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s0lairee · 2 months

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USUALLY i keep the incoherent rambling to @xanyiaz's dms, but y’all know how i feel about vincent. so, here: roughly 2000 words of me talking abt him and the house of solaire.

(also, all non-art, original posts that i make, whether they’re just me keysmashing or me actually dissecting a video will now be tagged as #jo speaks <3)

(possibly incomprehensible) spoilers for “questioning the king” underneath (and a bit from sam’s latest vid). this isn’t really theorising, it’s more “jo analyzes fictional characters and cries”

first of all. CAN we get a round of applause for the voicing and the thumbnail. erik did such a good job - i wasn’t actually expecting a william vid since hedral has been mia for two years, but this was INSANE. erik’s voice is much softer than hedral’s (i think it’s because erik is used to voicing younger characters?) and it really adds to the tone of the video. also, the thumbnail is so perfectly in style with the summit thumbnails. everything is wonderful i just needed a moment for that.

anyways. i did not expect the video to go like this? i mean, everyone expected vincent to call william out for everything at some point, but dude, this caught me so off-guard. and in hindsight, it shouldn’t have. obviously the fandom paints (or painted, before the summit) william as the vamp dad, but he’s a king. he’s going to be political, pragmatic, and sometimes callous. callousness is why he survived. if he was as feeling as vincent is, he wouldn’t have survived his maker.

but like. i completely expected william to stand his ground against vincent’s criticism and mention how it was the right thing to do, but i thought eventually he’d give in and (at the very least) apologise. what i DIDN’T expect was for william:

to not do that.

to pretty much only apologise for keeping vincent out of the loop

to emphasise that this was what being a vampire prince entailed - this was what politics meant

and to GIVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM. it didn’t seem like one, but “if you’re one of us, that’s part of the deal” very much implies “be a solaire and do what is expected of you, or leave.”

i’m glad that vin and william, in some way, found a middle ground. but (as much as i was on will’s side this whole time bc vin always seemed too naive for the rough politics), vincent is right. william shouldn’t have given that burden only to porter. that’s one vampire against dozens that are at least centuries old. also, not to mention, vincent would NOT have trusted porter. can you imagine the mental strength it took vincent to not only hear porter out, but hear stuff that his maker was supposed to tell him from the one person he couldn’t stand? can you imagine how porter felt to be the messenger caught between these two??? and somehow, it’s worse when william doesn’t back down and just accept that vincent was right. he can excuse everything else as politics, but he can’t excuse this. and it’s so weird that he tried so hard to brush past that.

also. william’s favouritism is incredibly obvious. it’s insane. like, this entire audio, he’s prioritising vincent (and lovely, to some extent). his literal first lines are him choosing to speak to vincent and lovely alone, when sam is RIGHT THERE. he refers to sam as samuel, being one of the only people who does that. he also took the time to explain himself to vincent, but to sam he just says “say what you will.” it gives the vibe of the older sibling that the parent knows will understand, and i know sam doesn’t care about the house like vincent does, but GOD it really rubs it in. i know there’s that convoluted father-son dynamic between vin and william, but william put the pack, their mates, sam and darlin’ into the firing line. porter only gave vincent and lovely an alibi. none of the others. this was the pack's first summit too. if sweetheart was caught eavesdropping, they would have been in SO much trouble. it’s pure dumb luck they escaped.

also. my brain ran away here. but porter, who isn't will's progeny but acts like his dutiful son, doing whatever is asked of his king because he saved his life - porter, who can't help but feel slighted when after everything, william still fights to justify his actions to vincent (while porter understands). porter who watches (in his mind, at least) vincent throw all of that away for what's "morally right". porter who is faultlessly loyal but so goddamn alone. are you picking up what im putting down <3

^ going off on that, the different reactions (or possible reactions) to will’s ultimatum have me frothing at the mouth.

i want to say porter is fiercely loyal to william and the house but i do think a lot of it is desperation and his own version of “morally right”? like to porter, the right thing is listening to whatever his king - the man that took him in and saved his life - says. or it could be cowardice. if he doesn’t do what will wants him to do, he would have to leave the house… and where would he go? to treasure? imagine explaining this shit to them. he literally has no choice.

to sam, it's the practical, good thing, and it's almost political. and this way of thinking is easy for sam, since he's not really as loyal to the house as vincent is. in fact, he's almost completely detached. so sam's idea of what's right is that william should've considered vincent’s opinion too, or have some kind of counsel, because they were the people who were most directly in the firing line. so when william so self-assuredly says he isn't wrong, and won't ever be wrong... he lost sam. (sam also never outright got the choice to leave like vincent did. he still made the decision. he's, like, 100% gone.)

and to vincent, it's almost completely emotional. he had this responsibility for the summit thrust onto him suddenly after william shielded him from a lot during his growing up as a vampire. he had so much information kept from him by his maker, his family, and he had to put up with the one person william knew he couldn't put up with. he also almost lost his partner, his brother and his friends in the whole mess.

+ need to add that vincent is very, very emotional. throughout the whole summit, there wasn’t one time when he was able to go with the (albeit fucked up) flow. partly, this is who he is; someone who feels everything in extremes, and partly because william had shielded him from the worst of the vampire world for so, so long. this isn’t a positive or negative character trait: it’s just a trait, and something will should have considered. then again, if not vincent, who would host the summit? not sam. certainly not alexis. and porter couldn’t.

(also, it’s precisely how emotional he is and how much importance he places on family that makes “a prince is supposed to answer to his king, not the other way around” STING.)

now the part that GUTTED me: the ultimatum, and why sam is most certainly leaving (and vincent might consider it, but GOD i fucking hope he doesn’t.)

erik has established both sam and darlin' as being completely self sufficient. like they've both expressed that they're better with each other, and that they've grown as people, but also they're not tied down by any obligations to anyone. darlin' may be fiercely protective of their pack and their identity as a wolf, but sam is heavily disconnected from the house. he might only be sticking around because of vincent, and those two are BROTHERS your honour. but like, he doesn't really feel anything emotional to them nor does he have an obligation to them, even as a vampire.

