening to him from the audience. I listen to his voice completely, and without the curious heartache I had succumbed to a while ago.

Seeing Camus-senpai's figure in the light... I can now understand the reason why fans cheer in delight.

This person has the potential to shine even brighter. I'm so lucky I got the chance to support him as a composer.

With this thought in mind, I clasp my hands together and gaze up at the radiant stage.

After the concert, I rush to the group's dressing room.

The crowd's enthusiasm remains unabated, and I’m pushed every which way, which ends up taking up a lot of my time, but I hurry as much as I can.

Now I can perfectly understand what Camus-senpai had meant when he told me to watch the performance from the auditorium.

That brilliance, that passion, could only be felt in the audience. I wanted to share this impression with everyone as soon as possible, but most of all, I want to share it with Camus-senpai.

In the dressing room, in addition to the senpai, Tsukimiya-sensei and Cecil-san are there too.

Reiji Kotobuki: Oh, here comes the fifth lead! Kouhai-chan, over here!

Ai Mikaze: It took you long enough. All of your colleagues came by as well, but they've already gone to the after-party.

Haruka Nanami: M-my apologies....

I bow to everyone. And as I’m about to raise my head....

The floor in front of me bursts open.

Haruka Nanami: Eeeeh!?

A huge lump flies out of the hole in the floor and crashes into the ceiling with the same force.

Haruka Nanami: W… what…?

The lump whirls around, lands by my side, and whirls around again to face me.

Shining Saotome: Ha ha ha~! Congratulations, Everyone! That was one of the Best Stages Ever!!

Haruka Nanami: President!

Shining Saotome: Miss Nanami, YOU have made it through the first phase!

Haruka Nanami: T-thank you very much!

I bow my head deeply.

Thank goodness. The president has approved of my work....

Shining Saotome: BUT, our battle is just beginning. The only thing standing between you and your debut now is to win the song festival. YOU, pull yourself together and GOGOGO.

Haruka Nanami: A-absolutely!

I sincerely lower my head once again. I’m really grateful. But....

This show's success is not the only thing I need. The president presented me with a condition: I needed to develop mutual trust with my partner before today's concert.

If we didn't, it would result in a change of partners. Worst case scenario, it could mean my disqualification.

My partner, Camus-senpai....

I’m worried, and when I gingerly look over at him, he turns his head to the side, seemingly displeased.

Camus: Hmph... If I didn't approve of you, I'd have said so already.

Haruka Nanami: Thank you so much! I'll do my best to fulfill all of your expectations!

I declare excitedly, and everybody surrounds me.

One by one, they congratulate me.

Ringo Tsukimiya: Well done, Haru-chan! That was the loveliest unit song I've ever heard!

Haruka Nanami: Tsukimiya-sensei, thank you so much.

Kotobuki-senpai is cheery as usual, while Mikaze-senpai and Kurosaki-senpai brusquely offer me their well-wishes.

And finally, Cecil-san joyfully takes my hand.

Cecil Aijima: My muse! I knew your music would be wonderful! I am deeply moved!

Haruka Nanami: Thank you. That makes me very happy to hear.

Camus: Hmph. Aijima probably intends to add, "I just wish it hadn't been Camus singing it."

Cecil Aijima: Non, great music is great music, no matter who sings it… unfortunately.

Cecil-san tilts his head a little after he says that.

Cecil Aijima: Camus, have you started to learn how to love music a little bit?

Camus: Hah. Listen to what you're saying. How could I possibly come to love music?

Cecil Aijima: I see. But, the way you sang....

Cecil-san tilts his head even further, but quickly regains his smile once again.

Cecil Aijima: It was a good song, even if it was not filled with love. I thought you were unworthy of her, but now I am rethinking it... a little.

Camus-senpai huffs and averts his gaze.

Reiji Kotobuki: Ohー! Myu-chan's feeling shy! Now, everyone, let's go to the after-party!!

Kotobuki-senpai announces loudly, and we make our way to the after-party, still in high spirits from the show.

Later, after the event, Camus-senpai and I return to our familiar home.

Camus: … Oh dear. I truly dislike such boisterous places.

Although he always behaves himself with elegance, today he appears to be exhausted and simply slumps down onto the sofa.

Haruka Nanami: You handled it really well. And also... I want to thank you. I was amazed to hear you sing the unit song so beautifully.

Camus: … It's my job, you know…. Naturally. You have nothing to thank me for.

Haruka Nanami: But it made me so happy. I also want to thank you for recommending that I watch from the audience!

I express the gratitude and admiration that I couldn't properly convey in the dressing room, and he pets Alexander with a rather troubled expression.

Camus: I'm pleased to hear you're satisfied…. But never mind that, is everything prepared for that thing?

Haruka Nanami: "That thing"?

As soon as I tilt my head in confusion, he cleares his throat with a small cough.

Camus: That... would have come up in conversation on the day we had hotpot. Sure, although it was a false pretense to deceive them, my interest in it was genuine, and....

You also know about my sweet tooth, so isn't it naturally your responsibility as a servant to grasp what I mean and make preparations?

The day we had hot-pot…. Sweets....

Haruka Nanami: Ah! You're talking about the chocolate fondue!

Camus: Y… yes.

That was last month. The day when Tsukimiya-sensei and the others came to this tower.

Camus-senpai suggested that if the Christmas live was a success, we should have chocolate fondue to celebrate.

Haruka Nanami: Of course, I have it ready for you! Please wait a moment. I'll be right back.

Camus: Y..you do? I'll leave it to you, then.

When I promptly return to the living room with a full set from the kitchen, I notice how Camus-senpai's eyes light up with a twinkle in them.

Camus: Oh. This is what you call chocolate fondue. Can I eat this... with marshmallows?

He rolls the round marshmallow between his fingers. His big hand and the cute small sweet look somewhat out of place together.

Haruka Nanami: No, not yet. The chocolate still needs to melt, so just give it a minute.

I put the fondue pot over a fire, and soon a sweet aroma fills the room.

Alexander looks around to see what’s going on.

Camus: Oho. Melt the chocolate and... then?

Haruka Nanami: We'll use these skewers. Pierce your favorite ingredients with this and dip it into the pot.

I dip a marshmallow into the chocolate and hold out the skewer.

Haruka Nanami: Here, bon appetit!

Camus: H...hm. Really, this pot sounds like child's play.

Haruka Nanami: You think so? I find that eating it this way tastes better than eating it normally.

Camus: I see....

He accepts the skewer and takes a bite of the chocolate-covered marshmallow.

Camus: Mmm… How to describe the way this marshmallow melts so well escapes me.

Haruka Nanami: Right? We still have more, so please eat lots and enjoy!

Finally, we begin to eat the chocolate fondue.

Camus: It's no secret that strawberries and chocolate pair well together, but its warmth makes it even better. Dipping bread in it is also a great idea.

Haruka Nanami: This might sound strange, but I heard that cream cheese also goes well with it too.

He shows interest, so I quickly grab some cream cheese from the kitchen. I also bring out some more fruit and chocolate.

It’d be a shame to burn the pan with the new chocolate pieces, so I put it on low heat and let it simmer....

Just as I’m about to stir the pan, I catch Camus-senpai popping an orange piece into his mouth.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, don't do that. You can't just snack on them.

Camus: It's fine. Tasty food is tasty no matter how you eat it.

With that, he slips more pieces into his mouth.

At this rate, the oranges will be gone before the chocolate melts.

Haruka Nanami: I'm telling you to stop....

Camus: You are so fussy. Well then, you may as well eat some too.

Haruka Nanami: Eh…? G-guh....

He stuffs an orange piece into my mouth.

Haruka Nanami: Nn… nnn. F-fenbai....

I can't swallow the piece properly and the juice almost spills from my mouth.

Senpai jokes to not spill it and let it go to waste, but the more I struggle, the more my throat fails to work.

What's more, I have no clue what to do with him pressing down on my lips with his finger.

Haruka Nanami: Nn… nnn. Nnn.

When I manage to force down the slice, he laughs with a mischievous expression on his face.

Camus: Heh. Looks like you managed to swallow it just fine. Now… I'd say we're both guilty as charged. I don't want to hear you complaining about it anymore.

Haruka Nanami: Y-you… That wasn't fair, Senpai.…

Another orange is quietly offered to me before I can protest any further, and while I take it without thinking, Senpai eats another piece.

We end up eating all the oranges before the chocolate could even finish melting.

We’re getting full, so we enjoy the fondue at our own leisurely pace.

As we poke at the chocolate pot, we begin chatting about anything interesting that had happened at the agency, the new cake shop that had opened up in the neighborhood, and other silly things.

When it comes time to call it a night, Camus-senpai asks with his gaze fixed on the pot.

Camus: Do… do you want to leave?

Eh…?

For a moment, I have no idea as to what he could be talking about.

Haruka Nanami: You mean leave here? Leave this house?

He clarified that is exactly what he meant. His gaze is still focused on the pot.

Apparently, he’s been watching me for a while.

After getting to know me, he realized that letting me go would do no harm.

But he makes me promise not to tell anyone about what I overheard that day.

He... simply explains that if I can't keep my promise, I risk putting myself in some kind of danger.

Senpai lets out a tiny sigh, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Camus: As for me, I just can't be bothered to live with other people. If you want to leave, then go right ahead.

This is so out of left field that I’m left speechless.

Select the phrase!

I want to stay here. (+0 Love)

Haruka Nanami: I… I want to stay here.

His eyes widen in surprise at my answer.

Camus: Well this is... unexpected. I had assumed you wanted to be rid of this life of servitude.

Haruka Nanami: You see… the work is definitely demanding, but....

But after spending time here and getting to see so many things about you, I grew eager to get to know you better.

Is that… a bad thing?

I want to be near him right now, considering all the solo songwriting that has to be done for the song festival.

He’s silent for a while and then breaks out in a strained smile.

Camus: You truly are a piece of work. I may have come to recognize the kind of person you are, but that does nothing to change my attitude towards you. Are you alright with that?

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes. Although, it would be helpful if you could go a little... easier on me.

Camus: Hm. That's a pity to hear. As if I would ever go easy on you.

He replies with a haughty tone, but his expression appears just a little bit happier.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, I'm happy to hear that. Then, I look forward to continuing working with you.

