#it would make the sibling dynamics so much funnier please

[a-n-conrad]

Pet (Karl Heisenberg x Reader)

[Summary: After being gifted to Heisenberg, you manage to survive his games. From there you start to develop an interesting relationship. And as you start to play the role of his pet, things get a bit interesting. (She/Her pronouns)

Warnings: SMUT, unhealthy relationship dynamics, Author belongs in horny jail, Reader has “female” anatomy, themes of pet play, swearing, biting (Blood), reader is losing her sanity a bit, spanking, oral (both receiving), hair pulling, unprotected penetrative (vaginal) sex

Request: Literally, not a single person asked for this. You only have me to blame.]

You felt a bit foolish, being in the situation you were in. You had been one of the people gifted to the “Lords” of the village to do with as they pleased by Mother Miranda. You had to admit, when you were frightened, even more so when you were handed over to the infamous “mad wolf-man”. He had quite the reputation. But unlike the others, you had proven yourself useful enough for him to keep you around, instead of experimenting on you or feeding you to his lycans.

You survived at first by staying out of his way. It was like a game to him. Heisenberg liked games, and you adapted to them rather quickly. At first, the game was to be the perfect assistant. You’d clean, cook, do minor repairs, and stay out of his way as needed. You were there when he needed you to do something, you’d do it perfectly, and then you’d be out of his sight. And he’d try to catch you slipping up, making you nervous with whispered promises of the punishments that awaited you if you did.

It was an odd dance, having to learn the ins and outs of Heisenberg’s moods. Learning how to tell when he was in a bad mood, and when he was in the mood to joke. And as time went on, it seemed that there were more days when he was in the mood to sit and banter with you. And you started to bond a bit, less as captor and captive, and more as something close to friends, though you wouldn’t necessarily call it friendship.

Eventually, he started to grow a bit fond of you, occasionally joking with you that he had started to see you as a pet. He’d grin a bit as he called you pet names, names that were somewhere between affectionate and demeaning. He’d pat your head, like he was praising a dog, when you did something right. He had even joked about making you a collar to show the rest of the Lords that you were his pet.

You knew you probably should’ve hated it. You should’ve gagged at the idea of a collar, and you should’ve hated his pet names. But you didn’t. You found yourself grinning when he called you a “good girl”. You leaned into his touch when he’d pat your head. You could feel yourself losing your sanity. You had to be insane to feel this way, but as you got to know Heisenberg, you found yourself feeling as though it was worth it.

Karl Heisenberg was an interesting man, and one you had to admit that you were fascinated by. He had a biting form of humor that had become much funnier as you realized you weren’t in the danger that you thought you were, and you could hear the intelligence behind it. His jokes were always at least a little clever, as long as he could keep his head. He was complex, with motivations and actions that didn’t always match. And his emotions were so complicated that you were pretty sure he hadn’t even started sorting through them, choosing to instead deny their existence.

He was a mess of a man. He got mad enough to throw metal scraps of rusted metal around the room when an experiment went wrong. He’d rant for hours about the issues he had with his “family”, having to hold himself back from breaking things when he got to Alcina. He felt as trapped as you did. He thought of letting his appearance go as an act of rebellion. Because of that, he’d go a full week without washing his clothes, letting the blood and oil stain the fabric until it might as well be dye. And he didn’t sleep for days sometimes, choosing instead to stay up all night in his workshop, only leaving when he starts to border on collapsing.

But between his anger issues and dysfunction, you saw something in him that you weren’t sure that even he saw. You saw it in the sparkle in his eyes when he figured out an issue that had been bothering him. You saw it in his sleepy groans when he woke up in the middle of the day after staying up all night before. You saw it in his smirks and smiles as he thought of something clever to say.

He was charming in his own way. Not in the way you thought of charming. He wasn’t elegant like Alcina, but he was warm. He was like a fire. Volatile. Deadly. Beautiful. And warm. And perhaps you were a bit of a pyromaniac, as you found yourself staring into a fire pit, longing to see the damage it could do if you let it free. You wanted to see what Heisenberg could do to you. You wanted to let him.

- - - - -

You were a bit suspicious that you weren’t hiding your feelings very well. Heisenberg was clever, and he was incredibly observant. He needed to be. His “family” didn’t exactly get along with him very well, and knowing what you knew about his “siblings”, they would’ve taken any opportunity possible to kill him and take his place as a favored lord. So he was constantly on his toes. And that meant that you were sure that he had noticed you were acting a bit off recently.

And you were sure that he had figured out exactly what was causing you to act that way, by the way that he teased. There was a glint in his eyes when you started to get flustered that was new to you. The way he smirked at you as he praised you, his hand resting casually on your arm for a few more seconds than before. He had even gone through with his collar joke, though he hadn’t given it to you to wear.

He’d wink at you as he held it in front of you, though. It was a silver chain that was about an inch thick, made into an easily adjusted necklace by the extra bit of chain that hung through the loop. The extra bit of chain that also worked as a built-in leash. He’d hold the collar in front of you, dangling it casually from one of his fingers when you started to get sarcastic with him, making comments about how his “pet” needed to be put in her place. And you’d try your best not to show how much you truly wanted that.

It had become another one of Heisenberg’s games. You could tell that he knew. And he knew that you knew that. So the game became how long you could go without breaking.

“So, kitten,” you jumped a bit as Heisenberg appeared behind you. You were making dinner, and had thought that Heisenberg was still working in his shop. He usually didn’t leave for dinner until you came to get him if he ate dinner with you at all, “You seem a bit spaced out. Care to tell me what you’ve got on your mind?”

You could say what you really wanted to. You could say that you wanted him to rail you until you couldn’t walk. But that would end the game. And Heisenberg only liked to end games if he could win them in a satisfying way.

“Nothing you need to worry about, sir,” You muttered, finishing the food you were cooking and pulling it off of the stove, “Just lost in thought.”

He hummed a bit, noticing how you refused to make eye contact. That wasn’t new, but you weren’t usually so awkward about it, “Come on, pet. I’d like to know if you’re planning your escape or something,” A bit of metal began to dangle in front of your face and you knew exactly what it was, “Honestly, (y/n), I really might have to put this collar on you if you’re going to be keeping secrets.”

“It sounds like you’re just looking for an excuse to put a collar on me, Karl,” You had gotten a bit bold, knowing that the line of how much you could get away with was quite a bit further back, “You can just admit that you’re into that.”

He chuckled a bit, resting the arm that he was holding the collar with on your shoulder and leaning into you just a little bit. You could feel his body heat radiating off of him. You always wondered how he was always so warm, living in this factory, surrounded by the cold metal walls, “I don’t know, pet, you haven’t been protesting quite as much. It seems like you may be coming around to the idea. Maybe you’re projecting a bit.”

He had set his chin on your shoulder by the end of his statement, his breath brushing against the shell of your ear. It had sent a shiver down your spine, and you could tell he felt it by the satisfied hum that passed his lips.

“You’re not arguing with me, kitten,” he purred as you failed to muster up a rebuttal, “Is that what you want? You want me to put the collar on you? Do I need to put my needy little pet in place?”

Fuck. You shifted a little, trying not to make the throbbing between your legs obviously. You were trying so hard to think of a comeback, but the teasing had been going on for so long that you were reaching your breaking point. You wanted him to fuck you so badly that it made you look stupid.

He grabbed your shoulder and turned you around to face him. It was so much harder to keep a poker face when you were looking into his eyes, when you could see that glint in them. The kind of glint that made you think he wanted to eat you alive. And you wanted him to.

“If you ask like a good girl, maybe I’ll give you what you want,” his voice came out so much smoother than usual. It intimidated you a bit, knowing that he was holding himself together so well. You knew that there was no way your voice was going to come out nearly as smooth.

“I’m not going to beg, Karl,” Your voice was shaking, but you tried to hold your cool. He always had fun when you talked back a little, and you were hoping that translated to this situation as well. And the wolf-like grin that grew on his face told you that you were right.

“We’ll see about that, kitten.”

- - - - -

You weren’t quite sure when the collar had appeared around your neck. Somewhere between the kitchen and Karl’s bedroom, though, it had snaked its way around your neck, even though his hands never seemed to leave your hips. You were a bit too occupied trying to keep up with his ravenous kisses.

His lips were latched onto your neck as he pushed you through the door to his room. You landed on his bed soon after with a slight bounce. You had been in his room before to clean, but the context was different now. The actual room itself was entirely irrelevant, as Karl climbed on top of you, throwing his hat and glasses to the side, not caring where they landed. All you could look at were his eyes, glowing bright yellow as he looked down at you.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten how much of a fucking brat you’re being,” he growled, looking down at you, “You’ve earned yourself quite the punishment.”

