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#is that how you spell anxiety
front-facing-pokemon · 9 months
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rosemaze-reveries · 5 months
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fellow's unique magic: "life is fun" / a rose-colored dream (makes people a little more optimistic)
he reminds me sm of the little match girl 😢
reality has made him bitter now but something had to have awakened that spell ... i wonder if it was first used on gidel, or if it was just a wish for himself
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Oh no I am an anxious wreck once again. What now?
Here are a few tipps and tricks that help me personally to deal with anxiety (plus some I know work for others). Please feel free to add your own coping mechanisms in the notes!!!! Even though I technically know means to calm myself down, I always forget everything when I'm in the thick of it, so while this is mainly a reminder for myself I hope this list can help at least one other person as well :)
First of all: emotions are hard, and they are overwhelming, and shaming yourself will not make it better. Chances are it will make everything worse, actually. So don't you dare feel bad for needing help even with the "easy" stuff, or for not being able to endure as much as your peers, or even for half-assing stuff sometimes. It's fine. Like, for real. I promise it's okay. You don't need to always be at your best. You don't even need to be at your best most of the time.
What helps me personally is imagining that these struggles are affecting another person close to me. If my best friend were to call me because she needs help answering an E-Mail, or even to cancel last minute because she feels too overwhelmed to leave her house right now, I would never make her feel like crap because of it or talk about her behind her back or anything else your brain may be trying to convince you of. I know that she is at least as good a person as me (probably better tbh), so if I wouldn't do any of that, she certainly would never. In fact, believing these thoughts is actually a disservice to her, who did nothing to deserve these mean remarks (quite the opposite actually). Basically, try to twist and out-logic your own brain into being less of a cunt to you. Try guilt-tripping yourself into being kinder. The bad emotions are there anyways, might as well use them to your advantage. I can speak from experience that being anxious is a bit less unbearable if you aren't being a self-obsessed asshole on top of everything else
JUST FUCKING DO IT
If the source of your anxiety isn't a particular task you have been procrastinating on, or is something you can't just do whenever (f. ex. a job interview that's two days away), feel free to skip this part ^^
If you are still here: I know it can feel like actual hell to just do the thing. If you immediately want to click away after seeing this title I don't blame you. I mean, I am currently writing a huge ass post about anxiety instead of answering the two (2) E-Mails literally making my hands tremble. But the truth is, doing the thing is actually never as bad as it seems. Here's some stuff that maybe can help:
-> Remember that it's never been the end of the world before, so surely it won't start being it now. If you've already been through a similar situation: remember that it isn't the first time you've felt this way; remember that doing the thing wasn't as bad as you'd feared and, most importantly; remember how you felt after doing it. If this is the first time you feel like that, I'm sorry. I promise you aren't stupid for "overreacting", and I promise it will feel at least a little bit better if you just get it over with. And when you've managed the first time, you can now use that as an example instead of taking some stranger on the internet on his word. Worst comes to worst, you can still anon hate me (jk please don't)
-> Rewarding yourself. Remember that putting yourself down tends to make things worse. Allow yourself to be proud for your achievements, yes even the small ones that most people barely even think about. Because sometimes shit is just hard, but you still did it, and that's fucking awesome !!! For me personally just the knowledge that my anxiety will lessen (and I will probably get some good sleep - emotions are so fucking exhausting) is enough most of the time, but you can also give yourself a little treat afterwards. You've earned it!
-> Hide it in between chill tasks. Like right now, I'm writing this instead of my fucking E-Mail. I am a bit calmer since this is distracting myself from the daunting task of typing a few words. So I am now going to open my mails on another tab, type this shit, and send it. And I know that when I did that I will feel better about myself. And even if I fuck up somehow (how you ask? i don't fucking know), I will immediately have this task to come back to so I don't have the chance to overthink it. I FUCKING DID IT I AM THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD
-> If you have a bunch of stuff you swore yourself you would do (a bunch can also mean like 2 btw) starting can seem even more daunting (even if it is, as aforementioned, "only" two). So I am very happy to present written lists my absolute beloved. In my experience, stuff is a lot less overwhelming if it isn't only living inside your head. You get a feeling of accomplishment when you can cross something off your list. You don't have to keep panicking about forgetting something (since everything is already written down on your list.) You can even break down bigger tasks into smaller more manegeable ones (f. ex. instead of "clean your room" -> "1. do your bed; 2. fold your clothes; 3. etc etc".) It's great because even if you don't manage the entire big task you still feel less like a failure since you've got proof of all the small accomplishments you did manage. Plus it's easier to continue on another day since you know exactly what you have to do and have proof of everything you already managed as a motivator.
