#it'd be a moment of pure stubbornness for them

[dislifeismid]

Dragon boyfriend supremacy

Or, Long mian headcanons that are draconic centered

Warnings: some mentions of pregnancy (not necessarily afab reader, it's just how he feels about it), in general kinda just some generic headcanons both swf and not. otherwise not much. Mian might be a bit ooc i don't have him yet :(

Minors dni

Pairings: Long mian x reader (romantic)

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His horns are his greatest annoyance- they're not super heavy but they're tall enough for him to hit them on a doorframe or something if he's not careful enough. He might have considered freaking filing the things at some early point in gaining them.

His tail often sways behind him, gently. It's a nice way to know that he's calm and unbothered. When he's angry it'l rise and angrily swat instead. Whilst if he's sad it'l drop to the ground lazily dragging across whatever's in it's way...

All his clothes need to be custom made it's so annoying that his tail rides up his spine :( well the fur does. He could wear something over it but it's uncomfortable.

His eyes are hazel as per his illustration god fuck the models in this game they do not transfer the art's vibes properly at all wHY ARE HIS EYES RED(?) ON HIS MODEL? THEY ARE VERY CLEARLY YELLOWISH IN HIS ART

Brush his hair!!!! Your weirdo dragon prince lives that~ be it the fur trailing down his spine, the scales running across his arms, his two-toned fluffy locks or his cool skin, he's all about it!! He often gets lost in thoughts and stresses about nothings and it helps him clear his mind!

You don't understand him and his interests at all probably but he loves you and that's all you need to know yknow? (I say he's possibly got some yandere in there what with his talk of frozen things collection...)

Speaking of, as a dragon prince it's only natural his inner dragoon asks for an heir. Which is probably why i like to assume he tends to prefer females. It's purely selfishness,but like this is Long mian he is not a good person idk what you expect from him. I don't think adoption is something he'd be interested solely because of how selfishly picky he is. If he has a kid it'd better have HIS dna inside god dammit >:C

But if you don't want or cannot get pregnant, if you annoy him enough maybe he'l crack. Unlikely but possible. You just gotta be as stubborn as him.

I don't even think he would mind wether or not he was romantically interested in the woman he'd just get his kid and dip if he's not invested he's not invested.

That being said that thought is definitely ALWAYS on his mind instead of being a lost thought if he's in love with a woman

He can't help it, sometimes your pretty icy dragon will zone out staring at you, images of you full with life running trough his head

Oh, he's all about that gucci life- you'l be dressed just as nicely as him always. It's just his aesthetic. He doesn't like warm colors so don't try to get anything out of him whilst wearing gold or something.

His pupils dilate and contract like a cat 👁‍🗨👁‍🗨

Subconsciously his tail might wrap around something like a snake, coiling around tightly.

His eyes always snap to shiny things, it's something he can't really help much. He doesn't hoard, i think that's a western dragon thing..? But he likes shinies. He can spot a lost coin or his keys for miles.

He is COOOOOLLLLD. Your ice prince is cold and i AM talking about body temperature. (Though he does also have a cold heart and maybe kinda sociopathic tendencies...), the tips of his fingers are blue, wether it's from the cold or a natural coloring that Ao bing brought forth is unclear but either way they are FREEZING.

He actively seeks heat and don't let his look fool you he loves just sitting in the sun. For this he also just really looks for body warmth in a partner, it's so comforting to coil around a little furnace.

He has his moments where he wakes up extra protective. He won't even allow his s/o out if he's not tagging along. You don't know why he suddenly does this 180, but you assume it's a dragon thing.

He puts work before quality time with you but that doesn't mean he won't pay attention to you. If you want to sit by him whilst he does he'l be glad, so long as you don't give him any trouble.

He's great at multitasking and he can even totally zone out while doing something. It's impressive if not offputting..

He can sleep with his eyes open, and he can sleep standing up- but he won't. Sometimes if he's waiting somewhere for a long time he'l doze off whilst leaning against a wall..

His horns are not sensitive. They are horns. They are bone. •_•

His tail though? Whole different story. Like cats he has a lot of nerves in that extremity of his body. It helps him with balancing himself and it's highly sensible to his environment- and it being pulled or tugged makes him think he's being attacked. You should never touch it with no warning less you want to get a bone broken in by a tail swipe.

Oh yeah he has great balance. He can pretty much nail anything related to that- slack rope is child's play to him.

That said he isn't much for physical strength. Sure, he's a dragon, and not just any dragon. But he was still human well at some point. His strongest muscle remains his tail.

He sheds( ONLY HIS TAIL)- usually it comes off in the shower. He's a bit embarrassed if he finds some of it peeling whilst he's talking to someone.

He's hard to read, not very expressive. Mostly expresses emotions trough body language and not tone or face expression.

Sometimes he'l just sit and stare at you. If he does he's either zoned out or thinking of something. Just wait for him to sort out his thoughts.

Get him little matching things! He'l keep them. It's fun to see him whip out his phone and there's a cheesy charm dangling from it.

DOES he have two dicks? The most realistic answer is obliviously no. The more fun answer is yes. Pick your poison.

Either way, he'l have you sobbing

His cum is iridescent, for the record, just like the shine of his scales ♡

It's thick and comes aplenty. Even his pre is ridiculously potent and comes out in a seemjngly constant stream.

He always comes inside.. maybe on you sometimes. Smudging the iridescent liquid until your skin is reflective. He's possessive is what i'm saying

He doesn't bite as much as you might expect from a dragon. But he can. Long snake like fangs that HURT.

He doesn't understand human limits i don't think so establish some boundaries because he does not care about your limit. You could be crying and clawing for dear life and he won't react

So inexpressive. Maybe it's because his dragoon sees sex as something purely for reproduction but the most you'l get is heavy breathing and soft mutterings under his breath (some ramblings to himself, a mix of praise and degradation)

Get a tattoo in his honor and it's all over for him. It's so pretty and it shows you're his ♡

It's kinda offputting just how far derived from his humanity he is but he has his way of love

Always giving you things, albeit he does it so casually it doesn't exactly feel that special

Plz give him cute dragon themed things he loves it. Give him some cute stuffed chubby dragon he won't visibly react besides taking it from you (with both hands, he always gives and receives things with both hands) and eyeing it blankly "thank you very much."

You'l find it sitting on a couch or a shelf 🙏 he doesn't like refusing gifts. More like he can't being himself to.

He's an expensive kinda husband, always spoiling you and expecting to be spoiled with materialistic things.

If you're very clingy and needy, good! He can pretty much deal with any type of lover, he's very adaptive. He also just KNOWS when he finds who he likes, he gets immediately attached and isn't shy to voice it. It's like Ao bing is just screaming "them. Right there. That's ours."

And Long mian is nothing if not a man of action.

#long mian smut #dislyte smut

[cuuno-moved]

Joel and the Terrible Day

an empires fic

tw for a description of a panic attack

...

People expected quite a bit of Joel, and part of that was that they expected very little.

They knew he was powerful, of course, they knew he was dangerous, but at the same time, they thought he was dumb, and oafish, and bad at politics. And perhaps he was.

He hadn't been a god long, hell, it'd only been a few months since he was a mere traveler searching for some good fortune, but here he stood, with all the power he could ask for, all the money he could need, and not a single clue what to do with it.

It was hard too, getting over his near omniscience. Remembering his past life, knowing that he'd once been little more than a porcelain doll with a silly little crown, it hurt. And it was confusing.

That may be why he was so cruel to the Sheriff.

The Sheriff wasn't like Joel was once, not at all, he was fully flesh and blood, but something in his loudness, his desperation to be heard, reminded Joel of his past life, of who he was once, and so he declared the man a doll, a toy, a lump of porcelain and paint.

