#internet. much more if it's stuff that happened. 10 years ago or more

[eggsnatcheskneecaps]

BRO?

#I ALREADY KNEW MY PARENTS USED ME TO GAIN MEDIA ATTENTION WHEN I HAD L/Y/M/E #which for the record. i should really try to dig up articles where they were talking about me but it's harder to navigated the r/o/m/anian #internet. much more if it's stuff that happened. 10 years ago or more #but my sibling just fucking told me they stumbled upon an old article where they mention i have insomnia #AND I'M FUCKING LIVID? #MAYBE SOME OF IT WAS ACTUALLY RELATED TO L/Y/M/E #BUT IT'S SOMETHING I'VE STRUGGLED WITH UP UNTIL 8TH GRADE WHICH WAS LONG AFTER I WAS CURED. AND BEFORE THE DISEASE HAPPENED TOO #AND SO THEY KNEW I HAD INSOMNIA! THEY FUCKING KNEW I WAS STRUGGLING WITH IT! #AND YOU DARE TELL ME YOU DON'T FUCKING REMEMBER ME EVER ASKING FOR HELP REGARDING INSOMNIA WHEN I WAS A KID? YOU TALKED ABOUT ON FUCKING #TV? I STRUGGLED EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. I WOULD ALWAYS ASK YOU FOR FUCKING HELP AND YOU JUST MAGICALLY FORGET? #You never take my fucking medical issues seriously. you dismiss them or call them fake unless you can use it for profit i fucking guess. #yeah go ahead and tell me I'm pretending to have depression even with a diagnosis sure yeah go ahead and downplay my n/ys/ta/gmus #but then you fucking turn around and pretend for ages i have a talking impediments i don't actually fucking have. Those appointments were #fucking tiring. fuck #i thought for so long i had a talking impediment until my best friend told me (bewildered) that i fucking don't #what the fuck I'm so sick of this #what the hell. #egg.txt #tw abuse #i guess... #rant

[gothic-thoughts]

Slow on the Internet

(idek how i found this pic of him but im SO glad this shit exists😭)

(AGED UP) Yuji Itadori x Black Fem Reader Fluff

Streamer!Yuuji, Shy!Reader, RoommateAU, Friends2Lovers

CW: oblivious Yuuji 😭😭, yuuji talking to his twitch chat, reader speaks some Japanese 🤝🏾 Yuuji speaks some English, not proofread

Word Count: 1701

any Japanese is written in Romaji and confirmed by DeepL

It was 10 pm, Itadori was sitting in his gaming headphones on his stylish armchair, playing a popular game while Spotify was quietly playing a mellow song in the background.

"Guys, the stream's gonna be a little quiet, I don't want to wake my roommate."

Itadori tried not to make too much noise, talking quietly to his audience.

- Which one?

- Is it (Y/n)??

- Megumi or the American girl you brought on a while ago?

- The girl??

 "Yes, I’m talking about (Y/n). Megumi's out for the night. Uh, for those new to stream, a couple streams ago..." Yuuji laughs into his hand, "Like 3 streams ago, I forced my roommate, (Y/n), to make a... commentary vid with me."

- You should force her back fr 👀👀

- Bring her back, yall were cute

- You guys chemistry was adorable, u sure she's just a roomie??👀👀

He laughed at the comments, a little embarrassed at the idea of having chemistry with his roommate, but it was sweet of them to think that. He shook his head and laughed, trying to brush it off as a friendly relationship.

"Shut up, it’s a normal amount of chemistry! I like to think we have a cool dynamic.”

- UR TELLING ME U DON'T LIKE HER??

- denial isn’t healthy, Itadori

- but does she want to STAY ur friend??

It was flattering how invested they were in a relationship between him and (Y/n). He wasn't sure what his chat was implying, surely they were teasing him. There was a little part of him that liked and even agreed with his chat's implications. He was glad they were taking so much interest in his friendship with (Y/n). It was sweet.

"I- what are you guys saying?" He laughed nervously, his cheeks red.

- THAT SHE LIKES U DUH

- U LIKE EACH OTHER??

- ITADORI UR FUMBLING

"You really think my roommate likes me? Really?"

- YES

- The only she could make it more obvious was if she kissed you like r u srs 😭😭

- Does she take or borrow ur stuff a bunch?

"Oh yeah, all the time." He laughed, nodding. "Like she'll use my body soap and won’t give it back unless I ask. Sometimes she'll even just take my clothes and leave them somewhere in her heya (room); sore wa wakaranai (I don't get that)."

- Bro cuz she likes u

- YUUJI WHAT

- She got it bad too. Both of u do

- AND U FRIENDZONED HER??

His heart was beginning to race a little as his chat spoke and said all these things. He laughed nervously, but he didn't deny any of their comments. He wondered if all these things actually were happening because she did have feelings for him.

"No, no I didn't... did I?"

- How do u curve a goddess BY ACCIDENT?

- Rejecting someone by accident is crazy

- She is fine asf lowkey

He shivered a little as his chat continued, making him begin to feel a little bad for keeping his feelings to himself and even stupid when realizing that he wasn’t reading her feelings correctly.

"I don't know, I mean.... it never crossed my mind that she really liked me. Maybe... but she just did small things."

He rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what to say. "I didn’t think she’d like me, I thought she was just doing it cuz she’s still fairly new to Japan. Aside from the fact that she’s out of my league."

- is it because she's older than you?

- I dont even think ur age gap is even that big smh

- how old is she anyway? U look about the same age

- Ik ur 21 but how old is (Y/n)?

"How old? She's 23, but still..."

He rubbed the back of his neck, his face red. He just didn't know what to say so he just laughed nervously. They kept describing her and it made him feel bad, thinking that he had been doing this to her, hopefully she still liked him so he could try again.

- ONLY 2 YEARS AND U STRESSIN BOUT AN AGE GAP???

- If you don't GO CONFESS LIKE AN ADULT😭😭

- Ur both young adults so age is just a number fr

- Yuuji, don't piss me off 🙄😤

Itadori couldn't help but laugh the more he read, unable to deny the comments that his chat was making. It felt like his chat had read his mind.  

"Okay okay, wakattyo (i get it)! She likes me, I might like her, age isn't an issue. What am I supposed to do though?"

- Talk to her wat 😭😭

- UH TALK TO HER??

- Ask her out duh.

He laughed and read the comments. His chat was making it so simple.

"Come on guys, it can't be that simple. I live with her! What if she doesn't feel the same and things end up being awkward?"

Itadori jumps out of his chair, his heart beating out of his chest when he hears the only other person in the house knock on his bedroom door. Shit. Of course. He then realized he had his stream on the whole time so she definitely heard everything. He got up and walked over to his door. He cracked open the door, peeking through with his cheeks still red.

“Hey, Yuu.”

"Hey... did you hear nandemo (anything)?"

"Hear what?" (Y/n) furrowed her eyebrows, "You on the phone?”

He paused and smiled, "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I was just making sure I wasn’t being too, um, loud. I thought you were asleep.”

“I was, but I woke up wanting something sweet. I'm running to the konbini, nani ka hoshi mono wa?"

“Yeah, sure.” He paused, thinking of something, "Can you get me some ichigo pocky?"

“Honto ni? I was gonna get the same thing.”

He laughed, her answer surprised him. "Really?"

“Yea. Alright, I'll be right back."

He smiles, waiting for her to come back. He had so many thoughts, so much to process about the stuff his chat said and his own feelings for her. He waited for her to come back with the strawberry pocky.

- Well???

- Did she seem to like u??

- What she say?

“There's really no reason for me not to like her, ya know? I'm starting to think I like her back, really like her, she’s so sweet." He rubbed his neck, feeling guilty, "You guys were right, I've been rejecting her by accident. When she gets back, I want to tell her."

- YAAY

- LETSSGOOO

- THATS MY BOY

- GAMER BF + SHY GF FTW

The comments made him smile even brighter. The chat called her his girlfriend, but he didn't want to get too ahead of himself. He could only hope she'd respond positively.

"Shut up guys, I'm not her boyfriend.... well, yet hopefully."

20 minutes later, she walks into his room with snacks and a few drinks in a bag. He didn't expect her to come back so fast but it made him grateful. He was smiling wide as he took off his headphones and paused his game again, realizing how cute she was when she was just being herself. (Y/n) pauses in his doorway with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

“Are--” She lowered her voice, “Are you streaming?”

"Uh, heh yeah. Uh, my chat they made me see something. It has to do with you."

“Oh god...” She chuckles and waves shyly at the camera, walking over, “They don't want me on another stream, do they?”

His chat was blowing up with comments, excited at the appearance of his roommate again. "Shut up guys, I swear. It wasn't planned. Anyway, you don't have to come near the camera.”

“I don’t, good; I was freaking out already.” She laughs.

“Do you mind if I keep streaming while we talk?"

