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questionsonislam · 3 years

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What does it mean to love and to hate for the sake of Allah? What should one understand from it? How should one love and hate for the sake of Allah?

Our prophet (pbuh) states in his hadiths: “Whosoever of you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then hating it in his heart; and that is the weakest of faith.”

Islamic scholars, when interpreting this hadith, point out to that our Prophet addresses this hadith to all classes of our community. And they interpret this hadith accordingly. In this case, “changing with hand is the duty of government, army and the police. To change with tongue is the duty of education system, teachers and religious functionaries. And hating in heart is the duty of ordinary citizens” said they.

As “hatred” may mean treating the people who commit bad deeds like enemies and hating them by heart, it is generally interpreted as treating hostilely. However, this seems to contradict to our religion’s other principles based on love. While some young people said that they applied the Prophet’s hadith as “change with hand”, some said “hating in heart” is for the hostility between relatives. However, this is not how it should be.

It is essential to treat a bad behavior towards us with a good behavior in order to prevent badness. Quran the Glorious states: “The believers are not else than brothers. Therefore make peace between your brethren” (al-Hujuraat, 10) “The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and you there was enmity, will become as though he was a bosom friend.” (Fussilat, 34) “Those who spend freely (of that which Allah has given them) in ease and in adversity, those who control their wrath and are forgiving toward mankind; Allah loves the good’ (al-i-Imran, 134).

In the light of these verses, we need to resort to Bediuzzaman in order to reveal the truth by finding out something moderate between preventing evil deeds and hating by heart.

Bediuzzaman Said Nursi wrote the “Letter of Brotherhood” on this issue. Bediuzzaman suggests us a few principles:

First Principle: A person’s own thoughts and opinions cannot be measure to evaluate others’ opinions. If one evaluates others’ opinions according to his/her own views, it is inevitable for him/her to wrong.

Second Principle: It is right that all that you say should be true, but not that you should say all that is true. There are different perceptions and behaviors, the reasons of which we cannot know, in the community. In this sense, a judgment, which is true under some circumstances and according to a person, may be wrong under different circumstances. A judgment made without figuring out the real reason may be deceiving.

Third Principle: Emotion of hatred exists in true nature of human beings. If you wish to nourish enmity, then direct it against the enmity in your heart, and attempt to rid yourself of it. Be an enemy to your evil-commanding soul and its caprice and attempt to reform it, for it inflicts more harm on you than all else. Do not engage in enmity against other believers. It is wrong to respond someone who is hostile to us with hostility. If you wish to defeat your enemy, then respond to his evil with good. For if you respond with evil, enmity will increase, and even though he will be outwardly defeated, he will nurture hatred in his heart, and hostility will persist. But if you respond to him with good, he will repent and become your friend. It often happens that if you tell an evil man, "You are good, you are good," he will become good; and if you tell a good man, "You are bad, you are bad," he will become bad. Hearken, therefore, to these sacred principles of the Qur'an, for happiness and safety are to be found in them: “Those who witness no falsehood, and, if they pass by futility, they pass by it with honourable (avoidance) (al-Furqan, 72). “O ye who believe! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them! But if ye forgive and overlook, and cover up (their faults), verily God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (at-Taghabun, 14).

Islam bases relationship between believers on affection and love. A true believer’s heart is a heart freed from all kinds of hatred, enmity, jealousy and conspiracy. The word Islam literally means safety, security, trust, welfare and peace. A person who fulfills the requirements of the Islam must be like this too. A true believer’s duty is to provide peace, welfare and love. Everything must be loved because they are Allah’s art and masterpieces.

When someone asked our Prophet (pbuh) “which deed is more beneficial in Islam?” he replied: “giving others food, saluting people you know and do not know”.

Love and affection are the essence of the universe and the reason for its existence. However, everything should be in accordance with some principles. Anything that is unprincipled is harmful. Pleasantness is hidden in principles. “Loving and hating for the sake of Allah” is pleasant when it is principled and towards whom deserves it. Everything must be loved because they are Allah’s art and masterpieces. Hating for the sake of Allah cannot be towards humans as humans are Allah’s greatest sign and the most perfect art. It is towards humans’ negative features and evil feelings. For this reason, a true believer takes pity on them and tries to improve them. Therefore, hatred and enmity are for infidelity, attributing partners to Allah and other immoral features derived from these.

Allah the Most Supreme created human as kind beings. For this reason, when our Prophet (pbuh) saw a Jewish man’s coffin, he stood up for respect. When people asked him why he did so, he replied: “He is a Human”. Our Prophet’s love and respect for humans is that supreme.

Bediuzzaman who learnt from our Prophet’s (pbuh) teachings, said “We are guardians of love, we have got no time for enmity”. This is the reason of masters such as Mawlana and Yunus Emre, who learnt from Islam.

Limits and Principles of Tolerance

It is necessary to establish limits of tolerance carefully. Tolerance towards people and tolerance towards infidelity, haram, enmity and distortion must not be confused. Those who made infidelity and distortion a part of their personality and who are well-known for these personality traits must not be tolerated. Approaching to people who brag about their infidelity like Abu Jahl and Abu Lahab means to tolerate infidelity and cruelty.

“Abu Jahl” means the father of ignorance and rudeness. He wasted his life being an enemy of our Prophet’s and Islam. It is ensured that “he is the Pharaoh of the prophet’s followers” by Prophet (pbuh)’s words. In spite of this, our Prophet did not allow anyone to talk behind Abu Jahl in order not to offend his son Ikrimah, who converted to Islam after the conquest of Mecca and rendered great service to Islam. “Do not offend their children by criticizing their fathers and speaking unnecessary words about them” ordered he. However, this does not mean tolerating or showing affection towards Abu Jahl. This is for the sake of Ikrimah who is a muslim.

Allah the Most Supreme states in Quran “say: If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline: or the dwellings in which ye delight - are dearer to you than Allah, or His Messenger, or the striving in His cause;- then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious.”

