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gossip-girl-of-middleearth · 2 years

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HI I don’t know if your request are open so I figured I would send one anyway and then if they were closed you could just ignore it lol

BUT I had this idea and it’s been in my head for days and I don’t feel like writing it myself soooooo

Do you think you can do a one-shot or, yk, whatever you’re comfortable with, for a Legolas x Reader where the reader is kinda like Jaskier? Like they’re dramatic af, are a bard, and isn’t an elf but has somehow just been alive and in peak condition for way longer then they should’ve been? Like Legolas and Reader don’t really get along at first when they met because Reader was traveling with Thorin and Company and stuff and even after he figured out they weren’t bad he was still like “my GOD are they annoying.”

And then Gandalf seeks them out after the fellowship is formed they’re actually super useful bc they know like 10 languages, have traveled almost everywhere, and is actually very good with a sword. Gandalf brings the fellowship to a seemingly random tavern and Legolas just stops bc he recognizes them immediately and is just like “oh my god, PLEASE NOT THEM FU—“

But yk after that they like fall in love and shiz 🙄

SORRY THIS IS LIKE SO SPECIFIC OR UR NOT TAKING REQUEST it’s just I love ur writing, no other lotr blogs I’ve found are taking request, and also you seem to like Jaskier so I figured u might enjoy this a little ?? 😭😭

ANYWAYS EVEN IF YOU DON’T WRITE THIS THANKS FOR READING IT AND I LOVE UR WRITING SM ITS SO GOOD 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Sing Me A River (Legolas x Bard! Reader)

Author’s Note: HELLOOOO, FELLOW DEAR HEART! My requests technically are always open, it’s just a matter of if I ever get around to them lmao. Naturally, I get a lot of requests. Even more naturally, someone requests something and throws the word ‘Jaskier’ in there I’m writing this baby ASAP. Now, this thing grew legs of its own so you’ll probably have to request a part two in the asks so I can get that to you. I just really wanted to put something out tonight, so boom, two-parter. Maybe three. Hey, let’s just see where it goes. Now, believe me when I say I tried to find a gif that wasn’t Jaskier, but apparently if you type in ‘medieval bard lute gif’ into Google images Jaskier is the golden child of the hour. Anywhooooo hope this is what you were going for! I’ll get onto part two soon — you just gotta put it in the asks!

Warnings: Crude jokes made by reader all for the sake of the guts and glory of an epic banger of a song. Mentions adult content. (Bards will be bards).

Synopsis: Like all relevant characters of Middle-earth back in the day, you joined the Company on their Go-Fund-Me campaign to reclaim Erebor. You were a nobody bard back then but the success of your relations with kings and stories of defeating dragons made you a big hit. Speaking of hit, you and Legolas don’t get on. You made one too many hits about him that painted his royal family in a bad light. Oops. Now, Sauron is back and the Fellowship may just need your help. It’s mostly just Gandalf vouching for you, though. Oh, and fangirl Boromir ofc. They find you singing a frankly defamatory song about Legolas in a lively tavern at the height of your fame (you’re essentially One Direction circa 2012 big in Middle-earth in this fic). Tension brews as you’re ultimately asked to join a second Go-Fund-Me campaign.

The evening was late in hour but early of chores, as Gandalf and Elrond poured themselves over maps of Middle-earth. Various members of the newly-formed Fellowship hung about the open-aired room, pondering each other with curious glances.

Everyone shifted uncomfortably, wondering who’d prove to be the best travel mate for the next few months. It was as if no one knew what to do with their hands or feet, as they stood about awkwardly.

What was there to talk about, anyway? Economic investments and the rising housing crisis in the wake of the upcoming war? With so many races in the room, it was hard to navigate cultural customs, let alone figure out who was of what social standing based on clothing alone. A prince certainly had no place discussing such mutual matters with a gardener, nor a Captain of Gondor with a ranger.

No, it was best everyone waited until Gandalf and Elrond announced a travel route.

“This would steer you best from the path of both Isengard and its scouts,” Elrond concluded, pointing and dragging one finger down the tattered map.

“That’ll bring us into long-overrun townships,” Gandalf pointed out. “Middle-earth is no longer the safely presumptuous-centric land it used to be. People from all over Arda have now flocked for its resources and previously-thought safety.”

“Secrecy is best bought when surrounded by languages that cannot understand you nor you them,” Elrond countered, raising a brow and looking up at the wizard.

Gandalf raised a hand and scratched at his wiry beard. “No… But perhaps we could benefit from an additional team member for the passage? One who knows, say, ten languages across the seas and land underfoot?”

Elrond’s face quickly fell into disapproval. He moved back from the map as if standing too close to it would conjure up the bard’s presence alone, for said bard certainly dwelled somewhere within it, if the local posters unceremoniously plastered on historical podiums in Rivendell detailing the latest show were proof enough alone.

Legolas noticed this behaviour and kicked himself off the wall. He’d had run-ins with bards before – or, one, at least, and one was certainly enough. He quit twirling a knife in his hands, a gift from his father for his begetday long ago, and paid close attention.

“Ten languages would most certainly aid you, but…” the usually reserved lord made a face of cringe, “must you really bring along your friend? Do you even know where they are?”

Gandalf suddenly looked bashful. He reached into his satchel and removed a flyer. It had your pouty face on it and colourful words detailing where your next show was and the date. “I meant to visit them for one of their shows, before getting side-tracked…”

Elrond tried to not judge his friend, as he glanced up from your poster and back to Gandalf. He raised his brows and sighed, resigning himself to the idea. You had certainly grown in fame over the last few decades since your efforts in fighting the dragon fueled your reputation and songs, and certainly the fame had added to your already eccentric ego.

“Very well, if that is your will, I will support it… Just, don’t invite them back for a concert, please; my sons are still recovering from the last one, as is my winery.”

Gandalf nodded at the lord and smiled. “Nonsense, our bard is of the utmost integrity. I have nothing but faith.”

Legolas looked between the lord and wizard, quirking a brow. He tried to view the poster before it was placed back inside the satchel, but alas Gandalf unknowingly blocked his view.

But then, the prince suddenly recalled you in full detail from the fight against the dragon, and your time spent in the Mirkwood dungeons. You were clearly mortal, and that was many years ago.