Camus: Me too. But you know... the method in which you compose music is beyond even me.

He points out that it isn't necessary to know anything about the singers, to just compose music based on popular trends and what I'm most comfortable creating.

Haruka Nanami: Well, you see, I just can't compose that way.…

It is a necessary thing for me to know the singer to be able to write a song.

Camus: Ha. You're quite cheeky for being a rookie.

Haruka Nanami: S-sorry.

Senpai puts it simply and tells me I can observe as much as I like, and starts to get up from his seat.

Haruka Nanami: Wait… that said… the reason behind me staying is not so much for the sake of composing music, but…

… Rather because you seem to be quite lonely and I want to… be by your side.

I haven't forgotten the forlorn expression I noticed the day we skated together.

If only I could touch his heart again, like the night when we quietly played music together....

And even if I can't… I didn't want to leave him alone.

As soon as I say the words, his brow raises with a twitch.

… Oh no. I feel terrible, but it’s too late to take it back now.

Senpai looks up subduedly, and the temperature around us feels like it plummeted.

Camus: Oh. So you dare say I look lonely. You've got quite the nerve….

Haruka Nanami: F-forgive me. I was just….

I bow my head profusely. He remains silent for a while and I can't bring myself to look up.

After some time has passed, I hear a small laugh.

Camus: You have the audacity to say that with such an innocent look on your face. I'll allow your boldness and overlook your disrespect.

Haruka Nanami: T-thank you....

Camus: The solo song. Get on with it and bring it to me as soon as possible.

Haruka Nanami: U-understood....

Senpai laughs again, seeming rather amused, and finally rises to his feet.

Camus: The chocolate fondue is nearly gone. I believe we should call it a night.

Once I finish cleaning up and relax for a bit, Senpai walks down the stairs from his bedroom.

Camus: I have something for you. Hold out your hand.

Haruka Nanami: Eh. Ah. A-alright.

I hold out my hand, and with a jingle, a key is dropped into my palm.

Haruka Nanami: Is this… what I think it is…?

Camus: It's the key to this tower. Use it however you wish. It would be useful to have it with you, as long as you're staying here.

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes! Thank you so much!

Camus: Of course. And while we're at it, you can have this too.

Something else is placed on my still outstretched palm.

A small aurora-colored stone, about the size of the tip of my thumb.

Haruka Nanami: Um… this is…?

Camus: A guardian stone that is passed down in my country. You're a hardworking servant. Consider it a reward. Be grateful to your merciful master.

Haruka Nanami: O-of course! Thank you! But, could this also be… a Christmas present?

Camus: … I said it was a reward. I am unfamiliar with the customs of foreign countries.

In any case, I'm going to sleep. You should go to bed soon too, Haruka.

With that said, he turns himself around and goes back up to his bedroom.

Haruka Nanami: Camus-senpai....

It only struck me after a while that he had called me "Haruka" with no intention of deceiving anyone.

The stone he’s given me is a really captivating color.

Every time I move it, seven shimmering colors dance, as if a real aurora had been trapped inside.

It’s so dainty and beautiful. I kept turning it over and over, never getting tired of looking at it.

(Chapter End)

#camus utapri #utapri #all star camus

[lmskitty]

Hi again......If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Hi!!!

Tricky!

1. Jujutsu Kaisen

2. Gorillaz

3. Sailor Moon

4. Outlast

5. The Last Binding Series by Freya Marske

6. Neon Genesis Evangelion

7. FMA Brotherhood

8. The Magnus Archives

9. Fake (manga series)

10. Digimon

1. It brought me joy and fandom and friendship again and made me feel like myself after a very long time. I know the narrative can be traumatic but it also has these incredible moments that just feel you with awe (like Todo turning up to help Yuji fight or seeing Gojo do hollow purple for the first time) it just reminded me of everything I love about anime.

2. My first real fandom, the first thing I wrote proper fanfiction for. The lore and the music and the animation just amazed me when I saw it when I was 11 and I've not been happy with decisions they've made recently (overpriced merch in a cost of living crisis, NFTs to celebrate Plastic Beach?!?) I'll still always love them and be excited for new content.

3. First anime love, first time seeing a relationship with two women helping me to identify as bi (now I'd say pan) I grew up believing that to be a strong woman you had to disregard femininity and seeing Usagi be the strongest with her bunny drawings and her focus on friendship and love just rewired my brain.

4. I love horror, I was brought up with it but for a very long time nothing has scared me and I found horror media repetitive. Outlast genuinely scared me and I was SO happy and I love reading the character notes and comics.

5. I've talked about this series a bunch but A Marvellous Light was the first book I'd read in years that made me cry and just stayed in my head for ages. Everything I'd loved about harry potter but done properly.

6. I was at a sleepover at a friend's and someone stuck this on and everyone was talking and I was just glued to the screen because what the FUCK WAS THIS?!?!? I've watched it since with my husband and it still hits me so hard every time. It's such a powerful portrayal of depression and nihilism and how relationships can fuck you up. It's beautiful and I think it's one of the best anime's of all time.

7. The opposite of neon Genesis lol. Love and family and forgiveness and what it means to sacrifice for the people you care about. Devoured brotherhood with my husband and we were both in tears by the end of it. I'd also been told I couldn't have kids and we had struggled with a miscarriage and Izumi and Sig just hit me so hard. (I have a bub now tho it came out ok in the end) but the characters still feel so real and there's so many amazing moments.

8. I listened to all of this and played Minecraft with my husband till like 6 am on weekends. We would discuss at length our theories and it just holds a special place in my heart. It's perfect horror and John and Martin's relationship just means a lot to me. I related a LOT to Martin and loved the series and I've super been enjoying the Magnus Protocol too! Also that first fucking recording of Nikola Orsinov?!?!? We both sat still staring at each other genuinely freaked the fuck out and we still quote it at each other! "I mean, you can if you really want to, but you’re not going to like it." CHILLS EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!

9. I read a lot of BL manga with my friends (*old lady voice* back in my day we called it Yaoi!!!) And so many of them had terrible tropes and big hands. This was the first one I ever read that I still adore that had an amazing love story and plot. It was revolutionary to see an LGBTQ story not just about them being gay or coming out but it had real detective cases and murders etc and I still wish we could get a tv show of it.

10. When Gojo talked about Digimon I fell even further in love. It's the fucking best. I wanted to be Mimi so BAD as a kid my mum made me a Halloween costume of her and I thought I was so cool. My next tattoo is gonna be Lilymon. I grew up with it in the dub and it established my sense of humour for better or worse. The Digimon film is still my comfort film of choice. Matt was such a big crush I had when I was little and I wrote little stories about being one of the digidestined.

Those are my top 10!!!!

#gorillaz #jujutsu kaisen #the magnus archives #tma podcast #fake the manga #fake! #digimon #outlast #fma brotherhood #neon genesis evangelion #sailor moon

[nitannichionne]

Ransom's Redemption (Chris Evans Fanfiction), Chapter 25: So Close

The weather service is already casting warnings.

I didn't even bother with the airport. It sounded dismal. I bought the last first class ticket on the New York-Boston Express and it was the last train of the day going out. The weirdest thing happened; I saw Marta. I am pretty sure it was her, and I turned away before she could look and see me. To me, that was an omen to get the hell out of Dodge. I decide to call Mimi from the first class lounge, and got voice mail. Something is wrong. I haven't talked to her all day, and honestly, I am beginning to worry.

I call Amaira instead.

"Hello?" I hear her voice, and it sounds hushed.

"Maira?" I say softly. "It's Ransom. I've been trying to get through to--"

"She's sleeping."

"Oh." A part of me is relieved, but another part of me is worried. "Is everything okay?"

"She had quite a day yesterday."

"Oh?"

"Your mother was here."

I close my eyes, trying to calm down. "Really?"

"Yeah," Maira says slowly. "she came to the tea house. I personally served them tea, and that woman..." 

"I'm sorry."

She sighs. "Anyway, I think your mom said some not-so-nice things to her."

I exhale heavily. I can imagine. "I'll take care of it."

"How--"

"Anything else?"

"Nothing worth mentioning."

"So, her ex-fiancee isn't worth mentioning?" A short pin-drop silence begins. "A friend of mine in New York was more than happy to share the picture of them at the Tea Time."

"He left this morning."

"What?!"

"He needed help, came to her--"

"Of course."

"She put him and his dog in the basement on the couch, and Sy gave him some extra clothes. They talked awhile, both of them being veterans." She pauses, and I say nothing. "He came a couple of days ago. He worked in Tea Time for a couple of days, we paid him cash, she doubled it, and bought him a ticket back home. Sy gave him clothes and bought a crate for the dog."

"Uh--huh."

"Uh-huh what?"

I exhale. "Nothing. When she wakes up, just...tell her I'm coming home, and I love her."

"You're coming home?"

"Yeah, I'm about to get on the train."

"I'll tell her," Maira assures, but then says, "be careful out there, alright? I hear this storm is going to be bad."

"Thanks, I'll be careful, and thank you for looking after her."

"She's my friend, Ransom. I guess we'll become friends too at some point."

"I'd really like that, Maira." I hear the train announcement. "Gotta go."

I catch the train. Express? No, the snow started, and though the train did reach 150mph, it was only a minute or two instance and far and few between. I begin to panic. The snow is catching up, and things don't look so good.

Realizing that I have time to do what I can, I call my mother first. 

"Ransom--"

"What the fuck did you say to my wife?"

"She invited me to your little tea place, I came."

"And?"

"If you want to see me, you could have called, not sent a messenger."

"I didn't send anyone, I'm out of town." I let that sink in for a few seconds. "I guess with the baby coming--"

"Oh, my God," she gasps. "You mean you did get her pregnant?"

"Jesus, Mother, that is what married people do!"

"I thought she was lying, I thought--Is it about the money?" she asks. "We are still fighting in court, you know--"

"I'm not part of that--"

She gave a little snort, and I knew she'd taken her mom hat off. "I guess since you have that little clause--"

"We have our own money, Mother, and we are not going to court," I bite out. "you don't ever have to see any of our kids, either!"

"Any of your--how many are there?"

"Just this one on the way so far," I growl. "I don't think this will be the last."

