#internet grooming

[roomstudent]

#parenting #internet safety #online safety #cyberbullying #child safety #digital parenting #online gaming #internet grooming #protecting children #family safety #child development #online security #digital literacy #cyber safety #parental controls #online behavior #internet education #digital citizenship #online privacy #parenting tips

[sweaty-confetti]

if i have to see someone use the word “grooming” one more time in an incorrect way i’m going to start throwing things. like YES this person had an inappropriate relationship with this other person. YES this person was abusive and manipulative. YES this person seemed creepily obsessed with this other person. etc etc etc. but that doesn’t automatically equal grooming !!! abuse isn’t necessarily grooming, stalking isn’t necessarily grooming, even pedophilia isn’t necessary grooming ! grooming refers to a SPECIFIC PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR that predatory adults will use on children before actually abusing them in order to normalize and suppress the abuse beforehand! it’s specifically nonviolent and is used to make the predator harder to get caught, to get the victim to trust and fear them, and to normalize said inappropriate behavior before it actually happens. i cannot fucking stand what the internet has done to this term. if you’re talking about domestic abuse, use the word domestic abuse. if you’re talking about rape, use the word rape. if you’re talking about stalking, use the word stalking. if you’re talking about straight up pedophilia, use that word. this is one of those words i’m putting on the shelf until the internet knows how to use it properly

#emo moss talks #grooming #internet

[longing-for-rain]

You know what I think a lot of people don’t realize about grooming is that, the person will almost always start pushing your boundaries in little, non-sexual ways.

For example, one big thing a person who groomed me did was joke about killing and eating my dog. She knew I love my dogs like they’re my children, and I’d told her those “jokes” made me uncomfortable. But she kept doing it. The same joke over and over again; it wasn’t even funny (“I believe all god’s creatures have a place…next to the potatoes”). At first I pushed back, but then it got to a point where I got tired of resisting and treated like I was stiff and couldn’t take a joke. So I relented on that boundary.

That alone might seem insignificant and dumb, but with groomers, as soon as they break down one boundary they’ll immediately start trying to break down another. And each little one they break, the more they get you used to letting them violate you to the point where you’re afraid to speak up against the bigger things.

So especially if you’re a younger person on the internet, never ignore when someone is making you uncomfortable especially if they’re much older. Even if it seems like a silly, insignificant thing. They know what they’re doing, and it’s important to stay safe.

#this is one thing I’m exploring in my non fiction project #internet culture #safety #grooming #fandom toxicity #feminism

[catgirl-catboy]

Antis talk about groomers a lot (as they should! Online grooming is a serious issue.)

But I rarely see young antis practicing internet safety that helps them avoid groomers. Internet security is my livelihood, so it really worries me.

Here are some tips to avoid groomers on the internet.

First off "Groomers DNI" or "Adults DNI" doesn't help. You are welcome to keep it in your DNI if you want, but the sort of people that respect that DNI are the sort of people that likely don't pose a threat to you anyway.

Never say your age. I'm serious. "Teenager" is as specific as you can get. "But then, how do you make friends your own age online?" you start talking to people, and you get an estimate about their age.

Never put your face online either. Not only can groomers and stalkers use it, your future boss might find it and link you back to this social media account.

Be vague about your location. If I know your timezone, and you tell me about the weather, I have a pretty good idea of where you live. Hell, actively lie about your timezone/location.

This is a helpful skill to learn, because some (not all, but enough that you need to be careful) of the people that have "15 y/o, above 18 DNI" are actually grown ass adults that will eventually coerce you into doing shit you aren't comfortable with.

If a place happens to be mostly teens, you are a-okay. If a place explicitly bans adults, run.

If someone is giving you a bad vibe for any reason, block them. "But give people the benefit of the doubt!" No. Not on the internet. I give a bad vibe? Prepare the block. Your intuition is a huge tool to keep you safe, don't doubt it.

Don't post pictures you took online. It isn't the content of the photo you should worry about, it's the data that comes with it. Most photos have locations attached.