Satisfied with the thought, Legolas nodded to himself in reassurance. There was no way you were still alive and kicking. With any luck, you were fast asleep in a chair somewhere, millions of leagues away.

Oh, you were in a chair alright. Except standing on top of it, one foot on the backrest and one on the seat. You certainly weren’t asleep, either, nor was your performance lulling anyone into such a slumber. There would be no lullabies here tonight, good sir.

Instead, on top of the chair, you belted out lyrics to the song you wrote about your time captured in Mirkwood with the Company, using the foot on the backrest to push the chair downwards, where you dramatically landed on the floor and kept on playing around the lively tavern with your lute.

Folks of all nationalities and origins joined in, for how could they not? You knew how to play the song in over ten different languages and were finally onto the Common Speech version. Everyone sung along as you made your way around the floor, illuminated in a thousand different arrays of golden candlelight.

You alluded to the Mirkwood Elves being absolute idiots, to put it lightly. It was only unfortunate that the Fellowship, led by Gandalf, walked in the moment you made a crude innuendo about Legolas’ hair being nearly as pasty as the spider’s webs surrounding his forested home. Something about incest, too.

It wasn’t very nice, but what could you say? You hated the pretentious white-haired family and they you. Perhaps composing a ballad with the dwarves about the elves’ wine-stained teeth in the dungeons planted the seed of distaste in the first place, but alas.

Gimli clapped his hands merrily and tapped his foot. “Oh-ho-ho! ‘Tis a CLASSIC back home! I’ve been meaning to meet the bard from my father’s tales for many years now! What an honourable night. Let us drink to it!”

Pippin nodded faster than light at Gimli and then Merry, speaking before racing off with his cousin and dwarven friend to the bar.

“Aye! We’ve heard this one, too! Even all the way out in the Shire!” Pippin looked up at Legolas, who’d just walked in with Aragorn right behind him. “Funny, I didn’t know there were other white-haired elves such as yourself and your father in Mirkwood, your highness. What are the chances of that!”

Just then, you sung of Legolas by title and name, confirming every crude lyric to be indeed about him towards the end of the song. Something mean about his father, too.

Pippin’s mouth parted and his brows shot up in surprise. He quickly shrugged it off, though – looking up at the elf casually before joining Merry and Gimli by the bar. “Oh, they are singing about you! That makes more sense!”

Legolas furrowed his own brows, looking away from the departing hobbit and across the tavern right as you came to the finale of the song, earning rapturous applause. And then, his eyes grew wide.

Gandalf looked bashful as he stood with Boromir. The captain was grinning at your performance – whistling as you took a dramatic bow as the cheers carried on. Frodo and Sam looked between each other but shared a silent nod, and afterwards, they joined the rest at the bar.

Seething, the prince snapped his gaze up at Gandalf. “THEM? Are you SERIOUS? How could you possibly not tell me?! They are the most arrogant, dim-witted, crude, annoying—”

“Now, now, Legolas,” Gandalf cut in, placing a hand on the swiftly rising elf’s shoulders. “Y/n and yourself may have an… adverse history, but that whole Mirkwood incident was put to rest years ago. If I recall, you both parted ways amicably at the end of the battle. There may have even been a smile, too, if I recall very well!”

“Overjoyed to be rid, as I remember it,” Legolas rolled his eyes, landing them in your direction. You took a sip of ale and felt a gaze, or, glare, lingering in your direction. When you locked eyes with the angry ones of the prince, you widened them for only a moment, before narrowing them and smirking mischievously.

Oh, he didn’t like that.

Hoisting your sloshing ale out to the side, you widened both arms. You were stood atop a tavern table, now pointing in the prince’s direction.

“Oh, my stars! Do my eyes deceive me?” Your naturally loud voice caught the attention of the tavern again, who all no doubt were hoping for an encore. “Ladies and gentleman, if it isn’t the star of the hour! Well, besides me, of course – but no, I should share the limelight; it’s the muse of my song, Legolas of the Woodland Realm!”

Everyone all looked in his direction. Many laughed loudly, some whistled appreciatively, and others who believed the lyrics muttered behind cupped hands to conceal their words and grins.

Aragorn shifted uncomfortably. It wasn’t good to bring this much attention to themselves, especially given the circumstances. One look from Aragorn sent up at Gandalf voiced his concern. The wizard nodded back and drew you over with a beckoning hand.

You finished off the rest of your ale and encouraged other bards to pick up the music again. Once the sound of flutes and lutes filled the air, you made your way through the crowd, placing your hand over your heart and responding earnestly to every compliment as you walked past.

"Y/n! I saw you play when I was a child!"

"My niece is a HUGE fan!"

"Do you sing at weddings?!"

And soon enough, you were in front of the trio.

“Gandalf the Grey,” you grinned up, slinging your lute across your back.

He responded warmly, throwing your bard title in as he did so. “You’ve exceeded your previous standing upon the pedestal of fame. Apparently, this song has been heard all over the land.”

At the mention of the song, you turned to Legolas. “Ahh, has it now? Judging by the star-struck expression upon your oddly fine-tuned visage, I’m guessing this is your first time?”

Legolas narrowed his eyes and kept them locked on yours. “First and last time.”

Without missing a beat, you replied, “Aw, buddy. Don’t worry. Being a two-thousand-year-old virgin isn’t that weird. Don’t count yourself out just yet.”

His face dropped. “Wha—No! That’s not at all what I—”

“I must say, dear bard,” Boromir cut in, firmly shaking your hand. “My little brother and I have seen you perform in Gondor before, and we are both great admirers of your work. Might I please trouble you for a signature made out to ‘Faramir’? I might not get this opportunity again.”

You shrugged it off coolly. “Yeah, sure! Always happy to meet a fan!”

Legolas stared in horror at the interaction for a moment. “What is happening right now..?”

Aragorn placed a hand on his shoulder and stepped in. “Y/n, I’m afraid we have not only come for review of your work tonight.”

At that, he looked up at Gandalf urgingly. The wizard sighed and nodded. “Indeed not. Might there be somewhere more private we can talk?”

Briefly looking up from the signature you were writing on a handkerchief, you nodded your head from side to side in thought and pursed your lips, speaking as you wrote. “I’ve got a room here. I’m not sure we’ll all fit, but I suppose we can figure something out."