And everyone followed suit.

That's the thing about being feared, Joel realized a bit too late, whatever you say, people will believe.

It's not like he pitied the Sheriff.

The man was far too loud, far too stubborn. If he'd politely asked Joel to stop, perhaps he would have, perhaps he would have left him alone, but instead the man made a commotion, started shouting and screaming about it like a petulant child or a toddler throwing a fit, so Joel remained steady.

He tried to pretend that precisely that immaturity was not also a strong reminder of who he was once.

There was, of course, another issue with being feared.

Joel couldn't ask for help.

Of course, he could, he could very easily ask Scott if he could help him sort through trade agreements, or ask Sausage if he could keep an eye on Hermes for a couple more days a month, or ask Lizzie if she could help him defend the borders of his country from mobs. He could very easily ask for help, there wasn't really anything stopping him.

Except, if he did, he would stop being Joel the infallible god.

If he did, all the fear everyone had of him would vanish.

If he did, all the power he held would be gone.

His followers and angels would still worship him, he knew. They didn't know him, not really, and they didn't see his moments of weakness. They viewed him, not as a fierce force of cruel nature, but as a gentle and good- if not occasionally cruel- god. He would not lose them.

But he would lose the other rulers. The people who he saw from day to day. The people who he needed approval from.

And that would ruin him.

So he kept his head up and his mouth loud and he fought through every single one of his issues like they were a personal attack.

And then, one day, he cracked.

It was such a small, meaningless start.

Pixl had rejected the trade agreement he'd spent a month on without even reading it, purely because he didn't like him.

Normally, Joel wouldn't have given a damn. He didn't even do trade agreements usually, it's not like anything of value was lost. But, nonetheless, that was the straw that began to crack the camel's back.

He kept it together, only whining a little bit to his head priestess, who very patiently patted his back and told him it was alright, he wasn't weak for being upset about it, it just showed how compassionate and human he was.

He fucking hated that idea, but he thanked her and told her he'd be alright.

Then, the very next day, things got worse.

It was his first day taking care of Hermes for a week, before he sent him back to Sausage's for the next week, and right off the bat, he knew it was going to be a tough one.

He loved Hermes, really, he truly did, but sometimes, they could be a lot. Too much. Enough that he couldn't breathe.

They sat under his marble desk, rambling away about anything and everything, describing how him and Daddy Sausage spent such a nice week in Sanctuary and he met Sausage's new friend Oli ("Is Oli going to be my new daddy?" They asked, innocently. Joel didn't have an answer.) and how they were so so excited to spend the week with Joel and do fun things.

Joel didn't have any fun things planned.

He didn't want to do anything.

He just wanted to stay home and be alone and give himself just a little bit to breathe and calm down and be a person instead of a god (or, even worse than being a god, even harder: being a father)

But he couldn't.

So he kept going.

Lizzie came to visit, unannounced, and he found he really didn't have the energy for her, something which she immediately noticed.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I've had a long couple of days. Pixl doesn't like me and Hermes is getting on my nerves," He said. Out loud, it really sound like much of a deal, so he tossed in a "I'll be fine."

Part of him hoped she'd frown, brush her head against his shoulder and tell him that was so sad, and ask if he needed anything, but, of course, she didn't. She just nodded. "Sorry. Did I tell you about the house that burnt down in the forest? Almost started a forest fire."

Joel hated fire. He was terrified of it. Of course, he couldn't say that, though, so he just shrugged.

He felt sick by the time she left, but he didn't say anything.

He was thinking about the trade agreement again.

He really had been quite proud of it, it sounded all important sounding, every bit carefully phrased.

Some part of him, he supposed, had thought this would be the chance to turn things around. The chance to prove he wasn't some dumb oaf who couldn't take himself seriously, prove he was capable of something. And Pixl hadn't cared.

He couldn't ask Pixl why it was rejected, either, because then he'd be admitting he cared. And admitting he cared was an action he couldn't afford.

He ended up cancelling his appointment with his ministers that night, and instead went home to lay down.

He felt awful. His head hurt, his hands were shaking and he felt like he was going to throw up. But he still had to cook dinner for Hermes.

"Daddy," Hermes asked, watching him put together some sandwiches. "Can we have steak?"

"No," Joel grunted. "We're having sandwiches."

"But Papa said you'd make me steak," Hermes pouted. "And I want steak."

"Sorry," Joel gritted his teeth. "I don't have the energy right now."

"But… but I want a ste-"

Joel slammed his hand down on the table, whirling on Hermes. "You're having a bloomin' sandwich or you're not eating. Are we clear?"

Hermes blinked up at him with beady little eyes, before suddenly their face crumpled and they began to cry.

Joel stared at them, before groaning, setting down the sandwich and kneeling. "Come here."

Hermes sprinted into his arms, hiccupping and sobbing, and Joel buried his face in his hair.

They ate in silence, and Joel tucked Hermes into bed with a kiss and a sigh, before walking back out into the hallway and almost collapsing.

He was so tired.

When was the last time he'd spent a day relaxing, doing things he enjoyed, not worrying about what people thought of him or what they would say? What was the last time he spoke to one of the other rulers as a friend?

Had he ever?

He sulked down to the edge of Stratos, looking at the clouds below. For a second, he wondered what would happen if he jumped, if he let himself fall away and disappear. Would anyone miss him?

It's not that he hated himself. It's really not. He thought he was an alright guy, strong and brave and smart and handsome. He had adapted to power so quickly, and so smoothly. He was a good person, even if no one else thought so.

But he was so sick of being here, of going through the motions, of doing so much for so little return.

He wanted, just once, for someone to ask what he needed.

He wanted, just once, for someone to hear he needed help and not view him any different.

He wanted, just once, to vanish forever.

He found himself in the mesa.

He did this often, got lost in his thoughts and wandered, finding himself in the desert, looking for a terracotta city full of clay people. Instead, he found a little wooden town, full of little wooden citizens.

And one flesh and blood Sheriff, who stood in the doorway of the jail house, hands on his hips, framed by the warm yellow light behind him.

"What are you doing here, Joel?" The Sheriff said, his voice steely. "At this hour, nonetheless."

"I'm taking a walk," Joel snapped. "Mind your own business."

"You're in my town, this is my business," The Sheriff shot back, but he squinted curiously, as if trying to get a closer look at the young god. "What's got you in a bad mood?"

Joel snarled at him, electricity passing over his arms. "Mind your business."

The Sheriff looked surprised at that, and hesitated, before slowly asking, "Are you crying?"

Joel jolted, touching his cheeks gingerly. Sure enough, they were wet with salty tears, the gold eyeliner he wore nothing more than smudges on his face. He swore, turning away from the Sheriff, scrubbing at his face.

Now that he was crying, though, he couldn't seem to stop. He took in shaky breath after shaky breath, hiding his face in his collar and- oh curses, he'd changed into his pajamas, the Sheriff was watching him sob in his pajamas in the middle of the night, now everyone would know he was just some weak mortal in the skin of a god.

His knees struck the hard ground and he gasped, leaning forward so his forehead touched the ground.

This was the worst night of his life, he thought, and if only he could get up, tell the Sheriff he'd kill him if he mentioned it, tell him to forget everything, if he could just get up-

"Hey, it's alright," The Sheriff said, softly, beside him. "Hey, no, come on, breathe."

Joel obliged, pressing his head to the other man's thigh. It was embarrassing, for sure, but it seemed to help, and the Sheriff didn't seem to mind, carefully brushing his fingers through his hair.

