#its too big but thats fine <3

[inkmaze]

lazy outfit pics but a woman stopped me twice at the supermarket to tell me my outfit was very 80s and that she loved it 🤙 tbh I think it's just the jacket pulling its weight but still hell yeah

#txt #n another woman complimented my eyeshadow :3 #btw this leather jacket was a $20 market find hell yeahhhh. been wearing it sooo much since i got it #its too big but thats fine <3 #80s androgynous is like a vibe i do love so 🤙 extra hell yeah. its workin #anyway. the woman originally called from her car and my friend and i were?? bc we didnt know which outfit she was taking about #but yeah was nice :0 #the second time she was at the checkout n she was apologizing in case she had spooked me from the car. good of her to check i guess 👍

[feline-evil]

Dethvanity is really funny to me conceptually as an episode because you can see how little they had to make the characters insecure about for the bit. They swing for obvious lowblow choices with Pickle' baldness and Nathan's weight and even those require some suspension of disbelief because ok. Sure. Nathan '(said extremely proudly) never skipped a meal in my life!' Explosion is insecure about being a big man now. Nathan *guy who everyone thinks is smoking hot 99% of the time* Explosion is a tiny bit larger than usual and is insecure about it now. Lol. Lmao even.

But anyway then we hit Skwisgaar and Toki and there's like NOTHING to swing for, you can see them going uhhh ok Skwis doesn't sleep he probably drinks a lot of coffee, and Toki? Shit, what does Toki have to be insecure about with his looks. He's perfect, he's adorable, he's ripped. Um. FUCK IT, HE'S DOING NOTHING BUT EATING LEMONS. WE GOT NOTHING, WE GOT NOTHING, JUST GIVE THE BOY CITRUS FRUITS.

WOE 🍋 BE UPON YE

I'm sure i could make some smarter points about the attempts at applying vanity in this ep and how outside of this and a few other moments i do actually like that the show rarely takes pot shots at things like Nathan's weight, but you see Nathan has shirtless scenes in this one and so my intelligence is impeded when all the blood rushes out of my head and into my-

#metalocalypse #jay talkin #I LOVE TOKI'S LEMON EATING CHALLENGE HES ON IN THIS EP. BABY YR STRANGE AND PECULIAR #pickles being insecure abt balding is funny too. my man has chosen a hairstyle that is actively making that worse for himself #buddy if u didnt have whiteguy dreads impromise yr hair wld be healthier. but we love u for yr octopus swag anyway <3 #also hi nathan dont listen to the tv listen to me you look great. hi hello. im unsheathing my sword to cut down anyone who makes u feel bad #EVERYBODY IN UNIVERSE IS A COWARD. ITS BIG BOY SEASON. COME GET U ONE #dethvanity isnt in my list of favs i think most its humour is rlly easy lowballs but i find it funny for reasons outside of that #which is namely the show trying to make charavters insecure abt things when they absolutely are not any other time lmao #trying to find things to make skwis and toki insecure abt but theres NOTHING. ITS RLLY FUNNY #listen. putting my hand on everyones shoulder. lets not ignore the elephant in the room this show is uh #OFTEN VERY FATPHOBIC. so its no bastion of rep just cuz it doesnt take all the pot shots it cld at nathans body #it still does take some and theres plently of fatphobia outside of nathans character #but i do like that nathan is a bigger guy and outside of a few eps thats just treated as smth fine! its not remarked on outside of those! #and i think his body is drawn really well and i like that hes permitted to be sexy and to be like. seen with his body out just as much #as like anyone else in the band. like yeah duh nathan explosion is sexy in universe ppl are rocking with this. AS THEY SHOULD BE #idk like i say. not denying the show its fatphobia just saying i like how nathan is treated and portrayed a lot of the time :]

[jonathanssweatercollection]

you still resent nancy and jonathan for getting together???? for “hurting steve’s feelings”??? despite the fact that he verbally supported their relationship like 2 hours after seeing them together. this from a season that released 6 fucking years ago. a season prior to him saying that he was NOT in love with nancy anymore. do you want me to call shawn levy and tell him of your dilemma. bestie do you need to rewatch the source material

#ppl will use ANY excuse to hate nancy and jonathan to prop steve* up #their flanderised ‘pwecious little babygirl’ steve who is a delicate little flower who’s still butthurt over his high school breakup #albeit s4 did completely surrender to this bs characterisation bc the duffers don’t know how to write a storyline for steve that doesn’t #involve him being a lovestruck loser nowadays. SAD #get me in that writers room i could give him something good thats not egregiously repetitive #funny that the post that sparked this was an ANTI MURRAY FANFIC?????? in 2023. bc him suggesting jon+nancy should be together was unfair to #fuckin STEVE?????? #1) murray is literally a jokey funnyguy character. he’s a little guy it’s his birthday he makes risotto studies martial arts is a conspiracy #theorist who daydrinks and snores on airplanes. he’s SO unserious #if u want to hate on him thats fine good for u whatever but do it for. normal reasons. like encouraging teenagers to drink and have sex in #his bunker. like he was not normal for that i get it i used to kinda dislike him for that too but like. its literally not meant 2 be #that big of a deal. nothing matters there’s no point the show hasn’t been genuinely good for six years nothing matters go outside go to bed #anyways. happy 3 AM everyone im going to sleep love and what have you on planet earth #stranger things #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #jonathan byers #mine

[sonknuxadow]

idk its weird how a lot of the companies making sonic merch just go "oh we'll do classic sonic stuff for the adults and modern sonic stuff for the kids" when some of the modern sonic games are old enough now for there to be adults who grew up with them or weren't even born yet when they came out. and there's also probably plenty of adults out there who like modern sonic games despite not playing them as a kid for whatever reason. there's not a strict never broken pattern for the age group someone falls into and the sonic media that they like. now please make more modern sonic shirts that fit me thank you