“Uh... sure, why?” She hands him a soda and the boxes of pocky then backs out of the camera, “You making me nervous~”

"Yeah, sorry. They've really grown to like you, so they're excited to see you again."

“I was only in one stream!”

"I know, I know, but they really liked you. So every time you show up again, they get really excited because they love seeing more of you."

“I didn’t know I had fans; is that what you wanted to tell me?”

He sighed, "No, it's not. There's something else."

“Mkay...?”

"Alright.” He takes a deep breath and stands, hoping he doesn’t make a fool of himself, “So chat made me realize that I’m a biggest idiot in the world. I... I like you, (Y/n).”

“You're...” (Y/n) chuckles uncomfortably, “You’re joking? Kore wa jyooku desu ka?”

"No, no. I mean it. They helped me realize that you liked me so I wanted to tell you that.”

“But I thought you didn't like me.”

"Yeah, well, I thought I didn't, I realized it after they pointed out how we treat each other. And they were right.”

“So you were rejecting me... by accident?!”

“I just thought you'd stick around me cuz you’re still a little new to Japan!"

“Yuuji, I've lived here for like 5 months now!”

“Yeah, but I thought, like... I don’t know!”

“God, you be so clueless sometimes.” She sighs deeply, “Since I know now, finish your stream and we can eat the snacks and maybe, uh, eiga o miru?"

Itadori froze. “Movie? You... want to watch a movie with me?"

“Seems like the only thing to do this late at night," She chuckles, "Everything but the convenience store is closed this late."

"Hell yeah, I’d love to!”

(Y/n) laughs, “Mkay, lemme know when you’re done.”

(Y/n) leaves his room with the bag of her sweets and closes the door. Yuuji sits back down in his chair with a wide smile on his face as he starts playing his game again. He was so focused on finishing it for his stream and going to watch the movie that he wasn’t reading the chat’s confused and riled comments. He finally looked over at them and laughed, pausing the game:

- ITADORI IF U DON'T END THE STREAM

- GO BRO

- END STREAM

- STREAM TMR TF

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(a/n): unfortunately not sponsored by strawberry pocky cuz 🤤🤤

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen x black reader #x black reader #black reader #x black fem reader #black writers #jujutsu kaisen #black fem reader #yuuji x reader #jjk yuuji #yuuji itadori x reader #itadori yuuji x reader #yuuji fluff #itadori yuuji fluff #yuuji itadori fluff #yuji x reader #itadori yuuji

[lordeemailarchive]

Pure Heroine turns 10

(27/09/2023) (PH 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY DISPATCH)

Living in Ruins of a Palace within My Dreams

Photo by Simeon Patience

Hi,

Firstly, I wanna say thank you for your extremely supportive and kind messages after my last newsletter. I genuinely feel deeply cared for, less alone, and more sure that things will be okay after sending it! Albeit with a slight overshare hangover. I think a part of me knew that I had hit a wall, and that I needed to invite in the compassion and understand I’d been struggling to generate on my own, and then I’d have something to draw from and mirror. It feels like it’s working. I feel incredibly grateful that we have this relationship, that we can each give when the other needs it. Beautiful stuff x

Now, might U have noticed it’s 2013 mode round here????????? Yes that’s right, it’s a very special anniversary… Pure Heroine is... ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡TEN ˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚ YEARS ˚༘♡ ⋆｡˚ OLD ੈ✩‧₊˚ TODAY ! ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

You may (like me most of the time) hold the opinion that this album has been MYTHOLOGISED QUITE ENOUGH, but a milestone is a milestone, so I thought coming here and typing some shit to u about this time would be a fun thing for those who care.

2 xxxxtra special ltd time only commemorative designs by Hassan, who did the original of this bootleg tee 10 years ago❤️

It’s close to midnight, and I’ve just finished scrolling through my entire computer and phone archive from 2011-2013. Going on this memory lane ride has reminded me, for one thing, what a different time it was technologically. We were just starting to be able to see ourselves in real time, but we weren’t constantly connected. I had an iPod touch until halfway through 2013, which didn’t have a front camera or internet access, and my sister and I shared a MacBook, which is where we did our schoolwork and I wrote my lyrics. I took my first few years of selfies on Photo Booth…. Just let that… sink in!!!

Note the Royals Nat Geo pic in background— it’s happening...

When I was fourteen, my greatest work of art was my bedroom. A very cool, very classic teenage bedroom, Andie’s and Duckie’s from Pretty in Pink meets the Virgin Suicides— fairy lights, fabric on the ceiling, candles, stolen road signs (badman), paper lanterns, beer crate shelves, magazine pictures and club night posters and permanent marker on the walls. Bliss! I’d sit up there and vibe out, taking a lot of selfies. Creating a small-scale work of art using the self, and then examining the product from every angle, was the best method I had to express myself and exercise creativity at that time, and I now see it as an important PH incubation phase, whether I knew it or not. Something really amazing about a young person starting to see their own face and body for the first time, coming to a very secret understanding that they are beautiful. 

I started to smoke weed, which gave me a deeper understanding of sensory pleasure, and allowed me to start to see my world as a possible work of art. I’d go on long walks around the neighbourhood, and began to mythologise the stuff around me (big empty floodlit rugby fields/bus rides/dark streets/boredom/isolation) into the motifs that would become Pure Heroine. I wore a lot of like, navy lipsticks from the 2 dollar shop. God, this aesthetic, It’s just TOO MUCH.

At some point in here, I met Joel, and another piece of the puzzle clicked into place. When you’re a teenager, you’re particularly sensitive to adults being condescending to you, not respecting the specific and finely tuned skills you have because of the ones you don’t. I was always on the look out for it, and from the first day meeting Joel, I knew that he would never give me that feeling. Which I’m sure wasn’t easy — my wallet at the time was the foot of a pair of tights that I cut off and knotted at the top — but somehow from the very beginning he made me feel like my ideas had value, like we were peers, in the most sensitive and age-appropriate way. 

My view for thousands of hours making this album

We got on a call earlier this week and broke down the complete history of making the album. We both agreed that making Pure Heroine was deeply exciting and intimate and free, and still one of our most treasured experiences. I’ve linked it here.The second half of 2013 is when I really met the world, went to America and Australia and Europe for the first time. I found an incredible (for some reason Christmas themed) disposable camera image of my stage outfits all over the floor of my hotel room, which really sums up how ad hoc everything was at the beginning — a jetlagged sixteen year old, late for lobby call and frantically stuffing thousands of dollars of borrowed clothes into a suitcase. 

In this stage, it felt like I pulled everything off by the skin of my teeth. Every week was the most exciting week of my whole life, I was so tired and still didn’t have a winter coat and took everyone clamouring for a piece of me completely for granted. I had zero cultural context, had no idea if an interview or TV show was huge or small, and so breezed through it all truly not giving a fuck. I am not a naturally nonchalant person, it was literally just too much to care about, I could hardly get up in the morning, so I just said absolutely whatever I felt like, all kinds of wild shit, if someone did something corny I’d say so, I was ruthless in that way that only teens are. Then through that year we went on our first tours, met you guys for the first time, hours and hours of hugs after the show, my favourite part so far and where it started to feel real for me. James took a lot of beautiful film photos through that time, and I’m really grateful he did.

Ten years goes really fast. One minute you’re wearing a leather collar with a giant crystal hanging off it to a Chanel party, and the next you’re blonde. A lot of stuff isn’t good after ten years. But I am still totally touched by this sweet record. I have deep respect for the vision of the little one making it. 

Going back through all of this has reminded me of something that feels important to point out, whether you make art or not: everything starts out as a bunch of bullshit in a laptop. Pure Heroine was a handful of Photo Booth selfies and emotional Word documents and Tumblr posts (and a gorgeous over-decorated bedroom) before it was even one song. I had no reason, on paper, to believe that I was capable of anything. But if you can trust that the first impulse you had to create came from a place of deep wisdom, develop a few principles for your decision-making, and absorb a lot of stuff you find inspiring, you’ll have something special on your hands. Pure Heroine exists because I had the tiniest inkling of what I’ve now come to see as one of my guiding principles: that each of us have a handful of songs inside us that are ours, and only ours, to sing. Your specific interests and upbringing and physiology and experiences exist only in you; you are sitting on a gold mine that no one can rob. Whatever that means to you, whatever that statement you were born to make is, I invite you to take a big breath and make it.

