#jonah oh sweetie

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Headcanons for Mark, Jonah, and Adam and an S/O who has a bunch of vita carnis Mimics as "helpers."

What would the three of them think of someone who can somehow "tame" these things and just keeps them around as house pets? They just hang out in their home and on their little plot of land (that I'd imagine is isolated because people moved tf away when the rumors started spreading) and keep any threats away. Reader doesn't actively do anything to sate their diet though. Although they aren't opposed to the Mimics stomping out any would-be troublemakers or those who piss them off... They still get their food themselves but use reader's home as a place of refuge.

Maybe the way the three of them meet their S/O was finding out that Alternates were being warded off from there. Idk, I haven't had a chance to get fully invested in MC but the idea just sounds really interesting. Also, I have the mental image of a Mimic putting away the dishes and someone's immediate reaction is screaming "What the FUCK is that?!?!" And just getting this whole explanation of what it is and that this one and all the others are friendly despite it needing to be reminded that the human in front of them is not food.

I LOVE that mental image you described. Mimics just doing chores and human things, only to see an actual human look at them absolutely HORRIFIED

........

Mark

He was relieved to get away from the Alternate-populated Mandela County for a while.

But when you answer the door while preparing dinner, you called out for James (one of the male Mimics you named) to stay in the kitchen...

Without realizing how extremely suspicious that sounded until you saw the look on Mark's face. "Who's James?"

"Oh! He's uh...can you wait here while I-?"

"Is he your new roommate or something?" He jumps to conclusions immediately, thinking you're cheating on him as you never told him you lived with another person.

In anger he storms past you to confront this "James" you were apparently being so secretive about....

Before you could stop him, he sees the Mimic and freaks out, causing it to drop the plate it was holding and screams right back at him.

You're quick to disperse the situation before it becomes a bloodbath, but by then it's too late. Mark was thoroughly traumatized.

When you mentioned living with creatures who kept the local Alternate population out of your town..he didn't think they'd be be skinless humans.

He locked himself in your bathroom, trying to stave off a panic attack as he recites his prayers, convinced there was "evil" hanging over your house.

Eventually he lets you in and you help him calm down, reassuring him that wasn't the case at all before explaining the Mimics and their role in your household, answering whatever questions he had (which were a LOT).

"Even if they're not demons....why would God make something like that?"

"Maybe..it's the same reason he made the platypus."

"......that's not the same, s/o."

"I know, I'm just trying to help."

Jonah

He's made jokes about the Mimics before.

But he didn't think they were real living and breathing creatures you were coexisting with.

He swears he was smoking something when he saw one wearing your clothes and sweeping the floor with a broom like any ordinary person would.

At first he tries to be chill about it as to not freak you out..

Until he goes into your pantry for a snack and finds shelves with jars filled to the brim with Crawl sticks.

As well as a Mimic curled up on the highest shelf, asleep.

Next thing you know, Jonah's dry heaving over the nearest trash can.

"Babe for the love of GOD please tell me that I'm on some weird ass trip because I can't handle this rn"

"...well maybe if you didn't brush off my research, you wouldn't be as scared." You pat his back before glaring at the Mimic who was just seconds away from lunging at your boyfriend at his most vulnerable moment.

"Jonah, sweetie..rule number one is to never turn your back on a Mimic unless you're running away from it." You make him turn around to face it, and they stare at each other before it eventually calms down and leaves.

Even after you explained how you "tamed" the Mimics, he's too scared to leave your side or be alone in the same room with one.

Their permanent smiles and wide eyes just...give him the chills. Even if they're just staring with curiosity, he always insists it's a look of hunger.

They are aware he's dating you and will playfully threaten to eat him, but never actually go through with it bc you'd probably kick them out and leave them without food.

Adam

(gonna make this post-Catalyst)

He's having a tough time keeping the relationship alive and coping with being an Alternate--a secret he only recently shared with you.

Despite him being the first one you've ever encountered, you're not all that afraid. Just surprised.

You confess to having your own secret to share, taking him to your home where you could talk about it more.

He keeps asking how you could trust him with anything when he looked like a hideous monster. But you reassured him he'll understand soon enough.

After you arrive, he sees the Crawl trees behind your house, but thinks nothing of it until you bring him inside.

You whistle and a Baby Mimic comes skittering towards you on all fours, climbing onto you like a koala bear before you turn back to your boyfriend, smiling.

It takes him a second to connect the dots. "....wait, that's a....Vita Carnis...i-it's a real thing??"

"They've always have been."

"Wow, this is...one hell of a secret. D-Does..that Mimic know what I am?"

"The adults can usually tell, but this little bugger thinks you're tasty food." You scratch the baby Mimic's chin, hearing it coo sweetly as it nibbled on your jacket strings. "But you see why I'm not scared of you? Because I've made peace with these "hideous monsters", just like I've made peace with what you told me."

He tears up at your sweet and kind words, though he listens as you introduce him to the "helpers" of your household aka the adult Mimics who wore your clothing and were doing different tasks.

They all kinda stared at Adam as he awkwardly greeted them, but didn't do anything more.

It's strangely comforting that they perceive him as a human.

At the same time, he feels lucky to not look appetizing to them.

#kinda came out of the left field with sudden adam angst but hhshfg #clanask #anonymous #mandela catalogue x reader #tmc x reader #vita carnis x reader #mark heathcliff #mark heathcliff x reader #jonah marshall #jonah marshall x reader #adam murray #adam murray x reader #crossover #vita carnis au #meat farm au #headcanons

[five-rivers]

Life's Great Lie 17

AO3

.

“Oh, thank God,” said Tony, “Bruce is here.”  All the other green, angry looking people were secondary, as far as he was concerned.  Having the Hulk on hand meant that he didn’t have to play Jonah again.  That had been.  Unpleasant.

A dart of red broke off the crowd of ghosts and angled towards Tony.  Valerie Gray.  And Bruce, too.  As Bruce. 

“Where do you want us?” shouted Valerie. 

“Take your pick!” shouted Tony, even as he lined up more shots.  He was going to be running out of all but the special anti-ghost ordinance soon.  “But—Bruce, you’re going to have to suit up.”

“Of course,” said Bruce, rubbing his face.  “Yeah.  Okay.  You would call it that.  Miss Gray, if you could take me up towards one of those…  big things…”  He gestured vaguely at the space whales.

“Cool!” said Tony, giving them a thumbs up.  “Now, all we need to do is get a shield around the portals, and we can roll up the streets.  No problem!”

“Sir,” said Jarvis.  “You may want to look at the Ops Center.”

What was going on now?  He turned and watched the shield around the airship flicker once, twice, and then go out completely.  The chitauri, who apparently were smart enough to smell blood in the water, regardless of any other tactical deficiencies, changed direction. 

“Well, that’s not good.  Anyone want to fill me in on what’s going wrong?”

“Well,” started Jasmine Fenton. 

.

“What happened to the thing being self-sustaining?” demanded Natasha as she punched out another mercenary.  Where had Loki even found these guys?  They weren’t even mind controlled.  Who in their right mind signed up to fight for the aliens in a literal alien invasion?

“Listen,” said Maddie Fenton, a little testily, “we quite literally built it on the fly.  It isn’t operating at peak theoretical efficiency, but it’s a testament to Jack’s engineering skills that we got it to work at all, much less while also trying to come up with a workable solution for the shields.  Be glad we have enough power to keep the portal open, even.”

“Forget the shields,” interrupted Tucker, his voice crackling slightly.  The Fentons’ communicators weren’t bad, and apparently they worked through the ‘spectral noise’ associated with ghosts, but they left something to be desired in comparison to the crystal-clear communications Natasha had gotten used to while working for SHIELD.  “Well, no, don’t forget them, forget them, we might still be able to—I’ve got— What’s your name again, dude? —I’ve got Selvig up here, and he says that if we can get Loki’s staff, we can shut down his portal.”

“Great!” shouted Steve.  “Anyone have eyes on Loki?”

.

The answer to that was, of course, a resounding no. 

.

“Oi, Tucker, you want to run by that thought you had about the shields again?”

Under other circumstances, Tucker might have been over the moon.  Tony Stark, asking him about something technical!  It was like a dream come true! 

But between the mind control, the alien invasion, and whatever was going on with SHIELD and HYDRA, Tucker’s enthusiasm for anything was pretty much nil.  So. 

“Uh,” said Tucker.  He and Selvig were standing in front of Loki’s portal device.  Well.  Tucker was sort of crouching, and Selvig was… sprawled.  That couldn’t be a good position for a guy that old, but whatever.  “So, Loki got the startup power for this thing from the, uh, the tower’s arc reactor, right?  So, it’s still plugged in.  The connection is live, and it looks like he used standard connectors.  Not, you know, a twelve-gauge extension cord, but Earth-made.  I think maybe we can use it to charge up the shields and use one here as the centerpiece – the power source – instead of the one in the Ops Center.  If it’s, like compatible.  Is that a thing we can do?  Mrs. Fenton?”

“Well, it isn’t impossible,”she said.  “But those portable shield relays – they weren’t made as independent shield generators, and for them to run on something other than ectoplasm – Jack, sweetie, do we still have those blueprints? – Thanks.  Alright, Tucker, you’ll have to make significant adjustments to the shield relay, probably even cannibalize one of them.  Are you able to do that?”

“Well,” said Tucker.  “Maybe?  I’ve got a lipstick laser and…”  He looked over his shoulder.   “Selvig.  Sort of.  But if it’s anything more complicated than rewiring the Speeder’s main gun to fire from the backseat window console, I’m going to need a bunch of tools and a science guy who isn’t dead on his feet.  No offense.”

Selvig waved him off. 

“You’re the one who—?  Never mind.  It is more complicated.  Quite a bit more complicated.”

“I’ll also need, you know, the generators.  Relays?”

“I’m still on my way,” said Romanov.  She sounded… upset.

“And so am I,” said Iron Man.  “Kid, I’ve got all sorts of tools in my apartment.  And dummy, too.”

Okay.  Cool.  Also, what did dummies have to do with anything?  Was that rich people code for something?

“Okay, want to give me directions, or am I supposed to just start pulling out drawers?”

.

“Hey!  Where’re you going?”