#and im sure theres also kids out there who really like classic sonic it goes both ways #but thats not really as big of an issue because they DO make plenty of classic sonic stuff for kids #its literally only the adult sized stuff that goes ''ok hered a picture of classic sonic just standing there. you get no other options'' #they also tend to make movie sonic stuff for kids but not adults #however the first sonic movie only came out like 3 years ago there arent any adults who watched them as little kids yet #so while its still a bit disappointing as an adult who likes the movies #the divide here doesnt feel quite as pointless and unreasonable as the classic/modern one does #and like i KNOW that kids are the target audience so theyre always gonna take priority. thats fine #but by making sonic merch for adults theyre making it clear that they know adult sonic fans exist and theyre willing to make stuff for them #and i wish they would keep literally any of us who are too young to have been a kid in the early 90s in mind. you know

[that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

Since Hyunjin specifically asked us not to make memes of him with the signs, I made memes of him with the signs :)

"well poop"

Is this precisely what the sign said? No. but it's still funny

#the last one is my reaction to pecsracha in the recent album photoshoots #and the time when my mom accidentally came across the Chan clio pic and she didnt say anything but i wanted to crawl into a hole 🙂 #i still put the 143 in there tho bc its true #i do get the feeling tho lately that they're showing more skin bc they feel like they have to to make stay or the company happy #and if thats true then i want them to not feel like they have to sell their bodies #bc if they were girls then i feel like there would be more backlash #im a big fan of gender equality as long as it goes both ways #men's bodies should be respected too #but that's my own side rant #hi chris how ya doin #here's your sign that you're more than fine as you are <3 #and that stay cares more about you than your body even if there's -1000% reason to be concerned about that either #stray kids #skz #skz stay #skz showterview #hwang hyunjin #skz memes #my memes

[guzmapkmn-archive]

GUESS WHATS HERE!!!

#cat.face #the material is different than i expected but thats fine its still comfy :3 #i was worried itd be too big but its perfect #just big enough that i can imagine i stole it >:3

[ihatebnha]

While I also agree that bakugo adopts an orange cat, I also love entertaining the idea of bakugo having a big, fluffy white coated cat like this one

He calls her princess (even tho YOU'RE princess 😒), spoils the hell outta her, damn near treats her like she is his daughter (like scaring off the male cats that crosses your yard occasionally 😐). He always makes sure her coat remains white by brushing her everyday but also gets upset when he finds shedded hair everywhere and feeds her a nice healthy diet but sometimes slips her some food from his plate like she's a DOG. He can't walk two steps because she's swirling in-between his legs. But the kicker is that she doesn't like you, always swatting her paws at you when you pet her coat. Bakugo says it's because she's jealous and you're like "what is she jealous for??" while he's striving from the attention 😑

(orange cat reference here!)

as;dlfjkasd now we're getting into REAL cat lover bakugo hours... why is this so darn TRUE!!!

He literally swears up and down, left and right, that he doesn't spoil her AND YET, every single second not spent at work or with you is taken up with her. brushing her fur, making her little meals, sitting on the bed together... he probably even gets a little miffed when you interrupt their time together because if something isn't right "she's gonna be upset..."

BAKUGO! that is a CAT!!!

He's lowkey right though because if she's not brushed, the fur problem just gets worse. if she's not fed w/ her special treat, she'll meow ALL NIGHT. It's honestly a good thing you like cats LOOOL even if he is wound right around her little paw w/ how they're always together. ALWAYS (her always being at his feet is taking me out. she definitely thinks he's her man aldfjasdkj)

It's funny though because as irritating as it can be, you can definitely tell they're meant for each other since theyre both such fussy babies. He treats her the way he wishes he could treat himself LOOOL

(and treats you, when he makes it up to you once she's locked out of the room adfkjalsd)

#bakugo #imgine shes a gift from someone when they find out he likes cats #LMFAO HE'S SO MAD AT FIRST #not that he doesnt want her but he's like 'I WOULDVE BEEN FINE WITH ANYTHING AND U GET ME THIS???' #this being a big huge cotton puff #he falls in love instantly tho he's putting the work in #once he's* #u catch them snuggling all the time even if he's grumpy abt it #and its takes a while but princess warms up to u eventually #at least lets u sit NEXT to her #LMFAO her name being princess... probably only happens bc he takes too long thinking of something and thats the nickname he was using #and it just stuck #fdsafjlkjhdj god!!!!!!!!! #this is definitely old OLD bakugo sh*t #you try to get mad at him but u cant be he just cares so much </3 #i want them both #ask #myherhoedream #also how r u bestie #caitie things #fave

[boomerang109]

one thing that sucks about theatre is that it literally is built around people coming to see it so no matter how good a production is, if there wasn’t good advertisement beforehand, it isn’t nearly as satisfying

#also it extra sucks that i had like 3-4 irls who said they were gonna come and they just didnt #and im not mad or anything. its spring break and also life happens and everything #but it just sucks to work so fucking hard on a production and barely have any audience #and even the audience thats here like. isnt people i know/care about #shout out to my one friend who DID come though and after giving me a tiny gift was like ‘okay i have to run my flight is like in four hours #I need to sleep’ THAT is more dedication than I would’ve given personally #but yeah to my irl who follows me if you see this I promise this isnt @ you #i just use tumblr like a diary #(but I gotta say I reaaaaally hope you don’t see this lmao) #but also i kept being like ‘okay i just need to hold out i KNOW this one specific irl is coming’ and they didnt :(( #and i cant even be upset cause theyre chronically ill and they were doing big things the rest of the weekend so I bet they were having #a flare today. AND they’re gonna take me to get blood drawn tmrw which is like. the biggest favor in the world #so like expecting them to come see a two and a half war play on top of that is excessive #but I just. I was really proud of this show and I am sad i didnt get to share it with any of my friends yknow? #(AND i wanted to be able to talk to people and then to the actors be like yeah this is my friend—- AND I COULDNT) #also my roommate literally told me last night she was coming and i don’t think she’s here #but im pretty sure she’s hungover so im not too surprised lmao #anywayyyy im just complaining its fine im excited to get HIGH and play viddy games tonight

