#if i forgot a trigger to tag plz tell me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

melo-yello · 5 years

Text

I Can't (Erik x POC Reader) One Shot

Pairing: Erik x POC Reader

Warning(s): angst, self worth issues, cursing, crying, the most fluff

Word Count: 2,7k+

Summary: Reader can't take much more of the uncertainty Erik provides.

A/N: I've been work in this for a while and think its finally done. It was gonna be all angst but I needed to feel good. This my first Erik fic so be gentle plz.

Erik traces the forming hickies along your neck as he gropes your inner thigh.

You breathe heavily as you try to regain some of the energy you'd lost in round three with Erik in the last couple hours. You could feel his chest vibrating beneath you as he hums. Your lips curl into a smile against his neck.

Erik isn't the kind to strike you as a singer.

Too brooding.

Too distance.

Too militant.

But every once in a while when he’s feeling content or peaceful even he'd hum or sing a few lines or two.

Always the same song.

A vaguely familiar melody you couldn't quite place. If you mention it he'd stop and completely deny it.

He used to be in some choir at his Gigi's church or something like but that's all that he'd tell before slipping into his drunken comma after a particularly rough round and a couple shots too many of Hene.

Not that you could complain. He laid that shit all the way down.

You glance at the scars that liter his upper body. He smiled when he saw your eyes fill with intrigue rather than fear the first time he told you how he got them. That night you knew you weren't special to Erik.

Neither was anyone else.

Sure he'd never say that to you but he didn't have to. If these casual hook ups ever became too real and someone tried to use you as leverage you'd be dead in a heartbeat. And Erik would be the one to pull the trigger.

He couldn't afford to catch feeling with so much at stake. Neither could you in your line of work it just didn't make sense.

Contract killers don't fall in love.

Everyone comes with a price tag and a body bag.

No unnecessary complications. Commitment means baggage and baggage means sacrifice. Sacrifice could mean your life.

But. . .

Here . . .

In these sheets. . .

These sheets are where you love each other. The way his body fits perfectly in yours. Tangling into one another with keen precision.

The way his temper and passion matches yours. Your strength is an even opponent to his. . . Almost. The way that you only really satisfy each other.

Sure Erik had other girls but they weren't even in your league.

The throaty growls of your name pulled from his chest. The countless hickies he leaves in his wake as his fiery touch ignites your soft skin. His primal need to drag lusty cries from your lips. Moans are traded like currency between the two of you. The jealousy banging after you “casually” mention you fucked another guy just to see him steam.

You sigh letting the long awaited tear trail down your cheek and hit his chest.

You'd miss this.

Erik stopped humming. You try to wiggle out of his embrace, but his grip tightens.

“Y/N, where you going stay a little longer.” He chuckles half sleep.

You pull yourself free from him.

“No Erik I've got a flight in the morning. ” You sing-song nonchalantly pulling back on your lace thong.

“Come on we've got time. It's not till 10:00, right?” He groans pulling you by your waist against his chest.

“Wow you were actually listening.” You tease attempting to bruise his ego.

“Baby, don't play. Ya kno I love what mouth do.” He grins while running his tongue over his lips then your earlobe before nipping the lower half of your neck.

“Oh don't play coy, bitch. I thought an MIT grad could read between the lines. Erik, you kno what I mean.” You shrugged trying your best not to tear up.

He huffs letting you go and leaning against the baseboard.

“This shit again?” Erik says rolling his eyes and handing over the lacey hot pink push-up he eagerly undid within minutes of your arrival.

“Well E, give one real reason I should keep wastin my very valuable time on you?” You smirk and without missing a beat you take your bra and put it back on. Erik kisses his teeth as he rolls his eyes.

“We're having fun. Ain't that the point of all this.” Erik laughs shrugging his broad shoulders.

Why does every asshat have to be built like a demigod?

You sigh and stand up and spotting your jeggins lying in his doorway exactly where you'd thrown them to earlier.

Easily gliding your curvy hips into the flexible fabric.

“Bye Erik.” You hiss while walking out of the bedroom to find your top.

“Come on, Y/n. Quit playin this hard to get shit.” Erik sighs pulling on his Adidas sweatpants. He follows you out of the bedroom.

You search the living room for the peach tank you came in but it’s nowhere to be found.

“Who says I'm playin? Maybe you're not fun anymore?” You hum brushing pass him to get to the couch. Erik rolls his dark eyes letting a cocky chuckle escape his chest.

“So who's your new dick?” Erik says folding his arms with the slightest hint of jealousy in his voice.

You smirk over shoulder to meet his burning gaze and roll your eyes.