You sent a wink Legolas’ way, whose face was still frozen somewhere between contemplation, shock, and horror.

“You should be dead,” he decided upon moments later.

Feigning alarm, you looked over your shoulder. “Why? The song really that bad? You hired the world’s worst assassin to take me out and they couldn’t even finish the job?”

Learning how to dance with your words again, Legolas replied straight to the point. “You look the same as you did all those years ago. You’re mortal. You should be dead, or very, very elderly, at the least.”

You blinked back at him. “Was there a question in there somewhere, or…?”

Noticing all the attention you were drawing, Gandalf and Aragorn decided to usher this meeting along elsewhere.

“Ah, Y/n,” Gandalf slid in, smiling tensely as he noticed Legolas’ fingers curl backwards, as if instinctively reaching for his bow. “Perhaps we should continue this upstairs? We have much to discuss, as mentioned before.”

You raked your eyes over the prince’s face for a further few seconds. He all but glared back. You dropped your eyes to his hands, noticing the way they curled the same as the wizard did. Smirking, you looked back up into the prince’s eyes – locking them there as you responded to Gandalf.

“Great idea.”

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essenceofarda · 5 months

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I'm attempting to satisfy 10-year-old-me's deepest desire in life:

Lord of the rings, but like, star wars au

no! wait! Don't go! I know, i KNOW, I'm a grown woman I should be well past the years of silly crossovers but I am in mighty NEED of drawing my fave tolkien characters swinging lightsabers about 😔

i need feedback on something tho: Thinking of maybe modifying a VERy important aspect of one of the star wars' universal laws,,, mainly bc this au takes place in what would be pre-order 66 days, aka with an intact Republic, and with so many of the lotr characters being related to each other i'm like 'either NO one is a jedi or I get rid of the requirement for complete emotional detachment'

also bc i really REALLY want Faramir to be a jedi but like, still kinda part of his family?? the way i'm kinda thinking of compromising is he's not officially (like, legally or whatever) part of his family as a Jedi but damn try to tell Boromir that he can't be besties with his little bro anymore lol

Anyway i'm doodling some art for the au lmk if y'all would like to see any art for this au ?

#on the one hand i'm like 'This au is so much fun to develop! :D #on the other hand tolkien would like.. hate the stoic emotionlessness of the jedi order LMAO #i mean i guess that's the POINT they were a deeply DEEPLY flawed institution in canon LOL

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sleepdeprivedsimp234 · 2 months

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Do u have any Illinois headcanons???? :D

Here yes small child take some hc’s :D

This man would be straight up lying if he said that he didn’t like when NY braided flowers into his hair and that he hasn’t occasionally asked NY to do it again.

Somehow despite dropping out of school at 15, he’s actually pretty damn smart. Just don’t put anything math related in front of him.

I personally kinda see him as a dirty blonde, though he has patches of bleach blonde in his hair.

^because you know what his dumbass did? He bleached and dyed parts of his hair for a Halloween costume without acknowledging that the bleaching would be permanent. Yeah.

Bro has some bright vibrant Gollum (from LOTR) lookin ass eyes 😭

In terms of a sense of humor, he’s just like Minnesota with the dad jokes. EXCEPT. He tells them because he knows that they’re bad and he knows that it annoys the other states.

He screams like a girl. Idk why. He just does.

#welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #ben brainard #wttt #wttsh #wttt illinois #wttsh illinois

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frodo-with-glasses · 2 years

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This is a post about Ghân-buri-Ghân and the Woses, or the Wild Men.

Full disclosure: When I was a kid, I pretty much skipped this part. I was already getting very lost with the logistics of the Rohirrim’s movement, and I was very impatient for Merry and Pippin to be reunited already and Frodo and Sam to be done with the quest and back on home turf. I was having a hard enough time telling the difference between Gondor and Rohan (every other race in Middle Earth only gets one country that’s very important, but for the most boring race of them all I’m supposed to keep track of two?? preposterous), and having yet another group of humans pop up out of nowhere just to disappear after half a chapter left me baffled and annoyed.

After all, the Wild Men are pretty much disconnected from everything else in the story, aren’t they? They aren’t related to any of the characters we’ve met already. They’re not personal friends with any members of the Fellowship, or even friends with the friends of the members of the Fellowship. They have very little to do with Rohan and Gondor, and nothing at all to do with elves or dwarves or ents or hobbits or wizards or anything else that Little Me thought were the Important Parts of the story. If you took your cue from the movies, this opinion would only seem reinforced: the Riders of Rohan reach Minas Tirith with no complications greater than a Mumakil, and the Wild Men aren’t mentioned even once. If you didn’t know better, you might think the Wild Men are little more than an extraneous detour.

But it’s exactly because they seem extraneous that I think we need to pay them extra attention. Tolkien is not a careless storyteller; he’s long-winded, for sure, and has a knack for descriptions in excruciating detail, but he’s not careless. Every word, every sentence, every line of dialogue and narration and poetry exists in the story for a reason. If Tolkien didn’t have to put the Wild Men in the story—if they weren’t strictly necessary to the plot, save to solve one problem that (let’s be honest) kinda looks like it was invented just so they could fix it—that means he wanted to put them there. He wanted them there, because he wanted to tell us something.

I think it behooves us to listen.

So what is Tolkien trying to say? I have no idea. The man’s dead, and I can’t ask him. But the message I’m getting here has two parts:

1. The World Is Big

If nothing else, the Woses serve as a reminder that Middle Earth is much, much bigger than even Lord of the Rings makes it out to be. That’s saying something, because LotR isn’t a small story! This is a grand legend that stretches across nations, from one horizon to the other in an epic trek, and yet it still fails to capture Middle Earth in its every detail. Entire nations and kingdoms get lost in the wash, or are only mentioned in passing, and some names we only see in the maps at the back of the book.

Remember, Tolkien’s framing device for LotR is that it was an eyewitness account, a history written by the hobbits and supplemented with accounts from their friends. The POV characters we’ve had so far—if I’m remembering correctly—are Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Fatty Bolger, Bilbo, Aragorn, Gimli, and a sort of omniscient narrator that seems to represent “hearsay” or “local gossip”. If any of these characters didn’t witness something and come back to report it, then it didn’t make it into the story. If they didn’t go someplace, or meet some people, and come back to tell about it, then it didn’t make it into the story.