Believers’ love towards Allah is greater than that of them. Only if those cruel people could understand today that all power and might belongs to Allah and Allah’s wrath is so violent, like they will understand it when they face the punishment. As stated in Quran “On those who believe and work deeds of righteousness, will (Allah) Most Gracious bestow love”, Allah indicates that things that belong to world and to finiteness are not worthy of love.

“And there are some among men who take for themselves objects of worship besides Allah, whom they love as they love Allah”

True believers do everything in accordance with Allah’s content. For this reason, they love for the sake of Allah and hate for the sake of Allah. In fact, Allah the Glorious states “You shall not find a people who believe in Allah and the latter day befriending those who act in opposition to Allah and His Messenger, even though they were their (own) fathers, or their sons, or their brothers, or their kinsfolk; these are they into whose hearts He has impressed faith, and whom He has strengthened with an inspiration from Him: and He will cause them to enter gardens beneath which rivers flow, abiding therein; Allah is well-pleased with them and they are well-pleased with Him these are Allah's party: now surely the party of Allah are the successful ones.”

Loving for the sake of Allah does not include infidelity and cruelty and those who have these traits and similarly tolerance is not for them either. The main principle in Islamic jurisprudence is this: “Tolerating cruelty is cruelty and tolerating infidelity is infidelity”. For this reason cruel people and those who insist on infidelity and who try to destroy truth, denying it consistently cannot be loved, as they cannot also be tolerated. Allah the Glorious threatens those who incline towards cruelty with violent punishment, let alone the cruel ones.

Again, Allah the Glorious addressed to the believers in the following verse of Quran: “Say: My Lord has enjoined justice, and set upright your faces at every time of prayer and call on Him, being sincere to Him in obedience; as He brought you forth in the beginning, so to Him shall you also return. Some He has guided. Others have (by their choice) deserved the loss of their way; in that they took the evil ones, in preference to Allah, for their friends and protectors, and think that they receive guidance.” (al-Ar’af, 7/29-30).

Allah’s another name is “Aduw”. Allah is the enemy of infidels. It is stated in Quran: “Whoever is an enemy to Allah and His angels and messengers, to Gabriel and Michael,- Lo! Allah is an enemy to those who reject Faith.” Our Prophet states in his hadiths that “One who Allah dislikes the most is the one who becomes infidel though being a believer before. The one with whom Allah gets angry the most is the one who goes too far in enminity. The one amongst slaves Allah dislikes the most is the one whose clothes are better than his/her deeds. They dress up like prophets but they behave like cruel sinners”. It is expressed in these hadiths that a true believer must love faith, not infidelity and enmity and must hate them.

The relation between believers is based on love:

Allah the Most Supreme lists His true slaves in Quran as in the following verses: “Those who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good” and “And those who will not witness vanity, but when they pass near senseless play, pass by with dignity.”

True believers love each other for the sake of Allah. They do not love for a special interest. For this reason, their love will not decrease if they cannot make a profit from it. If someone treats them unfairly, they forgive it and approach to this fault with tolerance, the way it already should be. However, if someone is wrong or falls into an error willingly or unwillingly, the true believer’s way of helping him/her must be saving him/her from this wrongness and guide him/her to the right way. It would be betraying the misguided person to say to him/her “you are doing right”. A true believer gives advices for the sake of Allah to the ones who do wrong and insist on doing so; he/she does not begrudge him/her his/her advices and prays for his/her success. However, if he/she tries to stray him/her from the right way too, he/she keeps away from him/her. He/she hates his/her error, not his/her personally. That’s to say; he/she recognizes the error and avoids it verbally, emotionally and physically. A true believer does not like sins, unfairness and enmity but hates them.

Brotherhood and friendship has got an important place in Islam. However, this friendship and brotherhood do not require tolerating errors; contrarily, a true friend is the one who protects his/her friend from errors and helps him/her through the right way. Three things are of great importance for humankind. First is a friend who will direct us to right way when we stray. Second is halal earning. Third is praying with a community, which will redeem sins. Nevertheless, these three things are very hard to find in the last days of the world. Our Prophet (pbuh) stated that “halal earning and a sincere friend are rarely found in the last days of the world”.

Allah the Most Supreme states in Quran “But those who before them, had homes (in Medina) and had adopted the Faith,- show their affection to such as came to them for refuge, and entertain no desire in their hearts for things given to the (latter), but give them preference over themselves, even though poverty was their (own lot). And those saved from the covetousness of their own souls,- they are the ones that achieve prosperity.” and extols Ansar (people of Madina) for these good manners of theirs.

Our Prophet (pbuh) said: “You shall not enter Heaven unless you have Faith and your Faith is not complete until you show love towards one another.” He also said in another hadith: “Whoever has three things discovers the sweetness of faith: that Allah and His Messenger are more beloved to him than all else, that he loves another only for the sake of Allah, the Most High, and that he hates to return to disbelief as he would hate to be thrown into Fire.”

Allah the Glorious states in a verse: “So fear Allah, and keep straight the relations between yourselves”; “The believers are naught else than brothers. Therefore make peace between your brethren and observe your duty to Allah that haply ye may obtain mercy.”

Conclusion:

Hating in heart means to hate the sin, not the sinner. It is established by the verses that those who accept Allah’s oneness and admit it sincerely are Allah’s friends and are close to Allah. Whoever treats a friend of Allah’s hostilely, Allah is that person’s enemy. In this sense, hatred and enmity towards a believer is not permissible no matter how sinful he/she might be.

Abu Derda suggested us a principle by saying “Do not swear to your brother/sister; praise to Allah who saves you from falling into the same error with him/her. Also do not hate your brother/sister, but hate his/her evil deeds”. Bediuzzaman said Nursi, because of all of these, said “It is not time of enmity and hostility anymore. What is the worthiest of love is the act of loving and what is the worthiest of hatred is enmity.”