Eventually, Joel could breathe again, and he sat up, desperately scrubbing the tears from his face, shoving the Sheriff away lightly, trying to maintain what little dignity he could. He was covered in dust, and his shirt was probably going to be permanently stained from his eyeliner, but he at least felt a little better.

"Forget that," He grunted harshly. "You saw nothing."

"Do you want to talk about it?" The Sheriff asked, sitting back. His brown eyes shone in the dim light. "It usually helps me to talk about things when I get upset."

"I'm not-" Joel scoffed around the lump in his throat. "I'm not giving you that kind of blackmail material."

"I'll tell you something about me," The man said softly. "So if I tell anyone, you can tell everyone."

Joel stared at him. Why was he doing this? Joel had been tormenting him for ages, making his life a living hell, ruining his reputation and credibility and town. And yet he was offering to listen to him, something not even Lizzie had given him.

"Pixl rejected my trade agreement," He said, weakly. "Because he doesn't like me. And I don't care whether or not he likes me, I get that, I don't try to be likeable, but I spent a really long time on it and it's the first time I've ever really done one and I don't think he ever read it. And when I tried to tell Lizzie, she didn't care, and just changed the subject and started talking about a fire, and I hate fire."

The Sheriff blinked. "Oh. I'm sorry-"

"-And Hermes is happier with Sausage," Joel continued, breathlessly. "And he wanted steaks for dinner, but I can't make steaks for dinner every night because I don't have energy or time and then I made him cry because I yelled at him, and I think I'm a horrible father, but I don't know what to do about it and-" He stopped abruptly, his mouth clicking shut. He wasn't sure he wanted to say the next part.

"And?" The Sheriff prodded, gently, tilting his head. "What else?"

"And I need help. I really really need help- nothing big, I just need some frog lights and a babysitter and I don't-" He took a deep breath. "If I ask for help people will know I'm not unbeatable. They'll know I'm…" It was quiet, dead quiet, and then he finally let it out, in a whisper. "I'm human."

The Sheriff didn't seem particularly surprised by this, just confused, and part of Joel was relieved, but another part felt sick. "What do you mean you're human? Like you mean you're flawed?"

"No I mean… I've only been a god for a few months, almost a year, and before that, I was just a guy. I'm not… I wasn't trained to be a ruler, I wasn't ready to have this much power, I'm just…"

"Oh," The Sheriff blinked at him, wide eyed, but finally he nodded. "Okay. What do you want to know about me?"

"You were serious about that?"

"Yeah, of course," The Sheriff said, patiently. "Anything."

"What's your name?" Joel asked. "Like, your actual name?"

"James Solidarity," He said, immediately. "But my friends call me Jimmy."

"Your friends?"

"Just fWhip," Jimmy grinned ruefully. "He's the only other one who knows, I guess."

"What about your family?"

"You're asking a lot of questions, mate."

"I gave you a lot of information."

Jimmy huffed, nodding. "Yeah, that's fair. I've got two brothers, Martyn and Grian, they don't live around here. Martyn calls me Jimmy, Grian calls me Tim."

"Tim?" Joel asked, chuckling. "Why Tim?"

"Damned if I know," Jimmy grinned. "He's been calling me that since we were kids."

Joel took one last deep breath, sitting upright and cracking his back. "Okay. Okay, I feel better now. Thanks."

"One more question," Jimmy said, carefully. "Before we go back to being enemies."

Joel winced at the reminder, but nodded. "Yeah?"

"Do you… why do you keep saying I'm a toy?"

"I mean, all your citizens are toys-"

"-They're only toys because you turned them into toys," Jimmy cut him off. "The truth, Joel. Please."

Joel stared at him, and he stared back, and for just a minute, Joel considered flying away, going home and pretending none of this had happened. But he didn't.

"Part of godhood is memory of past lives," Joel explained slowly, carefully. "And… ugh. This is hard. In my previous life, I was, apparently… I was a doll."

"You… wait, you were a doll?"

"I- technically, I was a living clay figurine, but, um. I lived in the mesa, I was the king of the mesa actually, and I was short and loud and all I wanted was for people to pay attention to me. You remind me of him. Me. You remind me of me. And it hurts to remember that because he was… he was so much happier than I am, and that's…"

He went quiet, finally.

They were both quiet.

Finally, Jimmy moved, wrapping his arms around him. "Sorry."

Joel laughed, thickly, the lump in his throat choking. "I should be the one apologizing, mate."

"I'm not stopping you."

"I guess you're not," He wasn't crying anymore, and he was just tired now. Finally, he huffed, shrugging Jimmy off and standing. "Alright. I'm sorry for bullying you."

"Thank you."

"This doesn't change anything," He warned him. "I'm not going to stop."

"I wouldn't expect you to," Jimmy said, standing and squaring his shoulders. "And I won't be any more lenient towards you if you were to break the law."

"Understood."

For a second longer, they stared at each other, both of their walls slowly rebuilding, but at the last second, right before Jimmy turned away, he paused.

"I don't… like I said, I don't like you any more than I did earlier. But… if you need someone to watch Hermes, you can bring him here. I'll keep an eye on them for a bit."

Joel stared at him. "I… yeah, I might… I might take you up on that."

Jimmy nodded, and then he crossed his arms and scowled. "Alright then. Now get out of my town."

"Oh, like I want to be here anyways," Joel sneered. "Toy town for a toy boy."

Right before he turned to fly off, he caught a glimpse of the Sheriff's face, and, to his surprise, he was smiling.

And, to his surprise, he found that he was smiling too.

#joel smallishbeans #dave's author arc #other people show up but im not tagging them #this is pretty much a vent fic. #<- thats a lie it's literally just a vent fic thats all there is to this #points at e2! joel he's just like me fr fr

[siidera]

[ @dutybcrne — cont. from ★ ]

He'd told him, he'd told him. To ignore his true origins, that'd make things all the more easier for him. But... perhaps he hadn't considered the consequence of that only pushing Kaeya further into wondering about the lost nation. Foolish, in hindsight. To think it'd lead to this, Dainsleif caught within the Abyss' grasp, caught off guard for a mere moment. The fates of the knights who'd accompanied him unknown.

Still, even with himself successfully hauled off to whatever hellscape he resided in now, he'd fight his way out. If Dain was anything, he was stubborn, a thorn in the Abyss' side since day one, only pushing in deeper. Besides, whatever information he could gain from this could prove useful to the Knights of Favonious.

Hands gripping firmly against Kaeya's forearms to keep them against the wall, daggers were glared. Expression one of pure disgust as the name of his nation was spoken. "Silence! You have no place to speak that title to me! And as far as I'm concerned, you abandoned your own title the moment you were enticed by those wretches. I will never join the likes of you."

#dutybcrne #〚 ⠀★ ⠀〛— 𝒅𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒊𝒇 - 𝒊𝒄

[patchesproblem]

I have the strong urge to ramble about Tes and Eins so here I am. Slight warning that my writing may get confusing, so I'm very sorry about that. There'll be my personal headcanons plus other things I feel like talking about. There'll be a few jokes because I need them for my own sanity.

Rambling under the cut

Slight edit while I'm writing: I accidentally hyperfocused on one specific part so oops. I could fix that but I'm not so have fun reading my novel. I'll end up having to make a second post to finish my headcanons off because it's almost eleven and I'm still not done with them sobs.

These two have been living rent free in my head and they're driving me insane.

Tesla is 100% softer in private with Einstein and I will die on this hill. She's still an absolute menace to society, but a gentler one. What I mean by this is that she's more 'open' in a sense.

She lets her guard down purely because she trusts her and knows that she wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Things like feeling safe enough to not wear her glasses / contacts, being vulnerable, showing affection, etc. However if Eins ever teasingly brings it up in front of others she gets flustered and defensive and tells her to shut the fuck up.

