#let's redo the lt

[pampanope]

Graves Headcanons from Shadows’ POV (Part 2):

Part 1

((hello hello again, more written stuff~))

7-11 sat in his quarters trying to decide which polaroid of the Commander he’d donate to the Graves Manual.

Would it be one of him mid-stretch, wearing knee-high compression socks and thigh length shorts? Maybe.

Or maybe the one with Graves slumped over his office desk, hair askew, drool leaking out of a parted mouth? A lot of potential there, a sleeping Graves is always cute appreciated.

How ‘bout the closeup of the Commander’s face, hair mussed by the wind, head tilted down, one side of his mouth quirked up playfully to expose a prominent canine, piercing steel eyes staring dead on at the camera full of challenge and—

Actually, fuck, no, 7-11’s keeping that one.

But also…

Did Graves know i was up in that tree? From that distance? The whole time? Or was it coincidence and he just happened to look in that one tree’s direction? What the fuck—he’s never—he looked at me—

7-11 took a deep breath and shuddered (out of fear or excitement?).

Right, probably just a coincidence; no way he’s caught on to my personal game, a game that’s been going on for months.

He would’ve said something by now, right?

Right.

Deciding to make a choice at a later date, he turned to his most pressing matter of the evening.

Zorro (9-24) had cornered him after evening chow, his brows all furrowed and mouth pursed in displeasure. He shoved a handful of stained loose leaf paper into his chest and said:

“Rewrite, retype, I don’t care, redo your coffee stained shit, sleepy cachorro, or I’ll let the new recruits know that their favorite, cool, mysterious Lt. is actually a slob of the highest degree.”

7-11 could only blink lazily as he was booped in the snoot with more force than called for, before the Brazilian swiftly power walked down the hallway.

That was hours ago.

Now those entries sat there on his desk and taunted him.

Well I can’t have the adorable receuits go around spreading that slander, he thought, knowing he thrived on their regard as much as he craved the Commander’s attention.

Sighing, 7-11 grabbed a fresh sheet of paper and began to write.

——-

• The Commander had a gift for people in general that was uncanny.

• Graves, after spending just enough time with someone, knew which buttons to push, what switches to pull, and which gears he’d need to grease or sabotage within that person to get his desired outcome.

•He can easily gauge the emotional state of his Shadows as individuals or as a whole. His pre-mission pep-rallies (for there is no better word for them) got their spirits up and blood boiling. Graves effortlessly grabs their attention and holds it in a tight grip.

(It was, 7-11 thought, so nice to have a boss who made an effort for you and from the scribbles along the margins, other Shadows agreed)

• This gift for people offered other advantages in the Commander’s line of work.

• He can get a basic grasp of a person’s capabilities or weaknesses through observation and intuition and decide if they’re worth his time. And his estimations were accurate far too often (Extremely useful when ‘recruiting’ in the field…)

(What does Graves see when he looks at me)

• it was akin to having a faded map that showed how best to navigate negotiations and dealings with adversaries, whether in business or combat; Graves intuitively knew when to apply pressure, how to bluff effectively, when threats were necessary, and if honeyed words wrapped in his southern drawl would yield better results.

(That last one was quite effective. Unfairly effective.)

• It’s always a goddamn pleasure to witness the Commander leverage his cards over the target. The smug, triumphant look he wore if his efforts were met with success was exquisite.

•As sure as the Commander’s grin hides a pair of wicked canines, so, too, does this empathy of his. It’s been honed into a weapon that, when turned on his enemies, can be deadly.

• Weaponized empathy.

(Holy hell, the Commander turned a typical Piscean trait into a weapon

EXCUSE ME HES A PISCES?!

Yeah I bribed a newbie in HR for that bit of info so ssshhhhh

Lil shit wont give me the Commanders bday. Yet.

Lemme at ‘em, I’ll make ‘em talk ;))

• It makes him a master manipulator and it’s an oft overlooked skill of Graves; most would look first at his experience in the USMC, MARSOC, and the weapons on his person to determine weapon proficiencies (haha tough luck, he’s proficient at multiple types of firearms and yeet-able objects).

•It’s allowed him to claw his way to success, tango with the rich elite that made up his client base, negotiate contracts with governments, traverse the murky waters that was life as a mercenary

• and safely guide his Shadow Company through it all.

(and always be ready to have the Commanders back should shit go pear shaped because NOTHING is ever certain)

• The Commander maxed out his Charisma stat

——-

7-111 chuckled softly at the surprise addition because yeah, Graves certainly did.

The officers in the D&D club gave after action reports that read like epic campaigns. Fucking beautiful.

7-11 decided to keep the little addition.

With that finished, he stacked the newly revised manual entries, shredded and dumped the originals, and swore to himself he’d apologize to Zorro in the morning for making the other Lieutenant spend some of his personal time tracking him down in the first place.

Hopefully he won’t send Peaches after his ass.

His ass and dignity haven’t yet recovered from the last session with that massive brute.

After shutting off the light, 7-11 flopped into his mattress, nuzzled into his cool pillow and drifted off to sleep to dreams of sharp teeth and steel eyes.

#shadow company interoffice drama #still tryna figure out writing #phillip graves #cod graves #call of duty #mwii #mwiii #mw2 #mw3 #my stuff #headcanons

[dukeoftheblackstar]

[ original post ] [ dividers by vodika-vibes ]

Updated: 03/10/24

Where's Mommy? 2 chapters - by Steph

Skin to Skin - Cad Bane by Candy

An Honest Day's Work - Construction Boba eyyyy e////e

Goodbye, Little Soka - by bart1607

Feast - OC Talia x Wolffe oneshot?

Olom SFW Alphabet - Crystal's OC

Crack Angst with Fox, Wolffe, Plo.

Babymaking with Rex by clone-anon-after-dark

Not Letting Go - Fox Fic by kenzie

Life-changing Rodian fic #2 by @spicedrobot

Valentine Ask for Wrecker by Freesia

Post - Julie

Love It When You Hate Me - by wizardofrozz

Under the Same Night Sky - Julie / rexxdjarin

Cad Bane Alphabet - by my-sun-m00n-and-stars

Feb Prompt (had my eyes on this last time) - by JJ / @lamaenthel

Suffering In Silence - Wolffe Angst

Helpless (Boba Fett, Jango Fett)

"You Weren't Supposed To Get Hurt" (Jango Fett, Boba Fett)

Too Weak To Move (Ailyn Vel, Boba Fett)

All @sinisterexaggerator's

BDSM with the boys

TLC post-work with the boys

Whump Death with Cad Bane

Feelings with Cad Bane

-> Sex, Drugs, and Blasters - Cad Bane by my-sun-m00n-and-stars

Multi-Chapters

Lifeday - by Crystal 9K

Fate's Right Hand (3) - Cad Bane by Candy

Mimi Mirage's Memoir - Moonie ♥

In This Planetarium with You - Darth Fett

Poets and Painters Masterlist - (redo read for multichaps)

The Wolfpack Queen - OC Talia x Wolffe by reader6898 / Kayla

Where Angels Fear To Tread - plokoonsdisapprovingeyebrows

Queen of Hearts - Steph 14.5k

Non-SW:

Penguins - Saren Fluff fic?

The Vakarians (Castis Vakarian Fic)

Rain on Distant Shores - ContinuousSpec

This entire Masterlist because holy fuck do I want to read dinobirds fuck nasty - Castelau / Ao3

Note to self:

The lack of Turian fic in this bitch is appalling. <- Fixed, updated with an entire masterlist of nasty dinobird fuckenings.

Please finish the list before getting more.

Update your to-read list bookmark.

Generate a proper tagging system / Abandon sheet tracker

Maybe fix your Masterlist? <- - Harr. Harr. Harr.

Survive.

-> Word of the day: canoodling

•◘• <- Alt + 7-8-7 || To read / list

•○• <- Alt + 7-9-7 || idk but I like it <-

•▲• <- Alt 7-30-7 || To do / get done

Okay, I think this is all I have on my plate before I once more lose all inhibition and self control and add more.

#♝ #dukeoftheblackstar #to-read #updated to-read #•◘• #^ LOOK AT THIS CUTE OLD MAN DIVIDER !!!! byksajhdkjshdaksjhdaskljdhas #HE SO PRECIOUSSS #he be like #bitch stop and read #;///////; I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

[around1302]

hello! i'm so aware how long it's taking me to update spare parts and i'm so sorry - life is hectic, so writing has taken a backseat. BUT! here is a sneak peak of part 17, because it will be coming soon (i'm just not sure how soon). thank u for ur patience &lt;3

“Do you really think we can ever be friends?”

“Jesus, you’re confusing. I thought that was why you took me on this stupid date in the first place!”

“Okay, Charlie.” Harry lifts his palm from her waist, the silk bunched there draping back to her goose-pimpled thigh. “Let me be crystal clear.” He cradles her face, just brushing her bottom lip. She absentmindedly leans into the touch, sighing as his face tips lower and his nose knocks hers. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”

“You have me,” Charlie rushes to say, tugging him closer by his shirt.

Harry stifles a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. “I don’t think I do, love.”

“What do you mean? I’m right here.”

Harry tilts his head back, sinking into her eyes till he’s sure he’s turned to stone. All Harry’s wanted for the last six years is to hear her say those words: you have me. But in that moment, Harry realises he’s gone about all of this completely wrong.

“I want a redo.” He barely whispers, insecure in his words.

Charlie piques. “A redo?”

“Of everything. I fucked it all up, Charlie.” 

“Fucked what up?”

“You. Me. Us. This.”

“We didn’t know this would end up happening–”

“I knew.” Tears prick at his eyes, and in that moment Charlie realises she’s never seen Harry cry. 

taglist: @lilfreakjez @be-with-me-so-happily @sirtommyholland @tpwksm @b-reads-things @tiaamberxx @daphnesutton @mleestiles

#spare parts series #harry styles smut #harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x oc #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles series #one direction series #one direction ot5 #one direction smut #one direction #1d ot5 #ot5 #1d series #1d smut

[andmaybegayer]

If I remember correctly, you mentioned using Vim as your day-to-day text editor. I'm also a fan of Vim and I've finally started to customize it to make it my primary Python editor; any particular plugins you'd suggest, or tips and tricks that you can offer?

Alright you asked for it this is going to be long.

vim and its friends are very handy, there's a lot you can do to make it more livable from the get go without any plugins at all.

My neovim config is here, it's a little out of date but if you want to reference what plugins and so on I have, here

Enable the mouse! It's really handy to be able to click between tabs, around a file, resize splits, etc. when you want to. In your config file put:

set mouse=a

Presumably you already have your movement in vim pretty down pat, but it's worthwhile to go over a movement hint list like this one from Bart Kummel to see if there's any you missed, using G and gg to move to the top and bottom of a file is super handy. Knowing that u and C-r will undo and redo is also good.

Learn how vim's integral split and tab features work. You can :sp and :vs to split horizontally and vertically, and C-w+<direction> to move between splits, alternatively use your mouse. To create a new tab, you can :tabedit &lt;filename> or :tabnew <filename> to open or create a new file in a tab, and then use gt and gT to move through tabs (go tTab) quickly, or again, your mouse. With mouse enabled you can even drag to rearrange tabs and resize splits, way easier than memorizing the commands. More detail on tabs here and splits here.

Learn to use ctags in vim. At the top of your current programming project, run ctags -R . to build a ctags database for the project. Then, in the file, you can use C-] to jump to the definition of any function or variable, and C-t to move back up the stack of tags you've followed. You can even C-w+} to preview the definition in a split. There's way more features, you can learn them here.

Get familiar with visual mode, which will let you select a chunk of text and then cut, paste, find/replace, etc. it. Press in Normal mode to enter Visual mode, and then move around like normal, selecting text. You can then d to delete and cut to clipboard, y to copy to clipboard, or you can apply a find/replace on the selection. Of course, if you've enabled your mouse you can also just click and drag to select.

Learn your regexes, they're an unbelievably fast way to find and edit files. You can do /<regex> to immediately search for the next instance of <regex> and then move to the next and previous match with n and N. Your regex can just be the exact thing, but if you get a handle on basic regex features like word boundaries, repeats, and sets, you can construct very fast and effective searches.

With regexes you can also do find/replace, using :s/find/replace to immediately fire that off on the line you're on, or to affect the entire selection in a visual block. Very useful for renaming functions and variables.

Learn tmux, which isn't a vim thing, but is a general purpose terminal multiplexer. With a tmux session you can spawn multiple terminals in one window, each running their own shell, in separate tabs and splits, and you can background an entire session without closing it. Very useful if you want to create a self-contained programming environment, at work I have a separate tmux session for each bug I'm working on which may have a debugger, several code windows, multiple file explorers, etc. I won't cover tmux in detail here, but I wrote about it for some undergrads once and you can find my notes on that in section two of this document. If you're configuring tmux, hit me up, but my config is not suitable for general consumption.

That's about all the vim techniques I use on a daily basis at work, there's way more depth you can get into to go even faster but with those you can do all the things a conventional editor's Edit menu would do without ever leaving your keyboard. Less commonly used features includes the macro system, folds, and using the built-in file browser. I barely touch these.

Plugins:

I don't use a ton of plugins, I stick to a relatively vanilla vim experience because it means that you wont' be so lost when you sit down at someone else's config. I recommend mostly adding rather than changing, although I absolutely do have things like remapping my leader key to ,

I also don't have a ton of my plugins setup because this is a new computer, so I won't have demo photos.

I use neovim, which is a vim fork that focuses on being more modern, having saner defaults, and expanding the programming interface to languages other than vimscript. This is nice, because it means you can write plugins in a modern language like python, rust, or C++. For all intents and purposes to the average end user it is indistinguishable from vim, but the plugins I use might sometimes be nvim specific and I'll try to call out vim equivalents if I remember.

Tim Pope is the most influential vimscript programmer of the generation, having written everything from git managers to plugin installers to the de facto standard aftermarket vim default configuration. Flip through his repos and see if anything strikes your fancy. Many people like vim-surround which enables modern-editor style automatic insertion of matching braces, apostrophes, angle brackets, etc.

Neovim Completion Manager, an autocomplete tool built for Neovim. Combine it with Jedi to do intelligent python completion, pyclang for C/++ completion. The vim equivalents would be YouCompleteMe or Deoplete which is apparently now ddc. I've no preference, having used both a little, but YouCompleteMe is more popular.