-> Accept help. Be on the phone with a friend while doing the thing (if possible, of course). Ask your friends to be your hypeman before and after doing the thing. Get reassurance from other people. Go to your friend's house to ask them to read your E-Mails, summarize them verbally, and then type an appropriate answer for you (can you already tell me and electronic mail aren't in the best of terms?) Making things harder on yourself on purpose isn't being strong it's being stupid
-> already mentioned it a bunch of times, I know, but the thing that really helps for me is comparing with past experiences. I know I will feel better after I do it because that's always what happens when my brain blows things out of proportion. I know I can do this because I did even scarier stuff and it went well. Or even: if I manage to do this seemingly super scary thing, I will be able to use it as a motivator for smaller stuff in the future. I mean, what even is a fucking E-Mail in comparison to going to a social event on your own ??! (seriously, do it. in my experience it's surprisingly easy to find friends if you look pathetic enough, plus a lot of things seem a bit less paralyzing in comparison)
-> I turn it into a competition, or a game. If I do the thing I win. If I don't do the thing the anxiety wins. And I refuse to let that happen because I'm competitive AND a sore loser <3 so I do the thing. and then I feel a bit better
JUST DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. THINKING IS THE ANTITHESIS OF DOING. (which you can also use to your advantage, à la better to think about that unhealthy coping mechanism and why you shouldn't do it than to stop thinking about it and actually doing it instead. But that isn't the point right now)
DISTRACTIONS
Sometimes there just isn't anything you can do. Sometimes all you can do is wait. Sometimes you don't even know why the fuck you're feeling like that. And that fucking sucks.
I know there are some people who need an absence of stimuli in order to calm down. (If that's you, please leave some of your own pointers in the notes! I don't really have any ideas for that one tbh)
For me, the opposite is the case. I can't count the times my mom has told me to "try meditating!" or "don't do more than one thing at the same time it'll only stress you out even more!", unaware that giving my thoughts free reign would make everything so much worse.
I need to overwhelm myself in order to be able to forget about my anxiety for a while. Sometimes doing a task I've been dreading is easier after distracting myself for a few hours (being anxious is very tiring so if you let it run its course in the back of your mind for a while you'll have less energy for it later ^^). Here's some stuff that could help (though it should be noted that a) not everything will work on everyone and b) sometimes it just doesn't work. even if it worked the last five times. Don't ask me why it is what it is):
-> Do something (really anything) while listening to a video essay/podcast/audiobook. That's my go-to classic. Feel your mind slipping away from whatever you're doing? Force yourself to really listen to what is being said. Sometimes it helps to mouth the words along to my audio of choice (while still doing your thing at the same time!!) Speed it up (I've usually got my stuff at 1.75x or 2x). Assume that pretty much everything listed below can be done while having this as a second layer of distraction
-> Learn something new. I was literally just teaching myself the tabs for Every Breath You Take by The Police and 26 by Paramore on the guitar before starting this. I tried learning finnish and irish for a while there (learning vocabulary, trying to translate sth, learning grammar, etc.). Sometimes it can take a bit of time to get into it, but once you're there it's easy to lose yourself in it (in my experience at least.) And you can always start another video essay in the background!
-> Baking. I usually do half or fourth the recipe to a.) waste less ingredients; b.) have less stuff to eat so you can go bake more stuff sooner; and c.) feel less bad if it doesn't turn out how you hoped. Plus you can also make yourself more likeable by giving some to your neighbours ;)
-> Comfort book/series/movie/etc. I'll be honest, this one almost never works for me, but I know that for some people it does so on the list it goes
-> Take a walk. Touch some grass. Go outside. Personally have very mixed feelings towards this one. Used to do it all the time during lockdown (walking nowhere for literal hours while listening to music), but when it doesn't help it makes things much much worse (in my experience) So maybe be a bit careful? If you want to get away from your thoughts this is...bad. But otherwise (like if you just have the feeling of anxiety without a specific reason) it's worth a try
-> Do maths. I'm serious. For a while there I couldn't sleep, so I'd go on the net, search for equasion exercises, and just go wild. Don't look at the answer: this isn't the point. It's something with a fixed procedure and no consequences if you mess up (you won't even know if you mess up). Maybe instead of equations you find long division more relaxing. Just try not to think of school, put the pressure away, and give it a go.