(especially as a vampire, a status he did not want and is going to give up some time in the future.)

but vincent has both emotional (and i wanna say political?) ties to the house. one, being turned saved his life. he didn't have the choice that lovely had, but he also doesn’t completely hate it like sam did (maybe bc he was unempowered before and the loss of power didn't hit as hard.) two, he's kinda reconciled with his status as a vampire prince. he really does love william. whatever relationship they have (had.) was good - there was some amount of trust there (that will broke now).

and also, being a vampire allowed him to save lovely. vin and lovely are COMPLETELY devoted to each other. they've had one of the most dramatic changes together.

more than that, the solaire house is family to vin. like, at least in the context of lore and the channel, it has been such a massive part of his life. he introduced his partner to his maker. he took them to the summit. he has confided in them abt princely duties. the house is, for better or for worse, his family.

(also, william bringing out all of vincent’s worst memories right in front of lovely (who was also there for those memories) is so fucking insane. wh. every argument he made in this video is so so insane.)

somehow, for all the analysing i'm doing, i can't predict lovely's emotions. i know they're gonna be angry in their own way: very soon after mastering their powers, they had it taken away from them; and very soon after being crowned in the house of solaire, they're watching it crumble.

will giving them an ultimatum felt very final. i know erik mentioned wanting to wrap up a few plotlines, and i’m totally ok with that (not . i need vincent. but i can make my peace w things) but if this is how it ends i will cry

in conclusion, will was fighting between politics and progeny. he tried, desperately, to have both. unfortunately, you can’t have both. fortunately, you can try to rebuild the relationship the choice broke. unfortunately, will didn’t do that. he wasn’t fair to a single person here. he still sees tasks and details as a privilege given to solaires, not something that is expected of him as vincent’s family.

most of erik’s plotlines have a theme, and this one seems to surround trust and choice and how the right thing isn’t always in black and white. so yeah it would fucking suck and i would bawl my ass off if vincent and lovely decide to leave the house …… i know it would be the right thing to do but also i wish porter could knock some sense into william or something.

i would love to see that, actually. feels shakespearean.

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soranatus · 1 year

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Star Wars: The High Republic Adventures: Galactic Bake-Off, with illustrations by Jo Cheol-Hong (Mi-Gyeung)

#jo cheol-hong #star wars #the high republic #torban buck #kantam sy #tabakan pak #zeen mrala #estala maru #ram jomaram #obratuk glii #porter engle #lula talisola #farzala tarabal #illustration #my edit #swedit #thr

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bonobochick · 1 year

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Cassie running in to Cormac on the way to question his parents. 😏

Big Sky ep 3x06

#big sky #cassie dewell #big sky deadly trails #kylie bunbury #cormac barnes #sunny barnes #buck barnes #reba mcentire #rex linn #black girl magic #bw #hulu #natural hair #lacey porter #jo masterson

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cubanpetekotrb · 1 year

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One of the thing I absolutely love about Greta from the beginning is that she is immediately on to Dove's bullshit. The first time he starts speeching and talking about him wanting to see fire in their eyes, everyone is excitedly trying to show it (even Jo) or maybe too shy or something to do it but they are all eating up that speech of his. Except Greta she is severely unimpressed by his speech and gives him a look that just screams "is this condescending asshole for real?"

I love it!

Eventhough I wasn't a major fan of Greta in episode 2 because she was an ass towards Carson that first episode and in the 2nd episode her motivations weren't exactly any clearer.

#a league of their own #aloto #greta gill #carson shaw #gretson #carson x greta #jo de luca #dove porter #he was being condescending towards them #that entire scene radiated that energy #i felt it and was kinda like yo these womam are not some fanboys a little but of respect please #and then saw gretas face #i was like yes!#shut up dove

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jesanson · 8 months

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SIEC 2023 : enjeux et perspectives de l'immobilier commercial

À l’occasion du SIEC 2023, le Salon International des Espaces Commerciaux, dont DCG.media est partenaire media, nous avons pu poser quelques questions à Christophe Noël, Délégué général de la Fédération des Acteurs du Commerce et des territoires. Christophe Noël, Délégué général de la Fédération des Acteurs du Commerce et des Territoires Trois bonnes raisons de se rendre au salon SIEC 2023 ?…

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the-bi-library · 5 months

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Here is the part two of my bisexual BIPOC books posts!

Part 1 here

Books listed:

I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast Is Me by Jamison Shea The Relic Spell: Book 1 of the Phyrian War Chronicles by Jimena I. Novaro The Warlock Snare by Jimena I. Novaro Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute by Talia Hibbert The Aurora Circus by Viano Oniomoh Rescues and the Rhyssa by T. S. Porter Far Sector by N. K. Jemisin and Jamal Campbell Xeni by Rebekah Weatherspoon Flip the Script by Lyla Lee A Scatter of Light by Malinda Lo The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson Shatterproof by Xen Sanders The Fall of Whit Rivera by Crystal Maldonado Scavenge the Stars by Tara Sim Zara Hossain Is Here by Sabina Khan When Tara Met Farah by Tara Pammi Royally Yours by Everly James For Sizakele by Yvonne Fly Onakeme Etaghene More To Love by Georgina Kiersten False Hearts by Laura Lam Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delany Tim Te Maro and the Subterranean Heartsick Blues by H. S. Valley Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody Becoming Dinah by Kit de Waal Caught in a Bad Fauxmance by Elle Gonzalez Rose The Black Veins by Ashia Monet Hearton by Amy Jo Cousins

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panelshowsource · 9 months

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britcom comedians & panel show personalities who share your sign