Ale by w0rp, a linter that will mark out syntax errors. Nonessential, but a handy little thing, saves a lot of time, gives you relevant compiler errors right where they are.

ctrlp, a clone of sublimetext's infamous ctrl-p fuzzy search, a good way to quickly switch files in vim. Vaguely mash out something that looks like the file you want to open, and ctrlp will usually find it.

IndentLine, especially good for Python, shows vertical lines and leading spaces at your indent levels like you'd find in modern graphical editors.

That's about everything I use regularly, you can really go deep in on customizing vim into your perfect IDE, but I like to keep it light.

#computer stuff #vim #kelp-of-discontent

[bookish-black-girl]

a slightly unhinged review of Loveboat Reunion by Abigail Hing Wen

First, I'd like to start off this review with an apology. I truly adored Loveboat, Taipei, love me some Rick x Ever, and have posted my thoughts on that book in my other bookish haunts. So moving on to Loveboat Reunion was originally painful BECAUSE I had a one-sided beef with characters Sophie and Xavier (the former for making me love her and then the god-awful shit she did to Ever in pursuit of a boy, and the latter for being generally annoying + getting in the way of Rick and Ever being a proper couple skfhJhdfj)

So I bought LR during its release month, got through maybe the first chapter, and then said "Nope, can't do it" and proceeded to let the book decorate my shelf.

Fast forward to me trying to tackle my physical unreads, and with the last book in this series releasing this November, I went ahead and requested the audiobook from the library so at least I could listen at work.

Welp. Now for the apology part. I take back 98% of what I said and thought about Xavier and Sophie. I have never, ever hated, then been so stressed out and then been so invested in a YA book pairing as individuals and as a couple. Like....I went from dreading this reading experience TO GIVING IT A FULL 5 STARS AND MY BLESSING!!!

So...why did I give it 5 stars?? On with the review:

LR takes place just after the events of LT, and we quickly find out that Sophie plans to conquer Dartmouth while Xavier will be stuck repeating high school in order to get his inheritance, as spelled out by his strict and abusive father.

Sophie - She's extremely committed to making her own money and her own future, buoyed and cheered on by best friend Ever, and clearly and wholly repentant of the damage and drama she caused during her time on Loveboat. I loved her for that. Like, it did not take me long at all to fall back in love with her--a process expedited when she starts her classes and 1) has to find a job and starts putting her all into that and 2) the nonsense that is being a #WomanInStem and trying to get off the waitlist for a class she needs. Not to mention...she's still got her heartstrings attached to Xavier all while swearing off boys and trying to hold herself to that.

Xavier - Oh God, where do I even start with this guy?!? Both Sophie and Xavier's situations had me stressed the fuck out, but it was Dark Days Ahead™️ for Xavier. He's still dealing (or not dealing??) with his dyslexia, fighting to get from beneath his father's thumb and the Yeh Family's Legacy, fighting to get his inheritance with the ultimatum that he has to redo and graduate from his last year of high school, and ugh....just...the leftover grief from his mom's death years prior, and the amount of ableism, abuse, and self-gaslighting he dealt with?? All of this forced me to see him in a different light and to come to terms with how his environment shaped him into the person he is.

Now, the part where the stress began to leave my body and I became completely invested in the stakes for Sophie and Xavier aligns with the chapters that lead up to and detailed the moon festival weekend. Bullet points below to continue why this book has me in a chokehold:

The strength and the tenacity of the Yeh women and their support and love for Xavier (that last part concerns his great-aunts, but I really was in awe with all of Xavier's female family members and just as incensed as his cousin Lulu that they live in the shadows compared to the male family members.)

Second chance romance. I really like this trope but I just don't read it very often. So to see it done and done WELL in a YA Romance book of all places?!?! It just...set something at ease in my soul. Words fail me right now, but seeing the maturity and growth from both Xavier and Sophie, and watching them repair their friendship, make it strong, only to discover individually that it's not enough?? I WAS LIVINGGGGGGG (I've never rooted as hard for two people to end up together in recent memory as I did for Xavier and Sophie)

Another thing about romance/YA romance for me: in recent time I've gotten annoyed, bored, or stayed neutral with the double POV when it comes to the guy/male hero. Usually I tolerate them and find myself mostly invested in the heroine. And many times its not the fault of the writing or the plot, but me. I just can't be bothered to care the way I should. However, Abigail Hing Wen must be given her flowers immediately because she not only got me to care, she got me to fumble through a review no one will be bothered to read BECAUSE I HAD TO WRITE THESE THOUGHTS DOWN!!!

And now, some closing thoughts...

It's still so wild to me that the two characters I previously couldn't stand got their own book and I rated said book higher than the previous one in the series. And I JUST did a reread of LT this year!!! So everything is very fresh in my mind!!!

I adore how Sophie and Xavier literally were so supportive and present for one another, as friends and eventually as a reunited couple. Each saw the good, no, the best in the other, and made it a point to make the other see it and believe it. I have so many quotes from this book saved, but the issue is the scenes are pages instead of my usual 1-2 sentences or even at max, a paragraph!! (I didn't even bother trying to type it all out into my Storygraph notes, so I guess the most precious lines--pages--will just be between me and God lol.)

Lastly, I know that this is on Xavier and his healing journey and forgiveness being for nobody but himself, but as a reader, I do not forgive his Ba. Even if what he did was to protect Xavier and to serve his son's best interests, the decisions his Ba made won't ever sit right with me. To belittle your son, to physically and emotionally cause him harm, to use the memory of his mother to chastise him, to make him feel lower than dirt because his mind literally works differently than the 'norm'...it angers me.

I'm glad that Xavier chooses a path of love and forgiveness with his father in the end, but I truly believe his father wasn't deserving of any of that, and needs to put in the work to gain that back from his son.

ANYHOO that's my review!!

#blaire reads loveboat reunion #abigail hing wen #bookish talks #loveboat reunion #loveboat taipei #spoilers #tw: typos and grammar mistakes

[amlovelies]

here we go again

#let's redo the lt #because I want a little (controllable) angst in my life #also thinking about who I want dinah's bff to be #originially it was farah but now I'm thinking maybe morgan #it's the loyalty plus abandonment issues thing

[linos-teeth]

com-min-ji-cation

#stray kids #skz #bystay #han jisung #lee know #skz han #skz lee minho #skz lee know #ugh these are fucky on blog u will need to click for them to load #10mb limit my ass pls just. let me tumblr #idkkkkkkkkk #idk idk idk idk i should redo them but my head hruts #aging crackheads #i make shit gifs sometimes #lt #suncheeks #hoe of my heart #luxury cruise things

[luca-moreno]

Hey Kiddo. Strickland's been tossing his cookies all night so I'm on a double today. Stop by and entertain me sometime?

(pre op: kio/tortuga) --

Luca showed up at Ryan’s side with an armful of gear. Some of it drone parts, some of it food and he arranged it around himself on the floor of the cockpit like a fan.

Ryan watched him warily. “Kid, what’re you doing?”

“I thought you wanted company? And I'm still trying to get this damn drone working and I can’t figure out why the connectors aren’t talking and I can’t concentrate down in the mess.” He stares at the small hunk of metal in his palm and huffs. “This wouldn't happen if I only had a geth combat dr-“

“Ooch, nae, I do no’ want to hear that word coming out of your mouth. It’s still a sensitive subject.”

“Oh,” Luca lowered his hand. “It must have been pretty scary, huh?”

“Scary in many ways. Being locked out… Berlin suddenly no longer talkin’ to me was the worst.”

“Really? I dunno, I would have thought a hoard of hulking juggernauts marching through the corridors trying to obliterate everything they saw would have been scarier.”

“Aye, you'd think so. But it turns out that having phoenix on board is incredibly useful.”

Luca tossed the small drone between his palms, sighing. “I can't believe Zeus spaced them all before I had a chance to pick through parts though. Rude.”

Ryan chuckled. “You'll have other chances to find geth parts, my boy.”

Luca tried not to flush. “Yeah, well, maybe try not to let anything like that happen again while we're gone, huh, LT?” he gave a weak laugh.

They worked in silence for a while longer. It was so quiet in the cockpit, and fast becoming one of Luca's favourite places. He could hear Ryan talking on the comms, the lilt of his accent shifting when he switched to official channels then shifting back. His fingers danced over the console dials and his brows furrowed with concentration. He was a good deal older than a lot of the enlisted crew on board but somehow that only added to his appeal. He seemed comfortable in his own skin, comfortable with who he was and when he caught Luca staring, he gave a little wink that sent Luca’s cheeks burning bright red.

Luca cleared his throat and busied himself with finishing off his tiny contraption.

“Here,” he said, sliding a small sculpture made from a few spare bolts and screws onto the armrest of Ryan’s chair. “I made you something to keep you company.”

“What is this?”

“Just a little friend,” Luca grinned as he started to pack up his gear. His wrist was chiming with his alerts – food to take to Evie, meds to Ben, check in with Marie. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t stay up here forever. “To keep you company while we’re gone.”

Ryan picked up the little sculpture. “You made this just now?”

“Yeah,” Luca shrugged. “I’ve made heaps. You should see Commander Miller’s collection.”

Ryan was watching him with that strange look in his eye again and it was an effort for Luca to tear his gaze away. If he didn't know better, he could swear the lieutenant might have been interested in a redo of that poker night so long ago. Only that had been little more than a chance for Luca to scratch a very annoying itch.

“Um. Anyway, I gotta go take some food to Evie before she dies of starvation since Cap won't let her out of his bed.”

That made Ryan laugh. “I’ve known Isaac for over twenty years and I’ve never seen him like that over a woman.”

“Good,” Luca grinned, pleased. “Because that’s everything Evie deserves. Nothing less.”

Ryan slid the sculpture into the pocket of his uniform, right above his heart. That surprised Luca, he had expected him to leave it on the console. “And you, Luca?" he said quietly. "What do you deserve?”

A prickle of awareness slid down the back of Luca’s neck before he shook it off.

“A kick in the head if you ask Ajax,” he tries to grin. “So don’t. Ask Ajax, that is. Anyway. Thanks for the company, LT. I’d better go.”

Ryan snagged his wrist before he could escape too far. “Be careful, love. It's a dangerous place out there. The Abyss."

“I know. But… I've got Evie. And Hurricane.”

Ryan's fingers uncurled from Luca's wrist. It was almost a regret. "Come back soon."

“I will. Don't let Strickland get into my shit while I'm gone.”

“Aye. When you get back, bring your guitar up here.”

Luca’s eyes widened but he flushed with pleasure. “Really? Why?”

“Because I like t’hear you sing.”

“You could listen to literally anything up here, but you want to hear me?”

“Don't act so surprised.”

“Are you just trying to butter me up so I take off the red stripes on the shuttle? You are, aren’t you? Isaac always says that flattery will get you everywhere.”

Ryan sat back, laughing and warmth curled in Luca’s chest at the way his blue eyes crinkled at the corners. “Get out of here, kid.”

Luca grabbed his bag with a cheesy grin. “Yes, sir!”

#blake ryan #luca moreno #idk i just really like their banter

[englishstrawbie]

oh man, I wished we would have seen Maya do the Incinerator, it would have been so cool, and I totally believe that she nailed it, because let's face it, she's efficient in those things, and despite what Pruitt Herrera told Sullivan to not give it to Andy, he just had to watch the results too, I don't know if Andy and Jack had to re-do the Incinerator too when Maya did or the results stayed that way (they did it in season 1 right? then instead the position was given to Sullivan), and I believe Maya wasn't the only competitor for that position too, like we saw the first time, there were a lot of LT trying (Dearborn too!).

Maybe now that she's Lt. again and can gun for Captain again we would see it, it depends on how she would get back her captaincy, by the investigation, they give her back the rank, or she has to redo everything. I didn't wrote "IF she will get her captaincy back" because I wanna stay positive and not think that she won't get it back lol. she has too damn it! lol

They haven't talked about the incinerator since Andy and Jack did it in season 1, so who knows! I can't imagine they'll have another episode dedicated to it - but I do like the idea of Station 19 taking part in some sort of competition against other stations. Especially Andy and Theo at Station 23, it would be fun to watch them get competitive with each other! (For fun... not when there are actual lives at risk.)

I like your optimism! She deserves getting the captaincy back but at least for now we get to enjoy watching her running into fires ago, which I'm not sad about tbh!

#anon

[cviperfan]

Okay so partially motivated by how many references there were in SPoP and largely bc it's been in my backlog for years and I remembered the whole thing got uploaded to youtube a while ago, I finally got around to watching Revolutionary Girl Utena for the first time so time for some hot takes

2 clarify I did see the movie about around 2000 which was my introduction to the series, and I did see like 1 episode back in anime club (over a decade ago now tbh) but for the most part I went into this with only a vague sense of the ending and offhand knowledge of a few of the weird comedy episodes so this was mostly a blind watch

Before getting into #spoilers I will say that this ended up being an easy Top 5 and that it's definitely still worth watching (fair warning for the very frequent rape and incest (and sometimes both)), especially if you've somehow also avoided most of the context of this show like me, and it really is one of the rare Nothing Else Like It kind of show (though it has roots in older shoujo like Rose of Versailles and modern stuff like Revue Starlight have picked up its lede)

Okay spoilers from here on

I really only kinda have vague memories of the more knightly take on Utena from the movie so Series!Utena having this powerful Dumb Jock Energy threw me

Like she's out here invoking the Air Bud Rule from minute one

This bit where Akio is going on about some Important Life Lesson thing and she's just fuckin

crab walking im

what a hero i love her

I have always kinda been more partial to shoujo than shounen bc the sense of like emotional urgency and the heightened exaggerated feelings are just more compelling to me narratively and what Utena does spectacularly is really drive that to fucking 11 and it permeates every aspect of the show

Like the melodrama of it all is so shameless and it's so committed to letting its visuals and music drive the mood and emotional intensity of its stakes that they kind of speak for themselves and demand to be taken on their own terms rather than having clear or rigid interpretations

Like it's kind of a situation of "yes most of what you're seeing ties into the show's bigger themes and characterization but also you can just vibe to the spectacle as well" like even when it's not on the Dueling Arena there's a theatricality underlying everything that pairs perfectly with the spirit of shoujo even as it... not necessarily contradicts it, but challenges it in some ways and also wants to coexist with it?

And I think that's the interesting thing how it wants to tackle some of these arch concepts tied into the genre while also being deeply intertwined with it.  Like it really is a Product Of Its Time in so many ways but it also feels somehow timeless and transgressive in others even now?