-> Go to your comfort place. This is also a bit of a tricky one. First of all, not everyone has one of those. Or maybe you can't really go there (like, I always calm down when I'm at the beach. I adore the ocean. But I don't have sea anywhere near me, so sucks to be me i guess). But if you do have a place near you it's worth a try. Sometimes after a particular stressful therapy session i just...go chill at the library for a while. It helps :)
-> Blorbo scrolling. I personally prefer looking at a bunch of art and comics (visual stuff) since i don't really have the concentration to read when I'm anxious, but see what works best for you <3
-> Menial tasks. I love them. Sorting stuff that actually doesn't really matter (like taking all your books from your shelves and trying a new way to organize them). The already mentioned maths exercises. Washing the dishes/putting them back in their place (you can combine that one with the baking hehe). Volunteering work can also be pretty helpful: they often need help with menial tasks plus you can feel good about yourself for helping. Recently started helping at my local animal shelter and it's actually pretty great !
-> Sports. I personally hate sports and always feel worse afterwards, but so many people talk about it that it must be of help to someone out there. What I used to do when I got suddenly overrun by emotions is taking my skipping rope and jumping as fast as I physically could til I felt a bit better (and sweaty ew)
-> Sometimes I like starting a small project; depending on the mood either with no pressure to finish (or intention to show anyone ever because eww), or posting it in hope for praise that'll make me feel a bit better about myself heh. Just something else I can focus on. (ex. g. I've got a meeting I'm nervous about tomorrow so I started writing this huge-ass post) Just remember: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GOOD!! JUST CREATE! I PROMISE BEING CREATIVE AND/OR DOING STUFF IS AWESOME!! (or if nothing else at least frustrating enough to overshadow the anxiety lol)
-> In the wise words of mother mother: Dance and cry, and cry and dance and cry. (And sing. And scream. Or get out that skipping rope. Just let it out my dude.)
-> Watch a show in a foreign language faster (like 2x speed) and with subtitles (less time to read, more required focus, less brain power to panic)
-> immersive reading (audio + text); especially effective if you do it in a language you are currently learning or one that is similar (but not the same!) to your native tongue (f. ex. portuguese and spanish)
-> Try sleeping. Doesn't always work, but at least it wastes time.
I THINK I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A PANIC/ANXIETY ATTACK
-> Strong sudden stimulant. Like smelling a very strong perfume or taking a freezing shower.
-> Just. Let it wash over you. It sucks, yes, but it'll be over. Try keeping calm. I know, easy to say when you yourself aren't currently going through it, but anxiety about a future attack will not, in fact, make things less worse. Once again, remembering past attacks can help as well? It didn't kill you then, it won't kill you now. (My therapist suggested using a mental image, like huge waves or something. I personally don't do that but maybe it'll help)
-> Cover your ears and listen to your heart. Key point: this is NOT aiming to drown out noise, but to ground yourself by listening to your own body (bloodstream and creaking bones etc) (ty anon <3)
-> I'm not sure whether this'll work with panic attacks as well (according to google one of the key differences is that these don't really have a trigger and just....happen) and it probably won't be viable in every situation. But just. Be enough of a spiteful little shit to turn your breakdown into a powermove. (The distressing emotions are there anyways might as well make use of them). You told your teacher you get extreme anxiety when you have to speak in public and they ignored you because the school system actually hates kids? Look them right in the eyes as you start hysterically sobbing so they feel really bad, maybe be extra subdued the next few lessons. As far as you know it'll get you a few pity points that'll make a difference in your overall grade! (Pretty sure I got a better grade in my arts finals than i deserved) Someone knowingly breaks a boundary you set because "oh you've been doing so well" and "it's an irrational fear so it isn't real anyways" or whatever they tell themselves to justify it? This is your chance to make them really see how what they did is wrong (and hopefully will make them think twice before pulling shit like that again). If you warned them, they are literally asking for it. And it'll seem that much more impressive when you are having a good day for once and manage to get through it without one (you've earned that extra credit). Maybe I'm just a bit of a vindictive person, but reframing the narrative like that in my head gives me some semblance of control, which makes it all a bit less scary.