AQUARIUS ♒ dara ó briain • frank skinner • glenn moore • guz khan • hugh dennis • lucy porter • maisie adam • mark watson • phil wang • vic reeves

PISCES ♓ aisling bea • alan davies • dave gorman • ed gamble • jenny eclair • katy wix • michael mcintyre • rose matafeo

ARIES ♈ andy parsons • desiree burch • ed byrne • gary delaney • jamali maddix • john kearns • josh widdicombe • josie long • roisin conaty • romesh ranganathan • rory bremner

TAURUS ♉ al murray • alex brooker • catherine tate • greg davies • joe wilkinson • john robins • mae martin • milton jones • morgana robinson • rhys james • rob brydon • sally phillips • sandi toksvig • sean lock • stephen mangan

GEMINI ♊ alan carr • bob mortimer • david baddiel • fern brady • judi love • julian clary • london hughes • mel giedroyc • noel fielding • paul sinha • rich hall • richard ayoade • sara pascoe • sarah millican • shappi khorsandi • sindhu vee • tom allen

CANCER ♋ adam hills • alice levine • david mitchell • katherine ryan • harriet kemsley • ian hislop • jack whitehall • joe lycett • paul merton • peter serafinowicz • phill jupitus • rosie jones

LEO ♌ bridget christie • cariad lloyd • chris ramsey • daisy may cooper • frankie boyle • isy suttie • lee mack • jo brand • nish kumar • victoria coren mitchell

VIRGO ♍ alex horne • dane baptiste • darren harriott • ivo graham • jimmy carr • johnny vegas • lolly adefope • miles jupp • nina conti • stephen fry • sue perkins • tim key

LIBRA ♎ diane morgan • harry hill • jack dee • jon richardson • limmy • nick helm • rhod gilbert • robert webb • tiff stevenson • zoe lyons

SCORPIO ♏ angela barnes • chris addison • elis james • ellie taylor • holly walsh • liza tarbuck • jonathan ross • kerry godliman • kevin bridges • matt forde • mike wozniak • sofie hagen • susan calman

SAGITTARIUS ♐ adam riches • david o'doherty • jessica knappett • larry dean • miranda hart • richard osman • seann walsh • simon amstell • steven k. amos

CAPRICORN ♑ ahir shah • angus deayton • bill bailey • claudia winkleman • james acaster • mark lamarr • paul foot • rob beckett • suzi ruffell

#REPOSTING CUZ I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT HAHA #sorry i can't include every person ever but i tried to at least do everyone's faves!#a good day to be a gemini!!!#signs

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aheathen-conceivably · 8 months

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🎶 I'm not sentimental, but there's something 'bout the way you look tonight 🎶

Josephine stood outside the massive factory with a lump in her throat. She hadn’t lied to Val; it was a work trip. As much as she had contemplated turning down the order, she knew that she had to see him, to see what Giorgio Mistretta, of Mistretta and Associates, was like.

Surely he wouldn’t look like her Gio, like the boy she had last seen asleep in their bed all those years ago. Promise me you’ll marry me, Jo. At least someday. If not it’s over. Can’t you give me that much? Not even a promise? It was the last thing he had asked before she disappeared in the night, leaving him asleep and unaware as she walked out the door to give him her answer.

It would have haunted her for the rest of her life if she hadn’t come, just to look at him one last time and see how his life had gone.

She saw him before he saw her, trying not to look nervous on the couch in the center of the busy lobby. A millisecond later he seemed to sense her presence and rose to his feet. As he walked toward her, he laughed in disbelief, and she could still see the twenty year old boy she had once known beneath the long hair and mustache.

For a moment he tried to speak, but seemed not to have any words to adequately address her after all their years apart. Instead he simply looked at her, and she returned his gaze with equal emotion. Trapped in a sense of timelessness, the loud buzz of the lobby and adjacent bars spun into silence before she put her arms around him.

Through the quiet, Jo could hear her parting words to Valcita. It’s only a work trip, Val. Just a few nights, I love you. Every word had been true; but as Gio’s arms tightened around her, Josephine suspected that the real lie had been to herself from the start.

He pulled away self consciously, seemingly just as taken aback by the immediate rush of emotions as she was, “Would you…do you want to sit? I’ve set up a table for us in the bar.”

She nodded in agreement and he began to lead them across the lobby, past well dressed young people and meticulously finished interior details. Jo looked around in amazement and laughed, “Am I supposed to believe you own all this?”

He looked down to her with triumphant eyes, making no effort to hide the ego pulling at the edges of his smile or the knowing nods of patrons in his direction.

As they reached the table he pulled out her chair and offered to take her coat. Then he sat across from her and gestured to the bottles of wine he had set up for them. In the background, a woman’s singing mingled with the quiet buzz of conversation in the air. Above them a glass roof let in the last light of dusk before it would change to show the twinkle of the stars.

He poured them one glass of wine after another with all the delicate movements of a sommelier. As they drank, their conversation fell into an easy rhythm, the wine a forgotten pretense and the purpose of the visit positively trivial to the real issue at hand: each other.

As the moon passed its zenith in the sky and the singer finished her final set, neither Jo nor Gio seemed to notice the dimming light or the growing quiet. Only when a waiter came to the table to whisper in Gio’s ear did he look around and notice how empty the room had grown.

He cleared his throat and turned back to Jo with a small laugh, “It appears we’ve been closed for some time now. We can stay, of course, but I’d prefer not to be in the staff’s way as they close up. We can go upstairs if you’d like, to the…”

She interrupted him quickly, “Gio, I can’t, I…”

“Oh, Jo. No, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean it that way,” he spoke hurriedly, as though to correct a mistake he feared he had subconsciously made, “No, no. I had the porters bring your bags to one of the empty units for you. I didn’t mean to insinuate anything, I only meant to the roof, before you went to your room for the night. Just to see the stars, they’re…they’re beautiful from up there.”

