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noelwho · 8 months

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Ultimate Chronological Order Imodna Playlist!!!

Hello! I feel like I have to introduce myself ‘cause I’m barely on Tumblr. I’m still learning how to use it, I posted a couple of fanarts and they went really well, so I want to try and make myself a spot in here. My name is Noel (they/them) and I’m a big fan of Critical Role. I started watching a few months ago, with Exandria Unlimited. Once I was done I went ahead and started Campaign 3. I’m currently on episode 49 (I know, I have a lot ahead yet). I also watched the first season of Candela Obscura and a couple of One-Shots.

Today I’m here to talk about the Lesbian Southern Gothic Witches. Earlier this week I started to obsess over a playlist. An Imodna playlist, to be more specific. It started with me listening to one I found on spotify (I will credit below because it’s been a huge inspiration for this project) and I got the urge to make my own. At the beginning it was something chill, something normal…until it was not. Over the course of the last 3 days I haven’t thought about or listened to anything else. I got the idea of making the playlist in chronological order and I started to take it very seriously. I divided their history in 10 different chapters and assigned each song to the correct time period. At first it was just gonna be into chapters, but then I started to put them in order inside the chapters too, and it became very personal. For real, this playlist has been the one and only thing I wanted to talk about for days. Last night I finally finished it. I’ve played it for run tests several times and I think it’s finally ready to see the light (kinda feels like the project of my life even though I only spent a few days working on it).

After all this brainrot it didn’t feel right to just tweet a link to the playlist, I wanted the world to know everything that went through my head in the process of making this. I also don’t have many people around who care about Critical Role, and I thought it was a good opportunity to connect with the fandom. So all of this took me here, to tumblr. All of a sudden it became very clear that this was the perfect place to set my baby free.

There’s some things I wanna make clear before you start reading, the first being the classic: english is not my first language. Sounds like a joke at this point but for real, it’s very likely that this thing is full of grammatical mistakes and I want to apologize in advance (specially about the in/on/at situation, I’ve been having lots of trouble with those for some reason) This is also the first time I do something like this so it may not be perfect. The second thing is that this will obviously be filled with spoilers. In fact I actually haven’t even got to The Scene, I saw it around on Tumblr and Twitter (impossible to avoid that spoiler, but I don’t really care). I’m aware that there’s a lot of Imodna moments that I haven’t seen yet, but I couldn't wait to start this playlist. I don’t know if the episodes I have left to watch will translate into new chapters or into new songs for the chapters I already have but either way, I will keep this post and the playlist updated.

With that being said, welcome to this ride through an unhinged mind. Fasten your seatbelts and enjoy!

The tether scene is one of my favorite ones. I love that metaphor with a passion. That’s why I chose this name for the playlist. With the photo I wanted to make an allusion to the red thread myth given that Laudna herself carries around a spool of red string. I even edited the picture so the hands on the right are slightly gray like Laudna’s.

There’s not just one specific vibe to this playlist, but I find it to be a very calming one, with the exception of some specific moments that we will talk about later. I tried to avoid strong and distracting beats so I could keep it a little ethereal. Lots of acoustic guitar (which I love). I’m not going to talk about every single song because some of them have pretty obvious meanings. Usually the songs aren't a 100% match, but they do have a part to it that speaks to me and to the story on a certain level.

× Imogen and Laudna’s separate lifes ×

At the beginning of the journey that is this playlist, I wanted to introduce the characters. Intertwining their songs, we get to know Imogen and Laudna’s pasts, before they have each other to face the terrors of being witches in a world that doesn’t quite understand them.

Delilah - Florence + The Machine (Laudna)

I sometimes wonder if Marisha has ever listened to this song, because oh my fucking god. I wanted to start the playlist with Abbey, I didn’t because with the intertwining I couldn’t make it fit, but this one is a very good start as well. This song shows perfectly how it must have been being brought back by Delilah and having that power all of a sudden.

Abbey - Mitski (Imogen)

Matilda - Harry Styles (Laudna)

Imogen - Nick Mulvey (Imogen)

Laudna's lullaby - Ginny Di (Laudna)

Time comes in roses - Bess Atwell (Imogen)

The Tradition - Halsey (Laudna)

Burn it down - Daughter (Imogen)

There’s several songs from this album on this playlist. It couldn’t fit better. It reflects perfectly the moment Imogen started to develop her powers. It even refers directly to the way she parts ways with her town (which doesn’t happen for a few chapters but still I felt this one belonged here). Her fear of being a disappointment, her father becoming absent, the feeling of being cursed. It’s all here.

