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troublesometrollhunters · 3 years

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Ooo, could you do headcanons with what it would be like do run a Bakesale with Toby, Jim, and Claire?

Bakesale Sheingians

Choas utter choas but hey when is this group ever organized?

The Bakesale is either to raise money for Claire's theater program or to help make Toby look good for Darci. After all raising money to get a new mascot costume or new sports equipment, easiest way to her heart.

You each agree to tackle a different type of desert so that way you have a million things to sell. It'll be a good way to relax but also it'll be something fun to do outside of Trollhunting.

Toby does cookies and brownies. Nana has the best cookie recipes and he loves brownies so why not?

Claire picks pies and some traditional mexican desserts. She gets super excited to make and share receipies her mom and adbulea taught her!

You chose cakes and cupcakes. Simple enough but can be really fun and are a baking classic. Plus there's a million ways to make them.

Jim does a bunch of other stuff like crumbles, lemon squares, soufles, pudding, fudge, really anything the rest of you can't do. He's not much of a baker but he enjoys trying out new things in the kitchen.

You all spend the weekend at Jims. You start baking the weekend before the Bakesale. His moms pulling a double shift so you have the house to yourselves and Barbara said she was okay with all of you staying to keep Jim company. Besides Claire decided selling on Monday at the beggining of spirit week would make everyone crave sweets and was a good way to start the fundraiser.

It takes forever to get the actual baking done though.

Jim is kind of a perfectionist when it comes to cooking and it turns out baking is the same way. While he makes everything perfect Toby is trying everything to make sure its "sellable". You all are guilty of this and probabaly end up eating and tasting more than you meant too. And with so many people in the kitchen all doing different things it becomes choatic fast. At least your all laughing.

As Claire plays her PapaSkull playlist, Jim begins organizing desserts, and you begin frosting Toby dances around the kitchen cheering everyone on since his brownies an cookies are baking.

He quickly gets bored when the cookies are baking and starts an all out flour war. As You, Jim, and Claire are trying to continue making your baking creations Toby causes a bit of mischief wanting to mix things up. He wants the bake sale to go smoothly but it was getting to serious and this was supposed to be fun.

As you hold back Claire from throttling Toby the trolls come out from Jims basement for a surprise visit while Jims in the middle of stirring. You say hi as Toby laughs and Claire struggles against you to get cupcake all over him.

Draal asks if this bake sale is actually a bake war but you quickly shut him down when you see him eye a whisk covered in batter.

The trolls are confused about whats happening and ask questions curious as you doge getting hit by a giant glob of frosting. Jim is trying to hold back laughter as he keeping baking. You'd lost your grip on Claire and now she was threatening to end Toby in Trollish and Spanish for the chocolate goop in her hair.

Blinky commends her Trollish but asks she not say such vulgar things. Toby hides behind Aarrrgh giggling and Aarrrgh grabs some raw dough off the counter to eat. Draal looks at the choas before asking Jim if he'll be coming to training tomorrow. Jim explains the baking will take all weekend and he would be focused on this since there weren't any trollhunting jobs.

Blinky sees this as a learning opportunity about human culture and decides to help!!! He convinces Draal and Aarrrgh to participate as well as you and Jim shrug. It was already crazy might as well just make it fun.

The trolls talk about their traditional desserts and troll feasts as you all talk about your desserts. Claire excitably talks about her Mexican heritage and the desserts her family taught her to make while Toby mentions he's so he would've made stuffed donuts but Jimbo didn't have a fryer or the right kind of oven. Blinky takes out a book and begins writing things down to not forget as this is all fascinating.

Aarrrgh and Draal snack a lot but thankfully they only eat everything that couldn't be sold like burned or ugly looking goods. Draal finds he likes candy more while Aarrrgh likes the cakes and cookies. Blinky meanwhile tries Jims fudge and Claires pies.

By the end of the night your all covered in flour, milk stains, batter, frosting, egg shells, and god knows what else but you had all had so much fun.

As you settle in the basement for the night the trolls join you happy to stay. You curl up in blankets and pillows and sleeping bags and tell stories and play games before falling asleep cuddled against each other.

The entire weekend pretty much goes by in a blurr of baking, messes, troll questions, sleepover games, and eating a majority of your product. Thankfully on Monday more than enough survives taste testing to sell.

Jim's no surprise sell out the fastest but your all surprised at how well the bake sale goes. All the teachers buy something and a ton of students support you guys as well. Even Steve buys something (from you and Claire flirting the whole time but hey more money)

At the end of the day you've sold out what you were prepared to sell for the whole week. Money is raised for the school and your all happy you got to do something fun.

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nikibogwater · 3 years

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The Final Becoming--a Tales of Arcadia fanfiction: Chapter Three

A gentle king, a warrior queen, a clever prince, and a Master Wizard. Together with their allies, these four heroes must reform the ancient kingdom of Camelot and rise up to face the Arcane Order in a decisive final battle for the fate of everything they hold dear.

An alternate take on the series ending for those for whom Rise of the Titans didn't quite make the cut. Updates every Friday (weather permitting).

(Link to Chapter Two)

Read on Ao3

Or in the post below:

The street was eerily quiet. Sirens wailed in the distance as frightened civilians rushed to help their injured neighbors. Steve’s axe was driven into the pavement where Bellroc had stood just a moment before. No one said a word. Jim deactivated his serrator.

Douxie was frozen in place, standing with his arm still outstretched, wide eyes staring at the empty space where Nari had just been. The pain in his back was completely gone, as were the various other scrapes, bruises, and burns he’d earned from the fight. He felt completely rejuvenated, ready to run a marathon even.

And yet he fell to his knees, clutching Archie close to him.

“No...” he breathed. “No, no, no no...!” Archie stirred in his arms, cautiously flexing his wings for a moment. His fur was no longer frosted, but instead, shiny and sleek, as though he’d just finished his daily grooming. Nari’s magic had reached him as well.

“Douxie--” he began, turning his attention back to his distraught Familiar.

“I promised...” Douxie gasped, hands coming up to grip his bangs. “Archie, I promised!” His breathing was coming too quick, his chest heaving as his eyes stung with bitter tears.

“We’ll get her back,” Archie told him resolutely, nudging Douxie’s hands away from his face with his nose. “Douxie, we will get her back.”

“...It was my fault,” Jim murmured. “I held everyone up because I was the only one who didn’t have a weapon.”

“I don’t think getting here two minutes earlier would’ve made much of a difference, Jimbo,” Toby said, taking off his helmet with a sigh. “We came at Bellroc with everything we had, and they barely even seemed phased by it.”

“Wingman right,” AAARRRGGHH!!! grunted. “Bellroc too strong.”

“I can’t believe it!” Steve exclaimed, wrenching his axe out of the pavement. “They withstood a full-power strike from Toothache--Toothache! The greatest weapon ever forged! Uh, I mean, maybe after Jim’s fancy daylight sword.” He reverently ran a finger down the edge of Toothache’s blade. “...Maybe.”

“We don’t have time to sit here and nurse our pride,” Douxie asserted, standing once more, his Familiar on his shoulder. He swept up Archie’s broken glasses with his magic and murmured a quick reparation spell. Archie gratefully put them back on his nose as the wizard continued. “We have to rescue Nari before the Order opens the Genesis Seals. Claire, can you find her with your shadow magic?”

“I think so,” Claire replied. “But Douxie, I don’t know if rushing in right away is such a good idea. Like Toby said--we barely put a scratch on Bellroc, and that was before Skrael joined the fight. There’s no way we can take both of them at once and save Nari. Not like this.”

“If I still had the Amulet, we might have had a shot,” Jim said. “But...”

“Leave the matter of the Amulet to me,” Douxie told him. He activated a few runes on his vambrace, and a fresh shirt and jacket appeared in front of him and dropped into his hand. “Claire, I need a portal to Camelot Castle. We’ll have to make this quick.”

*****

Veryovkina Cave, Abkhazia, Georgia

Nari’s eyes felt as heavy as sheets of lead as she slowly regained consciousness. The last thing she remembered was pouring all of her magic reserves into Douxie and Archie. Now, the ache of exhaustion weighed on every bone in her body. Her legs felt like deadweight as she hung, suspended in pitch black silence, the only source of light coming from the magic seals that gripped her wrists like vices. Distantly, she could hear the slow, steady drip of water. What little air there was felt stale and heavy in her lungs, as though it had lain here undisturbed for a millennium.

A thrill of terror shot down her spine as flames roared to life around her. Monstrous shadows flickered and danced on the stone walls. She was somewhere deep within the recesses of the earth, deeper than even the Krubera dared to venture. And before her stood Bellroc and Skrael, with the Genesis Seals floating between them.

“Your insubordination ends here, Nari,” Bellroc said. “Your champions have failed you, and none shall stand against what is to come.”