But just because the unnamed peoples of Middle Earth don’t get into the histories doesn’t make them any less important. Just because we don’t learn their names doesn’t mean they didn’t suffer under the fear of Sauron, or rejoice when he was defeated. Just because we don’t know them doesn’t make them any less…well, for lack of a better word, human, or any less important.

The War of the Ring mattered just as much to the Wild Men as it did to Gondor or Rohan or the Shire. Because the War of the Ring was about saving their world too.

2. A Treatise on Treatment of Native Peoples

Again, I’m only trying to reiterate what I can see of Tolkien’s opinion in this passage. I happen to agree with a lot of what he says, but we’re talking about him, not me.

The Woses are, as far as I can tell, the closest thing to an indigenous or native people group in the southern region of Middle Earth. Obviously they must have come from somewhere—anyone who’s read the Silmarillion could probably fill me in on that—but Ghan-buri-Ghan says himself that “Wild Men live here before the Stone-houses; before Tall Men come up out of Water”. The Wild Men preceded the settlement of Gondor, and inhabited the land even before the Numenorians; they were here First, and still they remain.

So, how does Tolkien portray this native people group? Well, the first thing he does is to say—hilariously and pointedly—that the Wild Men are anything but stupid. Ghan warns, in his broken speech, that Mordor’s forces outnumber the Rohirrim, and Eomer challenges this assertion—“how do you know that?”—to which Ghan says, if I may paraphrase, “boi I’m not a child I can count as well as you can”. The first point made is that, though the Wild Men may seem ugly and primitive and are clad only in grass skirts, they are as shrewd as the tacticians of Rohan, and maybe even more.

The next thing that happens is that Ghan strikes a deal: he and his people will lead the Rohirrim to Minas Tirith by long-forgotten roads, and in exchange, the men of Rohan must battle to drive off the Darkness so that the Wild Men may go back to their lives in peace. Of course, this arrangement benefits both parties; both are in danger, and both have a common enemy. To see the end of the Darkness would be infinitely valuable to them both.

This is fascinating to me, because you can’t really say that one party here was “using” the other, or that one benefited at the other’s expense. Yes, the Rohirrim gained the guidance of the Wild Men, which furthered their goal; but in the end, it only put them one step closer to possible death on the battlefield against a great Enemy. Yes, the Wild Men get to sit back and watch the Horse-Men risk their lives in open war, but if they should fail, what then? By helping Rohan, they are establishing themselves as an enemy of Sauron; whether Ghan realizes it or not—and personally, I think he does—this single act of defiance is putting a target on the backs of his people, should the Enemy emerge victorious. Sure, they can hide in the forests for a while—as long as there are forests. But not forever. I think that’s why Ghan takes his stand now; he knows there might not be another chance.

Ghan has established that he is shrewd, straightforward, and honorable. He even vows that he will lead the Rohirrim himself, and that they may kill him if he steers them wrong; he’s that willing to stake his life on his word. But when Theoden promises to handsomely reward Ghan for his help and his faithfulness, Ghan only asks for one thing in return: “if you live after the Darkness, then leave Wild Men alone in the woods and do not hunt them like beasts anymore”.

There’s something in me that kinda…twinges, when I read this. Like I’m half-remembering a bolt of anger from Baby Me before I checked out of this passage entirely. How dare this book imply that these kind, noble horse-people would be so cruel and barbaric as to hunt other human beings like animals? Wasn’t this the same people whose king accepted Merry like a son, and who provided Gandalf with the best horse in the world? These are the GOOD guys! They wouldn’t do something like that! The book doesn’t know what it’s talking about, clearly. I wish I could get back to the hobbits again.

But now that I’m older, I think it’s more telling that Rohan isn’t spotless and blameless in this transaction. They have wronged the Wild Men in the past; out of ignorance, maybe, and out of prejudice, perhaps, and out of fear, almost certainly. We all fear what is foreign to us and what we don’t understand. But Ghan is putting that aside for the moment. Ghan chooses to extend forgiveness. For once, his people and Rohan face a greater evil, and they unite against a common enemy. All of the sudden, Rohan has an opportunity to make amends for all their wrongs, by “driving away the bad air and darkness with bright iron”.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about the historical treatment of native people groups in our real world. The archetypal example, of course, is the European settlers and the native tribes of North America; but we see the same thing in Central and South America too, and that’s not even getting into the British Empire’s other affairs in Egypt and India and China and Oceania. I could talk about the Spanish conquistadors; I could talk about the Dutch in South Africa and apartheid. But it goes even further back than that. It’s what the Roman Empire did to the Germanic peoples of Gaul; what the Islamic Empire did to the entire Middle East and much of Northern Africa; what the Babylonians and Persians and the Mesopotamian superpower of the week did to their vassal states on a regular basis. Standard practice in Babylonia was to invade a place and immediately ship all the smart, strong, and wealthy people off to Babylon to be assimilated, leaving behind the weak, poor, unlearned, and destitute to till the land and keep their heads down. Can’t have a rebellion if everyone’s too dumb and starving to organize it.

(Incidentally, the Roman Empire is what gave us the word “barbarian”; the speech of the Germanic peoples they conquered was unintelligible to them and sounded like “bar-bar-bar”, so they named them after it. The fact that the word they coined now refers to a ruthless, stupid, uncouth person should tell you a lot about the Roman Empire’s opinion of these folks.)

Anyway, the point is that throughout history, there’s always been a pattern: up comes this people group who’s smarter and more advanced than anybody else, and they think that gives them free rein to go wherever they want, do whatever they want, and use, abuse, and extort the people they see as “beneath” them. The Romans had figured out indoor plumbing by the time of Christ, and they thought they were such hot stuff that they took over the Mediterranean and taxed the living daylights out of them. (Some estimates put the tax rate at about 90%. 90!! Imagine keeping only a tenth of your paycheck every month. I know it already feels like that, but still!)

We’d do well to address the question that Baby Me probably thought when I read this for the first time: “Why can’t the Wild Men just be Men of Rohan?” Why can’t they put on real clothes, and pick up spears and swords, and get on horses and ride into battle and make a real contribution? Why do they insist on going back to their primitive lives? Perhaps part of the reason the Men of Rohan felt justified in hunting the Wild Men is because they saw them as more crude and less advanced people; “they live in the forests, clad only in grass, hunting and sleeping under the stars like dangerous wild animals, and therefore must be treated as such”.