The hanging tree - The hunger games (Laudna)

Still I wait - Anna Leone (Both)

Even with everything they had to go through, they both still wait and cling to hope.

× Imogen and Laudna meet ×

Finally, their paths cross. They experience the feeling of warmth for the first time in a long time. They both feel the need to keep the other one close and begin to appreciate the little things in life, learning how to be taken care of. Goodbye loneliness.

Season of the Witch - Lana Del Rey

I'd like to walk around in your mind - Vashti Bunyan

How important is this song knowing what Imogen can do…

Comfortable Silence - Bella Porter

Without you without them - Boygenius

A hole in the earth - Daughter

That Moon Song - Gregory Alan Isakov

Love brought weight - Old Sea Brigade

That distant shore - Steven Universe

Sick of losing soulmates - Natalie Dawn

I Hear a Symphony - Cody Fry

Sidelines - Phoebe Bridgers

The bug collector - Haley Heyderickx

Sometimes I feel that it’s always Laudna taking care of Imogen, as if she didn't have anything on her own plate. It can't be easy to live with a voice in your head and paranoia. This song shows how Imogen is there to hold Laudna too when it becomes too much.

Look up - Joy Oladokun

If the last one was an Imogen’s POV, this one is totally a Laudna’s POV. Her and her silly little pep talks. “You’re so capable”.

Daylight - Taylor Swift

I love the idea of them learning that life can be good if you find someone to share it with. This song encapsulates that perfectly.

Spell - Dora Jar

I wanted this one to be the last one of the chapter because it introduces the idea of leaving together.

× Imogen and Laudna run away together ×

“Would you run away with me?” They learn what it’s like to have a home that’s not a place, but something entirely new. The past still follows but they’re no longer crushed by it, because they don’t have to sustain it on their own.

Departure - Daughter

Second child, restless child - The Oh Hellos

Just the two of us - Grover Washington, Jr.

I really like to imagine Imodna slice of life scenes when I listen to this song.

Dandelion Wine - Gregory Alan Isakov

Homesick - Dwara, Khotton Palm

Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers

When I realized how much of a Laudna's POV this song is, I almost cried.

Telepath - Manchester Orchestra

I really really like Manchester Orchestra, it's one of my favorite bands. I never let go of the chance of spreading them around, and this one is the best song they have. Laudna's POV for sure.

everything i wanted - Billie Eilish

With songs like this one and Intertwined, I wanted to introduce the idea that even though they're definitely better off now that they left the town, that doesn't instantly solve all of their problems. As I said before, the past follows, but they're no longer alone with it.

Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers

Intertwined - Dodie

Nothing else matters - Phoebe Bridgers

As long as they're together, nothing else matters.

× You lied ×

Even though I only have a few songs for this precise moment of the story, I thought that it was very important to include their first fight. The gem is broken and Imogen feels betrayed. Laudna is left abandoned and thinks she deserves to be punished for Delilah’s wrongs. We explore jealousy for the first time.

Witches - Daughter

The silence at the end of this instrumental song represents the loneliness that Laudna felt when Imogen left her alone after her incident with Delilah

Landfill - Daughter

There are two possible ways of reading into this one. This is in my opinion a Laudna's POV. She could either be talking to Imogen, expressing her deep rooted desire for a punishment for what she’s done; or to Delilah, alluding to the attachment she has to her own powers (that at least as far as she knows are there because of Briarwood) opposed to the hatred she feels for her and for herself for wanting those powers (this is a theme that they explore later on future chapters)

Are you okay? - Winnetka Bowling League

Afterglow - Taylor Swift

The archer - Taylor Swift

× Laudna’s death ×

Otohan Thull relentlessly kills three members of Bells Hells. A coin is flipped and Laudna is gone, again. What awaits beyond the afterlife? Perhaps a little girl, a monster and a tree.

DVD menu - Phoebe Bridgers

If death’s not exactly DVD menu by Phoebe Bridgers, then someone tell me what’s like because I can’t imagine otherwise. I freaking love how this song connects with Daffodil.

Daffodil - Florence + The Machine

Death with dignity - Sufjan Stevens

Bells in Santa Fe - Halsey

I like to imagine that Laudna didn't appear in Nightmarish Whitestone immediately. Up until this point, she's in a limbo, accepting her own death. Bells in Santa Fe marks the moment she sets foot in that Upside-down kind of world. The constant repetition of “All of this is temporary” is like a mantra for her, the only hope she has of getting through it with her sanity intact is believing that this will also end and she will finally find peace.