He sunk his teeth into your shoulder, biting just below the hickey that was already forming on your neck. He growled a bit as you squeaked in surprise, biting down a bit harder. You both felt when he broke the skin, and something told you that the mark he was leaving was entirely on purpose. He didn’t want anyone to doubt who you belonged to. His fingers dug into your skin, one hand holding your wrist above your head and the other digging into your side just above your hip. You had a feeling you would be covered in marks and bruises in the morning, and you were alright with that.

He pulled your clothes off quickly, throwing them to the side of the room. He wasn’t wasting any time, so you were pretty sure he had ripped through a seam or two on your dress. And he didn’t hesitate to rip your underwear completely in half.

He threw you around so much easier than you had expected. You knew that he was strong, you had just expected it to take at least a little bit of effort. You supposed that you shouldn’t have underestimated his inhuman strength, because in seconds he had flipped you, moving you so that you were on your hands and knees in front of him. You were entirely vulnerable in front of him, entirely bare as he remained fully clothed behind you.

It was weirdly hot, being at his mercy. He wasn’t a good person, and you knew that. In fact, there was still a feeling in your chest reminding you that he could kill you whenever he wanted. But that didn’t matter at that moment. The fear just made it better in some sick way. You knew you were insane, you had to be, but if insanity felt this good, you were going to accept it.

“Now, kitten, be good and stay quiet through your punishment, and maybe you’ll get a reward,” he stated, sliding his hands from the place they were resting on your waist to rest on your ass instead, “Do I make myself clear?”

You nodded in response, not trusting your voice as his hands slid further down, reaching the back of your thighs, one of his thumbs dangerously close to your pussy. His hands were callused, so as they slid across your skin, it created an interesting sensation. Your eyes almost rolled back into your head as his thumb brushed lightly against your clit, and you heard him chuckle a bit at your reaction. However, before you could enjoy yourself too much, he pulled his thumb away, sliding his hands back up to your ass.

There was a pause for a few moments, and you felt his eyes scanning your body. They always seemed to feel so much more intense than anyone else’s gaze ever could. Before you could get self-conscious, though, one of his hands raised from its place, only to come back down hard. The smacking sound echoed through the entire room, and you couldn’t hold back your yelp.

“Now, now, pet, I thought I said to keep quiet. I’ll let this slide once because you’re cute, but any more, and I’ll have to add some more punishment,” he cooed, grabbing the leash of the collar around your neck and pulling it towards him. He leaned forward until he could actually look at your face, seeing the tears prick at the corners of your eyes already, “I’d hate to break my toy right away, so try to behave.”

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before shoving your head down into the bed and resuming your punishment. You bit your lip, trying your best not to actually break the skin, as you did your best to stay quiet. You were a bit surprised by how much you enjoyed it. After the first few, the pain started to melt away, hidden behind a numb tingling that sent electricity shooting through your whole body. And it was pretty obvious to Heisenberg as well, when slick started to drip down the inside of your thighs.

You lost count before he stopped, but it couldn’t have been more than fifteen. He let out a satisfied hum as he looked at the handprints that were already starting to form, rubbing his hands gently over the forming bruises. You almost started purring as his hands continued to slide across your body.

“You’ve been such a good girl, kitten,” he praises as he moves your body, eventually making you stand in front of him as he sat on the edge of the bed, “Do you want your reward now?”

You nod, far too gone to even try to not look like a desperate fool. He looked proud of himself, seeing you so needy and bare in front of him. It was like a work of art. You had never seen so much admiration and need in his eyes. It wasn’t love. But it was need, and want, and possession.

“Ask nicely.”

You were too desperate to argue. You needed him more than you could remember needing anything, “Please, sir.”

You swore you saw the bulge in his pants twitch at the word “sir” and the glint in his eyes confirmed your suspicions. The grin he gave you showed his teeth, highlighting his fangs like a predatory animal about to lunge.

“Good girl,” He drew it out, shifting his body so that his legs were spread as far as they could be comfortably, before commanding, “Kneel.”

You do as you’re told almost by instinct. It was almost as though your body moved without your brain giving it permission. You had been entirely possessed by your lust. And it only got worse as his hands moved to unzip his pants, only removing enough of his clothing to free his cock.

“You want this, don’t you?” He looked almost amused as your eyes locked onto his cock. You were practically drooling over it. He almost laughed as you nodded, “Enjoy your treat, pet.”

He leaned back a bit, his weight being put on one of his hands, positioned a bit behind him on the bed. He looked so casual as you moved your hands to timidly take the place of his own, which had previously been holding his cock in place. He had to admit you looked adorable, needy and desperate as you kneeled between his legs. You were practically drooling for him.

You started out a bit slow, which surprised him a little. The little kitten licks and kisses felt good enough for him to close his eyes to savor it. However, from the smirk that had formed on your face by the time that he opened his eyes, he realized that you were planning on teasing. He wasn’t about to let that slide.

The hand that he had rested on the top of your head tightened its grip on your hair. “Watch it, kitten. Don’t be a tease,” He growled, pushing your head down a bit until about half of his cock was in your mouth.

With that, your willpower to hold back faded, and you took the rest of him into your mouth. The tip hit the back of your throat just a bit, making you hold back a gag. And as you looked up at him through your lashes and found him smirking down at you, you could tell that he saw it. You reveled in the soft groans that slipped past his lips when you finally got to work, swirling your tongue around as you bobbed your head. You moaned as he pulled your hair, the vibrations causing him to curse and pull your hair even more, “Fuck, kitten, you’re pretty good at that.”

You continued like that for a few more minutes, his grip on your hair getting tighter and tighter. The salty, bitter taste of precum started to hit the back of your throat, making it a bit harder not to gag. But the sounds that slipped from his mouth fueled you even more. You felt proud, hearing how much he was enjoying himself. You almost felt a bit disappointed as he pulled you off of him by your hair, causing you to whine loudly.

“Aw, don’t worry, kitten,” He says, patting your head, “We aren’t done yet. Why don’t you lay down and let me take care of you? You’ve been such a good girl.”

You do as you're told, without saying anything. As you had gotten into the mode you were in, playing the role of Heisenberg’s pet, talking seemed unnatural. It felt right to listen to his commands, obeying him like a dog. So you laid on your back, spread out and completely bare. And you couldn’t hold back the yelp as he grabbed your hips and yanked you roughly to the edge of the bed, so that as he kneeled in front of you, his face was entirely level with your pussy.

You saw that glint in his eyes again as his warm breath hit your already dripping core. You were getting reckless, trying to inch your way closer to speed up the process, only for his grip to tighten on your waist, holding you in place. He had an iron grip on you, and you were thankful for that as he licked a broad stripe up across your pussy before diving in, focusing almost all of his attention on your clit.

You were practically screaming his name as swirled his tongue around your clit with dexterity you didn’t think was even possible to possess. His hands were definitely leaving fingerprint-shaped bruises on your hips, but at least they were holding you in place as you involuntarily started to buck your hips and arch your back. You could feel the knot tightening in your abdomen, your hands ripping the sheets so hard you were a bit worried that you were going to tear them. He slid a finger into you, hitting at just the right angle to make you squeal. You honestly couldn’t think of a time that someone had made you come undone quite so fast, but you certainly weren’t complaining as the tangled nerves in the pit of your stomach finally seemed to snap.

Karl had to admire you as you came, your head thrown back and your legs shaking. Your skin was practically glimmering from the thin layer of sweat that was already clinging to it. He couldn’t help the pride that flooded into his chest as you started to come down from your high looking absolutely destroyed. He wasn’t done yet, but he was glad to see he had it in him to affect you this much.

He slowly stepped back, his eyes never leaving you as you laid on the bed, trying to catch your breath. He made sure to lock eyes with you as he slowly stripped the rest of his clothes off, layer by layer. By the time you recovered, he was finally taking off his necklaces, dropping them onto the pile he had made with the rest of his clothing. Despite his strength, he wasn’t exactly ripped. His arms were fairly muscular and defined, but he had a bit of squish around his stomach. His body was coated in a layer of body hair, the bits of silver shining in the dim light of the room you were in.

He was attractive in the rugged way that made it make sense that he smelled like metal and cigar smoke as he crawled on top of you, keeping pace as you inch yourself further up the bed. It was only once you had settled into place that he leaned down, kissing you feverishly. It escalated with every second, the hand that he wasn’t using to support his body weight roamed your body. It wasn’t long until his hand was moving your legs, angling your hips to make it easier for him to line himself up with your entrance.

He pulled away from the kiss just long enough to slowly push himself into you, watching your reaction as you slowly adjusted to his width and length. It didn’t take you long to adjust, though, and he could tell when you did. He started off slow. It surprised you how gentle he was being, but you didn’t mind at first. Before long, though, you were craving more. You wanted him to use your body.

