#it's how i've always felt

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[uncanny-tranny]

"haha, are you an art gay, a science gay, or a math gay"

Actually, I find the division between art, science, and math to be a very nebulous idea and useless when you actually interact with the universe. The more you learn about the world, the more you surround yourself with art and science and math, and you'll never be able to see it any other way and it will be beautiful. When I take your hand, it won't be the science of our atoms closing the distance between us that we will experience, but the math of our fingers interlocking and the art of our bodies that we will experience. You are math and you are science and you are art, and nothing will make you any lesser💛

#positivity #the planets are singing right now. are you listening? #if you can't experience the art of science and the science of art then i think you're missing out #the more i intentionally try to learn the more i love art and sfience and the world 💛 #i was always more of a humanities person but i've grown restless and taking up science??????? holy shit?????? #i was in class the other day and a very simple concept finally clicked in a fundamental way and i think that's why i'm alive actually #i think i know how michaelangelo felt when he painted the creation of adam #this is why i really encourage y'all to look up on youtube some free lectures because some of them are so amazing #like i watched a lecture about elements and it's still fucking me up when i think about it #this is also why i despise the whole 'modern art isn't really art; it takes no skill 😡' thing people like to do #please sit down and paint one of the installments of Who's Afraid of Red Yellow and Blue #i've learned to appreciate that installment and art series as of late and i think it's nice art #i love this stupid fucking world 👾

[akai-anna]

Hello there, dear @itsokaytomakemosstakes!

I was your assigned gift maker for the @dcmk-exchange event!

Ever since you shared your lovely mugs with me, the thought that Ran would get them as a matching kitty set for herself and Conan, wouldn't leave me alone. So I decided to embrace the idea; for both the headcanon and the personal touch.

Originally I planned something more silly, but the soothing vibes of my first sketch were just so lovely, I went with this instead (especially since I thought you might appreciate a bit of peace).

I hope you'll like this, and I really have enjoyed chatting with you, Moss!

#dcmk exchange #dcmk-exchange #detective conan #dcmk #meitantei conan #名探偵コナン #edogawa conan #fanart #the detective gremlin #my stuff #HELLO THERE: TIS I YOUR GIFTER AND I HAVE ARRIVED #i'm sorry i'Ll be ranting in the tags (as i wont to do) #*inhales deeply* i know you said you wanted something silly but... the image of him drinking from his mug was so soothing to me #i hoped it would be a bit soothing for you too *fidgets with hands* #i'm not really good at fanart but i saw in your form that you would like a fanart if possible #and i wanted to give it a try and i actually really loved working on it a lot i accidentally got into the zone for hours #i mostly used markers and a bit of coloured pencil to colour his pajamas. #(a very light green which the scanner killed but well...) so a mixed media piece? #i also felt more comfortable for going with a semi-realistic style? i always wanted to do my own interpretation of shinichi's adorable hair #and i tried to imitate how gosho colours hair since i've always liked that style. an attempt was made at least #i really hope you like this at least a tiny bit and if you ever want to talk you are more than welcome to #and stay strong darling. and let yourself heal and grieve. give yourself all the time you need. #i also didn't want to set too high a bar for myself since i have a weird relationship with doing fanart. so i kept this fairly simple. #but i'm really satisfied. more than i thought i would be. so thank you for this experience a lot!!! #i also wanted to go for the feeling that he is tiny... so the mug is big and he is tiny... extra tininess... a baby... #also me realizing late in the game that i wanted to add a tiny blush but... well... *coughs*

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

it's 20 degrees btw

#(celsius) #my art #i felt like drawing harry again and his looks lately have been making me so happy #i mean when haven't they really #i feel the need to clarify bc i used to do a lot of tracing line art but this is freehand !! #ever since i got an ipad last year i've gotten a lot better at drawing digitally #i followed that one ref pic of him with this puffer and then kinda looked at the pic of him and mitch and sarah for the mouth #i always enjoy playing around with shadows and how one tiny little line has an enormous impact on the whole picture

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[descendant-of-truth]

Losing my mind over the fact the Possession Event is described as a painful experience for Klug, because to my knowledge, it had kinda just been a widespread headcanon that he was particularly bothered by it until this game came out.

