#kids do the darndest things

[gummmy]

Halloween was a stressful time for the only family member who can sew. Especially when your kids change their mind last minute.

#my art #Rottmnt #rottmnt family #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #turtle tots #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #rottmnt splinter #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #mario #princess peach #bowser #kids do the darndest things

[emi98338]

“AHHH! Oh, it’s just Skipper.. I thought we discontinued you..”

Story time! Growing up, my mom was firmly in the ‘Barbie adds nothing to society but giving girls body issues and the ability to leave 3,000 accessories around the house’ club so I had Polly Pockets growing up (just as bad but on a miniature scale might I add). My friend up the road though???? Ohhhhhhh man not only did she have almost every Barbie you could think of, she had the accessories, houses, cars, all in her very own tree/clubhouse. It had AC and a working phone and everything.

Well one day she and I are up there, and my little sister is kind of doing her own thing nearby. Well we’re INTO this game of Barbies and who should come along into the dream house, at the most dramatic moment, crying about how the baby was coming and 911 needed to be called? Dear old Skipper. My friend and I worked our little heart out to ‘deliver’ the baby when we hear a muffled “hello? Hello does anyone need assistance?!”

We look up and make eye contact with my sister, WORKING PHONE IN HAND, who had at our perceived request, called 911. Panic ensues and she hangs up while we freak out and start cleaning up all the Barbie’s (no baby no proof I guess lol?). By the time we were about done, the police had called back to the house and spoken to my friends mom about the situation, making sure everything was actually ok, who in turn called MY mom to let her know what had transpired. I think that was the only time I’ve ever seen her in more trouble than me, what a soap opera of the day.

#lol #funny #kids do the darndest things #kids are stupid #Barbie #hi barbie! #oh hi officer.. #kids #childhood #memories #funny story #story time

[blondthndrninja]

Wrote this drabble on the basis of what if Trafalgar Law had a son and how these two interact with each other. There is no direct LawNa but it’s heavily implied Nami is this kid’s mother. Idk I just thought it was a cute idea, I even added an author’s note at the end about him and some of his quirks. Hope you guys like it and thanks for reading.

“Go forward!” their lieutenant yelled, “I know that damn pirate is here somewhere!”

“We can’t! The lightning is too dangerous and the wind is getting to hurricane levels!”

The lieutenant frowned as he looked at the sky with black clouds, “This isn’t a natural storm.” He looked up and saw a figure on the roof.  “Wait? Who is that?”

On the rooftop was a young man sitting down in the middle of the heavy storm as if he was merely loitering. He wore a yellow tank shirt with rolled up jeans and had on simple sandals. A white hat with black spots obscured his gold eyes from view covering his bright orange hair and he was holding what appeared to be a large spear in his lap as he smirked down at the marines.

“Hey kid! Get off that roof before the storm kills you!” one of the men said.

The young man let out a chuckle at the man’s words and stood up, “How pathetic.” He raised up his spear towards the sky, “To think that you hard-boiled men are afraid of an artificial storm?” A flash of lightning appeared and struck the spear but the young man holding it  was still standing, not affected at all by the lightning. It was as if he was controlling the lighting itself as it stayed on the tip of the spear glowing ominously.

“HUH?!?!! WHAT THE HELL???!!!” the men shouted, “IS HE A MONSTER?”

The lieutenant’s eyes widened as realization hit him, “No…it can’t be! I’d heard rumors from the higher ranks but I didn’t think they were true! That boy…that boy is The Storm Bringer!”

Gold eyes lit up and the teen grinned, “Is that what they’re calling me? I can’t wait to tell my uncles!” then he rubbed the back of his head, “Although mother might scold me for gaining such an awful reputation.”

“Your mother?!”

“Unbelievable! What kind of mother raises a child like this?”

“Hey now, you can say all you want about me but taking bad about my mother is unacceptable.” The kid said as he pointed his spear towards the marine who offended him, “Mellan!”

The Marine was suddenly screaming as he was stuck with a small blast of lightning before falling to the ground and writhing in pain. The others looked on in horror. “H-He…he took down that man without lifting a finger!”