IT DIDN'T FIT ANYWHERE ELSE BUT IS STILL IMPORTAT
This is mostly me reminding myself that it's fine tbh. Because it is.
-> Remember that you can just do shit. I don't know how else to say this, but sometimes my anxiety makes it feel like hiding away in my room is my only option. But that's not true! There is so much stuff you can do, I'm always in awe for a while when I get this through my thick skull once again. Like, you can just go to places. You can just write to your friends. You can just start a chat with that cool mutual you're too nervous to directly interact with. You can move. You can change jobs. You can redecorate your house. You can get into a random train and only get out at the last station, wherever that may be. YOU CAN JUST DO SHIT?!?!?! ISN'T THAT FUCKING AWESOME?!!!!!!!!
-> Extreme emotions can have unpleasant physical side effects. Sweating. Body odor. No appetite and/or extreme hunger cravings (sometimes at the same time??). Diarrhea. It sucks (especially when it continues on for multiple days and your oh so kind peers make sure to constantly remind you of those physical symptoms you are already overly aware of). But it's normal and it's fine. It doesn't make you gross, I promise.
-> THIS TOO SHALL PASS (that's it. Sometimes it's good to remind yourself. This too shall pass.)
-> Sometimes I just do small harmless shit to prove my anxious lizard brain wrong. Randomly say hi on that group chat you haven't entered for months. Create something you aren't really happy with and post it anyways, just cuz you can. Go do something on your own. The more you prove your fears wrong with little things like that, the easier it gets (especially if you have to do bigger scary stuff). Spite can be your best friend. (Plus easy way to gain more points in my mental competition hehehe)
-> Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you will fuck up. You will barely be able to say a word in the social event you forced yourself to go in order to meet cool people. You will be so obviously anxious at your friend's birthday that she will still remember that over a year later (despite your best efforts to hide it at the time). You will get an anxiety attack because of something you thought you had already gotten over months ago. And it sucks, but more importantly, it's fine. This too shall pass. This is another reason why the previous point is so important: it's harder to hold these incidents over your head if you have so many other experiences where you managed to prove yourself.
-> YOU get to decide when you want to try confronting a fear. Nobody else can do that for you, no matter how often they mention "exposure therapy" and shit (it's about the control once again. in my experience it's important for it to be your choice). Occasionally hiding away doesn't make you a failure. There are always more chances, it's never too late to start. Already mentioned it a bazillion times, but this shit is exhausting and you are well within your right to stay in your comfort zone and rest.
-> I don't know if it's just a me thing but self reminder to avoid lactose and gluten when overly anxious. (i never do but i am aware of it that should count for something)
-> gender-affirming stuff can help ^^
-> Not viable to everybody, but sometimes I just delete all social media from my phone. You can still go there through browser of course (that's where I'm actually currently writing this) but just not having the icon on the phone can already feel somewhat of a relief (social media in this case also including messaging apps like discord or WhatsApp or fucking electronic mail my beloathed). That's actually what I am planning to do immediately after posting this thing that came out a bit more personal and stream-of-conscousness than initially planned. You won't even be able to tell cuz I never tag my queues hehehe
-> mentally dunking my stupid anxious lizard brain into salt water rn. Fuck you. I'm posting this. I'm leaving my house tomorrow instead of calling in sick. I'm winning.
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jasontoddssuper · 1 year
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Some people defend the 'Percy has a thing for blondes' headcanon by saying it's not racist because poc can be naturally blonde so i went through in my head which characters they've applied the hc to and the number of them that are poc is...well...not very high,to say the least
@1clown1 @leo-thecactus
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malyen0retsev · 2 years
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i feel like gen z need to be sat down and explicitly told it is ABSOLUTELY OK to say the wrong thing and do the wrong thing sometimes. growing up actually means fucking up, and if you spend your whole life paranoid of being ‘problematic’ then you are legitimately going to drive yourself into an anxiety induced meltdown. watching or reading ‘problematic’ media does not make you a bad person, and tbfh sometimes watching or reading said media (provided you keep your analytical brain switched on) is a good thing to do. because just as we learn by seeing what’s right to do, we also learn by seeing what’s not right to do. 
and without wishing to sound horrendously horrendously ‘i am in my mid twenties’, you don’t need to let the entire world know what you’re watching and reading. you actually don’t need to let the entire world know a damn thing about you, and i feel like a lot of the anxiety i see from gen-z online is this terror of being called problematic precisely because the boundaries for oversharing are next to non-existent. growing and changing and learning are a fundamental part of being a teenager, and you will say and do ‘problematic’ shit which will make you cringe in your twenties, and that’s absolutely ok because you will have learned from it. 