“Please,” You whined, “Harder.”

He grinned a bit at your begging, recalling your declaration that you wouldn’t beg. He honestly couldn’t tell what part he enjoyed more, the win he had earned or seeing you beneath him, begging for him. Either way, he wasn’t going to deny you what you wanted.

So he leaned back, shifting his weight to his knees so that he could grab your ankles. He pinned your legs to your chest. As he slammed into you, much harder than before, you could tell just how much the angle had changed. Your eyes nearly rolled back into your head as he continued to thrust into you. Your moans got louder, and he started to groan a bit too, cursing under his breath as his thrusts got a bit uneven.

“Fuck, kitten,” he breathed into your ear as he leaned down, your legs on his shoulders. You could feel him twitching inside of you, getting close to his own ending, “You’re such a good girl.”

You couldn’t help yourself as your hands moved to scratch down his back, digging your nails in as deeply as you could. He responded by biting into the same place he had earlier, a bit of blood from before sticking to the corners of his mouth. With a few more rough thrusts, his teeth sinking a little bit deeper into your shoulder, he finished. And the two of you both started to relax.

After a few seconds of you both catching your breath, he pulled away, rolling to the side so that he could comfortably lay on his back next to you. It was an awkward few moments, both of you laying there in near silence, only for him to break it with, “We should probably get that bite cleaned up, huh? My bad, pet. I forget how fragile you are sometimes.”

And with that he got up, moving to gently take care of you. He cleaned up your bite mark, and helped you clean between your shaky legs with a damp washcloth. It was a whole new side of him as he helped clean you off, making sure that he hadn’t been hurt too badly. And after a few minutes, when you had been cleaned enough that you weren’t actively uncomfortable, he climbed back into bed and wordlessly pulled you into his chest.

(A/N: So... um. I'm sorry for this. This is my second smut ever and I needed to get a bit... self-indulgent so my brain would stfu.)

#karl heisenberg #lord heisenberg #heisenberg smut #re8 heisenberg #resident evil heisenberg #heisenberg x reader #karl heisenburg x reader #resident evil 8 village #resident evil village x reader

[sleeping-lilies]

robin era jason, dick, and babs headcanons because there’s too much comedic potential to ignore

- dick and babs were the ultimate gossip buddies. whenever dick was with the titans for long periods of time, babs always filled him in on everything

babs: dick you’ll never believe what hal said to bruce last night, i even have videos. dick, the look on his face please—

dick, immediately locking doors so his teammates don’t hear the mad shit about to be dropped on main: tell me everything

- vice versa too, dick filled babs in on everything going on with the titans and all they can say is thank god those lines are bat secured with no villains being able to listen in, imagine deathstroke hearing through bat gossip that joey’s dating who?!?! 😳

- batkids have been and always will be the holder of superhero gossip. it’s a business, you see, but we’re getting off topic 😡

- lmfao anyways this is literally how dick finds out about jason

babs: anyways, jason—

dick: who the fuck is jason

babs: ....

dick: barbara?!?!

babs: ok promise you won’t freak out

- babs and dick’s first reaction upon meeting jason being “why is he so small i wasnt that small” “dick you were literally nine when you were robin—“ “he’s tiny” it’s like those two share the same braincell

- i’m making it so that dick gave jason his number earlier because i feel like it 😡😡😡 (not that it changes much other than the fact that i want more gossip dropped in dm’s)

- when dick gave jason his number, he went to babs like “give me jason’s number” “didn’t you literally just give him your’s?” “ya but i’m gonna make sure he texts me” “ya ok that’s fair”

- whenever jason didn’t want to be in the manor (fight with bruce, boredom, etc) he went to wherever the fuck babs lived and they would facetime dick and talk mad shit. it was a thing.

- despite them all being able to drive, babs was the only one during this time with an actual, legitimate, legal license (jason was too young to have a license and dick is too lazy/busy/whatever-excuse-he-wants-to-use to take the permit and driving test) so babs drove them around everywhere and it was a mess™ consisting of a bunch of backseat drivers

- “dick omg look at this video i found from the batcave” “omg he said robin gives him magic” “robin gives him magic” they both cry about it for years to come

- babs sometimes kidnapped jason after school after telling the head of wayne manor (alfred) and took him to get ice cream, then to the library while she worked. jason was the greatest kid in the library, he even had his own throne special chair just for him whenever he came provided by library staff who adored this absolute angel.

- jason 🤝 babs 🤝 dick -> i believe in annoying yet endearing nicknames supremacy

- nicknames include (some used by some more than others or just one, or by both equally because they’re annoying pick and choose my good people)

little wing (iconic, we all know this one fellas and who uses it)

red (used for babs, absolutely fantastic, but in the future it gets confusing because some people with their goddamn hero names 😡)

boy wonder (classic, babs calls them both that)

barbie (for babs, jason uses this one and he’s the only one able to get away with it)

dickie (jason just really gets away with everything huh)

dickhead (jason’s lucky he’s cute)

baba black sheep (jeez i’m on a roll with babs’ nicknames she’s so nickname-able and that’s very cool and sexy of her)

jay z

jay allen

jay jay jay (shut up, dickhead—)

big bird

and a bunch more i’m too tired to look for them in canon or make new ones up, but you get the idea

- dick can totally bake, and babs and jason keep bugging him when he’s baking and add more chocolate chips while pretending to not notice that he can see them 😡😡😡

- headcanon that jason had hero worship for babs and dick because they’re so cool in and out of costume and it never really went away when he got older listen his older brother and pseudo sister are so cool and that’s not his fault but he’ll never admit it

- barbie movie marathons because barbie is an iconic legend and they all recognize it. they have the fucking “she’s the queen of the WA-A-A-AVES” song memorized along with all other barbie movie songs, they sing it on patrol.

- dick and jason’s sibling dynamic was and is basically “ur a little shit and i hate you but i will literally kill for you”

- dick had tension with bruce while jason was just a little shit who would totally cause drama for the sake of it, and people never take advantage of this absolute power duo for destroying bruce

- dick sending cryptid texts to jason through a burner phone because he’s dramatic jason totally knew it was him about things that drive bruce mad, like leaving the shower turned to the coldest setting before bruce got there, leaving the lights in the batcave on, etc. jason, a wise little child, totally took advantage of this. bruce came to accept his fate

- the gc names, guys the group chat names

- jason crashing into titans tower whenever he wants and dick doesn’t bat (hAH) an eye, occasionally he very sweetly asks babs to come with him and she agrees but only sometimes because some people have jobs, jason—wait dick is being flirted with by who?!?! i’ll leave it up to your imagination ;) and they totally crashed titans missions too

- one time bruce was busy with the league while alfred was on vacation and bruce absolutely could not dip (i’m imagining bruce getting a call from the headmaster during an honest to god fight and bruce just picking up while punching the daylights out of some asshole) (“mr wayne, what is that noise in the background?” “sorry, headmaster, the cat is having a seizure”), so when jason got into a “fight” (read: some jackass picking on jason before he snapped and yelled at him and the bitchass kid tried to punch him and jason’s no quitter) bruce called dick who was an adult and legally family (yes dick is adopted sometime after jason was, stay mad) like “son... son please” and dick was like “oh no need to plead with me, this is too good” but of course this bitchass doesn’t have an actual lisence yet and he was hanging out with babs anyways so he and babs rolled up to gotham academy and the kids stared at them like “holy shit they’re so cool” ya dick and babs are those power couple, whether romantic or not, that turn heads, they’re just that powerful strolled into the office, bailed jason out while intimidating the headmaster because the altercation was the result of school staff negligence of actual bullying like those cliche tropes, said “ayyy you got that brat good” and get him chili dogs or whatever the fandom made robin jason’s favorite food. omg i just made an entire fanfic in rough draft form someone please steal it and write it in full form and send me the link

- jason is very very tiny, you see. babs and dick pick him up and move him for any reason, whether because they want to sit on that chair or to just throw him out of harm’s way and take the bullet for themselves.

- jason and dick both get adorable blushes on their faces it’s genetic yes that’s how genetics work shut up meanwhile babs’ ears turn red when she’s embarrassed and all three of them clown each other for it

- i yelled about this to my mutual (cough cough @littlespaceboii) who also added to this absolute dogshit headcanon and then in the discord full of mutuals, but the basement of wayne manor is haunted. dick found it when he was a little gremlin (i stand by that dick was the original demon child) (“you see damian, before there was you there was me” the real reason he was good with damian lmfao) and was like “omg this is so cool” @littlespaceboii came up with that it was just alfred fucking with bruce and so when jason first came and dick was comfy around him he was like “so have you been in the basement” and jason was like “im literally robin i’ve been in the batcave?!?!” and dick goes “no the basement, the haunted one” and jason’s like “hAUNTED?!?!” cuz jason has at least some self preservations and knows not to fuck with the spookies until he too became a spooky and bruce was like “there’s no ghost it’s not haunted” because he’s a skeptic and a party pooper and babs is like “no go on let him finish” even though she knows full well there are no ghosts or does she? and uhhhh basically they becomes ghostbusters 2.0 but cooler and funnier

- this trio is basically baby pan/bisexual jason and two resident expert pan/bisexuals solidarity but that’s literally canon. they go to pride every year that jason’s alive what who said that?