“No one, just know your limp dickass ain’t doing it for me. That stroke game has been pretty damn weak lately. ” You giggle pushing the cushions apart before climbing onto the sofa itself to hang over it. His deep brown eyes burn as you brush pass him. Proving you have bruised his pride. Something he couldn't let pass.

Erik gropes your ass forcefully enough to nearly send you onto the floor, but pulls you firmly to his waist.

“ErIk!” You gasp as you brace yourself on the couch.

“Yea say ma name just like that, Baby girl. If you need me to jog your memory I'm more than willing to remind you.” He growls sliding his hands to your hips and grinding against your ass.

You lean back into him rolling your hips to match pace with him. His fingers slip into the side of jeggins prying at the lace fabric of your panties.

“Who says I forgot.” You whisper biting down on his earlobe. Erik groans in ecstasy just as you push him away.

You dismount from the couch and swinging your hips as you sashay across the room having spotted your shirt.

“Oh my God you’re such a fucking tease.” Erik huffs watching your hips bounce before following.

“I've learned from the best.” You sneer reaching for your tank that had somehow made its way onto the top of the bookcase just out of reach.

A warm hand finds the small of your back as the other plucks the peach tank from the shelf.

“So you gonna tell me what's up, Y/n?” He breathes into your ear.

You swallow the lump sitting in your throat and turn to look him in the eye.

“Trying to be decent. How about you?” You try to laugh off the cracks in your voice.

Does he have to look like he could care.

You feel your chest clench.

“Y/n cut the bullshit. No strings. No lies. No feelings. Remember, Baby girl?” Erik hums moving his hand from your back to your cheek.

Like you could forget the pact you two made to avoid a real feelings and relationship.

Yea no feelings.

Your head dips unable to meet his deep brown gaze anymore.

The tears you've been holding finally stream down your cheeks.

“I'm cutting my losses, Erik. I can't play this game anymore. It's not fun anymore it just hurts. I kno you don't care about this shit for real.” You shrug.

Erik drops the tank and gently lifts your chin.

“Hey Trap Queen, I care about our shit.” He smiles wiping a few tears away.

He presses his forehead against yours just before tangling your lips with his. Passionately kissing you. Like he has to remind you. Like action is the only way he can prove it.

You bite his bottom lip and he groans allowing you in. Heavy breathes and quiet moans trade between you as one tries to overpower the other. The pit in your stomach twists tighter and you pull away.

“Erik...You really don't...Not Really. And I can't keep doin this with you.” You choke out pushing away and tugging on your tank. You drag an arm across your face as you pull on your sneakers. Searching for the jacket you came in only to realize it’s one of his.

“FUCK IT!” You huff snatching up your keys. You go for the door but Erik yanks you back by your wrist.

“WHAT THE HELL! Y/n, you don't get to decide that!” Erik fumes.

“LET ME GO! I’m not doing this.” You rage back.

“No! Yo little ass started this shit and we damn sure gonna finish it! You ain't gonna tell Me who I care about! Until everyone you've ever given a real fuck about leaves you all alone don't come at me with ‘You have intimacy issues bullshit’! No shit I do! I WAS FUCKING 8, Y/n! Did it EVER occur to you this is the best I can give you? Y/n get yo uppity ass off yo damn high horse! You don't care. That's why you're walking away. YOU'RE SCARED! SCARED SHITLESS THAT YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT US AND YOU COULD LOSE IT!” He counters his voice spewing his repressed resentments like blood from a cut.

“The Hell If I Am?! Like You’d Kno! You Don't Kno Shit About Caring! Or Being scared. You haven't felt anything real in a long ass time! YOU TOLD ME. You kno if it came down to it and you had to choose me or yo own ambitions. It wouldn't even be a contest. Despite what you may believe Erik WE'RE ALL BROKEN! IN OUR LINE OF WORK WE ALL COME FROM SHIT SHOWS! And with yo big headass I'm sure you think this is the best you can give to me. Letting me just close enough to this best version of yourself that way I'll come back to you legs open and praying that what we have is special. We can't keep pretending this shit is real. Find some other dumbass bitch to play Bonnie and Clyde with you!!” You spit ripping your wrist from his grasp.

You stare him down before turning to the door.

Erik steps in between you and doorway. His nostril flared as bit down on the the inside of his cheek.

“That's what you think this is to me, Shortie?! A damn game of pretend? That we playin some fucked up version of house!” He says taking a couple steps closer.

You roll your e/c eyes.

“What the hell else was I supposed to think.”

You stare back at him for some form of a contradiction. But it doesn't come.

“That I-” He just swallows the rest of his words.