“You need more cover,” said Sam.  “This is what I have the jetpack for, remember?  Arrow boy isn’t going to get all of them, and they do have ranged weapons.”

It was true, one well-aimed shot through the Ops Center envelope could send the whole thing down.  They weren’t using hydrogen gas, of course, but an ectoplasm-nitrogen mix, so there was no danger of becoming Hindenburg Mk II, unless the aliens’ energy weapons reacted really badly with ectoplasm, but there hadn’t been any evidence of that yet, so…

Anyway, it didn’t matter.  Jazz was too busy keeping the Ops Center and the portal steady to do much else. 

“Be careful,” she said. 

“Can’t make any promises!”

.

Fury was having a bad day.  A really, monumentally, bad day.  One that was part of an already awful week but still managed to go above and beyond in terms of how completely awful it was. 

Primarily, he blamed HYDRA.  They were very easy to blame and were, in his opinion, responsible for at least seventy percent of the metric ton of crap he was currently wading through. 

But then, then he got a call. 

The call. 

Which meant that he had to take this boat riddled with snakes to fight off an alien invasion over New York.  Peachy. 

If ever he’d been tempted to give old friends a call…  But he wouldn’t.  Not yet. 

“Sir,” said Coulson, joining him smoothly as he walked down the hallway toward the main bridge. 

“What’d you find?”

“We have problems, sir.  Using the head start we were given, I’ve found no less than seventy problem areas on this ship… and some indications that the World Security Council may have similar issues.  We also have to assume there are unseen variables at play.”

Fury did not miss a step.  Benefit of being a cynical bastard.  The WSC was a shock, and a disaster on multiple levels, but the other number was… livable.  “Are there any particular personnel involved in these problems?”

“STRIKE teams seem to have an unusually high number of incidents.  Upwards of ninety percent.”

Fury strode onto the bridge.  “Tell the STRIKE teams to prepare to mobilize and pilots to scramble.”  Uriah gambits were unpleasant… but if he could kill two birds with one stone, he would, and he wouldn’t feel bad about it.  “What kind of air power are we looking at?”

“Significant,” said a comm. tech who was flipping through different news programs.  “They seem to have biologically based technology of some kind, weaponry is mainly energy-based, propulsion… unclear.”

Wonderful.  Fury scanned the other screens, trying to get a better picture of what, exactly, was happening in New York.  What tactics the enemy was using, what numbers they had, what resistance had been put up so far and by whom. 

“Sir,” said Agent Hill.  “The council is on.”

The council.  The same one Coulson had just told him was infiltrated by HYDRA.  The same one that would probably find a way to make their present situation all the more untenable and Fury’s day infinitely worse. 

It was a pity he couldn’t ignore them. 

“Put them on.”

.

Pandora hissed at the sting of the enemies’ weapons.  They were not ectoblasts, no, but there was the taste of something like magic to them, and energy was energy.  Still, they were not enough to damage her unduly, although they might prove troublesome, dangerously so, for the weaker ghosts of their force. 

But that was the nature of war.  Few battles were won without bloodshed. 

Her warriors should otherwise be a match for the chitauri.  The chitauri had numbers, doubtlessly, but her warriors had experience.  And once Frostbite and Dorathea lead their forces onto the battlefield, well… She could not estimate the number of enemies.  She had been told that they came from the stars, and those lands were numerous to the point of being innumerable.  Even so, there was a limit to passage through a choke point, and even the stars themselves may not turn things in the favor of a commander caught in one, no matter their numbers. 

But the ghosts, too, must pass through a portal.  Pandora eyed the slight waver in the portal’s outline with disfavor.  She was no expert in such matters, but many years of existence had given her some intuition for how portals should behave.  This one was stable enough, but not for long. 

All the more reason to resolve things quickly. 

“Hunter,” she said. 

“What?” snapped the mechanical man, the burnished plates of his armor flashing in the Sun. 

“Your task.  Find Phantom.  Free him from whatever compulsion he is under.”  Although Phantom still had much to learn, he was undeniably powerful.  Returning him to his proper allegiance would

Skulker looked away from the beast he was dismembering with some reluctance.  “Fine.  Dog.  Come here.”

The dog ignored him.  As it was Phantom’s, and Skulker hadn’t made the effort to learn its name, that was really no surprise.  Still, Skulker gestured at it.  It, in turn, bounded away, yipping.

“Are you, or are you not, the greatest hunter in the Infinite Realms?  Find him with or without the dog.”

Skulker grumbled but flew off.  Good. 

Pandora manifested a joint in her neck just long enough to crack it and drummed her fingers on the lid of her box.  It had been too long, far too long, since she had engaged in a proper battle against evil, and the more vicious of the leviathans flying through the air looked like they would, at least, give her a challenge. 

.

Thor had become more open-minded since his short stay on Earth, with Dr. Selvig, Darcy, and… Dr. Jane Foster.  Truly.  But he had to admit, these ghosts were unnerving.  Too similar by far to the draugr that had ofttimes haunted the stories of bards – the ones that made his father glare and try to shoo away both Thor and Loki. 

He had to find his brother.  Soon.  With all that had happened, with how, exactly, Loki had behaved, he believed, truly believed Daniel Fenton’s assertion Loki was being controlled, somehow. 

It was a foul thing, to put such a geas on a prince of Asgard…  Although, to be fair, putting a geas on anyone was foul.  It just seemed especially foul to Thor, that someone should do it to his brother. 

Loki had, perhaps, never been quite so good as one might hope, but he had always been… himself, as vague as that description was.  Even when he’d been consumed by madness, letting jotnar into Asgard, sending the Destroyer after people on Earth, he had still been himself.

Thor did not like this new version of Loki, who was very much…  It was like seeing his brother through a warped pane of glass, or in a reflection.  In fact, he liked it so little that he couldn’t even enjoy the utter destruction he was wrecking on the chitauri, lightning, head-crushing, and all.  Not that he had been enjoying combat quite as much as he once did in general.

The price of being worthy, he presumed. 

Alas. 

A bright green flying dog whipped past him at speed, heading towards the tower.  He narrowed his eyes at it.  Most of the ghosts had stayed concentrated around the portals.  What cause had this one to stray?

But he could not go investigate.  He could still hear the screams of the civilians cornered in the buildings nearby.  He would not leave them to fend for themselves until he had cleared this street. 

.

Danny and Loki would both have preferred to use the elevators.  Unfortunately, significant parts of the main upper elevator shaft had been repurposed for extension-cable-from-hell-powering-up-a-doomsday-device purposes, and no one wanted to mess with that, and the military-type guys they still had with them recommended shutting them off from a tactical perspective of ‘there’s more of them then there are of us, and we don’t want to guard them all.’  So.  No elevators. 

Danny could have just dropped them through the floor instead, but Loki seemed concerned about the effect serially dropping through floors had on Danny. 

Or, well, the effect that the effect it had on Danny was having on him, in any case. 

“I refuse to get stuck in a ceiling again.  I am a god.  I am to be treated with some degree of gravitas.”

“It was one time.  You should’ve seen what I was like when I first got my powers.”

“And how long ago was that?”

“Year and a half ago, about.”

Anyway, they were taking the stairs.  Danny wasn’t really upset about it, because it gave him more time to be annoying.  Right now, he was in the midst of a recital of all the ‘annoying younger sibling’ noises he had ever made.  Right now, he was working on ‘long drawn out sighs,’ which had really been a hit with Jazz, when he’d been eight.  Which was to say, she hated them.  A lot. 

And Loki didn’t seem to a have a lot of tolerance, either. 

“What,” he snapped, “are you doing?”

“Nothing,” said Danny, enjoying the way Loki’s face pinched up, as if he were searching for a way to order him to stop without really screwing up his other orders…

… speaking of which, could Danny have interpreted ‘get me out of here’ to mean ‘get me out of New York?’  Maybe.  But at this point, there were plenty of reasons to want them both in New York, including-- 

Danny’s train of thought derailed as he noticed the sound of footsteps echoing up the stairwell.  He looked down and then threw himself backwards as a redheaded woman – Romanov – brought a gun to bear on him.  She fired, twice, in quick succession.  Wow.  Rude.  And pretty brutal, too, but then again, New York was being invaded by aliens.  And she knew about his powers. 

(Hecking Fury, telling people about his powers.)

Although, considering trajectories… no, he was too sleep deprived to consider trajectories. 

He grabbed Loki’s arm, intending to drop them through the floor. 

“No, wait,” said Loki.  “Let’s see what the Widow wants.”  There was a malicious, almost cruel, edge to his voice, but there was a hollowness underneath it.  He did want to see why Black Widow, Natasha Romanov, was here, but the tone, the phrasing, was just to rile her up. 

Or to appear as if he wanted to rile her up.  Danny hadn’t listened to all the things Barton and Loki had discussed – too busy freaking out about the whole situation vis a vis mind control and alien invasions – but he hadn’t gotten the impression she was all that easy to rile up. 

But Danny had his orders.  And he still had to defend Loki.  Ice began to spread out from under his feet.  It was a bit sluggish, but it would give him the terrain advantage as far as maneuvers went.  The Widow kicked open the door on her landing and rolled out, into the floor beyond, staying more or less out of direct line of fire for both Danny and Loki. 

“I have eyes on Loki,” she said, out loud. 

.

“Crap,” said Tony, tossing the box to the Foley kid.  “Sorry, got to go, but hey!”  He was already heading for the edge of the roof.  “Maybe we won’t even need that if we do this right!”

.

Black Widow definitely been looking for them, which wasn’t surprising, but what was she carrying?  The bag was bulky and angular.  A weapon?  If so, why hadn’t she used it? 

Loki stepped out past Danny but stayed well within Danny’s ability to grab – or drop through the floor, if necessary.  Making the floor intangible instead was a valid strategy. 

“What is it you want, Widow?  Natasha Romanov?”

Romanov, meanwhile, had disappeared, almost as thoroughly as Danny could.  He tilted his head to one side, listening.  This floor, it seemed, had been imagined as semi-open lab space.  There were long work benches, empty places for equipment, some kind of robotic arm in the ceiling, and a cart full of plastic-wrapped computers, monitors and towers together. 

It was kind of cool.  There were a lot of places to hide. 