Willow Tree March - The paper kiss

Hard times - Ethel Cain

Tether me - Galleaux

With this song and the next one, I wanted to express desperation. We don't get to know in the series how she feels throughout all of this, but I can only imagine how terrifying it must have been. There's a point where anyone would have started begging for help.

Matilda - alt-J

× Imogen’s grief ×

“Is she your favorite?”. Imogen feels deeply guilty for what happened. The possibility of bringing Laudna back is the only thing that’s keeping her from losing it completely. All the regrets, all the words she wishes she said before, all the times she didn’t approached her when she wanted to, come afloat. Grief, disassociation and sorrow.

Words - Storefront Church, Phoebe Bridgers

This song is meant to represent the exact moment of Imogen floating and losing control, with Otohan in her head pushing her to let go.

Goner - Twenty One Pilots

No other song in existence can express better the moment Imogen realize Laudna's gone for good.

Lanterns lit - Son Lux

True Faith - Ashley Johnson

Hurt for me - SYML

Carry you - Novo Amor

My love - Florence + The Machine

Lucky for you - Novo Amor, Gia Margaret

Killer + the sound - Phoebe Bridgers, Noah Gundersen

Should have known better - Sufjan Stevens

Ya'aburnee - Halsey

Show you a body - Haley Heyderickx

Imogen (even Laura) loses hope for a moment during the ritual they do for bringing Laudna back. The end of this song summarize this repeating a lyric over and over (you can clearly see through this playlist how much I love repetition).

× Back together ×

After Bells Hells confront Delilah at the Upside-down-Whitestone of Laudna’s nightmares, Pike manages to bring her back to life. Imogen and her are back hand by hand, and nothing can ever tear them apart again. Here’s where I think something awakes inside them, but they are far from realizing it.

I am the Antichrist to you - Kishi Bashi

Like an angel “fallen from the sky with grace”, Laudna’s back on Imogen’s arms.

Darling - Halsey

This love (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

Now that you're home - Manchester Orchestra

Lose you again - Manchester Orchestra

Halloween - Phoebe Bridgers

But not kiss - Fayer Webster

Like I said, something changes after this. What they’ve been through is not nothing. This song is here to show that something is born deep inside them, on their subconscious far from their reach yet

× Back to Gelvaan ×

Same as with the “You lied” chapter, I felt that this one was important even though I just have one song for it. It just matches perfectly. Imogen and Laudna visit Imogen’s hometown and the place where they met, searching for answers. Old wounds, some closure and an emotionally absent father.

My tears ricochet - Taylor Swift

× Tethered ×

In this chapter the platonic bond is peaking. It takes place right before The Unraveling, giving in to the “Can I kiss you?” phase and becoming romantic. They’ve been through hell and back just to stay together. This is my personal favorite bit of the playlist, everything is extremely intense but not yet explicit.

Tethered - Sleeping at last

I Will - Mitski

Anchor - Alli X

Don't let them see you cry - Manchester Orchestra

Crosses - José González

Quietly - Manchester Orchestra

Francesca - Hozier

Moon song - Phoebe Bridgers

Capital Karma - Manchester Orchestra

Everywhere, everything - Noah Kahan

In a week - Hozier

Monster - King Princess

j's lullaby (darlin' i'd wait for you) - Delaney Bailey

I will follow you into the dark - Miya Folick

I wouldn't ask you - Clairo

× Can I kiss you? ×

Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The beggining of something new, the next and most logical step of this journey. The platonic becomes romantic and they get to truly explore the feelings they always had, and some novel ones. This is the moment I know less about, but I’ve used my imagination and my own headcanons.

Can I - Genevieve Stokes

I debated a lot whether to put this one at the end of the last chapter or the beginning of this one because I don't know how relevant Laudna's death is up to this point, and there's a huge reference to this in this song. I know for a fact that the Delilah’s plot is not over and things will change, but I couldn't resist the urge to put it in here, given the name of the song and its obvious connection to the chapter.

We'll never have sex - Leith Ross

Wading in Waist-high Water - Fleet Foxes

This is the last time - The National

All my ghosts - Lizzy McAlpine

Prière pour la nuit - Barbara Pravi, November Ultra

Chewing Cotton Wool - The Japanese House

Bandages - Rachel Bobbitt

This is it, this is The Ultimate Chronological Order Imodna Playlist. I don't know if I'm the first one doing this, probably not, I don't know if this has any value to anyone beyond myself, but I had a hell of a lot of fun. If only one person were to read this till the end I would be more than satisfied.