Yes, his little spirit looks very sad and scared when trapped in the book, but narratively, he just goes "ahem, that was a totally controlled experiement" and it's never shown to be anything more dramatic than that. Now, we're not only being given an idea of how he felt about it at the time, but also finally some insight into why he still carries the book around; he wants to control its power for himself.

Which is an INSANE reaction to have to being possessed, by the way. "A demon sealed my spirit inside a book and used my body to attack my classmates, better keep it with me at all times until I can pull a Reverse Uno Card on it"

If I didn't know better, I'd say it seems like he's trying to protect everyone by keeping the book from falling into the wrong hands... but maybe he just wants the power all to himself. A little of both, perhaps?

I also can't help but notice the fact that the only times Klug has reportedly talked to the book out loud has been inside a dream world of some sort. In PPT, Schezo's chapter takes place in a dream, as does the entirety of Puzzle Pop. Does this suggest that Ayashii can only communicate with him in his dreams, or is it just a coincidence? "Lately" is a pretty vague timeframe, after all.

(We've also only heard of them talking to each other when Sig passes by, and both times an argument has ensued... I wonder if they're arguing about him)

#puyo puyo #puyo puyo puzzle pop #klug puyo puyo #strange klug #puyo puyo puzzle pop spoilers #puyo puyo spoilers #analysis #meta #I'm not sure how they could argue about Sig without Klug knowing the demon's intentions though?? #I've always felt it was kind of unclear how much he knew on that front #Maybe with future updates we'll finally get some answers #(Also the file name for that screenshot was 'Eating this.png' which says something about me I think)

[maxsix]

#san #wooyoung #seonghwa #ateez #jongho #woosan #woosanhwa #i just noticed this #bc i love this video #this was so cute #but also #i've never felt so close to san #i too want to hug wooyoung #wy looks low key pissed off at something here #he always just looks either extremely cheerful or extremely moody #there's no chill middle ground #how tf does san handle all this lol #that giant vein down wy's arm kinda reminds me of veiny ****

[jakeperalta]

literally obsessed with abc getting hold of buck and immediately going "before we do anything else let's just make it clear that man is NOT straight"

#obviously the show was wonderful in its time on fox but what we've already had from the first normal non-disaster episode #makes it clear that fox was holding them back soo much #like buck obviously but also sort of retackling the previous athena and harry stuff #and I've always found it very noticeable how gun related calls were essentially non existant #so being like 'here's a heartbreaking story of how an ordinary person having a gun in the home had terrible consequences' felt Significant #and to think we have a whole s8 coming from abc too..... what a time to be alive! #911 #911 spoilers #talking

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Drew WWX and LWJ after I finished my rewatch of The Untamed a few months ago. I have gotten marginally better. May this set a benchmark for what to expect from this blog.

Edit: June 2023 redraw

#Poorly Drawn MDZS #MDZS #wei wuxian #Lan Wanji #there are a lot of great artists in this fandom. I am not one of them #I've always admired artists a lot so I wanted to try learning how to draw #And the only way to start is to draw a lot. Enter the audio drama (and my desire to listen to it guilt free) #doing both at once was my way of participating in my own fandom #as much as I wanted to be super social on the MDZS forums...I honestly got really nervous #I have nothing to contribute besides going 'cool!' to other people's art #Writing and historical/theory posts. It kinda felt worse than isolation... #That aside...I am just here to dump my silly comics and I expect absolutely nothing to come of it #I'm blogging like that lady from that julia child movie. about the cookbook. I forgot what its called. this is just a journal to me

[fauchart]

JUNE 2023 VS JUNE 2013

Decided to redraw a piece from ten years ago that was very important to me back then. Many things changed from that time, and it's always nice to have a look above your shoulder to see how far you've come ♥

The original:

Details under the cut

#ocs #the reaper #my art #it was strange drawing him again - it had been a while. I used to mostly draw him when I felt terrible as a way of venting #he was the expression and the personification and the relief from pain all at once #a bit funny for the anniversary to have been now when i've been a bit down in the dumps again. it was fitting hgbhb #anyway. it was nice to draw this old frienemy again #and revisit the old brain world #if you must get anything from this it's that you should always stay to one day be able to look back #and realize that it was worth sticking around #anyway. i don't like this piece as much as i wish i did - i'm not happy w the composition and contrast. but it shall do for this decade #can't wait to see how it will look in ten years #it's a nice goal i think

[neorukixart]