He keeps opening his mouth to speak but no words come out. His chest tightens as he balls up his fists trying force a decision from his lips, but his pride won't let him.

You can almost hear the war raging in his head and you can't help but pity his dumbass.

Sucks to be you.

You shrug barrelling past him.

“See!!! You're A SHITHEAD, ERIK!” You shout throwing up your middle finger as you slam the door behind you.

Numbed by your own disappointment you barely notice the cool breeze whipping against your skin. You snatch open the black hummer’s door. As the door shuts your forehead falls into the steering wheel.

Your heart rams into chest at full speed.

All the childish vulnerability you refused to let Erik see came pouring out. You wrap your fingers around the steering wheel. You throw head back and scream at the ceiling.

Everything you hated and loved about him spilling out of you like fountain. Curses muffled by the reinforced glass.

“WHO THE HELL DOES THAT PUNKASS BITCH THINK HE IS TELLIN ME I'M SCARED! HE'S SCARED! HE'S JUST ANOTHER DUMBASS DICK,” you yell staring yourself down in the rearview mirror, “JUST CAUSE I DON'T WANNA WASTE MY TIME ON HIM DOESN'T MAKE ME PUSSY. I LEFT THAT UNREQUITED SHIT IN HIGH SCHOOL. I'M TOO GROWN FOR THIS! I AIN'T GOT THE TIME TO BE STRUNG ON HIS DUSTY HOTEP ASS! ...even ...if he does smell amazing all the damn time. even if he has an immaculate skincare routine and does the dumbest shit just to make me laugh and for the first time in long time doesn't make me feel like I'm a monster… FUCK!” You groan leaning your forehead into the horn.

This is the end and you give a fuck.

Too Many FUCKS.

It just isn't fair he came out unscathed.

You slam your fist into the horn over and over again.

A quiet knock from outside the window makes you freeze completely.You crack the window just enough to see his brown eyes.

“Not to interrupt ya moment but you might wanna cut that shit out before somebody calls the cops.” Erik says attempting to sound like his usual smartass self, but cracks in his voice won't let him.

“Nigga, you need the number or somethin cuz I got em saved in my contacts.” You croak wiping your face on your arm. Trying not to sound half as bitter as you're feeling.

“Nah I need you to open the door, Ma.” Erik says gripping the handle.

“Why, you wanna pic for motivation as you type that vague Insta story about how ‘bitches ain't shit’?” You flare over the window.

“No thothina, so I can curse yo smartass out for havin me so damn whipped I'm out here standing in the cold with no shoes in front of a locked car of a woman I've already smashed tonight.” Erik huffs looking you dead in the eyes. There isn't an ounce of sarcasm in his voice.

The lock snaps up as you just stared at him wide mouthed and confused. He pulls open the door, but he doesn't make a move to touch you. He just props himself on the door with the jacket you wore to his house that night in his fist.

“I wasn't gonna say shit. Too fucking tough for that vulnerable shit, right. I wasn't gonna let you kno you got to me. But watch in u walk out that door...I couldn't do it. You had to kno that We're real. Babygirl, whatever this is it sure as hell ain't pretend...at least not for me. I kno I'm hard to read and sendin out all kinds of signals sometimes but it's not you. There's a lot of hurt shit in here. It's terrifying to care this much about someone again.” He pauses offering a hand to you and as hesitantly give him yours he steps closer placing both on his chest, “But for so reason I don't really mind if you see that shit. I'm not askin you to stay. I just want you to kno it was real. We were real. It's fuckin insane how much I care about some wildass assassin I met in some dank ass hole in wall nightclub with a hit out on my mark. You got me sprung, Y/n. I think I... love you.” He smirks at you with uncertainty shining in his deep brown eyes.

You swallow the lump in your throat and step out of the car. Closing the distance between you and him as you take his hand from his chest and place it on your neck and cheek.

"You really mean that shit, Stevens?" You hum looking down not quite ready to meet his eyes. Never before have you seen that kind of openness in his expression.

Like he was ready to risk all. He gently lifts your chin so you'd meet his gaze.

"Baby, you're everything I need and more."

You pull your arms around his thick waist. You cover your bubbling laughter in his chest.

"E, you do realize you just quoted Halo right?" You smile biting your bottom lip as to not all out laugh in his face.

Erik frowns slightly before scooping you into his arms and belting into the chorus in key as he carries you to the door and you erupt in laughter.

#black panther #erik stevens #erik x reader #erik x poc reader #erik x black reader #erik killmonger x reader #black panther killmonger #killmonger fanfiction #killmonger imagine #erik imagine #erik fanfic #self insert #i cant #one shot

177 notes · View notes