"Hugh Ransom--"

"I love my wife, Mom, I love her. I think I always have." I take a deep breath. "And if you can't treat my wife with respect, don't call, don't come!"  

"Ran--"

I click off. The phone rings and I don't even look at caller ID.

"Mom, I am not going to argue--"

"Ran?"

I recognize Paul's voice, and it doesn't sound good. "Paul? What's wrong?"

"Fi got caught with coke."

I sink in my seat. "Aw, shit."

"She got caught at the hotel!" Paul can't believe it. "How did they know?"

"Not me, man." I tell him. "In order to report it, I have to say I saw it which means I was near it and breaking parole. That's why I left--"

"I overheard a cop say a woman reported it."

"Calida wouldn't do it, besides she wasn't even there." I sit and think. "What do you need?"

"How much can you give to get her out?"

"Did she get a bail amount?"

"She has to spend a night in jail." Paul sounds miserable. "She tried to bribe the cop, and he took her in for that!"

"Okay, just call and let me know how much it is," I tell him. "I have to talk to Mimi first."

He exhales. "Okay."

I click off and try Mimi again. Voice mail! I could fuckin' scream now. 

The snow is starting to affect the signals. This gets me worried. We pull into Providence, Rhode Island, and we are informed over the loudspeaker that they are trying to fix them so we can get to Boston. I sink in my seat. This isn't looking good. We might get stuck here! Or not get in until very late.

I call Sy. I don't know why, but I need to talk to someone.

"What's up, preppy?"

"I am stuck in the snow."

"Damn, sorry."

"Is that guy really gone?"

"News spreads fast, huh?" Sy's chuckle is not one of humor. "I saw him go through the gate, man. All good."

"You took him to the airport?"

"Yeah," Sy replies. "Look, I told the guy that this is my home, you're like a little shithead bro to me, and I don't want any trouble for you and yours. He got it. I mean, shit, he's a southern boy, and he knows we take family serious."

I am honestly touched. "Thank you."

"No problem, shithead," Sy chuckles. "Besides, she loves you, man. I don't know if you deserve that--"

"I don't know if I do, but I want to," I admit. "and I just called and checked my mom."

"Well, that's a start," Sy says brightly. "Wait, I thought you were flying."

"Took the train."

"Where you stuck at?"

"Providence."

He laughs out loud. "You lucky son of a bitch! I'm in Cranston picking up custom rockers for the nursery! I'm five minutes away. Get off the train, man, I'm coming to get ya."

@nuggsmum  @messyinsomnimaniac @jencanbeyouryengeralt  @sweetdreamsofgelato  @@mary-ann84  @omgkatinka  @the-soot-sprite  @viking-raider  @keanureevesisbae  @henryobsessed  @summersong69   @sunshine96love  @michelehansel    @thelastsock   @tumblnewby  @tenaciousneckpartypainter  @rn7rocks  @daydreamin83  @musicartmayheminmyheart @kaatelyynn-blog-blog@forallthebrokenheartedthings @alphacancrii  @liquorlaughslove @designerwriterchic   @tamychm  @nikkilynn303  @circesgirl1   @xoxohannahlee  @pixie88@fckdeusername @maan24  @kaatelyyynn​  @october505​ @absentmindr​ @introvertedmouse​  @sassy-pelican @griscka75 @kebabgirl67 @its-carlerr

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #knives out #ransom #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale fluff #ransom drysdale smut #Youtube

[shadesofmauve]

Long-delayed studio pics for @sarasa-cat, focused on decor.

I kept thinking I'd wait 'til it was clean, and I DID clean parts, but by the time I cleaned one part the rest was messy again. I didn't ever sit down and think about decor (as you can probably tell!).

The Side Desk of Crap Accumulation holds such decorative objects as 'cardboard box of CDs I'm slowly ripping' and 'folded blanket for the cat.' (The origami balloons ARE part of a decor project; I'm putting them on a string of lights to festoon... somewhere). The cork/whiteboard behind is the one I already happened to have. At this point the cork side is basically holding art from friends and neighbors (a neighbor painted a rose in my yarden and brought me the picture!). The whiteboard side is the to-do list.

The fiddling/step-dancing sheep a dear friend gave me when she downsized, because it made me laugh... then last week I realized that I still had the green sheep painting I did, so I hung it up, too. But mine is an alien. Usually that blank space has a calendar but it'll likely get some more art.

The view with the viola and fiddle and thermostat is my background in virtual meetings, and if I'd KNOWN that would be a thing I'd have put the thermostat somewhere else, argh. I love having the instruments there though, and I think they're the prettiest thing in the room. The prints next to them are from successful local artist Mimi Williams who did a series of one-color poetry prints and sold 'em for pennies because she wanted normal people to be able to buy art. I think the poems are by her family members? I included a close-up because I love them.

The big-ass mirror with the overly-ornate frame is more a tool than decor, for pose reference, but I threw it up there too. It's suspended from the ceiling with seriously heavy-duty picture wire, because the back of the chimney is behind it and drilling would require a masonry bit and probably crack the sparging. (BTW, that chimney is painted a completely neutral gray -- had the store color-match a gray card, then added pure white 'til it wasn't oppressive).

The lil' antique table is my partner's workspace. The painting behind the monitor is one I painted for him years ago. I'm still really happy with it so I'm glad it's there.

The drafting-table corner isn't exactly decorated so much as storing art and reference things, but I'm really happy I finally got the corkboard up. I like seeing my silly lil' watercolors up there, and it gets at least some paper (like watercolor test squares) off the drafting table. The tarp-like thing is a drop cloth my parents painted snowflakes on and used as the wrapping when they gave me a giant metal rolly toolbox for art supplies once; I've been using it as a curtain since. :P The paintings are there for want of better storage. The top one is an oil painting I really want to finish someday (but haven't touched in, uh, years?). The red columbine study was supposed to be an underpainting but I kinda liked it so it's just sitting there not sure if it's done. The crow-on-green is the opposite — it's supposed to be finished, but I kinda don't like it and it's hanging up there while I decide what to do with it.

#art studio #gpoy #gpoys #gratuitous pictures of your space #I built this space! #pretty much #still very pleased #there's stuff I still need to figure out #especially with E taking a corner of it #but over-all it works well for me

[soulsxng]

@desiderium-eden, @thewolfisawake | Relationships | Accepting!

"Huh? That's a little sudden. Where do I even start? There's so much that comes to mind..."

Amber gaze flicks toward the little Aifaen, sound asleep where he lay on top of JJ. He'd been watching something while Mimi played with his blocks, but eventually the little one had climbed up onto the couch, laying with his head on the center of JJ's chest, and conked right out.

Every once in a while, a little round ear, reminiscent of a bear cub's would flick with whatever Misne was dreaming about. Soft fuzz making JJ scrunch his chin to his chest to prevent the tickly feeling.

"You know, looking at how things are now, I almost can't believe that, two years ago, I didn't want kids at all. And even after Nia, I was only sort of thinking about it...now here we are. A few months, and I'll have had him for a year already. Time really flies."

"I get why I was scared, though. I still feel like I'm going to mess up, and I don't know what I'd do with myself if I do. I mean, look at him. He's always so happy and sweet. He relies on me, and I'm so terrified that I'm going to let him down. I was talking to my dad about it the other day, and he said that feeling only ever really gets worse. So I guess I'm in for a long ride. There's been a lot of hard stuff aside from that too, though."

"The first time he got sick, I don't think I slept for a whole week because even if I knew that he was fine again after three days, I was worried that it might come back or something. He's always goofing around, especially when Nia comes over to play, so he gets hurt quite a bit. Like when he was climbing a tree the other day-- ah, that's right! He's learning how to use his claws! He climbs stuff now, but then his arms get tired and he loses his grip and falls, and I always think he's gonna break his neck or something, one of the times I'm not quick enough to catch him! Like that day! A bird spooked him, and he fell like six feet! Luckily, he only got a little scraped up...he hardly even noticed it! Just got right back up and kept on playing with Essi!"

"He's a really tough little guy; I'm actually really surprised. The only time he really fusses much is when he wants attention. I guess it's probably because he did a lot of things pretty much by himself when he was in the Aifaen Plains..."

"He's learning to talk a lot better than before, too. I mean, he's technically like...I guess a 6 year old human, but when I first took him in, he'd spent a lot of time in his beast form, so he never really learned how to speak beyond...a two or three year old's level? Or something like that. I'm not an expert on child development or anything, so I couldn't say for sure. He's still a little bit skittish around new people, but if he thinks he can 'sneaky' over to check them out before he talks to them or anything, he's usually okay. He's a pretty good judge of character, so far."

"Let's see, what else! The last couple times we've gone to the river together so he could look at the fish, he's wanted to get in the water to jump at them, so I've been teaching him to swim, just in case. He's so good at it! I hardly had to teach him anything-- I just helped him keep above water at first, and told him how to move his legs and arms. It felt like he was doing it all by himself after just a few minutes!"

"Wait, wait, and then last week, I let him help me repaint his bedroom a little bit, and he got it all over in his hair somehow! We did hand prints on the wall together for all of his friends and family, and I had him do an extra little handprint next to one of mine on some paper, and I have it in a frame in my office; it's so cute...! And then--!"

#[JJ -headcanons-] #[Misne- headcanons-] #It got long so I had to cut him off because he WILL give an entire 300 page dissertation about his son #JJ actually usually tries to spend as much of the day with Mimi as he can #lets him come to work with him as long as it's not something dangerous-- pretty much if Essi can be there Mimi can too #Ahnia's royal staff though has been trying to talk to JJ about starting to set Mimi up with some tutors and stuff soon though #and MAN he's not gonna know what to do with himself when he can't just pop in on Mimi whenever he wants #or bring baby bear around with him all the time #He'll get used to it though #he'll be okay!