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bethestaryouareradio · 4 years

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Become Color Blind

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Become Color Blind

MIRACLE MOMENT®

“When ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”

Anais Nin

MESSAGE FROM CYNTHIA BRIAN, Founder/Executive Director

“You are so lucky! You have red blood!” my mother chimed when, as children, any of us would injure ourselves and be bleeding. We’d immediately stop crying and be grateful that our red blood meant that we were humans and not some form of alien. We were taught that every person was equal. No one was better or worse than anyone else and that no matter what color our skin, what God we worshipped, what gender we were, where we came from, or what language we spoke, we all deserved the opportunity to succeed and be happy. We were taught to work hard, respect others, and live by the golden rule. “Care, share, and be fair” was a family motto.

The last few weeks have been tragic for humans. Not only is the world struggling to survive a pandemic with Covid-19, but the death of an unarmed Black man, George Floyd, by an officer sworn to protect and serve us, has struck a deep wound in our global consciousness. Our hearts go out to his family and friends and to all the other people who have endured racist encounters. Fear and pain are prevailing. There is no place for racism and bigotry in our country. We are all human.

Here at Be the Star You Are!®, we are color blind. We welcome everyone-black, brown, yellow, beige, white, and any color in between. Be the Star You Are!® supports all ethnicity’s, genders, cultures, and has no religious or political agendas or affiliations. Our goal is to amplify your inner greatness and help you be the best person possible by improving literacy, increasing positive media messages, and offering tools for living a purposeful life.

Protesting is our right as Americans and peaceful protests are valuable. Looting and rioting is counter-productive and only leads to more violence, hatred, and alienation. It is time that we all stopped to listen and hear what others are saying and feeling. We must empathize and start conversations that can lead to healing. I have always believed that ALL LIVES MATTER. But right now, we need to embrace BLACK LIVES MATTER because black men and black women are suffering deeply. Our volunteer Karen Kitchel, shared a video that you may have already watched, but it is worth viewing again. It displays the disparity between a life of privilege and one of racial inequality. Watch it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BEwiqrXrjw

No one must be shackled. It’s time to break down the walls of differences. We must come together to create positive, systemic change that will provide dignity, respect, opportunities, and resources to all. We can each be a catalyst for change.

Once we learn to communicate and collaborate, we will escape to innovate.

Be the Star You Are!® is proud to have been serving the community, country, and world since 1999 with resources to create a better future.

Become color blind. We all bleed red.

Stay safe. Stay strong.

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PO Box 376

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THE REAL MEANING OF DIGNITY

by Karen Kitchel

“Dignity has the potential to change the world, but only if people like you help to spread its profound message” concluded Donna Hicks in the Psychology Today article “What Is the Real Meaning of Dignity?”

We are all born with dignity, which is different than respect which must be earned. Every individual has worth as a human being and wants to be treated as someone with value.

Everyone wants to be heard and to feel safe in the world. When we feel included, we gain a sense of hope and possibility. Receiving an apology when someone does us harm is a way to reconnect. “I’m sorry” can be two of the most powerful words anyone can utter.

Building strong relationships can be as easy as asking for opinions, listening to concerns and including others in conversations. Seek out someone you don’t know and take a step in changing the world.

Karen Kitchel penned two chapters in the book, Be the Star You Are! Millennials to Boomers Celebrating Gifts of Positive Voices in a Changing Digital World, and is a dedicated volunteer with BTSYA. She serves meals to the homeless and is a volunteer teacher, writer, job coach, and mentor. www.scatteringkindness.com

THE IMPACT OF ILLITERACY-Young Children

by Stephanie Cogeos

According to a recent study by the U.S. Department of Education, 32 million American adults are illiterate, 21% read below a 5th grade level and 19% of high school graduates are functionally illiterate, meaning they cannot read well enough to manage and perform daily living tasks. This can be avoided when people are aware of these statistics and what lack of literacy skills can cause.

When children do not learn to read and write effectively, it affects them and their families. The psychological effect impacts their progress during their early school years. It can also make math and science just as difficult. About 80% of a child’s brain is developed by age 3 and a key period of development occurs in their language and literacy skills. The quality of early childhood education can be determined by one’s economic status. Half of all children by age 5 living in poverty are not academically or socially ready for school, studies have shown (Center on Children and Families at Brookings). Poverty is a risk factor for illiteracy. By fourth grade, 80% of low-income children read at below grade level. Falling behind during critical years will also affect social skills, health and economic status later in their lives. Low literacy often impacts a person’s health, preventative healthcare actions and taking medications correctly as well as impacting them psychologically. Shame, fear, low self-confidence, low self-esteem are all impacted by how well a person can effectively communicate and read and educate themselves. All these things can have a negative impact on society in general. These things can be avoided.

CONTINUE READING: https://files.secure.website/wscfus/10307163/26270304/the-impact-of-illiteracy.pdf

Volunteer Stephanie Cogeos is our Book Review coordinator. She is now doing research to provide resources for the public to learn about the importance of literacy, positive media messages, and empowering women families, and youth. You can keep up with the resources at this link: http://www.btsya.com/resources.html

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Read book reviews by our volunteers: http://www.btsya.com/book_reviews.html

Also, check out these and other reviews at our literacy partner site,The Reading Tub, https://thereadingtub.org/books/be-the-star-you-are/

Librarians, teachers, parents, and care-givers rely on these reviews as excellent sources for recommending a good book.

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3. Giving Assistant: Shop. Earn. Give! Use Giving Assistant to earn cash at 3500+ popular online stores, then donate a percentage to BTSYA:https://givingassistant.org/np#be-the-star-you-are-inc

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goddessgardener · 4 years

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Become Color BRAVE

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Become Color Blind

MIRACLE MOMENT®

“When ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”

Anais Nin

MESSAGE FROM CYNTHIA BRIAN, Founder/Executive Director

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BEwiqrXrjw

Once we learn to communicate and collaborate, we will escape to innovate.

Be the Star You Are!® is proud to have been serving the community, country, and world since 1999 with resources to create a better future.