For a moment, she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed. Relieved, certainly. Of course. Val. She would never do that to Val. But to the roof, to look at the stars. There was nothing wrong with that, the same way there was nothing wrong with being here, so long as nothing happened; and it couldn’t, it wouldn’t. She was sure of that, as sure as she had been in her conviction that she had only come here to see him, only to see how he was and hear his voice and look into his eyes...

#sorry for the long post my darlings #but look at them they’re too photogenic I cannot take blame #in an alternate darlington universe: the yeehaw transition #in an alternate darlington universe: yeehaw edition #sims 4 story #ts4 story

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littleplasticrat · 2 months

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✨RANDOM OC ASK: ✨ What is your OC's most shameful habit? It could be something they personally find shameful. The people around them find it shameful. Or just something you just find weird but they do anyway.

Thank you for the ask! I decided to do this for two NPCs in the game I'm DMing as the players have recently become trapped underground with two factions within the game.

Jolu (jo-LOO) is a bugbear and a section boss for the Porter's Union. He has 6 porters left alive, and intends to keep them that way. His shameful habit is that he secretly buys candy from the street urchins because he has a sweet tooth and the porters are mostly fed crab meat.

Dallet (DAWL-ut) is a tiefling and a pod guide for his grove. One of the PCs has kidnapped the leader of the grove, so Dallet and his 3 pod-mates are hunting them down. His shameful habit is that he only pretends to meditate when the other druids are doing so. In general, he pretends to be a lot more relaxed than he actually is and is looking forwards to getting quite violent with the PCs.

#random oc ask #thanks! this was fun #bugbear #tiefling #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dming

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minefield-of-a-ninja · 11 months

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28 DAYS: FINAL CHAPTER

Summary: Dean Winchester is an addict and an alcoholic, a USMC veteran, a father, and an older brother. As Battalion Chief with Lawrence Fire & Medical, Dean comes under investigation when he makes a dangerous and impulsive decision, defying his superiors and abandoning the team he is supposed to lead. He is given the choice to go to rehab for 28 days or jail. His lawyer insists on rehab, and Dean begrudgingly abides.

Characters in this chapter: Dean Winchester, Mrs. Butters (mentioned), Jack Kline, Meg Masters, Billie Pilgrim, Pamela Barnes, Rowena Macleod, Gabriel, Crowley (seen but not heard), Missouri Mosely, Alex Jones (seen but not heard), Lydia, Emma Winchester, Benny Lafitte, Castiel Novak, Bobby Singer, Ellen Harvelle, Casey Wood, Jo Harvelle/Victor Henriksen/Nick Iblis/Zeke Gadreel (mentioned), Sam and Jess Winchester (mentioned), Tessa Porter

Warnings/tags for this chapter: if you've read this far, you're golden xox

Words in this chapter: 5K

Author's note: Cute Sparkle Gryphon Meme

Emma driving is for @stusbunker. Love you, sis.

Thank you to Stu and to my 12yr ride or die @brrose-apothecary for read-throughs and late-night convos and for being my friends.

CHAPTER TEN

A week to the day before Dean is to be released, he and the others say goodbye to Jack. Mrs. Butters in the kitchen helps Dean bake and decorate a cake with a very cool screen print of Red Hood that Pamela found online, and Meg commandeers Jack's phone to add Pamela's, Dean's, and her own contact info to his address book.

"Hope you don't mind if I call you sometime, kid," Dean mutters.

There's a tight, heavy knot in his chest that he can't loosen. He wants to keep in touch with Jack so he can celebrate his successes. He doesn't want to be the old Dean who keeps in touch out of fear that Jack will stumble with no one around to catch him.

But deeply woven within that knot is an intense foreboding, stoking Dean's fear of letting Jack walk out the door.

"Of course," Jack answers, distracted by his pinging phone, telling him his Uber is one minute down the street. "I'll text you."

Dean nods and chews his lip. "We can trade me-mes," he says, watching the kid not watch him.

Dean has to actively restrain himself from pushing the flop of hair from across Jack's forehead and demanding the kid's attention. The knot spirals around his organs and rib cage into his gut.

"Meme," Meg says, trying to help Jack straighten the strap of his bag.

"What?" Dean asks.

"It's pronounced meme. Like theme," Meg answers, stepping back into place next to him.

Dean shakes his head as his heart jolts and dives at the sight of the white Honda pulling up in front of the big glass doors.

"Good luck, Jacky." Rowena appears at Dean's other side, looping an arm through the crook of Dean's elbow. "We'll miss you, sweet boy."

Meg mirrors Rowena, hooking her arm through Dean's. Dean drops his chin to his chest with a sigh, realizing how transparent his anxiety is to his friends.

"Ciao, baby," Meg bids the teenager a farewell, watching him stumble over his own sneakers toward the door.

"Bye, guys," Jack calls with a wave. "And thanks for the cake; it was really good!"

And then he's gone.

Dean starts a list of everyone with whom he needs to make amends. Emma's at the top of that list, so he always remembers how far he's come and can fall.

Castiel is the closest second.

Before Emma walked in on him with Max and Anna last year, Dean could sleep at night by telling himself he hadn't imposed on anyone or lied, cheated, or stolen. He told himself that he cleaned up his own messes and that he was just fine with death, closure, and a whole fuckin' bottle of Jack.

Then he broke his little girl's heart.

"Do you think you were trying to prove something to Castiel that day?" Billie asked.

"I think you know what I was doin'. Why don't you tell me what I was tryna prove?"

Billie was right as usual; Dean wanted to prove to Cas that he wasn't worthy of Cas's respect. Dean knew that kid was going to die if someone didn't go in there — and probably even if someone did — and he decided to be the kamikaze pilot because fuck everybody who still had faith in him; he wasn't worth their concern.

