#it really is so depressing

[baronessblixen]

1,4,7,16,19 for the asks!

So many! thank you, sweet anon!

Song of the year?

I was obsessed with several songs throughout the year. I think for the longest part it was a song called I Was a Fool by Tom Hugo and Alexandra Rotan. So I'm gonna go with that.

4. Movie of the year?

I didn't watch many movies this year! One I remember fondly is Downton Abbey: A New Era. It was so much fun. A real feel-good movie.

7. Favorite actor of the year?

Oooof. You're asking the difficult questions here 😁I actually don't know. No one comes to mind if I'm honest.

16. Post a picture from the beginning of the year

19. What’re you excited about for next year?

I wish I knew. This is the first year in forever that I have nothing to look forward to. There's absolutely nothing in my future. I hope I will be able to find something I can be excited about.

#lovely anons #it really is so depressing #i think i need to change a few things #cause right now i hate everything #and i'm the only one who can change things i know that #but i'm still in my depressive phase #also i need to figure out what to change and how

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

#star trek #Vulcans #Humans #not based on a specific thing #but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’ #who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field? #like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq #and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first #would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate #and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for #and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance #the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times #they were just dicks #and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it. #it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible #you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier #but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks. #that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on #and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post #but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks #and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be #replaced #hated that couple #if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us #(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀) #liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people #that no one else wanted to be friends with #I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone #this got long sorry 😭

[petscoboba]

I want Toby Fox three years after the last chapter to make a game where it's just the Fun Gang going on a road trip to the east coast to go fishing. They raid a gas station on the way to grabs snacks for the road (and the lobsters they catch). Happy April Fool's.

#deltarune #susie deltarune #noelle deltarune #noelle holiday #kris dreemurr #fishing momence #I have one more page I wanted to draw for this little idea #but i'll have to get to it at a later date when i've got more energy #in reality this idea started as a way for me to draw kris happy after highschool #i relate to kris' lethargy a lot-- so i wanted to see them still trying to make the most of it despite their depressive nature #(perhaps if kris can find a way out maybe i can too?) #it's hard. it's really hard when you feel like you've got really nothing to look towards to #but i hope they can find meaning anyways. i hope they smile one day and i hope it's a real one #pssstt! chronologically this post takes place after another comic i have planned in the midst. it'll take 10 years to complete but one day. #that comic. will not be a happy one #heeeheehoohoo

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

The funny thing about the PJO cabin system is that everyone's always all 'oh the twelve' this and 'the twelve' that but that's absolutely not even remotely accurate. To start, right off the bat it's thirteen, not twelve, because they don't count Hades. But not really because before Percy, there were no big three kids, so we're down to ten active cabins already but it's actually eight because Artemis and Hera don't make demigods.

And of those eight, Mr. D is stuck at camp (thus not really making new demigods all that often) and his only two kids don't even sleep in a cabin, they sleep in the Big House with him.

So, pre-Percy, there are seven active cabins at Camp Half-Blood:

Glee club, the Jocks, the Nerds, the Geeks, the Farmers, the 'Sketchy Kids' and the Popular Kids.

Or, in other words, the Apollo, Ares, Athena, Hephaestus, Demeter, Hermes (and the unclaimed kids) and Aphrodite cabins.

What's cool is that you can already see the cabin dynamics in the show. For example, the Athena cabin allies with the Hermes cabin for the numbers. The Hermes kids plus all the unclaimed kids? It's the biggest cabin in the camp by far. It's a battle strategy. Luke and Annabeth's close relationship is just the cherry on top for Annabeth. It'll be really cool to see how the show develops the differences in the cabins during the series.

#pjo tv show #pjo series #if i remember correctly it's the Hermes cabin then Ares and Apollo in terms of numbers. Aphrodite would probably be next. #but the Athena Hephaestus and Demeter cabins were always under twelve kids. #they state exact numbers in one book... and if you don't want spoilers turn back now #but after the war theres only three Hephaestus kids left so like.... the numbers go real fucking low #the entire camp population plummeta #iactually really fucking depressing watching this camp filled with small tiny children knowing that only a very small fraction of themlive

[ionomycin]

Welcome home

#artists on tumblr #cw blood #i really like drawing wings if it wasn't obvious #drawing has been rough lately though #all the A-I trash going around is so depressing to see #please pick up literally any tool in your hand and create #shape something with your own hands #breathe life into something #it doesn't need to look perfect and polished and photorealistic #literally anything any person has ever drawn with their own hands #has more value than every algorithm generated garbage put together #a vent doodle drawn in the math notebook of a 13 yo girl has infinitely more value #than any stolen blendered together soulless algorithm “creation” #we're humans we create #so just #create #with your own hands and your own ideas