[punhetamaistriste]

Pack up your sorrows

Today me and my partner had sort of an argument. I did something, they felt bad about it, I was feeling bad about many many things and about how they've been treating me, fought back, it became this thing and they left without telling a word. Their mother and I got really worried. They're both dramatic and manipulative, and I am as well, but I can't in this situation. They left and me and their mother were really worried. Suicide runs in the family. Suicide runs in their mind. I was terrified for two hours. Here's what I thought when I thought they were dead:

"Too many bad times, too many sad times, Nobody knows what you mean

But if somehow you could pack up your sorrows And give them all to me You would lose them, I know how to use them Give them all to me"

Mimi and Ricky Farina wrote this one, and I wish I said this before. I am hungry, alone, desperate, angry. I feel many bad things about you. I tried to took you by the hand as much as I could, I gave you all I could. My life is becoming a mess because of you. Your suffering is transpiring and getting through me. Your trauma is not very unique, you know. I've been through some of it, your mother did it as well. I can't help but feeling that dying is the most egotistical move you could pull off. We're going through hell, and I didn't live hell before you.

I am tired.

If you're dead you're killing me, because I love you. I love your smile, your beautiful head, the way you draw, the way you care about people, the way you're passionate about your major, the way you sleep when I get out of the bed. When I am with you I feel loved, and anytime something new and hellish happens because I am loving a crazy person I remember that. I love how you love animals, all of them. I love your figure. I could probably lift you up with one arm if I was still in the gym. I love how easily you rest in my chest, how small I look when spooning you. I wish you stopped your crying. If you're dead you're killing me, because how could I love anyone like I love you?

You'd say I could probably go on with my life. True. I'd get my degree, go out with old and new friends, maybe, be desperate and alone in my room twice every few weeks, and be normal. But I wouldn't love. How could I? Every demonstration of love, of vulnerability, I did for you. I gave all I could, and there still so much you don't know about me. There's so much you'll never hear. I love hearing about you, your hobbies, your worries, sometimes even proposing solutions. I'd never say there's no way out of anything. If you asked me you would never kill yourself. I want to make you happy, to make you like yourself, but if I couldn't, too bad. You're dead and I'm left alone with the consequences of my helping.

I am extremely hungry. It's past lunchtime, and you're not here. I'll eat. I'll live. I'll go on. But if you're dead you're killing me, because I love you. I want to kick you in the head if you're dead. I want to burn your stuff, I want to rob your pets. Fuck you if you're dead, because I love you and I am alone and all the love I am physically able to give wasn't love enough for you to stop thinking about breaking up with me once every two weeks.

I can't love like this anymore.

[luckytwice13]

2/5/23. It's been a year.

I just wanted you to know that I'm doing okay.

If you were wondering, I still think about you almost every. single. day.

I'm still bitter.

But I still love you.

My buisness is up and growing. It's not moving at a steady pace yet, but I'm praying it will get there.

Praying.

I've grown in my faith. I love God more than anything I've ever loved on this planet.

More than my parents.

More than Sam.

More than you.

I still constantly am thinking of ways to make others happy.

But I've matured. Almost stained with better intentions now.

I notice more quickly my boundaries. I'm still learning to state them though.

I'm thinking about kids. Hard. But Sam says he isn't ready. It really sucks. It's my biggest problem in my personal life right now.

That, and mom and dad divorced.

I'm not taking it well.

It feels like my whole world... childhood, teenage years, adulthood, and future is shattered.

I'd wish the feeling on no one. Not even my greatest enemy.

Michelle's been trying for a whole year. She can't seem to get pregnant...

I'm really worried about her and have been praying for her.

Could you pray for her too?

I know that you know what it's like from your sister...

I wonder all the time how you would comfort me in these situations. You always knew really good things to say that I needed to hear.

I hope you are doing okay.

I really do.

I hope your parents are healed, they are on my mind alot.

Any time a blue van passes I think of them..

I've passed you on the road quite a few times.

I always wonder if you knew it was me or not. I wonder what face I was making, or weather or not I'm mad at you that day.

Selfishly, I've been hoping you'd move.

I keep telling myself that "that's my final tie with you"

But I know that's a lie.

I'll always remember you. I'll tell my kids about you.

About the good parts I mean...

I've gotten 2 more dogs! 2 huskies. My little family consists of Sam, Mr.tee, Midnight, Tiberius, Sprite, and Ghost now. We love our family so much. We are constantly talking about them. All 5 of them.

Do you still have the dog that your... I think now separated boyfriend gave you?

I suspect you started a new Instagram or something. You havnt posted a thing.

I hope you like your new position at the bank. I know they put off actually moving you for a long time.

Honestly.... I really want you to move. I'm done thinking about you so much.

It hurts.

And it makes me so mad.

On some days I can look at the positives, but most days I just feel angry about it all.

I'm sure we are both thinking why did this happen.

But the fact that you didn't try solidified my actions.

Anyways... before I spiral down that path. I just needed to talk. That's all. I still havnt made a really good friend since we went separate ways.

Mimi wants really badly to be best friends, but that's the problem. She's trying too hard and it pushes me away. There is like this unneeded pressure to be friends with her. Even Robbie asks me, "are you going to keep coming over?" It's really awkward. I don't like it. We are both pretty similar but not too similar, you know? But I've been thinking on that, and we have opposing views on really important topics. Which I definitely respect and listen to her views, but she makes me feel like my opinions are wrong and dumb and she's even gotten a little loud with me about a few things. Idk. I don't think I like the way she treats me. But when we are good, we laugh really hard and have a good time. She just changed jobs, so maybe that will help. Even then, she told me "I'm going to call you every single day"..... I asked her not to do that and she seemed a little upset. I told her, "jess and I didn't even do that..." idk. I guess we will see. You have to teach people how to treat you, problem is, I struggle speaking up. It isn't that hard to be friends with someone, I don't know why it feels like anyone I try to be friends with, like it's so difficult. There is always something wrong with them.

Who knows. Maybe it's actually me.

Maybe it's me...

Mom acts really weird now.

Dad doesn't talk to me much anymore.

I think I'm still hurting too much to talk about the details of it though...

Honestly, I feel like I've lost everyone. I HAVE lost everyone.

Everyone but Sam.

And what a lovely man he is. We have had very few disagreements, and the ones we have had have been talked through like adults. He really listens to me and how im feeling. I love him so much and cant wait to marry him.

I'm so so so worried about putting too much weight on him. But deep down I'm struggling with all of the loss.

I have to completely reroute my whole inner system after loosing you and feeling like I've lost my parents.

Yall were all I had.

You guys were my rock.

I made you all my core.

Now I'm confused and lost.

I guess I'm figuring out who I am finally, without all the noise.

So, I guess I'll get there. But my heart physically still hurts when I think of it.

So I shove it down. I keep myself busy with cleaning and my business, and sam, and the dogs, and I just think it'll go away.

It does go away for a little.

And then I have moments like today, when I just miss you.

Jess, you were just a call away. I could just call you and you'd come by and sit on the couch with me. We could just be, together. Nothing forced, it was so natural.

I mourn over your dead body and all of our memories.

The playground. The skate park. Launching my ipod onto the Sams club floor and it shattering, your mom calling us queer. Us going onto omegle, or playing the SpongeBob game bc you loved it so much. Us day dreaming about raising our children together or living next door to one another. Us sneaking out of school to smoke cigarettes. The "quotes" section in every ipod/phone i had for years. The first time you smoked weed "did she say we could do it?". Meeting up with you on Jackson Shop. Laughing so hard id piss myself and you would give me your jacket so i wouldnt be bullied in school. Matching tattoos. Working at the same jobs. Matching our school schedules so we would never be apart. Starting a YouTube channel. Choosing our favorite jonas brother, calling their hotline. Late night phone calls even though we spent all day at school together and always sat next to each other on the bus. Sneaking over to your house, you sneaking over to mine. I could not get enough of you.

I miss you so fucking much. You were my soul sister. I hate that you changed.

I HATE THAT YOU CHANGED.

I'm so mad about you.

And its been a year.

It's been a whole fucking year.

I cant wait for the day that I notice my phone hasn't shown me any of my memories with you.

I want to move on.

I dont ever want to hurt like this again.

I never want to be friends with you again.

I cant ever do this again.

[journalofsorts2]

i made a playlist with a bunch of songs that make me like genuinely cry, like a lot of different media definitely makes me sad or like genuinely effects me, but it takes a lot to actually produce tears from my eyes, and to produce enough that they genuinely roll down my face. and so now i'm going to list each song and try to explain why it makes me cry (if i even know)

Never Love an Anchor - The Crane Wives, mommy issues, daddy issues, parental issues, yeah thats about it

The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives, i don't really know for this one, maybe it's the similarity to never love an anchor that does it, idk

In a Week (feat. Karen Cowley) - Hozier, i've already explained it before but that one really really sad fic that made me cry for days that had a animatic to go along with it and that animatic was to this song, and also it's just a sad song in general but it makes me want to rot away

Gilded Lily - Cults, i really relate to the lyrics, i repeated 'haven't i given enough' really fucking struck home for me like idk life seems so pointless but i keep trying and i keep having to try even harder and i just want it all to be done, so this one also makes me cry

Answering Machine - Ruby Haunt, this one doesn't even have any lyrics but idk man, it just like strikes something in me, i also played this on repeat while writing some of my more sad and serious posts on here so maybe it's because i cried writing some of those that this song makes me feel like crying again

September Sparky Deathcap - Reno, um okay this one's kinda silly but it was playing in the background of a bluey edit for one of the saddest episodes (camping) and it just really struck me and now i can't listen to it without getting sad

welcome and goodbye - Dream, Ivory, i don't actually know the reason for this one, maybe it's the tune, it's definitely not the lyrics because i can barely make them out most of the time, but idk this one just makes me really sad

Scott Street -Penelope Bridgers, idk for this one too, sad song go brr i guess idk man

Would That I - Hozier, of course another hozier song ended up on here, i've already talked about this one making me sad before too, but i think it's because it reminds me of in a week and it evokes that same specific emotion that in a week does and that makes me sad ig

Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos, okay so i've actually been a super big fan of this song for a long time, i think it was actually my most played song in 2020 or 2021 idk, but it just makes me really sad and makes me think of past happiness and like it just makes me wanna cry

Is There a Place I Can Go - Trudy and the Romance, this one reminds me of the type of songs my mom used to play in the shitty car stereo when i was little and we would go grocery shopping together and it just makes me want to curl up in a little ball and be hugged and like i miss being loved

Young - Vacations, this one's kinda cliche but who cares, it's been in my sad song playlists for years now and i've cried with it in the background and idk it just makes me want to melt into the floor and lose consciousness