Friendly reminder that idk how to do cities background ;w; Well, have my fav boi Pav although idk if I got the details right OTL I need the movie so I can go frame by frame uwu

#spiderman #spiderman: across the spiderverse #atsv spoilers #spiderman india #pavitr prabhakar #atsv pavitr #spiderman across the verse #across the spiderverse #it's funny how I've been a spidey fan for years since I was like 4 but I was always scared of doing fanart for the suits details haha #anyway I tried #I wasn't even gonna add the background #but I loved how the render came out that I felt I really needed to add a background #so... tried to trace some bgs from trailers but failed terribly thanks

[gxlden-angels]

I love getting validated on small things that I didn't even consider like it's always a treat and this time it's Gender

The Fundie Baby Voice™️ has been popping up a lot in ex-christian spaces lately and I actually had one in middle school and part of high school! I learned when and where to use it and how to turn up my southern accent just enough. I can still do it but it sounds weird after 3 years on T. The main place I used it was at church cause it made me sound sweet and polite. I used it for old ladies when I worked at a grocery store too. My family didn't like it when we were just all together cause they said it sounded like baby talk, but loved it when I used it at church cause everyone would tell them how sweet and soft-spoken I was

My therapist said it actively made him feel uncomfortable when I used that voice. He couldn't quite put his finger on why it made him uncomfortable (other than him only knowing me on T) but he very much did not like it and he's so so right for that

#he's a cishet white jewish man so it's always a treat when I talk about something like this #cause it started off about how I felt like my gender is a performance and I will use it to my advantage #I usually talk fairly neutrally and monotone so people find it uncanny when I change it up #especially if it's the way I talk to my family and the church folks that ask about me #Now that I'm on T and had top surgery I love fucking with ppl via my gender presentation #I like the chaos of not correcting ppl and watching them fight amongst themselves over what my gender is #My previous gender was Weird Little Girl #and now i'm Just Some Guy #I don't feel like I was always a guy I feel like my gender at the time was Weird Little Girl #and it changed over time but I loved the performance of being a weird little girl #I was not a girl I was specifically a WLG #And well I still know how to use my old performances even if I'm no longer a weird little girl #I consider myself a guy but not a man and a girlie but not a woman #my gender is whatever is funniest at the moment #My gender is whatever you project onto me. My gender is a mirror to your childhood trauma #anyways I kinda lost the plot but yea I can kinda still use the fundie baby voice but it sounds a lil off #cause I've been on T for over 3 years now #ex christian #religious trauma

[ingravinoveritas]

Love these two in their cute little complementing glasses... (x)

#david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #love the glasses so much #i've always felt that Michael has a thing for David in those glasses #and i imagine the reverse is also true #as well as the thought that they both compete to see who can fog up the other's glasses the fastest #interpret that how you will #they are perfect together your honor #ineffable lovers

[unproduciblesmackdown]

set out to create a serious, canonesque drawing with which to say "feel free to go in my lackadaisy tag and help me mystery speculate" but only got going when i made it bowling and the rarepair agenda