[xiewho]

no time to celebrate

#drew this thinking their bdays were during night yorb summer for some reason #i went looking for the clip midway and when i saw it was the other way around i kinda died a little inside #BUT I AM NOTHING IF NOT COMMITTED !!!! #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #so anyways we can pretend this is a time quangle thing yes yes #they fall asleep making the solar lasso and no one has it in them to wake them up (esp riz) #so the rest of the bad kids leave them stuff for when they wake up #joint birthday party is real and depressing ! but not really ! the power of friendship is still very real #dont ask me the logistics of the hangvan interior ill die #i dont wanna thnk about this piece anymore it aged me 10 years #my art

[maranull]

anyway, Elden Ring is about love and hope

Marika burns everything she has build out of sorrow

Ranni banishes the Outer Gods and also fucks off the Lands, giving agency back to the normal beings of the Lands

Fortissax endlessly fights Death for his friend/lover

Melina burns herself and Erdtree in hopes of a better world in the hands of the Tarnished

Blaidd fights against the very reason he was created out of love for his sister

Ranni and Rykard always keep an eye on their mother, protecting her

Radahn evokes so much love from his troops that they organise a whole festival to give him a honorable death even in his madness

Radahn learns an entire new school of magic in order to still ride his favourite horse

Boc's love for his mother, his mother's love for him

How all but two endings are build on the hope that this new era (whatever it might be) will be good

Miquella attempting to create an whole new world-tree to host the forsaken and the damned

Miquella turning on the faith he was raised and even believed in to an extent, when it was unable to cure his sister's curse

The Cleanrot's loyalty to Malenia and their endurance of the Rot, only to stay in her service

Malenia marching through the entire continent in search of her brother

Finlay traveling all the way back on her own, carrying the incapacitated demigod on her back

Tanith's love for Rya

Dialos' entire questline

Edgar being driven mad after his daughter dies

Vyke embracing, to a point, the Frenzied Flame in order to save his finger maiden

or you know, that's just how I see it

#elden ring #i'm simplifying a lot in this #but that's the story #to me #it follows the pattern of the ds series too #where the world was miserable and depressing #yet the main theme was hope and perseverance #with elden ring we got so many more characters and as such love began playing a bigger part too #and you can't really have interesting characters without their actions being driven by love and hope #or lack thereof #even power-hungry characters are driven by the hope of reaching the power “level” they want #and hateful ones are driven by lack of love #or so i think

[cozylittleartblog]

power of potluck !

#ena #joel g #ena joel g #ena fanart #power of potluck #art #artists on tumblr #digital art #bites my tongue really hard so i don't say 'mid art' again. ... aw fuc- #anyway the new short. i liked it a lot i keep thinking about it #it feels like a metaphor for depression and i feel that a lot #i might draw the cool rabbit lady too

[bittwitchy]

some new sad girl guy spring dialogue for sebby!

also bonus bc its summer 13 now and i already gave him a bouquet

#I was at 5 hearts on spring day 23 year 1 #as it turns out if you're lucky you can get a ton of flounder really early now to give him a lot of liked gifts #i'm like 99% sure these are new #i dont recall seeing them before with OR without mods #I'm playing without mods rn tho #stardew valley #sebastian stardew valley #sdv spoilers #1.6 spoilers #1.6 update #stardew valley 1.6 #sdv 1.6 #like every time i've asked seb out before its been 'i cant believe you feel the same way' so like #i'm FAIRLY positive this is new #or i've just never been lucky enough to get alternative dialogue #MY GUYYYYY #depression cw #1k

[taxinealkaloids]

i love the tower princes. i love that there’s absolutely no way in hell that this friendship is even remotely good for either of them. love that they assuredly are making each other SO much worse with every second they spend together. 

#tlt #the locked tomb #ntn spoilers #my art #anyway ever think about how the empire of the nine houses is pretty much singlehandedly being run by ianthe #and not only are the 2 people who are supposed to outrank her no help at all #they're actually actively detrimental to the empire's functioning as they are both deep in their depression spirals #and won't stop trying to start the apocalypse like they wanna start the apocalypse so BAD!! and ianthe doesn't even want to #be saving the world. girl wants to be villainous. she's stopping the apocalypse with an air of 'UGH i have to do EVERYTHING around here' #you really can't blame her for needing a chew toy. luckily kiriona is right there and she's basically a professional chew toy. #she's used to it. who knows what she'd even do with herself if no one was chomping on her. so it works out!! (not)