Constellations - Duster, this one's also kinda cliche but it's also been in like every sad song playlist i've ever had and idk it just calms me down and the tears i cry to it are calm, quiet tears because this is a calm, quiet song

Heart to Heart - Mac DeMarco, this one's the hopeless romantic in me, cause like i just want to be loved so much and i just want someone to love me and that's the feelings and ideas that this song brings out in me

When It's Cold I'd Like to Die - Moby, Mimi Goese, this one is just like i'm tired of trying, living is so exhausting, when life gets hard all i want to do is lay in some grass and fade away, like just, idk when it's cold i'd like to die man, life is too much effort to be this miserable

Romantic Homicide -d4vd, this is another cliche sorry, yes i did find it from tiktok, who cares, but another hopeless romantic song, i just want to be loved, why is that so hard. i also relate this song to losing my old self and my old friends and stuff idk

What Are We Gonna Do Now - Indigo De Souza, idk man something about her voice, something about that statement, something about the dramatic pick up, something about all of it, i just want to know what to do with my life, i just want to be enough, i just want to not have my life have been for nothing, i want to be loved, i want to love

little person - Matt Maltese, this one has also been on like every single one of my sad song playlists and i don't have enough fingers to count how many times i've played this song while lying in my bed in the dark, trying to muffle my cries so my sister doesn't hear me and ask what's wrong because im not even entirely sure what's wrong

Vas - jagger finn, this one's another cliche, yes i get most of my music from tiktok, but it just idk, i've seen too many videos that made me want to end it all that had this song playing in the background, too many slideshows with the saddest quotes known to man and this is in the background

rises the moon - Liana Flores, this one i didn't get from tiktok! it blew up on there like a year after i found it. anyways this one was the first song on my main sad songs playlist and so usually i was already crying by the time it was on, and like it reminds me how i'm always gonna lose my friends in the end and like i've cried over the fact that i have like no friends to this song too many times

ゆめうつつ - Lamp, i'm pretty sure those are the right characters, anyway i have absolutely no clue what the words in this song mean but the way it's sung is just so comforting and it's like 'oh this what happy sounds like' and it just sounds like it's just out of reach and i'm so close to being happy but i can't and idk man

this list made me realize i cry too much, but yeah that's the whole playlist, my playlist are usually only an hour anyways and this is pretty much all the songs that have made me like genuinely cry, it's not a very long list. idk whatever, i'm too sad man

#journalofsorts rants

[notsowrites]

Happy New Year 🥳, is too early to ask your impressions about a future Malex wedding? and/or could you maybe use it as a prompt? when you’ve rested enough obviously :)

Happy New Year, anon! 🎉

I love this question. I love this question A LOT.

So, my personal headcanon for Malex getting married has always been that they'd basically elope. Neither of them want big or fancy or grand. And Michael hates the idea of spending all that money for what, right? But he also would yell from the rooftops his laundry list of reasons he loves Alex (and he does in his vows, like he literally just would start listing them out, and talking about how amazing Alex is, and really everyone would get tired of listening) given the opportunity. He wants the world to know how worthy Alex Manes is of being loved and cherished, and he refuses to hold back.

But Alex. He'll do whatever Michael wants. It's just harder for him to articulate the reasons the same way Michael can - words are not something that come easily to Alex. Especially where Michael is concerned. But he knows how Michael makes him feel, he knows that Michael gives him the space he needs but has never been able to properly verbalize. He knows that when Michael kisses him, when Michael puts his hands on his face or the back of neck, he knows he's safe, he's loved. So when Michael says, "let's get married" Alex knows it's exactly what he wants too.

They go to city hall, and it's just their friends and family as witnesses. It's Liz and Max, and Kyle and Isobel, and Maria and Greg, and Sanders and Mimi and Arturo are there because they're important to them as well. And it's all they need - just them and the people who love them.

Afterwards, they have a reception at the Wild Pony, because Isobel insisted on something (and she knows that she'll be able to plan the fancy goes all out wedding for Liz and Max). And there's more people that show up for that, and Max and Maria give the toast, and by the end of it there isn't a dry eye because not only is it obvious how much Michael and Alex are loved by the people in their lives, it's obvious just how much they love each other. And Max tells everyone about high school, and Prom, and realizing that moment he knew Alex was different for Michael. And Maria tells everyone about the Museum Guy, and the little bits she knew about this guy who'd basically stolen Alex's heart at seventeen, but she didn't know the identity of until ten years later.

As for what we could see in canon? Any of that is fine with me 😂. I'd love to see them engaged. I'd love to see them being together around other people. I want to see them talking about the future together. As for who proposed to who? While I think Michael is more likely to spring the question about getting married, I think I'd love to see Alex ask. I want him to get to that point where he is confident in himself that he doesn't overthink what Michael might say in response. That he won't focus on all the things he still has to do to make the world a better, safer place for Michael. That he'll lean all in, and jump because he knows Michael will be there to catch him. That he deserves to have the husband, the happy ever ending, just as much as anyone else.

This got long, but I also wrote a fic back in 2019 where Malex gets married. It was written pre-1x11, but it's one of my favorite things I've written for the RNM fandom. Anyway, I hope that answers your question? I might write another wedding-type fic for Malex eventually, but I don't know how I'm gonna top the one I already wrote. 💜

#roswell new mexico #malex #ask notso

[xiustagram]

↪Happy birthday @fallen-for-sehun

⤵

Happy birthday Mimi ❤ today's finally that day that makes me wait for September more than anything. Even though i was never really a big fan of my birthday but your birthday is something that i enjoy more than my own one hahaha .it is your birthday, and I don't know where to start. There are so many things I'd like to say on your special day that I literally could not fit into this article. So let me start by saying the most obvious thing: You're my best friend. (Duh) Since the moment you walked into my life, we got along just perfectly. You were like the perfect piece to my puzzle. Not that anything was missing, but you became a part of me and you made me better than I was without you. I know you're probably laughing right now thinking this is super corny. Sure, me too.

One thing that amazes me is your unconditional form of giving. Anytime I need something, you never hesitate to offer and even more. If I happen to have a bad day, you listen to my problems and you reassure me that it will pass. And when I need your shoulder to cry on, you never hesitate to snap me back into reality and tell me to stay strong. You give me so much strength and you've taught me to make this my lifestyle. You always encourage me so much! Remember when i came up with a idea that I'd write a story but few days after i eventually gave up the idea because i wasn't sure if it'd be great but you pushed me to do it and told me I'd do great and the time when i was confused if i should participate in the handwriting competition? But you encouraged me to do it 💪

I honestly don't know what I'd do if you'd never walked into my life. You've made me a stronger girl , a better me. I don't know how I got so lucky that we ever crossed paths. I guess it was just destiny that decided the perfect moment. It's been only 3 year since I met you. That sounds so crazy to admit but I've gotten soooo much close with you in the shortest time🙈 . If I had never met you, I wouldn't be the person I am today✌

be honest i had so many things planned for your birthday since the beginning of the year but it's such a shame that nothing is gonna happen that was planned since I'm not with you 😔 I'm sorry that I'm not with you right now and i know you'll say it's alright but i know it's not . But still i hope that you will be able to spend your best birthday in the best way possible. what if we're not together . We talk most on text than when we are together right? Hahah moving on , i don't know if i ever was the person you wanted to be with and maybe I'm not the ideal Best friend you wanted .but to be honest i always try my hardest to make you feel better, make you smile . Sure sometimes maybe i act or over react but that's all because icare about you 💜💕 and i want to let you know that I'll always be by your side. Just blink your eyes and tada!!! you'll find me beside you😏

I had thought so many things but why can't i remember them right now 😭 i Hope this year bring you alllllll the happiness and love😏 you want and i wish we both Will always be together till the end of world and still will have the time to say i love you 💜 Happy birthday 🎈🎁🎁🎁🎈🎉🍰🎉🎉🎈🍰🎁🎉🎂

#happymimiday #i hope you spend your day with sooooooooooo much love #here's are some heart's to mke your day better #💕💕💜💕💕💕💔💚💓💓💚💓💘💘💘💓💘💓💜💜💘💜💘💝💝💟💝💟💝💖💖💝💖💗💓💓💖💔💖💔💖💔💕💔💖💖💓💟💓💟💝💟💗💝💗💓💗💓💗💓💓💚 #and here's are some flowers #🌻🌸🌸🌷🌼🎴🌷💐💐🌷💐💮🎴💮💠🌻🌻🌸🌷🌼🌷🎴🌷💐🌷💐🌷🌷🎴🌼🌼🌼💮🎴🌷🌷💐🌷💮🌺💠🌺💠🌻🌷🌷🌻🌷🌼🌸🌼🌻🌻🌹🌼🎴💐💐🌷🌷🌼🌸 #i hope your e having a nice time with your husband 🙈🙊🙈🙉🙈🙊🙈🙊🙈🙊🙈🙊💏💏💏💏💑💑💑💑💏💏💏💑💑💑💏💏💏💑💏💏 #wish we could spend your birthday together but its alright since we're gonna have thousand's of many birthday together #and well spend it together promise #🎂🎉🎉🎂🎉🎂🎉🍰🎉🎁🍰🎁🍰🎁🍰🎁🎁🍰🎁🍰🎁🍰🎁🍰🎁🍰🎁🍰 happy birthday 🎁🍰🎁🎁🍰🎁🍰🎁🍰🎁🍰🎁🍰🎁🎂🎁🎁🎂🎁🎁🎂🎁🎂 #.😍😚😍😚😍😚😍😙😍😗😍😗😍😗😍😙😍😙😍😙😍😙😍😗😍😗😗😗😍😗😍😗😍😗😍😗😗😘😗😘😗😗😘😗😘😙😘😙😘😙😘😙

[punkscowardschampions]

