#ive been feeling so off lately

[coolnonsenseworld]

Consoling cinnamon roll 🥐

Shop, Patreon, Commissions: linktr.ee/mezzy

#klance #voltron legendary defender #klance fanart #lance mcclain #voltron #keith kogane #laith #ive been feeling so off lately #might be just burn out like you are working and creating trying to put out so much but it's never enough? #my regular inner call to fall off the side of the universe is back #ill catch up tho #at least it motivated me to finish this sketch from 2022 #have an awesome week tumblrs

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!' #hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭 #okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends' #then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it #and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago #bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o) #well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall #im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot #i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing???? #i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T #because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks #at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better #its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh #in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats #mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year #i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o) #THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o( #yapping #my art #myart #doodles #personal #diary

[mushroom-winners-proof]

terra lover syndrome is CRITICAL and i cannot recover and i do not want to

#kh #kingdom hearts #kh bbs #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #terra #snap sketches #speaking of bbs btw lmao #idk i just felt compelled to draw him #my style's been mixed up lately and i wanted to see how i'd go bout drawin him #he dont look TERRIBLE but it aint right to me #ill still post tho cause terra content #plus i like showin off my 'notes' #i feel like ive made him too pretty #and while i think terra is pretty there's a sort of balance to him- he's like in-between handsome and pretty #dont ask me how there's a difference there just is but regardless i feel as tho ive made him too pretty #so ill make a mental note of that for next time

[extremelyputridfishbreath]

so like. im not gonna beat around the bush- ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS. ARE WE??

*SLAMS THIS ON THE TABLE*

I AM CONVINCED THIS MAN DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING! THINK ABOUT IT:

The hover discs Aunt Arctic mentions automatically despawn after you use them to place the detectors/transmitters in both episodes they appear in. With the knowledge that Gary does not test his inventions often, to the point where Aunt Arctic feels the need to warn you...is that intentional feature(keep in mind you use them to access higher up areas like the ceiling of the Sea Caves)...or a bug because he did not test them? Keep in mind the discs disappear near-immediately once you're done placing objects, so you CAN end up free-falling to the ground afterwards from several feet above in the air.

Knowing this, what else is this man hiding? Sure, we know that the Auto-Warbler 3000 works...but is that because this is an invention he personally tested, or in spite of being untested? Did the Jet Tube's avoidance systems have glitches because of an unforeseen bug Gary happened to run into...or is this something he made, gave to Rookie and didn't test for whatever reason?

Keeping this tidbit in mind, is Gary knocking down Herbert's defenses because he is SO smart, or did he just get lucky? Is he better at programming than making inventions? Or does he actually test his coding skills more than his inventions? If so, why?

IF this 'brilliant penguin' was intended to be Gary (which I'm fairly certain it is but hey, CPI closed down before it's time so who knows for sure?)

Is the reason the Party Sub ended up sitting in the Sea Caves related to his tendency to not regularly test his inventions? Or was it simply because it broke while he was testing it?

Because he does not test things as rigorously as his Club Penguin counterpart (who, as we know makes up to 3000 versions of his inventions before they are considered done, and asides from some examples like Mascbot's being used at their 'near-perfect' 2999th iteration or prototypes like the Electromagnet 1000 are rarely used until then)... does Club Penguin Island Gary name his inventions with the '3000' at the end because they have been tested, or for aesthetic reasons?

#club penguin island #club penguin #gary the gadget guy #as an aside: im thinking of cpi more since i picked it back up and played through most of the adventures again #considering changing gin to an /amur/ leopard for cpi because it feels like a change that would've been made tbh #although sonata would still be an arctic fox...just drawn with a summer coat instead. i dont think id change penelope into a different #owl though...maybe? idk depends if i see any compelling swaps for her cpi counterpart #real talk i cannot believe people were dragging gary prime (as in original game gary) for the test sled when it's informed consent that #you're using a prototype when this motherfucker (affectionate) IS LETTING YOU RUN AROUND WITH INVENTIONS OF DUBIOUS QUALITY #i say this as someone with adhd when i say this man has adhd <3 working on so many projects and so many dont get finished #although tbf to ME <3 at least ive been chipping away at my lore documents lately. i mean i still struggle but yk #and yk be slacking off writing down stuff so i dont forgor isnt like. me handing out inventions that probably arent safe like candy <3 #i could be writing down important stuff right now :') oh well * points and laugh at cpi!gary * THIS MAN IS A POSER