All my love for another ten years of all this, and more, and more—

Ella XXXXXXXXXX

(source: received this email)

[omegalomania]

i would like to hear more on the patrick vs brendon vocal ability discussion if you would maybe want to rant 👀 👀 (hshsgehdv also I've recently come to know that mr urie is Not that great of a Person so appreciate you for making that post <3)

all right so full disclaimer: the last time i had any notable vocal training was like about 10 years ago. i did get some vocal training but i have undergone hrt since then so most of what i did know is pretty useless since ive never taken the time to actually relearn my range. my understanding of this stuff is old and limited so if anyone whos actually up to date on this shit can weigh in thats always great. im doing this because im a salty mccuntnugget whos had too much honey jack daniels for one night and that apparently is what supercharges me to write emo bandmember cringe compilation posts. somehow.

this got long so im throwing it beneath a cut. click for more if you wanna read about one guy on the internet having Opinions about which of these two dudes sings better

so once again: this is MYYYY OPINION im not your mom you are free to disagree or whatever i literally do not care. but an anon asked so im going to answer. here we go.

FIRST NOTE. comparisons between patrick and brendon have been going on since the dawn of the fucking age but brendon his own damn self decided to act like patrick was copying him vocally so that means i can be as mean as i want cause he started it. we’re doing playground logic here cause this is my blog and i do what i want and also cause hes that much of a cunt.

so i want to start things off with a reminder that patrick stump did not set out to be a singer! he was not picked out of a lineup for his vocal ability. he mostly just wanted to write songs, and it was joe and pete who made a point of saying "no actually you should sing." and it takes patrick a while to actually grow into his range and gain confidence as a singer since his real love is composition. it's not until infinity on high in 2007 that you really hear him growing into his own as a vocalist and it's not until the hiatus/posthiatus that you really hear his vocal confidence.

brendon got to be the singer for panic because bassist brent wilson knew him in high school and he thought his vocal ability was top notch. the rest of the band agreed. it also took brendon a while to grow into his voice. in fact in the early days before panic actually took off (aka before ryan ross badgered pete wentz into signing a band of mostly high schoolers), people on old fob forums legitimately thought that brendon WAS patrick. old articles refer to panic as fall out boy clones for probably that reason.

brendon actually made his vocal debut on a fall out boy record, from under the cork tree (which was released may 5 2005, whereas panic's debut a fever you can't sweat out wouldn't release until september 27 2005). he does a little part in 7 minutes in heaven (atavan halen) on the chorus (he does the second "i keep telling myself, i keep telling myself i'm not the desperate type") and it's genuinely something a lot of people miss, because he sounds a lot like patrick here. later in 2008, this would happen again on 20 dollar nosebleed, which gave brendon a much bigger vocal part (again he splits the chorus with patrick) but in which their vocal inflections are very very similar to the point where a lot of people don’t realize he contributed vocals there.

so there are a lot of similarities, particularly when these two guys were still growing into their voices. it was during fob's hiatus that these started to diverge, and by 2017 they would be wildly different.

patrick readily admitted a lot that he never really intended to be a singer and it wasn't until infinity on high (2007) that he made a genuine attempt to be a singer in earnest. this reticence would often show live. it wasn't until the hiatus and then posthiatus that patrick, and also the rest of the band, had a consistent live presence imo. fob had a lot of infamously sloppy shows - fun to watch, but sonically kind of all over the place - and patrick wouldn't always be the most consistent vocalist. he'd be strong one night and breathy the next, and it wasn't until the hiatus that he started taking vocal lessons.

but the improvement really really shows now. patrick is a much more consistent and powerful vocalist posthiatus, and he's reportedly incredibly diligent in taking care of his voice. that's why you often see him making these kinds of faces in backstage videos; he's doing vocal trills, which are a specific kind of warmup that helps limber up the voice preshow. they look and sound a little silly, but warmups are important to make sure you dont damage your voice. patrick has specific warmup routines and also goes on vocal rest and doesn't do a lot of talking prior to doing a show.

so brendon does double shots before every show. i’ll be honest here i tried to do more research into what goes into warmup routines before panic shows but i Cannot deal with hearing this man talk about himself more than i already have tonight so if anyone else wants to source whatever he does. please do. i would not be surprised if he treats his voice fucking atrociously but even if he doesn’t...his upper register (which is basically his one party trick in live settings) is starting to sound awful strained on studio vocals as of 2022, which is not a good look.

i also want to emphasize that even if his technical ability took time to really come into its own, patrick has always been an incredibly emotionally versatile vocalist. from under the cork tree is really the first time you get to see this shine, where patrick swings from cocky tongue-in-cheek irony (our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued) to aching vulnerability (i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth) to snarling anger and accusation [get busy living or get busy dying (do you part to save the scene and stop going to shows)]. factor in the bonus tracks and you get patrick at his most ruthless (my heart is the worst kind of weapon), his most raw and desolate (star 67), and a rare appearance of some borderline unclean vocals (snitches and talkers get stitches and walkers).

posthiatus this is even more apparent. save rock and roll in 2013 demanded an incredible depth of emotional and technical range, and patrick was noticeably a little gun-shy about actually committing to doing those kinds of riffs live, since he wasn’t sure he was going to have to perform those songs live. by 2018′s mania, i want to emphasize that you can actually HEAR patrick smiling in "sunshine riptide." on mania, you also have songs that demand a diverse range of tone and vocal depth: “stay frosty royal milk tea” is a snarling, punchy opening track that reminds you that patrick was a drummer first, but this is also paired with the eclectic edm-soaked “young and menace,” the crooning doo-wop style ballad “heaven’s gate,” the reggae-flavored “HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T,” and the closing track which, full disclosure, is probably one of my favorite songs of all time, “bishops knife trick.” and patrick pulls them all off! the best display of this was that he was able to do young and menace live in both its original incarnation and in the somber, stripped-down piano version.

also, as a note: fall out boy songs are really fucking hard to sing. the vocal range they demand is absolutely insane even if you’re not some drummer who got strongarmed into being a singer. the fact that patrick can replicate these vocals live and maintain a rich emotional diversity in tone is really, really noteworthy.

panic songs are also pretty hard to sing. they require a lot of vocal acrobatics, which was an ambitious thing for a band composed of mostly high schoolers when they started out. early performances were really rough because not only was brendon struggling, the rest of the band was struggling to perform songs live that ryan ross wrote on his computer lol.

so now is the part where i start drinking heavily so i can talk about brendon vocals. brendon has the technical talent, even if, like patrick, it took him a while to grow into it. but his emotional versatility is, imo, sorely lacking, and that was evident in early days but it would only get more glaring as time went on. a fever you can’t sweat out in 2005 had a lot of really intensely emotional moments and emotionally charged songs, but it took me a few listens to really grok that because brendon sings them all with the same upbeat energy. and you can put that down on him being an inexperienced singer still figuring his way around this whole “being a frontman” gig, but the trend actively continues and in fact gets worse over time. i think 2008′s pretty. odd. gave us some insight into this due to the pronounced vocal role that ryan ross gets on that album. he takes lead vocals on “behind the sea” and gives us some audible backing vocals throughout in a way that suggests to me that, on some level, the band was aware that they needed someone with more emotional range to counter brendon’s straight-on belting.

so it’s...kind of uncomfortable seeing brendon do said full on belting and also a borderline striptease dance to “camisado” live (which, for those not in the know, is a song ryan ross wrote about his life with his abusive alcoholic father). and i’m not gonna pretend i have any say in whether or not ryan was okay with something so ruinously personal being performed in that kind of way when he was no longer in the band, but it SURE does sit kinda weird with me!

cause brendon is a belter, and that’s just kind of his one mode. this really got more apparent after vices and virtues (2011), and too weird to live, too rare to die (2013), because there was a little more emotional range there. but that pretty much dies out after those records and brendon kind of has these two moods for everything released here on out: it’s either “i love weed” or “i love my wife” and there’s not a lot of range between. he doesn’t have much in the way of moderation. my one single experience in attempting to see panic live (in 2019, no less. it wasn’t a good time lol) was just kind of...relentlessly high-energy regardless of the song, because again, that seems to be brendon’s one setting. he frantically climbs the scale and hits really high notes to keep the energy up without ever actually letting it dial down at any point. it’s not about playing to the song; it’s about reminding the audience, constantly, of what a vocal powerhouse he is, at all times. this does nothing whatsoever to counteract how emotionally flat he is as a performer.

remember that point i made about the differences between patrick’s performance of the high-energy original flavor young and menace and its acoustic piano version? well, you get a superficially similar instance in brendon’s renditions of “this is gospel” in both its original incarnation and the piano version, but i want to point out the difference in tone here. or rather, the fact that there kind of isn’t one. contextually, “this is gospel” is a pretty somber song. it was written for and about spencer smith and his struggles with addiction before his eventual departure from the band, but it’s kind of hard for me personally to reconcile that with the way brendon vocalizes it, even in what is supposed to be a slower, more intimate rendition of it.

this got more glaring in 2018 on pray for the wicked, which gave us “dying in la” which...is i guess, brendon’s attempt at some tonal diversity on an album that was basically back to front “CHECK OUT THIS WILD PARTY I’M AT” but it doesn’t really go anywhere, imo. it builds to something, but...doesn’t actually resolve. i’m gauging this all on vocals, not lyrics, because that’s the point of comparison i’m making - lyrics are a whole other kettle of fish. it’s just like, the guy cannot dial back even for a second and as a result there is NO variation in the way he performs, studio or live. after it’s been long enough, it just kind of starts to wear at you.