“Is this… revenge?  For Barton?”  Loki’s smile was sharp.  “He told me much about you, and I suppose Stark mentioned avenging this place.”  Two false images split off from Loki to prowl among the lab tables.  “It suits you better than it does him.  But don’t you think it somewhat… hypocritical?”

.

“Okay, Romanov, here’s how it is.  Loki likes illusions?  Let’s give him an illusion.”

.

Danny saw a flash of red out of the corner of his eye and angled himself to intercept, but no attack came. 

“After all… you’ve done so much… so much that others would be more than justified retaliating for, don’t you think?  All those regime changes, shall we call them?  And Barton’s no better, really.”  He hummed.  “The things you two did together.  Drakov’s daughter?  Sāo Paulo?  The hospital fire?  And you think taking vengeance on me will change anything?  You think it will make you some sort of hero?  Give you peace?  When you—”

One of the doors flew open, revealing Iron Man.  Who plowed through one fake Loki (Faki?  Fauki?  Fauxki?  Meh, he’d workshop it.) and swerved to shoot one of his repulsors at another.  Romanov popped up from behind a table and threw something at the feet of the real Loki, who crushed it with his heel, ignoring the sparks of electricity that flew up off of it. 

Danny batted Romanov back with a shield, straight into the cart of computers, which fell down on her.  Ouch.  But she’d be able to get back up and into the fight.  The important thing was that, right now, she wasn’t an immediate threat, which meant he could ignore her. 

Give her time. 

If she hadn’t wanted something, she would have run, kept hiding.  Just these few minutes – She was a shield agent, sure, but she had to have some kind of specialty in—

Anti-ghost missiles were a lot harder to avoid in such a small place, especially when distracted.  Danny hissed as one impacted his shoulder and splattered green all over his shirt, but he caught the next, and threw it back at Iron Man.  He tried to phase off the green goo, but it wouldn’t go.  It had to be some of that phase-proof stuff his parents had been working on.  Nasty stuff. 

Although, he had to be grateful it had only given him a bruise and hadn’t been mixed with something that would melt him.  It gave him hope for his future relationship with his parents. 

In the meantime, it definitely limited his options regarding protecting Loki and just removing themselves from the situation without getting into more destructive behavior. 

He hoped Iron Man knew what he was doing… for everyone’s sake. 

The missile exploded right in front of Iron Man’s mask, splattering him with green goo.  Danny had no idea what kind of sensor array he had, but that would probably buy at least a little time as he adjusted it to compensate for the eye-holes of his mask being covered up. 

He turned back to Loki, only to see another Iron Man grab the staff from him. 

Only for that Loki and that staff to dissolve into the air. 

Loki, the real Loki, stopped being invisible and laughed.  “Oh, that was good, that was very good.”  Not only was this Loki real, his smile might have been as well.  “But you didn’t think you could fool me, did you?”

Danny flicked invisible, noting with disfavor that the green goo stayed visible when he did so, and moved closer to Loki, fending off attacks.  Two Iron Men – Where did the second person come from?  Was it Barton, in a suit?  Someone else entirely?  The War Machine person?  Danny couldn’t remember his name.  – and Romanov together was a bit of a challenge for Danny to keep track of, given his present mental state. 

Luckily, however, one of the two suits, the first one, didn’t seem to have nearly the tactical awareness of the other.  He’d say it was Stark in the second suit, the fresher-looking one… the one without any form of ghost proofing Danny could detect. 

Danny swiped an intangible arm through the suit, cleaving through delicate wires as he did so, but leaving warm, human flesh untouched.  Several pieces of armor fell away, revealing a band t-shirt, but not the whole thing.  Interesting. 

Romanov threw a Fenton Ghost Zapper at him.  Loki knocked it out of the air, the sharp end of the scepter cutting it in two as he did so.  Iron Man – the one he was pretty sure was Tony Stark – tried to grab it again, even as Loki pivoted to try and catch Black Widow with it.  Danny used that as a pretext to pull Loki back, away from Black Widow.  They did not need her under control.  Nope. 

But… they wanted the staff.  They wanted the staff now. 

Selvig must have gotten knocked free.  He must have told them, one of them, about his safeguards. 

If one of these three could get the staff, get back to the top of the tower…  Then it would be over.  They’d have won. 

.

“Director Fury, the council has made a decision.”

Fury flexed his fingers behind his back.  “I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.”  It’s what he’d say if he hadn’t learned what he’d just learned.  If HYDRA wasn’t threaded through every element of SHIELD like a deadly parasite.  If this sounded more like a simple fear-driven overreaction and less like a way to destroy one of HYDRAs most famous enemies and his new and very powerful allies? 

“Director, despite your shocking negligence, bordering on dereliction, you’re closer than any of our subs.  You scramble that jet—”

“That is the island of Manhattan, councilman.”  Although considering that HYDRA, in the person of Red Skull, had tried to blow it up in the past, he wasn’t sure that would sway them.  Until I’m certain my team can’t hold them—”

“There are two armies of alien origin, emerging from portals above that island.  If we don’t—”

“I will not order a nuclear strike against a civilian population, much less the densest population in the United States.  And the other army is an ally.”

“Based on what intelligence?  Based on what invitation?  That of someone already suborned by Loki?”

“If we don’t hold them in the air,” added another councilmember, “we lose.  We lose everything.”

“If I send that bird out, we already have.”

.

“Director Fury is no longer in command.  Override order, seven, alpha, eleven.”

“Sorry, sir,” said the pilot, who had just taken his seat.  He watched with some trepidation as Agent Coulson led a pair of his colleagues away.  This was all very irregular.  “I’m not familiar with that code.”

There was a pause.  “What’s your name, son?”

.

Cujo frolicked through the city.  It was loud, yes, but nothing he hadn’t been in training for while alive, and nothing he hadn’t experienced while dead.  So, a non-issue, obviously. 

The actual issue?  His person had just thrown a stick.  Obviously, Cujo had to go fetch it. 

#danny phantom #dp/mcu #dp/marvel #op!danny/marvel #life's great lie

[bellysoupset]

Sicily - Part 4

In which Jonah learns beaches and a hangover don't mix.

Read part 1 here , part 2 here and part 3 here.

-----------------

Vince wasn't expecting anyone to go sight seeing the next day, not after they had all gone to bed at almost 6 AM and drained four whole bottles of wine between them.

So it was to his biggest surprise when there were knocks on his door, vigorous knocks he already knew belonged to Luke.

"I'm coming in, cover anything you don't want me to see," Lucas said, voice brimming with energy and then, five seconds later, the door opened. Vince groaned, rolling onto his side and rubbing his eyes.

"What?" he grimaced, feeling his head throb from all the wine and sugar, "what time is it?"

"Almost lunch," Lucas' exhausted frown from the night before was gone and back was the overexcited puppy attitude that Vince was used to. He groaned.

"G'away, Lucas," Vince scoffed, rolling on his side and wrapping an arm around Wendy. He was learning she could sleep through an earthquake, that explained why she never complained about him snoring... And explained why her phone had 20 different alarms. He had never questioned, since normally Vince was up and leaving before she was.

"Noo, c'mon," Lucas stepped into the room, unbothered and grabbed Vince's ankles poking out from under the blanket, "let's drive to the town so you can show me some genuine cuisine."

"Did Bell kick you out?" Vince guessed, trying to kick Lucas away and failing.

"No, actually, she's waiting by the car."

"For real?" Vince asked in an offended voice, "c'mooon-"

"We're in Sicily," Lucas rolled his eyes, then grabbed Wendy's calf and gave her the same treatment he was giving to Vin, "rise and shine, we're gonna go have lunch and then head to the beach. If you're not both up in five, I'm sending your mom up here."

"I wish you had never befriended ma," Vince groaned, hiding his face in Wendy's hair and considering if she was faking to be asleep to try and get away from sight seeing. As soon as Luke closed the door again, Vin poked her side, "are you asleep, honey?"

"I wish," Wendy groaned, rolling so she could mush her face in his chest, "I'm going to murder Lucas."

Vince snorted, kissing the top of her head, "c'mon, let's get dressed."

He was not at all surprised to find that Jonah had the biggest and meanest frown on when they met the rest of the group outside, but it was pretty surprising that Leo was that charged up, considering how drunk he had been six hours before.

"You're not hungover?" Wendy voiced his incredulity and Leo shrugged.

"I'm just built better."

"Fuck you," Jonah groaned, seeming to have gotten the hangover that was meant for Leo and rubbing his face. He was wearing sunglasses, which only made the whole situation more amusing.

"Finally, a human," Wendy sighed, walking closer to Jon and putting her own pair of sunglasses on. Vince rolled his eyes at them both, leaving them behind in order to talk with his parents, who were chatting with Luke and Bell.

"I don't get why we can't sight see at night," Jonah complained, causing Leo and Wendy to snort at him. He shrugged, "what? It's not like street lamps don't exist."

"Get in the car, grumps," Leo giggled, pushing his arm. Jonah slid into the backseat, collapsing against the window and crossing his arms to his chest.

"Don't wake me up until we get there," he scoffed and Wendy chuckled, poking his side.

"Did you at least bring your swim shorts? Or are you planning to go with a linen blazer to the beach, because that's pretentious, sweetie."

"Leo has it," Jonah mumbled and Leo, from the front seat, raised his thumbs up.

"Both our swim wear and a fuckton of sunscreen. I got the highest protection they got. Those thingies to remove water from your ear, glasses, a cap, towels, flip flops-"

Wendy couldn't help but laugh, "You fucking control freak- oh hi, Soph!"

Vince got in the driver's seat, so Sophia slid in the backseat alongside Jonah and Wendy. She had a pout on, concealed by the big straw hat she was wearing.

"Told you to stop flirting with Lucas," Vince said, shutting his door and starting the car. Wendy raised her eyebrows, confused and Sophia let out a scoff, her face on fire.

"I was not flirting!"

"So Bells bit your head off for no reason?"

"Yes!"

"Hard to believe."

Jonah couldn't help smiling lazily at the teenager, noticing the fiery blush covering her cheeks, that sharp annoyance that teenagers wore so well, that he once did too.

Rationally Jon knew his younger sister, Angie, was closer to age to Sophia than she was to Livia, Vince's six year old sister. However, he hadn't seen her in five years and he couldn't help but still picture the baby he had seen in the hospital.