[klonoadoortophantomile]

okay fuck it actually heres a drawing from the other day

#probably all ill post maybe idk im not sure tbh……. #scribbles #klonoa #popka #uhh nothing much to say abt this tbh thats why im posting it XD so uh heres some rambling ig #i feel like ive been drawing a lot more oc stuff lately which is cool ig cuz i barely ever draw original stuff #but at the same time it Sucks cuz like. idk theyre some newer ocs i kinda feel weird abt sharing for some reason #like idk i feel like theyre lame 😔 plus im still figuring out a lot of stuff for them so idk maybe thats part of it #uhhh also uh i feel like ive been getting like? actually really fucking good st art ? and like i feel like this every #few months (which is a good thing it means im improving / enjoying how my art looks) but like.. idk it judt feels more legit this time like #idk idk it doesnt really make sense but im having fun with art and thats good #i drew like. seven full drawings yeaterday for artfight im still like . stunned by how i managed to pull that off without having #drawings i ended up hating . like even with some that were an absolute pain in the ass to draw they turned out so cooollllll #okay ill stop rambling now idk what im trying to say

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

me thinking about the moment in the movie where leo is fighting krangified raph and he is feeling so much pressure and so much stress and guilt and he is so so scared for his family and for raph especially because he just wants to get raph out safely, he just wants his brother with him and their family unharmed and in one piece, but he can’t get through why won’t raph HEAR him why isn’t raph LISTENING he just wants to SAVE HIM why is he making things SO HARD--

and that is the moment where it finally fully clicks for leo, after all this, where raph was coming from at the start of the movie. that it wasn’t about being stubborn or wanting to call all the shots and be the boss, it wasn’t pettiness or raph being hard on them for no reason. it was always just raph wanting them to be safe, and getting scared and frustrated when doing that was difficult. or when, perhaps, certain stinker lil brothers seemed to be going out of their way to make it difficult.

like he really has that hard stop moment of realization while he’s looking directly at raph... at his own reflection u could say... love that

#rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rise raph #rise leo #rise of the tmnt #ive seen the interpretation that leo yelling about raph making things so hard is also him sharing his own POV about their dynamic lately? #and i dig that too! #another notch in the ways that honestly they are very similar in motivation tbh #the OH moment! #OH this is why it's been so tense OH this is why raph has been so hardline and irritated when i fly off solo #like after raph was captured leo spent a lot of time kinda bullheadedly larping what he thought raph would do? #bc leo was angry (bc leo was feeling guilty and absolutely terrified) #all the way up to the roof scene where he finally learned his listen to the team lesson (a lesson raph also had to learn in the series) #like it was such a genuine misunderstanding and miscommunication leo is over here doing his best raph but what he THOUGHT raph was doing #and like raph is a great leader while raph is leader! does very well learns and grows ive gone on about that before but #like for all their similarities they are still different people with different strengths so the double whammy of trying to do a raph AND #sincerely not GETTING where raph had been coming from #was a recipe for disaster #and like leo's leadership strengths come through more after the roof scene but this scene is about his relationship to raph #this little moment where he stops himself and has this what am i DOING moment has this no wait i finally GET IT moment #like that's just all i can see when i see that scene; the final breakthrough for leo that makes him able to reach for raph properly #bc he WAS just fighting him before that; and maybe in raphs zombie mind hell that carried over idk

[cranity]

finally uses my sketchbook after 4ever

#ive been craving traditional art like air lately but also i know that after not doing it for so long i’ll be not as good at it #so i’ve been in a limbo but i finally did it #was like ripping off a bandaid i can feel the floodgates opening again #my art #rob zombie #sketchbook

[ind1c0lite]

October 2004

(timelapse here!)

#ace attorney #franziska von karma #miles edgeworth #monika von karma #indys art #I dont think ive ever fully shown off monika so here she is! HGJKHGHJK #shes franziska's older sister! shes about 21 years old here! #franziska is 6 and miles is 12-13 #Ive been having MANY thoughts abt her as of late #been trying to get her whole story straight in my head #many a thought hrrrm..... #anyways enjoy this took me way too long HGJKHLJ #feel free to ask abt her if you wanna know more!! i think shes kinda fun aksbsmsb

[whmp]

whumper: im heading back home. you better not be a low-poly game asset for the sony playstation 1™ console.

whumpee: 😶

---

his name is cecil and he's not doing well. i had this neat idea yesterday: imagine a tamagotchi-like game, where you have to "take care" of a whumpee who lives inside your puter. will you traumatize them beyond all recovery or will you look after them? after all, they're just a replaceable heap of pixels, right? it's not like they have feelings.