I’ll link here the playlist that started all of this. Massive respect for this person whoever it is, I took lots of the songs from here

Infinite thanks to anyone who gets here or saves my playlist, feel free to respond with any song that you think adds to the story!! Something tells me this isn't the end of my Imodna brainrot so,,,, more things could be on their way (a fanfic, perhaps?).

No idea how to end this so… long live Lesbian Southern Gothic Witches!!!

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georgiarts · 1 year

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Ok here’s something, over 4000 words of something, under the cut. It started as a simple Imodna themed playlist and a few scribbled notes in a journal and now it’s this. Far, far out of hand. Scroll on to read about what each song means to me, how I interpreted them, and a little almost fanfic-like projection of how I think they’re maybe feeling. Mostly from Imogen’s perspective, but it ebbs and flows.

Songs along their story up to episode 49. Let’s all have a just shy of episode 50 breakdown together. And please, talk to me if you feel like it, I’ve loved writing and curating this and I’m by no means good at it, but who cares, the enthusiasm is definitely there.

Ever beautiful art by distant--shadow.

I Hear a Symphony - Cody Fry: This was the first song that came up randomly on shuffle and I was like oh Imodna meeting song? It spurred all of this… I know there are some questions in the fandom over whether Laudna’s thoughts actually sound like music or is that just a metaphor, but whatever the case I love it and the meaning still stands. She wanted more, “perfection is so quick to bore, you are more beautiful by far, our flaws are who we really are” (and after ep49 those lyrics are even better than they originally were). “You took my broken melody and now I hear a symphony” - the way Laudna always tries to build Imogen up, how capable she is, she’s her tether, she fixes that broken melody. I wish one day we’ll know exactly how they met, what it felt like and the first words to each other, spoken aloud or not, the first time Laudna held Imogen’s hand…

Everybody Does - Julien Baker: This is just - Laudna as an “elegant carpenter”, “the same briars from your ribs are the tinder in my father’s house” - Imogen’s home had sort of felt like it had already gone up in flames, or was rather a slowly burning precarious pile of twigs, still hurting her when she got too close but she had gotten used to the sting. Then Laudna, then everything that went wrong or right and she can’t be there anymore, won’t be there, won’t stand for it, Laudna won’t let her stand for it. But they still both think the other is going to run, everybody does. They both think they’re not worth it but the other is. And I wonder how long it took for them to tell each other everything and see the other still standing right there, looking at them like they were worth it.

Horses - Maggie Rogers: Maybe at the start of their journey, in disbelief that someone would want to come with them. Horses for Imogen, but the idea of being able to run together and Imogen dreaming of feeling that wild freedom and getting a little of it as they leave, away from where she felt trapped and watched the horses she cared for get to run and run while she couldn’t. Laudna starting to notice Imogen’s nightmares, “I hear thunder and I start to break”, “the truth about dreams is they’re a feeling that meets you in between wha you want and what you really need” - Imogen’s nightmares, her power, her mother, the storm and I like to think some nice dreams, that one of her and Laudna baking… She needs to find somewhere in between. Maybe she’s started to tell Laudna the truth about things and is worried, “would you come with me or would you resist, could you just give in?” - almost exasperated, needing someone to just even give in and accept her, help her, bring her a glass of water after a bad dream.

Apple Pie - Lizzy McAlpine: A more Laudna perspective song. Being chased out of places, building her little homes alone in rundown shacks and then the pitchforks come again and again. Some days she’s lonely, some days she’s not. She can make friends, literally, she can be happy regardless. But then there’s Imogen, “I’ve been running round trying to find a place where I can breathe […] Home is wherever you are tonight.” Home becomes something different and can be both a person and a place, and Imogen says things like “Lets move her after everything” and she knows the answer to “How do you make a home?”….

everything i wanted - Billie Eilish: I’m not sure if this is the exact right place for this song, but it’s early Imogen, and early being comforted by Laudna after nightmares. “As long as I’m here no one can hurt you […] If I could change the way that you see yourself you wouldn’t wonder why you hear ‘they don’t deserve you’”. Having a happy dream and it turning on her. She didn’t know how much longer she would have lasted... The way they both speak to each other, this relationship of building the other up and making them see the beauty in each other… They’ve heard the worst, know the worst and here they are.