He wondered if Angela was just every bit as sullen as Sophia was, she should be turning seventeen in a month.

"Stop staring at me, weirdo," Sophia scoffed and Leo nearly snorted water out of his nose when he realized she meant Jon, choking so much he couldn't laugh.

Wendy frowned, "he's wearing sunglasses, Soph, you literally don't even know where he's looking. Chill."

Jonah bit down a smile at Wendy jumping to his defense, the edge on her voice clear. She was a ride or die and he appreciated it more than he could put it into words.

He slid down the seat, leaning his head back and vaguely overhearing as Vince made fun of his sister, trying to get her to join into the conversation, only to receive a snappish response that had him complaining loudly in return.

Jonah's turned his attention from sibling's quarrel to the fact his stomach was churning uneasily. He had no idea how his boyfriend was even standing, let alone all cheery, considering Leo had drunk three times the amount he had.

His stomach felt weird, filled to the brim with acid and bubbling, splashing on his throat at every turn of the car.

"Jon," Leo's voice snapped him out of the half-nap. He was turning on his seat, squeezing Jonah's calf through the space between the seat and the door, in order to get his attention, "babe, are you alright? You're super quiet."

"Hungover," Jonah yawned, "are you alright?"

Next to him, Wendy let out a loud laughter, caught up in a conversation he wasn't listening and Jon scoffed, sliding as far away from her as he could.

"Yeah, I'm feeling amazing," Leo smiled brightly, "you probably just need to eat something greasy, get your energy back."

Jonah's stomach turned at the thought, the bubbling morphing into stormy waves, but he only nodded, "maybe," he pushed his sunglasses back up, "how much longer until we get there, Vin?"

"Fifteen minutes," Vince said, the remnants of laughter in his voice. Jonah didn't answer, pressing his forehead to the window and hoping he could nap at least for that handful of minutes.

It felt like he blinked, then Leo was shaking him awake.

Leo had opened the backseat door of the car and was hunched over in order to get a good look at his face, smiling, "we're here, baby."

"Uhm..." Jonah groaned, rubbing a hand over his face, "my head is throbbing."

"Hold up," Wendy, who had been standing next to the car while waiting for the others, said. She dug through her purse and then threw him a little pill bottle, "tylenol. Don't take too many."

"You're like a walking pharmacy," Vince teased her, hugging Wendy from behind and they cutely waddled forward, in that weird penguin step couples did when wrapped up like that.

Leo rubbed Jonah's thigh, "if you're feeling too awful we can go back to the house," he said in a low voice, "but I really think you should at least try eating something before we head back, maybe you'll feel better."

"Okay," Jonah mumbled, too lethargic to put up a fight. He wished he was... Well, not dead, but simply not awake and conscious, feeling his entire body fight the massive intake of alcohol from the night before. The sun felt like pins to his eyes and his mouth tasted awful, even if he had brushed his teeth twice before they left. His stomach was churning, regularly splashing in the back of his throat and his head was a fucking nightmare.

He fished out a singular pill from the bottle, swallowing it dry, before letting Leo pull him up.

Azzurra was the name of the little hole in the wall restaurant they went in, their little party of ten easily taking up almost all spots of the cantina.

Jonah sat down between Leo and Magda, planting his elbow on the table and his head on his hands. Leo put a hand on his back, rubbing lazy circles up and down, but he wasn't paying attention, talking with Vince's mom as he flipped through the menu.

Maggie seemed overjoyed to be able to talk in italian and she was flip flopping between languages so fast that Jon had entirely given up on understanding her. She had asked him something, he was sure, because he heard his name being thrown around twice, but he didn't bother lifting up his head.

A glass of water was planted before him, to which Jonah was glad, because he nearly gagged just as he lifted up his head and caught Vince's dad - Giuseppe - draining a glass of white wine.

Jon looked around the table, sipping his cold sparkling water. Everyone seemed to be happy, so much so that it was rubbing off on him, hangover be damned.

He leaned back, resting his head on Leo's shoulder and the blonde seemed surprised at the big display of affection in public, but he recovered quickly, "ma said we should order the pasta all... Normy?" he dragged the end of the sentence and Maggie shook her head.

"Alla norma," she corrected, "it's just pasta, nothing too exciting, but I don't think you could handle exciting right now, mister," she berated Jonah with a glare, her voice amused and he let out a whine.

"I swear I didn't even drink that much, ma!"

Pasta Alla Norma looked delicious and it came in a big, deep dish. It was just pasta, indeed, with some cheese shredded on top of the thick and acidic tomato sauce, some leaves of basil chopped roughly and rolled in the sauce, along with pieces of...

"What's this?" Jonah pushed the black piece around and Leo, already halfway through his second forkful answered him with his mouthful.

"Eggplant," he grumbled the word, holding up a forkful for him, "here, have a taste."

Jon dutifully opened his mouth and braced to hate it, but instead he found himself widening his eyes and moaning, "this'mazing," he said and Leo nodded, eyes wide.

"I know, right?"

Between the two of them, they cleared up the plate in no time, Maggie occasionally interjecting to tell them to breathe and not inhale the food.

Maybe Leo was right and all he needed was some food in him, Jonah thought, being lured into a false security. He happily agreed to a second dish, unable to help laughing as he watched Vince grumble and complain as he realized half the dishes he so desperately wanted to eat had milk in it. This time he didn't quite manage to clear the plate, but what he didn't get, Leo finished for him.

Jon wasn't sure he had ever seen his boyfriend so happy. His blue eyes were sparkling, cheeks flushed and he had a permanent smile on. He had been giggling at the most inane things.

Jonah leaned back on his seat, muffling a burp against his fist and fighting the urge to unbutton his pants. Maybe he shouldn't have eaten so fast.

The thought left his mind as Leo planted a huge tiramisu before him, blinking innocently and saying "I can't do it on my own, help me."

"You're a terrible person," Jon scoffed, leaning forward and pulling on the jeans as it pressed against his stomach, "you know I'm stuffed."

"One bite."

One bite turned into a third of the dessert and Jonah groaned, leaning his head back against Leo's shoulder as the blonde polished off the plate and ordered another soda, laughing as Lucas let out a whine across the table when Bella nearly forked his hand when he tried taking her dessert.

He was pleasantly stuffed, ready for a nap, but instead the lunch stretched for another hour and then they were back in the car and heading for the beach.

The last time Jonah had been on the beach he had been twenty, so it was almost five years before. He was more a mountains type of guy, but he had to give it to Leo, the Sicilian beach hit differently.

There was a shaded bar where they changed into their swim wear and rented those big beach umbrellas.

"C'mere," Jonah grumbled, tugging on the back of Leo's shorts when he seemed ready to leap into the turquoise water, "sunscreen, white boy."

Leo sat down on the sand between his legs, allowing Jonah to spread the sunscreen all over his shoulders, back and chest, while the blonde covered his arms, legs and face. When he looked sufficiently greasy, Jon pulled his hands back with a smile, "there."

"You too," Leo patted his shoulder, "exchange places with me-"

Jonah opened his mouth to complain he didn't need sunscreen, he was black it was not like he was going to turn into a lobster, but Leo simply glared at him and squirted a dollop of cream on his hand.

"That doesn't mean you don't get sunburned, sit down."

Leo lathered his back with sunscreen, then gestured for him to turn around so he could do his chest and torso. His gentle hands pushed up a wet belch and Jonah scrambled to cover his mouth.

"Shit, I'm sorry. Excuse me," he groaned, causing Leo to chuckle.

"Since when do you care?" he joked, poking Jonah's tummy again and working up yet another burp, this one Jonah muffled in his hand, looking around.

No one was paying them any attention, Vince, Wendy, Lucas and Bella were already in the sea, screaming at each other and Maggie was doing the same thing Leo was, rubbing Mr. Monacelli in sunscreen and berating him lightly.

Sophia was sprawled on the towel she had put down, trying to get a tan and little Livia... She was sitting in the sand between them and her parents, looking up at Jonah with a quizzical expression.

"Hi," Jonah waved and Livia lit up, holding out her bucket for him.

"Do you wanna help me build?"

"Uhm-" Jon wasn't even sure why he was blushing, maybe it was the fact Leo had simply stopped applying sunscreen and seemed totally taken in, "yeah, of course, darling. What are we building?"

He sat back down on the warm sand and Leo cleared his throat, getting up, "I'm gonna go for a swim..."

"I'll join in a bit," Jonah said, while Livia scooted closer to him.

"A princess castle," she said, crawling so she could sit next to his knee, "with big towers."

"Can I have a bucket too?" Jonah crossed his legs and tried to ignore how being sat down put pressure in his stuffed stomach. Livia dug through her beach bag and held him a little plastic cup.

"You can make the baby towers," she bossed him and he couldn't help but snort, rolling his eyes.

He wasn't sure how long they stayed there, but Jonah was sure of one thing: he was lunch was not staying down. The longer he sat there, working under Livia's orders with the sun shining down on them both, the more he could feel his stomach churning all over again as the headache crawled back.

He had grabbed a water bottle to sip on, trying fruitless to push down the nausea.

His stomach let out a loud, disgusting whine and Livia looked surprised, before exploding in a bunch of giggles too, "your tummy is talking!"

Jonah's face burned with embarrassment and he wrapped an arm around it, "I'm sorry, Liv-"

"Can you do it again?" she shook her head, all polite adult manners wasted on her and Jon scoffed, opening a smile.

"No, I can't. It feels gross," he admitted, causing her to look around.

"I can call mamma," she said, "she helps when my tummy feels yucky."

"Oh nononono," Jonah rushed to quiet her down, "there's no need. I'm fine. I'm-" he had moved forward to keep Livia put and acid splashed on his throat. Jonah gulped it down, then let his hands drop to the sand, breathing in deeply. There was a hammer in his head, more acid rushed up and he stubbornly swallowed again.

"Jon...?" Livia called in a sweet way, little hands coming to grab his shoulder, "why are you sitting like that...?"

Please don't let me throw up on the baby, he mentally chanted, gulping convulsively. Every time he tried to swallow enough to say anything, his stomach clenched again.

Jonah couldn't help another wet belch and then he fell back on his heels, hot nausea causing his arms to get covered in goosebumps... He grabbed the ditched sand bucket and heaved.