The lieutenant glared and gritted his teeth in irritation, “Fall back men, it’s clear that this child needs to be taught how a real man fights instead of such cheap tactics!”

The teen’s eyes lit up with a sadistic look, “Well it’s about time I had someone new to play with!”

“You’re an overconfident little bastard aren’t you?” The lieutenant said as he drew his sword only to find a blade blocking his hand, “Wh-what the-?!” He followed the blade which led to a tall man in a feathered black jacket with similar golden eyes. The Lieutenant felt sweat build on his brow, “Y-You?!”

“I’m going to have to ask you to withdraw Lieutenant.” The man said and looked up at the teen, “As his father, I’ll take responsibility for his behavior.” He held out a hand, “Room.”

Suddenly the positions of the Lieutenant and the teen were swapped and the orange haired teen glared at the man while the lieutenant stood on the roof completely confused by what just happened. “Wh-What the? Don’t just stand there idiots! Take them out!”

“Shambles.”

Suddenly body parts and screams littered the area and the Lieutenant looked on in horror at the scene below him.

“Gross.” The teen scoffed as he knocked away the head of one Marine with the base of his spear.

“You…you’ll pay for this! Both of you will pay for this with your lives!” The lieutenant screamed.

The teen pointed his spear towards the Lieutenant, “Terminate.” And suddenly the lieutenant was engulfed a large bolt of lightning before falling off the roof onto the ground completely knocked out.

“How disappointing.” He quipped before he turned his attention to the man, “You interrupted my fight father!”

“You were surrounded.”

“They came at me first! I was only minding my own business until they insulted mother!” The teen said, “Besides I could have taken them!”

“Zephyr.” A tattooed hand was placed over his covered head, one of his father’s rare affections, “Let’s go back to the ship.”

Zephyr’s gold eyes looked away in embarrassment, “…Whatever.”

Law smirked down at the boy before turning around, his son following behind him, “You’re gaining a terrible reputation, Storm Bringer Trafalgar Zephyr.”

Zephyr smirked back, “It’ll never be as nasty as yours, Surgeon of Death. So, is there still marmalade on the ship or did Bepo eat it all again?”

“There is, your mother made sure we had plenty…” he trailed off and then frowned before stopping in place.

Zephyr raised an eyebrow, “Let me guess…you forgot Uncle Black Leg’s bread?”

“….”

“Really dad? I know you don’t like bread but how else am I supposed to make a marmalade sandwich without it?!”

“There’s crackers.”

“THAT’S NOT ANYWHERE NEAR THE SAME!”

A/N: So a few things, Trafalgar Zephyr, 14 years old, doesn’t have a devil fruit ability but he did inherit his mother’s uncanny abilities to predict weather so his fighting style is based off of hers. He was also trained by his uncles and his own father but his weapon of choice is a spear. Zephyr also a bit of a tsundere when it comes to his father he acts like he’s not impressed but he really idolizes Law and wishes he could be as cool as him. Also his favorite food to eat is a marmalade sandwich but he is willing to compromise and eat it on crackers since his father loathes bread.

#Drabble #Opfanfic #Trafalgar Law #OC child #Nami #LawNami #op #tsundere child #parenting #kids do the darndest things

[jess-21990]

Kid: 1

Mahiro: 0

P.s: did anyone else think when reading this "This lil boy totally looks like a lil girl" or what it just me? XD

#voltage inc #voltage otome #voltage games #mahiro nanase #first love diaries a kiss on the beach #kids say the darndest things #kids do the darndest things

[enormous-moose]

Anyone else remember being 5 years old staying up late to watch America's Most Wanted and learning about all the terrible unsolved crimes in the country?

At five years old I heard about the BTK douche and other unsolved crimes all while not understanding what the fuck I was watching and I completely didn't care. I'd listen to those stories about serial rapists, murderers, kidnappers etc... And completely not care.

It's no wonder I love true crime and am obsessed with learning about serial killers and other true crime.

On another note turn on jaws or Chucky and I'm a fucking baby that can't watch the whole thing.

#true crime #americas most wanted #kids do the darndest things #wtf was going on!