Ghosts that we Knew - Mumford and Sons: Of course this one has to go in, Laura Bailey, how will we ever get over this choice. Imogen realising she has someone who has her back, someone she can lean on ask them to promise her they’ll be alright. I suppose I’ll just copy what Laura said in here because what could be better: “When Laudna swept into town - Imogen’s world shifted. They’ve seen the worst of people, but together they’ve realised that things CAN be better. Hearing the thoughts of Laudna’s acceptance of her - knowing her spoken words were true - Imogen began to see the good again.” - She found someone who understood, she fell hard (platonically or romantically, however we want to read it), and is willing to give everything to Laudna for as long as she wants her too, “I will hold on as long as you like”. Laudna saved her and now even though those ghosts hurt them she can see a long life together, light at the end of the tunnel, and feels it so deeply she would wish for her heart to be buried next to hers.

Like Real People Do - Hozier: So I debated where this song should go in the order, but for now I’m having it as a Imogen realising her feelings go a little deeper, I imagine this after we knew them for a bit in the campaign. Pre-fight but not that much before. Maybe it mixes in with the fight and jealousy and Imogen sometimes allowing herself to imagine a world in which she gives in to these feelings she doesn’t let herself linger in and Laudna feels the same. Also many Laudna death and back to life imagery, Delilah imagery, Imogen cares, she wants to know everything, but she won’t ask unless she knows Laudna wants her to. And hey, if we collectively don’t feel it fits here let’s just imagine it later, after the talk in ep49, when they speak about feeling abnormal or maybe even later in a future we haven’t seen yet.

The next few are during the fight and when Dusk is about, they say similar things and could probably be ordered differently but here they are:

Team - Bear’s Den and Monica Martin: Pre-fight into fight… a mix of perspectives here, Laudna checks on Imogen, she wants to make sure she’s ok but doesn’t want to overstep. Then Delilah does it for her. And Imogen doesn’t wait around to understand. Laudna thought she would, that they were a team. Maybe she’s feeling a little betrayed by Imogen just as Imogen did in the moment that rock broke. And then later, Laudna trying so hard and Imogen wishing she could let go of her pride and let Laudna back in. “You know the longer it goes on the more it feels like it was a good thing she did it, but I can’t tell her that yet”. She wants to let her back in but doesn’t know how and Laudna doesn’t either, she’s trying so hard to win her back, she’s talking openly about her feelings to others in the group and being vulnerable to them all and trying to let Imogen know she’s there for her.

Bloom Later - JesseR: The rock, the fight, Dusk, Yu. Imogen watching them have fun, missing those “little rays” Laudna brings to her rain. “I’m a lilac and you are my sun”. “When you’re gone the sky turns crimson so I wait for the dawn” - the dreams feel worse without Laudna beside her and waking her in the morning, still holding her hand at dawn. They were talking about getting her into the dreams and Imogen had hope thinking of that. “Never been a liar” - Imogen realises, she realises too late, Laudna wouldn’t. She sees her befriending Dusk, “I need you to come back”. She worries she’s too fast, that her feelings are too much and Laudna is different, feels different and then its confirmed, she hasn’t accessed that part of herself in 50 years… But Imogen still watches Laudna glow around Dusk with a sad smile because it’s beautiful nonetheless, “some things never change even when they hurt”.

She - Dodie: Dusk asks and Imogen lets herself think and deny and bury. “I’d never tell, I’d never say a word, and though it aches it feels oddly good to hurt.” She is happy to have those feelings, ones she thought she’d maybe never get because of who she is, because of what she can do. Sometimes the mask slips. She’s jealous and when Laudna says she hasn’t accessed that part of her brain she shuts it down further… She doesn’t want to feel wrong for the way she feels but she doesn’t want to take advantage and push if Laudna isn’t ready and may never be. May never feel the same. “She smells like lemongrass and sleep” - tea and warmth and autumn leaves and a rare good nights sleep, some things maybe Imogen associates with Laudna. She’ll watch her be happy with Dusk if that makes her happy. “I’ll be ok admiring from afar, because even when she is next to me we could not be more far apart”, if their feelings differ she’ll still support her, if there’s that rift because of it she’ll still be there, caring. “She means everything to me” - Imogen knows that much and will admit that much easily, and so will Laudna, and they have done.