But let me ask you a question: Aren’t the people of Rohan primitive too? Aragorn describes them as “unlearned, not writing any books but singing many songs”; how is that any different from the songs that may be passed down by Ghan-buri-Ghan’s people? Isn’t Rohan crude and simple in its own way, at least in comparison to some others? Just because they build houses of wood and speak with fair, beautiful speech doesn’t mean they are better than those who don’t. If Rohan had the right to treat the Wild Men as they wished—because, as “civilized people”, they were so much smarter and more advanced—then Saruman had the right to treat Rohan as he wished—because, as a Wizard, he was so much smarter and more advanced.

I want you to get this. If Rohan does not check itself here and humbly accept the Woses as equals, then Rohan is no better than Saruman.

Thankfully, Rohan does pass the test. One of Theoden’s greatest traits is his humility, and it serves him well here. A deal is struck, a path is cut, and the Wild Men make their contribution and disappear into the forests, with only a lingering portent that the wind is changing, and maybe the times with it. The book says that they were “never to be seen by any Rider of Rohan again”; by which I take it that Rohan’s side of the promise was upheld, and the Wild Men lived on, in their own ways, unmolested, in the Druadan Forest until the end of time.

I don’t have a way to end this, but maybe that’s appropriate to the subject matter; like the Wild Men themselves, this post will appear out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly as it came. I just think the Woses are fascinating—both for in-universe and meta reasons—in spite of, and perhaps because of my initial annoyance all those years ago.

We will return to your daily crack post tomorrow LOL

#ghan-buri-ghan #the wild men #lord of the rings #lotr #lotr meta #my writing #there are no tags on tumblr for ghan-buri-ghan or the wild men or anything like that #literally no one is talking about these guys #they are the cryptids that they were always meant to be #in which i wax eloquent about the roman empire and history nerd stuff for WAY too long

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nihilizzzm · 3 months

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Tolkien ask game

I was tagged by @marsharmonicorchestra , thank you so much it was such fun to answer those. I honestly love that kind of games 🤩🤩

How old were you when you read/watched LOTR for the first time? I was a Harry Potter kid and none of my parents/aunts/uncles/anyone really was into fantasy genre, so to be fairly honest I only read it last year. So i was 17 years old for both movies and books. I kinda regret that i have no experience of being a tolkien kid, but also it was so fun to be able to read it while analysing it as more mature person. And i fell hard as never.

Favourite lotr character?: Boromir forever and ever. It was not initially that I fell in love with him, but as someone who feels very deeply connected to my humanity and weaknesses of human kind, he just spoke to me. Also i am an older sibling and i relate to him a lot. Next in line are Faramir, Arwen and Aragorn, no order in particular.

Books or films?: both? I don’t know, depends on the mood. I love books, but movies are easier to interact with when i’m tired and i need some comfort in life. Also Viggo and Sean. So yeah, both

Favourite movie: The Fellowship, but my favourite scene is from Return of the King (i hope i did not mix them up lol), deleted one with Boromir and Faramir in osgiliath

Which location in Middle Earth do you want to visit most?: Minas Tirith, the Argonath and Rivendell. I can’t pick one

Favourite scene: damn, i said it in the previous one. But yeah, the osgiliath scene from the extended edition of rotk, but also from fotr sword fighting learning scene with Boromir, Pippin, Merry and Aragorn, it’s such a sweet moment. And this specific second of walking through Moria

Favourite quote: You were quick enough to trust the Elves. Have you so little faith in your own people? Yes, there is weakness. There is frailty. But there is courage also, and honour to be found in Men.

Which middle earth race would you like to be?: Human of númenor. As i said i am very deeply connected to my humanity, so there is literally no other race I would be

Favourite lotr ship: I love aragorn/boromir. Always forever my otp. But i also like boromir/theodred and poly ship aragorn/boromir/arwen (yes i know it’s canonically even more stupid than any other, let me enjoy)

Tagging (no pressure at all): @fenharel-enaste @borom1r @hippodameia @frodothefair @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras @horsewithaface @ass-deep-in-demons @brigwife

#personal #tag game

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aprillikesthings · 1 month

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oh god oh god

HEY GUESS WHAT I'm down to the last two episodes of She-Ra in my rewatch

On a related note, should you desire to read them all starting from s1ep1 for some godforsaken reason, here's the link. Please be amused at my claims that I would not do this for every episode and my repeated attempts to cut back on how much I copy/paste dialogue and/or explain the entire plot instead of just making jokes and commentary

If, somehow, you are New Here, I've been rewatching all of the 2018 She-Ra, ostensibly for fic-writing reasons as I had forgotten huge quantities of the plot. I have since become deeply obsessed, as one does.

I make a lot of adult jokes, random asides, references to other things, commentary, and a lot of cursing and crying. I love Catradora and I love Catra especially and have a tendency to add a screenshot every time they so much as look at each other. It seems silly to warn for spoilers at this point, but yeah, this is a RE-watch. It's just that I forgot a lot of it because I watched it the first time as it was coming out (pun intended). The shit I did remember is so fucking random tho lol

The last time I tried to do a two-parter in one post the number of times I had to reblog it because tumblr only allows 30 images per post got real stupid, so while I do still assume I will have to reblog multiple times per episode, I'm doing each episode separately.

HERE WE GOOOOO

s5 ep12 Heart (pt 1)

jfc i'm full of adrenaline lol

Also I have a beer, it's a citrus IPA because I live in Portland and it's required by law

(not really I just genuinely like them. that and IPA's that taste like gnawing on a douglas fir. also fruit sours.)