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

was playing a game with kiddos where they had to name different types of candy (specifically kinds of candy not in bar form)

and this little four-year-old raised his hand and when i called on him, he said:

“CORN DOG!”

and i about died

#anyway that’s how i’m doing #notyouraveragejulie works #kids say the darndest things

[green5quirrel]

I'm Really Good With Kids.

I was at TJ Maxx yesterday after work.

A little blonde girl (2yrs old to 5 yrs old? I'm not good with ages) was in the clearance section with me, her mom, and her younger sibling. She came up to me holding a Popsicle set that was missing 2 Popsicle sticks.

Little blonde girl: Are you a police?

Me: I'm not police. Are you?

LBG: ...no.

LBG: Why aren't you police?

Me: I dunno. Why aren't you?

LBG: (No response as her mom gave a laugh and a stray comment of disbelief at why her little girl was asking if I was a cop.)

LBG: Why is this missing? (Indicates the Popsicle tray bereft of two raspberry shaped plastic sticks.)

Me: (Attempts to explain the mechanics of why things are put in a clearance section when they are seen as flawed without going on a rant of how genuinely upsetting living in a capitalist society is and how much waste it continues to create for useless things like plastic molded raspberry Popsicle sticks and trays while also still here I am shopping in the clearance section in a TJ Maxx so how hypocritical of me...)

LBG: Okay... (It may been a bit above her pay grade. Still not sure of her age.)

LBG: Can I buy this?

What I should have said: Well, technically, as neither one of us are police, you could attempt to steal it. I wouldn't tell anyone.

What I said: I dunno. You probably should ask your mom.

I'm really good with kids.

#all kids look the same age to me until they reach a point where they can confidently without prompt tell me their age #she could've gotten away with it too because she was adorable and white #was she a recruiter #cause that would be sneaky as hell #her mom said no because they already had popsicle making stuff at home #her sibling started crying and she was chastised and she apologized and i feel like this is how traumas begin really #but her mom was doing the best and i don't begrudge her for that #i really should have told her to steal it #kid conversations #kids say the darndest things

[maroononthemoon]

My kids watching Nimona for the fourth time, the moment the queen dies my 5 year old goes "not again are you kidding me right now??"

#personal #random #nimona #kids say the darndest things #my kids #cant believe this is happening again #havent you learned to not do that by now guys? come on

[this-threadbare-beauty]

#polls #kids say the darndest things or whatever lol #they’re a funny bunch #i wish i could remember more but they say funny things everyday #idk if anyone will care about this but #it’s been a hard week so i had to remind myself why i love what i do even when it’s frustrating #i couldn’t fit all of the context for all of this but honestly it’s funnier that way

[christiandomme]

My niece, a fourth grader, who loves Hallmark movies and ‘true love’ stories and who snuck her way to the adult table for Thanksgiving was telling me over turkey about her current favorite love stories and then said “That’s why Frida and Diego are my favorite and so I’m glad I’m writing a report on her for school”

It took my brain half a minute to catch up and realize her favorite love story was Frida KAHLO and Diego RIVERA and not fictional characters from a movie.

Then my spouse and I locked eyes across the table because we are not sure how we feel about those two being #relationshipgoals lol.

And then the niece explains how romantic it is that they divorced but then remarried and I took the road of lesser resistance, said “People’s lives take them on all sorts of unexpected journeys.” and * pivoted * the convo.

It was adorable and hilarious and I am so grateful she knows she can share her thoughts and interests with us.

This week has been full of bemusing and delightful interactions with kids including explaining the concept of car insurance to a six year old.

#really real life #get to know me #holiday #thanksgiving #kids say the darndest things #frida kahlo #diego rivera #I do appreciate her having the cultural representation of Frida as an artist and historical figure in fourth grade

[ahhvernin]

I finally, finally had the experience of hearing a parent, a dad no less, have this conversation with his kid at a supermarket.