- they all tease each other for their crushes like all siblings/family friends do, i don’t need to say it but it’s important that’s emphasized for my well being

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals who added onto this absolute train wreck too, but jason used to play baseball during his robin days, and dick never showed up to those games with being busy as an excuse, but babs always showed up with bruce and alfred and took pictures for dick so dick could be like “mlb players are jobless now that little wing is on the scene” babs (and sometimes bruce) always shouted loudest for jason whether he was in the field or in the dugout and jason would get this extremely adorable blush on his face (jason finds out in the future why dick never showed up (cough cough ptsd from two face’s massive baseball bat which led to everything that came after including being fired and veangance academy and nearly killing two face and omg that’s a ride) and is like oh my god my childhood is even more ruined—)

- remember when i said dick got adopted after jason did in this new absolutely fabulous canon i just created? bruce did that because “ahhh fuck that’s my kid and i want him to know i love him through every means possible since i have the ability to do so” i believe in good dad bruce supremacy and made a whole thing where he invited dick to dinner for like a week to work up the courage and bonding to ask him and show him the adoption papers and then everyone cried :) bruce decided to finally adopt dick after jason referred to dick as his brother and bruce was like “...oh” and alfred was like 👀

- dick, as the first child hero and one of the first heroes period like at least a year or two before babs, holds the “back in my day” card over literally everyone in the hero community in general and pulls it out to annoy babs and jason even tho babs literally joined the scene only a year or two after dick

jason, shaking in his panties: it’s so fucking cold

dick, standing strong in his tits out outfit, who had to wear the panties on his own decision: oh, you’re cold? back in my day—

babs, throwing her boot at his face: god shut the fuck up—

and then dick doesn’t give back her boot and it becomes a whole thing with lots of tackling and play fighting and someone nearly gets thrown off they rooftop for funsies but anyways

also on a side note, babs would take off her cape and wrap it around jason whenever she noticed his discomfort with the weather, or use the weather as an excuse whenever she saw him uneasy for whatever reason and they never mention it to each other

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals at some point too holy shit i have friends, but those three are team rocket. they went out as team rocket for halloween one year after bullying bruce to let jason out only jason because he can’t tell dick and babs what to do and jason is under his care and when they do convince him, dick and babs bully jason into being meowth. manifesting jason in a meowth onesie ARTISTS PLEASE—

- dick finally took his license seriously and took his driver’s test after babs became paralyzed.

- those were a rough few months for those three. and then another rough few months for those two

- yikes, sorry to throw angst at you (sorry (unfeeling)) anyways, in the future alfred finds those old photos and shows the rest of the fam, so dick and babs bully jason, 6’2 jason that towers way above both of them, and once again bullies him into being meowth “for tradition, little wing!” “shut up, dickhead” the rest of the batkids lose their shit over this, naturally. bruce and alfred stand in the back teary eyed reminiscing the old days when things were a little more simple.

- discowing walked so terrifying handsome squidward red hood helmet could run (even tho the ugly helmet tripped and fell and missed the mark because discowing wasn’t ugly and will always remain superior, i feel i have committed a terrible crime comparing the two)

dick: jason what the fuck is that

jason: it’s fashion

dick: it’s terrifying

jason: i’m only following in my older brother’s footsteps 😔

dick: listen here, you little shit strangles him haha just kidding that illegal wait theyre vigilantes they don’t follow the law—

- these three and cass refer to the rest of the batkids as “the kids” (if she’s older than jason, sometimes she is and sometimes she isn’t and i’m really confused but whatever)

- babs and dick’s relationship with jason pre death literally shaped how jason treats his siblings post pit madness like he literally goes “what would red and big bird do?!??” when he needs to go into big brother mode over the “little ones” (“little” because tim and steph are adults and duke is nearly an adult himself oh my god he’ll graduate from high school soon and jason never got to do that himself he’s totally going to the ceremony legally dead or not) 🥺

- holy trinity continue hanging out with each other, whether lunch or games or whatever, and just enjoy each other’s company after long, rough years

#i believe in meowth jason supremacy #license is spelled differently every time i type it is it license or lisence #oh whatever i’m failing anyways #good dad bruce because and reconciled bruce and dick father son dynamic because good dad bruce and extremely bitter son dick cannot exist #in the same realm #like it literally ruins dick’s whole character and makes him look like a brat when that’s literally not what happened #I MADE A FUCKING TYPO NOOO #OK ANYWAYS #dick grayson #jason todd #barbara gordon #oracle #batgirl #red hood #robin #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #alfred pennyworth #headcanons #batfam #batfam headcanons #dc comics #3am blue strikes again #long post #mine

[panharmonium]

Merlin and Naruto

I did Merlin here, so here’s Naruto! :D

[disclaimer for everyone: I have only watched up through Season 10 of Shippuden (the arc with the Five Kage Summit), and I am trying to avoid spoilers for everything after that point, so please don’t interact with this (including tags, because tumblr shows them to me automatically) unless you are avoiding ALL spoilers.  For me, this includes discussion about whether you like/dislike future seasons, comparisons of various seasons in terms of quality, etc.  Thanks, everyone! <3]

My favorite parent-child relationship: I know they’re not blood-related, but Iruka and Naruto have me crying every time I see them together.  Naruto straight-up says that when he’s with Iruka he feels like he knows what it’s like to have a father, and honestly, Iruka loves Naruto so much at this point that he would insta-adopt him if Naruto asked.  I love how Naruto always cites Iruka as the first person who cared for him even later in the show when Iruka hasn’t had as much screentime, and when I saw Iruka cry because he’s so proud of Naruto at the end of the Pain arc, it was just...too much for my little heart to handle.

My favorite sibling relationship: You know, thinking about it, almost all of the people in Naruto are only children, as far as we know!  But in terms of just that sibling vibe - Sakura and Naruto definitely give me that feel.  I know he has a crush on her, but their relationship has always felt more sibling-like to me, and I especially love how deep their bond has become by the time we get to Shippuden.  They are just so comfortable with each other now - the depth of the love and friendship they feel for each other is palpable.  

My favorite family relationship (other): I adore Naruto’s relationship with Jiraiya.  That scene where Naruto falls asleep against his back almost killed me, and Jiraiya’s later line, “Your smile is my salvation” - that was too much.  It absolutely destroyed me.  The way Jiraiya kind of gave up on everything after his old life went to hell - neverending wars, Orochimaru gone, his original students dead, his student’s students dead, Minato dead - he just ran away after that, and it was meeting Naruto that kind of rekindled that spark of hope in him and helped him reconnect with his community and rediscover a sense of purpose in his life.  Naruto enabled him to finally come home, and I think that’s beautiful.

My favorite friendship between two people: There are so many friendships in Naruto that I love (one of the greatest things about this show for me has been how little focus is given to romantic relationships, at least so far; it’s very much a friendship-oriented show), but right now I’m in a bit of a Kakashi-Yamato hole.  I was super primed to not like Yamato when he first showed up, because him being there meant that my favorite character WASN’T there, and also he ended up replacing Kakashi on the one mission where the team finally found Sasuke, but the guy won me over in the end.  He is one of my favorite characters now - my heart just swells every time I see him - and I think his relationship with Kakashi is super interesting.  I’ve written before about how Kakashi’s only truly intimate friendships are with people who are dead, and I do think that applies when it comes to Yamato, too, even though the two of them are obviously very companionable and close.  There is still a level to that relationship where Kakashi is a bit of a mentor figure, the “superior officer,” which results in a degree of (still friendly and affectionate) distance.  And as with all of his other relationships, Kakashi doesn’t really confide in Yamato about his life or open up to him in the same way that he does when he talks to his dead friends - but at the same time, there is an element to their relationship that doesn’t exist in Kakashi’s other friendships, and it’s the fact that Kakashi trusts Yamato with his kids, implicitly and without reservation.  Kakashi’s entire life right now is very much enmeshed in what happens to his students, and even if he doesn’t necessarily talk about that with Yamato, Yamato is still deeply involved in that work.  Yamato VOLUNTEERED for that work.  And he continues to dedicate himself to it even when his first mission as Kakashi’s stand-in ends up going completely off the rails and turning into WAY more than he signed up for.  He keeps doing his utmost for Kakashi’s kids without it even being his original responsibility, and that is such an unusual thing, for Kakashi, who in every other circumstance is always the one stepping in to help other people, the one who always shoulders his burdens alone.  Nobody ever asks Kakashi if he needs help with these incredibly high-needs children, and neither does Yamato - but the difference is that Yamato jumps in to help regardless, and he stays no matter how complicated things get.  That’s huge, and it’s only going to become more important.  It’s just - it is difficult for Kakashi to have intimate friendships with people who don’t share his history, and this rules out almost everybody else in the world, because all the people who truly share his own history are dead.  But the degree to which Yamato has altruistically and irreversibly entwined himself into the most important parts of Kakashi’s new history - the chapters being written right now, the ones that are going to define the rest of Kakashi’s life - means that Yamato is well on his way to breaking through that wall and becoming the first exception to a universal rule. [There is a lot to be said on Kakashi’s side of this, too, like - every time Kakashi refuses to call Yamato by his code name I lose my mind just a little bit, and I have MANY thoughts about Kakashi basically dragging folks who’ve been victimized or exploited or experimented on out of ANBU and then absorbing them into his own team, where they become a part of a family-type unit that respects them and cares about them and treats them like human beings.  I mean, there’s a huge difference between the Yamato we meet in S2 vs. the Yamato we know in S10 (and the same thing goes for Sai!) - and that’s something I think about a lot.]