Both Tes and Eins are extremely stubborn as well and I will also die on this hill. Literally they'd been in love for years and just refused to admit it because they were embarrassed. Though they were both also horrified that if they did it'd completely destroy their friendship if the other didn't feel the same way, so that played a part in it.

Funniest part is that everyone else knew they were dating before even they knew. They'd been living together for literal years and shared a bed. Totally best friend behavior right there.

Eventually Einstein was the one who caved, though it wasn't intentional and she wanted to disappear off the face of the earth at first.

An important thing to note is that over the years they both created their own way of communicating. They'd essentially developed their own language through the sheer power of mathematics. For a brief explanation on how, they assigned meaning to each string of numbers / equations. To go along with it there was a specific indicator. This helped distinguish messages from their normal work. It was originally made because they wanted to be able to send each other messages when they needed something, but they also just used it to talk to each other without anyone knowing.

The reasoning I bring this up is because it was ultimately what brought them together. At some point Tes was out for a meeting the majority of the day (probably arguing with and or insulting senators or something idk) and Einstein was home for a majority of the day. It was in the middle of winter and the heater for the dorms went down leaving everyones rooms cold. Eventually the cold caused her to become sentimental and made it where she couldn't ignore the repressed feelings, and combine that with the fact Tesla wasn't home she just kinda emotionally died.

Eins journals, and while Tes is aware of it and doesn't care, she keeps a hidden one she doesn't know about. Although at this point both of them were fully comfortable talking to each other about anything, it was one of those things that she still needed sometimes. Writing was (still is) one of the main ways she copes with difficult events / emotions.

Considering at this point neither was sure what the other thought she couldn't just talk to her about it. This was one of those moments where she needed to either write or talk with someone, and she didn't want to bother anyone. After a while she eventually dug out her second journal and started writing (basically rambling) using theire math language (because it was less embarrassing, plus if anyone else found it they'd think it was just part of her work). Originally she had planned to just put it up before Tes came home, but unfortunately for her she just completely forgot time existed for a few hours.

Tes did end up coming home around ten at night and sat down by Eins, exhausted and just wanting to be with her. She eventually glanced down to see what she was working on. Although it took her a minute to process what she was reading, she eventually realized and went completely still and channeled her inner lobster turning bright red. Eins eventually realized she was there and when she turned to tell her hi she quickly realized time was actually a thing and that Tes was not, in fact, completely illiterate.

They just stared at each other neither knowing what to say, and Einstein just wanted to disappear off the face of the earth. Eventually she decided to make an attempt at speaking, though she couldn't really get it out without stuttering. "T.. Tesla I-"

Tesla just kinda sat there before forcing herself to say they needed to talk, and proceeding to stand up and immediately tripping trying to go back to their room.

After about twenty to thirty minutes of Einstein just pacing back and forth preparing herself to get absolutely murdered and freaking out internally, she forced herself to actually go talk to her. Though Joachim probably got several texts along the lines of "Fuck. She knows this isn't a drill please help me." and him just essentially replying with "lmao good luck" and proceeding to go to bed. (Tesla had texted him less than ten minutes before freaking out. He was just happy they both were being forced to talk and he could be left alone. Both him and Joyce deserve financial compensation because they were both stuck in the middle of this for years. Joyce only escaped because he decided to just die on them and hid himself specifically so he didn't have to deal with their insanity.)

Eventually she poked her head into their room to see Tes just sitting on their bed. Just staring at the picture of them that was normally on her nightstand looking like she was about to cry, not even noticing her there.

Eventually she just said "Tes can I come in." Causing Tesla to get startled and look up before just nodding her head and looking down. The insanity continued, with Einstein trying to apologize and Tesla just telling her to stop, meanwhile on the verge of tears. After a few minutes of silence, Tesla eventually looked up and just asked her if she meant what she wrote. Einstein said yes, crying insued and they were finally together officially.

Joachim was now faced with a new problem of them being happier than ever and refusing to shut up. The Welts never win.

#einsla #tesla #einstein #honkai impact 3rd #joyce mention #joachim mention #I put jokes in here because I feel embarrassed throwing this out onto the internet for everyone to see #but I do have a serious version in fanfic form I might post later #idk #the pure power of lesbianism always wins #patches rambles #2022 posts #nikolas posts

[echologname]

When you see these things, you will be happy.You will grow like the grass.The Lord’s servants will see his power.But the Lord’s enemies will see his anger. Look, the Lord is coming with fire.The Lord’s armies are coming with clouds of dust.He will punish those people with his anger.He will punish them with flames of fire. The Lord will judge the people with fire.He will destroy many people with his sword.He will kill many people. “These people make themselves holy and pure to go to worship their false gods in their gardens. They follow each other into their special gardens. They eat the meat of pigs and rats and other hated things. But they will all be destroyed together,” says the Lord. “I know they have evil thoughts and do evil things. So I am coming to punish them. I will gather all nations and all people. All people will come together and see my glory.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isa.66.14,Isa.66.15,Isa.66.16,Isa.66.17,Isa.66.18&version=ICB

I don't recall God punishing me when I decided to reject Christianity and try witchcraft (don't judge, I couldn't believe it either because I had loved God my whole life. While I was going through something traumatic, demons kept pestering to me and lying to me and I couldn't make it stop until I mentally and emotionally snapped after months and began to self harm.)

During the REALLY difficult years of this period, God saved me multiple times, protected me, answered my prayers and fought for me. I only suffered because of my own self inflicted stress and consequences for foolishness (I was just a teen, I think I can be forgiven for a rebellious, depressed, immature and stubborn phase). But I was STILL His. I was STILL His child, His chosen servant. I was never His enemy. He kept knocking on that door waiting for me to open it again. Kept trying to reach me though I was in the clutches of evil and had become blind and deaf to notice Him. So God loved me. He knew how to reach me where preaching at church failed (I was too hurt and stubborn to listen or understand). He showed me how my Mom loved me and how I loved my dogs was what He thought and felt for me, but even moreso. I would do anything for my pups and for God to love me MORE?! It's inconceivable! 😮

I didn't have a big revelation that instantly brought me back, it was little things over years that slowly added up. I'd say my "revelation" moment was recently when I thought my tachycardia was literally killing me and it'd be the end, for real this time. I was sick, miserable and scared and just wanted healing, just to not feel like I was constantly on the verge of a heart attack. So, this past December 31st, I laid in bed and decided I was going to beg to be crucified with Christ, since I hadn't asked since coming back, it was like we bonded again like we always had when I was a kid, like nothing happened. I asked Jesus to come into my poor broken body and share in my suffering and remake me holy and just stay with me and never leave me because that was my deepest desire, to not be alone and it's only recently that I've pieced together that I already have that and always will. It's one thing to be told, "God's always with you," ANOTHER to see firsthand His presence in my life and how He's always had a hand on EVERYTHING, every crazy, scary, stressful thing! To know HE'S the reason, that car only scratched me, as I walked across the street and the distracted driver didn't stop. HE'S the reason, that high woman didn't harm me and neither did that criminal I was in the car with (I didn't know at the time). HE'S the reason I never froze all the times I walked alone in northern USA winter and ALWAYS made it back home safe no matter how far I wandered into the city. (Seriously, don't judge me walking alone in a big city, I had no car and couldn't drive).

I'm saying, God, WAS there, through ALL of that suffering and I wasn't aware until I did some reflecting years later (Yes, I know I'm dumb. It seems obvious now that it was GOD the WHOLE time.)