Do mention parents/supportive adults in your life that care about you. If none exist, make some up. If it seems like you talk about your internet friends, you don't look like an easy target.

Say no to your internet friends on occasion. Watch their reactions. If someone begins to act controlling, thats a red flag.

#internet safety #internet security #groomers #grooming #privacy #antis

[shrimpmandan]

Also reminder to people (but ESPECIALLY kids) in fandom or online in general is like. You can just block people that make you uncomfortable and probably should. If you’re gonna come into my askbox and insinuate that I’m a pedophile then why on EARTH are you going out of your way to interact with me in that instance. Rule 0 of the internet should be to not try to contact people who think are predators. Even ignoring the fact that I’m just flatly not one it’s genuinely such a nonsensical behavior that shows a distinct lack of any kind of common sense or internet safety.

I got groomed. Don’t let yourself get groomed too. Y’all are fucking lucky that most of the people you’re directly contacting under the pretense of being “predatory” are just proshippers and kinksters, and not actual groomers and malicious persons who would gladly hear “I’m a minor” and take that as a sign that you’re 1) incredibly naive/gullible and 2) incredibly vulnerable.

#proship #pro ship #proshipping #pro shipping #anti anti #pro fic #profic #pro fiction #profiction #tw grooming #shipping discourse #fandom discourse #internet safety

[animaldamnation]

Fat men that mock and degrade fat women should be hunted for sport.

#radfem safe #radfems do touch #radfems please touch #radfems please interact #there's this weird subset of people who act like fat men are uwu Chubby Soft Beans and it's so hysterically funny to me #as someone that's lived with a verbally abusive unkempt fat man with anger management issues #and as someone that's known multiple geeky fat men over my life who had a visceral hatred of fat women #or geeky women that didn't fit societal beauty standards #even if those same women were still 200% more well-groomed and better looking than they were #you can't guilt-trip me into being sympathetic towards misogynistic fat men and i'm beyond giving a shit #stop showing up for men that will gleefully throw you under the bus in a split second #just because someone made fun of him on the internet or in high school #it won't stop him from hating your guts or treating you like a stepping stone when it's convenient

[dragonwysper]

Can. Can we talk about how fucking damaging internet trauma is, and how nobody fucking talks about it?

#like we all hear when someone famous grooms a minor #and we all collectively groan when jar guy is mentioned #and if you really get to talking with anybody who's been on the internet for a long time they'll tell you all about the fucked up shit- #-they've seen #but there's no big addressments or scientific studies or articles written about it #i have seen Two (2) artistic medias that actually fucking discuss it #one is bolavlk/wereawolf by sournoodl (short film) and the other is welcome to the internet by bo burnham (song) #both are incredibly good and hit so fucking hard #bolavlk made me spiral for a solid month from how fucking realistic it is #but yeah beyond that? nothing. we need to talk about the effect internet trauma has on you #tag rants #tag vent #traumadump #internet trauma #online grooming #grooming

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

Please report @/ssmore-wurst. They’re a minor putting themselves (and others) in serious danger. Their pinned post says they’re a minor seeking out adults to be with (“AAM4MAP”) and they’re pro-contact. It sickens me to see this, because it’s very clearly a child that has been groomed into thinking these things are okay, and one that will be traumatized from this shit when they’re older. Keeping them and kids like them off the platform will help prevent predators from contacting them.

@staff You seriously need to ban the radqueer tags, because this is what happens when you don’t. Kids are getting hurt. Children are being groomed.