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dark-falz · 9 months
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And here's the new PSO inspired magic circle I wrote! (that's tailored to specifics that I'm not getting into) As well as the traditional Algolian seal (I've broken down a bit of it here) and the first magic circle I built
I'M GETTING MUCH QUICKER AT THIS!
I drew every symbol instead this time, I find it to be the one thing easier to draw on tablet than paper, I think I'll go back to the other method next time tho it looks neater.
Ok into a bit on how its wrote/the magic building for those curious :3
So I went over a bit on it yesterday but here's the full circle that there was no way I was fitting in that tiny space.
Magic Circles are now the thing I study when I'm having my after work drink at the bar ^^;
The 3 outer circles (I keep referring to as Muut Ditts Poumn circles) while they all hold the main energies, they're all lions :3 The alchemy symbols for essence pokes out of them and toward the middle text. Leo as well as the 2 Divine beings, each associated with the Sun and the Moon. In the outer ring, where the Photon Blasts would be listed, I have other Gods that represent different phases of the Sun and the Moon, Moon Gods being separated by the female end of the ankh, as the moon is of feminine mother energy against the masculine father energy of Leo's ruler, the Sun. Sun gods border the rising & moon signs of the initiator. I probably put a bit more time into the order of the names in the ring, but PSO isn't actually conjuring magic outside our hearts and is allowed to be whatever about that.
I'd also only use the Ankh with Egyptian Gods as I only work with them aside from "celestial bodies". There is more detail on the significance of the ankh in the first post. The reason its positioned sideways is I learned horizontal lines can be a negative aspect, where as vertical lines are always positive. I still have a horizontal line in this, but with it being only one, the numerology plays in to it enough, I also didn't HAVE to add it but felt it necessary. The magic numbers are 1 and 7.
The Divine are placed in their directions in accordance to the element. Sun to the South for Fire, Moon to the West for Water. Leo is placed east due to the affinitive candle color. East represents air which is the main element of the target.
The alchemical symbols I used aren't all available text symbols, but here's what's there. (I've used so many reference books for these and they don't match each other either it just is what it is I guess)
Top Circle: (Symbols unavailable) Triangle: ♀ Planet - Venus | Metals - ♀ Copper, Brass | Zodiacs - Libra, Taurus Sides: Symbols for crystal and lapis lazuli (Divine specific) Bottom Circle: (Symbols unavailable) Triangle: ♂ Planet - Mars | Metal - ♂ Iron, Brass | Zodiacs - Aries, Scorpio Sides: ☾ Moon | Metal - ☾ Silver | Zodiac - Cancer Steel - Saturn | Metals - ♄ Lead, ♂ Iron, Steel | Zodiacs - Capricorn, Aquarius (steel is Divine specific) Right Circle: (symbols unavailable) Sides: Planet - Sun | Metals - ⊙ Gold, Brass | Zodiac - Leo
I was also able to place the alchemy symbols a bit neater this time because I didn't have odd numbers of them like in the Algolian Seal spell. The circles with the points in the outer circles represent wax, there is also a wick symbol in each of them as well as different things to dress the candles with such as oil, herbs, and fumes.
Sorry its not quite as in depth as the Algolian Seal inspired one, since its more religious sided I figured I'd skip the deeper details. Hope it was a fun read and it helps if u wanna build magic circles one day or something :3
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moregraceful · 8 months
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picture the trope where A rushes up to B at a crowded bar or club and says please please do a me a favor and kiss me/act like my date to make my ex jealous/make this asshole stop hitting on me/some other urgent reason. who on the Giants, Sharks, and/or Cuda is most likely to be A? who as B is most likely to say sure I got ya? who is most likely to say fuck no? you can answer within each team or across teams, however you like.
omg well first of all I would be remiss in admitting that I sort of wrote this fic with Kris Bryant and Brandon Crawford, when I was deep in my Kris Bryant Is A Giant thirst and very foolishly believed Farhan Zaidi did not want me dead in the delta somewhere, BUT it lacked urgency. also it's not very good. but it exists, as a time capsule...