"The list!" Meg plops into a seat next to him with two cups of coffee. "Dean Bean, that list is hella long. You should pare it back for your first round."

She takes a sip of her coffee, handing him his as she peers over the rim of her cup.

Dean chuckles, shaking his head. "Every single person I think of makes my stomach hurt."

"Did you show it to Billie yet?" Meg slides her stocking feet into Dean's lap.

"Not yet. Meetin' with her in 10." He twists in his seat to accommodate her.

Meg nods. "Drink your coffee and keep me entertained ‘til you gotta go."

She burrows into her seat with an impish grin, and Dean smirks back as he sets to work, kneading her heels and thumbing the knotted muscles in her arches.

Four days after Jack, Meg is discharged. Pamela decides to stay beyond her discharge date for extra support from Billie and Cain.

After their morning hike, Meg and Pamela say their goodbyes, and Pamela heads to Billie's office to plan another family session for the coming weekend.

Dean waits with Meg for her sister Dani's arrival. Meg is keyed up and wide-eyed in the best way. Her fresh face is framed with braids on either side, compliments of Pamela, her sky blue backpack secured over her (Dean's) too-big hoodie, scuffed-up but neatly tied hiking boots, and softly worn jeans.

Dean thinks she looks like she's headed off to college with her entire life ahead of her, and he thinks that look is fitting as fuck.

"I put Dani's number in your phone; she still has a landline." Meg rolls her eyes as she absently twists the straps of her backpack.

Mere days before Meg was admitted to rehab, Dani inherited their childhood home and land after months of legal battles surrounding the farm. After she and Meg made amends, they planned to renovate the old farmhouse together. Meg told Dean how thankful she is to have the project to keep her on her toes, not to mention her adopted niece Kaia.

Meg's phone chimes with a text from Dani.

"She's just around the corner," Meg breathes, flicking her eyes to meet Dean's. "Three days?"

"You got it, sister." Dean pulls her in for a hug. "I'll be outta here, and we'll be 2.1 together. Right?"

"Right."

Last week, Dean and Meg realized that they had grown up less than 10 miles apart. There's not even one excuse Dean can think of to not continue their morning hikes and coffee at least once a week, and he can't wait to witness Meg's inevitable bloom outside this place.

He sees Dani pull up and releases Meg.

"Keep an eye on PB," Meg murmurs, pulling away and not quite meeting Dean's eyes.

Dean nods silently as Meg drops her gaze to her feet and shuffles toward the door.

"Goodbye, love!" Rowena calls from the lobby's catwalk, and Meg looks up with a wide grin and a wave.

"Take care, kiddo!" Gabe waves from beside Rowena, with Crowley lurking behind them both.

Dean wins Meg's gaze one last time before she finally climbs up inside her sister's Jeep.

"How are you feeling about everything, Dean?" Billie asks.

He's nervous and excited, a little bit scared but mostly hopeful. He's determined to make amends with people and looks forward to seeing his little girl outside therapy and hugging his niece and nephew.

"Good," Dean answers.

Dean doesn't fool himself into believing he can repair all of his faults in 28 days. His provisional relationship with Billie was hard-won. He respects her knowledge and advice, but he'll never be open enough with her to tell her everything.

"Good," she replies. "Don't forget — 90 meetings in 90 days. Look for a sponsor..."

Billie rattles off the rules that Dean used to consider common sense. After the last few weeks, though, Dean has realized how bogus the phrase common sense is because so many people walk around without knowledge that Dean's taken for granted since he can remember knowing anything. The fact that that phrase masquerades itself as a universal truth is kind of bullshit, in Dean's opinion.

"Yeah, I remember: how long have they been sober; are they full of shit; do I like them—"

"You know I have to say these things, right?" Billie smirks and arches a brow.

Dean chuckles and nods. "Am I stealin' your thunder?"

Billie actually laughs.

The night before he leaves, Dean does all his laundry except his pajamas and packs his bag. He leaves the bag on what was Jack's bed six days ago, denying the 47th urge to call the kid because he promised himself he wouldn’t call Jack before Jack called him.

In the dark of night, the emotions he accepted earlier at face value become garbled and daunting. He starts to see the edges of rational thought being peeled back by the demons lurking in his subconscious, slithering out to tell him that he's foolish and undeserving and will fail.

The sober experience of his darker cognition is fascinating and frightening. He takes a good chunk of time lying there, stunned to his core that he was ever blind enough to fall for this.

"Fuck off," he mutters as he rolls to his side. "I'm gettin' the fuck outta here and on with my life."

The next morning, Dean and Pamela go for a hike like usual. They have coffee, and she sits with him while he smokes.

"You gonna be OK?" he asks.

"What, without you and Megan, the 2.1 twins?"

Dean startles at Pamela's tone and arched brow.

He never meant for anyone, not even Crowley, to hear his and Meg's 2.1 mantras. It was never about their lack of faith in anyone else. It was always about their bond and shared need to hear it from the other one to get them through.

"You're not subtle, either of you," she drolls, shifting her gaze to the woods.

"PB..."

"It's fine, Dean." She peeks back at him. "And, yes, I'll be fine, too. Once I get my ground legs back and earn more trust from my mother-in-law."

"Sammy can help, ya know," Dean reminds her of when Sam visited and heard her case. He told Dean on the spot that he wanted to help her, and Dean wasted no time relaying the message and ensuring Pamela had Sam's phone number and email address.

"He can, legally, and I'll call him." Pamela nods, keeping her eyes on the wooded area just beyond the deck where she and Dean had just walked and laughed. "But Jesse's mom hasn't let me forget for one second how much she doesn't trust me."

Dean doesn't take his eyes off Pamela's trembling profile. "Then make her."