My favorite friendship between a group:  I love all of the team dynamics, but Team Gai is a fave XD  The absurd contrast between oh-so-serious Neji vs. Gai/Lee’s incredible goofiness (with Tenten’s exasperation in between) is comedy gold.  I screamed with laughter in S1 when Gai was trying to get Neji to put his hand in the circle and do their “shout a slogan like a sports team” thing - I’ve never seen anything funnier on this show than jonin!Neji trying to put up with Gai’s antics.  

My favorite mentorship: My favorite mentorship is always Kakashi and whichever kid happens be onscreen with him at that moment, but I’ll be honest and say that Kakashi+Sasuke was the first dynamic that got me actually invested in this show (as opposed to me just watching it because it was on and not really caring what happened to any of the characters).  They are still the mentorship dynamic about which I have the most complex feelings, and that is especially true after the last season we watched.  I will probably end up making a separate post about this, because I still have not written down all of my thoughts about the end of Season 10 and I am still trapped in my feelings about this very lost child and the only adult who ever tried to help him the way he deserved to be helped, and I know I have way more to say about them than I can reasonably fit in this bullet point.  But - the short version is that I am super compelled by the way that every tragedy that’s befallen Kakashi is precisely what shapes him into the only adult who can help this particular kid, the way seemingly senseless events ended up putting Kakashi in a position where he’s the only adult who can intervene on this kid’s behalf many, many years later.  The way Sasuke’s plight (and the potential that Kakashi has to help him) suddenly grants meaning to the worst parts of Kakashi’s life - that knocks me on my butt.  

My favorite rivalry: So I probably would not have said this until the episode where Kakashi comes three seconds away from being made Hokage, but I’m gonna say Gai & Kakashi, solely to express my love and appreciation for Gai in that episode.  This is the ep where Gai challenges Kakashi to a race through the entire village (as a sort of “last hurrah before we can’t do this kind of silly shit anymore” thing) and Kakashi is initially kind of reluctant to do it, because he’s stressed out about a lot of things, but he does end up agreeing to it, and then he has SO much fun, and I LOVED this so much; I can’t even tell you.  This moment takes place immediately after Kakashi returns from that horrible, awful confrontation with Sasuke, and everything preceding this scene was very hard for me to see, because everybody is just asking Kakashi to do more and more and more for them without giving him even a hot minute to be like “i almost just killed my own kid.  i almost just had to kill my own kid, who was trying to kill my other kid, who was trying to kill kid #1 first, so i wouldn’t have assume the burden of killing him myself.”  Nobody checks on him, nobody asks, and Kakashi has to just hold onto that horror and also fret over the uncertain yet chilling secrets that Madara Uchiha disclosed and also prepare to shoulder the crushing weight of an office he never asked for - AND THEN.  GAI SHOWS UP.  And even though Gai doesn’t really know what happened, he still checks Kakashi over from top to bottom to make sure he’s in one piece, and then he drags him into this stupid competition, and it makes Kakashi LAUGH.  They go running all out across the craterized scene of devastation that used to be their home, and they have FUN doing it, and Kakashi straight-up tells Gai, “This was just what I needed,” which - god.  It would be great if Kakashi had somebody he could actually talk to, sure, but there’s also a space in our lives for people who just cheer us up, no questions asked.  It’s like when you tell someone you have a problem and they ask, “Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted?”  Sometimes you don’t need to talk about it.  Sometimes you just need people who will take you for a goofy footrace and make you feel like you’re running too fast for any of your troubles to ever touch you again, for a few minutes. 

My favorite hatred/antipathy: The answer to this question used to be Kakashi and Itachi, and while I’m even MORE fascinated by their dynamic now than ever, it’s taken on a whole new dimension, given that I think Itachi is (secretly) thrilled to see someone like Kakashi so committed to taking him down and keeping Sasuke safe.  So, in place of that, I’ll just say that I love how much all of the Akatsuki cannot stand each other XD  Almost none of them get along, and it makes me laugh every time - I can’t believe they ever get anything done, though I guess that’s to be expected when you get that many super-criminals together in a room.  I especially love how they all think Orochimaru is so stupid...cannot get over them laughing at him and his body-snatching immortality schemes.

My favorite potential relationship between characters who never talk in canon: Okay, these are both silly answers, but - I would have KILLED to see Jiraiya interacting with Minato’s team.  Like, I’m certain they spent time together, but honestly, what I wouldn’t give to have witnessed some of it.  All I could think about during that mini-arc where Jiraiya teaches Naruto how to sync up with Gamariki was how little!Kakashi would have taken one look at the dancing frogs and decided he would be using dog!summons for the rest of his life; meanwhile Obito would have already been in the frog’s mouth begging to be launched into the air like a cannonball.  Also - my sister said the other night how it is a CRIME that we never got to see Sasuke forced to interact with Jiraiya and honestly, that is too true.

#naruto #pan watches naruto #long post #meta #(sort of)

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Fighting With My Family

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but my movie card that allows me to see all these films for free is the greatest gift I have ever received - greater even than the gift of life. The best, most exciting consequence of this gift is the ability to see movies I have little to no interest in and end up falling in love with. Case in point: an independent British comedy about a family of wrestlers, one of whom goes on to wrestle in America’s biggest professional wrestling league, the WWE. Now if you know me at all, you know that I’m a huge fan of - well, a lot of shit, but I have never watched a single wrestling match in my life. I’m all for the athleticism and theatricality, but somehow I just never got hooked into it. Now comes this silly little indie biopic written and directed by Stephen Merchant (of the UK Office fame) about Paige, the WWE’s youngest, prettiest, gothiest female wrestler (played with aplomb by Florence Pugh). And that is definitely the weirdest fucking recipe for a movie I’ve heard of this year. Was the result a Star Baker-winning Showstopper? Or Rachel Green’s trifle? Well...

I could never have predicted it, but this was one of the sweetest, most charming, most heartfelt and emotionally rich movies I’ve seen all year. It transported me to a world just as foreign to me as Middle Earth or Tattooine, and it never veered into cartoonish stereotypes to make its point. Dreams don’t always look like what you think - neither does family. Both are worth sticking it out for, through good and bad. 

Some thoughts:

It’s so nice to see Lena Headey (playing Paige’s mom, Julia) having fun! With her fake tattoos and piercings and ‘ello guvnor accent she’s having a BALL and I love it. It helps that she has a true comedy king in the form of Nick Frost to play her husband. I would watch a whole movie that’s just the two of them doing semi-criminal dealings and being so in love.

One of the things that struck me most was my own preconceived biases about what a “wrestling family” would be like. It’s honestly really cool to see this whole subculture that’s supportive and passionate and positive - plus there’s the whole “misfit found family” thing which you know I’m a fucking sucker for.

ALERT: There is a very cute dog, and he is excellent throughout the whole movie.

Also super important - this was so much funnier than I was expecting it to be! Like, multiple laugh out loud, belly laughs. A real delight.

I appreciate that the bond between these siblings is fantastic. Jack Lowden gives a fantastic performance as Zak, and you see every moment of the heartbreaking struggle he faces as he’s told over and over again to give up on his own dream and support his sister, who doesn’t seem that excited about getting everything HE’S ever wanted. The dynamic between Lowden and Pugh is loving while also full of resentment and petty anger and enormous pride. It’s a tough note to hit right, especially because sometimes young, attractive siblings in movies look like they just wanna fuck each other (actors can’t help their natural chemistry), but these two strike a really, really great balance.