[heartyearning]

handsewing button holes through 6 layers of fabric is an unfortunately huge pain in the ass and tragically i have to do 18 of them

#ive done 3 so far so 6th of the way thru 😔 its ok im being so brave about this #i dont mind THAT much bc i enjoy sewing button holes tbh its just a little Meh bc it takes so long & like #i dont want to waste so much time while other project remain so unfinished #plus theres one layer of fabric which is already a bitch to sew thru one or two layers which like. i chose this fabric knowingly #i just forgot that id have to do the button holes by hand #& its for a corset too so theres boning on both sides which means there isnt all that much manoeuvreability #but ! i finished the top edge w bias tape (which i made myself without a little tool and went way better than ive done before with tool) #& it looks decently sick so ! i am positive about this thing overall its just that i shouldnt have made 7 holes on both sides at the back #i was originally only gonna do 5/side but then i was just measuring a hole/3cm & didnt think about my original reasoning for doing 5 #& by the time i recalled how much work it'd be id already actually used a seam ripper to make the holes so i cant back out now #+ something rly rly bothersome is that my iron left a pretty big stain on the fabric (im still not sure how this stuff works #but i think my boning had some rust on it and thats what made the stain rather than the iron itself #i could be wrong tho) so i think im either gonna try to wash it out obv but if that doesnt work #i might do some embroidery which im not looking forward to #but unfortunately needs must and ive already cut a few corners & have some imperfections that i need leeway on #AND i dont want EVERY single project to be noticably halfassed at my jury so #i'll be fine btw im complaining but more so im just sorting thru my thoughts bc im quite pleased w how it looks #despite the imperfections #& ive overall just had a good day #tomorrow is reserved for studying art history bc i have that exam on wednesday & wednesday i wanna use whats left of the day #to work on my drape (possible some of that will happen tomorrow too) so i can get it mostly finished #& then i still have the option of showing my teacher on thursday if i feel the need to do so #& also i just need to get that done so i dont have to worry about it too much anymore #then we'll be taking pics on sunday probably #& then i have 2 more days to finish my portfolios and sort all of that out (and fuck i keep forgetting i have to upload everything online) #& then !! jury time !! & the day after we're gonna go to a theme park & then we just have until the 2nd week of feb #to relax and do sort of whatever we want #excited !!!

[be-good-to-bugs]

ok why am i SO tired what the fuck

#the bin #i went to sleep yesterday at 4pm and then woke up at midnight. was uo an hour n ate a snack. and then went back to bed till 12 #and then i went back to bed at 6pm. i got up at 10:40 and now its 2:30am and im SO tired #i cant sleep tho cause i gutta do laundry and then shower and then work. im only working a 4 1/2 hour shift tho #and then i have 3 days off. i can take big day long nap in that case. #i only even got up at 10:40 bc i wanted the kitty paws so i woke up specifically to boop. or else id of stayed in bed till now #cause i had an alarm to do laundry at 2am. hhhh. i wish i wasnt so sleepy. its so annoying. i oove sleepy but not when i have stuff to do #i guess it does make sense. i was SO behind on sleep for a week and then got even more behind bc of cleaning and stuff #but cant you just wait one more day? couldnt you do this tomorrow after im done working??? guess not. oh well. #im really upset i didnt get an answer from my mom yet. she said april 1st. she coulda at least texted me to say she doenst know yet #shes probs busy and forgot but. im so stressed abt this. if i dont fall asleep by the time shes done work tomorrow maybe i can call #hhh. i hate having this on my mind 100% of the time. its so stressful. my heart is constantly racing. my breathing is bad bc of it #having a constant anxiety attack sucks. maybe thats why im so tired too. i guess it is oretty exhausting. hhh. and its making me sad so #whatever. itll be fine. i do believe itll be good news. it HAS to be good news. i dont have mych basis for thinking itll be good news beside #asking some cards and like. i enjoy cartomancy but i dont put that much weight on it. but its all i have. it WILL be good news

[frankensteindotpdf]

between now and april ive gotta find a really nice quality solid [metal] hoop earring

#i speak #silver or titanium #smth that wont be an Issue with my allergies #that i can just put in there and leave forever #that was my end goal with the piercing #hyped to see its not that far away #im gonna be really particular about it though (as i should be) #i want it to be a nice size where it sits well and isnt too big to where the end of my glasses can fit through it dsfghddksg #not sure if i should go back to the piercer i got it done at because 1. im not thrilled about their hygiene (or lack thereof) #and 2. its also far i can probably find a place near me #also 3. i dont know if i'll need a piercer to change it out for me i think ill probably be able to do it myself #especially since im aiming to overshoot the amount of time itll take to heal up enough to switch it out #so im probably fine to just find the hoop where/whenever and do it myself #and ill probably be less anxious about it too #i have had trouble with getting hoops to close tho. and thats just in my lobes. so. #who knows. ive got a month to think about it. #(obvs i could just wait longer but the bar is sooo long and i know its for swelling reasons but it bumps on my glasses) #so. ideally i switch it out for the hoop asap while also accommodating my totally reasonable levels of concerns about healing #anyway tumblr is my diary