Like part of me would be interested to see a remake that took into account 23 years of conversation about how much perceptions of gender and sexuality have changed but at the same time would it lose some essential part of itself in that transition?  idk potentially

Also lbr a hypothetical remake wouldn't even attempt to revise anything it would just redo it thus making it pointless

So I know this has been a thing that's been brought up before but seeing it play out dang RGU and NGE really are just companion pieces to each other huh

Subverting the themes and narrative arcs of their respective genres, mysterious quiet girl who's directly the key to everything, the ritual of action setpieces rendered as Actual Ritual in the story, banger OP, comphet ruining everyone's lives

Also they really don't have much in common comparatively but I'm definitely seeing pieces of Utena in Kill la Kill too?  Particularly how Mako's arc feels like a fleshing out and expansion from the archetype divergence Wakaba got in that one ep (I can't believe klk was the utena/wakaba au fanfic)

Speaking of which damn he is a sleazy bastard and a gross predator but ngl Akio can Get It he and Ragyo are basically the same character and I guess this is just my type apparently???? oops

Like I'm recognizing how like really awful he is but also you really can't blame Utena for crushing on him he is super hot and charming

aside i lost it at the audacity of "well even tho i am a man like twice your age (AT LEAST) and took advantage of the situation and also i am clearly not the type to take no for an answer since you didn't reject me you're basically just as bad as me" bruh

The Black Rose Arc is... interesting bc like it borders on superfluous with how it resolves and yet the introduction of a "monster of the week" type power rangers element specifically built to expand on the secondary cast is a pretty inspired choice

again my primary point of introduction to the series was the movie which is basically a remix of the Student Council arc so when I got to 12 I was like wth are they gonna fill the rest of this with? WELP

What I really like about it is that usually this kind of setup-- the 'character is faced with their dark inner thoughts they shy away from and they become a short-term enemy' deal-- ends with the char in question coming to terms with this and overcoming it to become a better person

but here it's just like... they lose and then they just gotta... sit with that, forever.  Like it doesn't really change the status quo of their relationships w/ utena or the others but it does just stick around for them and now the audience knows that about them too.  like sometimes you just can't take that shit back.

Utena's relationship to queerness, having heard about it tangentially for years but seeing it play out now is also interesting bc while in the grand scheme it doesn't feel necessarily any more ahead of its time than something like Cardcaptor Sakura there is a casualness to it that's distinct

Like for the most part it's either kind of the tangential fluff that even then was part of shoujo as a standard but then there's also stuff like the Akio/Touga or Touga/Saionji hinting or Kozue's casual pass at Anthy in addition to the maintext Juri/Shiori push-pull and ofc the subtext-but-maintext Utena/Anthy threads

I wanna take a moment to talk about Juri bc of how kind of in the spirit of the show itself it plays things both with and against the grain with her

Like she's a Tragic Lesbian which is nothing new but usually this character type (and Distinctively Lesbian characters in general) in anime/manga tend to be portrayed as being very predatory, invasive and either played for laughs or to repulse the audience, so the degree of empathy RGU shows her in 97 is rare to see even now.  

Like there is a "safeness" to her bc of how unattainable Shiori is (though their arc ends in a decidedly ambiguious way), but it doesn't really feel like she's getting the short end of the stick over the more straight-leaning characters bc arguably all of the relationships here are defined by an aspect of chasing the unattainable, echoing Utena's own quixotic search for her Prince, and her choosing to remain closeted feels realistic *especially because* of the surrounding context of how heteronormative the world she exists in is.  Like the character is aware of that and is navigating it in a way that feels honest

Speaking of which it's interesting how the reveal of Juri's pining for Shiori in Ep 7 echoes the bigger reveal of Utena/Anthy bc of how it plays up this heterocentric love triangle or at least it seems to be but then the cards are on the table and no that's really not what it is at all, and it feels significant that after spending most of the series naively oblivious to Juri’s feelings and what she wants out of a relationship with Shiori that Utena finally Gets It in Ep 37

Is it a coincidence Juri actually gets to be the one to point it out? No

Speaking of triangles big ups to the Ruka/Juri/Shiori one honestly bc of how hard it commits to the unknown third result of a LT where absolutely no one comes out happy and it actually works even with the handicap of Ruka basically coming out of nowhere just for these two episodes

Like all three of them want the one person who's absolutely never gonna love them back and that's just rough buddy and isn't that kinda the show in a nutshell

So the thing that struck me about Utena/Anthy and how it plays out is how subtle it really is.  And that does make sense bc while f/f teasing/subtext again was part of shoujo before it's quite a different thing for the heroine to ultimately reject her 2 male love interests and choose a life with her female best friend, esp in nineteen ninety seven

Like I think you can argue that Ep 12 feels like The Moment where What Their Relationship Is, Definitely shifts and that possibility is suddenly there, and then it doesn't come back in a big way until the ending but there are tiny glimpses throughout where you can see that working in the background if you’re really paying attention

Small things like Anthy's flashes of unspoken jealousy, Utena fretting over her even when she's in bed with Akio, and part of that is coming from going in with a knowledge of what the endgame is and keeping an eye out for it.  I can hardly imagine being a viewer during the og broadcast and then ep 34 comes and suddenly the intent is made clear and our understanding of the inciting incident gets all flipped turned upside down

And to a modern viewer I can get coming into this for the first time and being frustrated at just how close to the chest it gets played, but that's also kind of the only way it gets to happen at that point in time?  But I think it ultimately is effective and vital to their individual arcs and dovetails nicely with the themes of the show

Like I remember hearing that original manga creator Chiho Saito was pretty against their paired ending, but with a lot of convincing from Ikuhara ultimately came around to it, and it's hard to imagine the anime's ending working any other way and being nearly as impactful

And there is something really beautiful about the bucking against the established idea of yuri relationships being a childish concept that gets left behind in order to 'grow up' actually becoming the impetus of their own journeys into adulthood and eventually back to each other, and it’s hard not to feel a little disappointed that for this Bold Step and declaration for the future that RGU takes that while yuri is more common than ever it largely continues to exist within the realm of schoolgirls and something to be left behind in adolescence like for RGU’s faults and shortcomings it saw this world of possibility in moving forward, while the genre largely elected to stand still

And it really speaks to either the timelessness of the show or how much the queer experience has remained constant that even with a tragic ending, that hope, or rather the promise of their reunion, feels bold and defiant and genuinely uplifting even now

Like the moment where just before they reach out to each other one final time, and their voices as children speak out to each other, as if finally fulfilling a promise they barely remember, I really did just start ugly crying

Lastly some assorted closing thoughts--

-Touga?  Punk.  Guy really takes advantage of Utena's whole prince thing to manipulate her, ends up losing to her in the rematch and then fucks off to mope for like AN ENTIRE SEASON then pops back up "oh yea im in love with her literally nothing else about my behavior has changed tho" like lmao you tried i guess

-Also i know Touga's design is p stock standard bishounen ojou-sama type but god this is all i can think about when I see him

- Green Touga Saionji is a bitch-ass motherfucker but like he at least tried more than anyone else so uh that's something I guess?????

Like the guy clearly has some unresolved feelings about Touga so i'm inclined to be sympathetic bc wow poor choice my dude but also... bitch-ass motherfucker

-Nanami really went through this thing for me where it's like... she's a brat and a shitty person but it's also hard to really dislike her bc she does get what she deserves most of the time and also she gets kinkshamed more than most of the cast despite none of them really having a high ground over her lol

-Miki did nothing wrong (aside from like the implied incest but that's also like... half the relationships in this show uh)

sidenote I can completely see the notable excess of Incest Subtext/Maintext being intended as like... A Thing to comment on how common it is within shoujo and also tying in to like the bigger themes of Growing Up bc the idea that you’re chasing after your own damn siblings betrays some freudian inability to mature or whatever but tbqh it doesn’t always feel like the show knows the line between commenting on this and indulging in it and RGU is very indulgent by its own nature so I really can’t blame people put off by the show as a whole bc this is an area where RGU is largely indistinguishable from its genre peers

-Juri really did nothing wrong tho also props for having the best duels

-FUCK SHIORI THO for eel 

so obviously i have not seen the show up to now but I've been in yuri circles for a long time so I knew about Juri/Shiori and my perception of it had always been "oh it's one of those kinda messy with complicated feelings" kinda ships where the drama is a big part of the appeal and that's true but like

the actual nature of it I did not realize up to now and OH SHIORI'S REALLY THAT BITCH HUH

So not only does she date that one anonymous guy specifically to spite Juri unaware she doesn't actually like him BUT THEN WHEN THEY GET REUNITED SHE'S JUST LIKE LOL IT DIDNT MATTER BUT HEY WE COOL RIGHT *AND THEN* when she finds out about Juri's feelings she's like HELL YEA I CAN HANG THIS OVER HER HEAD FOREVER FUCK HER

***AND THEN*** when she gets some karma after Ruka dumps her ass she airs her dirty laundry out in front of EVERYBODY like Juri hasn't been dealing with this shit like an absolute champ the whole time like?????

Like ok i get that there's the sad longing drama there and usually that's my jam and the show itself seems to end on kind of an ambiguous note and the follow-up manga from this year seems to leave it as kind of a "maybe" but I'm sorry get Juri a better GF 2020 she deserves better

I saw some Juri/Wakaba going through the tumblr tag for the show and honestly that's some big brain shit I'm here for it

Also now knowing exactly how this dynamic operates it really makes that Jasper/Lapis reference pic one of the SU crew drew of them read very.... interestingly???????? (tho Lapis' design reads a lot closer to Kozue and that's probably a closer personality analogue too)

-I love that thing in ep 37 where the whole SC is just very casually like hey utena if the whole revolutionizing the world thing with anthy doesn't work out uhhh call me im free haha just kidding unless...? lmao

-I'm pretty uninclined to try to pin precise sexuality HCs to characters for series this old where the ambiguity is part of how its danced around like partly coming from my own experience I'm inclined to read Utena as bi but that really is just coming from me?

But on the other hand literally every time a guy is like "i love you utena come be happy with me and we can love each other forever" she's like "k" after having left them on read for a day and disconnects from them entirely so lesbian going through comphet is a pretty valid read i think lol

-Lastly I think it’s pretty interesting but validly frustrating how fast and loose the show’s relationship with dream logic and non-traditional storytelling really is like when the shadow girls show up I was like “oh this is a greek chorus thing and it’s meant to reflect on the themes of the episode” (or uh in the case of exactly Ep 29 to break from tradition and explicitly tell us what a characters deal is lmao) but then no actually turns out they’re actually real characters who exist within the show too fuck you

ANYWAY I really did love this show and felt like I got a lot out of it despite it being pretty infamously hard to decipher but the ways it's inscrutable appeal to me specifically so very happy with this I'm gonna be thinking about it for a while

#revolutionary girl utena #cw: rape mention #cw: incest mention #might follow up with some thoughts about the movie later

[kinghoranshit]

This is Love (LT) Ch 12

Word Count: 2,069

I began making a pot of coffee of the new roast that arrived; it was a sample pot. It's for those who'd like to try some before purchasing a cup. Katie knew how customers thought. She'd been drinking coffee since she was twelve

Despite Katie's arguments, I laid myself off from teaching and have been helping her. Even though she wasn't happy about it, I think she's actually happy to have me around the shop. I liked being around here; the atmosphere was always chill and pretty happy.

"Hey, you can take break for lunch and find a table. I'll be over in a sec with sandwiches. BLT?" Katie put the extra napkins away she had from refilling the napkin containers.

I made a small nod. "Add Turkey?"

A small smirk formed on her lips. "Of course."

I smiled widely. "Yay!"

Katie only chuckled and proceeded to make our sandwiches. I did as she said and found us a table. Before Katie came over, I noted she flipped the sign to close for lunch break. It's only us working most days now. The only person left out of the group was Rachel, and she worked maybe two or three times a week; it's better than nothing.

"It feels so good to sit down." Katie remarked as she set our plates, bags of chips, and two waters down, then plopped down in the seat across from me.

I laughed. "Fair statement." I opened up the bag of regular kettle chips and crunched down on one of them. I began to observe the sandwich, Katie never did wrong. Happily, I picked up a half and bit into it.

"With how much I've seen you, we've never talked about how the relationships are going with the boys." Katie brought up, munching down on one of her own chips. "How is the Tommo?"

I was a little stunned that she brought it up, but she's right. We never talked about the boys. But I felt that it wasn't a necessity for us to. We, literally, see each other 24/7 now, which of course was not a bad thing.

I cleared my throat. "Tommo is pretty good. We're fine. How's Nialler?"

Katie smirked, laughing under her breath. "Nialler is great. He'd like for all of us to have a housewarming party."

I about choked on the bite I just took; this was why she brought it up. "A what?"

Okay, I knew that Niall bought them a house, and eventually we'd move out of the little apartment and live with our boys, but not so soon. I should've expected it though. I was farther along, at twenty-four weeks, than Katie was, at eight weeks, and I knew Louis going to bring it up soon.

I just wasn't ready.

Katie reached over as much as she could and patted my shoulder. "Sorry, I didn't know how else to bring it up. I had a hunch Niall was up to something with getting a house for us, but I didn't think he'd bring it up this soon."

"Neither did I..." I mumbled, and took a drink of my water. "So... When did he plan on moving you in?"

Katie gave me a solemn look. "End of the month. He'd like to anyways... We'll see if you and I let him." A small smirk spread on her lips and it caused me to giggle a little.

"He's gonna have to rip you from my bare hands."

Katie snickered, taking another bite of her sandwich. "Hasn't Louis mentioned a house of some sort for you two?"

"Like you, I have a hunch he's got something, but he hasn't said anything. I'm sure soon though considering Niall jumped the gun. Louis doesn't like to be out done."

"Fair," she remarked. "But you, two, definitely have us beat. Let's just pray Jen doesn't get pregnant with Harry's kid any time soon."

A short burst of laughter left me. "True! We'll just never know with those two... Have you ever wondered what it'd be like if she had moved here with us and didn't stay in the states?"

Katie nodded slowly. "A couple times, actually.. We'd be so much more crammed in that apartment."

"I'm fairly certain we would've found somewhere slightly bigger," I replied, thinking about it. "Is it awful I'm kind of glad she stayed over there?"

"No." She shook her head, eating a chip. "She's not around our fan problems. She's safer. Also, she's doing what she loves back home."

I started on the second half of my sandwich. "Yeah... But I'm certain she'd join in on the fights."

"Hannah Creed?" Katie cocked a brow. "Are we talking about the same Hannah? I mean, she might do something, but she's more of a lover than a fighter. It's one of the reasons her and Harry work well together."

I smiled. "Right."