#whump #whump art #whump oc #whump ideas #if you're reading the tags you're about to get some premium insider info #i've been obsessed with stupid game arg stuff lately. reliving my creepypasta phase and all that. #and just. imagine one of those haunted cartridges but the ghost in it is not malevolent. its scared and lonely and completely at your mercy #and the game invites the user to abuse the characters in it - you get some fake currency or points or whatever. #idk just some freaky paranormal shit that makes you feel bad for torturing a fake lil guy on your screen #ALTERNATIVELY just a sequel to the interactive buddy flash game where you beat the shit out of cecil and it's just that. simple as. #dusted off the ol' unity+blender+glsl combo for that one :) #ok ive rambled enough but it was so much fun to pose this poor dude id love to make a little game out of it

[moeblob]

Hello! I'm here with ~another~ text post!

I unfortunately had assumed "ah yes, The Anxiety" has been my problem recently but in fact, no. It was The Depression! (or a combo, super likely!) Due to this, I will be taking a brief mental break from posting art here. The break may be three days, might be a week. Truly a mystery even to me.

I will be drawing daily so when I return I should have multiple pictures to show off which I will separate in posts by fandom. Drawing really helps calm me down unless I get to the point where it feels like a performance obligation which it currently feels like.

I appreciate your patience and I hope to be okay enough to be back soon.

(also, my ask box on this blog has been disabled until I return)

#moe talks a lot #not art #i feel like a take like some random mental health week every year but hey it helps take pressure off #and if i dont have to worry about pleasing everyone then i start to doodle more - at least in the past #sorry for all my anxious tags yesterday i just kinda like uh #dont have the energy to do much except think so my thoughts kinda spiral outta control and zone in #on like one silly little topic and one silly little comment ive gotten in the past #and if you follow me on twitch and see me start streaming yeah thats to get a social aspect in shhh #i like streaming doodles and it really relaxes me which means i might stream a fair amount while i recover #tfw you try to treat Your Anxiety with medication and it doesnt really work bc its not anxiety issues #but its a med that makes you mellow so then your depressed and mellow yeah thats been me lately oops

[todayisafridaynight]

not to be deranged today but

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 3 #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza 3 #yakuza like a dragon #yoshitaka mine #daigo dojima #ryo aoki #snap sketches #im not going to even act like they have a proper ship name and i aint gonna think of one i aint drawin them ever again <-- probably lying #if i ever thought id draw a comic that had these three in it then like. idk i prob wouldve cried #anyways no this is my favorite crack pairing just cause its so goofy in theory #two emos get together until Probably Daigo breaks it off and now masato's Officially gone off the deep end thats it #eveyrones going under he's going to have the most petty ten-year plan imaginable #unfortunately it backfires so !!!! choke !!! #ive been feeling funnky bout my art lately so the fact ive managed to force this out is great. gg me we did something ig #something incredibly niche but SOMETHING ik i got the besties cackling at this so im happy

[elgatoarcoiris]

Ive said this alot on my instagram but like i genuinely am so excited to see the kotlc book 10 cover , something about jasons artstyle is so !!!!! HKSJSNM

I know the day it gets revealed im going to do 2 seperate analysis one for theories and one for just art . Like rendering and composition

I also really wanna see whos gonna be on it and the color scheme !!!!

I could talk about the kotlc covers for hours oh my god

#theyre all my favorites #the one ive been thinking alot about lately is the everblaze one its so pretty !!! its like different from the rest in terms of posing and #perspective #my least favorite is stellarlune though and thats saying that i do like it #its just like the least one i like #what i didnt like is just the composition if felt a little plain and off compared to the rest #everything else is pretty #this is me analyzing the art #AUHSHSJN !!!!!!!! I want to know what book 10 s cover is gonna be #kotlc #anyways the whole point of this is theres no way im the only one this obsessed over the covers like i rarely see anyone talk about them #i also have a whole page on my notes app dedicated to what the book 10 cover could look like .. #not to mention i did draw a cover imagine for book 10 a few months ago #THIS ISNT NORMAL !! please does anyone else feel the same way

[kanalaure]

had a thought when i was in the shower, and the thought was 'maglor dual-wields bc he and maedhros learned to use a sword left-handed at the same time' and it started turning the wheels in my head

the thing is. it was, as his brother's regent and someone who lost three family members (three kings) to morgoth in quick succession (the last time bc morgoth is a sore winner and couldnt resist sending an army to a meet up), the best choice to make with the resources and information they had. leaving him, i mean. they didnt even know for sure he was alive until he was hung from the mountain, and the noldor literally could not have survived losing a fourth leader that soon (not to mention this would have put celegorm in charge, and..... well. well.................)

but

you cant tell me he didnt want to. you cant tell me that didnt eat at him to leave his only older brother, his king, hanging there while he lead their followers as best he could. but after everything............ really, how do you apologize to someone for failing to save them while proof it could have been done was dangling in front of your face?

and when i was thinking about all that i got this image. that when maedhros limps his way to the practice grounds for the first time, maglor is there. he stares at him across the field, and draws his sword with his off-hand.