[strawbie-doodle]

havent drawn all of them in a WHILE ✸

#critical role #bells hells #critrole #ashton greymoore #orym of the air ashari #imogen temult #chetney pock o'pea #fearne calloway #laudna #fresh cut grass #bell's hells #art #my art #almost gave up on this so many times #but that chet wolf and side profile ashton were just too good to give up on #and as always fearne looks so good #really proud of the imogen here too i think she looks so cute #i had to redraw her so many times im so bad at drawing her :[ #ANYWAY HI I FINALLY MAKE ART AND POST IT #been having the worst art block ever :( #its made me so depressed and then i got even more depressed cuz i wasnt being productive but i couldnt do anything cuz i was depressed #:((( why does my hobby make me sad and want to quit #um anyways did you guys watch that new dungmeshi episode #the tonal whiplash was fucking crazy i loved it

[barghest-land]

drew arthur with a little friend. they're talking about life and death

#rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #barghestland #arthur morgan #art #artists on tumblr #this week life was so fucking horrible i'm on the edge of having a little breakdown #and when im sad and stressed and done with life i just draw arthur #cuz his depressed ass would understand #u know.. yeah :( #i hope whoever reads it is having a better time #if u want u can tell me smth nice in tags or anywhere really<3 #like tell me silly names of ur pets or facts about ur favorite bugs #i'd be happy to hear that

[chrollohearttags]

you ever get the feeling that you’re not really liked but just kinda tolerated?…like you don’t really belong anywhere and you’re just kinda always on the outside but you don’t fit in or wtv.

#just me? okay #this prolly my hormones talking anyways #I’ve always hated that corny ass term popular loner but that’s what it feels like #like I’ve always loved my friends and stuff but no matter what I’ve always felt like I wasn’t as close as everybody else #and I’ve never really had like a bestie or anything so I’m just kinda sitting here like 🧍🏾‍♀️ #I literally feel like this with my own family and it’s the weirdest feeling ever #cherry chats 🍒 #this app is a mess #but it is free and therapy is not so ignore my late night depression rant

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[sad-leon]

TW Suicide Attempt

we all talk about him portal chopping an arm off but,,, it would be so easy. so quick

KoFi || Patreon

#sad•leonart #really putting the sad in sad-leon recently lasdjalsdf #tw suicide attempt #cw suicide attempt #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #this is older but i figured i'd share #i have literally nothing else #tsob epilogue is still a wip and my other big things i gotta make are secret santa gifts #also in true tsob fashion #i keep thinking of animatic ideas while doing lineart #idk when i'll post this but im not giving up yet #i have more people i wanna meet #almost posted this yesterday but. didnt wanna ruin the vibes. #sorry for being so depressing but also people seem to like when i post the sad blue turtle so. yeah

[teaboot]

I used to dream of finding Home.

Somewhere between my tweens and my teens, the house my family lived in stopped feeling like a comfortable pocket where I belonged and started feeling more like a roomshare with strangers.

I'd read a lot of books. A lot of stories about outsiders and misfits who fell into grand adventures that led them into perfect little keyhole they were destined to slide into. I thought that someday, in a much less exciting or eventful way, the same would happen to me. If I worked very hard to be good and kind and forgiving then I'd stumble into Home.

It never happened.

I moved from town to city to country, and didn't find it. Every building felt the same, no matter how long I stayed. None of them felt natural, or easy, or safe.

I was living in a dilapidated loft above a busted-out mortuary when I figured it out.

No running water. No heat. No AC. No furniture or mattress or internet, and a dusty bathroom with a broken toilet and a sink inexplicably pre-filled with cigarette butts, and it finally clicked.

I ripped out the old carpet. Swept the floors. Taped the sun out of the windows with foil and foam and big black garbage bags. Cleaned off an old shelf, stole a cot, piled all my blankets on top of it, painted pictures and taped them to the walls and spray-painted a mural and leaned a tarnished old mirror up against the wall.

I found a room divider in an old office room and took a lamp left out with the trash and set up an empty coffee pot with cheap silk flowers. Hung a shower curtain in the morgue and turned a storage bin into a bath and hooked my towel on a loose nail stuck into the wall.

And when I left, and left everything behind, I found another little empty hole in the world and did it all over again.

That's something I don't think I could have learned from all my stories. It's not something very interesting to read about, some lonely stranger puttering about by themselves in a hot, dark room. But it's important to share it, I think, so I've done my best.

I think that a Place is a beast, and to make it a Home, you have to dig in your claws and fight for it, tooth and nail.

Then, once you've tired it out, string up lights below it's ribcage and pet it nice between the ears until it purrs.

#My home was depressing when the last owner hated living here #But I refuse to feel like a person in a house #So I love it as best I can #And now when I have company they tell me that it's beautiful #And it is #It really is