#god is faithful #god is merciful #god is just #christian #born again christian #bible verses

[jinxed-games]

But what if MC loved horses and ride them, would the mage bear with it?¨MC can always be found on the stables, invites him along to their long rides. Hahaha, a test of love for both parts.

They would for the MC.  But if the MC is less formal, or just generally expects them to tell their opinions then you can bet that they’ll be complaining.  

#The Mage #Ritar #Eirina #even if they're enjoying themselves #it'd be a moment of pure stubbornness for them #Royal Spy

[pourcap]

thoughts: pg chapter 5

a couple sentences in and i'm already nervous and confused !! :)

Damen forced down his frustration, reminded himself that Laurent was in possession of an able mind, and that therefore his, 'No,’ had a reason behind it other than pure stubbornness. Probably. have i ever mentioned how much i love damen's sass?

'(...) You’re not thinking like a leader. You’re too used to doing everything on your own.' i LOVE him. truly, genuinely, absolutely love him and his brain and how easily he seems to see right through the reasons laurent acts the way he does sometimes

damen and laurent going on an adventure??? AAAAH

okay so!!! as a former equestrian i want to say that i love the subtle hints of laurent being an incredible rider/horse lover, especially given the time period where a lot of people were able to ride but that doesn't necessarily mean they're good riders/horsemen. being able to ride without reins isn't super difficult bc nowadays you learn that but back then it's not like everyone cared about being gentle on a horse's mouth by being careful with reins and relying more on other aids like your legs and balancing your weight. anyway, i love laurent <3

sorry i kind of drifted off into horse girl territory there

'This doesn’t suit me,’ he said, meaning that it didn’t suit him to wear them. ‘No. It doesn’t. You look like one of us,’ said Laurent. He looked at Damen with his intolerant blue eyes. that was intense...?? that's just a pretty strange reaction given the fact laurent was pretty civil with damen before. i mean, i get it since he very obviously hates akielons, so to see one wearing veretian clothes must be jarring, esp considering how damen is probably close to auguste's stature since they're described to have been equals when it comes to athleticism, fighting abilities, etc

(...) he was holding his pants up with a casual hand. oh no

noooo not aimeric i hate this

'Good luck,’ was all Jord said. jord is pretty chill with laurent just leaving with damen, who'd definitely have one or two reasons to want to kill laurent?? kind of cute how he immediately guessed it'd be damen accompanying laurent though <3

'(...) This is your arena, not mine.' / 'This is not my arena,’ said Damen. hhhhh i love them

not damen getting horny again...

Damen felt the moment when his pulse kicked in, remembering the love seat in the garden bower, and Laurent’s cool voice giving explicit instructions: suck it, and, tongue the slit. oh right. that happened. now that i know just why laurent was so knowledgeable about how to suck dick i wanna throw up again :) (not that what he had ancel do to damen in that scene was not horrible)

Laurent rose from the reclining couch. ‘If I’m paying gold, I’m in charge.' he is so insufferable sometimes lol

The golden hair, and the fine clothes, and that face of his—of course he had been identified. i like how damen is constantly aware of how beautiful he (and probably everyone else) finds laurent

'The plaster’s old,’ said Damen. ‘Here.’ He took hold of the grille, and gave it a tug. (...) He changed his grip, braced his stance and put his shoulder into it. (...), the whole grille came away from the window. (...) ‘After you,’ he said to Laurent, who was staring at him. Laurent almost looked as though he was going to speak, but then he just nodded, (...). OH MY GOD???? laurent was speechless!! and i get it!! whyyyy is damen so hot?? why is he so unaware of how hot that was?? why did he not seem to notice that laurent obviously thought that that was hot?? what the fuck. what was that. what did i just read.

i LOVE damen

i love everything about him

'I’m not the one who has to hide his identity,’ said Damen, (...) hmmm... right

Laurent said, ‘After you.' nooooo the callback to what damen said to him after casually ripping out the grille!! he's flirting!! this is flirting!!

Damen opened his mouth. Closed it. THE PARALLELS

ohh?? nicaise's earring?? this is so wrong on so many levels holy shit

but !!!! the flirting

the way they both participated in getting things done in their own way!!! damen with his strength and laurent probably on his way to deceive and manipulate some people!! i love this

genuinely love this

After no more than a brief, dismissive glance at Laurent, the innkeeper gave Damen his full attention, greeting him respectfully. ‘Welcome, my lord. Will you and your pet require lodgings for the evening?' i can't do this :) i'm scared of chapter 6

#lamen #capri #captive prince #captiveprince #damen #damianos #damianos of akielos #laurent #laurent of vere #damen of akielos

[lilmissbacon]

Frozen 3 concept

I'mma start off with explaining that I'm not the biggest fan of Frozen and I'm definitely not a fan of Elsa's character in general.

But as much as I love the songs and outfits of the second movie, the inconsistencies and how it never explains how sh🤬 works in the world with magic and such are just infuriating. As well as why the spirit that connects them controls ice which is just a variation of water. And how the Frozen franchise just loves to make Elsa more special within every installment.

I am so very tired of it. So I came up with a way that it could all be fixed and make sense if they make a third movie.

Also to note that Anna and Elsa are supposed to be two halves of the fifth spirit but that's VERY briefly touched in movie (quote: well actually a bridge has two sides and mother had two daughters) and Disney themselves take Elsa as the fifth spirit alone so that's stupid.

Why Elsa specifically controls ice

We all know how we're frustrated with the fact that Elsa is supposed to connect all the elements when she only controls ice.

But let's think about it from another prospective. The first movie is based about the seasons. It's a seasonal theme rather than an elemental theme like in its sequel. So why not bring that back?

The enchanted forest cannot be the ONLY place that has mystical spirits. What if there were three other forests with their own fifth spirits and each fifth spirit represented a season?

And each seasonal spirit's magic is a mix of two elements.

Elsa/Winter: Ice = water + air

Spring: Plants = water + earth

Summer: Lava = earth + fire

Fall: Lightning/Storms = air + fire

This still fits in with the fact that the fifth spirit can play back moments in time as well. Each spirit has their own Ahtohallan. Elsa's is made of ice because it's just frozen water and the water is was plays back those moments in time.

Spring's would be like an island made of plants, fungi and marsh. Plants have water running within them so they can take the form of moments in time like Elsa's ice statues.

Summer's would be a volcano with a river flowing through it. Lava and water can mix to create lava rocks. When doing so the memories within that water would be imbedded into the rocks they form and therefore be able to play moments in time as rock statues.

Autumn's would basically be a fog bank with almost ghostly figures making up the memories since fog is a mist, aka: water. Kinda like the scene where Elsa fights the wind spirit and their powers mix for a moment.

Where the others come from

For this, I decided to look around other lands within that side of the world that has legends of spirits. I decided upon:

Spring = Scotland

Summer = Arabia

Fall/Autumn = Japan

I chose for Arabia to be summer, of course , because it's a desert country so it very hot. Japan is autumn because it's culture and everything just always reminded be of the beauty of fall. And Scotland is spring because that's what was left and when I think of Scotland, I think of it's green forests and plants.

Nothing too deep.

Personalities

You think I'd make Summer hotheaded and spring, giddy and bouncy, right?

No, because you see, as I've stated in another post of mine; Why Frozen Doesn't Work In The Big Four, I explained how Elsa's personality reconciles more with summer. The opposite season of her own.

Elsa is kinda quiet, gentle, diplomatic, practical, worries silently and is angelically innocent (even though she doesn't deserve to be).

All are traits relating to summer. So if her personality is opposed to her season, then it'd be the same for the other fifth spirits.

Spring would be a leader, confident, energetic, true to a cause, dependable, easily irritated and stubborn.

Summer would be reserved, well mannered, a good listener, natural poise and pessimistic.