Pamela blinks and inhales a stuttering breath before glancing over at Dean with watery eyes. She sniffles as she accepts Dean's open, outstretched hand to squeeze.

"Thank you," she whispers, letting the tears fall. "I'm gonna miss you, ya little shit."

Dean laughs as he pulls her in for a hug.

At 12:25 PM, Pamela is seated on the desk, arching across the expanse to help Alex pick a dress for her sorority's spring formal, Rowena is explaining to Missouri the plot of the last murder mystery she starred in, and Gabriel is practically gnawing Dean's ear from the side of his head with small-talk.

"Gabe?"

"Yeah, man," Gabe turns to face Dean head-on, cracking his knuckles and bouncing on his toes.

"I'm gonna need you to dial back the Tigger impression by at least five clicks, OK, because I'd like to be somewhat chill when my kid gets here to pick me up."

"Oh! Right. Yes." Gabe salutes Dean before shoving his hands in his pockets and turning back to watch the door. He mutters chill to himself a couple of times before the familiar deep blue BMW rolls up in front of the door.

"Oh, my word, look at that," Rowena marvels as she and Pamela join Dean and Gabe at the door. "The wee lass is all grown up! Ye must be so proud, Dean."

Dean nods. Emma's a gift that he'll work the rest of his life to deserve getting, and he'll always be proud of her. But his heart fumbles over the fact that he missed the milestone of being the one to teach her to drive.

Lydia steps out of the passenger side, waving from the curb.

"Well, go on," Pamela encourages Dean. "Get out there and show 'em what you're made of, Daddy."

Dean's heart swells to near bursting as he hugs everyone goodbye, including Missouri and Alex.

"You take good care of yourself, Dean Winchester," Missouri says with a kind Missouri smile.

"Yes, ma'am," he nods before scanning the faces of his friends and walking out the door into his future.

"How's the Casbah sound?" Lydia asks from the back seat.

Dean loves the Casbah, and Lydia knows that, but he can't answer her; he's too busy watching his baby girl drive a fucking car.

Lydia shifts forward as Emma signals, checks her mirrors, and carefully changes lanes.

"Pretty wild, huh?" she mutters over Dean's shoulder. "Just yesterday, you were teaching her to ride a bike."

Dean huffs a small chuckle and nods his head. "Straight from a trike to a two-wheeler. No trainin’ wheels for my girl."

Emma rolls her eyes over a blush and a sheepish grin. "So. Casbah?"

"Casbah," Dean confirms with a grin of his own, turning his shaded gaze toward the horizon.

"Hi," he starts, glancing around a circle of people of all ages and walks of life. "I'm... Dean. And I'm an alcoholic and addict."

"Hi, Dean," from the crowd.

Dean nods and draws a deep breath, struggling to keep his head up and maintain eye contact with each person. Ugly fears and insecurities threaten his spirit, but he shoos them away.

"I'm 28 days sober, and I feel... good. Went to dinner with my little girl tonight. She and her mom're waitin' for me down the street at the ice cream place."

The strangers in the circle fidget, mumble, and nod. The tension he feels is all about himself and his inability to just blend the fuck in. He knew doing this all over again with a new group of people would be hard. Then, his eyes land on a burly, bearded guy with clear blue eyes and an encouraging smile. He holds the man’s gaze like it’s a life raft.

“I’ve only been out a few hours, so I still have to call and apologize to everyone for fuckin’ up so bad.”

The man nods, shifting forward in interest. The kind of attention the man is giving him might make him feel like a bug under a microscope under other circumstances, but the man’s earnest compassion and engagement serve to embolden Dean.

“The first call’s the biggest, but they’ll all be tough. My buddy — my best friend and former boss — that’s kinda the eye of the storm. I think if I call him first, that’ll help me get through the others.”

It feels good to think out loud and strategize, knowing his audience has been there and done that. Dean’s especially keen to learn where his potential new friend has been.

After the meeting is done, Dean makes his way over to the man in question. There are two other people trying to talk to him, and Dean starts to worry that he’s one of those guys Billie told him about who accepts everyone’s sponsorship request for status or whatever.

“...I know someone I think’ll be a good fit f’you, Sorento. Lemme reach out and see when he might could grab a cuppa coffee.”

“Thanks, Benny. Never thought my sponsor’d fall off the wagon, ya know?”

“I hear ya, brother, and I’m sorry. You take care, and I’ll get right back, ya hear?”

The taller, darker-skinned man nods before backing away, and the other person Dean thought was waiting to talk to Benny follows.

“Hey, Dean.” Benny smiles, extending a hand. “I’m Benny. Glad you could make it tonight.”

Dean nods, accepting Benny’s hand and shaking it. “Thanks, man. I appreciate your support.”

“You’ve got it, brother.”

They chat about the ins and outs of meetings and sobriety for a few minutes until Dean realizes that Emma and Lydia are still waiting for him.

“Well, I gotta go catch up with my daughter, but uh... thanks again.”

Dean shifts his weight, having flashbacks to his teen years and the first time he asked someone out on a date.

“But I was wonderin’ if you were a sponsor to anyone else? Or... if you had room for one more?”

Benny smiles wide and bright. “It’d be an honor, Dean. What’s your number?”

On his first full day outside, at 9 AM, Dean starts dialing numbers.

"Hey, Cas," he pauses to cringe at the tremor in his too-eager voice. "It's uh... it's Dean."

There's a split second of silence, and Dean almost hangs up.

"I know, Dean. I have your contact in my phone with a picture of you and Claire from Thanksgiving."

The memory of that day is bittersweet to Dean for a dozen reasons, not the least of which was Claire's mental health at the time. She'd run away from home less than a week after her mom lost her months-long battle with ovarian cancer. Cas had just gotten Claire back and decided to have a small gathering at their home to celebrate her return.

Claire didn't feel like celebrating.