LOL I was so anxious I looked away from this post and consumed most of my beer this is gonna be hilarious

ALSO my goal is to finish these two episodes before the Easter Vigil service tomorrow night at 8pm

Theoretically I should be able to watch two episodes of TV in a day and a half, right? AHAHA

Bow should play Wonderwall

she always looks so soft with her hair down

but also having that thing just floating in front of your chest like that has gotta feel weird

ON A RELATED NOTE I know I made the joke in the last episode about how many people have the failsafe as a tattoo but the PROBLEM is that now I literally LIVE with a tattoo artist whose work I like--I already have two tattoos they've done, here and here, and the temptation is extremely high?? but I don't have any other obvious fandom-related tattoos (unless you count the title of a Björk song) so it feels weird to start with this one???? Like I don't have any LoTR or BBC Sherlock or SU or K/DA tattoos (to list off a bunch of fandoms I was devastatingly obsessed with at the time) so getting one for THIS fandom feels kinda weird. But like, also, if I got it kinda small on one wrist it would look kinda cool and be a nice loud DID U KNOW I'M GAY kinda thing. Gyahhh.

She's struggling to do She-Ra, and I'm sitting here YELLING because IT'S BECAUSE CATRA LEFT and UGH I want to murder Shadow Weaver

(eyyyy I won't have to, ha ha oh god)

Oh she manages to transform anyway. Without making any noise or glowing lights, just pop, She-Ra

awwww but also lol

related aside but like, every culture that figured out bows and arrows invented at least one kind of string instrument. Literally archers just fidgeting with their bows and going "oh this makes a nice sound, what if I put more strings on this thing." So many different places and cultures invented things like a guitar or like a harp or like a violin. But also I want to know who the FUCK figured out the hurdy-gurdy??? oh my god I just looked up the hurdy-gurdy and I'm cracking up because one of the earliest depictions of it is from the 1100's, in the Santiago de Compostela cathedral. A place I have been. Because I did the Camino last year.

oh right plot

I would like to take a moment and be grateful for the people who put together the transcripts on the fandom wiki for saving me typing up long bits of lore-heavy dialogue

She-Ra: "Prime is getting closer every day to figuring out how to access the Heart of Etheria. If he succeeds, he can use it to destroy worlds, galaxies, maybe even the entire universe. The Failsafe is our only chance at stopping him."

"His hold over them grows stronger every day they're chipped. If we don't free them now, we might lose them forever. Prime holds every advantage in this fight. He'll be ready for us. But we have a plan. Entrapta?" Entrapta: "I finally succeeded in cracking Prime's signal pattern. If I get access to his Spire network, I can use it to broadcast a jamming frequency that will disable all of the chips on Etheria, freeing everyone at once!" She-Ra: I need you all to get Entrapta to the Spire and keep Prime's forces distracted while she jams the signal."

"We're going to make sure that Prime can never hurt anyone ever again. We're ending this today. For good."

oh lord so Shadow Weaver is still there, sulking and looking away, and she looks over at her and starts almost losing She-Ra and being Adora again

have I mentioned how much I hate Shadow Weaver >:(

Adora goes outside...and looks around. I know who she's looking for. *sobs into a pillow*

NO. she's LOOKING for her GIRLFRIEND

I made that joke and then Glimmer literally says "Any sign of Catra?" I have to remember that at this point in the story literally everyone knows how in love they both are. Except them. Of course.

Adora: "She's not coming back." ;_;

Adora: I mean you don't have to come with me this could be dangerous Bow: the fuck are you talking about of course we're going

And she turns into She-Ra again, roll intro

Okay so they go to the Crystal Castle thing where Light Hope was

it doesn't look so good

but also that's creepy

anyway they tell the hologram (not Light Hope, the other one) that they're looking for the Heart of Etheria and that they're Friends of Mara. She-Ra gets scanned and then a door opens into a passageway. Bow and Glimmer take her hands and they walk into the hall but:

she's still looking for someone

I have to deal with another episode and change of her looking for Catra ghghggh this hurts meeeee

OH SO OF COURSE they literally switch to showing us Catra

bahaha okay so she sits up and looks behind her kind of sadly, and Melog just skids to a stop so hard they throw Catra off

And Melog looks at Catra like she's fucking nuts. Catra's like, wtf is wrong with you??? and Melog looks back like BITCH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? Catra what did you think was going to happen when you got a therapy animal that can literally read your moods. Melog knows you're being a dumbass and has NO reason to pretend to believe your surface "I don't give a shit" act!!

Melog does airplane ears at that. And then just pounces Catra.

Time for pressure! Just like a real therapy animal. Big weighted blanket!

oh shit I forgot about this bit

Catra just immediately starts crying.

Catra: "You saw what happened! Adora chose Shadow Weaver, okay? Not me!"

*sobs into hands* you useless fucking dumbass that is your abysmally low self-esteem talking literally every living semi-sentient thing in the galaxy knows Adora's in love with you EXCEPT YOU

I can get frustrated with AU fics where these two both pull this "but what if she doesn't like me back" thing for ages while everyone around them is face-palming in frustration, but like. You have to admit. It's accurate to canon.

(It's also accurate to lesbians in general, lbh. Either fucking on the first date or doing the "but what if she's not into me" thing for months-to-years. Sometimes both, including in some of the fics I've written, heyooooo.)

Melog purrs and licks her face. A clone approaches and they both go invisible and then follow it.

MEANWHILE

the rest of the rebellion is attacking Horde Prime's ship thing

Wrong Hordak helps Entrapta get into the spire. The whole point of this fight (which I didn't bother screenshotting lol) is to give Entrapta time to disconnect everyone's chips from Horde Prime.

Lol once inside Entrapta does another one of those "holy shit this stuff looks so cool...OMG FOCUS" things

Back at the Crystal Castle Glimmers like "omg are you scared" and She-Ra says "No, I just hope this works." Liar.

Bow: "It'll be okay. And when we get back, it'll be a whole new world."

this poor girl. she's so heartbroken.

(meanwhile the plot of my fic-in-progress is literally them breaking up. (not forever.) but it's hilarious of me to get SO UPSET over this scene when I'm going to force them to repeat it. like it's a mutual decision in my fic but it doesn't make it hurt any less.)

PFFT I unpaused it, and IMMEDIATELY:

I just said OH SHIT out loud lol

oh god I saw someone talking about this in a youtube video right around when I started my rewatch

It's a hologram, she's not actually there. And Catra goes through multiple other ages, including her kid self, being chipped on Horde Prime's ship, when they were Horde cadets, etc; before going back to looking like she does now.

Adora's sharp little gasp of shock here

Adora goes to touch Catra's hand and the hologram disappears

(good lord she's beautiful here)

And I think I agree with the youtube video: Adora knew she was upset about Catra running off, but this is the moment she specifically realizes she's in love, and it breaks her heart into tiny pieces.