It was awful. Red and chunky and clinging to his throat, causing him to heave again. The retching motion made his head hurt all the more and Jonah let out a whimper, so humiliated he wanted to dig a hole and bury himself in it.

Vaguely he heard Livia crying out and Sophia saying something he thought he should be offended by- Then cold wet hands were on his back, rubbing up and down.

He let out a moan, "get me out of here, Leo."

"Not Leo," Bella's voice startled him and Jonah looked up, confused. Out of everyone he expected, Bell was the last one.

She opened a smile, planting her cold hand on his forehead, "one hell of a hangover uh?"

Jonah groaned again, moving to sit on his ass instead of being on his knees hunched over Livia's poor destroyed bucket, "this is so fucking humiliating."

Bella let out a chuckle, patting his back in a friendly manner, "we're heading home, don't worry, Jon. I'm guessing the heat didn't help either."

He shook his head, working up another sick belch, followed by a splash of stomach acid. Jonah forced his eyes to open, squinting at the light and noticed Livia had ran from him and was clinging to Vince's leg at the shore, looking like she was crying.

"Oh great, I made her cry."

"She's worried," Bella corrected him, sounding amused, "Leo's pulling the car back around."

"Uhm," Jonah leaned back, resting his head on her knee, "not that I'm complaining, but where's Luke?"

"Chorusing you in the bathroom, probably," Bell sounded annoyed, "he stumbled in there five minutes ago."

Jonah scoffed, "what the hell? He's not hungo-"

"Too much sun in his gringo head," Bella sounded like she was rolling her eyes, "and he's a stubborn mule who won't put sunscreen on!" her voice raised at the end, so Jonah knew it wasn't directed at him. True to his assessment, a shadow appeared a second later and then Lucas sat on the beach chair next to him, cradling his head.

"I love you too, Isabella," he said in an annoyed tone, causing Bell to scoff and squeezed Jon's shoulder under her hand.

Jonah would've loved to make fun of Lucas, wasn't it for the fact his stomach felt far from settled and his head was still pounding bloody murder. He let out a groan, digging his feet in the sand and gulping nervously as his mouth started to water all over again.

"You're alright," Bella sighed, cupping his forehead, "let it up, Jon. Better here than in the car."

He didn't need to be told twice, because another frothy belch brought up a mouthful of bile. Jonah knew he was wrung dry, but that didn't stop his body from dry heaving for at least another five minutes.

"Jesus, man," Lucas said in a defeated manner, passing him the water bottle as soon as Jonah straightened up, wiping the tears that clung to his lashes and feeling his abs burn with all the effort, "that's brutal."

"I'm never drinking again," Jonah groaned, gulping down the cold water and wincing when it soothed his throat but sat in his belly like a brick, "I'm serious."

"Aren't we always?" Bella teased lightly, squeezing his nape, "Leo's here, c'mon, let's go."

Luke offered him a hand and while Jonah took it, he leaned his weight on Bella, noticing the bright red splotches covering Lucas' shoulders, face and torso.

"Don't you look like a delicious lobster, Atwood," Jon teased, while Leo jumped out from the driver's seat to help.

"How can I-"

"Here," Bella grunted, passing Jonah's arm to him, "take your silly boyfriend, I'm going to clean this-" she tapped her nails against Livia's colorful bucket "and promise Liv you'll be buying her a new one, mister."

"Tell her I'm sorry for spooking her," Jonah groaned, his cheeks ablaze and Leo chuckled, helping him to the car.

"Honestly I think you shocked Sophia more than Livia," he said, opening the backseat door, then frowning, "front or back?"

"Whatever," Jonah shrugged, getting in the backseat, "sorry for spoiling your fun too."

"At least he got out of the sun before he got sunburned," Lucas interjected, sliding in the opposite side of the passenger seat and letting out a hiss as his skin met the warm leather.

"You're ridiculous," Leo rolled his eyes, "and I wasn't getting sunburned because I actually know how to wear sunscreen," he moved closer, stroking Jon's cheeks and allowing his boyfriend to lean in, hugging him by the waist.

"She said she wants a castle set," Bella said, jogging back to them and handing Jonah the now clean bucket, that smelt like seawater, "and that she hopes your tummy stops feeling yucky."

"Cute," Jon smiled, breathing in deeply and not wanting to pull back from Leo. He could hear the steady thump-thump of his heart and it was making him sleepy.

"Get in, let's go home," Bella said, while Leo passed her the keys. Lucas let out a whine.

"Don't I get any loving?"

"No, perish," Bella glared at him, shutting the door of the car and turning up the a/c. Jonah laughed, sipping the water and leaning his head back.

They didn't have to stop at all in the drive back, which Jon counted as a win. He planned to get back in bed, but instead, much to his surprise, Jonah found himself in the yard.

There were hammocks spread around, so Leo sat down in one, gesturing for Jonah to join him.

"We're gonna pull this down, we're heavy," Jon pointed out, but climbed in regardless and let out a satisfied sigh as he could press his overheated face to Leo's chest. He smelt like the sea.

Across from them, Bella was lightly berating Lucas, sitting down on a pool chair, spreading aloe all over his shoulders and back. Leo let out a happy sigh, fingers trailing up Jon's back in a rhythmic manner.

"Best day ever," he said and Jonah scoffed.

"I hurled in a kid's bucket."

"I stand by my words," Leo grinned, pressing a kiss on the top of his head, "but tomorrow we're gonna go sight seeing for real, so don't you dare drink anything."

"Ugh," Jonah cuddled closer, wincing at the memory of wine, "deal."

#mywriting #sickfic #emetophilia #jonah banks #hangover

[sibsteria]

Two Brunettes and A Boyle [pt2]

[Jake Perlata/fem!Reader/Jonah Simms mini series]

Things you need to know:

I have kept Amy and Adam together, for story purposes.

Slow-burn

!!This part includes mentions of blood and injury!! 

(h/n)- hospital name

Masterlist

2/?

Shrugging on my jacket, I swipe the spare key from the kitchen draw.

I make sure the door is locked before I exit, the cold air bites at the tip of my nose.

It’s dark, almost 11pm, I take a look at the location of the store that Charles sent me- it’s not too far. 

My converse tap against the hard concrete below, following the blue line on my phone directing where to go.

The store’s bright sign and blinding lights are harsh against my eyes, still fresh from sleep, I hear the expected electronic brr-brr as the automatic doors open in front of me.

I travel down the linoleum isles, scanning the shelves for the batteries, ha! got them.

I let my fingers wrap around the cardboard, before gliding to the cashier, a quick payment and my task is complete. 

The tepid air of the store almost let me forget about the freeze outside, nipping against my ears.

Almost no one’s around, a few suited business men, a couple cars. It’s kind of calming to hear the silence in this part of the city- no hustle and bustle. 

I get so caught up in my thoughts I don’t notice the built stranger I bump into until I’m on the ground.

‘‘Ooh! I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.’’ I try to laugh it off, apologising for colliding with the poor man.

He lays out his hand for me to take, ‘’It’s quite alright, little lady, I do the same sometimes.’’ his soft voice and kind demeanour make me smile.

‘‘Ha, ha.’‘

‘‘What’s a girl like you doing out this late, anyways?’‘ He crosses his arms, standing his ground.

‘‘Oh, I just needed to get something for my nephew, a small inconvenience- you know how it is.’‘ I reply.

‘‘You in a hurry?’‘ He quirks an eyebrow.

‘‘Kind of, it’s wayyy past his bedtime, needs these batteries for his night light. I’ll be seeing you!’‘ I give a curt nod to the guy, before sliding past his tall frame. 

He grips my forearm before I can get far, ‘’Sweetie, I’m sure I have something else to peak your interest.’’ He winks at me through his wind-swept hair.

‘‘O-oh, I’m sorry, I got to get going.’‘ I bite my lip, feeling awkward.

‘‘I don’t think you do.’‘ A hard yank and I’m falling into his arms, okay, now I’m panicking.

Adrenaline races around my body, I’ve never been in a situation like this, what do I do?

I scan my surroundings and notice a shadow metres away from me, as this guy starts to pull me with him, I shout.

‘‘H-help!’‘ I’m starting to struggle against his tough grip, he wrestles me further.

I look to the figure in front of us, he’s now racing toward me. The man enforcing me turns a sharp head to look at the man- it’s a man. He panics, he digs a hand in his pocket, pulling out an object. I don’t see what it is until my peripherals catch the glimmer of silver in the lamp light. Oh, fuck, no. No, no, no, no. 

I scream, trying to pull myself away, scared and shaking. A harsh pain spreads across my side, shit! The motherfucker fucking stabbed me. I look back to the man who was running towards us, sighing in relief as I see the cop badge swinging around his neck.

The monster lets go of me, throwing me to the floor before taking off, running towards the direction I’d come from. 

The cop passes me, a comment flies from his mouth. 

‘‘Stay there, ma’am!’‘ He’s fast, billowing toward the guy who got away. I’m crying but I can’t feel it, I taste it, the salt mixing with my saliva.

He tackles the bastard, he thuds against the floor. I can hear a few quips from his radio, he’s rushing. My head feels fuzzy, heavy.

A few more officers round the corner, he throws the guy to them before high-tailing it back to me.

His footsteps beat heavy around my skull, a soft hand cups my face. 

‘‘Hey, hey, can you move?’’ His voice is soothing, calm in such a terrorising situation.

‘‘I-I think so, yeah.’‘ He helps me slide up against the brick wall beside us.

‘‘I have an ambulance on the way, I’m going to stay here until they arrive, ma’am.’‘ He’s pulling of his tie as he speaks, pressing it against my seeping wound. I feel the cold leather of his sleeve against my hands as I squeeze on to him.

‘‘What’s your name?’‘ He’s keeping me talking, keeping me conscious.

‘‘Y/n, B-boyle.’’ I wince at the searing pain of the stab wound.

His eyes widen, a look I would consider realisation, yet he hadn’t met me before. Had he?

‘‘You-you wouldn’t happen to have a brother named Charles, would you?’‘ He tugs on his lip, he seems nervous now.

‘‘Yeah, a-actually he’s expecting me. Shit, I need to call him!’‘ I cry out as his hands press harder, I can’t take it personally as he is trying to save my life.