And autumn would be energetic, tender-hearted, optimistic, friendly and overly talkative.

How the spirits work

I fully believe that the spirits have no physical form but rather inhabit certain things. Basically possession but the spirits don't have control over themselves once they choose a vessel and depending on the solidarity of what their element is, determines what kind of vessel they need.

The wind spirit is said to be a playful spirit and would want to make its own choices. Being an element you can't hold, it doesn't really need a host.

Water is liquid and needs something to be it's host but doesn't necessarily need something alive. Therefore it can inhabit a small animal or it inhabits its own element, hence a water horse.

Fire isn't a solid or liquid but it's not necessarily a gas either. Fire always needs to burn on something in order to burn. Therefore it cannot just make out it's own body like water but it doesn't need a large vessel. Hence, a little salamander.

Earth is the most solid of them all so it would need multiple hosts in order to sustain itself. That's why there are multiple earth giants and not just one like the other spirits.

I believe the spirits don't have control over their actions once they choose a host because all the spirits (besides wind) seem to not know what's even going on most of the time. And that would explain why the spirits didn't get rid of the dam themselves, because their vessels didn't know that was the problem.

I also believe that they need a host to begin with because they are actually susceptible to death. As it has been confirmed that Elsa is NOT immortal and there wouldn't have been a legend of a fifth spirit if people hadn't seen one before.

It would also explain how the spirits drove the citizens out of Arendelle without physically being there; they managed to leave their hosts for a time in order to do so. Along with what the light that Elsa was following at Ahtohallan, was. The fifth spirit was able to sustain itself by staying in its birth place and activated the memory of Elsa's mom singing, to bring Elsa there and when Elsa's dress transforms is when the spirit possesses her.

Why does the fifth spirit need to be human? Because humans are more durable. The fifth spirit doesn't control anything completely solid like rock so it doesn't need multiple vessels but it also controls more than a single element, therefore is too much to figure out/control for just any animal.

That's why it chose a very young child to give it's powers to rather than the person who actually did the deed of saving their enemy. It needs to be someone who will have the time to learn and control their powers by adulthood.

(Despite Elsa not truly being worthy and being a horrible sister, she was already chosen at birth and she at least gets the job done. At everyone else's expense but still.)

Plot

How would the seasonal spirits meet? Why would they leave their homes for this? What brings them together?

The four sided snowflake represents the elements connected to the winter spirit. Every season would have their own version of this. But there are also four seasons just like there are four elements.

So, could there be a fifth spirit for the fifth spirits? A fifth spirit to connect the seasons and if so, what is it? What's their power?

I believe, much like the winter spirit called to Elsa, the ultimate fifth spirit will call all the seasonal spirit's to come together at a single location. Anna would come with Elsa as well, of course, and during their journey, they'd all eventually meet each other along the way.

Eventually Anna would start to feel a little neglected when Elsa keeps talking to / about the other people who also have magic. Anna doesn't wish for magic, but she wishes for Elsa to finally see herself and Anna as equals (because Elsa clearly wouldn't after finding others like herself, let's be real). So Anna goes off to have her own sort of "Show Yourself" moment and is the one to find the location they've been looking for which is where she becomes their fifth spirit; the Aurora Borealis.

It was in one of the original scripts for the first movie that Anna was gonna have the power to control the Aurora Borealis, but then the creators decided that took away from Elsa's agency for self isolation due to her powers.

It's true that Anna having been able to accomplish what she did without powers is one of her best attributes but Anna becoming the light spirit is really the only way she's gonna get any appreciation within the fan base or the disney community. Plus Anna's done all the work to begin with so she deserves it.

With the other spirits being seasonal & elemental, it would only make sense for the one to connect them all would be light.

But all the spirits also have an opposite to balance them out:

Fire | Water

Earth | Air

Winter | Summer

Spring | Autumn

So maybe the reason they were all being called there is because Light's opposite is Darkness and it's plotting to take them all out. They are in charge of keeping balance and darkness wants to create chaos. But you also need darkness for balance, so maybe someone else will be with them through the journey and become the vessel for darkness in order to control it. Because, again, spirits have no control once they have a host.

This could be a possible redemption arc for Hans. We could learn about what he's been through and what truly drove him to be the bad guy because from what we know of his brothers, they were really bad. I think he just really lost a nerve due to unintentional (or intentional) abuse and was trying to prove to his family that he was better than they believed. People who suffer from abuse can be irrational like that.

I think it would be a phenomenal thing for him to overcome his inner darkness while also taking control of the literal spirit of darkness.

Metaphorical-wise it's beautiful.

Art/Designs

I edited the other seasons + Anna off of concept art for Elsa's white dress while Hans is kinda my own creation but I still used his concept art for a base. Everything after that are purely original.

Location they are led to ⬇️

Let me know what you all think 👍

#frozen #frozen 2 #disney #fifth spirit #concept #elsa #anna #frozen 3

[torturedpoetemotions]

We know the general idea of Dean's type but less so Cas'. It's basically Dean and possibly Balthazar. Any one else you can think of? When Sam and Dean do the synchronized motion thing does Cas look at Sam for a moment then shake his head like a wet dog?

Actually I think Cas's type are rebels and contrarians, lovers of free will and yeah, hedonists even, if the hedonism is born out of real desire. He likes people he can relate to who also represent in some way the things he wants but doesn't think he can have. It's no coincidence that you listed Balthazar there, but I think Meg belongs on the list too.

I'm a gay Cas truther but I also think Cas had genuine feelings for Meg and even attraction that settled into fondness later, once he Figured Some Stuff Out. But the affection was real and I cannot help but remember lines like "all that thorny pain...so beautiful." He saw Meg for exactly what she was and he liked her. He liked her so much. And part of that was she's a funky lil rebel and also kinda out of her element with other demons after too many years in the Winchesters' orbit, but part of it was that she always knew her purpose, and I think Cas envied that surety so hard that it became a crush.

And yeah, Balthazar. A lover of free will like Cas but also, unlike Cas, a pure hedonist. He did things for the enjoyment of them. Not because he was running from something or filling a void. He had a menage-a-what's-French-for-twelve because he genuinely thought it'd be fun, and it was! And he did all this at a time when Cas was constantly having to do things he didn't want to do and deny his own desires for the mission at hand (remember "much of the time I'd rather be here" and "certain regrettable things are now required of me"?). Cas bonded with Balthazar over his rebellious spirit but also envied his ease with going after what he wanted.

Now Dean. Oh Dean. I feel like this could be its own essay but Dean is humanity. He loves so much. He fights so hard for free will that it breaks him when he thinks he never had it. He cares about people. He can be so selfish at times. He's so flawed and messy and human. And Castiel loves that because he has always been drawn to humanity. He and Dean related early onto each other's guilt and uncertainty about doubting their fathers and purpose. That part of Dean that was the Good Son but now wonders if that made him a good man or not resonated so deeply with Cas because Cas already felt that way, too. And he envied--lusted after--humanity's beautiful messiness and the lovely things it can create, which Dean embodies.

Now. I would argue Anna and Crowley also fall into Cas's type, but the key difference is they both also are perceived by Cas as rivals for Dean's affection, thus he doesn't crush on them so much as resent them loudly.

EDIT: All of this is also why Cas absolutely does not ever develop a crush on Sam. Sam, bless his heart, is not a rebel, or a hedonist, and he doesn't embody anything Cas wants. When he rebels it's out of hubris or stubbornness, rarely genuine conviction. He spent half his life as an aspiring normie and lowkey bootlicker, and Cas didn't even like him until he mostly shook that off around season 9. Sam is also a strategist and thinker over being a feeler. If anything, he represents who Cas conformed into for Heaven, something Cas adamantly does not want.