Giants: I truly believe Patrick Bailey is so goofy in private that he doesn't know shit about fuck but he IS good in a crisis, so he cheerfully kisses the hell out of Brett Wisely when Brett begs him to play along to get this asshole off his back. (ig we're going rookies tonight.) conversely Joc Pederson would say fuck no bc I don't trust him and also the Rogers twins would be too confused to play along appropriately but their corpse-like pallor and dead-eyed stares would get the job done just the same. I love them. Anyway I chose Brett Wisely for A bc sometimes he reminds me of a nervous purse dog
Sharks: this was so hard bc I don't actually know who is on the Sharks...I think Oskar Lindblom is still a Shark?? and I think he would be in a club and some guys would get too weird about him AND! controversial opinion, I think he would turn to Mario Ferraro for help bc no one's fucking with a guy with no teeth even if that guy reviews bagels on Youtube. Mario doesn't kiss him but he very possessively puts an arm around Oskar and smiles with zero teeth. Also Vlasic would say no to kissing, but he does start talking so loudly about water filtration and body decomposition that the guys who were getting too wild with Oskar get freaked out and leave them alone. Oskar is A because he is very pretty and often looks startled
Cuda: Daniil Gushchin needs to make his ex jealous...thanks for being my guy, tall Russian guy with a sweet smile <3 Nikolai Knyzhov is not his guy, he does not want this, his sexuality crisis is private and personal, but when a feral little man is climbing him like a tree, what is he going to do honestly. This guy seems like he might bite hard enough to draw blood if Nikolai drops him?? Guess he's gotta kiss him. This is a crossover bc I just looked at the Cuda roster and Kny isn't listed however it's important to me that Goosh and Kny kiss. Also I think Shakir Mukhamadullin would be so startled he would say no but then he would feel really bad and buy Goosh a drink so the ex gets jealous in the end anyway. I also got in at the ground floor of the Artem Guryev hype machine last year at the rookie tournament and I'm determined to get everybody on fuckin board this year now that he's with the team for real, so I'm saying he doesn't say yes to kissing but he does IMMEDIATELY start swinging, which is not what Goosh wanted, but is, in some ways, even better.
Thank you for asking...this made me so happy to think about...
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starpros-sunshine · 4 months
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I love caffeine because headache go poof but also why does the beverage make me sleepy
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nonby-mess · 1 year
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how the heck are you supposed to make friends again,,, how r u supposed to talk to ppl,,, how 2... uhh talk to new people...
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ryderdire · 11 months
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Btw if your one of those people who says people with anxiety are self absorbed and full of themselves bc their worried their beeing juged literally shut the fuck up
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adhd-mode-activate · 2 years
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my peeps I finally went to the doctor and got a prescription for my (now officially diagnosed!) ADHD
OH. MY. GOSH
Can normal people really just do tasks like this?? You REALLY mean that you're just feeling lazy when you don't do something? Not that you physically can't move yourself from one task to another?
what
I feel like I have superpowers
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plaingrumpy · 1 year
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"god I sound like Crona."
*the realization of what i just said and the disastrous implications it has on my mental health in the near future*
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anarchofairy · 1 year
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kinda starting to feel like my anxiety is some sort of spiritual problem rather than a mental health one. like i’ve been in therapy for years and the sharper edges of the disorder have been filed off, but at the core of my being there is just this fear that pervades everything. my therapist doesn’t think i’d meet the criteria for sad/gad/etc anymore, and i don’t relate to the dsm list as much as i did. but like, the fear is still there. i don’t think therapy is gonna be able to touch this one (being said with around four and a half years experience with the process and a genuinely good therapist). the fear comes from somewhere else, and it doesn’t present like a thing i can fight with my brain. the therapy helped - it really did- but i just don’t think i can find the answer in that sphere, i think it’s given me all it can for now. does anyone know what i mean?