‘‘I can do that, miss, we work at the same precinct. I have his number-hey! Are-are those…Die Hard pyjamas?” He has an excited grin on his face.

“Yeah, it’s only one of the b-best movies ever-‘’

“The best!”

I scan his person, searching for a name, I see a J. Peralta.

‘‘Oh, you’re Jake!’’ I try to sniffle through my tears.

‘‘He told you about me?’’ A smug smirk paints his face.

‘‘Of course, you know h-how he is with his friends. Proud man.’’ I can feel my eyelids getting heavier.

‘‘C’mon, Y/n, can’t go dying on him now.’’ He brushes the hairs confining my face, a sweet gesture if his hand wasn’t a little covered in my blood.

‘‘I’m a strong g-gal, I promise.’’ I whisper out.

‘‘I bet.’‘ He smiles at me. ‘’Hey!-’’ his loud voice startles me awake, I suppose he had to to keep my eyes open, ‘’I’m sure it would have been amazing to meet you under different circumstance,’’ his lopsided grin makes me crack one myself through the pain, ‘’I guess tomorrow couldn’t wait.’’

‘‘Guess it couldn’t.’‘ I breath in sharply, losing my breath.

The ringing of ambulance bells comes to the rescue, I thank Jake for his efforts.

‘‘You’re a hero. A true one.’’ His mouth twitches at my words.

‘‘I’ll see you again, Y/n. You’ll be okay.’‘ He hands me over to the on-scene paramedics. A few minutes with them and they managed to stay the bleeding.

I’ll be okay.

Jake’s POV

She seems like such a sweet girl, some people are monsters. This city is cursed. Taking out my cell, I feel a wave of nausea. How am I going to tell my best friend his sister just got stabbed?!

 He picks up after half a ring.

‘‘Hey, Jakey! What’s up?’‘ He’s beaming on the other side, making this even harder.

‘‘I need you to meet me at (h/n), now.’‘ My tone is light.

‘‘Why? What’s wrong?’‘ He sounds rushed, panicked.

‘‘Your sister, she-she’s been stabbed. I caught the guy but she was bleeding out-’‘ I rush out, afraid.

‘‘I’m on my way, oh, it’s my fault! Oh, no, I sent her out in New York, late at night with no way to protect herself. Oh, I’m an idiot!’’ He growls through the phone, I hear his car keys jingle and a door slam. ‘‘Oh, god, I hope she’s okay, how could I let this happen!’‘ I’m certain he’s crying, I myself swoop the keys off an officer’s departmentally issued car. After all, this is a family matter.

‘‘It’s not your fault, Charles, wrong place and wrong time. She just happened to get caught in it.’‘ I’m trying to calm his nerves, along with mine.

The drive the the hospital was unnerving, my heart is rattling in my chest as I see Boyle run through the doors, I chase after him.

We reach the front desk.

‘‘Y/n Boyle, I need to see Y/n Boyle!’‘ His voice is hoarse and manic.

The desk lady takes a phone call, which seems like forever, yet it was under a minute.

‘‘She’s undergoing surgery right now, her injury is mild, so it shouldn’t take too long. If you could take a seat over there, feel free to take a magazine.’’

‘‘I don’t care about a magazine, is she okay?’‘ Charles’ voice is gruff and tetchy.

‘‘Doctor’s say she’s stable, are you family by any chance?’‘ Her uncaring tone is a little unnerving to him.

‘‘Yes, her brother-’‘ Before he could finish the lady cut him off.

‘‘If you could fill this out, that would be great.’‘ She carelessly tosses a clipboard with a sheet attached to it.

I pick it up for him but as we turn to walk away, she speaks again.

‘‘Leave the clipboard.’‘ 

I roll my eyes and do what she asks, a fake but believable smile crosses my face.

‘‘I hate hospitals.’‘ Charles slumps down onto one of the old chairs that litter the waiting room.

#jake peralta #jake peralta imagine #jake peralta imagines #jake peralta x reader #b99 jake peralta x reader #brooklyn 99 #superstore #jonah imagine #jonah x reader #jonah simms #jonah simms imagine #superstore jonah imagine #jonah simms x reader #superstore imagine #Charles Boyle

[girlwholovesturtles]

Cosy Cabin

Gerry! And Gertrude!

This woman straight up told Gerry about the tunnels. Lied to his face. The audacity!

Oh? Jon is obsessing it would seem...

Gertrude, you are so untrustworthy.

Ahhhhhh!!!!!! I'm not emotionally available enough to hear from Sasha and Tim right now. I'm so sad.

I respect Tim so much right now. It really does seem like th- Oh my GOD! Tim, you can't say that!

You were talking about Jon?! Tim!

Did he just make a Princess Bride reference?

Oh? So them hooking up is canon you say? Alright, I can respect that. Gosh, I love these two's bander. Pity Tim didn't realize what genera he was actually in.

Wait! Sasha knows about Danny AND Martin's CV? And it sounds like Tim knew about Martin's CV too?! Why did Martin even tell him though?

Well, okay...

"More cardigan than woman." Wow Tim, that is a unique kinda insult.

But "Stone. Cold. Bitch." Is a very straightforward one. Thank you Sasha.

Wait, so Sasha and Tim knew the whole time that the Archive's mismanagement wasn't just from Gertrude's decline into senility and Jon Didn't? How many secrets did Jon simply not know about because he had closed himself off to everyone around him?!

Don't talk about avenging her!

"I'm unforgettable." I'm actually tearing up. Writers! You can't have Sasha say something like that. My heart!

"Drugs and wild orgies on Archive property." There's a fanfic out there somewhere...

Oh Jon I'm so sad for you right now.

Um? Who is talking through your mouth right now? Is it the Eye?

Are you talking about Daisy?

Corruption it sounds like right now? Corruption of their love as Martin and Jon grow distant again? From Jon's inaction I'm guessing?

Weird. A culmination of the fears, trying to digest them with the cabin? Maybe forever.

Martin, sweetie, you're doing fantastic and I love you for that.

I don't know if you can kill Jonah but you have 38 episodes to figure it out.

Please burn this damn place to the ground when you go!

... Nope, I guess n- you STILL have the spiderweb lighter?! JON!

Martin you've grown so bold and I respect the hell out of you for that!

#the magnus archives #tma #live blogging #episode 162

[bones-sprouts]

Curses. now i am thinking about her

Oh well. anyway Jennifer Jameson aka Spinning Jenny is a young woman in early 1800s England. Her father, John Jonah Jameson, runs the local paper and is eccentric about his craft. However, he is firm in his belief that his daughter has no business endangering herself the chaos of the crowd. If she so dreams of learning the truth of the world, she can do so by working to build the nation's roots - with needle and thread.

Jennifer resorts to busying herself in the factories, learning the trade. And although whenever she comes home her news of revolutionary inventions are ignored, she is glad to be doing something with her time.

Thats all i got for now as i look at spiders and also pretty 1800s fashion

SHES JONAHS KID?????? OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT SO SO MUCH

she comes home every day like 'dad you would not believe the shit that is happening in these factories the inventions are like nothing we've ever seen before you have to write about this' and he's like 'not now sweetie i have to write about how spinning jenny is a menace to society'

love the energy of her just kinda trying to fill her time with factory work it leaves so much room for her to come of age when she adopts the spiderman moniker,,,, she can finally learn the truth of the world even if it isn't as idealistic as she believed it would be,,,, oughh her

#do you think there would be an equivalent of when j jonahs son goes to space and almost gets real fucked up #like does she have a brother who pushes machinery as far as it can go and it results in his death - OH SHIT THAT COULD BE HER UNCLE BEEN #or not i am just spitballing sorry im just a big jenny fan

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

“So… you can’t feel anything?”

Robyn’s head tilted as she tried to comprehend the concept. Not being able to feel your legs at all? How would that even work?

“..no.. nothin’ at all…” The person replied from where he was propped against a tree, weird strings around his wrists and neck reaching into the leaves above.

Robyn had found him sitting here while walking back from school, deciding to sit with him. She knew he was definitely an alternate, but she hadn’t been murdered or driven crazy yet so that seemed like a good sign.

She’d asked why he was just sitting on the ground, and he’d said he was taking a break or something like that, so she sat with him. Wasn’t like she really had much else to do but boring homework. 

So here they were, a creature beyond true comprehension explaining why he couldn’t feel anything in his legs to a twelve year old.

“How though?”

“..hm?”

“How could you just… not feel anything? How would that work?” The girl layed down on her stomach, the blades of grass tickling her elbows as she propped her head on her hands. 

The person hesitated slightly, skeletal fingers twitching slightly. “..well.. …humans have.. nerves that cause… pain to be noticed… my nerves.. aren’t connected.. to my legs… anymore… so i can’t feel.. anything…”

Huh… guess that sorta made sense, now that Robyn thinks about it. 

Just to be sure, she poked the thing’s leg, head tilting in the other direction when there was literally no reaction. “So, even if I stabbed you in the knee with a knife or something, you wouldn’t even move..?”

“..not.. a single.. twitch…”

“..Hm…”

Moving her hands so her head fell to the grass, Robyn smooshed her face into the dirt as she thought. “What did it feel like to not feel them for the first time?”

He looked surprised at that question, the one eye she could see widening the slightest bit. “..who said i.. haven’t always been like.. this..?”

“You. You said your nerves weren’t connected anymore.”

“...terrifying.. like… a part of me was.. missing..”

Moving back upright, Robyn hummed slightly while picking at moss. “Makes sense.. I mean, legs are pretty important.. How are you able to move though? Weird alternate stuff?”

“...something like… that..”

Suddenly, the strings on the person started to become taut, and his expression shifted to fear. He turned to Robyn, and with a pleading look that sent shivers down her spine, whispered something. 

“...run…”

Something told her to stay, but she overcame it and followed the person’s advice, practically sprinting all the way home, backpack hitting against her calves and nape of her neck.

Huffing out breaths, Robyn made it to her room and flopped onto her bed. Holy shit that was scary. She wondered why the person was so scared, weren’t they an alternate? Aren’t those like, invulnerable or something?

Sighing, the girl opened her backpack and rummaged around to pull out her binder and sketchbook. Looking between them, homework or fun, the sketchbook was the easy choice.