#this is one of those rare cases where i think their parents absolutely do need to monitor their internet activity #unfortunately grooming is much more likely to happen to kids who’s parents don’t treat them like people #so i doubt their parents know or even care #anti radqueer #anti contact #tw grooming

[bredforloyalty]

honestly um ,. one part of me understands why those posts were made but, are these poser incest enthusiasts in the room with us now

#jcdrgcy #like where do you get these people from and are you sure they're real and it's not a misunderstanding #i do think it still doesn't get you clout and just because now a community exists in a form it didn't 3-4 years ago*‚ this doesn't make it #mainstream ahaha #*: this is just according to my observations like i'm sure there were communities at all times on the internet‚ somewhere‚ #of various sizes‚ many different ones of them‚ i meant the circle of 20smth mutuals we have now which isn't a circle because some bloggers #are just tangentially related or just in one fandom and it's debatable if it could even be called a community #i just know i didn't have so many friends who agreed with me and accepted me a few years ago and now a lot of us interact regularly #but i don't see how.. dead dove or grooming or necro or even the genuinely gothic or tragic would be. becoming cooler? #🤔 #idk enlighten me about what all of this means if you can and you want to #kata.txt

[black-salt-cage]

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

#💙 sugar life posting 🌙 #puppycore #dogcore #puppies #dogs #animals #pets #petcore #cutecore #animalcore #dogs of the internet #dogs of tumblr #gifsets #gifs #pet grooming #fur cutting #white #brown #gold #stimming #stimblr #stimmy #stim

[longing-for-rain]

“There’s no way that person could be a predator. They’re so kind and helpful and give so much to the community! You must just be lying to tear them down!”

Let me tell you about Mr. Larry, the old band director when I was in high school.

That’s not his real name, but you get the idea. Everyone loved Mr. Larry. He was that fun, quirky teacher that all the students loved. He talked about how much he loved his wife and showed the class pictures of his cats. He danced on a busy street corner dressed as a pizza slice to cheer on students doing the charity run. He was very understanding and easygoing and always took that extra step to help a student who was struggling.

But there were always rumors about Mr. Larry. A few girls over the years had reported inappropriate incidents with Mr. Larry. Nobody believed them. He was so nice and so charitable. How could Mr. Larry possibly be *that* type of person? He must not have meant what he did. Maybe those girls just misunderstood. Or maybe they were just lying.

There was no evidence, after all, so the rumors stayed rumors. It was easy to accept, that way. Nobody wanted to believe Mr. Larry was capable of such things. What they didn’t know was the story of the girl who deleted all of her texts with him because she was afraid she’d get in trouble if her parents saw them, or the girl who didn’t realize what she’d experienced was sexual abuse until it was too late.

Mr. Larry was the same way for years. Nobody believed the rumors until he was arrested and put on the sex offender registry after one girl finally managed to prove her abuse to authorities.

But do you think it ended there?

Even after Mr. Larry was found guilty, so many people refused to believe it. His coworkers, students, parents. Instead of accepting that predators are capable of hiding behind a kind and benevolent persona, they instead spun a narrative in which that teenage girl was purposely seducing Mr. Larry, that it wasn’t really his fault. They called his sexual assault and grooming of this girl a mistake and tried pinning the majority of the blame on her. Because Mr. Larry was just so good and nice. Someone like him could never be a predator.

There are a lot of Mr. Larrys out there. Mr. Larry could be a teacher, a coach, your coworker, your next door neighbor, anyone. On the internet—because this pattern is extremely common online too—Mr. Larry could manifest as that chill person in your DMs, your “fandom mom,” etc.

Don’t brush off a warning because someone was nice to you. Remember Mr. Larry. He got away with it for so long because he built himself the reputation of a kindly and generous father figure. But he knew exactly what he was doing. Don’t fall for it.

#tw grooming #internet safety #signal boost #tw sa #grooming #feminism #fandom culture

[benthamthesamoyed]

somewhere in the corner of the universe... sleeps a white bear

#dogblr #samoyed #dogs of the internet #dogs of tumblr #dog grooming

[wildflowercryptid]

something that's been weighing on my mind ever since learning about the situation with ezra / toonimal is seeing how these predators will take the active hostility that is frequently directed towards minors in online spaces to their advantage and use it to prey on vulnerable children. i think that we as adults in online fandom should probably come together and maybe rethink the language / manner we go about interacting with kids bc clearly the way things are rn is causing active harm.

like obviously, if you're an adult and aren't comfortable with minors interacting with you or your content, you should be allowed to set that boundary and should be vocal about it, ( especially if the content you create isn't safe for them to consume. ) but i don't think talking to them like they're a blight on all that is good and holy is the way to go about it. maybe just saying you're an 18 plus account will suffice, you don't have to tell them to fuck off.