another very telling difference is how different patrick and brendon’s backing vocals are. backing vocals by definition need to be much more restrained than if you're taking lead. here's patrick backing travie in 2010 - he's very understated here. distinct and audible, giving us some nice vocal harmonies, but he keeps the spotlight very truly and deservedly on travie. this is also true for studio vocals, like on the lupe fiaso track "little weapon" from 2007 in which patrick isn't even one of the vocal features. he's audible if you know what to listen for, but most of his touch comes from the track's production and composition. more recently, here's patrick doing studio backing vocals in 2017 for a cover of "same drugs" with matt nathanson. once again, he's very good at dialing things back because he's not the lead here and he knows it.

let's contrast this with the cover 2010 panic did of "skid row" from little show of horrors, wherein dallon is meant to be the lead. fortunately dallon manages to shine regardless, but it's...a little jarring that brendon is ostensibly meant to be the support here but vocally and stylistically is belting like he's front and center. another telling instance is this performance of “america’s suitehearts” featuring brendon. in fairness, both patrick and brendon sound pretty rough here since this is a hard song to pull off! but brendon is supposed to be pulling support, and he’s riffing like he’s center stage. and it’s not particularly good riffing either lol.

“what a catch donnie” is the most egregious example of this though. i’ve said this before, but brendon REALLY sticks out in a not great way on what’s supposed to be a soulful, honorary vocal feature. the rest of the fueled by ramen guys singing along are doing their guest spots in a very understated, tonally consistent fashion: distinct in their own rights, if you know what to look for, but definitely doing what they can to fit into the tone of the song. brendon comes barreling in singing DANCE DANCE like this is his fucking show, and it sticks out so badly because he’s doing nothing whatsoever to conform to the tone of the piece.

a couple more points of comparison that i personally find really interesting:

“one of THOSE nights” off of the cab’s debut album whisper war (sidebar: GREAT ALBUM. i miss this band so fuckin much man) features both brendon and patrick; brendon is heard doing the post-chorus, and patrick does the final bridge and can be heard on the final chorus. both of them are belting here, but patrick’s got a strong emotion that suits the finish without being too overpowering and also crucially doesn’t just stay...flat.

patrick actually does backing vocals on a couple other tracks on whisper war, like “i’m a wonder,” and in both that track and “one of THOSE nights” you can hear how much technical and emotional dexterity he has. the former has him belting and the latter has him doing a very restrained backing falsetto.

folie a deux era gave us two gentle lullaby pieces for pete’s first kid. the first is “lullabye,” the album’s hidden bonus track. the second is “bronx’s lullaby.” patrick does the first, brendon does the second. the first sounds very gentle and tender, and the second sounds...i mean, i can tell what he’s going for. but it just kind of sounds ominous to me. so basically i can see why most people will talk about the former and ignore the latter lol lol

did you guys know brendon was on broadway. im kidding im kidding he has literally not shut up about being on broadway and seems to have made that his tertiary character trait since kinky boots. anyway here’s brendon sounding like brendon on kinky boots and basically performing the song like any other panic song. here is patrick covering rocky horror and nailing tim curry’s part. i don’t have any live covers of patrick to have a more accurate point of comparison (he’s in his studio here so he had the luxury of picking the best take) but i just think its fucking wild that patrick wasnt the one of them to go on broadway. fucks sake man.

i COULD compare the two of these guys covering queen but that just seems mean because fob was doing a whole entire studio session and brendon was just doing it over zoom and nah im just kidding i really am that petty. anyway here’s fall out boy covering under pressure and patrick dueting with himself and managing to nail both freddie mercury and david bowie’s parts without losing his own distinctive touch. here’s brendon doing his cover of under pressure and thanks i hate it.

lastly, cause i did my fuckin research here. here are some vocal coaches taking notes on live vocals for patrick and brendon respectively. you might note that they have a lot more notes to give to the latter, a lot more cautionary tales about how much brendon pushes his voice. if they do have critique to offer patrick, it’s in regards to clips of his prehiatus performances (or for that one 2013 thnks fr th mmrs performance when he was sick lol).

the bottom line for me is that patrick, stylistically, just has more range and more versatility. he can do virtually any genre - dancehall, rock, pop, rnb, hardcore, ska, funk, and SO MANY FUCKING MORE - and he can still sound distinctly himself. and for me, brendon only ever sounds like he’s singing the same song in the same genre; molding the song to suit his tastes and his range, and not the other way around.

all right thats all ive got steam for. patrick has always been a much more distinct and capable vocalist in my opinion and it kinda sucks that general public opinion seems to favor brendon so heavily cause brendon’s basically only got one emotional setting and couches the fact that he has no vocal dexterity in a lot of high notes and everyone just eats it up. it’s a diverting tactic and it’s worked. but that kinda seems to be brendon’s m.o. these days since he’s trying to shake low opinion of him by drumming up controversy and writing a song about a dude who hasn’t been in the same band as him in 13 years so

#askin hours #anon #i had to open so many incognito windows for this cause i dont want this infecting my youtubes lol #i just use youtube to watch vinesauce streams and once a month i rewatch line goes up and sherlock is garbage #ive also said this before but its really really telling to me how patrick and brendon get involved w other artists #patrick loves music. he loves composition he loves instrumentation #he loves writing songs for people and he'll sing if he's asked to but mostly he just loves music #brendon just seems to love attention. he never takes a project that doesn't put him in center stage

[malwary]

a little while ago @neuro-typical sent me this post by @bye2k of a popup that appeared when trying to right-click images on a shadow the hedgehog fan forum, known as Wishes are Eternal (after the SA2 line). this version of the site appears to be an archived snapshot on the wayback machine, and I'm happy to confirm that it is indeed real. though i couldn't get the popup to work in my own browser, the javascript does exist in the source code of the site, so it's very real and very cool.

i had a lot of things to say about this, but i didn't want to blast the notes of the OG post into oblivion with my big funny wall of text, so I've made my own post. below the readmore I'll explain javascript popups on the internet, some malware that has utilized this, and some very interesting sonic fan community history.

first of all: what is this? how did the webmaster manage to create a popup window in your computer to stop you from downloading images?

well, that would be javascript. because JS is just a normal script language that can do whatever you want, creating a popup is no exception. now, whoever ran the site did not write this script themself, this much is evident by the credit you can see in the source code for the site.

this script is offered by a site called dynamicdrive.com, specifically for disabling right-clicks. you see how simple this is? javascript makes it possible to bother users in all sorts of creative ways. plenty of malware on the web utilizes javascript, and you're probably already aware of most good examples.

you're most likely familiar with offiz, better known by the colloquial name "You Are An Idiot". though its status as malware is somewhat debated, most people can agree that the sites it was on abused a javascript function that allowed it to create hundreds upon hundreds of bouncing windows, slowing the user computer to a crawl and forcing the user to restart their machine, meaning any unsaved work they had open was now lost. in that way it was destructive, though indirectly.

offiz is an example of javascript malware that is harmless on its own, but not all JS malware is that friendly. javascript can be used to force your machine to download software, steal user data, serve you all manner of popups, employ many kinds of malicious code through xss, and more. although these cases are rarer than they were, say, a decade ago, that doesn't mean they don't still happen. here is a fascinating little instance of javascript being used maliciously very recently. it's hard to suggest ways to avoid these without just telling you to use common sense, but there's no other way to put it. as is the case with all malware, your best bet when it comes to not getting it is thinking before you click.

browser malware is extremely common. you may have encountered it going to a suspicious website. there is certainly a necessary aspect of social engineering to this type of malware, you have to be paying less attention to where you're going and what you're doing to stumble upon a site so unsecured that it could infect you. users who get themselves into these situations are typically looking for either p_rn or pirated stuff, so they're more likely to act in irrational or desperate ways to get to their content. don't be a fool online and you won't get played for one.

so, why? why does this old, obscure sonic fan forum have javascript that prevents you from right clicking images? prevents you from downloading images?

this forum is very, very old. the last posts on the entire site were about 10 years ago, even to this day. it's no surprise to me that a lot of this site is a relic of its time. the photobucket watermark on the header image, the collecton of midis of shadow themes playable on the site, the use of the term "ripped off" (as opposed to ripped) to describe the action of taking sprites from a game. it's all there on the very first page, the only one in this archive. despite what youtube video slideshows with a single text scroll that says "no copyright intended, pictures found on google" may imply, reposting images was indeed taken seriously at this time. this was a time when it wasn't too uncommon to see a credit to the person who made an anime girl image transparent (a render, for those unaware) in a forum signature. this was a time when someone got caught tracing every 5 days.