Mia & Jimmy & Janis

Mia: [Computer Science project that you have to make a company/logo/business cards/spreadsheets/website/everythang you could think of so it takes a full term or whatever and you have to work with each other in every lesson] Mia: Right, I think we should do a law firm for our business Mia: because my dad is so we can actually use examples to make all our products legit Jimmy: what, like no win, no fee? 👍 can do a funny ad piss easy Mia: That is NOT the kind of lawyer my dad is Mia: funny isn't gonna get us good grades either Jimmy: 💔 Dunno who I'm gonna get to chase my 🚑 now Janis: I'm with Chuckles Janis: you're just trying to make this project most beneficial to you Janis: I don't wanna be a vulture when I grow up Janis: go generic as possible or it ain't fair Jimmy: don't reckon your dad needs the free promo any road, rich girl Jimmy: unless this is a cry for help that he can't get the prey Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Mia: Obviously I want to make it beneficial, I CARE about my grades and future Mia: but I'd love to hear your suggestions I'm sure Jimmy: you after a 🏆 or just a 👏 for trying to get an A? Mia: I get As, new boy, I don't just try Jimmy: I get it, you want 🤤😍 Jimmy: there Mia: Don't be so disgusting Mia: If you two are going to try and sabotage my grade, I WILL make my dad make Sir let me move Mia: I'm not being dragged down Jimmy: crack on, we've worked out your dad ain't busy with accidents at work Janis: Like, please try and use all daddy's clout to get that stubborn prick to do anything he's deciding he's not gonna do Janis: I already said I'd do this shit alone and no 🎲 Jimmy: don't sound like him that Jimmy: go on, rich girl, love to witness another failed flex Janis: You reckon we'd get extra points for fluffing our business expenses like your dad or what? Janis: I'll go along with it if we can convincingly hide our fake funds in a tax haven and make ourselves look LEGIT 👌 Jimmy: Me an' all Mia: You know as little about my dad as you do about your own, Janis Mia: you wish he was as crooked too but he's on the right side of the law so Janis: above the law Janis: can't do no wrong in your eyes, so I've heard Janis: but doubt new boy finds your family drama any more interesting than I do Janis: be a fucking law firm if you like, let's just split the jobs up equally and we don't have to talk until it's time to piece it all together Jimmy: I'll have the ad and the logo, tah very much Janis: you mean the fun bits Jimmy: I mean the 🎨 bits Jimmy: rich girl wants her A Janis: obliging Janis: I'll make the website and business cards, I've done it before Janis: Mia, do the data input, yeah Janis: star in Tarantino's ad, you'll love that Mia: No, no Mia: I don't feel comfortable leaving you completely to your own devices Mia: that's not a totally terrible split of the workload but I intend to oversee every step of the process Mia: we have to do a writeup at the end, you know Jimmy: it's almost like the other lass ain't as thick as you'd feel comfortable her being, funny that Mia: I literally want to do well and as far as I know, I'm the only one here who consistently gets good grades Mia: so hostile Mia: I agree that's how we should split the work but I'm not going to just assume you'll both do it well, we can all have input in every part Jimmy: could LITERALLY fill a book the size of sir's big head with all the shit you don't know about what I do well Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: watch me, if you don't get enough of it already, better uniform at work though, don't you reckon? Mia: Oh my God, brag much? Mia: hit the nail on the head with big head 🙄 Jimmy: stalk much? 🙄 Jimmy: least your dad could take my case Mia: It's HER sister that likes you, not ME Mia: get a grip and take it up with her if you're not feeling it Jimmy: I'll still give your dad a bell, chuck him that 🦴 as he's struggling Mia: As I said, he doesn't DO no win no fee, so you couldn't afford him Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: Now we've established it's justice only for those that can afford it Janis: and rich girls can do whatever they want Janis: what are we doing first, oh mighty project manager Jimmy: I'll do the logo in blue, sounds about right, that Janis: #bluelivesmatter is already taken for a tagline but I'll get to thinking Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll have a think if I wanna use gold for her 👑 or silver for the 🥄 Janis: 🥄 might imply a problem with amphetamines and obviously, you want everyone to know you WORKED for that 💀🦴 all by yourself, you know Mia: You'd know all about that, wouldn't you Mia: taking over the family business, yeah? Jimmy: Oi, it ain't that grim up north Mia: Grim is right Jimmy: Gutted Rosso didn't make you feel like the WAG you deserve on your last visit babes 🤞 next time you'll spot them celebs Jimmy: or you'll keep to Bijou, that glam dress code would never do you dirty Jimmy: 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want me to make sure you're infertile Janis: all those cheat days and binges got you feeling unsure, no problem, just ask Jimmy: lend her the 🥄 Mia: You are both SUCH freaks Mia: what does any of that even mean Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: only a freak on the weekend, me Mia: NOT interested, new boy Mia: I HAVE a boyfriend who's a lot hotter than you, right Janis? Jimmy: makes two of us, rich girl Janis: For someone who thinks my bloodline is filth, you LOVE being surrounded by 'em, yeah Janis: bit weird but everyone likes their bit of rough Janis: how disadvantaged is your dad's newest mistress, I mean secretary? Janis: SO charitable 💙 Jimmy: might be northern, sounds like they've been there loads Mia: Are you gay, new boy? Mia: I'll have to let down Gracie for you Jimmy: only for sir Jimmy: he's well fit Jimmy: crack on with letting your bestie down though and if my mum's the one with your dad, tell her she left the oven on but I sorted it Mia: ??? Mia: What EVEN Mia: you're cracked Jimmy: brb gotta go dry my eyes Jimmy: 🐣💕 Jimmy: I do feel #seen tah for that, hun Mia: I can't even Mia: fine, you two come up with our company branding Mia: I'm going to write out all the info to put on our website when it's done Jimmy: Oi, bad blood, you wanna be the star of my ad or what? Janis: no Jimmy: alright, I'll ask sir Janis: good taste Janis: rinse her dad in a fight Jimmy: tah for the meet cute opportunity Jimmy: when he's her dad's new mr I wanna 🎥📸 the wedding Janis: awh, full ⚪ Janis: she'll look adorable in her flower girl dress Jimmy: 🤞 Gracie catches the 💐 Jimmy: she is on a lad hunt Janis: 🤞 Mia's da has a brother Mia don't also want to fuck Jimmy: don't leave us in suspense 👑 does he or what? Mia: Shut the fuck up or I'll show all this to Sir Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: he'll think I'm 😎 and I'll be well in Janis: Do it, little miss perfect Janis: the part where you shit on my dead dad's grave will be well more shocking when I open the floodgates 😭 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: ... Jimmy: ........ Janis: guess Sir won't wanna pet you no more when he finds out a. you're a cunt b. new boy is interested in your position Jimmy: he'll do til I can get Mr Lucas Jimmy: you can have him back then Janis: LOVE a happy ending Jimmy: I'll look top in my 👰 Janis: gutted about the lack of uniform though, yeah Mia? Jimmy: What do you make your boyfriend wear? 🦺? Mia: New boy, don't even go there 'cos he could beat you down so easy if I asked him to Janis: that means she pisses on him so they know he's hers Jimmy: makes sense that'd be your kink Janis: dog eat dog world, right babes Janis: stories you was raised on come straight out of your dad's man's man motivational speaker bullshit Jimmy: Oh shit, are you my half sister, rich girl? Jimmy: brb gotta pack my shit so I'm ready to move in Janis: get a princess dress to go with that 👰 Jimmy: order my 👑 in XXL tah Janis: can share with your sister Janis: big happy family vibes xoxo Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: get in here sis Janis: finally not a lonely child Mia: Yeah, I SO want 1000s of siblings like you Jimmy: You're alright, I've only got the one brother and the one sister Jimmy: be piss easy to fit us in your palace Mia: You AREN'T invited Mia: might steal the silverware 🥄🍴 Jimmy: I'll leave you a 🥄 to stick down your throat after dinner Jimmy: got some manners, me Mia: That's lovely, isn't it Mia: eating disorders are really serious, you shouldn't make some jokes Janis: respect the 🎨 Jimmy: cleaning the 🚽 after you lot is an' all Jimmy: part of the job description btw, I get that you'd have to have one to know what that means but Janis: 😏 Janis: staff know all your dirty little secrets, babes Janis: better than a tip, like Jimmy: be 👻⚰💀 before I get a tip off her Janis: if we were all walking 'round looking as SICK as her, what would be the point of corroding away her esophagus and not-so pearly whites? Janis: gotta find your own tricks, boy Jimmy: I'll put a ❄️ in the logo for you, babes Janis: cannot escape those coke vibes omg Janis: you're a PR nightmare Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: #whitelivesandwhitelines Janis: GREAT slogan Janis: basically done over here and you're just texting 💀💩 Janis: tsk tsk, Mimi Jimmy: tick tock or tik tok if you'd rather Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 😂 Janis: make us a law tiktok, hun Jimmy: starring your dad, OBVS Janis: share that 🤤🤤🤤 with the world, not just the local 18-35s Jimmy: 💰 on him being a 🔥🔥🔥 dancer Janis: all middle-aged white men are Jimmy: DUH Janis: POV- you're my client, I'm overcharging you Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤😍😍😍 Mia: You're obsessed with me, I get it 🙄 Jimmy: busted Janis: If that's a crime Janis: get to spend more time with your dad than you do Janis: 💘 Jimmy: SO romantic Jimmy: 👨💕 Janis: can't wait 'til he wants a couple grams Jimmy: refill the silver 🧂 Janis: you know it Janis: sugarbowl never tasted so sweet Jimmy: 😋 Janis: careful Janis: her boyfriend WILL fuck you up Jimmy: I get it, he's obsessed with me Janis: can't blame him Mia: OMG Mia: that is soooo fucked Mia: know your family doesn't see blood relation as an issue but he'll 🤢 when I show him this Jimmy: if he's that bothered, he can come find me Jimmy: you've had my shifts memorised since I started Mia: You wish Jimmy: to give him a smack, yeah Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: sounds like a right knobhead Mia: [sends a picture of Pablo like he's a prize bull or some shit gross Mia] Mia: you reckon, do you? 😂 Jimmy: I reckon he looks like a right knobhead an' all now, since you asked Mia: You've got a deathwish like Mia: wow Janis: kindred spirits Jimmy: 'cause you reckon he looks like a knobhead an' all? that's just sense Janis: was talking about her eating disorder which is VERY serious and we MUST NOT joke about Janis: but yeah, the fuckboy radiating from that selfie must be the appeal Jimmy: Soz mate Mia: She doesn't DO boys, I'd save your breath Jimmy: weren't breathing down her neck, that's you Jimmy: I get why now though, it's a blatant crush Janis: Stalking's your kink, right babes? Janis: Or am I just that special Jimmy: [draws these gals as snowflakes holding hands but Mia is melting] Janis: That's good Janis: but horrific Jimmy: #allherkinks Jimmy: [doodles on the picture of Pablo that she sent in hilarious ways] Janis: 😂😂 Janis: Send him that, whilst you're at it, Mimi Janis: really get him 'roiding out Mia: 🖕🖕🖕 Mia: you're both jealous, both for weird freaky reasons Jimmy: Of what? Go on Mia: You're jealous because you think every girl here wants to ride you and I DON'T Mia: because my boyfriend is better looking and fitter than you 💁 Mia: and she's jealous either because she wants me or she wants her own brother Mia: either way 😷😷😷😷 Jimmy: if every girl round here wanted to crack onto me why would I give a shit if you do or don't? Jimmy: all your mates are fitter than you and they ain't close to this paddy school's top tier Jimmy: and you just said she don't do lads so why would she wanna have a go on her brother unless the steroids have fucked him up harder than advertised Mia: yeah 👌 narcissist Mia: neg me, that'll totally make me interested Jimmy: 🤞 it'll keep you well clear Jimmy: that'll do Mia: I want to be working with you as much as you do me, I've said Mia: leave me alone and this can be as painless as possible Jimmy: I get that you're fuming your boyfriend is growing bigger tits than you but that ain't my problem, my dear Mia: So immature Jimmy: still got a deeper voice than him Janis: imagine defending your man this hard when he fully cheats on you Janis: 💔 Janis: daddy all over again, am I right? Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Jimmy: Dunno what I'm more flattered by, that you reckon I'm gay after seeing the state of all the straight lads round here or not wanting to ride me 'cause I ain't a cheating dickhead with massive tits or in your dad's case a hair transplant Jimmy: either way, tah Janis: could donate some to the cause, new boy Janis: hair, not tits Jimmy: you could an' all Jimmy: cause a scandal Janis: #cancelling bitches is a solid hobby Jimmy: there you go Janis: can't lose my only beauty though Janis: 🎻🎻 Janis: have to keep being #problematic yourself babes, so soz Jimmy: 👍 Mia: Stop nerd flirting Mia: send me what work you've done today Jimmy: Hang on, I'll 😎🚬 Jimmy: 💕 Mia: Gross Jimmy: What, I'm only fit and mysterious if I starve myself to 💀💀💀? Alright Jimmy: [sends her the work like oh I must be a nerd then] Mia: Thank you Mia: I'll go over this and give feedback later Jimmy: Gross Mia: 🙄 Mia: I've got to do a speech in Politics and Society after this, so I need to prepare Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 👋 Janis: pleasure as always Jimmy: bit rude if you two get to nerd flirt Janis: what's 'fuck off' in Arabic? Jimmy: تخلص من Jimmy: probably means ILY or some bollocks 'cause I google translated it Janis: beautiful Janis: love double-meaning Janis: Qué te folle un pez espada, new boy Jimmy: ? Janis: I hope you get fucked by a swordfish 💘 Jimmy: [draws their teacher, Mr Lucas, Pablo and Mia's dad all as swordfish so she can vote for who she ships him with] Jimmy: ✔ or ❌ Janis: [❌ out Pablo's eyes and Mr Lucas' junk like no] Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [does very unflattering drawing of Mia all up on her father] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: not an A though, is it Jimmy: [makes it even more unflattering somehow like now it is and now it's also teamwork so even better] Janis: 😏 Jimmy: LOVE a #collab Janis: been waiting for a group project to come along Jimmy: rigged it to work with 👑💀 obvs Janis: duh Jimmy: SO obsessed, her dad will get me off though, he can TOTALLY relate Janis: should but it in our ad Jimmy: 🔪🔪🔪🚿 Janis: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: 💘 Janis: Sir will kill that role Jimmy: Literally Janis: ha ha 🙄 Jimmy: Chuckles is right 🤡 Janis: keep 'em coming Janis: 👑💀 might have an aneurism Jimmy: 🤞 might get an A if she dies Janis: it's what she would've wanted Jimmy: you do love a happy ending Janis: who don't Janis: be my tragic family's fault, no doubt Jimmy: so I've heard Janis: not gonna apologize, new boy Jimmy: weren't waiting for one Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: please stop nerd flirting with me Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: calm YOURSELF down, mate Janis: did I fuck Jimmy: neg me, that'll totally make me interested Janis: [IRL 😏] Jimmy: [sends her a pisstake version of the logo to fully drag Mia] Janis: is it RGB #374E88 though Jimmy: what? Janis: it's called tory blue Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: [does a colour corrected version immediately] Janis: Better Janis: solid 🥇 Jimmy: Tah Janis: [the pisstake business card with the logo for her dad] Janis: we've absolutely SMASHED it Jimmy: I reckon we can go Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: [IRL 😘 to sir] Janis: [we're loving this so hard but gotta hide it] Jimmy: [strutting out cos bad bitch global] Janis: [when you wanna go for all the reasons but also the rumour mill would go off immediately so you're like hmm] Janis: [fuck your life amirite babe] Jimmy: [gutted we ever have to end this convo so same]