In short if Cas was ever going to develop a crush on Sam, it would have been during his weird girl phase after he started getting chummy with Rowena and doing things he wanted to do, then setting his jaw at Dean like he dared him to say boo about it.

And by then Dean and Cas were happily married and Sam was brother-in-law zoned, so.

#supernatural #castiel #spn meta #ask box #anonymous #lizawords

[sam-roulette]

your personalityswap is kind of brilliant ?? i went into it thinking it'd just be straight crack, but the amount of care and nuance put into everything really blew me away. how exactly did y'all come up with whose personalities swapped with whose?

thank you anon !!! It takes us a little longer to get chapters of the personalityswap fic together than the other aus, but its always a Lot Of Fun!! 

As for how we ended up coming to this, the short answer is that in April 2020 one of the Sams said he was surprised he hadn’t seen a personalityswap tma fic yet and that Leitners are basically a fanfic trope magnet, specifically Spiral Leitners for crackfics. Said Sam gave the first swap with the words “give Martin Elias’s personality and let the chaos ensue” and then Not-Sam responded with “Elias is gonna have a Time after suddenly growing a Tim-sized conscience” and the rest is history!

The long answer is under the cut but tl;dr : we built the au off of the concept of unleashing two “stable” personality swaps (Jon with Martin’s personality and Tim with Jon’s personality) and two “unstable” swaps (Elias with Tim’s personality and Martin with Elias’s personality), and going from there. 

So why are the former two swaps stable and sustainable while the latter two are set to implode on themselves? To really explain, you’ve gotta get into the fact that in all honesty, lived experience shapes much of your personality, and some personalities are more conducive to some backstories than others.

Jon!Tim: Since he’s possibly the most stable out of all the swaps, let’s start with this little quiz. 

A man’s first brush with the supernatural ends with them frozen in fear, watching helplessly as someone else is killed in their place by forces far beyond their control. Said man feels immense guilt over not having been able to do something about it, and that guilt translates into a terrible need for answers. Said man ends up working for the Magnus Institute research department, wherein they meet others who share their immensely intensive research ethic. Said man is transferred to the Archives later on, and from there, his life becomes an unending series of tragedies which lead him to facing down the very Entity that ruined his life and the lives of all those he loved in his eleventh hour.

Am I talking about Tim or Jon?

Trick question. I’m talking about both. Which is why Tim having Jon’s personality is possibly the most stable swap of the batch. Their backstories are already so similar that a lot of the core basis of what makes Tim himself- the base lived experience, the memories which will always stick around regardless of the rest of the personality- doesn’t necessarily reject Jon’s stuffiness or drive to find answers, even at the cost of all his relationships. ESPECIALLY since this is Tim in season 3, leaving him at his most isolated, his most angry, and his most driven to find the Circus. 

His circumstances in s3 are remarkably similar to Jon’s in s2, with the added “bonus” that no one’s trying to really reach out to him- no one but Jon, that is. Jon, who before this moment has given Tim the least amount of reason why he should be trusted, after s2′s paranoid breakdown. This brings us to

Martin!Jon: He’s adorable! He’s a bit of a mess! But he’s trying his best to reach out to everyone, especially since he knows how horribly he’s cocked everything up last season. 

The thing about Jon and Martin’s personalities is that they both are actually pretty similar in a lot of ways, even back in s3- both can have their moments of pure stubbornness and can get a bit mean, but ultimately they are both people who are trying to be good. s3 Jon is already a Jon that, to start with, wants to trust people- he wants to make the active choice to trust the people around him, even when his every instinct is screaming to buckle down and back away. It’s that lived experience that gels neatly into Martin’s desire to actively be kind to people, even when he doesn’t feel that it is inherent to himself. 

And, the fact of the matter is, Jon’s backstory isn’t at all incompatible with Martin’s personality- it’s just that, to nail the nuance of the swap, we have to think about Martin!Jon as having not just canon-Martin’s personality. We have to think about it in terms of, what would Martin’s personality look like if Martin had grown up in Jon’s familial situation instead? If Martin had been allowed to finish high school and go to uni and, even if he felt his mum resented him, had a mum that still tried to care for him? 

So Martin!Jon is even a little softer than Martin himself, a little more in tune with the people around him. There’s times where he’s more confident, where he can speak up and make it known that he’s still got some useful skills, and where he also doesn’t mind showing moments of vulnerability. Sure his default mode is still to bottle up the Really Bad emotions, but in his day to day? this is a Jon who’s more expressive than both the Original Jon and Original Martin

Which of course brings us to one of the more unstable elements in this fic

Elias!Martin: This guy. This motherfucker. At first the swap seems a benefit.

He’s now more confident! He’s more ambitious! He’s ready to organize, to strategize, to work together with others to reach his goals! He’s no longer taking anyone’s shit, even when it’s joking, and he’s able to enact mind games with Elias Bouchard himself. 

But, under the surface, there’s a contradiction.

The contradiction is evident in this simple fact: Elias Bouchard, Jonah Magnus, has the personality of an obscenely rich Victorian who gets everything he wants no matter what. Martin Blackwood almost never gets what he wants.

Martin’s backstory is wholly incongruent with Elias’s personality. Martin has spent his entire life giving away almost everything that makes him happy. He gives up school and his childhood for his mother to try and fulfill his duty as a son, trying to sympathize with her and believe that she might yet love him. He gives up his sense of self-worth, deciding that living as an impostor for the rest of his life is a risk he needs to take to survive. He gives up his heart to Jon while believing that he’ll never have it in return. 

Elias’s personality, on the other hand, is a personality that is tailor-made to take and take until nothing else is left. It’s something that clashes with the core of Martin’s character, and that clash is going to continue the longer the personality sets in, as Martin desperately holds onto his core desires. 

Even if it means he has to think about it as if he’s merely protecting what’s rightfully his with Elias’s personality in his head, the end result is the same- he wants to protect everyone in the Archives. Even if that means he takes from the rest of the world, even if it means he himself is slowly worn thin, it doesn’t matter.

Even now, he just needs them to be safe, and he just needs to survive.

#tma #ias #in another's shoes #personalityswap #i guess this also counts as meta? whoops jvhbkj lol

[icharchivist]

Oh no I agree w/you on not being hard on fans who think differently. One of the reasons I like fan discussions is to read other people's thoughts and try to understand where the ones I disagree w/are coming from. That's just my personal view and reading of the character. I think lately the stress has been getting to Chaoji so he's extra harsh and that's going to be unattractive to Allen's friends. I also think he's wording things the wrong way. It'd be better if he said I'll fight the Noah -

2 instead of I'll fight Allen or telling Allen's friends to forget about him. In this way Chaoji is, whether he means to or not, making it sound like Allen is JUST a Noah. Which.... Is actually a interesting thought. What does the average person think how a Noah works? Does he think Allen is 100% gone now? *shrugs* Either way agree to disagree on some parts. I have no probs w/fans so forgive me if it sounded I was harsh to them. I was just naming of groups I saw and thought it was interesting.

Ahh alright, sorry then for the lecture! it’s fine, don’t worry now that it’s cleared up. 

I think i’m getting a little paranoid of some fandom arguments? especially when it starts to involve how some fans react to some controversial events. Bigger fandoms have been so filled with dramas (there had been a lot of push back against people liking not pure uwu characters that i get defensive at the idea of judging how someone may approach a controversial character they may like) i tend to end up having red flags over silly things i would probably have used myself a few years back. 

Your argument was fine, and honestly pretty mild in that term, i guess i’ve just had seen enough more virulent argument to be a little.. *alarms bells* upon reading some vague keywords. 