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - social media au (pt. 2)

note: yes there’s the main work chat w carmy, the secret coworker chat w/o carmy, and the secret secret bestie chat w syd, marcus, and yourself. it would be canon.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes

part one

liked by carmyberzatto, marcus.brooks11 and 40 others

chefboyardee: life lately

see all 9 comments

syd_adamu: that pho was life changing

↳ chefboyardee: i think it was the best i’ve ever had

marcus.brooks11: feet off the table @syd_adamu

↳ chefboyardee: leave my girl alone

↳ richietheking: I knew you guys were lez

↳ syd_adamu: we aren’t and you can’t say that

↳ chefboyardee: oh.. we aren’t? ☹️😔

↳ syd_adamu: 😑

carmyberzatto: 🍲🔥

THE GOLDEN TRIO

[ 7:45 AM ]

y/n: did you see

did you see

did

you

see

ogmgokggkowkfofsk

syd: pardon??

what did richie do oh my god

did he post another picture of him with the gun from that one day

fuckkkk carmys gonna be so mad

marcus: nope i wish

y/n: he commented on my post 😭😭😭😭

syd: who

marcus: think about it

who else would cause this reaction

y/n: carmy!!!!!!!

i woke up to him commenting 🍲🔥 😍😍😍😍

syd: woah and the heart eyes?

y/n: no that’s my addition

syd: the bar is in hell

HES YOUR BOSS

y/n: AND I WANT HIS BABIES??

marcus: y’all so hype to be pregnant THEN BOOOMMM ‼️ THE BABY’S UGLY AND BALD WITH ECZEMA 😩🤨

syd: LMFAOOOOO WHOS YALL THO????

y/n: bye im done

im leaving for work.

don’t talk to me ever again

done.

marcus: bye 👋

why do you leave so early fool

syd: so she can be teachers pet

marcus: smh always there before everyone

y/n: not true.

syd: i thought you weren’t talking to us

y/n: 😒

marcus: want me to bring y’all an iced latte again

y/n: …. 😁

WORK

[ 8:15 AM ]

y/n: AYOOOO

great job cleaning up after work yesterday 😊👍

richie: Is this a joke?

y/n: why would i joke about such a thing

carmy: Y/n what are you doing

y/n: u said to tell everyone their housekeeping is shitty

carmy: No I said I was going to tell them that, and you said no I’ll do it

This is not what I meant

y/n: well you yell too much

marcus: ouch

that’s my station 😔

carmy: Well clean it better

y/n: im using reverse psychology and positive reinforcement

carmy: Not what that means

y/n: well notice how no one’s mad at me

im making alliances day by day

richie: You’ve worked here for two years and we are already friends

y/n: so you’re saying you aren’t my ally

richie: No

We are definitley in an alliance

y/n: love u richie

richie: Don’t go that far

chefboyardee’s instagram stories

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 3:25 PM ]

y/n:

he so fine im bouta cermmmmm

syd: …..

marcus: :O

y/n: why are you acting shocked

like i haven’t said this daily

tina: Woah girl who?

y/n: HUH

richie: I’m not in the picture I don’t get it

syd: let’s just keep working before carmy notices

tina: I don’t care I’m on smoke break. Who are you talking about girl? Spill the tea..

marcus: she was talking about me you guys

y/n: the guy in the back

oh i mean yeah marcus

tina: The meat delivery guy? He has a wife..

y/n: we are having an affair

marcus: no it’s about me

richie: I didn’t know Marcus and Y/n were a thing..

tina: Something ain’t right. No way they are.

marcus: we aren’t it’s just our sense of humor

y/n: i was just being funny!

tina: What did Jeff just yell inside?

syd: came out of the office and said “just cuz we’re slow doesn’t mean you can play on your phones” 👍💯

tina: Whatever. No chance Y/n meant Marcus. You got the hots for Jeffrey?

y/n: what no

tina: Well I wouldn’t blame you. He’s cute

y/n: OMG RIGHTTTTTTT

its the tattoos isn’t it

richie: You have to be fucking joking

tina: I was playing..

y/n: im confused

syd: that was cruel

marcus: who cares it’s not a big deal

y/n: so you don’t think he’s cute tina?? ☹️☹️

tina: No he is cute… for you 😝

y/n: this is humiliating

richie: I’ll tell him

y/n: NO

stop

sSTOP THATS NOT FUNNY

richie im not joking i’ll put a bomb in your floorboards

richie: I’m just fucking with you kid

tina: This isn’t over.

THE GOLDEN TRIO:

[ 3:40 PM ]

syd: y/n….

marcus: you look like a ghost y/n

y/n: i cannot believe i sent that to the wrong gc

i’m done im so done

marcus: stop looking so sad it’s making me feel bad

syd: it’s okay! just be thankful it wasn’t to the work groupchat with him in it..

marcus: true it could be worse

y/n: i guess so

thank you for trying to cover for me marcus

marcus: anytime you know i got you

syd: let’s get back to work before we start looking obvious

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear #the bear imagine #carmy berzatto imagine #x reader #carmen berzatto imagine #sydney adamu #sydney adamu x reader #richie jerimovich #richie jerimovich x reader #the bear reader insert #the bear text au #carmy berzatto text au #crack #fluff #social media au #text au

[soggyriceee]

I don’t know if you did this yet but can you do when Konig give the reader aphrodisiac and see what it ends up fem reader please and thank you I been reading your page all day!<3❤️🫶🏽

take a bite | Konig

warnings: strong language, oral (f and m!recieving), unprotected p in v. desperate Konig

summary: request

"I do not like chocolate, maus." he scoffed, ignoring your hand reaching for him to take the chocolate piece.

you pouted, sitting back on the couch. your friends had brought up this special sex chocolate at a lunch you all had together. it intrigued you. not because the sex was bad. it was amazing. but your already amazing sex would turn into even better sex. and who doesn't want that?