I have never loved The Rock more, literally.

Did I Cry? Yes, at the end of The Rock’s speech. And at the airport. And during The Rock’s phone call. And during the speech in the WWE ring. This held the record for the most I’ve cried at a movie this year so far for a whole month, but then, you know...Endgame.

I know nothing about wrestling, but I definitely am in awe of the physicality and athleticism on display here. It’s so impressive what these wrestlers do with their bodies, like incredible dancers. 

I call fucking bullshit that you could go from black hair to bleach blonde in ONE NIGHT from a BOX doing it BY YOURSELF. 

My one complaint might be about the pacing. The film feels a little overly long, and tbh, Paige has a pretty shitty attitude the entire time during training, and it’s frankly shocking she got as far as she did. It makes her final triumphs feel more earned when she does turn it around, but that middle section of struggle goes on for just a touch too long.

Funny how women supporting women works better for everyone. Oh, and this movie passes the Bechdel test like a motherfucker. 

Overall this was a surprise and a delight and I CANNOT recommend it highly enough. Even if you have no interest in wrestling, there is such an excellent story at the heart of this film and heartfelt, hilarious performances from every core cast member. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#119in2019 #fighting with my family #fighting with my family review #paige #wwe paige #florence pugh #dwayne johnson #dwayne the rock johnson #the rock #jack lowden #lena headey #nick frost #stephen merchant #movie reviews #film reviews

[michalwu]

Best of 2018 in TV

Another year passed and again I watched a lot of good quality tv. I think that although again it was very hard to choose my top 10 this year was a little bit less intense than previous. Still I had to do a short list of places 20-11 because I couldn’t resist not to mention a few more productions. That said remember I’m not a critic. I watch thinks I like not because I have to and this list is totally subjective though I tried to be fair. I watched over 50 series from 2018 and that’s the results:

20-11 (in random order)

The Affair (season 4), Atlanta (season 2), Homecoming, ACS: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, Killing Eve, One Day at the Time (season 2), Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Maniac (season 2), Legion (season 2), AHS: Apocalypse.

10. Anne with and E (season 2)

I never was a huge fan of the book as a kid but I read it as mandatory lecture in primary school. But I am a huge fan of this series. Beautiful placement of the plot plus very talented young cast with leading Amybeth. The best part of the story for me always was the dynamics of Anna's relationship with her adopted parents.

9. Patrick Melrose

What an absolutely outstanding trio of actors: Benedict Cumberbatch, Hugo Weaving and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Plus another young talent this year Seabstian Maltz who as a young Patrick is giving one of the most dramatic performence of the year. Creators did justice to the novel.

8. The Deuce (season 2)

This was one of the most enjoyable series this year. I love the period it shows and since the first season I started to develop a sympathy for all those characters especially for Candy. Too bad the series seems to be forgotten this year by critics. In my opion it came back in a lot better shape than last year. It’s funnier, it’s faster and the whole fuss around making porno adaptation of Red Riding Hood is just captivating.

7. Sharp Objects

Another great limited series and another proof of my love to the craftsmanship of brilliant Jean-Marc Vallée. The story from book was kinda predictable and tacky. But thanks to the director who is an expert of showing emotions and dilemmas from the past plus the cast of three great actresses made it into phenomenal work. I am really looking forward to see more projects from cooperation of Mr. Vallee and HBO because so far it brings only true treasures.

6. Barry

I was always a fan of Bill Harder on SNL and his (usually) small roles in comedies. So then I found out that he’s making his own show I kept my fingers crossed for the success. And the results are better than expected. Barry is a great combination of drama and comedy. It sound like things we see lately very often but Barry is the best mix of two this year (not to mention animated series). Why? Because drama is real (he’s a seriall killer with many very hard moral choices to make) and the comedy provided (mostly) by Henry Winkler is just a poor gold. Well done.

5. The Haunting of  Hill House

I’m not a big horror enthusiast but I do have a soft spot for those stories in classical form. And what’s more classic than beautiful, old, and huge haunted house. I fell in love with this series and it’s so much better than the previous movies. This one is actually very far from the original story written by Shirley Jackson but it capture the atmosphere the best. Separation of episode focusing on different from five siblings was a great idea. From non-believer to the most affected of the kids the story became more and more intense and scary. I honestly was scared almost the whole time. Still I tried to play with creators and watch for all  the hidden ghosts in the background. The secret of Bent Neck Lady was haunting me for a while and even after finishing the series it all stayed with me in my mind. This was my favorite new series of the year. I’d love to see it again in other form, maybe as anthology like AHS. With this cast yes please!

4. GLOW (season 2)

It’s so nice today that we can get such a smahing tv show this such a huge female cast. I love this series and those Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling since season 1. I always enjoy it when show or movie takes me to another peroid of time and GLOW blend us into into that reality of 80 like nothing else. We had so many exctiting things this season with Debbie becoming single mother after divorce, Sam Silvia trying himself as a father and the whole team becoiming more and more like a crazy family (recording of intro in the mall was amazing). In real life I’m not really intrested in wrestling (like at all) and though it probably differs a lot than reality I loved those duels bethween characters. Episode Mother of All Matches is one of the best in 2018.

3. BoJack Horseman (season 5)

Oh how I love this show and this character. And before anyone judge me I don’t love BoJack for being a walking disaster and misery. I love this character and many other on the show for the incredibly smart writing. He is a alcoholic, narcissus and washed-out tv star and that who he is. Just like Priness Caroline is an ambitious woman who will give up many things for career even if she know it won’t give her happines in the end. But that’s the greatest thing about this show and creators that they won’t change those characters and put them in unexpected positions just to get the wow factor from the viewers. They still find  a way to present those persons in fresh and captivating way but making it “in” the nature of the character. And that’s the fift season so congrats! And still we can count on them to give us some real gems like episode Free Churro which is a masterpiece of writing. The thing is this season of BoJack doesn’t stand out in specific way from other but it gives us the thing it always did and never disappoints - crazy rollercoaster ride.

2. Mozart in the Jungle (season 4)

When I said at the beginning that this list is totally subjective I meant it inter alia because of this series. Mozart IS my favorite tv series. I don’t know if the best but it always gave me the most joy when watching it adn that’s a pretty good determinant. Unfortunately I will have to start saying it WAS my favorite because Amazon cancelled series after this season. I’m still mad and disappointed because GoT is about to end so all platforms grab the money to invest in “next huge thing” (in case of Amazon it’s new Lord of the Ring..yeah we need it). But don’t get me wrong. I didn’t put Mozart this high because I’m mad and or to mark someone’s mistake. I just really loved this season. Placing the plot in Japan was bull’s-eye move. Rodrigo De Souza (favorite tv character next to Leslie Knope) as a boyfriend of Hailey was hilarious, a much as observing her way to become succesfull and independent artist. The scene when she debuts as conductor with piece “Hi” is maybe my favorite moment in whole season. Even stronger is her performence at the finale. Although I rooted for Hailey and Rodrigo as a couple I’m glad that creators didn’t go into cliche with their relationship. Another strong scene is the on at traditional tea ceremony. Of course as always the whole season was very firm from the music side (this series helped me to discover a little piece of classical music and I’m grateful for that). I will really miss this series. I think it could easily do another season especially now when creators decided to end this season in such an interesting place. Too bad...

1. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (season 2)

There’s nothing to explain... but I will ;) I compared all the series with each other and in my opinion there was nothing better that Mrs. Maisel this year. I enjoyed it last year but I didn’t even expected how much delight will it be to have it back. Visually it is the most beautiful thing in tv right now. And the writing as always is case of Amy Sherman-Palladino is just excellent. Those characters are so fast and wit it’s just a pleasure to observe them interact and discuss with much to many words and refrences than any normal person would use. And those actors really take it like a champs. All episodes in Paris was nice but it was nothing compre to Catskill where it felt like watching dirty dancing but with much better and more interesting story. I love the way Palladino direct her characters. How they develop especially Midge, her friendship with Susie and her realisation that stand-up comedy is not only the thing she want to do but it is something she will do for the rest of her life. Every time she stands in front of audience, camera or father himself she proves to be nailer and we as audience live for those moments! I really enjoyed see her parents in Paris as we could discover totally different side of them both and also new romance of Midge. But my favorite sequence of the season was Midge watching Lenny Bruce (Luke Kirby is so on point with this role) in last episode and realising it all (inconspicuous scene but made me waste a few tears). At the end I will add that I love the attitude towards the children presented in this series...irrational like many other things.

*******

Suming up in my list dominant are HBO and Netflix productions but in the end two first places go to Amazon.

Comapring with previous year there is no sign of Legion in top 10. Well season 2 was good, sometimes even great but not enough to get into the top. Beside there’s less new series on the list (seven in 2017, four this year) but we had some amazing comebacks.