Become color blind. We all bleed red.

Stay safe. Stay strong.

In solidarity,

Cynthia Brian

Founder/Executive Director

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556

[email protected]

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

ONLINE AUCTION

THE REAL MEANING OF DIGNITY

by Karen Kitchel

We are all born with dignity, which is different than respect which must be earned. Every individual has worth as a human being and wants to be treated as someone with value.

THE IMPACT OF ILLITERACY-Young Children

by Stephanie Cogeos

CONTINUE READING: https://files.secure.website/wscfus/10307163/26270304/the-impact-of-illiteracy.pdf

"To be a leader, you must be a reader! Read, lead, succeed!"

BOOK REVIEWS IDS

Our Star Teen Book Review Team is constantly growing and evolving. When you are looking a for a great book, check out the reviews of thousands of books for all ages at our Book Review web site.

Read book reviews by our volunteers: http://www.btsya.com/book_reviews.html

Also, check out these and other reviews at our literacy partner site,The Reading Tub, https://thereadingtub.org/books/be-the-star-you-are/

Librarians, teachers, parents, and care-givers rely on these reviews as excellent sources for recommending a good book.

WRITER WEDNESDAYS and SUPER SMART SUNDAYS

Both programs broadcast on the Voice America Network, Empowerment Channel and will be archived on that site as well as iTunes, Stitcher, etc. It’s a giant artistic festival!

DONATE TO OPERATION DISASTER RELIEF TO KEEP POSITIVE MEDIA ALIVE!

NEED A POSITIVE OUTLOOK-BUY OUR BOOKS!

Raise your eyes to the STARS and shine!

SHOP ONLINE WITHOUT A MASK!

1. AmazonSmile donates .5% of purchases https://smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882

2. Discounted books at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shops/be_the_star_you_are_charity

3. Giving Assistant: Shop. Earn. Give! Use Giving Assistant to earn cash at 3500+ popular online stores, then donate a percentage to BTSYA:https://givingassistant.org/np#be-the-star-you-are-inc

& buy from your favorite stores.

4. Search and GoodShop: Choose Be the Star You Are as your charity to support. You can log in with Facebook, too! https://www.goodshop.com/nonprofit/be-the-star-you-are

5. Shop at over 1300 stores on IGIVE: http://www.iGive.com/BTSYA

6. BTSYA Logo Store: http://btsya.rylees.net

7. Buy or Sell on EBAY:http://givingworks.ebay.com/charity-auctions/charity/be-the-star-you-are-501-c-3/1504/?favorite=link

8. Designer Clothes to Buy or Sell: https://www.unionandfifth.com/charities/be-the-star-you-are-moraga-ca/shop

9. Buy “Read, Lead, Succeed” T-shirts and tanks $19.99 at StarStyle® Store: http://www.starstylestore.net/

10. Are you a gamer, lover of new software, or other digital content? Buy all of your favorites at Humble Bundle. http://ow.ly/cYs130iN6n4

PLEASE DONATE!

Checks can be sent to PO Box 376, Moraga, California 94556

http://www.btsya.org

Direct Links you can use for Be the Star You Are!®

Positive Results: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/positive-results

About Us: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/about_us

Programs: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/programs

How to Help: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/how-to-help

Blog: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/blog-1

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feral-space-faerie · 7 years

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Maiden, Crone, and when the Mother doesn't matter

To start off this post, I think it's important to say that many aspects go into the paths of everyone. Some people may not have the same aspects included in their path, but that doesn't mean that they don't have a place. Many things have driven my path away from the standard/common ones, and at times it can make things incredibly lonely. It can also make my path the subject of judgment in spaces where multiple paths are supposed to be safe. But I have not, and will not let it stop me from living my life.

No matter your Pagan background, most of us are familiar with the feminine 3 of Maiden, mother, and crone. Mostly used by wiccans, eclectics , and neopagans, but of course numerous other sections of pagans and witches use this. To the point where if your on a public forum it can be hard to escape from this phrase.

I'll be blunt, the mother isn't in my path. Not in the slightest.

I've had people, for the most part men and older women, tell me I wasn't a pagan because of this, because paganism is a "fertility based faith", and because of that suppose it fact it drove the spirituality behind it. Of course, I disagree with that.

I am childfree. The reality of my life in situation is that I'm glad my ankles will never swell, my boobs won't swell up and then sag, I won't balloon and be miserable for nine months, and then spend 18 years with someone constantly needing me, or potentially hating me, and I'll never be or feel obligated to associate with "that" Facebook mom who annoys literally everyone on the planet, even other mothers, with her constant pictures of how beautiful her baby is, how much they love their child, how their life was nothing before their child, Etc. I worked two years and a daycare center, and through most of my teen years babysat. Before I did that I knew I didn't want to have children, I knew that definitely when I was 12. And then after those experiences I realized that I didn't want to do either of those things ever again. I do not have, or live with children, and I haven't for about 4 years now and I absolutely love it.

The childfree choice was one that I had made many years ago, however, it wasn't always a steady decision. However, when the decision changed, it wasn't my own. I had no control. I was in a relationship for six and a half years, and lived through lots of domestic abuse of varying types. For instance, during those 6 years there were two times when I was 95% sure that I was pregnant. And I got horribly sick both times, but was refused medical treatment from both my partner and my partner's family because I was "just sick with a bad flu" and would "snap out of it in no time". Both times I took pregnancy tests and was pregnant. My partner wanted to have children but no I didn't, and I believe that that was why he would never take me to the doctor. He was the only one with a car. And if I argued about wanting children he would threaten to tell everybody that I was pregnant, because supposedly I needed to know how they felt about the subject before I could decide what I wanted to do with my life. During the last two years of that time I got pregnant again. And I terminated that pregnancy. The reason being, I got myself to the ER. I've been pregnant for about two months, and two ultrasound methods couldn't see the fetus, I was told it was very likely that if I kept it it would have made your birth defects, it wasn't growing, I was unable to eat, drink, be hydrated in any way except for being hooked up in the hospital room, in short it was extremely problematic. Not only all of this, but I did not want to have his child, for most of our relationship I resented any intimacy from him. I had extreme anxiety and self hatred and disgust daily until I was able to formally terminate the pregnancy. I've never felt so relieved in my life when it was over.