"please. just a piece and thats it. I bought it special for us." you begged, waving it in his face. he looked away from the YouTube shorts on his phone and into your eyes. " maus. are you trying to give me an edible right now?" he asked bluntly, placing his phone down on the couch.

laughing, you shook your head. "no no I swear. I wouldn't just drug you jeez. but its special important chocolate. from my friends home country. she shipped some out and I wanna try it with you." you lied, fluttering your lashes.

for a moment he was silent, looking at the chocolate and then you. "if you drug me im calling the cops. seriously." he said, taking the chocolate out of your hand. "okay but dont take such a big- okay." before you could finish the sentence, Konig managed to snap a pretty decent sized chuck off and pop it in his mouth. you were sure that he wasn't supposed to take that big a piece. but, you wanted to see how this would play out.

"its okay.. tastes like regular chocolate. nothing is special about this." he shrugged, handing you back the chocolate bar. you're too stunned to really say anything, so mindlessly you watched him digest the entire thing and go back to his phone. "aftertaste is kinda gross." he randomly commented.

it was silent for about 10 minuets, Konig giggling at a video every now and then. you began to think it wasn't going to really work and of course, you got a bit sad and annoyed. just as you were about to give up, Konig put his phone down, adjusting his pants. " its.. hot." he said, looking over to you. you relaxed in the couch, nodding. "I-i'm fine... not too hot." you said.

his eyes scanned your body, stopping at your breasts. "you sure? you have a hoodie on.." he said, eyes moving back up to yours. okay, it was definitely working now. you blushed slightly, shifting on the couch. "I know but.. im just a bit cold." you said, looking away from his eyes.

immediately his boner caught your eye, it was practically standing straight up in his sweats. you didnt miss the wet spot where his tip, his pre cum leaking through his pants. "want me to warm you up?" he breathed out. his body moved closer to you, eyes still staring into yours. you swallowed, watching how he got closer. before you knew it, you were being pulled onto his lap.

he groaned, pressing himself onto your clothes cunt. "what did you do to me maus.." he breathed out, his hands already moving for the inside of your shorts. giggling, you pushed his hand away. " I didnt do anything.. im too tired anyways. can you wait for me to wake up from my nap?" you smiled, moving to get off his hips.

but he pulled you back, hand gripping your chin. " dont play with me right now.. you did something to me huh? tell me.” he demanded, taking his other hand down his pants, pulling his member out. his tip was a bright red, pre cum leaking out. he was throbbing. painfully.

you couldn’t help the small whimper that came from you, your eyes moving back up to his. “if you wanted me to fuck you, all you had to do was ask.” he mumbled, his hands now moving up your sweater. he immediately felt your lack of a bra, chuckling to himself. his fingered rolled your already hard nipples between his fingers, pinching and pulling the sensitive nubs gently.

“i-i didn’t think.. it was a-“ you were cut off by your own whimper when Konig slapped your nipple, a painfully good feeling. “don’t like to me libe.. i know you wanted this to happen. wanted me to get all worked up to the point I grow desperate for you, hmm?” he said softly, going back to playing with your nipples.

as much as you loved this, you needed more. you began to move your hips against his thigh, whimpering at the friction in your clit while his fingers kept playing with your nipples. and despite you thinking he’d stop you, hold your hips down, he began to bounce his leg instead.

“come on rub that pussy on me.” he whispered, pulling your hoodie up and off you. your hard nipples found their way into his warm mouth, his tongue tracing the shape of them. his teeth pulled them gently, only making your moans louder for him. your hands found his shoulders as you picked up the pace of your hips, your head falling back.

Konig kept bouncing his leg, praising you and telling you how beautiful you looked riding his thigh, occasionally grinding his hard on. “K-Konig i’m so close.” yoh whimpered, holding the back of his head while his mouth sucked on your nipples. He didn’t expect it, neither did you. but with those words, your nipple in his mouth and your pretty whimpers, Konig felt himself cum right then and there. it was new to him, cumming without being touched. he’s done it in wet dreams, woken up with his dick wet with his own cum. but never while he was awake had he done this.

it was that stupid chocolate. well, he couldn’t say stupid. he actually liked being this horny. “f-fuck.. please live cum on my thigh. want your cum stained on my pants please.” he begged, his hands finding your hips to move them faster, his leg bouncing to meet the pace.

your eyes saw the cum on the bottom of his shirt, his tip still leaking his cum. it was that sight alone that made your orgasm hit you, your body shaking on his. your head fell into his neck, crying out his name as he continued the abuse on your sensitive clit. “K-Konig please~” you cried out, trying to stop him from moving you. but he couldn’t.

his breathing was rapid, eyes on your face twisting with pleasure and pain. “one more libe.. please” he begged, picking up the pace of you hips. your hands found his chest, gripping his shirt as your second orgasm worked it’s way through your shuddering body. your head fell into his neck, eyes squeezed shut. it was embarrassing how fast your second orgasm came, honestly. but with his desperation it was like you ate a piece yourself.

you had barely any time to get over your orgasm before you were being shoved to the floor. “open.” was all he said before dipping his fingers in your mouth, pulling your jaw open. his dripping dick slid right in your mouth, his tip down your throat. you gagged at the sudden feeling, loosing your balance on the floor. groaning, his hand found your shoulder, pulling you to sit upright. his hips didn’t wait to move back and forth in your mouth, your saliva coating his member.

his head tilted back, mouth opening. “mhm.. fuck libe your mouth is so.. so warm.” he moaned, his other hand finding the back of your head. this allowed him to move his hips faster, your hands finding his knees to keep your balance. your watery eyes looked up to look at his pleasured face, realizing the chocolate made any touch to him sensitive.

you took that opportunity to take one hand up to his balls, massaging them. he hissed, body leaning forward. “g-god.. keep doing that.” he moaned, moving your head back and forth faster, his body hunched over you.