“Curious,” Skrael mused, gliding over to her and gripping her chin in his icy fingers, peering down at her face. Her eyes fluttered closed, too weary to hold his piercing gaze. “You seem to have grown stronger since you abandoned us. You broke free of my magic. And yet you wasted all of that strength to mend mere fleshlings.” His grip on her chin grew tighter, freezing nails digging into her skin. “...You always were the weakest of us,” he leered. “...in more ways than one.” He released her, and her head dropped to her chest, bitter tears of frustration and weariness gathering in the corners of her eyes. It was nothing she had never heard from him before. And yet, even after all this time, his words still throbbed and burned like wasp stings in her heart.

But if there was one thing she had learned from her centuries of running, it was that none of his words were true.

“...You are wrong,” she breathed, voice tight and airy. The self-satisfied look on Skrael’s face faded into one of disgusted curiosity. “I h-have become stronger than either of you have been in c-centuries...” she gasped. “I have s-seen the atrocities you wish to erase...a-and I did not f-flee from them. This world is broken....h-held together only by the love....of those who choose to fight for it. I will not....r-run from what this world has become. I will stand with my f-friends....my family. And together....we will change it.” Nari forced her head up to look both him and Bellroc in the eye. “...Only the weak choose the path of destruction,” she hissed.

Bellroc’s blazing palm crashed into her cheek, sending her head whipping to the side.

“That boy’s insolence has poisoned your mind,” they snarled. “You dare speak to us in such a manner? Enough of this. We do not require your willingness in order to proceed. Whatever strength you claim to have, it is nothing in the face of the power we wield.” Bellroc raised their hand once more. Nari let out a choked cry as their magic pierced her, fire pouring into every corner of her mind, coursing through her veins, licking away at her very soul.

Her vision was lost to burning brightness. With a final scream, Nari knew no more.

*****

Douxie’s staff clattered as it hit the ground. The amulet landed on the floor beside it, breaking apart into several pieces.

“Ai, watch it, Douxie!” Krel shouted, leaping to gather up the scattered bits. Douxie clutched at his heart, eyes wide and horrified, breath coming in short gasps. He groped for the nearby roundtable, bracing himself against it. Nearby, Blinky set down his book and hurried to his side to support him.

“Easy there, Master Hisirdoux!” he reprimanded gently. “You look pale as a ghost. Have you been providing for your human bodily needs? Perhaps you need a glass of water.”

“I...Y-yes, water would be good, Blinky, thank you,” Douxie stammered, gripping the edge of the table with a trembling hand. The troll patted him on the shoulder and bustled off.

“Douxie?” Archie murmured, crossing the table and pushing against his shoulder. “What is it?”

“I-I don’t know...” he panted. “S-something just....It’s like someone just pulled a piece out of my chest, I-” He stopped with a sharp inhale, meeting Archie’s gaze. “...Nari.”

“...We must hurry,” Archie said gravely. “We’re running out of time.”

“I’d like nothing better!” Krel barked, frantically rearranging and connecting all the pieces on the table. “Thank Seklos--none of the components are broken. But if you drop it like that again before the spell is complete--”

“I won’t, I won’t!” Douxie insisted frantically. “Both of you get back--I’ve got it this time!” He snatched up his staff and reached out with his magic once more, lifting the amulet from the table. “Ad Luchem....Gloria...!”

The amulet sputtered and dropped to the table. The lights in the castle flickered. Douxie gasped again as a pulse of ancient magic surged through him like an electric shock. A stack of books nearby toppled over. Alarms began to blare. Krel raced for the nearest monitor and pulled up the displays for the castle’s sensors.

“Oh, Seklos and Gaylen...” he breathed.

“Douxie!” Claire came racing into the room with Jim at her side, staggering a bit as she too clutched at her own heart. Toby was close behind them, wobbling on unsteady legs as the castle lurched and shook around them. “Please tell me that scary wave of magic was just you finishing the amulet!”

“Massive amounts of energy are coalescing in Greenland, Brazil, and Italy--They must have broken the Genesis Seals!” Krel shouted over the alarms.

“No...No!” Douxie gasped. “No, we need more time!”

*****

Kaffeklubben Island, Greenland

The icy grey sea off the coast of the tiny, desolate island rippled, then surged, and then began to spiral. From the depths of the whirlpool burst a megalith of ice, frigid water streaming off its frozen body, glinting in the cold, silver sunlight.

Mount Vesuvius, Italy

The crater of the dormant volcano exploded, sending massive chunks of earth and ash flying into the sky. A colossus of rock and molten lava clawed its way out of the heart of the volcano, sending deadly streams of magma down the mountainside.

Amazon Rainforest, Brazil

Birds screeched as they took to the skies in panicked flocks. The forest began to tremble. There was a rumble, then a tremendous crack, as though the earth itself was breaking in two. A portion of earth surged upward, supported by four thick columns of stone, draped in roots and greenery. Water spilled down its sides as the earth titan began to move with massive, heavy steps that shuddered the land around it.

*****

“Ad luchem gloria mea! Ad luchem gloria mea! Come, on, come on! AD LUCHEM GLORIA MEA--Why isn’t it working?!” Douxie cried, as the amulet gave nothing more than a weak little tremor in response to his spell.

“The original Amulet had to be forged by two Master Wizards, right?” Toby suggested desperately. “Maybe we need a second wizard!”

“No, the Akiridion tech was supposed to cover that!” Douxie insisted. “I’m just....I’m missing something, I--” He stopped, eyes widening as he snapped his fingers. “...Oh bleeding balroths, how could I have been so stupid! The Amulet of Daylight wasn’t designed with just armor in mind. It was meant to house the Sword of Daylight as well. That’s what I’m missing! The sword!”

Heavy silence fell on the room as Douxie turned to look at Jim, his momentary excitement lost as he saw the former Trollhunter. An aged look had come into Jim’s eyes at the mention of Daylight, an exhaustion that spoke of years of shouldering the heaviest burdens imaginable. Claire took his hand and squeezed it, while Toby put his hand on Jim's shoulder. Jim glanced between the two of them for a moment, before releasing a long, shuddering sigh.

“...Jim,” Douxie began, his voice gentle. “You are still our Trollhunter--with or without the Amulet. You are meant to wield Excalibur. I can feel it, and I believe it with everything I have.”

“...I know,” Jim murmured, voice so, so weary, too weary for a boy his age. He looked up at Douxie, and the wizard could see his eyes were glossed with tears. “...I’m just....so tired, Douxie,” he confessed. “I gave everything I had to this fight--even my humanity. And then the Arcane Order... They took me and twisted me into that thing, made me hurt my friends, turned me into the monster I never wanted to be...Coming back from that, finding out that the amulet was gone, that you were the real hero everyone needed, it was like....waking up from a nightmare. I got to go home, Douxie, really go home for the first time in months. I was... I got to be myself again. I’d almost forgotten who I was apart from the Trollhunter. And I...” He swallowed. “I’m sorry. I know heroes aren’t supposed to be selfish like this, we’re supposed to shoulder every burden, do what’s right no matter what, but all of a sudden, I remembered what it was like to be normal, with no higher calling or fixed destiny, a-and I wanted it so, so bad, more than I ever have before, and I--” He was cut off as Douxie pulled him in for a hug. He cupped Jim’s head against his shoulder, keeping his grip loose in case the boy wanted to pull back.

He didn’t.

With a quiet sob, Jim’s hands came up and gripped the back of Douxie’s shirt, and the Trollhunter let himself shed the tears he had been holding back all these months. Without a word, Toby and Claire joined the embrace, as Krel silenced the alarms blaring throughout the castle. Archie curled around their legs consolingly.

“We don’t always get to choose when we lay down our burdens, Jim,” Douxie said mournfully. “I will do everything in my power to make sure you go home again. All of you. But Nari--the whole world--needs us now. We have to finish this fight.”

“Rule number two,” Toby mumbled, his voice muffled in Jim’s jacket. Jim choked out a laugh.

“I-I know...” he replied. “I’m sorry.” He sniffled again, before releasing another tearful chuckle. “Gods, I must sound so pathetic. Here you are Douxie, nine-hundred years of protecting the world, and I’m breaking down after just two-and-a-half.”

“I’ve felt as you do more times than I can count, Jim,” Douxie admitted. “I was just never brave enough to let anyone see it.” Jim swallowed and took a deep, shuddering breath, squeezing the older boy tight.

“...Thanks, Douxie,” he whispered. He pulled back, wiping at his eyes with his wrist. “I...” He took another deep breath. “I am the Trollhunter. I will wield Excalibur, for this fight, and for those to come. That’s my burden to bear. And I’m going to see it through, no matter what.”

“We’ll see it through,” Claire corrected. “You’re not in this alone.”

“Your wingman’s got you, Jimbo,” Toby agreed, clapping him on the shoulder. “Always have, always will.”

“Ehh...Douxie?” Krel piped up nervously. “I don’t mean to be callous again, but I think you should all take a look at this.” He beckoned the group over to his monitor. “Those coalitions of magic? They’ve stopped coalescing. Now they are simply...moving.”