After all that I saw doctor again who basically said, " your body doesn't do its job properly, we don't know why. We're surprised you became pregnant in the first place considering everything. It's highly unlikely that you'll ever be able to become pregnant again."

Yes, I am childfree, by choice. But that was something that still stung. When you go through life not wanting to be a parent and being told that you'll change your mind, you'll meet someone who makes you want to have children, develop maternal instincts eventually, and then all of a sudden you have somebody telling you that you can't... It still feels like somebody else is trying to make your choice for you or trying to convince you to sway one way or the other. And it's a hard thing to go through regardless because either way you feel like an outsider and that something is wrong with you, because it isn't the majority's opinion.

On a side note before we continue, childfree does not equal childless. However both terms technically fit my experience at this point.

Another thing that affected my choice to be childfree was the fact that I am a part of the lgbtqia+ community. This has also affected my place in paganism, because people like to think in Polar Opposites. Man and woman, sun and moon, everything is binary and gendered, and focused on the cycle of life. People like to tell me that my asexuality is against nature, and that I'm simply ignoring my urges. Ignoring urges and not having sexual intercourse is celibacy, not a sexuality. Celibates choose this life, I did not. On the asexual Spectrum I fall under something called acosexuality, which by definition is someone who sexuality has been permanently affected or changed by past sexual abuse. I was asexual before the abuse, and after it changed me and pushed me even farther from what Society demanded I be.

Back to the binary, man-woman thing, I get it, some people believe that there's only two genders. I do not. Regardless of what I believe, I'm gender-fluid. And I'm only fluid by the standard two genders that most people recognize. So either way it doesn't matter. Essentially I don't feel like a woman a lot of the time, at least not a standard woman. Which in part could be related to why I don't want children, however I don't think that really matters.

I've been told by pagans and non pagans alike that I would change my mind, that I would die sad and alone, that I was selfish, that I was a useless woman, and that I had nothing to live for.

I live for me, I live for my partner whom I love. As far as selfishness goes if you ask anyone who's wanted to be a parent their first words usually are "I wanted". Being self-aware at a young age for what I want out of life isn't selfish, if anything it's selfless to consider it ahead of time, and before it's too late. I see it this way, think about all the people who shouldn't breed but I've done it anyway, and ruin the lives of the children in the process? I refuse to be one of them. I don't particularly like children, even the well-behaved ones. Yes some children are cute. Most of the time they're known to make me feel irrationally angry a lot of the time anyway. There's many other things to do with my life besides dropping my dreams and goals just to create spawn, writing novels, learning languages, engaging in art and music, traveling the world, there's too many other engaging in fulfilling options in life to the point where it shouldn't be assumed that I want or need to have a traditional family. I'd rather do something I love and I'm good at. I would completely resent myself and my children for the rest of my existence. If I decided I wanted to have children because I might simply regret it or be alone on my deathbed, then I'd only be choosing that choice out of fear and not love, and as rational people understand, that's no way to make huge life decisions. I could regret having kids as much as I could regret not having them. Regretting the existence of children after having them outweighs the potential small regret from not having them, in my opinion because then it would be their lives that I was still responsible for.

There's other reasons that I don't want to have children, I don't owe you any of these reasons but I'm offering them anyway because I know that some of you will still disagree with me. But my mental health has been in a horrible State most of my life. I'm simply mentally ill most of the time my brain gets sick very easy and I don't think that's a good thing to have going on all of the time when you have children, not to mention my partner also deals with mental health issues. Aside from the fact the cost of raising children in the state of my generation isn't something that makes me think that this is a good place for a family. How does paganism truly fit into all of this? Do I still have a pagan family? Do I have a family at all?

When I was told that I would probably never have children I did get depressed for a while, simply because it was no longer my choice. Paganism and spirituality helped me accept that. Most of my path focuses on ancestral practices and worship, and Family Focus. My path is still beautiful, and I'm still a useful human, because my fertility is not who I am. I am a Divine being in my own right, and deserve the same respect as anyone who chooses to live the life of a parent, because being a parent or not being a parent doesn't give anyone leverage over the other in life. They're simply different Lifestyles, and I believe that both should be celebrated, not judged or attacked by others.

If I wanted to be judged or attacked by the opinions of others I would have remained where I was, going through the motions and pretending that I like the life I lived, that I liked pretending that I believed in the Christian God, pretending that I liked the abusive relationship I was in, pretending that everything was fine when it wasn't, pretending to be somebody I didn't even know. I left all of that behind, and I won't let anyone drag me through the mud over making my life better for myself. Self improvement is important, and even though the way I improve myself isn't the same way as others, it's still a good way. A way that works for me better thananything else has.

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istjproblems · 7 years

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like any good INTJ, my biggest weakness is that I struggle to let go of my visions that I so singlemindedly follow even when things go wrong. like a career plan that I eventually realize I don’t want, but I wouldn’t (didn’t) tell anyone that until I had another plan in place. or ill fated romantic interests when I was younger. or a writing project that ends up sucking but I feel like I’ve invested too much in it to let it go. or whatever it is you’re doing when someone interrupts you. actually maybe the real issue isn’t letting go of a vision, it’s letting go of the need to make all the time and effort you’ve used count for something. and the struggle lasts as long as you keep telling yourself that maybe you can still make this work, salvage your art, justify your opinion. but in most situations, or at least most situations I’ve seen, once you realize it’s time to move on, everything finally falls into place. you’re free to live honestly without answering to the less informed demands of your younger self. you stop feeling the need to perform in a role you created just because you created it. you can do things like gradually overhaul your sideblog because surprise, you’re definitely an ISTJ.