The two of us finished our lunches, and cleaned up the little mess we made. Katie was going to flip the sign back over to 'Open' but she stopped midway.

"Shit."

"What?" I asked, feeling this weird buzzing start up in my ears; the sensation that something was wrong.

Katie hastily turned around and started pushing me to the back. "We need to... We need to get out of here."

"How? And why?" I asked, slamming on my heels to stop her. She hadn't even told me what's really going on. I assumed fans, but I'd still like to know.

"There's a mob of fans coming. And I don't really know. Both of us got working feet, come on."

I shot her a look. "But we're both very pregnant. I don't think it's a good idea."

Katie huffed, and I could tell she was scrambling to come up with an idea. Finally, she pointed to the office. "Come on."

The little bell dinged above the door and both of us gasped. It went from quiet to loud within a second, and things started to get thrown around. Without a second thought, Katie pushed me ahead of her and we zoomed into her office.

I tried to help Katie as much as I could with pushing the shelf in front of the office door. Now, we were completely locked in the small square office. The only other items were a tiny desk, chair, and whiteboard. Of course, Katie's laptop on the desk; it's how she kept track of everything, besides on her phone.

Katie, honestly, looked like she was going to shit her pants. At least, that's probably how she would have phrased it. And what I asked next probably didn't help.

"Katie, what're we doing to do?"

Katie paced back and forth, her breathing getting heavy. Her lip quivered and she took a deep breath. "I don't know."

Okay. Katie got us here and safe, I'd take it from here. I thought. It was about time I did something. I racked my brain for any idea, then, suddenly, it hit me. I pulled my IPhone out and found Louis's contact. And without wasting another second, I called him. I hoped he'd pick up and he wasn't in the recording booth at the moment.

"Hey Maddy," an Irish voice picked up. Well, he was the second person I was going to call if Louis didn't pick up, but he picked up Louis's phone. It worked out.

I let out a deep breath. "Kat and I are in trouble... Its fans... We're at the shop. Katie locked us in the office."

"Are you, two, okay?" was his next question.

I let out another deep breath, as if to control myself from going into a hysteria of some sort. "Yeah. No one was hurt. The shop on the other hand..."

I couldn't believe she'd have to redo the shop again. I was not ready to see the damage done this time, and I was sure she's not either.

Niall took a deep breath and exhaled it. "Lou and I are comin. Keep Katie from crying. I'm assuming you called cos she couldn't."

Oh, he's good.

"You got it," I replied, then hung up.

Katie was sitting on the floor now, her back against the wall, and she had her head in her hands. I walked over to her, lowered myself down, and wrapped my arm around her to bring her to me.

"It's gonna be okay," I whispered. "We'll be okay."

I tried to sing to her to help drown out the sounds of the raging fans. It was all I could hear. It felt like it was the start of some sort of apocalypse, and I felt like I could do nothing. I really couldn't. I called Louis, and Niall picked up, luckily.

They'd save us.

***

I'd grown so used to the sounds coming from the shop that I didn't even notice them stop.

There was a knock at the door. "Kat? Maddy? It's Niall and Lou." Niall's Irish accent broke through the door; clear as day.

Katie's head shot up and she choked back the tears I knew she'd been holding in. Katie was quick to stand up, push the shelf out of the way, and open the door. Then she crashed into Niall's arms and started crying, harder than she'd cried in a long time; that wasn't counting when the shop had been destroyed the first time.

"I've got you," Niall caressed, rubbing her back, and kissed her head.

Lou came into my vision from behind them and I scrambled to get up so I could be in his strong, comforting arms.

"This is an outrage," Niall stated, still hugging Katie tight. She'd stopped crying, but the evidence hadn't wiped away from her face yet. "Doing this once? That was not okay. But twice? That's enough. I'm done with this fandom."

"You can't be serious mate," Louis shot.

I swear Niall was going to hit Louis himself. "I can't believe you're not serious. If Katie hadn't got them into the office... Who knows."

Louis sighed. "You're just losing steam at the moment. Think this through... True fans wouldn't do this sort of thing."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, don't do anything rash, Niall."

"Yeah, spose so... Unless our fans can miraculously do something to make up for this, I dunno. This isn't just our lives, Lou. It's theirs too, and they can't just go and hurt them when they don't like what's happening."

Louis pointed a finger at him. "You've got a point, little Nialler. I suggest a tweet should be made."

A small smirk formed on Niall's lips and he shook his head, chuckling. "Not gonna be me. Right now, I'm taking Katie home."

I looked at Katie, and she look at me, giving me a small smile; though she looked as if she could start crying again. I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. "Katie, you were great. We're fine, okay?"

She laughed cried. "But you called them. You saved us on this one."

"We saved each other."

"Right." She sighed heavily, and now she observed the damage of the shop. Honestly, it wasn't much worse than the first hit. I think the fact it happened agai was hitting her the most. She let out a little chuckle, starting to pick up a few things. "Nialler, you win."

"I win?" Niall asked, slowly and suspicious. I didn't blame him.

"I'm gonna close the shop. Mainly for the new renovations, but I'll close it down until everything blows over."

Niall walked over to take the broken plate out of her hand and he wrapped his arms around her. "I know this isn't easy for you, but it's the safest for now. You'll be okay."

"I know," she whispered, hiding her face in his chest.

I looked at Louis. "You think it'd be crazy for me to call the school back and say I want my job back for the rest of the year?"

Louis smirked, shaking his head, and he pulled me into a hug. "You're not calling for your job back, love. I'll take care of you. Always."

"Does this mean we're going to live together?" I asked softly.

He peered down at me, curiously and amusingly. "I'd prefer it. But only if you want to."

"Give me till the end of the month," I replied. "I'll be ready."

He placed a small kiss on my head. "It's a deal."

Next: Ch 13

[Masterlist]

#Louis Tomlinson #LT #Louis Tomlinson fanfiction #Louis Tomlinson fic #LT fic #LT fanfiction #fic #fanfiction #romance #comedy #drama #This is Love

[everlarkficexchange]

1,498 mph (Part 1)

Written by: @alliswell21

Prompt 47: Modern. Peeta is back home on his time off from the Air Force or army. He meets the newest employee in the bakery, a younger Katniss, who’s working hard to help her family while still going to school. They fall for each other and they didn’t even know when it happened. [submitted by @animekpopxx​]

this chapter Rated: Mature for language 

Warnings: This is the first part of a multiple chapter story. The rating will still be Mature for adult situations and smut once the rest of the pic is posted to AO3

Un-betaed. All mistakes are mine. Several Songs have been quoted in this fic, Rocket Man by Elton John; Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue; Bungle In the Jungle by Jethro Tull… if you see anything else I forgot to create let me know.  

———————-

  “She packed my bags last night pre-flight Zero hour nine AM”

  I’m quietly mouthing the lyrics of Rocket Man to myself while the whistle of engines zoom by at the speed of light filling the muggy Florida afternoon sky.

  “And I’m gonna be high as a kite… I miss the earth so much… miss my wife…”

The chatter of men talking animatedly mixed with tools dropping on asphalt, stomping boots, and even the obnoxious scraping of step ladders being dragged around from place to place, is just another layer of the hubbub in the yard. Just another day at base, working away the hours,  pretending we aren’t swimming in our own sweat and our skin isn’t sizzling under the harsh sun beating down on us.

  “I think it’s gonna be a long, long time ‘Till touchdown brings me round again to find I’m not the man they think… nonono… I’m a rocket man! Rocket maaaaaaaan… dadada up here alone.

Rocket maa—”

  “Mellark!” Someone calls at the top of his lungs. “Move your ass here, quickly.”

  I jump out of a trainer aircraft I was familiarizing myself with, to find one of my superiors looking annoyed as shit for having to come out here to fetch me.

  “Sir!” I salute and wait to be addressed.

  “Lieutenant, your fairy godmother must’ve thought you were a good boy.” He practically spits, as he hands me an envelope. “You’re going home on break. Now don’t let the news interfere with training, keep your head in that cockpit, and you won’t lose any privileges, capisce?”

  “Sir!” I’m saluting again, but this time I’m so giddy with excitement I can’t keep my face straight in front of this bad tempered badger.

  “Go back to work!”

  “Yes, Sir!” I scramble back to my fighter smiling from ear to ear like this is a redo of the day I got accepted into the F22 Raptor training class.

  Holy shit! I’m going home! Can’t remember the last time I was able to go home for a long chunk of time, but my leave papers say I’m excused for four weeks!

  “Rocket man is coming home, baby!”

——————

  Air Force personnel have all the flight benefits they can aspire to, which includes free rides all over the globe during vacation, and since I’m trying to save every penny in my bank account for retirement, I hitch a ride home, to Panem, North Carolina, all the way from Tyndall Air Force Base, in sunny Florida… well, actually I got dropped off at Charlotte Douglas International Airport, and had to call my pal Finnick to pick me up, since I’m trying to get home and surprise my dad.

  What I’m not expecting is for a reception complete with balloons, signs and a man wearing a tuxedo t-shirt with a bouquet of red roses.

  My first instinct is to cover my face in embarrassment, but Finnick spots me and starts waving exaggeratedly while I walk slowly towards him, pretending he’s not there for me, even though his “Welcome Home First Lt. P. Mellark, we love you!” sing has a huge picture of me in uniform, pasted in the middle of the banner, surrounded by hearts.

  The closer I get, the more details I see, like all the glitter on the sign, or how big the bouquet really is. Finnick is not alone either. His wife Annie is there holding the sign up over her head for every soul to see, and their two sons Finnick Jr. and Andy hold the balloons and point at me excitedly.

  Finnick tells the boys something and the pipsqueaks charge at me like a pair of helions, giggling and chanting “Uncle Peet, Uncle Peet, Uncle Peet!” the whole time.

  I admit the part with the boys is actually pretty espectacular, so I drop my bags, get down on one knee and open my arms wide just in time to get tackled by two little boys I love with all my heart, as if they were my own blood.

  “Finny! Andy!” I wrap them both in a bear hug, their little arms circle my neck. I pick them up and spin them around for good measure.

  Out of nowhere, I feel another body collide with my side, and before I can recognize the slim arms hugging me and the kiddos, a bigger body slams into the group hug, knocking the air out of my lungs.

  Finnick uses his longer arm to choke hold me and plants a kiss to my temple, while the boys laugh hysterically at their father’s antics. The boys slide away from me, and as soon as my arms are free, I playfully shove Finnick away and hug Annie fully, tipping her back in a dip and whispering loudly for Finn to hear.

  “Leave the fresh water sailor, baby. I’m way more interesting, I’m an Air Force pilot!”

  Then I proceed to kiss Annie all over the face, except the mouth. “I so much rather kiss you, than that gorila you married,” I tell her dreamily.

  Annie gives me a belly laugh right before Finnick pulls her away from me with a mock frown.

  “Hey! No fair. I slaved all night making that welcome home banner!” My best friend protest, but everything is so ridiculous and silly, we all just end up laughing like lunatics.

  Finnick and I hug quickly, clapping each other on the back.

  “Good to see you man!”

  “Is good to be home!” I tell him.

  “Sure is! Now, let’s get this show on the road or we’ll end up with a pair of cranky boys if we miss bedtime.”

  Finnick dumps the bouquet of roses in my arms, picks up my duffel and walks towards the parking lot, leaving me and Annie to deal with two chatty boys.

  It’s truly great to be home.

  I pick up Andy in my arms and start whistling Mötley Crüe’s Home Sweet Home.

  ———————

  I open the door to my family’s bakery, and the bell above betrays my presence before I can call out to anyone.

  I’m taken aback when a sultry voice I don’t recognize reaches me with a greeting. “Welcome to Mellark’s!”

  A petite, dark haired girl steps in from the back wiping her hands in one of the familiar aprons embroidered with the Mellarks logo. She looks up from her hands to fix on me the most stunning gray eyes I’ve ever seen. The world stops turning for a whole second while we stare at each other.

  Her eyes widen as she takes me in, and then fly to my latest official portrait, on display on the wall besides the registers.

  The girl blushes violently and stammers at rapid shot, “Oh… um… w-welcome home… sir… um, Lieutenant? I didn’t know… I mean… I don’t think Mr. Mellark didn’t he was expecting you… oh my gosh, I’ll go get him!”

  The girl slips back to the kitchen, leaving me standing there like a moron.

  Finnick walks into the shop and looks at me quizzically. “What’s the matter?” He asks, just as my father runs through the doors leading from the back of the bakery.

  My old man’s hands are covered in flour, and his apron has dried up orange frosting in the chest— which I guess is appropriate, since orange is my favorite color. The man bounds up to me like a runaway mastodon, and before I can even form a greeting, he’s squeezing the breath out of me.

  “My son!” Dad cries into my shoulder. He releases me to pat my cheek with his flour covered hand. “What a surprise!”

  “Peeta!” My brother Ryen yells from behind the counter, before jumping over it to hug me as well. “You didn’t call! I could’ve come pick you up, thickhead!”

  I laugh. “It would’ve ruin the surprise. Plus, what else does Finn have going for him besides picking people up from the airport?”

  Finnick glares at me, “I’ll have you know, even wealthy, trust fund babies, have jobs to report to. You ingrate son of a gun.”

  “Yeah… whatever!”

  We are all laughing merrily, when the bell above the door chimes again, this time for a real customer trying to get some pastries.

  The raven haired girl diligently takes the patron’s order as quickly and quietly as possible, trying to give our reunion space, although between my bags, three bulky Mellark men plus Finnick, who’s no dainty daisy either, we take up most of the front of the shop.

  After the customer is gone, Ryen turns to the girl. “Hey Squirrels, come meet my baby brother!”

  The girl with awesome eyes gives my brother a positively murderous glare, just as dad rolls his eyes and shakes his head. The girl steps out from behind the counter, but her eyes— Gray with specks of blue— stay stubbornly on Ryen.

  “Hi!” I pretty much run up to shake her hand— firm grip and a bit rough to the touch, but that just means she’s use to working with her hands. “I’m Peeta. And I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess ‘Squirrels’ isn’t your name, and you actually hate it almost as much as you dislike my brother?”

  I’ve take the girl by surprise, and then it occurs to me I may be crowding her, judging by her stunned expression and the fact she takes a step back from me.

  The girl gives her head a little shake, and smiles awkwardly. “My name’s Katniss Everdeen. Is an honor to meet you sir, and… um… thank you for your service.”