And she knew just what, or who, to draw.

-

“Byn, sweetie, who’s this you drew?”

Robyn looked to see her mom holding up the sketch she drew of the person in the woods.

The girl knew she couldn’t tell her mom the truth, she would absolutely flip, so she told a little fib.

“He’s for a story I wanna write.. He’s a traveling oracle.” Wasn’t a complete lie, she had been planning on writing something in a fantasy setting.

Her mom laughed, relieved. “Oh! Have you picked a name for him yet?”

Tilting her head, Robyn thought about how he had seemingly protected her after having a mini lesson, and she smiled with a nod.

“Reinhold.”

[reinhold means "wise protector", but ye :D]

Yoooooo!

That’s neat. Jonah just. Having a casual conversation with someone.

#asks are neat #super cool fan stuff #alt Jonah #I like the detail that Jonah immediately knew to tell her to run after his strings were pulled #like. he knew to get her out of danger immediately #I think it’s neat. he deserves to just. talk with someone every once in a while

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Hetalia: Axis Powers Episode #13 Transcript

This episode has Britain summoning Russia with black magic.

Germany: Count off!

Italy: Just me!

Germany: It’s time to start our training. We’ll begin with the proper way to treat your subordinates.

Italy: Sieg heil!

(Sieg heil!: Hail victory! → German)

Italy: I mean, yes, sir!

Germany: Sehr gut.

(Sehr gut: Very good → German)

Germany: First, remember that other people are humans. You have to treat them with both kindness and respect.

Italy: With kindness. Right, Pookie?

Germany: But sometimes with discipline!

Italy: Discipline, got it. Naughty Pookie, naughty, naughty, naughty Pookie, Pookie, sweetie, naughty, naughty! Aah, that really hurts! Help me, Germany! He’s attacking me! Make it stop! Oh, it hurts so bad!

Germany: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, ITALY?!

(Italy: Why are you doing this to me? What did I do to you?)

{Caption: A cat’s tongue feels rough!}

Italy: Remember the catnip I gave you? Why are you hurting me with your little tonguey?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Italy: Hahahahahaha! That was great, Germany! Hahahahaha!

Britain: Damn them both! If I wasn’t bested by that (beep) German blitzkrieg again! Hehe. I let them beat me without much of a fight this time, but next time won’t be so easy. They don’t know it, but…I still have a top-secret weapon left. More powerful than conventional bombs, even. Gentlemen, it is time to attack with black magic!

Men: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhh!

Britain: Hehehehehe! Germany will learn the power of the dark side which fears no man---AUGH!

America: Britain! What’re you doin’?

Britain: I say, haven’t you ever heard of knocking?

British man: Where did you put the eye of newt?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Britain: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Britain: Dammit! Since I was interrupted before, I’ll do it at my place this time. Our family’s magic is number one in the world. You’re no match for me, stupid America! Euhm…santa, rita, mita, meada. Ringo, Jonah, Tito, Marlon. Jack, La Toya, Janet, Michael, Dumbledora the Explorer. Santa, rita, mita, meada. Ringo, Jonah, Tito, Marlon. Jack, La Toya, Janet, Michael, Dumbledora the Explorer. I’ve summoned you from the depths of hell. SHOW YOURSELF!

Russia: You called?

Britain: Nnh…nnnh…I wasn’t calling you!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Russia: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Britain: Why must you insist upon interrupting me all the time? Do you have some kind of grudge against me?

Russia: No. Ahhhhhhhhhh, wait a second. Yes, I do.

Britain: Well, my grudge is more important than your grudge! I won’t let you revengus interruptus. Now, the British curse of food! And bad tea!

Russia: Ha! Ahhhhhh!

Britain: No! Stop! I’m cursing!

Russia: Ahhhhhhh!

Japan: Nom!

Russia: Ahhhhhhhh!

Japan: Nnhn…my belly…

Russia: Ha! All right, ready to begin!

Britain: Hahaha! That’s some really spooky stuff there, chap!

{Caption: Russia’s Curse}

{Caption: During the Russo-Japanese War, Russia, together with the Orthodox Churches throughout the country, continuously cursed Japan. However, Russia was easily defeated. 18 years later, the Great Kanto earthquake struck Japan. Each time Russia cursed, Japan got put under that curse 18 years later. So in Russia, it was said that God was 18 light years away. By the way, they say that ads saying “I will execute your curse” even now openly appear in Russian newspapers...}

Britain: That’s freaky.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Britain: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

France: Hey, Russia.

Russia: Hm?

France: I thought you might be mad with the way the meeting turned out.

Russia: No, not at all. I’m just happy to watch all of you talk stuff over. It’s very nice that everyone let me feel like one of the gang. Besides, I hide dark secret no one will guess because of my sweet face!

France: Ahah. You were such a cute country when you were born and now you are all grown up.

Russia: An evil secret.

France: Ahuh?

Russia: When I look into all of your stupid faces, I think of how much fun it will be to pound them into dust.

France: I knew it! Mmhf!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Caption: When I started cleaning my storage room on a whim, it brought back that memory}

Man [narrating]: Hetalia. America’s Storage Room Cleaning.

{Caption #1: Hetalia}

{Caption #2: America’s Storage Room Cleaning}

Teenage America: You were so great.

{Caption: You were so great…}

{Caption: Production is going smoothly!!}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Italy: 🎵Germany, Germany, Germany is a really, really nice place. Even though I’m your prisoner, you give me food, and it doesn’t suck like English food! Sausages with cheeses always taste so good! It’d be heaven for a dog; yeah, that’s Germany! Tell me, how is it you Germans are so robust? You’re crushing me with your intimidation. My fragility causes me to openly weep out of fear. Your women terrify me. Is it the norm to drink a barrel of beer and then bust it on somebody’s heaaad? Please don’t come to my place in large mobs; German tourists are scary! Even the girls that are from Germany are more rugged than I am! Yahoo!🎵

Chibitalia: By any chance do you serve pasta he---

Austria: No, we don’t.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Caption: When I started cleaning my storage room on a whim, it brought back that memory}

Man [narrating]: Hetalia. America’s Storage Room Cleaning.

{Caption #1: Hetalia}

{Caption #2: America’s Storage Room Cleaning}

{Caption: All the good things and bad things…}

{Caption: All the good things and bad things…are in this place (storage room)}

Teenage America: Hey, Britain.

{Caption: Hey, England}

Teenage America: All I want is my freedom!

{Caption: After all, I want freedom!}

{Caption: On that day, surely, we took each other’s hands}

Man [narrating]: Hetalia. America’s Storage Room Cleaning.

{Caption #1: Hetalia}

{Caption #2: America’s Storage Room Cleaning}

Britain: I won’t allow it!

{Caption: I won’t allow it!}

{Caption: The decision has been made. It will be shown on this show!!}

{Caption: We sincerely hope you all will join us for the show --- Hetalia Staff}

#anime #anime transcripts #anime dub transcripts #hetalia #hetalia dub transcripts

[imhereforthetryus]

I apologize for this but uhm if you want to murder me feel free

(🤠 @judgemental-llama @that-multi-fandom-boi @parker-queenan-is-king @ambi-trash @sxshx-sxshx @green-lemonboys you all have permission to kill me for this)

THE HOLY BERG

#tj kippen #andi mack #andi mack fandom #docious magocious #niceberg #andi mack memes #is this meme still relevant #meme #jonah oh sweetie #jonah beck

[tyrus-has-my-heart]

The Internet Explorer twitter account ghostwrote this

#oh sweetie #we been knew #andi mack #tj kippen #buffy driscoll #disney #cyrus goodman #jonah beck #tyrus #disney channel #lgbtqia #lgbt #muffy #ambi #marty from the party

[anoptimisticdevil]

elias sweetie im so sorry, im so sorry an ugly ass bitch like jonah would steal your eyes, oh my god

#the magnus archives #elias bouchard #jonah magnus #tma #tma spoilers #the magnus archives spoilers #magnuspod #mag193 #a stern look

[girlwholovesturtles]

Panopticon

Another word I've literally never heard before?

"A circular prison with cells arranged around a central well, from which prisoners could at all times be observed." Okay, very Ceaseless Watcher sounding. Let's have it, then.

What is this? Oh good, Martin and Peter.

Don't you DARE talk about Tim, old man!

"That's Lietner too." WHY was that so funny to me?! He sounded so cheerful saying it and everything! Peter, a man died! Even if it was Jurgen Lietner, please have some decorum!

Martin being Snippy is great... uh? UH?

Not-Sasha?! NO!!!!!! Why would you do that?! You Evil Man!

Wait, what? Elias?! The man escaped?! Things really do just keep happening to these people.

Yep, very Watcher vibes.

Peter. You feel like such a liar right now.

Martin, you need a hug, man.

UH?! Jonah Magnus has just been under the institute this whole time? Of course he has. Why not?

"Where are his eyes?" What a horrifying question, actually.

OH! Hi Elias! I need things to stop happening just as I unpause, thanks! UH!

Back to Jon then?

No, yeah, you don't have time for whatever this is... Oh? Gertrude and Elias? She was gonna torch the Archives, then? Oh, no wonder he got so worried about Martin lighting fires. My guy probably thought the fire could go all the way down to the Panopticon if he didn't stop him.

Damn, she knew for at least a decade! And she planned to blind herself. She truly is an impressive bitch.

OH! Bye, hon. You were amazing and terrifying all at once. Uh... Wasn't it three shots? Eh, whatever.

Okay. So they've figured this shit out, at least. Fun.

"Two against one." Yeah, Martin said that once before, didn't he?

Martin is ma- okay? Well alright... screw you Elias!

"We're the same, you and I." You most certainly are not!

YES! Martin! THank you!

What?! THey're attacking now?!

OH COME ON!!!! Not-Sasha too!

So much is going wrong at once. This is amazing. I love it and I hate it all at once!

I kind of hope Not-Sasha and the hunters kill each other.

UH! Daisy, no! You're doing amazing sweetie! But I'm so scared for you.

Martin. Thank god! My man is getting his own monologue. I respect it.

Uh?! What just happened?!

Elias, Jonah, whatever, I hate you SO MUCH! God Dammit!

Oh, he's just knowing things again. Wonderful.