“...It’s the Titans,” Douxie breathed. “Just like Nari warned us. They’ve resurrected the Titans. Oh, fuzzbuckets this is bad!”

“Can you tell where they’re heading?” Claire asked.

“Well assuming none of these trajectories change,” Krel began, frantically typing away at the keyboard. “it seems all of these Titans are all heading for the same location. They will converge... Ai, ai, ai...”

“...What? Where are they going to converge?!” Toby pestered anxiously.

“...Arcadia Oaks. Why is it always Arcadia Oaks?!” Krel ranted.

“Well, that’s an easy one,” Douxie said. “The town’s sitting right on top of a natural wellspring of planetary magic--it’s one of the few places left that’s still overflowing with raw magical energy. That’s why Merlin set up one of his safehouses there. If I was going to try my hand at some earth-destroying magic, that’s the place I’d do it.”

“Isn’t that a comforting thought,” Archie put in dryly.

“But what are they going to do when they converge?” Jim asked.

“They will combine their might and purge this planet of all living things!” Blinky reported, stumbling into the room with an empty glass in one hand and frantically flipping through Merlin’s Grimoire with another two. Aaarrrgghh and Steve were with him, the latter yelling about the lights in the castle’s gym going completely nuts and nearly chopping his own leg off with Toothache in all the confusion. Blinky shoved the empty glass into Douxie’s hand. “Apologies, Master Hisirdoux, there were at least thirteen different taps in the kitchen and I couldn’t tell which one was for water. More importantly, what little information I’ve been able to gather from Charlemagne’s translations--Archibald, your father’s ‘handwriting,’ such as it is, is almost as impossible to decipher as Ancient Draconic itself--”

“Must be a magic thing,” Krel muttered under his breath.

“Yes, anyways, according to Merlin’s writings, the Titans are three ancient beings of raw natural magic--they are the Old Ones who helped shape this planet, transforming it from a ball of primordial sludge and boiling muck into the lush world we all know and inhabit today. But with the breaking of the Genesis Seals, they have been reawakened, and if they all come together over Arcadia Oaks, they will unleash a blast of destructive magic so powerful, the earth will be plunged back into the shapeless void it once was!”

“What?!” Toby yelped. “But why would they do that? They’re the ones who helped make this planet!”

“The Titans do not seem to be fully sentient beings, though they are certainly alive in some sense, and capable of wielding tremendous ancient powers,” Blinky explained. “They require a guiding force, a pilot, you might say.”

“Or three,” Aaarrrgghh added.

“Nari told me that the Arcane Order were meant to be the guardians of the Titans, as well as all the magic of this world,” Douxie continued. “Bellroc and Skrael believe that this world has been tainted by humans, that the balance of magic and mortality has been corrupted. The fact of the matter is, the Arcane Order isn’t too pleased with how humanity has turned out, and they’ve been looking for a way to ‘fix’ that for a long time now. At first, they tried joining forces with Gunmar and Morgana, but as most of you recall, that plan didn’t work out for them. So their solution now is to just get rid of all the creatures and start fresh, and I bet this time, they’ll make sure whatever life comes afterwards will never be allowed to use magic again.”

“So how do we stop them?” Claire demanded.

“The Titans can only unleash their world-encompassing destruction if they all converge over a single source of planetary magic--in this case, Arcadia Oaks.” Blinky went on, turning a few pages and squinting at the appallingly messy notes taped to the margins. “If we can stop just one from reaching its destination, they won’t be able to destroy the earth.”

“Nari’s Titan is our best shot,” Douxie said. “She never wanted to go through with the Order’s plan. We don’t have to actually defeat her Titan, we just have to break the Order’s control over her.”

“Is that even possible?” Jim wondered. “If they’re using some kind of mind-control magic...” His fist clenched on top of the roundtable, as he recalled what happened to Draal.

“I... It has to be,” Douxie answered brusquely. “I’ll find a way.” I promised I would, he added silently. “In the meantime, we need to work on slowing down the advance of the other two Titans, get civilians out of the way, and try to keep casualties to a minimum.”

“But Douxie, how will we stop them?” Claire pressed again. “Even if we can get Nari back and keep them from converging in Arcadia, that’s still two massive magical monsters under the control of a couple of bloodthirsty demigods.”

“She is right. It would be most unwise to underestimate the amount of damage a single Titan can do when in the wrong hands,” Blinky cautioned. “Even if the Order cannot return the earth to its primordial state, they will still be capable of wreaking untold havoc on the world, certainly causing the deaths of millions, perhaps even billions of innocent lives.”

“I...” Douxie looked around at his friends, all of whom were eagerly awaiting his answer. “...I don’t know,” he admitted sadly. “Blinky, did Merlin say anything about what to do in the event of the Titans’ return?”

“Let me check.” Blinky flipped through the book for a moment. “No...No...Not here...That’s just a grocery list...Ah! Here! There’s something here!” Everyone leaned in hopefully. “Should the Titans arise under the control of the Arcane Order, the jaws of inescapable death shall close on this world. There will be no recourse but to pray to whatever gods humanity still keeps faith with for a swift and merciful end.” There was a very heavy silence. Steve let out a squeaky croak. “...Oh dear. That doesn’t help us much at all.”

“...Then we’ll just have to improvise,” Jim said resolutely. “Krel, I know this is asking a lot, but do you think Aja would be willing to bring reinforcements from Akiridion V?”

“I have already sent her a distress beacon while all of you were discussing,” Krel replied. “She is on her way, and she will bring as many as she can. But our planet is still in pretty rough shape after General Morando’s coup. I don’t think we can expect more than a handful of people at best.”

“Alright, how much time do we have before the Titans reach Arcadia?” Jim asked.

“Approximately eighteen hours, according to these projections. But it is entirely possible that their current rate of movement will not remain consistent.”

“I’ve crammed for finals in less time than that!” Toby scoffed. “We’ve got this.”

“Douxie,” Jim turned to the wizard. “How long until you can have the Amulet ready?”

“Ten minutes tops, once I have the gem from Excalibur’s hilt. Krel and I simplified Merlin’s designs as much as we could. Now it’s just a matter of putting all the pieces in place.”

“And where’s Excalibur now?”

“I took the liberty of bringing it on board here,” Krel answered. “Seemed safer than leaving an ancient magical weapon just lying around where anyone could stumble across it. It’s in the west courtyard.”

“Then I guess...It’s time,” Jim murmured. Claire took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

At that moment, there was a loud, musical ruckus from beneath the toppled stack of books on the table. Blinky scrambled to dig an old, cracked cell-phone out of the pile. “Ah, Miss Nomura! Perhaps this could wait just a few more minutes? I’m in the middle of--”

“Your tribe is ready to tear itself apart over here, Blinky!” Nomura roared on the other end. “The new Heartstone is flickering--flickering! I don’t care what you’re doing, I’m not handling mass hysteria for you!”

“You have corralled rambunctious human younglings before, haven’t you?” Blinky tried to argue. “Surely you can quell the anxieties of a few Trolls.”

“BLINKY!”

“Alright, alright! Just tell them all I will be there within the hour! And for the love of Deya, nobody break anything!” He ended the call with a frustrated huff and threw the phone down on the table, bringing a hand up to massage his temple. He looked back at Jim, a forlorn, reluctant expression on his face. Jim sighed and gave a short, understanding nod. There was another beep from Krel’s computer.

“Ah, that was fast!” he exclaimed brightly. “Aja’s just come through a wormhole near the main gate. I’d better go bring her up to speed on the issue. Douxie, you and Jim should go get Excalibur and finish forging the Amulet. Let’s get moving here, people!”

“Hey, wait up!” Steve shouted, vaulting over the roundtable and sprinting after Krel. “Long-distance boyfriend here, I call dibs on the first hug!”

“You are not getting mushy with my sister when there is a planet-wide catastrophe unfolding...!” Krel’s voice faded out of earshot as the two of them tore down the hall.

Thanks so much for reading! ✨

(Link to Chapter Four)

#tales of arcadia #toa #jim lake jr #claire nunez #toby domzalski #douxie #toa archie #toa nari #steve palchuk #toa aaarrrggh #toa blinky #krel tarron #toa bellroc #toa skrael #toa fanfiction #the final becoming

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p1cklebaron · 2 years

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Tuesday Showcase #1

What you won't find here is a boring time in a mediocre establishment.

Barrelhouses, Juke Joints, Honky Tonks, Dive Bars, Booze Cans and Speakeasy's all have one thing in common...a good time had by all.