I don’t have huge disappointments this year, maybe just a few. 1) Romanoffs were boring as hell and I really counted on Weiner. 2) Cancelling of many good series like Mozart in the Jungle or Daredevil. 3) Riverdale became so absurd that it beats and law of logic. I mean why it gotta be so intense?

#top10 #2018 #year summary #tv series #hbo #netflix #Amazon #marvelous mrs maisel #mozart in the jungle #Bojack Horseman #glow #the haunting of hill house #barry #sharp objects #the deuce #patrick melrose #anne with an e #best of 2018

[destressjournal]

DCOM Rankings #77: Wizards of Waverly Place: The Movie

Wizards was probably one of my favorite shows growing up. And I’m not talking just on Disney channel, like, all time. It was a cute little sitcom with lots of lore and world building and character development sprinkled in. I honestly think this show was ahead of it’s time, at least by a few years. I will probably talk about the show at some other point but for now, let’s discuss the DCOM.

So real quick, I have no idea if this was supposed to be considered the finale before season 4 came along. Because this movie was pretty intense at some parts, and the finale of the show itself played out much differently and almost....anti-climactic-ly. But I guess it doesn’t matter. I was just wondering why the movie didn’t end up being the series finale like a lot of other shows do. Well I guess Hannah Montana is another exception cuz it had a theatrical movie release before its last season.

Ahhh getting off topic. Okay, right off the bat, this is a classic “be careful what you wish for movie” which honestly makes sense and can easily be done with a family full of wizards. In other DCOMS it’s like “jimmy finds a magic coin” or “billy was dreaming all along”. So it is nice and refreshing when you can just have a character wish for something and have it come true and not be totally weird.

HOWEVER, and this will get into the biggest flaw of the movie, it seems it took a bunch of liberties with the magic logic.

-for one thing, it’s never explained how Alex’s wish came true, I mean it had to have been a spell but spells in this universe are usually done in rhymes and only really powerful wizards can do them without having to say anything. Like, every kid gets mad sometimes and says stuff like “I wish you guys never met” or whatever, maybe it was the power of her anger that triggered it?? That’s the only explanation I could come up with, but my god I feel like Alex as a character would have said this more than once. I don’t know. Just the fact that one angry outburst caused this much of a problem is like...ehhh but like I said it’s one of those movies.

- that no one could reverse the spell but the kids. And that wasn’t explained either. That they had to speed up the wizard competition because reversing the spell could only be done by a full wizard. How does the dad know this when he barely knew the context in which the spell was cast?

-the wizard competition in itself. I loved watching it but the dad is just thrown into all of it and it’s really weird how he manages to just go along with it when he hardly knows what’s going on. ALSO!! I figured they were transported to some secret wizard location in the magical dimension. But the mom, a mortal, just waltzes up and throws Alex the stone and says here ya go. Like where is this place then?? How did she know where to find it?

The other flaw that I had was a flaw of the show from pretty much the 2nd season on, and that was the character of Max. Max is very under-utilized and underdeveloped as a character, in contrast to Alex who is one of the most complex and interesting characters to come out of Disney channel. It’s always been a battle between Justin and Alex, while Max is pretty much pushed to the side to either be the comedic relief or to play a minor role in the story. I like Max as a character, don’t get me wrong, and having 3 kids fight for the crown of wizardry instead of two makes for a more complex story, but not when the 3rd kid doesn’t really take any of it seriously or isn’t even given the opportunity to show what he’s got. I haven’t seen the show in years so I’m not sure if there’s an episode or scene that addresses this that I’m not aware of (there probably is) but I know the outcome of the finale of the show and that’s all I’ll say about that.

The good stuff

- honestly the CGI and visuals were pretty, a little bit outdated obviously but for the time, in a TV movie, it’s pretty good

-the acting as always is amazing. Jake T. Austin’s acting got SOOO much better since his last DCOM, and throughout the wizards show too. I knew it would and I was here for it.

- the character of Alex Russo, she is just such a refreshing character and I could never get enough of her. I still watch clips of her in the wizards show to this very day (not every day but occasionally) because her scenes just steal the show, she is laugh-out-loud hilarious, and fully admits to being a slacker lazy person who doesn’t really try in school or in life. Normally that would describe a bad/antagonist character, but Alex is also a character that’s deep down, full of heart and compassion, and understanding. Because she gets it. She understands the pressure and the struggle of everyday life. And that’s why she’s so likable because she’s clearly not perfect and is okay with that, and won’t blame anybody for not reaching a certain threshold. She’s very down-to-earth. Characters like Hannah Montana or teddy or raven, are still great characters to me, but fall short because they seem so put together and perfect, even when they mess up.

Okay enough girl crushing on Alex, another good thing about the movie is the emotions it brings up. The conflicts between Alex and Justin and Alex and her mom were greatly handled in my opinion. When Alex and Justin had that heart to heart on the floating rock, that was just so genuine it didn’t feel like I was watching a cutsie disney channel movie, like, this is real stuff that kids go through with their siblings or friends. Justin is jealous of Alex because she still succeeds even without really trying, and Alex is jealous of Justin because he gets the approval from their parents and gets all the perks from that. Justin thinks he has to keep up that “perfect” image to please his parents, though, so that’s another layer to his character that his perfection isn’t natural, he really works so hard to be liked and praised. Whereas Alex’s success comes more naturally. I love that dynamic, and how both of them feel like they wouldn’t be loved by their parents if they were to be fully themselves. I’m sorry that’s just really deep for me.

And then again, the conversation they had the second she won the wizard competition and Justin started forgetting everything. My god that was art. That scene always gets me. Alex was so desperate for help and felt like everything was taken from her. Her brother was the last one left who could help and he now couldn’t remember her name. So sad, even if it only lasted a couple minutes.

I know this movie is trying to explain to kids, yeah parents can be unfair sometimes but they love you so you should appreciate them. This specific plot isn’t unique but it’s the character dynamics that make it special between Alex and her mom. Also it helps that this movie already has an established TV series that’s been going for 3-4 years to build these characters up. It’s why a lot of the character moments feel so powerful, we’ve been with them for so long. It’s not like in movies like “You wish” where we only had time to learn about all the characters in 90 minutes. But even aside from that fact, Alex is such a great character that when she even learns to appreciate her mom, it hits hard.

Overall, the movie is really intense at some parts and I remember watching it when I was younger and hanging off the edge of my seat. I still kinda felt the same way watching it for this ranking. Of course it all resolves in a matter of minutes because “c’mon guys we gotta wrap up”

The antagonist in this movie wasn’t really the main antagonist, it was moreso Alex’s struggle with herself and her family members. This guy is an okay character. He doesn’t do too much until the very beginning and very end, cuz he was only needed to supply the map and then steal the stone. If he WAS the main antagonist I would suggest building some kind of real trust before the betrayal. But since he’s clearly just a side conflict, I don’t really care. What they have is fine. I just wish the dialogue with him was a little funnier.

Okay, grading time! I really thought about giving this an A+, but for now I might stick with A. Only because this is an awkward placement in the series for this movie and honestly it doesn’t move the overall story much forward at all. It’s a very self-contained story. I almost wish they made it the finale and have it be the wizard competition, the real one. Cuz the actual finale is just a two-part episode with TV-level graphics. I feel like these two events should have been flip flopped.

So yeah! There you have it! The next movie is one I consider to be my guilty pleasure DCOM. I can’t wait to revisit it and see if I feel the same way or not. See you then, whenever that may be!

[candidateofloyalty]

2019 Fic Retrospective

I saw a number of people doing this, and since I’m always up for talking about my own writing, I decided to imitate them. Admittedly, I’m a bit late, but since I didn’t have computer access for a decent part of this week I think it’s justified.

Apparently I wrote 55k words of fic this year? Given that I spent half the year out of the country, that is higher than I expected. I guess suddenly allowing a podcast to become my entire personality is a powerful motivator.

1/31

The Clock Strikes Midnight, Fire Emblem Echoes, 3.5k words

The prince is throwing a ball to find a spouse, and Faye just knows that this is her chance to make her dreams come true. There's no time for her to worry about the messenger who brought her the news, not when she can finally live out her fairytale.

My birthday gift for star, this time only posted one day after their birthday. Someday I will figure out this timing thing. They wanted a Cinderella AU, and as someone who read approximately 5 million fractured fairytale novels in high school, I had an immediate idea of where I wanted to take the plot. I’m pretty pleased with how this one came out, especially since I never actually played Echoes. It’s also one of my rare fics where the title isn’t a song lyric.

2/14

Sacred Simplicity, Dangan Ronpa, 900 words

Sakura and Aoi meet up for their weekly donut date, but Sakura's mind is elsewhere.