  I’ve heard the same words a few dozen times today, having just walked through a civilian airport, full of appreciative people nodding at me or wanting to shake my hand since I’m wearing my uniform, yet, coming from this blushing girl, Katniss, makes me feel like I’m actually doing something that matters. Even if I’m just training right now. It’s taken a lot of hard work to be where I am.

  “No, ma’am, is my honor to serve this great country. And you.” I’m about to bow, but my brother starts laughing, completely ruining the mood.

  “Wow, ease up the cheese, Captain Braggy Pants. Squirrels will lose respect soon enough after she hears you singing while you bake.” Ryen guffaws.

  I can’t believe I’ve only been home ten minutes and already I have the urge to strangle Rye. It’s gotta be some kind of record for him.

  “Come on boys. I’m sorry, Katniss. My sons don’t usually behave this way.”

  “No. They behave worse.” And just like that, my mother waltzes into the bakery front, sucking the joy right out of the room. “Peeta,” She says by way of greeting. “I’m assuming your on leave since you’re in your uniform. For a moment there I was afraid the Air Force finally kicked you out.”

  Dad sighs, “Matilda, the kid just got home…”

  My parents have a little staring competition, but as usual, dad turns away after a few minutes, letting my mother win the spat.

  Dad sighs again, tiredly, picks up my bag and mutters under his breath, “Come on Peeta, bring your stuff to my office and I’ll get you a snack, you must be hungry.” Then he turns to my friend, “Finnick, are you staying for supper?”

  “Uh… no, no. The boys are asleep in the car with Annie. I gotta take them all home. But another time!” Finn smiles widely. “Hey, Peet, call me when you’re settled in,”

  “Sure thing, man. Thank you!” I tell him and give him a quick hug. “Say by to Annie and the kiddos for me.”

  “You got it.”

  My mother rolls her eyes, snorting. My father gives her an exasperated glare, but she’s too busy counting the cash in the till to care.

  “Everdeen,” Mom calls not looking up at the girl, “You’re closing the shop tonight. I’m leaving $100 in change in the register, and putting the rest of the money in the safe. That should be enough to tie you over until closing.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Says Katniss stoically, her face devoid of emotion.

  I’m impressed.

  My mother is not the nicest person ever as a mom. As a boss, she’s even worse. Luckily, she only comes around a couple of hours before closing time to check on the books and put the cash away for bank deposits in the morning.

  “Ma’am, about Wednesday—?”

  “Yeah, yeah… take the whole day off if you need to. Peeta is here, so we’re back to fully staffed. The least he can do is pick up the slack for a few hours on Wednesday.”

  Katniss blinks at my mother for a moment, but then I’m turning away so I don’t accidentally punch mommy dearest in the mouth.

  I’m a fucking First Lieutenant in the USA Air Force. I fly fighters for a living! I’ve been deployed in flight missions twice in the last few years; I refuse to let my mother’s bitchyness ruin my vacation… it’s gonna be a long month, and it starts right now, with me showing how many fucks I give!

  ——-

I’m splashing soapy water all over the sink, holding the brush I’m using to scrub clean the trays like a microphone, like a dork. I keep forgetting where I am and with whom, all I know is that washing pots and pans at the bakery is way better than doing it at the kitchen of the training center.

  “Friday night… need a fight My motorcycle and a switchblade knife Handful of grease in my hair feels right But what I — mmm— me tight are those

Girls, girls, girls Long legs and burgundy lips Girls, girls, girls—“

  I turn around and find myself face to face with Ryen going purple, holding in his laughter. I feel myself jump out of my skin.

  “Geez, Rye! The fuck is the matter with you?!” I yell at my brother, ripping the headphones out of my ears angrily.

  Ryen keeps laughing, but when he steps out of my personal space, I wish the earth would open up and swallow me whole, because Katniss is standing by the swing door taking off her apron.

  She blinks at me once with eyes as big as saucers, then looks away, blushing. I’m not sure why she does it so much, blush when she realizes I’m looking at her. Honestly, I don’t know what to think, although I’d be lying if I said I’m not flattered, especially when she regards me with as much respect as if I’m personally some renowned war hero or something.

  “You taking off, Squirrels?” Asks Ryen pulling a tray of muffins out of the oven still shaking all over with a case of the giggles.

  “I am. Mrs. Mellark already knows I have class tonight. She game tomorrow off as well” she says glancing at me apologetically. She adds quickly, “But I’m only taking half a day. I’ll be here in the morning for the rush. See you tomorrow, Mr. Ryen. Lieutenant.”

  “You can call me Peeta, you know.” I tell her with my friendliest smile, hoping she doesn’t think I’m harboring any resentment towards her.

  As if on cue, Katniss’ eyes grow to saucers and her cheeks flush a pretty pink. She nods in agreement and says another hasty goodbye before gathering her stuff and flying out the back door. I watch her go, wondering how long it’s going to take her to get used to me?

  Ryen comes back from the front and squints in my direction. “Dude, if you’re gonna hang out here in the back, you need to keep an eye in the oven, man. The baguettes are gonna burn if you don’t hurry.”

  I glare a Rye and put on oven mitts. The baguettes are fine, just a bit crispier than usual.

  “So, what’s the story with this Katniss chick?” I ask checking on a sheet cake that’s close to being done.

  Rye shrugs, rinsing a rag he brought from the front. “Uh, she replaced Cecilia during her postpartum leave. She was supposed to be temporary, but then Cecilia wanted to stay home with her children, and the girl pretends Mom’s the boss and goes to her scheduling issues, which Mom adores, so she was offered Cecilia’s full time slot.

  “Katniss is finishing her GED. She’s got three nights at week off to attend school, and has a second, part time job when she’s not here, which is pretty much every hour she doesn’t have to sleep or study.”

  “Two jobs and a GED at night? She looks like she should still be in High School.” I say.

  “Meh. She’s nineteen. I think she dropped out and had like three part jobs until we offered full time hours, but I may be wrong. Wheaton was the one who hired her.”

  “So, Dad liked her? I mean if Wheat hired her, and she stayed after he left.”

  Wheaton, my eldest brother, used to manage the bakery before moving out of state. His wife wanted to live closer to her elderly parents to keep an eye on them, so about six months ago they opened up a bakery in a suburb near Atlanta, Georgia.

  Ryen chuckles. “She hunts. Dad likes her squirrels.”

  Now I’m confused. “What do you mean?”

  “Ask him when he comes for closing. He’ll tell you.”

  Later, Dad strolls into the kitchen, ready to help with clean-up and prepping for tomorrow.

  “Boys,” he greets and goes straight to wash his hands after donning his apron.

  I smile at that. Some things always remain constant. Familiar. Like home.

  “Dad, Peeta’s asking if you like Squirrels?” Rye snickers.

  Dad smiles. “Squirrels are delicious. I don’t care if you naysayers disagree with me.”

  “Dad, I think Rye meant Katniss, not the critters…” I’m totally confused now. “Either if you care to elaborate?” I ask watching my father grab ingredients from a shelf and a mixing bowl from another.

  Dad starts talking in that deep voice he used when teaching us a new recipe, “When I was little, my grandpa had this BB gun. He’d take us to his yard and had us shoot squirrels, then we would butcher them, fried them up, and eat them. Best comfort food ever.”

  I make a puking face. I know my grandpa used to make roadkill stews and other mountain folk fare, but I don’t remember dad ever talking about them actually shooting up their own supper like that.

  “Anywho, Katniss comes to me one day, maybe a year ago, and it takes all the courage she’s got, but she offers me a trade. She finds out I actually enjoy squirrel meat and asks if I would take a handful of her squirrels for a loaf, or at the very least a couple of buns.”

  “What? You’re joking right?” Now I’m concern about this girl: GED at night, multiple jobs, now she hunts squirrels and trades bread for them?

What’s going on here? “Is Katniss, okay?”

  “Oh, she’s better than okay,” Says dad smiling fondly. “She gets the squirrels right through the eye every single time! Born huntress, that one.”

  “And you traded bread with her? Isn’t there some kind of regulation or something against that kind of shit?” I balk at my father’s cheerful face.

  “I was hesitant at first, I mean, this is some urchin from the Seam, trying to barter with me like we’re in the 1800s or something. But then she shows me her squirrels, and I’m telling you, that kid has skills with a bow and arrow.”

  “Get out here! Is that even real?”

  “True story, baby bro…” Says Rye smiling wickedly.

  I’m flabbergasted. At least Ryan’s nickname makes sense now. “Why would you do that? How do you know it was her who do the shooting, if she’s got this amazing superhuman aim? I mean, how does she even know to trade with you? That’s just so random.” I ask skeptically.

  “She’s the one shooting. And the reason she knows I’m partial to squirrels, is because I grew up next door to her mother. In fact, and don’t tell your mother this, I used to be a little sweet on Katniss’ mother way back then. But her mama was a couple of years younger than me, and then she met Everdeen, and I realized it wasn’t meant to be.” Dad shrugs, and goes back to measuring his ingredients.

  “Okay, but a kid hunting down squirrels and trading them away, doesn’t sound very sanitary, let alone legal.”

  “So what? Are you gonna report her? Leave her alone, man.” Rye throws me an aggravated glare.

  Dad shakes his head sadly. “Katniss, needed the trades desperately. Wheaton decided to offer her a part time job to help her out precisely for the same reasons you just listed. He gave her a condition, though, she had to go back to school and finish up, she’d just drop out. When I was able to offer her a full time position, I kept the school deal, she’s about to get her GED diploma, and we’re talking community college for her next step, we will see.”

  The bell above the front door rings, and Rye goes tend to the newly arrived costumer.

  “Where are her parents?” I ask dad still puzzled. “She sounds like an orphan.”

  “Mr. Everdeen passed away a while back. Some work related accident. The mother is still around, but she’s not exactly well. Katniss has a little sister, a few years younger than her. She’s pretty much raised the girl herself.”

  Well, now I feel like shit for distrusting everyone’s judgement, particularly Katniss.

  “She seems nice.” I say awkwardly.

  “She is. Hard working, smart, fast study. Honest and a trustworthy. She’s one of my best employees.” He gives me a pointed look and goes back to baking.

  “Yeah… I bet. So… where’s Thom?” He’s been with the bakery since I was in high school. Him and my ex, Portia, were hired the same day. In fact, Portia stayed with the bakery after we broke up, which blowed.

  “Thom is off this week. Jury duty. Your mother was so annoyed she almost wrote him an excuse from serving.” Dad rolls his eyes.

  “And Um… Portia?” I feel a nervous swoop in my stomach at first, but it doesn’t go beyond that.

  Portia was angry I decided to enroll in the Air Force instead of going to college with her, like she wanted. We were both interested in art and design, but she was passionate about it, while I just enjoyed it as a hobby… one I truly loved. I still doodle, and my drawings are still great if I say so myself, but nothing compares to flying a bird capable of breaking the sound barrier.

  Portia couldn’t understand why I had to go away and become a pilot, I just couldn’t stay cooped here, while the sky is so big and free. She accused me of just wanting to run away from home, but the truth is, I love my family, I love North Carolina; being away from Mom is just sweet, gooey icing on the cake, but it’s been ages since I’ve develop a thick skin against her.

  Dad takes his time kneading the dough before answering my question. “Portia got married. Nice fellow named Cinna. I made the cake myself. She left the bakery maybe two months before Cecilia announced her last pregnancy.” He stays quiet for maybe ten minutes, then he speaks again. “Delly has been coming in more often to pick up the slack. But the whole Cartwright clan is in Dollywood, celebrating Grandpa Cartwright’s 90th birthday. Ryen was supposed to be there, but stayed since Thom had jury duty.”

  “Is that why Rye looks so broken up?” I ask sarcastically, because my brother seems happy as a clam.

  Talk of the devil, Rye bursts into the kitchen chewing on a pastry. “Dodged a bullet there.” He says coming to lean by the big fridge, smiling at me.

  “Yeah, it spending time in an amusement park with your wife and in-laws must be nightmarish.” I deadpan.

  Ryen laughs heartily.

  “Its truly is a blessing that you showed up now. It gives us tons of wiggle room to work, and maybe we start training Katniss in more technical stuff. I’ve been meaning to do that, but I never have the time.” Says Dad ignoring Rye’s interruption and the small rude gesture war we’re silently having between us. “She’s still not a very good froster, but she’s a heck of a saucier.”

  I look at my dad for a moment, and then I put the sheet cake on a rack to cool.

  Dad keeps talking placing a batch of cupcakes in the oven I just emptied. “I want you to know how much I appreciate your help here, Peeta. I know you could’ve gone anywhere else in the world, enjoying a well deserved break like a normal person, instead you came home and started working in the bakery right away. All I can say is, thank you. You’re a godsend and very good son.”

  I smack Rye with a tea towel when he starts making kissy faces, addressing my father like nothing’s going on with my brother.

  “Dad… you know I rather be here than anywhere else, even if I’m free labor.” We both chuckle at that. “Seriously Dad, I love being here. More than anything.”

  “That’s good, Peet. Listen, I talked to your mother last night, and I told her it would be a good idea… and you tell me if I’m wrong, but, I was thinking you could use the apartment above the shop while you’re here.”

  “Dad… that’s… I wouldn’t want to impose—“

  “Is no imposition, son. The apartment has been vacant since Ryen and Delly moved to their new place; its fully furnished and you’ll have privacy…”

  “Oooh! Bachelor pad!” Ryen wolf whistles, and Dad fixes him with a glare Rye ignores.

  We all know Dad means I’ll be away from mother, and her nippy remarks and passive aggressive comments.

  “Son, you’re twenty six years old, you’re used to being in your own. Mom and I are just a block away, and Ryen and Delly will be here every day.”

  “I don’t know what to say, dad. That’s awfully generous.”

  “Nonsense! Say you’ll take it and enjoy your time in town. You’re not a kid anymore and you don’t need to live in your parents guest room, when you can have a place for yourself.”

  I smile. “Okay, Dad… if you insist.”

  “No heavy partying without me!” Announces Rye, kicking off the fridge and grabbing his stuff to go home.

  Dad and glare at him, but I’m still so grateful. My vacation just got more relaxing!

  ——————

  I don’t see much of the bakery the next two days, because I take time to clean up upstairs and then decide to take a day off to hang out with Finn and his family at their cabin by the lake.

  Finnick comes from an affluent family, that made their fortune in the seafood business. Finn is a ‘lawyer’ who only represents his family’s business. Annie on the other hand, is a Public Defender who mostly works pro-bono, “to balance the karma” according to Finn.

  Ironically, Finnick’s favorite thing to do, is sit in a kayak in the middle of the lake doing nothing. Sure, he has fishing equipment, but as he puts it, “unless you skewer them with a trident, fishing is not an exciting sport.”