Red’s Lounge – Clarksdale, Mississippi

Other Mississippi juke joints have come and gone, but for over 30 years, Red’s Lounge has provided the Mississippi juke joint experience to the world. A pool table, Christmas lights and Delta blues memorabilia lining the walls, and Red Paden at the door make this the place for real deal Mississippi blues. Delta players like Big Jack Johnson, Frank Frost, Sam Carr, T-Model Ford, Super Chikan, Robert Belfour, Big George Brock, Terry “Harmonica” Bean, Mr. Johnnie Billington, Jimbo Mathus, Cedric Burnside, Jimmy Duck Holmes, and so many others have played Red’s. National acts like Johnny Rawls, Watermelon Slim, and Eric Sardinas have also taken Red’s stage. Don’t be surprised to be standing next to a Tom Waits or Robert Plant who include Red’s on their Delta agenda. In addition, Red is very involved in community activities, hosting fund-raisers for local musicians.

#barrelhouse #Juke Joint #honky tonk #dive bar #speakeasy #booze can #blues #blues rock #good times

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schafisobsessions · 3 years

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ok here is the rest of he game :3

Jimbo and Ned torture the Vampire with electroshocks ^^

Jimbo scoops the body under the bed then sleeps as if it was the most normal in thing in the world to have a passed out Vampire under your bed :D

GRANDPA FROST COMES TO VISIT THEM AND BRINGS PRESENTS!!!

The Vampire is crying locked into the basement, because he gets no presents :(

Grandpa Frost has left now. Jimbo ran outside to look at the misterious light......being abducted by the Aliens AGAIN

The Vampire plans his escape

He sneaks outside....

But Ned catches him (after Grandpa Forst left) and beats him up!

He tortures the Vampire until Jimbo returns

Jimbo looks wasted.....The next day Ned goes to work, Jimbo stays at home.

I don’t know what happened in the house next, because I watched the animals.

Soldier apparently made a cat-friend :3

He and Hasso talk about hunting. :)

FIRE!!!! (I have no idea why) The kidnapped Vampire burns to death

Grim seems pissed off, that he’s got so much work on Winterfest day!

JIMBO RAN BACK INTO THE HOUSE (I suppose he wanted to save the television) AND CAUGHT FIRE!!!!

HOT HOT HOT!!!!

Ned carries soldier out of the danger zone.

Jimbo managed to get out of the fire and is looking like BBQ, Ned is crying. This is the worst winter EVER!!!!

While the firefighters are keeping the fire at bay, Grim is looking at the collection of Urns Jimbo and Ned keep in the basement

For some reason he’s very emotionally touched by their decoration.

He places the vamopire’s Urn next to the others.

Everything smells burned....

Jimbo insists to spend their last money on replacing the sofa and the tv! Ned is high on drugs (that’s why there are stars around his head.)

He couldn’t take the drama happening without.

Jimbo just wanted to bring the garbage outside as............ONCE AGAIN THOSE DAMN ALIENS!!!!

Ned wonders what’s taking Jimbo so long. He grabs a drink.

And some more drinks...

And a smoke.

The follows the dog’s example and takes a nap in the bathtub

Hasso’s thirsty! The toilet’s refreshing :P

Jimbo came home and woke up with bad stomach aches which saved him from going through an alien pregnancy

He takes a bath

Then wakes up his dog to cuddle him. No matter how much shit happened, at least he’s still got his faithful puppy!

Jimbo goes outside to send his puppy hunting. :)

Ned is having mood swings. First he’s crying,

then playing in the dirt half naked,

then runs outside and builts a snowman in his underwear. (maybe he should take less of the drugs...)

Jimbo has learned that there will be free drinks tonight at some bar, so they decide to go there. Ned, instead of drinking(!) grabs the microphone and plays rockstar:

Ned had the time of his life!!! As he was done with singing, Jimbo got up and grabbed a guitar standing in the corner and started playing.

Jason the serial killer spoils the party >:(

But the pets came into the bar as well and Soldier is PISSED OFF! He attacks Jason until he starts running away crying

Brave kitty probably saved Jimbo’s and Ned’s life this evening.

The next day, Ned is deeply disturbed, crying inside the shower. Why is this year so cursed?! Today is New Year.......it can only get better, can’t it?

WRONG!!!! CRASH!!! As Jimbo was bringing out the garbage in the morning a taxi accidently knocked him over. The taxi-driver is crying. It was an accident!!!

The animals saw what happened :(

Soldier is crying loudly making Ned get dressed and run outside

The reaper is already here. Ned is begging! But Grim is already pissed off enough that he’s ONCE AGAIN got to work on a holiday! So he harvests Jimbo’s soul

“ Mhhhhh fuck you arsehole mhhh!!! “ Ned kicks Grim Reaper into the balls!

...........Ned feels unable to make it. Every new year without Jimbo will be pointless. How did he deserve this suffering?! But what to do? He can’t leave the pets alone can he......? ...........maybe......it’s time to say goodbye and find a good caring home for them.

Ned hugs the pets, telling them to be nice to their new owners, then calls the adoption service (no screenshots because the pets just faded into thin air)

*wheeping* Jimbo’s ghost heard Ned and appeared.

Ned salutes his dead comrad one last time.

Then stabs himself in the guts with his survival knife.

R.I.P.

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fear-before-valor · 3 years

Note

Sweet dreams Jimbo, 😨 brings you a Draal~

Dreams and Nightmares II No Longer Accepting II Warnings: Major gore, graphic depictions of body horror, extreme grief, death, gravesite, bodies, burial practices, soul-crushing angst, 0 comfort in sight; y’all this one is rough, so please don’t read unless you are in a state of mind where you can handle these things II Also, this one is longer than the other ones, coming in at 1882 words, so brace for that as well II And don’t forget to take care of yourselves after this <3

Final note: if you see anything you think needs to be tagged, please let me know!

He was in the void. There were stars above him, and trails of blue around him, as spirits bustled through the space, not seeming to pay him much mind, really. Briefly, he wondered if ghosts could even be busy, but he dismissed the thought as he drew Daylight, instead, the warm metal familiar in his two-handed grip.

Although, as for why exactly he’d drawn his sword, he wasn’t entirely sure.

Was he here to train?

Kanjigar liked getting to test his reflexes every so often, so that must have been why he’d gone into the Soothscryer in the first place, right?

…So why was he all alone…?

When his predecessor didn’t show, Jim straightened from his readied stance, relaxing his posture. Snapping Daylight to his back, he stepped forward, eyes grazing bit by bit over the void and its runes, searching for any sign that could refresh his memory, remind him why he was there.

Scouring the room, he jogged lightly around its perimeter, wondering if Kanjigar might have just missed him. Maybe if he ran into the spirit…

Something freezing appeared at Jim’s elbow, causing him to stiffen, as he felt prickles of frost across his skin, beneath the armor… maybe even through his muscles and down to the marrow of his bones.

It certainly felt that way, at least, as he wrapped his arms around himself, in an unsuccessful attempt to warm himself up.

Turning to find the source of the chill, he found himself face-to-face with a tunnel, black as pitch and foggy by his ankles.

It was odd.

He’d never seen it before… had it always been there?

Shooting one glance back into the spirit hub, none of the other Trollhunters seemed to have noticed what he was doing… or even that he was there, at all; so, with one last deep breath of the temperate air in the other room, he turned to the tunnel and stepped inside.

The tunnel was long, impossibly so.

Though, how he knew that, he wasn’t sure. Because, as he blinked, he was coming out the other end.

Whirling on his heels, and… panting, for some reason—perhaps because he’d been walking for what must have been a day? (how did he know that?)—he stared back into the mouth of the blackened door, and tried to piece together what had just happened.

Why was his memory blanking like this? First he couldn’t remember why he was in the void; next, he was missing an entire day of walking?

What had he eaten? Had he slept?

He frowned, and almost walked back into the tunnel, but as he stepped foot into it, the walls around him lurched, scraping inward. Giving a yelp, Jim removed his foot from the threshold, just in time to watch the hole in the wall close up.

Oh.

Okay.

He was stuck here, then.

…great.

Sighing, Jim hoped to everything that there was another way out, and the only reason that one closed up was because it was a one-way tunnel… for some reason.

Deciding to think more on that in due time, he instead focused on taking in his new surroundings. He couldn’t look for a way out if he didn’t know where he was in the first place.

Heart plummeting, he wasn’t sure he was so thrilled about that decision, though, as his eyes flew to the thing that his foot had just crunched.

Milky white and still fresh—he hissed in panic— it looked like a bone. Going to take a step back, he froze when the crack he’d just heard sounded again, as he felt dust and a sickening grinding beneath the metal heel of his armor.

Breath quickening, Jim stood in place, then, and reached for Daylight. Activating its blue flames, he used it like a flashlight in the dim room, and pointed it at the ground.

And then dropped Daylight, knees going numb.

Mouth dry, he tried not to stumble in his panic, over the pit of skeletal remains he was standing on.

They were everywhere.

Some of them were old and powdery, ancient and horrifying to look at. Others were fresh and gleaming, still wet, some of which had meat left on them, rotting and grey. He was sure he’d seen maggots boring holes into femurs, into knee sockets, into teeth.

Hand flying to his mouth, as he felt his throat seize, and his stomach roll violently, Jim breathed through his nose, a technique his mom had taught him when he was a kid, to help when he’d had trouble with the tongue depressors during his checkups.