"He just doesn't understand," Claire whispered through the tears that Dean worked overtime to wipe away.

"Maybe he doesn't understand exactly how you feel, honey, but he does love you."

"Does he even miss her?" Her trembling lip broke Dean's heart all over again.

"I know he misses her. He loved your mom, Claire. So much."

"He's so... happy."

Dean nodded. "Yeah. 'Coz you're home. You're his little girl and his only family. Try to understand that."

"Dean? Are you— are you there?"

Dean jolts from his reverie and shrugs off Cas's matter-of-fact mention of that day lest it gives his demons the upper hand again.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm here. I'm calling..." Dean takes a deep breath and looks out his kitchen window to watch a couple of squirrels chasing each other through the parking lot.

"Cas, I'm sorry. You're my best friend, and I love and respect you, but I defied your order and endangered the team. I broke at least four laws that day and put you and the department under scrutiny 'coz of my own fucked up mess. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure out that I could help myself and that I'm worth helping, and to stop hurting other people."

Cas is quiet for longer this time. Dean yearns to fill the silence or turn back time or run away and hide. Instead, he breathes through it and waits for whatever response Cas gives him because this is sobriety.

"You made it.” Cas’s tone is full of pride and satisfaction.

Dean anticipated 17 scenarios, but this takes him off-guard. Before he can ask what he means, Cas fills in the blank.

"I read about rehab and the likelihood of people making it through their prescribed programs. The statistics are 30%—"

"Yeah, and my group was only seven people, so 30% is 2.1." Dean can't help but chuckle. Cas doesn't know about his and Meg’s joke, but it doesn't matter because Cas is family, and family just gets it.

"Well, apart from the impossibility of the existence of .1 of a human being, it's good to hear your voice, Dean. I missed you."

Dean smiles so wide his face hurts. "Missed you too, man. How's Claire?"

Through Cas's heavy sigh, Dean can hear the smile in his voice. "Claire is Claire. She missed you as well. Once you're settled, we want you to come over for dinner."

Cas doesn't rebuke Dean. He doesn't rehash the past. He doesn't tell Dean he can't come back to work — because Cas knows that Dean already knows all of that, and neither of them has time for anything but catching up and reconnecting.

"I'd love it," Dean replies. "Thank you. For accepting my apology and letting me say what I needed."

"Always. I knew you'd make it and that our relationship would endure another shift. We will always be friends, Dean."

After his call with Cas, Dean calls Bobby and Ellen. They're less gracious than Cas with their acceptance, which doesn't surprise Dean.

"You were supposed to protect your team, Dean, not put them in danger!"

Dean doesn’t argue, and he doesn’t make excuses. He listens to Ellen yell and damn him to Hell until she’s crying so hard that Bobby takes the phone away from her.

As Ellen’s sobs fade in the distance, Bobby speaks. “How you holdin’ up, boy?”

“I’m good, Bobby. Thanks for takin’ my call.”

“Never wouldn’t,” Bobby answers. “Stay strong, kid. We both love ya; she just needs some time.”

“I love you, too, Bobby — both of ya.”

Jo flat-out blocks his call. Her resistance surprises him even less than her mother’s ire. He won’t give up on Jo, no matter how hard she makes it for him. He knows deep down that she hasn’t given up on him either.

Casey’s gasp is her answer.

“Case.”

“You OK?”

“I am. Now.”

He lets the memories of her soft, dark eyes and gentle, capable hands loving him more than he could bear carry him through the call.

“I’m sorry, Case. I hurt you so many times, and I never made it easy to be with me. You’re a beautiful, beautiful woman, whip fuckin’ smart, and so good.”

“We’ve been over this, Dean...”

Dean doesn’t cut in where she’s left a vacancy. He won’t take advantage of her anymore. He waits for her to pick up her thoughts. He wants her to say what she means.

And she does.

“Dean, I... I’ll never regret you or resent you.”

After a moment.

“Thank you,” she whispers, and Dean knows she’s crying.

He calls Victor, Nick, and Zeke, each awkward, compulsory, and hostile, respectively, but being uncomfortable is Dean’s new normal. And, for some reason, he kind of digs it. So, he’ll continue to make amends, no matter how it makes him feel.

After a week outside, Dean and Meg finally find a hiking trail they like and a coffee place they love before hitting the Lowe's Garden Center.

“Is this a joke?” Meg pokes at the limp lavender plant with indignation. “I can’t even believe they have this out for sale.”

“What do you care? We’re not here for lavender.”

Dean wanders a few paces down the aisle. He’s never tended a plant in his life, so he researched and decided on a spider plant to start.

“Maybe I’m here for lavender.” Meg continues to inspect the small section of drooping topiaries.

Dean stops and glares at her over his shoulder. “You told me you wanted a buncha succulents. You said you wanted a ‘cool little terrarium’ or some shit.”

“Maybe I decided to also get lavender.” Meg shrugs, lifting one of the pathetic florals.

“Now that you’ve seen the stellar selection of lavender?” Dean arches a brow.

“Maybe I want a challenge,” she mutters, squatting with one plant to compare it to another.

“Maybe, maybe, maybe...” Dean rolls his eyes and turns smack into Castiel.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas!” Dean takes a step back, gripping Cas’s shoulders. He can’t believe his luck at seeing him while he’s with Meg.

“Hey, this is my friend, Meg.”

He motions to Meg, who is now sitting cross-legged on the ground with three dead plants in front of her.

“Meg..." Dean snaps her to attention. "This is Cas.”

Meg blinks up at the men from where she sits on the ground.

“Well. Hello, Cas.”

She abandons her brief fascination to stand up and swipe her jeans and hands clean before shaking Castiel’s hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

The fire chief looks adorably confused as usual, as he takes her hand in his. “And I have heard nothing about you.”