pre cum leaked out his tip, the salty taste coating your tongue. drool coated his length and balls, your hand as well. it was all too much for him and no matter how hard he tried to hold it back, he couldn’t stop his warm load coating your throat. he gave you no verbal warning either, his whimpers enough of a warning for you.

his toes curled beside you, pulling the carpet while his hands pressed you down on his length. “f-fuck..” he breathed out, his back slightly arching up as he shot the rest of his cum into your mouth. looking up at him, you slowly moved your head back and forth, hands gently palming his balls.

never had Konig really came that fast from head. he was very good at holding out, it was something you really liked about him. it allowed for you to finish before he did. but the chocolate was no help in his usual routine, the realization of that hitting him.

his eyes looked down at you, mouth stuffed with him. “i.. hate you and that stupid.. stupid chocolate.” he muttered, sliding himself out your mouth. and to his own surprise, he was semi hard. the sight of your saliva and his cum on his length made him grow harder, your eyes watching as his member lifted in your face.

smirking, you gripped the base of him, slapping it on your face. he groaned, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. “fuck.. come on libe don’t do that.” he whined, pulling your arm. he needed to be inside you. now. and your teasing made it incredibly hard for him to not shove you on the floor and pound into you.

you smiled up at him, pulling away from him. before you could even process what you wanted to say, you were being lifted onto the couch, stomach pressed flat on the back of the couch, knees spread on the cushions. his hand pressed on your back, pressing you into the couch more. behind you, he positioned his tip at your sloppy hole, rubbing it up and down.

“wanted to see how i’d be with the chocolate hm? didn’t think i fucked you well enough, hm?” he muttered, leaning down to your ear. his tongue slid down your neck, his lips sucking in your skin. you whimpered at the feeling, your eyes squeezing shut. “could handle what i gave you?” he teased, pressing his tip alone into you.

your hips tried to push back, take him all in. but his hips were much faster, pulling away from you. “no no no.. you don’t get to be desperate libe.. your going to be patient tonight. only fair for making me so desperate, hm?” he cooed, rubbing the curve of your ass.

despite how hot this was, Konig being desperate for you and all, it was quickly becoming into a bad thing. it was like all the sexual needs that Konig had, the desperation was all being transferred over to you. and that chocolate wasn’t worn off. not even close. his member pulsed as it rested against your ass, his hands trailing up and down your body. he was doing it on purpose. but as much as he wanted to tease you, he couldn’t wait too long before he was inside you.

your body jerked against the back of the couch, a silent scream coming from you as he shoved all of himself inside you. a breathy whimper came from the tall man behind you, his fingers pressing into your hips. your hands found the back of the couch, clutching onto it desperately. he didn’t waste any time sliding in and out of your cunt, and he was groaning with every thrust.

his hands found the bottom of your back, pushing it down. and as much as that angle did hurt in a way, you couldn’t help but whimper as he pounded into you. “f-fuck libe your so wet.” he whimpered, his head tilting back.

you managed to slam your hips back onto him, matching his pace. but unfortunately for you, that only made him move his hips quicker, not allowing you to keep up with him. “come on maus.. bounce back on me i know you can d..do it.” he teases, gripping a chunk of your ass in his palms.

he dragged your back and forth on his cock, his eyes rolling back. his balls slapped loudly against your clit, adding only more pleasure to you. “o-oh Koni~” you cried out, struggling to keep your own balance. his hand founds it’s way between your thighs, fingers dancing with your clit. “so s-swollen hm.. needed to be fucked so bad didn’t you?” he groaned, picking up his pace.

Konig felt himself twitch inside you once, then twice before he came for the third time that night. his legs shook, hands gripping onto your hips instead now to keep himself up. he hated how quickly this chocolate was making him come. a lot. but he loved how good it felt even more than he hated it. and you did too.

he slid out, watching his cum drop down your pussy to the couch below. he sat beside you, pulling you onto his lap. “ride me.” he demanded, positioning you above his still hard cock, pushing you down and giving you no time to prepare. your head fell into the crook of his neck as his hands worked your hips up and down his shaft.

“fuck that’s it.. take it.. oh take it libe.” he groaned, thrusting himself up into you, matching the pace he set for you. despite you being on top , you rarely ever did any actual work. Konig was always persistent on doing a lot of the work. it was the rare occasion you’d be the one taking control. and in those moments you did like it of course. but you liked being taken care of/used relentlessly even more.

“s-so good Koni.. i’m getting close.” yoh whimpered out, starting to move your hips for yourself now instead. he grunted in your ear, his right hand dinging it’s way to the nape of your neck, tugging the hair. “do it then.. cum on my cock.” he moaned, “i know you can do it.”

those words of encouragement were truly all you needed before you were creaming on him, clutching onto him while pathetic cries left your wet lips. but he didn’t stop. no. why would he? his hips continued to drill into you from beneath you, his eyes never leaving your face as it twisted into overstimulation. you were shocked by how much he was still going. how he still had so much momentum. but you weren’t complaining in the slightest.

“one more.. need one more.” he moaned, slowing his pace until he was stopped, sliding out and laying you on your back. “wanna see your face from here when you cum for me again.” he whispered.

at this point your legs were pure jello. Konigs too. you both only had this many rounds when either of you were gone for work for a while. but you went complaining of course. this IS what you wanted. and you were more than satisfied with the outcome.

his pace was anything but slow, his tip hitting right at your womb. tears couldn’t help but pool in your eyes, the pleasure becoming far too much to take. “k-koni it’s too.. too much.” you whined, your nails digging into his shoulders. he grunted above you, panting as his thrusts became deeper and faster. “take it, fucking.. take it.” he groaned, dipping his head into your neck, biting the skin.

you whimpered at the mixed feeling of pleasure and pain, your nails dragging down his back. “mhm.. mark me up libe.. fucking mark me.” he moaned, pulling away from you to look at the dark purple mark left on your skin. his hands took your thighs, pulling you closer to him and propping them on his shoulders. of course, this position allowed him to get deeper inside you, making your cries louder.

your pussy pulsed around him, his dick twitching inside you. his hands gripped your hips, moving faster in and out your dripping cunt. “so.. close. i cant.” yoh cried out, trying to take your legs from his shoulders. but as soon as you did so he pushed deep inside you, your body jerking up. another cry came from you, your legs shaking painfully.