I spent at least an hour going over function masterposts this afternoon in a final attempt to confirm my rapidly growing suspicions. but they were only really suspicions until a couple days ago. somehow all the evidence came together and turned that nagging voice of self doubt into an immovable conviction. there are a few things about me that appear to be very characteristic of dominant Ni. but all of them are a lot easier to explain away than my apparent Si traits. and this time I don’t feel like I’m explaining anything away at all. everything makes so much more sense now. I’m tired of feeling like I have to explain anything away. and for once in my life, this isn’t coming from a place of low self confidence.

my relationship with instrumental music has been an interesting factor in all of this. as a career goal, it is absolutely terrible for job security, you have to be very adaptable, you never know if you’ll ever even make a living with it, and for me it’s going to involve living on my own in a new city. none of those things are remotely ISTJ on their own, save our characteristic stubbornness. on top of that, instrumental music itself is the most abstract of the arts, and I love it for that reason. partially because I can associate it with whatever I want and never have to explain myself, and also because of its potential for subliminal influence. but I’ve never been the kind of person who worships music as if it were a mystical entity, in fact those people always got a little on my nerves. like most non-serious issues that I have (what I thought were Ni related) theories about, I’ve had a lot of internal debate and come to the conclusion that 1. it’s not that deep, and 2. that’s fine.

the other weird factor is, predictably, the religious aspect. I am very skeptical by nature but I hope I never leave my faith. identifying myself with the least religious type explained my skepticism, and it was extremely encouraging to see other Christian INTJs beat the odds. identifying myself as the most stereotypically religious type kind of puts me at risk of “well, it’s easy for you to believe what you do because you don’t want to change,” and I hate that. it hasn’t been that simple. I’ve considered all kinds of perspectives. I don’t ever want to believe something just because a church leader tells me to. I respect people’s interest in post-Biblical church tradition but it’s not important to me personally (I mean, come on, I was raised by ExxPs). I have a fatal attraction to being the smartest person in the room, and if your opinions are a popular target for skepticism, you either get hyper prepared for debate, look like an idiot, cede ground, or stay out of it. depending on the issue I usually do some combination of the above. if I had been born in a small town where everyone was of the same denomination, none of this might have been an issue. if I had been born into a mostly atheist family and community, this would also be a non issue, but for the opposite reasons. I’m extremely grateful that God put me where I am and I feel like I dodged a bullet that I didn’t deserve to dodge. which sounds weirdly like theology, actually.

you know, going back to the raised by ExxPs thing, one of the things that prevented me from realizing my type for so long is that I put so much personal value on new experiences. but watching my own life I can clearly see the difference between a value and a thought process. I want to travel the world, but I want to come back from each new place knowing what song I listened to as the plane was taking off, find restaurants that serve the one thing I never thought I’d find in America, and make a facebook photo album six months later that conveys exactly the kind of story I want to tell. I want to go to a different restaurant every time I see my friends who I always eat out with because we’ve never been to the same place twice. I want to listen to a new genre of music, so I’ll pick one band that connects it to what I already listen to, get to know one of their albums very well, and then ask for more recommendations at the same time next year.

for the record, I don’t take back my old INTJ memes. I feel like they’re the result of a long and elaborate method acting project and therefore not automatically inaccurate. and damn it, I put effort into them.

#istj

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artistclock · 3 years

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WHEN IT WILL BE ME?

By: Cherry Mae Parohinog

Be the best or be nothing at all. Remember that no one remembers the second best or the rest for that matter. Aim for the top place. Always.

I had it in my head that individuals were constantly looking for attention and a good reputation. We lived for their compliments. Who doesn't like to be complimented? One positive word from you, they can live for a day. One positive sentence forms you, then they can build an altar and worship you. They can even kiss your feet.

"Our school's pride! Let us give Mr. Merritt a standing ovation! The well-known art competition was held in Manila. And, of course, congrats to Ms. Hernandez on her second-place finish. Thank you very much! Mr. Merritt, top one!”

Roaring applause was given by the crowd to us and especially to him. I don’t know if it’s because he’s drop-dead gorgeous or because he won. I bet my life, it’s the former.

When my name was called, I couldn't help but notice the host's low tone. See, second place means nothing. I also stood up and clapped. I didn't clap because I wanted to; I clapped because it was my initial inclination, and it was required by the program. And I should, because I'm one of the winners!

“Congratulations, Ms. Hernandez. Your arts are good and getting better.” The host mumbled to me and smiled with her lips pursed.

Comparative versus superlative adjective, I see.

Her words could no longer be heard due to the great weakness of her voice and the crowd’s loudness. I accept her compliment with a nod of my head. It would have been lovely to hear her praises, but they didn't last long in my ears. Her words sound rehearsed.

“Thank you, Ma’am.” I return the smile she gave to me.

Another medal and trophy to be cover with dust.

James Austin Merritt, the winner, in his custom-tailored tux from the back of the host, sashaying his way to us. His chiseled arms are highlighted by his serge coat. His tousled hair, crimson lips, flushed cheeks, and metal timepiece. His deportment now matched his brusqueness and arrogance so well. He looks expensive and extremely confident.

“I know I mentioned it before, but let me congratulate you again,” he says as he clears his throat. “Congratulations, Ms. Olivia,” He's in top form, with his cheeky smile on his face, and his right palms outstretched in front of me, indicating that I should take it.

This is the type of guy I should avoid.

“You, too, Mr. Merritt. You brought the school’s name again. I’m so honored to join you in that dazzling journey we had in Manila. You’re the best companion.” I clasped his hand in mine and smiled at him.

The words taste so wrong on my tongue. I can even taste the bitterness.

“You two did an outstanding job. And this handsome prodigy, oh, darling, make us prouder,” the host taps his right cheek. She has the look of a proud mother. I almost puked when I saw how sweet it was.