that's not to say there were no issues, but people were still very defensive over what they deemed to be theirs. this was especially prevalent in fanart. fan works are hard and are always a labor of love, so it's no surprise nobody wanted their work reposted, especially not without credit. this was especially clear when looking into some parts of the sprite ripping community. making spritesheets was much harder then than it is now, and it was especially impressive if sprites were hand-edited or even made from scratch. this incredibly painstaking work combined with sonic fans reputation for... unwavering passion... could often culminate in a very serious attitude towards doing something as simple as saving an image. in fact, for some people, this mindset has never truly left.

in 2014, fangame creator Leemena Dan published Sonic Gather Battle on SAGE (the Sonic Amateur Games Expo) to mostly positive reception but ultimately little attention outside of sonic fans online. that is, until 2017, when after a seemingly inconspicuous update, players discovered what appeared to be an audaciously malicious form of DRM present in the game.

this malware had everything. all the bells and whistles. when a player would do any number of things from opening software made to decompile games to simply typing "sonic gather battle cheat" into their internet browser search bar, the payload would activate. (which, of course, means it tracks your keystrokes!)

it's difficult to find good footage of both layers of this DRM (or, rather, both payloads of this malware) that doesn't include a facecam of some gamer dude gawking and screaming at his computer screen. even so, I've found two decent ones. layer 1, and layer 2. this DRM also sends your IP address to a privately owned server, presumably so that the DRM would activate even when the game is uninstalled, and when trying to play it, a splash screen would show telling you to abide by the rules.

unsurprisingly, people did not consider this a proportionate way to respond to the threat of people ripping the sprites from a fangame, and the creator has since been banned from SAGE. to this very day, some people are simply so protective of their work that they'd be willing to go to any length to prevent you from saving it. as obnoxious as that can sometimes seem, it does make for some very interesting history.

#trojan #spyware #scareware #Offiz #Sonic Gather Battle #sonic

[eyes-talks-ocs]

Hey! Hey! Look at me! I did A THING!! Even made a banner and everything!

SO, I figured I should probably do one of these since I've been seeing them make their rounds.

--

Not so much a 'hello world! I'm new here!' but more a proper introduction for myself.

Hi, I'm Sam, 26, and I'm your local cryptid who is employed by the US government to plant trees. [Along with starting up a hay and forage business come this spring - ufff no rest for this wicked 😅]

I've been on Tumblr for well over a decade, and writing for even longer. A few years ago I stumbled into the writing side of Tumblr and I've loved my stay here so far. Seriously, this side of the Internet. I absolutely adore and I love you guys. BUT, I'm pushing myself this year and I'm going to try and quit lurking, and actually interact and try to make more friends. I need to quit being shy.

So, 90% of my original writing I'll be sharing is snippets of my long standing WIP "Social Throwaways". The other 10% is just random drabble with my DnD character and or things with my characters that were inspired by writing prompts and challenges. I also try to share others' writing and writing advice memes in general.

--

I lean into the adult side of fiction, and I love me a good messed up story with real world issues. I don't exactly know what genre[s] to call what I like to read and write. But the ones that explore the dark, heavy, traumatic, brutal, and people just being people. Flaws and all. My current WIP really dives heavily into trauma, poor coping skills, self destructive tendencies, power imbalances, self reflection/revelation, acceptance of what is, what was, and what will be, and just a whole lot of exploring the dark aspects of life no one wants to talk about or acknowledge happen. I donno, I really like a heavy story that is fictional enough to be unbelievable, but also makes one stop to think about stuff because it might hit just a little too close to home.

Also love a story that's whole vibe is 'hurt me so I can feel alive'

Also, also. Whump is my jam and guilty pleasure.

--

I guess I really don't know what else to say here, other than hi, I'd like to make more friends because I'm a socially awkward potato in real life. Please, stop by say hi, or leave a like/reblog and I'll go check out your blog!!

--

P.S. I do art too and I'm always down for an art trade and or commission work 😁

#writing #writing community #writblr #author introduction #eyes talks #blog introduction #original writing

[scarafrisbee]

–and they ask, is he your boyfriend? -> thoma x gn!celeb!reader

syn: you're a famous celebrity on the red carpet, signing for fans until you encounter a certain someone...

/ cute stuff, fluff???, kisses (ish), modern au, lower case intended, not proof read, pet names? (angel, love)

/ i'm back (like anybody cares) (the last time i posted a fic was almost a year ago) (idek what happened to me nd my crush) (lol not rlly they gave me a love letter earlier today) (valentines special??? lol)

the lights are bright enough to blur your vision; if you were new to this industry that is. walking on the red carpet, the fans scream your name and all eyes are on you. you're all too familiar, really. and of course, with fame comes with its own hurdles— like people prying into your personal life, invading general privacy or trying to figure out who the hell you may or may not be dating.

of no surprises, there's fans and other people on the barricades sticking out arms with items for you to sign. plenty of people screaming you, your name and whatever they can to catch your attention. nobody in particular catches your eye as you approached and signed their items with a smile, until you see him.

his endearing green eyes, charming smile— and who else would it be, none other than thoma? you adore him like nothing and nobody more. he's like the honey to your bitter tea, making everything better.

at this point, you've signed plenty of things. books, posters, even some people's phone cases or something. fans will always find a way to make your brain spin, don't they?

thoma smiles right at you, his hand out with a simple novel. "angel!" he blurts out with a silly lovestruck grin, "how have you been?" thoma asks, succeeding at painting a silly grin on your lips.

— he's your rock, staying with you all times. through now, then and every second he can in the counting future.

thoma looks at you with equal adoration, his eyes crinkling into a smile. "better," you responded with a quiet chuckle.

with the marker you held and signed a plenty of items with, you took the novel and signed it. thoma acts as though he was a regular fan, and not like your boyfriend.

looking upon the book before giving it back, it was one of those silly romance-centric works. cute little rom-com with no hopes and dreams crushed! wow. you could describe your dearest thoma that way, no? unapologetically loving, and all too generous.

very generous. and very sappy.

much so as he pulls you in with a smile, your heart fluttering upon a simple kiss on the amidst the flashing lights. cameras everywhere catch the moment as you shimmy off thoma with a laugh— "hey love, hey- not here!" you said in a whispery tone, gently rubbing your cheek.

your attention goes on elsewhere; you continue down the scarlet path, and like all events, reach the entrance to disappear into the depths of these rich companies and their events. you bid goodbye to those who border the barricades, walking in within the walls of many could only dream of coming inside.

all the while you enjoy your party and wine that would cost the regular person a lung, you encounter more people. interviewers, people with practically hearts in their eyes and the soft chatter of other around you.

the night is relatively peaceful after that, thankfully. nothing irregular could happen after, surely.

— what a ruckus you have made.

peace or chaos, whatever it is, it's basically a whole phenomena the day tomorrow. you wake up to posts about you and thoma, and that little cheek kiss he gave you the previous few hours before.

no wonder your phone's been blowing up all night and day. what is happening to the world?

"love? did you check twitter?" you asked thoma later that day, tilting your head in slight confusion. you're not exactly sure what's going on in the internet as of current...

"yeah, i said i was your boyfriend." thoma continued as he chuckled, "your fans just need you to confirm it."

note;; wowowow after a decade (10 months) and a difficult period in my life (i was just too busy) i finally post smth !!! wow. aaaaaa this was js to my get writing going again, i hope to post moree

#genshin fluff #genshin x reader #genshin x you #thoma x reader #thoma x you #scarafrisbee.com/writing

[pffbts]

a goodbye letter.

hello everyone, it's been a long time, isn't it?

i haven't written anything in months and tbh even if i wanted to further give life to all my wips, i wish i had even a drop of motivation and energy to do so. some of you might have as well forgotten about my little blog, which had its own humble beginnings. and tbh i don't mind at all. it's been, i don't know almost 5+ years that i've had this blog. i started it out during the last two years of my high school, when i was struggling very much to cope with all the pressure and anxiety. this little corner of the internet became my comfort space. i could pour my heart out into snippets of letters and the love that i received from all of you who were there from the beginning only fueled my passion to write more and of course, helped me immensely in escaping the cruelty of my reality.

since then, i have graduated school. my reality is still harsh but i'm surviving. i have also graduated from my college with two degrees that i was doing simultaneously. currently, i'm preparing to sit down for my master's 1st-year exam coming months and job surfing at the same time. tbh i wish i had enough energy and positivity to motivate myself to pen down something. but it seems like we have to finally pull the curtains down on this blog.

yes, there is a lot of stuff that's still pending to be completed as you will know if you care to check my masterlist. but i'm not going to give you any false hope by saying that someday i will magically come back and finish and place them all in front of you. it would be too selfish of me to keep you on your toes like that.