“you can do it libe.. j-just come with me.” he moaned, his breathing picking up. he wasn’t gonna be able to hold it. not with how wet and tight you were around him. and it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. not in your eyes.

his hand found your clit, fingers rubbing on the swollen wet bundle of nerves with pure desperation. he needed one more time to feel you cum around him, then he’d be satisfied for the night. “i know you can do it just c-cum for me.” he said, looking down into your eyes.

you both held eye contact, watching each others orgasms build up. it was truly one of the more romantic things you and Konig did during sex. and you both ate it up every time. and it was always one of the many things that got you to finish around him.

before you could even get the words out, you felt your legs go numb and your vision go out as your cum shot out all over his dick and lower abdomen, tears falling from your face. “that’s it just like that.. such a g-good.. fucking.. girl.” he moaned, each word accompanied with a powerful thrust. you felt him twitch inside you moments before his hot cum shot inside you, his body shaking before collapsing on you.

you both didn’t know exactly how, or when it happened. but you woke up hours later in bed, Konigs arms wrapped tightly around you. you were assuming he had woken up and moved you both to the room, passing out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

you never left the bed that night. only staying on your phone, listening to his calm breathing and occasionally German mumbling.

#cod #call of duty fan fiction #call of duty x reader #cod x reader #konig #konig fanfiction #konig smut #konig x reader

[alexisomnias]

WHEN YOUR GONE. . . | obey me

obey me nightbringer spoilers

characters | BROTHERS

they return home, a sunken feeling moving along with them as their home feels much more empty. Despite the attendant never living with them, it feels as if a room lost its shine that kept the home lifted. they go to the bedroom to mourn for the loss of a friend who they've known for no longer then a week (yet it feels like years).

LUCIFER "Hopefully you found me helpful from time to time? Don't push yourself too hard "big brother."

lucifer finds himself staring at your writing, it was clearly handled with care, perhaps even written with a shaky hand. he finds himself doing nothing other then staring, he can't even reread it as if his throat was choked up for good. lucifer, who thought your position as attendant was nothing other then stupid found his heart slow to if he didn't know better would be a stop. he did... he did find you helpful... his eyes close as he leans his head back and takes a deep breath, as if to stop tears.

why must you of done this too him? why couldn't you just leave with a goodbye that he would forget come hundreds year?

MAMMON "Thank you for always thinking of me. I always had fun when we were together."

mammon prided himself in his ability to hold his emotions, but after his eyes came across the last letter, reading each syllable as if it was his first time he lets out a sob. clutching the letter in his hand as if all of you would disappear if he ever let it go. you were cruel, he thinks, so cruel for leaving him alone like this. he sobs quietly leant over the desk as he sobs into his arms, why did he always get attached to things that would soon leave him? you don't realize, that even after your gone. your memories, even the happiest ones will leave him thinking of you as left pain.

his heart aches for you already, he wants to continue to be together, he wants you back.

LEVIATHAN "Make sure to take good care of Snake, okay? I know you'll make an amazing demon !!"

it took a lot for leviathan to even build up the courage to exit the comfort of his own room. without you there by his side, what will be there to help him navigate around? you've been barely gone for 3 days and yet it feels as if you've been missing from his side for centuries. curse him for getting attached, curse the universe for making you the friend that leaves for his own character development. he sniffles, rereading the text over and over. he let out an ugly cry, uncaring for if the world outside saw it.

how could he be the amazing demon you claim him to be, without you by his side to reassure?

SATAN "Someday we should both go bookstore hopping! You're fine just the way you are Satan."

he doesn't know why you left, but dear lord is he so angry. at the world, at his brothers for allowing you to leave, at himself for not being there to tell you he needs you. satan doesn't cry, satan doesn't even rage out in anger as he reads your letter. he stares, and he stares until a figurative hole could be burnt through the crisp paper left in your place. the only memory left of you for you weren't there for long. why couldn't he be there to see you leave? send you off? why was he the one stuck under the impression you would come back for him, until you didn't?

did you even realize that you were the reason he felt like he belonged in this world?

ASMODEUS "Looking forward to the next Asmo Night! I love you! more then words can say!

asmo loves you more then words exist, thats why he needs you by his side, thats why he needs you there to remind him of why he's deserving, of why he deserves to be happy like the others. asmo needs you more then words can say, he lets out a quiet cry, almost silent as tears drip down his porcelain face. clutching his own note close to his body. why did you have to leave so early? why did you have to leave him so abruptly after carving your place in his heart?

he trusts in the fact that you will return, maybe its denial, or trust, but he believes you'll be back for him.

BEELZEBUB "Be careful not to eat too much! Keep your brothers safe, okay?"

beelzebub did not cry, but he did mourn. how could he always lose those he grows to care for? all in such a short time? he swears he would starve if it meant you'd come back, he'd never complain about hunger again if you'd be back to tell him off, back to make him breakfast out of food he's unfamiliar with. he clutches the note strong enough that if he tried it would rip, but he'd never destroy a memory of you.

beel wants to keep his family safe, but as their attendant, that includes you, he wants you safe as well.

BELPHEGOR "Someday I'll buy you the ultimate alarm clock. I adore that happy look you have while asleep."