  The thing is, anything we do together, whether is fake fishing in his kayak in the lake, going out for some beers with my brother and his friends, or simply sitting in the porch with the little minions, telling them about what it’s like to fly a fighter, everything is fun with my best buddy here at home.

  “I heard Portia got married,” I say offhandedly late in the evening, when Annie takes the kiddos inside for baths.

  “Yeah. Saw her the other day. She looks good. I think you’d like the husband.” Finnick says scanning my face, like he usually does when he’s trying to gauge my moods.

  I only shrug. “Good for her. She deserves to be happy.” I wait a moment and then ask after another girl I used to date on and off, “How about Cash? She doing okay?”

  “Yeah.” He chuckles. “Cash is on her second divorce, and on her fifth Mercedes. Prettiest thing around… if you’re into fake boobs and artificial asses, that is.”

  We both smirk and shake our heads ruefully, Cashmere was never a subtle one, and her only love has always been bling. Can’t blame the girl when her mother named her kids so ridiculously vain: Cashmere and her twin brother, Gloss, and little Glimmer, who’s got to be around Katniss’ age. All three, golden haired children with the world at their feet, on the back of a dad who could barely afford his utility bills, but hey! His kids had the most expensive clothes, toys and stuff in town. No wonder Cashmere grew up with that askew rich-or-die mindset.

  “And you, loverboy?” Asks Finnick, “any lady friends you’d like to share about? I hope you have some juicy stories for me, I can’t go back to Annie tonight with the same old gossip as always, you know.”

  I laugh at that. Then grow wistful. I shake my head.

  “There hasn’t been anyone in a very, very long time.” I sigh. “I had an arrangement with one Major in my squadron while on assignment. But she’s actually married, and wasn’t looking for a full blown affair. She just needed to scratch and itch and I was the helping hand. But since I’ve been in the training program, I barely have time to whine about my sore shoulders, let alone romance anyone.”

  “Aww, buddy… I’m sorry.” Finnick says sadly, then glares at me and tells me in a serious tone, “You stay away from my wife! I’m onto you and your home wrecking ways, Top Gun!”

  I have to laugh at that, “As if I could snatch her away from you!” because there’s nothing more ridiculous than the notion I could ever try anything funny with Annie.

  She’ll slap me silly for starters, and then there’s the deal of how much I love my friend to ever hurt him. He’s always been there to support me, and when things got rough at home with mom, he was the only one who could help me see the good in life and in myself.

  “You’re an idiot, you know.” I punch him in the shoulder and he punches back.

  “No more than you, buddy.”

  ———-

  “Let’s bungle in the juuungle!

Well, that’s all right by meeee…

I’m a tiger when I want looooove,

I’m a snake if we di-sagreeeeee…”

  I look up self conscious that I’m being watched and mocked, although I’m barely audible, humming under my breath.

  I’m only mildly surprised to see Katniss by the sink, towel drying a few utensils. She’s got the ghost of a smile on her lips and she’s nodding her head rhythmically while mouthing what I think are lyrics to the song I’m singing.

  She most have felt eyes on her, because she looks at me with the corner of her eyes, and actually smiles when it’s confirmed I’m watching her. She stops what she’s doing and rotates her torso towards me.

  “I take it your iPod is allergic to music from this millennium.” She says with a lopsided smirk, gesturing to my earphones with a wooden spoon.

  “Has there been music produced this millennium, though?”

  She rolls her eyes, but her smirk stays in place. “Jethro Tull I can understand. My father was quite the fan and they were geniuses. But I have to question your taste when you sing anything from a band so demeaning to women as Mötley Crüe.” She arches her eyebrows daring me to contradict her. “Those guys were so foul, the Me Too Movement would’ve had a field day burying then in lawsuits.”

  “Ma’am, I have nothing but respect for women. Is not my fault good music is extinct nowadays.” I risk saying something else, and pray she doesn’t crucify me instead. “I think women back then needed the Me Too Movement, maybe groupies would’ve had someone looking out for them, telling them they didn’t have to let some asshole use them like they were trash just to show their love for the scene.”

  Katniss’ lips twitch, her sparkly gray eyes study me for a moment. And then she switches topics.

  “What’s the newest thing you have on your playlist, lieutenant?”

  “Call me Peeta, please… every time you call me Lieutenant I feel underdressed out of my uniform, and I don’t know if I should salute you or order you to do push-ups.”

  She her shoulders shake a little with her silent laughter. She licks her lower lip, and smiles at me. “I hope you don’t make me do push-ups. That will be the end on my employment here. There’s only so much a girl can put up with at work,” Her eyes twinkle in amusement.

  “Well, don’t call me Lieutenant, and nobody has to exercise.”

  “Okay… Peeta. I won’t ever call you by the title I’m sure you worked hard for, then.”

  I go mute for a solid second. My name in her lips sounds… otherworldly. I’m oddly aware that my mouth is hanging open like a dying fish, but by the time I gather my wits around me to respond, Ryen bursts into the kitchen with another set of empty trays.

  “Squirrels, you’re done with that? Good! I need a favor, watch the counter for me. Gotta tinkle.”

  Katniss scowls. But says nothing else immediately marching to tend the front counter.

  Me on the other hand, cry out, “Ewww! TMI, dude! Nobody wants to know that shit!”

  Ryen gives me an outraged face, with his mouth forming a wide open O and his eyes equally rounded. “Language, Lieutenant! What will Captain America say? Shame on you, sir.”

  “Shut up, fuckward.” I tell him laughing.

  “When did you change branches, little brother? You’re supposed to be an airman not a potty mouthed sailor!”

  “Shut the hell up and go pee already!” I ball up a small portion of the dough I’m kneading and throw it at him.

  “My goodness! What’s going on here?” Gasps a clear female voice from the back door.

  Rye and I turn to the voice at the same time, just as my beautiful, extremely pregnant, sister-in-law, dumps her purse and a big tote bag on an empty chair by the door.

  “Delly!” I call excitedly. I leave my station, dusting the flour off my hands on my pants, to hug the woman, boxing Ryen out of the hug. “You look—“

  “Good enough to eat!” Ryen speaks over me, elbowing me out of the way.

  Delly blushes mortified, I gag, and my mother who’s just walking through the door oblivious to everything stares at us suspiciously.

  “Why is everyone just standing around lollygagging?”

  I decide we need to put a bell over the back door too. Too much traffic we missed coming in, in my opinion.

  “I’m on a potty break, Peeta is a potty mouth, and Dells just got here from Dollywood!” Says Rye kissing Delly in the cheek and rushing to the restroom just outside the counter at the front of the store.

  Mother doesn’t react to anything, but marches on to the office and leaves Delly and me finally alone.

  “I will never understand what you see in Ryen. He’s loud, annoying and as mentally advance as a thirteen year old boy, but hell I’m so glad you can stand that idiot!”

  Delly laughs, “Aww… he’s a cute idiot though. At least the baby will be a looker.” We hug each other and she kisses my cheek. “I’m so glad you’re home! Sorry I wasn’t here to welcome you properly.”

  “Well, you’re here now, looking amazing, and I can’t wait to meet the little rugrat. Being an uncle will trump flying any day!”

  The office door opens up bringing my mother back into the kitchen. She stands just outside the office to glare at us. “You’re still just loitering around? Get back to work people!”

  Delly tries to tie her apron on the back, but she’s having trouble, Katniss comes in from the front just as my mother starts for the swing doors, and before I can offer to help Delly with the string, Katniss is making a neat little bow with the very tips of the of the ties.

  “There!” She says.

  Delly turns her head towards the raven haired girl and smiles gratefully. “Thanks!”

  “No problem at all, Ms. Delly.” Katniss nods at my sister-in-law and goes to her peg with her messenger bag hanging from. She sticks her hand in the bag and ruts around blindly for a bit, pulls out a phone to send a text. Then she drops the phone back in the bag and returns to the front.

  As Katniss is passing us by, Delly asks, “Is your shift over, Katniss?”

  “Forty five more minutes. But Jo is picking me up today.”

  “Car problems again?” Asks Delly washing her hands.

  “As usual. The poor girl is in her last legs. Pretty soon I’m gonna have to break down and get a new car. Is too bad, Old Green has been a trooper for sure.”

  “Well, if you need a ride at all next week let us know, you hear?” Says Delly drying her hands on a paper towel.

  “Sure thing! Thank you, Ms. Delly.”

  I try not to eavesdrop, but is just impossible when I’m not wearing my earphones. I simply watch Katniss walk back to the front, and file away the information I just heard in my mind, without any real reason to. I finish my bread, put it in the oven and tell Delly about it so she can pull it out when it’s done. I plan to make myself scarce by time Mom is done with the registers. The less I see of her, the better my vacation will be.

———-

  Saturday morning comes, and I’m too restless to stay in bed past 0600.

  I’m slowly coming down the internal staircase to the apartment, the office sits directly under it, so I’m trying extra hard to be quiet, in case Mom is here. But then I have to snort at myself, because Mom hasn’t been to the bakery before noon in years.

  When I’m halfway down the stairs, a soft, pleasant sound starts filtering up from the kitchen. Some vaguely familiar ballad, and then my heart gives a little jolt, when the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard puts lyrics to the music.

  “Down in the valley valley so low Hang your head over hear the wind blow Hear the wind blow dear hear the wind blow Hang your head over hear the wind blow.”

  I keep trying to stay quiet as I step down, this time because I don’t want to disturb the singer, in case it’s an angel from heaven in the kitchen. I don’t want to spook it away before praying for its blessing.

I reach the landing, just as a new stanza begins, and when I come around the corner, see the long thick braid of Katniss’ hair, swing lazily down her back every time she sways to the song.

  “Roses love sunshine violets love dew Angels in heaven know I love you Know I love you dear know I love you Angels in heaven know I love—-

  “Oh my God!” She screams when she turns to place a tray of cinnamon rolls in the oven and sees me standing in the middle of the kitchen just staring at her like an awestruck dumbass.

  Years of training as a pilot, plus the ones of being in my high school’s wrestling team, not to mention ducking out of my mom’s projectile trajectory when she was pissed off with us, has afforded me great  reflexes. Thanks to those, I miraculously save the tray with rolls without missing any.

  “I’m so sorry!” I start apologizing.

  She’s clenching her chest with one hand, while holding herself upright with the other one grabbing the edge of the counter behind her. She shakes her head vehemently. “No, serves me right for doing it to you the other day.” She says massaging her chest. She cocks her head sideways and peeks at me with one eye half open while the other is shut tightly. “You startled me. I didn’t hear you come in. I thought I had locked the back door when I came in. Not many people can sneak up on me like that.”

  “Oh no… I’m staying upstairs!”

  “That explains it then,” she gives a nervous laugh. “I had no idea you were living upstairs.”

  “Well…” I tell her lamely. “I’m still sorry for startling you.” I tell her over my shoulder, placing the tray in the oven for her. “You have, the prettiest voice I’ve ever heard by the way.” I try not to sounds so stalkerish.

  She smiles but shakes her head. “Hardly. But thank you.”

  “So, uh… you’re here…” I cringe at myself. What kind of stupid thing to say. “I mean, I wasn’t expecting to see you here this early. Not that I have any idea of what anyone’s schedule is. I know I’m supposed to help anytime I’m awake, but that’s just me—“

  She lifts a slightly greasy hand up to stop my rant, and smiles. “It’s okay, sir. I swapped schedules with Thom, the other baker, so he could sleep in after a week of just sitting in the waiting room for his jury duty. Apparently the poor guy is exhausted from doing nothing but reading whatever controversial title that drunkard Abernathy recommended him to read in the waiting room to avoid actually sitting in court.” She shrugs, “I figure I rather have the afternoon off to spend it with my friend Jo or my sister, Primrose.”

  “Cool.” I say feeling like a sixty year old coot trying to sound young. “Uh, that song you were just singing…?”

  She chuckles turning to the sink to wash her hands off. I’m pleased to see a nice pink take over her olive skinned cheeks.

  “I guess you’re not the only one who enjoys old music.” She turns down the volume on the iPod dock by the sink. “It’s a mountain air. My dad used to sing to me all kinds of old, folksy songs. But I don’t sing much unless I’m alone.”

  “Why? You’re voice is incredible.” I tell her earnestly.

  Is a good thing she’s preoccupied wiping down her working station, because I can’t stop gawking at her. I’m noticing all kinds of traits I find just adorable; like the way her nose wrinkles at my words, disturbing the faded smattering of freckles over the bridge of her nose. Or how perfectly shaped her eyebrows are, and how her blush makes her look so pure and innocent.

  “I’m okay, I guess. My father was the real deal. But he’s been gone for a long time now, and all I inherited from him were a bunch of old Appalachian ballads.” She doesn’t sound sad or bitter, just factual.

  “Well, I wouldn’t mind working with your voice as ambience noise.” I smile, hoping she takes it as a light hearted compliment.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to serenade me with your 70’s and 80’s jams?”

  It’s my turn to chuckle. “I’m fine, but by all means keep abusing my self esteem.”

  Her eyes go as round as silver dollars, “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to—“

  “Katniss! It’s a joke! And remember, it’s Peeta.”

  “I— I know. I’m sorry. It’s just, my father always taught me to be respectful to servicemen and women, and it’s just ingrained in my mind. Um, thank you for volunteering to protect our country. I have a little sister, you know, her safety is the most important thing in the world to me. I’ve thought several times of joining the army. They have so many benefits I could use, but I just can’t leave Prim alone so long, so I’m very appreciative of people who does leave home to train and become… uh, our defenders?” Her blush is so intense now, I feel bad for the poor thing, but my heart is beating wildly in my chest eating up all this undeserved praise.

  “Ugh… I’m sorry. I’m not very good at talking. I always say the most awkward stuff.”

  “Oh no! You’re great!” I try to assure her. “I’m the one who’s done nothing much to begin with. At least not something I’m terribly proud of, other than flying like a fiend when I need to. Your dad sounds like a stand up guy, I’m glad you had a man like him in your life. And as for joining the army, you can serve plenty around home.” I’m not entirely sure about the last part, but in my head it sounded like the right thing to say.

  “Well, I think you’re great.” She says, but as soon as the words leave her mouth, she goes into a mortified rant, avoiding my eyes at all costs. “I mean… um, I think what you do is great. And your folks are so proud of you too!” She stammers and talks so fast I barely catch up everything she said.

  “Oh yeah,” I say before I can stop the sarcasm, “Mom is real proud of the free labor I provide for her while on leave.”