#i'm opening myself up for ppl to leave the stupidest takes on this post but whatever i need to get this off my mind #before anyone says anything about the kids on that website. they're grooming victims. they're literally kids being taken advantage of #show them some fucking kindness and be understanding that they're the victims in this situation #idk what it is about becoming an adult that causes so many ppl to lose their empathy towards minors it's weird #like yeah kids can be annoying and pushy on online spaces sometimes but a lot of them are old enough to know online etiquette lbr #alot of us were annoying kids on the internet at some point we should understand that you don't just. get a handbook for how to act online #that's shit you learn overtime but ppl seem to forget that #they also seem to forget that talking down to kids isn't gonna teach them shit they're not gonna listen to you if you treat them like idiots #what i'm trying to say is that we really need to talk to minors more respectfully and maybe give them a little grace #( obviously there will be situations where some of them need to be yanked up by the collar but there's ways to go about that >>> #without treating them like shit ) #these kids need to know that there's spaces for them to be online safely without having to stumble into places that'll pray on them #we all know how much it sucked to be a kid online we should want better for the ones coming in after us ya know #sorry if this comes across as preachy it just breaks my heart and boils me blood to see kids being taken advantage of like this #especially when there's ways to prevent it idk #how do i even tag this.... #mj.txt #there's trigger warning on the linked post btw #tw csa mention

[sasiak-deku-scrub]

TW: Minors in danger, decieving, age faking, min0rs entering adult spaces.

Hi everyone, sorry for the negativity of this post, but this is an EXTREMELY important issue I need to address and it's about minors lying about their age online, and how dangerous that is.

Minors: DON'T LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE ONLINE. Don't you understand you're putting yourself in danger? You shouldn't be interacting with adults privately online AT ALL. No you're not "mature for your age" or "almost 18". You're still a kid, NOT an adult.

Like a year ago, a 15 year old (who was pretending to be 19) tried to contact me and a friend on Discord, and then asked me questions he shouldn't be asked by someone his age. I instantly told my friends who he really was, blocked him and reported him. I'M 22. Why tf did he ask me that shit.

Then, I saw a tweet of someone I follow about a 13 year old kid, asking him for a relationship and making inapropiate comments to him in DM.

I'm a victim of online grooming ( I was 14, and didn't fake my age btw), and seeing minors willingly putting themselves in danger makes me sick.

And that left me wondering; how common is this?

Please, If you suspect someone is a minor in an adult space, BLOCK and REPORT, as soon as posible.

This is the kid that tried to contact me and ask me innapropiate stuff I felt extremely unconfortable:

#internet safety #safety #Grooming prevention #Age faking #stop this please #The internet is not for kids #tw grooming #cw

[lucky-clover-gazette]

hi i would like to clarify that i am deeply uninterested in engaging with discourse drama about internet man dream, beyond what i say in this post. please stop sending me anonymous asks about it, thanks

#aka: keep your twitter bullshit away from me #a single quick google search can immediately weaken any strong conclusive claim that he is a groomer or whatever #i am just an observer of a fandom i’m not a part of and my observations have way more to do with the way this rpf seems different #and to be quite fucking honest from what i read when i looked it up #i believe that twitter who already despise this dude went on a hate campaign bc he did cringe flirting #with someone who explicitly identified herself as 18 #and was actually 17 #while he was 20 #i think if these people saw a real instance of grooming or abuse of power that’s not just talking to an internet celeb they’d pass out #i’m saying too much but girl help i have opinions #anyway leave me alone and get a hobby please thanks