i know i've let down a lot of you. many have told me me how much, especially my letters have helped you guys during hard times. even though i know i shouldn't even bother to think like this considering i know none of you in-person. still, it's the crippling humanity in me. honestly, i feel sad for myself. my life took so many things away from me. even the capacity to keep this comfort space alive for myself. some of you have left a long time ago. probably life has happened to you all too. i have also met some of you during the latter part of my journey here and i'm very glad that you all loved my work even with all my incompetency in keeping up with the schedules. you guys were too kind to me.

this actually came too suddenly - this realization that something needs to end. i don't think there will come any other time in the future when i'll read fanfics or write them myself. but it's a bit too much to delete the whole blog considering the reblogs will still exist in the tumblr algorithm. therefore, the letters will still be up along with the fics.

although i don't think i will stop writing. i have my substack where i will experiment with my creative writing but that's just my way of growing up as a writer. these days i'm too busy both in my head and physically, i wish i can overcome becoming a moss. my produce is sparse but my want is bigger than that. although for fanfics, there's no want anymore. i've had my fill and i'm sad to say, this is where we part.

pffbts is thus archived. all my posts will remain. if you send in any mundane sweet ask, i will answer them as soon as possible. kindly please don't send in any requests for fics (i've had to delete a couple of them from my ask box and it felt terrible.) i'm not completely going away. as a person, i will stay. it's just the fanfic writing part of me that will take a permanent leave. i'm almost 24 and it's been almost 10 years that i've started out in creating fanfics. i think it's enough, nah? plus writing this post for you all has strangely made me feel calm, as a certain baggage has been let down from my shoulders.

thank you to you all from the past & the present. i hope you all stay well and healthy. it has been truly a good time to have you all with me.

-K.

#a:pffbts #personal

[dilatorywriting]

wait! you wrote Black Butler?? where can I find those fics? or literally all your other writings? I love your stuff

My AO3 is Dilatory, and it’s where my more recent fics (like anything from when I graduated high school onwards) are. (It’s also where my backups of all my Twst fics are, so if anything ever happens to this blog for some reason, all those stories will always be up on AO3)

I have a Fanfiction.net account called smart-blonde-the-oxymoron that’s fairly ancient in internet years. It has my writing on it from when I was a lil bean of 14 up through the start of college. I give my disclaimer that a lot of it was young teen writing, with young teen grammar and humor. And it was also 10 years ago. So very much not up to Internet Acceptability in today’s standards in any way, shape, or form.

If you’re looking for Black Butler specifically, my OG Fic is on FF in it’s entirety. HOWEVER, again, it does have all the issues of someone who was still in the process of taking her first High School English Classes in the early 2010s. I’m rewriting it on AO3 right now to give it a big ol’ facelift and just in general bring it up to my current writing standards, so there is a much better version there! It’s just not all the way finished yet because I’m spending a lot of time beefing it out (and the OG one was like fucking 75 chapters and almost 300k words long already. It’s a beast. Nearly doubling word count per updated chapter is Fun But Stupid)

#Asks

[niuniente]

I think you're super cool!

Any games that you really like?

I'm a long time follower of Tekken so I'm always happy when a new Tekken is announced :3

Resident Evil 4 is one of the best games I've played, even when I got stuck with it in such a way that there was no other way out than restart the whole game (they clearly hadn't thought about idiots like me who still can't aim near the end of the game lol). I'm excited for its remake!

I have played only the first Bayonetta but it was love at first sight! Everything in the first Bayonetta is like made for me. I especially love that the angels' are horrifying looking monsters from your nightmares.

I've been following Devil May Cry since the game was still on developers' table and we got first screenshots printed on a game magazine about it. Since DMC4 I haven't cared so much about it but I still follow the series and eventually will play each new game. I hope that now when the twin brothers Dante and Vergil are in Hell, DMC6 would literally be inspired by Dante's Inferno and Dante would go through Hell guided by Vergil. Such possibilities, aaaaah! ÖqÖ

Special mention goes to Katamari-series. In the game, you roll a round katamari and collect stuff with it to make stars (because the main character's father, The King of Cosmos, accidentally destroyed all planets). It's super fun to start from a small katamari and collect needles and stamps and paper clips and end up with a gigantic katamari collecting sky scrapers, small island and clouds! We Love Katamari is the 2nd installment and it's a game of how much people loved Katamari and wanted to roll more :D

I loved Pokemon Legend Arceus! I have never really played any Pokemon or followed the series but this was so cute and so entertaining I think I need to play more Pokemon games :3

Breath of Fire 3 is an amazing JRPG from the 90's. If you haven't played this, do yourself a favor AND PLAY IT. The story, the characters, the music. In what else game can you play as a mutated onion with cute screams?

Wild Arms 3 is also wonderful older JRPG. Very entertaining and straightforward to play. I'm currently still replaying it and this time I aim to finish it, as the last time 20 years ago I got stuck so badly I was unable to finish the game (it has some hard puzzles at times but luckily internet now exists in our pockets :D) Music is good!

From good music, I must mention a long time favorite Castlevania - The Symphony of the Night. Amazing soundtrack, amazing level design, amazing bosses oh my...! A dream game. <3

Not many know Bloody Roar series and to be honest, it would deserve a remake. I grew up with Bloody Roar 1 and enjoyed it a lot. It's a fighting game where the characters have an ability to turn into werebeasts, like Yugo here has turned into his wolf form.

Nier Automata is a game like I have never played or encountered before, it's absolutely INSANE! If anyone says games are just mindless entertainment, make them play this. So many awesome topics. It crushes your soul little by little in most horrifying ways and you're thankful about it. it makes you question your morals and ethics, as well as others' morals and ethics. If you like my comics, I think you'd enjoy Nier Automata, as some themes and elements are in both (though I could never write anything as insanely clever as NA is!)

The Last Guardian is amazing and very, very Japanese. This game as no aim, no side quests. You just travel with a big beast Trico and try to navigate your way out through different landscapes. Very atmospheric and realistic in a way that commanding Trico is sometimes difficult - just as commanding a wild beast would be. I don't think it was intentional that Trico doesn't do what asked so that you can go forward until after 10 minutes of you trying but I found it realistic when it happened, as frustrating as it was :'D

Of course, Final Fantasy VII, the original one, will go with me to my grave <3 QuQ

#sorry this game so long and I'm certain I forgot games #I've played for most of my life so #ask niu #games

[jjungkookislife]

Another hfth drabble 🥳😍☺️ I missed the gang and my main couple 🥰 The return of Jinnie’s cursed playlist 😂 Idk but I actually wouldn’t mind a car ride with him but I guess I understand Jk just wanting alone time with MC 😏 And he’s also so cute sulking for not being the favorite anymore, i think it’s MC at this point with Jimin just being a close second lol 😂 The random petting!!! I also hate it when I see random people try to pet other people’s dogs without permission, like they’re entitled to it or something. And then when they get bitten or what, they act as if as if they’re a victim 🙄 It just irks me, sorry for the rant 😅 And I just love that Jk showed her his childhood diner (it’s a diner, right?) that their family always went to, cause he’s including her in another family tradition 🥺 And can I just say, I love how the drabbles are just how they spend different holidays. Just like how the title states, they’re always home for the holidays or atleast celebrating it together with friends and/or family. Just love that. Celebrating Easter like this always fascinated me cause in my country, it’s more of a traditional Christian holiday and not this egg-hunting one. Can I ask, if it’s alright, why you guys celebrate it? And is it just like a get-together where you hunt for these eggs? Sorry, the internet just gives so much info that I wanted to ask someone that actually celebrates it or atleast has firsthand experience on celebrating it like that. And excuse me, “almost-lovers”?!?!? I need more info on this 😳 And not Yoonie’s “These are mine!”, acting like a territorial greedy kitten 🤣 I really miss him 😭

And I see you read a story from @/jimlingss, I really like their work too. I just remembered how much I loved their stories cause the story ideas were so unique ☺️

Anyways, I really loved this update, thank you again for sharing it with us. I really love reading about this couple, the gang, and the Jeon family and the happenings after the main story. It’s fun to see all the shenanigans and the lovey-dovey scenes that it makes me always look forward to it every time you gift us a drabble from this story. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your works and the effort you put in them 🥰 I hope you are doing well and not overworking yourself 💜

I enjoyed writing them for Easter brought back a lot of good memories of my childhood. This one was very self-indulgent 😅

I’d be down for a road trip with them lmao we’d need a big van and lots of snacks and Jin on with his playlist. There’s a tiktok I saw ages ago of where the creator would put the boys and why and if I can find it I’ll link it here later on 🤣

But yeah I just wanted an excuse to write “egg-stra special” 🤣🤣🤣

I will eventually get JK and MC on his motorcycle at some point though! I needed him to have his car for the diner 👀 and definitely MC is the favorite now! Aera loves her and Saraí as daughters and Minji adores MC so much bc that’s her baby now 🥰 I always imagined a loving family and in laws so again self indulgent 😅

The diner is something I went to growing up. My parents went there before they met and continued to do so after and I took my husband there as well. It’s also near the church I went to as a child and we’d head there for lunch after.