[mvsas]

Flora's Chat, April 21, 2005 (4Kidz).

Host says: Good day everyone. Welcome to our second celeb chat session. This time around we have Flora from the Winx Club joining us.

Host says: Flora is here, she's just sitting down with her tea.

Host says: And here she is!

Host says: Welcome Flora.

Flora says: Hello!

Flora says: *Flora smiles waves hello

Host says: We're excited to have you here.

Host says: So I'll open the floor to questions.

Flora says: Thank you!

Winx_girl44 says: Hi Flora I have a question, why don't you have a boyfriend

Flora says: Ummm... (blushing) I guess the right guy just hasn't come along yet!

mg_winxclub says: Hi Flora! I'm your biggest fan! I have to ask you, what's your favorite flower scent?

Flora says: Hi -- ummm, well I really love jasmine, and plumeria

WinxGirl99 says: Flora, i see you have a tulip icon next to your name... What is your favorite flower?

Flora says: I really love gerbera daisies, and I love indigo moon blooms

Flora says: But really, I love all flowers

Queen Renee` Bridget 7891 says: Are you to be queen when you get 20?

Flora says: No -- I am a princess, but my parents still rule the realm.

Flora says: I hope they'll be there long after I turn 20

cutiepieangel_06 says: Flora who do u think is your best friend?

Flora says: Ummm.. well, I can't really pick a favorite -- I like all the girls of the Winx Club

Flora says: I room with Bloom though, so we might be a smige closer

winxNwitches says: Flora what witch do u dislike the most

Flora says: OHHHH -- I think Icy -- well, all of them are pretty bad -- I mean so much bad karma!

fashionfairy says: Flora, what does your planet look like?

Flora says: It's wonderful, and totally green in a lot of places

Flora says: there are lots and lots of different environments on the 5th moon

Flora says: something for every type of plant you can imagine

Txdancer says: so have you see a dragin

Flora says: Yeah -- they have them at Red Fountain, and we've gone to see the stables

lilbabygrl says: When did you first discover your powers?

Flora says: Oh -- I've had them since I was a baby -- everyonbe has them in my realm

winx777 says: which plant food would you MOST recomend for flowers and plants??????

Flora says: well, we have onein my home realm called Fizzle's

Flora says: but I don't think you have it on Earth

Flora says: So I think composted dirt is great, and eggshells in the plant water helps provide minerals too

fashionfairy says: flora, when is your birthday?

Flora says: Mar 16th

winxNwitches says: what is your fave color?

Flora says: I love green (and pink)!

lrb98 says: Flora,what's your favorite animal?Mines a lion!

Flora says: Ohhh -- I love all animals, but I really love dolphins , oh, and butterflies

winx-angel says: Whos your best friend?

Flora says: Umm, like I said before, I think I might be a weensy bit closer to Bloom, 'cause she's my roomie

Juliet says: What your parents names?

Flora says: Well, I just call them Mom and Dad ...

Flora says: And officially they are the High King and Queen of the 5th Moon of Marigold

TattooedPixie says: Flora, did you like to climb trees when you were younger?

Flora says: Of course -- You'd think I was half monkey! Tee hee!

Flora says: There are tons of trees that are excellent to climb in my realm!

winx777 says: I don't like climbing trees. I think it hurts them!

Flora says: Well, the ones on my realm can talk, and they don't mind

Flora says: as long as you don't break their branches, or scratch them.

Flora says: So I think it's alright if you ask them

mg_winxclub says: Have you heard from the Junior League lately?

Flora says: Yep -- I try to keep in touch

Flora says: They're always doing such great things for the Black Mud Swamp, so I'll visit from time to time

mg_winxclub says: That's great!

wiggels says: flora what do you like the best about alfea?

Flora says: I would have to say the other girls -- I mean, really -- they're what makes it so awesome

Mimi Imhotep Winxgirl163: Have you ever been to Earth?

Flora says: Nope- not yet , but maybe someday I can go

wiggels says: i wish i was a winx girl

mewichigotomboy says: whats your fave subject at alfea

Flora says: It's a lot of fun!

Flora says: Umm -- I would say, without a doubt...

Flora says: Potions, 'cause we get to use lots of herbs in class

Glam Gal: What's your fave thing to do in your free time?

Flora says: I generally like hanging out with my plants -- I adore taking care of them

Flora says: so I do that a lot

Flora says: and I love working on new potions to help them grow

Glittergurl says: does it feel weired to be a winx

Flora says: Not at all -- I mean, I have had Winx all my life, so I have never been different

Flora says: so it's not at all wierd to me

Flora says: I think it would be way harder for someone like Bloom

#1Flower says: How old were you when you first joined Alfea

Flora says: who didn't know she had winx

Flora says: Oh -- I was 16 when I started here

Chibi Naru says: Flora, may I ask you if you enjoy blasting things? -attempts the nice tactic-

Flora says: Well -- I kinda like it a little bit, but then I soemtimes feel bad about it after

Flora says: Sorry for the poor spelling -- I am a little nervous!

mg_winxclub says: Do you have a favorite holiday Flora?