Here, though, it didn’t help nearly as much, as the stench of rot and chalky remains flooded his senses. Eyes tearing from the smell, he tried not to gag, as he bent and picked up Daylight, gritting his teeth against the nothing his body was trying to expel.

It felt like he hadn’t eaten after all, but after this, he wasn’t sure he’d ever eat again.

His mind supplied him with the image of that grey, sliming flesh, and all of its rot and chewy sinew, slipping down his throat, and—

The acid burned when it came up, as he fell to his knees with a convulsion.

Choking in a breath, he spat the last of it out, and pushed himself upright. Kneeling on what he really hoped was a cleaner patch of the floor—at least his armor had hand coverings—Jim took a moment to get his bearings, reorient himself.

He could handle this. He could get out of this. He’d faced down his own living nightmare before; he’d defeated Bular, Gunmar, Morgana, and he’d even time travelled. He could get out of there. Jim would find a way, and if he couldn’t, then, he’d make one.

Shoving himself to his feet, he hefted Daylight once more in both of his hands, and started walking along the walls of the room, using what little light he had to search for another tunnel, or a door of some kind, even a window.

Jim wasn’t sure there was one, though, as he finally came to a halt after what might have been closer to three passes around the perimeter. It was hard to tell, but by now, he was certain he’d seen that bone formation before.

His chances of getting out started to feel a little more doomed than they had a few minutes ago, but he refused to give up hope.

Hadn’t they also thought there was no way out of Merlin’s tomb?

They’d found an exit then; he’d find an exit, now.

Having a wise, old wizard’s help would be nice, though, he had to admit. No matter how angry he was at Merlin, he’d take anything the guy could offer him right now, over… this.

This, which was…

He sighed. Not even the Darklands had been this bad.

The bodies were everywhere, and… it was getting hard to ignore—the pull in his chest toward the center of the room. It was getting hard to ignore.

It had been just a little stirring at first, nothing he’d even paid attention to.

Now, it was a desperate longing, an inflamed tug in his sternum, straining against his will, begging him to go and look. Go and see what was there.

It was waiting, just for him.

Somehow, though, as surely as he could feel that pull, he could also feel a draining, parasitic dread, which wormed nauseatingly in his already twisting stomach.

Swallowing in anticipation, he decided to take the risk. The pull was bordering on painful, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get out of here without it crumbling his resolve.

Stepping over spongey flesh and brittle tendons, Jim approached the center of the grave, anxiety rising.

As the thing in the center emerged, Jim knew in a crushing heartbeat, like a blow to the lungs, that he’d been right to dread what was there.

His eyes teared again, but this time, it wasn’t from the fumes of death, but from the visage of it.

Draal, with his arms folded over his chest, and a peaceful expression on his face, stood squarely in the center of the room—and it shattered Jim to see.

He felt cleaved down the middle, as his knees fell with a wet squelch into something meaty and writhing. Not that he even noticed.

His hands grazed the stone as Daylight clattered to the dirty floor, abandoned.

“Draal…” Jim wheezed, voice empty and hollow, “Draal, I’m so sor—” He hiccuped, “I’m so sorry.”

Repeating it over and over again, a desperate prayer, Jim sobbed into the decay beneath his friend’s feet, hands becoming fists against the statue’s knees.

No hand was lowered to grip the back of his head and tell him that it was okay. No wry smile emerged to remind him not to make it weird. No warm, gravelly chuckle sounded, to reassure him that he was alive.

The floor collapsed.

Jim’s vision whited out, for just a moment, and when he came to, he was falling.

Tumbling through the sea of remains and death, Jim watched Draal’s statue plummet in front of him, just out of his arm’s reach.

Setting his jaw, Jim swore that he wouldn’t let Draal’s body break again. He deserved a proper rest, a proper memorial, in the hero’s forge with the rest of the Trollhunters—he didn’t care of Draal technically wasn’t one to the spirits—he was a Trollhunter to Jim, and Jim was—

Jim was—

…Jim was—…

Jim was nothing, anymore.

He wasn’t the Trollhunter, anymore.

The amulet at his chest spun its hands wildly, as if it, too, had remembered. Snapping off of him, it hovered in front of Jim’s face, spiraling in the air before him, falling down, down… and then it burst, into a powder that flooded Jim’s mouth with chunks of hardened marrow and clots of blood, thick and bitter.

He coughed, swallowed, and then squinted through the dust, at Draal’s still peaceful form. He had to grab it.

It didn’t look right, to see it at such odds with the rain of death matter around them.

Tucking his arms against his sides, Jim kicked with his feet, going for Draal.

Speeding too hard, too fast, he slammed into his friend, scraping his arms to hell, but—but it didn’t matter. He’d caught him.

He’d caught him.

Jim clung to the statue, wrapping his arms around its neck, holding it to his chest, as they descended lower.

Tucking his head into Draal’s shoulder, he couldn’t see the ground coming.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he couldn’t brace for impact.

When he hit whatever barrier was at the bottom of this pit, whatever it called a floor, his eyes flew open, huge and round, as he felt Draal crumble in his arms, and then—his own arms followed suit, splintering into rough, rocky sediment, along with his chest, his heart, his teeth, his hands.

He laid in pieces on the floor, struggling to turn his head to look at Draal’s face, which had chunked off and cracked down the middle, marring the smile he’d previously been wearing. He looked like he was grimacing now, in pain, furious.

…Jim’s eyes grated shut.

#tw: death #tw: gore #tw: body horror #tw: blood #tw: bodies #tw: grief #tw: angst #tw: nightmares #tw: night terrors #ask #anon

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darkarfs · 4 years

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I’m sure I left SOMETHING off

1. The Flatlanders - Keeper of the Mountain 2. Oneohtrix Point Never - Suite From Magnetic Rose 3. Prince - Purple Rain 4. Jaco Pastorius - Portrait of Tracy 5. Rush - Subdivisions 6. Aphex Twin - Alberto Balsalm 7. Ben Frost - Híbakúsja 8. Sade - The Sweetest Taboo 9. Demdike Stare - Forest of Evil (Dawn) 10. Black Sabbath - Supernaut 11. Squeeze - Pulling Mussels (From the Shell) 12. Tom Waits - Hold On 13. Fiona Apple - Werewolf 14. The Breeders - Cannonball 15. Foetus - Throne of Agony 16. The Doobie Brothers - What a Fool Believes 17. Harry Belafonte - Jamaica Farewell 18. The Cannanes - We Drink Bitter 19. Brian Eno - Just Another Day 20. Ke$ha - Die Young 21. Warren Zevon - My Shit's Fucked Up 22. Mariah Carey - Fourth of July 23. The Mountain Goats - Against Pollution 24. Halo of Flies - Ballad of Extreme Hate 25. Finntroll - En Maktig Har (A Mighty Horde) 26. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart 27. In Flames - Pinball Map 28. Tom Jones and Portishead - Motherless Child 29. Gang Starr - Above the Clouds 30. Morphine - Honey White 31. Hall & Oates - You Make My Dreams Come True 32. George Jones - She Thinks I Still Care 33. Rihanna - Shut Up and Drive 34. Benoit Pioulard - Ailleurs 35. The Kentucky Headhunters - Dumas Walker 36. Dream Theater - Pull Me Under 37. Ween - Your Party 38. Iron Maiden - Wasted Years 39. Wham! - Careless Whisper 40. Decapitated - Lying and Weak 41. Jozin Z Bazin 42. Gal Costa - Sebastiania 43. Boney M. - Rasputin 44. Guns N' Roses - Paradise City 45. Barry Gibb - I Am Your Driver 46. Ninja Sex Party - The Last Unicorn 47. Culture Club - Church of the Poison Mind 48. Fleetwood Mac - The Chain 49. Benoit Pioulard - A Coin on the Tongue 50. Gwar - I Suck on My Thumb 51. Melvins and Lustmord - the Bloated Pope 52. John Maus - Hey Moon 53. Aphex Twin - Rhubarb 54. James Ferraro - Butterfly 55. Mal Waldron - Rock One For Jimbo San 56. Kenji Kawai - Floating Museum 57. Shriekback - Nemesis 58. Butthole Surfers - The Wooden Song 59. Beck - Mexico 60. The Cure - Burn 61. Sparks - Eaten By the Monster of Love 62. Songs: Ohia - Ring the Bell 63. The Coup feat. Dead Prez - Get Up 64. Fear Factory - Self Bias Resistor 65. Gwar - Nitro Burnin' Funny Bong 66. Z-Ro, Juvenile and Devin the Dude - The Mule 67. Warren Zevon - Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner 68. Jonathan Richman - Velvet Underground 69. Spacemen 3 - Come Down Softly To My Soul 70. William Elliott Whitmore - Dry 71. Ace of Base - The Sign 72. Tindersticks - Rented Rooms 73. Malicorne - La Mule 74. Lee Hazelwood - After Six 75. Aimee Mann - Labrador 76. Gruff Rhys - Candylion 77. Blackstreet - No Diggity 78. Mark Morrison - Return of the Mack 79. Kurt Vile - My Sympathy 80. Weird Al Yankovic - Dare To Be Stupid 81. TLC - No Scrubs 82. Tom Waits - Hang Down Your Head 83. Flaming Lips - What Is the Light? 84. Hall and Oates - I Can't Go For That (No Can Do) 85. Roger Miller - Not In Nottingham 86. Tears For Fears - Everybody Wants To Rule The World 87. John Martyn - Solid Air 88. Thomas Dolby - Europa and the Pirate Twins 89. Pulp - Common People 90. Fiona Apple - Daredevil 91. Run the Jewels - Sea Legs 92. Janelle Monae - Cold War 93. Gillian Welch - Dear Someone 94. Black Sabbath - Hand of Doom 95. Kesha - Godzilla 96. They Might Be Giants - Don't Let's Start 97. Harold Faltermeyer - The Discovery 98. Savatage - Somewhere In Time/Alone You Breathe 99. Ratt - Round and Round 100. Toby Fox - Dogsong

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im-the-pride-of-canceledmarines · 4 years

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"Come on, please let me sit on your lap, please man! Just for a moment"

"NO!"