Meg side-eyes Dean, and he almost laughs out loud. She’ll drag him later for not telling Castiel about her, but the only reason he didn’t was to let her show him herself.

“Whatcha here for, Cas?” Dean watches his friends reluctantly release each other’s grip.

“Tomato plants and strawberry plants. You know how much sun our side patio gets.”

Dean nods. Before he can reply, his phone buzzes with a text. It’s the notification he set for Pamela, and his gaze darts to Meg, who’s pulling her own phone from her back pocket.

“Hang on, Cas — got a message I need to look at.” Dean pulls his phone from his pocket. When he looks down, his world tilts.

Jack’s back.

“Fuck,” Dean mutters with a sigh before snagging Meg’s worried gaze.

“I take it you’ve received bad news?” Cas asks.

“Well, it ain’t good,” Dean replies, pocketing his phone. “Dinner Thursday?”

“Yes. Claire wants dumplings. I’ve had two failed trial runs making them, so it could be an... interesting meal.”

Meg snorts at Dean’s side, drawing his attention. “Cas’s a terrible cook.”

“No shit?” Meg exaggerates with her hands on her hips.

“I need to go — get the plants and ingredients for tonight’s test.”

Meg stifles a cackle, and Dean hip-checks her. “OK, well, lemme know if I can help with the dumplings, Cas.”

They say their goodbyes, and barely before Castiel is out of earshot, Meg starts in.

"You didn't tell me your 'weird little friend Cas' was hot, Dean."

Dean chuckles and rolls his eyes. "I thought it was implied when I said you'd like him, Megan. Just gather your sad little flowers so we can go."

“Meh, I want succulents.”

Dean spends the entire rest day bashing himself for waiting to call Jack. He wanted to give the kid space. He wanted to respect him, and... fuck, he can’t save everyone.

He calls Benny so he doesn’t drag Meg down his rabbit hole.

“Whaddaya want outta this, Dean? To call the kid and gloat?” Benny asks.

Dean cringes. “Is that what it sounds like?”

“Little bit.”

“Man, I’m not tryna be a martyr here; he’s a kid!” Dean really believes what he’s saying just as much as he tries to see what Benny sees.

“He’s a kid, but he ain’t yours, and he ain’t you. Remember your boundaries and your goals.”

Benny’s right, and Dean’s reminded of why he chose him to be his sponsor.

“Thanks, Benny. Thanks for takin’ my call, and thanks for being a great sponsor.”

That night, Dean stumbles across something online that stuns him for a second. It’s labeled as Cute Gryphon Sparkle Meme. It’s a greyscale drawing of a cartoon gryphon with a sort of paint-by-number chart of how to color it based on your own interpretation of the instructions like “the color that best describes ‘cute’” and “the color that first comes to your head”.

Dean shares the link with Jack, hoping he gets his phone back soon so he can appreciate just how cute it is.

One month, eight hikes with Meg, and three trips to the garden center for more plants (because Dean has now decided that he fucking loves plants) later, a familiar, feminine voice jolts Dean from his reverie in the produce section.

“Dean?”

He turns from where he’s filling his hand cart with all he needs for the guacamole he’s bringing to Sam and Jess’s tomorrow to find Tessa Porter.

“Tessa!” Dean smiles easily at her smile and how she moves closer to him without hesitation.

She’s fresh-faced, her hair’s in a ponytail, and she’s wearing workout clothes. Dean drops three good-sized avocados into his basket and turns his back on the vegetables to focus on the woman facing him.

“You look great, Dean. How’ve you been?”

“Thanks! You just come from the gym? You look great, too. Not at all like you just worked out or anything, but fit. Like healthy. And glowing.”

He bites his tongue to stop from shoving his foot down his gullet.

Tessa grins and chuckles quietly, peeking into his basket. “Yoga class. Making some guac?”

Dean draws a breath and nods, looking down at his ingredients. “Yeah. My brother requested it for a cookout tomorrow. He says I make the best guac in three counties.”

Tessa tilts her head and purses her lips. “Hmm. I’ll have to try it sometime.”

She snags Dean’s gaze, and he’s suddenly out of breath.

Does she know what he did? Is she hitting on him? Have her eyes always been that color?

“Yeah. I’d uh... I’d like to make it for you sometime.”

Dean swears her irises change color as they stand there — honey to jade to turquoise to cerulean.

After a few beats, Tessa raises her eyebrows. “Are you going to ask me for my number?”

Dean blinks then chuckles, shaking his head. “I gotta ask somethin' else first — you know about rehab, right?”

Tessa nods. “I know. And I know you aren’t supposed to date right away, but... I’d like to be friends. If that’s OK? I’ve missed seeing you around, Dean.”

“Friends,” he echoes skeptically.

He and Tessa never discussed dating before because it would have been against department policy, but that didn’t stop him from flirting with her every chance he had. Still, they had a genuine connection — which is the real reason, even in Dean’s most reckless state, that he never crossed a line with her.

Tessa nods again. “For now — friends. Think you can handle that?”

Dean holds her soft, kaleidoscope gaze for a moment before shifting his basket to his other arm and reaching into his pocket for his phone.

“Here.” He hands his unlocked phone to Tessa. “I would very much like it if you’d add yourself to my contacts so I can call ya sometime.”

Tessa grins again as she accepts the proffered device to quickly input her name and number. She flicks her eyes to his again as she hands him back his phone.

“I look forward to hearing from you. See you soon, Dean.”

Tessa looks him up and down before turning on her heel and sauntering away.

Dean’s eyes drop to the sway of her hips, and he shakes his head.

“Hate sayin’ g’bye but love watchin’ her walk away,” he mutters under his breath with a hearty chuckle before heading to the aisle with chips and crackers, stifling the urge to Leprechaun kick next to the bananas.

Fifty-eight days sober feels pretty damn good.

Epilogue: coming soon

Please let me know what you think!

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