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astrxealis · 2 years
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it is so weird being a mentor now ... ;O
( tags got really sentimental at the end WHEEZE beware if you check T___T )
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i like it though !! :O + it looks cool AND i love helping people out hehe#i've been joining a lot of pfs and helping ppl mhmhmhm super fun <3#it's weird though bcs now i see stuff for like ... nier/eden raids First Time/Unsync/Sync wtvr but. Man. i was literally There#it's weird but ?? just in a sentimental way :O like how i now seem like those mentors w rlly nice glams and all ??#that i used to be like Wow at when i was newer to the gave ... then again i'm almost 2 years into this game >< crazy to think honestly#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i do believe that ffxiv's story is something i wish for those i love to try out :'O hehe it made me genuinely overjoyed when my irls started#altho they DO have good taste with one liking persona (3 4 5 and not just 5!!) and the other w. a LOT#including nier and fire emblem and elden ring!! i love them /p they are my bro while the other is my bestie <33#hm. i might get off track so i'll get back onto what i'm actually rambling about GBJSHDBHG#i do savage... ultimates... pvp... gpose and glamour :O i just don't do rp HJSDHGJ not yet at least ><#idk it just. man i'm pROUD OH MY GOD I JUST SAW GAWR GURA IN GAME uh yeah anyways yeah i'm really proud#here i am now literally doing some of the hardest content in game. when back in ... even shb nier e9s etc OH MY GOD...#first time doing e5?? i think it was e5. i literally was on the floor for most of the fight LMAO and back then as drg#i didn't know my goddamn rotation and didn't. use geirskogul (i forgot spelling sorry) until it was time for red dragon phase ... man#and now. yeah!! idk it's sentimental hours :'> wahhhh i'm really proud of myself for coming this far hehe#and i have to thank a lot of it to ffxiv in more ways than one T___T that game really is the epitome of Not Just A Game for me#it's helped w my social anxiety and anxiety and self esteem and inspiration and so much more including my probable. depression#and uhhhhhhh yeah yeah yk what connects to that HAHA so yeah as you can tell endwalker hit me SO hard#literally the only thing i couldn't relate to in endwalker is having lost a loved one bcs i have not yet... but i can. understand yeah :'))#ybghbhshjhbhdb idk i just think i deserve the biggest hug :] and even if no one will give it to me except for myself#i think that's enough. at the very least <333#it's probably not obvious but. i still struggle with those kind of feelings a lot ... but i'm really proud of how strong i am >_<#i think loving yourself isn't really like. necessarily All The Time. i have my downs but generally i'm proud and glad to say that i love me
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prettythcughts · 2 years
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Does anyone else experience that feeling when you're panicky and literally feel like what you would feel if you were like a strecband getting really stretched and you can feel the paranoia creep in and you start to feel really uncomfortable about everything but it's all happening in the background so you're really calm you just feel a little funny. i thought it was anxiety or something but my heartbeat never goes fast or anything so idk what it is 😭
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asteraceaye · 1 year
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Why is it so fucking hard to get evaluated for dyslexia
#im already diagnosed too!!! i just need a reevaluation so i can get accomodations at university#but nooo its all schools and people in my area that do not seem like actual doctors and 'dont bill insurance directly'#hello????#also its all for children!! all the photos are kids and the places i look at only talk about elementary ages#please im an adult 😭 i don't want to drive an hour away to get an evaluation for something i already have documented#its such bullshit that those papers get old#its not like you can cure dyslexia#i still write and spell like shit but at least i have autocorrect and a dictionary on hand at all times#ugh i don't know who to look at for this#im pretty sure im just going to go down to my campus disability center and see if they cant help me#if not the councilors might have an idea#its funny too because i didnt realize you could get accommodations for dyslexia until i was in English 1302 class writing an essay by hand#and was like uhh prof can i use my phone to look up how to spell a word because im dyslexic and hes like oh i didnt see that you had that#and i was like what? you can get one?#anyways this just leads to me saying i want my ass covered in any way especially since im going to have to take more math classes#and oh OH my dyslexia comes out there#catch me flipping numbers left and right and not realizing it until my answer is wrong and i know i did all the steps right#sIGH this is just a long winded mini rant in the tags ajdjbd dont mind me im stressed about transferring#it shouldn't be a problem but i still have anxiety#anyways its a struggle to get diagnosed with dyslexia as an adult who knew#aster rambles
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