"But.....but.....I thought you love me.....please Jimbo I'm....I'm so cold, I /need/ a hug."

"Hey, I thought you said a ghost doesn't feel cold or pain or anything!"

".....well that was a lie. Of course I'm still feeling things. Maybe not as intense as a living being.....shit in fact it kinda feels like a mix between permanent shell shock and....ah bloody hell what am I even trying to explain. You wouldn't understand anyway."

"Awwww....*snif* Come here, my little ghost ~ "

"....you're sure?"

"Of course!" *tries to hug Ned who faints away reappearing behind Jimbo.

"......last time I fell asleep on your arm you carried away a frost bite...."

"Eh....yeah....that's why we gotta put on clothes you know....and maybe wrap you in a blanket or something."

"......that's not the same man. I want to feel your /skin/."

"Well but /I/ don't want to be turned into a literal /ice cube/, you know?!" *turns around, slowly getting annoyed by Ned not being able to make up his mind*

"......maybe I should just let it be. Ghosts aren't meant to interact with humans....I mean it's not like there aren't attractive ghosts around the local cemetry and....."

"NED!!! Are you telling me you're going replace me /AGAIN/?!"

"I.....now calm down man! Do I look like I don't have /needs/ anymore just because I could /kill/ my husband by simply touching him???"

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frostcorpsclub · 2 months

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this was so much fun bwahaha id love to see you guys do this if you'd have fun with it so I guess I'll make it a tag thing? tagging: @manbehindthemask (who gave me the idea to do this) @kindheart525 @viciouslyfilthy @cornerofhell @lenorethequietbookkeeper

#jimbo frost #adminart #canon vs fanon #art game #oc game #tag game #tag games #my art #admin art

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benchslappedsports-blog · 6 years

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The Sleeping Giants Part III

I am the type of person who likes to discuss a number of obvious and abstract topics in the world of sports. Few topics excited me more than playing the “What If” game. So, over the next 5 days I will be counting down the Top 5 Sleeping Giants in College Football.

For those who maybe aren’t sure by what I mean by “Sleeping Giant”, a Sleeping Giant in college football is a program that has more potential than they do success and requires a few moving pieces to line up in order for them to capitalize on their potential or emerging power. Some programs on this list have had some success yet underperform OR have had very little, but, could be potential powerhouses. Today we will discuss #3 on my list, the University of Central Florida Knights. To say University of Central Florida (UCF) had a coming out party last year is an understatement. One of the newer programs in college football, only existing since 1979, this program was an afterthought in the sport until the early 2000′s when the University and the city of Orlando began to back the football team. Claiming their first conference division title in 2005, the Knights have since claimed 5 more and 5 conference titles, including during their undefeated season in 2017. Being the big boy in a small pond has been kind to this Group of Five team since the early 2010′s. Being the only Group of Five program to claim a New Years Six bowl championship two times since the start of the BCS era in 1998 and into the College Football Playoff Era. All seems to be going well for UCF, so why are they #3 on this list? They are just waking up. In an interview with the media at SEC media Days in the summer of 2011, the late great Mike Slive, then Commissioner of the SEC, said that he felt in the future, he could see the UCF Knights joining the SEC and being a real contender on the national level. An awfully bold prediction from one of the most powerful and brilliant minds in all of college sports history. What was it that Mike Slive saw in UCF so early? The potential for the University to catch football fever, attract elite coaches, and the geographical location. These factors may already be in play. After 2017, it seems the UCF fanbase was bit by football fever, everybody loves a winner. At the start of the 2017 football season, if you had told me the biggest story out of the state of Florida would not be, “Miami is back!”, “Jimbo is leaving FSU after a complete collapse”, or “McElwain to be fired mid-season for false claims, poor record, and lying”... well, I’d call you crazy. Turns out, the UCF Knights and their fans made their way to being the most talked about team in Florida, that in itself deserves a championship ring (haha, jk). The city of Orlando surely seems to be on board and so do the students, but, what happens if the Knights go 8-5 this season or worse? Is Spectrum Stadium (The Bounce House) still going to rock? Or will UCF slip back into the likes of other decent Group of Five program’s atmosphere? If this football fever stays though, step one to this Giant Stomping around the sport is a lock. Attracting elite coaches is not something schools in the Group of Five tend to do. One of the main reasons why is because they don’t have the money to pay an elite coach. However, top tier coaches do tend to walk through the doors of the Orlando campus. George O’Leary, for all his interesting flaws, was a great coach, and helped build the program into what it is today. To be fair, something at that school needs to be named after him. Speaking of great coaches, Scott Frost turned out to be the hottest coach in the game last year, somehow outshining the job Kirby Smart at Georgia, Mark Richt at Miami, and Lincoln Riley at Oklahoma did. However, as every great coach at a Group of Five school does, Scott Frost left for the bigger gig. What happens though if Scott Frost stayed, do they go rolling and New Years Six bowling again? This time competing for an actual National Championship? Who knows? But luring and keeping an elite coach will check the 2nd box to get this Giant going. Let’s see if Josh Huepel can keep things going in his first season as a head coach. There are only two better states to have as your home field recruiting advantage than the state of Florida. UCF sits in the most commercially attractive and fun city in the entire state and still happens to have a college town feel, campus vibe, and beautiful weather to compliment it. If I were a top tier recruit in the state of Florida, you better believe geographically, I would prefer Orlando over Tallanasty, The Swamp, and hoity toity Miami. Orlando is going to appeal to the average recruit on many levels, and when they set foot on the beautiful campus with all new facilities, they will drool if they aren’t already. Top recruits will line up and ask to play for an elite coach at a football crazy school. I think it is safe to say UCF is geographically blessed. If the football fans stay as crazy as they were last year, rally behind the new head coach Josh Heupel, he turns out to be a great coach (and they can keep him), the top recruits will follow, and it won’t be long before Conference Expansion Bonanza fires up again and UCF will be dropping the “AAC” title for an “ACC, SEC, or Big12″ logo. Don’t look now, but this Giant may already be on the right path.

#ucf #ucfknights #central florida #orlando #college football #cfp #bcs #george o'leary #josh heupel #american athletic conference #sec #florida #recruiting #ncaa #scott frost #national championship

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jxpper · 6 years

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Young Jopper Headcanons

Joyce's father was never around, so when her and Jim were friends as kids Mr. Hopper always treated her like one of his own. He'd always offer her a ride home or tell her that if she needed anything that he was there.

Hopper's parents always tried to convince him to date her but he was shy about his crush on Joyce. When they would mention it, he would go silent and look back down at his dinner plate.

Joyce tried to teach Hopper how to play piano several times as teenagers. He would see her play and say something like "that looks so easy" but he'd end up just sitting and watching after getting frustrated. Instead, he found his talent in the guitar

When Hop would work on his car in his dad's garage, Joyce would always jumpscare him while he was under the car. She stopped when she scared him so bad that he hit his head and had to go to the hospital for a concussion.

Joyce didn't know it but every time Lonnie said something rude to her, Hopper keyed his car when he wasn't around. Joyce didnt figured out it was Hopper until she was older

Since they were 14 years old, every Christmas Joyce and Hopper got eachother the same gift. Two cartons of cigarettes and bags of candy.

Joyce had a habit of chewing copious amount of gum. It helped with her anxiety when she chewed it. Hopper always called her Bazooka Jo-Jo for it but he always had a pack of gum in his pocket for her just in case.