#not that i imagine anything w/mordecai's Rare so much as: diluted range of possibilities lol. probably someones on that mordecai/virgil life #when it turns out it takes several tries to start to get more solid footing at drawing characters for the first time: What The????? #i actually don't think i ever tried drawing lackadaisy before; against all odds....if i had i would've had a head start lol #lackadaisy #corned beef #any collectively used pairing name here? mordenico? nicodecai? in absence of otherwise Knowing: #nicodeme savoy #mordecai heller #me in '07 going oh my GOD this ART!!!! me in '23 going oh my GOD this ART!!!! & guess how i've always felt years in between #goddd perusing the gallery bonus art afresh recently just like WOWWW i'm SOOO #the collages of full-body drawings for book purchases i think like my GOD i love to see it. plus that the Extra Stuff gallery means there's #such a variety like. stuff that's clearly noncanon; stuff that could be / kinda is; jokes; portraits; story / characters insight....waaughh #also shoutout to everyone behind all the mordecais in KS Backer Art 1 & 2 like ''sexy mordecai please'' apparently lmao. hell yeah #anyways my Marigold Bowling Team headcanons are simple and straightforward: nicodeme w/the muscle can get a strike from the force of having #hit one pin that smashes into all the others; but don't underestimate his versatility. mordecai with the precision / method & absolutely #who you want trying to hit the only pin left on the lane. serafine's got like serpentine curveballs changing velocity halfway down the lane #and they've All got pointing a gun at the people setting pins / returning balls b/c that wasn't automated back in the twenties #back when everyone had customized printed tees....oh fun fact. a real live kitty cat crinkled that first pic's paper by jumping on it #or really; ricocheting off of it. classic #also the ''i want people to seriously consider nicodeme/mordecai. but also sillily'' purposes have me using Close Contact as a shorthand #it's earnest and can sure be [longhand] too but you go ''You Could Never HC Datingly Affection ft. An Always Touch Averse Character'' & i? #well i scoff derisively and slowly swivel my chair around to face you; arms crossed; smhing....hah. how greatly you underestimate my power. #you're throwing [hcs for a romance ft. an autistic character] & [that ft. an asexual character] & i'm grabbing them midair & Sips Them #ha ha why these replenish my health And experience bars.... #Never Be Afraid To Forget To Draw Mordecai's Glasses Or That You Also Put Your Thumb In A Bowling Ball....he's warming up. or w/e. #nicodeme w/the boxing experience shoulders massage trope. giving that pep talk #or you can go ''get a strike or we kill you'' b/c you never have to find out if he's joking or not #mordecai unfazed b/c that's the stakes in this business (bowling) & he's autistic so always having to ignore Everyone being weird/confusing #haven't come up with a lackadaisy's team bowling pun name lol. #still feel free to go in my lackadaisy tag and help me brainstorm mitzi n mordecai's murder mystery ;w; enrichment

[bonefall]

Ashfur eats Clear Sky?!

fitting end for him tbh

Yepp. Ashfur eats him and gains access to an insane amount of power, on the level of a small god. Something about the fact that Skystar, Patron of War, is trying to prevent the oncoming tide of peace... only to be killed by someone stronger and more ambitious than him in the end...

It's poetic. That the only time he ever worked with others was to save his own skin, dodging the jaws of One Eye, only to end up in someone else's gob. He won for generations, he was on top of the world in the most literal sense possible.

And it still wasn't enough for him. He ends up creating a greater villain than he could have ever imagined, and finally pays the ultimate price.

It's a justice a long time coming.

#I've always felt bad about asking for help but now that I'm back in school #I think I really should start asking around to see if anyone can help me organize OTL #Because I now have 5000+ posts on this blog and organizing has never been my strong suit #In spite of how hard I've tried #And this project is so very large that I know it's hell on earth for a newcomer to find all the strewn-about details #And like I could TRY to power through organization BUT then I can't make NEW content #Which is the most fun for me and everyone else I'm sure #BB!TBC #better bones au

[stardestroyer81]

yo congrats on that P rank :D

⭐ STAR P-RANK SCREEN REAL??? ⭐

Oh my gosh, thank you!!! For context, last night I completed the Noise Update and absolutely refused to take down Pizzahead until I P-Ranked him— it took a little over an hour of nonstop attempts, and I only ended up making it to phase three two or three times, though I'm pleased to announce that I've P-Ranked all bosses as both Peppino and The Noise!

I thought I'd doodle a quick something to go along with the superb P-Rank screen you drew! While I've still yet to conceptualize Star Tower's P-Rank screen (I have a general gist of how it's going to look and I've only drawn complete art for the D-Rank screen), I'm absolutely going to reference facets of your own if I may, especially the star spotlight; that's probably my favorite detail!!! ⭐👾✨

#Mail Time with Star #⭐ Star's Art ⭐ #Star Tower #Pizza Tower #Pizza Tower AU #The Noise #Star Splitscreen #Peppino Spaghetti #Aseprite #Sprite Art #Coolness #Seriously though I can't get over how cool that P-Rank screen is. I deeply appreciate you drawing such a cool piece!!! #Initially I wasn't going to P-Rank Pizzahead at all seeing the third phase includes a particularly distressing sprite #Those who know know. Those who don't... it involves the Doise and I suggest you not go looking for it if you're sensitive like me #But I just felt COMPELLED to go out with a bang once I reached Pizzahead. And besides I could always look away once said sprite comes up #And seeing as I barely made it to the third phase I didn't have to see it repeatedly #I feel like I have it in me to 101% the game as Peppino and Noise though it's going to take a lot of practice #I've yet to match my bestie Pan's gamer panache in P-Ranking every level #But for now? P-Ranking every boss as both characters will do just fine!