The part with Luna happened to me and we were both shocked. This random man came up to me 10 years ago and put his hand in my dog’s mouth and asked if she bites. When I tell you I was dumbfounded and so was my dog 💀

Ah the Easter thing, I called my mom/family holiday!catholics bc it was the only time we were in church 😅 for my family it was about getting together and the Easter egg hunt was for the kids. We’d either buy the eggs or go to my grandmother’s house to dye eggs and stuff them with confetti.

I hope I can sprinkle a little more taejin in the next one lol they fight like nobody’s business but they could be flirting 👀

I absolutely loved their story! I have to read more but I’ve been trying to balance reading fanfics and books and writing and video games and tv shows and it’s a lot lol I’ve been trying to read shorter fics for the past few months but I have a long lists of long fics I’d love to get into 👀

Thank you so much! I appreciate it and I always look forward to seeing your reaction 💜 I hope you’re doing well 💖

#sweet feedback 💖 #pretty pretty moots 💕 #fic: hfth

[unsettledink]

An interesting thread on comments and comment culture passed by on my dash, and for some reason it hooked me in. As usual, I started off wanting to say one thing and next thing I know, I'm 4k in with thoughts that everyone wants to hear. Right?

I left most of it on the post, talking about how comments used to be conversations, and how it never feels like people address the vulnerability of leaving a comment when they try and encourage more feedback.

I don't have answers. It's a cultural shift and how do things end up shifting again? Something big like a new platform or a radical change will probably have to appear before things go in a different direction, whatever it may be.

So no, I don't have an answer. I can say what helps me out, personally, when trying to remember why I want to go through the work of leaving a comment:

I write. I know from the other side what comments feel like. I remind myself of the excitement of seeing a notification pop up. (Obviously if you don't write, this doesn't help that much lol.)

Whatever I fear them judging me for, I can almost guarantee someone else has already judged me for something much worse. I mean, come on. I know the sort of things I write or rec.

I've done it enough I have a template in my head of how to write a comment. There are a few resources for that floating around that are good for getting started. Practice makes perfect.

Applying techniques from therapy. I'm not great at it, or have really internalized it, but at least aware that my fears are being egged on by anxiety, by past bad experiences, by the special hell of rejection sensitive dysphoria.

Easier said than done, especially on certain days, but just... running out of fucks to give. Like, oh my god self, so what if some author thinks I was too enthusiastic about their fic? What does it matter? They're just another random person on the internet, what are they going to do? Laugh at me? Then they're the one being a jackass, AND they don't get any more comments. Whatever.

And on that last one, if it's feeling impossible, like it'll never happen... holy shit this is going to sound condescending, but give it some time. Me from 10 years ago would have laughed at the idea of not caring what someone else thought. At some point, without me really noticing, I just could not care what some rando on the internet thought. It wasn't an active 'no I'm not going to care', it was 'wow I cannot find the energy to give a shit about you'. (But I can still find it to be mad when someone is Wrong on the Internet, so.)

I bring that up because every time I find out someone's age lately, I'm like, Jesus Christ. I forget how young fandom - esp tumblr - skews. Cause of course, I'm still young! It's not like I'm old, it's just that everyone is... younger... than... me. Wait. But for real, being in your late teens SUCKS. (Maybe you're lucky and they don't, but I doubt.) Being in your early 20's somehow sucks even more??? Being in your 20's period sucks. You couldn't pay me to be 20-anything again.

(Thinking of all the fandom people on here 20, 30 years older than me being like lol, you're still so freaking young :D )

Every comment I get these days I hoard like a dragon, and anytime I'm feeling crappy about writing or about some new thing being a bomb, I pull those suckers out and reread them for ages. I've got a whole doc just of tumblr comments, cause there's no other good way to find them again. if I'm really desperate, I go poke to see if there's any new bookmarks on my fic, in case they dropped a tag or put in a collection of favs or left a note of some sort (ya'll know authors can see those right?).

And I'd say I'm a pretty confident writer. I know I write a lot of niche stuff in tiny fandoms, so comparatively, I probably get a lot of comments. I have a moderately high opinion of my writing skills, so I'm mostly not sitting there going 'oh god I'm the worst writer ever', whereas I know that's the case for a LOT of fic writers. I'm mostly just sitting there like 'why didn't it hit the spot? why won't anyone say anything? I am so desperate to talk shop please anyone give me an excuse!!'.

So just... yeah. Throw an emoji at me. Throw a gif at me. Throw a novel that takes six comment boxes at me. Throw the exact same comment at fifteen different chapters/fics. I love it all.

(And hey. If you just lurk and read, it's okay. I get it. I still love you too.)

#archive of our own #ao3 #fanfiction #writing #commenting on commenting #comments #my rambles

[m0n0lithical]

Sims - get to know me

Tagged by @igotsnothing thanks so much I absolutely wanted to do this one! Also if ya’ll like occults you better go follow them.

1. What’s your favourite sims death? Either meteor because of HOW dramatic it is, or pufferfish since that’s like, the only way for your own sim to kill another sims (without mods, anyway).

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? Mostly Maxis, but I do have mix elements (like the hairs that aren’t TECHNICALLY alpha but are so detailed they almost look it), especially in my fandom saves because the outfits in those are always alpha.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? Nah, if I really want a sim to stay the same weight, I lock the weight/gain loss (I do this for my selfsim every time so she’ll STOP LOSING WEIGHT oh my god woman). But if I’m playing with it on, what happens happens.

4. Do you use move objects? I don’t even have to enter this cheat because it’s always ticked on my BBB.

5. Favorite mod? I mean the most practical favorites are MCCC and BBB, and really most of the ;must haves’ the majority of people have, so lemmie pick a lesser seen one – PreferencesPlus by Helaene is a huge game-changer for someone who really dislikes all the missing likes/dislikes in the game.

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? ...I wanna say Outdoor Retreat? I know, horrible pick, I didn’t know how lacking it was.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? Like LIVing

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? This...is hard, but I’m gonna have to roll with Amie, because she’s evolved beyond being just a sim at this rate – she’s also my FFXIV character, as well as a VtM character. But she absolutely did START as a sim.

9. Have you made a simself? Yes – she’s set loose in EVERY save I have for sake of hilarity – I love passing by her in-game and she’s doing something utterly random. The last time I saw her she was shooting down a goth witch lady flirting with her – thrilled the sexuality update can make her proper asexual now, was so happy to see it without having to put dumb flags on her!

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? Lover, Unflirty, Lazy, Cat Lover, Creative, Foodie.

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? I’m a pretty big fan of the middle red tone. Or the green, if we’re picking unnatural colors.

12. Favorite EA hair? The RoM updo short locs are SO good. Honorable mention to the EL undercut half-ponytail.

13. Favorite life stage? I’m gonna be boring and say YA, because the game is LITERALLY built around them so you have so, SO many more options.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I do a little bit of everything, but CAS is my specialty. I spend HOURS in there.

15. Are you a CC creator? If some hair/eye recolors and simple tattoos count, then yeah. I really can’t be fussed learning blender beyond pose-making.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? My social anxiety stops me from interacting a lot, even if I try my best to talk to people. Like, I know the chances of someone being an asshole to me are very, very slim and that most everyone is chill and laid back like I am – REASONABLY I know I’m being dumb, but also my brain is an asshole.

17. What’s your favorite game? In Sims, I’ve honestly only played 4 (a friend sent me 3 a while ago but I have yet to fire it up). Outside sims? Uh...Okami for single player, Guild Wars 2 for multiplayer.

18. Do you have any sims merch? God I wish.

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? Hahahah like my internet would let me upload videos.

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Lord I have no idea...I’ve been fiddling with different types of sim face styles, but I keep falling back to the same one, really – at least for non-themed saves. And it doesn’t even stand out I’m pretty basic bitch.

21. What’s your Origin ID? Monophony! I mostly make sims, but there’s a few terrible builds there, too.

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? That is a hard as hell question...but I wanna say @simandy,. For multiple reasons, but primarily because their hairs are just...to die for.

23. How long have you had a simblr? It’s been a year or two, but I took several hiatuses as I got distracted by my MMOs. I have a goldfish attention span.

24. How do you edit your pictures? I have several different reshade presets I’ll alternate between, and a good number of Photoshop actions and/or PSDs, and it’s always some combo of those. Each save has a different reshade/action (or PSD) combination to make them have their own looks (I have a word doc for ref so I know what save uses what combo).

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? Vampires will always be my favorite, but I was shocked by how much I also enjoyed Werewolves – I’m not a werewolf person, really. Non-occult...Growing Together really does add a ton through the whole game.

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? I uh...well you see >-> I’M STUPID WITH MY MONEY I HAVE THEM ALL.