Jim always wanted a leather jacket but his father wouldn't buy him one. Joyce found her father's old leather and gave it to him as a birthday gift. Hopper was elated

Joyce and Jim used to sit in The Hopper house basement and smoke after school. Jim continuously tried to teach Joyce how to blow a ring of smoke but she never got it. One day, she finally was able to do it but Jim wasn't there to see it. She tried to show him the next day but she wasn't able to do it

Joyce loved to walk through the woods in the spring time. Hopper was always nervous that she would get lost so he'd follow her. One day they found a kitten and she took it home, despite her mother having cat allergies. When her mom started to get sick from the cat, Jim took it for her so she wouldn't have to put the poor thing back in the woods

Jim always had a habit of driving really fast. On several different occasions during blizzards, he put a wallet sized photo of Joyce on his speedometer. It gave him purpose to return home safely and reminded him to slow down

When Joyce's family and friends forgot her 15th birthday, Jim skipped class to go home and bake her a birthday cake. It was half raw and half overcooked but the pink frosting that said "happy b-day Joycie" made her day much better

In 10th grade, Jim got really sick with the flu but refused to go home because he had a football game that night. Joyce drove him home early from school but in a haze of being delirious from his fever, he accidently told her that he had always loved her. She just laughed and helped drag him into his room so he could rest

Hopper sucked at Algebra but Joyce was amazing at it. If he failed one more test, he would be kicked off the football team. Joyce stayed up all night on the phone trying to help him study, even when she knew he'd fail. She snuck into Mr.Cooper's classroom the next day and changed the answers on his test so he'd pass

When Joyce's mom died in the summer before Senior year, she had no where to go. The Hopper's cleaned out their basement and set it up for her to stay in. Jim's parents died when he was in his early 30's so he went to clean out their house. He walked around Joyce's basement/room and smiled because he could still smell the scent of her cigarettes and her Beatles posters were still on the walls

Jim knew Joyce always forgot about her time of the month. He started keeping spare pads in his locker for her. When she needed one, every morning on the 14th, she'd run up to him at his locker with the same 'oops' face. He'd sigh and fish one out for her. She'd then run away down the hall and very loudly yell "THANKS JIMBO"

Every Friday, Joyce and Hopper had 'shitty movie night' at the Hawkins Theater. Even the goriest horror movies had them rolling on the ground with laughter.

Chrissy Carpenter was always the one who bullied Joyce throughout school. When she smashed a piece of chewed gum in Joyce's hair, Hopper spent an hour and a half with her in the bathroom brushing it out.

Hop had a job at a local ice cream shack in the summer. Joyce would always mess around at the shack during his shift. Sometimes Jim throught it was because she was jokingly trying to sabotage his job but she really just missed spending summer with him.

#jopper #jopper headcanons #hopper and joyce #joyce and hopper #jim hopper #joyce byers #hopper x joyce #joyce x hopper #joyce x jim #jim x joyce #jim and joyce #joyce and jim #strangerthings2 #strangerthings #stranger things 2 #stranger things #stranger things headcanons #young jopper #jopper headcanon

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racingtoaredlight · 3 years

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College Football 2020 Season Week 9 TV Watch Em Ups: the weekend college football truly became president

Before we get into these games that you lot have already picked over on your commenter zoom call, I just want to marvel at this beautiful correctness from last week’s post:

Michigan State at 13 Michigan 12:00pm FOX

Michigan is favored by 21.5 against a bad Michigan State team. If that’s not the set up for a great punchline, I don’t know what is.

Now let’s get back to being mostly wrong.

I could attempt to make humor here or set up the rest of this post or just wallow in whatever feelings right now but the only thought I’ve actually got in my head is “Woohoo! Miami’s 6-1!” With that in mind I’ll try to get through all of the rest of this shit. Theoretically I’m putting you up on games you wouldn’t otherwise care about but realistically this whole pandemic situation has wiped out my desire to watch all the bad football and the commenters here are much more informed on the gambling and degeneracy that I so long to wallow in.

I don’t even have an RTARLsman going right now because all of this still feels like a long dopey preseason. And it isn’t improving. Just look at the long list of games of the week this week. Up from only one listed last Friday night! I’m looking forward to some surprise games of the week at that.

Saturday, November 7

Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile

North Carolina at Duke 12:00pm ESPN2

Eternally hilarious that this isn’t a season-ending rivalry game. I’m keeping my TV far the fuck away from this one but Carolina should run wild on Duke.

Nebraska at Northwestern 12:00pm BTN

Frost shoulda stayed in Orlando. There’s no way to win in the B1G with Nebraska for the foreseeable future.

Michigan State at Iowa 12:00pm ESPN

For the kids. Whoo.

23 Michigan at 13 Indiana 12:00pm FS1

Michigan is favored again. Huge mistake.

Arkansas State at Louisiana 12:00pm ESPNU

Nope.

West Virginia at 22 Texas 12:00pm ABC

If West Virginia goes with their classic look this is a great uniform matchup, if nothing else.

Tulane at East Carolina 12:00pm ESPN+

In the good times this is a beautiful expression of degerate football love.

25 Liberty at Virginia Tech 12:00pm ACCN

There it is. A ranked Liberty team on the road against an unranked Virginia Tech team. The home team is favored by 17 if you wonder what oddsmakers think of that ranking.

USF at Memphis 12:00pm ESPN+

This is a get right game for Memphis after they got smoked by Cincinnati last week. What a world we live in.

ULM at Georgia State 12:00pm ESPN3

Not interested.

18 SMU at Temple 12:00pm ESPN+

SMU being ranked ahead of USC is beautiful and I hope it never changes. A few years ago, when they had Haason Reddick, Temple was really fun to watch. They are not fun to watch this year.

Arizona State at 20 USC 12:00pm FOX

First game of the year in the Pac-12. The o/u has fallen a little and I can’t tell you exactly why but I would load up on Herm Edwards kids at +11.

Troy at Georgia Southern 1:00pm ESPN3

One of the worst games on TV (or whatever) this week.

Boston College at Syracuse 2:00pm RSN/ESPN3

Nobody is going to trick me into seeing any of this game under any circumstances.

UMass at 16 Marshall 2:30pm ESPN+

Marshall’s #16. What the fuck is this season doing?

Appalachian State at Texas State 3:00pm ESPN+

Highly do not recommend.

North Alabama at Southern Miss 3:00pm ESPN3

Nope.

Stephen F. Austin at Eastern Kentucky 3:00pm ESPN3

Uh uh, no way.

Fresno State at UNLV 3:30pm CBSSN

Some serious West Coast trash here. Might not be the most boring game with this kickoff time.

8 Florida vs. 5 Georgia (in Jacksonville, FL) 3:30pm CBS

Watching Florida play Georgia in football is one of those things that seems like it should be good but in reality is the equivalent of solving the lament configuration.

Maryland at Penn State 3:30pm BTN

Holy shit does this sound like torture.

Vanderbilt at Mississippi State 3:30pm SECN

All that fucking interminable two years of presidential campaigning ends and this is what we get for it?

Minnesota at Illinois 3:30pm BTN

3:29pm Eastern on November 7th, 2020 might be the perfect time for the world to end.

Texas Tech at TCU 3:30pm FS1

More bad news.

Kansas at 19 Oklahoma 3:30pm ESPN

Can our plucky Jayhawks beat the 38-point spread? That’s at least funny either way it turns out.

Houston at 6 Cincinnati 3:30pm ABC

This is the best of the bunch that are starting at 3:30 but it’s hard for me to expect much entertainment value out of this game. Unless Holgo has cooked up some real wacky shit. That’s at least possible.

Pitt at Florida State 4:00pm ACCN

This has all the makings of a real “why do we pay attention to any of this shit?” game.

14 Oklahoma State at Kansas State 4:00pm FOX

I’m not sure if this is actually true but it seems like it: Chuba Hubbard could become the first Canadian-born Heisman winner.

Angelo State at Abilene Christian 4:00pm ESPN+

Miami winning last night is the only thing I like so far out of this week’s games.

WKU at Florida Atlantic 6:00pm Stadium

I’m just shrugging and grimacing at my computer.

Baylor at 17 Iowa State 7:00pm FS1

There is something about Baylor that intrigued me a few weeks back but now I can’t remember it and we’re still not at a point in our nation’s history where I feel comfortable saying nice things about Baylor.

7 Texas A&M at South Carolina 7:00pm ESPN

I really hate Jimbo Fisher and I go into every week hoping his team will lose on account of him.

UCLA at Colorado 7:00pm ESPN2

Did Rick Neuheisel go back to coaching?

Rutgers at 3 Ohio State 7:30pm BTN

Justin Fields bores me less than his predecessor at QB for Ohio State but he still bores me.

Stanford at 12 Oregon 7:30pm ABC

There are some rumblings about this game getting cancelled.

1 Clemson at 4 Notre Dame 7:30pm NBC

Clemson has seemed listless the last couple of weeks but I’m expecting them to beat the piss out of Notre Dame even with Trevor Lawrence still on the rack with COVID.

Tennessee at Arkansas 7:30pm SECN

I’m glad this is relegated to ESPN’s shitty conference imprint channel, at least.