  I look up defensively, not wanting pity from her, but there isn’t any of that in her soft eyes at all. Instead, she smiles at me, and nods towards the swing doors; she waves me to follow her, and then she points at my picture by the register.

  “Mrs. Mellark is not the nicest person around, but see how that picture hasn’t the tiniest speck of dust on it? She pulls a rag or a handkerchief if she forgets the rag, and cleans the frame every day after counting the money in the till.”

  She lets the information sink in for a bit, letting the door leaf she’s holding open for me swing back into place. She walks back to her station and starts on a batch of muffins.

  I stay there for a moment longer before stepping to the shelf with fresh laundered aprons, grabbing one for myself. The cynical part of me can’t accept that my mother would have a sweet gesture towards me without an ulterior motive; maybe she wipes down the frame so her bridge club friends believe she’s a proud, dedicated, mother… or maybe it’s to show up that church deacon lady she’s got this unspoken rivalry with, I don’t know what her angle is, but I keep it to myself, because I don’t want Katniss to think I’m ungrateful or whatever.

  I just get to work on kneading bread. Methodically and repetitive, relaxing and familiar. I work my frustration with each fold and every time my hands squeeze the malleable concoction on the table. I feel like this is where I belong. I’m actually happy working the dough. It’s not the same rush adrenaline flowing when I get in my cockpit, but here, in this place with a sweet country melody in the background, I feel content.

  Me and Katniss start working on the same station when my dad shows up fifteen minutes later. It’s actually nice sharing the counter with her. She’s tidy, efficient, and meticulous and takes suggestions gratefully. So when dad asks if I’d mind teaching her some frosting techniques, I make a stupid joke, but jump to it with both feet in.

  “Katniss, if you want to decorate cakes like the masters, Peeta’s the guy to learn from.”

  “I don’t know, Pops,” I say eying the girl in mock suspicion. “Can she be trusted with my trade secrets?”

  Cue in the blushing and shying her gaze away. I can’t help thinking she’s cute… pretty, really. I feel like I should be doing something to impress her with my baking and frosting talents.

  “Come, Padawan, I’ll show you the ways of the frost!”

  Katniss looks up at me and tries to hide the curl of her lips. “Okay, but I’m not calling you master,” she says low enough I have to strain my neck to hear her.

  “Peeta will do!” I say winking at her, and her cheeks go impossibly scarlet; the sight enthralls me and I wonder if I can keep doing and saying things to make her blush. “Alright!” I give a clap, “let’s do this!”

  We spend the next couple of hours icing cookies, stacking cakes and practicing the basics of mixing colors. She’s very studious, doesn’t blush as much while we’re actually working on the task at hand, which I respect very much about her. Katniss asks questions confidently and tries to figure out things from her own perspective until she has a solid hold on a concept or skill I’m showing her. She’s serious, but scowls less than when Ryen is the one talking to her.

  Delly and Ryen arrive a few minutes into our decorating techniques class, and Dad comes to our station to tells to take a break, but we’re almost done putting on the base layer of frosting on a birthday cake, and Katniss insists she wants to see it through.

  At around 0930, Rye peeks his head through the swing doors and calls loudly. “Hey, Squirrels, you’ve got visitors.”

  Katniss looks up scowling. “Who?”

  “Your sister and her friend.”

  “Uh… I’m a bit busy—“

  “Take a break, Everdeen!” Says Dad walking by us with a steaming mug of coffee, heading to his office. “Or I’ll dock you thirty bucks!”

  Katniss’ face sours right away, and I have to shake my head ruefully at myself for thinking she’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t help it. I think I’m infatuated with the girl, which is so strange to me. I know things about her, but I don’t know her, and then, there’s the issue of our age difference. We’re like six years apart… it hurts my head just thinking of it.

  “Okay, Mr. Mellark. I’m taking my fifteen minutes.” She says morosely, stepping away from the counter, untying her apron and dusting her hands from flour.

  She wipes herself clean, straightens her Mellark’s uniform, and nods at me. “Thank you for taking time to show me how to decorate a cake. I appreciate your help.” She tells me very politely, with a businesslike edge.

  “Hey, I’m not done with you yet,” I tell her and see the color fill her face before smiling, “I’ll make the best pastry chef around out of you. Count on it!” I wink again, and she doesn’t disappoint with her shy smile.

  “Thanks. It means a lot.” She nods, and goes out the front, to see her sister.

  I’ve been in the back on my own for a bit, and Delly calls from the counter, “Hey, Peeta? Are there any more cheese buns in the cooling rack? We need some out here.”

  “Cheese buns coming up!” I answer already grabbing the tray.

  The bakery is packed. There’s a line snaking around the side of the counter, mostly people try to grab something and go, but we also have a few tables by the back wall, cafe style, completely full. My eyes go straight to the long, thick, dark braid in the very back corner. Her back is to me, and a pair of teenage girls sit facing the display case I’m stoking with pastries.

  Katniss’ table is a picture perfect diversity poster. One of the girls is blonde and blue eyed, with ivory skin; her friend has a smooth ebony complexion, with a riot of dark curls framing her thin face, and soulful brown eyes that light up when she notices the cheese buns have arrived; and then there’s Katniss, with her olive skin and gray eyes with streaks of blue in the irises. A beautiful palette of people.

  “Peeta, would you mind taking two cheese buns and an apple turnover to table five?” Asks Delly bagging a loaf for a customer.

  I look up at Rye, who’s busy taking a cake order over the phone.

  “No problemo!” I tell her reaching for a plate and forks.

  As it turns out, table five is Katniss’ table. Objectively, I knew that already from years working in the bakery, but for some reason the two things didn’t correlate until I looked towards table five, and the two teens were craning their necks around a stiff looking Katniss to gawk at me.

  Aw! High schoolers! Not much has changed.

  The girls start giggling quietly and elbowing each other while their amused eyes flit from me to one another; they start swapping hushed comments behind their hands but their voices carry anyway.

  “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he’s coming over!”

  “Gah! Are you seeing those baby blues?”

  “No! I’m preoccupied with his biceps! Lord have mercy!”

  Katniss pounces forward, leaning closer to the girls. “Cut it out! He can probably hear you two!”

  “Morning, ladies!” I say loudly, not to startle Katniss since her back is to me. I hold up the plate of pastries to them. “Two cheese buns and an apple turnover. Enjoy!” I give them a polite nod and place the plate in the middle of the table, trying to remain professional for Katniss’ sakes.

  “Thank you, Captain Mellark,” Says the blonde, who’s obviously Primrose, judging by how much her features favor her big sister, except for her hair color.

  “First Lieutenant!” Katniss hisses at her sister, eyes alarmed and full of aggravation.

  “It’s fine,” I assure them. “No worries. Call me Peeta if you’re in doubt.” I smile at them beatifically and then move on from the table.

  I can hear the girls giggling and Katniss’ mortified groan.

  “Oh my gosh, he’s hot!”

  “Primrose! Mind yourself!” Katniss berates her sister in a harsh whisper.

  “What! I’m fifteen, not blind.”

  “Rue, what are you doing? Put the phone down! Oh my god, you’re gonna get me fired!”

  “I’m texting Jo! I’d be in trouble if don’t.”

  “Oh yes! Jo will like to hear all about yummy airman here!”

  Katniss grunts, “Ugh! Eat your snacks and go home! And please, leave Jo out of this.”

  Is the last thing I hear them say. I’m wondering who this Joe person is? It’s the third time the name creeps up in conversation, and I just don’t like the little flash of annoyance I feel when I hear it.

  ———

  It’s a slow Monday, so I give myself the day off and run a couple of errands around town: fill up the tank of the car Delly let me borrow while I’m home, call up a couple of friends to say hi, hang out with Finn during his ‘lunch break’, then go grocery shopping, because I’ve been subsisting on bakery scraps and junk food for the first week of leave, and I should at least try to maintain a healthy diet, so I don’t get too fat. Getting back in shape at training isn’t my idea of fun.

  It’s bizarre how many times I have to stop to say hi to some acquaintance while pushing my buggy around the store. Most of them are my folks’ friends, that want to see the ‘fighter boy’. Sometimes it can be too much, but I try to think of it as supportive. This people saw me growing up into what I am today. It’s understandable they want to let me know I’m making my little hometown proud, just for doing what I’m passionate about.

  What I’m not expecting is to literally bump into Katniss Everdeen in the frozen vegetable aisle.

  She’s walking backwards from the fridge with an armfull of assorted veggies, and I just happened to come around the corner too distracted, because I’m waving a little old lady from mom’s knitting club bye, to see where I’m going.

  All of Katniss frozen bags fall to the floor.

  “I’m so sorry!”

  “Oh my god!”

  We exclaim at the same time. After a second of staring at each other in disbelief, we dive down to pick up the bags.

  “No, no. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have grab all these at once.”

  “No, the fault is mine. I should’ve been looking where I was going.”

  We bring the veggies to a shopping cart a foot away from Katniss, and filled to the brim with groceries, and dump the lot on the very top.

  Katniss pulls a piece of paper and a pen from the back pocket of her jeans and scratches something out, stuffing the writing materials back in their spot. She finally looks up at me, blushing as usual.

  “Um… so, Monday, Monday.” She says nervously, staring hopefully at me while balancing on the ball of her feet.

  It takes me a minute of just gawking at her puzzled, before figuring out why she’s acting so peculiar, until it clicks.

  Lyrics. She’s quoting a song.

  I smirk and answer, “Can’t trust that day.”

  She bites her lower lip, that does nothing to suppress the biggest smile I’ve seen on her so far. “Sometimes it just turns out that way.”

  I’m so enthralled watching her lips that the next line comes all choppy at first. “Every other day. Every other day of the week is fine,”

  “Yeah.” She actually sings the word, which makes me chuckle.

  We continue lobbing lyrics back and forth for a bit.

“But whenever Monday comes,”

  “But whenever Monday comes, you can find me cryin´ all of the time.”

  “Monday, Monday.”

  “So good to me.”

  “Can’t guarantee.”

  And now we’re just staring at each other in the middle of the deserted aisle, and suddenly we’re laughing loudly.

  “That was…”

  “Ridiculous!”

  “Oh, but it was great!”

  “No it wasn’t! It was so… cheesy! I’m just glad you knew the song, otherwise I would’ve looked like a total idiot.”

  She actually puts her hand on my forearm— for balance I assume— and I think this is the first time we touch, other than when we met and shook hands. My skin is all tingly where her fingers lift from.

  But our bubble of merriment gets obliterated with the literal pop of loud gum bubble popping right beside us.

  “Wow… Sunshine is onto somethin’ here, Brainless.” Says a girl with spiky, short, brown hair, wide-set brown eyes with one eyebrow arch in scrutiny, and the most obnoxious gum chewing I’ve ever seen in a female. “Aren’t you gonna introduce me to Captain Muscles here?” She spares Katniss a devious glance, and then returns to scan me head to toe.

  Katniss’ lips thin out, she’s fighting off a blush, but the blood filling her cheeks is winning. Reluctantly, she turns to me, “Lieutenant, my best friend, Jo. Jo, First Lieutenant, Peeta Mellark.” She gives her friend a murderous glare.

  “You’re Joe?” I ask idiotically while narrowing my eyes at the girl… clearly female. “I thought you were Katniss boyfriend.” I extend my hand for her to shake.

  She watches my hand and lets it sit in the air for a second or two before taking it and squeezing hard. She holds a penetrating eye contact while shaking my hand. “Who says I’m not, just because I’m a girl?”

  My mouth goes dry. I scratch the back of my neck embarrassedly, I open my mouth to say something, because really, Katniss could be in a same sex relationship for all I know. Just because she gets all pink in the face when I’m around doesn’t mean she’s attracted to me… or any man for that matter.

  Katniss groans, but just as she’s trying to say something her friend speaks.

  “Johanna Mason,” Says the girl eyeing me with a devilish gleam in her brown eyes, “as deliciously awkward you guys look right now, I have to admit Brainless is not my type. Too stoic and hero like for me. But you on the other hand…” she gives me a mock roar, and Katniss turns beet red with the deepest scowl I’ve ever seen.

  “Jo!” Katniss hisses.

  Johanna rolls her eyes, “I’m just joking, for fucks sakes! Don’t get your panties in a knot, KitKat.” She blows another irritating bubble gum and smirks at me, “see you around Fly Boy!” She winks and takes the handle of the shopping cart. “Come on girlfriend, let’s pay for your shit. I’m tired of meander around like a headless chicken.”

  After waving goodbye at me woodenly, Katniss follows her friend to the registers, and I stay there wondering how the hell such a goofy, cute encounter could have just fizzled down so fast with one single pop of a gum bubble?

  ———-

  Thom is back from jury duty and the workload evens out easier with another experienced baker in the kitchen.

  Katniss has school in the evening, so her shift starts around 0800, until 17:30. Since I get to chose my own hours, as long as I show up a minimum five times a week, I decide to show up after lunch to work on an order of cupcakes easy enough for Katniss to practice the basic frosting I showed her on Saturday.

  After we’re done with those, Thom slips me a piece of paper with an order for a four tier wedding cake in fondant and sugar flowers. Thom looks absolutely delighted passing on the task to me, because after all, decorating the cakes was my specialty growing up.

  “When is this due?” I ask scratching my head with the back of my wrist, trying not to get vanilla filling on my hair.

  “Friday evening.” Says Thom gleefully turning to some easier pastry to deal with. “Figured you’d like the chance to get back on the saddle!”

  “Gee… thanks.”

  Thom smiles, “What can I say? It’s good to have you back!”

  “Let me guess, the bride is a perfectionist. A real bridezilla.”

  “Nah. Bride’s sweet as pie, the mom on the other hand… total bitch.”

  I groan. It’s always my luck, having to deal with crazy cougars, trying to live up their dreams through their daughters weddings.

  “Shit. This thing says the order was placed yesterday. Why am I getting it today? This only gives me three full days to finish.”

  “Well, your lazy ass didn’t come in yesterday, and the boss said to give you the work order, he thinks you’ll have a field day with it, ha! Better start baking those cakes, dude.”

  “Fuck it!” I hang my head low, and shuffle to the pantry to get the ingredients. It’s four tiers in a different flavor each, and one of them is supposed to be filled with fresh strawberries.

  “Mmm, I can help you… if you want. I’ve never worked with fondant, but I can mix a cake no problem, and you need four of those.”

  I look up to find Katniss’ hopeful grey eyes, watching my tower of ingredients shyly.