Someone Else - Deb Never: The chorus says it all really, Imogen watches Laudna get flustered around Dusk and she hates the way it makes her feel. “Don’t you carry on even though we’re worlds apart” - “And then as soon as we get here Dusk shows up and I’m hurting and Laudna’s just living it up with this new person, smiling and laughing like she doesn’t even care that we had a fight” - “I’m painting the skies red, so don’t close your eyes babe, ‘cause even inside I can feel I pouring, I drown in my own bed, drown on the words said, how selfish am I?” - the fight, her powers, she feels selfish, Laudna is trying to make it up to her and she threw everything away over a rock, she didn’t feel like herself, she feels like she’s drowning, how she used to feel in the nightmares when no one was beside her. She looks at Laudna and Dusk and she feels guilty that she feels a conflicting smugness when Laudna says all she could think about was whether they were ok when Dusk was flirting and didn’t know what to.

Over In No Time - Babygirl: Another Imogen crush song. Missing Laudna. Knowing how she feels but not wanting to overstep, “Just let me know when it’s showtime and I’ll over in no time” - if Laudna said she wanted it, wanted her, she’d wait for that, if it ever came, she’d wait for Laudna to tell her it was ok and not before, but she’d be ready and waiting. “I’m whispering your name like I’m taking a vow” - the way they say each other’s names. “Will the dream come true?” - which dream, Imogen is scared for both, the nightmares and the good ones, which one will come true? They make up and they comfort each other and look for advice and all is ok for a little while.

Voices In My Head - Acoustic - Skinny Days, Cate Downey: Laudna and Delilah, the fight with FCG. Imogen saying she knows it wasn’t her, that she shouldn’t believe what Delilah says, she’s not helping her. Laudna trying to separate herself from that voice that has been there for decades, it makes sense she’d get tangled, “They’ve been singing on a song, in the end I sang along, ‘cause we talked and we agreed, to let them live, let them run inside of me”. And then more Imogen feelings with that ending, she wants nothing more than to be able to turn down the voices in her head and be able to turn down Delilah’s in Laudna’s too.

And then there’s Laudna’s death:

Adam’s Ribs - Jensen McRae: They just made up and then they lost her. “It’s like I’m made of you. I can’t lose you yet, I refuse to let you go, Loving you is in my bones”. “This heartbreak quietly rewired me, my world is ending now, don’t tell me to calm down”. “Without you, I would die” The fight to bring her back whatever it takes, she’ll do it, and even with all the loss, if she couldn’t bring her back, if Laudna made her choice, she’d still do it again - “The high is worth the bruise”. Everything they had isn’t lost even if she may be, but that doesn’t mean she won’t give everything she has to bring her back.

Dream State - Lucy Dacus: Imogen thinking about Laudna and what they’ve been through and what it would be like without her. I imagine her late at night, scared to sleep, in the hole, thinking back to brighter times to try and guide her dreams there. “Without you I am surely the last of our kind”. Hits more after ep49 and knowing Laudna feels that way too… Maybe she’s thinking about past Laudna comforting her, compared to now, alone, sleeping next to her body, if she wakes to thunder, there’s no “we huddled under covers”, just her, alone and cold. The last of her kind, how would she ever find someone like her again, how could anyone ever treat her how Laudna did, have what they had. “I could not recognise your face in the rubble” - Laudna, under that debris, Imogen blaming herself, not being able to say it, to accept or believe what she saw, what is still happening.

Moon Begins - Florist: I’m not entirely sure of the order of some of these, but here for now here’s something that maybe starts to feel what Laudna falling into that dark space may be like. Sparkles of before, her moon, she knew death was inevitable again, borrowed time, she had love and can still feel it but she’s slipping. And there it is, Delilah, the tree, that “something that waits in the forest for you to learn how to be afraid”.

Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers: A few thoughts about this one - those first lines “no longer a danger to herself or others”, “she could do anything she wants to, she could do whatever she wants to do, she could go home but she’s not going to”. Maybe Imogen dreaming one day of feeling safe, or an alternate world where she was someone else, that she’s not a time-bomb, that she and her powers don’t get the people she loves killed, that one day she won’t hurt herself anymore and she can do anything, be anything she wants. But right now, she won’t be going home, not Gelvaan, that isn’t home anymore. One day maybe she’ll have to ask herself what she wants, but right now she is without a clue. “She knows she lived through it to get to this moment” - a dream of getting through it all, of getting a little house with Laudna, to fight and then to get to rest. But right now, she would do anything Laudna wants, she would do anything to get her back, she would do anything for her once she is back and whatever she wants to do in the future Imogen will be there. But maybe there’s that caveat, that right now, as she is, what she did, what she could do, she will not put Laudna in danger, even if that danger comes from herself. She’ll let herself dream of a future, but only when she’s no longer a danger to herself or others.