I can’t believe it took a fic exchange to get me to write Sakuraoi. The request was cute and I had a good time, though. I’m always a fan of the concept of Hope’s Peak practical exams. The whole premise of the franchise is that these kids have crazy skills, so let them use them.

3/3

My Fantasies from Long Ago, Persona 4, 5.2k words

While walking home from work, Yosuke is hit on the head by a mysterious cat-dog-thing. This is the least weird thing that happens to him over the course of the next 24 hours.

Apparently I had a lot of outside sources of inspiration this year. I guess that’s what all fanfic is, but even so. This AU is from kawaii-bunny-mel, and is ridiculously fun to write. This one sticks pretty close to the source material, since I intended it as an introduction to the AU. I wrote most of it on trains while cross-referencing the original episode. As it turns out, writing is much faster when you don’t have to worry about pacing or coming up with original events.

5/4

The Present You's Daydreams, Persona 4, 7.2k words

Yosuke's been doing magical girl temp work for about a month, and it's pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to him, even if it does mean having a weird bear roommate. Then Souji invites him to a party, and Yosuke has to face something even scarier than magical enemies: social interaction.

The second part of the BAPC AU, and the one where I went off and did my own thing. As much as I love the source material, I wanted to fit the rest of the IT in somewhere, and there are like 6 characters in the entirety of BAPC. Really, though, a significant amount of this fic was an excuse to have Yosuke use his customer-service voice on a dragon. I’d also meant for this to be the one where they got together, or at least showed mutual interest, and then Yosuke went and made things awkward. I don’t know what I expected. I got to write Hamuko being cryptic at Souji, though, which was even better.

5/19

Dazzling Blue Sky on the Window, Persona 3, 3.9k words

After Erebus, Metis is prepared to vanish, but Igor suggests another option.

This one was my birthday present to myself. You might wonder what that means when all of my fic is incredibly self-indulgent to begin with, and the answer is merging two universes and saving my favorite minor character in the process. It was only after the fact that I realized how much projection was involved. It’s fine.

6/16

Bright-Eyed, Tireless One, The Adventure Zone, 2.2k words

Minerva is here, physically present, and Duck's so glad to see her. The only question is what to do with her. They've got enough people hidden in the Amnesty Lodge basement as it is. (Immediately post Episode 28)

I caught up to Amnesty right after episode 28 was released, which is what we in the writing business call good timing. I immediately wrote this in a haze of love for Minerva and have not thought about it since. I think episode 30 confirms it as canon, though.

7/8

Not So Nec-Romantic, Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun, 1.7k words

Nene's been studying to join the Healers' Guild for years, and it's finally time for her admissions test. It doesn't quite go as planned.

Star egged me on to write this and then wrote their own, funnier take on an RPG AU, which would have been rude if it weren’t for the fact that I got to read the better fic without having to write it. My favorite part of this fic is Mitsuba and Kou charging in from their epic fantasy quest without noticing that they’ve landing in the middle of a comedy of errors. I kind of want to write what they were actually up to but also it’s funnier this way.

8/25

Open Seas and Ways Of Life I've Forgotten, Friends at the Table, 3.5k words

Cass is adjusting just fine to life on their own, thank you.

They'd be doing even better if their new teammate wasn't so eerily reminiscent of their sibling, but that's all right. They're definitely coping.

And here we hit the fatt tipping point of my year. The Kingdom Game was probably the point where I fully devoted myself to this show, and a large part of that was the ability to conspiracy-board all of Sokrates’ influences on Cass’ personality. I have not stopped thinking about the Pelagios siblings since.

9/29

Not the Only Ones Pretending, Friends at the Table, 1.2k words

It sounds so nice, in theory. Mako's just running into an old friend while going out for fried chicken. But even though the Chime has broken up, two of them in the same place can still throw the simplest of missions into chaos.

I wrote this in an hour after listening to the penultimate episode of Counter/weight because the Orth-Mako scene ended right where things got good, to my mind. I just wanted to know more about how the Chime interacted after the timeskip. This also marks the start of me defaulting to Mako’s POV in every other Counter/weight fic I write.

10/14

A Magic That Won't Go Cold, Friends at the Table, 4.5k words

Jacqui doesn't normally like being sent on bodyguard jobs, but then, she's not normally working for Joypark darling Aria Joie.

I’ll just come up with a fun Jacria AU to think about in my spare time, I thought to myself. There’s a lot to explore with an Aria who never left Joypark. I can come up with some neat bullet points and it will be a good time. Then I started connecting the bullet points and at that point I had an entire outline for a fic. It’s what they deserve.

10/18

Questions Ricochet Like Broken Satellites, Friends at the Table, 2k words

Kobus' entire life had been pointless, but for once, they could see exactly what they needed to do. Then Vicuna pulled them out of Liberty and Grace.

I could not tell you why I latched onto Kobus so hard, but that didn’t stop me from doubling the size of their ao3 tag in a month. This fic ended up pretty depressing, which is ironic since the whole point was to give them a happier ending than they got in canon, but at least they’re alive at the end of it.

11/4

Detect My Sudden Existence on Your Sonar, Friends at the Table, 3.1k words

AuDy didn't intend for the rest of the Chime to move in with them. They didn't object when it happened, though.

I had a lot of trouble trying to write from AuDy’s perspective but I’m pleased with the end result. Maybe next I’ll figure out how to do pacing and/or tonal consistency. I do like the Cass stuff at the end but I think my favorite scene from this fic is everyone helping Aria unpack her stuff and being goofy.

11/11

Telling Dreams from One Another, Friends at the Table, 1.3k words

Mako shows up on Kobus' doorstep holding a Divine, and doesn't even have the decency to bring fried chicken.

This started because I kept thinking about how Kobus’ form of Ambition would have been Faith and how close that comes to Loyalty, and then the more I wrote the more I liked the dynamic between Kobus and the younger Makos. A lot of it can be summed up as Mako being the mid-twenties upperclassman who looks at the freshman and goes “oh look, a baby” much to the freshman’s annoyance, except instead of being in college they’re both secret agents raised as weapons since they can remember. It isn’t addressed in the fic but I imagine this ends with Kobus following Mako back to Kesh and ending up with eight identical older siblings.

11/24

Find Out What Broke Me Soon Enough, Friends at the Table, 1.9k words

Kobus is still reeling from their failed attack on Grace, but when Aria Joie asks for their help, they can't think of a good reason to refuse.

Continuing the theme of “what if Kobus had friends,” I like the idea of Aria being worried about Righteousness consuming her and going to the one person she knows of who’s successfully stepped away from a Divine. Like the last fic in the series, I tried very hard to give Kobus a happy ending and they categorically refused. As it turns out, when you’ve been raised to see yourself as a sacrifice for the greater good, it’s hard to find other ways to make a difference, and Aria doesn’t know them well enough to push it. One day I will find the right combination of characters and circumstances to let Kobus rest.

12/7

Take Our Time 'Cause It Feels Like We're Dying, Friends at the Table, 1.7k words

When Cass coughed up the first flower petal, all they could do was stare at it in disbelief.

Yes, I know, hanahaki. I am surprised at myself too. I was just thinking about what it would take to get me invested in hanahaki and because of who I am as a person my brain immediately applied that to Counter/weight. I know where I’m going with it but I want to finish F&M before continuing, so keep an eye out maybe in February. Also, doing this retrospective made me realize that this is the second time I’ve used a line from this song as a title for a Counter/weight fic. Whoops.

12/17

The Movements of My Mind, Friends at the Table, 1k words

On his way back to Auniq for the negotiations, Throndir stops by the cave where he met Kindrali.

My first non Counter/weight fatt fic, and once again it is introspection about a Dre character, because without realizing it I ended up with a favorite player. I just like coming up with in-universe explanations for things that were probably mistakes on their part, and I’m always interested in how the Kindrali connection works. Even if I am now incapable of thinking of Kindrali without going “I wonder what day he remembers??”

12/25

Fantasy and Microchips, Friends at the Table, 9.2k words

Five times Mako hacks things accidentally because of Cass, and one time it's intentional.

The year ended as it began, with me taking someone else’s AU and writing a fic about it. In this case, it’s a comic done by drowzydruzy on twitter. I looked at it, went “that’s pretty funny, maybe I could write a fic about it,” and then two chapters in I realized how to exploit it for angst and pretty much didn’t stop. The trickiest part so far has been making Rigor references without getting too heavy-handed. I’m halfway through writing the last chapter now, so naturally I’m procrastinating by doing this meme. It’s actually a meta-narrative about defeating Rigor by not being too beholden to your own projects, or something.

#ignore me #fic retrospective #this will only interest me but i had to talk about my thoughts on a kobus-mako relationship somewhere