(Hah, I actually say a very similar thing in part of my fic that they mention in the video--that previous to this, she refused to let herself want this or even think about it. "I didn't even realize this was something I could want.")

BUT ALSO so like is this a remnant of Light Hope's programming that tortured them with childhood flashbacks in season one (in order to drive them apart) or what

LOL NO

I know I made this joke before but I'm suing Nate for emotional damages

She-Ra: "We need to be careful. It looks like this place can still project memories."

oof

A still-invisible Catra follows the clone to where Horde Prime's ship is and is visibly terrified and shaking. A clone who might be Hordak turns around with that white in his eyes that means Prime is using him to see, and Catra just tries to be quiet and not move but she's obviously triggered, and I mean that in the literal PTSD sense.

Horde Prime (via Hordak?): "My brothers. The time has come at last. No longer shall She-Ra stand in my way."

oh okay so Horde Prime's actual ship is still in space (just orbiting Etheria I assume) and the planet-side thing is him speaking through one of the clones via the hive mind.

"Begin the acquisition process!"

are they just gonna straight-up drill into it?

apparently yes

the whole area lights up with that sickening green light, including all the lines that characters kept noticing on the ground that looked like some combo of circuit boards and First Ones' writing.

meanwhile, Adora keeps slipping out of being She-Ra for split seconds and is clearly stressing The Fuck Out and possibly walking in the wrong direction in her distress, only to walk into another memory/hologram.

And I've predictably hit the image limit, but 13:30 to go which is better than last night pfft okay gonna reblog

#april rewatches spop #heart pt 1

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ostentums · 2 months

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About!

Hi! I’m Xan! I’m 29, autistic, nonbinary (maybe ftm?) aroace, and just a big old nerd. I like dcu, batfam, lotr, Star Wars, dinosaurs, marine biology, and vet med!

I’m currently a vet tech student!

This blog will be a mishmash of fandoms but primary dcu/batfam/batman related!

Some of my posts will be personal and can kinda be dark. (I suffer from several mental illnesses + chronic illnesses). I’ll tag them accordingly as best as I can. You can block “vent” or “personal”.

TERFS/ENDOS DNI!!!

My ask box and messages are always open!

#about #personal

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gaywitchbean · 2 years

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Okay but what if the Mirkwood elves were kinda feral?

okay, so there always struck me as being three different “kinds” of elves in LOTR: you had the Rivendell elves, the Lothlorien elves, and the Mirkwood elves. The Rivendell elves are the closest to the humans, especially with Elrond in their midst, and they can best relate to and sympathize with the troubles of Man. The Lothlorien elves are closer to what you might call “angelic beings”—not like to Maiar or the Valar or anything, just that little bit more, that little bit extra. Their code isn’t like the code of Men, and while their goals tend to intersect with ours, they have their own agenda. Then we have the Mirkwood elves.

They’re just…feral.

One of my favorite headcanons is that the Mirkwood elves look and think distinctly…“other” compared to their relatives. They’re descended from the elves who never crossed the sea, and so they’re less concerned with acting “noble” or “for the greater good”, and instead run more on instinct. They think in a more animal mindset—not to say they are lesser or stupid or non-sentient or anything like that—merely that they are much less preoccupied with the philosophical side of life.

I headcanon that the Mirkwood elves behave a lot like cats—skittish, mercurial, holding everything to some standard that only they know the code for. They look different too. They are slightly longer than a human, just a little too tall, just a little too skinny. Their joints bend just too far in ways joints shouldn’t bend. Their hand and feet are too long to be human, but slender. Their toes can grip like fingers and their fingers have an extra joint. They’re green-veined pale from spending all their time under the trees. Their balance is impeccable and they feel safer in trees than on the ground. They crouch instead of sitting. Their cheekbones are razor sharp, and their eyes are just over-large enough to be unsettling. They don’t blink often enough. Their eyes reflect in the dark like a cat’s, and they cock their head like a bird when something interests them. Their ears can react independently of each other, and flatten low when they feel threatened. They snarl when they’re angry and seek out touch as a sign of affection. They’re mainly carnivorous, because they connect so strongly to plants. They love shiny things, and become very possessive very fast of anything beautiful left in their keeping.

so yeah. They’re basically cats crossed with magpies but the idea of Legolas freaking the rest of the fellowship out in all his uncanny-valley glory by just being RIGHT THERE when Boromir turns around, staring at him, or never sleeping inside the tent, or flipping through the trees of Fangorn like a slinky, or hissing at Gimli when he says something insulting just wouldn’t leave me alone, so now y’all have to deal with it too.

#lotr #lord of the rings #legolas #the fellowship of the ring #mirkwood elves #feral elves #The elves are cats #LOOOONG FUCKIN POST #lotr movies #the hobbit

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doodle-pops · 6 months

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Hii mina mae-duh-whores anon here! Hope you are doing good! first of all,i saw that ask mina and if you were to actually write mgime related stuff, please id really go crazy!! i love your writing so much!!

Second of all to that anon, if you actually start writing silmarillion mgime i wanna be the first to read it!! id love to beta read or just brainstorm or plot with you if you're up for that kind of thing!!

Third, I've got a recommendation or two that no one really asked for haha. There aren't many silmarillion mgime fics so I thought I'd share the ones I've read on ao3 that I think you or your followers might like!

The first fic called, stardusts in our souls by Autumn_moonlight. its ecthelion x oc, it was last updated in July or something, but its such a fun read so far! the oc reads ecthellion the harry potter series and his reaction and eagerness to find out what happens next, its so cute!! I love when the modern girl shares technology or stories or songs from her world and seeing the characters' reaction to it is just so!!! Oh, there's also maeglin x oc smut in later chapters so there's that i suppose.

Second fic, it's called the knowing princess by Fantasticoncer. it's kinda long? The author still updates it I think, I haven't really finished it yet tbh lol. anyways main pov is basically female of x maedhros but it has got lots of other ocs x characters too, like fingon and mairon etc. it contains reincarnation and stuff, mc gets reincarnated as an elf in valinor along with her sisters from her own home reality.