Flora says: Earth Day -- and it's tomorrow

winx777 says: DO you LOVE spring?

Flora says: I do -- it's when everything comes out in bloom when realms have seasons

Flora says: apparently Tecna's realm doesn't have them

Josie says: do boys have wings

Flora says: I think there are some realms where they do

ShaRinee' says: When you get ready to fight do you fell nervous?

Flora says: Yeah -- I get really really nervous -- I think it would be better if we didn't have to fight at all

Flora says: I mean - everyone could just chill and talk it out y'know

Flora says: but that doesn't always happen

winxNwitches says: Whats your favorite food?

Flora says: I love anything organic! And vegatarian!

Flora says: oops -- spelled that wrong too sorry

mewichigotomboy says: what do you think of the message board

Flora says: I think it's wonderful!

Flora says: It's cool to check out what everyone has posted

Josie says: do you have a chrush on anyone at red fountin please try to answar

Flora says: sorry to say... no. I mean, I like the guys as friends, but right now, that's about it

Glittergurl says: do u like music

Flora says: Yeah I do! And there have been a lot of studies done to show how music helps plants grow

Flora says: -- so does talking to them btw...

Flora says: So I'm all for it!

flowersfall says: whats your favortie plant please answer

Flora says: I love lots of different plants -- but I really like a tree called the madrone

Flora says: I think it grows on Earth too --

Flora says: It can shed it's bark, and it has leaves that stay green all year long

winx777 says:

Catrina says: Flora, my back hurts and itches sometimes. Am I growing wings? I thought I'd ask you since your a farie.

Flora says: Ummm -- I'm not sure -- It never hurt when it happened to me -- I just got a tingling feeling,

Flora says: but if it hurts, maybe you should see your doctor...

Princesss says: i really like this flower called the periwinkle flower.it has a 99% chance of saving somebody fom cancer.i learned about it in skool.

Flora says: I heard about that too.... There are tons of plants that can help people in sooo many ways

Flora says: and we're just learning about all the wonderful, magical things they can do.

Zoey91 says: Was it hard to turn Merta into a girl from a pumkin?

Flora says: Yeah -- it took a long time and I had to concentrate harder than I ever had before

Flora says: I almost didn't think I was going to be able to do it...

Flora says: but I managed to do it

Winx_girl44 says: What would you give to your mom on Mother's Day?

Flora says: well, when I'm at home, I love to make her a garland of flowers and take her breakfast in bed.

Flora says: I know she gets all kinds of gifts, being a queen and everything, but she says she likes that gift the best

lrb98 says: what's your favorite type of tea?

Flora says: I love almost all herbal teas, and I really like licorice

Mimi Imhotep Winxgirl163: Do you like marigolds?

Flora says: I do -- I was just reading about them in my book!

Flora says: I think they are really special little plants.

Flora says: Did you know that most spieces of marigolds are edible? _ the flowers I mean

Flora says: Just be sure you know for SURE they are marigolds before you try eating them -- oh and make sure they're not sprayed

Zoey91 says: want is your favorite class and why?

Flora says: I Love potions -- and like I said before, I like it because we do a lot of work with herbs

IceAngel says: Do you have pestisides on your planet for your plants?

Flora says: No -- they're not allowed on my planet, we have different ways of controlling the bugs

Flora says: like letting lady bugs eat aphids

Glam Gal says: Do you think the girls on the message boards (And me) could have Winx>

Flora says: and that's part of your winx

winx-angel says: I really need help with choosing a flower for my mom's B-day...

Flora says: oh --- well -- roses are a wonderful way to say I love you, but a single stem orchid is great as well -- plus they last a long time when they are cut

Flora says: the orchids - not the roses, I mean

Josie says: flora,please answar me um i planted for get me nots what kind of music would they like please answar back asap if you can

Flora says: umm -- well, most plants seem to really like any type of classical music,

Flora says: but studies have shown they don't respond as well to hard rock (sorry all you hard rock fans!)

Host says: Just a reminder that Flora can't answer everyones question but she'll do the best she can.

uzma44 says:

mg_winxclub says: Sorry for asking so many questions, but I'm such a huge fan, have a Winx Club website and everything. I have to run, but I'm SOOOO HAPPY you were here today to chat with us! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flora says: Thank you -- and everyone for participating!

Flora says: It's so sweet that you like me!

Flora says: *Flora blushes

Glam Gal says: I'm moving to a new house soon... I;m gonna really miss my current house. Can you please help me stop my fear of missing my house? It's close enough to still stay in my current school so please no help saying good-bye, but can you help me not miss my current home?

Flora says: Well, I wish I could make you not miss it at all, but it's really natural that you do miss it

Flora says: but make your new home your own by decorating your room

Flora says: with stuff that you really love. Plant some new friends, then go outside, and try to make some human firends too.

Flora says: Hopefully you'll feel at home in no time. Hope that helps

lrb98 says: What's better-Tofu or pizza?

Glam Gal says: Thanks Flora! SO SORRY FOR SORTA BEGGGING!!! *Blushes even more*

Flora says: well -- tofu has more protein in it, and can be a really healthy choice (and it can taste pretty yum too!),

Flora says: but that's not to say I don't like a good slice from time to time

lilbabygrl says: Do you like your name?i really like it.

Flora says: Thank you -- I do too -- it used to be my great grandmothers name

Flora says: some people think it's old fashioned, but I like it

lilbabygrl says: do you enjoy Alfea?

Flora says: I do -- it's really a great place to be

Flora says: I learn tons of stuff in class, and most of all, I love my friends there

neonbluemoon says: hey flora my friend katie thinks yur the coolest shes upset cause her pc is broken so she cant talk to you do you wanna say anything too her?

Flora says: Sure -- I Katie -- sorry you couldn't come -- maybe see ya posting on the boards -- Peace out Katie!

lrb98 says: Do you like scary movies?I do!

Flora says: No -- they kinda freak me out -- so they're not my fave

Flora says: I'm more a romantic comedy type girl myself

friendsmagic says: Do you like learning new spells and stuff?

Flora says: Yeah -- I really like learning new stuff -- and you never know when something you learned might come in handy

Zoey91 says: has kiko eaten any of your plants?

Flora says: Yep -- Kiko is one hungry little bunny!

Flora says: He tried to eat my talking plant one time, and the plant screamed and nearly woke up the whole school!

Flora says: I decided it was best to plant him some carrots of his own

Flora says: That way he didn't eat mine!

penaazkhan says: Hi bloom

neonbluemoon says: flora if you liked a guy what would he be like?

Host says: Bloom's not here

Host says: That was two weeks ago. :)

Flora says: well, I would like a guy who was sweet and thoughtful

Flora says: And I guess I would prefer it if he liked nature too,

Flora says: Being cute wouldn't hurt either, but looks aren't everything

IceAngel says: What do you think of Riven?

Flora says: Umm.. sometimes he pulls this attitude, and I can't say I like that...

Flora says: but I've also seen him be ok too...

Flora says: so, let's just say I'm undecided

neonbluemoon says: flora i think yur so cool i like everything about you could you tell tecna i like her ALOT to?

Flora says: Sure I will, and thanks...

fashionfairy says: Flora, do you like fashion?

Flora says: Yeah -- I do like fashion, and I really like environmentally conscious stuff

fashionfairy says: I love your outfits the best!

Flora says: like organic cotton, and linen

lrb98 says: what's a lyrid meteor shower?

Flora says: oh -- that's a meteor shower - Lyrid is the name of it.

Flora says: Tecna says it's named after a greek goddess Lyra

Flora says: and there are tons of shooting stars when the showers are on

Flora says: Really beautiful to watch!

shiara says: do you think that the witches will ever leave Bloom alone?

Flora says: Gosh -- I'm really not sure.

Flora says: I really hope they will, but they really want her powers!

mewmewmint says: You are so smart, Flora! Especially about plants and flowers!

Flora says: thanks

shimmeringstar says: what is yor favorite type of music

Flora says: ummm.. I like a lot of stuff -- right now I'm listening to reggae

Flora says: I like it cause it's pretty up beat

Flora says: I find that helps me to stay optimistic

nicole2005 says: Why is the dragon fire is important?

Flora says: well, the dragon fire was the same powersource used by the Great Dragon, who created the magical universe

shiara says: Is there a Alfea Elementary school?

Flora says: No -- mostly people go to elementary school in their home realms

Flora says: they're too young to go to schools that are away from their parents

Flora says: and Alfea is a boarding school -- so you need to be older

Petti_Angel says: What would you do if one of your friends are in trouble?

Flora says: I would help them! I would do anything I could to help my friends

Winx_girl44 says: Do you like the theme song in your show? 'Close your eyes, and open your heart-'

Flora says: I do like that song -- because it really talks about what finding your Winx is all about

Flora says: you've got to trust and believe in yourself for good things to happen for yourself

Host says: Good questions everyone. Flora has to leave pretty soon. But we have time for two more questions.

shiara says: I am in my school musical and I am the lead opening night is tomarrow and I am so nervouse can u give me advice?

Flora says: That's fantastic!

Flora says: YOu'll be great -- I know you've probably practiced a lot -- so now you just have to believe in yourself

Flora says: you go girl! ( I hope you are a girl -- if not sorry -- you go boy!)

shiara says: thanx see you all later and I am a girl

Flora says: Good luck!

lrb98 says: What would you chose?-POwer or friends?

TattooedPixie says: Good luck Shiara and congratulations on getting the lead opening! You must really be great

Flora says: Hahaha -- Bloom said someone asked her that too -- and my answer is the same -- friends -- anyday of the week!

winx-angel says: Yep, good luck shiara!

Host says: Sorry everyone. I know you have more questions, but Flora needs to go now. It was a great chat session.

Host says: Thank you to everyone for coming and thank you Flora for answering our questions.

Flora says: Thanks everyone. It was really great being here.

Host says: I hope you can come visit us again another time.

Flora says: I was kinda nervous -- but everyone here was soo nice -- thanks

Flora says: Thanks a lot!

Flora says: *Flora smiles and waves goodbye

Host says: *Host waves goodbye.

Host says: Keep your eyes on the message board for further announcements.

Host says: We will have more celeb chats with others in the near future.

Host says: We hope to get Stella next time!

#winx club #winxclub #winx #winxflora