Belphegor was the last of the brothers to visit your room, as if he contemplated for days of whether it would be a good idea. belphie despised humans, and you being a human would of included that, wouldn't it? but yet, he can't find himself to hate you. you helped him, helped beel instead of hurt. all the other notes were gone, so the sole one laid upon your empty desk. he stared down on it, in a slow process, his stone face crumpled, melted into tears as it dripped onto he page. his hands clenched up as he cried. falling to his knees as he allowed himself to sob against the desk. your letter lying dead in front of him.

did he really need an alarm clock when his attendant was there to wish him a good morning?

#obey me nightbringer #obey me x reader #obey me shall we date #obey me #angst #obey me angst #obey me nightbringer spoilers #suns pencil.

[tojisun]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0c8qJLp7Wd/?igshid=ODhhZWM5NmIwOQ==

This reminded me of biker!simon 😭❤️

DOESNT EVEN HAVE TO BE BIKER!SIMON BECAUSE THATS JUST SIMON FOR SURE <3 (dying at the idea that this is bimbo!reader making a tiktok video with simmy <33)

im droooolin thinking about simon doing this omg :((

“baby?” you ask, walking up to him. your phone’s already filming—just your camera app, to ensure that it doesn’t shut close on you—and you smile when simon instantly stops what he’s doing to turn his full attention to you.

“yeah?”

“you think you can bench me?”

simon blinks, the question taking him by surprise. then, with not a single hesitation, he says, “of course.” he reaches his hand out to hold yours, and tugs you to his lap. you clamber with ease, giggling at the ticklish feeling of his other hand holding you by your waist. “why? you want us to try?”

you hum, hooking your chin on his shoulder. “yes, please.”

simon rubs his palm all over your back, gently easing you into a sleepy sigh. “this for your lil tiktok?”

“mhm. s’that fine?”

“of course.” you feel him kiss the top of your head. “sounds fun.”

it takes a while before you two are able to sort out the logistics—his confused, “where exactly do i hold on?” receiving a confident, “well. here and here!”—before you two are finally in position.

“c’mere, darlin’,” he says and you round to his side, beaming down at him as he beckons you by lifting his arms up.

before you can give much thought to the sudden self-consciousness that’s clawing its way into your chest, simon’s already folding his arms down towards himself before pumping them up, lifting all that you are in the air.

you squeal, still taken by surprise, but the sound is devoured by simon’s laugh as he continues to lift you up and tug you down—consistent with the pace, his breath stable and not bearing any sign of being winded, and his arms flexing naturally instead of straining.

you’re not even any slimmer or petite, but there your big, muscular, and god of a man is, benching you with ease.

“oh my god!” you giggle, giddiness returning. “this is so-o cool, si!”

“yeah?” he says from underneath you, grinning so boyishly, it makes him look so much younger. “s’good to hear, baby. because this is fun f’r me too.”

“really?” you murmur, cheeks filling with warmth as the anxiousness returns.

“really,” simon replies, resolute. “i promise.”

he pumps his arms a few more times before finally resting them, with you collapsing on his chest in a heap of laughter. simon gathers you in his arms—thick and robust—and peppers kisses all over your face, making you laugh even harder.

(you edit the video and post bits and pieces—from the way simon tugged you to his lap and later when he bench-pressed you. it was only supposed to gain the traction of your followers, but it had blown up, racking hundreds of thousands of likes and views.

you even receive a, “??????” private message from johnny who sent you back your own post.)

#anon #ask #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #me when i see a silly video: OH BUT IMAGINE-

[drchucktingle]

Hi Chuck, no pressure to answer this. <3 I watched a lovely review of Camp Damascus and, like me, the lady gave it 5 stars and loved it. But she mistakenly called it Satire and believes it to be very much a Satire. I want to explain to her how something doesn't have to be serious to not be satire, and that our trot's a good trot, and that her way of loving the book is good but could be hurtful to people who see it as a reflection of our own lives, and you too. do you have any advice on how to talk to her? you have such compassion for others that I want to walk in your footsteps.

dang first of all THANK YOU for seeking this way of standing up for what you believe. i appreciate your passion for chuck and for the tingleverse and this ART. you are very kind buckaroo

personally i think you do not need to say anything because i am not sure whether camp damascus IS satire or not. it was not really written that way but maybe. this review might be correct actually, because even though i wrote the book i am not the TOP AUTHORITY on what it is. your take is just as valid as mine and so is hers and i suppose i can see why a buckaroo would think it has a satire way. satire is not diametrically opposed to sincerity. you CAN make sincere satire.

so even though in broad sense i do not see my work as satire (although by definition there are satire moments) i can see why buckaroos could feel that way. there is a FEELING TONE about what i do that seems like satire even if i do not understand why. GET OUT is maybe similar to CAMP DAMASCUS in this way and is huge influence on the book and the tone. feels like calling 'get out' OR 'camp damascus' satire is almost too simplistic, but i will admit there is SOMETHING there at least satire adjacent.

all this is to say that genre is COMPLICATED, and so is art. the buckaroo reviewer is not wrong or right about this issue, and neither are you, and neither am i. thats the BEAUTY in art. i just wrote about how buds do not take me seriously sometimes or think my erotica is not 'real" art, but for as much as this happens and as much as i talk on it, it DOES NOT bother me in any real sense. my feelings on buds not taking me seriously just kind of ARE, and THAT IS FINE, because art deserves many different interpretations. all are valid. so instead of feeling the need to correct her i would say change that to perspective of awe and wonder over someone seeing this art and arriving at this other take.

its VERY exciting to see art unfold before our very eyes buckaroo, thank you for being a part of it. im also thankful for the reviewers, good or bad, right or wrong, theyre just as important as i am. its all just part of the big wonderful piece swirling all around us

#love is real #art #chuck tingle #camp damascus