He turns his face toward me, allowing me to get a good look at his aristocratic features. “Not at all, Ma'am. Olivia is here, and she is the best at everything. As with anything! Did you happen to notice what she used in the competition? She used oil paint as well as poster paint! The beauty of her artwork is breathtaking! I'm lost for words to describe how stunning and talented she is. I was startled and mesmerized as I stared at her. I-I'm referring to her painting,” His prominent cheekbones turning a slight shade of red.

I stifle a little chuckle. I'd like to believe him. His comments, despite the oozing tone of sarcasm and stupidity, ring true in my ears. I only hope Mrs. Ronald, the host, agrees with us, although I doubt it. Her sour expression tells me so.

My hands are itching to hit him - no, beat him! Hmm… maybe later, Mr. Merritt.

“What exactly are you saying, Mr. Merritt? You won, which implies you're the best. What would happen to our department if you weren't there? A strong and confident man. Your artistic prowess is out of this world,” she shook her head, wanting to put a stop to the conversation.

Mrs. Roland may believe that a man has all the power, but this is not the case. I wholeheartedly disagree. I believe that women can accomplish just as much as men.

It appears to me that I am not as important as him and that I was only placed there to fill the gap. My achievement and trophy mean nothing to them.

“No, no, Ma’am. She’s also a winner in the competition too. I was so amazed at how good she was that I was ready to go home crying that day,” He shoves his hands in his pockets and glances over me. His left dimples popping out.

“Alright, Austin, if you say so. I'll leave you two alone now. I’ll just talk to someone on the other side.” She gracefully turns her back on us. Her sour expression remained.

“What was the point of that?” You want to court me?” My arms are folded on my chest.

His mouth fell open, and his brown eyes were as large as saucers and almost out of their sockets. He has a peculiar appearance. I nearly roll on the carpet!

“No. Never, Miss, but you can thank me though. And then I'll say, 'Welcome, Olivia.' How does that sound?”

I groan. As I looked at him, I wondered how someone could be so dumb.

“I appreciate your kind words, Mister. Hearing that made my day.” I mock him by pressing my palm to my chest and bowing slightly.

He mumbles an expletive under his breath. “Stop dissing me, please. The competition ended well and unbiasedly. And are we already friends, or am I imagining things? But for me, we’re already friends. We can help each other. We can also create beautiful artwork. What do you think?” He wiggles his eyebrow. As a result, he is quite attractive; otherwise, he would resemble Mr. Bean.

“No, we're not friends, and we never will be. Well, unless you are the firm believer of ‘keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer, then we can be friends,” I shrug my shoulder acting as a cool kid. I just need myself and no more.

His stares are so intense that I almost cringe.

“If that’s what you want, then fine. We’re enemies now.”

Perhaps it is true that when the universe aligns, there is a force that allows two opposing things to become one.

I let him see every inch of my heart.

On the floor was a jumble of canvases, paintbrushes, and paint colors. Images of hazy landscape sceneries, abstract paintings, and random people's portraits are hung, while some are simply lying against the wall. I watched him in the corner as he was serious about what he was doing. It’s like he’s the only one in the room and his painting is the most important thing in the world. His hand seems to be dancing to a rhythm that only he can hear. The veins in his arms protruded when the paintbrush kissed the canvas. His brow wrinkled and his crimson lips parted slightly. It's amazing to look at him in such a way that you wouldn't believe he's puerile and truant.

Let’s make art together. No rivalry between us.

His words break the high sturdy wall I built for anyone to protect myself.

“I'm hungry,” I said, although I'm not. All I want is for him to pay attention to me as well.

“Then, eat. I don't have your mouth,” he says. He didn't even look at me. He's really serious about what he's doing.

“You’re arts is romantically beautiful, Austin. It never fails to amaze me. I want to make you a statue,”

“Really? That's very thoughtful of you, Olivia. Thank you for your backhanded compliments. It's much appreciated. And I think... I'm going to cry. Could you please hand me a tissue?” He retorted.

Oh, God! Give me more patience.

Dropping my head back against my chair and dragging my breath through my nose. I prop my right elbow on the armrest and lean my head against my hand.

“Have you read what was posted in the bulletin? They’ll have competition again. Maybe you'd like to join?” Now he's focused on me and telling me something else. His words were vague in my ears. In a trance, I'm staring at a line of ants scurrying around the wall. What if I lose once more? A second-place finisher again? I don't want to lose. For once, I'd want to be on top. No, I always want to be at the top. No one but myself! The best of the rest!

I'm a sad little girl who craves attention and longs to escape reality. My anxiety began to attack.

I recall my father yelling at me, "I won't look at your trashy trophy, and I'm not proud!" He claimed that painting is not a career and that I cannot earn a living from it. The benefit here is that dad let me choose the course I wanted, which is why I chose fine arts, but how could this freedom feel so lonely?

He spews his venom at me for not being the best. I held my tongue and waited until he was satisfied with the damage. I can't blame him; he's one of the most competitive people I've ever met. He was distraught. It’s like I’m trying to hold hot water in my bare hands. So cruel. He has such a terrible opinion of me. I value the arts in all of their forms.

I believe in the power of words and their ability to affect people. They have the power to make or break you. They can even kill you.

“You’re worthless! You deserved everything bad that happened to you! All the hate! Why won’t you just die?!” I screamed as I stood in front of the mirror, pointing to myself.

And he made me feel unloved and unworthy.

I was immersed in thought when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

He looks at me as if he’s reading my mind and my soul, “Hey, I got you now. You’re doing your absolute best. Stop trying to control everything around you. Stop it. Stop thinking about the outcome of every situation, just enjoy the moment. Don’t be hard on yourself, Olivia.” His tone is gentle.

“If everyone turns their back on you, then look at me. I’m your number one fan, remember? I hope that’s enough.” He mumbled.

In response, I gave him my genuine smile.