Why is he doing this? Why would Elias tell him this? What does he even get out of this? Surely he doesn't want to lose him to the Lonely?

What the hell is the end game here?!

#the magnus archives #tma #live blogging #episode 158 #long post

[gossip-eye]

We know that Melanie and Georgie use pet names like honey/hon (and it's great) but I have opinions of the rest of them

Jon: Would not typically use pet name, unless trying to be very dramatic and sincere (like I'm thinking you might get an Oh My Love during a particularly emotional moment). He would however melt whenever someone used a pet names for him.

Martin: Might use petnames, but not super often. He would definitely use ones like Love or Darling, and you might even get Dear in there. Probably use them in private more than public, and would absolutely use them in both a genuine and in a teasing way.

Tim: Has called people Babe on multiple occasions, completely unironically, and would do it again. Sweetheart is also a favourite. Would start out using them in a flirty way, but then they would quickly evolve into actual pet names for the person. He also uses them for both partners and close friends (if they are cool with it of course).

Sasha: I don't see her using them much, but I do also think she would have heard Tim call people Babe enough that it would worm it's way into her vocabulary. I could also maybe see her using sweetie.

Daisy: No. She would absolutely refuse to use them or have them used for her.

Basira: She might tolerate it on occasion, but again, I don't think she would enjoy using them or having them used for her.

Elias/Jonah: You know how someone's a person will call you sweetie or honey or something like that to belittle you and piss you off? That is the only context in which this man would use a petname.

This anon’s got quite a few ideas on who’s saying what - do we agree? I happen to know that Jon absolutely melts at anyone using one for him, you’re correct on that front. Tim is definitely someone who shortens people’s names and adds fun little monikers to them (Sash, Mart-o, Jonny-boy).

What do we think, darlings? Is Elias a user of condescending pet names? Does Sasha say sweetie?

eager to know,

gossip eye  👀

#tma #headcanons #the Great Petname Discourse 2021

[isthisthingeven0n]

who let the kids in? : j.w

brief summary: whilst filming an episode of jeffs barbershop, jeff has an unexpected visitor, or three - his wife and kids who are filming for their family channel 

word count: 1.4k requested:  yes by a sweet anon, i hope you like it b! warnings: literally none, it’s all fluff 

* masterlistin’ / masterlistin’ 2.0

m y  e t s y  s h o p

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it hasn’t been approved me unless specified. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)

DO NOT STEAL MY WORK - IT IS ALL MY OWN WRITING

“Mommy, mommy!” You rolled over as you felt a tug on the blanket barely covering your legs. “Mommy, I’m hungry.” 

Opening your eyes, a yawn left your lips as you sat upright, seeing Jeff fast asleep beside you with the majority of the blanket over him. 

“Hey sweetie,” You smile brightly, trying to fight back the urge to lie down as you swing your legs over the egde of the bed whilst your daughter giggles. “fancy some breakfast, huh?” 

Your little girl holds her hand out for you to take as you follow her out from your bedroom, leaving your husband to sleep in as you head down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

“What’d you feel like this morning then Maisie?” You kneel down to your daughters level, her brunette hair losely tied back with a scrunchie as she sways from side to side. 

Following her gaze, she points over to the box of coco pops. “Can I have those, please?” She asks so sweetly it melts your heart. 

As you prepare her breakfast, you hum to yourself. “Looks like you started the day without us?” Jeff walks in with your son in his arms, cradling his head against his shoulder. 

“Daddy!” Maisie abandons her breakfast as she runs over to Jeff, wrapping her arms around his legs. 

“You gonna say hi to your brother?” Jeff asks as he kneels down, shifting Jasper to face Maisie who gently reaches out for Jaspers closed palm. 

“Hi, Jaspy.” She whispers, unaware of you filming snippets of these moments for your channel. “Come on, Mommys making breakfast!” Maisie looks up to Jeff who raises an eyebrow as he rises to his feet, walking over to kiss you good morning. 

“When did you get up?” Jeff asks you as he sets Jasper down in his cot, cooing him as he squirms momentarily. 

A loud yawn leaves your lips as Jeff glances over his shoulder, chuckling to you. “About 6? Maisie came in wanting breakfast and you looked so sleepy.” You admit as you wrap your arms around Jeff’s waist, resting your head on his chest as you feel his chest rise and fall with laughter.

“Last nights activities wore me out, babe.” He whispers, unaware of you rolling your eyes before pulling away. “Are you alright to go to the park without me today?” 

You nod in response, heading over to the coffee machine. “You shooting today?” 

Passing Jeff a coffee, he inhales the steam. “Yeah, we’re doing American Psycho, few different guests coming in.” Jeff explains as you take your own coffee, enjoying the brief moment of quiet whilst Maisie eats her breakfast and Jasper naps. 

And before you can close your eyes and enjoy the peace, Jasper begins to cry and Maisie has finished her breakfast, holding the bowl up above her head to prove it’s empty. “No, Maisie!” Jeff is too slow to move as droplets of milk land in Maisie’s hair, and she starts crying. “Oh baby, there’s no point crying over some spilt milk.” He sighs, picking her up whilst you go see to Jasper. 

Swaying gently with Jasper in your arms, you glance around at the clock. “Jeff,” You speak up as Jeff rises the last of the milk from Maisie’s hair. “you gotta go ready, you can’t be late to your own show.” You remind him as he wears a guilty expression. 

“Are you,” He doesn’t even have to finish as you nod, waving him off. “thank you, babe.” He kisses you sweetly before rushing up the stairs whilst you pick up your camera, stopping the recording for the meantime whilst you get the kids ready for the day ahead. 

*

“Is Daddy working, Mommy?” Maisie asks as you walk with the pushchair in front of you, Maisie standing on the platform at the back whilst the cover is concealing Jasper from the bright sunshine. 

Nearing the park, you can see kids already playing and laughing. “He is sweetie, that’s why Nerf isn’t joining us on our outting today.” You explain. 

See, Maisie doesn’t fully understand what you and Jeff do for work. All she understands is that Jeff goes off to film things whilst you’re able to film at home most of the time alongside him. Your YouTube channel isn’t the typical family vlogging type, you include snippets of your kids within your day instead of having it revolve around them. 

“Could we go visit Daddy after we play?” Maisie suggests as you push open the gate and she climbs down. 

You pause for a moment, wondering if the content Jeff will be filming is something Maisie could see or not. Then again, she’s been on set when Jeff films countless times, and all the crew love her and Jasper, but then again some are too high to fully notice. 

“We’ll see, baby.” You tell her as she runs off, leaving you with Jasper as you take a seat on a bench with your laptop, importing footage to roughly edit whilst Maisie plays in the enclosed park. 

An hour passes by and you check your phone, seeing Jeff has texted you to say he’s almost finishing filming for the day. 

“Mais, come on baby!” You call out as Maisie waves to some friends she made whilst you sort Jasper out as she skips over to you with a bright smile, her eyes glowing just like her Dad’s. 

“Can we go see Daddy now?” Maisie asks once more, and you nod, knowing you can’t so not to her, and Jeff will have a harder time saying no to his little girl. 

*

“Okay, but you gotta be quiet, yeah?” You mumble to Maisie as you stand in the lift and she nods, pressing her finger to her lips and shushes herself whilst you take your camera out. 

As you exit the lift, your conversation seems to have left Maisie’s mind as she runs across the corridor to the front door. She knocks loudly, and before you can catch up with the pram, the door opens and Maisie is in. 

“What the?” You struggle to hold your smile as you peer through the front door, seeing Jeff stood covered in fake blood whilst Maisie is at his feet, gripping his legs. 

“Hi Daddy,” Maisie giggles. “you look funny.” 

“Who let my kid in?” Jeff calls out, looking to the crew who shrug their shoulders. 

“Might’ve been me.” Jonah admits, holding his hand up whilst Scott remains seated, looking at your daughter as he waves sweetly to her. 

Walking in, you smile sheepishly as one of the cameras is facing you. “Hey, babe.” You speak up as you lift Jasper from his pram, walking over and your eyes widen at the sight you’re greeted with. “What the actual fluff?” You ask, covering your mouth with one hand whilst the other cradles Jasper. 

“It’s American Psycho baby, gotta go all or nothing.” Jeff holds his hands up in defence whilst you chuckle. 

“Hey Scott,” You wave and Scott nods to you. 

“Want me to mind Jasper for a minute?” Scott suggests and you nod gratefully, passing your son across to one of his many Uncles as Scott hums one of his tunes to your son. 

“Daddy,” Maisie holds her arms up to Jeff, making those grabby hands. 

“Oh come on, princess.” Jeff chuckles as he bends down, picking Maisie up as you go to protest, watching as her dress is covered in fake blood. “Oh,” Jeff sighs, realising what has happened as you huff.

“Jeff,” You drag his name out, yet Maisie giggles at the marks covering her pink dress. 

“Mommy I’m just like Daddy!” Maisie states proudly, and Jeff raises an eyebrow to you. 

“You got all this, right?” You glance over your shoulder to Jonah who nods, having taken your camera once you came in as Jasper woke up. 

“Wanna go sort Jasper out whilst I wrap up?” Jeff suggests and you nod. 

“Come on Mais,” You call out, but Jeff shakes his head. “you can’t finish filming with Maisie covered in fake blood, the media will have a field day, Jeff.” You remind him as you hold your hand out and he lowers Maisie back to the ground. 

“Go on, go to Mommy, sweetie.” Jeff motions to Maisie as she rushes over to your side. “I love you babe!” Jeff calls out sheepishly as you chuckle, walking away from the set. 

“I love you too.” You call out, sometimes wondering what you got yourself into all those years ago. 

#ugh i love jeff #and the thought of him with kids ugh #too much #jeff wittek #jeff wittek imagine #jeff wittek imagines #jeff wittek fluff #jeff wittek angst #jeff wittek oneshot #jeff wittek x reader #jeff wittek writing #vlog squad #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad fluff #vlog squad angst #vlog squad writing #vlog squad oneshot #vlog squad x reader #vlog squad au #vlogsquad #vlogsquad imagine #vlogsquad imagines #vlogsquad fluff #vlogsquad angst #vlogsquad oneshot #vlogsquad x reader #vlogsquad writing #vlogsquad au