  “I guess I can teach you how to work with fondant while we’re at it. I’ve heard you take evening classes. We can work on the technical part of the decoration during the morning…”

  “I can come back after classes too.” She offers eagerly. “I get out at 8:15, which puts me here around 8:40 or so. Unless that’s too late?”

  “No, no, that’s perfect. Okay, partner, let’s kick some cake ass!”

  Working the cake with Katniss is actually a lot of fun. We listen to music on the iPod dock, and she makes fun of me for not liking the Beatles, but having all of Johnny Cash’ collection. It’s a moot point, since she knows all the lyrics to every Johnny Cash song that pops up in my device. It’s nice.

  She goes to school, and I take a nice three hour break. No sense working in the cake if I have to show Katniss how to work with it.

  She shows up again at 21:45, and I let her into the back door, promptly locking us in after she steps into the kitchen. The front has been closed for hours already, but I’m not very comfortable with the back unlocked at this time.

  “I just don’t get it,” she says pulling a face, sifting in the flour on the table top to knead the fondant.

  “What’s that?” I ask without lifting my yes from my own batter.

  “Oh, nothing, is just that you’re this greater than life legend here in town— you should hear Abernathy’s tall tales about you— but you’ve been cooped up in the apartment, pretty much all week, instead of going out and stuff.”

  “I’m a house wart. I rather stay in than going out. You?” I look at her under my eyelashes.

  She makes a face. “I’m antisocial according to Prim.”

  “You seem to do pretty well around me, so you’re not completely antisocial.”

  She smiles gratefully. “And I’m not sure how I manage that.” She says softly, looking down at the block of fondant we’re supposed to be working with.

  “Why is that?” I ask haltingly, a small thrilling swoop in my stomach tells me to tread carefully with her. I don’t want to do anything stupid.

  Katniss eyes take an earnest shine, and I finally understand that “Windows to the soul” thing they say about eyes. I can see so many emotions in those big, gray eyes that stare at me like I’m something really special.

  She turns to the fondant, “So, after kneading this thing, we use the rolling pin… how thin do we need it?”

  Oh she’s good! Master deflector I see. I nod almost imperceptibly staring her in the eye.

  “Well, for this cake they only want white, but other times we would have to add a couple of food coloring drops, if the order calls for it. Then we knead with a bit of flour so it doesn’t stick to the table or our fingers, and you’re welcome to wear gloves if you want to, so you don’t stain your hands.”

  I show her for a minute, then let her take over, and keep giving her tips here and there to work more efficiently.

  We put filling in all the separate flavored cakes, and prep them with frosting to place the first layer of fondant down. I tell her we will work on the individual tiers before stacking them together and go on about the correct way to lay fondant down, but her first attempt is a disaster. The fondant is too pasty and thin, so it sticks together and brakes apart like melted marshmallows.

  “I’m so sorry,” she winces. “I promise I’ll get the next one right.”

  “It’s okay, nobody gets everything perfect the first time they try something new.” I tell her softly, wiping away the table so we can start again. “It’s just sugar, you’ll get it. Here, let me help you.” I offer, standing behind her and putting my hands over hers to guide her while rolling the piece of solid icing.

  As soon as I feel her small hands under mine, and feel her lithe body shiver against mine, I realize what a total mistake this is. I should move away, really, but I don’t want her to think she’s done anything wrong, so I bite down on my stupid nervousness and keep teaching her how to make a cake.

  “Like this,” I say softer than I intended.

  Katniss follows the instructions, and then I really should move away, but she says she needs help placing the newly rolled out fondant, and I’m her teacher, I can’t just leave her there on her own; but fuck if my body is not reacting to her like I basket of hormones.

  “We… pick up the rolling pin with the layer of fondant, and carefully… unroll it on top of the cake. Don’t let the rolling pin fall on the cake. That’ll be bad.”

  She chuckles that silent laugh of hers where only a puff of sound escapes her, and her shoulders shake until she’s done laughing.

  I almost groan. The slight of her ass momentarily grazed against the front of my pants, and my dick immediately reacted to it, as it had been called to action… hell… when was the last time I had sex with anyone other than my hand?

  “Okay! Done! I’ll take it from here!” I speak breathlessly and too fast.

  “But it’s my turn to lay it down.” Katniss protests.

  “You don’t have to. I can finish myself…” fuck, “The fondant, that is.” Fuckety fuck! Shut up mouth… now!

  I have no idea why am I still bracing my arms at each side of her on the table, I really should step away now, but she tilts her head almost around to look at me, and those twin moons are so pretty and full of wonder, I can’t move.

  “How’s this?” She asks in this thin voice that tugs at me.

  I look down, and realized she’s been working on the icing all along, and other than a crinkle here, and another there, she’s pretty much done with the last cake.

  “That’s great. Thank you!”

  She smiles widely at me. “Now we just need to set it aside.” She tells me turning in my arms, with the cake in her hands. It’s the only thing that forces me to move away.

  Once she places the last tier on a shelf to rest. She looks up at me. “Thank you, mister Peeta. Working with you is such an amazing opportunity, I have no words to tell you how grateful I am for all your family has done for me.”

  “Peeta. Please.” I say quietly, coming closer to her like a magnet to another. “It’s an honor helping you. You’re a very dedicated apprentice. Tomorrow we will make flowers.”

  “Okay.” She exhales breathily, and her eyes keep dipping to my mouth. “I can’t wait…”

  I’m standing five inches from her… or at least I think that’s how far my chest is from hers.

  “Are you hungry?” I ask her suddenly.

  “I— Yes. I could eat.” Her eyes focus on my face intently. “I’ve never seen the apartment upstairs. Is it comfortable?” She asks.

  I can feel the blood pooling in my groin. “It’s great. I grew up there. I can give you a tour, if you agree to have a sandwich with me.”

  She bites her lip and nods. “Okay.”

  “Let’s go then.”

#Springtime Edition 2019 #submission #alliswell21 #animekpopxx #prompt 47

[miguelhernandez19]

About Love Tangle’s end(?)

I haven’t talk about Love Tangle’s discontinuation yet because I was busy at work this week and didn’t feel comfortable to sit in front of computer to talk about it, but I guess it’s a good time becaus coincidentally this is my 200th post here (and I may mumble a little but feel free to read if you want)

I discovered Love Tangle after looking for some datinng simulator game  in my sister’s tablet earlier this year because I was passing through some personal problems and remembered how Mystic Messenger helped me through late 2016 and made me have this silly thought: there is no other datesim as good as MM!! xD While I was at the game’s page I looked for some related games and there was our good LT (and other Shall We Date games as well).

When I first played I saw many suggestions to play Miguel x Nolan because they both were strong likeable characters, and as I played their route, I realized why. Fine, the dialogues were weaker compared to the Cheritz one, but man, while I was playing I realized... Miguel is that one cool friend which is always there and you may fall in love with him (not forcefully)! And since Nolan was being an ss himself, I went all in for our swimmer character ~and that’s why I decided to talk the game in my twitter / ohsomacho acc while reading some @lovelovetangle reposts and suggestions ~until I decided to open another tumblr but only for him this game.

Now that the game will probably be over in December and SWD is going to focus on Story Jar / Obey me I don’t really know what to feel, because I managed to play this game in my routine (even now that I’m working almost everyday)... It’s sad but we all know they suck at listening to our feedback, or like... if we ever wanted the game to end. (ok that the objective is to keep it profitable but I really feel they could have extended the game until next year, I guess)..

My predictions are similar to @samcybercat‘s: they’ll put LT in Story Jar just like they did with Lost Alice and maybe they’ll release new spin offs there. But as for me, I don’t feel like downloading SJ and lose all my progress to restart from zero and keep farming stuff -although I do love the characters... Maybe because I’m lazy to redo all of that again xD.

However until December 30th and forwards (or until I naturally lose interest) I’ll keep posting about it and interacting with you people! Let’s enjoy the time we have and share our experiences with our favorite characters~

#personal #pessoal #love tangle #ntt solmare #shall we date

[droidmom]

Eleonor from The good place, Wash from Terra Nova and Sam Carter

Ty!!

Eleanor (im not caught up so this is based on my fading memory of the previous seasons)

First impression: horrible person who i am still rooting for because she is sooo prettyy and entertaining Impression now: i would say "she's come so far" or "im so proud of her" but i have no idea how many redos have happened since i last watched kljsdhfkljsdf still proud tho Favorite moment: all of the gay shit she's said about tahani Idea for a story: i feel like after all the redos nothing i can think of hasnt already been done so! AU where eleanor and tahani meet instead of dying and they cant stand each other but the gay (aaaand possibly eleanor realizing tahani is rich) keeps them in each other's lives long enough to develop a littleUnpopular opinion: i dont rly care about eleanor/chidi tbh. like it's important representation and it's v well written, it just isn't my style. Favorite relationship: either the brotp of her and michael or her/tahani Favorite headcanon: nothing's coming to mind atm 

Our Lord and Savior Lt. Commander Alicia Washington 

First impression: "i don't know where guzman went but WOW i am not complaining that this strong beautiful goth gorl who just ate a goddamn insect replaced him"Impression now: absolutely amazing and beautiful and the whole colony would fall apart without her and that's why we couldnt have a season 2. the ppl behind this show really really did not know what they had nor did they deserve her. Favorite moment: !! when she fought off a bunch of sixers on her own. simone kessell did ((most)) of her own stunts and it was sO so cool. and of course it resulted in the "still doing taylor's dirty work?" confrontation with mira which sparked so much gay angst headcanons. really that whole episode was great?? i love that she still had her wounds from the fight later on. like we've seen their med tech being advanced enough to heal cuts in an instant but she really just let it be. between that and her hair being down and her being so good with leah and just !! it was so nice in the earlier episodes when wash actually got scenes lol :/Idea for a story: that episode where mira and taylor keep imprisoning each other out in the jungle before realizing they have to work together to survive?? that but mira + wash. Unpopular opinion: im not super into wash/taylor. i see where it comes from but i love them more as a brotp than anything i think? Favorite relationship: threeway tie (lol) for wash/ayani, wash/mira, and wash/being alive. Favorite headcanon: she lowkey adopts a bunch of kids by accident. like she already has leah clinging to her, and with leah comes her brother sam. then if mira's daughter sienna ever makes it to tn (because i just rly need the sixers to reintegrate and wash/mira to reunite and rebuild the colony) there's that. plus the security team is basically a bunch of kids who look up to her.  

Sam Carter

First impression: "i started this show so i could get to claudia black's episodes at some point but i think im a little in love with this adorable blonde ray of sunshine" Impression now: ADORABLE BLONDE RAY OF SUNSHINE Favorite moment: is it cheating if i say the blooper where amanda calls rda "mr. mac-useless"? if so, then the time she was wearing a leather jacket and yelled in maybourne's face.Idea for a story: really i just want her and that pretty russian scientist dr. markov to have more missions together. Unpopular opinion: i feel bad all my unpopular opinions are about ships for this kljsdhfsdkljf but uhhh while i see the chemistry for sam/jack, it isn't something i personally care for. also! i wanna mention linnea Somewhere in here so like... lowkey i ship them (while acknowledging it would be an absolute mess, of course). it's just interesting imo and me shipping both that and sam/ke'ra is literally how i knew ke'ra was linnea before the reveal. really if this show had more girls to ship sam with i probablyyy wouldnt need to be like this and yet, Favorite relationship: sam/janet kfhkljsk. i also rly like her brotp with daniel early on though.  Favorite headcanon: so between her dead mom and (previously) shitty dad, i just rly want catherine langford to have kinda sorta taken over as a maternal figure for her back when they wouldve been able to work together more.

#sg1 tag #tn tag #long post #leatvshows

[kaygun]

Using Neural Networks to Detect Graph Properties

Description of the problem

Today, I'll redo something that one of my students (Emre Yuksel) did in his senior graduating thesis: I'll construct neural network models to detect regularity and bipartite-ness in graphs. To be clear: I am doing similar experiments without using Emre's code to see if we get similar results.

Some theory

A graph is called regular if every vertex has the same degree. On the other hand a graph is called bipartite if one can color vertices in two colors such that no pair vertices of the same color are connected by an edge.

Neural network model

Let us start by importing our libraries:

import tensorflow.keras as ks import networkx as nx import numpy as np from random import random from sklearn.model_selection import train_test_split from sklearn.metrics import accuracy_score

I am going to need two functions that return a mixture of random graphs and graphs of certain type.

def randomGraphs(n,m,p,q,regular=True): X = [] y = [] for i in range(n): s = random() r = p + (q-p)*random() cls = 1 if s<0.5: res = nx.random_graphs.fast_gnp_random_graph(m,r) cls = 0 elif regular: res = nx.random_graphs.random_regular_graph(int(m*r),m) else: ell = int(s*m) res = nx.bipartite.random_graph(ell,m-ell,r) X.append(np.array(nx.adjacency_matrix(res).toarray().flatten())) y.append(cls) return (np.array(X),np.array(y))

And here is the code for the experiment itself:

def Experiment(N,m,p,q,regular=True,epochs=10): X,y = randomGraphs(N,m,p,q,regular) x_train, x_test, y_train, y_test = train_test_split(X,y) model = ks.Sequential() model.add(ks.layers.Dense(m*m,activation='relu')) model.add(ks.layers.Dropout(0.5)) model.add(ks.layers.Dense(m,activation='relu')) model.add(ks.layers.Dropout(0.25)) model.add(ks.layers.Dense(1,activation='sigmoid')) model.compile(optimizer='adam',loss='binary_crossentropy',metrics=['accuracy']) model.fit(x_train, y_train, epochs=epochs, batch_size=int(N/epochs)) y_pred = model.predict_classes(x_test) return accuracy_score(y_pred,y_test)

Testing regularity

print(Experiment(2000,50,0.2,0.3,True,25))

Epoch 1/25 19/19 [==============================] - 1s 52ms/step - loss: 0.7299 - accuracy: 0.5740 ... Epoch 25/25 19/19 [==============================] - 1s 49ms/step - loss: 0.0354 - accuracy: 0.9900 0.908

Testing bipartite

print(Experiment(1200,50,0.2,0.3,False,10))

Epoch 1/10 8/8 [==============================] - 1s 50ms/step - loss: 0.6087 - accuracy: 0.7289 ... Epoch 10/10 8/8 [==============================] - 0s 51ms/step - loss: 0.0046 - accuracy: 1.0000 1.0

An analysis

First experiment yielded 91% accuracy while the second yielded 100%. It looks like using Neural Network models to detect graph properties does work!