So my point is, my bad, i’ve got a little defensive there and judged your ask too harshly. I apologize.

Now back to the topic, yeah agreed on Chaoji. I honestly think Chaoji doesn’t know what details makes a Noah? I mean, the Order didn’t know before Road made her introduction and the Bookmen had to explain to them a few things. No one knows what it is like to turn into a Noah, no one knows about the awakened memories, and hell, the 14th is already a specific sort of Noah (i say it with all the love, but Nea isn’t a Noah Memory like Joyd is, he’s a parasite inside Allen’s body: his own being, not a memory that awoke in Allen, so even that when you know Noah’s development logic, is weird)

Chaoji didn’t become an exorcist until after the Ark’s arc and no one had any reasons too explain to that random crew man who was just helping carrying Lenalee around what little secrets they had learn about the Noah. So I think Chaoji still sees them as “they control the Akuma, they are rotten to the core, and once they turn there’s no come back”, perhaps projecting what he knows of the Akuma (which in which case is true, once an akuma, the only thing you can do is kill them with innocence for salvation - no attempt to really save them. Which makes me think, Chaoji did know Chomesuke- i think he wasn’t developped enough to have a reaction to him, but the fact Chomesuke had to destroy himself bc he couldn’t resist to its nature anymore might have added to this argument that there is no salvation for Dark Matter). 

For Chaoji I really don’t think he had the time to know about Noah stuff, and everything we know about how Noah comes to be come from Noah’s POV, so not something the Order may know, let alone a stubborn exorcist who hates them by principle. Allen tends to extend his compassion to non-humans because in a way... if he had seen Mana as non human the moment he would have turned him as an Akuma i think Allen couldn’t have stand it. (also i ended up mixing up with FMA but that reminded me of how Ed refused to kill the armor guys in the Lab 5 even when they kept saying they weren’t human anymore, because if he did so it would just imply that his brother isn’t human either and that it’s his fault that it is like that. I think the same reasoning can be applied to Allen @ the Akuma and extend to the Noah as long as the Noah are on the “side” of the Akuma. Ironically though considering “Mana” ended up becoming a Noah. Well. Always was, but you get my point)

Meanwhile the only strong feeling we’ve seen from an exorcist @ the Noah for being a Noah, was Kanda saying that since they are humans (which Skinn repeated) then they could be killed. Which i personally always took as a reassurance on Kanda’s part of reclaiming his own humanity and Alma’s, since they were denied it as kids and perhaps the only thing that, after all the horrors Alma had done, that made him human was that Kanda could kill him. Kanda asserting the Noah’s humanity in order to convince himself that death is part of humanity would, if i’m correct, be a sort of projection to protect that memory and identity, the same way Allen projects on others. 

But for the others, Lenalee had never hesitated around the Noah, even upon meeting Road, she quickly fought back. Lavi has a bad experience with Noah but he’s neutral enough to care more about what Allen wants in the end (when Allen wants to rescue Tyki the whole thing is about “the guys at the Order will look badly at it but if you think it’s important...” and not “why you do want to rescue the guy i wanted to kill a few hours ago”)Then there’s mainly Krory with the twins (and Lenalee to an extend) and I think there was too much irritation going on about them being brats more than them being Noah that went on there. 

But from Chaoji’s point of view who knew nothing about them, had spent his life hating the dark matter for taking what he loved, he saw.... Well Tyki playing with Lavi’s grief and threatening Lenalee, before trapping them in the Ark and trying to kill Allen, he’s seen Skinn  attack everyone and they then left Kanda behind with him, he’s been here a huge chuck of the Jasdebi fight just to see the Twins being Absolute Disaster Making You Lose Faith In Anything They Ever Represent (And It Happens To Be The Noah This Time) (did i ever mention that i love those stupid twins? I love them. They’re so dumb.), Road destroying Lavi’s mind and torturing Allen into forcing him to destroy Lavi, and finally the Lullubel attack on the Order that killed a huge amount of people. And if we extend the timeline to when he could have caught up his next meeting with the Noah in the Alma arc made him KO, kidnapped Lavi and Bookman who are now thought dead, and Fiidora’s parasites tortured him when he was powerless to save Lavi and Bookman, which might add some feeling of guilt there by the by. 

Without understanding of the Noah he just saw... the sheer destruction they brought along with them.

So Allen saying “I might become a Noah and you will have to kill me” - well I think seeing how horrible the Noah had been up to this point was enough for Chaoji to think that if Allen became one, it would override all of the good qualities Allen had. After all he has never seen the Noah before they became Noah.

Tbh It makes me even wonder if being introducted to Tyki in his human form (and Road to her human form as well but it’s more minor than how they befriended Tyki before that) may have made more possible for Allen to want to try to see that humanity. Because he saw this humanity with how Tyki behaved with his friends. More than just... hearing about “Oh apparently he has friends” that Chaoji would have heard from Allen, Lavi and Krory’s reaction upon meeting Tyki again. 

In a way, the fact Krory also has this association adding to how much he cares for Allen to relativise the way “becoming a Noah” might affect Allen - in a way Chaoji cannot. Because Krory saw Tyki having seemingly meaningful friendships with humans so, becoming a Noah wouldn’t come out as completely monstruous for him a way someone who just know the Noah might. (that, and also how his love for Eliade was serious and might make him more willing to believe in that humanity, even if Eliade told him in the end that she was just using him. Krory didn’t know she was lying - but he might hold on to that feeling).

So adding to all of Chaoji’s unchecked prejudice, there is this complete unknown over people he had only known as cruel. He has never seen their humanity the way Lavi, Krory, Kanda and Allen has. Then again yeah it doesn’t excuse anything because Miranda and Lenalee for exemple are in the same situation having suffered first hand from tortures from, well, Road for exemple, but trusting Allen above all while just as much in the dark. Even if depending how much the infos Bookman gave came to Miranda and Lenalee before Chaoji joined the Exorcist Group.

So that ended up being a lot of rambling dkjhfd but my point is that therefore, Allen is the one to see the humanity of the Noah the most, Krory and Lavi has reason to at least know personally Tyki’s human side to doubt how the Noah’s cruelty works, Kanda had had how he met with Skinn to approach it, else every exorcists before Chaoji was recruited might have heard a bit from Bookman but that’s it. Any other sort of acknowledging this humanity would come with trusting Allen. Which Chaoji doesn’t. 

And no one knows what “becoming a Noah” is like. And while Chaoji wasn’t there and i’m certain Lveille lied, but Allen did have a swift change of behavior and personality at least twice in the Alma’s arc for everyone to see (when talking to the Earl + when Kanda stabbed him). Even Johnny saw that. A second hand retelling could just convince Chaoji “well perhaps he had no control and it doesn’t matter what kind of person he was - once a Noah, you become a monster” and that could be enough.

That was a lot of ramble i’m so sorry dkjhfd but yeah. It’s a mess. 

And it’s just... there’s no way Chaoji can know. All he could do would be to trust Allen. Even seeking for answers isn’t exactly a position Chaoji is in, even if it would be preferable if he did question what he thought so far (like the others do) rather than just thinking “yup, he’s a goner, i’ll fight him”

if that makes any sense kdjhfd

idk Chaoji’s perspective is kinda fascinating to me. I dislike that he has it and doesn’t question it, but it’s fascinating to see how being emotionally disconnected from every elements we have ended up caring about can make someone like this. It really shows the price of emotional investment for me to see how Chaoji behave. He’s kinda the Counter-audience in that regard. And that’s what makes him fascinating, for as much as i dislike him as a person ahah. 

#ichafantalks dgm #Anonymous #ichareply