The Fear of Losing This - Florist: Laudna in that place, that half real, half distorted place, making Paté again, alone, back where she started. She sees them for a second, sees Imogen for a second and wants that strength, those colours of love in the grey, to try and fight Delilah. But the fight is hard and she doesn’t know what’s real and how long she’s been there, everything fading confused and scared. She’s almost just ready to give in. She never asked to be here at all, not the first time, not now, is it inevitable, is this it? But sometimes she can think about them, her friends and remember, even though she knows more than anyone that nothing stays forever. “Nothing is mine to keep”.

Matilda - Harry Styles: In Laudna’s mind. Matilda’s childhood. “Nothing about the way you were treated ever seemed especially alarming til now. So you tie up your hair and you smile like its no big deal” Laudna and her happy attitude, is it a facade, how she had that childhood and it was ok and nothing was alarming and then it was? Can Laudna even really see it for herself? She treats it like it’s no big deal as she tells others, only dimming a little when they make her see otherwise. “You talk of the pain like it’s all alright, but I know that you feel like a piece of you’s dead inside”. She’s blasé about it and people don’t understand, but maybe there is that part that’s devastated, that wants her youth and life back, angry that it was taken from her, that she’s not truly, truly alive? “You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days” Maybe that’s how Imogen feels, both about Laudna and how Imogen makes Laudna feel. Maybe how some of the others in the Hells feel - “you’re the happiest person in this bunch” - She doesn’t even realise how strong she is. “You don’t have to go. You don’t have to go home, oh there’s a long way to go, I don’t believe that time will change your mind, in other words, I know they won’t hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go.” - the fight with Delilah, the speeches over her body, that she has a choice, can she let Delilah go, force her to go, can she let go of that tether to her past and find a different one. She can go “home” but she doesn’t have to - whether that home is back in her parents’ house or with Imogen and everyone else. It’s up to her.

Witch Hunt - Chandler Leihton, DEZI: Imogen’s anger, “Delilah Briarwood, we are going to sunder you”. She doesn’t matter, Laudna does. Imogen is protective, she’s angry. Delilah. Otohan. They’ll pay. She’s more powerful than they all know, than she herself knows. She’ll show them. Laudna is her’s, not Delilah’s, her being her favourite may have cost her this time but there is no way she’ll let it happen again, no one is taking that away unless Laudna wants it herself.

Secrets - Cellar Door - Radical Face: (stealing jout—jout’s brilliant suggestion i saw a while ago) - not sure if this is the right place in the list for it, but maybe it feels like the fight with Delilah and the resurrection and Laudna’s confusion and being ‘compelled’ and then being given a choice, the feeling of someone touching her hair and the love that came with it. She’s trying to find her way out, through, back. She’s re-living those ugly words from childhood, twisted even more, she’s making Paté again and back to that space of running and that’s interspersed with memories of Imogen smiling when she thought she’d find her scary and ugly like everyone else. Imogen showing her she’s not alone, then and now - “she blinked and flapped her wings, she sang a familiar song before she took to the air and cut a path into the woods” - showing her a way out? Running from ghosts, touching death again but showing each other they’re not alone and then she’s back and Imogen’s hands are in her hair and the people she loves are all around her, flowers scattered and new old homes, new old trees, to be found.

j’s lullaby (darlin’ i’d wait) - Delaney Bailey: She’s back. Either perspective, platonic or romantic I suppose, “tie a lasso the moon and bring it on down to you” - They’d do anything for each other, give their lives for each other, the stars, the trees. Laudna’s maybe, “Darlin’ I wish that you could give me some more time, to herd the whole sky in my arms and release it when you’re mine” - Marisha has said Laudna is aware she’s on borrowed time, does she wish for more? She would try and herd that red nightmare sky into her arms and take it away from Imogen until she could protect her from it right? Laudna being back and Imogen being so happy but trying to calm herself to help calm Laudna. Also, just them calling each other darling right?

Holding Hands (In My Dreams) - Mynolia: The title says it all really, they’ll hold hands as long as they can and as long as it brings Imogen comfort. Imogen would like those lazy, cosy naps and warm barefoot days and worrying about simple household things but she can’t, not now, it’s fights “they’re in too deep […] there’s no escape, no time to waste”. She has to keep going for now even if those nightmares feel like waking from a good dream, for now they have to keep trying and Laudna keeps holding her hand, asleep, awake, in her dreams…

Montana - Slow Pulp: Imogen thinking about going home, seeing her father and how that town and the people in it made her feel. Wants it all out of her head. Laudna to hold her hand again. She doesn’t want to move backwards, they all help her do that.