Kid: What cereal is this? Dad: Those are corn pops. Kid: Oh! Dad, I want corn pops. Dad: You picked out corn pops a month ago and you didn't like it. Kid: NO!!!!! I liked it!!! Dad: You threw the box on the ground, and started to feed the dog with it. Kid: But I want corn pops! Dad: Do you want the cereal or do you like the picture on the box? Kid: THE CORN POOOOOOOPS!!

Dad: don't you like ....... *picks up box* frosted flakes more? Kid: NO! I HATE FROSTED FLAKES! I WANT CORN POPS! Dad: REALLY?! Kid: I HATE FROSTED FLAKES! I WANT CORN POPS! Dad: *Bends down with the box still in his hand* If you hate Frosted flakes so much why did you get mad at me when I ate the last of the box this morning?! Kid: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#kids say the darndest things #kids #parenting #Dad knew what he was doing. He played his hand and now the kid didn't know what to say

[goodnightmoonvale]

My 5yo snuck in to sleep in my bed at some point last night (as he does).

This morning as I was slowly regaining consciousness and trying to move in a way that didn't dislodge him, he woke up, rolled out the side of the bed, shouted "woohoo!!!" and ran off before I could fully process what happened.

#I'm still chuckling to myself #what an absolutely ridiculous thing to do #5yos are just Like That #kids say the darndest things

[moonchildmisadventures]

Misadventures in Teaching: Why is My Life Not Already a Sitcom Edition 🫠

👱🏼: Life is just stress, stress, stress, and then, you die.

👩🏼: What are you talking about? Why are you stressed?

🧑🏼: I’m not, but you usually seem like you are.

👦🏻: *holds up lip balm* What’s this?

👩🏼: It’s for your lips. *puts on to demonstrate*

👦🏻: Oh!

👩🏼: *turns head for 2 seconds*

👦🏻: *is putting on my lip balm*

👩🏼: …cool.

While feeding a student who needs help eating…

👩🏼: OH MY GOSH! Am I that out of it?

👦🏼: What?

👩🏼: I thought this was apple sauce and was about to feed it to you with a spoon. This is honey mustard!!

👦🏼: WHAT?!

What indeed. One more week!

#teach #teaching #teaching irl #teacher #teacher life #teacher problems #misadventures in teaching #things my students say #things my students do #shit my students say #shit my students do #kids say the darndest things #never a dull moment

[long-sleeved-sandwich]

my 11 year old cousin just found out today that cardi b is not, in fact, japanese.

*playing Money*

me: hey (my cousin) did you know cardi is dominican?

my cousin: no isn’t she japanese??

me: japanese????

my cousin: yeah i just always thought she was japanese. like “cardi b” “konichiwa” it sounds like the same language.

#apparently cardi b is japanese #konichiwa=cardi b #cardi b #cardi #shit kids say #shit kids do #kids say the darndest things #gen alpha #gen alpha is built different #república dominicana #dominican republic #dominicana #dominican #trinidad #trinidad and tobago #trinidadian #rap #hip hop #new york

[davidcorenswct]

U like to get rimmed

margarita rimmed, sure

#answered #//kids really do say the darndest things on the internet nowadays...

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

*context: i am at the playground watching a bunch of 4-6 year olds because my work is running a district-wide day camp because today is a federal holiday and the kids have no school. i am discussing carnivals and theme parks with two of the kids, but only one of them is really relevant to the story.*

me: have you ever eaten funnel cake?

kiddos: no

me: one time i ate an entire funnel cake all by myself

kiddo who is relevant to this story: did eating that funnel cake give you these?

*kiddo points to my chest*

me: *initially horrified* um, NO??? *calms down* uh…people just grow and get new body parts when they get older

*a few minutes later, i am discussing the above with the other counselor outside when the kiddos come back*

other counselor: have you ever had funnel cake

kiddos: no

kiddo from earlier: miss savannah said you get new body parts when you get older, and you eat cake on your birthday, so cake makes you get new body parts!

me, finally understanding: oh no no no honey eating cake does not make you get older and grow new body parts. that does not happen every time you eat any kind of cake. people just like to eat cake on their birthday when they already are getting older.

kiddo: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#anyway that’s how i’m doing #still trying to puzzle this one out lmao #kids say the darndest things #notyouraveragejulie works