"it's fair," he says, and nothing else

it's the only apology he knows how to make

#i on sheer instinct wrote 'nelyo' in that first paragraph bc in my head thats what mags always calls him as default #and apparently my brain has been on maglor so much lately ive started thinking of his brother by that nickname #maglor #maedhros #silmarillion #silm headcanons #silmarillion headcanon #feanorians #no shade to celegorm its just that he is an even worse candidate for king than kano is. bc i dont think he has any more native talent at #leadership. but that doesnt mean he doesnt want it. and that is a hella dangerous combination #this is sort of half meta half fic and god it took so much to keep it this short yall have no idea how much i deleted #i could really go on for about twenty pages about how i feel about their dynamic changing over the years #im gonna cut myself off tho bc its midnight and i have to be up for work and classes in....... seven hours

[l-ucitiel]

i'm gonna put this under a cut cause it's kind of negative i guess, but

i might go through & drop most of my old threads & inbox things. i won't delete anything recent, or anything in my inbox that is unprompted, but i've been deeply struggling with my portrayal of lucifer & it kind of threw me into a funk where i didn't do anything & now those things are heavily weighing down on me. i feel heavily insecure about my blog right now & feel that i kind of need a fresh start interactions wise, otherwise i'm not too sure what to do. i love the character too much to drop him or anything, so i'm trying to make things a little easier on myself. i'm sorry if i upset anyone with this but please feel free to reach out to me anytime - i'm always really happy to interact with people, i'm just a little bit shy. i'll reblog some memes & stuff later, i just wanted to throw it out there.

#*` 𝟎𝟎𝟐 / out of character. #neg / #/ i feel really bad doing it but im like #/ feeling bad about my blog and my portrayal and stuff so its what i need to do #/ ive been putting it off because i feel guilty but i hate pushing stuff off because i want to interact with everyone so badly #/ i just cant lately

[hella1975]

just full force threw a shoe at my sister's face and when my mum got me alone after she was like 'you shouldn't clobber her. but i get it' 😭

#it kicked off today but in my defence she's actually proper in the wrong this time even my DAD called her a bitch and my mum is FUMING #baso my sister came into my work with her mate when i was closing the other day and all the staff GLARED at them bc of aforementioned #close so i was being v chill so everyone 1) knew it was my sister and not some customer coming in late and 2) her friend wouldnt be uncomfy #like that's the real kicker her i was being extra laid back FOR her friend so he'd feel more at ease. and one thing about me is yes ive #said countless times i have a rural accent but my mum also raised me to know when and how to speak nice if need be bc people are cunts here #so when im waitressing i speak nicely bc it's a stuck up restaurant w stuck up customers but when im with my sister? making a point of #being laid back? my normal accent came through. and her mate when i was gone said i sounded 'really [from the county we live in]' #which WOULD NOT BE A COMPLIMENT. it's baso saying 'your sister sounds local and chavy' without using such explosive words #and my sister LET HIM SAY IT. SHE DIDNT DEFEND ME. and she told my mum about it later bc SHE THOUGHT SHE'D TELL ME OFF #LIKE SHE DID IT TO SNITCH. THERE WAS NO SCENARIO WHERE MY SISTER WASNT BEING A CUNT. and my mum hit the ROOF #one thing she's rlly been big on is loyalty bc it's always been the 3 of us so when she found out my sister let him say that she FLIPPED #and this all happened last night and i only found out this morning bc i overheard them screaming at each other and turns out my mum #tried to keep it from me bc she didnt want my feelings hurt and IM pissed bc it actually did hurt more than i thought it would #like i KNOW what people say about my accent but it's a guy i know? my sister's been friends w him for years? i was being nice? #it's EMBARRASSING like i was clueless & friendly and turned around for him to be like 'look at this stupid local girl' like?? #and my sister did NOTHING? it just sucks so i STORMED upstairs when i found out and had it out with my sister #and she knew she was fucked so she did all 'im not talking to you i have nothing to say' AND PUT HER EARPHONES IN? #the way i RIPPED them out. got in her face like okay girl u think i sound like a chav ill act like a chav lets GO #and it just got really aggressive and i wound up grabbing HER OWN SANDAL and full force hurling it at her face 😭 oops #from close range too like i was already in her face so i basically just smacked her with a sandal DSHGJKSH #now we're sat in silence bc alas we still share a room. WHAT the fuck. insane tbh but it's a bit funny. im so angry rn i could KILL #hella goes home