Third is the Oialëa series by natelly

It's mcu/tolkien crossover fic, its kinda long I suppose, multiple books and many chapters etc but it's fun read, tbh I haven't this one either. its not exactly silmarillion events set but oc is kinda part of the kidnap fam, glorfindel's sister, and I've read spoilers that maedhros travels to mcu in second book or something so I thought I'd add it to the list? The first book which I've read is hobbit period set, btw its elrond x oc, and the oc is also doctor strange's daughter, and she also has powers and stuff. So yeah, if you love mcu and silmarillion hobbit lotr and mainly elrond, this fic is for you. Honestly I don't even like elrond that much, more into his sons lol, but still,, it was so interesting I ended up reading the first book! The oc is such a fun gen z mgime and i love her so much! The series is so well written too and there's even separate prequels and epilogue and fics written from other characters perspective and stuff too! In one of the books maedhros and oc also goes to therapy, haven't read that part but mae,, im so glad he got therapy, he really really needs that haha

I am doing better as I've resurfaced from my week disappearance 😁. Though, everything feels strange as though I've been gone for longer 😅.

Some recommendations for those who enjoy the Modern girl in Middle Earth troupe and for the anon who's in the process of creating a story for modern day reader. Thank you for assistance 💖

#oc reader recommendations #notes ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

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glngrbred · 3 months

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On inherent stories and worldbuilding

OK so the title is pretentios but you looked at it right? cool

I legitimately would realy apreciate it if you read or loosely read this, this project is very important to me and I've worked alot on it. Thank you for reading at all, go drink some water, love u <3

anyways, Im making a cardgame right now, like MTG but hopefully monotized in a more ethical way. like, as a 1 time purchase or subscription.

So, In my game there is a very heavy emphasis on ecology, and it is basically explicitly environmentalist propoganda, that's not the point tho, what we are trying to do initially is trick people into thinking about environmental issues with cool worldbuilding. And on that worldbuilding, as lead desiner/writer person, I think I can actually share some pretty good tips.

Some quick background, not super important. In our wold there a 4 color identities, wich is both for gameplay (mtg inspired) and lore (also mtg inspired) Red, white(yellow), Green, black(purple), for each of wich is a place on an alighnment chart and teirs within the factions represented by these colors. again, like MTG

On that topic, of the factions and identities these card colors and gameplay elements represent, I have some tips for Dms and other worldbuilders.

My main thing, Is inherrent stories (built in stories).

As an example,

The Orks in my world are reptilian hominids obsessed with fire. As a starting point my desire was to do a new type of Ork, where we maintain the motif of chaos alighned "Monsters" who's actions serve the bad guys, like in WoW or LotR. from there I knew that my red faction was fire themed, but building up this concept was kinda hard for me. I didn't really know hoe to start with meeting this desire while subverting the typical Ork tropes.

So I decided to take the aproach of working from first my desire to have a fire ascociation. I Already had a theme of the main humanoids in my world being ascociated or related to specific animal groups, Goblins have similarity to anteaters, elves bees, and Dorvs beetles and grubs. So I knew the first step in my Orls was going to be Making them some sort of animal.

And i had a good think on that, you know I landed on reptiles. wich seem obvious in hindsight, but at the time I was very excited about this, since it meant there was already a clear connection to be made with fire. since most reptiles cannot regulate heat on their own, a connection to the sun and fire is very easy to make. Especially for a hominid species. Already we have a peice of a narrative, Orks love Fire because they need it to survive cold days. Wonderful, now how do we get that ascociation to chaos and subvert the typical barbaric Orks trope?

My first thought was inspired by Warhammer greenskins, wich isn't super subvertive, just giving orks big techy robots doesn't do much to change the ascociation with brutish methods and uncivilized nature. I knew I wanted to make the Orks more equal intelectually with my other factions, instead of having them be the mindless other bent on chaos. So the step after "Ork like fire" turned out to be their philosophy

What I ended up going for was in my opinion pretty original,

Orks, Due to their reliance on Fire, developed a culture and Philosophy built on the nurturing of "Warmth." Warmth takes many fors for the Orks, they find it in Art, Music, magic, and love. Family and play and Food, and even war. Where the Orkish philosophy deteriorates as a method of governance it the often single minded focus on what makes an individual feel good, and forgetting that other people, even those that don't seek warmth, have needs and desires too. By creating this intrinsic societal issue, where governance ends up focusing on how to make one's tribe as warm as possible, we can create narratives about how desperate poorer comunites are for warmth, how creative they get, and how even bad, and evil deeds can be seen as a positive as long as they bring warmth to your tribe.

We can have wars and espionage and gatherings and beutiful ronmances all built around this pervasive desire for individual pleasure. And we can have stories form when an Ork realizes that the Goblins they've hurt also want good things, and how the Orks realize that their selfish behavior makes the world less warm for everyone. We can have stories about nurturing empathy in a selfish society, and stories about becoming closer to one another, of seperating one's self from those who use them and hurt them.

Also, with this narrative, Orks turn into warbands of bards, preists, and mages, keen on nurturing warmth and helping their ingroup. WHOA we just subverted the barbarian ork trope didnt we? HORRAY ALL OF OUR GOALS HAVE BEEN FULFILLED BY ONE DESCISION SPIRALLING!

Of course perscribing concepts and personality to individual characters based off of their race is a horrible thing to do. but for a group it's very usefull to narrow down concrete adjectives and emotions that are associated with your societies and cultures.

My Advice to you, is try to find your Ork bards, but don;t start there. Think about how society would form around the 4 legged Praying mantis men your story is about, and how different a society could be based off of the physiological environment your characters exist in.

My second peice fo advice, Is that If you want to make a specific type of civilization, As an example, hive cities (like warhammer), try to think about what typre of culture would develope that city? who would live in the underwater Utopia, who would work in the sugar mines, and why do the sugar mines exist? I know It can be increadably difficult to find an angle to take your worldbuilding, so start with 1 small descision, an easy one, like "Do I want my orks to be colorful?" Answer that, then build from there.

final note, Yes, this is an extremely long post, and thank you for reading it,

also ...

👌

I, ME, HAS gotten you HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA *evil gnome voice* You hAVe but THIRTY MINUTES to get someone else before you ARE IT for the rest of your life MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#worldbuilding #writing #writers on tumblr #mtg #tcg #my writing #meme #fantasy #warhammer 40k #magic: the gathering #orc

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