Pancakes for Dinner - Lizzy McAlpine: Imogen being too scared to talk to Laudna, she doesn’t feel like she could ever tell her. She wishes sometimes Laudna could hear thoughts too so she wouldn’t have to say it out loud. “I wish you could hear me when I talk to myself” She wishes sometimes Laudna could see herself how Imogen sees her in her mind. Sometimes maybe Imogen allows herself to have nice daydreams, baking, pancakes for dinner. “I think that I should probably tell you this in case there is an accident and I never see you again” - what if she loses her again and Laudna doesn’t know, could she live with that? But what if it’s not welcome? “I wanna get stuck in your head” - the calm, the music, Imogen wouldn’t mind living there. When Laudna asks her what she’s scared about saying and she doesn’t answer. “‘Cause to tell you is too scary so I’ll just say something else” but then Laudna says she’ll be her better half - “Well maybe I won’t ever say what’s in my head, no I won’t have to say anything, you’ll say it instead” - maybe Laudna will be the brave one, she tried to push her to say what she was afraid of after all, and maybe one day if either do say how they feel, it’ll be Laudna who takes that step first in the end.

Cognitive Dissonance - Sophie Holohan: Imogen and her confusion. She’s asking questions that are making her friends look at her like she’s already betrayed them. “Well Imogen, I wish my family didn’t have to die for her brighter tomorrow” - “Why? Do you need convincing?” She’s been chasing this thing or its been chasing her while she’s been told to run away and now they’re running toward. She’d rather live in a fantasy, but knows she can’t. How will they ever get through this? She can’t even comprehend it all.

Flight risk - Tommy Lefroy: How Imogen feels about herself, she’s tired, fighting instincts, being asked, knowing maybe she has to kill her own mother, if it comes to it, she’s overwhelmed and doesn’t know how it’s all going to end, but she feels like a flight risk and is worried about bringing everyone else down with her. She levelled that part of town and didn’t even know it. She doesn’t want to lose them, but she won’t have to lose them if she’s already gone. The rest are worried and not worried and they’re equally as scary and… “You’ll never leave me” - “If I’m already gone” - can she save them by sacrificing herself - she knows what Laudna has said, she won’t leave. “You always have me, no matter what you choose”. But she’s conflicted, should she let Laudna do that, she was scared enough to even let her in her dreams in an attempt to keep her safe, she won’t have to lose her again if she goes first…

Tether Me - Galleaux: Imogen’s confusion - how Laudna’s talk makes her feel, “You're my tether, Laudna. Sometimes I feel like I'm about to float away but, as long as you're there..." Will she get to move on from this, will she make it out of this alive, she maybe wants to, to count on Laudna to be her tether so she does, it’s the only way she’ll get back from wherever she ends up, if getting back is the right thing to do. She feels out of control and half just wants it over with however it ends. “Speed of light to the red dawn” “it’s dark out here in my own thoughts” her own body with its scars showing everyone who she might be… proof or evidence, she heard Orym, she knows what they think is right and if they need to pull her back its Laudna who can do it.

We could end it beautifully there, but lets just add in a little song for them all, all of Bells Hells as they are, heading into a battle where we can’t see their way out, just a little love for each other…

Till Forever Falls Apart - Ashe & FINNEAS: It’s all amping up, the world may end, the sky may fall from heaven above…. “There’s nothing more romantic than dying with your friends” - I just wonder if this is how they all feel, going in to this, considering last time with Otohan, and this is so much bigger, but they’re doing it. Just little old them against a god eating god and an entire army and the hope that some others show up. They believe enough in doing it, in themselves maybe, or maybe they just feel they have to try so there they go, flying in, clutching to hope and each other…

If you’ve made it this far I am truly impressed and truly thankful. I had a great time doing this and hope you enjoyed listening and reading and living in the beautiful thing Laura and Marisha and the rest of CR have created. Scared and excited for episode 50. Can’t wait to see what they build in the next 50 too.

#imodna #imogen temult #laudna #critical role #crit role #cr #cr3 #campaign 3 #bells hells #laura bailey #marisha ray #southern gothic #critical role 3 #critical role campaign 3 #playlist #imodna song #imodna playlist #imogen and laudna

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