I’m only gonna tag a few peeps since I’ve seen most people having done this - @simarcana, @druidberries, @apricote, @lotus030, @salemssimblr if ya’ll wanna do this here’s your excuse! <3 Feel free to ignore if you don’t wanna!

#tag game

[metalhealth-willdriveyoumad]

It is just so bizarre how little anyone really seems to remember Cry_Wolf. Like, it was a bad movie, and I’m not saying it was anything better than it was. But it was an at best mid-tier mid-2000s “slasher”… with Jon Bon Jovi in it. And that’s really weird, right? Both in the fact that Jon Bon fucking Jovi agreed to be in a pretty poorly written mid-2000s slasher and also that pretty much no one remembers it or talks about it.

And I know that 2000s Bon Jovi was nowhere near as famous as they were in the 80s or, hell, even 90s, but they’d reached a kind of eternally famous by that point where most people, at least in the states, have definitely heard one of their songs and most of that group have also heard the name. Like, maybe they got pushed aside for a lot of that decade because of how… much everything was, but they never completely disappeared and a lot of that backseating has been reversed by this point.

And this movie had Jared Padalecki in it, and Supernatural fans are Supernatural fans. But even they’ve never pulled this thing back up en-masse as, like, an early performance cult-following thing.

So both of those, mixed with the fact that it had an advertising campaign so big that AOL was in on it and created a game that doesn’t exist any more through their service, just… More people should remember this movie.

But most people just… don’t. It has a few more people mentioning it on here, and a lot of that does seem to be gifsets of Jared’s character and stuff like that, but that’s it. I’m honestly scared to check Twitter, and there is almost fuck all on YouTube. Most videos on there are from at least 13 years ago and are just clips of the movie and things like that. The most recent one I can find is the Dead Meat podcast from 4-5 years ago, along with a few clip/compilation videos from the past 2 years. That’s it. Even adding Bon Jovi to the search doesn’t give you anything else. I can only find two interviews of the cast talking about it and they both seem like clips of a larger thing, and not in the way interviews are normally cut up.

Like, I’m not saying it’s earned a bigger following or anything. I just need to see someone else acknowledge it. It’s been so forgotten that there are only 10 works for it on Ao3. I know Cry_Wolf is four years older than the site, but it’s also a movie with Jared Padalecki and Jon Bon Jovi in it. I actually checked how many works they have, not characters just the actual human men, to compare. It’s 15,380 and 641 respectively. Those are some big-boy numbers and the movie only cracked double-digits this year. Six of the Cry_Wolf fics are by three people, and I think one of those was written as a sort of joke.

I feel like I’m losing my mind. Like, obviously this movie exists, there is at least some evidence on the internet and I’ve watched the real fucking deal. I didn’t even like the fucking movie, I just feel like I’m losing my mind. I need someone to acknowledge that this thing happened, and that almost everyone who knew of it before was not, in fact, switched out with a double who has no knowledge of Cry_Wolf a few years ago. Because that’s what it feels like!

Just… This movie almost doesn’t exist anymore. And that is fucking weird.

#original #jabari #slasher #slasher movie #slasher movies #2000s slasher #2000s slashers #mid 2000s slasher #mid 2000s slashers #cry_wolf #cry wolf #bon jovi #2000s horror #horror #horror movie #horror movies #slashers

[raulf-o]

The Paradox of Change

Change happens with you or without you

Change, a thing that we have grappled with over the years, hell, since we’ve ever existed. Whether it’s politics or philosophy, whether we applied our thoughts regarding change or not, that one thing has always been debated, for better or for worse. But, as I developed my sense of the world and the sense of morality, for me change is a given. Whether you look at the history of man kind, the history of nature or even the universe, one thing is constant, change. This applies to people as well, whether we are talking at a global scale, a national scale, a societal scale, the scale of friendships and families over the years, and even at a very personal level, change is there constantly. You can fight change, you can try to keep the same, it won’t work. Change is going to happen with or without your consent. And I’m not even talking politically. You clothes, if you wear them they will degrade with time, that’s a change. You phone, the more you use it, the more it will degrade whether you want it or not. It all depends how much care you take of it. The same applies to your body as well. Yes, you can not control the prices of food, the external pressures or the actions of others, but you can still try to exercise, try to eat the best you can, incite a revolution, socialize, go out for a walk, topple the government, get a pet, you know… Stuff that might keep you healthier for longer. But even if you try your best to stay in the best shape, your body will change with or without your consent, for now, and you have no choice regarding that.

On a grander scale, this is what makes change scary for most people. This is one of the many dumb reasons people find conservatism so soothing, it’s the illusion of keeping things as they are, even if they do not care or want to participate in the violence of said system. These people have it well enough that change scares them into thinking that they might lose the peace and stability they have. They never had to think of change, because things always worked out for them and the changes they had to make were within the boundaries of said system. Yet it doesn’t make sense, because even those systems changed drastically. (The reasons they changed and how is a topic for another day.) Things improved, things changed, things were invented that made life easier. And inventions usually are changes to the world as we know it, especially those that have a broad impact. Like sliced bread, LSD, pornography or the internet, these inventions changed the world in some aspects, which we can’t take back anymore. And I doubt that any sane person would argue today that we should abolish these things and go back to the way things were before. So change is inescapable at every single level of your life. You progress whether you want it or not, you change whether you want it or not. The only thing you can do is either be a bystander and let it all go by you… Or be part of the change and have a positive impact…

Otherwise the world will leave you behind if you won’t participate in it, and this is not a hyperbole. If you never change, the world will change. Those around you will change and will leave you behind. And usually people like that will victimize themselves and will find solace in other people that are like them, stuck. Change is going to happen to you whether you want it or not. So there’s no reason to resist it. If you won’t change willingly, you’ll change unwillingly, that’s the paradox of change. If you remain the same person you were 3-5-10-15 years ago, as people around you progress, you will regress, which is still a change. And there is no positive connotation for regression. As I said, you can either be active in that change and take control, or you can let it be and regress as the world changes and progresses without you. And if you do not believe me, look at the things you feel good about in your life. They are the things where you’ve changed, you’ve gotten better at, you’ve truly learned about in depth. They won’t be the things you got stuck in and never changed. Because there is no such thing as no change… Everything changes… If you won’t… You’ll be worse for it…

#Nobody The Blog #Paradox of Change

[cf56]

I’m getting real sick of just trying to look up some nostalgic cartoon on YouTube and getting confronted with droves of comments exclusively talking about how it compares to the cartoons of today, how everything made today sucks. I recently looked up the intro to Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, one of my favorite shows of all time. I wanted to go to the comments to see some other people’s good memories of the show, share in our fandom, but trying to find a single positive comment about the show that didn’t simultaneously mention and insult current cartoons was like searching for a needle in a haystack. (That specific video has since been deleted, so unfortunately I can’t link it to show what I’m talking about.) And it was all people like me, around my age, who grew up watching this show. I was quickly taken from an appreciative, nostalgic mood to a bitter one- they brought me down to their level. It was my breaking point on this issue.

I’ve never been able to understand this mindset. Has my generation already forgotten the endless smug mockery we suffered at the hands of 90’s kids, who insisted that nothing good was ever made outside that golden decade? It wasn’t that long ago- in fact, it still happens. Yet so many of us have turned around and begun doing the exact same thing to the current generation. I don’t get it. It wasn’t true then and it isn’t true now.

In my personal opinion, some of the greatest cartoons of all time have been made in the last 5-10 years. Even if you don’t agree, what’s the point in trying to put down today’s kids for watching stuff they enjoy? It doesn’t help celebrate the cartoons of our time. It just creates an aura of negativity, taking focus away from the good things we had and putting it on the things you dislike. The only reasons you think old cartoons were better are:

1. You only remember the good ones. Seriously, who remembers stuff like Coconut Fred’s Fruit Salad Island? No one, because it sucked. Sorry, Rob Paulsen, but even he agrees with me. Every decade has its fair share of bad and awful cartoons, but those are the ones that get forgotten the most as time goes on, making it seem like past decades had nothing but good stuff, which is never the case.

2. Pure nostalgia. Nostalgia is real, and, combined with the fact that you were probably just less naturally critical when you were a kid, of course you’re going to remember the things from your childhood more fondly than most things you watch as an adult.

3. Simply being out of touch. No generation shares exactly the same sense of humor as the last. That doesn’t mean that their shows are less funny, just that it’s more catered to its audience, which it should be.

Using the good memories we have from our childhood shows and using them to put down modern audiences does nothing but tarnish the legacy of the shows we revere so much. Why can’t we use our shared love of cartoons as a way to unite across generations, instead of divide them? We may not all like exactly the same things, but we can all relate to that feeling of sitting down and enjoying a show we love. The internet in general would be a much more tolerable place if we all focused more on the things we like rather than the things we hate.

#cartoons #cartoon #2000s cartoons #animation #cartoon network #foster's home for imaginary friends #generation z #gen z #childhood cartoons #cfposts