People have asked me if I’m okay with placing second or third, and I’ve always said yes. That's the response they're looking for. They don't care about me. They simply want to pique their interest. That's all there is to it. That's why, in the end, you're the only one left in the dark, bruised, and defeated. You didn't get the kind of attention you were hoping for. Who would want to hear from someone like me? Nobody knows who I am. This is how the world works

Jesus! I sound like a petulant child.

The afternoon zephyr gently ruffled my hair a little. I'm seated in my school uniform on the far side of the school's reading sanctuary section's concrete gazebo, surrounded by trees whose leaves are already falling and scattering on the sidewalk. It's a peaceful spot. The sound of the page of the book I’ am reading hurt the silence of the surroundings.

It tells the story of a wise man who can't seem to find himself. He was enslaved to the standard that society and his family imposed on him. Because of his intelligence, he lacked a friend. His diary was his lone confidante. In this journal, he writes down all of his thoughts and the words that are stuck in his head.

Why do I have an affinity towards him? Perhaps because we are in a similar situation. I recognize myself in him and can relate to him. If he utilized a pen and paper to write down what was going through his mind. In turn, I used a paintbrush and a canvas to express my feelings and resentments in life.

I was so engrossed in my daydream that I didn't notice the mighty Austin lounging coolly against the jamb of the gazebo, hands in his pockets, and chewing his bubble gum, which he even inflated and chewed again. Yes, he is sometimes gross. He chuckles awkwardly at me and takes the chocolate cupcake from his pocket. He uses his teeth to peel it off.

“I wish you a very happy birthday, Olivia. And I'm sorry I won't be singing you a happy birthday song. Now, Olivia, make a wish.”

I lock my gaze on him. I consider myself extremely blessed to have him. I close my eyes and whisper to the wind.

“Break those shackles, and watch me fly.”

My room opens with a loud bang, waking me up. I could see his familiar shape in my hazy eyes.

“Join the contest and show me what you've got.” He spoke it loudly and authoritatively. My father's actions surprised me. Isn't that the truth? I heard it very clear. My nails dug into the palms of my hands so deeply.

Take the risk or lose the chance. I'd go with the former, despite my reservations.

I shield my face from the light with my right hand. He, too, squints from the sun. I'm not sure why we decided to go for a walk in the middle of the day. I'm perspiring, and his neck is flushed. He unlocked the door for me when we arrived at the school's art studio. The door is excessively large and heavy. To open it, he must use all of his strength.

“How come this old door won't let a handsome man like me in? If this door is a woman, I'd say she's just trying to get my attention.” He winks at me as he turns to face me.

This man!

I take a seat next to him and maintain a comfortable distance between us. We're currently practicing. The crickets could be heard all around us.

To be honest, I had lost track of what made me happy. I've run out of ideas, motivation, and energy. I didn't have anything to look forward to. I close my eyes tightly.

“Yes, you’re doing it right. Stroke it slowly. Don’t get frustrated,”

“Everything is mediocre,” I scream, hurling the paintbrush. He took it and returned it to me.

“Slow progress is better than no progress at all, Olivia,”

“Easy for you to say. You’re famous. You’re so good. No, you’re the best! The greatest! Everyone loves you. And me, I’ am no one. A good-for-nothing daughter. Tell me… when it will be me?”

He blinks several times. Because of his heavy breathing, I notice his shoulders bouncing up. He's chewing his lower lip. In his eyes, I can feel his exasperation and sorrow. He reaches for my face and gently caresses my cheek.

“You know what, I think I should call it quits. My dreams are shattered all around me. From the start, everything is wrong. I can't function properly,” I grumble. I'm furious at myself.

I'm losing control of everything. I'm losing interest in things that used to excite me. It’s like I'm no longer a part of anything. My cheeks are flushed with tears.

“If that’s wrong, then I don’t want to be right. And don’t compare your artworks to mine, or everyone, that’s just deadly. Everyone has their uniqueness. You are your person,” he whispers.

Despite his words, I am still empty. I'm desperate to get this emotion out of my system.

“It isn't that simple.”

The opinions of those around us have an impact on how we perceive ourselves. Austin, on the other hand, is arrogant, harsh, and blunt, but he can be a dark knight in sparkling armor. He sees right through people. He lives his life to the fullest.

I stare out the window. The car was moving so fast that the trees we were passing through swiftly vanished from my vision. I'm leaning against to it. I believe we are all dissatisfied individuals. We wish for something that we don't have. We envy people and things in various ways and on various levels. We wish to be that person and live their life. We desire things to satisfy ourselves. People are usually asking for something good, yet they are frequently asking for something bad. We just don't notice it, or if we do, we're too afraid to acknowledge it. People are also cynical.

I'm extremely nervous right now. Inside, my toes wiggled into my shoes. I can even hear my heartbeat in my ears and a strong throb against my skull. I'm feeling nauseous. My heartbeat quickened as fear swelled in my chest. Austin, on the other hand, appears to be a lost child at the playground. His eyes are shining with enthusiasm.

Today is the competition day. I used to think of him as my enemy, my tough opponent. But suddenly things are different.

“I'm drowning in anxiety and fear. Who wants to swim with me?” I asked him. We were in the park at the time. I'm sitting on the concrete bench, watching the kids play.

“Me. I can even bring some colorful floaters. You want that?” he answered me while licking his lollipop.

I lift my eyes and stare at him. He was looking at a large artwork in front of us, arms akimbo. He has a carefree smile on his face.

“This is it! The world has to be ready. We are here now, ready to conquer them,” He has a devilish grin on his face.

"Don't live too much in our head, Olivia. This time you are not alone,” He added, and continued watching the artwork, "I will not allow you."

The overthinking sucks that drove me to do some irrational things, as well as my anxiety, which accompanies me around and feeds my fear, are still here. Now all I have to do is revalue myself to forgive and love myself better. I'm going to improve with time.

And he’s with me now. We are here now. This is our now. This is the reality.

“And Olivia, it’s always been you.”

#creativewriters #creative writing #creativestory #artistry #short story #writing #words words words #when will it be my turn

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