South Alabama at 15 Coastal Carolina 8:00pm ESPNU

Coastal Carolina is a perfect candidate to finish undefeated and ranked ninth.

Washington State at Oregon State 10:30pm FS1

Washington State was in absolute hell before Coach MAGA Pirate showed up and they might be back there now.

New Mexico at Hawaii 11:00pm Spectrum PPV

There’s some trick to watching these Hawaii PPV games for free and everybody in Hawaii knows how to do it but nobody on the mainland knows it because why would they go out of their way to watch Hawaii football? The GoGo offense, that’s why! Well, maybe. I don’t know if they’re actually letting the WR coach give input into the play designs yet.

GAMES OF THE WEEK

Air Force at Army Postponed

FIU at UTEP Canceled

Tulsa at Navy Postponed

UTSA at Rice Postponed

Purdue at 10 Wisconsin Canceled

Arizona at Utah Canceled

Washington at California Canceled

Charlotte at Middle Tennessee Postponed

#watch em ups #tv #football #college football #saturday post #gambling #hellraiser #time to play #lament configuration #covid

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ruppertmundysrevival · 5 years

Text

Troisième partie | 27 mai 2019

LE SPLEEN

Dans un ciel aux couleurs rococo, les deux cheminées de l’incinérateur percent la brunante. Juché au sommet, Joaquim Ieu-Mieux veille sur l’humanité qui renaît au gré du solstice.

Assis au sommet de sa cheminée, Joaquim balance ses pieds doucement dans le vide. Son regard se perd dans la courtepointe verte et blonde des diamonds. Il contemple de haut ce grouillis de vie et soupire.

Hélas, ce monde ne lui appartient pas. Une brise passe. Son cœur est lourd. Il a le spleen. Toute ça.

Il contemple de haut ce groupuscule de petits animaux beiges qui changent d’allégeance d’une semaine à l’autre : sans foi, deux lois (porter un chapeau, passer à côté du marbre), pas de principe, pas d’écoute. Ce sont, au fond, des mercenaires. Ils sont libres, ils sont vulgaires et ils sont extraordinaires. Joaquim est envieux.

Confiné à ses cieux aériens, Joaquim commence à trouver que sa vie manque de matière. Il avait entendu parler vaguement de la perversité de ce monde, de l’ubiquité du mal qui y régnait. Il paraissait même que ces êtres mangeaient les enfants d’autrui. Mais ce qui se dit entre les nuages finit souvent par passer en vent.

Et pourtant…

La tentation le tenaille.

Il a envie de sentir l’odeur de l’herbe qui s’arrache sous les crampons.

Il a envie de humer l’odeur des soucisses.

Il a envie d’être ébloui par la réalité du soleil.

Il veut savoir ce que l’on ressent lorsqu’une veine de la main éclate en attrapant un relais su’a sauce.

Il a envie de se mettre de la Big League Chew plein la gueule.

Il a envie de manger des graines en courant en avalant un hot dog en buvant une bière.

Il veut connaître ce que l’on ressent quand on frappe une balle au summum de sa vélocité.

Il veut trianguler sa course comme un grand voltigeur.

Il veut toucher ce terrain lisse comme le dos d’une femme.

Il a envie de bummer au parc jusqu’au crépuscule.

Et de ne plus revenir.

En observant plus attentivement le fourmillement du diamond, Joaquim aperçoit tout à coup l’un des joueurs qui se présente au marbre. Dans un cri rauque, la créature dégaine un élan terrible. L’impact du bat contre la balle fait vibrer la stratosphère et le projectile déchire le ciel. Le bleu est scindé par un halo de lumière jaune pâle-blanc qui tourne sur le gold. Une mouette pousse un cri divin. La communauté céleste est flabergastée. Un chœur de jeunes chérubins capote. Joaquim Ieu-Mieux voit alors, comme une rédemption, une brèche s’ouvrir sur le terrain de sa convoitise. Il ouvre grand les bras, se lance et fait un saut magnifique.

LA CHUTE

C’est dans un vêtement synthétique, coiffé de boucles blondes et arborant des écouteurs dans les oreilles que Joaquim Ieu-Mieux se matérialise sur la terre ferme. La chute est brutale : il est en sueur, il a le souffle court et son corps fait des mouvements étranges parmi d’autres corps qui font également des mouvements étranges. Autour de lui, des gens courent (mais que fuient-ils ?), ploient sous le poids de la gravité, s’adonnent à une procession débilisante de gestes répétitifs et douloureux. Ils appellent cela le Crossfit. Il lui semble assister à une orgie de gens qui se font violence, haletant et souffrant dans l’effort d’exister, dans la plus grande indifférence générale.

Puis, il l’aperçoit enfin.

Dans un flare chaud et ondoyant, comme une terre vierge qui fend la brume, son Atlantide, ses jardins de Babylone, son Gibraltar géant : le terrain de balle.

Des clôtures Frost dans le soleil couchant. Des clôtures Frost hautes et d’autres moins hautes sur lesquelles s’accoter. Des coussins. Des coussins qui expirent la poussière sous le poids des spikes, des coussins NEUFS posés par un bonhomme content d’être là. Des bats verts des bats bleus des bats mauves des bats avec une CAPE. Des balles. Des balles denses, des leather core, des 207, des 244, des balles JAUNE FLUO. Des pads des casques des canettes des gourdes des ti-gants. Des estrades. Des photos dans les estrades, des hobos dans les estrades, des drogués dans les estrades, des estrades en MÉTAL et des gens qui tapent dans les mains DEDANS les estrades et des vélos barrés DESSURE les estrades. Du sable blond et du sable blanc placé EN LIGNE. De l’herbe neuve, de l’herbe qui sent bon, de l’herbe fraîche. Des animaux, des animaux muselés, des mustélidés.

C’est comme un poème de baseball. C’est comme une épiphanie du loisir. C’est LA. PLUS BELLE. CHOSE. QU’IL A VUE. DE SA. VIE.

Mais.

Malgré la beauté du spectacle, le rideau se lève sur un cirque humain désolant.

Un premier drame conjugal éclate : deux frères, tels Caïn et Abel, s’invectivent ; trois joueuses se crient leur fiel. Et ils sont pourtant tous coéquipiers. Et il n’y a toujours pas eu de premier lancer.

Les joueurs se garrochent sur les buts comme la misère sur le pauvre monde. Il n’y a pas de soucisses, seulement des bières sans alcool et de la fucken Agostura. Des relais sont lancés dans les jambes des coureurs et le lanceur se pourlèche les babines d’être au centre de ce théâtre de fous où il reçoit en pleine gueule les flèches de ses adversaires et s’en délecte, exhibant derrière le grillage de son masque ses incisives dans un rictus vulgaire. Mais il s’élance toujours. Il n’a pas peur. Il est le seul joueur de cette grande tragédie.

À travers la clôture Frost, Joaquim croise le regard d’un chien muselé.

Ce dernier est triste comme la pluie.

Joaquim Ieu-Mieux commence à avoir la nausée...

Il décide alors de fuir, loin des insultes, loin de cette zizanie. Cherchant son air, il prend appui sur un arbre et baisse la tête. Il ferme les yeux. Il revoit son ciel pastel, ses cumulus duveteux. La brise, l’effleurement des ailes des oiseaux... Son paradis perché lui manque. Il ne sait plus ce qu’il fait ici-bas. L’humanité lui était moins violente lorsqu’elle n’était qu’un murmure sous les cheminées.

Et c’est alors que, Jimbo, le même frappeur ayant déchiré plus tôt le ciel de son circuit, se présente à nouveau au marbre...

BULL’S EYE

Le doigt de Dieu. La puissance divine venue punir Joaquim Ieu-Mieux pour son trip de flanc-mou s’abat sous la forme d’une softball Louisville 207 en plein entre ses deux omoplates et l’envoie direct au tapis.

Dans la confusion de l’impact, Joaquim ne voit plus que du noir. La douleur lui coupe le souffle. Il se roule mollement dans l’herbe en maudissant cet endroit dans lequel il s’est jeté, ce maudit parc de cabochons. En tentant de reprendre ses sens, il se promet de ne plus jamais s’épivarder de la sorte et de se tenir bien tranquille à la cime de ses cheminées. Les joueurs, tout à coup rassemblés autour de lui, le fixent d’un œil hagard et vide. L’un d’eux le poke d’une branche. Un autre se gratte la fourche. Tous sont inutiles. Terrifié, Joaquim Ieu-Mieux se relève laborieusement et prend ses jambes à son cou.

LA FIN

Perché au sommet de sa cheminée de briques tel un Humpty Dumpty penaud, Joaquim n’est jamais revenu entier de sa chute. Il lui arrive souvent d’aller porter sa main entre ses deux omoplates pour aller gosser dans la stigmate laissée par la 207, douloureux souvenir de son passage sur Terre. Il traînera à jamais la trace de son désir coupable pour les sports de balle, mais ne s’y méprendra plus jamais : ce monde n’est pas pour les chochottes.

– Guindon

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